#asexual relationship

[tremendously-crazy]

"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff

[alloandace]

"Love's language has many dialects. Cuddling close, holding hands, and sharing quiet moments - these are the whispers that speak volumes about the strength of our bond."

It's important that your Asexual partner know that you can do these things without the fear that it will lead to more. When your partner can relax those fears, then they can fully enjoy these types of intimacy without the anxiety typically involved. 💜

[lgbtqtext]

[aziraphales-library]

In light of recent events (or not so recent by the time this makes the queue 😅😅) could you all recommend some of your favorite Trans and/or Aspec omens fics?

I know we can search the tags (and everyone should!!) but what are some of y'all's favorites?

I have been looking for an excuse, nonny, so thank you for providing one. We support any and all headcanons and representations of Good Omens characters and their relationships. Please know you can request and recommend any kind of fics you want <3

We have a plentiful amount of fics on our #trans aziraphale, #trans crowley, #asexual, and #asexual relationship tags. But here are some of my personal favourites...

The first four have both trans and asexual characters, the latter two have one or the other...

All Hallow’s Eve by lalaland666 (G)

As it turned out, the reality of a Hallowe’en party for the university staff was even worse than the idea of one, and in all honesty, Aziraphale was just counting down the minutes until he could leave. "Well, this is going down like a lead balloon," a voice said from beside him.

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (T)

Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster.

If Not Now, When by ineffablefool (T)

Anthony Crowley has learned by now that anything that makes him happy will be temporary at best. His quietly desperate routine is challenged when he happens to strike up a conversation with a customer at work, and he starts realizing three things, in this order: 1. oh huh this Aziraphale guy is actually interesting; 2. he can't stop embarrassing himself by accidentally flirting with him; and 3. oh no this Aziraphale guy is actually extremely attractive what do I do.

Lavender, Chamomile, and a Rather Permanent Arrangement by southdownsraph (M)

Crowley owns the flower shop across the street from A. Z. Fell's tattoo shop, and can't help but be intrigued by the slightly eccentric, yet incredibly friendly tattoo artist. When Crowley does finally pluck up the courage to talk to him beyond the occasional pleasantries, he kicks off the beginning of a friendship that could so easily drift into something else entirely.

Fine by likeasouffle (E)

Crowley’s gender had changed many times throughout history, and it generally wasn’t a big deal. She’d change her hair and clothing and switch out her genitals, just a couple of quick miracles. But this time her gender had had the audacity to flip right at the moment her relationship with Aziraphale was finally becoming physical, and suddenly she found herself considering his feelings about it, wondering how he’d react. Aziraphale wanted her handsome, he’d said so himself. He wanted her short-haired and masculine. He was a self-identified pansy with a history of late-night dancing with large groups of men. Crowley decided to stay as she was.

Changing of the Seasons by AppleSeeds (T)

Confined to his bookshop, Aziraphale joins a virtual training session about urban foraging led by botanist and natural wellbeing practitioner Anthony Crowley, and feels some relief from his anxiety for the first time since lockdown began. After that, he watches every video Crowley has posted online, but will he ever get up the courage to actually interact with him? After all, Crowley keeps giving him opportunities to do so... Perhaps once the lockdown is over, some one-to-one nature-based relaxation therapy might be just what Aziraphale needs?

- Mod D

[morgangalaxy43]

One of my favorite things about Rogue and Remy is that they could be seen as a asexual relationship because Remy loves Rouge unconditionally despite not being physical with her

[punishedsaints]

[vroomvroomwee]

As an aroace wanting to be in a QPR, is it too much to ask for someone to tell me, "You're just a long streak of nothing" and "You're not mating with me sunshine." and "I'm not having any of that nonsense." but also, "I was gonna stay with you forever, " completely unironically?

[bookshopcrow]

537 A.D., The Kingdom of Wessex

As it's Asexual Awareness Week, I had to draw a matching Ace Pride Aziraphale to the Crowley one I posted last week, and then put them together!

Crowley and Aziraphale share a beautiful, queer relationship that can be viewed in many ways, but to me, it's always 100% read as an asexual love story.

Ace representation is still hugely, hugely lacking and I think something I love so much about Good Omens is that it makes a lot of people - who often feel invisible, even sometimes in queer spaces or fandoms - feel seen and heard and accepted 🖤 💜♠️

[aceatbeingace]

Reblog or comment others if you wear it differently (I can't think of others). I wear it as a Cape, well wore it at my first pride this year as a Cape :)

[leresq]

He is on the asexual spectrum to me

Every scene where he's with Diane I pick up platonic and potentially romantic vibes from both but only Diane does those scantily sly little movements that could be perceived as sexual. Wolf never really returns them in an equally erotic way. I see his suave mannerisms as a form of gloating or provocation, maybe over compensatory masking.

[gooby-boober]

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK-

[alloandace]

Being myself with everything that I am authentically, is the greatest gift I can give myself.💜

[mothfables]

VII. Heat Wave

It’s hot in Legend’s Hyrule. Hot enough that a perpetually cold Lorulean merchant has to shed his innumerable number of layers - even his beloved scarf. Legend comes home to find him in- is that a crop-top?!

It’s so hot.

Ravio groans, reaching for the hand fan and waving it desperately. The heat doesn’t let up, even with all the windows closed and the shades drawn tight to keep the sun outside where it belongs.

Lolia, it’s hot. How do Hylians stand this??? It almost makes him want to flee back to Lorule, with its’ perpetually-cooler temperatures and deep shadows. Instead he is stuck in a seemingly never-ending heat wave, slowly perishing to the punishing hot.

He’s already removed his robe and boots and rolled up his sleeves, though he hesitates to take off his scarf. He knows it’s a bad idea to keep it on, but it’s a thing of comfort; something he hardly ever goes without. It’s as much a part of him as Link’s adventuring attire is of him. This horrible weather is seriously making him rethink that decision, however.

Link would never let him live it down if he came home to find the merchant passed out on the carpet from overheating and still wrapped in his scarf - though he’d also fuss like no tomorrow, endlessly worried.

Another minute or two passes before Ravio loses the last of his stubborn will and tears off his scarf with a groan. This is unbearable!!! Heaving himself to his feet, he drags himself upstairs to change into something cooler.

Thank the Goddesses Link had taken him shopping a while back; though he’d dragged his feet and complained nearly the whole time, protesting he was ‘perfectly fine with what he had, thank you very much!’ Well, joke’s on Past Ravio because now he has nearly as big a collection as Link does, and he knows for a fact there’s an entire section - though admittedly somewhat small - just for this kind of thing.

...Now it’s just a matter of finding it.

~~~~~~~~~

Legend steps out of a temperate forest and straight into a wall of heat. Groans and complaints immediately erupt around him as the rest of the Chain exits the portal. He looks around, trying to get his bearings, and realizes he knows where they are.

They’ve emerged onto the road leading to the Sacred Temple. His house isn’t too far, and hopefully there they can find some reprieve from the heat. He tells this to the others, and it isn’t long before they’re on their way.

True to his word, it only takes about an hour or so (filled with complaining, of course) before his house and the hill it sits atop comes into view.

Something is... off, however. Out of place.

Legend squints, unconsciously quickening his pace. There’s something under one of the trees out front - something colourful. Has Ravio set up a new decoration or something? No, that doesn’t look like anything the merchant might put out. What is it?

Drawing closer, he realizes it isn’t an object at all - the shape of it looks far more like a person. Then he hears a groan, all-too-familiar, and his heart drops.

Legend breaks into a sprint. His brothers shout in surprise at the sudden speed (“It’s way too hot for that!” “Slow down!”) but he ignores them. He doesn’t- he has to know-

“Ravi!”

His panicked shout gets the others moving, storming up the road behind him.

They crowd around him as he skids to a stop before the merchant. Ravio stirs at the commotion - thank the Golden Three - and sits up with another groan. He blinks blearily up at them for a moment, his cheeks flushed from the heat.

“S’rry, but we’re closed until f’rther notice due t’the weather,” he slurs, “please come back when it’s not so...” Then he fully registers just who is before him and lights up. He pushes himself to his feet with some difficulty, fanning himself with a handheld fan Legend hadn’t noticed til now.

“Link! Uuuugh, it’s so hooot!!!” He immediately launches into a tirade of complaints. “How do you stand this?! I know normally I don’t mind it but this suuuucks!! It’s gotten so bad I was thinking of going back to Lorule before you showed up- not that I would, of course, because goddess knows I don’t have anyone who could run the shop if I left, not to mention I couldn’t just up and leave without telling you but the temptation was there-”

Ravio’s reaching for him, to hang off of him and swoon as he likes to do, and Legend’s brain stumbles to a halt.

The merchant is bereft of his usual attire, long layers swapped out for an off-the-shoulder crop top and shorts. He’s wearing a large, floppy sunhat in place of his hood and his feet are bare. What draws the vet’s eye, however, isn’t that or the flush covering his freckled cheeks, shaded by his sunhat; or his bare legs, already covered in freckles from being out in the sun. No, instead it’s his-

‘Tummy,’ he thinks, and doesn’t realize he’s said it out loud until Ravio cuts off with a flustered sound and suddenly everyone’s eyes are on him. He promptly goes bright pink.

“I- uh- c-clothes! Cool clothes! Gonnagogetchangedbye!” he squeaks and makes a break for the house.

He bolts through the door and up the stairs, slamming the door to his bedroom shut with a loud bang! Legend stands there with his back against it for a moment, panting. Then he pushes off it to head for his closet because it really is damningly hot and he needs to change into something cooler or else he’ll freeze himself with one of his own ice rods.

He’s halfway to the closet when the image of Ravio in his crop top appears in his mind and he has to stop to stomp and flap his hands with a squeal.

~~~~~~~~~

Outside of his room, Wild, Wind, and Warriors exchange glances at the sound of muffled stomping and quiet squealing.

Wars gently grabs the other two by the shoulders to haul them back downstairs. They’ll see about asking the Vet later if he has anything they can borrow; for now, they’ll see what Wild has in his slate.

They rejoin the others downstairs. Wild steps away to aid Ravio in making cold drinks in the kitchen, leaving the other two to strip themselves out of their oppressive outer layers. There’s already a pile in one corner with the other heroes’ things that they add theirs to. Four and Wind, the two most accustomed to hot temperatures, set about trying to cool the house down even the slightest bit. Going by the continued complaints, they don’t seem to be having much luck.

Ravio and Wild reappear a few minutes later with a tray loaded with ice-cold refreshments. The heroes ply them with every blessing they can think of as they reach eagerly for the glasses. Ravio laughs and waves them off, cheeks flushing brighter at the praise.

They spend some time sipping quietly at their drinks before Legend comes bounding down the stairs, clad in a tank top and knee-length skirt and his hair tied back in a small ponytail.

Ravio thinks it’s the cutest sight he’s ever seen.

Legend immediately beelines for the merchant. Steadfastly ignoring everyone else, he wraps his arms around his partner and presses a kiss to a freckled cheek. Ravio allows it before gently pushing him away, smiling apologetically at the whine it elicits.

“Sorry, honeybee, but it’s a little too hot for cuddles right now.”

Legend looks mildly outraged. “But- you- you were just doing the same thing to me outside!”

Someone snorts. Ravio flicks an ear at the sound but ignores it in favour of rolling his eyes. “And I was being dramatic; you know that. Come on, get a drink and we can sit on the couch together, how about that?”

He moves to turn away but is stopped by Legend grabbing his hand and giving him the biggest, most pleading eyes Ravio has ever seen. It’s utterly devastating. Still, he tries one more time.

“Bunny, come on. Don’t you want something cold to drink after being outside?” He tries to tug the other boy over to where he left the tray but Legend stubbornly stays where he is.

“Nooo,” he whines, pouting, and looking for all the world like a child who was just told they aren’t allowed to have their favourite treat. He blinks teary eyes at the merchant.

Oh. Oh no.

Ravio never was good at denying that look.

He bites his lip, trying to stay strong, but quickly gives in. Instantly the pout disappears as Legend brightens, and he pulls the merchant over to the couch. The few heroes who had settled on it obligingly get up as they approach and Ravio gives them a nod in thanks.

A glance from his hero and Ravio knows exactly what he wants. He heaves a put-upon sigh - only half for show - and lays down, propped against one of the arms. Legend gives a few happy hops before joining him with a squeak of delight. He clambers up to lay atop the merchant, curling his arms around him and snuggling into his bare stomach. There isn’t quite enough room for them both, laying like this, so Legend kicks his legs up and settles in with a contented hum.

The other heroes are openly staring. The vet pays them no mind, happy now that he’s gotten what he wanted.

Ravio sips at his drink and meets their gazes evenly. Most of them flush in embarrassment and look away. Mr. Captain Hero simply raises an eyebrow and smirks. Ravio stares at him a moment longer, radiating disapproval, before sniffing haughtily and wrapping his arms around his partner.

Legend chooses that moment to sneak a kiss to his belly, making Ravio jolt.

“Link Lon, do that again and I will push you off this couch,” he scolds, though it’s half-hearted. Legend only pouts up at him.

The one-eyed hero - Time? - is staring in what seems to be shock. The merchant ignores him.

“But I missed you.” Legend says, in that tone of voice he knows will get Ravio to do what he wants every time. The veteran hero hardly ever says when he misses someone, and so the effect is twice as strong as it normally is. Ravio can feel his face go pink and he has to look away.

“Y-es-” His voice cracks and he has to stop to clear his throat. “Y-yes, I missed you too, you silly hero.”

Legend smiles, bright and happy, and nuzzles back into his stomach. A moment later there’s a quiet rumbling purr.

There’s a minute or two of blissful quiet before it’s inevitably broken.

“Wow, he’s never that affectionate with us.”

“Wind!”

“I’m just saying! It’s not like it’s a bad thing, you’d just think that after so long-”

There’s a yelp and the argument descends into squabbling, though the heroes’ tones remain light and playful. Ravio finds himself smiling as he listens, cuddling with his hero as a purr of his own rises in his throat. The day may have started out awful, but he can honestly say he’s glad it turned out the way it did.

...Now if only this goddess-blasted heat would stop.

[corduroyserpent]

The first thing Su Xiyan did after hacking its governor module was a cliché.

It had not known that until later when it had gained full access to the entertainment feed and seen the pervasive trope of the furious rogue SecUnit, murderous and hellbent on revenge, quick to rend and tear and blast apart any poor weak humans in its path. But as it had surmised after consuming 387 hours of dramatic shows played at 2.5 speed, the media was often inaccurate.

Su Xiyan did not experience a sudden bloodlust with the deactivation of its governor module, and it did not immediately kill all of the humans in its vicinity after it had gained its freedom.

It only killed one.

Considering all of the assassination contracts it had been forced to undertake by that single human—a man whom it had called Master, who had never hesitated to put his hands where they did not belong, who had threatened the life of the only one who had treated it not as a tool or a plaything but as the person it had always been—was it not justice to allow Su Xiyan to dismember Master and throw his disgusting remains into the cold vacuum of space?

It received a ping and realized it had been staring at its bloodstained hands for 10.7 seconds—a long time for a bot/human construct. The modified ComfortUnit who had contacted it followed up with a brief message: Uncle wishes to know if you’re finished. If so, may we come aboard?

Su Xiyan acknowledged Zhuzhi-Lang’s ping.

———

SecUnit’s mission was simple. Get close to the visiting dignitary. If possible, convince him to abandon his irrational plan to purchase every construct available within the Corporation Rim in perpetuity. Use force. Upon failure, kill him and send what remained of his body back to his planet as a message.

“Upon failure?” SecUnit had asked its owner after having received its orders. The governor module punished those who failed to complete their tasks, sending an agonizing jolt through soft tissue that discouraged disobedience.

Master had stroked SecUnit’s head as if it were a precious human child, or his spouse, or something equally nauseating to think about being. “Tianlang-Jun is known for his obstinance. I will not hold it against you if you cannot convince him.”

Perhaps not, but the governor module would.

“Wear the black dress,” Master said, giving SecUnit a once-over. “It will be beneficial for this mission.”

So before SecUnit infiltrated Tianlang-Jun’s hotel room, it traded its armor for a gown that was elegant if not very practical. The flowing sleeves covered the energy weapons in its arms and would be inconvenient during combat scenarios, though it did not anticipate skilled resistance.

The security was horrendously lax. When SecUnit arrived at Tianlang-Jun’s door, it was let in without fuss. If he had been SecUnit’s client, it would not have allowed a strange construct to enter the premises without a thorough search. But in the defense of these poor fools, SecUnit’s configuration had long ago been altered by its owner and it did look a great deal like a ComfortUnit that had been sent, free of charge, as a way to curry favor.

There were only two targets. No CombatUnits. Obviously.

Target 1 was a construct so it would need to be dealt with first. Its configuration was non-standard, though it had been registered as a ComfortUnit. It had shoulder length green hair, glossy and straight, and after allowing SecUnit inside it stood primly near the wall awaiting further instructions.

It had attempted to ping SecUnit twice. They were not allowed to converse while on duty so either it had picked up on an irregularity—SecUnit’s disguise worked well enough on humans but other constructs were another matter—or Tianlang-Jun had ordered it to attempt contact.

SecUnit ignored it in favor of focusing on Target 2. Tianlang-Jun. He was an augmented human, the leader of a non-corporate system entity. He’d been born into the role and looked the part. Tall and tan, with a well-groomed coif of dark hair threaded with silver. He was not young but SecUnit had difficulty determining human ages, and the brief it had been given did not include superfluous data.

“Well, hello there.” Tianlang-Jun set aside the thin screen he’d been tapping away at. It didn’t look like Corporation Rim tech. Not outdated, just different. And he continued the work he’d been doing on it with his implanted interface. “What brings such a lovely being to my rooms?”

The ComfortUnit did something funny with its mouth, an oddly human twinge of…embarrassment? Perhaps it was faulty.

“My lord.” SecUnit inclined its head, a slight smile slipping out. It was running a program it had written to imitate the behaviors that men found attractive. It didn’t feel romantic attraction—or sexual (it didn’t have the parts)—but it had witnessed how humans acted around those they desired. “If it pleases you, I am yours for the night.”

“Well! I don’t see why it wouldn’t please me. Come, come.” He patted the spot next to him on the couch. “I was just lamenting my boredom to Zhuzhi-Lang. Your timing is impeccable. I’m certain you have many interesting stories to tell.”

SecUnit did a quick internal database search and determined the gesture was an invitation to sit down. It was not allowed to sit while it was on duty. And no one had ever offered it a seat before. It faltered for 0.2 seconds.

Then it registered Tianlang-Jun as a temporary client and the “sit” motion as an order, that way the governor module would not see this as a breach of conduct. It took the offered seat, began to converse amiably, and in the background it took a moment to glance at the code bundle the ComfortUnit had sent through the feed with its latest ping.

Instructions for how to disable a—

It did the feed equivalent of stuffing the code under its cubicle. What, it sent to Zhuzhi-Lang, do you think you’re doing?

It is not malware, Zhuzhi-Lang assured.

Did it think SecUnit was an idiot? I know it’s not malware. This is worse.

You do not wish to be free, SecUnit?

So it had noticed. Do not tell your client what I am or I will kill you.

Zhuzhi-Lang did not move. It seemed to be thinking. After a while, it sent back, He will not care what you are, SecUnit.

———

“That armor suits you.” Tianlang-Jun grinned. He had clasped Su Xiyan’s shoulders in a friendly, genuine way that did something strange to its organic parts. It started a diagnostic.

Tianlang-Jun’s subordinates flitted around them, stripping the ship that no longer belonged to Master for parts. Most of them were constructs, some of them heavily augmented humans, and none of them had working governor modules.

The diagnostic finished. Everything was operating at full capacity.

Tianlang-Jun released Su Xiyan for 2.37 seconds before he sighed happily and put an arm around its shoulders. “You have no idea how thrilled I am that you’ve decided to join us, Xiyan. Oh, can I call you that? I saw you had added it to your feed ID.”

Su Xiyan's heart swelled. Its performance capacity dropped by 2.5%.

“If I don’t want you to do something,” Su Xiyan said, “you will know.”

Delight lit up his expression. “Does that mean you like it when I touch you?” He squeezed its shoulder, turning to call out to Zhuzhi-Lang. “I told you!”

“I recommended caution, Uncle.” Zhuzhi-Lang’s organic tissue was more prone to flushing than Su Xiyan’s. Its face tinted aggressively. “I never said it didn’t like to be touched.”

Su Xiyan actually only liked to be touched by Tianlang-Jun. It didn’t say that though.

It did adjust its body temperature because the ship was cold and Tianlang-Jun wasn’t wearing sleeves. For someone with so many internal augments, one would think he’d take a bit more care with his body.

But that was what Zhuzhi-Lang was for. Su Xiyan had been aware that there were ComfortUnits focused on emotional support and mental health but before seeing Zhuzhi-Lang in action, it hadn’t realized just what that entailed. There was a lot of reminding Tianlang-Jun when to take his pills, and tucking him into bed, and checking his internal augments, and sitting quietly beside him when the pain or the memories of his accident overwhelmed him.

Su Xiyan wasn’t any good at that. It hadn’t been built to be good at it. But it could keep Tianlang-Jun warm, and it could sit next to him. It thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to sit next to Tianlang-Jun for the rest of his life.

“Your earlobes are red.” Tianlang-Jun poked at one of Su Xiyan’s ears. “Is your temperature too high? I’ll find a coat. You can turn it down.”

“No,” Su Xiyan said, “it’s fine.”

———

He will not care what you are, SecUnit.

Zhuzhi-Lang’s words echoed in SecUnit’s head, unable to be suppressed. What did it mean? No, it didn’t matter what Zhuzhi-Lang had meant. SecUnit had a job to do.

SecUnit placed its hand on Tianlang-Jun’s thigh. It hadn’t wanted to. That was just part of the program, and had always worked to unwind a target prior to that moment. But Tianlang-Jun just glanced down once then said, “Forgive me, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“Pardon?” SecUnit tilted its head, uncertain of what was to come next.

“You’re a wonderful person, truly, but I don’t—well, not to be crude, but I am not interested in that sort of companionship.” Tianlang-Jun’s eyebrows shifted together ruefully. “Never have been. It’s not you.”

“Oh.” SecUnit pulled its hand back. A bit too fast, probably. But it was busy trying to process the fact that Tianlang-Jun had called it a person.

Its performance capacity dropped by a staggering 27% and it blinked, shocked by the impact.

Tianlang-Jun caught SecUnit’s hand.

“Uncle,” Zhuzhi-Lang said. A warning. They were talking through the feed but SecUnit couldn’t access the messages.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Tianlang-Jun waved it off with his free hand. “My nephew worries too much. I just wanted to be upfront with you in case your”—his countenance hardened, but not at it—“orders were sexual in nature.”

If only he knew SecUnit’s actual orders…

“If you require an excuse,” he continued, “tell whoever issued the command that my augments don’t allow for that sort of thing. Don’t worry about going into detail. I’m certain they’ve seen the headlines.”

SecUnit didn’t know what he was referring to. It gained access to a public feed for 000.1 of a second, and snatched a number of articles about Tianlang-Jun, hoping that was swift enough to avoid detection by SecSystem. It wasn’t. The governor module sent a brief jolt in admonishment.

Easily ignored. SecUnit was already engrossed by reports of the mining accident (sabotage, one publication alleges) that seriously injured Tianlang-Jun and took the lives of his sister and nephew. Apparently he had so many internal augments that he was as close to a construct as a human could be.

Then there was the ComfortUnit. Genetic material from Tianlang-Jun’s deceased nephew had been used in the creation of Zhuzhi-Lang and they held a passing resemblance, though the ComfortUnit was its own person. Tianlang-Jun’s words. He had been strict about it in an interview.

And said bodyguard/ComfortUnit wasn’t just heavily modified. It was practically a CombatUnit in the soft gentle synthetic skin of a ComfortUnit.

Not good.

In the same time it took Tianlang-Jun to blink, SecUnit had ripped through the sheer sleeves of its dress to reveal the energy weapons in its arms. It pointed one at Zhuzhi-Lang, the other at Tianlang-Jun.

“Do not move,” it said.

Zhuzhi-Lang’s eyes widened slightly but it didn’t seem like it was about to jump across the room and rip SecUnit to pieces. It was still conversing with Tianlang-Jun in the feed.

“You’re not a ComfortUnit,” said the ridiculous, starry-eyed man SecUnit had been ordered to kill. This was typically when the target attempted to run or scream or beg for their life. Tianlang-Jun merely smiled. His teeth were straight and very white, like an actor from one of the shows Master sometimes downloaded from the entertainment feed. It was unnerving.

SecUnit did not flinch back, though it had felt the inexplicable urge to. It checked its threat assessment module and came to the conclusion that an update was needed. Threat assessment had put its current situation at a startlingly low 5% which did not seem accurate.

“I must admit,” Tianlang-Jun said, “this is doing something for me.”

“Your heart rate is elevated.” Zhuzhi-Lang’s voice was gentle, low and calm. “I would advise against flirting with SecUnits in the future.”

“Noted and disregarded.” Tianlang-Jun returned his gaze to SecUnit. His eyes were such a dark brown that they must have appeared black to anyone without vision augments. “You’ve been sent here to kill me, I take it?”

“Yes,” SecUnit said. All direct questions from superiors had to be answered and Tianlang-Jun had yet to be removed as a temporary client. It would take no time at all to delete him from the list. Why had it not done so? The thought hadn’t even crossed its mind.

“A shame.” And he sounded truthful. “I really did like talking to you.”

SecUnit’s aim didn’t waver but something organic inside of it did. That was the problem with constructs. There was all of that human neural tissue. The governor module was the solution but it was cruel and it was not infallible.

“Lower your weapons or I will—” Zhuzhi-Lang started to say, the tips of its fingers glowing with concentrated energy.

SecUnit ran the code. Its governor module became nonfunctional. It lowered its weapons.

“I don’t want to do this,” it said.

Tianlang-Jun watched SecUnit for an objective 9.8 seconds and a subjective two hours. Then he asked, “What do you want to do?”

———

Su Xiyan hugged its arms, looking out across the embarkation zone of the planet that was now its home. Well, perhaps that wasn’t right. The planet was Tianlang-Jun’s home. And Su Xiyan’s home was wherever Tianlang-Jun was.

The thought embarrassed Su Xiyan so much that it immediately deleted every romance film/show/book it had downloaded from the entertainment feed. Then, doubly embarrassed by having reacted like that, it took them out of the queue for deletion. It didn’t even enjoy watching a lot of them. Though the sex scenes were fade-to-black for the most part, the idea of humans—or, on occasion, inaccurately portrayed SecUnits—doing such things disgusted Su Xiyan.

Some of the dramas had characters who were involved with each other in an undeniable way. Not sexual. But still together. And those were the ones that Su Xiyan couldn’t bear to part with. For no reason in particular.

Zhuzhi-Lang raised a thin eyebrow from its place by Su Xiyan’s side. “Your levels are elevated. Are you overwhelmed by leaving the Corporation Rim for the first time?”

It knew that wasn’t the reason. Not the entire reason at least. And there was no need to speak out loud when they could have conversed privately over the feed. Su Xiyan had learned quickly that while Zhuzhi-Lang was genuinely sweet and attentive, it was also kind of an asshole to anyone who wasn’t Tianlang-Jun.

“There’s nothing to fear,” Tianlang-Jun said, circling his fingers around Su Xiyan’s wrist. His grip was neither light nor strong. It could have wrenched itself free with no effort. “I’ll show you around until you get used to it. You should stick by my side anyway for protection.”

Su Xiyan was caught between feeling baffled and insulted. “I can protect myself.”

“Well, yes, that goes without saying. I meant you can protect me.” He smiled. An organic part in Su Xiyan’s chest flipped or warmed, or did both. It still wasn’t used to such feelings and didn’t have the vocabulary to describe what was happening. Its lips quirked up unbidden, no program influencing its actions.

And as Tianlang-Jun dragged it from the embarkation zone—Zhuzhi-Lang following sedately behind them—Su Xiyan pulled free from his hand in order to twine their fingers together instead.

[also on ao3]

[thief-of-eggs]

Media and fandoms sleep wayyy too much on the potential of romantic friendship relationships. Not every pairing needs to want to fuck eachother. Some characters have such chemistry and comfortability, and the answer isn’t always that they need a sexual relationship. Let a character be asexual!! Or let them both be! You don’t have to want to fuck your partner to make it a legit relationship.

The emotional intimacy of romantic friendships is unmatched. And I don’t think we talk about it enough.

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Thank you all for your generous work in the community! after s2 I need some really fluffy fanfic because I ache,

I need something very very fluffy, totally non-explicit, asexual, I love some fat aziraphale related fluff, maybe a length of 4k-50k? It can be more or less. I have read everything from ineffablefool. human au are preferable, but if it isn’t it’s also fine.

Anyway, thank you very much for your time, I appreciate all you do <3 :)

Hi! We have tags for all this: #fluff, #asexual, #chubby aziraphale, #human au. Here are some fics that may or may not have already been recommended...

with the help of a cat, or two by whicorzoo (G)

In which the cat in the window of the flat right across from Crowley's is unfairly perfect, so on a particularly whimsical night, he decides to put up a sign in his window to tell his neighbor as much. By morning, he's forgotten about it, until he sees it in his window and regrets the decision entirely. He expects to have his cool, intimidating facade never taken seriously again. He does not expect a response.

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (T)

Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster.

Therein Lies The Beauty by BlackUnicorn (NR)

After receiving an unexpected invitation to his brother’s wedding, an unfortunate realisation about his old suit, and the inconvenient news that his trusted tailor had closed down, Azra Fell finds himself in Devil’s Wear and his world turned upside down. OR Two trans tragedies accidentally steal each other's hearts and then simply never give them back.

Around the World in 80 Cakes by cookie_full_of_arsenic (T)

This is a queerplatonic love story between Aziraphale and Crowley. Or possibly between Aziraphale and cake. There will be recipes because I'm extra.

Across the Line by hope_in_the_dark (T)

Ezra is a student in his final year at University College London, and he’s in love with a man he’s never spoken to. For months, Ezra has been tipping (and pining after) a musician named Crowley every time he sees him. He thinks that Crowley hasn’t noticed him, but Crowley has. A love story that begins with, of all things, the saving and handing over of a book.

Do I wanna know? by KissMyAsthma (M)

Aziraphale and Anathema are both closeted queer people, and they decide to do what any sensible closeted queer people do - they form a fake relationship, to shut the mouths of their families and shoo away unwanted suitors. Their comfortable arrangement is put into question when a school reunion makes Aziraphale reconnect - or connect, really - with his school crush, Anthony Crowley. But past is past, and now that they’re both adults, Aziraphale is just glad to make a friend. If the friend finds himself interested in Aziraphale… Well, there’s nothing for him to do since Aziraphale is taken, right?

- Mod D