#we have gotten 3 new machines at work since I started

[mctreeleth]

I continue to be a “reads manuals for fun” neurodivergent

[nenoname]

Journal 3’s references to Stan

(…does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford’s TBoB letters sure as hell don’t count as J3 but I’m including them here anyway)

Lost Journal Pages

"STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH"

“My stomach sank a bit when I realized… it was my birthday. This day has felt… odd, since S and I… parted ways.”

"I was adjusting my TV antennae for weather reports (looking for ideal conditions for F's first portal test) and spat out my coffee when I saw THIS! My brother hawking scams under the name "Panley Stines." I had half a mind to call that number, just to pretend to be the police and maybe scare S straight for once! There is something so galling about seeing your OWN FACE committing crimes on your own TV! When my Muse saw me break my stress ball, I decided it was finally time to vent about Stanley."

""How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!"

"You can't just eat your twin, Bill."

You'd be surprised what you can eat! I say sure, call him if you want him to start mooching off you again! ME, I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it. All they did was hold me back and sabotage my talents! Can you imagine?"

"More than you know. But you do ever wonder if maybe... maybe things could have been different?""

"Our heat budget was so tight that Mom forced S and me to wear one sweater at the same time. (She called it the "Abominable Snow-Stan." Our cat lived in fear of it year-round.)"

“DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I’ve quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes.”

"But then he crossed a line. Helplessly I watched Cipher in my own body limp up to a pay phone and dial... STANLEY'S phone number from the infomercial?! No. He wouldn't.

"Hey brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE."

My heart was in my throat until I heard the dial tone... The pay phone was out of order. The message hadn't gotten through. Cipher turned back to address me.

"TSK, TSK, TSK. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MAKE YOU DO! TOMORROW'S TAPE IS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.""

(Bro secret code) "miss you"

“The snow has begun to fall again and there’s very little time. There’s only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey…”

"S is an overgrown child with none of my rigorous mental training. Who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside Stanley's mind for even one minute...

What if Stanley somehow manages to destroy the portal just like he destroyed my perpetual motion machine? I suppose that machine did work in its own way... It kept me perpetually angry for thirty years."

(Bro secret code) "HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?"

"What if he tries to rope me into his latest get-rich-quick scheme? His latest commercial was for "Stan Sauce: The Miracle Sauce that's too cool for the FDA!"

What if... he mocks me? What if he sees that I abandoned our family to become a recluse on the brink of madness? Could I risk admitting that I was... wrong?

PROS: I have no one else. Well, that settles it. It's time to come face-to-face with a face I haven't seen in 10 years. My own face. Which... is my brother's face. God, I miss sleep."

Ford’s Letters

"In the weeks since Weirdmageddon, I conducted numerous tests on Stanley's mind (his terrible jokes are still intact) and inspected the state for dimensional leakage (we also took turns kicking the statue, and Stanley took a few cracks with a crowbar). I burned every Cipher-shaped item I had ever collected, and even threw away all my one-dollar bills, just to be safe (Stanley, of course, found and pocketed them).

“I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!”

“They didn’t see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!”“

"Bill may tell you that happiness requires conquering galaxies and living forever, but I've seen enough of the universe to tell you that he's wrong. I've found my happiness. And it looks like this:"

"If you're reading this... then I am dead. Kidding! Sorry, Stanley thought that would be funny. Ha-ha! We're currently out shopping for harpoons to prepare for our trip to the arctic."

"Stan, if you end breaking into my lab at some point later today- Bravo! Still as good a locksmith as in 8th grade. Beers are under the desk."

(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford’s opinions on Stan instead, where he’s openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more… melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different

Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S” or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher). I think he only ever messes up the general naming scheme a single time when he wrote Fiddleford instead of F

…not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)

Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Sewing with I.N ‗ ❍

Pairing : Yang Jeongin x f reader

Summary : chapter eight of a cute standalone miniseries. It's what it says in the title

Genre/ Warnings : scenario/imagine/headcanon, drabble, fluff, no warning at all just so much fluff it's crazy

Word count : 1.52 k words (longest)

A/n : It's finished omg T-T look forward to my next full length (spicy) one shot with ayen <3

ps: There could be grammar errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

masterlist

series masterpost

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

One morning Jeongin was running around the living room in a rush to get downstairs, as his members and managers were there to pick him up to go to work.

"Bye cutie, see you l-" as soon as he bent down to give you a kiss, you heard a ripping noise. You both froze.

Jeongin instinctively slapped a hand on his ass as you quickly got up from the couch to look at the damage.

"Oh my gosh, inne let me look" you moved his hand as he started to jump up and down, impatient and anxious about being late.

Yep. There was a whole rip in his butt area in his jeans. They were literally baggy jeans, how old must have they been to rip? Maybe it was worn out?

"Quick, get out of them, I'll grab you another pair!" You exclaimed as you ran straight to his closet.

Fortunately, he took really good care of his wardrobe so it was very easy to find the pants. You grabbed a similar pair of jeans, then ran back.

You kneeled down, helping him one leg at a time, since he had like two bags on him and you were worried he would've tripped.

"You're a life saver, thank you my love" he leaned to kiss you, and succeed this time, as he buttoned and zipped up the pants.

That time, when he went out and you were left to chill at home on your day off, you decided to take a look at the actual damage and saw that it was not the denim that ripped, but rather the sewing coming undone for some reason.

You checked better, and of course you found the reason. Jeongin had cut the fabric tag way too close to the sewing and so after a while of wearing and pulling, they came undone.

Once you figured that the pants were fixable, you decided to surprise Innie and got to work. You took out your old sewing machine from the high space in your closet, then carefully picked a matching color for the thread.

About ten minutes later, the jeans looked brand new. You smiled proudly as you held them up in front of you, checking the front and the back. Not bad, you thought.

That evening, Jeongin came home tired and basically sleeping on his feet. He was exhausted.

"Aw, you're so tired, baby" you pouted as he rested his forehead on your chest. He nodded without answering, which made you giggle a bit. He was so cute.

"Have you eaten? It's a bit late so I hope you did" you asked, scratching his head lightly with your nails, to relax him.

"Something earlier. Just sleepy. Can we go to bed?" He spoke with a tired, slurry voice.

"That's good. Yes, we can. I just wanted to show you something-" you detached yourself and walked to the living room table, picking up and unfolding the jeans.

Jeongin watched your movements curiously. As soon as he saw the jeans, he focused his eyes, squinting a bit.

"I fixed them this morning. They were not ripped, the sewing came undone. Be careful not to cut the tag too short next time!" You smiled sweetly.

He took the pants from your hands and inspected them with a dimply smiled. He actually got a bit shy? Maybe it was the domesticity of it.

"They look brand new. You did such a good job, baby, thank you" he leaned closer and kissed your lips gently as a thank you.

The next time something similar happened, Jeongin came to you with a t-shirt. It was a casual, short sleeves graphic tee. Designer, of course.

"Y/nie, there's a little hole, right here, you see?" You walked closer and inspected the shirt yourself.

"Mhm yeah, I don't know how it would've gotten there, but it's totally fixable. Would you like me to fix it?" You asked.

He looked at you with love-filled eyes and shyly nodded. You kind of noticed his demeanor and that made you smile, too.

"Okay then. Trust me."

This time, you decided to dare a little and do something more. But based on how he seems to react, and honestly how good of a job you did, you were excited to show him the result.

He went out for a while to get some groceries and coffe for the both you, so when he came home you waited until he had his jacket off and he was comfortable.

"Jeonginnie" you called, purposefully acting cutesy. He sharpened his gaze in suspicion, but he had a playful smile on his lips.

"Yes?"

"I fixed the McQueen shirt" you suddenly pulled it out from behind your back, handing it to him. Just like a gift. He widened his eyes and mouth in shock.

"Wow, already?? You're the best, cutie, thank you so much." He kissed your lips as a thank you, which you welcomed gladly, but then encouraged him to check out your work.

And that's when he saw it. You didn't just fix the hole. You actually used some thicker, almost wool-like thread, and embroidered a small black heart, which matched perfectly with the black and white punk style of the shirt.

He looked at it in disbelief, smiling so wide his eyes turned into little half moons and his dimples came out cuter than ever.

"No way! You did this for me?" He lightly stroke the heart with his thumb, "It's so well done and it looks so good with the rest" he kept complimenting you.

You had a huge smile, giggling like a school girl. It was almost too much how stupidly in love you were.

"So you can have a little piece of me when you wear it" you replied sheepishly. At that point he just lost it, the cuteness aggression taking over him.

So he threw the shirt on the armchair and then launched himself at you, starting to pepper all your face and neck with kisses. Making as much noise as he could while you couldn't help but giggle, then laugh as he was tickling you.

From then on, if he happened to have some issue with his non-working clothes, he'd ask if you could fix them for him, instead of asking one of their staff like he would've had done before meeting you.

You happily complied every time you could manage, but some things sometimes weren't worth it, so he threw them away, or you recommend a more experienced seamstress to handle it.

But regardless, it had almost become your little thing. He quickly got interested in the process of sewing up/ embroidery and even knitting. He enjoyed the activity, as well as creating some silly things like a knitted version of a pokémon he liked, but mostly he loved spending time with you.

"Good morning my baby" he nuzzled his face in your hair, waking you up gently. You smiled, snuggling back into him.

"Mornin'" your sleepy voice replied. He smiled widely and told you to wait a second. You protested, stretching out your arm to try and keep him in bed, but eventually dropped it back on the mattress soundly.

Jeongin came back, still only wearing a pair of tracksuit pants, hiding something behind his back.

That peeked your interest, so you fully opened your eyes, waiting.

"The big stuff is gonna come later but...for now..." He teased, getting closer to the bed, then leaning forward with one knee on the mattress, "Happy birthday, my beautiful y/nie"

At that he revealed what he was hiding, which was a whole knitted winter hat, including a cute pompon at the top. You gasped as you sat up, snatching it from his hands.

"No way you made this!" You exclaimed, excited. He laughed.

"I had a good teacher" he smiled sweetly, "Do you like it? I know it's not perfect bu-" he couldn't even finish the sentence as you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss you.

"Don't even say that! It's perfect, it's absolutely perfect. And my favorite colors too, oh I love you" you both had huge smiles.

"I love you, too. Happy birthday!"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[thebestofoneshots]

WOLFSTAR X READER SERIES

Gilded Constellations | THE INTERLUDE

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Summary: You meet Sirius and Regulus at a family vacation in the Caribbean, but things don't go as planned and you end up losing contact once the trip is over. Years later your family moves to England and you get accepted at Hogwarts where you finally meet Sirius once again, along with all of his friends. One of them with a mysterious secret, that you'll uncover as you embark on your own Hogwarts adventure. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Hey Lovelies, welcome to “The Interlude” of Gilded Constellations. We’ve basically already gotten to 100 k words in this story and that’s absolutely insane!!! Which is why I thought of doing a little thing where I could interact with my readers. As a thank you for being there and supporting me so much through this journey. 

And so… this little Q&A was born. Those who didn't get to ask their questions, don’t worry my darlings, my ask will be open all week for you to ask whatever you want. It’s a mini event that will last from today ‘till next wednesday. 

But yes, it does mean this week we won’t get a new chapter D: 

Don’t worry, it will definitely be worth it since the next couple of episodes are two that I’ve put absolute extra care on crafting, and I will put just as much care on revising. I’ve been quite literally posting non stop for 15 weeks consecutively. That’s almost 4 months, what?!?! 

I needed my tiny lil break, besides I wanted to dedicate this bit of time to work on my Maraudween Special smutty series that will include some interesting mini AUs, so those that read my other stuff and not just Gilded Constellations will be quite literally treated this Halloween. There will be a lot of posts these next few weeks. Although, I might be releasing some of the Maraudween stories at the beginning of November. Unfortunately, I’m not a machine and I can’t write in seconds like Chat GPT. 

Without further ado, let’s get on with those questions!

Where did you get the inspo for the fic?

Oh my god if I tell you guys about this… It all started when I was in class, sometimes when I’m bored, my little mind starts to wander. I’m a total daydreamer, I can’t deny that, but at that moment in particular I was quite literally thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. And then, out of nowhere, this phrase came to me: 

“You look at them the same way you looked at me when we met…” 

And I was like, “omg that’s so freaking angsty” and “That’s a great freaking line for a poly story” And I quite literally wrote it down with a little tag that said, “-the start of a poly relationship story because I’ve never read enough of those.” 

And then I closed the notebook and went back to class. But I guess the idea had already set in my brain because next thing I know, I’m writing down more things down. And let me tell you, before Gilded Constellations I only wrote Oneshots because a story seemed like too much commitment. So I kid you not, I wrote down: 

“Not a short story, but maybe a 3-5 chapter long fic”. 

Jokes on me though, we’re 15 chapters in, like 20-something written and we’re probably going to end up with longer than 200k words and I’m not even sorry about it. Besides, I'm really pumped to finish it because I want to get it printed in Lulu and have my own little copy as a “Damn you wrote that.” kind of evidence thing. So worry not about being left with an unfinished fic, I’m going to complete this story even if it’s the last thing I do. 

Besides, if I’m being honest, when I’m not writing, I miss my boys, so I’ll definitely miss passing the time with them when I’m done with GC. (Luckily I’ve already got another series planned and spoiler alert: This one will be Poly!Marauders x reader, a lot spicier aaaand, PIRATES.) 

That’s how the fic started, well that and a dream that was basically most of Chapter 3 and I thought it was so cute that I wrote it down and then I was like, “hold up, this could be the start of the Poly story I was talking about…” 

Are there any real-life experiences that influenced your writing?

Well I mean, I’d say that art imitates life and life imitates art, but in regards to real-life romance I don’t really know that much. But there are definitely some things here and there that have been sprinkled from my real life into the fic. Not sure if I could think of a particular one but I can say sometimes Remus gives me the same vibe that a boy I “used to” have a crush on. “Used to” in quotation marks because I kinda still do even if we haven’t seen each other in years. 

So I guess a lot of Remus comes from my crush, but also Remus is his own little boy as well and I love him more for it. Even If I’m torturing him so much with his heartache, I promise it will be worth it Remus, reader and Sirius will take care of you, eventually. 

Other than that, I guess I like to pay attention to things around me, you’ll see me looking at nature, the sky, the way leaves move, the way people interact with each other. Especially at that actually, I like to pay attention to people, how they move, how they interact, and their reactions. Sometimes I do it irl, and sometimes I just watch movies or series, and since my writing process is like seeing a movie in my head and then putting it into words, it’s always useful to pay attention to the world around me. Even if I sometimes struggle to put into words exactly what I’m seeing in my head.  

Did you already have everything planned, or did you just go with the flow? If you have already, how far? all of it? Or just some chapters ahead? 

Well, yes and no. I do have various key points of the story planned, a lot of plot points that are going to happen and that’s kinda what I’m sustaining myself on. I know the big points and then I just have to write what happens in between them. And I’ve got it planned all the way ‘till my babes all start dating. After that, if I’m honest I’m not sure how I’m going to end it. Some parts of me want to go for the saddest ending possible because it would go along with cannon and the other side of me, the one that can’t bear to see my boys being sad, wants to just deviate completely and/or leave an open ending. 

But so far, I really cannot tell what exactly I’m going to do, I just know that time will tell. Because sometimes the characters just do what they want and I love to see where they take me. Which is why the ending is not set in stone just yet. 

Without giving too many spoilers, can you tease upcoming plot twists or surprises we can expect in future chapters?

My sly little foxes have already guessed some of the major plot twists that are upcoming in the story. And there definitely will come some surprises along the way, some you will love, some you won’t so much. But I promise you it will all be worth it! 

Remember in Gilded Constellations, everything happens for a reason. 

THE FANCAST

What's your fancast for the fic? Did you pick the reader too or just leave it be? //  I wanted to know if you have a fancast for everyone…

I did mention that I basically see stuff as a movie in my head right? So yes, I do have a fancast! Although I most definitely see James as Aaron, Sirius as Ben, Remus as Andrew and Peter as Dane, I have also twisted them in my brain. Like it’s them, right? But my version of them. Like my Sirius is so fucking ethereal in my head that sometimes I myself blush with his beauty. And Remus, well, he is probably most similar to Talita Asami’s from instagram. Especially this one. 

There’s something about the way she contrasts his soft features with the scars that’s just perfect. It’s that sexy pirate vibe I cannot get out of my head, if that makes sense.  But also I’ve been toying with AI lately (Talkie) and ended up with these two versions of Remus and Sirius and they have absolutely taken over. 

Sidenote: I made way to many of these, so do tell me if you wanna see them.

The reader: Uhm… well, I kind of just see her as me, hehe. Which is kind of the point, you should all just see the reader as yourselves, if you’re comfortable with that of course. 

The rest of our babies though? Lily Evans, Marlene and Mary, are kind of like the boys as in I see them as their fancast but also not entirely. And Lily especially, she’s just so freaking pretty in my head, there’s no one I know to match her, all thought Sophie Skelton and Kennedy Walsh (@/c4tluvr666 on Tiktok) are super close. 

Now, outside of canon characters, aka all of these OC’s I’ve been creating with time, some of them do have a fancast and some of them don’t. Let’s focus on the ones that do, because some of them I literally had in my head since the very, very beginning of the fic. 

Tom Harrow- This boy actually started as a younger version of Tom Hiddleston in my head, but the more I wrote him, the more he said, “Luv, that’s not what I look like!” And, almost out of nowhere, baby Tom Hiddleston became Rober Sheehan, and let me tell you, it stuck. And it stuck so bad there is no way I could see Tom as anything other than Rob. Especially with his role as Klaus in Umbrella Academy having a rather similar personality in the entire open-minded spectrum that he’s got going on. And, talking about teasers, this boy is actually going to be a key point on the romance between our golden throuple to develop, so keep an eye out for him. I love him so much tbh.  

Then we’ve got Beth Doxon, this girl is my wifey, I freaking love Beth so much and if you’ve been paying attention you may already know who I based her off, at least in looks. It’s Anya Taylor Joy as Beth Harmon in Queen’s Gambit, redhead queen (can you tell I really, really like redheads?) . Also that’s why she has such a strong character, even if my Beth is a lot more of a Party Animal than the original character. 

Alexander Wood in my head is just a carbon copy of his son Oliver, but in Hufflepuff, and the rest of the Quidditch teams, I’ve got a good idea of what they look like in my head, but not really a fan cast for them. Suggestions accepted. 

Well, except for Minho Yun, since his role in the story is going to be as a pretty strong supporting character, in fact, he was meant to be somewhat of an alt love interest that was going to help build Sirius’ jealousy, but in the end, I decided to completely scrap that to further develop him as a character. Some interesting things that you’ll actually learn on the GC Halloween special. Oh, and Minho is actually based on Sang Heon Lee (on looks) and Ki Hong Lee (on character, specifically on his role in Maze Runner). Had I based Minho on the character of Sang Heon Lee who inspired him, we would have way too many slutty boys in the same room, with Tom and Sirius and him, It’d be chaos, which is why he ended up being a little shier. 

Nox, Neil and Todd, literally are just Nox, Neil and Tod from De*d Poets Society. I was rewatching the movie to nail that boy friend group interactions and to get in the Dark Academia Vibes and I wanted to give my boys a happy ending. 

Also Neil just gives me the most massive Prongs vibe I cannot.

And lastly, there’s Nina Blythe. Nina to me is a totally angelic girl, I’ve got a very vivid picture of what she looks like in my head but I don’t really have a fancast for her. Maybe a little bit like Aurora (the singer), in regards to her soft features, but Nina has longer hair and it’s a little wavy. I kind of think of her as a girl from a Renaissance painting, emphasis on girl, since she is supposed to look younger than she is. Any ideas for a fancast? For her and for anyone I missed, I’m completely open to your suggestions. 

THE TEACHERS

Professor Nightshade is definitely Eva Green from Miss Peregrine or Jessica Chastain from Crimson Peak. She’s got that tall,  regal and dark but elegant vibe to her that is just so freaking gorgeous and awe-inspiring. I totally have a crush on Seraphina, can you tell? 

Professor Aurelius Spellman is kind of inspired by Kingsley Shackelbolt. However, if I had to cast someone for the role it would be Djimon Hounsou, he has that attractive and rough vibe to him. Like scary, demanding but also alluring things going on, he’s just got the magician type I suppose. 

This one’s going to be silly, but I can’t imagine Kettleburn as anyone other than Gobber the Belch from HTTYD, like, take away the horned helmet and give him a pointy hat, and boom, Kettleburn ladies and gentlemen. Down to the messy personality, honestly. 

And Donovan Pendragon (the teacher for Magical Theory) I feel like he isn’t mentioned enough, because I literally had no idea what his name was even going to be and I just left a line for it until I was editing the chapter before posting. So he doesn’t really have a cast. He’s caucasian in my head, but that’s about all I’ve got from him. Any ideas? 

Do you have any headcanons for any of the characters and their relationship that you haven’t talked about in the story? 

REMUS: Well I feel like this one has been talked about several times in the story but Remus being a beast in bed? I feel like everyone loves to tease him about it in the castle but to me, he’s also a total soft boy? Like especially the first time, I feel like he’s going to be so overwhelmed by both Sirius and Reader that he will basically just melt in the hands of his lovers. 

SIRIUS: Smitten little puppy of my life. 

SIRIUS AND REMUS: They’ve totally kissed in the past. At least once, and Remus still dreams about it. Sirius, well… maybe he’ll get some memories of it every now and then.

READER: My girl thinks she’s so freaking smart and yet is the most oblivious to her own feelings; she could be considered an idiot. She’s also so selfless it hurts, but like literally. Also, she loves flirting with Sirius way too much. Still, they definitely will need Rem in their relationship because there is no self-preservation sense when her personality is just as chaotic as our Puppy. Side note: Remus will 100% blush when she starts flirting with him in the same way he does with Sirius. And let’s not talk about what a tomato he will be when Sirius does it as well. 

PETER: He kinda disliked the reader at first, especially since he felt like she was taking away his friends, but eventually he warmed up to her, and loves their friendship. 

LILY: She enjoyed the kiss with Reader, and it made her realize she’s totally bi, because she also enjoyed the kiss with James. 

TOM: My boy is clever as hell and he knows a lot more than he lets on. Also, he secretly ships the golden throuple. 

BETH: She’s Tom’s bestie and she knows a lot of things too. She will also ignite chaos with the ultimate goal of being Gryffindor Tower’s own cupid. Do you think what happened at Marlene’s Party was a coincidence? 

REGG: My beautiful Reggie is still sad about the incident. He’s still trying to find a way to reconnect with you and it pains him that you think he’d rat you out. Even then, he values the fact that you are with Sirius and that you’re helping him through everything that’s been going on, especially since he saw how red Sirius’s eyes were when he left the Black’s house with a trunk in hand sobs stuck in his throat. Reg cried like a baby that night, just wishing for time to go by as fast as possible so he could go back to school and see his big brother again. (I’m so sorry for that guys).

MINHO: Has a secret crush and you would not believe me if I told you who it was. 

NINA: Has a secret crush and some of you have probably already guessed who it is. 

DAMOCLES: You don’t know him yet but omg he’s just so clever, thank you Kles for existing.

And let's be honest, I totally have a bunch more of this but I think this is way more than enough, for now…

Out of all the chapters so far, what’s been your favorite?

This is too fucking hard to decide. But If I had to choose my top three, and in no order in particular, I’d say, for the released ones:  

Fooled around and Fell in Love

Because, can we talk about the kiss scene? I feel like this one will come back bite my kiddos in the back so they finally realize what they actually fucking need. 

Do Ya 

I’m a total sucker for Sirius, what can I tell ya? But also the flying scenes were so much fun to write, totally an adventure to go through, still among my favs. 

Maybe I’m amazed 

“Do you like Golf?” 

From the unreleased episodes: 

Tonight’s What It Means To Be Young

The calm before the storm. Or is it the storm before the storm? 

Bad Moon Rising 

The FUCKING storm. But also one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I think I like action scenes a little too much.

*** On The Run

The storm continues. But also, the calm after the storm.

Do you have a playlist that you always listen to when you're writing? 

Not a specific playlist, but I have been listening to a lot of ‘70s rock. Things like Queen, Bowie, Boston, Foreigner,  Kansas, Fleetwood Mac, Nazareth, The Police and some others. All of them help me get in the mood for writing. At least in the mood of the era, if that makes sense.

Aside from the ’70s classics, I’ve also been listening to a lot of Lord Huron, Hozier, and Aurora (I sort of discovered her recently and I’m obsessed with some of her songs). Also some of The Killers, Dotan and Vian Izak sprinkled here and there. Bastille and Imagine Dragons are always and forever so of course they wouldn’t be missing from my list. 

But when I’m struggling, like really struggling with writing, then I go to this Best Instrumental playlist, where they have everything from the Narnia and Peter Pan 2003 soundtracks to Vivaldi and Ghibli.  It really does help with the concentration. 

How long for the guys to understand that they fancy each other? 

Well, when you say the guys do you mean Sirius and Remus? ‘Cause then it’s not thaaaaaat far away from now. Now from then to them all dating, well…

I know Remus kind of struggles with feelings, and probably even more now that Sirius and the reader are together. But when he's gonna say "hey, can I come in?" 😏 lol I just want them together so baaaad!

Ahahahahahaha, Well that’s not exactly how it’s gonna go, but it’ll happen sometime after Christmas.

After wolfstar and the reader get together, the fic will end? or we're gonna have a lot of them together to compensate for the agony? 🥺

I’m not sure about the ending yet, but I’m definitely going to add so much fluff of the three of them together that you’re all gonna get cavities. Also, I’ve been writing The 5 Senses and the Halloween special (that might be finished until after Halloween) to practice for the spice, so I’m def compensating for the agony. 

Also, I kind of want to explore the social implications of being in a throuple, of making that public in the `70s. Seems like a whole lotta issue bringer that kinda interests me… Sorry, you’re not completely getting rid of the angst even when they’re all together. 

I don’t remember if I already asked you about this, but as a Regulus’ wife, I need to know. He'll come back, right? She will talk with him and he will be able to explain everything to her? I need this, I really need this! I can leave without this closing. THEY NEED TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN!

Your husband is safe with me. I promise. I’m not gonna say it’s gonna be very soon, but he will be safe because I love baby Reggie and I too can’t stand him being mistreated either. 

Not a question. I just want to say that I really love this story. It's one of my favorites, and I just put it on my masterlist for how much I love it.

Aww shut up, I love you so much <3

Will we have some Sirius jealousy? ‘Cause I'm really interested in that. Oooh... will he notice that Reader and Remus are... more than friends before they even know it? I dunno, he's just oblivious about everything around him. 

Funny that you ask, yes we will have a lot of Jealous!Sirius, in fact, it’s a huge part of how the throuple will develop. And you will have it so soon, even if it’s not exactly what you expect it to be. I can’t wait for next week!

And in regards to noticing, well… Sirius is not going to be the most oblivious about his own feelings in this story. I mean… not always.

Are there any particular scenes or moments in your story that were especially fun or challenging to write?

Well, I’m actually finding it a lot harder to write stuff atm, so I’d say the limbo between the Bad Moon Rising Arch and the next big thing that’s going to happen has been the hardest. Especially since I’m already going to get to a key point in which some shit is going to go down and I’m still not sure how bad and angsty I want to make it. Don’t worry, our golden throuple will be alright but…

In regards to fun, I must say the parties are some of my favorites, Potion Pong was incredibly fun to write ‘cause I literally transported myself to it and it was like actually living it, even if it was in my head. Also the flying scenes, they’re always fun to write, the race was incredible tbh. 

I love to write the fun banter and the teasing too, it brings me joy. But I bet you could tell I’m one for the teasing from the very first chapters of Gilded Constellations. 

Nina fancies Reader, right? She does. I just need a yes. I already know that 😌 

( ≖‿  ≖ )

Can you share any behind-the-scenes trivia or Easter eggs that readers might not have noticed in your story?

I feel like there’s a lot of behind-scenes I shared so far but I guess I could share a few pics of my organization systems. Things like…

Your schedule: 

The cover:

Some of you have already been theorizing about it too, you can look at some of those theories over here, and here, and also here.

Alt Covers I designed but weren't chosen:

Something you might not know:

GC is also available on Wattpad and AO3. The AO3 chapters usually drop like 30 minutes or an hour before Tumblr because it's easier to post there. And the Wattpad releases are actually way behind in comparison (there isn't much engagement over there).

Some Shots of my Plot notebook (0 spoilers): 

And also, have you noticed the special little thing in the names of the chapters? 10 housepoints to whoever notices

I just thought of this, but what if we make a little housepont system and from things that you guys guess of the story you get housepoints and then we have a houseprice in the end? OMG I'd love to do this, if you're on tell me your house in the comments. So far Sytherin would have like 40 points just beacuse of dear @cometsghost and I'm not sure what is @blacksgarden house but they would also have like 40 pts.

How do you stay motivated and inspired to keep writing, especially in moments when you might experience writer's block?

It may or may not be healthy, but I just force myself to type? I never really have writer’s block, rather I’d call it writer’s overload. It’s when I’m running through so many possibilities in my head and I can’t pick which is the one I want to go through with. So I keep thinking about it and I don’t type. Which is why I just force myself to type, more often than not I’ll end up writing something I really like. 

And as for the motivation, honestly just getting to see my boys again. To be able to submerge back into Hogwarts, that’s enough motivation. I seriously get an urge to go back because I miss them. It's kinda crazy. Like I might be chilling at home and suddenly the thought “I wish I was at Hogwarts” crosses my mind, not even joking. 

The other motivation is finishing my book so I can get a printed version to place in my bookshelf and show it off. Not that anyone would know what it is, but I’d know, which is enough, hehe. And also to be a better writer, they say you should write every single day, which is kind of what I’m attempting to do with GC. By writing a chapter every week, I literally force myself to write every single day, even if just a couple of words. 

Can we have cute moments with Remus? uuuh, Will he be cute when she notices that she really likes him?

Yes! We can have all the cute moments with Remus. Even before they all notice they’re into each other, we’re gonna have so many cute moments because even if Reader is dating Sirius I can’t leave my beautiful boy on the sidelines. Besides, how can I torture him if he doesn’t get a taste of how good it would be to be with them? 

What can readers look forward to in the next chapters, and do you have any long-term plans or goals for GCs development?

Angst. Don’t hate me for this. But also comfort, and some fun little adventures and then a bit more angst, hehe…

Well, that’s the end of the questions I got sent ahead. Hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of a Q&A. If you have any more, or if my answers have provoked further questions, then by all means, share them with me, I’d love to be able to interact with you a bit more. 

Love ya, Lily xx

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

TAGLIST: @rayrlupin @callmelovergirl @warcelia @ireneop @endversewinchester @moonyunebi @smuttysluttybitch @mazzymoons @drugs-for-memes @sofiacblair @vmpir3lvr @remuslupinisbae @rabluver @willgrahamisalesbi4n @thatobsessedreader @orkwardx0  @itskailey24 @hell0-kittie @belovedmoony @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @cassie-love20 @starchaser-lily @zucchini-queenie @springflwer07 @sseleniaa @cometsghost @orkwardx0 @imdoingbetternow  @sbrewer21 @remuslupinsbae @maxinehufflepuffprincess @wifiatthetrainstation @unstablereader

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Raead more Marauders Fiction

[jellystarsdrops]

― Spider and the Moon // Chapter 2 ₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡

currently playing: awkward by sza

synopsis:  Uncle James suggests to Jefferson that Miles should work part-time at the roller skating rink to have some fun this summer. Miles reluctantly agrees, hoping to get on Lunella’s good side and not have a totally terrible vacation. Alas, it seems like trouble’s brewing in the city, and the two might have to become closer than they thought. . .

word count: 2087

ao3 link: 🌔🕷

a/n: this took wayyy longer than it should so I apologize for that! I got busy over the summer with a summer class and work (っ- ‸ - ς). Hopefully, I'll get into the flow with updating more frequently. Anyway, here's chapter 2! Shoutout to @sweeteaas with helping me with this chapter! You guys should check out their works!!^^ also kudos to my gf for being my beta reader :3 <3

“Okay Miles, right here is where all the skates are! We try and clean them every other closing night, although when we’re especially swamped…” Miles tried to pay attention, but Uncle James voice was fading out into a boring jumble of words. Sighing, Miles stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and tried to look as interested as possible when his Uncle glanced back at him with a grin.

Miles had gotten the news that he’ll be working at the roller skating this morning and was immediately whisked into taking a tour of the building. The rink itself was pretty impressive, he had to admit, with glowing neon lights and fluorescent decorations making a colorful display. The funky disco music drowned out the sound of skates on the rink floor, as multiple groups of kids and adults alike were crowded inside. It was summer after all, and the rink was a popular hangout spot in the community. 

Despite the energetic display, Miles couldn’t help but feel put-off and uncomfortable. His interaction with Lunella just yesterday afternoon was itching at him. Why did she seem so annoyed at him? What was with that look? 

The fact that he was now set to work with Lunella for the summer would be a challenge, put lightly.

Despite everything with Lunella, Miles decided to look on the bright side of things. Although he’d rather be inside working on his sketches or playing some video games, the thought of his relatives owning a roller rink was pretty cool since it was the only one in the town. Plus, the job didn’t seem too hard, he'd just have to clean the rollerskates as people came in and he could pretty much chill! This can’t be that bad, it’s only for the summer.

Miles looked through his playlist on his phone, playing a song and putting in an earbud before he started cleaning the skates with a slight hum. It wasn’t too busy surprisingly. Just a group of kids and some families, though it would probably get more busy when it starts getting cooler at night. As he cleaned, he looked up to see Lunella walking into the skating rink. Looking around she would notice Miles, freezing for a moment before walking up to him behind the skate counter.

“...What are you doing here?” the girl asked, surprised to see him at the place she worked. This was the first time Lunella had spoken more to Miles since he got here.

“Well, Uncle James told my dad that it would be a great idea for me to work here part-time… so now I’m here,” Miles explained, looking down at Lunella and studying her expression. He didn’t think Lunella would work here, though now thinking about it, he was now starting to remember Uncle James telling him that Lunella does maintenance on the machines or something like that, but by her expression and frown alone, she wasn’t too happy knowing that Miles would be working this her.

After Lunella stared at him for a moment, she let out an almost annoyed sigh as she put a hand on her hip. She tried to put on her best smile even though Miles could tell that it was fake. “Peachy…” She muttered through her teeth before sighing again, taking her backpack off her shoulder.  “Just stay out of my way.” Lunella told Miles before walking away from the counter.

Miles watched as Lunella leave, he shook his head as he continued to clean. As he did so, his mind would keep wandering to the girl. Why is she so rude to him? ‘ They literally just met the other day. He can’t be that annoying when people first met him?’ Miles thought to himself. ‘Well… Miguel did but that was different!’

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After about half an hour of cleaning skates and handing guests their right skate size, Miles would be done. The rink started to die down, so he was pretty much done until more people started coming in for whatever event was happening tonight. Sighing as he rested his elbows on the counter, he started staring off into space and waiting for the time to go by.

That’s when an idea would pop up in his head: This is a good time for me to bond with Lunella since it’s practically dead in here. 

Moving away from the counter, Miles walked around the rink to look for Lunella where she would be found behind the popcorn machine. It seemed like she was trying to fix it or something like that, Miles knew little to nothing about machines but he was surprised someone as young as Lunella would be into things like that.

Miles waited for a moment, trying to hype himself to speak up and say something to Lunella but his mind was going blank. ‘Why am I freezing up?? She’s like 5 years younger than me! This is sad,’ he rambled on in his mind before his thoughts were interrupted by Lunella clearing her thoughts.

“Are you just going to stand there or is there a reason you came over here?” Lunella asked annoyed, sitting up from the machine as she looked up at Miles. She didn’t have time for this.

Miles huffed a bit, putting on the best smile he could come up with at the girl before speaking. “So!... Machines… I didn’t think someone like you would be good with tools,” he exclaimed, trying to make conversation with his cousin and get to know her.

Lunella raised her eye, pushing up her blue frames. “Should'nt you be behind the counter cleaning skates?” she questioned him.

“It’s dead as hell in here, I think the skates will be fine,” he chuckled. 

She rolled her eyes before opening her mouth. “Is it a problem that I like fixing things instead of liking what? Dolls and boys?” Lunella accused Miles, answering his statement.

Miles immediately waved his hands around to defend from her accusations, shaking his head. “No no no that’s not what I meant at all! I just didn’t expect it! I think it's kinda cool and really impressive that you’re good at that stuff!” he explained. “I can hardly put a vacuum together and you’re over here fixing a machine!”

Lunella was completely caught off guard, having a surprised expression on her face before looking away as she put some tools back in her bag and took another out. “..Thanks..” she muttered softly, clearly embarrassed by the sudden compliment. 

Noticing Lunella’s embarrassed expression. He couldn’t help but smile a little at her trying to not to seem happy about his compliment and keep her unfazed attitude. He found it almost cute and it was a sign that he was breaking into her tough shell a little bit. He just has to keep budging her. 

Clearing his throat, Miles decided to keep talking to her. “So what does Lunella Lafayette like?” he asked, tilting his head a bit. He was trying to learn as much as he could so they would get long during the summer.

“Well…” Lunella starts off, trying to think while she continues to fix the machine. She wasn’t planning to talk to anyone today and just work but Lunella knew that he wasn’t going to leave until she talked. “Other than this… I like science stuff… Reading, roller derby, video games… Superheroes are pretty cool I guess.

As soon as ‘Superheroes’ came out of Lunella’s mouth, Miles’s eyes lit up. That just gave him a better idea to ask her. 

“Superheroes huh? Cool, cool me too… SO! What do you think of that Spiderman guy in Brooklyn? Pretty cool that we have a superhero in New York, right?” he asked with a smirk on his face, knowing damn well that he was gassing himself up.

“Spiderman? If your definition of cool is ‘a huge loser’,” Lunella says so bluntly, not even turning her head from her work. “I don’t get the hype, he isn’t that cool.”

Miles felt like he was just punched in the face.

He never met a kid or anyone who didn’t think that he- Spiderman was cool. 

“What?! He is not a loser!” Miles choked, trying his hardest not to sound defensive. “He saved a bunch of people and is a g-great part of the community!”

Lunella would almost choke on a laugh, covering her mouth so she could hold it back. “Oh really now?? Yeah right with a lame suit- is he bleeding out his armpits?”

“He’s NOT bleeding out his armpits! It’s a stylistic CHOICE!”

The amount of times he heard that comment Miles swore that he was going to commit a crime himself. The boy was trying his best not to sound crazy or give too much away but he just had to defend himself.

Lunella stared at Miles for a second in silence, not saying anything, just looking as if she was studying. He started to sweat, fidgeting with his fingers a bit nervously. 

‘She… She doesn’t know, does she…? I mean she seems smart but is she smart enough to know-’

“Listen, I really don’t have the time to listen to some Spiderman fanboy,” Lunella huffed, pushing up her blue frames as she talked. “SOOO, I’d really would appreciate it if you’d leave me alone and let me get back to work...” The girl says before returning to work on the inside of the popcorn machine.

Miles stopped his rambling thoughts when he heard Lunella telling him to go away basically. He still didn’t understand it. He has to spend the whole summer with this girl and he wasn’t going to let her bratty attitude ruin this. “Man, what is your problem?” he huffed frustratedly, trying his best not to let his annoyance get the best of him.

Lunella would snap her head up to look at Miles, hearing the frustration in his voice and it was starting to make her own blood boil. “What the heck are you talking about??” She questioned him, crossing her arms and now focused on him.

“I’m talking about you being so cold! I’ve only been here for a day and so far you have been nothing but rude as hell to me!” Miles criticized her, finally speaking about what’s been on his mind since he got to Manhattan. Based on Lunella’s reaction, she didn’t seem too happy about Miles confronting her.

“I’m not being rude first of all! I’m simply stating that I don’t want you bothering me!”

Miles rolled his eyes. “Please, you haven’t been doing anything important! You’ve only been a pretentious brat.”

That would tick something off in Lunella, getting up from the ground where she previously was and staring up at Miles due to their height difference, her fist clenched as it was very clear on her face that she was fuming now. “I’m NOT pretentious OR a BRAT!” Lunella growled, a light shade of red being present on her face. She had been called worst before, but brat was where she drew the line.

“Call me a brat again… I dare you.”

Miles’s frustrated expression remained on his face, not changing an inch. He wasn’t going to take this, he was the oldest after all so he thought he deserved some kind of respect. He bent down a little to Lunella’s height, looking dead into her eyes as if they were having a staring contest.

“You… Are… A… Br-!”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a loud commotion coming from outside as people started to flood into the roller rink screaming in a panic. This would put a pause into the two’s argument. As James and Adria were trying to settle everyone down and get them to relax, both Miles and Lunella rushed over to the nearest window to see what was going on.

Outside the rink, a villain was causing some type of havoc in the neighborhood. He laughed menacingly, practically destroying everything in sight with some bags of cash attached to his back. Seems like he had gone to the bank before causing some chaos for fun.

Now this is what Miles needed. Some action for his summer.

“Uhhh I’m going to goooo help Uncle James right quick– I think he’s calling me or something!” Miles shouted out before Lunella could get a word in. 

Running to the back of the roller rink, Miles changed out of his clothes, revealing the black and red spider suit. With the final piece being his mask, Miles swung into action.

[clonedchaos]

💛 𝔐𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔐𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰- 𝔇𝔞𝔶 1: 𝔑𝔬𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔤𝔦𝔞 🖤

Acknowledgements:

Well, here we are! Sorry I’m late to this event! Dang, it's been ages since I've written for Bendy content on any of my socials... So, I wanted to preface this fic by saying that Eclipse and A Small Bit of Kindness aren't going anywhere, I promise. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, feel free to skip to the next paragraph or first chapter below the cut) There has been a lot going on these past few months and I'll talk more about it once those stories update. I'm not done with Bendy content-- far from it actually! I just have a bit of a hard time focusing on one specific story for too long or I get burnt out. So, as an apology, I'm doing Ink Demonth from Tumblr to try and get the gears turning again. Nothing too long or too big, just short little snippets-- that is of course unless I get super invested on a prompt and get carried away. Given my track record, I'm definitely not promising this will be done in one month; I'd be lucky to get it done in two! 

And, as an added note, I'm dedicating Machine Memories to my best online friend @mister-magic. Thanks for sticking around so long, especially given how bad I am at updating things and have a habit of bouncing back and forth through fandoms. It really means a lot that you think I'm a good writer, even if most days I don't feel like I am. Taking the time to chat with me or let me ramble about my interests even if for a few moments has done a lot for me. So, thank you. (And go check out his work if you haven't, he's very talented!) :3

And I'm also dedicating it to those that know me from my other Batim fics and are still curious to know what comes next despite another unforeseen hiatus on new chapters. The support really does mean the world to me and keeps pushing me forward, and I wish so much that I could keep up with updating. I feel awful for not updating things for like 5-6 months...

Anyhow enough with the rambling, I hope you enjoy! I'm excited to see all the Ink Demonth has to offer! And go check out halfusek on Tumblr, they're hosting this event! <3

<- Previous Part Next Part ->

Summary:

Audrey takes a break from the hustle and bustle of work to unwind at her local park. Familiar sights and smells just might dredge up a few recollections of her past...

Rating: G/PG

A park bench in the sun was the perfect place for Audrey to stretch her legs. She had gotten out of bed bright and early and eager to start the day, unaware of what disaster awaited her the moment she stepped into Archgate.

“Audrey, did you send those panels to Richard? He’s been on my case all morning” this, “Audrey, would you be a dear and take this to the writer’s department?” that. Audrey didn’t quite understand why these multitude of tasks were being thrust upon her— unless it stemmed from her desire to help her coworkers. She had been in a jam on more than one occasion, whether that be due to art block or struggling with looking at a scene through a different perspective. The least she could do was return the favor to aid her department.

She hadn’t realized how exhausted she was until she quite literally collapsed into her chair. The magnitude of leftover panels she had to complete by the deadline formed a miniature mountain on her desk. Audrey sighed a weary exhale. Well, she’d better get to work.

To her utter surprise Nathan Arch popped his head in thirty minutes later, claiming he was checking up on how the new episode was coming along. All bright eyed with a warm smile, that’s how he always greeted his employees.

Audrey stiffened— she had barely gotten through a fourth of her work! Nathan scrutinized her menial pile, then glanced to her flushed cheeks and slumped shoulders. Was he going to be disappointed in her presumed lack of work ethic?

Mr. Arch just guffawed with a rosy cheeked smile. “My, Audrey. You seem like you could use a breather.”

And that’s how Audrey had ended up lounging on a park bench during work hours. The sunshine warmed her skin, coupled with a pleasant breeze that tickled her cheeks. She sneezed. The flowers were in full bloom this time of the season, which irritatingly meant pollen was out in full force.

A small group of kids ran past her, kicking a soccer ball between themselves. It was a whirlwind of chatter, rapid movements, and lots of excitement.  

Audrey’s gaze slowly observed the scenery before her, absorbing all its sights and sounds. A couple a few feet away stood with arms linked as they observed the rows of flowers lining the sidewalk. The man plucked a vibrant daisy and set it in his lover's blonde hair. A squirrel skittered up a tree, bushy tail twitching to and fro as it searched for nearby predators.

"Mommy! Mommy look! A birdie!"

Audrey hypnotically turned her head, her mind not quite meeting with reality. A few feet away a woman was holding hands with a young girl. The child was adamantly tugging her mother towards the creature in question. With a terrified squawk, the raven beat its jet black wings and lifted into the sky.

The child was left distraught with tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. Her mother frowned sympathetically, reached down, and raised the girl up to sit on her hip. “Oh, honey. You have to be gentle…” Her soft voice faded as she strolled out of earshot.

Audrey could hear faint giggling as reality seemed to fall away before her. A faint inkling of a memory began to worm its way into the limelight.

She was here many years ago. She‘d walked this same path… with her father. Audrey closed her eyes. The sight was so vivid and palpable, as if she could reach out and touch the past.

”What’s that, papa?” She had asked, enraptured by a small cluster of drooping blue petals. Her heart had been alight with wonder— it was the first time she had been to a park before! So many new smells, faces, activities, and sights just waiting for her in such a small corner of the city.

”Ah. That’s a bluebell. Beautiful, isn’t it?” Her father rumbled as he crouched down in front of the patch. He lifted one of the flowers with a finger. "Don't worry, it's healthy. This is just how they grow."

"Blue is my favorite color!" Audrey had bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. In the present, she wished things were as simple as they were back then-- when the only troubles she had were trying to pick a favorite color without "making the other colors jealous".

Now... Now things were different. Her father-- if she could even call him that anymore-- wasn't the man she thought she had known throughout her childhood. Audrey wrung her hands in her lap as she moved her gaze to stare at the concrete below. Her heart ached with longing for the simpler times. Her life was more than a mess, it was quite literally a disaster.

She missed their occasional walks in the park. She missed their daily breakfast collaboration-- Audrey had once accidentally got a pancake stuck on the ceiling one morning, prompting her father to let her stick to mixing the batter. When storms brewed outside and lightning sent her scrambling out of bed in a panic, she had always found solace with her father. Even though she knew she shouldn't... she missed him.

Audrey looked up at a small flock of birds winging south. A gentle breeze brushed her cheeks again. Despite the bittersweet recollections, Audrey wasn't despondent over the present. Though she had lost her father, she had gained a new family; one that was seeming to grow more and more every time she stepped into the Ink realm.

Henry was always a good level-headed friend she could vent her problems out to; reliable too. Allison was adept at making her way through the labyrinth of hallways and was always up for a good sparring match to sharpen Audrey's skills. Tom was a bit brash and gruff, but she knew the wolf meant well. Heidi and Porter were always a delight to see, and they loved pulling Audrey into various shenanigans and pranks they wanted to set up around the studio.

But the one person whom she felt she made the most progress with so far was the Ink Demon himself. He had taken to rooming with Audrey in her apartment whenever he grew tired of the Ink Realm. The demon wasn't exactly the easiest roommate, nor was he always friendly-- he kind of reminded Audrey of a stray cat learning to grow accustomed to the indoors. But he had certainly come a long way; he wasn't trying to kill her for starters.

They were both made by Joey Drew via the Ink Machine. So in a way, that meant they were kin. She had lost her father but gained a brother.

Hmm…

Perhaps the Ink Demon would appreciate a scene like this, whether he would admit to it or not. The memories she held of her father, as tainted as they might be now, it was part of her history. It helped make her into the young woman she was today; one that was adamant on looking towards a brighter future.

Maybe it was finally time to make some new memories...

[forget-you-morelike-fuck-you]

Heartwork- E.M. Pt. 8

You get another call from a long lost friend.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 9 - Epilogue Masterlist

TW- Cursing, mentions of cheating, a bit angsty, pining

Pairings- Eddie X Reader

Word Count- 1,773

(Gif not mine, credit to owner!)

The next several days are spent lonely. Work and home, that’s it for you, except the dozens of calls to Eddie trying to talk. There’s a lot of worrying, a lot of crying, and a lot of missing Eddie. 

Maybe he didn’t think you wanted to kiss him? Maybe he didn’t really want to kiss you? Maybe it’s something else entirely... You want to know so bad what happened that night, but the only one who can tell you is avoiding you like the plague.  

As a week of not hearing from Eddie approaches, you sit on your couch, staring out your window. Another thing you’ve been doing a lot this week. You don’t know if it’s just to pass the time or if you’re hoping that Eddie spontaneously shows up with an explanation and an apology. Let’s be real, it’s probably the latter.  

Work is a good distraction. You pore over credit statements and numbers day after day, fixing problems and finding better solutions, turning it into a game. Numbers don’t lie. Numbers don’t leave you wondering what you did wrong.  

You get a call Friday from your mom, asking you to come to dinner, and you oblige, telling her that “No, Eddie won’t be joining me this time.” 

Through dinner, your parents can tell something’s wrong, but they don’t push it. Instead, they try to make conversation to help distract you. “Y/N,” your dad says, cutting through a piece of meatloaf. “We got a call last week from Y/BFF/N. She was looking for you. Did you get to talk to her?” You look between your plate and your dad. You try to think of a good excuse as to why you haven’t talked to her without airing out Eddie’s dirty laundry.  

“No, I didn’t even know she called. My answering machine broke last week. Took a few days to get it fixed,” you explain. 

“Oh,” he says. “Well, she gave us her new phone number. I’ll give it to you and you can call her. I’m sure she’d love to speak to you after so long.” You nod at that, giving a small, tight smile. The dinner table is quiet again for a few minutes before your mom gives it a go. 

“Well, how’s Eddie? I’m sure you two have been having a lot of fun in this weather. What have you been up to? Any rock shows in town worth seeing?” You grit your teeth, trying to keep calm. You appreciate your parents trying to pull you out of your bad mood, but God damn are they doing a terrible job at it. 

“Um, no. We’ve been busy this week at the bank. I haven’t gotten to go out.” You manage to sound mostly casual, though you’re sure your parents can see through it. They’ve always been good at reading you like an open book. “But I’m sure we’ll get together again soon.” You can feel your parents giving each other a look, communicating about you without speaking as they have since you were young, but you ignore it in favor of focusing on your dinner. 

The rest of the evening goes by without having to talk about Eddie or Y/BFF/N or any other touchy subject at the moment, which you’re grateful for, and you finally drive back home in silence. You can’t even listen to music right now without thinking of Eddie. Not that you weren’t already.  

When you get back home, you park yourself at your spot on the couch once again, staring out the window, thinking of Eddie when the phone starts ringing. You practically sprint over to the phone, picking it up to put the receiver to your face, hopeful that Eddie will be on the other side. 

“Y/N?” Your smile falters. It’s not Eddie... It’s Y/BFF/N.  

“Y/BFF/N? Oh, um, hi.” You don’t know what to say.  

“Hey,” she says. You can hear her smile on the other side, and you give a sad smile of your own. “How are you? I’ve been thinking about you lately.”  

“Oh, I’m- I’m good. I guess you heard from my parents that I moved back to Hawkins,” you muse, chewing the inside of your mouth. You’re going to have to tell her that you know what she did. You didn’t ask if Eddie had already told her, but you guess not if she’s called you again. 

“Yeah! That’s so great. I’ll have to come see you next time I come to see my parents,” Y/BFF/N suggests, making your brow furrow. Would you even want to see her? Would Eddie see it as a betrayal? 

“Yeah, maybe...” You don’t want to give a definite answer, but you also don’t want to come off as cold. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. My answering machine was broken last week and I’ve been waiting on a part to get it fixed.” 

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m just excited you answered this time. I didn’t know if you would. Your parents told me you’ve been, um, hanging out with Eddie. I don’t know what he told you, but I hope you can believe that I did what I did for good reason.” You let out a sigh, eyes floating up to the ceiling as you form your reply. 

“Y/BFF/N, all I will say is that I don’t want to get involved. I don’t want to pick sides. You were my best friend for years. But Eddie is my best friend now.” You try to sound firm, but you can’t help but remember the state Eddie was in when he called you that day after talking to her. His bloodshot eyes as he sank, defeated, into your sofa when he arrived. 

The line is quiet for a moment before you hear her take a breath. “I- I understand. Eddie was... is a good man. He just didn’t understand what I wanted.” She tries to explain. Your face scrunches in confusion, and annoyance laces your voice as you reply. 

“Didn’t he give up the band for you? And quit doing Hellfire? And buy a sensible car? And get a sensible job?” 

“Well, yes, but-” 

“But what? It wasn't enough? But Jason Carver and his rich, stick-up-their-asses parents are? Don’t you remember the hell that Jason put us through in high school?” The anger builds in your voice. Any chance for a cordial conversation is gone now. Screw not picking sides, you’ll pick Eddie’s every time after this sorry excuse of an explanation. 

“Y/N, it’s not like that anymore. Jason is so good to me. I love him more than I ever loved Eddie. I need you to believe me!” She sounds close to tears now, but you simply scoff. 

“Yeah, Y/BFF/N, I do believe you. And I also believe that that’s why you decided it was a good idea to fuck him in the same bed you and Eddie slept in instead of having the decency to break up with him before shacking up with the biggest asshole this town had to offer.” 

“But, Y/N-” 

“I’m not coming to your wedding, Y/BFF/N. Not after you broke my best friend’s heart. And just so you know, Eddie is the kindest, most amazing man I have ever met, and if I ever had the elite privilege of being loved by him, I would hold on to that love until the day I died. So, it’s your loss, really. Good luck with your life. Please, don’t call me again.” With that, you slam the phone back down onto the dock, practically shaking with rage. You let out a groan in frustration, pacing back and forth in your living room as you try to calm down. It’s such bullshit. Eddie deserved so much better. You wish you could show him how much better he deserves. Why does he have to keep avoiding you? If you knew where he lived, you could just show up there and demand to talk to him, but he’s never invited you over. 

You stop pacing as a thought comes to mind. Eddie may not answer his phone, but someone else might. Your eyes dart to the box of mementos in the corner that your mom gave you last weekend at dinner and go over to it, moving things out of the way until you find what you’re looking for. 

Your sophomore yearbook. You flip it over and open the back cover, your eyes scanning over the messages from former classmates until you find the one you’re looking for. “Hey loser, I know I’ll see you later but I wanted to write in here anyway just in case I get abducted by aliens or something. X- Ed.” Beneath the chicken scratch of his handwriting is his phone number. You remember asking for it because you kept losing it when he would write it on sticky notes. You go over to the phone with the yearbook in hand and dial the number, hoping Eddie’s uncle still lives there. After a few rings, a gruff voice sounds through the receiver. 

“Hello?” You let out a sigh of relief. It’s Wayne. 

“Hi, Mr. Munson? I don’t know if you remember me, my name’s Y/N L/N. I’m one of Eddie’s good friends from high school,” You explain. 

“Oh,” Wayne says, sounding much lighter than he did in his greeting. “Yeah, of course I remember you. What can I do for you, young lady?” You flounder, thinking of an excuse to ask what you want to ask. 

“Well, I, uh, I moved back to Hawkins recently and reconnected with Eddie, and he was over at my house last night and forgot his jacket. I was gonna return it today but I can’t find the paper he wrote his address on, and he’s not answering his phone. Can you give it to me?” You squint your eyes, hoping Wayne doesn’t think you’re some creepy stalker or something. 

“Yeah sure, get you a pen and some paper and I’ll let you write it down again,” You breathe a silent sigh of relief and get a pen to write down Eddie’s address.  

“Thank you, Mr. Munson. It’s so good to hear from you again!” You’re beaming at the success of your plan. 

“Any friend of Eddie’s is a friend of mine. You call me any time, sweetheart. You have a good night, now.” 

“Thank you! I will. You too, Mr. Munson.” As the line clicks off, you give yourself a small fist pump as you look at the address now written in your old yearbook. You waste no time gathering your essentials and walk toward the door.  

Time to go see Eddie. 

@corrodedcoffincumslut @haylaansmi @bebe07011

[sykosomatic]

So here is my third idea…a bit longer and darker but I hope you like it

So it starts right where part 2 ended…Evan and his new love interest are enjoying their food and flirting a little….Evan asks what brought reader over and asks semi seriously if he is that irresistible and gets a slight laugh in response

Evan then decides to play his answer machine and gets the same messages from the film as he admires his watch…reader is playing with the heating …..turning it and asks if he should be jealous Evan points out if he haven’t called them back no…

Reader comments how it’s getting really hot in here and maybe they need to cool off so they decide to head to the shower more flirting as they start to make out in the shower

Then they notice the temperature of the water starting to grow warmer and scalding …..they turning it off but it won’t work and the door is jammed…they start panicking/blaming each other as they desperately try to get out

Evan eventually smashes his way out by just shouldering the glass till it breaks ….later they are in Evans bedroom putting ice packs on each other as they apologise for turning on each other and they kiss with Evan asking what is happening Reader settles down with him on the bed and says he doesn’t know but he will find out

obvouvou;u they are going to stick together

what do you think ?

you've always got really creative ideas -- this fic would've been a one-shot without you lol -- let's see if you like the next installment! here we go--!

part 3 of evan lewis x male reader escaping death -- lovingly entitled 'luck of the draw' on ao3 --

cw: near-death experience, anxiety, making out, groping.

evan joined you at the little dining table, taking a seat and passing your food to you once it was all cooked. the entire little apartment smelled like rich, savory noodles; it was nice. this was the most at ease you'd felt since you'd met evan. that fact made you feel a little guilty. it wasn't as if you thought it was evan's fault, and you sure weren't gonna stop hanging out with him just over some silly superstitions you were having. you'd never been one to really believe in such things; but you couldn't deny the extreme relief you felt when you'd prevented whatever had been destined to happen. it gave you almost a sense of responsibility to stay and help him, to keep him safe from whatever power-that-be was hell-bent on hurting him. why evan, you found yourself thinking, of all people? and why you, sent to be his savior?

"so, uh…what brought you back here?" evan asked, after swallowing a bite of his food. he looked at you with an eyebrow raised. just as you were about to answer him and let him know about the strange feeling you'd been having, he smirked at you and continued speaking. "am i that irresistible?"

you laughed, rolling your eyes at his goofy expression. you decided to maybe bring up your weird feeling later. or maybe, not at all? after all you didn't even know if it was founded; maybe you were just having a weird week. maybe you needed to go back to that therapist you'd been seeing a while back.

"oh-- i forgot," evan said, reaching over and pressing a button on his answering machine. some messages from girls started to play, making you feel a little embarrassed. mainly for them; they sounded pretty desperate to get their hands on some of that money evan had just won from the lottery. you watched evan admire the watch he'd gotten the day before; fiddling with the latch as you stood up and cleared your throat awkwardly. you decided to busy yourself by absently messing with the thermostat, unable to find the remote to his tv and feeling that messing with your phone might've come off as rude.

"should i be jealous?" you asked evan, playfully, but also eyeing him a bit warily. he was a cocky guy, and the two of you hadn't said anything about being mutually exclusive just yet-- or ever, in that case. and he was entitled to do whatever he wanted, whether it be calling these women back or not.

"well, i mean, i haven't called them back yet, have i?" he pointed out. he finally looked up from his shiny new watch and looked over at you, reaching over to start deleting the messages. you grinned to yourself, turning the heat down a tad more. it had started getting a little hotter in the small apartment; it was freaking you out a bit. the thermostat said a cool 65 degrees fahrenheit once you were done messing with it. it shouldn't have felt so hot in there, right?

maybe you'd worked yourself up over evan's other potential lovers. you weren't really the jealous type; not outwardly, of course.

"hey, you wanna hop in the shower really quick?" you asked, crossing over to the dining table again. you put your arms around evan's shoulders from behind, leaning in and nibbling playfully on his ear. "it's getting kinda hot in here, don't you think? maybe we should cool off…" you said. you didn't boast about your flirting skills, that was for sure, but you thought you were charming enough. and evan evidently did too. he rolled his eyes, but there was definitely a grin on his face.

"you didn't even finish your food," he teased, though it didn't seem like he was all too concerned, after you'd just insinuated that he'd be getting lucky again. he stood from his chair and led you into the bathroom, the two of you flirtingly undressing each other on the way. there was a trail of clothes on the way to the bathroom, ending with the two of you standing by the shower. "i'm never gonna get tired of seeing that…" evan said playfully, eyeing your naked form beside him. he wrapped his arms around you, groping your ass and pulling you in for a kiss. you could feel yourself blush at the comment -- did that mean he wanted to keep seeing you? that maybe you'd be spending more time with him? you'd only known him for about a day, but he fascinated you, and you liked his goofy cockiness; it was surprisingly charming.

he turned around and started the water, leaning down and giving you access to return his groping. you grabbed his ass; it was really nice, you couldn't really tell that based on the clothes he wore, which made it all the better that you'd gotten to see it. and touch it, of course. he moaned as you massaged his ass and lower back. the water spritzed on, warm and steamy, inviting the two of you inside. the shower itself was a sort of glass box, with a door that swung open and clasped shut on the inside. it was the perfect size for the two of you to be intimately close in it together. the two of you clambered in, laughing as you bumped into each other while trying to get into comfortable positions. you ended up facing each other, a moment of thought before you both leaned in for a kiss.

the kiss deepened as the two of you started groping each other, becoming a full-on make-out session full of moaning and groaning. you broke away to bite on evan's neck, making him gasp out in surprise as you teeth scraped the delicate flesh just above his shoulder. "shit, wait, let me fix the temp real quick," evan grunted, pulling away from you, suddenly a bit agitated. you had to admit, the water was starting to get a little hot. he turned more cold on, but that didn't help. the water started getting hotter.

"are you turning the right knob?" you asked, hissing through your teeth as you felt the water start to sting the skin on your forearm. your arm was turning a bright, angry red as the water started to scald you.

"yes, i'm turning the right knob!" evan snipped at you, making you frown frustratedly at him. "i know which knob is cold, it's my apartment," he grumbled, turning both knobs now. it was clear he had been turning the right one; the water was just getting hotter by itself.

"maybe try turning it off?" you suggested, trying to scoot back away from the stream of boiling water. it had to be approaching something like 150 degrees at this point. you couldn't think straight, it was so hot. you were starting to panic, and you knew evan was too, but yours was starting to get intense. had you not avoided the thing that was supposed to hurt evan? and had you lumped yourself in with him? were the two of you going to die from third degree burns in this shower, trapped in the boiling water and choking on steam?

"i am trying to turn it off, man! i'm not stupid. why don't you try, if you're so smart?" evan snapped, shoving past you to trade you spots. now he was up against the glass wall of the shower, and he started to jiggle the clasp, trying to undo it. it was stuck. the two of you really were stuck, and if you didn't find a way out soon, it wasn't going to be pretty. "damn it, this is all your fault, you were the one who suggested getting in here in the first place… i bet you broke the stupid latch…"

"hey, don't get pissed off at me," you grouched back at him, angry that he was blaming you for something that clearly wasn't your fault. there were sinister things at play, here, working against you and evan and trying to harm you both now. "maybe if your apartment wasn't so hot, i wouldn't have wanted to get in here." you grumbled as the two of you worked on your tasks separately, faced away from each other. the heat of the water climbed in intensity so rapidly it was making you lightheaded. it had been all of three or four minutes that you'd been in there, and in just that time, the two of you had gotten agitated enough to blame each other for something that you at least knew wasn't anyone's fault. at this point it was clearly some sort of evil thing at play, here. you fiddled with the knobs desperately, evan messing with the latch, when in one quick second you heard a smashing sound behind you.

evan had busted through the foggy glass pane of the shower, shouldering it with all of his weight and smashing through it. cool air rushed in, already soothing your skin as you rushed out to him, stepping around glass and crouching down to where he lay on the floor amidst a bed of glass shards. the water sprayed on behind you, harmlessly flowing down the drain. steam curled up around you in the bathroom as you consoled evan, brushing glass off of him and pulling him up to his feet.

all animosity drained from the two of you as you looked into each other's eyes, safe from the boiling heat of the shower. "are you alright?" you asked him, gathering him in your arms and holding him close as the two of you mentally recovered from the ordeal you'd just been through.

"sorry i was being such an ass," evan said to you, softly, as you passed an ice pack and frozen peas back and forth to each other. he'd given you a spare pair of pajama pants and was wearing a pair himself as the two of you sat on his bed together. your head was swimming with all the things that had happened the past day; you barely heard him.

"it's okay. i was being an ass too -- it wasn't anybody's fault," you assured him, leaning in and kissing him on the lips. it was a gentle kiss, meant to be comforting. it seemed to have worked at least a little bit, but he was still a little worked up.

"maybe not, but.. what the hell was it, then? that shit doesn't just happen."

you sighed softly, biting on your lip. you knew that you'd been right all along, that the crazy-anxious feeling you'd been having was founded in some kind of truth. this wouldn't be the last time something like this happened. the pit in your stomach had started to return, and you had a feeling that it would be there for a while. you figured you better get used to saving evan's life, and he'd better get used to saving yours. you didn't know what the feeling meant exactly, other than the two of you would be being chased by death for a good while going forward. "i don't really know," you said, pausing. you thought about just brushing it off, keeping him in the dark for just a moment longer, letting him have that ignorant bliss. but it felt irresponsible. "but it feels… cosmic," you muttered, just in case he thought you were being crazy. but when you looked up at him, he was nodding slowly and thoughtfully. "and we'll figure it out. i'll get to the bottom of this, and we'll stop it," you promised, reaching over to hold his hand in your lap.

24-hour relationship or not, evan wasn't going to die, and neither were you. you were going to see to that.

[ghostlycorvid]

2023 Introspective

This year started with cutting off a toxic person who had already shut me out of mutual friend spaces but kept stringing me along with "maybe in a few more months I'll let you back in". 2022 was rough on its own, especially pre-antidepressants, but a huge part of it was stuff involving this person. Blocking them and finally accepting that it was not worth trying to repair what little relationship was left was the most freeing thing I've ever done and helped me to continue that with any other rude unpleasant individual I've had to share spaces with. It's been genuinely wonderful to realize I don't have to sit there and listen to bad takes or people who are needlessly mean, so I'm glad something came out of that friendship nightmare scenario.

It still took a lot of time to not sit there in anger and frustration spirals over the way things ended up, but in February I got permission from my bosses to bring my dog Chili to work with me due to needing to keep him and our other dog from playing while she was recovering from her spay. I ended up realizing that even though Chili is a huge anxiety baby, having him with me legitimately was helping distract me from negative thoughts spirals and gave me something positive to focus on when I was getting frustrated by work-related stuff in the moment. He ended up helping a couple coworkers come down from panic attacks later in the year too. My boss likes how "calm" he is enough that he gave me permission to bring Chili to work all the time (within reason), so he's come with me on most non-event days. His progress has been slow, but he's also been improving from the regular socialization!

I finally started to really focus on my own art and developing my own products and designs, both for my personal shop and for the shop at work. I've come out the other side of this year with 9 new enamel pin designs between the two! (A couple I haven't shared yet! ;D)

I was finally given an Adderall prescription which magically solved my problem where I couldn't stay awake during the day no matter how much sleep I'd gotten! And also it started helping me focus a little better too, but genuinely the non-sleepy thing was the most lifechanging part of the medication for me. The pit in my stomach when I was told that person felt like I was stalking and surveilling them if I was quiet in a call or stream despite years of me communicating that I was constantly struggling to even stay conscious was... HOO BOY. After years of fighting for my life to stay awake in college and sometimes even while DRIVING TO AND FROM WORK,,,,,,,, I really thought something was seriously wrong with me (besides the ADHD since I didn't realize it was a symptom of that)

With toxic people removed from my social spaces and general perception, I've finally started to join group calls with my friends again without anxiety or fear of not being welcome. It's helped me start to get back into playing games again, and I've been able to get into a few that either have built in accessibility features to avoid hand strain, or I've been able to modify my hardware setup to help with issues I was running into before. I've finally managed to pick up Warframe again, and I'm bouncing between that and Path of Titans without being hopelessly deep in a hyperfocus.

I officially got promoted at my job to Retail & Visitor Services manager (and got a $3 raise in Nov!!). While I'm struggling with finding help to ease my increased workload, I'm definitely way better off than before we hired on extra staff. It's given me a lot of networking opportunities (and excuses to go on field trips on the clock for ~*networking*~) and I've been juuuust starting to poke my head into local groups. One is a monthly artists crafting meetup right by work that starts right when I clock out! :D

I had the energy and free time to start branching out and trying other arts and crafts hobbies that had been interesting me! Ended up getting a serger machine to help really tidy up clothes that I make! I got into linocut & block printing, and have been having a lot of fun working on designs for that kind of printing. I even made a few printed shirts! And of course there was Andromeda, the first puppet I've ever made, and pretty much my proudest achievement in all my years of art so far.

I've honestly been spending less time on social media proper, usually forgetting to check tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Which has been good and bad, but overall better for me to stop feeling like I HAVE to fully backlog everything ever.

I got my first tattoo this year after wanting one for years and years! And that opened up a whole new can of worms and now I'm ending the year with 5 tattoos and 2 more scheduled in the next couple months oops! My first tattoo was Joltik, with my first ever pet spide!

I started keeping spiders this year after years of being too concerned about keeping pets that required live feeding! That also was a slippery slope. I picked up Indrid my red-backed jumper and Autumn my pumpkin patch t at the end of January, and now I have them, a regal jumper, a red-knee t, and a togo starburst t. You'd never guess that less than a decade ago I was scared shitless of all spiders. :> Especially now that I will occasionally free-handle wild spiders that need relocation to someplace safer. (Mostly still just jumpers tho)

Things aren't perfect by any means and I still have a lot of areas I want to personally improve myself in, but I feel like overall this has been a really really good year for me and I want to keep that momentum going into 2024! More art! More projects just for me! More time with friends! More enjoying games! More tidying my space literally and metaphorically!

[knightofhylia]

Adamkvi: Peace and Joy on the Planet Earth

I am honouring Adamard 'Puka'. His tag is adamkvi.

History and Name:

He came to me as part of a Full metal Alchemist OC. Adamard is a combination of 'Adam' and 'Edward', since he started as an Edward export I wanted to keep the name. It is pronounced "ah-DAHM'-ard" His middle name, Llolineu is a mystery. I don't really know where it came from. It has been spelled also as Llolineau. I always pronounced it 'Lah-lahl-eh-new' but I think it is closer to "Tholl-eh-noh". Considering that Puka is from the UK, I wouldn't be surprised if the double L is supposed to be like the Welsh letter that we see often in Llewlleyn. It's pronounced more like a 'th' with the tongue behind the teeth as opposed to on the teeth with an L. Another interesting synchronicity with his name is that he is mostly known as Puka. I used to refer to Puka, his wife, and their partners as 'the goblins' because they were mostly all short fae creatures with a tendency for trouble. I learned later that púca is the old English word for goblin! interesting huh? His last name is Tracey, but I don't think that had any specific origin, I think I just picked that from a list.

Role:

in 2020,when I was working with my deities I asked them all what their 'role' was by pulling 3 Tarot cards (This is when my Zelda deck was all I had). His as follows:

The Hanged Man Surrender, release, waiting, sacrifice The World Change, luck, taking action, inevitable change King of Swords Intellect, objective, assertive

When I first pulled these cards I assumed everyone was 'a deity' but as I've gotten to know them all, Puka is more of a saint/prophet than a deity. He is godspoused to the spirit of the Life and is very close to a Yeshua/Jesus figure: an embodiment of a god on earth whose focus is to spread kindness, love, and justice.

Lore and Description:

Adamard has been both human and machine multiple times. He was drowned as a child by bullies and was made into an android. Later, he was changed back into a human .He is intersex and albino. He was a part of many experiments which lead to his clone, Cain, and his son, Beauramard. He was groomed by an Anglican offshoot cult to be their saviour, however, he was later disregarded after the birth of his child did not change the world as prophesized. He later married D'sukinz, the actual prophesized saviour, and raised their children together. His patron deity is Niseag and D'sukinz. He is the son in law of Hemy, and brother in law to Kaleitti and Junalahqi.

Appearance:

He is albino with pale skin, white hair, one blue and one pink eye. I never remember which is which tho. In his teenage years he was forced on hormones to 'fix him' so he presented more feminine. as he got older he presents more masculine/androgynous. His favourite colour is blue. He has scar on his neck and a scar/tattoo on his forehead.

UPG story:

Puka was actually a name given to him by a longtime friend of mine. I collect BJD dolls and have two of him. One day my friend commented saying he looked like a 'pukabear' and when I asked what the was they said 'I dunno but it's him!' I rarely use Adam or Adamard with him,I mostly call him Puka lol.

I mostly experience puka in my head so I don't have very many upg stories I guess. Sometimes when I get thrown into a laughing fit my husband calls it 'my puka laugh' lol. There is a still al to for me to learn about him! I also haven't worked directly with him in a long time.

Correspondences:

Animals - rabbits, hares, albino animals, Astrology - Virgo, Venus, Gemini, the Moon Beverage - Tea Color - Blue, Pink, White

Crystals: Rose Quartz, Pearl, Aura Quartz, Coral Emotions - Peace, Love, belonging

Epithets: The Auspistice, Peace Keeper, Flower - Rose, baby's breath, elfdock Fruit - Apples, Strawberries, Herbs - Damiana, Motherwort, Carrots Keywords - Love, Harmony, Rebirth Kvi - September Meme -

Metal - Iron, Aluminum Musical Expression - electro swing, indie folk, vapourwave

Number - 50, 38 Playlist - Lüzers Mythical Animal - Unicorn, Mermaid, Jackalope Physical Expression - Sex, Stimming, being flirty Sense - Touch Symbol -

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

Hi there! I still love your little pup drabble! And the other kids too! Could you write one where the little ones were wondering how their parents do things? :3

((Hi there anon dear, hope your well. You mean Abigail and her friends? I think I can write something up for you. Just a moment. The young demon royals au and some of the muses spoken of or mentioned in this belongs to @demon-blood-youths ))

Now if your wondering the list of the kids is follows:

Abigail and Benjamin: Jaron/Melinda

Rosa: Shdwkyz/Vivi

Bridget: Rust/Breezy

Mack: T-bone/Maggie

Sarah: Hex/Opheila

Lewis: Joshua/Ashley

Brandon: Rex/Kali

Izzy: Fosh/Serena

Dawn: Ethan/Willow

Hiroshi/Hellmare: Dating

Oblivion/Yuuka: Married

Navarro/Echo: Dating

Taz/Timmy: Started Dating

Gerald/Ping:STarted Daiting

Some others are single but who knows that might change in the future.

Silver butterfly mun/Peahen mom

"Hey Abi!!" Abigail was sitting with her baby brother Benjamin who was hugging his baby lung dragon stuff animal. She looks up seeing a few kids to blink.

"Hi Rosa and Bridget! Are you here to have some snacks with us?" she asked seeing the two smile.

"Well, we wanted to see you since my mommy and daddy are speaking with the other parents. Though, it seems aunt Jinx and Aunt Ink broke the silly machine again." Bridget smiled while hearing some two familiar angry shouting.

Rosa sighed but the white and purple snakes hiss around her shoulder but moves to nuzzle again Abi saying hi and Ben as well who giggled.

"Though, were you and Ben here all this time? Have the others found you?" Rosa asked.

"Uhhhh, I think Mack is speaking with Lewis." Abi said seeing a very shy boy who had some vines around him but flowers were blooming. However, he was hearing another boy name Mack who was trying to show him fire kitten and a ice one that was sitting by him.

"Hmmmm, it seems some of the other kids are here or about." Rosa said.

"So you guys are here too? Is all of our parents in this weird meeting with our grand devils too?" A boy speaks but the group looks up seeing a boy land. He had his arms crossed but he seems to be just like Kali while he was hearing the others sigh.

"Maybe? We just got here and we don't know much." Bridget said but the boy name Brandon sighed to look.

"Well, it's stupid to just waiting here. Mom was going to show me some new tricks to training when I get older." he said.

Abigail, Bridget, Rosa blinks to see Brandon pouting with the other two kids Mack and Lewis walk over.

"H..H..Hi guys. So everyone i..is here?" Lewis said nervous.

"Hi Lewis. I think so but we were brought here after our moms said something about a meeting. So we are waiting here in uncle Vanity's throne room." Abi smiled. The kids thinks about it but wonders of their parents so it's possible their talking about big grownup stuff right?

~~~~In the meeting~~~~

"Navarro, how is this more important? Your trying to have Jinx and Ink banned from going into the work station room?" Fosh asked confused as the others said nothing.

"What?! They keep breaking things when training! Do you know how long it takes to fix it!?" Navarro said mad but Echo sighed rolling her eyes.

"Navarro, we fix it over time remember? It's nothing bad. Second, we get to find always to make it more stronger and tougher to break." she adds in with some sweatdropping hearing this.

"M..Maybe you can find another area for them t..to train?" Ashley said sitting by Joshua while others were agreeing. Their devils were there too but they sweatdrop since they are in Vanity's domain. He, on the other hand, was shaking his head with a facepalm.

"Even if we did, those two will destroy it!" Navarro points to the two leaders who was waving happily. Jinx and Ink have gotten a lot stronger over time but.....they tend to go overboard.

"Well, you know how they are Navarro. You can't stop them when they go all out." Jaron adds in while Melinda agrees with him. Even so, Navarro slams his head on the desk with Echo patting his back.

"Maybe we should move on with the meeting.." Rex said with Kali agreeing.

~~Back with the kids~~

The kids were playing or talking about things while Rosa was seeing her two snakes playing with Benjamin who was squealing happily but was careful with the two snakes. So far, the kids were fine and having fun.

[creativemorningsglasgow]

MEET OUR OCTOBER 2024 SPEAKER: MATT LYGATE of DREAM MACHINE

October's global CreativeMornings theme is VISION and it got us thinking about big visions and what it takes to translate that into reality which led us to Creative Director of the Dream Machine, Matt Lygate, our speaker on Friday, October 25th (tickets!)

Matt says, "I've been a creative entrepreneur, musician, artist, and events and social project manager for over a decade across Glasgow. Years ago, I transformed a derelict building in the Barras into a thriving community hub. Today The Dream Machine and The Space are both growing stronger despite the challenges of Covid. With my roots in DJing, the electronic music scene and the third sector community in Glasgow, I am a pioneer in using music, art and creativity in their truest form as social tools for transformation, integration and actualisation."

Matt is a kindred spirit in making space for community, connection and celebration and was kind enough to answer a few questions...

CM Glasgow: What do you think about when you consider this month's theme of VISION?

Matt: What are creatives and entrepreneurs if not visionaries? Every tribe since the dawn of humanity needed its visionaries, to see our faults, express our pains and guide us to new opportunities. If you are reading this, you are a visionary. Willing to speak your truth and present your solutions. Now more than ever, we need more visionaries and less conformity in a world on fire in desperate need of change.

CM: What motivates you day to day?

ML: Coffee...and my hyperactive ADHD brain that seeks constant stimulation, shiney new projects to start (but never ever finish!), but its super power is its power to manifest even 1% of my crazy dreams into some sort of reality, always to share for the benefit of others, not because I'm a super moral or religious person. Because doing things for others is the greatest reward! If its just for me, who am I going to celebrate with!?

CM: What's a typical day like for you?

ML: No such thing! I live in a van, spread out between 3 countries across the year, almost daily i wake up to new sites and sounds. I abhor structure but equally love it when its imposed on me. So a successful day for me is one where I meditate, do some exercise, eat healthy and sleep well. Everything else called 'work' makes or breaks upon that foundation.

CM: Tunnocks Tea Cakes or Caramel Wafers?

ML: We sell a vast variety of delicious vegan chocolates in our Vegan Green (vending) Machine at The Dream Machine where no mothers were forcibly milked to death so we can enjoy a sugary snack. Trust me, vegan chocolates have gotten so good, you can now have you cake and still eat it! #Goveganbeforewedestroytheworld (also the guy who runs Tunnocks is a capitalist, unionist who threatened his workers to vote against Scottish Independence...so aye... 🤣)

CM: Lastly, if you could describe Glasgow in one word, what would it be?

ML: Kind

Matt will be our speaker on Friday, October 25th at Dream Machine. Tickets include breakfast and are free but space is limited. Get yours here!

[foodfactory98]

The Feeding Machine Part 1

It's just a chair, you think to yourself as you approach the creation of your new feeder.

You're new to being a feedee, only being stuffed by this feeder 3 times yet they are confident in you. They keep telling you how much potential they see in you, that you're ready for the next step, you're ready for the feeding machine.

The machine is simple: a small tank with a hinged top and a mixer inside to whip up shakes. Sitting on the bottom of the tank is a valve and a hose connected to a small pump. There is a hose on the other side of the pump that goes into a BIG funnel that is held up a few feet above a simple office chair. On the bottom of the funnel is a hose with nothing but a switch on the end of it to stop the flow of thousands of calories.

Your feeder sits you down in the office chair under the funnel. Your belly just barely spills out onto your lap, tightly embraced by your pants. You're small in comparison to the girls that introduced you to feedism but this is something they've never gotten. You're the first person in the world to experience the feeding machine only adding to your nervousness and excitement.

As you wiggle around in the chair waiting for the nerves to settle, you see your feeder pouring ingredients into the tank: half a gallon of milk, a pint of ice cream, two scoops of mass gainer powder and some small quantities of ingredients that your feeder assures you are just for taste.

He flips a switch and the mixer blades whir on causing you to jump. After a minute a green light turns on next to the tank and the pump kicks on.

The thick shake slowly works it's way down the first hose and as you follow it with your eyes you watch it fill the opaque funnel above you with rich chocolaty goodness.

The whirring of the tank stops, the green light turns red and your feeder looks at you with a big grin.

"The rest is up to you, just put this hose in your mouth and go until you can't take anymore" he says while pushing the hose into your hand.

You put the hose in your mouth and flip the switch and instantly the best chocolate milkshake you've ever had is pours down your mouth. You feel the nervousness wash away with every drop that goes down your throat.

Once the flow starts it just doesn't stop. You wonder how much is left but you keep getting more, and more, and more. As your belly expands, the pleasure locks you in a daze that only the pain of your pants squeezing your bloated belly snaps you out of. You switch the lever off and put the hose down. You unbutton your tight pants and pull your belly over your waistband onto your lap.

How long has it been since you started? You think to yourself before losing interest to focus on rubbing your swollen gut, desperately trying to make room for more. You look up above you and realize the funnel is almost empty. Thank God, you're close to your limit.

It's at this moment you finally notice it, the sound of the mixer whirring, another batch being whipped up for you to drink.

"I don't know if I...oof... can handle any more". You say to your feeder stifling out a small burp.

"Don't be silly! I know you can handle this! I wouldn't have hooked you up to the machine unless I knew you could!"

Your feeder swings around the machine and grabs your feeding tube, grabs you by your chubby cheeks and gently places the tube in your mouth.

"Come on now, time to drink up, you have to make room in the funnel for the next batch! Besides, we both know how badly you want this, don't we?" They tease you as they swing around the back side of the office chair and grab your swollen belly from behind.

The encouragement of your feeder pushes the thought of your approaching limit out of your mind. They're right, you sat in this chair because you wanted this. You want more. You NEED more.

You switch the switch back open and feel the cold sensation of the delicious chocolate milkshake pour down your throat. The whirring stops again and the green light kicks on.

The new batch works it's way through the pump and enters the funnel before you can finish what was left. As the new batch enters the funnel, you feel the flow of the milkshake change. What was once a slow and smooth flow begins to slightly pulsate from the pump. This feels a bit weird at first but eventually you start to like it. It almost feels like your tongue is being massaged, being prepped for more.

As you keep going, your attention is narrowed by the pain of your full gut until you can't think about anything else. You look down and your belly has pushed out onto your thighs further than it has ever been pushed before.

That's it, you're at your limit. You weakly reach your arm up to flip the switch closed before your feeder knocks your arm away.

"Oh come on, you're so close! You can finish this! Didn't you dream about this? Don't you want it?"

You sniffle out a little cry of pain and nod your head as you put your arm down accepting the rest of the funnel.

As the flow of the milkshakes runs out, you put your hand up to remove the tube from your mouth but you're interrupted by your feeder.

"Not so fast! There's still some left in the tube. You're gonna finish Every. Single. Drop."

Your feeder picks up the funnel and tilts your head back letting the last few drops hit your tongue and slide down your throat.

As soon as it's done, you rip the tube out of your mouth and sit there in a stupor. Not a single thought goes through your mind. All you can feel is how tight your stomach is, how it feels like you're going to burst. You're too full to move and too eager to sleep away this pain.

You fall asleep in the chair not knowing if you're in heaven, hell or somewhere in-between. You do know one thing for certain though: one of your biggest dreams came true today. You have your own personal feeding machine ready to expand your body farther than you ever thought possible.

[mae-dwrites]

Coffee Stains and Leaky Pens - Chapter 1

| Masterlist | Next |

| Ao3 | Wattpad |

Smallville didn’t have much go on in its’ borders, at least they could say that before the meteor shower nearly five decades ago. Since then there had only been…chaos as a simple way of putting it.

It had calmed down though, Metropolis now got to suffer at the hands of all the “mysterious circumstances.” Though they knew more of the truth now than when that had all started.

Stores had closed, new ones opened, people had died, moved, so on and so forth. One thing that had stayed, surprisingly, was The Talon. That old movie theater turned coffee shop by Lana Lang and Lex Luthor.

See Zoé’s father had been a very close friend of Oliver Queen, prior to the reveal, and will was. So when the Kent Farm was used for close friends and family events, Christopher was invited, and eventually he started bringing his daughter.

Zoé fell in love with the town as much as she loved New York, so after all the Paris mayhem, she brought her sister to the town. It was perfect for the reforming diva, no one knew her, at least they didn’t know her face.

Slowly but surely Chloé fell in love with it too. It was drastically different, but it wasn’t…it wasn’t bad.

And you know what’s handy about briefly being a hero? Being light on your feet, yeah, she’s had practice since she started helping Marinette’s family but despite being a small town they sure had a lot of people come through.

And this young man was one she’d seen plenty of times, but was the first she’d interacted with him. He hadn't been in a while according to her co-worker.

“Hey, can I get a black coffee with this much creamer,” he moved his hand in a quick pouring motion. “I have no idea how to say how much, but do you see? I have no idea how else to tell you, I’m so sorry.”

Chloé kept her composure, pretty well, considering anytime she overheard him overexplaining orders to her co-workers she let herself have a quiet laugh. Her lips were firmly pressed in a polite smile as she nodded.

“It’s okay, I assure you. I’ll do that-” she did the quick pouring motion “-much in your cup.”

His expression was a wonderful mixture of embarrassment and relief. He gave a smile to her that made his glasses raise a little, her polite smile slightly enlarged at the movement.

“Will that be all?” she asked looking between the register and him.

“Oh yeah an, a, well is that machine working again yet or not?” he pointed to the clearly unplugged espresso machine. “My sister said it was broken and so he hasn't been coming in because of it and so he doesn't actually know if you’ve gotten it fixed.”

Chloé almost sighed, almost.

“I’m sorry to say, but it's still broken and we haven't been able to fix it ourselves. We’re currently waiting on a guy to come in. Is there something else I can get for you or will that be all?”

The guy puffed his cheeks out, making his glasses move again. He blew the air out looking at the food display instead, “It’s okay. Can I just get a muffin with it too, please?”

“Right on it,” Chloé nodded.

Barely a minute and she was handing him a to-go cup and a muffin in a paper bag.

“That’ll be 12.99,” she said as he opened his wallet. He paused for a moment glancing at her.

“I didn't tell you which creamer to use,” his words were slow.

“You’re in here at least 3 times a week,” Chloé raised an eyebrow. “I don't usually serve you but I’ve caught your order.”

He blinked before ducking his head and slapping a bill on the counter and grabbing his order, “Thank-you, I-don't-need-a-receipt, keep-the-change.”

Chloé, not that she’d admit it, jumped at him running off after slapping the counter. She picked up the bill. A 20, she smiled to herself as she put that into the register and greeted the next customer.

Outside Jon Kent threw the paper bag at his older sister, and buckled up.

“Jesus dude,” the young woman grumbled as she started the truck. “The machine still broke?”

“Yeah,” Jon’s voice was a little too high. His sister glanced at him but decided not to say anything.

“That sucks. Guess I’ll just have to go to old Beanery,” Larissa said, not practically liking the idea. She pulled out into traffic as she continued, “That place always sucks to go into. Oh you’re Clark’s daughter? You’re Chloe’s niece?” Her voice went comically high-pitched before dropping back to her regular voice, “How about you mind your business, you’re like 70.”

That made Jon snort, “Which is why I like Metropolis, or flying to Gotham. Usually don't get that spiel.”

“Pft, I wish,” Larissa murmured, but she knew her brother heard her perfectly clearly.

“The barista says they’re having a guy come in to fix it soon,” Jon said quickly. Larissa raised an eyebrow at him, making him continue, “Since you didn't seem to be listening.”

“You know I don't like listening in,” she frowned.

“Lara, my point is, we can avoid the Beanery a little longer,” he grinned at his sister.

Larissa looked over at him, holding back a smirk, “Okay.”

The next time she glanced at him her smirk was well-placed on her, as her brother smiled as he drank his coffee.

[princesscolumbia]

Pride Month 2024 - Day 15

And now for my current WIP, my greatest hyperfixation to date...

Synopsis

Dylan is the American Republic's best cyber-agent with a 'kill' count that exceeds the next top 4 agent's count combined. When the world woke up in the aftermath of the Rogue A.I. scare in U.N. City, America formed a task force to defend her people from the A.I. that were trying to wipe out humanity. The challenge was, the U.N. had walled off America after World War 3, so the only nation openly fighting against the threat of the machines was hemmed in and limited. The agency has gotten their hands on a "VR Pod" and selected Dylan as their first operative to penetrate the online spaces that the Republic has been denied access to so far. A new VRMMO game has come out, "Galaxies Unlimited: Master and Commander," that's being billed as the first true collaboration between a team of human developers and A.I. Scuttlebutt in the intelligence community says that this new 'game' is actually a front for an organized effort to hide and traffic rogue A.I. In order to best infiltrate the game, Dylan's support staff of analysts dig into the published info about the rogues and determine that the A.I. seem to gravitate to the 'queer' humans outside the wall (there are NO queers inside the wall, the church made sure of that), and since Dylan gets the screaming willies even imagining trying to pretend attraction to another guy, he opts to go incognito as a woman. Dylan, now Diane, takes command of her station in the game and must navigate a universe filled with humans playing as aliens, uncomfortably lifelike A.I., and the disturbing awareness that she should be feeling more conflicted about being a woman than she is. --- A story set in the 'Trouble with Horns'/'Witch of Chains'/'Lieforged Gale'/'Digital Galaxies' universe that asks the question, "What about the bad guys?" --- HUGE thanks to SoulStorm (do a people search, totally worth it!) for the title for this work! It fits so perfectly!

If you are a transwoman and haven't read Trouble with Horns and the other books in the series, you haven't ever seen yourself represented properly in media.

The series is genuinely inspirational and I cannot say enough about it, ever. It's just genuinely so good.

But this post isn't about that series, it's about Code of Ethics.

This fic literally started life while I was binging the Troubleverse fics (and, really, everything by QuietValerie on Scribblehub) during an 18 day period of time.

Yes, really. I binged over 2 years worth of writing from someone who, IMHO, deserves a place of honor in the pantheon of queer writers in 18 days.

And I asked the question as I was about halfway through 'Digital Galaxies' and the discussion of the Exodus were well underway (...if you haven't read the series yet, this won't make sense), "Wait, what about the queer folk born after the Exodus?"

See, one thing I've noticed about any group that sees themselves as the Oppressed Minority (whether they are or not) is there's this fantasy that takes hold that says, "If we could just leave and all the people that Don't Deserve Us™️ were left behind (intentional emphasis is intentional), why, everything would be so much better!"

And the problem with this thinking is two-fold: What about the people who can't leave, and what about the people who come later who are also part of the oppressed minority?

This is most obviously illustrated in it's abject failure as a 'solution' to the perceived problem in the Christian myth of the Rapture. If you're unfamiliar (which I'm consistently surprised by the lack of knowledge about Christian myth and tradition given how hard pseudo-Christians and Christofascists have worked to make Christianity the only religious and philosophical framework on Earth...but then actual knowledge of Christianity isn't necessary when your goal isn't to spread the gospel but to spread a Christofascist hegemony, is it?), the Rapture is a misread of the scripture Matthew 24:40-41. (Didn't know you were getting a gospel lesson, did you?) The mentioned scripture describes a calamity where 50% of the population will be "taken," and the Death Cultists in the church took that scripture and about seven others to cobble together the anti-doctrinal concept of, "Only the very best, most goodest people who deserve to be in Heaven will be spared the absolute and complete destruction that comes after, and everyone left behind are bad, baddy bads who deserve what's coming...but somehow there's going to be good people left after all that and even though they're in the half that's bad, they're still good. They won't be good enough, mind, God will still have to step in and go all Old Testament (even though he said he wouldn't do that again because it's no longer necessary after Jesus did his thing), but they're going to earn their place in Heaven, which we all know isn't beholden to Jesus' teachings that you have a place in Heaven if you go and sin no more."

Even in the Christofascist circlejerk Mary Sue fanfiction of scripture where The Rapture happens, it's such a provably bad idea because of the fundamental problem of what about the people WHO DON'T GET TO ESCAPE BUT SHOULD HAVE HAD THE CHANCE?

Which took my very active imagination inside the American Wall.

"Dylan" came about from my own experiences of living under the weight of being taught a certain worldview as a transwoman where that worldview declares your very existence to be anathema. When you want to be Good and Righteous and further, that's the only path that you can think to follow that might, maybe, hopefully free you from the sin that you cannot escape, just how far would you go to try to wipe the stain of sin from your life? What atrocities would you commit? What brainwashing would you subject yourself to in order to reconcile the gut-level pull to live your truth with the sure knowledge that this truth is an evil so vile that people don't dare speak of it? And whose attention would that draw, and what would they do about it?

Dylan is a mass murderer, and on a certain level he knows it. But he's been taught that this is okay, that the people he's murdering aren't actually people, they're just buggy code that needs to be deleted for the sake of all the actual people. In an effort to escape the truth buried in his subconscious and starved due to ignorance, he's turned himself into a monster, a nightmare to the world he thinks he's protecting.

When he becomes Diane and those parts of herself that had been buried so thoroughly she didn't even know they existed start to make themselves known, what will become of the paladin who dedicated themself to the ideals of the world they grew up in when the only option once their shell is cracked is to confront the truth that they are, in fact, the bad guy?

The ride's going to be rough, so make sure all your carry on bags are properly stowed, your seat backs are in an upright and locked position, and strap the fuck in.

[write-feel-live-love]

Welcome to the Happiness Project

So I don't know if you're familiar with Gretchen Rubin, but she has this thing called the Happiness Project. She also has a great podcast called Happier. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, if you want to learn more about her, go for it. I'm writing about my own Happiness Project, based off of hers. The gist of it is that you need to pick a theme per month (some aspect of self-improvement) and then pick mini goals to achieve that lead you closer to that theme.

So here's my first entry:

Month #1: Heal

I learned in therapy recently that I have been depressed for 6 years. Yes, this was news to me. I'm apparently really good at denial. Like.. Pro Level. Even more recently I discovered I've been depressed since I was 12. Again, Pro Level of denial.

I've always been someone to take my labels seriously and when I heard this news, I spiraled for a hot minute. I didn't know how to adjust this new label into my current life: Mother. Wife. Teacher. Where does Pro Level Depression Denier fall?

So I decided maybe it was time to step back and heal. Before I get too deep, you need to know one thing. It's been almost a year since I had my second child and post-partum depression/ anxiety has kicked my ass.

Goal #1: Start a new vitamin to combat the hair loss that my beautiful baby caused. Surprisingly, this one might actually be working. I showered tonight and not nearly as much hair fell out of my head as usual. Still could have been a wig for a small doll, but we're getting there!

Goal #2: Do a session of yoga or walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes every night. This one has also gone surprisingly well. I've only missed one might when depression hit a little harder than normal. But with the support of my fantastic husband, we got back on track the next night. Again, I started this project mid-way through March so this might not actually be THAT impressive, BUT I have 2 children under the age of 5. I think it's a pretty fucking great start.

Goal #3: Continue to work on banishing oil. I'm working my way into a new religious path. Part of which values protection. Right now, I'm working on banishing negativity from my life. Hence, banishing oil. Currently basking in the moon light charging up so I can actually use it in a ritual this week. (P.S.- No judgment please, I'm not here for it.)

Goal #4: Make Spring Break plans! I'm a teacher. I'm a burnt out teacher. Who has two small children I still have to watch over Spring Break because I created them and am responsible for them. Hence, we need to get the fuck out of the house next week or I'm going to go fucking crazy.

Goal #5: Identify the Top 3 things bugging the crap out of me at work (bonus if you can make a plan to work on them). I'll be honest here. I haven't gotten to this one yet. Work is hard right now. State testing is upon us, the kids know Spring Break is coming. Every one is burnt out and checked out. I still have a week left of March. I got time!

Goal #6: Make a list of the things that make me feel sexy. My sex life is in the trash. Post-partum and regular depression have taken my will to bone. I used to be a machine. So, to combat this, I need to find what makes me feel sexy again. So far, and pathetically, clothes have been it. Until I thought about it, and realized that somehow dancing also works. I need to give this some more thought, but yeah. We're getting there.

Last Minute Goal #7: 24 for 24. Also stolen from Gretchen Rubin. As indicated by the disclaimer. This one is last minute. So I don't have an update for this yet. It's coming.

So yeah. If you've read this, thanks. If not, it's all good. This is more for me than for anybody else anyway. I've been told that if you want to be a writer, write. I used to write all the time to express my thoughts and learn how I really feel. (Kind of informs the name of this blog, which I'll explain some day.) So here I am. Writing to figure out who this new person is, if the old me is in here somewhere, and how those two people are going to get along for the rest of my life.