#we love a sad deacon

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[dxsole]

@americanzealot | Cont. from X

"He's a very stubborn person, isn't he?" Deacon quietly questions to no one in particular. His head bobs in agreement with himself before motioning for his team to follow. "Delta team, would you be so kind as to flank the officers. Take them out from the rear and do it as quietly as possible— Echo team you're with me. We essentially will be cutting them off at the pass."

What should have been routine is now becoming a shitshow, but that seemed to be James' m.o. as far as Deacon knew. He's read enough about the other to know that he was a liability in every sense of the word but also very difficult to dispose of. His luck with survival knew no bounds and Deacon is actually rather relieved that he hadn't been sent to kill James.

It only took a matter of minutes, a black armored team walking in unison towards the fray. To the untrained eye, it just looked like SWAT had just entered the building, the only difference being the lack of lettering on their jackets and the fact that a rather posh man in a three-piece suit and bulletproof vest strolled on behind them.

One team did indeed creep up behind the officers, silencers making a subtle ping as each one is shot at the base of the neck, the start of the spine— Deacon had chosen his team very carefully, only hiring former sharpshooters from various military units throughout Europe. It made the whole process less messy.

There's a lot of yelling, demanding— it's all very uncouth as far as Deacon is concerned. So, up the stairs they march, again a quiet symphony of pops following more and more officers going down and staying down—

And then he sees the girl. "Oh, poor dear," She doesn't know what's happening, but she was just held hostage, tossed into the fray, and then witnessed policemen being shot down by what could be seen as their own men. It's certainly a predicament.

"Don't fret, we will be dealing with the rather rude man that threw you down the stairs in a moment. Shh, shh, no need to cry." As the rest of his team climbed the stairwell after James and the last remaining dregs of law enforcement, Deacon plucks a handkerchief from his inner pocket, handing it to her to clean herself up.

She offers it back with mascara stains and snot. "No, no...you can keep that. Now, love, can you tell me if the rude man upstairs said anything to you? I understand you've been through quite a shock, but it could be very important." He spoke more like the priest he had been training to be rather than a mercenary.

"—He's out of bullets."

Deacon's brow raises and he nods. "See? Now that is very important. Alright, you listen to me now, love. I want you to go with this nice man here— Charles for Pete's sake lower the gun, take off your helmet...Yes, very good, now escort the lady to the car. Please see to it that she gets medical attention and calls her family, yes?" She would be shot in the car, far away from Deacon and his sympathies. He knows it but he doesn't think it's very kind to cause her to panic. Hope was always better than the anticipation of death, in his mind. "Very good, now, follow Charles, love. Thank you for your help."

It's only a few more steps to James— Deacon enters, his men posed at the ready, artillery aimed at James' head, the final heap of police at their feet. Apparently, a lot had happened while he was tending to the girl.

"My goodness, this must be confusing to you." Deacon murmurs, stepping over the heap like it was his own personal red carpet. "I must begin by saying I am not with local law enforcement. Or federal. Or international for that matter." He almost feels prompted to exclude intergalactic as well, be he doesn't think James would appreciate a joke at this sensitive time. "It should also be noted that these men are not here to detain or kill you— the guns will remain raised, however, as your reputation does proceed you, James."

Someone from the back comes out with a fold-out chair, propping it open before Deacon settles himself down, looking far too relaxed for all that's occurred. "My name is Deacon Monday. I'm a friend from across the pond." Friend is perhaps too strong of a descriptor, but Deacon continues anyway.

"My employer is from England as well. You may or may not have heard of him, it doesn't," He's already waving it off. "Doesn't even really matter if you know who he is, just that you can probably piece together that he's very well funded and has a large reach." Deacon, pushes his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. "He has asked me to track you down and ask you a few questions; mainly about specific people you've killed— would it be alright to discuss that with you now?" Not that he left Jimmy with much of a choice.

[hpysprkl]

Hell yes it is, you can come sit with me.

Hey guys is fallout 4 still cool? I’m autistically in love ☹️

[fuckyeahdeaky]

Do you guys ever think about how John Deacon most probably has albums of unseen photos somewhere in his house. Because it has been stated over and over again in many books and interviews that John absolutely loved to take photos/pictures. And he'd follow people around with a camera and catch them off guard. It kinda makes me so sad to think about it. Because those photos were obviously taken by John because he wanted to capture those happy memories. Of course those photos tells the story from his perspective and experiences yet we will most probably never see these photos. Also the probability of him never taking these albums out to go over the photos because it makes him sad to think about his past makes me wanna cry idk maybe I'm just over imagining things. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[goodneighborxfallout]

How would the companions react to Little Lamplight and Mayor Maccready?

Thanks for requesting!

Cait:

Little Lamplight: “It may seem cruel for these children to have to live like this but… I think I would prefer this over my own childhood, you know?” 

MacCready: “Not a hope that this little shithead and MacCready are the same person! Way too polite, that bloke.” 

Codsworth:

Little Lamplight: “A society run by children? Oh mum/sir, I don’t dare imagine little Shaun having to grow up in a place like this.” 

MacCready: “Oh dear, such hostility from a child? I suppose I can’t expect anything different. These poor kids never had any proper adult guidance! Sir/mum, I propose we send a Ms Nanny their way!” 

Curie:

Little Lamplight: “Oh, this is just horrible! No child should have to survive in these conditions! Isn’t there anything we can do to help them?” 

MacCready: “Such vulgarity! Has no one got manners anymore in this world?” 

Danse:

Little Lamplight: “Look what the war did to these children! This is yet more proof of why technology in the hands of the wrong people can have devastating consequences!” 

MacCready: “The exact attitude one would expect from someone who’d grow up to be a mercenary.” (Mac: “What’s that supposed to mean??”) 

Deacon:

Little Lamplight: “A parentless life is a sad reality for many children in the wastes. However morbid this may look, they’ve been managing well.”

MacCready: Deacon will try to convince mayor MacCready that he’s just a really tall child. On top of that, he will forever call adult MacCready ‘mungo’ and make up countless different reasons for how he knows that term.

Gage:

Little Lamplight: “Interesting set-up. I guess they’re pretty safe here from outside threats, except - you know - the gigantic green monsters next door.” (insert sarcasm)

MacCready: “Kid, you have no idea the kind of company I’ve had to deal with all these years. You wanna rile me up? Then stray away from your vanilla boring ass insults ‘cause I ain’t impressed.” 

Hancock:

Little Lamplight: “Huh, cozying up right next to a super mutant den? Either these kids are incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. Probably an unhealthy mix of both.” 

MacCready: “So this is the origin story of our favorite mercenary? Hm, I’ll admit, almost as good as mine.” 

Longfellow:

Little Lamplight: Longfellow won’t say anything, but a profound sadness washes over him at the sight in front of him. If somewhere deep down he still had hope for the world, it was now for sure fully taken away.

MacCready: “Youngsters these days…” 

MacCready:

“Ahh the good old times.” 

Nick:

Little Lamplight: “I can’t tell if I’m more impressed by their tenacity, or more disappointed that they need it to survive.” 

MacCready: “Well, behind every hardened mercenary, there is some kind of tragic backstory, isn’t there?” He sighs. “Maybe I’ve been too hard on the kid.” 

Piper:

Little Lamplight: “Oh god… I’ve always known the Wasteland was hard but… these are children. They should be getting raised by two loving parents not living like… this.”

MacCready: Piper’s always known MacCready as a chill mercenary who tries a bit too hard to flirt with her. She’s never paid much attention to him, but seeing him as a child living in these circumstances, she suddenly finds herself looking at him in a completely different light. 

Preston:

Little Lamplight: “This is why we have to bring back the Minutemen! Children deserve to grow up in a safe place, not hiding out in a cave.”

MacCready: “Damn… With how chill he is, you’d never guess he had this kind of childhood. Certainly explains why he’s so good at his job though.” 

Strong:

Little Lamplight: “Not safe for small human! Brother smash small human!” 

MacCready: “Small human talk too much!” 

X6-88:

Little Lamplight: “And here I thought I’d already seen the worst of the surface.” 

MacCready: “Interesting. Somehow the child version seems tougher than the adult.”

[xiaq]

How is Denver so far compared to Austin?

I quite prefer Denver, but I'm biased for a few reasons.

Austin makes me sad. Austin now is not the Austin I grew up in/the Austin I loved. And nostalgia for a place that no longer exists while still technically existing leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Did you know that the greenbelt and all its trails and climbing walls used to feature a creek that never dried up? The level might fluctuate, but it ran all year round, fed by springs from the aquifer. You could climb until you got overheated and then go sit in the water for a bit to recover. Now, after years of extreme heat, persistent droughts, and people pumping water out of the aquifer, it's just miles of dry rock with small trees growing in it, that occasionally floods when it rains. I can't climb there without feeling...I don't even know how to describe it. Like I'm walking over the corpse of an old friend.

Denver gives us a community. In Denver, we live in a walkable/bikable community within 2 miles (or much less) of our grocery store, restaurants, a gluten-free bakery, coffee shops, our climbing gym, and several friends. I've seen more people in person in the last three weeks here than I did in the previous 3 months in Austin. One of my friends jogs by every afternoon. Others live at the park I walk Deacon to in the mornings. People just...drop in to see us/how house renovations are going spur-of-the-moment because they were literally walking by/on their way home. Community is so important to me and I have that here in a way I didn't in Austin.

Terrain. Texas is so damn flat. I get a thrill driving to Home Depot here because I can see mountains in the distance. Our rooftop deck looks at the mountains. I can be in the mountains after a less than 30-minute drive. I had to drive for hours to get to a hill in Austin. Here, mountains are just...present in a comforting way.

The seasons. Austin doesn't have seasons. Here, we have gorgeous sunny weather most of the time but the trees change color in the fall and we currently have snow! Deacon LOVES snow. Probably even more than me. There is something so delightful about taking a walk while it's snowing. When the whole world is quiet and white and still. Even after living in one of the snowiest places in the US for a year, snow is still so novel to me. Big fan.

Travel. I can walk to the train station from our house, which will take me to the airport in 25 minutes. And Denver is a hub for Southwest which means tons of direct flights at low costs (to places like Austin!). I also have a companion pass for Southwest, which means I can take B (or anyone else I please) with me for free on any Southwest flight. Which is very handy. B's mom has already visited us twice (coming again this weekend) because there are quick direct flights from Phoenix she can take advantage of. The negatives are the cost of living and the fact that the homeless population is large and the city doesn't seem to have the appropriate resources (or perhaps willingness) to address it. But those are both issues that plague Austin as well. The only thing I miss about Austin is the ability to see my parents whenever I want. My mom is coming to visit in two weeks and we're hoping to coax my dad out when it warms up a bit (and we have the guest rooms ready), but I definitely miss them.

[spadesolace]

the idea of yoo - 1.4. what even is love? (written)

previous | next

“you sure about joining me for this service?” you looked at rei who was also putting her shoes on. nodding in confirmation that she does want to do this.

“i wouldn’t worry much about you being bored. father lee would keep you entertained.”

“why?”

“he says some… out of pocket things.”

rei looks at you confused as you fix her top. the sad smile is still evident in your features but not quite like the weeks before. an entire month, you were busy to say the least; working on backlogs and gaining extra for you and rei - mostly for rei.

the mass was quite the usual, you did have a responsibility for being the pianist to which you have to start looking for a new one.

your gaze travels around the people sitting below, rei is right next to you, looking around the amount of instruments just for you.

there’s jimin… i really messed up.

jimin lost her spark, the same gleam you saw when first meeting had been gone - like a star after a supernova, becoming a black hole. hoping that wasn’t the case for the shining star that is yoo jimin.

yeonjun was late, sitting next to his dad, who had quite the expression for whatever they were talking about. he still looked the same from the day he found out - disappointed, sad, and confused.

deacon yoo became white noise to you, you’ve heard the same message time and time again but you weren’t expecting jeno to stand in front. if rei was bored, this got her attention.

“thank you. love! what is love? love is patient, it is kind. it does not envy nor boast, it is not proud… which is why i love this little lady.”

if the heartbreak from the past month didn’t hurt, what jeno would say next will.

“and why - she’d make me a fantastic wife. Jimin, will you-“

“NO!” 

everyone turns around, yeonjun and jimin finally looks at you after a month. you were hoping not in this way, not letting your emotions get the best of you.

“i- uh- i just wanted to add that…” you maintained eye contact with jimin, within the friendship you had developed with yeonjun within the past months you learned one phrase. fuck it, we ball.

“love is-”

“love isn’t pretending.” yeonjun cut you off, taking a deep breath and a quick glance at deacon yoo then to jimin, looking at him so intently. “i know because i’ve been pretending. only for a few months, but it sucks.”

“yeon…” he’s being careful with his wording - not to cause mayhem in the small chapel. one that would make everyone question life and the little town that is kwangya.

“what sucks more is having to pretend to be - not you - your whole life.” that was directed at you, only yeonjun and rei know about it. 

“my whole life, i thought there was only one way to love, but there’s more. so many more - and i don’t wanna be the guy that stops someone loving… the way they want to love.” the yeonjun you first met months ago wasn’t like this. you knew him as the tall guy with pink hair and dances every now and then. he’s matured, understood where you were coming from, and he accepted it.

deacon yoo cuts him off, assuming this whole fiasco is done and getting ready to bring the attention back to jeno, the star of the show, the golden boy of the town, the one who everyone believed jimin is destined for. within years of observing, you learned one thing from yeonjun and jeno; fuck it, we ball.

“i also have been pretending…” gasps throughout the chapel, deacon yoo has given up at this point.

“i know where this is going, naoi y/n. i’m flattered, really, but you and i wo-”

“jeno, for once in your life - can it. i’ve been writing your assignments for the entirety of high school so stop acting like the hero in this story.” he shuts up, backs away and sits down next to father lee. taking a deep breath, you look back at jimin who has been looking at you for a while now.

“if you’ll forgive me, i will just rewrite you one last time.” you look at yeonjun who finally looks up at you, a sad smile, teary eyes, and flushed cheeks - nodding to let you continue on.

“love isn’t patient, kind, humble… love is messy, deceiving, selfish, and… bold.” jimin is confused as you walk down the stairs from the balcony. rei recording everything that is happening and you just let it.

“it’s not finding your perfect half. it’s about trying and reaching, and failing - despite the effort you put in with no promise of success. love is being willing to try something new.” a quick glance at yeonjun, he smiles at you, urging you to continue on.

“love is admiring your favorite art, despite it being overrated - but despite everyone looking your way and admitting that you are no different from the rest. yet, you are. the good thing about being different is that no one expects you to be like them.” everything finally clicks to jimin, from the letters, your actions, how different yeonjun is compared to the letters and conversations she had with him.

“love is accepting them for who they are despite the deception - making them fall for the idea of you.”

“you.”

“... yeah.”

you hold your breath, jimin makes her way. assuming she’d go after you - slap you, scream even, but no. she walks towards yeonjun, somewhat apologetic eyes and a loud smack was all you heard as she leaves. everything goes into mayhem. you started this.

“AMEN!” father lee shouted as everyone started screaming, fighting, having some bits and pieces of realization. yeonjun and his father talking, you couldn’t hear it but all you could is them hugging each other then the sudden scream from mr. choi.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” yeonjun turn his head away from his father smacking him in the head, a smile towards you and a thumbs up. mouthing we good? you nod as you sign him to cover his head for another smack from his father.

“come on, let’s get going. that’s enough of this chaotic mess.” rei pulls you out of the chapel, letting the noise die down as you walk out and head on home.

taglist [CLOSED]:

@1luvkarina @beawolfbealionbeyou @pandafuriosa60 @txtbrainrot @rinapomu @limbforalimb @yoontoonwhs @noascats @thefckghost @petruchiosstuff

[p4n1cl0v3r]

hello.. im back from reading them.. uh and HUGE spoiler warning, like spoilers for everything cuz i cant keep my mouth shut.. this is also really long so im so sorry if you actually read this 😭😭 i just wanted to yap

OHMYGOD!?

ok. so. chase is burnt out, thats rlly sad 😭 hope he isnt too burnt out that its effecting him way more than he can handle,

his beach boys outfit is adorable. deacon not being on the island and chase being stuck with buddy i knew was gonna be terrible from the start. when i saw chase hand buddy a water bottle to light the fire i thought it was sweet that they were getting along, same with buddy telling chase he can have the second fish.

at first, i thought buddy was hearing the whispers so i didnt really think much of it.

the “buddy being a vampire and chase freaking out” was really funny, i found that hilarious and just chase thinking buddy was cute (even if he said it was in “a jerk way”, it was still nice and i wonder how that will go down (after the most recent chapter)

buddys face when chase pulled the chocolate out looked like a dog seeing a ball, it was adorable ngl

my heart sank when chase made a comment about buddy not being treated well and then buddy shivered.. like hm i seriously wonder how he actually is being treated, yk? like all we see of him is him being a jerk and just genuinely not giving a shit about anyone or anything (until the most recent chapter in which ill get into that in a second..)

deacon was not having a fun time with the seagulls 😭😭😭 rip deacon 😔

the way chase bribed buddy with the last bar of chocolate was so funny

chase hit buddy in the face with a ball 😃👍🏼

buddy then threw chase in the ocean and called him tiny (damn bro making fun of his height, its okay chase is just fun sized ☠️)

buddy with curly wet hair felt weird but it looked nice on him

i found it sweet that chase wanted to help buddy, even if all buddy has been towards him was rude. shows what type of person chase is and it makes me love his character so much, everyone needs their own chase lol

i know buddys main goal is to get the keys, and so it would be very unlikely that he would throw that away to become friends with chase, but man. when chase called him out on it and the shattered heart image in the background… awh man.

the small fight they had was sad, but once buddy left chase was sitting on the ground crying, i may be wrong but i dont think we have seen him crying until now, right? brb lemme go check

ok i like reread the entire thing and few times we saw him cry was when we saw him visit myra for the first time in the story (that we see ofc) and it was just for a split second, and also in the same episode visiting his fathers grave, he seemed to cry a smige more but thats all.

+ while doing the research for that, i realized that in the very first episode chase got a black eye and when he went out of the book, he didnt have it anymore. so (again ill get into this when i get into the most recent chapter and what happened then) but at the same time, the second episode was more of a “hey! this is how this mess started!” sorta thing, so we dont know the timing of it.

in the morning when chase wakes up and sees buddy, from the way buddy is speaking im pretty sure he was upset about the conversation the night before too, as he’s never been that violent with anything towards chase before. im not saying buddy is a violent person, but at the same time, its concerning a bit how he took “the two characters have an argument “ and his anger took over him and make it a hostile argument instead of verbal.

“and if they do make you miserable, you deserve it” hm i get that chase is upset, i mean buddy is quite literally being a psychopath at this point in the story, but man.. when i read that i was just in amazement that that came to mind, i dont blame the guy ofc but still. didnt go over well, buddy seemed to be pretty affected by it, which brings up again, i do genuinely wonder how the ex libris is treating him to make him so easily shaken / angry when its brought up.

buddy hurt chase. now to be fair, chase sorta (i think) kicked him and made buddy land face first in the sand etc. but he didnt draw blood. buddy drew blood, now what i noticed when this happened is buddys first instinct was to drop the spear and instantly basically panic. its clear he didnt genuinely mean to hurt chase, but he still did.

now as said above, we dont know if these injuries can travel from book to real life, as we dont have solid proof that they do. but its obvious, even if its fake, that the characters still feel it, so that must have hurt a lot (ofc it did lynx you dumbass bro is literally bleeding on his face 😒) but if they do travel to the real world, how is chase going to hide it? its a slash under his eye on his cheek, decent size too. doesnt seem that easy to cover. i mean, he does have like 47 skin care products so maybe he can cover it with that somehow but im not sure

back onto the point above, buddy’s first instinct was to (first pause and stare) and then drop the spear, making it clear he didnt mean nor, even want to hurt chase maybe. buddy is usually good with his words and with what he says, it all comes out perfectly as if he is reading a script when he speaks. he was choking on his words, “trying” to explain why that happened.

“n-no, i-“ “i didnt mean that, i just-“ “i wasnt…”

he was obviously not prepared, nor did he want to. again, he was after the keys, he wasn’t after hurting anyone.

(which this is all quite obvious, however i love to yap and i have no friends in person that also like cinderella boy so shush let me nerd out for a sec)

it kinda felt uncomfortable seeing buddy so.. what’s the word? unsettled? upset? surprised? one of those, maybe all three. this entire episode for the most part felt off putting, buddy not being his “ha i dont care, just go away” persona and instead getting pissy (more that usual) and even upset at the end. it just didnt feel right and its so obvious that after this the next story that chase goes into (if he continues) will be so different compared to these when it comes to interactions with buddy.

“youre just a scum, you know that?” YIKES BRO 😭💀💀 chase is uh yeah i just wanted to mention that line

seeing chase with tears in his eyes, obviously looking genuinely scared and saying “all i wanted to do was help” HURT MY SOUL. again, mentioned above, we rarely see him cry, and the only times we did was when visiting his sick mom and his fathers grave. thats it. the fact that hes cried now twice because of something buddy has done is huge, dont ya think?

chase ran away crying, which ykw i dont blame him, buddy’s body language was also a huge giveaway that he genuinely felt bad because again, hes usually so confident in the way he poses, and from the moment he hurt chase to the end of the episode, he was holding himself, just standing there.

also the fact that the last panel is one of the chocolate bar wrappers blowing towards buddy’s feet was also interesting. like putting salt water into a cut yk? (haha get it cuz theyre on a beach island and chase has a cut.. haha.. okay sorry)

SUMMARY/THEORIES

okay so these were a LOT to take in, and chase being already burnt out might be a reason he cried so easily, but you never know. i think buddy gaining chase’s trust without trying and KNOWING (or probably knowing) he had chases trust and just not caring and broke it without a thought kinda sucks, but as said TWICE. we dont know his situation. for example, what if he will get hurt or someone around him will if he doesnt get these keys? we dont know why he does what he does so we cant really excuse nor can we blame him.

i saw them getting along and from that second i knew it was going to end terribly.

my theory is, that when deacon comes back he will see chase hurt and upset, and buddy either will be no where in sight (very likely) or he will be very quiet and not making a single noise in the background. deacon will see chase, probably be really confused and then realize who chase was around. now, im not that great at reading characters.. unless like i study them HARD so all this next stuff just might be bs, but ima say it anyways because its tumblr.

now, i think once they get out of the book, deacon will beg chase to tell him what happened, if he didnt already in the book, even if deacon already knows without saying. deacon, being deacon, will probably panic, and either 1) try to convince chase its a bad idea to continue. 2) try to convince chase to take a break and make deacon do them for a small period of time (very unlikely). or 3) deacon will be hesitant to continue, but if they do then he will be a lot more protective of chase, and possibly look more into books completely without any sort of villain.

its obvious there could ALSO be other scenarios, but these are the ones i came up with. another is that chase could stop completely, and just give up. but thats HIGHLY unlikely as its literally part of the story and silver and bronze will probably try to support him.

now, with the chase and buddy dynamic… oh wowie. this is a slow burn enemies to lovers story, which means this wont be miserable for a long time, however it still asks the question “well how are they going to react towards one another” and my GOOD friends, who the fuck knows. (punko thats who)

however! its impossible for them to go along and pretend it never happened, because its clear they were both hurt by it. even if it wasnt completely just physically. maybe buddy will stop appearing in the books for a second? what if he’s replaced by another member? ikik unlikely. okok, well what if in the stories buddy just stays quiet and entirely follows along with his character? i feel like that wouldnt last long and i dont think buddys that much of a jerk to try and dodge it. chase? i feel like chase would try to dodge it, i mean after this he has to fear buddy a little right? they could also be a lot meaner to one another, but i also see that as very unlikely. i can see chase being more cold, but for some reason i cant imagine buddy being as rude as he was in the beginning, or even rude to being with.

all in all, i really dont know what theory to go with, MAN I WANNA NERD OUT MORE ABT THIS. 😭😭😭 (yk w someone who will actually listen cuz my friends irl dont give a shit)

holy shnizer that was a lot of words... okay well if you read all of that then we might as well be friends cuz man i talk a lot about subjects i like.. BUT YEA. WILD RIDE. WOWIE.

me when it comes to cinderella boy:

[sassenashsworld]

FALLOUT 4 HEADCANONS

It is quite HeadCanon for me that Danse is able to make imitations, that he does them, and that he is even good at it. Well, maybe it’s because Peter Jessop has this talent and the day I heard him imitate his children, he made me laugh so much it's have stick. But, at least, that’s the same effect when Danse decides to make an imitation, like when he makes fun of Nora. And it’s so surprising from such a man, so serious, so… strict? (to be polite) When he decides to make an imitation to mock someone, no one can resist, everyone laughs. Especially when he imitates so well the tone of Nora despite his own excessively masculine voice.

It is totally HeadCanon that MacCready loves to experiment with all the ideas that come into his head, even if it’s completely absurd and anyone could say that it doesn’t make sense. Listen, this poor guy grew up in a cave with a bunch of kids, and the only way they could learn was to test. Everything! No basic knowledge! No school! No older, more experienced, wiser person to give them at least a few advices. "Is this mushroom good to eat?" Oh, he wasn’t, the guy died… But it also explains how MacCready came up with the idea of using a Mutfruit for…. something… intimate. I mean… WHO WOULD USE SUCH A FRUIT IN THIS WAY??? Well, he wondered about it, tried it, and it wasn’t so bad…

It is so HeadCanon that HANCOCK is the one who most encourage the strange ideas of things to test that MacCready can have. The ghoul is having a blast with the young! I mean, John Hancock, his story, his background, everything is so sad and horrible that the guy isn’t even able to be alone and sober with himself. He must get a little bit of fun, right? And he does. Asking MacCready some ridiculous questions. And of course, MacCready will try to see if it can… You see where I get?

It’s really HeadCanon that Deacon discovered the crazy fun Hancock takes in having some ridiculous stuff tested by MacCready. And that at first, he used this information as leverage to get some favors from Hancock. But Hancock only played the game for a while, talking out Deacon to keep extorting him, and convinced him to fuck it up with Mac. And it became a drug for Deacon. Whenever he is in Goodneighbor, he does NOT miss to visit MacCready and offer him an idea… ideally the most twisted possible. And Deacon has such an interesting way of presenting the thing that MacCready can never resist it and always ends up falling into the trap. He should have understood, by now, but his learning method is so dangerous and random, and Deacon looks so sincerely sorry when it fails, that Mac never had suspects anything…

We can never convince me that it is not HeadCanon, limit Canon, that Nick loves to read. He likes nothing more than sitting quietly at his desk late in the evening, reading through the remnants of pages that he may have found while investigating on a case or another. He spends a lot of time, when he walks by Goodneighbor, discussing with Daisy the new novel he has got his hands on. And don't be fool, the old detective, even if obviously he loves noir novels, doesn't stick only to that. He likes to read EVERYTHING. Poetry, soap opera, religious book, scientific articles. Whatever he puts his hand on, he reads it. Sosu often thinks that if they could get their hands on his core memory, there would be treasures of knowledge. Instead, they sit next to him at the end of the evening and Nick reads out loud for hours for them.

[amazinglyegg]

companions react to sole crying when they raise their voice at them

AWW this one's sad

For clarity I'm going with the idea that the companions aren't yelling at Sole out of anger (like, a low affinity talk) but more like they're either scolding Sole over something minor ("you could have gotten hurt! Be careful!") or ranting out loud about something unrelated and Sole is very sensitive to that sort of thing!

Companions react: Sole crying when yelled at

Includes Cait, Codsworth, Curie, Deacon, Desdemona, Danse, Hancock, Haylen, Maccready, Nick, Piper, Preston, Rhys, X6-88

Cait

Uhh. Fuck.

Cait is probably Least Capable of dealing with a crying person

First instinct might be to use tough love because that's what she uses on herself and it works fine

Like "Oh come on suck it up, it wasn't even that bad"

Actually starts to feel bad after a few moments though and will change trajectory into something more gentle

Gladly lets Sole have alone time if they ask because she really needs a minute to try and think of what to say

If Sole comes back completely ignoring what happened she'll also ignore it, but if they continue to seem upset she'll make the first move and actually apologizes

Very awkward with it, every sentence is like she's testing the waters for Sole's reaction.

The apology IS genuine, though, and Sole can tell just by how awkward she is about it. She won't just brush it off if Sole won't brush it off.

Codsworth

IMMEDIATE GUILT

Poor Codsworth would do a complete 180 and start comforting Sole

Sort of has a hard time if they want to be alone to collect themself, he's worried they'll hate him forever (he has a bit of separation anxiety after being alone for 200 years)

Will note exactly what made Sole cry and will never talk about that topic with that voice again

Like if they cried because he was worried about them getting hurt every interaction like that afterwards will be "You NEED to take better care of - I mean, please take better care of yourself please"

Curie

If Curie is raising her voice at Sole she's probably scolding them for not taking care of their health

She wants them to take care of themself but she didn't mean to make them so guilty they cry!!

She'll immediately comfort them and apologize for being so strict

100% mom friend, will not stop apologizing and trying to make it up to them via food and comfort

Gives Sole a hug and a forehead kiss and tucks them into bed with a warm cup of soup. Maybe cries a little

Probably tries to stand up for them on their behalf in the future, like if someone yells at them she'll scold the person yelling for being mean

Deacon

Ah shit

Deacon prides himself on being able to stay calm during conflict and read the other persons facial expressions, it's his job after all

But anger always managed to get to him somehow, and it made him ignore the small signs that Sole was getting stressed out

He wasn't even upset at them, he was just having a bad day, but he knew he fucked up the second their face scrunched up and they looked away

They're crying. Sole is crying because of him

Might try to fix things by making jokes but if he realizes Sole is genuinely upset he'll probably end up leaving and giving Sole their space

He leaves them to cry for a while and comes back once they've calmed down so he can sincerely apologize

Tries to make Sole feel better for the next few days by pulling some strings

Their favorite animal is brahmin? What a coincidence, Des is telling us to go to a safe house with a huge brahmin farm! They really like Blamco Mac and Cheese? Deacon just found a HUGE stash behind HQ, we better eat it!

Desdemona

Just kinda. Freezes.

This never happened before?? And either she doesn't really know Sole that well (agents faces tend to get confusing since so many come and go) and doesn't know what to say, or they're like, the best agent in the Railroad and she's very worried that she managed to make them cry.

Tries to brush it off as smoothly as possible and excuses them somewhere private to calm down so at least they're not crying in front of everyone

If she's closer with Sole she'll actively search them out herself and apologize directly

If not she'll honestly probably go to Deacon or someone first being like "Are they pissed at me?? Should I apologize or do I pretend it didn't happen?"

Might take the silent approach of giving Sole less work/more support and makes the mental reminder not to yell at them

Danse

Listen, this man is used to reprimanding people. He can practically do it in his sleep

But when he hears Sole burst into tears? He immediately loses all train of thought

He's probably the type of person to go "... Are you crying?" because this has never really happened to him before

Super worried that he's pushed Sole too far, regrets even yelling at them in the first place

Doesn't really know what to do, ends up waiting for Sole to make the first move (explain themself, run away, etc)

If he isn't as close with Sole he'll probably hesitantly give them space - it's what he would want if he burst into tears

If they're close/romanced he'll default to trying to talk to them and calm them down

He is a bit awkward and tends to fumble a lot, so Sole may have to be direct with what they need from him (Space, comfort, apology, etc) but Danse will do basically anything to get them to calm down

Like a person who is very bad at dealing with a crying toddler: "no no don't cry... Here's some candy... and twenty bucks... we can get ice cream if you want just please stop crying"

Hancock

I imagine Hancock to be a pretty touchy guy, so if Sole started crying his go-to comfort is by hugging them or rubbing their arm/back

He has high energy and expresses himself loudly so he realizes that he can be overwhelming at times

He'll quiet down and focus on comforting them and getting them what they need

Absolute KING at respecting their space and autonomy

The only thing worse than crying is crying in public so he's bringing them to a quiet room and letting them cry it out distraction free. They make the tiniest action that seems like they don't want to be touched and he'll back off, no questions asked

Also a bit of the "poorly dealing with a crying toddler" person: "You want chems?? No? Candy?? Would it make you feel better if you punched me??"

Haylen

Very empathetic towards Sole, immediately switches to a "Oh, hey, come on, it's okay..." type of voice

She gets that the Brotherhood is overbearing and it can take a while to get used to being reprimanded/spoken to in such a harsh way

If she's spent a good amount of time around Sole she's probably pretty in tune with their emotional needs and can work with that

Sole won't even have to ask, she'll just show up with some hot chocolate and a blanket, or apologize, or pretend like it never happened, or any mixture of those

A little worried and overprotective of them for a while after, though, especially if she's already worried about their mental health

Might talk to them to try and see what's wrong or convince them to take a break

Maccready

Another member of the "Wait... are you crying?" group.

Panics, probably. Doesn't know what to do or what to say.

He'll end up apologizing to them either way

If he's close with Sole he's more likely to do so first and more quickly, if not he might wait to gauge Sole's reaction before talking to them

A little bit awkward but he's got the spirit, will probably try to understand what made them cry and what he can do to make sure it doesn't happen in the future

Will also do a sort of follow-up check in after the fact or if they're having a rough day some other time

Tries a lot to stay more in-tune with Sole's emotions and what makes them upset after this point so they don't end up crying again because of him

Nick Valentine

For Nick to raise his voice like that he'd probably have to be distracted in some way

Either thinking about his words and not his voice as he reprimands Sole or snapping about something unrelated that's on his mind

So he doesn't even realize Sole started crying until their tears manage to snap him out of his thoughts

He's the type to try and comfort them straight away by cautiously reaching in for a hug and apologizing

If Sole runs off or yells at him he takes it personally, getting upset at himself for making Sole so uncomfortable

He will eventually reach out to them and get them to talk about what's bothering them, even if it takes a while

He'll immediately step up and sincerely apologize, and then turn his focus onto Sole's mental health

He realizes Sole has A Lot going on and them crying was probably the result of many days/weeks/months of bottled up emotions

Piper

Sole crying stops her in her tracks and makes her re-think everything that's happened between them in the past 24 hours

Was it something she said?? Or something she did?? What did she do wrong!?

Depending on the situation will either try to explain herself ("I didn't mean it like that, no don't cry I was just joking I swear -") or immediately be worried for Sole and try to comfort them

Might take Sole needing alone time a bit personally, she'll end up worrying that they're REALLY mad at her

She feels like she's not the best at comforting people so she'll try to turn to acts of service/gifts to bring them comfort

Buying them their favorite food, carrying more of their items, giving them hugs, etc.

Preston

Almost confused at first

He's never had anyone shy away from him before - if anything people didn't take him seriously and tended to look down on him

So the fact that he managed to make Sole cry really made him reassess their entire conversation up to this point

Immediately apologizes and asks what's wrong because surely there has to be something else going on for them to cry like this, right?

If Sole doesn't give an explanation he'll default to assuming they're overtired and stressed from work

Probably ends up feeling guilty for every time he gave them more Minuteman-related work to do

Might end up in a bit of a self-deprecating spiral of "I pushed them too hard, now they're upset, it's all my fault, how the hell can I fix this..."

He'll really focus on being there for them, whatever they need.

Less work? He'll take on their load. Shoulder to cry on? He'll stay up all night for them. A warm hug? He won't let go until Sole lets go first.

Rhys

Laughs

Alright he's an asshole

Kind of goes on a power trip about it too

Like "Haha yes I made them cry. Because I am the strong alpha male of the group"

At some point might come to the conclusion, either through his own means or by Danse/Haylen calling him out, that he was being a little bit of an asshole

If he apologizes though it's extremely short and awkward.

Like "Hey. Uhh. Sorry for making you cry. Just don't do it again. It's weird." And never brings it up ever again

Alternatively, takes the "Older Brother When The Younger Brither Starts Crying" approach of "Don't tell Danse! I didn't even yell at you that much! You can punch me back so we're even just please stop crying dude Danse will hear you and he'll get mad at me"

X6-88

It stops him in his tracks

Part of him is freaking out because Oh God Someone Is Experiencing Emotions Around Me

And the other part of him is freaking out because He Made Sole Cry Uh-Oh

Will probably give Sole some space immediately and waits for them to calm down - he's never been good at dealing with emotional people

Once they're calm he'll revisit them with a peace offering of sorts, like a fancy lad snack cake or some tea or something

Very curt apology, hands them the gift, leaves a moment of silence as an opportunity for them to speak up about what made them cry if they want

Once that's over he'll just try and pretend it never happened while also keeping them safe from whatever else could trigger that

He'll try not to yell at them and actively avoid putting them in situations where they'll be yelled at again whenever possible

[fluentmoviequoter]

Hello! Happy Birthday 🎉

Hope you have a year full of health, happiness, luck and success!!

My prompt wish is:

➣ feeling so lonely that they have to call their friend/lover, just to get a sense and reminder that they're still there, and trying and failing to hold back tears as they do so

With Deacon🙈

Thank you so much!! I wasn't sure which way you wanted it, so I let reader call Deacon! This ended up a little shorter than I wanted, but I think it's a cute lil blurb. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

Join the 20 Surprise Parties birthday celebration!✨

Warnings: a tiny bit of angst, fluff.

Word Count: 0.9k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

I Need You

You need Deacon Kay. Desperately, entirely, eternally, you need him.

It’s been six days since you heard his voice and nearly two weeks since you hugged him, cupped his jaw, and kissed him like your life depended on it. 20-David was called away on an important mission, aiding another agency with a big bust. Deacon held you for hours before he left and has been able to call once since leaving, but you have a deep craving for him: to feel his touch and hear his voice. You could call a friend to call to keep you company, but it’s not the same. There is only one cure for your touch starvation (perhaps more aptly categorized as Deacon starvation), and the cure is Deacon Kay himself.

Right now, you don’t know what to do. Hicks has sent you a few updates since Deacon went away, but you feel like you’re starving without Deacon. It’s part of his job and his life, but that doesn’t make it easier on you. Every moment he is away from you creates a fracture in your heart, in your being, that only he can mend.

You fall asleep with Deacon’s pillow clutched to your chest (again). It’s one of many things you’ve tried to lessen your homesickness, which is the proper word because Deacon is your home, and you miss him so much you’re sick. When you dream, Deacon is right beside you, and you love it, but it makes waking up without him much harder. After nights of being unable to sleep without Deacon’s warmth beside you, you’ve nearly run out of ideas for temporary comfort.

Staring at the ceiling, you try to convince your mind that it’s Deacon in your arms and not a weak substitute. While resting in your desperation and sadness, you take longer than you should to realize your phone is ringing.

“Hello?” you greet, hoping that Deacon is back in Los Angeles and about to come home to you.

“We’re all clear. I’ll send him home soon, but you can call whenever you want,” Hicks says before ending the call. Brief and informative, that’s Hicks.

You scramble to dial Deacon’s number. With each dial tone, you squeeze your eyes closed tighter.

“Hey,” Deacon breathes out as the line connects. “I was about to call you.”

“Hi,” you say, trying not to choke over the building tears. “I’m so glad to hear your voice, Deac.”

“Glad to hear yours too, you have no idea. I need to get home. I’m sorry it took so long, we ran into a lot of unexpected,” Deacon pauses and sighs. Pressure builds in your eyes as you picture his big brown eyes while he adds, “unexpected everything, really. But we’re back now, finally.”

“It’s okay.” You quiet to add, “I just miss you. So much.”

“I know. I miss you too.”

You hiccup, trying to swallow your tears. The noise alerts Deacon that something is wrong, and though he’s miles away, you can nearly feel the change in his demeanor. You know he’s tense with eyes wide as he rushes to action.

“What’s going on? Are you alright?” he asks, pulling you from your mental image of him.

His concern pushes you over the edge, and you let your tears flow as you sink to the floor on your knees, sobbing as you listen to Deacon’s voice, his pillow still held to your chest. You need him, but this is the best you can get for now, and you’re thankful for it.

“Baby, baby, take a deep breath. What’s going on?” Deacon asks, his voice strained. You think you hear hurried footsteps and a door slam before Deacon’s voice comes through clearer.

“I miss you and I- I’m so lonely, David. It felt like you’d never come back, I’d never hear your voice again or hug you again and I need you. I need you more than anything else,” you ramble through your tears; they slow as you listen to Deacon breathing on the other end of the phone.

“Hey, you have me.” You blow a sharp, pained breath out of your nose, and Deacon reiterates, “You have me. You will always have me. I’m coming home.”

“You’re still working,” you argue weakly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “They need you, too.”

“Not like you do. And they’ll understand. Be ready for a long hug when I get there?”

You laugh, and Deacon smiles on the other end of the line, his chest loosening as he realizes exactly how much he needs you, too.

“We need each other, sweetheart. So, I’m right beside you, no matter what.”

“I love you, Deacon.”

“I love you. I’ll tell Hicks I’m leaving and be home in a bit.”

“I’ll be waiting for my hug.”

You know that Deacon needs you the same way you need him, and you have each other, countless hugs, weeks apart, and everything in between. He laughs before the line disconnects, and while you won’t feel whole until he’s back in your arms, knowing that he’s on his way makes everything better.

When you hear his car idling in the driveway, your tears begin anew, fresh and passionate. He rushes into your room, dropping to the floor beside you as he pulls you into his arms, holding your head below his chin as his arms tighten around you. With slowing tears, your arms grip Deacon’s shirt below his shoulders as you lean against him.

“I need you,” Deacon whispers into your hair. “Thanks for calling me home.”

[footprintsinthesxnd]

Empty Chairs At Empty Tables

So this is inspired by the song for my favourite musical Les Misérables ‘Empty Chairs At Empty Tables’ where the character Marius sings about loosing his friends during the French Revolution. I feel that this song fits a lot of characters from the HBO war fandom but I was just drawn to writing this fic for Eugene Sledge. Warnings: themes of war, loss, grief, death, death of a beloved pet, PTSD

Thank you so much @georgieluz for proofreading it.

Deacon watched the couple, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth as sat with a lopsided grin. Eugene never saw him move but every time he turned around he was right in his heels. Eugene reached down to scratch his dog's head affectionately, watching as he smiled up at him.

“The way he looks at you, sometimes I wonder whether he’s the love of your life instead,” Y/n joked, laughing as Eugene stuck out his tongue at them.

“You’re just jealous that he got the last sandwich.”

“Not at all, you know I’d do anything for him,” Y/n began scratching Deacon’s arm which caused the dog to flop down onto their lap.

“Which is exactly why I’m not worried about leaving you with him. I know you’ll both look out for each other,” Eugene sat down, a solemn look on his face.

“We’re gonna be just fine, right Deacon? Your Dad has nothing to worry about,” Y/n spoke to the dog and Eugene felt his heart swell for the hundredth time that day as he realised just how much he loved them.

“Gene, please don’t be sad,” Y/n reached over, cupping his cheek. “We’re going to be just fine.”

“I know,” Eugene mumbled, his lip wobbling as the tears began trickling down his cheeks. “I just don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to leave either, but I know you have to. It doesn’t make it any easier though,” they admitted, running their fingers through his red locks.

“I love you, Eugene Sledge. Come back to me.”

“I promise.”

To my dearest Y/n,

How I wish I was at home with you. I want nothing more than to be back in that field, on the red-checked picnic blanket with you and Deacon. Those days were so simple. If only all of life could be that simple.

Today I saw a man have his whole leg blown off and he just stood there looking at us, it was as if he didn’t realise what had happened to him until the medics were trying to get him on a stretcher. How does that even happen?

I hope everything at home is going well. Thank you for visiting my parents, it means a lot to them when you visit and Deacon always loves your visits, he tells me so personally. I wish I was there with you. All I want is a hug. It seems silly really, childish even, but to just have your arms around me, even for a second would be enough.

I love you always my darling,

Your Eugene

————————————————————————

My Eugene,

I’m sure by now you have received the news of Deacon’s passing from your parents. I am so sorry, my love. Just know that he did not suffer. His old body carried him well right until the end and I spent the last three days and nights of his life by his side. We sat out under the apple trees and I read to him just like you used to. He was comfortable when he passed. The house is quieter without him. Now that I am without either of you I do feel truly alone, not even Sidney is here to support me.

I pray every night for your safe return to me my love.

I love you forever and always

Your Y/n

Eugene felt his legs shaking as he stepped off the train onto the platform, his hands shaking as he held onto his kit bag tightly. He could see Sidney, leaning against his truck, a cigarette hanging limply from his lips. It was the reunion he was excited for but not the one he had been yearning for. Sid talked all the way back to his house, talking of his fiancée, life since he’d been home, and his family but Eugene barely registered any of it, his mind too preoccupied with the image of Y/n.

“Drop me here, Sid,” Eugene spoke up as the view of the driveway came into sight.

“You sure, I can drive you up to the house?”

“No, it’s okay. I need the walk. I’ve been stuck on the train for hours.”

Sidney pulled up to the end of the driveway, cutting the engine.

“It’s good to have you back, Gene.”

“It’s good to be back. Thanks for the ride, Sid.”

Eugene slung his kit bag over his shoulder, leaving Sid behind him as his legs carried him up the driveway in long strides. As he approached the house he could see them, arranging one of the flower baskets by the front door, their sleeves rolled up and looking just as lovely as the day he’d left. Eugene felt his heart swell at the sight of them and he promised he would tell them every day.

He dropped his kit bag in the lawn chair, approaching them slowly so as to not disturb them.

“Y/n?” He spoke, his hands shaking a little at his sides.

Y/n dropped the flower basket, oblivious to the terracotta shattering across the decking.

“Eugene?” They squeaked, their hands coming to their mouth. “Is it really you? Are you really here?” Y/n stepped down off the decking, moving to stand in front of him. Their hand reached up to cup his cheek, Y/n’s fingers grazing at the soft flesh and Eugene sighed.

“It really is you,” they whispered, tears trailing down their cheeks to match Euegne’s.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“It's so quiet, isn't it?” Euegen turned his head to look down at Y/n, as they smiled sympathetically at him.

“You'll get used to the peace again, my love. I promise.”

“It’s not that,” Eugene sighed, shifting to sit up on his elbows, “Deacon always used to snore on the end of the bed. He was so noisy when he slept.”

Eugene could feel the tears starting to trail down his cheeks being brushed away and a chaste kiss placed on his lips. “I miss him every day,” Eugene cried, a sob escaping from his lips as he was enveloped in Y/n’s embrace.

“It’s okay, Gene. We’re going to get through this together.”

“NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU WEREN'T THERE!” Gene screamed, throwing another vase across the room and watching as it smashed on the floor, glass shattering like icicles across the hardwood floorboards and the flowers cascading amongst the disarray.

“I know I wasn’t there for you then, Eugene but I’m here now and I am never leaving your side,” Y/n cried, “So don’t keep trying to push me away because I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you have no idea. They’re all dead, they’re all gone and I came back. Why did I deserve to come back? There are houses all around the world with empty chairs where they should be sitting right now,” Eugene slipped down onto the floor beside the smashed vase, his head hanging low as he sobbed.

Y/n couldn’t take it anymore and was by his side in an instant, cradling him close, comforting him. “Shh Eugene, please don’t talk like this. I need you. Your family needs you. I am so glad you came home.”

“But why did I deserve to come home and they didn’t,” Eugene glanced up at them, his large tearful eyes breaking their heart further.

“Because I love you, that's why. Because it wasn’t your time and quite possible because you deserved to come home.”

“And they didn’t.”

“No. You all deserved to come home. What you must do now is decide what you want to do with your second chance. You were given a chance to come home and you must live each day to the fullest for all of those who didn’t make it home. Okay?” Y/n looked down at him and Eugene nodded, resting his head against their chest. Y/n reached down, cradling their fingers through his ginger hair, soft, soothing strokes. Eugene’s breathing soon settled into a more normal rhythm as Y/n heartbeat calmed him.

“I’m glad I came home,” Eugene whispered, “because I have a very important question to ask you.”

“You do,” Y/n replied, looking down at the man they loved.

“Will you stay with me? Always?”

“Of course I will Gene. I’m not going anywhere.” The couple sat on the floor of Eugene’s room, no longer aware of the time or space around them. The only thing that mattered right now was that Eugene was home, and he was safe and with time he would heal from the horrors he had seen.

Tags: @georgieluz @iceman-kazansky @yeahcurrahhe-e @msmercury84 @blvestxr @dustyjumpwjngs @theflyingfin @jump-wings @kafka-ohdear @kmc1989 @mads-weasley @docroesmorphine @liptonsbabe @lena-basilone @sweetxvanixlla @hesbuckcompton-baby @ronsparky @allthingsimagines @whollyjoly @bucky32557038ww2 @panzershrike-pretz @malarkgirlypop @hanniewinnix @inglourious-imagines @l13bg0tt @samwinchesterslostshoe

[wassertoffatom]

Hello! Massive fan of the MacCready fic you just posted. It's excellent work!

How about either 22 or 23 from your prompt list with our man Deacon? If not, it's all good! Take care, and have a great day!

Christmas Dinner (Deacon x F!Reader, F!Reader & Shaun)

Main Master List || Prompt List

Author's Note: Thank you for this request!! I hope you enjoy!!!! Also I know it's not Christmas but it just made sense.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: Teen and up, Mentions of Guns, Language

==========

The room is quiet, the faint dripping of water splashes against the deteriorated ceramic sink as neither members of the party stir. Both people have their guns on the table, fingers resting on the trigger. 

Deacon was less than thrilled when you had mentioned that you’d be bringing Shaun to your place in Sanctuary Hills for Christmas dinner. Shaun was equally unamused at the prospect of having dinner on the surface with the person who wants him dead. 

The smell of cooked radstag wafts through the air, causing Deacon’s stomach to grumble, even if he feels nauseous. There’s no way of knowing if Shaun will have synths storm in at any moment and corner both him and you, but you swore up and down that he wouldn’t do that. The both of you are sitting in a bear trap, and the bear is right in front of you. 

“The surface is even more volatile than I thought,” Shaun comments casually, dusting off dust from his pristine white coat. “How do you manage to survive up here?”

“We manage,” Deacon grumbles out, finger tapping against the trigger, ready to grab the gun and shoot at any given moment. “Sure must be comfortable down in your palace. Hell won’t be as nice.” 

Shaun raises a gray eyebrow, scoffing at the man. “If hell is real, it’s this. The Institute wants to make it better. For everyone.”

They continue to stare each other down as you walk over to the table from the kitchen area, setting down a radstag roast. “Now boys, let’s not do this. Christmas is about spending time with each other,” you grit through your painted red lips, dress hugging your frame as you lean over the table, carving the meat. It’s not exactly how you imagined your first Christmas to go in a Nuclear Apocalypse, but you didn’t really expect to survive an apocalypse in the first place. “Back before the war, ham was mostly used at Christmas Dinners. People would add honey glaze over it, brushing it periodically and making sure it's evenly distributed. Food back then was so good,” you ramble mindlessly, placing some meat on the cleanest plates you could find. “When Nate and I first got married, our first Christmas just consisted of us watching movies, opening presents and ordering Chinese. Then we started hosting parties for our friends and celebrated it together. It was always so nice.” 

Deacon can tell that you’re taking a trip down memory lane. When you get like that, you also get sad and then start thinking of all the things you missed out on. Namely getting Christmas presents for Shaun as he grew up. Deciding to change the subject, Deacon shoves a forkful of radstag into his mouth, slightly moaning at the taste. That’s one thing he loves about you, your ability to make anything taste more than edible. “This is really good, Charms.”

A smile blooms across your face, lighting up your eyes in appreciation. “Thank you, Deacon. I’m glad you enjoy it.” You turn to your own food, gently cutting the meat but Deacon’s eyes focus on Shaun, and his disgusted face as he inspects the fork.

“How can you eat this mother?” You look up at your son, a frown forming on your face at his clear disgust. Deacon hates that. Deacon knows that you had hunted, killed, skinned, dragged the meat back, hacked away at it to be edible and then slaved over the kitchen to cook it for him. Deacon knows that all you wanted is to spend some time with your son before the cancer took him. Have at least one Christmas with your son.

“Well, it’s really not that bad. It takes some getting used to, but it’s not completely bad.” Your voice sounds small, almost as if you’re second guessing yourself.

“I think it's great. I bet everyone’s mouth in a 5 mile radius is drooling at the smell.” He offers you a small smile, reaching over to squeeze your arm in comfort, gaining himself a smile from you that instantly drops the second Shaun scoffs. 

“I’m not sure what will kill me first, the radiation or this food.” 

That’s it. Deacon doesn’t hesitate to reach across the table, grabbing fistfuls of Shaun’s coat and pulling the older man out of his seat. “You’re paying a small price compared with what she’s going through. What she’s been through, just to find you. So sit down and eat the damn food and be grateful to have a mother who literally went through hell and back, for you.”

“You and your Railroad friends are going to die a slow, painful death unless you unhand me right now.”

“Boys.” Deacon reaches for a gun, pressing it to the side of Shaun’s head while Shaun points his to Deacon’s chest.

“Give me a reason I shouldn’t kill you right here.”

“Go ahead. Do it. See what happens to mother and all those people.” “Boys!” 

“I am going to make you eat lead.”

“And what would mother think of that? You would kill me, but at what cost? Surely she would never trust you again after you kill her only son.”

A slam on the table causes their gaze to rip away from each other, both eyes turning to you, whose eyes are brimmed with tears. “I just wanted one fucking meal together and the both of you ruined that.” A hiccup escapes from your chest as you wipe tears away with the back of your hand. “Thank you for ruining Christmas.” You don’t say anything else before taking the meat and walking out of the house, leaving Deacon and Shaun there alone. 

Shaun is the first to let go, the safety of his laser gun clicking back on, dropping it to his feet. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” his voice almost sounds apologetic. “If you could let me go?” Deacon hesitates for a moment, letting his grip loosen but keeping his gun trained on him. “I should head back. I don’t want to cause any more strife. I also don’t want any more radiation.”

“Doesn’t radiation help with cancer?” Deacon’s face remains apathetic as Shaun straightens out his coat.

“In some cases, concentrated amounts can help things like tumors, but not in this case. I would say it was nice meeting you, but it wasn’t,” Shaun fiddles with a device in his pocket, leaning down to grab his gun. “Do tell mother that I am sorry for ruining Christmas.” A blue static light begins to appear in the house as Deacon gives a one finger salute.

“Kill you later.” A moment later, Shaun disappears from the room and Deacon is left alone, mashed radstag from his body on his plate. How is he going to make this right with you?

[the0retically]

The Suckening #11: Bloodbound:

What an episode I’m so—oof!!

- Grizz’s regular voice just talking is so strange

- A tick on Bebo’s balls??

- These intros are insane

- “So he was getting to the center of that tootsie pop!” CONDI??

- The music :)

- I forgot about taylor oh my god

- Oh now Taylor swift, Charlie is so done

- “How do you contribute?” “I don’t.” “What???”

- Willpower of 2?? The influencers please

- This is insanity, why is shilo joining in the vlogs?

- “Grefgore and Arthur just kill them” PLEASE??

- Shilo sending Grefgore to kill the guys with contracts oh my god

- Arthur just hating the influencers is so so funny

- “I want to go to the twins” “you keep mentioning these twins who are they?” “Do you want to come with” PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- CHARLIE?? WHAT VOICE IS THAT

- He’s just Mickey Mouse??

- Station wagon 5??

- Charlie being like “yeah you’re on a bunch of cameras :)” scary

- Charlie please stop whimpering

- Wait Taylor isn’t an actual werewolf??

- OH WAIT NO HE IS he just wanted to be closer to Jacob please

- Love how they have Taylor on the team now

- “I’m the real Taylor Launter from movies and I’m gonna help you” PLEASE?

- Deacon?

- LAZARUS??????

- HUH?

- NO EDWARD NO NO NO NO NO NO

- Oh no he walks inside???

- God this is so bad

- “This is like the time I looked at the sky and everything went horrible” OH GOD

- These rolls are so bad today

- THEO

- …..somethings weird oh god yeah it’s been a month

- Oh :( he’s doing so well!

- ……is that Edwards theme right now?

- HES BEEN KILLING VAMPIRES?

- LETS GO THOUGH?? HES A BADASS I LOVE HIM!! HES UNITED THE DEMONS AND FANGS!!

- I love emizel and theo so much

- OH WAIT YEAH HE HAS HOLY WATER IN HIS WATER BOTTLE OH MY GOD

- :((( they’re gonna play smash together

- “On the moon?” “Is this still on the moon?” “The moon?” PLEASE THEO

- ……I feel like humans have the twilight phones too theo don’t kill humans please

- “The dangs” I love that

- ……….they don’t know what’s going on with shilo oh god

- …..he’s back in the Tiktok house?

- OH MY GOD ARTHUR IS SO WORRIED HES LIKE A PARENT OH MY GOD

- Any ghosts???

- SPIRITS TOUCH ON THE WRISTBAND!!! CHARLIE LOSING IT TOO OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT

- Oh FUCK shilo had the files AND Arthur got all successes on the spirit touch

- “And do everything we talked about” excuse me??

- God the Edward theme is so so good

- IS IT THE TWINS?

- WHAT NO NO NO TWO FIGURES LOOK LIKE EDWARD TWILIGHT

- WHAT???

- THERE IS JUST AN ARMY ON EDWARDS

- “He’s gonna turn the city of LA into Edward twilight” OH MY GOD

- “Who do we want to start with?” “Emizel”

- “It was tough out there being a baby mechanic” oh my god

- WEYLIN TWINS TIME!!!!!!!!!

- I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

- Love that they upped security

- :) hi vex

- ??????? A monitor?

- :(((( the twins are just on the monitor? Please!!

- I love them :)

- WHAT THE THINGS ARE FROM JEFFREY?? EMIZEL IS LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? OH MY GOD VIV AND VEX TRIED SO HARD TO BE SCARY AND IT JUST DIDNT WORK OUT??

- “I’m like a Barbie doll” WHAT???

- PLEASE GET THE WEYLINS ON YOUR SIDE

- “See you soon…emizel” “I know you knew my name” oh my god please

- I LOVE THE WEYLINS!!!!

- I love the banter between them and emizel it’s so fun

- They’re bonding over being twins!!

- EMIZEL???? WHY ARE YOU OFFERING THEM TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

- ……….he wants them to be in different places for the party oh god emizel

- BUT THE WEYLINS ARE AGREEING I LOVE THIS

- :)))))) god I love the weylins

- Vex you’re so so cool

- I’d willingly let myself be experimented on by him I’m being so real

- Bizly trying to teach Condi how to do the accent is fun

- …magus :(

- “I saw her dirty blonde hair, the same as my mother” hmmm

- Who did magnus staked?

- The music is so good and peaceful

- “See you soon Sam? -Mr bennet” huh???

- Mary?? Oh my god she’s Bloody Mary

- Oh god Mary just fully attacked him

- Oh she’s so cute and fun I love her already

- This is so sad :( Mary

- Condi sounded so defeated when Mary said Edward called it the twilight zone

- ……..Arthur what do you mean you’d be pulled in to be with her

- That convo was so fun

- NO SHILO HE BOTCHED IT

- Oh fuck

- That was so sudden

- Deacon!!

- Love how angry shilo is that deacon lied to him

- And now shilo is being arrested

- BUT DEACONS PUTTING ON A SHOW!!

- Love how both shilo and emizel have the idea to switch spots

- …who just whispered help??

- God emizel is so fucking funny

- TWIN TIMES

- “As long as I don’t see them and think of my younger siblings” Arthur :(

- Let’s go!!! Grizz gets to meet them!

- ARTHUR CAN SET PEOPLE ON FIRE WITH HIS MIND????? EXCUSE ME

- Love how the twins just got kidnapped by breekon and hope

- VEX AND VIV!!!!!!! HI :)!!!!!!

- Charlie just being SO confused by Arthur knocking on the door is SO FUNNY OH MY GOD?

- Nicknames for each other!!

- THEY POSE FOR THEM TO GIVE THEM NICKNAMES THATS SO CUTE

- WIMBLEDON AND WAMBLEDON

- PLEASE THEYRE REACTIONS TO ARTHUR :((

- THEYRE GONNA FIX ARTHUR??

- Love how Grizz is just Giddy about this because me too

- GOD!! Love vex so much

- HES PLAYING THE CLIMB!!!!!!!!! YES!!!

- I love this scene so so much

- It’s so visceral but I love this so much

- Condi is popping off with the voice acting though holy shit

- NO CHARLIES LAUGH WHEN EMIZEL ASKED IF HE WAS MAKIKG CLONES OH GOD

- “It’s more of a live event” “Edward on ice?” “God I wish”

- Vex just sounds so tired and so confused oh my god

- this is so funny oh my god “what is this feeling? Disappointment??”

- THE SAME FUCKING QUESTION FOR HANNAH OR MILEY OH MY GOD

- PLEASE VIV WHAT????

- SHES SO FUNNY

- She’s very very interesting. She’s obviously not happy about working for Edward, hmm

- The music in the background here is amazing and fits the scene perfectly

- I never thought I’d love Arthur and Viv’s friendship that’s starting up

- :( he’s letting her choose how he looks :( that’s actually so sweet

- I like how viv’s work is warm and nice, while vex’s is just brutal, it’s interesting to see their differences in their work

- …..emizel and shilo sound like each other now

- ITS FORTNIGHT?? NO OK YEAH ITS THE TWILIGHT ZONE WAIT ITS THE HUNGER GAMES HUH????? HUH???? OH MY GOD

- SHILO IS GONNA BE IN THE GAME BECAUSE HES NOT RHE VIP ANYMORE

- Oh my god I—goodness

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack!AU: ✨The Fave Banned Songs of The 24 OG Mentors✨

A friend of mine asked me to list the Mentors’ favorite banned (100% illegal in Panem) songs in my TBOSAS Crack!AU.

So here they are:

1. Coriolanus Snow (Sugar Baby Era)

Snow On The Beach by T. Swift & Lana

Radio by Lana Del Rey

Careless Whisper by George Michael

Bloom by Troye Sivan (For Sejanus)

“Sl*t!” By Taylor Swift (For Sejanus)

2. Sejanus Plinth (Sugar Daddy Era)

Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran

Jenny by Studio Killers (For Coryo)

Lover by Taylor Swift (For Coryo)

Hey Blondie by Dominic Fike (For Coryo)

Ride by SoMo (For Coryo)

3. Festus Creed (Dumpster Fire Era)

We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus

Last Friday Night by Katy Perry

All Star by Smash Mouth

Honeypie by JAWNY

Chicken Nugget Dreamland by Parry Grip

4. Lysistrata Vickers (Crazy Fangirl Era)

Wannabe by Spice Girls

Barbie Dreams by FIFTY FIFTY, Kaliii

Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles

Starman by David Bowie

Groupie by Cate

5. Felix Ravinstill (Class President Era)

Under Pressure by Queen, David Bowie

Touchy Feely Fool by AJR

The Hype by Twenty One Pilots

Kingdom Come by Jon Bellion

This is What Makes Us Girls by Lana

6. Persephone Price (Unhinged Lover Era)

Candy by Unknown Brain

Crush by Tessa Violet

Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max

I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen

7. Clemensia Dovecote (Friend-zoned Era)

Still Into You by Paramore

Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen

Midnight Love by Girl in Red

Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton

8. Livia Cardew (Rich Queen Era)

7 Rings by Ariana Grande

Material Girl by Madonna

Barbie World by Nicki Minaj, Ice Spice

9. Androcles Anderson (Sneaky Sneak Era)

Stand Up by One Direction

Cake By The Ocean by DNCE

Drive By by Train

Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson

10. Hilarius Heavensbee (Disowned Clown Era)

Birthday Party by AJR

Sad Happy by Circa Waves

SugarCrash! By ElyOtto

Thomas Theme by Thomas & Friends

11. Palmyra Monty (Chef on Crack Era)

Cooking by The Book by Lazy Town

Raining Tacos by Parry Grip

Fruit Salad by The Wiggles

Krusty Krab by Trap Remix

12. Apollo Ring (Sunshine Boi Era)

Oh Potato Dog by Parry Grip

Sunroof by Nicky Youre, Dazy

Sunkissed by Khai Dreams

Come On Eileen by Dexys M.R

13. Diana Ring (Pastel Peach Era)

Rainbow Magic by Rosanna Pansino

Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY (Twin Ver.)

Penguin On Me by Schmoyoho

My Little Pony Theme by My Little Pony

14. Vipsania Sickle (Gym Gal Era)

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! By ABBA

Eye of The Tiger by Survivor

YMCA by Village People

15. Gaius Breen (Hype Man Era)

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars

The Nights by Avicii

Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes

16. Dennis Fling (Trader Joe’s Era)

Billionaire by Travis McCoy, Bruno Mars

Money, Money, Money by ABBA

MONEY by LISA

17. Pliny Harrington (Sleepy Dawg Era)

The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars

Some Nights by Fun

Saturday by Twenty One Pilots

18. Domitia Whimsiwick (Farm Gal Era)

Everything She Ain’t by Hailey Whitters

If You Go Down by Kelsea Ballerini

WWDD by Lainey Wilson

Biscuits by Kacey Musgraves

19. Urban Canville (Exploding Man Era)

World’s Smallest Violin by AJR

All Time Low by Jon Bellion

When I was Done Dying by Dan Deacon

The Pi Song by AsapSCIENCE

20. Io Jasper (Nerd in Love Era)

Boys by Charli XCX

What Lovers Do by Maroon 5, SZA

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

The Science Love Song by AsapSCIENCE

21. Florus Friend (Introvert on Stage Era)

Dreamland by Glass Animals

Loretta by Ginger Root

Herp De Derp by Schmoyoho

22. Iphigenia Moss (Rebellious Diet Era)

Boom Clap by Charli XCX

Popular Song by MIKA, Ariana Grande

Prom Dress by mxmtoon

23. Juno Phipps (Royal Baby Girl Era)

Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani, Eve

Dance The Night by Dua Lipa

California Gurls by Katy Perry

24. Arachne Crane (Screeching Banshee Era)

Beautiful Trauma by P!nk

Super Bass by Nicki Minaj

Primadonna by MARINA

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-paperbacks]

Thoughts on 1.3

Ok, I’m still devastated over Sofia Ivanovna but I’m finally able to put that aside just enough to belatedly type up my thoughts.

But first, I wanted to acknowledge the antisemitism in the room, because it appears briefly in this chapter, comes in even stronger in 1.4, and will unfortunately continue to crop up throughout the book. I love Dostoevsky’s writing and find it to generally be very compassionate and humanising, but there are unfortunately antisemitic tropes present. Jewish people are more often mentioned than actually depicted or included as characters, which means these tropes occur as passing nods, but it is still noticeable. I do not know enough about the man’s personal views to know how much of this was done consciously or intentionally on his part, and how much was a consequence of the general climate of Europe and Russia at the time, but to be blunt, I don’t care to know. Intentional or unintentional, it is wrong and has a harmful effect. And it feels irresponsible of me to be posting about this book without pointing out and categorically disavowing that aspect of it. These tropes are disgusting and evil. They have zero basis in reality, but they do have an immense damaging impact on the lived reality of Jewish people down to this day. This bookclub will have zero tolerance for antisemitism.

Now onto my thoughts.

It seems that Fyodor not only has a constant eye for opportunities to invest his capital, but also for opportunities to prey on vulnerable women

Sofia is the orphaned daughter of “some obscure deacon.” Interestingly, she will not be the last woman in the novel who meets that description, which makes it feel like a significant detail

The only detail the narrator is able to give us about Sofia's childhood (the fact that she made an attempt to hang herself and had to be cut down) is the only detail we need in order to create an absolutely horrific and gut-wrenching picture of what this girl suffered. And there's just something so real about it? The fact that this old benefactress lady is not evil or motivated by any real malice. She isn't a Bad Person, she isn't Cinderella's wicked stepmother. I doubt she truly even hates Sofia. She does seem to be almost resentful of her own decision to take the orphan in, and takes that out on her, as though Sofia is the one who asked to be orphaned and then taken in by this woman. But it's not really about Sofia at all. Her constant picking at and criticising of Sofia comes from sheer idleness and boredom (and let's be real, probably some generational stuff from the way she herself was raised). This is how it so often is in real life. The fact that bullies and abusers of this kind are not necessarily bad or malicious people just makes it even worse. It's so pointless and petty, but the damage is real, as we can see for poor Sofya Ivanovna.

On a stylistic note, I again love the limitations of our narrator. He can’t tell us everything, he’s just reporting to us what he himself has heard or been able to uncover. It imbues the whole thing with so much reality

“What could a sixteen-year-old girl possibly make of it all beyond realizing that she would be better off throwing herself in the river than staying with her benefactress?” (McDuff) - <\3 ouch, my heart.

It’s a small comfort, but I’m glad that he at least didn’t benefit financially from this marriage. Although that seems to have possibly worsened his treatment of Sofia Ivanovna. I do think that he did have—perhaps not respect, but something like it, for the fact that his first wife was from a better family than him and brought so much wealth to the table. (The fact that she was fully capable of beating him up probably helped too.) But with Sofia Ivanovna, “he even trampled with both feet on the ordinary decencies of marriage.” (P&V)

Grigory standing up for Sofia is a little glimmer of something heartwarming and beautiful in such a dark and sordid and deeply sad chapter

This is the first mention of the klikushi, which is translated numerous different ways. I talk about it in this post and provide a good resource to learn more

The benefactress equates Sofia’s absolutely horrendous circumstances as having been sent by God. As punishment for her “ingratitude.” When she eventually took charge of the children, one wonders if she ever voiced this opinion to them. Was Ivan ever told that: that God caused his mother’s suffering?

I wish we knew more about Yefim Petrovich Polenov. He sounds like such an excellent person.

Ivan appears to be pretty much the polar opposite of Mitya. He works hard at his studies, and then works hard to support himself, loathing the thought of being dependent on others and not banking on any inheritance. He’s resourceful and creative about it too

I love his little alter ego as “Eyewitness”

Ivan managed to write an article in such a way that people of completely polarised views all read it and thought the author was on their side. Honestly, this isn’t that dissimilar from how Dostoevsky’s own work gets picked up today.

Are the “one or two astute men” who conclude that Ivan is basically the 19th century equivalent of a troll the correct ones here?

Why did Ivan show up in his hometown when he had been preparing to go abroad? What business could have possibly made Mitya decide to summon the help of his brother that he’s never met before? Whatever it is, apparently even this will not serve to make his arrival completely explicable.

Why does the arrival almost immediately give our narrator an uneasy feeling? What is this sense of looming catastrophe that continues to haunt these pages?

Ok. Now I’m off to delve into chapter 1.4, and then I’ll be caught up!