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bsydelver · 3 months ago

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-MHA (1-A) as nowadays teenagers- social media mostly (stereotypes).

PT.1- the boys.

—>part 2 (the girls)

inspired by those “mha as American high schoolers tiktoks.”

The first section of this post has the ones I wanted to emphasize on the most then the second section will be just mentions of the boys that I found would be basic in my opinion or I couldn’t think about the concept of them being like the teenagers we have at this time,

Izuku:

This guy is active on social media 24/7.

He LOVES sending streaks on snap of everything happening, he finished studying? He is sending a streak announcing it; he was reading? He is sending a streak announcing it; he was on a call? He is sending a streak announcing it; you get the point.

His bitmoji looks like a carbon copy of him, he does not mess around when it comes to it.

The type of person to have a million different accounts on one platform: One is his main, One is his spam, One is for close friends, one for edits, etc. If you ask him for his handle or username he’ll say “which account?” or give you a specific one depending on who you are.

If he gets left on opened he deletes the message even for him only to avoid feeling embarrassed.

His music taste just depends on tiktok for the most part as he listens to audios there all the time for his edits.

I like to think that All might (or the pro-heroes in general) would be a professional player (sports) of some sort in this universe so Izuku would edit him like how people edit football/American soccer and basketball players.

He’s known in the editing community on tiktok and he loves the mutuals concept.

Not a lot of people he knows are aware of his editing hobby only Kirishima since they share it (Kiri does edits of crimson riot)— they would have that RMA fan and Barca fan friendship dynamic. (trust)

Trains the sport All Might is a professional in (and he is determined to be as good as All Might).

Part of the sassy men apocalypse.

Plays Roblox once in a blue moon and only for his friends.

Despite his extremely high screen time: he is actually smart academically.

If you’re playing a match with him (in teams, and sports that include, balls, passing, dribbling, etc.) and you have the ball, he will beg you to pass for him to shoot, but he still misses.

He likes the downtown boy style because he thinks it’s comfortable but Inko hates it.

He isn’t popular but he is still known,

Katsuki:

He barely has any social media platforms but for the ones he does have: it’s always just some private account that he only accepts people he knows on.

He sends his daily streaks and it’s always just the classic “S” drawn poorly on a black screen.

He only uses his story to repost other stories he was mentioned in.

His profile picture on every platform is a picture one of his friends took of him hiding his face using his hand, if it isn’t that photo: he just makes it a black screen.

He would send a tiktok or two every few months to a friend and then disappear again.

His main social media app is snapchat: that is what he uses for texting, calls and whatever other business he wants to do.

His snapscore is over 100k.

“wyll” warrior: if yk, yk.

Kirishima’s gym bro but never talks about it, it’s kiri who can’t help but bring it up.

Despite his somewhat “cold” personality, this mf is the definition of scared of girls: not even in the male manipulator way, he is just scared of them or avoids them.

He just wears plain shirts and hoodies, he doesn’t dedicate his clothes to a specific category: just wears what he wants.

Just expect the unexpected from him.

He is the captain of at least one sports team in his school.

He never studies (according to him) yet gets the highest marks somehow and everyone admires him for it.

Shoto:

He does not use social media at all, nearest thing he has to that is his phone number that’s about it.

Just uses his phone to call people or message them on imessage.

He does not get any joke or reference you tell him that comes from tiktok (referring to brainrot) or any other social media app for that matter unless you explain it to him.

He does backhanded jokes though that are actually hilarious.

Wears whatever he finds in his wardrobe, he does not have a specific clothing style.

His texts are as dry as a dessert.

He’s just there and everyone is here for it.

He’s the “non-chalant” guy every girl on tiktok posts about, and since he is canonically attractive: he is the topic of a lot of girl gossip sessions.

He is like an old man when it comes to phones.

He is very dedicated when it comes to sports, he will not hesitate to continue even when he is injured.

He likes listening to lo-fi and calming music in general: it helps him focus.

Him are Iida are study buddies, nobody can tell me otherwise.

He’s the guy you go to for notes if you missed any during class.

Koda:

He uses his social media accounts for photography.

He also tries to raise awareness about current problems in the world using his platforms.

He surprisingly has a lot of followers due to his insane skills.

He is the quiet guy who everyone knows in terms of appearance but nobody would actually remember him on a name basis except if they are friends with him.

Does not participate in school matches or anything sports related in general.

His mom packs him his lunch and honestly nobody says anything because he isn’t too loud about it either.

He is a really wholesome guy and anyone who knows him loves that for him.

He was raised right and has manners.

He is a vegan but not one of those crazy ones, he just does it for himself and he might not agree with the choice of eating meat but he won’t be an ass to you for it.

He’s the hotspot guy of the class, he always has mobile data so he could post wherever and whenever he’d like, people always borrow it from him and he has no problem whatsoever.

He does not have any unresolved problems with anyone whatsoever.

Everyone from school who has social media follows his accounts and he is just mutuals with people he probably never talked to before in person.

He loves posting bird chirping audios and videos and he made a couple audios that actually got used by a ton of people.

He is average academically and none of the teachers have any concerns when it comes to him.

He wears anything as long as it isn’t made out of fur, leather or anything that comes from an animal.

Ejiro:

His parents despise his phone, he is always on it no matter what in their eyes.

He will spam you with tiktoks no matter who you are, he doesn’t even expect a reply (but if you do he appreciates it) he just likes sharing videos.

EVERYONE knows about his edit account compared to Izuku, he’s the editor of the class.

He does not mess around when it comes to protein and nutrition.

He sends gym and training snap streaks.

If he has a crush, he will try to hint it using videos on social media and he will send you cute tiktoks saying he appreciates you and stuff.

He makes videos of him reaching his lifting PRs in the gym and always has phonk music in the background.

He has a highlight on instagram for only motivational quotes he posts weekly on his story.

All of his bios have a Crimson Riot quote in them.

He’s a great athlete and has respect for you even if you’re on the opposing team.

He is the captain of one sports team as well and all of his teammates love him.

He uses “🤨” and “AYOOOO” while texting.

He’s the type of guy to say “YAYAYAYAY” on text unironically.

if he isn’t on his phone, he is playing Fortnite or minecraft with his friends (mostly Denki) and he loves it.

He is the type to scream in games and use curse words even in a friendly way.

He spams the repost button on tiktok and the add to story button, it is an addiction at this point.

He has a girl best friend (Mina) and he is open about it in every way possible.

He is pretty chill with everyone: boy or girl, no girl gets the feeling that he has a crush on her unless he visibly shows it and he’s the annoying type of guy friend who’s sarcastically rude to you but knows his limits.

If you’re a girl and have a crush on his friend, you wouldn’t be able to help but tell him and you can actually trust him with it.

He hates being on bad terms with anybody and just wants to be cool with everyone.

He is just your average teen boy.

He struggles academically and he knows the reason and has always tried to improve but he feels like he can’t.

Denki:

He is scrolling on tiktok or instagram reels every single second of the day that is if he isn’t playing video games.

Can’t keep a snapstreak for the life of him.

Will respond to every tiktok you send regardless if you sent 1 or 1000 and he enjoys it.

Brainrot is the best thing that has ever happened to him.

He references brainrot in real life every time he gets the chance and he is just known for that, it’s like a staple for him.

He is the “no homo” and “it doesn’t count if we’re wearing socks” type of guy and he pairs it with Kiri’s “AYOOO”s.

Only gets a long with one girl (Jirou) cause he can’t get a long with any other or at least became close with them in contrast to Ejiro.

He loves playing fortnite with Ejiro and Sero and also he is always the host of minecraft worlds and will not forgive you if you kill his wolf/dog.

He begs Izuku and Jirou to play Roblox with him sometimes.

He has a pet and posts stories of them playing together and whatever pet it is loves attacking Denki for no reason.

He is his own person in someway and isn’t the type of guy to depend on someone for a personality but he will depend on the new social media brainrot trend for it.

This man should not be going near a ball or anything sport-related in general, because he’s ass.

Interacts with every post his friends publish and he’s always saying something in the comments.

He loves “homeless-looking” fits.

He is horrible when it comes to academics and he does not even try to improve because he finds no point.

Sero:

Sero has a surprisingly healthy screen time (only during school days though).

He is always open to playing games with the other guys and if he doesn’t have the game, he will download it even if they will only play it once.

He will watch every tiktok his friends send but will only do short replies because he’s too lazy.

He ADORES movie nights and Spiderman.

All of his profile pictures are group pics of him and his friends.

He is always posting food pictures anywhere in general, he loves the look of it.

He always looks forward to Denki’s replies.

Whenever his friends say something off guard to him: his smile fades or he does the “🤨” face and it just became a running joke in the friend group.

He gets matching socks with his friends because he saw a tiktok trend about it.

He tries to lecture his friends but does the same mistake at the end and just laughs about it.

He reposts news on his instagram stories just to mock it or say something critical at least once a week.

He laughs really loud during class and Denki does NOT help in preventing it at all.

He wears whatever one of his friends is wearing just to match with them because he usually doesn’t feel like choosing a complete outfit.

Has an overwhelming fear of parent-teacher conferences.

He swears that he tries his hardest in studying but he always gets marks as bad as Denki’s and he just accepted it.

Tenya:

In contrast to what a lot of people believe, I think Tenya would actually have at least one social media platform.

He wouldn’t use social media like his other classmates use it, but rather to help him share announcements quicker to the others since most of them are more active there.

He’d only have outdated minigames on his phone because he used to play with his older brother but other than that, he has nothing.

He offered free tutoring but Ochako convinced him that it would be a good idea to charge at least 1 bucks or something just so he can get a profit out of it.

He loves being organized and unironically has pinterest just to organize his thoughts there and whenever he mentions it, his classmates are shocked.

He hates when anyone sends a tiktok link or something similar to the main class groups because he thinks it’s out of place and bad.

Everyone comes to him for college recommendations.

People think he’d be a teachers’ pet but the teachers aren’t actually that fond of him or just treat him like any other and he actually appreciates that.

He scolds his friends for being too active on social media and that it can affect them in the future not only due to lack of concentration but also due to potential bad digital footprint.

He takes the internet really seriously and avoids anything harmful to keep his digital footprint as clean as possible.

Some of his friends ask him to set up a screen-time system on their devices because they trust him the most with it.

Straight A student and is in all of the advanced classes.

Apologies to:

Aayoma

Tokoyami (💔)

Shoji

Sato

Ojiro

Mineta (not really)

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sunsbleeding · 4 days ago

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The love of your life?

You enable me when it’s fun for you, (you wanna see angels as much as I do, you said it yourself). Don’t you remember the nights in LA, the world you convinced me we created. You hurt me, betrayed me, just like my last best friend, which is where the dagger has buried itself the deepest. I feel it between my lungs when I try and fall asleep, breathing doesn’t come easy when you are newly clean and kicked like a mutt… I know you used HER words on purpose, manipulation runs through your blood, more than oxygen and platelets. Contact a nurse.

When we are alone in a world we made up, two minds existing as a single cell organism; all neon lights and hand plucked music; laughter big enough to fill the whole sky with constellations… even if they are a bit confusing to decipher… You’re telling me that was all a hoax? I delete the pictures of us, I remove myself from the playlist (your taste is pedestrian at best anyways, other than the few songs the whole world knows are good. Who doesn’t like frank ocean, Lorde, and phoebe Bridgers. Do you even know another The Mountain Goats song???).

I refuse to play pretend anymore.

When I make a mistake you take me down a peg just because you can, when you remember you’re dealing with a problem not a person, then you treat me like yesterdays garbage; rotten putrid, you don’t even know where it came from (or pretend you don’t) in order to save face in front of girls you barely know. I’m glad you got your happily ever after, with the person you told me you were only staying with to get your birthday gifts, the girl who made you a cake that you immediately told me was ugly and not instagram worthy? and all I got was a hole shaped like a girl who I thought was every beautiful thing this stupid world had to offer. But I know girls like that, and they look nothing like you, they have a beauty that holds you like a mother’s arms.

The thing is, there are good people, you’re just not one of them, you want a free score because I have the money, so go ahead take my pharmaceuticals even though you have a fucking prescription and laugh at me when I fall.

Get an education, make something of yourself, do something with your miserable life, books about wizards are only gonna get you so far, and at least now I don’t have to pretend like that’s not embarrassing …

Real love comes, and I’m starting to get a taste for it, let me wash myself of this era, this liar “people pleaser” nonsense. I have room for friends with one face, Thomas, Joey, Bo, glo, joy, Morgan, and all the people I still get to meet. You have a lot of growing to do, but may we never pretend to share the same heart beat again, I pray for the next person that gets caught in your dirty fingers, god, I hope they find the sun.

#mine #text #rant/freeverse #for E #for evil #spilled thoughts #confessional poetry #very personal I’m sorry

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starleska · 2 years ago

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hi! im a really big fan of your fanfics (especially the wally ones) and i’m really curious to know what are songs that you associate with him?? please don’t be afraid to share!!! i really like talking and gushing over wally darling with a fellow wally simp lol

hey there anon!! 💖 aww my goodness you are so lovely, thank you!! it brings my heart so much joy that you like my writing...i can't believe the surge of wonderful feedback fired my way over this past week 🙈🙈 what a fun question!! there's a few songs i associate with Wally right now, and i'm sure more will pop up as we learn more about him;;; some are less overt, and more to do with Wally x Reader vibes - or, my terrible musical taste/hallucinating scenarios while listening to the same twenty songs 😂 fun simp challenge!! have a listen to a few of these with your eyes shut, thinking about Wally. you're guaranteed to have a good time 😉

Songs I Associate with Wally Darling:

Touch-Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon. no one could've seen this one coming 😂 no, as soon as i discovered Welcome Home i knew i'd finally found the right character to edit this song with. the conspiracy theory, cryptic vibes, slight desperation and of course retro-phone theming all work so well for Wally! 🥰

Out of My Mind by CG5. total coincidence that this banger dropped just as i learned about Welcome Home, and there's something cathartic and hypnotic about that repetitive chorus that fits with a lot of theories about Wally's struggles with Home...i had this one on repeat while writing The Nightmare Picnic 👀

An Unhealthy Obsession by The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra. this one's for all the yandere!Wally fans out there - i think every person who's a fan of terrifying, obsessive characters loves this song 😉 this is the one had on repeat while writing those yandere!Wally headcanons - i actually included it to listen to whilst reading in the original post, but i ran out of space!! 🙈

INSANE by Black Gryphon & Baasik. i know, strike me down for including a song made specifically for another Tumblr Sexyman on this list!!! but come on - the static, the showmanship, the overt friendliness masking a smiling, curious sadism...don't pretend like you don't enjoy this take on Wally, i've seen the fanart 😂

LA Devotee by Panic! at the Disco. this one's jam-packed with fun occult imagery and all about fame and obsession, so it feels perfect for our children's puppet show ARG!! something about it just hits right with how the fandom perceives the darker side of Wally 😳 i'm listening to this a lot at the moment as i've got a Metalocalypse MEP part to this song in the works, but my thoughts can't help wandering to Mr. Darling;;

Super Psycho Love by Simon Curtis. lord help me, you can tell i was in the AMV-making community in the late 2000s/early 2010s 😂 this song's a staple for attentive, manipulative, obsessive characters...even if we end up being totally wrong, and Wally is a Darling in more than name, we'll always have fun with our unhealthily possessive fantasies 🥰

Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. hey, i'm a basic bitch - i love listening to sugary-sweet, fluffworthy AMV music whilst writing my x Readers 🙈💖 a lot of the folks who request Wally often bear a little bit of their souls when asking - revealing insecurities about themselves, and wanting to be reassured he'd love them anyway. this is such a pretty, nostalgic song, and i think it captures the softness with which many of us would like to be treated by him ✨

Crush by Mandy Moore. similar to the last entry, yet leaning even more into that bubblegum romance vibe...i'm simply weak for blushy crush scenarios 🥴💖 i like this one a lot for x Readers, especially an embarrassed Reader absolutely overcome with how precious they find Wally 💖

Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng. one of my favourite songs of all time, and the perfect choice if you want your heart to ache 💔 i think this is a wonderful choice when thinking about a hurt Reader...someone who has fully given up on love, only to be confronted with Wally's relentless sunshine personality and falling head over heels 🥺 this song speaks to why i think many of us are infatuated with Wally...his charm coming from that childlike outlook, his tendency to love everything and everyone. lots of us could benefit from that kind of unconditional love, i think;;

#wally darling x reader #wally darling x you #wally darling #welcome home #welcome home arg #starleskasks

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rweoutofthewoods · 14 days ago

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Coming here after the new owcm chap (absolute masterpiece) and something that i keep thinking about is the music. As far as i see this has been an important thing to james, finding someone that shares his music taste and i keep thinking about the inevitable future when james will find out that regulus never really liked the music for the right reasons. But then does regulus actually dislike it?? Im not sure if this is an aspect of BPD but regulus has started listening to that type of music because of james that much we know, he is convincing himself that he is lying to him and he is being manipulative and all that. What im wondering about is... is that the self-sabotaging talking. I feel like he actually likes that type of music now despite the fact that he started it bc of james and now its a genuine thing that connects them but regulus' lack of sense of self is preventing him for realising that

or maybe im totally overthinking i just wanted to see if you have something to say about it. i hope i worded it correctly i feel like its a mess of an ask but owcm makes me feel a lot

No you’ve absolutely got it!! Regulus’ thing with James is that he sees his obsession as a lot more evil and manipulative than it actually manifests as.

You’ve absolutely nailed basically the entire fic down with the “Regulus’ lack of sense of self,”that really sums up his character in this fic. Because like, Regulus says oh, he only listens to this music bc James likes it. he dislikes it, yet he doesn’t name the type of music he does actually like. It’s the music Regulus listens to in his free time, when James is around and when he isn’t. And if he truly hated it and only listened to it bc of James, it doesn’t make total sense that he’d listen to it repeatedly and when James doesn’t even know he’s doing it.

But Regulus is very confused about himself and his perception of himself. I’ve tried to show already how he struggles with other’s perceptions of himself vs. what he “knows”. And he shapes who he thinks he is around how he EXPECTS people to perceive him. He describes himself on multiple occasions as off-putting and making other people uncomfortable, yet we’ve never seen anyone else actually describe him that way. He is very prone to self-sabotage and he doesn’t think he deserves James, and that he’s somehow fooled him into their growing relationship.

Anyway, anyway, I went off on a tangent but you clocked my intentions here exactly right and it got me excited!!

Tysm and thanks for dropping your thoughts with me, it made my day Xx

#mere answering things ;)#fic: october will cure me

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homestuckreplay · 3 months ago

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John Egbert, The Chess Grand Master's Girlfriend

(page 422-423)

8/1/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( (again) Verdict: STILL VERY INCORRECT

These pages introduce a whole bunch of new concepts, but make a lot more sense when read side by side with page 251, which has already hinted at these (making Act 2 feel really well planned out). A lot comes together this way so this is 1300 words of Lore Discussion.

The Seven Gates - These appear to be the seven blue spirographs we pass through in first person POV on page 422, and also the blue spirographs that appear above John's house on page 251. These look like some kind of stepping stones (in-game achievements?) on the path to Skaia.

The number seven hasn't appeared in Homestuck yet, but in Western culture it is seen as a lucky number, and in Christian numerology it symbolizes perfection and evokes the seven days of creation, as well as the seven deadly sins. There are seven notes in a musical scale, and we know the characters are musicians, seven colors in the spectrum of light, and color appears to be symbolically relevant, and seven is the average roll for two six-sided dice, which are very commonly used in board games and tabletop roleplaying games.

Skaia - A spherical blue place covered in clouds with a white spirograph/flower shape in the center - perhaps made of pure sky, due to the name and its transparency. Of course, Sburb was created by Skaianet Systems, so its designers have some ties to this place. Its associations with height, sky, light and potential clearly relate it to the Christian concept of heaven. However, it's also referred to as a 'dormant crucible,' with a crucible being a scientific or alchemical container that can withstand extreme heat, used in historical metalwork and modern laboratories. The science and religion dichotomy is here to stay.

Nannasprite refuses to say what the 'unlimited creative potential' of Skaia means, because she won't give spoilers, but I immediately think of creativity = art. All the characters have hobbies that relate to creating and consuming different types of art, but for the most part they're not very good at it and/or don't have great taste. Skaia being something that unlocks their artistic potential - but at the same time, being something they have to put in a lot of work to reach, just as getting good at art takes practice - is very cool to me. However this could also relate to biblical creation, similar to the seven gates = seven days.

Skaia is 'untouched by the flow of time' and has so I absolutely think that people at Skaianet Systems accessed the creative power of Skaia and used it to create a video game that went far beyond the standard capabilities of technology, and that this power is the secret to their success (and how an unknown company made such a smash hit game on their first try).

Forces of Light & Darkness - Sburb is a classic good vs evil narrative, represented by the black and white pieces on a chessboard. Again on page 251, we see the flashing white/black/blue kernelsprite divide into not two but three parts - a white part that ascends, a black part that descends, and a blue part that remains with John. It's possible that these three parts all share knowledge via the game engine, explaining how Nannasprite knows so much about what's going on overall. She then becomes the bridge between the good faction, the evil faction, and the player whose arrival changes the game.

Seeing Skaia as artistic creation is interesting here, because it's exclusively associated with the forces of light/good. In the real world it's definitely possible for art to be used for evil, to attempt to manipulate people and intentionally spread negative and harmful messages, or just to mistreat the people who create it. In Homestuck, forces of darkness 'covet the destruction' of creativity (according to Nannasprite), which is a closer parallel to arts in the real world being underfunded and undervalued, with capitalism forcing people to work long hours at jobs where they're not able to stretch their creative muscles and that don't leave any time or energy for creative hobbies. The metaphor definitely works, but I'm really curious on if Homestuck will explore the idea that art isn't necessarily a perfect universal good.

Curtains/Stage - The many layered red curtains in page 422's animation share a design with the red curtains on page 247, marking the end of act 1. This positions the curtains/acts as representing different locations - John's house on Earth, Skaia in the Medium, likely others, perhaps corresponding to scene changes on a stage that need to happen behind a curtain. Nannasprite also uses the word 'stage' to describe the setting of a duel between light and darkness, coding Homestuck and/or Sburb as a theater performance.

Chessboard - So there's a 1986 musical called Chess, and I think any parallels are probably coincidence, but it's still fun to think about just due to the chessboard on page 423. The story is a metaphor for the Cold War, represented by a US and Soviet chess champion (which from an American perspective at the time were the forces of light and dark, although in the modern day I do not personally share this assessment). A Hungarian/English woman dates both of these chess grand masters at separate times, who tries to calm their rivalry and is simultaneously manipulated by it.

At the time, musicals were not seen as an intellectual artistic medium, and creator Tim Rice was explicitly trying to create a more literary musical that would be taken more seriously, which is similar to how Homestuck is expanding the possibilities of a webcomic. Also notable from Wikipedia: the original set designer (who was replaced due to illness) 'had planned a "multimedia" show, with an elaborate tilting floor, banks of television monitors, and other technological touches.' I'm going to look for a recording of Chess and see if there's any further comparisons worth making.

John's Role - Yesterday, Nannasprite said that the Incipisphere came into being via John's computer, but also stands independently of it and always has. Today, Nannasprite says that the forces of light and dark have dueled forever in eternal stalemate until John showed up. This was confusing to me until I realized it's exactly how video game worlds work - they 'come into being' when a player installs them and begins playing, but at that point the characters and world already have extensive history. No matter the story, there's no way for any faction within the game to 'win' or for certain key things to happen until the player takes action. The player character's arrival into the game is typically the inciting incident that spawns a new chain of events, beginning to change the course of the narrative.

John's arrival changing everything doesn't necessarily mean that he specifically is a fated hero, just that he's the player character. He probably has a choice of paths to follow in the game, and can choose whether to ascend to Skaia and fight alongside the forces of light, or descend to the weird smoke below his house and fight alongside the forces of darkness, either way ending the stalemate if he succeeds. I wonder what the morality mechanics are in Sburb, and how they correspond to John's echeladder.

If I was to wildly theorize, I'd say that if John fights alongside the forces of light, reaches Skaia and beats the game, he'll be able to draw from that 'dormant crucible of unlimited creative potential' to not only undo the destruction of Earth, but also to create Homestuck itself, and release this work on the day his adventure originally began (as he's now outside the flow of linear time) instead of releasing the Sburb beta. This would bring a lot of meta elements of the story full circle, would help explain the multiple layers of commands and commentary in Homestuck, and would make our world's story and John's story into one consistent narrative. If done well, I think that could tie everything up very neatly.

#homestuck #reaction #hm. i know an internationally ranked chess player. i should prepare some questions for whenever i next see him #theory #chrono

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elkkiel · 4 months ago

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Favorite This Place Will Become Your Tomb song?

Oof ramble alert here we go:

Descending. Descending will always and forever be my most precious baby girl from Tomb and I will defend her to the ends of the earth. It's a bit of an acquired taste (I didn't like it until after a few listens) and people don't really get it, but I genuinely think that it's one of the best songs on the whole discography. It's dark, sexy, ominous, off-putting, and utterly enchanting in the best ways possible. It makes my skin-crawl but also I want to go crawling on the ground too looooool

It's a good overview into the dynamic between Vessel and Sleep, the characterization of both, and maybe some insight into Vessel's experience with romance up to that point. Like, idk, it just summarizes the whole thing really effectively imo. You've got this toxic relationship where both parties know it's toxic. One keeps coming back despite the hurt and potential degradation they'll face because of it, and the other knows this and likes it.

The thing that really does it for me is the vocal style. I think there's a bit of a difference between music that's consumable vs music that communicates, and Descending def falls into the latter category for me. As in, it wasn't made to sound "good" or "pretty" in the way that most people would consider something "good" or "pretty" sounding. The choices made were the most effective in communicating the story Vessel wants to share (imo), even if some of those choices sound kinda "weird"

Setting up a dialogue of sorts using different vocal styles is such an interesting creative choice! I've never seen a song do something like that before, so the uniqueness alone captured my heart. Like you've got Sleep as this pretty high-pitched tone, and Vessel representing himself through a super uncanny, nasally, just kinda *weird* deeper register. And!!!! The thing I REALLY love is the pitched-up pre chorus!!!!!!!!!!!! Like the difference between Sleep sort of "telling it like it is" in a high tone to manipulate (ex. "you come crawling back to me" — like yup, isn't that proof of how much you need this?) vs Sleep just bullshitting (ex. "I've been left no choice, can't you see that?") in a *faked* high tone to manipulate is SO cool to me!!!!

I still want to do some more deep diving to really solidify my analysis, but this is my rough interpretation as of right now. Anyways stream Descending because she is so beautiful and gorgeous to me, and she's probably the most underrated song on the whole discography

#waaaah ty for this i am just so in love with Vessel's creative process #please please please anyone w/ descending theories share them w me please i am begging u #and that's not even getting into broader lore or connections to other songs or the instrumental or lyrical imagery or #elkk.lore #<- new tag baby lets go!#askkiel #fruitsandcheese.ask #sleep token #sleep token lore #tpwbyt

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crazykacey · 2 years ago

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HELLO I'M BACK WITH MORE CHRONICLE PAMPHLET TRANSLATIONS

Life has been more chaotic than I expected so that is why I've been MIA but Super Live and Chronicle DVD have summoned me to do more translations! This time it's the cast introduction and a small Q&A! First is the Inners + Chibi Moon! Outers and the rest of the cast will be translated at a later date lol

Disclaimer: there might be some errors and/or grammar mistakes. Enjoy!

Sailor Moon/Super Sailor Moon/Usagi Tsukino

Riko Tanaka

Q: What do you remember of being selected to be part of the Sailor Moon musicals?

When I heard that I was cast as Sailor Moon, it felt really unbelievable. But then due to corona, I had to wait a year before that news could be shared so it didn't feel very real at all. But finally when i went to costume fitting, I really got the feeling that I have become Sailor Moon.

Q: If you ever have to fight villains like Sailor Moon and her friends, what would be your fighting style?

Manipulating thunder like Sailor Jupiter, making them feel so much regret that it'll leave them numb lol. Supreme Thunder!!! And I also yearn to fight with huge items like Sailor Pluto and Sailor Saturn!

Q: A few words about the character you play.

She is clumsy but also strong, energetic, honest and a very hardworking girl. I will always admire her. I'm really happy to play character who is loved by many people! I will do my best for Sera Myu Fes(Chronicle) as well!!

Born 27th of February, Tokyo

Has appeared in commericials since she was 6 years old, such as Pokemon and others. She was won an ACC from her radio commercial Morinaga in-Jelly. She has also appeared in movies and played the role of a heroine's childhood self. She has been more active as an actress since high school and has appeared in many performances, such as ...from the moonlight ~A Delivery from the Moon~ and others.

Sailor Mercury/Ami Mizuno

Kanon Maekawa

Q: What do you remember of being selected to be part of the Sailor Moon musicals?

It was my stage debut so I was very honored. After the final audition, I went home together with Sailor Jupiter, Kisara Matsumura, who I have been good friends with for a while now and she said that "it would be nice if we could perform together."

Q: If you ever have to fight villains like Sailor Moon and her friends, what would be your fighting style?

I love pickled plums, so I would be Sailor Vinegar, protected by acid. With my powers of sour stimulus, I would weaken my enemies taste buds.

Q: A few words about the character you play.

Congratulations on the 30th anniversary! Please keep on loving Ami Mizuno and as for Sailor Mercury who I admire so much, i hope you shine forever. I love you!

Born 23th of February, Osaka

in 2018 she was accepted into the Yasushi Akimoto x TV Tokyo Project, Seishun High School 3-C so she moved to Tokyo after she graduated high school. She wast part of the 1st generation and appeared in the program for three years. She had her CD debut from EMI Records in Universal Music. She has also appeared in several TV dramas such as, Ore no skirt, doko itta?(Where did my skirt go?) and Anata wa hannin ja arimasen. (You are not the culprit.)

Sailor Mars/Rei Hino

Rei Kobayashi

Q: What do you remember of being selected to be part of the Sailor Moon musicals?

From the very beginning i have loved Sailor Mars and my manager knew that I wanted to play her so when the call came that I got the role, we both screamed with excitement. And when I told my mom and grandma about it, both of them started crying tears of joy which made me very happy. Seeing this made me want to work even harder!

Q: If you ever have to fight villains like Sailor Moon and her friends, what would be your fighting style?

At first, I'll try to talk to them and get along with them. Maybe I will find the good points in them, there is a high chance that they will change their mind! But if they keep on doing evil deeds, I will give it right back at them, Evil Spirit, Begone!!

Q: A few words about the character you play.

When I was 4 years old I fell with the canny and cool Rei. And when I found out that we had the same name, I felt it was fate. I love the Rei-chan who has a lot of charms, such as the way she hides her passion, the way she says things clearly and honestly, and the fact that she is kind and cares about her friends! Through the Sailor Moon musicals, and by playing Rei, I have met really wonderful and important friends. I'm really grateful. I will cherish each and every performance with love!

Born 29th of November, Saitama

in 2010, she made her model deubt by becomeing and exclusive model for the fashion magazine "Pichi Lemon". After that she joined the idol group, Yumemiru Adolescence. After graduating from the group in 2019, she started to be more active in stage performances and TV shows as an actress and model. Her main performances have include, Kishiryuu Sentai Ryusoulger on TV Asahi, Suiensaa on NHK, Peach Boyz (Ariake Garden) in XFLAG PARK 2020 and others.

Sailor Jupiter/Makoto Kino

Kisara Matsumura

Q: What do you remember of being selected to be part of the Sailor Moon musicals?

When I heard from my agency that I was cast as Sailor Jupiter, I remember being so surprised and full of joy that i couldn't stop trembling. And when we, the 5 Inner Soldiers, finally met face to face, all of them were those who had left a strong impression on me from the auditions. At the beginning, it was. a bit difficult to communicate due to the tension and corona but now everyone has become irreplaceable friends to me!

Q: If you ever have to fight villains like Sailor Moon and her friends, what would be your fighting style?

If I fight, I will fight like in my favorite RPG games and defeat evil! In the game, I can become as strong in mind and body as the Sailor Soldiers. I want to collect the strongest characters from all over the world and defeat evil and protect the world! Or course if possible, i would rather discuss and solve the problem without fighting.

Q: A few words about the character you play.

At first I was very nervous and worried if I could properly play such a cool character as Sailor Jupiter. But soon after, I started to admire her, who is by far the most powerful, the most sweetest and kindest of all. I learned to believe in my friends, to protect and love them. I will also continue on loving Sailor Jupiter so that I can get step by step closer to her.

Born 21th of July, Shizuoka.

Made her debut in 2019 in the NTV drama, Ore no skirt, doko itta?(Where did my skirt go?). She was also a regular in the CX TV show, Mezameshi TV Imadoki Girl. From June of 2021 to February of 2022, she appeared in three parts of AmebaTV's show, Kyou, Suki ni narimashita.(Today I fell in love). In 2022 she appeared in Kao's Essential THE BEAUTY advertisement and AbemaTV drama series　Fukumen D. She is active in a wide range of fields, including stage plays, modeling and movies.

Sailor Venus/Minako Aino

Marin Makino

Q: What do you remember of being selected to be part of the Sailor Moon musicals?

When I found out I was chosen, I was so happy and immediately told my family about it!! At the final audition, I remember Rei Kobayashi-chan talking to me when I was nervous. So I was really happy that I was able to become a Sailor Soldier with Rei-chan and everyone else! When I'm with the rest of the 5 Sailor Soldiers, I'm just so happy <3 Unlike Minako-chan, I'm far form being a leader, but since she is, I'll do my best to make everyone to able to rely on me!

Q: If you ever have to fight villains like Sailor Moon and her friends, what would be your fighting style?

Special Attack!!; Even though we meet for the first time, it feels like we have met before!! And then we become friends ♪ I call this special attack "Becooome my friend"!

Q: A few words about the character you play.

Please lend me your power so I can play the cute Minako-chan that everyone loves <3

Born 25th of November, Nagano

Received the Glico Award at the Pretty Girl Museum2 audition held in 2011. Moved to Tokyo when she entered junior high school. After taking lessons in dancing, singing and acting, she made her debut in 2016 in Eki Stage A (Ace). She actively performs LIVE activites and from 2021 she started to properly work as an actress.

Sailor Chibimoon/Chibiusa

Chise Niitsu

Q: What do you remember of being selected to be part of the Sailor Moon musicals?

When I went to the audition for the first time, it was the winter of my last year in kindergarten, so only 6 years old. That audition was for Chibi Chibi and when I was asked what my special skill is, I remember saying it was doing tricks with a ball and I started doing it lol. I was so happy when I passed was chosen to play Chibi Chibi! And now that i'm 12 years old, I'm really excited to play Chibiusa!

Q: If you ever have to fight villains like Sailor Moon and her friends, what would be your fighting style?

When I'm around town, I take notice of the license plates of the cars and phone numbers written on signboards of different shops and create them into mathematic formulas and solve them! I find it very enjoyable. Even in math class, I feel very accomplished when I understand a difficult problem. I once heard that "mathematics is connected to the mysteries of the universe". Because of that, if I were to fight evil, I would like to fight them with mathematics! I would challenge them by giving them complex figures and formula problems!

Q: A few words about the character you play.

My beloved Chibiusa, who I admire since she is adorable, strong and brave. Like Chibiusa, I will never give up no matter how small I am! With these strong feelings, I want to do my very best in singing, dancing, and acting to play Chibiusa on stage to the fullest!

Born 23th of May, Tokyo

She made her debut when she 4 years old in the musical Miss Saigon. She played Chibi Chibi in the Sailor Moon musical, Le Mouvement Final. She is part of the music unit Foorin. She is active in my other ways such as, the movie 3-gatsu no Lion (March Comes In Like a Lion), and NHK show Come Come Everybody.

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astro-royale · 1 year ago

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「Elvis Presley: Moon+Venus sign analysis

Hello my Royalties (followers of my blog will now be referred to as Royalties) because you’re a one of a kind STAR (Astro means star) ;))

Have you guessed I have a Leo in Venus placement…

I will be starting a series where I will be analysing the moon + venus signs of male celebrities and their dating track record..

I believe by doing so we can truly understand certain placements and we can learn how to now interpret them not just metaphorically but quite literally in our personal lives.. we can learn what to stay away from, potentially save our lives. Or we can find our best match

And what better way to start than with the King of Rock n Roll… Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley was a Pisces Moon with A Capricorn Venus…

Now the moon sign in a man’s chart tells us what kind of personality a man is typically drawn to

And the venus sign informs us on preferences in regards to appearance…

His Pisces moon in 2 degrees of Taurus indicates he had a preference for mysterious, withdrawn and shy women, women which seem to be in need of protection.

The 2 degrees in taurus also points to women who can easily be possessed as well as women who he could easily secure and guide, women that he could invest in.

Which is definitely very true as he is known for his questionable relationship to Priscilla Presley. He pretty much guided her into being his “perfect girl” , shaping her personal style, taste in music, what she wore.. and she was pretty much hidden in his home for a big part of their relationship until they got married.

Even with his other girlfriends, they were all very easily influenced and able to manipulated and shaped due to their young age, which goes back to that 2* degrees Taurus of stability and investing into something so it grows over time… a little creepy but yeah I’m pretty much just quoting history.

I was inspired to write this post because I have recently watched a series on Prime with his ex girlfriends talking about their experience of him which made me want to ,,, look at his chart.

The 2* in taurus also points to women from the countryside or women with very simple backgrounds which again is very true in his case… and for his girlfriends which had a bit more status, well they were usually involved in some kind of art but SPECIFICALLY singing with that Taurus because Taurus rules the throat. And that was again true.

Now his capricorn venus shows us that he would prefer a mature look on a woman in terms of her style, women wearing leather and dressed in darker shades, also somewhat traditional, also preference for a darker hair colour.

Example: He made Priscilla dye her hair so it was darker

With this placement being in 29 degrees in Leo it does have a grandiosity to it, okay, so this could mean women with grande hairstyles (Priscilla was really known for that beehive). And the 29 degrees in Leo also points to colours that really stand out even if they were in darker shades, it could just be colours with depths to them like purple, blues etc and it could also mean mixing shiny details with darker colours, like gold on black and so on. Which ya know, Elvis was quite notorious for his flashy outfits,,

Priscilla did state that despite her being underage, Elvis would make her wear mature and sexy clothes. Well.. that goes back to that 29 degrees in Leo. There’s a big contrast between that Capricorn venus and Leo degree because it denotes that he likes a woman who embodies traditional values but still appears flashy and is in the spotlight.

Hey guys! Please keep in mind a lot of time and energy goes into this research :) I love being able to share it with everyone and I want to keep sharing my knowledge unconditionally which is why I haven’t created a Tumblr+.

Consider supporting me by booking a Tarot Reading or leaving a tip by clicking the Tip Button

IG: astr0royale

I also do pick a card readings on YouTube and it would mean the world if you checked that out

Thank you and much love to you all.

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pinkyjulien · 1 year ago

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So- I just had my first Phantom Liberty "ending"... 👁👄👁 I had a lot of thoughts, might be messy and long

⚠ Spoilers ahead, obviously!

Holyshit. HGFHGHFH Where do I even START

I smelled it coming FROM MILES AWAY-- OF COURSE So Mi was somehow- tied to AI, tied to the blackwall, it SMELLED TOO STINKY FROM THE START! Holyshit

Going to share my live reactions that I had in my dev friend's DMS cause those were the raw reactions ghfhgf

I took Reed's side during the Kurt meeting

Of COURSE it would go to shit tho like- man OF COURSEEE she would know...

The Kurt boss battle made me sweat, that man s'quick! AND THE MUSIC... Always felt like it was tied to the voodoo boys somehow? Tho the vibes makes sense, considering it's kind of theeee Blackwall theme-ish

When Reed talks about getting against MaxTac my jaw dropped like-- ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW.......

Also special kudo for this lil thing here I was really happy

Then came the battle against MaxTac- AND AGAIN... What a battle, I legit can't say right now which big fight I prefered outta the whole EP cause they were all so good

The game SLOWLY BUT SURELY got more and more spooky, into straight up TERRIFYING, I did NOT expect that at all, holyfuck!

And it worked SO WELL TOO, of COURSE anything tied to the blackwall would be horrifying

I LOVE horror- horror movie, horror games... But I don't like playing them 🤠✋ Because I'm a lil pussy HGFH who jump, who look away, who let go of the mouse when spooky thing happen

So LET ME TELL YOU When I started to grasp where the game was heading, I shat myself full time

Everything was PERFECT... The vibes, the lights, the set up, the sound design- the music, the different scenes/memories triggering over the place as you progress, just- fucking CHEF KISS

When I thought it couldn't get any better, any spookier- the game kept on delivering, somehow

It got really dark, stressful, gory, haunting

I decided to kill So Mi at the end

Seeing moments of So Mi's past, of how she got there- it was hard to not feel for her, even tho I never really trusted her, too many red flags and manipulation, V was just a token in achieving what she wanted, just like Myers was, just like Kurt was. But she didn't deserves to be kept as a pupet, a tool

The ride with Reed made me feel really numb, and so did the talk with Myers. Sittin with Reed and watchin him walk off in the distance....

I feel empty ghfhgf that one ending didn't felt satisfying at all- BUT I don't mean it in a bad way!! I like it, I think this was supposed to feel like this! So Mi is dead, whatever hope you had to deal with the Relic died with her, Reed wanted to save her, Myers NEEDED her alive- it's a miracle V can even walk it off freely even

-bear with me here as I'm gathering my thoughts as I type everything-

Little tidbits now, I didn't played through all of the new gigs either, so I'm going back to do these, as well as try all the other endings!

Sadly as expected, not a lot- if anything- new for us nomads lover 😞 I liked the cameo of Panam and Carol, sending Paco and Babs to the Aldecaldos to get out of DTown felt comfy too, as well as all the dialogue options! It felt nice to get those opportunities to bring our past! And we did get some crumbs of interesting lore

God and like- what I like the most in games are the Characters, and PL is up there with some amazing peeps! I'll try to rank them from most to least liked

Starting with Alex, probably my favorite of the 5 main! There were a lot of good moment with her, she felt the most... genuine? Might be naive, but I love good hearted, honest characters, and she felt the more "human" out of the bunch even if she did and does horrible things

Second place comes Kurt, man knows what he want and how to get it, can respect that. Wished we could learn more on him actually, maybe I missed a lot of content

Reed was interesting, too secretive for my taste- and that's normal duh he's a spy, but as expected I didn't felt too connected ( and just to be CRYSTAL CLEAR, that doesn't mean he's a bad character! Not vibing with a character doesn't mean they're badly writen or built)

SongBird started off STRONG at the top of my list, but the more she sugarcoated and smooth-talked V into helped her, the more a lot of red flags started to pop. Lot of lines reminded me of similar convo I had IRL with people that turned out to be shitty, so it send off alarms in my head 💀 NOPE...

and finally Myers, who I never trusted and rightfully so

All of them are incredible characters, made me parano on who to trust, who to believe

All of the minor NPCs are so memorable too? I absolutly loved Slider, the voodooboy dude? His design was insane! Loved meeting all of the different peeps during Kurt's party too, and LIZZY'S CONCERT??? AYO... Was simply incredible

This getting PRETTY LOOOONG I'll stop right here but yeah, raw thoughts after 3 days/nights of non stop playing 😩✋ UGGH...

Fucking love this game man. You can really see CDPR took their time with it, fucking nailed it too... Letting go of the last console gen was a good choice, Dogtown is gorgeous, all the visual effects are breathtaking--

I gotta STOP TALKING LMAO. ALRIGHT Back to it I go

AND. I will definitely rollback to a pre-PL save and continue the vanilla content, cause I feel like doing PL just before meeting Hanako gives a lot of interesting options :3

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Phantom Liberty #PL Spoilers #Spoilers #Text #Long post #REALLY Long post #CP77 Replay

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broadcastbabe · 11 months ago

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We have come to the conclusion that working as a team, we had a much better chance at personal gratifications… than pitted against each other for your affections. You wanted a contest between us, to outdo the other in a sexual girl fight. Hard limits would be forgotten and boundaries crossed in our pursuit of top honors for your undivided attention in your bed. It worked for awhile… taking turns, witnessing the techniques of our opponent, then trying to make the next round sexier, more creatively outre, more deviant to cater to your tastes. Ultimately, you want variety and the tag-team seemed to be one short-sighted solution.

Tonight, the gals are doing it our way. When you and I return from our stroll in a nearby park, where I have been ravaged in a public gazebo under the stars, she is waiting. We recount our undiscovered and unseen adventures in great detail… my surprise lingerie attire for a barrier-free encounter once you had opened the heavy ermine coat… my shameless moaning, meant to attract voyeurs to our escapade, while you feasted between my thighs in preparation for the coup d’gras. I am always juicy and dripping, but you crave the taste of me on your lips while I am being penetrated relentlessly in the pursuit of mutual orgasms.

She is intrigued and topless, toying with her nipples, while we relive the recent glories and paw at each other affectionately. You are already eyeing her impatient display with a desire now evident in your trousers. You suggest your thirst needs requenching, a palette cleanser to move on to her ‘next’ status in line. She disappears briefly and returns with two large glasses of wine, suggesting she and I will share one, while you indulge yourself with her charms. We take turns sipping, winking at each other conspiratorially, anxious to put our plan in motion. She takes the luxurious coat from my shoulders and drapes it across a divan. Reaching around from behind, she removes my front closure bra to level the playing field, she locks eyes with you and takes my bosom in her hands to caress, while you watch with a new alertness. Rolling my eyes with lusty approval, she toys with my tender nipples until they are as stiff and ruby colored as her own. Our breathing has synchronized in an escalated harmony, and you are compelled to massage the growing mass in your lap as her hands travel to breech my lace thong. My familiar moans fill the room as her slender fingers knead me in slow rotations under the lace. I pull them down past my rump, and they shimmy to the floor to expose this breach of regular conduct… and me. My moans become throatier, slipping an octave, as we both squirm in our spooning position. You seem to be holding your breath, when I pivot to face her and suckle on her breasts with a hunger that sets off her own gratified music. She seats herself upon the ermine while I straddle her, rump up, to allow you a clear view of her busy fingers, attending to my increasing needs. They rhythmically disappear inside me, while I nurse at her plumped heaving breasts, obviously enjoying my feast tremendously. Stunned and realizing your petty little competition has severely limited the scope of your sexcapades, you invite yourself into the melee and hover closer to observe. Your hand makes contact with my derrière as it wags and bobs and offers a polishing of its firm roundness, ending with a half-hearted spank. I shudder and announce my nearness to cumming and you both double-down on your manipulations; by adding another finger to stretch me wider and your more punitive slaps to my crimson rump. I surrender to my body’s reflexes and howl with delight for the second time this evening. Joining in the chorus, like a triggered wolf pack, we give voice to our newly discovered collaborative configuration. You sandwich me between you two to share in the quivering of my multiples that come fast and furious in succession. She is bearing the weight at the bottom beneath us, but is still able to murmur a deserved request as she licks the dew from her fingertips. “Think I’m owed the next few rounds…”

#girlz

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weebsinstash · 2 years ago

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Not really sure what genre music you like, but honestly Cannibal by Neathan Apollo makes for a good Val x defiantReader song, recommend it as a listen :>

I've always had a weird relationship with music because I kind of grew up online so a lot of music tastes have been stumbled onto. Like unironically I love the music meme megamixes that switch tracks every few seconds or kind of joke around with certain chord progressions, or they like, mash-up video game music with popular artists.

Before we move on to some of my ideas, this song, right! It can almost apply to either Reader OR Val if you think about it, because from a toxic narcissists perspective Valentino may also consider you to be a sort of little manipulator capable of pulling his strings, but the line that jumps out at me is

"Time for my confession

You're toxic but infectious

You feed off my attention

Well? Starve"

I constantly think about, like, if Reader is just, someone who at least tries to be a nice person if it isn't as natural. And maybe Val gets a little too cozy and comfortable with how polite and sweet you are, running little errands for him, bringing him food and drinks when he asks, seeming to listen closely with interest and dedication when he speaks, and one day he fucks up. Maybe he's been teasing you yet it's nothing too awful but one day he mocks you in front of others about something you're insecure about and he can just see the shift in your expression, and from then on you're like night and day. You quietly set his drinks down and walk away instead of making eye contact and smiling and asking if he wants anything else. He texts you to fetch him something, and someone else brings it in your stead (maybe you even outright paid them because you didn't want to see the Overlord THAT bad)

One of those real "didn't know what you had until it was gone" kind of scenarios where maybe he starts getting pissy because he tells himself you're just having an awful attitude or being an ungrateful brat for no reason and he has no idea "what he did". I imagine he wouldn't take it very well. I can see him trying to crack a joke or make a comment that normally would have at least made you fake laugh and you just glance at him, say nothing, and look back to your phone, gritting his teeth before asking you what your fucking problem is, making it confrontational, and any further sass you display counts against you. The real salt in his wounds is if he catches you being nice and doing things for someone else that you used to do for him, because then he's getting fucking jealous and possessive and god forbid if you're trying to date someone during this time period, they will go missing, Val doesn't really want you dating anyone period anyways. Even if he is so much as keeping you as a groupie or a servant, you're still "his" and he doesn't like to share without some incentive

((As a side note can I piss and moan that tumblr made some sort of adjustment again and now I can't put anything in italics or bold without it doing it to the entire paragraph because it is so fucking annoying, why is it doing this???? Is it this new phone? I use italics a lot in my writing and this is so fucking obnoxious 😩 i basically can't use italics or bold anymore AT ALL without redoing it over and over and over and at some point i just give up)

But moving on to my suggestions, as someone who likes to get stoned and listen to music while I do my not-actually-writing writing-adjacent daydreaming, I've kind of found few songs that I think of stories for? Actually I found a really good one literally within the last I think two days? I was listening to Just A Waste by PinkPantheress and realized it fits a lot of the concepts and ideas I've had for a hazbin based Reader, while also having a very funky synthy vibe like the time period Valentino is from

How'd it ever get so wrong? Crying on the floor of a washroom stall (working at the club as a waitress only being able to really cry in the bathroom)

You don't know where I'm from, Don't know how I got here but I'm all alone (self explanatory and also works for ideas for a Reader who doesn't know how they died)

I've been waking up as lonely as I did before (works for a Reader who was depressed n shit before death)

A line from the second verse hits harder with "I never asked to be driven away in a foreign car, 'cause the bus will take me just as long, and now I gotta sleep with the lights still on now" like, this is peak, it fits so well. You took his help because you were scared and vulnerable but you really didn't have a choice in context, being freshly dead and alone and confused and panicking, and he was just RIGHT THERE, but after you're in his clutches you realize how dangerous and foolish it was and how maybe risking it on your own would have been as equally unsafe

I also tend to have just. Plotless "Reader getting frustrated and singing" sort of ideas which fits into, the vibe of Hazbin, they do just kind of break out into song, it's a cartoon, but also who doesn't vibe out to music and think of someone belting out to it? So sometimes I also think of the ever so elusive Male Reader, maybe you're kinda on the downlow, making yourself kind of boring and uninteresting because why would you try to stand out when your boss is a horny pansexual sex trafficker, and eventually enough little jabs and comments get under your skin and it's like "oh what, you want me to bounce my ass and shake my hips, put on a little show for you? Bitch I was a musician, I did this shit professionally, i could do this shit in my sleep" and you drop a bop or two or three where you're sassy and snapping your body to the beat just because you're frustrated and tired of being mocked and its like "whoops you kind of just dropped a really high quality performance out of basically rage and outed yourself as a potential asset he can use", this of course being intensified if you were lucky enough to get those Alastor esque showman powers where you can essentially summon little shadow goonies who love doing what you say/etc

Angel and Reader getting into it and Reader all "oh what, you think pole dancing is hard? Maybe 50 years ago, now white women taking yoga classes in strip malls learn that shit to be trendy, you aren't special" and Reader was like some pole dancing instructor in like a very sanitized downtown LA kinda way kwim and just to prove a point busts out some of the things they know and, oh joy there's Big V himself watching his two favorites getting catty with each other and enjoying it

Idk I just think of a lot of ideas involving music and dancing and things like that lol. Shit I've even been getting more into like drift phonk and more aggressive synthetic kind of music and sometimes I think of "imagine if Reader was waiting tables for Val and eas just secretly building some sort of massive career or online fame and one day Val is hanging out with his boyfriend and Vox has something on his phone playing and you just point like, 'oh hey that's my song, what do you like about it? I wanna come out with a new album but I'm looking for inspiration"

I guess this is kind of ultra specific but I also like the idea of like, Val clearly has no problem publicly mocking Vox and humiliating him, so I can just see like, Valentino shitting on Vox's taste in music, all "what, did a robot make that? How are you even supposed to dance to that? Cringe" and Reader is just kind of tired and annoyed with Mr big dick over here always pretending he has one over on other people and everything he likes is cool and everyone else is a loser, and you just, pop out of your seat and start shuffling, and if you remember the concept with Reader who can make their hair and or eyes glow, I like to think of Reader sort of pulsing on the beat, with all kinds of songs really. Imagine you're just trying to vibe on the dance floor at a club and your hips are swaying and light pulsing on the beat and it's like honey, your boss is a MOTH

I bet with Valentino it's a constant struggle depending on who you are. Trying to stay under his radar and not stand out too much but maybe needing some of his favor and protection where you at least need to be somewhat close to him. Not wanting his lust and possessiveness but maybe you're lonely or need some sort of acknowledgement you aren't completely worthless. Not wanting him to know you've got a specific talent but it being something so crucial to who you are that he finds out eventually, whether it's writing music or performing or dancing or writing or art or even skills that may help him in his criminal businesses like having magical powers or even having knowledge in chemistry or cooking drugs/making synthetics. Shit, I've even thought about a Reader who is a massage therapist or a chiropractor and next thing you know he has you becoming his personal "doctor", happy endings included.

#yandere stuff #sinprompts

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calyxthenerd · 10 months ago

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Now it’s time for the love languages post I promised a few days ago and was procrastinating writing

I will not attain myself to the main five because while they do exist I think everyone has unique ways of loving and those should also be considered

Sidenote: as it progresses into the side characters it becomes less about canon examples of things they do and more about how I see them in my head

So, Luna, Luna’s giving and receiving are both in the main five, her giving being physical touch, and I don’t think I need to give examples, since a scene is probably popping in your head right about now, as for her receiving, gift giving, the whole thing with her moon charm, it’s a gift that symbolizes the love she hoped her birth parents felt for her (they did), the ring Matteo gave her and she refused to stop wearing, even while she was angry with him, and how distraught she got both times she lost it, Valiente, the song Simón gifted her, do I really need to go on?

Now, Ámbar, she is a tougher one, because how do you learn how to love when you are raised by Sharon Benson? But her giving one is actually the way Sharon taught her, a little less manipulative and awful, but she protects those she loves, that’s why she didn’t tell anyone Sharon contacted her, while also trying to dissuade her from acting against the Valentes, the reason she ran into the house during the fire, to protect everyone from harm, why she pushed them away for so long, to protect them from herself. As for receiving, food, that may sound ridiculous, but think about it, who is the guy that she fell in love with? The one that saw her enough to notice her odd tastes and acted accordingly. Who was one the first people that she let into her heart and let see her as she is? The woman that had been cooking for her for years. How did she meet the girl she now proudly calls her cousin? While she was delivering her food, it may be a stretch but I stand by this

Next is Simón, his giving language is knowledge, the way he knows everything about Luna and notices shifts in the way she’s acting before even she knows something’s wrong, the way he knows Ámbar is particular about her food, that she was taught a lot of things, but never how to love and let herself be loved, he sees that and he works with it, the way he easily fills in the gaps on Nico and Pedro’s dynamic, knowing what they need, he observes, he listens and he knows, but receiving love? That doesn’t come as easy to him, he’s a giver, and seeing the people he cares about happy is enough, he receives loves through smiles, through celebratory hugs, through cheering, that is enough for him

Moving on to Nina, she writes her love, we can see with how she goes about supporting Luna, supporting Yam, the way she shows her feelings for Gastón, she’s a poet in prose. As for receiving? Reassurance, she’s had anxiety since she can remember, so she needs to be reminded that the people around her want her around, and who better to provide that than Luna “I love everyone and I will scream it out to the world if I asked” Valente and Gastón “I went onstage to sing my love for a girl who’s name I didn’t even know” Perida?

Matteo, Matteo loves loudly, he loves through his music, through the countless love songs he dedicated to Luna, through the music he shared with his friends during his time on the roller band, that’s why he was so energetic during Aquí Estoy, he got to make music with the person he loves the most in the world. Now, with receiving it’s simple, he needs the people he loves to trust him, we’ve seen what happens to him when they don’t, he shatters

Gastón, he loves with actions, be it physical affection, saving his best friend from that conversation he doesn’t want to have, asking said best friend to give his girlfriend a flower while he’s an ocean away, running across the city to catch the girl he’s in love with before she leave the country, helping his best friend dedicate a song to the girl he’s been whining about for almost a year, you pick. With receiving, he’s very similar to Simón, just existing and letting him love you is enough, but if you want to pull an uno reverse card and do something for him every now and then, he isn’t complaining

Ramiro, he loves through sharing, be it his performances with his favorite lesbians, being part of that team with Matteo, his unique passion for skating with Luna (everyone else has their own stuff) or just skating with everyone. He receives it through spending time together, but it can be anything, he can just be looking at someone do something, watching a movie together, accompanying them to the dentist, helping clean their house, anything goes, as long as it’s together

Jim loves through helping, be it doing your work with you, walking your dog, hearing you rant after a hard day, anything. And she will adore you forever if you say something reminded you of her, or if you recognize something that she worked hard on, she feels appreciated knowing you thought about her

Yam loves similarly to Nina and Matteo, with her art, be it her designs or her music, she loves showing it to the people she loves, creating with them, creating for them, and she feels loved when they recognize her talent and the work she puts on it

Emilia loves by bothering people, it’s kind of a test, if she cares enough to test your tolerance to her bullshit, it means she loves you, and if you stick around even so, she knows you love her too

I do not have enough content nor do I care enough to do Pedro, Nico, Jazmin or Delfi so that’s all

#soy luna #calyx writes

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valhala90 · 2 years ago

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Shall we date? Love Tangle, Valentin’s route.

ღ I played Love tangle for several years and I completed all of the routes, but I mostly complained about certain stories, so I decided to write something positive about the one that is, I guess, my favorite.

ღ With the introduction of Valentin they successfully lured me in, and I decided to gamble with premium content (you have to pay for it). He’s the type of character I usually love and I enjoyed his route (read it two times).

ღ If I were to make a short review of this story I would say that the plot is not spectacular, but the writing is decent, at least decent enough to make you want to spend money, and, overall it is a fun ride. The chemistry between MC and him was on point and even though some plot details were iffy, particular lines and their process of falling in love were great. There were unexpected moments, and the usual tropes that are heavily used (and abused) in otome/dating sim games were cleverly manipulated into serving the storyline.

ღ Now, I think that the best ending (supreme ending) could have been more impactful, but that is easily digested since you're rewarded for your invested time. Besides, maybe you'll find Happy Ending more to your taste, like me. CGs are stunning. Valentin is quite fleshed out as a character, and to my wonder, so is MC. While the details of her work and background remain the same in every route, her personality changes to complement LIs, and this doesn't change here either, but in order to capture Valentine's attention, she needed to be the kind of woman who is able to keep up with his stubbornness and playfulness, but also be strong enough to be his support and voice of reason (minus the few common-otome MC behaviors here and there). So I guess you could say that the MC is as good as the LI. Overall rating: 4,5 ⭐

The rest of this long post is a detailed analysis of Valentin's route. Don't read further if you don't want spoilers.

Spoilers ahead❣

ღ So, in order to talk about his stroy, I have to get to it, lol. First 4 chapters are a common route between Valentine and Lex, and with your choices you decide which one you want MC to date.

♡ Common route ♡

ღ Right from the start, the story grabs your attention, when MC (I left the assigned name, Julia Darwin) meets Scadoxus's vocalist (Valentin) by accident and doesn’t realize it, talking about how great their songs are. At the same time, Lex is introduced as a firefighter of a few words, and MC gets to see him in action in the event involving arson of celebrity homes. There is also a mysterious little girl appearing at the arson scene.

ღ Also, I find it refreshing that Valentin doesn’t live in friggin’ Lilac Court. I’m sick and tired of everyone living there. MC shares this opinion, lol.

ღ Since Valentin’s home is in the vicinity of the arson, MC decides to check on him. Because she doesn’t know where he lives, she returns to the bar where Ryan works, hoping to meet him again. He brushes her off like- girl if I was hurt I wouldn’t be here drinking. You jumped to the conclusion quickly 😂 He heard about the fire from the people he works with and doesn’t intend to go back to his place, even though it’s undamaged. Some of the fans spread rumors that he lives in that area and he doesn’t want his privacy to be constantly invaded.

Valentin’s like, you see why I drink?

ღ MC is praising Scadoxus and Valentin again, but she’s praising their work. That’s the key difference that separates her from most of the (looney) fans. You can actually see how she cares about songs and is not just there to stare at him because he’s a star. She talks to him like a normal person, and because of that Valentin is interested in her. He takes great pride in his music without coming across as an arrogant celebrity. Music is his life, literally. (Remember that).

ღ I really liked how they instantly bonded because of the passion they put into their work, and when he gets excited like a little kid (in contrast to the harsh/playful/ cynical mask he wears) because he too, loves Kaleido leopards.

ღ MC is like, wanna see pics of the cute leopard babies? I think it’s one of the most relatable things I’ve read 😂 I show pics of my pets to everyone.

ღ He tells her he wants to hear more about K. leopards and in turn, he promises to give her tickets for their performance/show. MC is a bit shy and Valentin convinces Ryan to come with her so she doesn’t back out. When she gets back home, Lex is there and they talk about the arson case. He’s worried about her and MC quickly changes her mind about him (she believed he would be someone hard to get along with). They have a pleasant chat and he nicknames her “Leopard mama.” 🤣

ღ A few days later, when she has to go to the show, Ryan can’t make it and sends someone else to fill in for him, and it’s quickly revealed to be Lex. MC enjoys the thrilling performance of Scadoxus and Lex becomes a new fan. He can't join her visiting backstage ‘cause he has to go to work.

ღ MC goes backstage and finds Valentine sick, almost collapsing. He's trying to change the subject and talk about literally anything but his health. He even shouts at her at one point to stop asking him what's wrong and apologizes, dragging her to a "fun place," which turns out to be a party room/chamber of some hotel. The crowd is full of celebrities, and he performs a song, dedicating it to MC. But before that, he introduces her as his partner for the night to prevent strangers coming on to her. MC loses her shit and I don't blame her.

ღ The scene fades to black (white actually?), and she wakes up in a hotel room. She's naked and feels someone beside her. A picture says a thousand words.

ღ He teases her about spending the night together and what they did since she can't remember, and he's giving her vague answers when she asks what exactly happened. I didn’t expect it, to be honest. Then, Valentine's like "a secret for a secret" - Keep your mouth shut about my health and I'll keep my mouth shut about last night.

ღ Since we’re following Valentin’s route, MC decides not to ask about his health and pry into his life. She's concerned, but keeps her mouth shut. But she says, for now, implying that she will ask him in the future. Valentin is like, that time won't come, you're late for work, and laughs when she prepares in a hurry. Shit at work is happening, where a Kaleido leopard attacked a baby leopard, and all of them are puzzled why.

ღ Lex jumps out as soon as she gets home from work, worried about her not returning last night. MC tells him that she was at work, and quickly returns to her apartment, feeling guilty for lying to him. The following day at work, she noticed some of her stuff missing. Timo is on it, but nobody fesses up. While she goes to replace the book that was stolen, she encounters the same little girl she saw at the arson scene. The girl wanders around town while her mother works. MC wants to buy her something to eat and they encounter Lex. Julia quickly explains that it's the same girl from the fire scene that occurred the other day. He buys them something to eat and they have small talk until the little girl dozes off. MC comments on how Lex is good with children. He shares the reason why he became a firefighter, (he wants to protect people's smiles). All of a sudden, the mother of the little girl shows up screaming without giving them a chance to explain and brushes off child negligence like it's nothing, and goes full Karen with the threat to call the police. MC and Lex comment on how sad and fishy the situation with the mother and the child is.

ღ When MC comes home, Dean (a police officer, also has his route) informs her that she's one of the suspects because she was seen at the fire and arson scene. He doesn't believe in it, but someone reported her, and he warns her to be careful because he suspects that someone wants to ruin her reputation. Lex tries to cheer her up by cooking her a meal. Now, since we're following Valentine's route, the answer for him is to refuse, which makes sense a bit since they've just eaten, but this is a common route and we have to have Lex's premium moment. They go to buy the ingredients and chat about food and how bottomless their stomachs are. It's actually cute. Premium content is them cooking together and the good ol' "you have something on your face, let me wipe it for you." It's full of chemistry which initially led me to believe that Lex's route will be great as well, but it was overshadowed by Valentin’s.

ღ The next day, Ryan encounters MC before she goes to work and hands her the envelope with the concert ticket from Valentin. MC struggles to accept because of the work (the incident with the adult leopard attacking the baby leopard) and is not in the mood because of someone reporting her to the police. Just when Ryan asks if she has other plans, she remembers how sick Valentin was backstage. The worry over him wins, and she accepts. During the performance, MC wonders which one is the real Valentin- the energetic star who gives an exhilarating performance every time he's on the stage or the frail, sick man who's falling apart when the lights go out.

ღ She hesitantly goes backstage and Valentin greets her cheerfully, hugging her and calling her his lady luck. He's quick to invite her to go with him to another party and after a moment of hesitation, MC agrees (the choice is either to go with him or go home). She's like, if you don't mind me coming, then I accept, and this guy... this guy... oh you.

ღ VIPs are at the party, Valentine's making a move on MC, and frankly, she doesn't resist since she's captivated by his charisma and presence (not to mention how handsome he is). They hold hands and she has a thought about how they look like a couple, although she's not delusional and believes it's a spur of the moment for him. She also is suspicious of his energetic behavior, even considering that it was just a temporary thing with him getting ill that time, until a mysterious man approaches her. He's a bit rude and insists on her telling him if Valentin was acting strange since he assumes she’s someone of trust. She breaks ultimately, and shares the backstage incident. The man abruptly leaves, but not before saying that there isn't much time left. Julia overhears whispers about the man, and he’s identified as Valentin's doctor, Silvan. She can't sleep a wink thinking about the warning, although Valentin denied his health being bad.

ღ MC finally has a breakthrough concerning Kaleido leopards and works overtime. On her way home, she passes by the area where the fire occurred. All of a sudden, a guy approaches her asking a bunch of questions. She’s cautious and gets relieved when Lex appears. The man simply vanishes, leaving MC more confused than she was under the barrage of questions. You are offered to choose one of the options either to look around for the man or to go back to Lex, and the correct option is to search for the guy. Lex calls out to MC and they quickly exchange thoughts about why both of them are there. They were concerned about the little girl and wanted to see if she was around. Another cute moment between them.

ღ Lex calls Dean to report the guy who asked MC all those questions. Dean already knows about him and suspects him. Lex gets aggravated because he wants Julia to be clear of suspicion and asks Dean to do something about that guy. MC thinks that the guy who approached her doesn't have to do anything with the arson.The next day, she doesn't have to work because it's a holiday, and Ryan asks her to deliver Valentin his watch, since he forgot it in the bar. MC goes to the hotel where Valentin’s staying to also get an update about his health. She knocks on the door but Silvan opens it. As usual, he's blunt and tells her to convince him to get surgery or he will die.

ღ Valentin is angry and tells Silvan to get lost, not knowing that Julia is there too. Once she makes her presence known, he quickly gets out of bed but is too late to hide his meds. Julia confronts him about his health, and he gives up on excuses telling her it's not a big deal, just heart disease. He's trying to make her leave, but she is stubborn, telling him to undergo the surgery.

And by that he meant sex.

ღ I agree not the best scenario, but keep in mind that he wants to cause a shock and turn himself into a bad guy, because he's desperate and wants to be left alone. MC backs off but tells him that she won't give up on convincing him about the surgery. Just as she leaves the hotel depressed, she spots Lex with a huge bouquet in his hands. She concludes that he's searching for the cemetery.

ღ This is where you encounter a fork in the road, and based on your choices you chose the route where you have the biggest relationship build-up. Valentin's route starts from here, meaning every chapter is focused on him and their relationship.

💜 Valentin’s route 💜 ღ MC decides to fully focus on work, but is interrupted by a fire alarm. Paul comes to get her, informing her that the fire started somewhere in the conservation area and that they evacuated the animals, except for the animals in the treatment facility. MC doesn't think and rushes to save the baby leopard. Lex is there to stop her on time before she hurts herself. Julia gets into a fight with Lex because she doesn't want to abandon the poor animal. Lex pushes her to safety and promises to save the baby leopard. The fire is extinguished with minimal damage. Baby leopard got saved by Lex, but he got hurt.

ღ MC feels incredibly guilty, and Dean reassures her that Lex was doing his job and that he will pull through. He says she shouldn't apologize but instead thank him. Dean shares information that they conducted an investigation and that the fire at her work was deliberately caused, meaning another case of arson. However, he's not sure if the cases are connected. The following day, Timo orders MC to go to a check-up in the hospital because she was exposed to a lot of smoke. She notices Valentin, but decides not to chase after him (the right choice). Just as she was watching him leave, her name gets called by the doctor, and surprise, surprise (not really) it's Silvan. He recognizes her as the girl who's constantly with Valentin. Julia thinks it's a perfect opportunity to ask him what's wrong with him, but Silvan refuses to share confidential information, except to warn her that Valentin doesn’t have much time left. (Geez, thanks).

ღ When she gets back to Lilac Court, Lex is there. MC is glad that he is in good health. They talk about the arson at her workplace, to which Lex replies that there was a series of arsons around the city and that he thinks they all might be connected.

ღ Julia can't stop thinking about Valentine's health. After a tense workday, she visits the bar Ryan works at, in hopes of asking him about Valentine's health. Valentine happens to be there (a happy coincidence (¬_¬)) and MC reaches out to take away his drink. Ryan promptly escapes the awkward situation, to serve other customers. Valentine immediately tells her it's none of her business what he does, and to stop interfering in his life. But she stands her ground, and insists on him telling her the truth. He's too weary to fight her and tells her that she's the pushiest girl he's ever met. He admits that he has a serious heart disease that only surgery can cure, but he's not doing it.

ღ MC is confused and asks about the reason, but he simply replies that he doesn’t want to be absent from his next performance. Julia still doesn't understand (don’t blame her), and tells him that he can have as many performances as he wants once he recovers, but Valentin insists that the next performance is very important and could not be canceled. He's prepared to die for it, literally. They argue and yell at each other. MC tears up because she's frustrated and doesn't understand what he wants to prove. He tells her to stop trying to understand and just follow the show. MC acknowledges that he made a decision knowing full well that his next performance could be his last. She cries silently, feeling helpless, when he suddenly hugs her.

Which she did, when she rushed in to save the baby leopard. He points out how they have that in common. MC understands him a tad better.

ღ Moses asks her if something was bothering her, the following day at work. She mentions the arson, although she's thinking about Valentin. He advises her to be more careful and to take seriously the theft of her belongings, not beating around the bush and telling her that someone at work is out to get her. He also thinks that that person was behind the fire.

ღ Julia is in an awful state, barely sleeping. In the morning, Lex tells her that he heard on the news about the Scadoxus breaking up. MC is in disbelief after the passionate speech Valentin delivered at the bar. She reads about it in the newspaper where it's basically written how fame got to Valentin's head and how he's constantly clashing with the band members. When she gets to work, she smells the smoke again. Moses stops her and says that the fire was caught on time and extinguished by cleaning staff. This time, her mailbox was targeted. Timo, Moses, and Paul talk with her and agree that she's not safe at work.They want to contact the police and stop her from working with K. leopards. She disagrees with them, thinking how Valentin is willing to put his life on the line to do what he loves and she wants to do the same. That was the whole point of her coming to work there and feels like she shouldn't stop because she's in the middle of writing her thesis on why the attack on the baby leopard happened. They accept her decision and ask her to be extra careful (no shit) and promise that the security will be increased.

ღ She's returning home a bit later than usual (the bitch doesn't learn does she? But it's okay because it's premium scene moment) and walks faster to get home asap, but the scene starts turning into one of those from low-budget horror movies, where a shadowy figure is walking towards her. Since the premium moment is announced with a preview, the mystery element is absurd and wasted. Still, MC tries to flee and falls tripping on a flat surface (oh my god). The stranger (who was walking like Michael Myers) touches her shoulder and his face is illuminated by moonlight (but the background is a well-lit street so fuck that) revealing Valentin (surprise!). He tells her to stay quiet 'cause he's escaping the paparazzi and gives her his hand to help her get up. However, when she tries to do so, Valentin stumbles and falls. He lets out a painful groan, clutching his heart. She hurries to help him and he embraces her. CG is unbelievably good at conveying the moment, kudos.

ღ He doesn't acknowledge that he's having another attack (so stubborn), saying that he's only tired, but thankfully MC doesn't buy that shit. She's like- shut up, you're coming to my place. He tells her to mind her own business (yeah buddy you're kinda dangling there on her shoulder) and she replies that he should stop acting tough. She drags him to her place and throws him on places him on her bed, and after he takes his medicine, he feels a bit better. He's acting all sassy and asks her if she often brings guys into her room but MC denies it because she's not that kind of girl (not that kind of giiiirl) and her inner thoughts cracked me up, she's like I hope nobody saw me dragging him to my room.

(but someone must see because of the plot)

ღ He finally opens up to her and tells her that he doesn't know his father. His mother never cared about him and was a shitty parent. She jumped from one guy to another, and they were poor. He says he understands somewhat her desire to survive at any cost (no, baby no) and admits he barely went to school and loitered around the city at night, but all of that changed when music entered his life. He met a person who gave him hope for the future. The man discovered his talent and helped him to become what he is today. He taught him how to play instruments and how to compose. Without that person, he wouldn't exist. He feels forever indebted to his savior. He also says that his father figure was a part of a famous band and they only had a one-hit-wonder. Valentin regrets not listening to his advice, since he turned into a jerk when he became somewhat famous. The scene is heartbreaking because he sits on Julia's bed, still breathing laboriously, holding back tears of remorse. He confesses how he insulted not just his mentor, but the only person who cared about him, telling him that he is not a one-hit-wonder like he was. After that, he left, forming Scadoxus, and gaining worldwide fame. But guilt is a big part of his life. It ate away his health, too.

ღ It's most unfortunate that even with his influence and funds, he couldn't find a way to reconnect with his mentor, that is, until recently, by a stroke of luck. His mentor promised that he will show up at his next concert, so that is the reason behind Valentin's conviction- to perform at any cost. Naturally, the reason is not as superficial as it may seem, because he's hoping for a chance to ask for forgiveness and say just how grateful he is. He wants to show him everything he taught him, by giving the best performance of his life. Julia comprehends his motives, but still, she feels like he shouldn't perform, even after his heartfelt confession. Instead of voicing her dissatisfaction, she asks if the rumors about Scadoxus disbanding are true, to which he briefly replies that they are false. Though, he admits they are quarreling about his health because his band members couldn't understand his reasons, much like MC couldn't in the beginning. MC bites her tongue. She affectionately states that she wants him to live and not suffer anymore.

ღ He teasingly asks her if she fell for him, to which she replies that he should be serious because she was speaking sincerely. Valentin abruptly changes the subject and asks her to tell him more about her and her work. We came to the part where LI usually solves the problem MC has with her work, and the same formula applies here. Julia talks about the attack on the baby leopard. Valentin compares the situation with his when he was a child, saying that the male leopard probably attacked the baby because it was a nuisance. Whenever his mother got a new boyfriend, the guy would make sure to tell him to get lost. He advises her to bring another female leopard to reduce the tension. (I can't believe how an animal expert couldn't think of that for fuck's sake).

ღ The light bulb finally goes on in her head, and she's like, interesting, I shall see. She urges Valentin to sleep because she has to get up early for work. Valentin asks her if she has a problem with sleeping in the same bed, to which she replies she doesn't, because she already slept with him that time in a hotel. Valentin smirks and admits that nothing happened between them. She gets a bit upset (not that much really), but he embraces her and says that they can change that. When she says nothing he kisses her and they sleep together.

ღ MC wakes up early to drag Valentin out of her room, and from the prying eyes. Valentin comments how she's heartless to wake him up and kick him out, and they encounter Lex, naturally. Lex is baffled (gasping in Spanish gif) asking her what the heck is she doing with that guy from the band (his words), and she tries to come up with an excuse about the paparazzi (which is mostly true), he interrupts her to specifically voice his outrage because she brought a man into her room. 🙄

Valentin is like - so what? And buries the man.

When he tries to say they had sex too, Julia basically drags him away and says she's late for work and doesn't have time to talk, leaving Lex behind.

What a queen.

I'm kinda surprised she didn't go into the well-known MC pattern- blushing and stuttering and denying things so I'm kinda glad she was like- I have no time for this, it's my friggin' life.

ღ At work, she tries Valentin's suggestion and is so absorbed in watching the leopards' reaction that she forgets about everything, even eating. MC is really grateful to him and wants to pay him back somehow. Of course, the thing she wishes the most is to stop him from throwing his life away for music, and instead help him survive and create more. Despite feeling drained after work, she decides to go to the bar expecting Valentin to be there. Because she has some time to kill before the bar opens, she decides to search for the little girl she saw on the arson scene (the one who has a shitty-Karen mom). Instead, she finds the same guy that asked her all those questions. He seems to be investigating something. She's really suspicious of him and decides to follow him (Are you sure though? You trip on a flat surface). The guy suddenly stops because his phone rings and she overhears him mentioning Valentin. Despite common sense, she approaches him and asks about Valentin (what sound logic).

ღ The guy speaks to her in a friendly manner and she assumes she's safe (wow really? you're lucky he's also one of the dating characters). The guy questions her if she knows him, to which she replies vaguely. He gives her his card, and it's revealed that his name is Jonas and that he's a journalist freelancer. When they are about to talk some more about the little girl, Jonas suddenly gets a call. Before he runs off saying there was an emergency, he says to her to call him, especially because she's Valentin's friend.

ღ She finally comes to the bar, but Ryan says he didn't see him since noon. They are worried about him, and MC decides to call him. When MC can't reach him over the phone, she goes to his hotel room, knocks at his door, and calls out to him, but he's not answering. Panicked, she goes to the front desk, demanding the hotel staff to open his door, because she believes he passed out. The staff refuses (found this a bit odd, as someone who worked in a hotel if a guest's life is possibly in danger staff is obligated to call the room at least and check on the guest), so she calls the hospital in hopes of reaching Silvan. When she manages to contact him, she calls him to come to the hotel. Once he shows up, the staff agrees to open Valentin's door, since they saw Dr. Silvan making visits before. MC lies that she's his assistant in order to be allowed to enter too. Unfortunately, all her fears came true. Valentin is found unconscious in bed. Silvan does all he can to help him, and says that he will wake up soon. He explains to Julia that he passed out because he overdosed on heart medicine, taking double the amount of the prescribed dose, and is as savage as usual, calling him troublesome and ignorant, stating that he probably thought he would feel much better.

ღ MC stays with Valentin after Silvan leaves and breaks down. A tear falls on Valentine's cheek (it's cheesy a bit) and he wakes up, saying that he was dreaming of her. She briefly clarifies what happened. Valentin continues with his stubborn routine, saying that he knows his body the best and how much he can take before he dies. She snaps at him (go girl), shouting that he should let her help him and that she won't allow him to throw his life away, and that he's selfish. MC persists to beat it in his brain how he's a treasure to his fans, and that his life means more than he thinks. Deeply shaken, she clings to him and cries, but still continues with her endeavor to make him see the reality.

ღ This scene was so sad. I really loved MC's speech. Valentin is in disbelief and broken, repeating her words but not truly believing them. She says that he is important to her again and that if he continues to act stubbornly, he may lose his life before that concert, and that he's mistaking cause for an end, ultimately running away from the truth. He caresses her hair, his hand trembling.

ღ Just want to pause for a bit and say how much I appreciate the portrayal of Valentin. They perfectly captured many sides of him, tapping into his emotions and displaying him as a man who is strong, courageous, and confident but also stubborn and deeply flawed. He is shown as passionate and handsome, seductive, but also torn, broken, and afraid of his past and dealing with the mistakes he made. The tears he shed are probably my favorite part of this story because, yes, men can cry, and I see those tears as him finally being able to deal with the pain, anger, and guilt he carried for years.

My retelling doesn't do this beautiful and sad scene justice.

ღ Julia addresses his reason for taking too much medicine because she knows he's dealing with devastating pain, but that won't make it go away. The only thing he can do is undergo the surgery, and when he recovers he can ask for forgiveness from his mentor and show him and the rest of the world who the real Valentin Bloom is. After such a fiery speech, Valentin surrenders, kissing a lock of her hair. He asks if she'll wait for him to recover. When she says that she will, he delivers these lines and I'm not ashamed to admit that I fangirled.

She nearly ruined it with her inner thoughts "what does that mean" but I forgave her because of this chapter, and really, the whole story was worth my time and money. They share a passionate kiss.

ღ Julia is in the final stage of the leopard pairing experiment and is anxious about the results. If they are positive, her theory will be complete. She gets up earlier than usual and goes downstairs to grab a coffee from Josh, when he shows her the picture in the newspaper of her and Valentin. The article is rubbish since it's from a tabloid, and he warns her to be careful because she's now a target of the paparazzi. Valentin is not concerned about it when she gives him a call. She's worried that it will add additional stress now when he's preparing for surgery, but he reassures her that he's not upset, since the picture is true. He tells her to worry about K. leopards instead, and MC is touched by his clumsy attempt to show concern and interest in her work. He says the only thing that bothers him is the title because they called her a fling but she's not. MC starts to ask about their relationship but pauses, thinking how he never specified what they are or told her that he loves her (damn, girl he said that he would give you the rest of his life so idk what you want), but she's satisfied that he thinks of her more than just a fling. She decides to wait until after he recovers to talk about her feelings.

ღ Just as she exits Lilac court to go to work, a bunch of paparazzi waits in front of the gate. Lex calls out to her and wants to give her a ride to work. Julia feels a bit uncomfortable because of that morning when he saw her and Valentin, but accepts the offer, willing to clear things between them and not wanting to create more trouble for Valentin. Lex grabs her hand and they run to the parking lot. They manage to avoid the press, but the drive is filled with awkward silence. Lex breaks it and says he's not mad at her because he's her lover or anything similar, and her life is none of his business (oh my god, common sense, I nearly cried here). He asks her if she's serious about Valentin. She admits that she is and that she loves him. Lex asks her if he's serious about her and Julia hesitates, (HE PROMISED YOU THE REST OF HIS LIFE), remembering the phone call from the morning. She finally nods. Lex wishes her happiness as a friend and kisses her on the cheek. She returns the kiss, touched by his kindness. He's handling rejection like a champ, salute mate.

ღ The experiment with leopards is a success and she goes to report the results to Moses. She encounters Jonas with him. She's perplexed by the fact that he knows who she is and where she works. Moses fesses up that he knows Jonas and that they are old friends. Jonas ultimately exposes the motive behind his visit. He states that while he was gathering info about an investment fraud group, he found out that some of their members are fans of Valentin. He underlines that they are not merely "fans" but fanatic stalkers. One of them, a woman, is involved in a series of arson all over the city, while the other member, he's not sure who, works at the same workplace as MC. He warns her to be careful because she's dating Valentin, and MC has a Pikachu meme moment because she's shocked at how he knows that they are together (fucking tabloid newspaper kinda exposed you to everyone but okay).

ღ Basically, every shit that happened to Julia from the start is because of that individual. Jonas reported it to the police, but until they resolve it, Timo and Moses agree to keep an eye on her. I think the plot involving this background story is not well handled, considering that if you want a better, more satisfying answer, you will have to read both endings, and even then it’s not that good. I honestly was underwhelmed, kinda hoping for another incident that would be more life-threatening if not for MC, then for Valentin since they mentioned deranged stalkers, bit it’s smooth sailing from here to the end, and that is probably due to the lack of space to develop/untangle a better conclusion.

ღ Anyway, she's deeply concerned for Valentin since he doesn't have security in private, just when he works, especially because he likes to wander around as he pleases. (See why I expected someone to attack him? Why mention this if you’re not going to use it?) After work, she goes to visit the lounge bar (where Ryan works, their usual place), and waits for him at the boot table this time in the corner, since they are trying to be careful not to be seen together because of all the shit with the newspapers and paparazzi (to be clear, the only one who is worried is Julia, Valentin doesn't give a fuck. Also, I expected more of a nightmare treatment from the paparazzi).

ღ Valentin appears with Silvan and he greets her without the usual sarcasm. Julia is baffled about why he's there, but Valentin says he tagged along. Silvan thanks her for convincing Valentin to undergo surgery, and says that he's shocked that he listened to a girl and not a doctor (lol). He says that she's done her part and that now is his turn and that she must tell him how to change the minds of stubborn patients. All of a sudden, Valentin interrupts him and shoos him, telling confused Julia that he's trying to flirt with her. Silvan rolls his eyes and leaves.

ღ Funny thing is that Valentin is right 😂 I played Silvan's route, so it really is his way of flirting. I think he wanted to praise MC in his own way, because he began to like her, especially after performing a herculean task in convincing a stubborn, stubborn, stubborn guy like Valentin to do what is right for his health. Silvan is very passionate about saving lives and loves his job, which you can't tell because he hides behind bluntness and sarcasm. But that's the talk for his route (if I decide to do it).

ღ Valentin claims that he doesn't like him as a person, but knows how capable he is. Dunno man, you two seem pretty close 😅 Julia is just about to tell him about the warning Jonas gave her but changes her mind. She doesn't want to cause more stress, also we kinda need something for the finale. When he asks her why she called him and if something happened, she says that she missed him and wanted to see him. He's very happy and invites her to his room.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ღ As they cuddle on his bed, she asks him if he's afraid of the surgery. Since Silvan (he calls him quack) is involved, he says he has no reason to be afraid. He also delivers the lines I'm Iron MValentin Bloom. I'm not afraid of anything. Agreed, cheesy as fuck, but he's trying to comfort MC. The peacock moment is quickly subdued when he admits that he became a stronger person because of her. He proceeds to tell her how her presence in his life is irreplaceable and how she gives him the strength to face every day. He hopes to be a better person and that's why he needs her by his side (I count that as a second proposal, I don't care). He says a bunch of really romantic lines that managed to reach me as well, while we are given this premium route CG (CGs are insanely good, money well spent):

ღ Somehow, MC resists (I was annoyed, to be honest, I know it's because of the grand finale but still) after the fervent kisses because she's till worried about the fucking newspaper article/picture. Valentin continues to kiss her, saying that she doesn't have to worry, since they are in his room, but she's not sure. Why are you doing this to me? ༼ಢ_ಢ༽

ღ Valentin continues to charm the pants outta me because MC still tries to stop him even after he says when he's with her, he's not afraid of anything. She succumbs a bit and returns the kiss, but keeps insisting that they shouldn't go further because of his surgery. He reluctantly gets off her, asking if the quack told her that, and she adds that drinking is prohibited also. I kinda hopped for some inner thoughts where Valentin vows to punch Silvan or comment on how he's cock blocking him because he’s evil bastard. Instead, Valentin knows how to play it cool and be sassy and hot at the same time

They hold hands and MC reveals that she feels the same way about him, to which he replies they should continue to be together and give each other strength.

💜Supreme Ending 💜

ღ First things first, I already mentioned how I hoped for more from the best ending. Not that it's bad, but they kinda built me up only to mildly disappoint me. I wanted something more... idk emotional? I can say with certainty that I wanted a better culmination of the supporting story, simply because it has a large role in moving the plot and has dictated the circumstances for MC and Valentin. We don't get that.

ღ The supreme ending starts with Julia standing beside the hospital bed and telling us that Valentin's surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. We are also informed that he is in the hospital for some time while he waited for the appointment. MC takes care of him every day. Valentin doesn't fail to mention how he feels that his chances for successful surgery only go up when she's there, to which Sivan says it's nonsense because he's in charge of his surgery and he always performs at 100% They have a small friendly banter, but we're basically showed how much they trust each other. Silvan asks MC to stay with Valentin while he's gone because her presence relaxes Valentin and is better than the tranquilizer.

ღ Valentin quickly says that he's going to sleep since there's nothing else to do and that she should go, but MC knows that he's being considerate towards her. She asks him if he feels stronger because of her, and when he confirms it (kinda felt this was redundant, but I guess it's for the people who didn't play the premium scene from the last chapter) she says everything will be fine and that the surgery will succeed. She wishes him good night, but before she leaves he calls out to her to tell her that he loves her. I mean, we know, but still...

He pretends to be asleep and Julia smiles, leaving. NO, I WANT ‘I LOVE YOU TOO’ C'MON

ღ If I was to write this scene, I would add a disturbing attack or attempted attack from a female stalker. The conditions for this scene are very favorable- Silvan is not there, Julia is leaving, and since stalkers are all over the city posing as honest, normal-working people, why not add someone from the hospital being obsessed over Valentin? Better yet, someone disguised as a nurse comes over to watch Valentin sleep, take his picture or attempt to cut off a lock of his hair, and try to kill him because he's dating Julia with "If I can have you no one will"... You know make things interesting since we didn't get that in the last 4 chapters of his route. Yes, he has health issues, but the writer mentioned fanatic fans, and not one made it to Valentin who doesn't have bodyguards. Julia could walk in unexpectedly because she forgot something and catch the person in the act, in that way we have a risk for both her and Valentin, and before security or the police arrive, they can have a fight where one of them gets hurt. Julia for protecting him, or Valentin who can't bear to see her hurt because he blames himself for attracting lunatics and ultimately dragging her into danger. Alas, there's no time for that, I guess.

ღ When she comes home, she prays for his surgery to be a success and encounters Dean. Colleagues and residents of L.C. know that she's in a relationship with Valentin. Dean asks about his health and says that they caught the arsonist and his accomplice. The arsonist turned out to be her colleague and a member of an investment fraud group, as Jonas mentioned earlier. His accomplice is a woman, and he says to her that it's only a matter of time before they find out the whole story. That guy admitted to doing every shit that happened to her at work (setting her mailbox on fire, fire at work, stealing her things). His motive is envy because she is better than him at work and is more successful for someone so young. He wanted to chase her away and take her spot. And that's the conclusion of the supporting story, sadly.

ღ A few months later, Scadoxus is performing at one of the city's biggest venues. We are told that they had the biggest break since the start of their career because of Valentin's surgery and rehabilitation. MC watches the show and after it, they go to the party in honor of Valentin's comeback. When Valentin introduces her as his girlfriend, MC is uneasy about the media, but he doesn't care, saying it's the truth. He finally meets his mentor again, and he says that he put on a great show. Mentor teases him about him still being a novice and hugs him. Valentin calls him old geezer but is tearing up. MC gives them a bit of privacy. Fuck, I expected more emotional reunion between the two and more dialogue, this is the emotional aspect that failed me.

ღ Valentin finally has a bit of time off and takes her to his holiday home. MC worries about his health, because he's working a lot and is still in the process of recovering. He admits he's swamped with work and apologizes for not being able to be with her the whole vacation. MC fully understands, saying that the whole world loves him and that she can't hog him to herself. He smiles and takes her in his arms, saying that the star Valentin Bloom belongs to the world, but a regular guy Valentin Bloom belongs only to her.

Another case of the background not matching the dialogue, the songs belong to the ocean or the sea now, lol.

ღ He asks her if she remembers the promise they made before the surgery, but she pretends that she doesn't, and ofc he knows that she's lying. They make out and MC takes the lead for a change. It's a really steamy scene, especially when she kisses the scar on his chest. While they make love, they confess to each other. That concludes the best ending for Valentin's route.

I think this would work better if they did a time skip and showed them on their honeymoon. I would love it much more but I still like it, especially the spicy ending.

💜 Happy Ending 💜

I'm kinda feeling this one more, to be honest. It felt more natural and kind of the next stage in their lives. While it repeated the details involving arsons and the incidents that were happening to her, we get the info about the accomplice. But more on that in a minute.

ღ The happy ending starts after a time skip and MC goes to the hospital to visit Valentin who already had surgery and rehabilitation, and is scheduled to leave the hospital tomorrow. MC notes how he looks a lot better and says that she misses him when he teases her about how she visits every day. Silvan interrupts their lovey-dovey moment in this version as well. When Valentin states how he got better because of MC, Silvan cuts in commenting how he's full of shit (they are more polite than me) because he's the one who made the surgery successful. They quarrel here as well, about pretty much the same things, and Valentin admits that he's one heck of a doctor. Silvan warns him to be careful and look after himself because he doesn't want to see him again. Before Silvan leaves, he congratulates MC on getting an award (Kaleido Biology Award) and says that Valentin is planning to buy her gifts so if she has any wishes she should say them now.

ღ Valentin snaps at him for spoiling the surprise. She got the award for her theory (the one that Valentin gave her a hint about introducing another female leopard so that the male wouldn't attack the baby) and after additional research and study, she published a thesis that got recognized on the highest academic level. Julia feels like they earned it together and instead of telling him that, she says that he doesn't have to buy her anything. Since he's persistent, she asks him to escort her to the party Ryan is organizing in her honor. Valentin agrees but thinks it's not much of a gift. MC enthusiastically hugs him and gives him a kiss.

ღ Dean awaits when she gets back to work, and the information about people from work and L.C. residents knowing that she's dating Valentin gets repeated. He congratulates her on the award and says that he's glad that Valentin is okay. He also repeats the same facts from Supreme ending about the arsonist being her co-worker and having an accomplice. He states that she can now rest easy and comments on how strong she is to endure false accusations, dangers at work, and other troubles, while MC shows disgust about her former co-worker because he endangered not just the people, but animals too. Dean apologizes to MC about everything, but she's just happy that things worked out in the end, and feels relieved.

ღ She walks home through the residential area where she witnessed the arson/fire and meets Jonas again. They talk about the arsonist -her co-worker's accomplice- a woman who is revealed to be the mother of that little girl Julia was constantly encountering. MC is shocked and asks what is going to happen to the little girl since her mother is going to prison. Jonas thinks that the girl will, most likely, be put in an institution for children, and says it's better than living with a criminal. He wants to be optimistic and shares that he hopes the woman will use the chance to repent for her crimes and hopefully start afresh and live honestly with her daughter when they reunite. Julia knows how improbable that is, but still wants to think positively. Jonas congratulates her and asks if he can also attend her party, to which she agrees.

ღ Several days later, the party is held at the bar lounge where Ryan works. He congratulates and praises her to the crowd and MC feels very nervous. Valentin is there to calm her, and to say that he's there for her. Btw, Ryan announces them as if he's announcing the wrestling match. They are greeted by the familiar faces of Lilac Court, Silvan, and Jonas. MC thanks them just when Ryan announces a surprise for her. The spotlight shines on Valentin and he takes his guitar, dedicating a new song to her. They never include the lyrics much, but he sings about how much he loves her. MC becomes an emotional mess and silently says that she loves him.

Maybe I would put in a proposal scene, but okay, I like it.

-The end-

#shall we date #shall we date love tangle #otome review #otome games #otome games android #valentin bloom #valhala90 about otome #valhala90 analysis #love tangle

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un-owen23 · 20 days ago

Text

Chapter Unknown #1 "Contemplation in Pain"

Well, how should I tell everyone about the things happening lately?

I mean, it’s not that I have someone close enough to me personally; who would comfortably expend twenty thousand words in both bullshit and insight; who does not mind listening to my repeated complains about a specific problem no matter how annoying it is; he who will keep giving obvious advice specifically matched to my problem with a hundred per cent effectivity in solving yet never offended when it constantly denied by my overly-illogical reasons; well, such friend is a ghost to me.

So, I guess I have to settle everything by my own hands… by my limited capabilities in thought and execution; including the responsibility to face the after taste.

“I know it’s wrong.” I reminded her; only with the intention to show that I am on her side. “We seek happiness. You pray for it. You realize that he is unable and probably will stay unfit to answer your expectations; then it’s time to take it as a lesson.”

She was confused; maybe not really confused. Most of the times, she said that I was right; yet her hesitation won’t end with just every seemingly brave action she took. She was never satisfied with the results. Doubt was always bugging her heart; and it created a time bomb which would end up destroying everything we build; including me.

“Can you please just… go away from me?”

It was always between the bad and the good; the truth and the deceit. Her mind circulating on many that were incomprehensible for her cognition. Since it was a new experience in her days as adult; which path should she take to reach the contentment and not regret?

“I am in a relationship with someone. It’s true that I have dissatisfaction in him. But, it’s just not right… doing as we please… it’s going to hurt him?”

“I am in love with you.” I whispered only the truth. “I’ll do better in anything. Don’t we share the same vision? Don’t you think that I can help you… assisting you in reaching your dreams?”

“I don’t know…”

“Please… just give me an honest answer…”

“What is honesty when I don’t know which is right and wrong…”

“Then, will you trust me?”

It was never intended for manipulation. In fact, it was through me that she could have built her awareness to any manipulative intention; including the possibility that she grew up with such treatment. To the best of my own consciousness; I would never use anything transcribed as a new attempt for manipulation in my words and actions toward her. Everything was meant to build a secure and healthy relationship based on mutual consent.

Perhaps, I should have stopped at the moment before everything is started.

Well, you have me as your friend, now… what’s done is done… you have learned your regrets and it is now the time to face the music…

“Can you just shut, up?”

I wish… but don’t you want a friend, huh?

I am here to be the one you wanted the most… now, just tell me everything, pretend that I know nothing about it… I’ll give you a friendly suggestion and if you’re too coward, I’ll do all the acts of whatever you want; deliver the justice…. a sweet revenge… or perhaps… prostrating for a come-back?

Who is he; the one talking inside my head?

Well, it’s a long story that will be uncovered in time. He is currently living in me. Yapping in the middle of my overthinking; commenting on the dialogues played in my head each moment of my relapse. It happened so much it felt like I was chatting with a real person. Though he was always in between reality and fantasy; one thing for sure, I am not hallucinating.

From now on… call me the other you…

Try to look at the mirror and make a grin… even if you are unable to do so, I will do it anyway… you will see the other you that is not you… you will see me…

Talk to me about anything… I’ll do anything for you… I will drag your wildest dreams into reality… including the worst of the thing you have ever imagined to the person who hurt you…

“Ah… what was that?”

Murder?

“Hmm, it’s a thing I can do by myself. I don’t need you.”

Hahaha… that’s it… the pride of a criminal, eh?

“It’s another to settle later…”

Why would a heartless murderer like you lost to the pain of broken heart?

“That’s why I’m still a human…”

How does it feel to be heartbroken?

“You can read my mind; can’t you just feel what I feel? You are living inside me; you are literally me. Can’t you feel the pain?”

Hmm…

A long conversation may that be. A painful relapse may happen. An unwanted companion singing inside my head. They were just packed in my own self; within me while the physical manifestation of me was sitting still in the corner of my working space. In one of the rooms in the third floor of C building intended for student clubs; this room was meant for the department of advocacy of the student councils; in which I acted as their advisor. It’s a nice room with a good ambience and there was an extra space for me separated from the main room; with a door directly connected to the corridor to make sure that there wouldn’t be mutual disturbance with the students; the advisor room which mostly unused due to the absence of its role taker. I’ve designed it to be fully functional for me with my chair, desk, and gadgets installed; and the good thing is that it has the window facing the far ocean in the north yet could still give me some breeze to clear my mind.

Ah.

Didn’t I mention about my main occupation as a teacher, before?

Well, before we strolled in another unfortunate relapse; my name is Amir. Almost thirty with a long list of experience which mostly boring. I grow up as an ordinary person with nothing to boast about. I am just one of the many; very, very ordinary type of person who would be easily forgotten upon my disappearance. My circle is very limited to people who were in the same class as me; working in the same office; or living in the same building; yet none of them got too close in the inside. Some easy variables to measure the claim included our mutually limited access to each other’s purses; and the fact that they would find difficulties in a task of describing me in two thousand words essay.

As a solitary person who rarely depend on others; I build enough anxiety upon facing pressure from social interaction. So, it was always a trait that whenever I was put in the center of crowd attention; flight is my foremost respond. Closest acquittance might stop guessing about my next action which was always the same… I do follow up any problem with my own approach…

So, you say that you have a dark side which is unknown to everyone?

“Right. Though there is always an exception who is fated to bond with me through that one irregularity.”

It must be your late father… and the one who was sent beside him on his last moment…

True.

You told me that you are a murderer… and in fact, I saw one of your crimes…

I understand… there is no secret between us…

You may as well know everything about me…

“Save that for later. Fairy tail or legends. I don’t care about such thing. And if you are truly someone who descends from heaven, why don’t you have one miracle that I want to use the most?”

Hahaha… you’re still talking about that?

Come on. I am not here to please your desire. I am just roleplaying as you. And since you retired being a murderer; you decided to follow the career as English teacher; perhaps I should learn to be a caring and supportive person; not a gloomy and lonely you.

Isn’t it an irony?

“I mean… you should ask me about the audacity to stay here and live with the survivor of my atrocities? Guiding them to be a kind-hearted adult; preaching about righteousness and justice while I am constantly living in hypocrisy?”

What does it matter? You will atone your sins… maybe karma is playing its part now…

“It is both too easy and too difficult as a karma…”

Your indescribable emptiness…

The void left in your heart that would never recover…

Minor pain is constantly annoying your day and night…

And you have weird obsession in someone whom normally should disappoint you…

“I was just trying to run from the fate of a sinner. Washed my bloody hands by living as an ordinary me; among the average; I told my father that I was going to stop. I found someone worthy living with despite all the boredom and deadlock; I am in love. Please, let me tread my own future free from the history of bloodshed. I want to thrive in the future with full of happiness; and I want to be sincere to my own self.”

Hahaha…

Such conviction never bore me, really!

Ah, and you experience it!

Aren’t you feeling great that your unwanted twist is actually happened?

The one you afraid the most!

“It’s the commitment. It’s the devotion. Nothing but the best intention. I am truly in love. Love brings me the common sense; a common dream of humanity; peaceful life. Harmony.”

Hahaha…

And you are betrayed…

“Though, they don’t shatter. All the dreams and hope build to be side-by-side with here. I still have the vision for the endless happiness after this long chapter of pain!”

A mere daydream…

Your love is no longer unrequited…

The vision is different…

For her… the peaceful and comfortable life is fulfilled without your presence…

Time proves… that the fact lasted more than your time with her… it is what is happening…

“A life of pursuing ambition… is never an easy one… this pain and experience are a mere test to prove my sincere feelings. I have a firm believe that God will grant me the happy end.”

Again… the audacity to mention God…

Hahaha…

“Laugh at me.”

I feel bad. Inside, you must be crying a lot. Behind that stern and stubborn mask. I feel pity. I want to give you the best advice if you wish to hear; well, why don’t you just move on?

“Move on? What is that? It’s been months; won’t be long until a year; perhaps it will last longer than my happiness when I was with her; but no matter what happens; it stays. Isn’t it the meaning of being sincere? I am… staying true to my own feelings… My heart, my words, my actions; they will stay in harmony… to reach into her heart once again… to bring back what was once lost…”

Honestly…

You can live better than to chase such foolish ambition…

There are a lot of conclusions you could withdraw from your current affair… why would it turn into a new battle?

Is there any alternative… an easier outcome?

“I don’t know… most of the times… I just want to die…”

Poor child…

You’ve showed me your strong confidence… an unwavering ambition…

Beautiful. Though, I can also see your broken soul… and your fragile mental state…

You have regressed into an incapable person…

Love is blind; it takes all of your senses; retards you; leaves you as an empty shell that moves only to follow your foolish ambition. It must be the best that we’ve met; that our destiny aligned! You can go on crying… sulking in your suffering… Now, just give me your body and let me take over… as a payback for the contract that we signed… I will help you face your reality…

“I will just rest for a while…”

Crying in your lonesome day and night…

After all the rejections you faced from the one you loved the most in this world, you must come to the conclusion that her feeling is gone and it will be forever irreversible. Unlike you, she doesn’t love you. All the determination will end up as nothing. They will only be rewarded with this incurable disease you are currently suffering. So, follow me, succumb the will of dying for an extra moment that you will never forget.

Living as the one who isn’t originally from this world…

“You sure talk a lot… it pains me to know that you’re also saying the truth about me… I have told her everything… I have done everything… and there is no answer from her… I have begged for her return… I told her my compromise… I promised her all the best she can get from me… I apologize to her already… and I forgive her… I will always love her… but there is no reply…”

Except for the silence… and indifference…

Even more painful than a coup de grace…

All the pain turned the world and the sky appeared darker; the temperature decreased a little and the cold embraced in blanket of sorrow; the melody of the wind and the rain shuffling in the playlist of sadness. I had no other desire but to stay with her; I never wished for a new beginning; I wasn’t capable of accepting an alternative ending; I rejected this current reality. Everything I had; I put it in the stake; for my last mission in this world; I will let this unknown live as me; while I wait for the good news; for the day when she loves me; the way she loved me last year.

Or until you die…

Another relapse happened along the melting sorrow… a small stream created from the droplet produced in my tear duct… through the terrain of my tired face… I could remember well her words for my birthday…

“I wish for you happiness; I wish for your well-being; stay with me forever. I will help you, stand beside you for everything you wish to achieve; I will always be your first friend. I’m not exaggerating; I will try to answer all your effort and kindness equally. I know your struggle; and I will make sure you are not alone. There are so many places for us to go, so many experienced we have yet to feel together, and so many dreams for us to pursue together. Please, stay with me… forever… I love you…”

Sadly, it was the only one birthday I spent with here…

Without even one word turned out to be true…

It is still happening… nothing for sure…

“How come… someone who was in love with me… lost it like there was nothing…”

So many great tales started with broken heart…

As long as you are still breathing…

There is still hope…

“Thank you… though such words never help me better…”

Yeah… that’s why…

Just sleep…

Let me do the rest… while you are waiting…

“Yeah…”

I will protect you from the despair and nightmare…

Become the you who is frightened by your own reality…

Someone told me the story. He said it was just a legend that never got too popular that many would forget. Though he claimed it to be real; it stayed unproven. The story was about a fallen star who descended to the earth some centuries before today. It was story about a creature with skin as pale as snow; the sapphire color of his eyes said to be able to attract rain and winter; and he was blessed with multiple miracles to make him stand above the realm he visited. He wandered alone to the many universes he visited; to read the story treaded by each civilization; to make friend with the souls of the living creature; to join them as one of the characters; to witness the ongoing existence; and perhaps to end as one of them. This friend called him as the unknown.

I have the name…

He assumed different form each time he blended with the civilization. Sometimes, he materialized into his own flesh and blood; the other times, he would just love to coexist with others; forming a mutual symbiosis with specific merits and demerits to both of them. His role was never limited as a figure with superior power that was mysterious and untouched by the common sense; but also, a normal human being who lasted without legacy. Among the roles he played in this world; there were the wise king who brought prosperity to the kingdom, evil tyrant who brought calamity within his reign, black magician who devastated the land, part of adventurer who journeyed to the new world, war criminal who committed genocide; rich merchant who ruled the world, a scientist discovering novelties; a low-ranked soldier died in the war, slave tortured to his death, farmer suffered famish, and so many others throughout generations.

Currently I’m just playing the role of a sad man… a lonely high school teacher…

“What is it that you seek?”

Hmm, I don’t know… I’m just going with the flow… and once this world gets boring, I’ll just fly to the next one…

“Is there even any?”

Well, my story would just be equal to any fiction you’ve read… you can’t even prove the truth in my words no matter how you try… just take it with the grain of salt…

“At least, don’t make it boring. I still need some entertainments within my slumber.”

Hahaha… fine…

A moderately strong force knocked the door of my room. A shadow passed for a glimpse in the corner of my eye; it was a student who came from the next room. Relatively tall figure for a teenager girl stood behind the door just in the corridor. One of my students.

“I know you’re here.” She said, upon seeing me opening the door. “Here you are. All the students’ data you asked. I’ve shortlisted the problematic one, not me, of course. Alice said that you’re going to help them, since we don’t want their scholarships to be revoked. So, what’s your plan?”

“Hmm, me? Isn’t it Alice, idea?”

“Something related with working in the community, for the pacifists. She said you’re going to help them find a good community to volunteer?”

“Ah… did I promise such thing?”

“Hey, stop being irresponsible. Anyway, I don’t want to discuss about it when no one is here. I think everyone is going to be busy, so, I’ll be going to volunteer in the library. This place gives me creepy feelings.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll review each of their problems, but Alice should initiate the meeting and the follow up. Is that what we promise?”

“Alright. Anyway, I’ll be going first.”

Nana is my student and a member of the Student Councils’ Department of Advocacy. She is a good friend with Alice, the coordinator; and the unluckiest member due to her discipline. She spent most of her extra times working in the school library. Just like me, she preferred somewhere silent with no one to disturb her.

You’re quite easy to talk, huh? Despite your introverted nature, and twisted background.

“Outside the perspective of administrative works; I am a good teacher, you know?”

Well… I still think I can do better…

“With all your knowledge about me, are you going to keep my personality and everything about me to stay as it is; or you’re going to be an entirely different persona?”

Mostly the same…

“Hmm… I wonder, if you know everything about me including my feelings; can you feel it too? The pain? The suffering? Or, at least, do you have some empathy for me?”

I do. I am you, after all. They don’t pain me, though.

“Are you implying that they are not real?”

No. It’s different. The psychology and physiology of human don’t seem to work the same on me. Some people may tell a story to romanticize an immortal who falls in love; who feels the grief of losing; or suffers the same drama as you human; I don’t. I am built different; and I think, the true immortal won’t be as weak as you.

“Oh… that makes more sense…”

I met the worse.

And I will do the worst for you.

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