#we have to find our joy and peace somewhere as we get beat by the utah of all damn teams

[ratatatastic]

to celebrate the finn win (wjc) i will be watching a finn (basketball)

[kisekii]

Chapter 2- Unveiled joy

author note: thank you for reading this, the story isn't as simple as it looks ...I hope you will enjoy it <3.

previous: chapter 1

There was something different about Jeon Wonwoo. When he was around me, I’d feel at peace, I rarely did feel at peace, and when we were apart, my mind would think about things I’d show him, about what he would say or do if he was in the same situation as I was. Jeon Wonwoo was quiet most of the times, he would listen to me for hours, make little comments here and there and then just simply smile, that kind of smile that made me feel understood, heard, that kind of smile that reminded me, my heart was still beating, though a little bit faster than needed.

Jeon Wonwoo liked to take photos, he held his little camera everywhere we went and if he happened to forget it at home, he would take photos with his phone. The view didn’t really matter to him.

“You just like to capture everything without any purpose or theme, don’t you?” I had asked once while Wonwoo was taking a photo of our shadows under the rays of the late afternoon sun. He grinned with his attention still on his camera.

“There is a theme. It’s called “unveiled joy”.

Jeon Wonwoo was everyone’s favorite in this small and forgotten harbor town. Always there to help anyone in need; the lady who owned the fish shop and her problem with heavy packages (not business related, she just has an obsession with online shopping) or the grandmas who spend their days collecting medical flowers or the uncles who would argue over domino and chess games or those who had to go to vacation and had no one to take care of their pets, (especially cats, his favorites).

“I think April fits you perfectly.”

Jeon Wonwoo, my favorite.

//

“I’m almost there!” I said breathless as soon as I answered the phone.

Running to the bus station after spending a hour to get ready… The god of luck obviously wasn’t on my side.

“Are you running?” Wonwoo let out a chuckle. I frowned at that, especially after worrying so much about how I’d look in front of him. “Take it easy, I can wait April.”

Too late.

I slowed my steps as soon as I noticed Wonwoo’s back, one hand holding the phone while the other was inside his pocket. Head bowed down, he was lightly kicking a small stone.

Then my eyes drifted to my reflection on the glassy bus shelter. I sighed. My hair had turned into a real mess, my cheeks were red from all the running, and my outfit didn’t look ironed at all. A white skirt in a place full of dust, really April?

Wonwoo must have felt my presence because he slowly turned and beamed at me and suddenly the world seemed to come to a stop because he was wearing glasses and yes, he has always been handsome but it felt different. His sharp features had softened, and his strong aura had turned into something more delicate, something that felt so familiar yet strange, like a lost beautiful memory you are anxious to reciprocate.

“I told you not to hurry.” he said and removed some strands of hair from my face. I barely felt his touch but my mind and heart were still racing. “Red lipstick looks good on you.” his eyes went down for just a second and then he moved back, stretching his arms while checking if there was any bus coming. I sighed again, this time from relief.

No matter how many days we had spent together, it was impossible for me to get used to being that close to him. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, just simply temptation.

“You are wearing glasses.” I felt dumb as soon as the words left my mouth.

“I couldn’t find my lenses but seeing your reaction, I’m glad I didn’t.” he smirked and I rolled my eyes. It was that easy for him to soothe any situation.

Wonwoo had asked me to go out of town, to drink something, to “have some fun”. I agreed, simply because I was going with him. At first I didn’t think much of it but then I started being conscious of the fact that the two of us were going together somewhere that wasn’t the library he worked, the beach 5 minutes away from my house or the cinema that showed movies from 2010 and older.

So that’s where the tantrum started and that’s how I ended up with painted lips and eyelashes, a long white skirt and a crimson top.

“Finally.” Wonwoo cheered at the sight of the bus stopping in front of us.

We hopped in and slowly walked toward the end to sit next to each other. The bus was mostly empty, just us two and three other people who seemed to have finished their work, the clock marked 6pm.

I could feel the fresh breeze from the opened windows and Wonwoo’s arm touching mine. He offered me one of his airpods and I took it, we used to do that a lot.

“Do you think I have forgotten about you?”

My favorite song.

The scenery outside was nothing out of ordinary, nothing new. It had been 2 months since I came back after years of living in the capital but everything/everyone seemed to stay in the same exact place. With what Wonwoo had said to me, it has always been like this.

“About you…”

I moved my attention from the windows to my lap, where Wonwoo was drawing little circles with his finger on my palm resting there. He seemed to have been enjoying the view outside while playing with our hands, another habit of Jeon Wonwoo. I found myself smiling at the sight and then I felt a weight on my shoulders, his head found the perfect place. I felt happy. Never knew before that happiness would be such an easy thing to perceive.

“When are you leaving for collage?” I asked with a small voice not wanting to spoil the moment but still curious about the answer, a little anxious even.

Wonwoo studied IT in one of the most praised universities in Germany, far away from here and with summer slowly coming to an end it meant that our days together were also expiring.

“In 20 days.” he answered and I felt a needles in my stomach. Well, good things don’t last forever, I should have learned my lesson already. “During my first year all I could think about was how bad I wanted to come back here. I will never get used to the gloomy streets or the cold weather. People my age, everyone young have already left this town and that’s why I was surprised to see you that day, outside the grocery store.”

Oh.

‘Do you listen to rock’

I took a deep breath.

“I decided to take a gap year” I said avoiding his eyes. “that’s why I came here. My therapist suggested it, architecture wasn’t working out that well for me and some other things happened. Since my dad’s rich and I own a house near the beach I thought about giving it a try.” Wonwoo was still drawing the imaginary circles and I got brave enough to look at him again only to get caught with the most serene and gentle stare, full of interest and affection and my heart started its natural dancing under his gaze. “I’m glad I did. ” I admitted.

I wanted to hold his hand so bad.

“Thank you, April.” he whispered and as if reading my mind, he intertwined our fingers together, with so much delicacy. The needless in my stomach turned into thousands of butterflies. “Thank you for coming back.”

I should have been the one thanking him but instead I just held his hand a little bit tighter.

Wonwoo smiled and got a little closer, head rested again on my shoulder.

20 days, i thought. 20 days of heaven with Jeon Wonwoo.

[harrowharks-iliac-crest]

52

Fifth skull...

The Emperor is dead - now the Nine Houses will start dying...

I understand, Mercy, I really, genuinely do - but -

oh my GOD -

“I wanted it to be me,” she said, in this weird, unearthly calm. “I didn’t want it to be you. I didn’t want it to be you, Augustine, after all … the sin needed to be mine.”

In a really terrible, fucked up way, Augustine and Mercymorn do love each other.

Somehow I managed to say: “We have to go get everyone out. Now.” “There is no way,” said Mercy, cool as death. It was Ianthe of all people who said, “How can you say that? Will you not even try?” “Dominicus will collapse in a few minutes, chick,” said the other Lyctor. He too had the calm of a dying man. I only met that calm once, and it wasn’t on a living human being: it was the calm on a dead girl’s face, speared and mangled in a bed I’d told her to lie down in.

Oh, ouch...

They will not even try? They will just let the planets die?

We’re going to go round up the ships—everyone who’s left—sue for peace as best we can—get the Edenites on side. And then we’ll find a place to fulfil the old promise … Somewhere out there exists a home not paid for with blood; it won’t be for us, but it will be for those who have been spared. Babies always get born. Houses always get built. And flowers will die on necromancy’s grave.” Her throat was working. “Augustine—” The Lyctor took her silently in his arms: they held each other like children who’d had a nightmare and had woken in a fright. Just as silently, they detached. She said in a low voice, “He was right. There can be no forgiveness.” “Then let us not seek out forgiveness, but forgetfulness,” he said. “Bury me next to you in that unmarked grave, Joy. We knew that was the only hope we ever had—that we would live to see it through … and pray for our own cessation. Oh, we’ll still hate each other, my dear, we have hated each other too long and too passionately to stop … but my bones will rest easy next to your bones.”

I LOVE them. I love them so much.

Gideon stared at the dead cigarette in his hand, and then he said, “Well. Augustine, there’s something you should know—” White light.

Oh god there's more.

It happened in an instant. It happened over a myriad. A wet red construct knitted itself back together, [...] The Emperor of the Nine Houses—the King Undying—the Prince of Death—the Necrolord Prime—stood behind Mercymorn. He reached out with his naked hand. Her chest blew outward in a hot shower of ribs, meat, and diaphragm. Her body stumbled forward—he tapped the back of her head, something went crack—and the Saint of Joy fell facedown before Augustine, whose chest was decorated with the desecrated remnants of her heart.

Oh GOD.

Literally. Should've known it wouldn't be that easy to kill him.

Oh Mercymorn. She might be a goner for real though. :(

“It was a lovely bit of work on Mercymorn’s part. She must have been training for thousands of years, to bring that off. But I didn’t get to where I am by being able to die, you know?”

It seems all the anatomy knowledge in the world isn't enough to kill God. What a damn shame. Poor, poor Mercymorn, I'm going to fucking miss her.

I said, “You told that bastard to beat up Harrow?” That was my job, after all. God said, “I was trying to save her.” Also my job. “Go to hell, Pops.”

God asked Mercymorn to try and kill Harrow, out of mercy. Hah. Mercy. Geddit.

“Do I get the opportunity?” he asked. “Yes,” said the Emperor. “You do. I didn’t offer it to Mercy because Mercy really pissed me off, I’m sorry to say.” “Understandably,” agreed Augustine.

I mean, she did just try and kill him. Fair enough. I guess. I'm still gonna miss her though.

Is Augustine going to take this?

“No, John,” he said. And Augustine raised his hand.

Is he gonna try and kill God again? After it already didn't work the first time - after Mercy did such an exquisitely thorough job, and it still didn't work?

The River burst through the window in a high-pressure torrent. The Emperor was sucked out into the water, and Augustine dove after him, and Ianthe waded after him. Harrow, the only reason we weren’t pulled out too was because I was yanked back into the muscular, lean-beef arms of the saint who shared my name. [...] “The hell happened—” “Augustine’s dropped the whole station in the River,” he said. “We’ve crossed over physically—body, soul, everything.”

What was it - a Lyctor can survive a bit under five minutes in the River??

What about God?? We've seen him in the River once and he had to drag Harrow out of it - he didn't seem affected??? This surely is just a great way to kill all your potential allies??

Or... or just all of God's potential allies. Eeeeek.

Augustine, you bastard.

The station listed again. I said, “Okay. You’re a necromancer. Are you going to do something, or what?” “My necromancer is dead,” said Gideon.

Ohhhhh... so Gideon the First did die in the River, fighting the Resurrection Beast, -

so this... must be Pyrrha??

Two years before you were born, my necromancer started an affair with your mother … not knowing I’d also been doing the same thing, using his body.” I said, “What the fuck.” “She was the most dangerous woman I’d ever met who wasn’t me,” said Pyrrha Dve. “You’re right, though. She was a real dick.”

Hi what the fuck?? Gideon is so right here - what pray tell THE FUCK???

Lmao Commander Wake had an affair with Gideon and Pyrrha both, in the same body?????????

“The stoma’s opened for John,” said Pyrrha, and she sounded—detached, rather than triumphant, rather than grief-stricken. “It must think he’s a Resurrection Beast.”

Oh my GOD. Yeah, that could work...

As he struggled, he somehow pushed the Emperor into a waiting, frenzied bed of the things, which wrapped around his legs—and the stoma sucked down.

This is all very fucking horrifying, to be fucking honest.

I mean, yeah, I was thinking about you too; if I could’ve turned that off I would’ve turned it off years ago, but more importantly—I was absolutely fucking out of my mind Ninth House big pissed off. As I dithered, Pyrrha sandblasted me with the calm, “Your mother would’ve picked the bullet.” “Yes, well, jail for Mother,” I said.

For a thousand years!!!!

High above the nest of tongues, Ianthe was poised as though flying—fluttering white flimsy in the heart of that vortex—as God and Augustine thrashed together. The tongues had retracted almost to the rim of the mouth, and God was not winning. Those demoniacal tongues had him almost entirely in their grip as Augustine pinned him down. The tongues seemed more interested in the Emperor than in Augustine, though they weren’t uninterested in Augustine. God’s desperation, even in your darkening eyeballs, was clear.

If God is desperate here, then this really seems to be some kind of foolproof method. Holy fucking shitballs.

Ianthe seems to be somewhat safe...

Kind of - they still all need to get out of the River somehow -

Can Gideon in Harrow's body find Harrow's little bubble, and her soul?

I watched Ianthe dart down, rip the tongues from the Emperor of the Nine Houses, and wrestle him clear. The tongues entwined in a bower to bear Augustine silently down to that ravenous mouth, to the Hell where only demons went. Which was Tridentarius all over.

Fucking IANTHE!!!!! Really perfectly happy to kill her mentor to save the guy who's been a giant fucking scumbag for ten thousand years!!!!

... I realise I maybe shouldn't really be rooting for God to die, but hey, man, he killed Mercymorn. I'm allowed okay??

Ianthe, throwing in her lot with the guy who had lied to everyone about everything. Ianthe, backstabbing her own cavalier all over again. Ianthe, with the world in the balance, reaching her hand out and pressing down on the weight marked BAD.

Gideon agrees with me though. Lol.

your bullshit dead girlfriend had come to claim you. And she said in the wrong voice twice removed: “Chest compressions. I know her sternum’s shattered; ignore it. We need that heart pumping. On my mark.” Hands pressed. We died.

Please say psyche. Please say there's still some way out of it. If Alecto - of all people!!!! If Alecto is trying to save them - - Please - -

(I need a moment.)

[velvetporcelain]

Do not weep for me, I am no longer hungry

Today I feel so loved. I feel seen spiritually. Do you know how hard it is to be seen spiritually? Everyone is so distracted by the physical vessel that we neglect seeing into this vessel.

Everyone has spirit. I can feel it when I walk by them. Like their spirit looks right at me, turning its head but never the vessel.

I think about the man in the grocery store and our interaction. It was nothing short of spiritual, and I believe that he was also longing to feel. I do feel a bit of pity for him, he hides behind his good looks, and wants someone more intelligent to teach him about life and what it means to love. I wanted to dive into him simply because I can feel this energy spewing from his vessel. It was oceanic and after all I am the goddess of love. Well, now that’s just my womanly ego speaking.

I think about him often and if our paths will ever cross again.

I know that I am not like most women, I dive without holding my breath and willingly drown. I feel like my own husband sees me as a something so shallow, but I think that is my own insecurities beating me to the punch. 🥊

There was a long period of time when I walked through life with my spirit completely deceased. Unmotivated and closed off from the energy fields, and I am convinced that the majority is currently walking around cut off. Only a handful of people truly listen to their spirit and I can easily recognize this. I don’t want to say that I was lost, but I was. I found myself somewhere laying in a dark forest, but now? Now I am the moon, and most people don’t understand how significant the moon’s light can be in total darkness. I’m learning to accept this and to not take it personally, for it does not reflect on my power. I remain open to the world surrounding me. I remain consistent in the spreading of love, truth, beauty, perspective and peace. It is what people long for in such a world of spiritual illness. I am not the cure by all means, I am simply the medicine.

Today I added two more snails and shrimp to my little aquarium. They bring me so much stimulation and joy that I couldn’t resist the urge to add more life. A world within a world. Two different ways of life taking care of each other. It serves my womanly nature perfectly.

Stay true to yourself and your spirit and you will find it to be the most advantageous choice you have ever made in your entire life. Giving you the confidence you indirectly seek. I am eternally grateful that I have the time to look inside myself and truly be alone with myself. That I have the ability to detach from myself and observe. I will admit that it is a hard process at times, but nothing good is ever easy. The more I practice the quicker I can learn. I want to help people be able to do the same.

In several months I will have all my children in school and entire seven hours will be devoted to me and me alone. I get impatient thinking about it because I haven’t had this much consistent time alone in sixteen years. I imagine what I would do with that time and I’m overwhelmed with ideas. I think the first few weeks I shall do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Stare out the windows as long as I want, take my time with errands, slow my walking, slow my processing. I am working on valuing the time I have with all of them right now. Sometimes it is hard to connect with all of them at the same time because of their various ages, but I have always enjoyed a challenge. Getting to know my children on a personal level brings me great joy. I am pleased to hear their creative minds speak. I am working on providing them a safe spot for them to be themselves and learn how to self regulate emotions and thought. To think that I there is something much more rewarding in the world is ridiculous. This is what I was born to do. Change lives.

-x

[theblognobodyfoundlastyear]

It's that time of the year again. The time to beat out our brains.

Another post, another Tumblr UI change. Or maybe the Tumblr UI is changing according to my whimsical posting schedule? Either way, we're back after a long slew of life-related events. You can be sure there are more on the way this year and that I will be equally stressed and frenzied to get them sorted out in a way that hopefully doesn't result in deep-seated regrets.

It's times like these that once can feel as though I'd have my brains taken out and buttered. Where should I turn but to the vices once more? But life is always ready at the helm, poised to throw a wrench at your face when you least expect it. Indeed, it's as though life is all one giant exercise to shift the domain of problems in such a way that you never quite know how to solve the immediate problem on hand but smart enough to know that changing the focus will buy you some time.

One of the problems is the age-old conundrum of where is our time best spent. Do we try and solve those really difficult problems, or should we actually *gasps* start enjoying life? I wonder if things would have really turned out differently had we taken different forks in the road, but that was then and this is now. But I digress. Who actually likes solving difficult problems? Perhaps the loser who has nothing to do with their time. Or is it that we see something beyond the horizon, a better future if you will? And that by solving said problem, we might be fortunate to be the stepping stone on which greatness is achieved.

Then we have a strange problem on our hands: Why solve a hard problem when it costs us ourselves in due course? If you read between the lines, it's almost a selfless act of sorts that one would want to see a better outcome, one's own happiness be damned. And who knows - said happiness might be collected in one form or another somewhere along the way. Perhaps think of it this way: One person's joy is the cost of unlocking the happiness and freedom of others to experience. In turn, others who are willing to carry this cross might take up the challenge and continue iterating this exponential pattern of solving difficult problems for the sheer peace of mind that they've run their part of the race.

Is that it then, that the fate of some are destined to simply be problem solving machines without ever finding any personal joy from said work? That would be under the naïve sumption that such joy is the only motivation for anything. If one is willing to sacrifice for the greater betterment of their fellow countrymen, the pursuit in itself can be the prize in thereof. And if that's not the case, one can always look to the natural adjacencies to find all sorts of other motivations: Love for the craft! Spite for those who deemed the task as impossible! Intense hate for a particular problem or domain! There's bound to be all kinds of maniacs who can share the same sentiment on some level.

What of us who are able to enjoy the proverbial fruits of their labours? It's as though we'd been allowed to steal away their brains at their expense. Or perhaps it's the calling some of us need to make productive use of this lull in life, in the midst of all kinds of other life problems. Indeed, we may never actually solve the full set of problems laid before us, but we can at least solve the problems that either bother us the most or have a promising future attached. Will those that come after completely take one's work for granted? Most probably. But we strive not for credit's sake, but because we're inspired by some power from beyond to wrestle with a problem that, if left unchecked, will beat out his brains.

'Til next time, young padawan.

[nabateaprodigy]

I see. Thank you for answering my question!

Now, can I request Clanne/Citrinne fluff where Citrinne asks Clanne out on a date to go on a picnic together and watch some wildflowers? Also, Citrinne wants to confess her love for Clanne at the end of the date.

A Picnic and Flowers

Series: Fire Emblem.

Characters: Citrinne and Clanne.

Genre: Fluff.

Proofread: Yes.

Notes: This request is so adorable!! I loved Clanne and Citrinne's support in Engage I'm happy to write for a request like this! Also apologizes this probably took longer than it should have.

It was another peaceful in the Somniel however somewhere in the gardens of the Somniel. One of the many residents was having a problem. That resident was none other than Citrinne. But what was this problem Citrinne was facing?

Well, recently Citrinne and Clanne had grown rather close. A friendship bloomed between the two of them after both tended to a wildflower that was in poor condition. However, Citrinne had concluded that her feelings for Clanne went beyond friendship.

She was in fact in love with the boy and had wanted to ask him out on a date. Citrinne had been going back and forth on whether to ask him out the thought of being rejected worried her! However, after a while of back and forth, she had the confidence to ask him even if he were to reject her.

With a picnic basket in hand, Citrinne had out to find Clanne. The idea she had for their date was wonderful! It would be a picnic surrounded by many wildflowers at their favorite place in the Somniel.

After some time of Citrinne walking around the Somniel, she had finally spotted who she was looking for. "All alright Citrinne you can do this! You've gone over this multiple times there's nothing to fear!" Citrinne spoke as she approached Clanne.

"Hello, Clanne do you have free time as of now? If so would you like to join me for a picnic in our favorite spot?" Citrinne spoke awaiting Clanne's response. "Oh, Citrinne hi! That sounds great I'd love to join you for a picnic!"

"Yes, Citrinne you've done it!" Citrinne whispered to herself. "Oh did you say something?" Clanne questioned. "Me? Oh no! Nothing! Now let us make our way to our favorite spot for our picnic." Citrinne spoke as she and Clanne walked side by side to their favorite spot in the Somniel.

Once they reached their location Citrinne placed down the picnic blanket. She then sat down along with Clanne and began taking things out of the basket such as food to enjoy their picnic. "Wow, Citrinne this food is amazing!" Clanne said happily.

"I'm glad you like it Clanne we do know each other quite well so I made sure to get some of your favorites," Citrinne spoke as she and Clanne sat together enjoying the food she had brought with her.

It was a beautiful day truly a wonderful day for a picnic the sun shines brightly in the sky and a cool breeze in the air. To top it all off Citrinne and Clanne were in their favorite spot surrounded by many wildflowers.

"Clanne I asked you to be with me on this picnic as there's something I wish to say to you," Citrinne spoke as Clanne's attention was now on her. "I love you Clanne and I have felt this way for quite some time. Even if you don't return my feelings I understand." Citrinne spoke now nervously awaiting Clanne's response.

"I feel the same way Citrinne and I'm happy to know you feel the same. I was wanting to tell you the same thing but seems you beat me to it haha." Clanne let out a nervous laugh now waiting for Citrinne.

"Oh, you have no idea how happy this makes me Clanne! I'm just so happy and I love you so much!" Citrinne spoke tears forming in her eyes from the joy she was feeling. "And I love you as well Citrinne," Clanne spoke as the two friends now lovers. Enjoyed their picnic together surrounded by their favorite wildflowers.

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

I have a request! So Reader is curious about what Zhongli was like during the Archon war so Zhongli gives them a dream (With consent of course) where they meet Morax and reader gets fucked by him. Also Zhongli is watching too. If he manifests in the dream to join in or not is up to you.

This was the hardest fic I wrote so far because I had to think if I'd go for two dicks Zhongli or not. So anon, and everyone else, please suspend your disbelief in this fic. Yeah 4 cocks might be too much for one hole but listen as the new adage says "If there's a hole, there's a way!"

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Summary: A simple question borne out of curiosity leads you to experience a side of Zhongli that no historian had never even thought of.

It started from an innocuous question, one borne from curiosity and genuine desire to know more about him.

“What were you like, during the Archon Wars?” You had asked, the midday sun shining brightly through the bamboo leaves on the roads of Qingce.

Your hair fluttered in the soft winds, your silver bell tinkling with each step you took as it fluttered from the sides of your sash.

“Unpleasant” He had answered after a beat, he stopped observing you and looked forward, blankly staring at the road as he remembered the way he was.

Just as cold and as unfeeling as the rocks he had come from.

“Hmmm…”

Your curious tone became on the receiving end of his inquisitive look. You smiled at him, gentle and just shy of being embarrassed, “I think, you would have no patience for my usual antics. Had you been unfortunate enough to have met me then.”

“Perhaps,” Zhongli agreed but silently he thought, ‘I would have still come to like you.’

You laughed at his agreement, oblivious to his silent thoughts, “Ah~ but I feel like I would have so much fun teasing the version of you during the Archon Wars.”

“I bet you were so uptight during that time, like a stick in the mud!” You continued in playful banter, “I’d probably be the first person who’d get you so mad you’d be red in the face!”

Zhongli found amusement in the triumphant tone you held, your tone just as excited as it was when sharing theories with Miss Alice. Zhongli found comfort in that, the knowledge that even at his most scariest, and most unpleasant point in his life, you would be fond of him.

“Zhongli, do you think that if we met back then we’d be as close as we are now?” You asked him, “personally, I think that we wouldn’t be. I don’t think I would have been able to survive the aftermath of the Archon Wars.”

Zhongli paused in his walking, his joy washed away in your rationality.

“What makes you so sure of it?” He asked, ‘I would have protected you.’

You gave him a soft smile, “We wouldn’t have gotten along, I would probably punch you in the face. And then you’d get mad for the disrespect.”

Your laughter rang in his ears, as if mocking his sentiments even if he knew that your words held a modicum of truth in it. Back then, he had no qualms on dirtying his hands, no matter how gentle he tried to be, he never wavered in face of difficult decisions, always choosing the best option that would lead to victory.

How would he have reacted to you, who fought and found answers beyond what was given, always seeking a third option that would ensure a happy end. You were not meant for war, your ideals and kindness would have no place in those cruel times.

Even so, Zhongli wanted to prove you wrong.

“Then, shall we place a bet?”

“A bet?” You asked, eyes glinting in anticipation of a boon.

“Yes. I shall give you a dream, of sorts, that can transcend through time.”

“Ooooh~! Another one of those adepti arts, I presume?”

“Yes. I would let you meet the version of me before the height of the Archon Wars” Zhongli began to explain, “then if we manage to be as close as we are now, I have won the bet. If that version of me ends up loathing you, I acquiesce to your belief.”

“And what do I get if I win?” You asked.

“Whatever you wish for” He answered, eyes shining bright like cor lapis.

“Deal.”

--

The golden leaves of the gingko trees fluttered as it fell down to the ground. Morax sat on one of the edges on the numerous outcrops of Qingyun Peak. It was a rare moment of peace, there was no imminent danger that needed to be quelled. Liyue was in momentary peace. He sighed and let himself relax, enjoying the solitude up until he heard the soft sound of someone landing nearby.

In an instant he appeared before a human who wore strange clothing. He pointed his spear at them, “Speak, why do you trespass on the grounds of the Adepti?”

“Huh?” You blinked at him, slowly getting up as you patted the grass and dust off your clothes, “Damn, Zhongli wasn’t really kidding when he said you were too wounded up.”

Morax frowned at your impudence, “Mortal, that is not the way to speak to the Prime Adep-”

You raised your arm towards him, interrupting him as you offered, “Osmanthus wine! I’ll share it with you if you don’t get mad at me!”

Your wide smile, warm and inviting made him uneasy. An unknown feeling bursting in his chest as he stared into glinting eyes.

“Impudent” He said before moving to capture you and bring you down the mountain.

Despite moving at a speed impossible for a human to match, you had effortlessly evaded his hands. Your laughter rang loudly in the open field, teasing and amused. Zhongli frowned and quickly gave chase and yet you eluded him, teasing him by purposely letting him almost grab the hem of your sleeves only to speed up at the last possible second before appearing far away from him in another direction.

Frustration building up, Zhongli decided to use his geo to block your path, slowly studying your moves so as to anticipate where you would move. It went on and on, erecting stone steeles to block your path until you were caged and nowhere to run.

“Uwaa~” You panted, a mild tone of complaint seeping into your voice“How come you can’t even have tenderhearted feelings for this weak human?”

Morax frowned at your blatant lies, “No human would be able to match the speed and energy of an adepti the way you do.”

You gave him an amused smile, sweat dripping down your face, “That you’ve met. Have you ever made it out of Liyue?”

Morax didn’t answer, stony gaze boring down on you.

“Aiya~ what a tough crowd…” You trailed off and yet the smile on your face never wavered, “but if you keep up such an attitude towards me~ I’ll win the bet and have an adepti answer my whim~”

“What tricks have you done, mortal!” Morax pointed his spear at your throat.

Your smug look never wavered, “Ahahaha, I did no tricks Lord Adeptus~”

“Lies!” He denounced, “What sort of charm did you use to seduce one of my own?!”

“Seduce?” You blinked at him owlishly before a wide grin broke out on your face, “Oh, oh! You think I’m seductive?”

You pushed his spear away, sauntered to him, pressing your chest close to his, arms wrapping on his neck. With a voice dripping in honey and seduction, you whispered in his ear, “Does Lord Adeptus find me pleasing to his taste? Would you like to have a taste of me?”

Your lips moved to his exposed thoat, kissing the apple of it. Morax felt some sort of stirring within him, convinced that you had placed him in a trap, he pushed you off unconsciously gentle with his grip, “What sort of spell have you casted?!”

Your laughter, soft and oddly fond, made him uncomfortable. A feeling that he could not name settling in his bones. His chest was warm as he stared on the way the soft afternoon light shone on you, casting you in warm orange light as you laughed uncontrollably.

“No spell, just utterly charming in your eyes” You answered, fluttering your eyelids and gracing him with a smile he often found among the numerous brothels on Chihu Rock.

“Shameless!” He admonished as he took out a talisman and withit binded you.

“Oh~ How kinky~” You said with amusement as if you felt no danger.

‘Foolish mortal’ Morax thought privately as he pulled you along to begin the trek down the mountain only to stumble upon your next words.

“Does Lord Adeptus plan to have his wicked way with me then? Bring me somewhere secluded and show me the might of his jade pillar?”

“You! You! You!” Morax found himself at loss for words.

“Adepti would never stoop to such a barbaric act!”

“Oh” Your disappointed voice only served to confuse him, until you uttered your next accursed words, “I wouldn’t have minded if it was you~”

A wink sent his way accompanied by the odd motion of your lips had his face beet red. It was the first time he had ever suffered such a loss. Embarrassment gave way to anger when he heard your laughter, his hand moved to curse you until another voice stopped his movements.

“Must you resort to such means, to win our bet?”

Your smile brightened up as you saw Zhongli walk in the clearing, wearing his archon clothes. His hair swayed in the wind, gentle smile plastered on his face despite the chiding tone of his voice.

“But the appeal of having you indebted to me was too much to resist!” You answered with a jovial grin that made Morax pause.

“More of you?” Morax asked with great annoyance until he realized how much similarity he had shared with the new “guest”.

A split second was all it took before you found yourself encased in Zhongli’s familiar arms, his strong shield surrounding you both as Morax’ vortex vanquisher hit the shield. You blinked, slightly rattled but still relatively calm as if you weren’t just about to be skewered by the Lord of Geo.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, concern evident but you remained staring at Morax.

“Zhongli~ I’m starting to understand why you think I’d get along with this version of you!”

You grinned, eyes no longer glinting with plastic curiosity. Zhongli sighed and resigned to whatever consequence would be the outcome of your action.

It took several terse talks between Zhongli and Morax to draft an acceptable contract between the two of you and Morax. All of it just to accompany Morax in his day to day life. Zhongli found himself frequently being on the receiving end of a spear, or in some cases a glower from the amount of times you had teased his stubborn and unpleasant past self.

However, Zhongli could not deny that this version of him was growing fond of you, soft even, with the way Morax would occasionally gently steer you away from the geo vishaps or the rare times he would bring you to Azhdaha to play with the large geo dragon.

Though this soft moment would always, almost, be followed by your teasing. Zhongli wasn’t even spared from your flirtatious remarks though he did have the advantage of knowing you longer, thus he was able to render you speechless more often than not when compared to Morax. But from the past few days, Zhongli could see how Morax was learning and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before you would be rendered speechless by Morax as well.

Thus, the three of you spent the days in simple fun, getting to know each other, sharing battles and each moment Zhongli spent observing how you acted with Morax brought him some sort of warmth, happiness at your acceptance and your rationality during such troubled times. It was true that your kindness would not have survived but Zhongli could see that if you truly had lived in this time, your kindness would have just taken another form, adapting and yet remaining all the same.

You were a safe haven, for him, for Morax, and for those who met you in this troubled times. A human who stubbornly remained kind, who audaciously declared that even Celestia could be wrong. This side of you that remained hidden in the present times, flourished like a well cared for silk flower.

Therefore, it really should not have surprised him to see Morax begin courting you, not that you noticed, and yet it did. Surprise and discontent warring inside him, both claiming that you were his and one discrediting his former self. He figured that the same thing was most likely happening with Morax, from the dangerous glint in the other’s eye when he drew close to you or held you by the waist.

--

Somewhere between teasing Morax and having Zhongli recount his past through the various strolls you took in Liyue Harbor, you noticed the almost possessive way Morax would act towards you, the barely kept aggressiveness directed to Zhongli whenever he would care for you or the occasional soft growls towards threats you didn’t even notice.

It was fascinating to watch him, and you made no secret of it. So a part of you couldn’t help but blame yourself for provoking a dragon. Really, what sort of person says, “I can take you” to a god of war?

“Me, apparently” You thought with great regret and annoyance as you found yourself benign subjected to the intense bedroom look of Morax.

“Can you?” Morax purred, eyes glinting with something primal and you can’t help but be entranced.

You have always been drawn to beautiful and dangerous things.

In contrast to his predator smile, his kiss was gentle but no less passionate than your previous lovers. Morax’ grip on your body was firm but gentle, bringing you close to his rock hard body. You gripped his clothes as you opened your mouth wider, letting his inhuman tongue explore your mouth.

In the privacy of his abode, you didn’t hesitate to tangle with him. Battling for dominance in the bed, a passionate dance of desire that had the dragon in him purring in delight. Morax bit your neck and you moaned in pleasure before making the split decision to bite him back.

Your clothes were askew, private parts exposed to the cold air and you returned the favor to Morax. His hair was untied and his thick cocks sprung out as soon as your hands pulled down his pants. In a fluid movement, you easily took both of his cocks inside your mouth.

Morax, who had never experienced such a thing, felt his heart quicken just as his arousal rose once more. It was a testament for his new found feelings towards you that he let his guard down and lost himself to the sensation of your tongue and mouth as it sucked him off. His hand clasped the back of your neck and held you still as he began fucking your mouth.

Your moans of pleasure made wonderful vibrations that intensified his arousal, drool dribbled down on the side of your lips as you slowly lost yourself to the haze of pleasure. His bed shook with each vigorous thrust that hit the back of your throat, he stilled inside your mouth, his cocks managing to not make gag as it spilled thick loads of cum down your throat.

Morax smirked at you and you smiled back, lazy and challenging. He laid you on the bed, body naked as the day you were born. Despite his recent orgasm, his cocks were still erect and throbbing, you bit your lip in anticipation.

Legs spread wide, exposing your hole that was calling out for his cocks with each twitch that was visible in Morax’ eyes, you were the picture of desire. Morax swore as soon as he plunged his cocks inside your tight and warm hole, you moaned feeling as if you had ascended to Celestia itself when his cocks stretched your hole. The burn, a mixture of pleasure and pain.

He moved slowly, coaxing you with sweet words as you cried out in pain and pleasure until the only feeling left was pleasure. For all of his inexperience, Morax was good at reading people and body language, and yours was the easiest he had read. It took him barely a minute before he was able to accurately tell which parts sent you to a high, which part of you brought forth more arousal.

He sucked on your tits as he thrusted into you, hitting your sensitive spot that had you moaning and begging his name. Your lustful moans felt more devoted than any other prayer he had received from his people. Your kisses felt more divine than any offering he had ever tasted.

If there had been another way to reach Divinity, Morax had no doubt that making love with you was one of them. Each touch from you sent his body aflame, each call of his name made him feel more of a god that he wasn’t.

Oh! How he wanted to drown in you for eternity until erosion came for him. He wanted you in all the ways he never understood, each particle of his cell calling out to yours, and Morax felt it too much so he poured each and every emotion you made him feel in fucking you. He fucked you as if to brand himself in you in all the ways that matter. He plunged his cocks inside you again and again, bringing you countless orgasms as you submissively let him maneuver your body however he wanted.

He fucked you from behind, thrusting hard enough to leave marks on your buttocks, spilling his seed again and again without stopping his thrusts as you came again and again.

He fucked you sideways, spreading your legs high and wide, as his mouth kissed and bit your neck, his hand pinching and twisting your nipples while his cocks slid in and out of your hole that was overflowing with his seed. He broke you apart with each round and mended you over and over again until you lost count of the times you came.

Both of you were so focused on each other that neither of you noticed the arrival of Zhongli.

And what a sight it was to behold, the way your body contorted in half as he watched Morax impale you with his cock again and again, the scent of sex heavy in the air. Zhongli felt his cock stir, quickly hardening as the lewd sounds of flesh clapping echoed loudly, he moved slowly as he divested himself of his clothes until he reached the side of the bed just as you and Morax laid on the bed, panting from the most recent orgasm.

He observed your body seeing the marks and bruises that littered it on top of the numerous drying flecks of cum on your skin. He swallowed his saliva and spoke,

“Perhaps there is room for one more?”

And your smile, inviting and sparkling at the thought of another challenge, made him breathless and helplessly fond of you all over again. The continuous and seemingly never ending cycle of him falling for you over and over again was one he would never tire of.

“Why don’t you come over and see for yourself?” You said, positioning yourself to lie on Morax as you spread your legs once more, hands going to your hole and spreading it for Zhongli to properly appreciate.

You felt Morax’ cum dribble down just as you felt his displease growl.

“I bet I can take the two of you at once”

There was no such thing as a medicine for regret, and it was one you had no need for. Not when two predatory glint brought you to a new height of pleasure.

Zhongli’s thrust was just as hard if not rougher than Morax, as if he was releasing centuries of frustrations to your abused hole, not that you were complaining. You were already lost to the pleasure of their cocks filling you and stretching you, all semblance of rationality thrown away as you begged for their cocks.

Zhongli’s cocks fucked your hole, easily slipping in and out from the cocks it had been receiving from Morax, Zhongli’s cocks were thicker but shorter when compared to Morax. Despite that his skillful thrust had you clamping and twisting as your mouth busied itself with Morax’ cocks.

Between the two of them, not a single part of you remained untouched. Your body was stained with their love, their marks littering every inch of your skin, their hands leaving bruises on your skin as you sank deeper and deeper into them. The overpowering scent of cum filled your senses as Zhongli and Morax threw away their rationality and began to fuck you like beasts in heat.

The fact that you could take them both at once, was proven true, with the way your holes relentlessly sought their cocks, how you ignored your bruised knees just to get into a better position for them. And it pleased them terribly, made them want you more. To make you theirs permanently and for as long as they breathe. It made them fuck you harder, just to reach deeper inside you, spilling their thick cum inside you until it over flowed.

You moaned, joy mixing with pleasure as you came just as they filled you to the brim. White spots filling your vision until you finally passed out. Your body remained responsive, your hole twitching as Zhongli continued fucking you through your orgasm.

Morax grinned, animalistic, as he took his cocks and smeared the remaining cum on your lips and then spreading it on your face, “You really could take us both at once.”

His cum spilled from the slight gap in your mouth, his thumb gently pushed it back inside before he turned to Zhongli, “Shall we see if they can take all of our cocks in one hole?”

Zhongli stilled as he spilled more of his cum inside, then he answered, “Let’s see how long it takes before they wake up as well.”

The two of them worked together, loosening your hole until it was able to fit four cocks inside, your walls spasmed with every thrust as your let out unconscious moans with the immense amount of pleasure from having four cocks inside you. Your unconscious and limp body was sandwiched between Zhongli and Morax, your nipples played with until it was sore and overly stimulated. The two of them didn’t stop fucking you until your stomach was filled with their cum, their cocks repeatedly penetrated you, thrusting inside you again and again until they had their fill.

Their cum created pools of semen on the bed sheets, some of it on the floor when the two decided to switch positions, trying out different positions with your unconscious but eager body until they were satisfied. By the time you woke up it was already afternoon of the next day, your body utterly sore from all the sex it went through.

You blinked and realized that there was someone sleeping beside you, a quick glance on the side and you recognized Zhongli, ‘The dream must have already ended’ you thought as you slowly got up from the bed.

Except your legs could barely stand, making you fall into the floor in a flash. You blinked, your mind not registering the pain but instead focusing on the feeling of something warm dripping down from between your thighs.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, the vestiges of sleep clinging on his eyes, as he frantically assisted you back to the bed.

His torso was filled with scratches and bite marks. You flushed with embarrassment as you recognized the marks you left on him.

“I-just what happened after I passed out?”

“The first or the second one?”

“?”

Zhongli smiled tenderly at you, “It’s alright if you can’t remember, I’m sure another round would jog your memory.”

Like a magic trick, his words had your hole eagerly twitching with anticipation. Coyly you lied back on the bed and spread your legs, showing him your glistening, cum filled hole.

“Perhaps” You agreed with a seductive smile, “I’m sure I can take you well.”

[imtooscaredforthis]

Tethered

Part II- Chapter 19: Torn

Mentions of: Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Break Up, and lots and lots of Angst…

Tags: @dekadentautist @prettycutebunny @moonshineinasippycup @dead-bxxxtch-walking @mama-miya @froegis

A/N: School just started up for me again and I’m dyingggg This isn’t the end, btw, just a very sad angsty chapter..

With a sigh, you unzipped your bag, starting to pack for the next home you were going to be moved to. Hopefully, it’ll be someplace better than this hellhole.

Even though you were exhausted from constantly being beat down and hurt by the world, you still held some optimism that you would find somewhere safe and loving. Maybe it would even be your next foster home.

You know that it’s unlikely, but there’s nothing wrong with dreaming.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, pulling you out of your thoughts. Frank was sitting on the bed beside you, listening to his headphones and trying to get some peace before he had to experience the chaos of the move.

“I’ll get it.” You said, mostly to yourself. Opening the door, you spotted a man standing there. One you didn’t recognize. “Miss (l/n)?”

“Uh, yes, that’s me. What’s this about?” You asked nervously. He didn’t answer, just handed you an envelope, with your name and address on it.

He wasn’t dressed like a mailman or anything, so why was he delivering it? “It’s from your great aunt.”

You have a great aunt? You tore the letter open, reading it eagerly, curious to know what was going on.

Dear (y/n),

I’m sorry you’re getting this letter so late. I tried sending it before, but the foster agency refused to let me contact you until you were at least seventeen.

I know this is the first time you’re hearing of me, but I’d like to take care of you and claim legal guardianship. I’m terribly sorry for what happened with your mother and father, and I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but I promise to take good care of you and love you as one of my own.

If you do take me up on this offer, we will only stay in Canada for another two years. Then, I plan on getting my green card and moving to America. There, I will spend what I can to get you a good education.

I know this is a lot to think about, so take your time and let me know your answer when you’re ready.

Love, your Great Aunt Everett

Your jaw dropped. Who knew that your life could change completely from just one letter? She was right, this is a lot to think about.

“Once you make up your mind, just give me a call, and I’ll let her know.” The man handed you his business card, before waking off.

You watched him leave, before staring down at the card in your hands. Lloyd Sommers - Attorney at Law

You sat down on the front step of the old house, and you thought, and thought, and thought. Then, you cried. For once in a long time, they were not tears of sadness, but tears of joy.

After a long, forty-five minutes of crying and figuring out what to do with this turn of events, you ran upstairs to tell Frank the news. He was sleeping now, but you didn’t care, this is life-changing, and he has to know.

“Frank, Frank, Frank!!” You called excitedly, shaking him awake. He jolted awake, jumping slightly. “What?!”

“Just look.” You shoved the letter in his face. Tiredly, he rubbed his eyes, pulled the earbuds from his ears, and read the letter.

His expression changed from sleepy to confused, not knowing what you were so excited about. “Don’t you see? This is our chance at a new life. We can finally have a nice, loving home, and we can get a good education, and a good job, and-”

“Yeah, well, this letter is addressed to you. This is for you to have a better life, not me.” He muttered bitterly, making you frown.

“Don’t be like that, Frank. I’ll explain our situation to her, and I’ll make sure I won’t leave without you. Aren’t you tired of living in places like this? Horrible, dysfunctional homes with bad people?”

“Places like this are all I’ve ever known. I don’t want to go.” He persisted, and god, why is he being so difficult right now? “Frank, please. I don’t want to go without you. But I can’t live like this anymore. Why do you want to continue living through this hell? Don’t you want to be loved?”

“I’m not like you (y/n). I’ve never been loved. I’ve never grown up with loving parents, and I don’t need them. Love is weakness, and you can’t be weak in this world.” He told you, with little to no emotion in his voice.

He watched as your eyes glossed over with heartbreak, tears threatening to fall. Then, you spoke; your voice no louder than a whisper. “But I love you.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

That hurt you..badly. Frank hoped it would be enough to push you away. To get you to leave without him.

It seemed like it worked, because without another word, you left the room, slamming the door behind you.

–

For years, you had stuck with Frank through thick and thin. You refused to abandon him. You loved him. So why was he going back to the way things used to be? When he was cold, distant, and calloused?

It doesn’t matter, because you’re done. You’ve spent years trying to help him and he broke your heart. You can’t handle this anymore.

Frank is damaged, but with the right help, he could heal. You tried to be that person, but now you realize that you can’t be. You have to let him search for help on his own…You hope he’ll do that.

But this is your way out, and you can’t stay in these horrible foster homes. They’ve broken you down, mentally and physically, and you couldn’t take it.

Unlike Frank, you want to live with your loved ones. You want to be cared for, and that’s what you deserve. It’s what anyone does, even if they don’t believe it themselves.

So, that night, you called the lawyer, preparing to leave the next day.

–

You’re suffering. Frank can see that. You weren’t raised in a place like this, and you can’t handle it like he can.

You’re too good for this world, especially for this place. So he wanted you to leave and go somewhere nicer, somewhere he didn’t deserve to be. Hurting you like this killed him, but it had to be done.

He knew things would end up like this, despite how much he loved you, he knew he wouldn’t be able to have you forever. He didn’t deserve you and you were too stubborn to leave him. But hurting you like this is better than having you continue to suffer and get broken down by this place like he was.

Here the two of you sat, on the front porch of the rickety old house with your luggage laid out on the splintering wooden deck beneath you. Neither of you looked at each other, besides a few glances here and there, not speaking a word as you waited. While you waited to be taken to your Aunt’s, to finally be a part of a family again and to be loved, Frank was preparing for his new foster home, and the potential abuse and cruelty that awaited him.

The silence broke when a silver car pulled up to the driveway, the lawyer that delivered your letter once before here to pick you up. You stood, taking a shaky breath, turning to Frank one last time.

“Goodbye, Frank.”

“Bye.” He said, trying to keep his voice from cracking, trying to swallow the pain and heartbreak he was feeling, knowing he had to let you go.

He watched as you put your things in the car and left, your paths that were once so heavily intertwined now forking off into different directions, journeys and lives once tethered together now torn apart.

[stiltonbasket]

how my love springs deep

by stiltonbasket

(read here on AO3!)

Summary:

My Lan Zhan, his husband calls him. Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan.

Or, the one where Wei Wuxian feeds rabbits, and Lan Wangji reads a love letter.

(brief a/n: this fic was inspired by this heartbreaking work of beauty by @pakhnokh--I had to write Lan Wangji getting adored after witnessing it, come join me on the angst parade T~T)

____

My Lan Zhan, 

    It has been two years and more since I last wrote you a letter, for marriage has joined us both at the hip, and ensured that we are never more than a touch or a cry away from one another. I have you by me always, in every hour of every day; and every love-word that crosses my mind finds its way to my lips in the very moment of its birth, and reaches your ears just as quickly, for I could no more keep silent in my devotion to you than swim the full length of the Songhuajiang against the current. And so I go about my days hence, calling “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, my Lan Zhan” all the while: but today I have woken before chenshi, and you are still asleep beside me with Xiao-Yu in your arms, and though my every nerve and vein is aching for love of my husband, I cannot bear to wake you to say so. 

    Lan Zhan, sweetheart—when we were first married, you told me once that I colored the world for you the instant we met, and brought every shade of the rainbow with me from Yunmeng to make the Cloud Recesses beautiful. You said that the air that touched me at the gate smelt as if lightning had passed through it, and that the very stones I knelt on in the lanshi’s courtyard began to glitter after I departed, though they had never done such a thing before—and that the Cloud Recesses itself, having been a place of peace and reflection before my arrival, was filled with delight and warmth after my coming, as if that first day was the dawn after a long, long night, and I the sun who gifted it to you. 

    Heaven knows I had no equal words with which to worship you then, my darling, for I was young and still bewildered to know that you loved me. But I have been your husband for nearly three years now, and so I must tell you this—you have driven me mad for love of you, Lan Zhan, and it has been so since we first crossed swords on the rooftop gate when we were eighteen. 

    How mad, you ask? The classics say that love is a proper, courtly thing, to be shown with modesty before others and in its full force only in confidence. But I have never been proper, and so I must tell you that if you were a flint and steel, seeking only to light a flame and a tinder-heap to light it in, I would take form as a sun-parched forest, and set myself afire at your touch so that I might be beside you thus. If you were a god, roaming the heavenly kingdoms while my mortal flesh kept me constrained below, I would take the habit of a priest and devote myself to your prayer; and if you were a grain of sand in the Gebi desert, and I a traveler sick with thirst, I would fall to my knees and sift through every dune and basin to find you before drinking even a drop of water. 

    If I were freezing in the great mountains above Gusu, whose peaks are lush in the springtime but shrouded in snow in the winter, I would be well and happy if I had the warmth of your hand in mine; and when I am in my jishi, with the doors thrown open to let in the wind, I drop my knives and tools at the sound of your voice and stand there enraptured until you fall silent again. My heart nearly beats out of my body with everything you say, and everything you do; and when you look at me I lose all knowledge of speech and reason, recalling nothing but your name and your smiles unless some show of wit is necessary—which it very well might be, with you and I being what we are, and all our doings riddled with puzzles that would have bewildered even the scholars who founded our clan. 

    Lan Zhan, I love you so desperately that to be away from you is torment, and to be with you has always been paradise, even when you were sitting on one side of the library pavilion and reading Lan An’s poetry, and I was on the other with my brush and parchment, pretending to copy lines while I sketched a portrait of you and painted flowers into your hair. You have made me more your own with every passing day, though in every moment I fully belong to you, and there is no strangeness in it—as if new pieces of my spirit are formed shichen by shichen, and bound unto you before drawing their first breaths.

    I could go on endlessly, xingan, and exhaust even the lanshi’s stocks of paper in my adoration—but it will soon be breakfast time, and the hens have not been fed, nor the eggs collected, and neither have the rabbits been given their greens. I must go and tend to them now; only wait for me, and I will be back at your side again before you have time to miss me. 

    Ever yours, my husband—

        Wei Ying.

    P.S.—I left a pot of ginger porridge on the table by the bed, if you should wake and be hungry before I return. There is only a little, since the rest is still cooking in the kitchen, and you and A-Yu will still have an appetite for breakfast if you finish it all. 

_____

After Lan Wangji wakes and reads the folded letter on his bedside table, he scarcely glances at the tiny blue pot of ginger congee before stumbling out of bed and putting his shoes on. He is dressed in nothing but a thin white undergown, since he gave up dressing warmly at night when he first began sleeping beside Wei Ying; but he does not bother putting on a coat, and pauses only long enough to tuck a sleepy Xiao-Yu back under the covers before bounding out of the jingshi and hurrying downhill in his nightshirt. 

“Wei Ying!” he calls, when he passes the tidy chicken pen—home to ten brown hens, which Lan Wangji brought to the Cloud Recesses as a gift for Wei Ying before they were married—and finds the chickens pecking away in the yard, eating grains of fresh corn that had clearly just been thrown out by Wei Ying’s dear hands. But Wei Ying must have finished collecting the eggs, and gone on towards the warded field on the fringes of the bamboo forest to scatter vegetables for the rabbits; so Lan Wangji presses on, running with the wind at his back and the sharp pebbles underfoot almost piercing through his slippers. He reaches the rabbit field in less than a minute, careening between stalks of bamboo like a man possessed, and throws himself at Wei Ying so forcefully that he knocks his husband backwards into the soft grass at their feet. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying wheezes, as his lettuce basket flies out of his hand and lands near the entrance to a burrow: mercifully, the basket of eggs must have been set aside somewhere else before Wei Ying arrived to feed the rabbits. “Lan Zhan, sweetheart, what are you doing here? Is Xiao-Yu—?”

“Do not worry. Xiaohui is still asleep,” Lan Wangji assures him, bringing Wei Ying’s sun-warmed hands to his mouth and kissing them. “I came to find you because I read your letter.”

Wei Ying smiles, beaming from ear until Lan Wangji finds himself gasping for breath at the beauty of the sight before him. “I thought you must have. You were cuddled up against me when I woke up, and you were holding Xiao-Yu between us to keep him warm...and I couldn’t help it, Lan Zhan! You were so sweet that my heart could scarcely bear it, so of course I had to write it down for you.”

“Perhaps I should take up the habit of writing you love letters,” muses Lan Wangji, kissing Wei Ying’s delighted grin straight from his lips. “What do you think, xingan?”

“I think that waking to find you beside me every morning already brings me so much joy I could burst, darling. If you really did start leaving love letters for me to find, I would fold myself into your arms and never come out again.”

“Mm, perhaps you would. But that would please me greatly, so I suppose I will have to do it.”

His husband pinches his cheek. “Lan Zhan!”

“I am listening, beloved. With all my heart.”

Wei Ying covers his face and tries to roll out of Lan Wangji’s grasp, wriggling about six inches away before Lan Wangji takes him by the waist and draws him back. “Lan Zhan,” he wails, as a couple of baby rabbits hop up onto Lan Wangji’s back. “You can’t say such things, you silly man! See how my face is burning, look!”

“I’m looking,” Lan Wangji teases, tracing Wei Ying’s red cheeks with the pads of his own pale fingers. “I am always looking. I love my husband dearly, and he is very beautiful to look at.”

“Well, my husband is not so young as he used to be. Perhaps he is mistaken.”

“Oh?” He punctuates the inquiry with another searing kiss, pulling Wei Ying up into his arms and holding him so close that he can feel the stutter of his breathing, and his pulse beating quickly against Lan Wangji’s wrist. “Do you really think so?”

But the only reply Wei Ying gives him is a tender look that shakes Lan Wangji down to his jindan, and leaves him struggling for air all over again as Wei Ying wraps his arms around him. 

In the end, they do not leave the clearing until nearly half an hour later; the grass is as comfortable a cushion as two sweethearts could want, and the rabbits keep leaping around them and making Wei Ying laugh, so they lie there, cheek to cheek and chest to chest until they remember Xiao-Yu, all by himself in the jingshi with no one to hear him cry if he wakes up frightened to find himself alone. 

The thought of their son has Lan Wangji leaping to his feet with Wei Ying’s hand in his, and then they bolt back towards the house and retrieve the basket of eggs on the way, running nearly fast enough to outstrip Wen Ning at his swiftest before Wei Ying throws the doors open and barrels into the bedroom. 

“A-Yu!” he calls, letting out a shout of laughter as Lan Wangji comes jogging up behind him. “Xiao-Yu, baobei, what are you doing?”

“I’m eating ginger porridge,” Xiao-Yu chirps. The little lotus-shaped pot of congee is nestled snugly in his arms, and A-Yu is eating out of it with the large spoon Wei Ying left behind for Lan Wangji. “Papa and A-Niang went out, so Xiao-Yu is having breakfast.”

“Aiyah, Xiao-Yu,” Wei Ying groans, taking the pot away from A-Yu and wiping his dirty face with a handkerchief. “That was for you and Papa, sweetheart, since I was going to be late back. How will you eat your breakfast properly now?”

“But A-Yu is still hungry,” the little boy insists, trying to grab the spoon. “A-Niang, let me finish?”

“Wait a little longer,” scolds Wei Ying. “I still have to cook the rest of the porridge with steamed dan, and make chicken soup to go with it. Now be a good child and go with Papa to take your bath, and breakfast will be ready when you finish dressing.”

Xiao-Yu nods and jumps off the bed, scurrying off towards the washroom on the other side of the house, and leaves his parents to embrace each other once again before they part to attend to their own duties. 

“What do you want this afternoon, qinai?” Lan Wangji murmurs, as Wei Ying’s head falls onto his shoulder. “The tradesmen ought to have sent up the day’s groceries by now, so I will make lunch while you teach your talisman class.”

Wei Ying blinks, very slowly, and then he stands up on his toes and plants one last, lingering kiss between Lan Wangji’s eyebrows. 

“Teach my talisman class with me,” he entreats. “When we get back, we can make lunch together.”

(And so they do, and just like all the other dishes Lan Wangji has shared with Wei Ying, that afternoon’s luncheon tastes fresher and sweeter than every meal before it.)

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Drawings on Ice (Part Two) | Charlie Gillespie

A/N: Part two to the Hockey Player! Charlie x Artist!Reader au! Hope you like it! :) You can read part one HERE

Pairing: Hockey Player!Charlie Gillespie x Artist!Reader

Warnings: a fight, mentions of blood, curse words

Words: 3,948

There hasn’t been a day you didn’t spend together. You go to every single one of his hockey practices and games, after which you head to the café for some coffee -- or in Charlie’s case, hot chocolate. He joins you and Andrea on your study dates, mostly to just annoy you by poking you with his pencil, begging you to go somewhere else. On nights where he doesn’t have practice and you’re not in the library to study, the two of you spend time in either one of your dorms to watch movies or tv-shows, cuddled up on the bed. 

Though a lot of people started thinking  you are a couple, you hadn’t talked about that with Charlie yet. Even after him telling you about that reputation of his, you still wanted to be cautious. Your heart has been broken many times, you didn’t think it could handle another. Especially with a guy like Charlie. “Hey, Gorgeous,” Charlie greets flirtily when you arrive at the ice rink to watch him practice. You’ve got your sketchpad clutched to  your chest, ready to work on some of the Hockey Team’s drawings. “Hi, Char,” you say back, unable to withhold a giggle at his pet name for you. He’s been calling  you Gorgeous since the day after you went to the coffee house for the first time after the game. “Don’t you have to go and listen to what your coach is saying?” you ask, noticing the other’s gathering to listen to the coach’s instruction. He glances back at the team, then turns back to you with that charming, flirty smile of his you’ve come to love. “Nah, I’d rather say hello to a beautiful girl than listen to the coach blab about strategies that don’t work.” You roll your eyes at his obvious flirty behavior. Lately, though, he’s only ever flirting with you. You haven’t seen him talk to many other girls except you and Andrea, and between the two of you, he only ever flirts with you. Mostly because Sam will kill him if he does flirt with Andrea. “Hey, will you stay until after practice? I wanna show you something!” Charlie is always excited about everything, but this time, it tops all the others. His eyes are sparkling with hope and excitement, the hazel color turning more gold than brown, and his mouth is curled up into the brightest, widest smile you’d ever seen. “Yeah, of course!” you reply, trying to match his excitement. “Gillespie, get your ass over here!” Coach yells at him, which Charlie rolls his eyes at, making you chuckle. His gloved hand takes yours, basically ripping it off your sketchpad, and kisses your knuckles before giving you a wink and then skating off to join the team. All the boys welcome him back with a teasing uproar of cheers and wolf whistles. You chuckle, rolling your eyes amusedly, and then make your way to the bleachers where you continue working on your drawings, glancing up every now and then to watch Charlie on the ice. There was something about the way he skated around. So elegant. So peaceful. Charlie really is in his element on the ice. It’s the most adorable and attractive version of Charlie you know of. It’s the side of him you love the most since it’s the side you draw him in the most. Practice is over sooner than you thought it would and it only takes Charlie about fifteen minutes to come out of the dressing rooms, showered and ready to go. “Are you ready?” he asks, taking your hand to help you up from your seat. “I have no clue where we’re going, but yeah?” you reply as he leads you out of the rink, still holding your hand while your other clutches your sketchpad. He takes you across campus, going way faster than your feet can take. Your giggles fleet through the night sky, making some heads turn of students on their way to a party or their dorms. He takes you into the astrology building, through hallways and corridors until you reach the auditorium. He lets go of your hand and pushes the heavy doors open. You’re amazed those doors aren’t locked, but you’ve learned to just roll with whatever Charlie’s doing. The sight you’re met with right now is a breathtaking one. Blankets and pillows on the floor, food spread all around it, a guitar on the side, fairy lights scattered all around to illuminate the dark room, and, most importantly, a breathtaking view on the night sky. You scuffle inside, giving your eyes the time and pleasure to take it all in as Charlie stands back, watching you with an endeared, tender smile on his face. Once you feel you’ve seen everything, you turn around to Charlie. “Wha--? Charlie?” He laughs at your surprised and confused face before walking up to you and taking your hand again, now leading you towards the pile of blankets and pillows. “I’m buddies with the astrology professor, he gave me the keys and Andrea and her friends helped me put all of this in here,” he explains as the two of you sit down. With your mouth a little ajar, you look up to the beautiful stars above you. Charlie’s hand comes into your peripheral as he’s pointing up to show you something. “That’s the Big Dipper up there, right above us,” he informs you. “And that one over there,” he moves his hand slightly, “is Sirius, it’s considered to be the most beautiful star, but I beg to differ.” You look at him, finding him already looking at you with that flirty smile on his face again. “Oh, shut up.” You slap him on the chest playfully, unable to hide your smile or the blush that’s creeping up on your cheeks. Charlie definitely notices, but doesn’t say anything. Just knowing he has that effect on you, is enough for him. “So,” he opens the basket and takes out a bottle of white wine. “Andi told me you liked white wine, so… I told her she could buy a bottle she thinks you’d like and I paid her.” You chuckle at his explanation and nod your head. “I do love a good white wine.” He pours some of the goddess liquid into two glasses, and hands one to you. “You really are a charmer, Gillespie,” you say as you clink your glasses together, looking in each other’s eyes. “Is it working yet?” he asks while you take a sip. You let out a small moan at how good this wine is before looking up at Charlie again, a little confused at what he’s hinting at. “Is what working?” He chuckles nervously, twirling his wine around and staring at the whirlpool it’s creating. “What?” you chuckle, trying to capture his eyes. He finally looks up at you, his eyes sparkling with joy and hope, his mouth curling up into the most tender smile you’d ever seen. “What, Charlie?” you try again, getting a little insecure. “I thought it’d be pretty obvious right now that I’m insanely in love with you?” he blurts out with a nervous quiver in his tone. You’re taken aback by this answer. You knew he kind of liked you and his flirty behavior has increased over the days, but you thought that was it. A crush and a bit of harmless flirting. Nothing quite as serious as being in love. “Oh…” you manage to bring out. “Charlie, I--” he shakes his head, shutting you up. “No, I get it, Y/N. It’s fine. You don’t want to date someone with a reputation like mine. I get it…” You exhale slowly and place your glass of wine on the floor before grabbing Charlie’s hands in yours. He looks up at this, unsure of what’s happening. “It’s not you, Charlie.... I don’t care about the reputation you have because I get to see who you really are… And I like you, but I’m trying to be cautious with who I’m dating. My heart’s been broken many times before, and before you say ‘I’m not going to break your heart’, I know. You’re probably not, but… I just…” You heave in a deep breath, trying to think of something. “Just give me some time, okay?” You place a hand on his cheek and rub your thumb against the soft skin as it wrinkles into that beautiful, charming smile again. “Yeah, okay,” he replies, placing his hand on yours on his cheek. “We still… We still get to hang out though, right?” he queries carefully. You chuckle at this, retreating your hand, and nodding. “Phew! And you’re still coming to the game tomorrow?” “Yeah, of course. Wouldn’t want to miss it,” you reply and grab a grape from the basket. “Good, because I’m going to need my lucky charm when we play against St. Mary’s.” You shoot him a questioning look, tilting your head slightly. “They’re our biggest rivals. They’ve won against every other university, including us last season. We really have to beat them tomorrow.” You nod your head understandingly. “I’ll wear my best cheerleading outfit,” you say jokingly. Though, judging from Charlie’s eyes nearly popping out of his eye sockets, you know he’s not opposed to that idea. “I don’t have a cheerleading outfit, Char,” you tell him, just to be sure. His face falters, clearly disappointed. “You’d look hot in that though,” he mutters under his breath, but you heard him, loud and clear. With an amused smile plastered on your face, you shake your head at him. Even after his confession from earlier, nothing has changed between the two of you.  And for now, that’s all you need. 

Dressed in black skinny jeans, Charlie’s Canada sweater he left in your dorm one night, and a beanie over your ears, you go to the ice rink. Andrea has already taken a seat in the bleachers, so you go up and join her. “How was your date last night?” she asks immediately without missing a beat. “It wasn’t a date. But it was really fun. Thank you, by the way. The wine was divine.” She chuckles and taps your thigh twice. “You’re most welcome,” she says. “Oh, look! Here come the boys!” she points to the ice where the team skates onto the field, ready to kick St. Mary’s ass. You lock eyes with Charlie as he gets into position. His lips turn up into a somewhat relieved smile, like he was scared she wouldn’t turn up after his confession last night. You offer him a wave and then a thumbs-up, shooting some encouragement his way. The first half goes really well. Charlie and Sam score most of the goals, but by half-time, they’re tied with St. Mary since their right and left wings are amazing players too. The coach calls the team to gather as you and Andrea make your way down to say hi afterwards. “St. Mary’s left wing has a weak knee,” you tell Charlie when he’s skated up to you, taking his helmet off and shaking his hair out. “Hello to you too,” he chuckles, placing one gloved hand over yours as they clutch the rink. “Sorry, hi! I saw their number 12 buckle a little when you accidentally hit his knee. I think you could use that to your advantage.” You’d never paid this much attention to a game, but knowing the team has to win against St. Mary, you figured you could use your observation skills to your advantage to find one for them. “Look who’s paying attention,” he smirks at you, which you amusedly roll your eyes at. “Thanks,” he adds when the ref blows his whistle to signal the start of the second half. “Good luck, Char,” you say and lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek. His eyes widen slightly at the sudden display of affection, unable to hide his cheeks reddening. You can’t help but smile as he skates off, ready for the second half. “You can’t tell me you’re not in love with him, Peaches,” Andrea says as she snakes an arm around your shoulders whilst you both walk back to your seats. “I am not in love with Charlie, Andi,” you reassure her, but you’re not even so sure anymore yourself. You’ve caught  yourself thinking about Charlie on more occasions than one, dreamt of kissing him, wished you could just spend more time with him. You knew you were slowly, but surely falling for him. Even after many attempts of occupying yourself with other thoughts. Nothing really seemed to work. But you were still going to deny it. To Charlie. To Andrea. But mostly, to yourself. You were so preoccupied by talking to Andrea, you didn’t even notice what was happening behind  you as you were getting back to your seat. “Yo, Gillespie,” St. Mary’s number 12 captures his attention, “Isn’t that new love of yours the weirdo artist kid that draws everyone they see like a stalker?.” Charlie’s jaw clenched as his hands balled up into fists. Sam intervenes before his buddy can take as much as a step forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not worth it, man. Let’s just finish this game, okay?” Sam suggests. Charlie nods his head, calming down slightly as he starts making his way to his spot on the ice, only for number 12 to add some fuel to the fire. “What’s wrong, Gillespie? You’re not even going to defend them?” Charlie halts, trying his hardest to refrain himself. “So, you agree with me that they’re a fucking creepy stalker?” Charlie’s hands are back into fists, gripping harshly onto his hockey stick. “I can’t wait until after the game, so I can--” before number 12 finishes his sentence, Charlie drops his helmet and harshly tugs his gloves off before hitting the guy in his knee with his stick, making him tumble over onto the ice. He sits down on top of him, lashing out at the boy underneath. The ref whistles again while Charlie’s teammates try to get him off number 12, to no avail. Number 12 then takes over and rolls the both of them over, Charlie underneath him now, and punches him in the face a few times. You watch the spectacle from half-way to your seat, staring at the boys on the ice in pure shock and horror. You’re frozen in place, unsure about what to do. Though Charlie looks extremely hot, yet it looks so horrible. Why is it when boys fight, does it look so horrible, yet, feel so right? Soon enough, the boys are pulled apart by their coaches. There are blood splatters everywhere. On the ice, on the boys’ clothes and faces. Even on some of their teammates. The two are taken off the ice, another one filling in for them. Upon seeing this, you run down to where Charlie and his coach are, worry filling up your entire body. “Charlie!” you yell, but he doesn’t even look up. Sam comes up to you and tells you they’re thinking about taking him to the hospital. “Fuck,” you mutter. “Thanks, Sam.” You rush over to the bench where a doctor is taking care of Charlie’s wounds. “Charlie,” you whisper when you reach him. Another one of his teammates makes room for you to sit, which you do with a thankful smile towards them. “Is he gonna be okay?” you ask the doctor. “We’re gonna take him to the hospital for some check-ups, mainly to make sure he doesn’t have a concussion. But other than that, he’s fine.” You exhale slowly, then turn to Charlie again, grabbing his cold, bloody hand. “Hey, what happened?” you ask softly. He relaxes again upon hearing your melodic voice filled to the brim with worry. “Char, talk to me…” He looks up at you now. His right eye is punched shut and turning blue, his lip cut open and blood running from his nose. “He was saying things about you, Y/N. I couldn’t not do anything. He just made me so fucking angry,” he growls, tearing his eyes away from you again. You place your other hand onto the one you’re holding, trying your hardest to warm it up a little and to comfort him. He was defending you from God-knows-what awful things that number 12 was saying about you. He defended you in your absence. And looked so hot while doing it. “Alright, let’s go, Gillespie,” the coach says and hands him his shoes. You let go of his hand, so he can exchange his skates for his shoes, and look up at the coach. “What hospital are you taking him to?” you ask him. “Horizon’s,” the older man replies, and then helps Charlie up his feet since his leg has been brutally attacked by the number 12 too. “Come on,” he mutters. You get up too, and watch as Charlie limps by his coach's side. You turn and rush to Andrea again, only then realizing there were tears running down your face. She wipes them away with her thumbs, and looks into your eyes intensely. “Go! You can take my car.” She hands you her keys, kisses you on the cheek, and lets you go. You run to Andrea’s car and drive a little past the speed limit to get to the hospital as fast as possible. You know what you’re doing isn’t very safe, but you need to get to Charlie. You need to see him and make sure he’s okay. “I’m looking for Charlie Gillespie, he’s been brought in a little while ago?” you breathlessly ask the woman behind the front desk. You’re still panting from running from the car to the building. Your heart is going ten miles an hour, but it’s been doing that since the moment the fight broke out. “He’s gonna be in room 403, they’re still doing some tests, but you can wait for him there. It’s up to the fourth floor, you can take the elevator down the hall, there.” You nod at the woman, offering her the most thankful smile you can muster before making your way to the fourth floor. Your feet are getting sore from all the running, but you try your hardest to ignore it. There’s no stopping now. You have to be at Charlie’s side. Room 403 is empty, except for a wardrobe, a nightstand and a single armchair. He’s not here yet. You take a seat on the armchair for a few seconds, but then get back up and start pacing the room. Your nerves don’t allow you to sit still. You comb your fingers through your hair, muttering curses to the hospital staff to hurry their stupid tests. Something must be wrong with Charlie. There’s no other reason why they’d take so long. Not that you have a lot of experiences with hospitals except for maybe seeing a relative die in one, but never ever something like this. “Hey, Y/N, right?” a voice makes you snap out of your train of thoughts. It’s Charlie’s coach, carrying some of Charlie’s clothes in his hands. “Uhm, yeah, hi.” He offers you a smile as he walks in and places the clothes on the armchair. “They’re finished with the tests, he’s gonna be here in a few,” he informs you. “I’m gonna get something from the cafeteria, do you want anything?” You jam your nervous hands into the pockets of your jeans. “Oh, no, thank you,” you say and shoot him a stiff smile. He nods curtly before moving out of the room and leaving you alone again. This time, though, it doesn’t last too long. Within a minute, two nurses wheel him into the room on a hospital bed. You quickly move out of the way. He looks so fragile and broken on that hospital bed with all his wounds and bruises, and his eyes drooping from tiredness. “There you go, mister Gillespie,” the young man says as he puts the brakes on the bed, to make sure he doesn’t roll away again. “Ring if you need anything.” The other turns to you and says, “All tests went well. He has a slight concussion and some broken ribs, but he’ll be fine. Just make sure not to talk too loudly because that’ll give him a headache.” “Okay, thanks,” you give the two nurses a smile and let them walk out before you move to Charlie’s bedside. He looks at you from underneath his lashes, noticing how nervous you are, and reaches for your hand. “Hey,” he croaks out. “How are you feeling?” you ask. Your voice croaky from the tears you’re holding in. “I’m okay,” he answers, “Please, tell me that asshole looks worse than me.” He chuckles, then whinces at the pain his laughter causes to his ribs. “I’ve got no clue. I didn’t really look at that dude, I was too worried about you.” He smiles at you tenderly and brings your hand to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. “Charlie, I--” you start, but cut yourself off, not knowing how to say what you want to say. “Hey, come here,” he scoots over clumsily, giving you some space on the bed. You debate the option, but after looking into his pleading eyes -- or pleading eye since one is pretty much just punched shut -- you get on the bed, one leg dangling off. “What was he saying about me that made you so mad?” you ask, not at all what you wanted to, but you’re going with it for now. “He called you a fucking creep and a stalker because he somehow found out you draw the people you see?” Your heart skips a beat. He defended you for the one thing you were bullied about in high school. “I just… I know how much you hated that when it happened to you in high school, and because, you know, I’m in love with you and I don’t ever want you to feel that way again…” You smile a little at his second reason whilst butterflies well up in your stomach. “Charlie…” you start, making him turn his head at you. “Remember when I asked you for some time?” He nods his head slowly and carefully. “That was yesterday, so yes, I remember. I only have a slight concussion, babe.” You grab his hand in yours, rubbing circles on the back of his hand as you bite your lip nervously. “I don’t think I need any more time…” you carefully look up at him to see his surprised, and hopeful reaction. His eyes are sparkling again. Much like the stars you were watching last night. “So, does that mean I can finally kiss you?” he tries. One corner of his mouth curls up, and when you nod, the other follows. “Fucking finally!” he exclaims before gingerly grabbing your face with the hand you’re  not holding and bringing you closer to him to press his lips to yours in a long-awaited, passionate kiss. One that ends too quickly with a hiss from him. “That hurts doesn’t it?” you ask worriedly. “Only the normal amount,” he shrugs and kisses you again before you can say anything else. “The normal amount is no pain, babe,” you mumble against his lips. Charlie doesn’t listen though, and instead, deepens the kiss even more. He’s been waiting for this to happen for weeks. Weeks of constant flirting and taking you on stargazing dates or coffee dates or pointing at you whenever he made a goal. Weeks of pining for the most beautiful artist he’s ever met in his life. And now, he’s finally kissing you. Finally. 

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay​ @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug​  @camiladelrio98​ @myfriendscallmebeans​

[listentothelittlebird]

This is a scrapped scene from my fic How Are You? on Ao3! It’s Jason waking up in the Manor after getting rescued... basically, pure fluff :3 

Word count: 979 words

Enjoy! :D

Usually, when Jason woke up from a deep sleep, it meant that he had either been knocked out or had passed out. He tended to sleep light, so coming around from general oblivion always set him on edge - unless there were indications that he was not in any danger.

There was a hand running through his hair.

Jason registered the calming motion first, warm and steady. He registered the soft cushioning next, the soft pressure of a thick blanket above him. He shifted and pressed his cheek into the hand’s palm, humming in content. 

“Jay-lad?” a thumb running over his cheekbone. Jason recognised that voice. “You awake?” 

He was safe. 

“Shush, B,” Jason whined lazily, “Too early.” 

He burrowed his head into the pillow behind him. There was a chuckle from somewhere beside him.

“As always, not a morning person,” Bruce observed amusedly. Hypocrite. “Bizarro and Artemis recovered well,” Bruce went on, “They’re at your Outlaws base resting, but they’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been awake to answer your comms.”

Jason gave a put-upon sigh, finally cracking his eyes open to peer up at Bruce. Yup, that was an amused smile on his face. “Good morning,” he greeted. Jason grunted out something similar, but less coherent.

“What’s the damage?” Jason yawned, finally testing out the movement of his limbs. He cringed at how stiff he felt and winced at what felt like stitches at his leg and side, but he was alive, so that was great. He jerked his head too sharply and got a pulse of pain through his head for his efforts.

“Bruises, cracked ribs, a sprained wrist, two knife wounds that needed stitches, a few lacerations, and a concussion that had you semi-coherent for the last two days,” Bruce listed mildly, “Not sure how much of that you remember. Your siblings came to visit.”

“You mean gather blackmail,” Jason groaned, already dreading what footage they had taken while he was not completely lucid.

“If you’ve been nice to Barbara, I’m sure she’ll be happy to erase whatever they have,” Bruce shrugged, “Or she might have footage of her own. Both outcomes are just as likely.”

“Fuck,” Jason groaned, long and drawn out.

“Language,” Bruce commented. Jason glared at his father, which was probably incredibly ineffective given his weakened and prone form.

“Do you feel well enough to talk to them?” Bruce held up the communicator he used with the Outlaws, “There’s only so many times they’ll try before they start looking for you.”

Jason frowned - not pouted, shut up, Dick - and took the offered communicator. He held it above his face, rather precarious given it could smack into him if he dropped it. Oh well, he liked to live on the edge.

“Twenty missed calls,” Jason mumbled with a sigh, before dialing and bringing the communicator closer to his ear, but not directly against it. 

His caution was rewarded when it was Roy who answered the call, practically yelling into the device. “Jay! Jay, is that you?”

“Give a guy with a concussion a break, Roy,” Jason stated dryly, “Dammit, you guys, I don’t answer the phone for two days and you sound like you thought I died.”

“You were missing by the time I was awake,” that was Artemis, now, “I had to tend to Bizarro first and bring him to Superman, but we had no idea what had become of you.”

“Red Him hurt?” Bizarro questioned, concerned and sad.

Jason huffed, “They were beating me up for information, yeah. Didn’t give them anything. Hell, they really sucked at the interrogation aspect of their kidnapping. I’ll heal.”

“Where are you now?” Kori was there, too? Sheesh. “You mustn’t have gone far, if you’re injured. Do you need us to get you?”

“It’s fine,” Jason replied, meeting Bruce’s eye with a rare, soft smile, “I’m at home, right now. Being babied by the family, and all that jazz.”

As if on cue, yelling was heard down the hall. The only indication that they were running was the rising and falling of their voices, loud as they neared and soft as they passed. 

Bruce slipped out to check on them just as something happened - it sounded like a race - and Dick’s whooping was interrupted by loud, sharp protests from their younger brothers.

“Your family,” Roy echoed, “Huh. Is that them I hear? How many of them are there?”

“Ah, it’s like a group home around here,” Jason commented idly. Cass slipped into his room and shut the door, gliding quietly over to his side with a soft smile and wave. 

This room was not his old room - it had shelves of some of his old favourite books, sure, but there were also newer additions to the collection. 

There were other things, too. A nerf gun Tim had bought for him, just to see how accurate he could get his shots. Ticket stubs for some musicals he had been to with Cass. A succulent that Bruce had placed, when he first started using the room. A scarf knit by Alfred’s careful hand, and a much lumpier beanie which Dick had attempted, along with a store-bought beanie and a pair of ski gloves, “for next time”.

“Can I be left in peace now?” Jason droned with a lazy smile sent towards Cass, “My fam’s bothering me.”

“Alright,” Roy sighed, “Well, glad to know you’re doing fine. Come back to base when you’re feeling better.”

“Will do,” Jason agreed, “See ya.” He hung up just as his other siblings burst through the door.

“Jay!” Dick bounded over happily, “You’re awake!”

“Joy,” Jason muttered drily, “B said something about me being loopy. Where’re ya hidin’ the blackmail?”

“Not telling,” Tim grinned, “We got Babs on our side. You’re never finding it if we don’t want you to.”

Jason rolled his eyes, valiantly ignoring the small smile on his face.

[whatifxwereyou]

Ashes Chapter 12: Delusion

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Pairing: Liu Kang x Reader

...oops.

A/N: thanks for reading <3 If you want to be tagged when I update this story, let me know.

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Seated cross-legged on the bed, you meditated. You tried to contact Raiden several times. Usually, it was easy. You just had to call for him and he came. But today he ignored you. You gave up after an hour.

Fine. Be that way.

Flopping back on the bed, you stared at the ceiling.

What did he want from you? Why was he making you stay there? Why had he made Liu come with you? You weren’t needed here. As much as you were enjoying the company of Cole and Johnny and getting to know the others, you weren’t serving any purpose or function other than to torture yourself. And Liu. You were definitely torturing Liu, too.

He was torturing you too, to be fair. You weren’t the only one guilty. It was easy for you to take all your mixed-up thoughts and turn yourself into a villain. You had to remind yourself that Liu had done his fair share of damage over the last week too.

What motives was Raiden hiding from you?

Did he know that you would have visions there? He always seemed to be there when you needed him but right now, he was nowhere to be found. Did that mean you shouldn’t worry about the things you’d seen?

Maybe Raiden knew about you and Liu, and this was his screwed-up way of trying to help you figure things out. Forcing you to hash out your differences and find resolution one way or another. But then why send you to Hollywood? Why not zap you somewhere alone so you wouldn’t get anyone else involved? Something didn’t add up.

It wasn’t like you could ask him.

He didn’t want you to ask him. You came to terms with that even if you didn’t want to.

What did any of it mean? The visions? Kung Lao?

Despite your racing thoughts, you kept coming back to the gentle way that Liu Kang’s lips had found yours the night before. A forbidden thought that your brain kept crawling back to. And Cole knew about it. He knew. Apparently, you were obvious as hell.

Knocking at the door distracted you. Thank god.

You peered through the peephole and considered ignoring it.

Liu Kang.

As if he’d known what you’d been thinking.

Either that or your day hadn’t been awkward enough, so he wanted to fill that quota. Maybe he needed someone to argue with. He kept saying that you needed to talk but you felt like that was all that you had done for the past week. Talk and yell. Yet things were more confusing than they’d ever been. You didn’t think talking held any resolution anymore.

Things between you were messy and that was just how it was going to be.

He knocked again and so you unlocked and opened the door but just a crack. He smiled but it looked to you like he hadn’t been getting much sleep. His mind was probably just as busy as yours was.

“Hey.” He sounded harmless enough, but you stood guard beyond the crack in the door.

“What do you need, Liu?” Defensive. You were on alert. It was immediately awkward since you didn’t invite him in or sound happy to see him.

“I’m checking on you. If that’s okay.” He readjusted his footing but did not seem nervous which surprised you. “You were gray. You’re still a little gray.”

“I’m fine. You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t. I wanted to, Y/N.” His voice was soft and familiar, not like the harsh tone he’d had over the last week. Something had changed in Liu Kang. He’d come to terms with something or found calm. You didn’t know but it was nice to hear him sounding like himself. “Is it okay for me to come in?”

“That’s a bad idea.” You winced.

“I know. Yet… I’m asking to.” He tapped on the back of the door, and you retreated more defensively behind it. His smile was kind and serene. Charming, even. His eyes were still dark and held worlds of grief within them, but he seemed more at peace than you’d seen him in ages. “Please, Y/N.”

You couldn’t avoid him forever. Avoiding him wasn’t fixing anything just like talking wasn’t. Against your better judgment you opened the door the rest of the way. Your judgment couldn’t be trusted anymore, anyway.

Whatever.

Liu followed you into the small hotel room and closed the door quietly behind him. You folded your arms over your chest and leaned your back against the wall nearby. Just because you’d let him in didn’t mean you were going to let down your guard.

“You can relax, Y/N. I’m not here to fight with you.” Liu Kang sensed your discomfort. That didn’t help you.

“Then why are you here?”

“I meant what I said. To check on you. You’ve been out of sorts.” Liu Kang stepped in your eyeline, looking as awkward as you felt. “Should I send you back to China?” You rolled your eyes at him, eliciting a quiet laugh from him.

“First of all, Liu, you don’t have the authority to send me anywhere. Secondly? I already tried.” You pouted and slumped your shoulders. Joking helped cut the tension a little. Not much, but it was better than nothing.

“Did you?”

“Not because I’m not well but think about it… why are we here?” You gestured toward the window. Nothing about your trip to Hollywood made sense. Unless you were meant to see something here. You supposed that was better than every other reason you’d conjured. Nightwolf had made sense. Hollywood? Didn’t. It was almost like punishment.

“Well, we’re here to…”

“Oh, shush. We’re not here to convince Johnny Cage to come with us to China. He’s already decided to come with us. He’s scared but he’s coming. We barely had to do anything to convince him. He was already curious enough. I know he hasn’t said as much but I guarantee you that by tomorrow he’ll have agreed. There’s no reason for so many of us to be here and you know that as well as I do.”

“You’re right. I’ve been wondering the same thing. I trust that Raiden knows what he’s doing but it all feels… off.” He pushed his messy hair back.

“I trust him too.” You said begrudgingly. Liu laughed again and it was a satisfying and sweet sound, one that used to bring you joy. He pulled the chair from the little desk close to the bed and sat down. Silence fell again. He was watching you curiously as if waiting for you to turn gray and faint. You didn’t do that anymore. You’d grown past that. Today you were overtired. That was all. “I… have been wondering if Raiden knows about… you know. Our baggage. He doesn’t, does he?” You curled your lip in disgust. You were so painfully obvious. No wonder Kung Lao had never liked you being alone with him. Liu Kang had been a perfect gentleman until recently though.

“I don’t know.” Liu rested his hands carefully on his knees. “I never bought it up but who knows what he actually knows.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” You hated the idea that Raiden would send you somewhere to sort out your crap.

“We should talk.” He averted his eyes. There was so much weight in those words.

“About what, Liu?” You snapped but then took a deep breath to calm down. He gestured toward you as if that were enough of a starting point. “That’s not specific enough.”

“Still.”

“Fine. Let’s talk.” You were going to fight. Mostly because you were already antagonistic. You took an imposing step toward him that made him straighten his posture. You were tired of those words. You were tired of having to talk. You were tired of it hanging over your head. If he wanted to talk then, oh, you would talk. The imaginary kettle in your head was at full boil. “Where should we start, hmm?”

“I…”

You didn’t let him get far.

“How about… Let’s see. How about how Kung Lao dying broke us?”

His expression fell.

“Oh! Or how about how you lying to me years ago was unfair to us both and quite honestly, unfair to Kung Lao too. Or we could talk about how you lied because you were always second place to the Great Kung Lao. Your needs just weren’t as important, Liu. Obviously.”

“Y/N, that’s unfair.”

“Or how about me messing up the wonderful thing that I had with Kung Lao over petty worries? Or maybe… maybe the biggest thing hanging over our heads, Liu. How I got so wasted that I slept with you and have become such a professional at hiding that I’ve been drinking to get to sleep since Kung Lao died, so much so, that we had a wild night together and you thought it was something other than me being annihilated.” You weren’t sure where your bravery had come from but, boy, that had come out of you without so much as a stutter.

“Y/N, that’s…” His brow was knit in a straight line as if you had given him more to think about than he had expected. He placed his palms together and then rested the tips of his fingers against his chin as if it took all his effort not to snap. “You’re being cruel.” His voice was softer than you’d expected. It would have been easier if he’d just yelled at you. Maybe that was why you had snapped. To make it easier.

“I’m a tornado right now, Liu. A destructive force of nature.” You leaned against the wall with a heavy sigh, exhausted. “I’m sorry. That’s all I can. I’m sorry because I assumed that you had been just as drunk as I was. I just… jumped right to that conclusion like an asshole. I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.” Liu stood and picked up your hand nervously, and his touch sent shocks through you. You fought the chills.

“Stop. Y/N, please.” He furrowed his brow and all you saw was worry, which you hated. Be mad, damnit. “Stop that. Don’t beat yourself up like that.” Liu’s frown was one you’d seen far too often these past months. “I knew that you’d been drinking. I’d been drinking too. I didn’t think that you were blackout drunk. Not until I talked to you the next day.” He was trying to take half the blame, like he’d taken advantage of you or something. You were more than certain that you’d been a willing participant.

“None of that changes what happened, does it?” You tugged your wrist away from his grip and stepped away from the wall to get some space. Being close to him was dangerous and you were feeling particularly volatile. “So, tell me which one of these awful things that you want to talk about. Pick your poison. No matter which one it is, it’s going to be a fight. A fight that we both lose. There’s no winning this, Liu. I don’t know what you expect to gain from talking.”

“Y/N, look at me.” He grasped your arm again and you shoved his hand away. “I’m serious, Y/N! Look at me.” He grabbed your chin and forced you to make eye contact with him. You smacked his hand away from your face but didn’t turn your gaze. “If you don’t think that we can talk about any of those things civilly then let’s at least talk about… this.” He gestured between the two of you. “This thing that we’re holding back. That you’ve become so tense over. Do you think we can do that?”

“Why? To what end, Liu? Because what’s that conversation without all the others? Do you think that something can work out without all that other nonsense getting sucked in? Are you so caught up in the idea of what you potentially could have had that you’ve become naïve? The Liu Kang I knew wasn’t naïve.”

“So, we don’t get a shot because you…”

“A shot at what, Liu?” You yelled and his eyes went wide. “And why? Why, Liu? I’m a mess. A walking disaster. You’re a mess too. All we do is butt heads! I’m in no shape to even consider thinking about it and you… you keep saying you want to talk, that we need to talk but you don’t really know what to say, do you? That’s why we don’t. We yell or kiss or…” You gestured to him in frustration.

“Maybe this is why we don’t talk.” Ah, good, you’d finally irritated him. There was that snippy Liu that you’d been fighting with for days. It didn’t last. He shook it off and his anger melted into sadness. That was worse. “Maybe I’m afraid of what you’ll say.”

“You don’t talk because of rejection? Or a reaction? Seriously? Of all the things you could be afraid of, Liu, that? Do you have any idea what you put me through back then? The kind of rejection that I felt? The self-loathing?” You had snapped, it turned out. The angry words were just pouring out of you. “Do you have any idea what scares me, Liu? While you’re off being afraid of rejection?”

Concern was dripping from Liu, much more than when he’d first come in worried about your health. You wondered if this was what you had looked like when he’d been losing his shit over the last week. Terrified and worried.

“That I can’t fix it.” Some of your anger deflated. “I can’t fix any of it. Kung Lao’s gone. I’ve destroyed my relationship with you and now I’m having these stupid visions. I can’t… fix anything anymore. This is my life now, Liu. I can’t fix anything or do anything right. I used to fix things. I used to help people. We used to be friends.”

Silence followed. Liu turned away, seemingly thinking it over.

“You’re full of it.” He decided, turning back to you. You looked to him, confused. No, that was definitely part of it. “There’s more to it than that.”

“Okay. That’s fair. You scare me. That’s the other part of it.” You suddenly found the ugly pattern on the carpet very interesting. Liu was so level-headed; it was like you’d swapped roles. “This scares me.”

“Why?”

Really? You shook your head at him in disbelief. Did he not see all the reasons for that staring him in the face? You’d said more than enough on the matter. The stress of the day was all you could handle.

“I’m done talking, Liu. I’ve done nothing but talk. Too much probably.” You gestured to the door.

“Y/N…”

“Liu, you should go. I’m not in the right headspace for this. I’m going to say things I regret saying. I already have. Please, just… go.”

Liu approached you cautiously, like you were a wild animal and that was probably the right approach. You felt like you could jump out of your skin at any moment. He was not going to leave. You knew that already.

“You’re right.”

“Too vague. Be more specific.”

“I’m not used to you being this angry. But you’re right about a lot of things. When I met Kung Lao, I had nothing. I was just an orphan. Raiden gave me family in Kung Lao. I revered him. So much so that when he asked me for something that was precious to me… I gave it to him.” His voice was soft and cautious, but serious. It sent a chill right through you. “I regret that, Y/N, but I also don’t regret it. Kung Lao loved you and you loved him. But I shouldn’t have done what I did the way that I did. Not because of what it implies for my value of self but because you were not a thing to be given away. Not by me. I should have given you the choice. I should have been honest. You deserved the opportunity to choose, and I stole that from you. I understand that you can’t possibly know what you would have done given that chance. It was unfair of me to ask. We aren’t those people anymore.”

You took a cautious step away from him as he drew closer but there wasn’t anywhere to go. The hotel room was small and cramped as it was. You’d bumped your knees on furniture ten times that day alone.

“But if you are going to say that you’re a disaster then I must be one too.”

“I said tornado.” Sarcasm, your very last defense.

“I want to take responsibility for my choices, Y/N. From back then and now. I made the choice to take you to bed that night. I made the first move. Not you. I knew that you were drunk. I didn’t know how drunk, but I instigated it. And I don’t regret it. I regret that you don’t remember but I remember. And I don’t regret it.” His voice was low, intimate, and you stiffened up uncomfortably. You hated that just his voice could make you shiver. All you remembered was how it had felt to wake up next to him, terrified. “Then I woke up alone. I made the choice to react with anger. I regret that but I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“Liu, you don’t have to explain.” Your voice was barely a whisper. That was all you could muster and even that gave you shivers again.

“Let me finish, Y/N.” He was close enough that you could feel his breath, the air palpable with tension. Your hands tingled with anxiety.

“I made the choice to push you the next few days. I made the choice to hurt you because you hurt me. You’re not the only one at fault. It took both of us to make this mess. If you’re going to call yourself out then you’ve got to call me out, too.”

“I can do that.” Your voice was fragile, but you were surprised you could find words at all. Liu leaned closer to hear you properly. “You were a douche.” He laughed, hand rested against the wall next to your head now. You could feel the warmth of his arm radiating from him. “But I did, in fact, climb into your bed when it was convenient for me. Your words, remember?”

“Yeah, rough words.” He inhaled sharply.

Silence. You were afraid to talk. You were too close, and his lips were so easily reached.

“You should go.” You finally managed. He tilted his head curiously and you saw that playful smile that killed you on his lips.

“Make me.”

“Liu, you shouldn’t push me right now.”

“Sometimes we need to be pushed.”

“We talked. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? It went terribly. I feel worse about this than I did before we talked. I don’t understand what you want.” You were feeling particularly brave but that melted with one serious look into his eyes. Those were eyes you recognized. Eyes from yesterday. Eyes from years ago. You would bicker back then over something silly. Sometimes you swore just to build the tension. He would grab you, hands still delicate but forceful. He’d kiss you, you’d kiss him back and then before you knew it, you were naked. “Don’t look at me like that.”

He grasped your hand and you tried to pull it back but there was nowhere for you to pull back to. Panic. This was far too familiar. The memories you had together weren’t fond memories. He’d hurt you and those memories had become painful. They were trauma now. But you couldn’t ignore the tension that built up either. It was difficult to breathe, difficult to think. Liu pulled you away from the wall with surprising tenderness, one hand clasped on your shoulder.

“Don’t close yourself off, Y/N.” He pulled you closer. One move and his lips would meet yours, kissing or not. You didn’t fight him. You couldn’t fight him. You were mercilessly lost in a haze, lost in his overwhelming and comforting touch. His hand slid from your fingers and around your wrist, every touch of his fingertips leaving a blazing trail in their wake.

He kissed you, barely having to move for his lips to find yours. The curves his lips met yours in such a perfect way, it was like two puzzle pieces that were meant to be. Everything was still and silent. He urged your hand to his chest and you could feel his heart beneath it beating in time with yours. Your ears were ringing.

Without a thought, you returned the kiss, at a mercy to your baser instincts. Bowing to the part of you that missed being held, missed being kissed, and the part of you that was so attracted to Liu Kang that you struggled to be in the same room for long periods of time.

The floodgates were broken.

His arm slipped around you, and you briefly tried to escape but your movements only moved you from the wall and made your body press against his. His arms were strong, holding you tightly, afraid of losing you. The tension had made your room so hot that you were sweating. Hand flat on your back, he pulled your body close, your chest pressed against his, back arched so that your stomachs touched. The heat of him against you was killing you. It was difficult to breathe.

With a deep groan that made your stomach tighten up, Liu led you to the side. You stumbled but grasped at his shirt, widening your mouth into the kiss. You bumped into the nightstand so hard that the alarm clock fell to the floor.

Biting his lip, you cursed at the sudden sharp pain in the back of your leg. “Son of a…” You muttered. Liu sucked on his lower lip. You could taste his blood on your lips, metallic but oddly exciting. You were hot all over. Liu brushed his hand over the back of your leg and checked to make sure you were okay.

“You…”

He was going to ask you if you were, but instead he caught your gaze and then his eyes trailed over your face, as if taking you in, and lingered on your lips. The throbbing in your leg was forgotten as he kissed you again, thumb on your chin, lips slowly taking yours in, as if worshipping the feel of them against his. Your heart was in your throat, pounding away. You didn’t feel worthy of this tenderness his lips had for you. The way that your lips met and moved as if they knew what the other would do next.

But tenderness was a rare and brief thing turned hot and violent.

Liu shoved you against the wall next to the nightstand and, hands at your thighs, lifted you against it. He urged your legs around his middle, hands grasping at your jeans. You tangled your fingers in his hair, something you had always done in the throes of passion. The familiarity of the action, of his body, was overwhelming.

“Liu,” you muttered against his lips to try and get him to stop but instead it sounded like a cry of passion. Deep down you knew you had to stop. This was not the solution. It would only make things harder. There would be anger, frustration, hurt. This would be your next big disaster. You wouldn’t have any excuses. At least before you had the liquor to hide behind. He was right. You were a mess. Both of you.

Your self-control had gone completely out the window.

He grasped the back of your neck and pulled barely from your lips. His breath was shuddering, you could feel the warmth of it, the rise and fall of his chest pressed against yours. It was stifling. He was giving you a chance to stop him. He wasn’t in control either. You were victim to each other.

His eyes were dark and brimming with conflict. “Y/N.” You both knew this wasn’t the right thing to do. You wanted to say something. Anything. But his lips were so tantalizingly close. His eyes took you in like you were something rare and forbidden. You were failing. Finally, you found words but as you made to speak your lips brushed just against his, upper lip snagging on the small wound your teeth had made only moments ago. It made you weak.

You kissed him. A slow, dangerous, and passionate thing. You were nearly choking on how good it felt to be kissed, to be held. Betraying you, your hands were at his shirt, brushing over the lining of it, to where it folded together. He was covered in soot from earlier. He smelled of sulfur, his lips even tasted like fire. The red sash tied around his middle draped between your legs and you tugged on it. While it happened very quickly, it also felt like it was happening in slow motion. You untied the knot of the sash and dropped it to the floor.

Hand slipping from your cheek, he let your weight rest against the wall while he pulled his shirt off and tossed it behind him, lips only leaving yours for brief seconds. He pressed against you harder, kissing you deeper, feverishly. You invited his tongue, delighting in the feeling of it as he took that invitation. Your lips were swollen from kissing, it was almost painful. Almost.

Gasping for breath, he urged his lips against your neck, greedily kissing your skin and urging you to tilt your head back to offer him more flesh to kiss. He left playful nibbles on your collarbone and a soft coo of delight escaped your lips. Your fingers pressed into his skin, over his bare shoulders, down the little bit of his chest you could reach with him pressed so hard against you. Instead, your fingers ran down his back and as he suckled the skin of your neck, you grasped him tighter to you.

His breath was hot against your chest as he kissed down to the lining of your top, leaving a wet trail of desire in your cleavage.

“Liu…” You had a brief moment of clarity with his lips so close to your breasts. You had spoken so sharply that he had pulled back in alarm. He searched your eyes and rested his hand against your cheek. Instead of speaking, he kissed you again, leaning you against the wall, pressing his chest back to yours, hips pinning yours in place. You grasped at his back tighter, feeling the marks that you’d left on his skin during your night together just below your fingertips. It was where you had instinctually grabbed and exactly what you had to have done in the throes of pleasure. Oh, the things he must have done to you to make you claw him deep enough to mark him up like that.

Resting one hand against the wall, he focused on your lips, his other hand brushing over your thigh and grasping it tightly to reposition you against him. A soft moan came from deep within you and you grasped him tighter. He arched his back into your touch and as he pulled away from the wall, you tightened your legs around him. His hand grasped your backside and he guided you blindly toward the bed.

Much to your surprise, he pulled your legs away and dropped you on the mattress. Pushing back your hair, he urged you to lean back on your elbows and crawled over you. That image of him climbing over you had been enough to make you squirm. Hovering over you, he took your breath away. His lips were on yours again, and he pushed his weight on top of you. You were sunken into the too soft mattress, his hands greedily moving down your sides to find the bottom of your shirt. His fingers left hot blazing trails of fire against your stomach.

This had to stop.

You panicked and broke the kiss, but you could barely breathe with the thick air around him. “Liu!” You were reaching a point of no return. If you let it go on any longer then there was no stopping it and while you wanted it, you knew it was the wrong thing to do. This had not been talking. This was not solving anything. Worse than that, you wanted it so badly. You wanted it desperately. You wanted him to fuck you until you couldn’t think anymore. Sex with Liu would be a wonderful, blissful, but temporary fix.

His lips moved down your neck as you escaped, and you placed your hand over his mouth to stop him. His hands were on the sides of your bra, pulling your shirt up. “Liu, stop.” He did just as you asked him to, lips lingering against the side of your neck, breath making you shiver. He caught your eyes and then closed his tight. You were sure that look had said more than enough.

Liu pulled his hands from beneath your shirt and sat up. He looked down at you, chest rising and falling rapidly, taking you in, eyes devouring you greedily. Then he climbed off the bed and ran his hands through his hair. Frustration radiated from him.

Your shirt was pushed up over your breasts, and you fixed it with one hand before closing your eyes and rubbing your temples. You had been completely sober and were now half naked. This had not been progress no matter how good it had felt.

“This won’t fix anything.” You sat up, trying to catch your breath but it was shaky and difficult. Your eyes were set on the marks on his back. Marks that you would love to leave again.

“And avoiding it will?” Liu scoffed. “Don’t pretend it’s only me.” He stepped closer again. It was not just him. You wouldn’t pretend that it was either.

“I’m not, Liu. But… I…” It was complicated and the guilt now that your head was clearing was immense. “Kung Lao…”

“Kung Lao is dead, Y/N.” He said that with such finality that you lost your breath. “I don’t want it to be true, but it is.”

You turned away and found your bag on the floor near the dresser. The jade ring was tangled into it and all at once you were overwrought with grief. It hurt. Tears blurred your vision and you forced them back. Liu sat next to you and slipped his arms around you. You fought to get out of them, but he held you tighter.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He didn’t push you further, he just held you. You buried your face against his shoulder. The mood had shifted. Still tense but also miserable. He held you against him comfortingly and his breathing relaxed back to normal. You were trying not to break down, not to cry, not to sob against him. You had too much makeup on from earlier to sob, damnit. “It’s okay.” He repeated soothingly.

“No, it’s not.” You wiped your eyes, picking your head up from his shoulder. “Nothing is okay, Liu.”

“I know that. But it will be.” He reassured you. You trembled and he held you tighter. “You’re shaking, Y/N.”

“I’m okay. Just…” You struggled to get the words out and took deep breaths to calm down. That had been overstimulation at its finest.

“You’re gray.” That worry was back.

“I didn’t sleep last night. Or the night before. Or the night before that. I just need to sleep.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“I want to go home, Liu.”

“We can’t.” He tucked your hair behind your ear, then he smiled knowingly. “We still have to talk.” You laughed in disbelief, practically choking on your spit. “Don’t laugh. You dismissed so much of what we’re dealing with, Y/N. None of it is so simple as a few angry words.”

“Can we just pretend? Just for today?” You managed to take a deep breath and that helped immensely. “Pretend we don’t have to talk. That we aren’t… such a mess? I’m…”

“I get it.” Liu looked down to where his shirt was on the floor. “Does that mean I have to leave?”

“How could you possibly want to stay?”

“I told you that I missed you. I meant that.”

“Okay. You can stay… but we have to promise to keep our clothes on.”

“Tough bargain, but I think we can manage.” He joked and it was a wonderful thing to hear. He let go of you to pick up his shirt and get dressed. Thank god. He was too perfect to look at, too easy to admire, and admiration didn’t seem to be where you stopped anymore. You busied yourself by fixing the nightstand. You’d knocked over the lamp and the alarm clock was still on the floor. Then you straightened your shirt a second time and tried to fix your hair to keep it from looking like you’d been doing exactly what you’d been doing.

You sat on the bed and turned on the television, searching for something to put on to distract your racing thoughts.

Nothing had been resolved.

You were okay with that for now.

Maybe there wasn’t really any resolution. No magical cure to any of it. Maybe there was just fighting until you came to terms with your truth. Liu sat next to you, and you watched television in comfortable silence. He picked up your hand and checked your pulse from time to time and you rolled your eyes at him each time. Some things never changed. Liu Kang had always worried about you.

Through the afternoon you talked about nothing and everything except for the things you knew you needed to talk about. You reminisced, you joked, you shared stories. It was nice even if what you had almost done still hung in the air.

Eventually, you drifted to sleep next to him, exhausted.

Next Chapter >>

[manchot1988]

2093 Drabbles - Aftermath - Part 3 (Kreider/Zibanejad Fic)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39651339/chapters/99541881

Chapter 3 under the cut

They haven’t really talked about what happens next for them. They really should but there’s a part of Mika that doesn’t want to bring it up in case it means they have to spend their break apart. While they’re both in a stable place mentally and emotionally now that it’s been a few days, the end of their season still stings and well, Mika doesn’t want to be apart from Chris just yet. It’s not that either of them are gonna fall apart if they separate; it’s just that the last few days where it’s been the two of them have been amazing and peaceful, as if the world can’t touch either of them and they can just be with each other.

It seems like a lot to ask Chris to drop everything and go to Sweden with him for the summer and Mika can’t just stay in Boston all summer either. They both have families they need to see and spend time with, not to mention setting up training so they keep in shape or get in better shape for the next season. Would Chris even want to spend the summer with Mika or has the past few days of the two of them living together been enough for Chris to want to leave and have some space to himself?

Or, maybe a compromise - they could spend a few weeks together somewhere, go to Sweden and Boston each for a bit then meet up a few weeks before training camp? He would have to suggest something that would interest Chris. Pulling up google, Mika searches for things to do or places to visit in the US. Chris was still wrapping up his final phone interviews in the living room so Mika had time to research. He had taken his interviews in his music room/office but had finished earlier so he had some time to kill.

Scrolling through the links, Mika finds one that looks promising and before he can chicken out, he texts the link to Chris’s phone. He can still hear Chris talking so it might be a while before Chris see’s it. Mika keeps scrolling through just in case that first suggestion didn’t spark joy. They’re on the road a lot during the season so Chris might not want to do a road trip. They could go to a resort somewhere and just be lazy under the sun? Europe maybe, play tourist for a few weeks?

After a few minutes, Chris comes to the music room and is leaning on the doorway asking, “Why did you send me a link to The 20 Most Beautiful Libraries in the U.S?”. Mika turns from the computer screen to look at Chris, smiles at him and takes a moment just to stare. Chris looks good, rested and without weight on his shoulders. God, he looks so handsome. “Mika?”, asks Chris after a beat.

Realizing that he’s just been staring, Mika clears his throat as he replies, “Throwing out ideas of what we can do this summer. Switch things up a bit. Figured we can do something together first before going back home to see our families. What do you think?”

“Of what? Doing something together or seeing the 20 beautiful libraries in the US?”, replies Chris. There’s a teasing tone in his voice that puts Mika at ease - it seems like he wasn’t the only one who wanted to spend more time together, thank God. Mika shouldn’t have worried about it hindsight. Chris continues, “I mean, do you really want to go on a road trip to see 20 libraries in the short off time that we have?”

“You’ll enjoy it”, shrugs Mika. Without thinking, Mika also says, “I just want to spend time with you.” Shit, why did he say that? At the doorway, Chris’s posture softens and the smile on his face becomes more pronounced. Mika’s face heats up but he refuses to turn away. “We can do other things if you want…”, he mumbles shyly.

Chris is still smiling as he walks into the room to lean against the desk. More like swaggers into the room if Mika is being completely honest. “Well… what if what I want is to go to Sweden with you?, asks Chris. Mika’s brain halts - he’s not sure he’s heard that correctly but at the same time, he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. It feels big and real, like scoring the game winning goal in OT big.

Chris continues, hesitantly and as if he rehearsed it, “It’s been a while since I’ve been to Sweden and I miss your family. Haven’t seen them since quarantine time. Facetime isn’t the same, Nikki’s grown so much bigger and Knox is running around now. I’ll have to come back early to see my family but we can worry about that later. We’ve seen them recently when they came up to watch the playoff games so I don’t think they’ll mind too much. You’ve got trainers lined up there too so we’ll be able to train together too and …”

Mika uses his foot to nudge Chris, interrupting him. “Chris, you had me at Sweden”, says Mika while looking into Chris’s eyes. Feeling brave, Mika reaches out to hold Chris’s hand as he continues, “I want you to. Of course you can come with me. The only reason I didn’t bring it up was because I didn’t think it was fair to ask that of you when I couldn’t do the same for you in Boston.”

Chris takes a deep breath, shoulders loosening as tension drops away from them. Using the hand Mika was holding, he shyly pulls Mika up towards him and into a hug. “Thank you”, Chris says softly into Mika’s shoulder where Chris is resting his head. “You’ll have to show me all the best spots for Fika.” “I’ll show you that and more. Whatever you want.”, replies Mika.

[icharchivist]

A3 x Sleeping at Last

I have a fondness for the musician Sleeping at Last and i decided to have fun associating at least one of his song per A3 Characters. Under the cut are songs as well as some highlight lyrics to justify my choice. Some of them i feel more strongly than others so anyone with a comment is welcomed as well.

Thus here i go:

& Spotify playlist of all those songs in order if you want to go through it

Mankai Company : North

We will call this place our home, The dirt in which our roots may grow. Though the storms will push and pull, We will call this place our home. We’ll tell our stories on these walls. Every year, measure how tall. And just like a work of art, We’ll tell our stories on these walls. Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind. Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide. Settle our bones like wood over time, over time. Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine.

Spring Troupe: From The Ground Up

It took me 27 years to wrap my head around this- To brush the ashes off of everything i love. Where courage was contagious, confidence was key. Right as rain, soft as snow, It grows and grows and grows, Our home sweet home.

We'll try to document this light, With cameras to our eyes, In an effort to remember What being mended feels like.

We're home sweet home.

Sakuya Sakuma : The Projectionist

When I was young I fell in love with story, With the eleventh hour, with the blaze of glory.

When hands are tied and clocks are ticking An audience convinced, we're leaning in, holding our breath again Just when we thought the game was over The music lifts and our dying soldier lives And we breathe a sigh of relief The theater lights dim and all goes quiet. In the darkest of rooms, light shines the brightest.

We’re leaving, we’re leaving our shadows behind us now. We’re leaving, we’re leaving it all behind for now. But even dust was made to settle And if we’re made of dust, then what makes us any different? I guess we give what we’ve been given: A family tree so very good at giving up When we’ve had enough. Though truth is heavier than fiction, Gravity lifts as the projectionist rolls tape. And it makes us brave again

Masumi Usui : Venus

At first I thought you were a constellation. I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation: You’re as beautiful as endless, You’re the universe I’m helpless in. An astronomer at my best When I throw away the measurements.

I was a billion little pieces 'til you pulled me into focus. Astronomy in reverse, It was me who was discovered.

Tsuzuru Minagi : Page 28

Have you read the script? Could you picture it? ... is it worth the risk?

Here in the second act I'm living in repair. Strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear. And there, on page 28, I'm so tired of drying glue, I begin my grand attempt at building something new. Though I tend to write the epiphany more immediately, I guess I'm trusting that there's such a thing as elegance in dissonance. God, I'm skeptical of pulling scenes. Was it something that I said? was it something that I did? Please don't get me wrong - I still need your help As history repeats itself Here in the aftermath, I'm pulling at the seams. Strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine. And there, on page 29, I find “new” and make it mine. But I can't help casting shadows on all I leave behind. Maybe I could afford to change a bit... Even let go of the reigns? Every torn out page was worth the risk Now that the stakes have been raised. So here in the final draft, I've given all I have. Strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan. There's nothing left on the page, but I'm okay with that, For I found my resolution Was designed for stronger hands.

 or Body

There's magic in our bones, A north star in our soul That remembers our way home. There's magic in our bones. No, I don't have a script for this. But I know the right words exist Somewhere, And I just need more time. I know, I know, I'm asking for the moon, But I must listen to intuition Believe me, I only want what's right.

Itaru Chigasaki : Pluto

I woke up from the same dream: Falling backwards, falling backwards ’Til it turned me inside out. Now I live a waking life Of looking backwards, looking backwards; A model citizen of doubt. Until one day I had enough Of this exercise of trust. I leaned in and let it hurt, And let my body feel the dirt. When I break pattern, I break ground. I rebuild when I break down. I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before. Still I’m pinned under the weight Of what I believed would keep me safe. So show me where my armor ends, Show me where my skin begins. Like a final puzzle piece It all makes perfect sense to me… The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity. The heaviness that I hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

Or  East

I set out to rule the world With only a paper shield and a wooden sword. No mountain dare stand in my way, Even the oceans tremble in my wake. The tide is brave, but always retreats. Even the sand, it cowers under my feet. My kingdom towers above it all, While I sleep safe and sound in my cardboard walls. Now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was. I bear little resemblance to the king I could become. Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids- Lord, I want to remember how to feel like I did. So I draw my sword with the morning sun, I summon the moon as soon as the day is done. The clouds march on, on my command. Even the rain, it falls according to plan. The trees bow down and give their leaves. I humbly accept their offerings of peace. The years wore on and changed my heart, The leading role for a smaller part.

Citron : Noble Aim

Chances are we are the same, against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light but we wait, Like evening for night, Don't we? Chances are we are alike, against what better judgement writes We ache, like children for love For a purpose worthy of such a noble aim as love.

Chances are we bruise the same; a family tree desperate for rain. A thirst only deserts know best. a hurt so at home in our chests. Call it stubbornness or bravery, To let our branches continue to reach, With such a noble aim, With such a noble aim as love. Every broken branch and loosened leaf that we've grown to ignore, Is now a part of something greater than before. Every nest that rests upon our limbs, Seeking shelter from the storms, Is a purpose worth being broken for.

Chances are we are the same, against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light, We reach with all of our might For such a noble aim as love

Chikage Utsuki : Neptune

Pitch black, pale blue, It was a stained glass Variation of the truth, And I felt empty handed. You let me set sail with cheap wood. So I patched up every leak that I could, 'Til the blame grew too heavy.

Stitch by stitch I tear apart,  If brokenness is a form of art, I must be a poster child prodigy Thread by thread I come apart If brokenness is a work of art, Surely this must be my masterpiece

I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks, when I open my mouth I wanna tell you but I don't know how

I'm only honest when it rains An open book, with a torn out page, and my inks run out I want to love you but i don’t know how...

           Or South

Some truths, over time, can learn to play nice. Some truths are sharper than knives. Some truths we only see in the corners of our eyes. Some truths we wish we could hide. Some truths can save us, Some take our lives. Some truths are fire and some truths are ice. No matter what category you fit into, Truth’s got its sight set on you. If truth is north, then I am true south. I can’t figure it out- God knows. Always looking up 'Til my eyes give up. That’s how I lost touch of who I am and who I was.

Summer Troupe : Joy

The clumsy start of adolescence, The glue that mends our broken remnants, An overwhelming sense of reverence, It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. A silver lining spilling over, The rumor of buried treasure, The starting line of an adventure, It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. It's an afterglow, it's an echo Still ringing out in spite of me. It's the faint outline of the divine In the hiding place of my periphery. So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe. I can breathe. The countless stars we're sleeping under, It's the brightest sparks that we remember. When our eyes are closed, we still see embers, A glimpse of light in a mine of gold. It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold.

Tenma Sumeragi : Three

Maybe I've done enough, and your golden child grew up Maybe this trophy isn't real love, And with or without it I'm good enough Maybe I've done enough, Finally catching up For the first time I see an image of my brokeness Utterly worthy of love

And I finally see myself, Through the eyes of no one else. It's so exhausting on this silver screen Where I play the role of anyone but me. I finally see myself, Unabridged and overwhelmed, A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell, But I'm slowly learning how to break this spell. And I finally see myself. Now I only want what's real, to let my heart feel what it feels. Gold, silver or bronze hold no value here, Where work and rest are equally revered. I only want what's real, I set aside the highlight reel, And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk; Worthy of love anyway.

Yuki Rurikawa : Hope

There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other Like the light of countless stars We are not afraid of the dark 'Cause there is hope in our hearts And every single beat, we feel it To the ends of the earth, our echo carries on We are sacred, we are strong, We are beautiful, we belong Please hear our unheard song There is hope in our voice when we listen to each other Barriers disappeared with every story told We are sacred, we are strong, We are beautiful, we belong Please hear our unheard song There is hope in our eyes, When we truly see each other We raise our flag, lift our voice This is our moment, We are sacred, we are strong This is our moment, We are beautiful, we belong This is our moment, We are worthy, we are true This is our moment, There are no borders from this view Please help us raise our flag There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other

Muku Sakisaka :  Daughter

I want to see your happily ever after, That you know in your heart that you matter, That you are royalty. This is your kingdom, This is your crown, This is your story. This is your moment, Don’t look down.

You’re ready. born ready, And all you gotta do is put one foot in front of you. Our ceiling is your floor, And all you gotta do is put one foot in front of you. If only you knew

Misumi Ikaruga : Seven

How nice it'd be if we could try everything? I'm serious, let's make a list and just begin What about danger? So what, what about risk? Let's climb the mountain before we cross that bridge! 'Cause I'm restless, For whatever comes next

How wonderful to see a smile on your face It costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade A secret handshake between me and my one life: I'll find the silver lining no matter what the price 'Cause I'm hungry, For whatever comes next Let me tell you another secret of the trade- It feels like sinking when I'm standing in one place So I look to the future and I book another flight When everything feels heavy, I've learned to travel light But I want to be here, Truly be here To watch the ones that I love bloom And I want to make room To love them through and through and through And through the slow and barren seasons too

I feel hope deep in my bones... And tomorrow will be beautiful.

Kazunari Miyoshi : Nine

Who am I to say what any of this means? I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps Honestly, it's easier to let myself forget

Still, I check my vital signs, Choked up, I realize I've been less than half myself for more than half my life

It looks like empathy to understand all sides But I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes So show me what to do to restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?

A little at a time I feel more alive I let the scale tip and feel all of it It's uncomfortable but right We were born to try, to see each other through To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do

Kumon Hyodo : Intermission

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. My mind is full but I can't speak. Among the dust of the hard-to-reach, I'm stuck Right here, somewhere between side a and side b. I could call it compromise, or just an intermission. Some kind of consolation prize for the race I never finished. I want to turn these tired gears. I want to feel the follow-through, Some kind of equilibrium... Something to set my watch to.

I'm here, somewhere between victory and a white flag. Caught in this purgatory dream, I'm stuck.   But I want to set the record straight, I want to retrace my every step. If I could just rewind all the tapes, Then maybe I'd find my loose thread.   Call it a compromise, or just an intermission. Some kind of consolation prize, so close, but never finished.   I want to turn these tired gears. I want to feel the follow-through, Some kind of equilibrium... Something to set my watch to.

 Pluto works for him too

 Autumn Troupe : The Sea of Atlas

We once felt safe, like no cure was needed. Our vocabularies had no room for “defeated,” But we grew up quick and became connoisseurs of it. There's a fine line, a fine line in between Our progress and our instability. We can't help ourselves but hunt for more. A design flaw? or the olive branch that proves the shore- The catalyst we've waited for.

Banri Settsu : One

Hold on for a minute, 'Cause I believe that we can fix this over time That every imperfection is a lie, Or at least an interruption Now hold on, let me finish,  No, I'm not saying perfect exists in this life But we'll only know for certain if we try

The list goes on forever of all the ways I could be better in my mind As if I could earn God's favor given time Or at least congratulations Now I have learned my lesson The price of this so-called perfection is everything I spend my whole life searching desperately To find out grace requires nothing of me I... I wanna sing a song worth singing I'll write an anthem worth repeating I... I wanna feel the transformation A melody of reformation I hold it all more loosely, and yet somehow much more dearly 'Cause I spend my whole life searching desperately To find out that grace requires nothing Grace requires nothing of me

Juza Hyodo : Taste

I am alive, I am awake. I am aware of what light tastes like. The curtains drawn, the table's set, I wanna be, I wanna be, at my best.

I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface.

Out of the woods, out of the dark. I’m well aware of the shadows in my heart. I wanna feel, tectonic shifts; I wanna be, I wanna be, astonished. I wanna be astonished. So I propose a toast: To fists unraveling, to glass unshattering. To breaking all the rules, to breaking bread again. We’re swallowing light, we’re swallowing our pride. We’re raising our glass, ’til we’re fixed from the inside. 'Til we're fixed from the inside. We're nothing less than a work in progress. Sacred text on Post-It notes. We only speak of a world in pieces. Let's make a map of what matters most: Where every fracture is a running river. Leading us back to our golden coast.

OR Mercury

No one can unring this bell Unsound this alarm, unbreak my heart new God knows, I am dissonance Waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune

I know the further I go The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed And somehow I’ve fallen in love With this middle ground at the cost of my soul Yet I know, if I stepped aside Released the controls, you would open my eyes That somehow, all of this mess Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life

Made of precious metals, precious metal inside

Taichi Nanao:  Sadness

It feels like falling, It feels like rain,  Like losing my balance, Again and again It once was so easy, Breathe in, breathe out But at the foot of this mountain I only see clouds

I feel out of focus, or at least indisposed As this strange weather pattern inside me takes hold Each brave step forward I take three steps behind It's mind over matter, Matter over mind

Slowly, then all at once, A single loose thread And it all comes undone

Where there is light a shadow appears The cause and effect when life interferes The same rule applies to goodness and grief For in our great sorrow We learn what joy means

I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight it But I will learn to fight, I will learn to fight 'Til this pendulum finds equilibrium

Slowly, then all at once, The dark clouds depart And the damage is done, So pardon the dust While this all settles in, With a broken heart Transformation begins

or Bright and Early

The sun comes pouring in. Filling glasses up with diamonds, Stirring where I've been But it's all trigger and effect. Dominoes at their best. In the end I'm told, It taught me everything I know. That the wreckage left behind, will somehow make me grow.

In the end I'm told It taught me everything I know. But when the fire took our home, I lost part of my soul. From the ground up I'll keep building houses into homes. 'cause if trust is ribbon, Then patience ties it in a perfect bow.

Omi Fushimi : Aperture

Happiness is somewhere I have been before- A blurry photograph that I have since ignored. I'll carefully adjust the aperture once more, Until I set the record straight. I'll brush aside the dim, make room for the bright. I'll be an editor, no, a curator of light. I'll let my better angels always set me right, Until I even out the score. Until I even out the score. God, it has been quite a year- I've lived a little bit and I've died a little more. I know that I've asked it before, But please let the scale tip here in my favor. What was once the sweetest melody I've heard Is now a memory reduced to little words. I'll tune the orchestra and play the overture, Until I pinpoint every note. Give me the heart of an archeologist, That I may dig until I prove that I exist. A subterranean cathedral in my midst, Where echos come to rest.

Sakyo Furuichi : Touch

When will I feel this as vivid as it truly is, Fall in love in a single touch, and fall apart when it hurts too much? Can we skip past near-death clichés Where my heart restarts, as my life replays? All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed.

Invisible machinery, These moving parts inside of me Well, they’ve been shutting down for quite some time, Leaving only rust behind. Well I know, I know - the sirens sound Just before the walls come down. Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can, But God I want to feel again, Oh God I want to feel again.

Rain or shine, I don’t feel a thing, just some information upon my skin. I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed, The barometric pressure we always blamed. All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed. Down my arms, a thousand satellites Suddenly discover signs of life.

Azami Izumida : Anger

Like wildfire, it starts in my chest The silence grows louder, ringing out in my head

I feel the Earth shaking under my feet I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe And it takes everything

And it all spills out, reckless but honest words leave my mouth Like kerosene on a flame of doubt, I couldn't make it right

Alarms will sound, but it's too late for holy water now Sooner or later the fire dies down, I'll open up my eyes

And I'll try and find the image of God In mountains made of ash and clouds of smoke It's fight or flight, buried in my mind, It's fight or flight It keeps my mind cold

But I feel it break, With just one misstep down a fire escape And suddenly I'm someone that prays, a last minute man of faith But I'll leave behind miles and miles of jagged lines Upon the surface of the Divine, I wish I could set them straight

Say

they impose the endless fight to always be perfect it seems they have been chosen to be above the rest

but the contradiction stands between these perfect lives and the words that they've misread there was no reading say all the things that you really want to say the truest of forms will show finally you'll find your soul

Bonus: Sakyo & Azami: Uneven Odds

I once knew your father well He fought tears as he spoke of your mother’s health I guess a part of him just couldn’t return Forgiveness is a lesson he cursed you to learn As your guardian I was instructed well To make sense of God’s love in these fires of hell No I don’t expect you to understand Just to live what little life your broken heart can Maybe your light is a seed And the darkness the dirt In spite of the uneven odds Beauty lifts from the earth As the years move on these questions take shape Are you getting stronger or is time shifting weight? No one expects you to understand Just to live what little life your mended heart can You’ll always remember the moment God took her away For the weight of the world was placed on your shoulders that day You’re much too young now so I write these words down, “Darkness exists to make light truly count.”

& Heirloom

You try your hardest to leave the past alone. This crooked posture is all you’ve ever known. It is the consequence of living in between The weight of family and the pull of gravity. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become. Long before you were born there was light Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes. A million choices, though little on their own, Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become,

You pressed rewind for the thousandth time When the tapes wore through. So you memorized those unscripted lines, Desperate for some kind of clue:

When the scale tipped, when you inherited,  A fight that you were born to lose. It’s not your fault, No, it’s not your fault, I put this heavy heart in you.

You remind me of who I could have been, Had I been stronger and braver way back then. A million choices, though little on their own, Became the heirloom of the heaviness we’ve known. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than the wars you’ve won. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become.

Winter Troupe : Homesick

Our resignation only comes on beaten paths When the world was flat we dreamt of its edges If love's elastic, then were we born to test it's reach? Is it buried treasure or just a single puzzle piece? It's poison ivy beneath our brave and trusting feet All revelations come to us in recovery Cry wolf, cry mercy, Cry the name of the one you were raised to believe Cry heart, cry yourself to sleep, Cry a storm of tears if it helps you breathe It helps you, if it helps you breathe

 Or Hourglass

We're taking turns at shattering apart. At least we're taking turns. How did we get so good at dismantling these hearts? How did we ever get so good? We dress our best to receive their sympathy. At our worst, we dress our best? “time heals all” According to these greeting cards. Oh how we'd rather time resets. If we could turn the hourglass, we would. If we could move a grain of sand, we would. If we could find our way back, we would.

Tsumugi Tsukioka : Clockwork

There is glass between our touch, phantom limbs of former love... and the truth is that I am so terrified that the callous is deeper than the surface of our skin. and it takes us twice as long, it takes us twice as long to heal. we'll lift up the ground to see the system of roots beneath. gears turn, endlessly, to bring the world back to life like clockwork, when it dies. the cadence of beating hearts, the click of its moving parts grows louder and louder from this restless earth... future gardens wait patiently below  and somehow we smell them blossom through the snow.

still unsatisfied, we chase what we're denied. as generations wait, we can't resist the taste of possibility. gears turn, endlessly, to bring us back to life again. like clockwork, we begin.

Tasuku Takato : Porcelain

The door broke when you slammed it shut, and the cracks kept reaching long after you left. through the floorboards, branching towards the hall, like vines that never rest... climbing like fire through the walls. a single spark that claims the whole forest - I know, I know... it's all for the best. but honestly, I would rather be safe from a distance than here... when I fell to my knees to sew the damage shut, I couldn't believe... a bright, staggering light came flooding into me from out of the seams. so I reached deeper in and pulled my whole world wide open, and for each broken mile, a billion miracles happen at once in everything... in everything. but I'm safe from a distance, right here. everything I love was made of porcelain, ready to break. but the bright, staggering light, it anxiously waits inside. like nesting dolls, the secret hides. and like every birth, it was a necessary pain... I know, I know... it's all worth the wait, worth the weight.

or Accidental Lights

On your mark, get set... A million miles past the finish line My heels lift at this imaginary starting line. The trigger slips; My heart was racing well before it's time. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, As the road up ahead disappears. Though it's all been said, and this empty dictionary is all that's left, I'll try to change the world in a single word. My hands are shaking, ready or not. Invisible ink well it's all I've got. So I'll concentrate and pick from these barren trees. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, And every road I discover disappears under my feet - Some call it reckless, some call it breathing. Have i said too much or not enough? Is it overkill or is it giving up, To measure out the distance of an echo's reach? If it's all broken mirrors and a chance roll of the dice, Then I'll risk everything for a glimpse of accidental light. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, And every road I've discovered disappears under my feet - Some call it reckless, I call it breathing.

Hisoka Mikage : Smell

Is this the part when the brain scans show where memories reside? Some ambiguous shape in me suddenly producing light Triggered like a tripwire, every time I breathe it in Isn't it strange that a Lilac tree is what unlocks where I've been? Like a time machine rebuilds the past, our memories return Like remembering the ashes before we burn

It finishes against my will, the light goes out, my heart goes still And just like that, I believe in ghosts

Time and space are at my back, Performing disappearing acts Now I can escape the smell of smoke Research says that the only way to keep memories intact Is to lock 'em away and close the doors to countless years of past I guess that explains why the strangest things can conjure up the past And forgotten time will find its long way back

It doesn't matter, I just know I need more Cause I feel like I've been sleeping through the better part of this Laying dormant through an endless winter that doesn't even exist

It's gravity in an hourglass, responsible for the avalanche And the loudest silence that I've ever heard Memory clear as a bell, A story that I will try to tell Maybe this time without words

Homare Arisugawa :  Four

Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure One day I'll wear it all on my sleeve The insignificant with the sacred unique But I've fallen in love with a ghost I lost my balance when I needed it most And this blurry photograph is proof Of what I'm not sure but it feels like truth I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here It's been forever since I came up for air Flashlight in hand determined to find Authenticity only poetry could even begin to try to describe

What if we already are who we've been dying to become In certain light I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence Hidden in you, Maybe even in me

or Son

Show me Who I am and who I could be Initiate the heart within me 'til it opens properly

Slow down Start again from the beginning I can't keep my head from spinning out of control Is this what being vulnerable feels like? And I will try, try, try to breathe 'til it turns to muscle memory I'm only steady on my knees One day I'll stand on my own two feet And I'll run the risk Of being intimate with brokenness Through this magnifying glass I see a thousand finger prints On the surfaces of who I am

Azuma Yukishiro : Two

Tell me, is something wrong?  If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat It's okay if you can't find the words, Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders

I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day, I will get around To fixing myself, too I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow to be loved myself

Or Six

What would it feel like to put this baggage down? If I'm being honest I'm not sure I'd know how I want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight And somewhere in the middle I feel a little paralyzed But maybe I'm stronger than I realize I wanna believe - No, I choose to believe That I was made to become a sanctuary Fear won't go away but I can keep it at bay And these invisible walls just might keep us safe With a vigilant heart, I'll push into the dark And I'll learn to breathe deep and make peace with the stars Is that courage or faith to show up every day? To trust that there will be light, Always waiting behind even the darkest of nights

Guy : Mind

First, the ground rules get established: Memory is historically inaccurate. But repetition, repetition sings 'Til finally the melody is sacred, rooted, unchanged.

It overwhelms the nervous system, This fearful constant state of comparison. In our grey matter, all grey matters. An embarrassment of riches in our heads, We gravitate to black or white instead. We were designed to send mixed signals, One image made up of different pixels All subject to interpretation. 'Til binary systems, binary systems run And the vibrancy of everything becomes zeros and ones.

Patterns form and feel important, It's the first brush stroke of a self-portrait.

[fablesrose]

Drunk on the Memories

Summary: Eliot gets drunk with an old friend, before he even joined the military, they insist on singing to each other

Word count: 1805

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Fem!Reader

Square filled: Drunken Confession

Masterlist ~ Bingo Masterlist

Warnings: Talk of war, drinking (obv)

Songs: I Wanna be in the Cavalry by Corb Lund, I Wanna be in the Cavalry Reprise by Corb Lund, Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

A/n: this is for @girl-next-door-writes Make Me Feel Bingo, I did cut out a verse or two on the first too songs to keep it shorter and less graphic but I really enjoyed writing this, so enjoy! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you drunk enough yet?”

I shook my head and knocked back another drink, “Now I am, you?”

Eliot took a large swig of whiskey right from the bottle, “Hand me the guitar.”

I passed it to him with a smile. He grunted and strummed it a couple of times, grumbling that it was out of tune. He started turning the knobs to change the pitch of the strings and my mind drifted to the last time I had heard him sing.

It was years ago, we were both young, broke, and stupid as hell. His one brain cell was telling him to join the military, so that’s what he did. He was being deployed the next morning, so all of our friends and family gathered round a fire, passed the booze around, and insisted on having a swell time. It got to the point where we were drunk enough to do anything, so someone shoved a guitar into Eliot’s hands and told him to put on one last show.

He laughed but started to sing all the same.

“I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

I wanna good steed under me like my forefathers before

I wanna good mount when the bugle sounds and I hear the cannons' roar

I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war.”

Everybody quieted down to listen to him. It was an upbeat song, but it settled in that he was going to war. And with a voice like his, how could you not listen?

“I wanna horse in the volunteer force that's riding forth at dawn

Please save for me some gallantry that will echo when I'm gone

I beg of you sarge let me lead the charge when the battle lines are drawn

Lemme at least leave a good hoof beat they'll remember loud and long”

Wolf whistles rose from our group as the energy picked back up again. His face was smiling, young, and full of joy.

“I'd not a good foot soldier make, I'd be sour and slow at march

And I'd be sick on a navy ship, and the sea would leave me parched

But I'll be first in line if they'll let me ride, by god, you'll see my starch

Lope back o'er the heath with the laurel wreath underneath that vict'ry arch”

We laughed. He stood and we cheered him on as he danced around the fire and wove through us. I became mesmerized by him as his voice seemed to light up the area as much as the fire, and warmed me the same amount. Before I knew it he was singing the last verse.

“Let 'em play their flutes and stirrup my boots and place them back to front

For I won't be back on the rider-less black (jack) and I'm finished in my hunt

I wanna be in the cavalry if I must go off to war

I wanna be in the cavalry, but I won't ride home no more”

I was pulled out of my trance as the Eliot before me started to sing, similarly drunk, but different in every other way.

“I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

I wanna good steed under me like my forefathers before

“Courageous at first we took their worst, our positions we held stout

We clung to belief and we hung on the speech from our trusted leaders' mouths

Overwhelming odds and a hopeless cause and our cities overrun

There were them that said we was badly led and God were we outgunned”

When we met earlier he seemed okay, happy even, but with the alcohol came a weariness that only someone who had seen too much could hold. His hands were precise and aged, far from the man I knew that was young and quick, but they still held the same grace with the music.

“I lost count of the worthy mounts that from under me were cut

My favourite mare with her head in the air took the cannons in her gut

In the first two weeks on that bloody creek my brother lost his arm

Was only sixty days till all we prayed was get us home unharmed”

My heart ached as I remembered similar prayers that left my lips, prayers for peace, for safety, for an end of the pain, anyway necessary at points. I could tell that more feeling was in this version of the song then the one I remembered so long ago. That every word that flowed from his mouth was a more of a memory.

“O for the day that we signed our names and the well that we were wished

The men's congrats and the pats on the backs and the ladies that we kissed

The band that played and the grande parade and the patriotic shouts

All faded fast, didn't even last till the uniforms wore out

“We were finally forced to feed on horse and carcass we could scrounge

When the wagons stopped and we'd burnt their crops to charred and barren ground

With morale in doubt and our pride run out no honour did I see

All I seen were a thousand dreams piled dead in front of me

“I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

I wanna be in the cavalry, but I won’t ride home no more.”

The apartment echoed the reverberations of the strings. I felt myself sway a little before I grabbed onto the counter with a clap. The alcohol was stirring up some unwelcome feelings in the silence.

“Come on little filly, I believe it’s your turn.”

I chuckled, shaking away the previous emotions, “Fine.”

I grabbed the ukulele that was laid on the floor by the counter.

He laughed, “You still play that thing? What are you gonna sing? Somewhere Over the Rainbow?”

I shook my head, “Yes, as a matter of fact I do still play this thing, and no I won’t be singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

I did think about it. I will admit that, though only to myself. Instead, I chose something that I remembered. Something familiar. Maybe the alcohol had something to do with it.

I strummed the strings, making sure it sounded right before plucking out a tune.

“So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?”

I felt my eyes water. I kept telling myself I drank too much. It was the alcohol making me emotional, but I knew that was only part of it. It’s been years since I last saw Eliot. We had led different lives, but somehow we still ended up here, more similar than we would have thought.

“Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk-on part in the war

For a leading role in a cage?”

Eliot’s face was blank, cold. Maybe he was lost in some memories of his own this time. I blinked away the wet eyes and focused back on the strings under my fingertips.

“How I wish, how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl

Year after year

Running over the same old ground

What have we found?

The same old fears

Wish you were here.”

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut.

“That was real pretty.”

I smiled bitterly, “Why thank you, you aren’t so bad yourself.”

“What made you pick that song?”

I poured myself another drink, “What made you pick yours?”

He paused, not expecting the question.

“Memories.”

I smiled and nodded, “Me too.” I moved to take a sip, when I hesitated and placed it back down, anymore and I would be sick. “You know, I sang that song to myself every time I missed you.”

“So once every couple of years?”

“Everyday sometimes.”

There was a pause between us.

“It almost hurt worse when I saw you afterwards, because I would still sing it. Because you still weren’t here with us, not really. Now here we are, both drunk as hell, both got dirt, probably more on our hands, and I’m singing it to you.”

I touched my face to find the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Now what does that say about me?” I wiped my face and sniffed, trying to compose myself again.

Eliot slid off his stool and stood between my knees,  “It means that you’re still that same girl I left in that small and dusty town.”

I scoffed, “We both know that’s not entirely true.”

His hands came up to my face, “Sure it is, you’re still strong, beautiful, caring, and the best friend I could barely hope for.”

His hands were warm on my jaw, rough, but soothing. I couldn’t help but whisper, “What if I told you I wanted to be more than friends?”

He took a step closer to the point where I could feel his breath on my face. I looked up at him, still a little taller than me even on the stool.

“What if I told you I wanted to kiss you?”

“I’d tell you I feel the same.”

“Me too.”

He dipped his head to my lips. He tasted of the whiskey we’d been drinking, but maybe the taste of my last shot was just lingering on my tongue. His hands drifted to the back of my neck, his fingertips caressing my scalp. I found myself gripping his shoulder and forearm, trying to keep myself anchored. Eliot took another step that pushed my stool backwards. Now my back was against the counter and Eliot’s chest was pressed against mine.

We paused for a moment with our eyes closed and foreheads pressed together.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” I could feel the vibrations in his chest as he spoke, and I let out a sigh.

“Yeah.”

Eliot’s hands softly untangled from my hair and drifted over my shoulders, down my back and traced my waist. He slipped them under my thighs and lifted me up onto the counter, pushing the stool underneath and out of the way. He didn’t make a sound as he wrapped is arms around me, burying his face in my neck.

I ran my hands through his long hair, holding him close. Eventually he left soft kisses on my neck, leading up to my jaw, before leaving one more on my lips.

“You don’t have to sing that song alone anymore, I’m here.”

“Yeah, you are. You rode home. You rode home to me.”

Best Buds: @snarky--starky  @kitkatd7 @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog @kaogasm

[ravioxhilda]

Here is my contribution to the Ferriswheelshipping one-shot stockpile, written by yours truly. I decided to do a slight canon divergence of N returning to Unova before Hilda leaves to go search for them so they actually see each other. I hope you enjoy!

The past year had been...harrowing, to say the least.

Ghetsis, the leader of Team Plasma, had been defeated and arrested by Alder and Cheren, as well as the remains of his team.

The Pokémon League had suffered a large blow by being defeated and taken over by the enemy, the Elite Four barely managing to escape before Team Plasma’s Castle had erupted from the ground.

Unova had since fallen into a sense of restless peace, celebrating the rise of its new Champion who had brought Ghetsis and the whole of Team Plasma to its knees, Hilda.

“A teenager defeated our greatest threat? How did she do it?”

“Are we sure she wasn’t apart of their team this entire time? She is awfully suspicious.”

“Yes, she was seen with the leader’s...what was he, son?”

“I believe so, they even were together at the Ferris Wheel in Nimbasa City, one of the top romantic spots in Unova. That is a little strange.

Those were stories and rumors circulating around the region’s newest Champion, and she possibly had more articles written about her and the elusive “King of Team Plasma who had mysteriously disappeared” in the few weeks after she became Champion than Alder had his entire time as Champion.

How Hilda wished she could dispute the rumors, explain about what exactly had happened between her and N, but she couldn’t. In truth, she couldn’t even decide what exactly her relationship with him was either.

So she sat in silence, the new responsibilities as the representative of all Unovan Trainers keeping her mind occupied most of the time, though at night when she could finally gather her thoughts, her mind drifted towards N.

She hadn’t seen him since he had disappeared with Reshiram after the collapse of Team Plasma’s Castle, the castle he had summoned from the ground.

She had known who he was, she had known the dangers of associating with him, with being around him, and yet, she couldn’t help but feel drawn to him unlike anyone else she had ever met before.

Now, he was nowhere to be seen, his father imprisoned, his loyal followers having gone into hiding all across the region. Everyone knew they were there and simply biding their time, but even after multiple rigorous searches carried out by the International Police, they had found nothing.

It was as if they had disappeared into thin air.

Hilda lay in her bed at her home in Nuvema Town, the moonlight streaking across the floor as she stared out the window towards the night sky, as if she would catch a glimpse of a white dragon streaking through the sky.

She sighed, turning away as she felt exhaustion beginning to creep into her body, allowing her to finally fall asleep.

At the entrance to the small town, where Pokémon were scattering about, a large white dragon had landed, a green long-haired Trainer sliding off its back and landed quietly on the grass.

“Looks like we’re finally home, Reshiram. I’ll go find out any information about where she might be, you go back up and hide in the sky.” The Trainer said, patting the Pokémon’s back before it flew off, leaving him alone.

He grasped the charm on the necklace he wore as he stepped nervously into the town, afraid of what awaited him within.

~~~

“Hilda? Sweetie, are you awake?”

Hilda blearily opened one eye, looking to see that the sun had already risen quite high into the sky, not a good sign to see when she was supposed to be working or training.

“Yeah, I’m up.” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes as the door opened, her mother peeking her head through the doorframe.

“When you’re finished getting ready, could you come downstairs? Someone is here to see you.” She said, though Hilda could sense the unease in her mother’s eyes.

“Who is it? Is it that International Policeman again?” Hilda asked, and her mother shook her head.

“He wouldn’t tell me a name, only a letter. He has been waiting here for the past twenty minutes, though he insisted on helping tidying up while waiting for you to wake up.” She said, and Hilda froze, a million thoughts spinning through her mind as she immediately got out of bed.

“Hilda, is everything alright?” Her mother asked, eyeing her daughter with concern as Hilda looked frantically into her eyes.

“Mom, whatever happens, don’t let him leave. I’ll be down in a few minutes, don’t let him out of your sight.” She said, rushing over to close the door before her mother could utter another word.

“Is N really here? Why is he here? Doesn’t he understand that the International Police are on the hunt for him?” She thought as she ran around the room, desperately trying to get dressed as well as tidy up the room.

Hilda rushed downstairs into the kitchen to see her mother chatting amicably with another person.

He hadn’t changed one bit. Even his hair looked the same, and the warm smile on his face still served to make her heart beat slightly faster.

“N?”

He looked over to see Hilda, though if he hadn’t known it was her, he could have easily mistaken her for someone else.

Her clothing hadn’t changed much, except she had stopped wearing her hat, but the way she held herself was more...confident, though even he could sense the exhaustion weighing her down.

“Hello, Hilda.” He said, smiling softly as he walked closer towards her, though she looked as if she’d seen a ghost.

“But, how are you-“

“I’ll explain everything later, I promise.” He said, then turned to Hilda’s mother, bowing his head to her respectfully.

“Thank you for your hospitality, but I should be leaving. Do you mind if take your daughter out? She will be back early if that is an issue.” He said, and Hilda’s mother smiled and nodded.

“Of course I don’t mind! Feel free to be out as long as you want.”

N nodded as he held out his hand towards Hilda, who was still trying to process the situation, though that damned smile was making her face heat up.

“Will you come with me, then? We can go anywhere you’d like.” He asked, and Hilda slowly nodded as she took ahold of his hand, firmly grasping it to make sure he was really there.

“Come on, let’s go. Reshiram is waiting for us, and it can be pretty impatient at times.”

N then dragged Hilda out the door, leaving her mother very confused as she waved good-bye.

The two ran through the small town, the dirt kicking up underneath their feet as N pulled Hilda away from her home.

“N, where are you taking me?” She asked, though was cut short when he abruptly stopped, scanning the sky as if he was searching for something.

“I need to find...ha, there it is!”

Hilda squinted as she followed his gaze, though was only given a second to back up before Reshiram slammed into the ground, seeming a little annoyed as it glared at N.

“I’m sorry, it took a little longer than I thought it would to find her, but here she is. Hilda, I believe you remember Reshiram?” N asked, allowing Hilda to step closer to the Legendary, reaching out to touch its side.

“Hello, Reshiram. It’s been a while since I have seen you, though I suppose a year isn’t incredibly long for a Pokémon that’s lived as long as you.” She said softly, the Legendary Pokémon grunting in response.

“Do you know what N is planning on doing?” She asked, Reshiram shaking its head as it leaned down, allowing N to climb onto its back.

“It does not, but do you trust me enough to come with us?” He asked, holding out his hand once again to Hilda, the sight of it so very enticing. What would happen if she accepted his proposal? Where would they go?

She sighed, grabbing ahold of N’s hand, allowing him to pull her up behind him onto the Legendary, wrapping her arms around his torso, shocking him for a moment as he heard the words he’d been so afraid he’d never hear again.

“I trust you.”

N smiled, patting the side of the Legendary’s neck, signaling for it to take off from the ground.

It did so with no warning, causing Hilda to bite down on her lip to keep from screaming as she held tightly onto N, still confused by everything that was happening but knowing he was key to her not panicking and possibly falling off.

It was silent for a time, no words spoken, just the wind rushing around them as they soared through the sky, though N couldn’t help but think that having Hilda hold onto him so tightly was...nice.

He had longed to see her since leaving Unova, even with everything else on his mind, such as finding out his father using him or the International Police doing their utmost to track him down.

Now here he was, her holding onto him for dear life as they soared through the skies of their home, and now he was so unsure of what to say.

“Hilda? Are you ready to look at me now?”

Hilda slightly relaxed her grip as she moved her head away from his back to see him staring at once again with a smile, as if her presence was bringing him joy.

“Where are you taking me, N? You can’t just disappear for a year and then show up at my home with no explanation!” She demanded, though N could only laugh at her pouting expression. How he had missed this. How he had missed her.

“I have no particular destination in mind, but I needed to get away from your home as quickly as possible. I spotted some International Police agents in the woods surrounding it, and I am still a national fugitive.” He said, his expression suddenly serious.

“If you’re still wanted, then why did you return to Unova? Team Plasma is probably also trying to track you down.” She asked, and N seemed to hesitate, looking past her into the distance, as if a painful memory had come to mind.

“It’s...difficult to explain. Perhaps you and I can go somewhere to chat? Where would you like to go, we have all of Unova to explore.”

Hilda thought for a moment, a place coming to mind almost immediately, though for all the wrong reasons.

“Nimbasa City. I want to go to Nimbasa City.”

That shocked N. The very place he had betrayed her, had hurt her, why in the world would she want to go there?

“Hilda, are you sure? Do you not remember what happened before?” He asked, her nodding as she clenched her fists against her lap.

“I remember. It hurts for me to remember, but I want to have new memories of it with you so it is less...painful.”

N nodded, urging Reshiram onward as they returned to the uncomfortable silence, the memories of that night still in their minds as Hilda held onto him once again, afraid that if she looked away again, he would be gone.

The sun was already beginning its descent when the three had finally arrived at Nimbasa City, a shining city in Unova that housed many attractions, including the Gym Leader Elesa’s Electric Gym, as well as the Ferris Wheel.

The very sight of it dredged up many more painful memories for Hilda and N. It was as if they were reliving the past all over again.

“Hilda, are you absolutely certain you want to be here? We can go to another city if you’d like.” N asked, though Hilda glared at him a with a determined look in her eyes as she pointed towards the Ferris Wheel.

“I am. We should talk there, less chance of being spotted by the International Police.” She said simply, walking in the direction of the Ferris Wheel, leaving N to send off Reshiram before rushing after her.

After catching up with her, the two arrived at a small kiosk that lay at the foot of the attraction, an obviously bored engineer standing behind the counter collecting money from passengers.

“Welcome to the Rondez-View Ferris Wheel, where couples can board and enjoy the view to their heart’s content. Fee is ¥1,000, pay the money or stay away.” She said, looking between Hilda and N with a skeptical look on her face.

“Huh, never would have expected the Champion would be here with Unova’s most wanted criminal. I guess the rumors are true.”

Hilda looked at N with worry before taking out the money from her bag and handing it to the engineer.

“You won’t tell the International Police we’re here, will you?” She asked, and the engineer waved her off before opening the small gate.

“I’m not one to get in the way of a blossoming romance, go have a good time, just try and be discreet and we won’t have any problems.” She said finally, allowing Hilda and N to slip by the a silent nod of thanks before stepping into an gondola, the door closing behind them.

The area was small, two cushioned seats allowing enough room for two people each to sit, a small air conditioning whirring to keep the enclosed space cool.

Hilda and N sat down together on one seat, almost touching though trying so desperately not to.

“We’re alone now. Now tell me everything that has happened.” Hilda said softly, though N couldn’t even make eye contact with her, instead looking out towards the horizon of the evening sky.

“I know that I have done some...very bad things in the past, and there is no making up for it. Me running away and leaving you behind was another one of those bad things. But the truth was...I was scared.” He said, shocking Hilda as she looked up towards him, trying to catch his eye.

“You were scared of being caught by the International Police or by Ghetsis?” She asked, placing a hand on his arm as she felt him shudder at the sound of his adoptive father’s name.

“It wasn’t just that. I was scared, no I was terrified, of what would happen if I stayed here in Unova, with you. The thought of you getting hurt because of me was something I couldn’t bear, so I left before it could happen.”

He then turned towards her, his eyes full of such sadness that it caused Hilda to freeze, her tears in her eyes matching the ones forming in his own.

“I understand, N, I really do. But you being gone for so long hurt me more than anything anyone could do to me. I missed you so much, I came here every day just in the hope that I’d see you sitting right here, waiting for me.” She said, tentatively reaching out to cup her palm against his cheek.

“Hilda...” He started, though Hilda shook her head as she placed a finger to his lips.

“Please, let me finish. You had such noble intentions, and I thank you for that. But listen to me when I say this, please don’t leave me behind again, I don’t think I could handle it.” She pleaded, causing him to smile as he leaned his forehead against hers, taking ahold of both her hands.

“Nothing in this world can keep me away from you forever. You showed me the true value of this world after I had been led astray by the lies of my father my entire life. Hilda, you made me want to become a better person, someone who is worthy of you, of being with you.”

Hilda smiled, leaning closer towards N until the space between them had been closed, her lips touching his as she closed her eyes, feeling him let go of her hands to pull her closer to him, holding her tightly in his arms.

The feeling of being held so tenderly, brushing her hand through N’s hair so softly as he kissed her so softly made Hilda feel as if she was walking on air, the taste of his lips so sweet and warm.

To N, this was something he had never thought about, never even considered a possibility in his life. Loving someone had always been out of the question as he tried to free his friends from the confines of their Trainer’s every whim, but now, he couldn’t imagine anything else other than being with the girl in his arms.

Neither had ever thought it would feel so...right, so natural.

“N...” Hilda murmured, causing N to pull away to look her in the eyes, though he did not let go of her, which she was grateful for.

“Is everything alright?” He whispered, Hilda nodding quickly as she leaned towards him, laying her head against his shoulder as she pulled him into a closer embrace.

“I just...I never imagined that’s what that would be like. I feel so...safe with you here, I haven’t been at ease like this in so long.” She said, breaking into a fit of hysterics as N smiled, patting her back in a comforting manner.

“I’ve never felt calm as I am when I’m around you. You put put my mind and soul at peace, and I’d never want it any way.” He said, Hilda smiling as she looked up out the window, realizing they were almost back down to the ground.

“Looks like our time is almost up.”

N nodded sadly, reaching over to open the door as the gondola slowly slid by the platform, pulling Hilda out onto the flat steel area, the engineer staring at them as bored as ever.

“Looks like you two had fun. However, you may want to skip town, I’ve had two International Police agents come waltzing by while you were being all lovey-dovey.” She said nonchalantly, holding up her hand to stop any protests from either of them.

“I don’t care if you were kissing in the gondola, that’s the least of what I have to worry about people doing, just get out of here, and next time, don’t bring a fugitive.”

Hilda nodded, scanning the area to see two suspiciously dressed characters loitering around the Ferris Wheel entrance.

“Come on, Nimbasa City will be crawling with police if you’re spotted.” Hilda urged, now pulling N along as he waved his hands frantically in the air, attempting to capture Reshiram’s attention.

Thankfully, it worked as the Legendary Dragon soon landed in front of them, immediately kneeling to allow the two to hurriedly climb on before taking off again into the now dark sky before two police officers could catch up to them.

The wind whipped around them harshly, causing Hilda to shiver before deciding to lean backwards into N, his body heat seeping into her skin as she smiled with contentment.

“Are you taking me home?”

The question seemed to sit in the air for a moment, one that should have been so simple, and yet it brought both of them a sense of dread. They had known this day couldn’t last forever, and yet neither of them wanted it to end.

“Yes, I am. There’s nowhere safer for you right now.” He said simply, feeling a sort of sadness beginning to creep in as he held Hilda towards him once again, afraid that if he let go, she would no longer be there and it was all a dream.

Reshiram soon landed back at the outskirts of Nuvema Town, though thankfully there was no one wandering about the small town, allowing Hilda and N to land on the dragon unnoticed.

Hilda slid off its back, patting the Legendary’s head and whispering thanks to it before turning to look at N, a look of sadness in his eyes.

“Are you leaving?” She asked, and N hesitated for a moment before nodding, a look of utter sorrow in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Hilda. You remember what that woman said, I’m still a wanted fugitive, and even if you may be Champion, you can still be arrested for just being around me.” He said, and Hilda sighed, stepping closer before pulling him down towards her for another kiss, which he happily obliged.

“You better not be gone for an entire year this time. I don’t care how dangerous it is to be with you, I would go through anything just to have you close.” She whispered, N nodding as he kissed her once again, desperate to have as many from her as possible.

“I’ll come back as soon as I can, I promise. You still have things you need to do here in Unova, and you aren’t allowed to come with me. It’s too dangerous.” He said, Hilda sighing as she felt tears start to well up.

“I know, I have my duty as Champion to fulfill, but N?”

“Hm?”

Hilda wrapped her arms around him and held him as close as she could, squeezing him tightly as tears began to run freely down her cheeks.

“Please don’t forget about me.” She whispered, N smiling as he held her.

“There is nothing in this world that could make me forget you. Farewell, Hilda.”