#but nevermind all that-- what the hell do you mean snow in glass shard was made of seagull beaks

[nenoname]

Journal 3’s references to Stan

(…does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford’s TBoB letters sure as hell don’t count as J3 but I’m including them here anyway)

Lost Journal Pages

"STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH"

“My stomach sank a bit when I realized… it was my birthday. This day has felt… odd, since S and I… parted ways.”

"I was adjusting my TV antennae for weather reports (looking for ideal conditions for F's first portal test) and spat out my coffee when I saw THIS! My brother hawking scams under the name "Panley Stines." I had half a mind to call that number, just to pretend to be the police and maybe scare S straight for once! There is something so galling about seeing your OWN FACE committing crimes on your own TV! When my Muse saw me break my stress ball, I decided it was finally time to vent about Stanley."

""How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!"

"You can't just eat your twin, Bill."

You'd be surprised what you can eat! I say sure, call him if you want him to start mooching off you again! ME, I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it. All they did was hold me back and sabotage my talents! Can you imagine?"

"More than you know. But you do ever wonder if maybe... maybe things could have been different?""

"Our heat budget was so tight that Mom forced S and me to wear one sweater at the same time. (She called it the "Abominable Snow-Stan." Our cat lived in fear of it year-round.)"

“DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I’ve quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes.”

"But then he crossed a line. Helplessly I watched Cipher in my own body limp up to a pay phone and dial... STANLEY'S phone number from the infomercial?! No. He wouldn't.

"Hey brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE."

My heart was in my throat until I heard the dial tone... The pay phone was out of order. The message hadn't gotten through. Cipher turned back to address me.

"TSK, TSK, TSK. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MAKE YOU DO! TOMORROW'S TAPE IS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.""

(Bro secret code) "miss you"

“The snow has begun to fall again and there’s very little time. There’s only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey…”

"S is an overgrown child with none of my rigorous mental training. Who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside Stanley's mind for even one minute...

What if Stanley somehow manages to destroy the portal just like he destroyed my perpetual motion machine? I suppose that machine did work in its own way... It kept me perpetually angry for thirty years."

(Bro secret code) "HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?"

"What if he tries to rope me into his latest get-rich-quick scheme? His latest commercial was for "Stan Sauce: The Miracle Sauce that's too cool for the FDA!"

What if... he mocks me? What if he sees that I abandoned our family to become a recluse on the brink of madness? Could I risk admitting that I was... wrong?

PROS: I have no one else. Well, that settles it. It's time to come face-to-face with a face I haven't seen in 10 years. My own face. Which... is my brother's face. God, I miss sleep."

Ford’s Letters

"In the weeks since Weirdmageddon, I conducted numerous tests on Stanley's mind (his terrible jokes are still intact) and inspected the state for dimensional leakage (we also took turns kicking the statue, and Stanley took a few cracks with a crowbar). I burned every Cipher-shaped item I had ever collected, and even threw away all my one-dollar bills, just to be safe (Stanley, of course, found and pocketed them).

“I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!”

“They didn’t see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!”��

"Bill may tell you that happiness requires conquering galaxies and living forever, but I've seen enough of the universe to tell you that he's wrong. I've found my happiness. And it looks like this:"

"If you're reading this... then I am dead. Kidding! Sorry, Stanley thought that would be funny. Ha-ha! We're currently out shopping for harpoons to prepare for our trip to the arctic."

"Stan, if you end breaking into my lab at some point later today- Bravo! Still as good a locksmith as in 8th grade. Beers are under the desk."

(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford’s opinions on Stan instead, where he’s openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more… melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different

Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S” or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher). I think he only ever messes up the general naming scheme a single time when he wrote Fiddleford instead of F

…not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)

Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon

[layce2015]

The Wolf Among Us (Bigby Wolf x Reader)

A Crooked Mile:

Chapter 2 What Big Eyes You Have

Fabletown Business Office

The Woodlands

11:48 PM

Bufkin was picking up the broken pieces off of the floor and began to put the Magic Mirror back together. Snow, now in her normal blue skirt, snowflake dress shirt and tan suit jacket, was standing by, watching him, while you, in your jeans and a white tank top and boots, were sitting on the edge of Crane's old desk, holding an ice pack to the back of your head, looking down at your feet. Bigby was leaning at the other end of the desk, shirtless, as he was getting patched up by Swineheart. He looks over at Bufkin and the broken mirror for a moment then his gaze turns to you, worrying about the head injury you suffered.

"I did as well as I could to take out the buckshots, but there's still some shards embedded in your shoulder. They'll eventually worm their way out on their own but....until they do, you're gonna be sore." Swineheart informed him as he finished patching Bigby up. "Guys, Doctor Swineheart was appointed Fabletown physician for a reason." Snow said as she walks up to you two and Swineheart. "It's okay, there's only one thing to take away from all this: take it easy." Swineheart said as he looks between you and Bigby. "Both of you."

Bigby stands up straight and stretches his arms while you set the ice pack down on the desk and slowly jumped off the desk. Snow stood by your side, in case you fall over and black out. "Don't go looking for any more fights. Keep strain off your heart, Bigby." Swineheart instructed. 

"How's everyone else? They all make it?" Bigby asked him.

"They're fine. I had everyone that got wounded sent home. Holly refused to let me see where she lived, so I left her and Grendel back at her bar with a dose of juniper and spring water." Swineheart replied, but Bigby still had a worried look on his face. "They're Titans, Bigby. They'll be fine." Swineheart said, with no worry in his voice. "Just remember what I said. The stitches won't hold up if you continue to act....like you normally do." Then Swineheart looks over at you and said. "You also need to be careful, Miss (l/n). If anything you'll just have a pounding headache....but at worst you could blackout."

Swineheart picks up his medical bag and starts to walk out. "Everything in moderation. And, uh, eat more chicken, Bigby." He said. "Look, Bigby and I are not the ones that create the situation...we're the ones that have to deal with them." You said to the doctor. Swineheart just grumbles at your statement as the phone rings. "Business Office." Snow answered. "I know, I'll have to call you back." And she hangs up the phone and turns to you and Bigby. "The town is starting to find out...." She said, nervously. "Well, I'll leave you three to it, then. Miss White. Miss (l/n). Bigby." Swineheart said and he walks out of the office.

The three of you stand there in the office in silence. You look over at Bigby and did a glance over at him but you quickly look down in embarrassment. "So...to recap..." you said as you push a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Crane watched me through the Magic Mirror uncovering his room at the Open Arms Hotel." Bigby said as he walks over to the sliding blinds and grab his shirt, which was hanging from the top. "Then he smashed it so we couldn't use it ourselves to go after him. And we know this because Bufkin was drinking in the rafters. That about cover it?" Bigby asked as he sticks his head out from the side as he buttons up his shirt. 

He ducks back behind the blind as Snow said. "Once he puts all the pieces back together....it'll be easy to catch Crane. So....I guess that's the plan." Bigby walks out from behind the blinds and towards you and Snow as you said. "So that's the plan? Just wait for the mirror?"

"It's all we have right now." Snow replied to you. "What the hell is going on? Just---I don't know what the Tweedles get out of this....I don't know if Crane sent them, I don't know if....I mean, this is gonna sound crazy, but....do you really think Crane did it?"

"I'm just as confused as you are to be honest. I don't know..." Bigby replied to Snow as you stare at Crane's desk in disgust and anger. "It just doesn't make sense."

"He's....he was a conniver, a....a coward, a liar. And I'll always hate him for that. And I'll hate him for how he....held me in his thoughts." You said as you look down then back up to face the others. "But murdering prostitutes..."

Before anyone could say anything, you heard Bufkin yelp in pain. "Everything okay over there?" Snow asked him. "Yes, Miss White. Just cut myself on a piece of the glass! Nothing to worry about." Bufkin replied as he goes back to mending the mirror. You turn to Bigby and said. "Thanks for tonight, by the way. That could've gone really terribly....I mean, even worse than it did. I'm glad you were there."

"I just feel bad for Holly, really." Bigby said, remorseful. You nod at this and said. "Time heals everything, eventually. At least, I hope so....for her sake."

"Can I, uh, ask you a question? It's kinda personal..." Snow said as she takes a few steps forward towards Bigby. "Sure." He said, uncertain.

"It's just....when stuff hits the fan---like it did tonight...it feels like before we came to the city. It feels kind of like home. And I've heard it said....that maybe....in some tiny bottled up way, deep inside....you enjoy it....when things go wrong. Because it gives you an excuse to....just, you know...stop pretending." Snow said, nervously. "Fuck no, I don't enjoy it! Are you kidding me?! It's horrible what happened tonight. I wish it didn't happen!" Bigby replied to her, angrily. He felt alittle upset that she would ask him that.

"Why bring this up, Snow?" You asked her. She looks over at you with concern then said, as she looks away. "I shouldn't have said anything. Forget that I did."

"Uh, guys!" Bufkin exclaims. "We have a problem...."

"What is it?" Snow asked as all three of you make your way towards Bufkin. "I can't finish the mirror. It's missing a piece." Bufkin replied as he turns to face you three. "What do you mean missing a piece?" Snow asked.

"Yes, it's, uh....it's not here." Bufkin replied, nervously. "Crane must've taken a shard with him." Bigby said after thinking for a moment. Snow sighs as you said, annoyed. "I can't believe this."

"I saw Crane pick something up after he smashed it. I'm sorry....I didn't realize what it was until now." Bufkin said. "The mirror can't work unless it's whole." Snow exclaimed. "Well, that's not entirely true..." Bufkin said.

"Or what, Bufkin? What? We sit around and wait for it to mend itself? We have no idea how long that will take! We're just gonna have to do this the hard way." Snow said, angrily. 

"I'm just saying waiting is an option...."

"No. We can't depend on the mirror." Snow said to Bufkin, firmly. "What exactly is the hard way?" You asked Snow.

"We'll look through his things, his desk, everything. He had to have left something that tells us where he's going. He was a neat freak but he was never that smart." Snow said. "Smart enough to take a piece of the mirror..." Bufkin remarks. "We can still solve this ourselves....I know that---"

"Nevermind that, come help me look." Snow said to you and Bigby and she begins to walk over to Crane's desk. You and Bigby exchange a look before you make it over to the desk and you look through some of the drawers. Bigby turns to Bufkin who says. "I can still help you catch Crane, you know..."

"Oh yeah?" Bigby said, curiously. "Yes! I saw him jump on the telephone before he left. He called up somebody. He said he needed to see his witch, or that he needed to get to the witch for that....whoever that is." Bufkin replied. 

"His witch?" Bigby said, confused.

"Yes, it sounded like the one he got his (y/n) glamours from." Bufkin replied and Bigby hums at this as he turns and walks towards you and Snow. "Bufkin said he overheard Crane call somebody before he left." Bigby said to you and Snow. "It sounds like he was going to see a witch....his witch. His glamour witch."

"Wait, really?" You said, surprised.

"None of the 13th floor witches would allow that sort of thing. They must be somewhere in the city." Snow said. "It's at least something." You said to her and she nods. "Find anything?" Bigby asked you two. "No, but there's enough notes and stuff here to take all night." Snow replied. "Maybe check that stuff over there." She points at the stack of letters on the desk.

Bigby walks over to the desk but sees a box off to the side. He looks inside and found a key, the Room 207 key. "What is it?" You asked him as he pulls the key out and looks at it. "It's the key to his room at the Open Arms." Bigby said as he tries to shake the image of that room out of his head.

"You still haven't told me what was in there..." you said to him. "I want to know." Then you turned around and placed your left hand on his arm, giving him a pleading look. "I need to know." You whispered. Bigby closes his eyes for a moment then opens them and replied. "Crane was, uh... paying Lily to live out a fantasy. Of you and him. Together. Forgive me if I spare you the details." You close your eyes as you lower your head and he sets the keys down on the table. Snow stood there in shock as she listens, anger boiling in her chest.

"I keep thinking back....I keep replaying moments in my head, interactions with him, when he'd catch me in the elevator, or....bump into me outside. There's only so much you can repress, you know." You said as you open your eyes and stare at him. "(Y/N)....you couldn't have known." Bigby said to you, softly. "No. I could've." You replied, as you look down. Bigby placed his hand over yours as he gives you an apologetic look. You look up at him and give him a small smile.

"C'mon, let's keep looking." Snow said, making you two jump alittle. You almost forgot your sister was standing there next to you. You give an embarrassed smirk at him and the two of you continue to look at the desk. There was three letters addressed to Crane. Bigby picks up one and reads.

Ichabod Crane,

Are there any updates on the extra funding I requested? As I explained in my last letter, the conditions here could do with some improvement. I'm seeing some unrest from the residents, and I have to admit I can see why. The Farm should not be a punishment. I'm sure you're busy, but I think this should be made a priority.

Best,

Weyland Smith

You and Bigby state at each other at this as you rolled your eyes and he sets the letter back down and picks up another letter.

Dear Mr Ichabod Crane,

I am writing to ask, again, that you please send someone to fix the air conditioning in our unit. It's burning up in the apartment and Pinocchio says his skin is splintering. I don't know what that means, but I assume it's something gross and I'd really like it if you'd fix the air like we asked you three months ago. At the very least provide us a fan in the meantime.

Sincerely,

Boy Blue

Bigby sets that letter down and picks up the last one.

Mr Crane,

You said you'd pay to have the plaster redone in my building after the last incident in 204. It's falling off the fucking walls! Please FIX IT! I can't rent out that room as it is and I've already been waiting for DAYS! Not to mention you already promised me you'd send someone to fix the big crack in the glass in the front door! Well, guess what? IT'S WORSE NOW!

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

-Mr Toad

"Did Crane ever do any work?" Bigby asked you and Snow. "Only when Cole was around..." Snow replied as he sets the letter down and sees a drawer. He pulls it but it didn't budge. He looks up at you and Snow and both of you nod at him. He uses all his strength and pulls the drawer open to reveal a book inside. He smiles at you two and grabs the book.

He flips through until he noticed a page was torn. "There's a page here that was torn out." He said. "Oh yeah?" Snow said as you and her look at the book. 

"Bufkin? Do you know what was here?" You asked and Bufkin flies over to the desk and looks at the corner of the missing page that only said The Ring of before it was cut of. "It's a ring, at least. Every magical item not retained in the armory is assigned to someone in Fabletown. It must be this witch he's going to see..." Bufkin informed.

"Yeah, we only recently heard about this meeting. Why didn't you mention this before?" Snow asked him, angrily, as all of you glare at the little monkey. "No one asked me!" Bufkin replied. "Bufkin!" Snow shouted, exasperated, as you and Bigby just glare at him. "And I'm hungover, I'm sorry!" Bufkin exclaimed. "He set the meeting at 2:00 AM. Tonight."

And as if that couldn't be bad enough, you hear the door open and in walk Bluebeard. "What's going on? Is the mirror fixed yet?" He asked as he walks into the office. "Bluebeard, this isn't the time." Snow said to him.

"Is the mirror fixed or isn't it? You called me to--"

"I called just to see if you knew where Crane could be, and that was it, okay? And I'm sorry I said anything more than that." Snow replied to him.

"Well, you did, and I know. The cat's out of the bag. So...can we find the dull pervert or not?" Bluebeard asked.

"No. It can't be fixed. It's missing a piece." Bigby replied. "This is none of Bluebeard's business, Bigby." Snow shouted at him. "None of my business? Crane's the murderer, he escaped, it seems he's foiled your every attempt at locating him, and now it's none of my business?" Bluebeard asked, angrily. "We don't know if he's the murderer." You said. "Oh, please, of course he is." Bluebeard scoffed.

"Look, this just isn't the time. He took a piece of the mirror, so we can't use it." Snow said, annoyed.

"The only thing we know is that Crane's going to see a witch at two o'clock." Bufkin squeaks and you, Snow and Bigby give him the death glare. "AM or PM?" Bluebeard asked him. Bufkin looks to you three then lowers his head as he replies. "AM."

"Listen, Bluebeard, you're not a part of this." Snow said to him. "I don't think you're in any position to turn away help." Bluebeard remarked. "What do you know about Crane, anyway?" Bigby asked him.

"That he has the stones to kill prostitutes, like any common sex-frightened serial killer, and not face a real challenge." Blubeard replied and you just roll your eyes at this. "Look, we know that Crane is going to see a witch, and it's to acquire a magic ring." You said as you walk over to Crane's desk. "What's the ring?" Bluebeard asked you. "We don't know what it does or who it's assigned to since Crane tore its page out of the book." You replied as you point at the open book on the desk.

Bluebeard turns to Snow and points at her. "This farce was your ridiculous plan, I mean, who put you in charge in the first place?" He asked, angrily, as he starts to walk away. "Fixing the mirror was the most logical thing!" Snow shouted. "You're a secretary! He's the Sherriff and your sister is the Deputy and none of you were chosen to run this office!" Bluebeard shouts as he turns to face Snow. "Who elected you to make these decisions?" He asked Snow.

"Nobody, but that doesn't--"

"Who elected her to spend my money?" Bluebeard asked you and Bigby. "Well I've been doing that unofficially for years now!" Snow shouts back at him. "Snow can obviously handle this, so let's drop it!" You said to Bluebeard. "Well then....excuse me for having the commonwealth in mind." Bluebeard said. offended.

Snow turns around and stares at the broken mirror for a moment then turns to face all of you. "Alright, let's look on the bright side. We know that Crane is going to see the witch that's been supplying him black market glamours." She said. 

"Thanks to me." Bufkin chimed in with a smile.

"....and that he'll be there at two. So that gives us..." Snow looks down at her watch and said. "A few short hours to find out who it is and where they live and get them all at once."

"And a few shorter hours the more you babble about it." Bluebeard sneered as he folds his arms across his chest. "We're not the ones babbling, Bluebeard!" You growled at him.

"Yeah, yeah, just point into the direction you want us to check first." Bigby said to Snow. "Since Lily used the glamours. she'd have know who the witch was....and I don't think Holly has burned her things yet. It would probably have an address, or a phone number or something..." Snow said.

"And Bigby and (y/n) are free to go there if they like, but I think the question you should be asking is just what do the two Tweedles know about this?" Bluebeard asked her. "It doesn't matter what they know. After tonight, they'd never go back to their office." Snow replied. "They're not smart enough to try and go anywhere else--" Bluebeard said. "The Trip Trap is the better option to track down the witch." Snow argued.

"Look, chances are we'll swing by both anyways so..." Bigby said but Snow interrupts him. "No. chances are you won't have the time." 

"What if we split up?" You asked. "I mean, Bigby goes to one and I go to the other..."

"I don't think that's..." Snow started to say but you talk over to her. "Snow, I can handle it. I'm not a baby. If we split up, we might actually have some time to catch Crane before two o'clock." Snow gives you a worried look and you say. "It's worth a shot."

"I don't care what you three do, I'm going to his apartment." Bluebeard announced as he turns away. "What? You can't just go up there." Snow yells at him.

"And why the hell not?" He asked her as he turns back to face her. "We already looked for the key, remember? I don't know where it is." Snow exclaimed as she walks up to Bluebeard. "Then I'll pick the blasted lock! I've already wasted enough time for the mirror to find him. I won't waste anymore!" He shouts.

"You can't just go up there alone, alright?" Snow said, angrily. "I've no interest in nicking his drapes, my dear, if that's what concerns you." He replied.

"What concerns me is you traipsing through possible evidence." said Snow.

"Oh, now it's evidence!" Bluebeard exclaims. "Before you had no interest and now it's a crime scene!"

"Bluebeard, just stay out of it, alright? You'll just mess things up further." Bigby said.

"They can't get anymore messed up!" Blubeard growled at him. "We need to find the witch, Bluebeard, since that's where he's going." You said.

"Or the sniveling weasel chickened out! And is upstairs right now in his pitiful penthouse, crafting a fort out of couch cushions! Look, this is how a smart person would do it, so this how we're going to do it....wherever you two go, I'll go to the other." Bluebeard said as he paces around then steps in front of you and Bigby. 

"I don't like you going anywhere unsupervised!" Snow shouts at him then she turns to you two and whispered. "He's up to something. I don't know what it is but we don't have time to really worry about it now." Then she looks between all of you and turns to you and Bigby and asked. "Where are you two gonna go?"

Both of you think for a moment before Bigby speaks. "The witches identity must be in with Lily's stuff. I should go see Holly." You nod and said. "I'll go to the Tweedles office, see if I can find anything they might know." Snow gives you a concern look as Bluebeard said. "Perfect! And I'll go to Crane's apartment." And he begins to walk out of the office. 

Snow sighs and turns to you two and said. "I'll check in on you guys later. I hope you guys know what you are doing." She walks over to the desk and picks up the phone and makes some calls. You and Bigby glance at each other and began to make your way out of the office.

[meroniasecretexchange-blog]

A wine-stained date

Author : @all-my-lovely-fics

Gift for : @snow-white-sheep

Prompt : “You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole”

Author’s note : Hi ! I’m sorry because while this fanfiction technically fills the prompt, it’s obviously not what you expected. I still hope you’ll like it, I just loved this idea <3 I hope you’re having/you had a lovely holiday !

Mello drew up the list of everything he had done to prepare himself, checking and checking again that everything was in place and that he hadn’t forgotten anything. Not that he doubted of his plan, not at all, but his adversary was an infamous, ruthless mob boss, who monitored everything illegal in Los Angeles, and made his money from every traffic he could put his hands on - drugs, guns, prostitutes and some less tasteful goods too, while he was at it. He was the worst kind of scum, really, but he was incredibly talented when it came to destroy anyone on his way. Which Mello was.

After Kira’s capture, L’s title was still vacant. There was, of course, the fact that Light Yagami had spoiled the position, by using it as a cover to act as Kira, and nothing would ever be able to erase these years where L’s name has been a joke, but the real reason no one had taken the title yet was because… well, Near and Mello had both arrested him, sort of. And while Mello didn’t like to admit it, he couldn’t have done it without Near, and Near couldn’t have done it either without him. So they decided to pick up the new L the only way they knew : by playing. They had one year to prove that they were the most efficient when it came to catching criminals, and Armando Frozzi’s arrestation could well be the beginning of the end for Near. He knew that his rival was in Russia, looking for a nasty serial killer who mocked the police forces by sending them letters. Everyone was talking about it, not only in Russia but in the rest of the civilized world too, so Mello could be sure that Near wasn’t on his case.

Mello had managed to be hired in Frozzi’s favorite restaurant, the one he went twice a week, always with a date, always with a different date, some beautiful mannequins who barely spoke english and drank too much champagne.

And for tonight, Mello had a plan : he needed to get close enough to the guy to slip a tracker in his bag. It shouldn’t be that hard, but it was mandatory for the follow up of his plan. He wasn’t too worried : he knew how to talk to mafiosi, which string he had to pull. All he needed was some subtlety, and that was his speciality, wasn’t it ?

“Marvin ?” his boss called him, and walk-ran toward him, a disapproving look on his face. “I see two tables that need to be cleared off, and I see you, being payed and doing nothing, can you explain it to me ?”

Mello mentally quartered and skinned alive this asshole who had interrupted his thoughts, but since he couldn’t afford to be fired now, he bit his tongue and started to work, his attention still on the entrance door, waiting for Frozzi to come up at any instant. After thirty minutes where he watched the come-and-forth of these beautiful, boring, rich people, Frozzi’s figure appeared, large and threatening and the manager came to welcome him, in person, hugging his massive body for a brief moment. They were both smiling, but Mello knew where to look : the manager was terrified, and Frozzi’s wolfish grin told him that Frozzi knew it, and was delighted to see how he could affect him.

“Vincent ! How are you ?” he said, with a thick italian accent. “Do you have a free table for me and my friend ?”

Mello hadn’t noticed the person who was with Frozzi, but when the ‘friend’ he had brought walked into the light, Mello almost dropped the plates he was holding.

Because it was Near.

Fucking Near.

It was weird to see him without his usual pajamas, though he was still under-dressed for a place like this, with his too-large shirt and his pants that were falling on his shoes a little bit, but it was him, no doubt about that, with his ghost-like figure and his big, grey eyes. He probably felt Mello’s gaze on him, for he turned his head toward him and offered him a small, amused smile. He wasn’t surprised at all, he knew Mello would be there.

Great.

“What are you doing here ?” he silently mouthed to the albino’s address, whose smile widened a little more, becoming even more annoying, with very little effort from Near’s part. Typical.

The manager lead the two newcomers to a table, and Mello noted that it was in Patricia’s zone and quickly looked for her : she was talking to the barman ( who was also her boyfriend, it seemed ). He rolled his eyes and didn’t lose one second before interrupting their conversation.

“Patricia” he said “I take the 12, okay ?”

“Uh ?” she blinked, her slow, little brain trying to understand what he was saying to her. “Yeah, yeah, alright, whatever you want Marv’”

And she went back to her discussion with her boyfriend and Mello knew he had very, very little time to act. He could throw all his plan through the window, because nowhere was there an indication for the case where Near would be Frozzi’s… what ? date ? The idea was… ridiculous.

He picked a bottle of wine and put on his bet smile before heading toward Table 12.

“Good evening, gentlemen” he said. “Would you care for a glass of wine ? On the house, of course ?”

Frozzi nodded, obviously thinking that his social and professional status was the cause of this attention, and Mello filled his glass.

“Just a little for me, thank you” Near mumbled.

Mello offered him his brightest smile and dropped the bottle. It exploded on the marbled floor, projecting shards of glass and wine everywhere, especially on Near’s outfit - one knew how to touch its target or not, right ?

“I’m sorry” he apologized, looking at Frozzi’s face, all red and angered by the incident. “I’m sending you someone to take care of the glass. As for you ( he took Near’s arm and forced him to stand up ) I will show you the way to the bathroom. Again, my apologies.”

Without waiting for Frozzi to react, he dragged a wine-scented Near to the bathroom and the other boy didn’t put up a fight, beside looking at his stained clothes with distaste.

“There were news” he began when they were finally alone. “Rester bought them yesterday, it was pretty expensive.”

“Who gives a shit ?” Mello snapped, a little too loud, and threw a expectant look at the door, waiting to see if someone had heard him. Nothing. “Will you explain me what the fuck you are doing here ?”

Near shrugged. In the bathroom’s pale lightning, he looked even more sickly than usual. With the red stains all over his outfit, he looked like a corpse. Something that would have been tempting, years ago.

“I guess you could call that having a date. Could I have other clothes ? I really don’t like the smell…”

“What do you mean, a date ? Since when do you have dates with mafia boss ? Wait, scratch that, since when do you have dates at all ? You don’t do dates, you’re… you !”

Mello wasn’t particularly proud of the way his sentence ended but Near had never expressed any interest in the rest of mankind. Nevermind romantic interest.

“Any other day I would be happy to have a conversation on this topic, but for today, you’ll have to accept that I, indeed, do dates. As for the mafia boss part ? Hum… ( Mello’s eyes narrowed, because Near had this shit-eating grin proving that he was about to be an asshole with his next sentence ) I think I may have a type, what do you think ?”

Mello thought about Frozzi, huge and brown-haired and definitely way older than Near - he was thirty-five, almost thirty-six - and frowned.

“How the hell could I know what your type is, you weirdo ? I don’t care, I just want to tell you that I was on the case first, and you are not stealing it from me, I’ve worked hard on my plan and I won’t let anyone take it away from me.”

“I really don’t know what you are talking about” Near lied, even though he didn’t look like he was lying because Near was way too good at this. “Can I get other clothes ? I’m afraid my date won’t be happy to see me coming back just as disgusting as before ?”

Good, Mello thought.

“Also we spent a very long time in there. If I came out without anything different on me, it would be suspicious.”

Oh, fuck you.

Five minutes later, Near walked out of the bathroom all dressed in black - but not in leather, because the world was just not ready for that, in Mello’s opinion and will never be - after he washed off the stains on his skin with the hand soap and surrounded himself with a heady scent of strawberry.

Someone had cleaned up the glass and the wine when they came back and Frozzi was fumbling with his phone - which tingled Mello’s sense and set the alarms off, even if Near didn’t seem too bothered by it.

“I’m back, sorry for making you wait.”

“Ah, not at all, Neal, not at all.” replied Frozzi, looking up with a charming smile. “These clothes are… different ?” he glared at Mello, as if he hadn’t improved Near’s look by his generous act.

“Yes” Near said. “Don’t you like it ?”

His voice was as dull as ever, as if he was trying to spit out some lines he would have learned from a random show on tv. Which was a possibility, Near had some really strange hobbies, after all. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and let them alone, while doing his best to spy on them whenever it was possible ( which wasn’t as often as he wished, for his main area was a little far away from Near and Frozzi’s table ). They were talking quietly, too quietly for Mello to hear them, and Frozzi smiled a lot, touching the albino’s hand multiple times, while Near didn’t react.

It was fine, Mello decided. He could still slip the tracker in Frozzi’s bag. It was even easier since he didn’t have to avert someone else’s attention : Near was a pain in the ass but he wouldn’t say anything if he saw what Mello was doing.

The tracker hidden in his closed fist, he approached them swiftly, pretending to check on the barman ( Patricia wasn’t there anymore, maybe she was finally working a little ), or on some other table where a family was already eating.

And then he saw it. Frozzi slipping something in Near’s glass.

Poison. It was the first thing Mello thought. Frozzi’s ennemies tended to die, poisoned. So that was it : if Mello still didn’t know why Near was with Frozzi, it was obvious that the mafia boss had found out about him and was decided to kill one of L’s successor. Or maybe he didn’t even know about it, maybe Near had been stupid - as weird as it sounded - and was investigating him himself, and because he had the subtlety of a truck, the guy had guessed what he was trying to do.

Stupid Near. Who didn’t seem to react to the poisoning of his drink. When Frozzi raised his glass to propose a toast, Near followed him.

He had to do something.

He almost ran until their table.

“Oh, are you celebrating something ?” Mello asked, forcing them to put their glass down. “What kind of celebration ? Anniversary of your couple, maybe ? Should I ask the chief for something a little more… festive ?”

Frozzi glared at Mello. Mello didn’t dare to look at Near. It wasn’t the moment to try to give him a silent message, it was the time to save his ass, again.

He really hoped that would give him some points

“We’ll be fine without your antics, thank you” he barked.

“Oh, come on !” Mello replied, and he took their drinks in his hands. They were both half-full of red wine, without distinctive mark on them, and he went to the bar, asking for a couple of these ridiculous little umbrellas used for cocktails to put into their drinks.

“Here” he said, bringing back their glass, making sure to give the poisoned glass to Frozzi, just in case he was stupid enough to get back to his plan, though the odds were low. And indeed, Frozzi’s face was ugly, twisted by his rage.

“Which one was yours ?” he asked to Near, throwing any pretense of niceness by the window.

Near shrugged and pointed at Frozzi’s glass. He was still playing the ‘innocent’ card, but there was no way this wasn’t an act, not with everything happening around him.

“This one, I think ? It seems a little fuller ? Or maybe I’m wrong, I’m sorry I didn’t notice”

Frozzi’s eyes narrowed, and Mello could guess that his brain was processing what just happened. He glared at both of them, and Mello saw him do the movement he had seen other mafiosi do so many times, fumbling in his pocket for his gun.

“Shit” Mello mumbled. He didn’t even have this gun, why didn’t he have his gun ? Rule number one : always have your gun. His eyes travelled around the restaurant, trying to look for an escape when…

CRAAAAASHPL

Near crashed the wine’s bottle over Frozzi’s head who passed out immediately because of the shock. Once again, shards of glass were sprayed around the table, and the wine gave a beautiful, crimson color the the scene.

Everyone in the restaurant was looking at them, wide-eyed, unable to understand what had just happened.

“It’s fine” Mello said. “This guy was being a little too forward. Please respect the personal boundaries of your partners or it could happen to you.”

Mello swore Near was smiling, his weird little smile that was so annoying most of the time, but was flattering on this occasion. Unfortunately, someone stood up and went to look for the manager. Time to fly, I guess.

“We need to go, puffball” he commented.

Near frowned, he had probably hoped that Mello had let his string of stupid nicknames in the past, but took out his phone.

“Gevanni is there ( he threw a look at Frozzi’s body, still unconscious ). Is he dead ?” he asked.

“Nope, your boyfriend will still be able to take you on dates and to try to poison you in the future. Love survives everything, you know that, right ?” Mello joked, while they moved toward the exit under everyone’s shocked stares.

“We weren’t on a date”

“Wow, you don’t say, could have fooled me, I swear. Wear a better shirt, next time, it might help.”

Gevanni was parked just in front of the restaurant - which was illegal but who cared, really - and they rushed inside.

“I like this one alright” Near said. “Too bad it’s stained with wine, again. As the rest of my person, I should say.”

He was almost pouting, and Mello grinned, leaning until he was able to lick the wine off Near’s lips. The white-haired boy froze, moving away so far that he hit the back of his head against the car’s window.

“You okay ?” Mello chuckled. “I didn’t cross any line, did I ? I would hate to end up like the poor guy inside the restaurant.”

Near looked at him for a long, awkward minute and then shook his head, his cheeks red but his tone still as composed as ever.

“It’s fine. You’re my type, after all.”