#we love sofia on this blog

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Wide Awake

Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Wolff!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Self-Doubt, age-gap (reader is 22), slight smut (just fingering) , oh and slight orgasm denial.

(SOFIA IS A RANDOM GIRL I MADE UP!)

A/N: This was supposed to just be a one off thing but I kept writing and writing and I'm 99% sure that no one wants to read a 25k worded chapter only for it to BARELY get to the whole point/plot of the fic. so there's going to be another chapter (3 at max)

(Also I promise Too Good To Say Goodbye 7 is coming but I was hyper fixated on trying to finish this which isn't happening ) 🫶🏽😊

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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My dad’s always warned me about getting involved with the drivers. He told me that they’re all too young, naive and that all they’ll be good for is breaking my heart. For the longest time, I believed him. I’ve seen the way some of these young drivers were with girls.

Max cheating on Sofia with Kelly, Lando talking to 3 girls at once and George, well George hasn’t done anything. Point is, I’ve seen how they are and I don’t want to get with one of the young drivers only to have my heart ripped out. AGAIN.

I secretly dated one of the hottest drivers, Charles Leclerc for about 2 months. All was going well we were happy, we had secret dates and maybe I thought he was the one.

That was until one day In Monaco when I showed up to the paddock for Free Practice 1 & 2 I saw him hand-in-hand with Alexandra Saint Mleux. When I saw them together and I realized everything she had that I didn’t. She was at taller than me, skinnier, gorgeous, had flawless skin and had a modeling career. In other words, she was a goddess.

Seeing them together broke my heart and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob, but I couldn’t. My dad warned me about the young drivers but I still went behind his back and did the exact opposite of what he told me not to do. I deserved this.

I had made a beeline for the Mercedes garage just to get out of the public eye but I was so focused on getting as far away from Charles and Alexandra as possible that I hadn’t noticed I was running straight into someone.

I hit this person's body with such force I almost went flying back and I reached my hands out in front of me to try and grab anything for stability and at the same time I felt two hands on either sides of my waist trying to balance me.

I was feeling so many different emotions right now I couldn't even think straight, clearly. I was so angry at Charles for cheating on me even if weren’t technically even dating, sadness because I actually thought Charles was actually capable of loving me, and full fledged embarrassment because I just ran full on into someone thinking about how Charles just ruined my life. And my makeup.

I looked up to face the person I just ran into and tried to profusely apologize for my actions, but when I looked up tho I was met with the most gorgeous brown eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wanted to stare into his eyes forever but in the half a second it took me to look up I also realized who it was that I ran into.

The 7x WDC Lewis Hamilton.

Even more embarrassment coated my face as I realized that not only did I just bump into someone while trying so hard not to have a mental breakdown but I ran into the Lewis Hamilton, my dad's best and most loved driver. “Oh my gosh Lewis, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I really didn’t mean to run into you. Please don’t tell my dad” Honestly, it sounded pathetic. ‘Don’t tell my dad’? what are you, 12?

I stared at him in silence for about all of 2 seconds which felt like an eternity until I saw his lips curled up into a smile and heard a small chuckle come from him. “I won’t tell your dad, cross my heart” Lewis said while making an ‘X’ motion over his chest “Who are you running from? I feel like maybe I'm obligated to know since you ran right into me trying to avoid them?”

My face fell in shock. How did he know I was trying to avoid someone? I mean it wasn't rocket science, if I saw a random girl running to an isolated area with tears streaming down her face, I too am going to assume she's avoiding someone. “I- Uh, Well. See”

“It’s okay, Y/N/N, I’m not going to tell anyone. You also don’t have to tell me if you don't want to but I’m willing to help you avoid them if you do.” Lewis said as he placed a hand on my cheek.

I’ve always found comfort in Lewis’ touch. Actually, I’ve always felt comfort whenever I was in the same room as Lewis. Something about his Aura screamed ‘You’re safe with me’

As much as I wanted to, I knew there was no point in lying because one thing about Lewis is that could read people like a book. Including me. With a long, loud and dramatic dragged out sigh I reluctantly told him the truth.

“I was seeing Charles behind my father’s back for about 2 months, everything was going well and I actually kinda thought he was my person but I just now saw him hand-in-hand and all cuddly with Alexandra.” Tears sprung in my eyes and threatened to fall as I recounted what I saw a few minutes prior to Lewis.

He had a sympathetic look in his face and I could tell he genuinely felt bad for me. The hand Lewis once briefly had on my face had moved down to grab my hand before he whispered, "How about this: Tomorrow we wear almost matching outfits and we come back here also hand-in-hand. We'd be together all day and we'll be cuddly too. You know, just to make Charles jealous and regret cheating on you."

Lewis was always putting people's well-being ahead of his and it made a shy smile creep onto my face. As much as I want to, maybe I shouldn't read too much into this though, he's probably just being nice to me to stay in my father's good graces.

"Lewis," I whispered as I placed my hand on his cheek "You don't have to be nice to me because I'm your boss's daughter"

he looked a bit hurt by my accusations. "Is that why you think I'm doing this?" his hand squeezed mine a little tighter.

"Why else would you, Lewis?" his hands came up to cup my face forcing me to look at him.

"Because Y/N/N, I-" he paused, almost like he was trying to find the right words to use. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've seen you sneaking around with Charles and it took so much in me not to go over there and tear you away from him, to show him that you're mine. I know I'm older than you but I'm wiser and I'll treat you better than he can." My jaw dropped, there's no way that Lewis Hamilton, a 7x WDC is head over heels in love with me, right?

"Lew, I-" a voice interrupted me, turning my body into stone and my blood into ice.

"Y/N!" I knew that voice anywhere and if he saw the moment that me and Lewis just shared, we were both dead.

"Dad! Hi!" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I was so flushed from Lewis' confession.

"My baby," His hands cupped my face inspecting the red all over "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just hot. You know how the sun is in Monaco." I said with a shrug, trying to change the subject

"Oh you have to go in the AC! Lewis," my dad turned to face Lewis who was already facing in our direction

"Yes, Toto?" he said as he cocked his brow.

"I need you to take my darling girl inside. She has a condition where she can't sweat which causes her to overheat and pass out. I am too busy with this race and getting everything perfect to be worrying about my daughter having a heat stroke."

"Oh, jeez, thanks dad. Just send Lewis to do everything for you" I said in a playful tone

"Of course Toto, I'll take her in right now." Lewis said as he walked over to me and linked his arms with mine.

Lewis started guiding me through the garage and to his driver's room where he opened the door and gestured me in. Once inside he closed the door before facing me with unsure eyes.

"What's wrong Lew?" I said as I cautiously walked over to him.

"What were you going to say before Toto cut you off?" his voice so low, I almost didn't hear what he said.

"I was going to say," I stopped right in front of him, our chests were touching. We were so close I could feel his breath against my skin. "I think that you have to prove what you said about treating me better than how Charles did."

Lewis grabbed my face and pulled me into a searing kiss, our tongues fought for dominance but his won. Lewis picked me up and sat on his couch with me on his lap so I was straddling him all without breaking the kiss.

His hands found their rightful place on my hips and applied pressure forcing my hips down as I rocked my hips to apply more force against his hardening cock.

"Mmm, you taste so good. I can only imagine how much better you taste when I'm eating your pussy." Lewis mumbled against my lips as his hands went just a little bit lower to stop at the elastic of my leggings. I guided Lewis' hands under the fabric to release some of the tension building in my core.

He understood what I needed and quickly started to run his middle finger up and down my fold, collecting all my juices before inserting it in my pussy. Lewis slowly moved his finger in and out of my hole while using his thumb to rub circles on my clit. His movements were slow and sensual bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm. I started rocking my hips into his palm to add more friction to my core and to chase my orgasm which I really needed right now. I was just about to go over the edge until a knock at the door quickly halted both of our movements and caused Lewis to yank his hand out of me leaving me without finishing.

"Mate, FP2 starts in 15. They need us by our cars now" The voice of George could be heard from he other side of the door.

“Oh fuck me” I grunted as I pulled myself off of Lewis’ lap

“Trust me, I was planning on it” He said with a smirk on his face as his hand came to rest on my ass before giving it a smack.

Lewis poked his head out of the door to make sure no one would see us leave, after the all clear we quickly rushed out of his room, both of us going in opposite directions as to not get caught.

————

The next day I heard a knock at my hotel door at the early hours of 6:00am. With a grunt I pulled myself out of the comfort of my warm and cozy bed and made my way to the door. Whoever was interrupting my beauty sleep was going to get a mouthful, I’ll tell you that.

“Do you know what time it is?!” I whisper yelled as I opened the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole to see who I would be yelling at. And boy do I really wish I did look because I was met with the tall, beautiful, muscular frame of Lewis Hamilton.

“Woah honey, I told you we were going to the paddock together. We need matching outfits” Lewis said while looking at me up and down "Do you by any chance have a matching Tommy Hilfiger set?"

"No?" I said, a little nervous

"Perfect, I bought you one that matches mine so put this on" Lewis said as he handed me a bag of 4 different sets.

"Lewis, there's four sets in here. Which am I wearing?" I said I let him in my room and watched as he took a seat on my bed right were I was once peacefully sleeping.

"Wear whichever one you want and I'll match it. I didn't know which of those four you'd like so I bought them all." My heart fluttered a bit at his confession.

--------

When Lewis and I pulled up to the race and got out of the car, we walked to the entrance hand-in-hand.

Charles and Alexandra were the first people to spot us and I took notice on how Charles dropped Alexandra's hand. When I saw that I squeezed Lewis' hand and leaned into him to tell him

"Lew, it's working. He dropped Alexandra's hand" I said with a smirk on my face.

"Wanna give them a show?" I cocked my brow at what he was suggesting but reluctantly nodded my head.

Without thinking twice, Lewis pulled me into a kiss, his hand finding their place to rest on my ass while mine traveled to the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss.

I heard a strings of words which I'm assuming were curse words before I heard faint shuffles of feet echoing away from where me and Lewis were stood. Faint footsteps weren't the only thing we heard because next thing you know we heard clicks of camera shutters.

I pulled away from him with a horrified look on my face.

"Lewis! My dad might see those!" I don't think I was ever more scared in my life than I was in that moment. My dad can't know that I'm sneaking behind his back with Lewis. Well technically this is the second day of this 'sneaking around' but still, he doesn't know."

"Do you want to be with me Y/N/N?" He said dead serious while interlocking our hands

"Yes"

"So you shouldn't care about the pictures and your dad's opinion. Not everyone is going to accept our relationship but that doesn't matter because this relationship is between us. Not them"

"I need FP3 and Qualifying to end ASAP because I so badly want to suck your cock."

“I’m holding you to that” Lewis said as he swatted my ass. Surely the press people got photos of that and when those get out. I’m gonna have a fun conversation with my dad

It took us about 15 minutes to get the Mercedes Hospitality area because of all the fans asking for pictures, Press asking questions and other drivers asking what Lewis thinks he’s doing going out with me.

I almost took offense to that but quickly realized that they didn’t mean it in a rude way but more as a ‘you better be careful because if you break her heart, Toto will never resign you to Mercedes’ type of way.

When we entered, we were met with the angry eyes of my father.

“Lewis.” He said stern, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose “what are you doing with my daughter?!”

“Sir,” Lewis started but my dad cut him off

“Y/N/N, I told you not to go off with the drivers!” His voice raised, not too loud to be classified as yelling but a couple octaves louder than how it was before

“Actually, you said no messing around with the younger drivers. Lewis is older and more wise” I said as I grasped Lewis’ hand tighter.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Well sir, I intend to give your daughter the best life I can give her, I want to take her everywhere with me, I want to spoil her, I want to have her move in with me, I want to be her husband and I want her to be the mother of my kids.” Lewis squeezed my hand as he said that last sentence.

I never thought about being a mother, I never felt like it was an obligation of mine. I never thought that I wanted kids but hearing Lewis admit to my dad that he wanted me to be the mother of his kids sparked something in me. Lewis made me realize that deep down, I longed to be a mom and now I wasn’t going to be happy if I wasn’t.

“I will kill you if you break her heart.” My dad stated as he stared in Lewis’ eyes as if to try and intimidate him.

—————

It's not the best but I promise the plot is to die for!

taglist:

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[linopls]

kinktober day fourteen

orgasm denial felix x fem!reader warning: SMUT MINORS DNI. use of sex toys, bondage-ish, sir kink (kinda) 0.4k words

you tug at the restraints that are holding your arms above your head and try to close your legs, but felix’s strong hold on your thighs have you moving nowhere. felix is face-to-face with your cunt, holding your favorite vibrator to your sensitive bud. he’s been keeping the toy on the lowest setting and bringing you to the point where you are just about to spill over the edge before abruptly pulling it away and stopping the oncoming orgasm.

“what number was that, love?” felix asks, looking at your flushed face through his fluttering eyelashes. 

“f-five? six?” you whisper unsurely. 

“did you lose count?” felix lifts his head to look directly in your eyes. his eyes are full of lust and his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

you had sent your boyfriend some scandalous pictures while you knew he was at the studio working with his members. he opened the pictures unknowing of what they were and two of his members saw them and teased him the whole night. he came stomping into your apartment and tied you to your own bed frame with his own belt and began taking his anger out on your. he got to ruin you ten times, each one for each “slutty picture” you sent to him. 

“i’m sorry!” you cry out as felix cranks the toy to the highest setting and places it back on your clit.

felix sighs, “i guess we have to start over then, hm?”

you lay your head back on the headboard as moans, whimpers, and cries pour from your mouth. you try to squirm out of felix’s grip but he’s stronger than you are at the moment. when you both play wrestle you are usually able to wiggle free from his strongest holds, but he has all your limbs going numb with the extended sexual torture and his muscular arms are wrapped firmly around your thighs. 

“sir, sir,” you whine. “please can i cum? please?”

felix laughs and teases one of his fingers at your entrance. you squirm at his gentle touch as he pushes the finger into your wet hole. you try to move your hips down to feel more of him but felix’s arms are wrapped so tightly around your thighs you can move.

“stop trying to move, you aren’t getting anywhere,” felix hisses. 

you feel yourself reaching your high and clench around felix’s finger, trying to feel more of him. but before you can release, felix pulls the vibrator and his finger away from you and you feel your orgasm fade for the millionth time that night. 

“count, baby,” felix commands.

“o-one,” you whisper.

felix smiles and you swear all the pent up anger you have for him goes away in that moment. 

“good girl, only nine more to go.”

the mix of soft dom but also hard 🥴

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[evanpetersgfhihi]

୨⎯ 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓰 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓾𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷⎯୧

♡ about me ♡

౨ৎ you can call me elodie (she/her) ^^

౨ৎ 15 yrs old

౨ৎ deer disguised as an insane teenage girl

౨ৎ infp and aquarius

౨ৎ hopeless romantic

౨ৎ married to evan peters, cillian murphy, kurt cobain, tim burton, emma watson, taissa farmiga, mia goth, winona ryder, helena bonham carter, elizabeth grant and brittany murphy

౨ৎ hobbies: reading, writing, girlblogging, listening to music and true crime pods, watching movies and shows, baking and yapping with my very few but lovely friends

౨ৎ books: the bell jar, the virgin suicides, my year of rest and relaxation, christiane f, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian gray, the silent patient, the secret history, tributes of panem, harry potter, enola holmes, truly devious, the little prince and literally anything by kafka, rick riordan and holly jackson

౨ৎ movies: girl interrupted, black swan, thirteen, american psycho, perks of being a wallflower, jennifers body, pearl, buffalo 66, coraline, dead poets society, léon: the professional, the menu, the craft, my girl, i believe in unicorns, ten things i hate about you and literally anything by sofia coppola, tim burton, david fincher, greta gerwig, wes anderson and studio ghibli

౨ৎ shows: ahs (favs are murder house, coven and asylum), skins, gilmore girls, bojack horseman, stranger things, asoue, obx, heartstopper and ianowt

౨ৎ music: lana, mitski, nirvana, hole, mazzy star, fiona apple, ethel cain, deftones, radiohead, the smiths, fleetwood mac, tv girl, marina, tyler the creator, queen, david bowie, arctic monkeys, the nbhd, ayesha erotica, solya, bambi baker and a lot more

౨ৎ other things i love: art, poetry, cats, deers, swans, iced coffee, dr pepper, trees, old parks, cemeteries, coquette, grunge, y2k, lego flowers, spotify, tumblr and pinterest

♡ about my blog ♡

i'll post relatable girl stuff, my interests, fashion inspo, moodboards, random thoughts and whatever i feel like ^^ everythings mine unless i say otherwise

dms are always open if you wanna talk or be friends <3 i love meeting new people ^^ if you wanna be moots just tell me in my question box! you can also ask anything there, i love answering to these ^^

dni: racists, homophobes, transphobes, fascists, pedos, nsfw blogs, probably forgot some but yeah im a minor and liberal so i think you get the idea of what i don't tolerate

healthy and pro recovery ed and sh blogs without triggering imagery and stuff are totally ok but if you romanticise this shit, (re)post thin$po or scars and dont want to get better pls pls dni or i will report you bc im trying to improve my mental health and that stuff is not helping at all

♡ other socials ♡

other blog (dark coquette aesthetic)

other blog (dark green and gloomy aesthetic)

yap blog (for yapping, reblogging and answering questions)

spotify (it's kinda messy im sorry)

pinterest (i post more whispers there)

⁠♡ ok i hope i did this right byeee angelss ⁠♡

[halsteadlover]

A New Milestone

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: your daughter just started kindergarten and both you and, especially, Jay didn’t imagine how difficult seeing her grow up would be.

• Warnings: none, just fluff and ugly ass writing as usual.

• Word count: 2631.

• A/N: I was just craving some Dad!Jay fics so here it is one. I’m sorry if there are any mistakes. I hope you’ll like this fic, please let me know what you think and comment, like and reblog if you want. As always, thank you so much for everyone who supported and who’s supporting me ❤️ I love you all.

The big day had arrived.

Needless to say, neither you nor Jay were ready and, nothing, no instructions, no manuals, no googled blogs, would’ve prepared you on how tough this moment was going to be.

Your little girl was starting kindergarten and you couldn't be more desperate than you already were.

You tried not to get carried away by emotions, not wanting to be one of those oppressive mothers or always with teary eyes in front of your daughter – you’d do that later – but Jay didn't seem to be doing a very good job.

The situation was tragicomic, because on one side there was your little Sofia who was running left and right, excited and overjoyed to start kindergarten, and on the other there was Jay, who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and having a crying spell.

“What does my beautiful girl want to eat for a snack?” you asked as she was giggling with her dad. Jay wouldn't let her go, he held her as long as possible like he was going to never see her again. They were standing next to you and he didn't even seem to notice you were there as he showered her with kisses on her plump cheeks and cradled her in his arms.

“Lots of chocolate chip cookies!” she exclaimed, her green eyes shining as she toyed with her favorite puppet, a little Frozen doll obviously brought by her father.

“Nah-ah miss, you tried it, you already ate a lot of them,” you replied approaching her and leaving a kiss on her cheek before starting to prepare her snack bag.

“If my little girl wants chocolate chip cookies, she's going to have chocolate chip cookies,” Jay interjected, and you rolled your eyes, knowing you weren't going to win this debate. Sofia let out a little scream of excitement, throwing her little arms around her father's neck who hugged her even more and caressing her back. “My precious big girl.”

“Incredible,” you mumbled, trying to hide the smile that threatened to grow on your lips.

With everything prepped, it was time to drop her off at kindergarten, and needless to say neither you or Jay were ready.

You noticed how quiet he was, not speaking unless absolutely necessary. During the car ride, little Sofia kept saying how happy she was to start, to make new friends and to be with her friend Lucy. She was so exuberant you sometimes wondered where she got this side of her character from.

Jay said almost nothing, just glanced from time to time at his daughter in the rearview mirror, while his heart tightened with sadness at the thought he’d soon have to leave her.

“We're here honey,” was one of the few things he said after pulling into the kindergarten parking lot.

“Okay baby are you sure you don't want to go home with mom and dad?” Jay asked as he knelt down next to Sofia.

“Jay!”.

“Hey I'm just saying... There's still time if you want to think about it princess okay?”.

“No papa I want to go! I see you later, don't be sad,” Sofia tried to confront him and you internally bite your cheeks to prevent you from crying in front of her. She was only four but she was so emotionally intelligent.

“I'm not sad princess, I'm just very proud of you. You're a big girl now,” Jay replied, trying to keep himself calm as well. He stroked the girl's hair, then leaving a kiss on her forehead “Dad loves you very very much you know that right?”.

She nodded vigorously. “I love you too much dada and I love mommy too. But can we go?”.

“Give me a hug first.”

She hugged her father, who held her as if she was going to war and not coming home for a long time. He tried to savor every second of that hug, aware his baby girl was getting older, that the more time went by, the fewer hugs he’d receive, and this broke his heart.

When it was your turn to say goodbye to Sofia you couldn't hold back your tears, squeezing and stroking your little girl's hair as you hugged her. “I love you so much baby always remember that, and if you need anything mom and dad are always here.”

“I know mama, I love you so much too!”.

Seeing her run inside her kindergarten was a scene that generated a series of conflicting emotions.

On one hand you were so happy, knowing she was growing up, that she was starting to taste some independence, that she was going to make friends and start exploring the world. On the other hand… Damn it, it was so hard because all you wanted was to have her always with you, forever.

You glanced at Jay who was staring at the kindergarten, a melancholy and sad expression on his face.

“Are you okay baby?” you asked him as you intertwined your fingers with his. He brought his eyes to you and looked at you for a moment before nodding. “We can go.”

You walked back hand in hand to the car but he didn't utter a word and, after so many years you've been together, you knew when he was so quiet it was because he tried to suppress his emotions.

When he got into the car, he took a deep breath trying to swallow the lump in his throat before starting the car but the moment he glanced at the back seats and saw Sofia's empty seat, he couldn't control himself anymore and tears began to running down his cheeks.

He felt so ridiculous, he cried when his daughter was only few feet away and she was totally fine.

But he couldn't control it, she was his little girl, his precious princess and he was still so in disbelief she had reached this new milestone. He remembered as if it were yesterday when he picked her up for the first time as a newborn, how afraid he was of accidentally hurting her and now she was grown up, she had even started kindergarten.

He felt an immeasurable love for his daughter, a love that cannot be described in words. He would’ve given her the world if she wanted, the moon and the stars if she asked and knowing he wasn't there with her in that moment, that if she fell he wouldn't be there to dry her tears, that he wasn’t going to feed her, to help her with her hair, to play with her… Man, he felt an abyss in his chest.

You placed a hand on his arm and caressed him before hugging him to try to comfort him. Seeing him cry like that, for his little girl, did nothing but make you even more sure than you already were that you couldn't have made a better choice, you couldn't have chosen a better father for your children.

“It's okay baby, cry all you want,” you whispered, your voice broken by the tears that you too had been shedding continuously for at least half an hour.

“I don't want… Man… I don't want her to grow up so fast,” he mumbled. He pulled away from the hug, and as soon as you looked at each other you chuckled through tears, noting the condition you both were in.

“Oh God…” he sighed, handing you a handkerchief and taking one for himself with which he dried his tears.

“How is it possible she’s already in kindergarten Jay?” you shook your head in disbelief.

“Tell me about it… Our baby is getting so big.”

You nodded, sniffling as you tried to pull yourself together and regain control of yourself. “How about we go home and watch videos of her as a new born and keep crying?”.

Jay burst out laughing, giving you a kiss on the lips. “Sounds like a great idea to me love.”

And that was exactly what you did for the next few hours, with ice cream and tears in full super drama style.

When it came time to pick up Sofia, Jay looked like a kid about to go buy his favorite toy, he couldn't wait for his baby to finish and to be able to hug her again.

It was the first time he had been separated from her for so long and God only knew how much he hated it.

You couldn't stop looking at him and smiling, watching how happy he was as he packed her snacks with all of her favorite treats. No wonder why he was the favorite parent and you the bad one.

“Don't you dare take anything away,” he warned you and you threw up your hands in surrender. “My little girl deserves to be pampered after today. Do you think she’ll be tired? Did she eat? I swear to God if they didn't feed her...”

“Babe, stop,” you grabbed his face as you chuckled “She's fine, she's even forgotten about us.”

The expression of pure horror and dismay with which he looked at you as you said these words made you burst into laughter. “My little girl didn’t forget about me, I’m her father, don’t you dare ever again say such things.”

“Oh Jay, c'mon! Of course she’s fine and she’s happy, I’m sure she’s enjoying herself and all the teachers are taking care of her.”

“I hope so or I'm going to burn that place down with my own hands,” he retorted and something told you he wasn't kidding at all.

But you weren't wrong.

When Jay picked Sofia up and saw her come out with her biggest smile as she ran towards him, he calmed down, setting aside the momentary idea of blowing up the building.

“Dada!” she yelled almost literally jumping into her father’s arms, who grabbed her and spun her in the air.

“My princess!” he exclaimed, delighted to finally be able to hug his daughter again. He showered her with kisses, tickling her as she giggled and laughed. “How are you? How was you day?”.

“Where is mommy?” she asked, looking around.

“She is waiting for us at home, she had things to do but she can't wait to see you, you know?” he hugged her tightly to him with lots of affection and love “Oh baby I missed you so much”.

“I missed you too much dada! You know we played with paint on our hands! Can we do it too with mama?” she looked at him with puppy eyes that weren't even needed that moment, Jay would’ve dug with his own hands and panned for gold if she'd asked.

“We'll do whatever you want baby, ask and I’ll give it to you,” he replied smiling and stroking her cheeks after caressing her hair “So, did you have fun? Have you made any friends?” he asked as they walked towards the parking lot, Sofia still in his arms as she talked about everything she did.

“Do you want to see a surprise?” he asked once they got close to the car and after setting her gently on the ground.

She nodded and let out a little squeal of delight as she jumped and clapped her little hands.

“Close your eyes then. And don't cheat, otherwise no surprise.”

She covered her eyes with her small hands. “No I don't cheat dada.”

Jay made sure she wasn't peeking and opened the passenger side door, taking the small bouquet of flowers from the seat before tucking it behind his back and kneeling in front of his daughter. He brought the flowers before arriving in kindergarten, wanting to somehow give his daughter a small prize and show her how proud he was of her.

“Okay you can open your eyes baby.”

He showed the bouquet to Sofia as she took her hands away from her eyes and the little cry of joy she let out and the look of pure happiness on her face made his heart melt. In that very moment he wished he had bought the whole flower shop, just so he could forever look at the joy the little girl was feeling.

“They are my favorites! Are they all for me?”.

“Obviously they’re all for you honey. Dada is so proud of you, you're becoming a young lady now.”

“Thank you daddy! I love you so much!” she hugged him, squeezing him as tight as she could with her little arms. She smelled the flowers, lilac tulips, her favorite color and flower. “I like them a lot dada”.

“I'm happy you liked them baby, I love you too so much,” he smiled as she tried to hold the flowers in her arms without dropping it. “What you say if we go back to mom now?”.

She nodded happily and after they got into the car and settled her into her seat, Jay started the car and drove home. He listened to all the stories and events happened today that Sofia told him, with attention and joy, realizing how much he loved hearing her talk. She was definitely talkative and Jay loved it so much, mostly because it was something little Halstead definitely got from you.

He took the opportunity to stop at a toy store to buy the paint and brushes his little girl wanted. And of course how could he say no when his daughter asked him to buy some toys and a dollhouse with that sweet little voice and puppy dog eyes?

He blamed you for this. She got from her mother this ability to make him give up so quickly and the way of using her puppy dog eyes to make him do whatever she wanted.

He blamed you because he didn't want to admit she had him wrapped around her little finger and she knew it, that little devil, she knew how to play on her father's feelings because he loved her more than himself.

So when they got home and Jay was carrying a huge bag of dolls and toys with a dollhouse in his arms, you weren't even surprised. Honestly, you wouldn't have expected otherwise.

As Sofia played with her new toys, you didn't waste time admonishing Jay about how much he was spoiling her. “It's not good spoiling her too much baby…”

“Luckily, you're here to play the dictator and restore order in this house,” he replied with an amused smile. “Asshole,” you tossed him the shirt you were folding, but not being able to hold back your laughter. He was too handsome and adorable to even pretend to be angry with him. “What are you hiding behind your back?” you asked as you noticed he had one arm hidden while with the other took the shirt you had just thrown at him and laid it on the bed.

He held out his other hand, revealing a beautiful bouquet of flowers, more precisely your favorite flowers, leaving you speechless.

“Jay...” you whispered in amazement as you took the bouquet from his hand and smell it. “Why the flowers? Did I forget some special event?”.

“Because you deserve it baby and honestly it's the least I can do,” he replied. He looked at you and the way your eyes sparkled and the way you were smiling made his heart melt, a flock of butterflies gripping his stomach just like the first day. “Because you gave me the best gift I could ever ask for, you gave me our little girl and our family and I’ll be eternally grateful to you. Because I’m in love with you in a way I’ve never thought I’d be with someone and because you make me the happiest I’ve ever been every single day. I’d honestly be nothing with you. So thank you baby, for everything.”

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs

Jay Halstead tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @ixna-mikaelsn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @upsteadlovingheart, @secondaryjob, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippi3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutlOver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @baby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @itserickalove, @23victoria, @slytherlight, @goingwiththewind, @notanordinaryprincess95, @mel0809, @cadyfanninger, @acewritesfics, @iloveest, @instantpizzacat, @wickedlovely121, @hart-kinsella

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[shychick-52]

What I liked and didn't like about Cedric in the series finale - Part 1

So, as some of you may know, I'm already working on a series of posts about what episodes in season 4 Cedric would have perfectly fit into, but that they didn't use him.

Well, I also wanted to start another series of posts about all the things I liked and didn't like about how Cedric was utilized in the series finale, 'Forever Royal.'

The opening song 'A Big Day'

Cedric approaches Sofia and sings, "Remember, Princess, you made rubies just for me?"

Sofia: Sure!

Cedric: "Well-"

"In this tiara now, they'll fit you to a T!"

Sofia: It's beautiful!

What I liked:

WHERE DO I START?

(1) That Cedric interacted with Sofia in the opening number, which was about Sofia and the kids graduating from Royal Prep and how far they came since the start of the series.

(2) THE SWEET, ADORABLE SYMBOLISM of Cedric regifting her the rubies she once conjured for him (all the way back in the early season 1 episode 'Cedric's Apprentice') in the form of a new tiara as a graduation gift- because 'Cedric's Apprentice' was the very start of their friendship and Cedric's character/redemption arc; all the kindness and support she showed him in that episode (and would continue to show him throughout the series) deeply touched him, and gradually but surely changed him for the better and made him come to realize how much he cared about her too... and that her friendship was what he truly needed and wanted all along, not his misguided dreams of power and vengeance. The rubies in the tiara symbolized all that, their mutual friendship, plus his deep gratitude to her for all she did for him.

(3) Her kindness in 'Cedric's Apprentice' touched him so much that he always kept them, despite the gradual nature of his character arc and growth. Cedric always secretly valued her friendship after everything he went through, and gradually even came to care about her and see her as the friend he always needed, but for a long time he still forced himself to believe that it wasn't enough... but nonetheless, he always held on to those rubies!

(4) THE LOOK OF SHEER PRIDE, GRATITUDE, AND LOVE ON CEDRIC'S FACE DURING THAT WHOLE SCENE, WITH EACH LYRIC, especially when she was heading for/down the stairs.

What I didn't like:

It felt quite rushed, especially given that they hardly interacted in the finale- it was so sweet, meaningful, and symbolic that it deserved to be its own separate scene where Cedric could have actually told her how much her friendship means to him and how proud he was of her. But I get the time restraints, and I'm VERY grateful for what we got!

You can barely even see the rubies in the tiara...

This is something that another moot already pointed out in a post of their own, which always bugged me too- when Cedric first approaches Sofia and mentions the rubies, Sofia's response of "Sure" is oddly awkward in both her tone and expression. As if she was confused why Cedric just popped up and randomly started talking about something from nearly four years ago with zero context, when she was on her way to her graduation, which I guess is fair (now when he actually gave her the tiara with the rubies, she did seem genuinely thrilled, but the awkwardness of her initial response kind of put a damper on the scene).

No hug. We could have finally had a mutual hug between them, but she didn't even hug him one more time...

@moonypears-blog @majoresca @cedric-my-beloved @the-gayest-show @sweetmariihs2

[rafesfavbimbo]

All the hate against Sofia is unjustified and mostly from either racists or rafeists who hate seeing him with someone who isn't them

There's a small thing called character development and we have only seen one half of season 4 so far. Sofia cares about Rafe, has integrity, tried to support and uplift him and he treats her like shit and takes her for granted. Now she's starting to take control for herself and stop being his doormat. But it's a new mindset she has to adjust to as it is alien to her

Stop being a petty cunt over fictional characters and use your brain ffs

HAHA coming in my inbox anonymously to call me a CUNT is crazy!! say it with your chest scary!!! I DON’T CARE about Rafe having a love interest just give him an interesting one! It would have been cool IMO to see him with an equal! Yeah exactly it’s a fictional character so god forbid i have an opinion that doesn’t align with yours. If you like Sofia by all means like her idc! I’m stating my opinion on my blog! Feel free to leave! Then to call me a fucking racist? you’re cracked the fuck out! I love that’s she’s latina (i’m literally one myself) her character is just BORING! Yall get so fucking bold! How about use your brain to realize not everyone’s opinion is going to align with yours!

[vivelareine]

I’m really sorry that people jump to conclusions about you being a royalist. You seem to be quite nice and your posts are informative.

And it’s true that clergy and aristocracy at large benefitted from the rigged system. Also apparently the economy was already screwed up before, but Frev just had this specific set of precursor circumstances that lit up the powder keg, which was going to blow up eventually.

There is definitely a discussion to be had about all the nuances here, as Frev is a complicated subject.

Thank you! People can be... something, that's for certain.

I love nuanced discussions! I think they're especially fascinating when it comes to this era.

Like I love the fact that we can discuss how Marie Antoinette was personally charitable and kind, but that her personal charity and kindness existed in this almost incomprehensible vacuum of extreme wealth vs poverty.

To use an example I talked about on Twitter, there was an assistant gardener for the hameau de la reine who became ill shortly after being hired, and Marie Antoinette ended up spending almost 2000 livres (a hefty sum--the annual salary of the head gardener was considered a respectable 1500 livres per year, with room and board) on his medical care alone. When it became clear he would not regain his health, she paid for him to return home to England, with a large sum so he could set himself up somewhere.

This assistant gardener's annual salary, had he stayed to work at Versailles? 50 livres, which did include room and board, but still, 50 livres per year.

Now to take an EXTREME example, the infamous bracelets that Marie Antoinette purchased and her mother harassed her over cost 250,000 liveres. It would take 5000 years of this assistant gardener's salary to buy a pair of bracelets that she purchased on a whim. (Now this is an EXTREME example, because everyone considered these bracelets horrendously expensive and extravagant, and it was purchased during her short yet very significant 'wilder' days.)

So it's this fascinating contrast of, her being personally kind and thinking nothing of making sure he had medical care and personally seeing to it that he's not just kicked out of France with nothing and no way to live... and realizing that this personal kindness and compassion existed within this system of massive inequality.

It reminds me of the scene in Ever After (listen I will use any excuse to bring the movie up) where Danielle-in-disguise, after the prince frees the servant from the cart taking them to be indentured servants until they die: "You gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?"

And not in the sense that I think Marie Antoinette would have been like "free this one man!" and ignored everyone else, but the sense that she gave charity, compassion, cared for others, paid for the upkeep of various families and watched over their children's well-being etc etc on a personal level... but she did not comprehend the need for systematic change outside of that very limited scope.

Re; Nuance...

Nuance gets lost a lot, on both sides.

IMO, I don't think people should expect to be taken seriously when talking about history if they are either huffing and puffing about Marie Antoinette being a bitch tyrant who got what she deserved, or if they're wringing their hands and saying Louis was perfect and the revolutionaries were devil worshipers who are burning in hell for daring to revolt.

(And like, I GET... if you just glance at my blog, you might go, oh wow, this person is really Marie Antoinette themed. Must be one of those people who thinks her life was the Sofia Coppola movie. But if you think that and you haven't bothered to read my blog or any of my social media, don't come up at me with some random BS like that and expect to be taken seriously. It's basic common sense and respect.)

[watchyourbuck]

hey sofia! how are you? any new wips you have that you could a sneak peak for? any old ones you miss working on? have a good day!

omg stop i love this question!! hi nonny!! im oki, just busy<3 how are you?? also yes!! ill share a lil smth of each °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

so as for new wips, im working on a stablished buddietommy fic that should be ready on tuesday if all goes well

Buck made a sound at that, hiding in Eddie’s neck. He placed a few lazy kisses right under his pulse point, relishing in the little mewl it got him. “What time is it?” “Late enough to get on with the day,” Eddie whispered, glancing at Tommy from over Buck’s frame. He was still asleep, covered to his pits. So, that’s who’d taken the sheets. “Want any breakfast?”

i also have an abandoned buddie fic (jealous + getting together). idk whether to continue, what do you think?

Putting the phone down, an idea brew deep down. It’s not like he’d encourage himself to pursue it, but these days his free will was dauntingly compromised. He swallowed. This could go one of two ways, and he wasn’t very keen on finding out which. However, the more he thought about it, the more appealing it sounded. His pleasure wasn’t his own anymore, and giving away the one part of himself he could control could do the trick. To forget, to move on. Move on from Eddie.

concerning wips that i have paused we have murder husbands, which i swear im getting back to. heres a snippy from chapter 4

He swallowed, the man’s spit running down his throat and out the corners of his mouth. Messily. “Fuck me,” he urged; demanded. Buck’s right hand flew up, covering half his face with it. He felt the back of his eyes tense. Too much pressure. “I don’t take orders from you.”

and my absolute love love baby wip which is the prince au (snippy from chapter 3):

The stranger was slightly shorter than the Prince, dressed in proper, yet not elegant enough attire to be a royal. His hair was darker than night, and so were his eyes, although what stood apart the most was the overwhelming worry on them. His hand traveled from the Prince’s upper arm to his forearm, then back up. Then Edmundo put his head on the man’s shoulder.

id also share something from Arcane3 (the build a fic game fic - see pinned post on my blog), but this post is already entirely too long so sdfghj thank you for ur ask i truly enjoyed answering <33 MHAW

tagging a few besties! take this as my friday tag game! @spagheddiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @honestlyeddie-im-bi @babybibuck @diazsdimples @hippolotamus @steadfastsaturnsrings @sunshinediaz @hoodie-buck @buckleyobsessed @bucksbirthmark @urfactual @eddiebabygirldiaz @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33 @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @bigfootsmom @tizniz @spotsandsocks @devirnis @bidisasterevankinard @theotherbuckley @exhuastedpigeon @firemedicdiaz @kitteneddiediaz @your-catfish-friend @cal-daisies-and-briars @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @neverevan (let me know if you wish to be removed!)

[elsalvy]

About me :

My Name : Elsa, you can give me any nickname as long as they aren't inapropriate

My Age : 16

Personnality type : INFJ

I am Located in : France, so forgive me for grammar or spelling mistakes

My Pronouns : She/her

My Religion : Christianity, i respect everyone's believes ! I believe in scientific facts too

DNI, account i will block :

Racists, islamophobes, homophobes, transphobes, any religion shaming, everybody is accepted on my page

Non-teenagers

MEN

Nswf, k!nk , fet!sh, 18+ content accounts

Antivaxx

You're on thin ice if you're an ED account

Current likes/interests :

Movies : Donnie Darko, Bones and all, Call me by your name, Girl interrupted, The virgin suicides, Jennifer's body, Carrie, The Goldfinch, Gone girl, Seven, Kill Bill, Black swan, Buffalo 66, Saltburn, Dinner in America, Fight club, Saw, Final Destination and any Tim Burton, Wes Anderson, Sofia Coppola movie

Shows : You, Stranger things, Breaking bad, Rick and Morty, South Park (i don't watch alot of them😿)

Fandoms that i am/was in : Alice Madness Returns, Danganronpa, Sally face, What Remains of Edith Finch, Life is Strange, Fran Bow, Until Dawn, Undertale, Project Sekai + others i cant remember rn

Music : Lana del rey, Alex g, Arctic monkeys, Cigarette after sex, Ethel Cain, Mindless Self Indulgence, Melanie Martinez, Deftones, Super Heaven, Ayesha Erotica, Pitbull, Crystal Castles, The Aubreys, Gorillaz, Snow Strippers and Buena Vista Social Club

Hobbies : reading, working out, drawing, meditation, petting my cats, vinyl collecting, monster high dolls collecting, visiting museums, school takes ALOT of my time

Celebrity crushes / Idols : Timothée Chalamet, Mike Faist, Finn Wolfhard, Devon Bostick, Edward Norton, Megan Fox, Loli Bahia🤍

Activity (random) :

On this blog i will repost coquette, girlblogging posts, letting out my thoughts about anything, and share about my obsessions.

I will try to answer to anyone in my asks (please send me some🙏🏻) and comments

My dms are open and you can talk to me about anything, nothing is "tmi" or taboo

I love alt people & aesthetics, dress as you want as long as you feel confident

I suffer from an eating disorder and trying to recover, so be nice to me and anyone who has one

Thanks you for reading ! Love u 🩷

[lostsyren]

I love your blog, and absolutely love your take on Rafe.

Do you think Rafe asked Sofia to stop working? Because we haven't seen her as a bartender this season, and I wonder if the rest of the kooks made fun of his girl working at his parties, or if his ego was just hurt by it. I don't know, what do you think?

Hi lovely!! Tysm for your kind words! I appreciate it sm!!💕💖🫶

I don’t think she’s stopped working because of all the bts pics of her with her uniform on

But I do think it needs to be addressed, like I wonder how the dynamic would be when Sofia serves Rafe and/or his friends at work.

I definitely think the kooks make fun/talk about Rafe and Sofia behind their back, never in front of them. And I think the instance in season 4 where Ruthie bring up Sofia is the first time that something like that has happened because Topper looks uncomfortable this topic is being brought up, and Ruthie looks excited that she finally gets to talk about it. Even Rafe seems confused: “Sofia? What about her?”– like he didn’t actually expect any of them to say anything to his face.

I also think the topic of her being a pogue is something both Rafe and Sofia avoid– especially Rafe. It’s his nature to gloss over things which don’t fit in his world view, so he’d try his best to ignore Sofia’s identity. And Sofia seems to enjoy the escapism of being in Rafe’s world, so when the two of them are alone, the markers of kook and pogue seem to just disappear, leaving only each other.

What do you all think?

[meraki-yao]

My two cents on the story some Nick fans hate Taylor:

From what I've seen around they are mainly people who have been following him since before rwrb and if you look carefully they are often huge purple heart fans (and have a slight obsession with the "relationship" between Nick and Sofia) therefore I think that this hatred for Taylor derives from 2 things:

1. They hate that so many people have gotten closer to him because of rwrb but they share the support and love with someone else. That's why they always have to specify that for them Taylor is unemployed (unlike Nick), Taylor is not a good actor (unlike Nick who is the best around for the next 100 years), Taylor is loved only for his hot body and we are all envious that Nick is mentioned around as an actor etc etc. It's impossible for them to accept that people can appreciate both and one must necessarily be better and more loved than the other and they are better fans because they have been following him since before rwrb and they don't want him to still be associated with this film because he will never be "the sole star" but has to share everything with Taylor.

2. Racism. From certain comments they make it is undeniable that this has great relevance in this situation and I don't even want to delve into it because it's not even crazy it's simply disgusting and this is definitely the worst part.

They hate rwrb (but praise Nick as Henry and think he's the only one who did well in the movie) and keep making up this bullshit about how Nick hates the project, hates the cast, his body language says he was uncomfortable on that set, this is the only cast he hasn't remained friends with, Taylor tries hard for have his attention to be relevant but Nick just proves they have no contact and they need it to be true because that's the only thing which they can cling to to hope he doesn't make the sequel. Oh, plus Nick is too busy to accept the sequel and it would be a downgrade for him to do the sequel given the career that awaits him, unlike Taylor who only has rwrb to work and be relevant (all read with my own eyes unfortunately)

In short, I don't know how they can think this is good for Nick and how they can think this is the type of support he deserves and would like. As another blog said, we can't stop them, there are moments they become more vocal and mean and the more we respond the meaner they become saying things like "you get angry because you know it's the truth"

They treat Taylor like a monster, like he's a really bad person, they've done bad things towards him like doxxing and spreading false information about him to convince everyone what an evil person he is.

They say he uses Nick, before Nick's response when he signed the book they said Taylor bullied him with those drawings on his face all because they have this unhealthy relationship with an actor and they think they have some right over his life.

You've explained their (ridiculous) mentality really well, and frankly, it drives me insane that there are people in the world who think they understand one person's career/relationship/life when he doesn't know them

On the note of purple hearts, I didn't watch the movie and I don't plan to, but when I just got into the RWRB fandom and started learning about Nick and Taylor, and I kinda saw some comments from us, that's kind of... something like Purple hearts fans are mad at RWRB because of... opposing political beliefs?

Oh, also agree on the racism thing. Fuck racism man.

My one hope is this bullshit doesn't affect Taylor and Nick. I have faith in their relationship not to turn sour or blame each other because 1, it's not each other's fault 2, they're grown ass adults who understand how this industry, parasocial relationships and fan culture work, but if any of these shitty comments reaches either one of them it must hurt, and arguably hurts Nick more than Taylor, because these people are hurting your friend in your name. That's fucked up.

Again I think the best thing we can do is ignore them, block them and remember that we hold the actual truth: Nick loves RWRB, and Taylor, and Henry. And he and Taylor, on both sides, plus Matthew and a couple editorial writers, stated and showed that they are genuine friends with genuine chemistry.

[rafesangelita]

okay guys I love Rafe and Sofia but why is it all the blog is about rn 😔 I’m tired of seeing it everywhere

yes they are so cute and Sofia is the sweetest ever but everytime I go on a blog to read Rafe blurbs and stuff i can’t because everyone is just arguing about her and Rafeeee 😭

guys like it’s a show, you don’t have to like her, and you can like her everyone has their own opinions but can we stop getting so worked up about it? like on both sides

okay i’ll agree i’ve been spamming rafe and sofia so i’ll chill out about it 🤭 BUT the reason why there’s so much controversy is because majority of the people who don’t like sofia made it a big thing because she wasn’t who they wanted rafe to be with (if you can catch my drift..) personally for me, i just want rafe to be with someone who is good hearted with pure intentions, cause while i think he should be doing some healing first, the least he can have in his life rn is an honest person <3

[thelightsandtheroses]

After Rain | Frankie Morales

Summary:  You’ve been afraid for days that Frankie isn’t coming back to you this time, that you might never know what’s happened to him, but now he’s here at your doorway. Warnings: TF spoilers, angst, language, discussions of drug addiction and use, depression, PTSD, dad!Frankie, 18+ blog, minors DNI. Pairing: Frankie Morales x female reader (established) Word Count - 1.3k Notes - This was meant to be a longer fic but I ended up making it more of a drabble! The fic title is from the Dermot Kennedy song of the same name.

“I don’t know man. I’ve got the new baby now, and my lady isn’t into me doing this kind of shit anymore.” Triple Frontier

“Let this darkness be a bell tower/ and you the bell” Rainer Maria Rilke - Let This Darkness Be A Belltower

He comes back broken.

Will drops him off, nods apologetically at you before he goes to his own home to probably make his own apologies.

There’s a faint smile on Frankie’s face as he stands in the doorway wearing a crumpled shirt, his battered rucksack dropped on the floor. You suppose it’s relief that he’s home. There’s something else too; apprehension, uncertainty about the welcome that will meet him because he’s been so much longer than he said, he’s not called you once either.

In the distance you can hear Sofia playing with her toys upstairs, oblivious to what is happening at her front door and you’re hoping your son won’t hear the door, won’t suddenly wake up because he’s only just got to sleep.

Frankie’s had time to shave in his absence and for some reason that is the thing irritates you the most. You’ve been worried he’s dead and he’s been having a shave! He couldn’t text or call, or send a fucking carrier pigeon but he could shave?

You thought they were dead.

You thought Frankie was dead.

You’re about to say something, purge yourself of this rage, when you meet his eyes. There are storms in them; anguish and pain and emotions you can’t even identify. 

What happened out there?

“Hey querida,” he says softly after a moment, the low timbre of his voice instantly flooding you with relief. This is the man you have loved for years. He holds pieces of your heart and soul with his own.

You shift yourself to let him pass, place your hand on his body as he moves past you. He’s home.

That’s got to be something, right?

Rain taps on the living room window as you wait for Frankie to come back downstairs. The last few days have seen more thunderstorms and rain than you would normally have expected. When it started, you thought to yourself that it was a reflection on your own mood and worries. You were trying to work out what to do, what could you do if the worst had happened?

Despite the rain, it’s humid. The type of rain that leaves the air thick and your skin sticky.

You take a sip of your drink, wait for the creak on the stairs.

He’s tentative when he walks into the living room, wearing sweats and a faded t-shirt, his shower dampened curls just a shade longer than he usually wears them.

“Mateo needed a change,” he says, “he’s almost asleep again now.”

“Have you seen Sofia yet?”

“Yeah,” he sniffs, “she’s still playing in her room. Promised I’d join her in a bit.”

“She’s been waiting for you to come home. I think there’s been some internal drama with the dolls, something only you will understand apparently.”

“It’ll be Strawberry,” he says, shaking his head. “She’s trouble.”

There’s a moment of silence and he sits close to you on the couch. You can smell the sandalwood shower gel lingering on his skin, the crisp toothpaste on his breath.

“Missed you,” he mumbles, leaning closer. “Missed you all.”

“We missed you too. What - what happened?” So much for easing him gently, you think, but you need to know.

Frankie looks at the floor as you gently take one of his hands in yours.

“Tell me. That’s what this is based on, right? You tell me things, we’re honest with each other, whether it’s easy or not.”

“It was fucked. It was so fucked.” His voice cracks and he runs his free hand through his hair.

“I thought it was just a reccy, that’s what you said.” You resist the urge to say ‘I told you so’ to say that was why you’d begged him not to go. 

Frankie relapsed recently. He had then been suspended from work which was how you had learned about the relapse. You hadn’t been sure how the two of you would get through that at the time. You had a mortgage, a small child and were weeks away from your new baby being born at the time. Somehow the two of you had endured it though. Things were strained, you can’t lie, but you were both determined you could get through this.

The reccy had posed more of a direct threat to every bit of progress made though. You were incensed that he thought this was something worth pursuing; that the money was worth whatever it cost him.

Frankie was terrified and desperate about the position you were both in and he still wanted to provide, to be there for your little family. You didn’t want him to do it. You remembered the way he would come back from missions. His recovery was new and tentative, he didn’t need more trauma weighing on this.

He didn’t need more wounds on his soul.

However, it was only supposed to be a reccy, just a few days. He was convinced it would help him, help you all. He said it would buy you both some time while he tried to get his licence back, would help him get through this bad patch - it would give him some purpose. You’d wanted to ask if your family wasn’t quite enough purpose there.

“It went wrong, went bad. ‘S why I didn’t call - I couldn’t.” Frankie exhales and then adds, “Redfly died.”

“Redfly -Tom? Tom’s dead?” Everything in you runs cold and the anger that’s been constricting around your heart fades.

You could have lost Frankie. It could have been him.

The images won’t leave you and you put your hands on Frankie’s hands just to remind yourself he’s here, he’s real. He hasn’t left you.

“Tell me,” you gently press, leaning closer to him.

He doesn’t tell you everything about the mission; he can’t, you expect. He tells you enough to make it clear that things went wrong, that the helicopter crashed and they were stranded, that Tom died at some point in the whole sorry affair. He holds your hand the whole time as though you’re the only anchor to this moment, the only thing separating him from a jungle he’s still stuck in.

Part of you wants to get straight into the car and go yell at Santiago, Will and Benny for their parts in this. For the greed and stupidity and foolishness of this whole mission. Part of you wants to scream at Frankie for this.

You listen to the rain instead, try and calm yourself and put those conversations away for another day.

After his story, the two of you sit together. You know nothing will be the same again; how can it be? Tom’s dead and you know your boyfriend enough to know that the haunted look on his face won’t fade away any time soon.

You’re still hurt, still angry. Frankie’s home though and he’s alive. That’s something, that’s enough for now.

You move closer to him, let him wrap his arms around you. You can feel his heartbeat through his chest, the warmth of his body and scent of sandalwood shower gel, minty shampoo.

You meet his lips; grateful that the man you love is here, that he is alive.

The last few weeks won’t be forgotten easily, you can’t remember ever seeing Frankie this shaken. You’ve never felt quite this close to losing him before.

He’s home, he’s home now.

Hours later, you stand out in the back porch with a cup of coffee in your hands. The rain is finally abating and the air smells thick of storms and stories.  You can see thin rivulets of water streaming from the porch roof down to the decking, can hear the trilling sound of the crickets and can see the cracks of sunlight between the crowds.

There’s a long way to go. There will be damage and scars from this trip that Frankie hasn’t shared yet, that he may not even have noticed and there’s no winnings here, no results or money or sense of anything good from this mission.

He is home though. He is home and he is alive and he hasn’t left you.

You look through the kitchen window and see him talking with Sofia, laughing about something as he serves her breakfast. He looks over and meets your gaze with a tentative nod and smile.

 You’ll weather this storm together.

Tag List

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If you want to be added to (or removed from) one of the tag lists, let me know or you can get notifications for @thelightsandtheroses-fics helightsandtheroses-fics if you prefer. If you do not have an age or age range showing you are over 18, I will not add you to this list. I block ageless and blank blogs.

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 16

Howdy folks,

I went into a state of psychosis this week and read a truly absurd amount of fics... again. I don't even know where I'm finding the time, truly, but here we are. I didn't spend as much time keeping up with the WIPs I'm reading, so honestly that's probably it. Also I had a lil monsterfucking moment one day this week. I'll highlight those green so if you want to avoid reading the summaries/thots on those they're easy to spot.

You can find my Spreadsheet here and all my previous recs here! Do feel free to tag me in your works and I will happily give them a look and most likely you'll see them here the next week!

Recs below the behind the scenes Joel!

SNAFU - a Frankie series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

The Triple Frontier boys as Shifters!!! This honestly makes so much sense? Like they work SO well with this dynamic. I adore Pope and Reader's bond like right out of the gate. What I really, really fucking loved though was Reader and Frankie, of course. I love how they characterized him and I really love the way that Frankie and reader bonded over time. Frankie being grumpy is so fun lol. A lot of the little details in this fic are what really make it good, ya know? The pack dynamics, the bonding moments, the badass reader, reader's uhhh issue (spoiler, I think, so I'll be quiet here) but yeah. Just. Wonderful. Can't wait for more.

only daddy that'll walk the line - a Joel one shot by @millerscoffee

So this request was sent to two different blogs and I read them both and loved them both. I read this one first. I really fucking loved Reader's dynamic with Joel in this. Joel is such a dick lmao. I thought the situation with reader's dad was done well and I also loved the hinting at Joel's trauma. And of course... the smut. God that was hot. Joel is so fucking dominant. The spitting? please. and Reader keeping up the brat thing just really fucking makes it. She needed Daddy Joel to make her behave lmao. SO GOOD

Little Bee - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

And this is the other version of this request that I read. I related to the specifc brand of Daddy Issues in this one lmao. Dad who doesn't want you so you look for a protective older man (why am I like this). I loved the way reader antagonized Joel in this. The denture comment is hilarious. The bee motif is fuckin great, also. I like that Joel kind of initiates things in the mess hall. The smut is so god damn hot man. Like jesus fucking christ. And then the post nut clarity really made me giggle. "should not have done that" PLS

Closer - a Joel series by @beardedjoel

Hot neighbor!joel!! This is a smut marathon style fic with a good bit of feelings. The smut is sooooo good!! I really liked her friend Sofia too. I'm about halfway through this and I can't wait to see how reader and joel's relationship develops!

Rises the Moon - a Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

(monsterfucking, but you're the monster! also monster is being used very loosely here) mermaid reader x lighthouse operator joel!!! I really enjoyed this. The mermaid reader was super interesting. I wanted to know more about her background, honestly. And the way poor lonely Joel so desperately wanted to care for her UGH. It was seriously lovely. I also really liked how reader didn't commit to like... giving up being a mermaid for him (even just once a month), and he didn't ask her to. The ending is really lovely. (And the smut is hot idc if I couldn't quite imagine how it worked, it was perfect).

Playing with fire - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Super hot smutty lil dad's best friend one shot. I love when Joel gets all pissy. Makes me want to tease him even more lmao

Cupid's Chokehold - a Din one shot by @deathwife

I haven't read a body swap fic before and I must say the dynamic with it being Din, so reader can't see his face even though it's her face, and also the smut was just like... really good. I was fascinated the whole time + the smut was hot as hell. It's really fun to read it from the perspective of the dick owner lmao. I really adored their relationship and just overall thought this was lovely. Reader calls Din "Djarin" so if you're like me and marrying Din would give you an awful name (Din Gin....), you're not alone. <3

I think i know - a Joel one shot by @pascalisbaby

OMG Reader's sister is so mean in this she fucking deserves Joel cheating on her. Yes this is Sister's Husband!Joel. And yes it's really fucking hot. Reader is a menace to fucking society in this prancing around half naked and seducing a married man and I support every second of it. I know what Joel said at the end but I think he'll be back for more....

close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise - a Joel/Tommy series by @ozarkthedog

Raider (?) Tommy and Joel are so fucking hot. Read the warnings on this one kids, it's gonna be a rough one. Nothing happens in this part though, really. Basically you're stranded on the road (post outbreak / pre tess) and Joel and Tommy roll up in their truck and take you to their cabin.

a day in the filth - a Joel one shot by @toxicanonymity

This is pure filth, as the title implies. It would seem you're Joel's little sex toy, essentially. Brat tamer!Daddy!Joel. There's a lot going on here and it is all unreasonably hot.

Bodily Exchange - a Pero Tovar one shot by @absurdthirst

I finally caved a read a mafia fic and somehow it wasn't Joel. I really loved how much of a fucking dick Tovar was and how bratty reader was. The end was so much sweeter than expected, which was a nice surprise. Such a filthy fic with a sweet happy ending!

New York or Nowhere - a Joel series by @beskarandblasters

BODEGA JOEL!!! I love when you're trying to help your friend come up with a fic based on a very specific request and somehow you come up with a completely different fic altogether. New York transplant Joel owns Beldro's Deli. You think he's really hot but your friends think he's a creep. I personally think if he's a little bit of a creep that just makes it better, but then again I'm a little insane <3

Shiver and Shake - a Joel one shot by @multiversed-daydreamer

I have ADHD and literally do the thing where I have thought spirals during sex. I loved this take on that experience and mean ol dom Joel being there to bring your focus back where it belongs (on him). Super fucking hot ugh. And it was their first TLOU fic and I thought the QZ Joel characterization was spot on <3

Roads - a Joel series by @milla-frenchy

Baby's first fic!! So you grew up with Tommy, best friends and all that. You get to know Joel as an adult and there's a spark right away. The first installment here takes place 3 years before present day, after Joel breaks your heart and you literally move to get away from him. The promise of so much angst has me salivating almost as much as the really hot smut.

Promise - an Ezra one shot by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

MONSTERFUCKING! I had a little binge this week.. you'll see. Anyway Ezra is a literal actual dragon in this with a big ol dragon dick and everything. This fic includes so many wild ass kinks I simply do not (or did not know I?) have. And yet I still loved it. Thought it was super fucking hot. I really liked the imagery of the castle and the bedroom. Also the end was kind of sweet?

Common Courtesies - a Din one shot by @juletheghoul

More monsterfucking -- demon!din! I fucking love Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen in general. Mr. Darcy is one of the literary loves of my life. This little Pride and Prejudice-esque Demon!Din fic hit every mark. I loved it so much. Din is so charming and mysterious and sexy ugh. I would marry him in a heartbeat.

Solum - a Dave York one shot by @ezrasbirdie

You guessed it! Monsterfucking. Demon!Dave York!!! I really enjoyed the blending of the movie plot with the demon arc! It was so well done!! Dave was super sexy in this ugh. I too feel a strange pull toward extremely dangerous men covered in blood. Reader gets me. I am her. She is me. Demon!Dave can take me as his little human sex toy any day, idc. I also kind of loved that he was so sweet on Carol in this? Like usually in Dave fics he kinda hates her or cheats on her or she's his ex, but in this one the whole catalyst was keeping her and his girls safe. Very sweet.

Sell My Soul For You - a Marcus P one shot by @absurdthirst

--monsterfucking-- Marcus is so sweet. So sweet that Reader is getting a little aggravated he can't be a less sweet in bed. (Girl have you tried like... talking to him about it?) Anyway, sweet, impulsive, reckless Marcus finds out you feel this way via buttdial and does he like... work on it with you and slowly learn to be better? No. He goes out and sells his soul to a demon to be a better Dom. Idiot. He's cute tho, so I'll let it slide. The smut is super fucking unreasonably hot, of course.

Bad Moon Rising - a Jack series by @wardenparker

--werewolf!Jack-- This fic is actually so fucking sweet!! So part one, Reader doesn't know Jack is a werewolf and he just kinda shows up on her ranch and they hit it off immediately. There's lots of lovely animal references and stuff and it's all really hot. I love the plot too!! this is not just werewolf porn! Shit is incredible! I love the characterization. But anyway if you're not into monsterfucking just read part one. Part two tho... oh boy. Full on werewolf sex. And reader has a kink for it! She's just like me fr.

Kudzu - an Ezra one shot by @beskarberry

--weird alien hybrid ezra-- I have lots of emotions about this fic. First of all, read the warnings. They're extensive and they're there for good reason. I love a good horror fic, which is kind of what this felt like? Like the weird tension and unknowing and the freaky way Ez is talking and that arm. I was thoroughly freaked out (and I love that!!). There were so many clever and interesting things going on in this fic AHHHH, Oh and the ending is just like super sweet and wonderful and so good? The end balances out the kind of horrific nature of the rest of the fic. Also if any of that sounds insulting I really don't mean it that way, I promise. I went in to it expecting to be freaked out and it delivered so well.

Yes Father - a Joel series by @chloeangelic

Your boring catholic husband doesn't fuck you right and you really want to leave him, so Father Joel helps you satisfy your needs so you don't destroy your marriage and go to hell. I love blasphemy. It's hot idc. I think my favorite thing about it is Father Joel randomly admonishing you for foul language and taking the lord's name in vain while he's literally got some part of his body buried in yours. I giggled. I really adore this. It was super fun and super hot.

Pillow Talk - a Joel one shot by @theboredinsomniac

Joel is soooo the jealous type. This fic is basically y'all having an adult conversation about him being an insecure jealous little bitch and it's got the most adorable ending.

Born to Run - a Marcus Pike series by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Penny's Marcus is just perfect. Every damn time. Unless I'm mistaken, this was her first Marcus fic? I was in the mood for a sweet multichapter thing with some hot smut and I was sooooo not disappointed by this. I'm on chapter 8 now, so about halfway through. Marcus is so sweet and precious and still impulsive as ever, but unlike Theresa, reader is right there with him. I really adore that this fic takes place in KY (and it really captures the vibe of Kentucky too) since I'm from there! I very much do not relate to the fact that reader is a marathon runner, but that's okay. I think it's really cool and I love the way they meet and that Marcus isn't fully a white knight? She can take care of herself. Super fucking cute fic ugh. Oh yeah and the smut is to die for jesus christ Marcus is hot.

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Happy Reading!

[therealslimshakespeare]

Note of credit to my babies @stylespresleyhearted & @eliseinmemphis -much and many of these thots originate from their juicy little brains and the chats we have on our unhinged discord, they magnanimously agreed that it was worth sharing with any of y’all who might get a kick out of it.

Main Fic Masterlist

“Biopic”

Sofia makes her Priscilla Film.

But despite this, somehow, Gigi becomes friends with Jacob. So instead of the pitting Austin and Jacob against each other because of Elvis portrayals -and, as Gigi likes to call it “Miss Beaulieu’s Latest” -we get pap pics of Austin, Gigi,

and Jacob out for breakfast/dinner dates. Jacob may entertain petty notions of stealing Gigi from Austin due to Kaia Revenge Syndrome. Gigi assures him she likes him just fine, even if he’s too tall and pinched faced to play her man and much too skinny to really carry any real gravitas. ☺️

she just collects Elvises. it’s what she does.

In fact, older MILF Gigi, who has come out of her long reclusion and is now wreaking havoc on the world with her pretty toy boy actor boyfriend, is now a fiend to Young Hollywood. I mean, this is the woman who Elvis bought Vogue Mag for, just to feature her more often. Now sharing rights with Lovey, she retakes an interest in those editorials and in art and fashion in general. Our world suffers benefits from it. She has a group chat with just about every eligible young man clique, a girls gossip one and a very messy and lurching one of Baron (her son’s) exs.

Then, imagine who might tackle a Gigi Biopic?

Uncensored and unrestrained, a fuckfest of unapologetic love and insanity between a twenty year old and a man over twice her senior who she loved without boundaries all his life? Hmm.

Maybe Emerald Fennel. We do already have tub slurping, c’mon now.

A scene of Gigi practicing on a random truck driver makes it onto the film. Casting difficulties arise when Baron objects to anyone who he’s had relations with playing his mother. That nixes 89% of the blondes in Hollywood.

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[shychick-52]

'Day of the Sorcerers' is an even deeper study of Cedric's complex, tormented character than I thought at first. Now, there were a TON of amazing callbacks and symbolism in his incredible song (My Evil Dreams) to his friendship with Sofia and his painful conflict over whether their friendship or his evil dreams were ultimately more important. Here's two examples of incredible symbolism (one is from the song, the other is later in the episode)...

During his fantasy of becoming king, the rubies in the crown are clearly the same rubies Sofia made/gave him way back in 'Cedric's Apprentice':

I think the rubies in the crown represent (like the song in general) how deeply torn he is over his ambitions and her friendship. And it was a good callback to how similarly torn he was back in 'Cedric's Apprentice' after Sofia left him the rubies she transformed with his guidance (arranging them into a heart shape)... back then, he only just started to see her as a friend; what makes the song/symbolism in My Evil Dreams so powerful is how far their friendship had evolved since then and how much she's come to mean to him, which he can't deny.

Later, when Cedric freezes the rest of the royal family and takes the throne, it's not Roland's throne he takes and transforms, oddly enough- it's Sofia's:

I was talking to @bettathanyou about it recently. We think a possibility is that the symbolism reflects the tragedy of Cedric originally choosing his misguided ambition over her friendship, and the grim reality of that choice.

And then Betta went on to add that it also likely reflects Cedric's true desires deep down, which isn't power, but friendship and love and acceptance and support- all of which he's always had in abundance in Sofia (but always forced himself to believe it wasn't enough, which was part of his tragedy). Cedric always claimed he wanted to be king, but he doesn't even take THE KING'S THRONE! He takes Sofia's throne, and we all know what Sofia represents- love, kindness, friendship, respect! All the things Cedric truly wanted, so of course he would take her seat and morph it into his own!

I absolutely agreed with Betta. And then I summed it up by suggesting that it perfectly reflects how even tho on the surface he appeared to choose his ambitions over her friendship, he subconsciously still valued and craved her friendship above all.

And this is something else I noticed ONLY last night after watching this episode again. Cedric transformed Sofia's throne (and the surrounding pillars) to be raven-themed, symbolizing his "loyal" familiar and friend. But as we know, Wormwood never cared about Cedric or had any confidence in his abilities- he only cared about serving a powerful, evil master and becoming powerful by association, which was the only reason he ever stuck by Cedric and did all he could to help him steal Sofia's amulet. It's also why he so obviously manipulated Cedric in the song 'My Evil Dreams' when he was so torn, pushing him to choose vengeance and power over Sofia's friendship: "The princess may be nice to you / But what about the rest? / All those who point and laugh at you / Must see that you're the best!" (And ofc, Wormwood would eventually abandon Cedric, because he finally realized that Cedric turning over a new leaf meant he was of no more use to his own plans for power).

So, the symbolism in having raven-themed decor in/around what was once Sofia's throne is that it represents the difference between his relationships with Sofia and Wormwood- the purity of Sofia's true friendship and the toxicity of his relationship with Wormwood.

@bettathanyou @fantadym @moonypears-blog