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#we were robbed of his 3 brain cells
codename-adler · 3 months
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3.
Welcome back to the Neil & Seth shitshow!
i love my dummy sweet pea princesita seth sm we were robbed of his 3 brain cells
*Context for the Aaron tweet: in my Kevaaron fic “dance ‘til you find someone to die for” as well as my Kathea 🌺 wip et general hcs where Aaron and Katelyn have to separate, Kate has a mental breakdown from her multiple undiagnosed mental illnesses and thus is interned into a psych ward for months while events unfold on the outside. i just saw the tweet and thought it was funny and a lovely coincidence :)
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akhaste · 11 months
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Lee Yoon - Song of the Bandits Sketchs/ Studies 1920's & 1890's
Bonus: 1920's, but without the 'stache
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itgirlgyu · 9 months
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QIWIIIII HIHI
Oml I saw you post SKZ hcs (💗melting in the cracks of my ceiling rn but in a good way💗) and I wanna read it as I'm getting into skz at the moment and like KFNYAKAGAKA- OKOK THE BANNER IS SO GOOD LIKE???? ANOTHER SLAY BANNER BY THE ONE AND ONLY PHOTOSHOP-PICSART-IDK-WHAT-APP-YPU-USE GODDESS 😤😤😤
I haven't read it yet tho because I wanted to ask (and I hope this isn't a dumb question (spare me I haven't been to school for like *counts on fingers* 3 weeks 😭😭 IVE BEEN ROBBED OF MY BRAIN CELLS)) what does the title mean exactly? Like... We, a regular-shmegular hooman, punched THE STRAY KIDS??? 🤠😳😃
(P.S. send help. my heart literally shivered and quaked thinking about punching Felix 🥹💔🥹💔🥹)
(PPS have a hand quokka bcuz I'm nice 🫶)
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omg hi!!!! i missed seeing in my dash so much!! also oooh you're getting into skz???
and thank you so much!!!! ive like changed it's banner like three times i think lmao
i don't blame you for not getting the title bc it's so weird, it's like that one trope where the main character is like, "that's my wife!" and punches a random man in a club that is hitting on their gf but I wanted to make the skz guys those random man and reader the main characters and was like 'heh how would the skz react if they were that random men wrongfully punched?'
also i thought of jisung getting very embarrassed and had to write it lmao and you know YOU KINDA MADE ME WANNA WRITE ANOTHER SKZ HEADCANON THANK YOU!!! (thank u for the quokka!!)
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21witnokidz · 2 years
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IN THE GHETTO
Chapter 10
Warning: Smut
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8 years later
Moldy peaches? No. Bit off apple? No. Stale bread? Doable.
The gang had made their way close to a town called Armadillo, fairly close to Blackwater. All you were trying to do was find some food since y’all were running out.
“Dutch you’re not gonna believe what I found. It’s gonna blow your mind”. Of course you were being sarcastic when you presented him the stale bread you found in the empty cabin.
“Hm.. well I bet that’s better than whatever the hell they’re giving to Arthur in that prison” Dutch said helping setting up camp.
That’s right. We had a little run in with the O’Driscolls before coming here resulting in Arthur getting arrested. I don’t know what he expected when he decided to try and stay behind to loot the dead bodies he shot.
“I’m gonna go and bust him out. You comin Hosea?”
“I might as well. I already have a plan in tact”
You and Hosea rode your horses to the Armadillo jail and saw the sheriff sitting at the front desk smoking a cigar.
“Here’s the plan. You’re gonna go in there and report a robbery while I slip in there and get our boy out”
Hosea always had some scheme cooking up in that brain of his. We honestly could’ve gotten Arthur out yesterday but we all thought we should keep him in there for the night for him to think over his stupidity.
You walked inside the jail and put on my best face to look like you had been shaken up.
“Mister sheriff please! There was this terrible man outside who robbed me! If we hurry we could catch him and throw him in this place like the rest of the trash here!”
You looked directly at Arthur while saying the last bit who had his hand covered over his mouth trying not to laugh.
“I’m sorry ma’am but we have to wait for someone else. I can’t just leave the jail without anyone keeping watch-“ the sheriff tried to explain
“Please sir he’ll get away. He stole my engagement ring my late husband had given to me and... and- that was the only thing I had left of him” finally you broke down into tears.
“O-ok. I’ll look for just 5 minutes but after that you’re outta luck I’m sorry”
“Thank you” you got up and wiped your crocodile tears
After you and the sheriff left, Hosea came in and stole the keys. He unlocked the bars to Arthur’s cell.
“Took ya long enough”
“Yea well Annabelle insisted you stay another day for being stupid”
Annabelle, Colm O’Driscoll’s sister, a girl who Dutch had found to be sweet on. Now she ran with y’all in the gang taking on the same role Bessie had.
After the sheriff had looked for the nonexistent man for 5 minutes he gave it up like he promised, sending you on your way with 3 dollars for sympathy. You kinda felt bad for lying to him. You found your way back to Arthur and Hosea seeing Arthur with that stupid smirk.
“Hey darlin’”
“Don’t hey darlin’ me”
Still you let Arthur pull you into a kiss. Things had been different since that accident at the mansion. You and Arthur agreed to just not talk about it again and move on. Now Arthur was 22 and you 21 and you guys were much more mature. Or so you liked to think.
“Is there anything back at camp I’m starving”
Those men at the jail most likely hadn’t given him anything to eat ever since he got thrown in there.
-
Back at camp everything was set up including your and Arthur’s shared tent.
“Ok please tell me we caught a wild boar or something” Arthur expressed his hunger once more.
“Well geez Arthur. Not even a ‘hello’? As soon as you come back you immediately start asking for food” Bessie, who was just recently gossiping with Annabelle was still a nagger. Still you guys did make up after the whole scene you caused after the mansion job.
“We have salted beef with stale bread. Take it or leave it”
“Oh I’ll definitely take it”
Ever since we figured out what gang the man with the pig birthmark belonged to we had been tracking them down. Eventually Dutch did become rivals with their leader, Colm O’Driscoll. After all he stole his sister from him, Annabelle.
Arthur leaned towards you after finishing his food.
“Wanna go into the woods?”
Immediately you got up and made your way to the woods with Arthur right behind you.
“Be careful you two” Hosea meant that both ways of course.
Arthur pushed you up against a tree and attacked your lips. “That food must’ve done something to your nerves huh baby?” You laughed into his mouth. “Nah it was that cold night in jail. I hate being by my lonesome without you”
“What’ya want me to do to you sugar?”
Whenever he used that name you knew exactly what was on his mind.
“Anything you want”
“Ooh I like the sound of that”
He threw your shirt over your head and started nipping at your neck. You started wearing pants and a shirt more often since it was easier to ride a horse and get around. The only downside is that it was harder for Arthur to get his access to you.
He pulled your pants and undergarments down and grabbed your hips. You unbuckled his belt and pulled his already hard member out. You put your arms around his neck and kissed him hard. “I’ve missed ya so much sugar I fear I might be fast” Arthur admitted. He inserted himself into you slowly and you both sighed at the same time. He pulled out and pushed himself back in fully bottoming out.
“Stop being gentle and just fuck me”
“Patience sugar”
He started at an agonizingly slow pace which was actually starting to make you frustrated. Like damn he just was just talking about how much he missed you and now he’s trying to tease you??? Despicable. You squeezed his shoulders hard and he understood and decided to stop teasing. He quickened his pace causing moans and whines to slip out of your mouth.
“You like that sugar? You want me to go faster? Harder? This is your rodeo doll just tell me how ya want it”
“Harder. Please you feel so good don’t stop”
He slowed his pace down a little to put more force into his thrusts. He could feel the tension in his stomach start to build up. “It’s gonna happen. Are ya close?” You shook your head and Arthur felt a little disappointed. He knew he wasn’t gonna last long but he at least thought he could make you close before he came. He pushed you harder to the tree for support and brung his left hand down to start rubbing on your clit.
“Oh Arthur. That’s it just hold out for a bit baby”
“How can you just say that when you’re squeezing me like a vice down there”
Finally he brought you to an orgasm that left you shuddering in his arms.
After a few more thrusts he finally pulled out and came on the floor. You both were breathing hard but were glad you both got able to finish. Believe it or not that was kind of a luxury. Between Arthur always being called to go on jobs or him just simply not being able to hold himself long enough, one or both of you always gets left unsatisfied. And whenever Arthur cums too fast, which is often, he always feels really bad and makes sure to use his fingers on you after.
Still his ring for you sits heavy in his pockets.
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judyhopps934-mt-zd · 3 years
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Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon
Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!
Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!
I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.
The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.
I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...
...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.
It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.
Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.
Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!
Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!
Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)
I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.
Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.
At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!
Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!
Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!
Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.
Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.
Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?
Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.
And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.
Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.
She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.
Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...
...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.
This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.
Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.
That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.
Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.
1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.
2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.
Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!
Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!
Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.
The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul
The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.
Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.
Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.
Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!
They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.
Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.
Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.
Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!
Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)
The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.
Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.
Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)
Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".
Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...
...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...
...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!
Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.
Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!
Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!
So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.
I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)
Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...
...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.
We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...
The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!
Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.
Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).
CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.
ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!
Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.
Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.
The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???
Final showdown!
Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.
Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.
The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!
Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)
Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.
I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!
The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.
Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.
Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.
Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!
Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*
Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.
Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.
Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!
I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.
Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!
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Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 3
Bundy
Cult girl gets some unbelievable news.
Trigger warnings: death, emotional manipulation, discussion of cult leaders Koresh, Jones as well as Ted Bundy
"Who the fuck are you, and what the shit are you doing with my dead cousin's phone?" You said, the slam of the car door audible from the speaker.
"Cheerio to you too, [F/N]." Anna answered.
You brought the phone to your chest to muffle the speaker and heaved a sigh.
"It's fucking Anna." You told Hannibal as he climbed into the car.
He buckled his seatbelt. "Put it on speaker."
You pressed the speaker button. "Froot Loops. Why do you have Theresa's phone?"
"Don't you remember?" She asked. "I took it when she died. Hers had a much better camera than my old one. I thought I told you to update that in your contacts?"
"Oh yeah, I do remember that." You nodded. "The body wasn't even cold and you'd already gotten to grave-robbing."
"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about." Anna snapped. "Show a little respect."
You rolled your eyes so far back into your skull you could practically see your brain cells dying. "Why are you calling, Anna? I'm fairly fucking certain I told both you and grandma to never speak to me again."
"Well, grandma won't be doing much speaking anymore." Anna snapped. "Because she's dead."
You sighed. It wasn’t the first time you heard those words, and it was never true. Faking her death was the hammer in her gaslighter toolkit. Meaning that the desired outcome could be produced just as effectively using a combination of other tools, but none were as efficient as a good old-fashioned bashing. The first time, you went through the whole five stages in ten minutes to really sell that you felt something other than relief at her passing. This time, you didn’t have the energy. 
“Did somebody finally strangle her to death?” You asked. “Shame, I would have liked to do it myself.” 
“Are you so completely void of human emotion that you can’t even pretend to be sad?” Anna shouted. 
“No, because I think this is another one of her manipulations.” You explained. “She probably roped you in thinking I’d believe it if it came out of your mouth. But the joke’s on her, because you’ve been her puppet since preschool.”
“You really are something else, [F/N].” Her voice wobbled, as if on the verge of tears. “The woman who raised us had a stroke and died. That’s not a manipulation, it’s the truth!” 
You began to consider the possibility that Anna wasn’t lying. Your voice took on a more solemn tone as you resigned to give her the benefit of the doubt. "A stroke, huh?"
"She died in the hospital." She said, softly.
There was real emotion in her voice. You thought back to that high school production of Legally Blonde, which proved that she was not skilled enough at acting to fake it.
You sighed. The crushing realization that you may very well have been the jerk in this conversation hit you. "So, what now?"
"I know better than to ask you to help out with the funeral." She said. "You didn't come to Theresa's, after all."
The reason you gave for not going to Theresa's funeral was schoolwork. It was a flimsy excuse, but hid your real reasons well enough. Those were much touchier. You couldn't bear the thought of listening to people lie and embellish stories of your cousin's positive influences on people's lives. But you also couldn't bear the fact that at least some of it wouldn't be lies.
You were the one that killed her. Your fiancé chopped up her body and served it to your friends for dinner. Theresa was a sociopath, a narcissist, and plenty other highlights in the DSM-5, but the pain she left after her death was real. It was the most real thing about her. You weren't desensitized enough to face that.
"Good call." You answered, flatly.
"Liam and I will be flying out tomorrow night." She said. "I know I'm in no position to be asking for favors, but if you could come pick us up from the airport-"
"Sure." You answered with a nod. You didn't know what exactly you were agreeing to as you did. Anna's words were just dissipating into the air, hardly reaching your ears.
"Thanks." She said, as emotionlessly as you. That was perhaps the most mutual understanding you'd ever achieved with Anna. And it only lasted a couple of seconds.
That was about as natural a conclusion to the conversation as you could have hoped for, so you hung up.
Hannibal pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. "What are you thinking, love?"
You leaned your head against the window and looked up at the few visible stars. "I've spent so many years wishing her dead and now that it's finally happening, I don't know what to feel."
He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, knowing exactly how to keep you grounded when your mind started to wander off. You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. He kissed you on the head.
"I thought her dying meant I never had to think about her again." You shrugged. "But now I'm thinking about her and hating every minute of it. And that probably means I loved her. Which is terrifying to think about."
"You think about Jim Jones and David Koresh quite a bit, don't you?" Hannibal asked, squeezing you tight. "Do you love them?"
You shook your head. "That's different. That's academic curiosity."
"But why do we remember them?" Hannibal posited, stroking your arm. "Is it reverence?"
"It's to learn." You answered. "To make sure history doesn't repeat itself."
"Death isn't a sacred thing, my love." He whispered. "Don't feel bad for remembering her as cruel. That's what she was. Don't let anyone forget it."
You chuckled. "Did you know that when Ted Bundy died, a bunch of people near the prison shut their breakers off so the electrocution would be more painful?"
"Interesting." He said, referring less to the fact itself and more to the reason why it came to mind when it did.
"That is to say, I don't actually feel bad that she's dead." You clarified. "I feel bad because I know I should and I don't."
Hannibal pulled you into his arms and placed a kiss on your forehead. "I thought after four blissful years together, you would know you don't have to pretend around me."
You lowered your head. "I guess I'm just scared that if I take off my person suit around you, I'll never be able to put it back on."
"You never need to worry about that, my love." He assured you. “I know it’s scary, but all it takes is a little practice.” 
“In that case,” You felt a smile creeping onto your face, so you let it. “I think we should celebrate.” 
"Well that can be arranged." Hannibal rolled your hair. "With a bottle of Cava in my office."
You felt a laugh coming on, but it just came out as an ugly wheeze. "That is so unethical. I would love to."
"No," He corrected, opening the driver's side door. "It would be unethical to empty a bottle of wine down that pretty throat of yours without a little food."
"It's the middle of the night, Hanni." You objected, though the rumbling of your stomach told a different story. You slammed the car door shut.
Hannibal smiled to himself, disregarding your protests entirely. "Foie gras au torchon, with a bit of brioche, perhaps?"
"Well that sounds like a proper celebration." You grinned, tightening your grip on your clutch excitedly. “Do you mind if I get cleaned up?” 
“Of course not, love, take your time.” Hannibal said, releasing you from his embrace. 
You headed towards the house, a little extra spring in your step. 
“Oh, [F/N]?” He called out after you. 
You looked over your shoulder. “Yeah?” 
“That thing you said about Ted Bundy.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s a myth.” 
You frowned, feeling kind of stupid. “Shit. I really wanted it to be true.” 
Hannibal smiled, reassuringly. “But hundreds of people still celebrated his death.” 
90 notes · View notes
mochegato · 4 years
Text
Nannyette
Chapter 1     Chapter 2
  Chapter 3 – Lions and Robins and Ladybugs, Oh My
“The lions!  This is where the lions are!  I love the lions.  I love their hair.  It goes out everywhere.  I wanna make my hair look like a lion.”  Mar’i babbled loudly and happily as she pulled Marinette towards the lion exhibit. “Do you think we’ll see them?  I hope we see them.  They’re my favorite.”
“I thought the otters were your favorite?” Marinette commented with a smile.  Almost every animal they’d seen had been Mar’i’s ‘favorite’ so far.  They were enjoying a rare warm day and decided to celebrate by visiting the Gotham City Zoo before the next cold front blew through that night.
“I LOVE otters.  They’re so cute and fluffy!  But I love lions too.  They’re my favorite favorite.”  She rattled off, still pulling Marinette with her.
They had just made it to the Plexiglas enclosure for viewing the lions when they heard screaming.  Marinette automatically picked up Mar’i and held her close.  She turned toward the door and said loudly, “I wish someone would investigate and see what is going on for me,” hoping Tikki would pick up on the hint.  She then turned back to Mar’i.  “Let’s stay hidden in here until we figure out what is going on.”
They waited there for a few minutes observing people running scared and looking over their shoulders in both directions, almost like they were all running from something.  Soon, Marinette saw Tikki flying back to her.  She nodded subtly to Tikki and brushed Mar’i’s hair out of her face. “Hey, sweetie, do you see any lions or are they hiding too?”  When Mar’i turned to the enclosure, Marinette leaned away, trying to put as much space as she could between Mar’i and Tikki, without letting go of Mar’i.
Tikki flew to Marinette’s ear and whispered quietly enough for Mar’i not to hear her.  “It’s some guy wearing a black mask.  He has a bunch of henchmen working their way through the zoo.  They are working in teams to gather people.  There are two teams headed this way from opposite sides.”
“Damn it,” Marinette mumbled under her breath. “Why does everyone try to kill us?” They were in the worst part of the zoo for this.  They were in a section that had Plexiglas enclosures on either side of the walkways. There was no place to hide.  No getting off the path to hide Mar’i.  No sneaking into an enclosure to hide Mar’i. And with them approaching from both sides, there was no outrunning them.  Marinette looked around her in a panic, frantically looking for anything she could use.  She could turn into Ladybug but that was a last resort, a Mar’i-is-about-to-get-hurt-resort.  
She glanced out of the observation room and stopped.  The lemur observation room was directly across the walkway.  The rooms were really tall, to ensure that the lemurs couldn’t jump over them.  So tall, nobody could climb up there from the pathway.  So tall, nobody could see the rooves from the pathway.  “You have to fly.”  She told Mar’i suddenly.  “I need you to fly up on the lemur roof and lay on it.  Stay on the roof and away from the edges.  Do not move from the roof.  Do not stand.  Do not do anything but lay in the middle until you hear your Dad’s voice.  Do you understand me?  We’ll wait until nobody is looking.  Now, if we could just get someone to mess with the cameras on this section….”
Mar’i nodded at her, a look of fear appearing in her eyes, missing the red blur that flew to the camera pointed to their area. “It will be okay, Mar’i.  I promise you that, okay?  You lay down on the roof and stay there until you hear your Dad’s… or Tim’s… or your grandfather’s? voice.  Okay?  I need you to do it now.  Do not make any noise no matter what you hear unless it is your Dad’s or Tim’s voice okay?” Mar’i nodded again.  “Okay.  I love you, sweetie.  You’re going to be okay, okay?  I’m going to lead them away so they won’t look around here and your Daddy can come get you, okay?  And your Dad will come for you in no time.” Marinette gave her a tight hug before holding her out.  “Now go.”
Mar’i nodded and floated up to the roof.  She backed away from the edge and laid down on the roof, curled in a ball, trying not to cry.  As soon as she couldn’t see Mar’i and it looked like she was staying away from the edge, Marinette let out a breath and whispered “Good girl”.  She paused to send Dick and Kori a text message letting them know what was going on and where she was having Mar’i hide, before she chose a pathway and started running.
She didn’t get very far before she came across the first set of henchmen.  There were unconscious bodies strewn across the path behind them.  So, they weren’t taking prisoners, they were just knocking people out… or killing them and robbing them, if the outturned pockets and open purses meant anything.  
As soon as they saw her they started laughing. They didn’t expect her to continue running toward them.  She motioned to kick their legs out from under the first one.  When he bent down with a leer to grab her before she could reach him, Marinette jumped, delivering a flying kick that broke his jaw, knocking him over into the other henchman.  She then turned back in the other direction.  She needed to get the other set of henchmen away from Mar’i’s hiding spot.
She just got to the lion and lemur enclosures when she saw them.  She stopped running and discretely checked to make sure Mar’i couldn’t be seen.  She made sure they saw her before turning around and running back toward the henchmen she had just knocked down.  As she had hoped the new henchmen started running after her too, away from Mar’i.
She slowed to a stop once she reached the original henchman.  She lowered herself into a fighting position, trying to calculate if she could get past him and lead them even further away.  There was a chance, slim, but she just needed a little bit of luck to pull it off.  Luckily, she knew the embodiment of luck.
Marinette bounced from foot to foot like she was trying to come up with a plan, really she was analyzing the first henchman. When she was ready, she started running toward him.  She motioned to sweep his feet again.  As she expected, he braced himself for a high attack.  Instead, she slid between his legs.  As soon as she was on the other side of him, she started running again. She checked over her shoulder to make sure the three were following her.  When they started lagging behind, she slowed down and pretended to consider her options, even though there were none.  She didn’t want to risk them losing interest and turning back.
After a few seconds, she came to a fork in the path… and more henchmen.  It was now five to one and that one hadn’t fought, beyond playful sparring matches with Adrien, in years. She looked around for a way to escape or get past the new henchmen.  She could try the same maneuver again but… fuck it.  It worked twice, third time’s the charm right?  No, wait… that didn’t work in her favor in this instance. Three times lucky?  That worked in her favor didn’t it?  Sure, that’s what she was going with.
She ran full speed at the henchman on the left, motioning to kick his legs out from under him.  He hunched down to block her way and Marinette jumped to go over him again. Unfortunately, the henchman on the right had his partner’s back and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. Marinette kicked the head of the left henchman since she was already in a position to, knocking him out.  She used that leverage to add force to her throat punch to the right henchman.
He dropped her instantly, bringing his hands to his throat.  She hit the ground in a crouch and pushed off to start running again but instead saw a blinding light followed immediately by the blurry ground rushing up toward her. She landed roughly on her hands and knees.  She tried shaking her head to clear it, but that just made her head hurt more.  She pushed back to kneeling as one of the henchmen walked in front of her.  He swung a bat around saying something to her that she couldn’t quite make out.
Another henchman walked in front from the other side. He grinned maniacally at her and raised his foot to kick her in the face.  Marinette didn’t register his foot approaching until it was a few centimeters from her face.  She summoned the last of her strength to twist out of the way and kick up, meeting the most sensitive part she could reach with enough force that it was unlikely he would ever be able to have children.  With that energy spent, she collapsed to the ground.
She tried to brace herself for the oncoming beating, but instead heard distant grunts and the distinct sound of punches landing.  She wanted to open her eyes but her body was fighting her.  When she finally felt someone’s hand meet her, it was gentle and urgent feeling.  “Marinette! Marinette, are you okay? Marinette open your eyes! Please!”  The voice sounded pleading and familiar.
She finally opened her eyes and saw white. She scrunched her face in confusion. She tried to refocus her eyes and took in the person’s unfamiliar full face.  It was a mask she realized as she studied the face longer.  It was Red Robin kneeling over her.  She tried to look around for Nightwing.  “Dick,” she gasped out.  “Mar’i.”
“The girl you were babysitting?  We know about her. My colleague is looking for her right now.”  Red Robin assured her.
Marinette looked up at him, the world starting to settle a bit and make sense again, “Her dad?” she asked quietly.  “I told her to only come out for her dad or you or Bruce.”
Red Robin gaped at her.  “You…”
“Have a functioning brain cell?” She slurred slightly. “Yes, yes I do.  It seems a little slow right now…”  She tried to look around to see who was nearby to overhear them and relaxed slightly when she saw they were alone, police having already dragged the henchmen away.  “Well maybe I don’t or I wouldn’t have outed myself as knowing just now. But, I normally have a functioning brain.”
“And a concussion.” Red Robin commented dryly.
“Ugh, I hate concussions.  They last forever.” She clumsily tried to sit up and turn toward the direction Mar’i was hiding, squinting her eyes to see if she could see him yet.
Tim grabbed her to give her support, cradling her between his knees.  “Easy, easy. Try moving slower,” He cautioned her. “I can hear him over the coms,” Red Robin told her quietly.  “He has her and she’s safe.”  Marinette let out a quiet sigh of relief.  “A little scared but safe.”
“Thank God.” Marinette smiled closing her eyes and laying her head on his chest.
“Hey, no.  None of that.  You have to stay awake for me, okay?” Red Robin’s voice suddenly became strained. “We’re going to get you to a hospital and you can fall asleep there.”
“Liar,” she mumbled.  “They won’t let me sleep either, not for a long time.”
Red Robin chuckled lightly.  “You’re right.  But humor me and talk to me.  I like hearing your voice so it’s win/win for me.”
“I like your voice, you should talk to me and I can fall asleep to the sound.  Win/win for me.” She retorted.  
“Not if you fall into a coma.  Come on, let me see your beautiful, blue eyes.  I like looking into your eyes.” Red Robin gently begged her.
“You first,” she scoffed. She opened her eyes and shifted her eyes around them, remembering where they were.  “Ignore that.  Don’t show me right now.”
“Later, I promise.” He assured her, hugging her closer to his chest.  He gently brushed her hair out of her face.
She smiled sleepily, still struggling to keep her eyes open.  Her eyes popped open wide a few seconds later when she heard Mar’i scream her name.  Marinette blinked a few times and turned her head in her direction.  “Marinette! No, you got hurt!  Marinette!  Is this because of me?”
“No!  I’m okay, sweetie.”  She tried to smile reassuringly.  “I just… fell for Red Robin’s good looks again.” Mar’i giggled in her father’s arms.
“Hey, why are you giggling at that?” Red Robin pretended to be upset.  “That was a serious comment.”  Mar’i giggled even harder.  “That’s it, you’re grounded young lady.  Go home right now.”  Mar’i only laughed harder at that, nearly falling out of her father’s arms.
“You heard him, it’s home for you.  Or maybe we can take you to your Grandpa Alfred, huh?  Let’s go.” Nightwing said turning her away from Marinette.
“She does that a lot,” Mar’i giggled.
“Does she now?” Dick asked with an amused tone, but his eyes stayed sharp.  He gave Red Robin a concerned, questioning look, darting his eyes to Marinette.  He only continued walking away with Mar’i after Red Robin nodded to let him know he could handle talking care of Marinette by himself.
“And let’s get you to the ambulance, huh?” Tim gave her a gentle smile as he carefully picked her up to carry her to the ambulance.  
He gripped her tighter into his chest when she laid her head on his shoulder and let out a relieved sigh. “She’s safe.” She slurred sleepily. “She’ll be okay.”
“You both will be.” Tim assured her, kissing the top of her head.  “As long as you stay awake.  Maybe while you are awake you can tell me why you decided to come here without me?  I like animals, too.” He pretended to pout. “Enjoyable things to see, delicious food, did I mention the fries here are amazing?  Spectacular company...  Sounds like a perfect day.”
Marinette giggled into his shoulder then groaned at the pain the vibrations caused in her head.  “I’ll make sure to invite you next time.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” he whispered as he handed her off to the EMTs.  His fingers itched to keep holding her hand, but it would be dangerous for Red Robin to take too strong of an interest in one particular victim.  He had to settle for watching them take care of her in his peripheral vision and praying everything would be okay.  He knew, logically, that she would be, but that didn’t stop him from worrying until he could see her brilliant, radiant smile again.
     Chapter 4
          Tags:
@timari-month-event, @ichigorose @stainedglassm
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chenziee · 3 years
Text
At the bottom of the sea, chapter 1
I asked before how many Lawlu outsider POV fics are too many and then didn’t wait for an answer. Sorry, Kid, but you knew your turn would come eventually :)
Summary: Kid never would have believed there was a person crazy  enough to actually mate with Straw Hat Luffy, the biggest, most selfish  idiot on the seas. But seeing as the mating mark on said idiot's neck  was very real, Kid had only one question:Who the hell is Torao?
[READ ON AO3 or below the cut]
Part 3 of Until We Drown verse
[Part 1 | Part 2]
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When Kid had first noticed the scar on Straw Hat's neck, he had assumed it was simply yet another injury from his fight with Kaido. After all, when they had first tossed him in the cell with him, he was covered head to toe in bandages, the blood still seeping through in several places. It wouldn't have been so weird for him to have a wound or twenty still visible a week later.
But when all his other injuries disappeared only a few days later, leaving behind the one single, comparatively minor scar, Kid couldn’t stop wondering about it.
Every time the reddish patch of skin caught his attention, his eyes would linger on it, trying to figure out just why. Was it poison? Something to prevent the skin from mending fully? He’d really rather know if there was someone with a power like that among the Beast Pirates before he went back to kick Kaido’s ass. Would make recovery a real bitch.
It didn’t seem to bother Straw Hat much, if at all, however. Most of the time, he went on on his infuriating way of picking fights with Kid over the smallest things as if nothing was wrong so Kid supposed it was nothing for him to lose sleep over.
Yet, there was something that didn’t let Kid completely forget about it. Every single day in the evening, when all the prisoners were sent back to their cells and there was nothing to do, Straw Hat would inevitably end up with his hand on his neck, tracing the scar with his fingers with a complicated expression on his face. Kid would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious as hell.  
But he’d be damned if he actually asked so he simply resorted to showing slight concern over his rival's injury. Meaning, he teased Straw Hat mercilessly, riling him up as much as he could during their little competitions.
What could he say, the kid was infuriating and it wasn’t like he didn’t do the same thing to him.
Kid couldn’t wait for the day Kaido was out of the way, so he would be able to fucking show Straw Hat who was stonger, faster, better, and teach him and everyone else that a missing arm was nothing; not with Kid’s power and his crew by his side. But currently, the Emperor was the thing on the very top of Kid’s shit list so Straw Hat was safe. For now.
Unless his stupid charity would get him before Kid could. That would be a damn shame.
Kid rolled his eyes as he watched Straw Hat give a bunch of his meal tickets to the tiny, withered old man again. Seriously, what was Straw Hat’s deal? Did he not get the memo that pirates did not do charity? It was kill or be killed, in labour camps especially.
But Straw Hat didn’t seem to care how much of a joke he was as a pirate. And obviously, neither did the old man.
“Thank you once again, Straw Hat man,” the old man said, accepting the tickets gratefully.
Straw Hat grinned. “Don’t worry about it, gramps. I’ll get lots more.” As if to prove his point, Straw Hat flexed his arm, causing Kid to roll his eyes once more.
But not before taking note of how many tickets Straw Hat had in his hands and how many he gave to the old man, and comparing them to the amount he himself had amassed during the day. Kid smirked. He was pretty confident he won. Just as he did every day.
"Are they okay?" the old man asked then, voice full of concern.
"What?" Straw Hat sounded painfully confused as he replied.
The old man huffed, gesturing to where Straw Hat was once more absent-mindedly massaging his neck. "Your mate. You keep touching your mark. Are they okay?"
Kid did a double take.
Straw Hat. A mate. Straw Hat had a mate. That was what the weird scar on his neck was.
He mentally berated himself for not realizing sooner but honestly, who would ever look at Straw Hat and think, ‘Oh yeah, he's mated.’ No one sane, that's for damn sure.
"Oh," Straw Hat uttered simply before going silent for a moment again. But then his face split in that idiotic, bright grin again. "It’s just itchy. It’s fine, Torao’s strong.”
The old man didn’t look convinced but it was obvious he didn’t want to push it either. It took only a second for him to sigh, shake his head, and change the subject. Probably because he knew that even if there was something wrong with this ‘Torao,’ there was nothing Straw Hat—or anyone else in this goddamned prisoner mine—could do about it.
If Kid cared about his problems at all, he’d say it was a good thing Straw Hat was such an air headed moron. If he had any more brain cells in that head of his, he’d probably go crazy in here, literally climbing walls, trying to get to his mate. This blind trust he seemed to have in people was saving him a lot of energy—while sadly robbing Kid of entertainment. It would have been pretty damn funny watch, whether it be Straw Hat losing his mind, or the guards losing their minds over Straw Hat going on a rampage but oh well.
He’d have to make do with their little fights.
Kid did have to wonder what kind of person this Torao was, however. He didn't recall anyone called that on Straw Hat’s crew, nor did he know of anyone else by that name. Kid wanted to meet them, see what kind of person was stupid enough to bond with Straw Hat of all people; willing to deal with his insufferable idiocy and selfishness for the rest of their lives. At the very least, he'd have liked to give them his condolences.
He was… intrigued by this development. But he wasn't desperate enough for answers to actively eavesdrop, and definitely not enough to ask.  
He'd rather stay locked in this damned labour camp than do that.
But seriously, he had better things to worry about—his escape for one, then it was looking for Killer and the rest of his crew. Then it was off to beat up Kaido.
And if he knew anything about Straw Hat, he wasn't about to stick around the mine much longer either. Then he'd pick up his cozy little alliance with Trafalgar Law of all people and go after Kaido, same as Kid. So, if this mate of his was in Wano, Kid was sure it was only a matter of time before he met them for himself.
Kid hoped they wouldn’t cry once he had Straw Hat beaten. He hated it when people cried. It was so very annoying.
No, Killer, it wasn’t because seeing people cry made him want to cry, too.
Shaking his head to rid himself of the image of Killer giving him his best unimpressed look, Kid got up from the dusty ground, shooting one last glance at Straw Hat before he walked away. Having a mate didn’t matter in the end at all. What mattered was strength, power, loyalty, and only trusting the people closest to you.
Everyone else could get fucked. Especially your ‘allies.’ He was sure Straw Hat would learn that the hard way with Trafalgar, just as Kid had with Hawkins and fucking Scratchmen. Straw Hat could only hope that mistake didn’t cost him his mate, the most obvious weak spot.
Kid, for one, was done risking his partner. Done with alliances.
----------
That was what he had thought at least but of course Killer had to be the voice of reason and insist that if they were to go against Kaido, they'd better wait to join in the large-scale raid the Straw Hats had planned. Or that Trafalgar had planned, more likely. It was stupid and Kid din't want to get involved in anything where those two played a part but he could never win against his first mate and Killer knew it. Asshole.
"So you showed up after all, Jaggy?!" Straw Hat called, sounding way too happy and excited considering the situation.
"Like I'd let you have the glory for taking down Kaido!" Kid shouted back, clicking his tongue in distaste at the very notion.
Just then, someone from the Straw Hat ship spoke up, tone a mix of relief and exasperation, "Luffy, look, Torao's here! You can stop fidgeting now!"
At that, Straw Hat whipped around, making a full circle and looking like an idiot as he searched for something through the heavy storm. The 'Torao', most likely. The mate.
Kid had nearly forgotten about that. But now that the person was there themselves, his previous curiosity came back. Instead of focusing on the enemy ships ahead, he continued watching his fellow captain as he took off to run to the other end of the ship, no doubt to get a better view of the sea in the back. Kid winced when after only a two steps, Roronoa grabbed Straw Hat's collar, making the rubber man's head jerk forward from the momentum, going further from his shoulders than should be humanly possible.
Seriously, Straw Hat and his weird powers.
Shaking his head, Kid focused back on where Roronoa was dragging his own captain towards the side of the ship, pointing him towards something below, in the water. Kid's eyes inadvertently followed in the direction as well until they found Trafalgar's submarine with the pathetic samurai boat perched on top. Was this Torao one of the samurai? Would explain why Kid had never heard of them.
"TORAO! HI!" Straw Hat screamed immediately, waving his hands widely to get the person's attention.
The crashing waves and heavy rain were his only response but Straw Hat didn't seem dettered in the least. Instead, his screaming continued, "Where were you?! I was looking for you but your friends refused to say!"
"Focus on the mission, Straw Hat-ya!" Trafalgar finally snapped with annoyance.
Probably not what or whom Straw Hat wanted to hear but on the other hand, Kid was glad Trafgar hadn't gone completely crazy yet. Even though Kid had to admit he didn't have much room to talk with picking allies, he had his doubts about Trafalgar’s sanity from the moment he heard he had allied with Straw Hat of all people.
Not to mention how long the two had been working together at this point. If Trafalgar wasn't insane before, he had to be by now by association alone. But it was comforting to know he still had it in himself to rein the biggest idiot on the entire Grand Line in.
“Also I’d hate to rub salt in the wound, but today’s banquet will celebrate the official alliance between the Beast Pirates and the Big Mom Pirates!” At the taunting remark from one of the Beast pirates, Kid whipped around, immediately forgetting about Trafalgar, Straw Hat, and the mystery mate.
“Big Mom and Kaido?!!” You’ve got to be kidding. Just one of them was bad enough, an alliance between two Emperors just as they were getting ready to attack was nothing but bad news. Not like it would change the result, Kid was going to beat them both regardless, but it was complicating matters considerably.
“In the name of Emperor Kaido, get this over with and sink them!”
Kid rolled his eyes at how confident these small fries were just because they had Kaido and Big Mom backing them up. As if they would save them from getting beaten up from all the way over at Onigashima.
Raising his fists, flesh and metal, he aimed at the enemy ship, readying himself to haul himself over to show his idiot ‘allies’ how it’s done.
“Why are these underlings getting so cocky!! They’re looking down on us, stand back!!!”
“Idiot, you’re the one who should stand back!!”
Oh no, you don’t, Kid thought. “Don’t get in my way!!!”
----------
“Torao! That power's cheating!”
“Oh, Torao, where did you go?”
“Torao, move the samurai below!”
“Torao, did you guys beat Big Mom?!”
“To-ra-ooo!!”
Remembering all the times that Straw Hat had called his ‘Torao’ over the course of the night, Kid was almost embarrassed that it took him until now to connect the dots. In his defense, it was the heat of the battle and there were a lot bigger things to worry about than Straw Hat and Torao’s love life and honestly, Kid didn’t even really care in the first place. But he would have certainly appreciated a heads up before this.  
Upon hearing that Straw Hat was finally awake after passing out from exhaustion, Killer had insisted that checking up on him was the least Kid should do. So, despite his better judgement, Kid had complied and really, this might have had just been the worst advice his first mate had ever given him and that was including the stupid alliance with Hawkins and Apoo.
As he stared with wide eyes at the scene before him, he suddenly understood why all the idiot friends of Straw Hat’s were scrambling off as if running from something, even going as far as dragging a protesting, confused son of Kaido away by force. Seriously, if Kid wasn’t rooted in place as he was, he, too, would have been running from the smell of possessive pheromones and the loopy, content grin on Straw Hat’s face while Trafalgar fucking Law had his face burried in the crook of his neck, his teeth sinking deep into the flesh where Straw Hat’s mating mark was.
Honestly, Kid would rather walk in on them fucking than… this.  
“It’s okay, Torao. I’m fine,” Straw Hat said quietly, raising one shaky hand to weakly run his fingers through Trafalgar’s hair.
“When will you stop being so damn reckless? I swear one day I’ll kill you myself,” Trafalgar growled back after a moment, once he finally released his bite.
Straw Hat snickered. “Eh, better you than stupid Kaido.”
Trafalgar groaned in response, frustration with his mate obvious even while his head was still resting against Straw Hat’s shoulder. “Fuck you.”
“No thanks,” Straw Hat laughed, making Trafalgar click his tongue in annoyance.
“You know what I mean,” he snapped, making Straw Hat only laugh harder.
Kid wasn’t entirely sure what this last exchange meant but he sure as hell didn’t need or care to know. Finally breaking himself out of his stupor, he quickly slammed the sliding doors shut once more, then turned on his heel to leave as fast as he could.
As he stormed away, a few last words carried over to him from Straw Hat’s room.
“Jaggy just left,” Straw Hat noted off-handedly.
Trafalgar sighed in response. “Fucking finally.”
Assholes.  
Kid all but ran outside then, heading straight for the nearest drinks table and grabbing for the first bottle of hard liquor he could find. He could only hope that would be enough to bleach his entire brain.
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just2bubbly · 3 years
Text
Kidnapped?
Masterlist
Summary
"Goodness, where are we?"
"How am I suppose to know?"
"It's your palace. You live here, not to mention you have a computer in your brain to figure out. Any more reasons?"
What happens when you get kidnapped in your own palace? Bizarre!
More bizarre if you happen to know the kidnapper.
Ship: Kaider
Words: 2.8k
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Tumblr media
Cinder's Perspective-
"Goodness, where are we?" Kai questioned, his voice a bit higher than usual showing his panic.
"How am I suppose to know?" she retorted, her eyes trying to adjust to the pitch-black darkness around her.
"It's your palace. You live here, not to mention you have a computer in your brain to figure out. Any more reasons?" he cited.
"Yeah," she said dryly. 'Why did being near Kai rob her of her senses?!' her mind seemed to ask herself.
"I don't know," she stated after having done her best at trying to locate their position.
"What?"
"I have no idea where we are!- This place is off the records," she said explaining their situation.
"Are we kidnapped?" he proposed.
"Why would someone do that?"
"We are very important people. You are the Queen of Luna. I am the Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth. The question is why would they not?" he said, matter-of-factly.
"We have been at peace for over a year with Earth. The Lunars have taken a liking to the new way of life. I don't think they would kidnap us," she tried to argue- nonetheless, her mind convinced her to believe that they were kidnapped.
What better reason to come up with other than kidnapping when one finds themselves in a dark chamber?!
"Then we are trapped," he suggested as she had discarded his previous sensible idea of being kidnapped.
"Probably" She stayed silent unable to think about any sane reason to be stuck in a dark room.
"We are stuck," he announced to which she nodded for having nothing else to say.
"Are you sure this place wherever that is- is in the Palace?"
"I guess so- minutes ago we were walking near The Throne Room. We have to be in the Palace, unless-"
"Unless we were knocked out and don't remember anything about it," Kai completed.
"I don't think we were knocked out," she commented.
"And why would that be?"
"My brain did not signify anything about 'System Reboot'- besides I don't think anyone of us remembers about waking up!" she explained her line of reasoning.
"Uh- okay!"
"Do you have your device?" she inquired, her brain seemed to have dawned upon the bright idea of contacting one of her friends.
"No, it's my room- I left it behind. What about yours?"
"Iko wanted it for something," she said, losing hope of seeking any sort of help.
"Do you think we are kept as hostages?" she speculated aloud.
"I am not sure. The last time I was kidnapped it made more sense," he said, using sarcasm at a time where it was least expected.
"Yeah and I was the kidnapper," she said dryly.
As her survival instinct kicked in, she examined the room and it did not look like it was a prison cell. It had no way to escape, neither a window nor a door. She wondered how they had ever entered it.
Kai sighed and sat, his back against the wall- pulling the black-tie that he was wearing loose and opening the collar button of his dress shirt.
"What are you doing?" she questioned, trying to keep her voice distinct.
"Making myself comfortable. I barely have the energy to remain standing for another minute," he confessed, as he rubbed the sole of his palm into his eyes.
"Are you okay?" she queried, suddenly very conscious about checking his health.
"I don't know, I'm tired and haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. Moreover, this dark room is not really helping my case!" he conceded.
She thought of how she had not noticed his fatigue since he had landed on Luna. He really did his best at hiding his weariness from the onlooker.
"Are you going to stand there all this time?" he demanded, making her come sit beside him. They sat in silence not sure about where to start the conversation from. However, the silence felt comfortable, almost serene if not for their setting.
"I feel like we are trapped here," he proclaimed after what felt like a sufficient amount of time had been spent in silence.
"Thank you for the observation Kai, I thought we were having a party here," she added, her every word strong with sarcasm
"Oh really!" he exclaimed with fake disbelief. They stared at each other challengingly- none of them ready to back down until they recalled their scenario. Kai looked away making sure to groan in frustration. Always the responsible one.
"I mean- I don't think we are kidnapped or taken hostages-"
"Enlighten me then why we are here?" she snorted failing to understand him.
He glared but elaborated, "I guess we lost our way and are just trapped in some room which happens to be off records."
"Why do you think that?"
"Well, why would they kidnap two people madly in love with each other?"
"What does loving each other have anything to do with kidnapping?" she asked incredulously.
"Come on Cinder if you were kidnapped won't I be drastic to find you and vice versa- we are stuck together-"
"Kai, although I appreciate the gesture of you being desperate to find me in case I was kidnapped, you have watched too many romcoms and sitcoms. Whatever your line of reasoning is, it suits some drama better than the condition we are caught in." she tried her best to explain this to him without trying to chuckle at his dorkiness.
"Besides, how do you even get time to watch dramas?" she asked, trying to figure out how Kai had free time when she seemed to be drowning in paperwork all the time.
"I have a day off just to watch romcoms," he said with so much conviction she believed him there.
"Really? You are allowed such privileges?" Now he really had her attention- an entire day off! Cinder had had to work on Christmas as well.
"No just kidding," he interrupted before she could ask any more questions. She looked at him shocked and muttered something under her breath that made his lips quirk up.
"Kai, besides there are other people to be worried about you. I hope they don't think the Emperor of Eastern Commonwealth got kidnapped on Luna."
"Cinder, they won't think Lunars kidnapped me or you for that matters," he said trying to assure her.
"You never know! The look that Prime Minister Bromstad was shooting my way, makes me believe he wanted something like this to happen to question my moralities!" She huffed in frustration as she failed to keep her nerves in check.
"Do you think they would have started searching for us?"
"They better be- Thorne would definitely notice me when he does not find someone to annoy," She joked trying to calm herself down while trying to think about good reasons to explain this situation.  Apparently, 'lost in my own palace' was not the best option she had.
She thought about how she was going to justify her and Kai's absence in today's meeting- but that was really not the worse part. The graver part of their absence would be the murmurs that would go around among the world leaders as she and Kai would enter the conference hall-provided if they ever left this forsaken place. Not to mention the rumours that would question her among her own court, once all the leaders would return back.
Words stopped coming out of her lips unable to keep the conversation going, as her mind tried to grasp the after-effects of this activity.
They had been together under the same roof after a year and all they had to said to each other were formal pleasantries. They had been in the presence of each other for the last 9 hours 27 minutes (let's not address the seconds) and their words had have been nothing but distant. Seldom they went about their duties using satire to converse better except it felt a bit too awkward to be normal and considered casual.
Although Cinder had talked with him on comms numerous times, meeting him in person after a year felt different!
Whoever said long-distance was hard-was very very correct!
Cinder had run so many scenarios of her greeting Kai for over a week- thinking about all that she would have to say in the limited period of 3 days. Alas, reality had been very disturbing. She had very stupidly stumbled over her words in an undignified manner over the sight of him. Thank goodness and all the stars for she had not blurted something more idiotic unfit for the Queen of Luna. When their gazes had met, she was going crazy by just thinking about him and now as if fate was rewarding her for her own stupidity-she had no idea what to say to him stuck in a room alone. Uh!
"I missed you," he blurted out of the blue. It was so unexpected, she contemplated if he had said that just to fill the infinite void of silence between them.
"You missed me?" she challenged, knowing very well that it was not the best thing to say. The appropriate answer would be ' I missed you too." Cinder was never the one to be following rules- hell, she had worn trousers suited with a dress shirt to her own birthday party instead of the classical ball gown she was supposed to.
Even if she would not admit it loudly, she felt happy hearing those words -never having the joy of hearing them from anyone else.
It was the first time someone had said those very said those words aloud to her. Iko never had a chance to miss her as she was constantly with her. She had known Kai and the others for over a year only throughout which the idea of rebellion and their unforeseen, sudden deaths was constantly looming over them -so words of missing each other had never been vocal.
She had a chance of saying 'Miss you' to Peony uncountable times but even then that had never happened. Cinder had never gone very far away to be missed by anyone. Until now.
He nodded and she cursed the darkness wondering if Kai's ears had turned pink.
"Is that so hard to believe?" he asked, failing to keep the concern out of his voice.
"No," she muttered and softly added, "I missed you. Beyond your wits and imagination-"
Unsure if had heard it or not but as she felt him take her hand and move closer to her ear she knew he had heard her. His lips were at her ears and the sudden contact made her shiver in excitement.
"I can imagine- you know having experience with- missing your aunt and all. "
She knew it without being able to see that he was smirking- without caring about how rushed, reckless and rash her actions were - her lips were on his and as if he had anticipated such a response out of her, he was kissing her back without a moment to lose. It felt good to have him near her- just moving her hand through his dark black hair while he held onto her other hand- her cybernetic one. It was not much of symbolism but she felt assured that he wanted her- whole- with her cybernetics, just like she wanted him. It had been mere seconds since their lips but she was already out of breath. Her lungs were burning from the want of oxygen just like her heart that had gone warm with desire.
She moved back to breathe yet she was just millimetres away from him- their foreheads touching. Their eyes locked and the next second they were doubling over with laughter-vibrant and clear.
The kiss was brief yet sweet filled with assurance and hope but it felt like it had broken all spells of awkwardness between the two. This moment was so full of love and happiness, that she wanted to bottle it up and drink from it again and again once Kai would be gone. Her worries were forgotten for a while, as she took in his lean frame, his long hair that fell over the copper-brown eyes that looked like they were looking through her soul as if she was some sort of art.
"I missed you," she whispered in the crook of his neck meaning each word.
"Me too!"
She inhaled his scent- closing her eyes as she took in the exhilarating smell of cedar and sharp mint.
"Cinder?"
"Kai," she whispered back.
"Look," he told.
'Hmmm"
"We are no longer inside the room"
"What?" she said her eyes opening to look around- it was true. She was not in some dark room, she was a few feet away from the Throne Room.
She whirled around not trusting her eyes, "How is this even possible? We were trapped just now and now-"
"You don't sound so happy?"
"What?! I am obviously happy but-"
" Is being trapped with me so bad?"
"Kai! No-"
Realizing he was just playing around with her she huffed and glared at him while he settled for a grin. He was going to be the end of her!
"Kai, Be serious! " she ordered her voice commanding. However, her eyes held no anger only bewilderment.
__
"Oh yeah- I completely forgot. I got caught, more like trapped somewhere near the left of the Throne room. Can you figure it out for me? The place is like some sort of magical room it appeared out of nowhere and it was gone."
"Hmm..sounds interesting!" Iko mumbled, her face full of concentration as her slender fingers tapped on her chin as if thinking deeply.
"Were you alone?" she inquired.
"Ac-actually there was someone else with me." She was not sure if she wanted to share details of her time in a dark room with Iko but convincing herself she admitted, "Well, I was stuck inside with Kai."
As if this piece of information was very vital, her eyes sparkled as they changed their colour to bright, joyous, warm yellow.
"A private place- no disturbance," she said pointedly.
"What?"Cinder asked confused over her remark of 'private place'. The smirk on Iko's pretty face made Cinder suspicious and then it clicked together- like a painting kept inside water becomes clearly visible once the water goes still.
"Uh! Sorry, I was just thinking about a few things-" he said, his eyes glossed up with emotion much similar to wistfulness.
"Are you feeling nostalgic Emperor Kaito?" she proposed, not quite sure about what Kai was remembering.
"Probably yes," he admitted his head turned to look at her among the company of her friends.
"You have memories attached to this place. I can only imagine the young Emperor grieving over the loss of his first wife. I hope your heart has found peace without my aunt around."
"It has been a hard year but I have found solace without dear Levana," he said with such a grieved tone that it was almost convincing if not for his eyes that were twinkling with humour and mirth.
"Let's hope you have a good time in my abode, Emperor."
"That I would surely have," he said with a smirk playing along his very pretty and tempting lips which was followed by a wink.
"I guess we have had enough flirting for the evening. Now if you two would move-"
"Captain why would you disturb them? They look so adorable together" Iko squealed casting a look of love towards her.
"Aces, If they had continued I would have thrown up," Thorne complained earning a glare from everyone around him especially Cinder who was on the verge of strangling him for having disturbed their moment.
"Thorne, they are not being adorable now that you have disturbed them," Iko whined to an amused and proud looking Thorne.
Forgetting the two who had very unapologetically interrupted their exchange, Cinder whispered, "Next time somewhere bit private, unlike my throne room. How about that Emperor?"
He cocked his head and agreed, taking a pause as if pretending to think about it, "Your wish is my command, My Queen."
It made complete sense- the room appearing and disappearing while her schedule was clear, with no one but them on the floor while they were trapped. Later, she was secured after quality time spent with Kai. It was obviously Iko, she should have known.
"Iko," she yelled as her friend slipped away from her chambers.
"You asked for it," she shouted back.
And like perfect timing Kai, walked along. She supposed that this was part of Iko's plan as well.
"What did you ask for?" he asked, coming to stand beside her while she rested her head on his shoulder.
"That room- it was Iko all along!" she offered.
"Apparently it was not just Iko- it was Iko AND Thorne."
Her friend was going to get a hell lot of yelling later but right now Cinder was thankful for what she had done.
___
A/N: Okay, the entire book series has the phrase 'Miss You' said only 4 times. I drift a bit away from canon in this part of the fic because Cinder did say 'miss you' to Peony while she was in quarantine and to Kai while he was leaving for Earth after the revolution. Even he had said those very words to her before Thorne dropped him off to New Beijing.  I just choose to avoid those moments, probably because those words did not carry much meaning in the heat of the revolution. I believe Cinder feels guilty for never having expressed her thoughts of fondness for Peony in the pandemic- type of society that they lived in, where life was not exactly what I would call guaranteed.
And well Angie aka @gingerale2017 - Thank You for the request. I know I took  too much time to revert back to it (I think approximately 4 months) but I did not really find a nice plot until now and I have made a few changes just to align with my ideas- so if you were expecting something different... I'm sorry! It felt wonderful writing this! :)
Thank you again! <33
Be sure to reblog or comment if you like it!
I do take prompts for TLC (ship- Kaider), so if you want to you can hit me up with them!
Taglist: @cinderswrench @gingerale2017 @linhcinder686 @shellyseashell @ladyvesuvia (Tell me if you wanna be added/removed)
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morgwing meet-up messy drabble
My year-long-fic-break has been slightly broken, but don’t expect too much. I had enough brain juice in me to write this 3 page silliness.
Still riding the high from @queenie-draws-stuff ‘s rad Morgana redesign, I decided to write a potential “how they met” deal, combining the original Fungus Amongus quotes/situation with Queenie’s Goth Rock set-up.
Additional notes now I think of them before jumping right to what is basically “mel enjoys writing simps”
The Band uses a We Will Rock You style song (been listening to this cover) to hypnotize her fans into attacking Darkwing and the gang.
Halestorm’s cover of Bad Romance is definitely suitable for attacking and flirting with Darkwing at the same time.
At one point, Darkwing gets her guitar away from her and he’s confident “Ahaha! Now that I’ve taken away your magic, you’re helpless!” And Morgana smiles... then bursts into cackles. “Oh, Dark Darling... my guitar isn’t the source of my power. It’s merely a conduit.” (”a... a what”) “In other words...” her hands and eyes glow. “It’s time for the encore, baby.”
OKAY TIME FOR THE SHORT WRITTEN THING ITSELF
In hindsight, this wasn’t the best plan, but in his defense, it worked all the time on a TV show he’d watched as a child. Darkwing paused to think about that train of logic, and pondered if perhaps he should stop trying to plan his investigations that way and instead follow his own instincts next time.
 “OWWWWW BONES DO NOT BEND THAT WAY!”
 If there was a next time. He had assumed the whole goth rock mutant monster image was just that, an image. The guy with two heads, the girl with one eye, the behemoth of a drummer? All of it was just costumes and acting! So when announced his presence in his typical overly dramatic fashion, he assumed they would cower in fear before offering their assistance. Instead, they had jumped him and were now holding his arms behind his back and threatening to tie his limbs into knots. As he continued to squirm in place, he once more tried to plead his innocence.
 “I’m here to HELP!” He cried out, nervously noticing the two-headed terror cracking his knuckles while the one-eyed wonder was pulling out various sharp instruments from her purse, and they definitely weren’t the musical kind. “I was just looking for clues! You know those robberies that have been happening around here, right?! There’s a connection between them and your band!”
 “And now we’re about to disconnect your head from your neck!” Said the left head, and the right headed nodded vigorously.
 Darkwing winced, as the others advanced on him, the grip on his arms tightening. If this was his last day on earth, he really wished his last words to Gosalyn hadn’t been “Remember to run the dishwasher after homework.” He closed his eyes, his brain struggling to think of how to get him out of this sticky situation…
 “HEY!” A sharp - yet familiar – voice broke through the scene. “What’s going on here?! We do not treat our fans this way! Put him down!”
 It took less than a second for Darkwing to recognize the voice – this was the singer of the band, after all. When Gosalyn had showed him the link to her new favorite indie band, Darkwing had taken a compulsory listen without paying attention to the visuals, as he was busy trying to pin down the strange case of robberies where the victims couldn’t remember being robbed at all. The singer was definitely talented, a strong but sultry voice that Darkwing certainly wouldn’t have minded listening to on a loop. But it’d been also terribly distracting, so he hadn’t tried to give the music video any attention. Once again, this proved to have been not the best idea in hindsight.
 Because then he would have prepared for the absolute bombshell that walked through the curtains.
 Darkwing opened one eye to see his savior, and then both eyes were not only open, but they were also quite wide in shock. The woman in question was a leggy stunner, her black and white hair parted over one side and trailing down her eerily pale feathers like a shadowy walk lit by moonlit. Sharp green eyes pierced right through his heart, analyzing him as he stood there in a slack-jawed stupor. She adjusted her blood-red guitar over her back, the crimson and black spider-web outfit giving him the feeling he’d be the fly that eagerly walked into this parlor any day. She rested one hand on her hip, and snapped her fingers – even her nails were unique – long, sharp, yellow, and deadly.
 Darkwing had no more time to realize he had a type and she was it when he was let go and dropped to the floor. As he scrambled to get up and dust himself off, the one-eyed woman huffed. “We caught this weirdo sneaking around here, Morgana.”
 Morgana held up a hand, signaling for silence. “I got this, Cornea.” She looked Darkwing up and down once more before smiling in amusement. “I believe this is where you introduce yourself.” She offered her hand to shake. “Nice to meet you, mister…?”
 “D-Dingwing Dork.”  Darkwing sputtered, his palm feeling incredibly sweaty in her delicate hand. He was quick to realize his mistake, yelped, and fumbled with his hands and hat as he tried to make his brain calm down. “DARK! Darkwing Duck! Dark-Darkwing Duck.” After a hard throat clear, he tried to pretend he hadn’t made an absolute fool of himself several times, tipping his hat politely, doing a gentlemanly bow, and ignoring the various eyerolls of the other band-mates. “At your service.”
 “What an unusual name,” Morgana commented, lightly tilting his beak up with one of her fingers, closing the gap between them for a few but very, very personal seconds. “But then you appear to be very unusual… I like that.” When she pulled away, it was a sheer miracle Darkwing didn’t fall forward, though he certainly leaned in enough to make it a close call. “We were just wrapping up rehearsal. We want to close up shop early, what with all those midnight robberies going on.”
 Darkwing stopped for a second, befuddled. “Hang on. How did you know they were midnight robberies?” He was fairly certain that was something the press hadn’t leaked, and he’d only just figured out the timeline a day before.
 Morgana froze in place – eyes quickly shooting to her fellow players – before rolling her shoulders, readjusting her guitar so that it slid back into her arms. “I… deduced it.”
 Maybe if Launchpad and Gosalyn were there – the former to ask more questions, the latter to smack some sense into him – Darkwing would have taken greater notice of that lengthy pause. Instead? She deduced it, he thought, his heart doing cartwheels. My kinda woman. Despite his clear problematic infatuation, his brain did have enough cells left to ask another important question. “Isn’t it kind of… peculiar… to hold a rehearsal this late?”
 Morgana plucked a few notes off her guitar, walking back onto the front of the stage, the curtains now perfectly parted to show the moon shining down from the ceiling – the venue, such as it was, had certainly seen better days. But now the various holes above seemed to be an improvement rather than something that needed fixing. “I enjoy the night,” she answered, and then playfully added, “Besides, the sun is so harsh on my skin.”
 “You know…” Darkwing casually strolled up to Morgana’s side, his previous predicament forgotten already, “I’m something of a creature of the night myself.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
 Morgana chuckled quietly. “I bet we have a lot in common, Darkwing. In fact…” She lightly nudged the guitar’s neck into Darkwing’s actual neck, enjoying the audible tiny ‘eep’ his flustered mouth made. “I bet we could make beautiful music together.”
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secondhoekage · 4 years
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Ignore this long rant I’m high as shit but I... can’t take the hero commission oR HONESTLY THE HEROES THEMSELVES, seriously anymore
They’re BRAINLESS they all share one (1) brain cell and it belonged to Crust. THESE GUYS had MONTHS to strategize this attack and what did they do? They fucked it up. They want me to believe this was planned and not written on a chalk board the night before? Sent out to all heroes the next morning at 8am in a CHAIN EMAIL?
Unpopular opinion(?): they sent the worst possible, ill-suited heroes to each location for this PLF raid and I’m mad at them for it and I’m mad at Hori for making me be mad at it even tho he had to do it beCauSe oF pLot but I’m mad.
The MLA’s plans to take on The League of Villains? Spotless. Chef’s kiss. The detail. The one-on-one counters they planned out. Accounting for each enemy’s quirk. Yeah there were like 6 of them to account for but?? Heroes, yall had enough info and enough time to think of ways to go about this raid and I’m supposed to believe that you did, BUT DID YOU REALLY? MONTHS TO PLAN, and saw one electric Sir Crocodile rip-off and immediately threw Kaminari on his ass. Good move. Kinda. But the rest of the PLF? Heroes just gonna make shit up as they go I guess?? 
To make myself feel better here’s a long ass useless rant on what could’ve damn happened and which heroes should’ve gone where and to make this an epic ass rumble. ugh. Even just doing some of these things would’ve made this arc (imo) feel more... convincing and delicious
under the cut tho bc damn this is too long
In this essay I will—
Edgeshot??? EDGESHOT??    EDGESHOT?? i’M GOING TO GO OFF. 
I swear to shit Edgeshot could’ve soloed the hospital but they had him at the PLF mansion for Some Reason like... like they didn’t make him run up on the League’s bar instead of the Nomu factory bc they knew he would take care of shit immediately. Make it make sense. If he was at the hospital eye just—Nomu in the way?? Doctor running off? Say less. Electric slide all the way in there Shinya. DID NO ONE SEE HOW EASILY HE HANDLED KUROGIRI? Did everyone just forget this man can pull a K.O in .3 seconds flat? Heroes didn’t think it might be a good idea to have him there, ready to give Shigaraki the paper cut of his life the second he woke up (if he even did bc my mans likely could’ve prevented the ‘doctor getting away>high-end awaken>rush to get shiggy out of the tank>shiggy wakes up’ chain of events)? Didn’t think to send him instead of this guy X Less just sitting there with That Look on his face? 
I get they needed heroes like Edgeshot at the mansion to take out a handful of enemies in one go but COME ON NOW. There were more than enough long-range AOE heroes there. And even if you don’t wanna believe he could solo then STILL, EDGESHOT DUOING WITH MIRUKO, ANYBODY? If anyone was gonna keep up with her happy ass zooming into the lab it could’ve been him. We were robbed of an Edgeshot/Miruko teamup and I’m not okay. Could’ve had a sexy ass panel of the hospital-team hyping up Miruko and Edgeshot as they dashed to Ujiko’s lab, two fast as shit bad bitches, zooming through these Nomu, absolutely obliterating them at lightning speed, watching each other’s backs too, PROBABLY SAVING MIRUKO FROM BECOMING THE PRE-DEATH ORGAN DONOR THAT SHE IS NOW. I know it was hot watching Miruko take on these high-ends but I’d have rather Edgeshot share the spotlight if it meant Miruko was in one piece rn. Hori played her
Anyways the literal dumb bitch energy that went into not sending Edgeshot to the hospital is sending me. Could’ve at least let him just be on the team and on standby while Shigaraki was waking up. With those sharp as shit reflexes of his we’ve seen? Shigaraki would’ve been out like a fucking light the second Edgeshot saw him sit up. X-Less you had a nice thicc upper lip that lip was too shaded for you to die, but F in the chat bitch. Useless plot fodder I’m sorry X-Less. There isn’t a hero there right now (besides Aizawa but like... idk, plot is nerfing him) that could’ve incapacitated Shiggy so quickly and prevented the mess they’re in now like my guy Edgeshot could’ve. Feels like a cop out
In conclusion: Edgeshot sweety I’m sorry they did this. I’m sorry you were nerfed. I’m sorry they didn’t let you deliver Kamino Pizza to this hospital. I’m sorry they ignored you and now everyone’s gonna die bc they didn’t they respect your Ninpo rights
CEMENTOSS??? y’all sent him to fuck up the mansion FOR WHAT??? If I were the hero commission and thought :
“Dang we need to completely ass blast this huge PLF resort to make room for our heroes to run in... but it would also be good if we had someone to do that at the hospital too just in case things get tricky and we need to pave a quick way to Ujiko’s secret hideout... but I’m single-celled and can’t weigh my options logically so ok. Cementoss, to the mansion.”
...................... Ok but can I in interest you in PIXIE BOB? I get the mansion is huge but going by the shit we’ve seen her do?? I’m not about to underestimate ol’ girl. I know she could’ve fucked that place up if they let her, switched her out for Cementoss, who could’ve made THE EASIEST route for the hospital team to get into the secret lab, trapped Ujiko, also trapped a couple nomu/high-ends in cement while he was at it, rearranged some tunnels for optimal tactical movement, probably could’ve done a decent-fucking-job at slowing the onslaught of Decay too if it got to that point (AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BC THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS RANT IS TO INSIST THAT A BETTER SELECTION OF HEROES WOULDN’T HAVE RESULTED IN SHIGGY’S CURRENT THANOS SNAP ORdEAL)
I know Pixie’s mostly on rescue operations and that’s what she’s doing at the hospital/surrounding city but WHY?? EVEN IF THEY REALLY NEEDED CEMENTOSS AT THE MANSION—WHY NOT HAVE PIXIE BOB DOING SOMETHING IN THE ACTUAL HOSPITAL BATTLE? JUST A LITTLE? The hospital is built on uh.. oh yeah... EARTH? And considering in the Forest Training arc she was using her quirk from a remote location (to make that Earth golem, or whatever) she wouldn’t even HAVE to be IN Ujiko’s lab to be useful
Can y’all PLEASE put at least ONE of your terraforming heroes at the place where y’all REALLY need them?? And not after-the-fact like y’all just did with Pixie Bob? Because clearly she didn’t do shit this last chapter trying to stop Decay. I’m sorry girl. You may be dead. Terrible.
I would have legitimately sent Snipe to get Ujiko before I sent Miruko and that’s that on that. Where is he even? He was there during the briefing but he’s gone? MIA? Idk. No way Ujiko is getting away from those bullets. Target locked: Ujiko’s hand. Fire. High-end Nomu remote goes bye bye. Then another bullet in the leg. No need to worry about him escaping and waking up high-ends/Shiggy when he doesn’t have kneecaps. Problem solved. No way it would’ve taken that long to break Shiggy’s tank either with a few well-placed pew pews zigging around some Nomu (not that we really wanna break him outta his tank bc look what happened). Snipe’s 6/5 technique stat deserves better!!!!!
Gang Orca did not go off and give a bunch of kids brain damage during the License arc to be so thoroughly ignored here. He’s clearly about to get his shit rocked by some gauged-out ex-Hot Topic employee in the next few chapters and ugh you’re TOO GOOD FOR THAT ORCA. COULD’VE BEEN OF USE AT THE HOSPITAL. PARALYZING SONIC WAVES? WE’LL TAKE IT. Who knows if any of the high-end Nomu would’ve been affected by paralysis but the small fry? Probably. Shiggy’s little twink ass? I would bet on it. Not that it would really stop him from using Decay but still
At the risk of sounding like someone I know who endorses child labor (the hero commission) here me out: CAN I GET A UHHH JUZO HONENUKI??? AGAIN YEAH good that he was at the mansion to do some long-range AOE action but if y’all are gonna force kids to join in on this war anyways, put your strongest and most useful ones at the place you need them. Shit it would’ve been real nice if Honenuki was there to trap some Nomu—uncertain if it would work against the high-ends that show some pretty flexible quirks but who knows—and even at the risk of reaching, maybe in some universe where Shiggy and Honenuki face off, it would be interesting to see Decay against Softening, since Decay’s one big weakness is that it can only work on solid objects sooOooOo? Idk. Would’ve been a cool match up but I hate that the kids are fighting anyways so we’re gonna ignore this Juzo rant. Just know it would’ve been cool
And as for the mess that’s going to be this fucking mansion soon... .. We’re just gonna ignore a whole ass Geten, big destructive power, big fucking threat, and not gonna throw Endeavor’s ass in there? Makes sense. They’re leaving it to Shoto I guess. They said time for you to fucking shine kid. Get in there. I mean really trading Endeavor for Edgeshot would’ve been top tier strategy but...
I MEAN THEY?? Made up a whole ass plan to counter ONE greasy-looking PLF guy by throwing Kaminari in there, but they couldn’t make up a plan to counter Geten? Are they just?? Pulling names out of a hat to see who gets to fight who? Did they spin a bottle to see who it landed on? Did Mt. Lady pull the short stick? I swear on shit when Geten starts going feral soon I’m not gonna feel sorry about it. Unless heroes got a plan and someone’s gonna make a sexy ass top 10 anime entrances to counter his ice then I’m disappointed. We went ape shit over Kaminari countering one of the commanders but are we not gonna get anymore ‘I’m your perfect counter and I’m here to stop you’ moments? No? I’M PISSED. 
I would have also settled for my kween Nejire being there to blast away some ice because who tf else is gonna do it? But eh. 
Dabi will also be trouble depending on what he decides to do. He only has about 3 good ideas a month and he’s used them all up by now so he’s in dumb slut territory as we speak. But you’d think that a villain as widely recognized as Dabi with such a destructive quirk would urge the heroes to have some plan to take him on but?? So far I don’t really see anyone quick to take on the role. Not that it’d be that hard bc he’s dangerous but also dangerously dumb. Where is Inasa. Maybe he can just blast the flames back in Dabi’s face. I love him but at this point he deserves to have some of his rights taken away
Don’t even get me start on Gigantomachia. I get the heroes had little choice except to attack before Shiggy was full-power but just?? NOT having a plan in case by some little chance Gigantomachia DID wake up? You stupid bastards. You absolute fools. I guess there’s not much you CAN do but FUCK y’all just gonna let him SIT THERE? No counter measures? No ‘Let’s execute this incredibly thorough and thought-out plan we’ve spent months formulating to restrain Gigantomachia in case he does end up waking up, because better safe than sorry’? When he tramples like 50 students I bet that shit gonna hurt
I hate it all. I was really happy about seeing Shiggy go off 272 bc he’s a king but after rereading from like, 258 I feel... weird. Maybe this will be resolved with more chapters but. eh. Now that I’ve thought of this, I can’t go back. I miss the brain power that was behind the MLA fight
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beeexx · 4 years
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911 lone Star episode 3 thoughts:
These are just going to become a recurring thing now, 3 weeks in a row haha.
-Okay, so all in all it was actually a pretty good episode I thought and I did like it. Only now when I’m supposed to write something my brain is kinda coming up with nothing to analyse because maybe there wasn’t that much to analyse? Or I could have an off week too...
Anyway,
-As always there is too much Owen...we really out here looking for breadcrumbs when it comes to the other characters, *sighs*. It’s hard being a fan of a network television show that only cares about Rob Lowe.
-Marjan and Eddie though, that was amazing. That’s probably the highlight of the episode. They had really good energy together and I actually really liked that the both of them were very impressed by the other, even though it was for very different reasons. I mean Eddie definitely thought she was cool, no surprise there, because she is bloody awesome, and a bit of an adrenaline junkie. But she was obviously equally impressed that he was so calm throughout a lot of what happened and when he saved the guy’s life by cutting him open. But the cutest thing was of course the instagram exchange, it was stupid, but a fun little lovely moment to give some levity and then in the end with the photo. I liked it a lot.
-TK and Buck, lol, the chaotic duo or disaster squad. I love how everyone thought that Buck recognised TK but it was actually Marjan that he was looking at. Lmao that made me chuckle. Sneaky FOX. Yeah they were good together, I had hoped for more or longer scenes with them, but apart from that I thought it was a very good pairing. There are some similarities in them and they’re both clearly dumbasses that don’t think things through from time to time. But I liked that they were given both fun scenes and more serious ones!
-Mateo remains a sweet little one brain celled cinnamon bun that needs to be protected. His obsession with Buck knowing his cousin, I cackled when they referenced that to be honest, and him wanting to know if Buck had been to any calls on Disneyland. Oh and also his very on point reference about Captain America and Iron Man when Buck and TK were being silly with their little comparisons and flexes about best saves. (Also team Iron Man for the record).
-LMAO okay so Judd continues being in charge of the dumbass squad. Dumbass and dumbasser, god that really made me laugh. He’s like yeah this is stupid, if we’re gonna do stupid, we’re gonna do it right. Yes, tell em!
-Paul....for fucks’s sake give that man some more lines and things to do and STORY. I miss him....
-Some teasing about Judd’s past too. I want more than breadcrumbs.... I hate breadcrumbs...sighs.
-No Carlos or Grace....well we better get what has been promised to us for next week’s episode, that’s all I am saying...
-All in all I liked it. And the 911 characters worked really well into the narrative too. Sometimes it can be different and hard writing other people’s characters into another show, but they handled that really well. I hope 911 lone star goes to LA at some point. I would honestly love for Carlos and Athena to meet. I think that would be incredible, and he could learn a lot from her.
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ssatoritendou · 4 years
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Hello, I like You
Pairing: kaminari/reader
Denki Kaminari
Word count: 1.4k
+ summary: You are Jirou’s cousin and you were visiting for the weekend. Kaminari falls in love with you when his eyes landed on you but he is too nervous to talk to you that where Shinso comes in. 
Genre: fluff
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"Jirou I-I don't know if I'll fit in." "Nonsense _____. They'll love you. Don't be so nervous all the time." "Jirou I'm not like you. You are so blunt and out there. You're never nervous about anything." "You are one to talk. You are going to a performing arts school and you want to be a singer. I'm too on edge about sharing my music with anyone." "Mmm...whatever. I'm still learning how to use my voice without putting people to sleep." You said looking around the U.A. campus. Jirou your cousin had invited you to a party that 1A was having. You had been so busy with your school but you were able to get some much needed time off. "You would make a great hero _____," Jirou said nonchalantly. "You aren't the only one who thinks that. But then again others think I would make a great villain too." "I know. I know. You know I just want my baby cousin to be happy." She nudged your shoulder. "You are literally 2 ½ months older. Not that much of a difference." "I just like to tease you." The two of you approached a building label 1A. "Ok. They are kind of idiots, mainly the ones I hang out with." "That's just to soothe your ego." "Yeah...Wait, I don't have an ego problem. Ugh, never mind you. Our parties are usually mellow. Except for Bakugou, Kaminari, Kirishima, Mina, and Sero. Iida sometimes." "So they are loud people. Like your dad?" She nodded and pulled on the door. "Hey, guys this is my cousin, _____. She is spending the weekend with us." "Gorgeous." A black-haired boy said Sero you remembered. "You are pretty and are you sure you are Jirou's cousin?" a blonde boy known as Kaminari said.
Jirou had a scowl on her face and sent her jack's into each one of their ears. "Shut your faces." She said. "Trust me we are very similar. Except I don't play as many instruments as she does and I'm jealous because of it." You laughed. "I saw most of you guys at the Sports fest you did really well. Nice try Sero." His face fell down. "Don't remind me." Kaminari was laughing. "I wouldn't laugh Dunce you were flirting with vine girl before she knocked you on your ass," Bakugou said. I chuckled slightly. "Congrats on winning Bakugou." "I didn't win. Half n' Half passed out I didn't get a chance to beat him.” "Oh ok." You smiled awkwardly. "Is he always like this?" You whispered to Kaminari who was standing next to you by now. "Yeah. But you get used to his brut attitude and rude behavior. Usually, Kirishima is here to calm him down." "I think you did well at the festival. I mean you must be strong if Todoroki had chosen you to be on his cavalry battle team." You smiled at the blonde boy. He blushed a little. "Even though Jirou has told me several times you are just a stun gun with a battery limit." "Oh come on. I'm better than a stun gun. I'm strong than one." He started to flex his muscles. "You have the same brain capacity as a stun gun," Jirou said from behind you. "Whey!" Everybody said at the same time. You started to laugh. Kaminari pouted a little. "I think you look cute when you have that dumb expression on your face." "Uh-uh..." Kaminari was stumbling, he felt his brain short circuit. "You actually made him shut up for once. Thank fucking god sometimes I feel my brain cells dying when he talks. But then again I am the one listening to him." You heard a tired and dull voice say. "Cool you're that guy that can brainwash people," You said excitedly. "Wow, a person that doesn't think I'm evil. I'm flattered." "Evil? Oh people say things like you would be better off as a villain?" "You got it, sweetheart. What is your quirk?" "It's almost like a lullaby I guess. Whenever I sing people tend to pass out. People used to say stuff like I would be great for stealing things and getting away with it." "Hey if the hero thing doesn't work out and you decide being a musician doesn't fulfill your needs we can always pair up together and rob places." He said sarcastically. You laughed at the idea of being a villain. "I don't see why not." The whole time Kaminari was watching the exchange between you and Shinso. He slowly became jealous. "I'm Shinso by the way." He stuck his hand out to you. You returned the gesture. "_____." While shaking your hand Shinso could feel Kaminari gawking at the two of you behind his back. ”Kaminari do you mind helping me with something." He said to the blonde standing next to you. "Uh sure." They both looked at you. "It's fine. Jirou said something about showing me her room and setting up my mattress anyway. See you guys later.” You walked away and caught up with your cousin.
"You looked like an idiot just standing there while I did all the talking,” Shinso said rolling his eyes. "She called me cute." "Rudolph please calm down," Shinso remarked. "If you are nervous to talk to her you need to get over it she is only here for 3 days. Only chance buddy after Jirou won't let you near her." "That's easy for you to say Shinso! You don't give a fuck what people think about you." "That's not true. I would like people to think of me as a caring and nice hero and not a villain." "Well, you sure don't act like a nice person." Shinso let out an exasperated sigh at his best friend's overreaction. "She is just so...She is everything!" Kaminari shook Shinso’s body. "Alright then. You are going to hate me for this but you need to shut the fuck up. Now, what type of soda do you want?" "Mounta-" Kaminari felt my body go numb. He wouldn't. "For the rest of the night, you are going to act like nothing's wrong. You are going to act like the usual annoying self you are going to very nice to ____ and a little flirty. Like you always are but more directed at her than at 9:30, you are going to ask her to go outside with you and then ask her on a lunch date for tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?" Denki felt his head nod. This isn't the way he wanted to do things. Why did he have to be such a dunce and fall for Shinso's dumb trick?
"That was really funny Kaminari." You laughed at the joke he made about Jirou. "I'm going to get some food you want some?" "Sure thing pretty lady." You blushed a little and went to the kitchen. "What are you doing?" Jirou asked. "What?" "Kaminari is an idiot." She stated. "A cute one and a funny one at that, Emo Princess." "What did you call me?" "Kyoka calm down it was just a joke. I like him so what?" "But _____-" "Kyoka come here," You asked her to come in closer so you could whisper to her. "Listen I had a little crush on him since the sports festival." "You really have no standards do you _____." You stuck your tongue out at her. "He's nice and funny. I like him. Deal with it." You walked away with a bag of chips. "I got some chips if that's ok with you?" "That's perfect." The blonde boy replied with a happy smile on his face. "Hey, _____ I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow?" "Really?" "Yeah, I understand if you think I'm weird." "Nonsense Kaminari I would love to go on a date with you." You hugged him. "Uh _____ what are you doing?" He asked when he snapped out of Shinso’s trance. "Um hugging you?" "W-why?" "As a thank you. I guess. You know for asking me on a date." "You said yes?!" "Uh yes. Didn't you just hear me?" "Haha. Um, Shinso brainwashed me to ask you out." "Oh, I see." You looked down disappointed. "That's because I was scared to ask you out myself. Not that I didn't want to! Tomorrow afternoon then?" "It's a date!" You kissed his cheek. He lightly blushed."A-alright then," He said nervously. You chuckled lightly at his nervous behavior because he was cute.
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renaerys · 4 years
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PPG One-Shot: Six Degrees Chiller (Brick/Blossom)
A new cute one-shot in honor of @carriedreamerx birthday! In the same high school AU as part 1, part 2, and part 3, but can totally stand-alone. Also posted on my AO3. Tune in for some laughs and some Reds cuteness!
Summary: Brick goes deodorant shopping. It doesn't end well. (Or does it??)
xxx
Brick squinted at the nine-foot shelf packed with a full color wheel of deodorants and antiperspirants. The sheer surfeit of brands and scents was as daunting to behold as it was absolutely batshit insane—how many ways did people need to not smell like a dirty gym sock?
He picked a random stick and scowled at the label as if it had offended him and all his future progeny. Who the fuck would want to smell like mango lassi?
The squeak of a shopping cart rolling down the aisle sent Brick into a febrile panic for a hot second, and he shoved the saccharine deodorant stick back onto the shelf. A geriatric woman with a hunched back, a bright head scarf, and eyes so folded over with wrinkles it was a miracle she could see anything at all wheeled her cart slowly past Brick, who froze where he stood. She smiled politely at him, and he nodded out of sheer self-preservation instinct. The moment she passed him, he yanked the bill of his red cap lower over his eyes.
“Get a grip,” he grumbled. He was an eighteen-year-old guy buying deodorant, not stool softener. He was totally casual and had absolutely no reason to be so fucking paranoid. Nobody who might recognize him was coming to Cooper’s Market at 8 a.m. on a Sunday.
Brick wiped his clammy palms on his jeans and searched the shelves for what he’d come for so he could hurry up and leave. There it was, fifth shelf in a sea of sleek black and edgy, neon letters: Axe Ice Chill.
“Okay, do you consider yourself more of a music lover, sports star, gaming guru, or style icon?” Boomer had asked as he sat cross-legged on the sofa with his laptop open to the Axe “Find Your Magic” test a few months ago.
“Sports star,” Butch had said on his left, and poked the screen that wasn’t a touch-screen.
“That’s you, moron,” Brick had said, totally above this stupid test. “Pick style icon.”
Boomer grinned. “Oh yeah, your hoodies are so stylin’.” He clicked the next question. “Signature scent? Huh, maybe warm and aromatic?”
“Sounds like one of those Yankee holiday candles,” Butch had said.
Unfortunately, he had a point.
“Well, you're not exactly woody and earthy, and you’re definitely not fruity and sweet—”
“Just go to the next one.” Brick clicked on “fresh and cool” and waited for the screen to load. “Smellin’ good!” the loading page flashed at him. Jesus fucking Christ.
When the quiz presented a true or false statement, Butch moved like he had a bug up his ass and slammed the touchpad before Brick or Boomer could do anything about it.
Boomer tried not to laugh. “Dude, come on.”
“Please, he’s a punk-ass dweeb who’d never make the first move in a fight, let alone on a girl—” Butch had taunted.
Brick punched him in the throat with his Super speed and smiled at the sound of his asshat brother gagging. “Choke and die, motherfucker.”
Butch wheezed as he laughed through the pain, and Brick and Boomer breezed through the more generic age and appearance questions: under 18, long hair (“Mane Man!” the quiz gushed, and Brick almost melted Boomer’s laptop right there), and natural look. After an artificially anticipatory loading screen, a picture of a dude with a clown nose crowd surfing in a sepia Instagram filter appeared on the screen with the generic “Be your best self!” encouragement in blocky letters superimposed upon it, and finally the expert, personalized recommendation for Brick’s body spray needs.
“Because you’re hotter when you’re chill.” Brick had cringed when he read that idiotic tagline the first time, and he cringed reading it again now in the deserted personal hygiene aisle where he prayed no one would find him buying this cry-for-help vanity spritz.
However.
He sprayed a bit of mist in the air and reveled in that cool, icy scent that wasn’t a scent so much as a feeling. Six degrees chiller in a bottle. The first time he’d tried it (under great duress), he’d griped and bitched and slammed his bedroom door to get away from his howling brothers. Settled on his bed with a frown, he had to admit it did cool him off. It was almost pleasant. The smell wasn’t overwhelming like that tiger piss Butch bathed in on the daily. But it wasn’t out of this world compared to the generic shit he’d been using before.
It wasn’t until Blossom sneezed on their way out of AP Lit that her ice breath—and understanding—hit him with the force of a cold snap to the balls.
“Sorry, did I get you?” she’d said, abashed as she covered her mouth with one hand and fished out a bottle of Purell from her messenger bag with the other. Her ice splatter fast melted on his shoulder as his too-warm body absorbed the cold with a bizarre, but extremely pleasant, shiver down his spine.
Son of a bitch, but he had a kink.
Which, of course, spiraled way the hell out of control when he found himself here months later with a recycled shopping bag he’d brought so he could carry the three bottles of Axe Ice Chill he planned to purchase home, because Brick planned ahead and liked to keep his bathroom well-stocked.
Which also, of course, was why at that very moment, fate decided to punch him in the dick.
“Bubbles, you have, like, fourteen bottles of shampoo at home! You don’t need another one,” Buttercup groused at 8 in the goddamned morning on a Sunday.
“Those are all different products, not just shampoo. Honestly, Buttercup.” Bubbles zipped into the aisle with Buttercup on her tail just at the moment Brick had his second panic attack in the span of five minutes and completely lost his shit.
He launched the bottle of Axe Ice Chill so hard into the ceiling that it lodged in there tighter than a prairie-dogging turd.
“Brick?” Blossom’s hand on his shoulder nearly sent him yeeting after his abused body spray, if the sheer mortification didn’t rob him of further motor function and exactly one hundred percent of his brain cells.
Like her sisters, she wore a jacket over her pajama pants. They must have just popped over for some last-minute breakfast staples and a side of peer humiliation. But even in those criminally hideous Ugg boots and five boxes of pancake mix in her shopping basket at 8 on a fucking Sunday morning, her smile glowed.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” he returned lamely, because that was all she was getting from him until his neurological functions rebooted.
“Hi, Brick,” Buttercup said, suspicious like usual and searching for some excuse to bust his balls for a laugh. “What’re you doing here?”
The Super sisters had cornered him in front of the Teen Spirit, which came in an absolutely frightful eighteen scents because there was nothing pubescent teenagers needed more than eighteen reassurances that their social survival depended on smelling like a potpourri candy bar.
“Shopping, obviously,” Bubbles said. “Ooh, Brick, you have straight hair. What do you think?” She held up two bottles of brightly colored free-range, organic hair shit.
“I think I was just leaving,” he managed.
“Empty-handed?” Buttercup peered at him like he might transform into a literal dick with ears if she only managed not to blink for long enough. He could smell the threat of a joke on her.
“They didn’t have the brand I wanted.”
“Oh, that sucks,” Bubbles said, genuinely stricken.
“Girls, let’s get going. I really want those pancakes,” Blossom said.
“We better grab more syrup. Buttercup finished it all,” Bubbles said, already moving away. She dropped both hair products in Blossom’s basket, not bothering to choose between them.
“Oh please, everybody knows you and the Professor are the syrup fiends in this house.” Buttercup floated after her and waved to Brick. “Hey, tell that shithead to answer my texts. He owes me $20.”
“Uh-huh,” Brick said, fully intending not to mention anything about this conversation to Butch at all.
“Sorry about your favorite brand being sold out,” Blossom said.
It’s fine, he would have said had she not caught his cheek in her hand and pressed a frosty kiss to the corner of his lips before he could do anything about it. Frozen fernlings crept over his cheek and chin, down his neck, and slowly absorbed through his now flushed skin, and he shivered. Without even thinking about it, he reached for her, but she was already walking away to catch up with her sisters.
When she got to the end of the aisle, she shot him a cheeky grin over her shoulder and had the nerve to wink at him. “Stay cool, Brick.”
Red in the face and high on her, Brick just stood there like an idiot gawking at his kind of unofficial girlfriend and the singular dominating object of his fantasies, be they sexual or otherwise. What was dignity when she smiled at him like that? What was a paltry imitation in a bottle when she kissed him like that?
The paltry imitation fell from its hole in the ceiling and exploded on the tiled floor at Brick’s feet with a winter ferocity that, in that moment at least, rivaled Blossom’s in the heat of battle.
When Brick got home later that morning and Boomer asked him why he smelled like a snowman’s asshole, Brick burned the clothes on his back and spent the next half hour in the shower thinking about how he was going to convince Blossom to make the first move and finally make them official.
xxx
Y’all better appreciate the research that went into this fic. That Axe quiz is real and I took it pretending to be Brick, and it literally does spit out a photo of a dude wearing a clown nose in a club. If that’s not a sign from the Daddy that I’ve chosen the righteous path, then idk what is. Sacrifices to my Chrome search history were made for this fic in the name of celebrating Carrie, ergo, worth it.
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klbwriting · 4 years
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The Sparrow and The Rogue - Part 1
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
Pairing: Ben Hargreeves/ female!Reader
Warnings: some fighting, a touch of fat-shaming
Summary: The Umbrella siblings arrive back in 2019 to discover that Ben has no idea who they are, their dad wants them all dead, and they are once again in way over their heads
Notes: I’M AT IT AGAIN.  Another series because I’m a glutton for punishment and I can’t resist my love for Ben Hargreeves.  A few actual notes now.  Note 1: In this I refer to Ben as Number One because I feel that is who he seems to be in the Sparrow Academy and also once Reginald learned of the others I don’t think he would allow personal names ever again.  Note 2:  I have named the reader in this as Number Eight because I feel its ambiguous that you can infer yourself as a reader into the shoes of someone just called a number.  Note 3: I am really trying to portray the characters well so I hope you enjoy!  Please like, reblog, but most of all COMMENT send asks about it or just reply with something or use fun tags.  Thank you!
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Klaus couldn't process what he was seeing.  Ben, his brother, his dead compadre, the one person who was always there for him (except when he was on something, and that one time he just abandoned him in a bar), was right there in front of him with a bad boyband haircut and hate in his eyes.  It was a scene that was both tragic and beautiful for Klaus.  Vanya felt similar feelings rise in her.  Ben had been the one to truly save the world, had been the kindest of her siblings when they were kids, the one who seemed to actually love her and here he was looking at her like he wanted to unleash the horror on her right in the living room that she used to call home.  Diego recalled easily how Ben when he was possessing Klaus had hugged him so tight and he had felt the love he missed from his baby brother, but now he had the distinct feeling that Ben would take him out without a second thought.  None of the other four had had any moments with Ben recently but they were feeling similar things, happiness at the fact that he was alive, but confusion over how different he seemed.  Klaus finally opened his mouth to say something when Reginald stepped in.
"These are the morons I told you about Number One, they have come to usurp your group, they are what I have trained you for," he said.  The Umbrella siblings turned to face their father, faces a mix of rage and hurt.  Ben frowned looking at the motley group in front of him.  "Well Number One?  Lead your team against these frauds."  He was conflicted, he had rarely attacked anyone who didn't deserve it and he didn't really know what these guys did to deserve the wraith of his father, but before he would make a move the front door of the academy burst open, shattering to the ground as several figures entered the room.  Leading them was a familiar face.
"You dummies going to just stand there?" Lila asked as she entered the room ready for a fight.  The Umbrella siblings looked back to the Sparrow siblings to see them now all around Ben, masks on, and ready for attack.  Surprisingly however, none of them looked anything like the Umbrella siblings, they were all completely different, except for Ben.  
"What are you waiting for Number One? ATTACK!" Reginald yelled. 
  "Shut up dad," a girl standing beside Lila snarked to Reginald.  He glared back at her.
"I see you've grown yet again Number Eight, getting bigger by the day," he snarked back.  She snarled at him.  
"O come on, fat-shaming?  That's a little much," Klaus said.  Then he caught sight of Lila's expression.  "O right, escaping."  He followed his siblings and the two women out as the others with them were left behind to fight with the Sparrow siblings.  They got a few blocks away before stopping for breath.  
"Number Eight?" Five finally spat out at the unknown woman.  She shrugged. "I was Number Eight for five years before Lila here came along and sprung me," she explained.  Diego looked confused.
"You look exactly the same as you did in the 60's how is that possible if you raised another peron?" he asked.  Lila smirked.
"A lady never reveals her secrets.  O I missed you love," she answered, gripping Diego's face in her hand.  He rolled his eyes but didn't pull away.  He missed her too if he was being honest even though she had tried to kill him, a few times.  "Now I see you have met your new counterparts."
"Why is Ben leader?" Luther asked.  The rest of the siblings looked at him as if to say 'what the fuck dude?'  He held up his hands shrugging. 
"Because Ben as you call him is the strongest in that crop, at least in terms of powers, channeling a being of destruction in your abs can get you a lot if you try," Eight responded.  "But he can be sympathetic and good most of the time."  She reddened some at the confused looks on the siblings faces.
"You'll have to forgive sweet little Eight here, she has a bit of crush on Number One there," Lila said, putting an arm around Eight that the woman immediately shrugged off in annoyance.  "Anyway, now that you've returned to the present I should catch you up shouldn't I?  Come on, to our little hideout, the others should be getting there by now since our little distraction and extraction worked."  She turned without getting a response and headed down a flight of stairs that had construction blocks in front of it, disappearing underground with Eight following her.  The others looked at each other and one by one they followed the women into the ground.
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Number One found himself wondering several things after the scuffle had ended.  One, why had his father spent so much time talking up this group of siblings like they were evil incarnate?  He didn't see any sign of anger or threat from any of them.  Two, why did Eight always have to show up with Lila?  It drove him crazy to see her, especially now after their last one on one fight that didn't exactly end with a normal take down unless Lila was teaching unexpectedly kissing as a new technique.  And three, where the hell had they gotten the name Ben from?  He racked his brain for a time that he was known as Ben and he couldn't recall one.   "Dad, what was all that about?" he questioned as his siblings watched at dinner that night.  Reginald sighed deeply, hating to be questioned, especially with Pogo and Grace in the room.
"Number One, I have told you before, the Umbrella Academy is a rival, a group who wants to destroy us and what we hope to achieve," he said as if One was a small child.  
"I understand that's what you told us but that is not what I saw in them today, they looked sad, and confused," he said.  "If they were a threat then why didn't they seem to know us at all?  Why did they call me Ben?"  
"Enough Number One, if you cannot listen properly then you are dismissed from dinner and are to go study Lord Byron again, maybe you will learn something finally," he snapped.  One gripped his fork tightly but stood and did as told, just like always.  He was the leader and needed to set an example.  He heard the whispers from his siblings before they were silenced by their father.  He felt Number Three poking around in his mind, trying to see what he was thinking, trying to put a thought into his head but he shook it off and headed upstairs to his room. 
He shut the door and let out a breath, finally relaxing for the first time that day.  He stripped off his uniform and got into comfier clothes, before laying down in his bed.  He laid there, actually taking out Lord Byron and reading some before he heard the last of his siblings go to their rooms.  Once he was sure that the house was completely locked down and everyone was at least pretending to sleep he put the book down and rolled over, feeling behind his bed for the loose brick just below his box spring.  He pulled it out and from it he pulled out a crayon drawing and a cell phone.  He put the picture back into the hidey hole before powering up the phone.  He smiled at the message that was waiting for him.
'It was nice to see you today even if I almost had to kill you' 'You couldn't kill me if you tried' 'Ya, you're probably right, but you couldn't kill me either One' 'I know Eight, I know' 'Maybe we can find a way to have a fight tomorrow?' 'I do have some time scheduled to patrol between 9th and 15th street aroud 5 pm' 'I'll be sure to vandalize a building or maybe rob a warehouse on say 12th?' 'I'll be there to stop you' 'Can't wait, goodnight One' 'Goodnight Eight, o and what dad said, you look amazing the way you are' He didn't get an answer but knew she'd see it in the morning and hopefully it would make her smile.  He put the phone and brick back and drifted off imaging her smiling at his message.
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imjustthemechanic · 3 years
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The Price of a Soul
Part 1/? - Agent Russel Part 2/? - The Letter Part 3/? - Miss Lake Part 4/? - The Stewardess Part 5/? - An Assassination Part 6/? - Fallout
In the real world pepper spray wasn’t invented until the 70′s, if anyone wanted to know, so it would be a very strange weapon to the SSR.
-
As it turned out, Thompson did not get the chance to visit Peggy in the hospital.  After washing her face with soap and water over and over again, the doctors declared that while they didn’t know what had been done to her, it appeared unlikely to have any long-term effects, and released her.  By this time the burning had gone down significantly, although her eyes were still swollen and watery and the back of her throat felt as if she’d drunk straight vinegar and immediately vomited it up again.  In addition, she had developed a pounding headache.  It felt as if her skin were too tight for her skull and her eyes too big for their sockets, with everything pulsing in time with her heartbeat.
She took a taxi back to her hotel and found the button for her floor by feel.  Even the dim late-night lighting felt like needles in her eyes.  She had to ask a maid to direct her to her room, and when she got inside she made sure all the lights were off and felt her way to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face.
This was a cause for immediate regret, as everything started burning all over again.
In the end she simply dropped herself into bed, face-up, and hoped to feel better in the morning.
She did not, particularly.
It was nearly noon when Peggy woke, thanks in part to the time difference between the coasts and in part to the very late night before.  Her head still ached, and the sunlight through the crack in the hotel room curtains seemed to slice into her eyes like one of HYDRA’s beam weapons.  It was incredibly tempting to just stay in bed all day, and the next day, and the day after that, and Peggy would have given in were it not for the fact that when she rolled over she realized she needed to use the toilet.  With a theatrical groan, she tossed the covers back, stood up, and staggered into the washroom.
Peggy had not, the previous evening, bothered to take in what she looked like in the aftermath of Miss Lake’s attack.  It was not quite as bad as she’d feared, but still not a pretty picture – her eyes were nearly swollen shut and the skin around them, along with her nose, lips, and cheeks, was ferociously red and puffy.  It looked superficially like a severe sunburn.
She reached to rub one eye, then thought better of it.
Now that she was upright, Peggy no longer felt quite so much like staying in bed the entire day.  She should at least have some breakfast, and then let Daniel know she was all right.  He would most likely have heard about last night and would want to be kept informed.  With that in mind, she called downstairs for room service, combed her hair, and then carefully held the telephone receiver an inch away from her skin as she asked the operator for Los Angeles.
Daniel was relieved to hear from her.  “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said.  “Thompson said you’d been burned by some kind of chemical?”
“I have,” said Peggy, “and there seems to be nothing I can do for it except wait for it to get better.  It’s already improved from last night.”  The headache, at the very least, was no more than a mild annoyance together, rather than an all-consuming agony.
“Let me know if they figure out what it was,” Daniel said.  “Could be useful.”
“Whatever it is, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy,” Peggy told him, then re-evaluated this statement.  Who did she consider her worst enemy?  Some of those Nazis who were still being tried for their crimes could do with a dose of that substance.  At her most obnoxious, so could Dottie Underwood.  She would keep that in mind.  “I don’t know how Miss Lake is doing yet,” Peggy went on.  “She was still in the hospital when I was released.”
“Oh, she’s out now,” said Daniel.  “Thompson called me this morning.  They’ve got her in custody at the police station down the street, the same one we kept Dottie at, but she’s not talking.”
Peggy sat up a little straighter.  “Well, at least we know she won’t be able to escape without help,” she quipped.  “Nobody told me.”
“They probably didn’t want to disturb you,” Daniel suggested.  “You’re convalescing, after all.”
Peggy considered how she would have felt if the phone had rung at eight am while she was still trying to sleep off whatever this was, and had to concede the point.  “I suppose I’d better head down there and see what they’re up to.  Thank you for telling me.”
“Don’t work too hard,” said Daniel.
“I’ll try not to, but I can make no promises,” Peggy told him.
After breakfast, she washed her face – carefully, and with almost more soap than water – and brushed her hair, then got dressed.  Makeup seemed like a terrible idea so she wore none, choosing instead a pair of large sunglasses and a hat she could tilt down to make her face harder to see.  She couldn’t see well enough to tell if people were staring at her as she hailed another taxi.  If she’d tried to walk, they probably would have thought she was a blind woman, blundering down the street with only the barest idea where she was going.
“Telephone company headquarters, please,” she told the cab driver.
Fortunately, once she reached the New York office, Peggy really could have found her way around the building with her eyes closed.  She took the elevator up to the SSR, and immediately encountered Thompson.
“Marge?” she heard him ask.  “You look terrible.”
“Your honesty is refreshing, Mr. Thompson,” Peggy replied, and even she didn’t know if she were being sarcastic or not.  “Has anyone figured out what she sprayed me with yet?”
“Actually, Dr. Mroczek was just giving me the results of that now,” said Thompson.
Frank Mroczek was the East Coast SSR’s head of the science department.  Peggy couldn’t see his face well enough to tell what he thought of her appearance, and he tactfully declined to say anything about it.  “Well,” he said, “yes, we analyzed the substance in the perfume jar.  The active ingredient appears to be capsaicin.”
“What is that?” asked Peggy.
“It’s the chemical that makes curries spicy” he explained.  “She seems to have isolated it, put it in an emulsion with what I think is propylene glycol, and used it as a weapon.  It’s not soluble in water, so trying to rinse it away won’t work.”
“I’d noticed,” Peggy sighed.  “Thank you, Dr. Mroczek.”  The idea that it was a substance people ate on purpose was reassuring.  Hopefully it meant that Peggy wouldn’t suffer any lasting damage.  “Have we learned anything else?” she asked Thompson.
“We found your gun in the car,” he said.  “Along with hers.  It’s another Colt thirty-eight, with a home-made suppressor.”
That was why all Peggy had heard was a popping sound.  “How did she break the window glass?”
“She didn’t.  She drilled through it with a hand auger.”  Thompson shook his head.  “She must’ve been at it all night.  No idea how she did it without being seen.”
“All that effort only to shoot the wrong man,” Peggy observed.  “Who did she get?”
“Armin Zola,” said Thompson.
Peggy’s eyes were too swollen to open wide, but she could feel them trying.  “What, really?”  As political prisoners went, Zola was if anything more important than Fenhoff!  He was one of the men the United States Government was pumping for information on the Nazi and HYDRA science projects and methods, though unlike some others he was considered too dangerous to be allowed his freedom.  The CIA was going to be furious.
Just what they needed, she thought.  Another acronym involved in this mess.
“Is he dead?” she asked.
“Very,” Thompson said.  “The bullet entered his left cheek, went straight through his brain, and hit the wall.  Good riddance, if you ask me.”
“I’m inclined to agree but there are people who will not be,” Peggy observed.
Peggy heard the elevator open and turned to see what it was, but from this distance could make out no more than a vague blue man-like shape.  She stood no chance of recognizing the individual until he spoke.
“Chief Thompson?” he asked.  “I’m Ned Russel, from the California FBI.”
“Agent Russel?” Peggy asked.  “What are you doing here?”
“Agent Carter?” Russel was as surprised as she was.  He came closer, and she was able, by squinting, to make out his familiar face and plaid blazer.  “I didn’t recognize you!” he said.  “Bees?”
She blinked.  “Bees?”
“One of the secretaries at the Sacramento office got stung by a bee in her garden last summer,” he said.  “Her hand turned purple and swelled up like it would burst.  Some of the men still call her the Lobster Lady.”
“I’m sure she appreciated their sympathy,” said Peggy.
“I see you two have met,” Thompson observed.
“Briefly,” Peggy agreed.  “Agent Russel, I thought you were being taken off this case?”
“I’m here as a witness.  They need me to identify Miss Lake as the woman who drugged and robbed me.  After that… yes, I’m being reassigned,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said.  “How is your wife?”
Russel sighed.  “She’s gone to stay with her brother in Houston.”
“Well, that I’m afraid serves you right,” Peggy said with a nod.  “No, incidentally, I was not stung by a bee – I was stung by Miss Lake.”
“I see.  Guess I got off easy.”
Thompson escorted his two guests up the street to the station where Miss Lake was being kept.  She was, indeed, not only in the same building but in the same cell as they’d kept Dottie, sitting on the bed with shackles on her wrists and ankles.  Peggy still couldn’t see very well, but she made out that they’d washed the charcoal off Lake’s face and hands and put her in a gray women’s prison uniform, and she’d been allowed to comb her hair.  Her accident had taken the skin off her knees and the back of her right arm, and her right cheek was scraped and bruised, but she still looked considerably better than Peggy did.
The dim illumination in the cell didn’t exactly count as the full light of day, but it was enough to tell that this was definitely the same person who’d come to the Los Angeles office claiming to be Agent Nadine Russel.
The prisoner looked up as they entered, and smiled, wiggling her fingers at them in a parody of a wave.  Her expression was downright smug, Peggy thought.  Miss Lake knew she had secrets the SSR wanted badly, and she also knew that she alone had control over when and whether she would reveal them.
“That’s her,” Russel told Thompson.
“All right.”  He nodded.  “We’ve got one positive ID.  How about you, Carter?  Is that the woman you met?”
“Yes, it is,” said Peggy.  “I would know her anywhere.”
Thompson approached the bars, and Peggy very nearly decided to grab him and pull him back.  She could just imagine Lake darting into action the moment a potential victim came within reach.  Fortunately, Thompson was smart enough to stay about an arm’s length away to speak to her.
“You’re going to jail either way, sweetheart,” he said.  “Assault, robbery, impersonating a federal agent, unauthorized access to classified information, breaking and entering, and now murder.  We know you can talk, so there’s no point in sitting there all stony-faced.  If you give us information, we might go easy on you.”
Lake raised a hand, and pointed at Peggy.  “I want to talk to Agent Carter,” she said.
Thompson’s eyebrows rose.  He looked over his shoulder at Peggy.
“Is that the first time she’s spoken?” she asked.
“First time,” he agreed.  Thompson looked at the prisoner levelly.  “Why do you want to talk to Carter?” he asked.
Lake said nothing.
Peggy tried.  “Why do you want to talk to me?”
“Because I think you want to talk to me,” said Lake.
She was certainly right about that.  Peggy’s purse, with that mysterious letter still in it, suddenly felt very heavy.  Ironic how the thing she most wanted to talk to Lake about was the one she could not bring up in anybody else’s presence.
But she could definitely learn something.  “That I do,” she said.  “If one of you gentlemen could bring me a chair,” she asked Thompson and the police, “I’m sure I could talk to our guest all day.”
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