#we can't all be victorian maidens

[cl4ssyjazzy]

Does anyone have a very enlightening article or something about why whenever I'm sick I feel disgusting and sub-human and not worthy of love probably because a woman's only value in a patriarchal society is her desirability and that goes down the board when you are sick and not in a chic victorian way but as in a coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb type of way?

Asking for a friend....

[immediatebreakfast]

I'm still thinking about the practical, and total exclusion of Mina from the Dracula Hunting Squad when her and Jonathan practically scrambled, and arranged all of the documents that they are using right now.

The Suitor Squad and Van Helsing were lost, LOST in the matters of how to proceed after Lucy's death. They only had the Bloofer Lady as a clue, but now that Lucy is finally resting they had nothing.

How many hours Mina spent transcribing Jonathan's journals, then making several copies, then sending Jonathan to search for more paper trail, then teaching Seward himself how to operate and compile the information on his phonograph, the search herself for any weird activity on newspapers, THEN putting all of that information together in a clear, and understandable format for all of them to read?

Literally Mina and Jonathan were a team of two managing all of this information by themselves. In the most literary meta possible, it's because of Mina we are reading the novel Dracula right now.

and what happens after Mina said out loud that all of them should never have secrets regarding this situation? Van Helsing, and the Suitor Squad decided, as very Upper Class Victorian Men would, that Mina the Woman comes first and foremost, Mina the Archivist has already completed her job, and she isn't needed anymore. She is now a Woman that all of them admire! She needs to be protected! Her poor maiden heart wouldn't taket his horror! Don't you think so Jonathan? As her Husband you would want to protect her right? So she needs to remain in ignorance!

I know as a modern reader I can't exactly impose my modern lenses on the text, but since many of these sexist attitudes survived up to the 21th century, then I might as well say today that if something hits the fan in the following chapters for this decision, I'm going to clown on VH and Co. because of it.

[stevie-petey]

hello m i hope you are well. i'm finally reading chap 6 and 7 so that i'm ready whenever you release the final chapter of season 3 and once again, so, so good! i didn't realise how much has happened in such a short time!! here are my thought of chapter 6 before i read chapter 7 so you can get the chapter by chapter update.

Firstly, i wanted to compliment you on how scary you make the whole ordeal. obvs st is a sci fi horror show with elements of comedy, but i felt like s3's biggest flaws was not making the stakes feel as high as they were in certain moments. ofc you can't be held at an emotional tension all the time and there are down to be some low tension moments where it's appropriate to do some comedy, but overall, i felt like the scoop troop's dire situation was not always communicated well to the viewer outside of visual flare due to the actor's being instructed to keep things light and easy in their delivery. this was not the case with your chapter. i was very much feeling dread and horror at the thought of leaving steve and robin behind in the mega torture room together. you've always been quite good at making bug her own character and her own sort of adventure that doesn't depend entirely on steve, but do think that choosing to keep her separated from steve during the russian torture was a very mature writing choice.

immediately, right off the bat, this quote was so good at establishing the tone for this chapter, "it diminishes every sacrifice that has been made, it taunts the blood that has been spilled." reading bug be miserable over all the ways she hypothetically did or did not fail the group is so much more terrible when we keep in mind how much all of their efforts have been undermined, and it surprised me that the show itself was no interested in these fascinating questions. also this part, "All you ever do is try, you will die trying, you just can’t let it be in vain", omgggg bug is soooo "this is me trying" coded (affectionate).

ALSO OMG!!!! THE KISSS!!!!!!!! THIS IS BIG FOR BUG X STEVE TRUTHERS!!!! VAL MY SISTER IN ARMS WHERE ARE YOUUUUU!!!!! BUT OMG M THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!! I was soooo stressed out and everything was going a mile a minute and steve kissed her!!!! he finally did it!!!!! i absolutely love we-are-so-desparate-and-we-might-not-see-each-other-again-so-i-have-to-because-i-cant-die-knowing-i-never-did-it!!!!!! "It isn’t death that terrifies Steve, it’s the idea that he almost died without knowing how you tasted." SHUT UP!!!!!! IF HES NOT LIKE THIS, I DONT WANT HIM!!!!!! I was clutching my heart sweating like a victorian maiden feinting at hearing her lover dying on the sea!!!!! "Urgently, viciously, you scream the only thing you can think of that encompasses all the love and terror within you, “Come home to me!" TITLE DROP AFTER THE FIRST KISS!!!!! STUG ENDGAME !!!!!!! LUCAS SINCLAIR YOU *WISH* YOU HAD ACCESS TO THE FIREWORKS EXPLODING IN MY BRAIN RIGHT TF NOW!!!!!!! A smile spreads across your face when you think about him. The words spill from your mouth without any effort. “I do love Steve.” SHES SMILING WHEN SHE REALISES SHE LOVES STEVE AND DUSTIN KNOWS SHE LOVES STEVE AND SHES SMILING EEN THOUGH EVERYTHING SUCKS BECAUSE JUST THE THOUGHT OF THE OTHER IS ENOUGH TO BRING A SPARK OF JOY LIGHT AN EMBER OF HOPE IN THEIR CHESTS !!!!! YAYYYY!!!!! “Tried promising you I’d come home, angel.” Steve is sprawled on your lap. His eyes are cloudy, he isn’t quite here with you." COME HOME TITLE DROP PART 2!!!!!! WE KEEP WINNING STUG GANG!!!!! SEASON 4 GUILT TRIPS AND PSYCHOLOGICAL TORMENT THAT LEAD TO ARGUMENTS IDC IDC IDK IDK THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!!!!!

Now I would like to take a moment and discuss bug's excellent additions to the generation of action heroes. "And you’ve always evened out your debts to him." Killer line. Great end for a close up shot of her face while a light flickers in the back and the shot cuts to black before we reset in another scene. A tribute to all the action stars of the 80s, truly a brilliant work my you M.

final note, using the chemical SMART WORK!!! I remember thinking during the episode "wow what conveniently weapon-like substance is this that our heroes have stumbled upon and i know dustin and erica used them as well as dustin and erica and bug, i'll be real, i would started throwing them in the russian guards' faces idc idc!!!!

overall, excellent work as i'm sure you know and looking forward to reading chapter 7!!!!

Ps. "She lets out her own content sigh, and you play with her hair as well. They’re still with you. Still whole and alive." challengers core if u think about it. polycule anon kinda spit game on that one.

HI BABY I MISSED YOU !!!

i really appreciate that u like how spooky i make the chapters. i never really understand the weight of the situations theyre in every season until i write them. season 3 especially has scenes they dumb down to make room for more comedy, and while its silly, sometimes i forget that a literal TEN YEAR OLD GIRL is trapped in a russian lair with very aggressive and armed men who want to kill her. like wtf stranger things ???

as for leaving steve, it simply had to happen. i wanted to do something different since most rewrites have them taken together (which is always juicy and i eat it up every time), i just couldnt do it for this rewrite. bug wouldnt leave dustin and erica behind like that. someone had to stay with the kids, protect them, and bug was perfect for that role !!! plus, it made for a GREAT first kiss scene so it was a win all around (your comments had me DYING LMAO). however, i dread the day i rewrite season 4 because i'll have to figure out how to separate steve, bug, dustin or if i even CAN because the teens and kids pair off differently. bug is the sister, the girlfriend, it will be a challenge :(

my sister and i always joke every time we rewatch the show that we would be so. done with living in hawkins. i think the show forgets its own time canon, because wdym every. single. year. thise kids are thrown inti danger ??? every time they think "hey, we won" MORE SHIT HAPPENS ??? i wanted to really emphasize that defeat, the feeling of doing everything right and it still not being enough. you always see exactly what i want the readers to see, its like you look into my mind <3333 you always know the themes im sprinkling in :')

AND YES !!! TITLE DROP !!! took us three seasons, but we made it!!! now, for the actual scene i have in the come home masterlist, that will be in season 4 when steve can finalllly promise bug he'll come home to her <333 and the ilu scene <333 bug loves steve so much and its so natural to her and i wanna cry thinking about them ugh.

THE DEBTS LINE ,,,, i felt so cool writing that thank u for feeding into my nerdiness and seeing the vision ,,, in my head i have a compilation of badass bug scenes that would routinely get edited and the scene with her preparing to save steve and robin is 100% in there. also for the chemicals sometimes the writers leave me no room to question how a plan gets made so im like ,,,, fine i will do it myself u cowards.

finally for the challengers bit i truly didnt intent for the fic to become so challengers coded but ,,,, whew. it is. and i love it dearly.

n i love u so dearly i saw ur reblog tags for chapter 7 and i am shivering waiting for the analysis i KNOW ur cookin up and u always pick apart my fic in ways i adore so so so much <333

[seriously-mike]

History Was Written by the Victorians

or: How Our Image of the Middle Ages Is (Mostly) Bullshit

Close your eyes and imagine a medieval executioner. Without effort, I can tell you imagined someone more or less like this:

Man in a red or black face-covering hood. Most probably fat and shirtless, or wearing some kind of black tunic or apron. Wielding a big-ass axe. Tell ya what, it's bullshit.

This post was supposed to explain how that image came from one Jan Mydlář, a Czech executioner from 17th century, but that claim, stated by one Czech website and repeated on Wikipedia with no actual verification, is also bullshit. And rather obvious one, because Mydlář is famous for executing 27 Czech nobles in the aftermath of the Battle of Bila Hora in 1621 - an event presented in several illustrations, and in none of the contemporary ones the headsman is wearing anything resembling a hood. Better yet, most supposed facts about Mydlář's life come from four novels written by Czech novelist Josef Svátek and published between 1886 and 1889 - even the Czech Wikipedia notes the difficulty in telling fact and fiction apart in them, which kinda proves my point.

I recently mocked the modern historiography as tainted by fanciful 19th century interpretations and outright fabrications, saying that the history was written by the Victorians, and the entire imagery of a hooded executioner is such a fabrication. Along with the supposed torture implement called the Iron Maiden, by the way. So how did the actual executioners dress over the ages? I do recall a post by someone on Tumblr with "history" and "POC" in the username that I can't find right now, and there's also a thread on Quora that answers "Why did medieval executioners wear hoods?" with a long explanation that begins with a paraphrase of "LOL no, they didn't", but let's have a go at it one more time. Particularly that there will be pictures. Yay.

Let's start with this 14th century miniature from Les Chroniques de Froissart, that I picked on purpose: in this one the executioner is wearing a hat that isn't red (by some odd coincidence, three other illustrations from the same book depict executioners as wearing red or brown hats, but still, no hoods in sight). No rule about clothing either - also on purpose, I didn't pick the image where the executioner is wearing a black shirt and grey hose either. Iconography from other sources also has executioners wear all kinds of rainbow pimp gear including slitted shirts and pants not unlike the Landsknechts (and I do remember that the Tumblr post I can't find now also contained several of those images).

This one comes from 19th century, sure, but is supposed to depict the clothing of the Cologne judiciary of 16th century. Now, pick the executioner out of the lineup.

Nope. Not the guy on the right, that one is just a herald. The executioner is the guy in brown coat and red pants. Which also lines up with the contemporary depictions.

Next up, we have a name: Franz Schmidt, the executioner of Nuremberg who worked in the late 16th and early 17th century, shown here beheading a woman for "harlotry and lewdness". In both this illustration and the better-known sketch that shows up if you google "Franz Schmidt executioner", he's wearing fairly spiffy clothing like this blue and gold number or all frills everything in the sketch, and someone quotes books by historians Anna Sunden and Ulinka Rublack that an executioner was allowed to take his victims' clothes unless expressly forbidden (for example, the city council of Augsburg forbade the executioner from taking the clothes of an infamously flamboyant guildmaster he executed).

Even closer to the Victorian age, the executioners still had no intention of wearing hoods, like this illustration that I already made fun of. According to @bizarrepotpourri's research, this is the official executioner of Wrocław, one master Thienel, performing his first job in 1800, which gives me even more ridiculous ideas for a caption, again stemming from the guy on the left tipping his hat. But still - no mask, no hood, not even a hat or a coat.

Similarly, this illustration that @petermorwood brought to my attention depicts the 1820 beheading of Karl Ludwig Sand, a student who assassinated writer and diplomat August von Kotzebue. No hood at all, again.

If anything, the only hint is this display of the gear of Giovanni Battista Bugatti, the Executioner of the Papal States - we have a white hooded robe that would not be out of place in the American South and a red one along with an axe. Curiously, contemporary depictions of Bugatti show him in ordinary work clothes and I wouldn't be surprised if the white robe was intended for some kind of processions or didn't belong to Bugatti at all - it turns out that the confraternity of penitents of the Santa Lucia di Gonfalone in Rome who were tasked with burying the dead back in the day do wear white hooded robes like this, and where an executioner works, there are always enough bodies to bury.

This piece by our national artist Jan Matejko, famous for his portraits of the kings of Poland and the absolutely fuckhuge epic painting of the battle of Grunwald, looks like video game concept art, and of The Settlers slash city builder kind. From left to right, we have two builders, a butcher peeking out from behind an executioner, a senior city guard, two city guards carrying polearms and two trumpeters of which one is wearing armor for some unspecified reason. Okay, so the executioner is wearing a gugel and a cloak, all red everything, but much like the more faithful illustration of the officials of Cologne above, still no mask.

And then, we have this drawing from the June 25th, 1864 issue of the British magazine Once a Week, depicting the execution of King Charles I. Forty years from the last example and what the fuck is this? The guy is wearing an unbelted tunic and some weird-ass handkerchief with holes for eyes that just floats in front of his face. What.

And that's not even the weirdest take of the era. Look at this 1840 colored engraving by caricaturist George Cruikshank, depicting the execution of Lady Jane Grey. WHAT IN THE FUCK. The headsman looks like Dr Neo Cortex in a gas mask and even if we blame it on a bad photocopy, the lighter black-and-white version you can also find online is even worse, because with more details revealed, he's apparently wearing blackface.

"Artistic invention" continues in those two images from cigarette cards - on the left we have a 1887 card from the US, and on the right a 1925 British one based on the costume from Gilbert & Sullivan's Yeomen of the Guard, which kinda absolves the artist as stage costumes tend to be ridiculous like this. On one side, we have a domino mask, on the other a stiff black mask of some kind, both still remaining in separation from reality because it wasn't working out.

You might find similar masks to the one on the right on the internet, either displayed in museums or being sold as former museum exhibits, but curiously they never show up in contemporary art, and neither do some of the more curious torture implements. It's like the Victorian historians and artists misinterpreted old stuff they found, had no clue what it even was (much like the Roman glove knitting helpers) or pretended to have no clue because stating the actual purpose outright was considered indecent (imagine all the well-worn dildos throughout history). This head-up-the-ass tendency continues to this day, as Peter Morwood's post points out in an example of an executioner's sword being described on an American museum's website with several incorrect assumptions, the worst being a claim that it must have been ceremonial because it's pretty - engravings, gilded hilt and pommel, the works. Well, shit. There are tens of extant executioner's swords photographed and most of them are engraved with fairly typical phrases and execution-related iconography, a lot also have gilded or silvered hilts and/or pommels, and museum curators don't usually discount that as "proof" that the swords in question weren't used.

[dangermousie]

Say You Love Me - done

Was it a good drama? Objectively perhaps not. But it was worth the price of admission to see incredibly solid acting from everyone (this drama is old, and so it did not suffer from the phenomenon of idols who may be talented in other things but have no experience with acting being put in just for looks) and tackle themes and characters modern dramas don't really care for - I mean, the gender reversal itself with the two women being the doers and the drivers and both men being passive willing or unwilling recipients of what they dish out is fascinating. Byung Soo, our ML, was a tall, well-built Victorian maiden, suffering over loss of chastity and falling ill from angst and needing permission to take any action and second ML was willing to enable SFL to bang other men as long she wanted it. The two women literally fought and then men only wept. It was also remarkably character consistent; Byung Soo was a lovely sweet puppy of a person and the drama showed what a freaking drawback or even cruelty that could be. (I am still impressed that Kim Rae Won, who in my head is associated with these totally alpha types, played such a weak, submissive, beta boy (because I can't really call BS a man between his youth and personality) so well).

Anyway, eps 12-15, let's go. ML and FL have finally had enough of their psycho significant others and ran off to the same place. This is the first time we see them happy in eps and eps. For someone who was obsessed with his smile, SFL really made sure he never smiles again, this is the first time we see his smile in eps and eps.

But they can't get back together because he feels unworthy and also because SFL has basically terrified him into thinking she will die if he leaves her (which is deeply ironic in light of what is about to happen.)

Because his granny dies (and SFL chooses to bring up what he did with FL at the freaking funeral, because the woman knows no shame or time/place, god when FL dragged her off and they had a fight, it was glorious.)

And that is basically the last straw for a dude who was already contemplating suicide a while back and that was before everything else that got dumped on him. And so our Victorian Maiden ML aka monk boy literally collapses into a unconsciousness and is likely to die from EMO AND STRESS AND ANGST. God, I love this drama.

SFL decides a great thing to do to an unconscious and possibly dying man is to move him from the home he grew up in to her apartment because she doesn't like looking at pictures of him with others in the place. She also doesn't let his friends visit (I am not saying FL, I am saying dude friends) because "I am his wife." She is so insane, her brain should be dissected for study. The best part he's utterly unconscious but he keeps weeping FL's name non-stop over and over and over as SFL is slowly driven insane by that. GLORIOUS!!!!

SFL is, as always, making everything about her - someone else's suicide attempt, funeral of someone else's loved one, someone else's childhood trauma, and now someone else's unconscious murmurs are all directed to torment her, the real victim.

This cracked me up - she always says that when he's about to die but the moment he's not literally on brink of death, she's all...psych!

Bwahahaha how I enjoyed this.

And then they are all so yeah he's dying. Why it does not occur to anyone to take him to the hospital is beyond me. Unless they know it's a Victorian Emotional Illness (tm) so no hospital can be cured. So SFL finally caves and lets FL in to see him.

Guess who magically gets better? Heeeee.

Anyway, YC makes sure he's OK and peaces out. SFL is all fine fine you can go to her, my boy toy, mainly because I think she's (a) finally realized he's literally gonna die at the pace she's going and (b) he's literally ready to bolt anyway, even his obedient self can't take it any more. But also the way he basically desperately asks for permission - I roll my eyes at melo cliches a lot but the power imbalance in this is honestly kinda awful, not just because he's so nice/weak and she's so neither, but because he's so much younger and so much more inexperienced in life and like dude, it's almost like she kidnapped a high schooler and locked him up in her basement.

Except of course she renegs yet again but at this point even the spineless SML has had enough and basically tries to drum some sense into her. But also SML tells her he loves her and I think this helps her because this psycho needs to cling to SOMEONE. So puppy is finally free but that whole being in his house with wedding photo etc was last straw for FL and she's all I don't want him back, it's all too painful, I want no relationship thanks...

But of course it doesn't last long because they love each other like mad and all they need one little push from their fam where they send a clip from her old diary to them blah blah. The way he runs to their place and finds his old bike and she's left there his chastity necklace (yes, I know it was true love necklace but we all know what it was, she even labeled it something like "BS is only mine" necklace back way when) and, more importantly, the paper with "Tag" eeeee! (reference not to just their childhood but their breakup when she told him he has to stay away until she unfreezes him and tags him and then he can come find her.) AAAAAAAA

This is adorable!

Meanwhile SFL swans off overseas to happy bliss with SML, utterly and gloriously unpunished for all the awful awful stuff she pulled.

Moral of the drama: Never stick your dick in crazy.

Or perhaps, maybe if you didn't teach them so much abstinence, dude wouldn't have lost his mind to hormones and avoided all that misery.

Oh, and I really now want to know how heavenly his hair must be for FL to be so obsessed with it she can't think straight.

Anyway, it was a fun ride, and I am just glad I finally found another rare Kim Rae Won drama where he doesn't die or his OTP doesn't die. That man is drawn to misery.

[shining-gem34]

||I can't believe it's Sunday already.

A HC based on Ling.sha drip marketing until we get more information, BUT at the end I think I will keep it.

With Ling.sha having hands and feet being covered in scales, it does leave the question if this is the norm for Vidyadhara. Even though most, if not all, Vidyadhara NPC's we have seen don't show scales. I do think they do have scales, it's just not as big as Ling.Sha OR they can cover it up under their clothes.

I do believe the older the Vidydhara gets, the more scales starts to show up on their body and stay there. 3: Though unfortunately in the case of Dan Feng, he's covered up head to toe like a Victorian maiden so we may never know.

And I'm aware of Dan Heng IL beta model where in one of his idles with the tail showing up/horns grow longer, he does have scales!

In short, Dan Heng IL does have scales! The ones that are starting to appear are hidden under his clothes which is surprising since his outfit has alot of windows. So he is still growing and the older he gets, more scales starts to appear. However, there is something unique whenever Dan Heng IL uses too much cloudhymn magic, more scales starts to show up on his body and face only to disappear when he's done.

:333 It could be sign (my delusions).

Regarding Dan Feng, I do want to HC he does have scaly limbs as well! The scales on his hands cover the entirety of his palm and halfway through the back of his hand (think of like childe/tartaglia gloves). They're a darker shade of blue that gets lighter. He does have patches of scales throughout his body, very sensitive around his inner thighs and ankles.

Dan Feng is aware people won't try to touch his scales, but he isn't fond of the attention it receives. It makes him feel like a guinea pig getting ready to be poked and prodded at. There's also a safety reason for why he wears gloves too, because he has hurt someone with his claws before. Yes, he healed them and apologized, and he will not have a repeat of that.

Not pleasant at all.

[llycaons]

ep35: another slog, but at least nhs is there

gold star, jiang cheng. not physically abusive. really knocking it out of the park

AWW YEAH BRIDGE SCENE

THERE'S the lwj we know. that attentive look, that concern, that clear interest in wwx/ exactly as it should be

they really did spraypaint a leg gray huh

YEAHHHH

god this makes me so sad. wwx doesn't remember that??? he jerks away from lwj a few times this episode, maybe out of embarrassment, maybe because he can't quite believe that lwj is really on his side here

doesn't stop him from going all googly-eyed when lwj just picks him up and goes though

*voice of a touch-starved victorian maiden* SCANDALOUS!!!!

wwx is all over the place postres honestly. he's reluctant to open up to lwj, he'll cling to him for protection, he won't understand why lwj is helping him, he'll demand wine from him in random rooms. and get it

oh nhs is so silly

this story is so insane and convoluted, and also why do all the generations of the nies just keep doing this if it's such a bother after the cultivators' deaths. like at a certain point you'd think they'd transition to swords

like what!! that is so impractical and dangerous!

nhs is really the highlight of this episode honestly. agreeing with wwx about HIS OWN ANCESTORS being arrogant, whew

damn jin ling what did you bring to that tomb. do you have access to bombs

oh he's so funny. lwj literally is his social inferior but he puts on such an act and gives lwj all the power in the room (or appearing to) and FLEEING when lwj gives him permission to leave

god you know the bdsm mind games he gets into must be insane

this was such a sweet moment! idk if it's really necessary bc wwx was always a decent friend to nhs, and this makes his identity a bit suspect, but it's still a sweet moment. so THERE person who 0opsted 'jin zixuan was the only character to change for the better'. you fucking idiot

aww here's lwj cleaning the flute. man coming back from fanfic and you can really tell how restricted the censorship made them. not that I liked how the sex scenes in the novel went but there was licking involved well before that. they could never get away with that here

horny little duet (classic)

damn this was insane

okay god this is so cool because we don't see nmj's face close up during this last scene so it just looked like he's threatening them both but in the flashback from his pov you see him looking at jgy and this is actually him pointing baxia at jgy to IDENTIFY HIS KILLER wheee I love those camera tricks. there aren't a lot in these episodes honestly, all the fun stuff stopped in 33. maybe we'll see it in yi city?

but mostly im looking forward to 40 and beyond when wwx and lwj are closer. they're still kind of unsure and stumbling around each other rn and it is SUCH a slog! let's see that soulmate shit!

liked this little detail of nhs gribbing the stone as wx discuss nmj's death

oh my god and it looks literally exactly the same doesn't it

wwx being like 'that little fuck works for the JINS now???' I feel that

'my junior uncle' oh baby 🥺

yesssss you talk about your hopes and dreams and desires baby!!!

LAN WANGJI DRINKING TIME WHEEEE

personal highlights:

bridge scene was so pretty

hand to hand contact. thrilling

every time they asked nhs for something and he agreed only to realize what it was he agreed to and panic. love him

the clever camera work around nmj's death

lwj drinking because he was upset about SL and XXC

[b-else-writes]

The Great CLAMP Re-Read Part 5: CLAMP School Detectives

Part 1 (RG Veda) | Part 2 (Man of Many Faces) | Part 3 (Tokyo Babylon)| Part 4 (Duklyon)| Part 6 (Shirahime)| Part 7 (X)| Part 8 (Chunhyang) | Part 9 (Miyuki-chan)

I don't know about all of you, but one of my first fond fanfic-adjacent writing experiences was painstakingly creating a magical school rip-off story where mine and all my friends self-insert OCs could go on adventures. And we wrote all this by hand in a notebook! I bring this up because CLAMP School Detectives says so much about CLAMP's doujinshi roots and how that thinking, of a vast playground for their characters to mess around in, was going to shape their opus. I also bring it up because this is self-indulgence to its core, in the way the best and frankly, worst, of fanfiction is. Despite having an expanded anime adaptation, CLAMP School Detectives did not have the lasting cultural memory that their other adaptations did.

CLAMP School Detectives ran from 1992 to 1993, concurrent with all of their early series, and bridges several, with dozens of other references to their doujinshi and uncollected early abandoned works. It is out of print and only had a 2000s Tokyopop English release, of 3 volumes comprising 13 chapters. Again, I read this entirely online and wouldn't pick up a copy unless I wanted to be a completionist. "Spoilers", I guess?

Synopsis: Imonoyama Nokoru, Takamura Suoh, and Ijuin Akira are members of the Elementary School Student Board at CLAMP School. Nokoru has the incredible ability to detect when a woman needs help, and the three precocious children decide to form a detective team that solves the problems of fair maidens everywhere - if only Nokoru could get his paperwork done, to Suoh's despair!

The Story: If Dukylon and Man of Many Faces had barely a story, this is even less than that - it's a bunch of barely mysteries that the trio solve every chapter, with the finale being a flashback to explore Suoh and Nokoru's past and bond. It's a gag manga that relies on whether you think the gimmick of Nokoru being able to sense a woman in danger is funny, and find the little adventures cute, and it just did not land for me. It feels like an overly saccharine attempt at Enid Blyton type school boys solving mysteries (but in Japan), and it was just plain boring. Mostly because they're barely even mysteries - I felt cheated as a huge mystery lover! This is either going to read as really cute, or really boring to you, and it was the latter for me.

The Themes: Uhh.....help out fair maidens. It's a gag manga, if you're doing analysis on this, good for you, but I have a very packed life and I don't think CLAMP wants me to learn anything but "Nokoru cutie".

The Characters: The characters are largely enjoyable but quite plain. Nokoru is basically the perfect little elementary school boy dream, but it's done sweetly enough that he reads as funny rather than irritating. Suoh is textbook tsundere who devotes his life to Nokoru (Ashura & Yama you will always be famous), and Akira is ditzy. There's not much here beyond Nokoru secretly feeling distanced from people because he doesn't want to hurt others. If you like cute wacky elementary school stories, you'll like them. I found them fine. Though I did squeal in fondness when they showed up in X. CLAMP knows how to charm you despite yourself.

The Art: I find this some of CLAMP's weakest character design - Nokoru and Suoh look too similar to me beyond the colour palette, and the different women featured are unimaginative. It's overall decent art, but nothing special or groundbreaking. As someone who devoured RG Veda, Tokyo Babylon and even Man of Many Faces for just how damn pretty and creative they could get, it's lacklustre.

Questionable Elements: I don't know if this is a translation issue, but Nokoru's behaviour is referred to as "feminist", and it is not. This is Victorian era paternalism that women need taking care of and can't be held responsible for our actions because we're the emotional and fairer sex. While satirical, the sexism is still irritating. Also there's another "older person x literal minor bad, but only because older person is a woman". Are CLAMP ageist? One wonders.

Also. There is overt fascist imagery in CLAMP School Detectives:

CLAMP draws them in Nazi uniforms on another cover, and there are MULTIPLE images of the Rising Sun Flag (which is a symbol of fascist WW2 imperial Japan). It's abhorrent and there is much to discuss frankly about how fascist imagery is so ubiquitous in manga.

Overall: Putting aside the REALLY bad elements, CLAMP School Detectives is probably the most unmemorable so far of CLAMP's oeuvre. The characters are charming and the premise itself is not bad, but it never lands. It's a very cutesy, almost slice of life manga, which is just really not my thing because it never succeeds in at least being funny or exciting or anything substantial to linger on. Not something I'd recommend to anyone beyond devoted CLAMP fans, besides the adorable main trio. Say what you will but CLAMP really knows how to make you love their characters.

[alicenpai]

For the art asks - 2 and 14?

hi anon !!

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

characters facing left for sure (I'm right handed). but because of this I think I do try a lot harder at right-facing faces, and most of the time those may end up looking nicer! haha

14. Any favorite motifs

I wish I drew more of my favourite visual motifs more, actually. so if you're surprised by the below I wouldn't blame you LOL because I feel like. I wish I drew from my heart more! I sometimes think my art is really boring if I can be brutally honest. gotta take more risks!

I like a lot of genres of media so understandably my art is all over. people have said this is a great quality, others have trouble pinpointing certain traits about my art, or my interests? and I wish that the things I love were more clear. honestly I feel more like the latter part of a "jack of all trades, master of none" but more like. a little court jester with my jingle hat. in 2023 I'd like to be happier with my art, and draw things that are more interesting/emotional/personal to me! 🏃‍♀️💨

- I love gothic/victorian motifs a lot! overly ornate frames (like haunted portraits), mirrors, flowers, complex drapery, and yes, we can't talk about gothic without the macabre stuff that was present in victorian culture too. sorry for being an edgy 2000s kid but I love skeletons in art... and characters sitting in coffins? chef kiss. Just like. the precarious balance of life and death in art is so genuinely interesting. I once saw in a Waldemar Januszczak art history doc that artists are so unapologetically obsessed with this dark stuff hahaha... 🤧👍 media that come to mind are Ib, Pandora Hearts, Black Butler. non anime media like Dracula, Portrait of Dorian Gray, Sherlock Holmes.

- Theatre/Shakespearean motifs as well. curtains, wooden props, stage sets. Opera, classical Greek theatre, ballet, pantomime, the circus. Shakespearean in the way that the characters are very passionate yet oh so tragic. Like. just in general playing on the idea that stories are plays, and the characters are mere puppets in someone's fabrication. thus things like puppets and clown-type characters in plays are fascinating too. things like, characters as the automatons in automaton clocks are so cool. I also LOVE the concept of dolls, however dolls are? quite frankly? terrifying irl. inspirations: Princess Tutu, lots of tragic stage play themes also present in Jun Mochizuki's work in Pandora Hearts and Vanitas no Carte, Rozen Maiden for the dolls thing.

- storybook themes. European fairy tale illustrations, anything whimsical and old fashioned. Witch Hat Atelier comes to mind, Princess Tutu again, also The Girl from the Other Side.

Dungeon Meshi by Ryoko Kui, Pandora Hearts by Jun Mochizuki

Pandora Hearts by Jun Mochizuki

Heinrich Lefler, Austrian artist. "Der Gevatter Tod", "Godfather Death"

A Russian version of the Swedish folk tale The Wonderful Adventures of Nils, if you know who the artist is please let me know! artist is found - Oleg Vassiliev!

Witch Hat Atelier by Kamome Shirahama

[michaelmilligan]

Midam week day three: BLUSH

(Heed the tags, this one gets steamy)

To describe Michael as 'ethereal' was both self-evident and oddly unfitting, so Adam tried to avoid it, even in thought. Usually, while he could act very high and mighty, Michael was more of a steamroller than a creature of grace. (Which was plenty ironic, considering what most of his true form was made out of.)

Some days, it was harder to ignore that Michael was a heavenly being, though. There were the angry days, when something ticked Michael off so much that his entire essence thrummed with it, power itching to be used, ready to flatten whole towns. But there were also the lazy days, when Michael moved slowly and carefully, grace wrapping soothingly around Adam's soul just as Michael's wings hugged their body.

On those days, they often just stayed in bed. Even though neither of them needed to sleep, they liked to rest sometimes, to shut out the outside world and pretend that they – once again – only had each other.

While that should have seemed scary, being reminiscent of the depths of hell, it could be incredibly soothing, too. Maybe because they weren't used to the buzz of life around them anymore.

Or maybe because being with each other had been the best part of their existence for hundreds of years.

Whatever it was, they needed, or at least wanted, that on some days. So the bed it was.

In the cage, they hadn't had a comfy bed, and for the longest time, they'd had company in the form of the devil, which had dampened the mood a little. Now back on Earth, in the privacy of their apartment, though... well. Adam didn't need to light any candles to get into the right mindset.

Neither did Michael, though he could be a little... complicated.

Yeah, complicated was a good word for it. He'd have protested 'shy' if he'd gotten a whiff of Adam thinking that about him. But 'complicated' he couldn't object, considering his true form alone was more complex than most maths problems Adam had solved (or failed to solve) in his life.

In any case, said archangel was currently busy being complicated. Wings twitching in embarrassment, his grace didn't seem to know whether to come closer to or back away from Adam's soul.

WE CAN'T JUST... THAT'S NOT.. he said, flailing.

Why not? You don't want to? Adam thought back at him, putting as much innocence into it as he could muster. He knew Michael wanted it, had felt the telltale signs of it in his grace minutes ago.

And yet, when the moment of truth came, Michael always behaved like a Victorian maiden.

I'M NOT A MAIDEN, Michael grumbled.

Oops. Adam must have let that one slip through the connection.

It's okay if you don't want to. We'll do something else.

Michael squirmed, grace churning inside Adam. An archangel couldn't blush, exactly – at least not when he wasn't currently controlling a human body – but there was an angel equivalent of it. A specific pulsing of the grace, Adam had learned a long time ago, signified embarrassment.

Michael's grace was currently pulsing in that exact way.

IT'S NOT- He broke off and shuddered when Adam's hand strayed under their t-shirt, tickling the naked skin underneath.

It's not what? Adam asked sweetly, and let the hand travel up and down their stomach.

IT'S... The hand strayed up to their chest, never quite touching their nipples. Michael's grace was still pulsing, but in a different way now. IT'S… I FORGOT. YOU WANT TO...?

Adam hummed, and squeezed one of their nipples. His body reacted, and so did his archangel – wings flapping, he almost pushed them off the bed.

DO THAT AGAIN, Michael asked. It was halfway between a command and a plead.

Soon, Adam thought, he'd get him all the way over that line.

You need to hold still for me, he told him. While they couldn't exactly hurt themselves if they fell off the bed, Adam wasn't keen on having to get up again.

Besides, Michael liked getting told what to do.

I'M STILL, he said, wings spread but unmoving, grace buzzing with anticipation.

Adam squeezed and twisted the other nipple, and his hips bucked upwards as Michael's desire resonated off his own.

Take control of our head, Adam told him, and Michael surged forward without question to occupy that part of their body. It had taken time to learn how to really share the body, but by now they were experts on it, trading different body parts off with ease.

Michael peered down the length of their body, eyes resting on their tented sweatpants for a moment before he focused on the hand coming up to his face. At first, Adam just cradled his cheek, but his thumb soon veered off towards the lips.

As always, Michael was only too eager to take the finger into his mouth. If he could have, Adam was sure he would have sucked their dick with just as much gusto. Unfortunately, even with an archangel inside of him, Adam wasn't that bendy.

While Michael sucked on first his thumb, then his index and middle finger, Adam's other hand trailed lower, pushing down the sweatpants as it went. At the first brush against their cock, Michael sucked harder, taking the fingers deeper.

Easy there, Adam told him, calmly but sternly. You'll gag when I tell you to gag.

Michael immediately eased off the fingers, grace swirling apologetically around Adam's soul.

It's alright. You just wanted to be good for me.

Michael rarely answered that sort of thing verbally, too embarrassed even while in the middle of it, but Adam could feel relief and pleasure radiating off him. Relief because he wasn't reprimanded – Adam almost never did that in earnest, and there was no punishment in bed, unless Michael wanted it. And pleasure... well.

Take off the pants for me, please, Adam said, and the sweatpants vanished from their legs, probably folded on a nearby chair. Adam didn't check, and instead pushed a hand under their boxers. Those too.

The underwear vanished just as fast, and Michael turned their face towards the ceiling.

I want you to watch, Adam said. Maybe he was being pushy, but he was allowed to be that right now, even expected to be. If Adam wanted to order around the first archangel in creation, then he could – because right now, all Heaven's most powerful weapon wanted to be was Adam's good boy.

So of course, he watched. Angling his head down again, he was soon entranced by Adam's hand fisting their cock, skin on hot skin, eased by the pre-cum they always seemed to have plenty of. (Michael had experienced a too dry glide exactly once, and had since made sure that it would never happen again.)

Adam's other hand eventually left Michael's face, going back to playing with their nipples. Their breath hitched when Adam twisted it particularly roughly, and Michael's eyes fluttered closed for a moment.

Keep watching, Adam told him him, and Michael focused again. Good boy.

Michael shuddered, his grace calming even as pleasure spiked in it. Just the echo of an archangel's sensations was overwhelming, and Adam soon felt their body lock up from the feedback loop of grace and soul sending pleasure back and forth.

They came all over their hand and stomach, Michael – both of them – gasping for air.

When it was over, and their body had stopped shaking, Michael stretched his grace comfortably, curling around Adam. An archangel was infinitely bigger than a human soul, but Adam still did his best to cuddle back.

You okay? he asked softly, and ran a – miraculously clean again – hand through their hair.

Michael's grace just thrummed in response, a sort of angelic hum. Pleased. Sated.

Adam just kept carding his fingers through their hair, careful not to push him with words or feelings. If he tried to talk to Michael about what they'd just done, or shared the true depths of his feelings with him, he'd only get embarrassed again. And Adam wanted nothing less than for him to withdraw right now.

One day, maybe they could be open about this, let words and affection flow as freely as their pleasure. But until then, Adam was content to just lie there in the metaphorical arms of his archangel. Resting. Comfortable.

Happy.

[icharchivist]

id ask which slut you prefer between belial and luo because i sure cant pick one

"i'd ask" they say, as they're asking

this is a difficult situation to put me in though...

in term of sluttiness, it's Belial, hands down. Lu Woh is hot and there's definitely an appeal to the whole victorian maiden look he has going on, but Belial genuinely radiate sex appeal to me.

I'd say Belial also have more features i genuinely like (red eyes, messy black hair, wicked smile ect..) but Lu Woh also have features i genuinely like (cat ears, glasses, stoicism which makes any emotion stand out ect...)

in term of characters, Belial gives me the most brainworm to think about and he has been in my brain for a longer time, so he's a strong contender. But Lu Woh is a character i grew attached to extremely quickly and i care about him a lot and i find him very interesting.

(and we are opposing characters who represent life and death, which probably explains even more this divide.)

i can't even use their voice to separate them because on one hand, we have Belial having the sexiest voice ever put to recording, which is genuinely so sexy and have so much going on in the acting that just listening to him is pure bliss. ... while Lu Woh is voiced by a seiyuu i absolutely adore, who voiced multiple favorite characters of mine, and who sang a lot of songs i really love and have in my top ten most listened songs of all time.

They're like. so drastically opposed in my brain that i can't even put them in a proper competition against one another.

If we just compare on a sluttiness level, Belial wins out of being the biggest of sluts.

but in most "which one is your most favorite" criteria, i'm a bit stumped to reply. They don't compare to one another.

So i think your final answer anon is: why choosing when you can hold both of their hands. and more.

[stateofsope]

SEVEN by Jungkook - I think it's getting hot in here

Chapter 2 is hotter than I expected it to be - and I think it's the fault of a soup and Kim Seokjin's wide shoulders.

Knees out, jeans ripped, chest naked - ARMY has to deal with a lot of things since Bangtan started their second chapter and it has not been easy for us.

I'm gonna be honest, I hadn't been an ARMY for too long, when chapter 2 started (I'm a Dynamite ARMY who took a while to realize she actually is one). So I didn't have to deal with Victorian maidens for too long, but I still was heavily hit when a certain someone posted a photo of himself on the beach, wide shoulders out, making us zoom in on that tiny little tattoo.

This is when everything started. (Let's not talk about the soup, that's to be unpacked in a different post.)

I expected a lot of things from Jungkook's first solo song. I knew whatever he has in store for us is gonna be huge and we're not ready. When the promo started, I - like many others - got more and more confused. Is it cute? Is it hot? Is he gonna be a bunny? Will his shirt be on?

Somehow, everything has been right. People on the outside wouldn't even be able to grasp this paradoxical.

On Friday it was finally time. My usual reaction to new BTS songs is usually tears. Did I cry this time? Not right away, because I was too stunned at how perfect this song is. It was a little later when my pride overwhelmed me and the tears started running.

Jungkook tries something completely different than his members. Each and every release since chapter 2 started has been a surprise. They are trying new things, finding their own flow - the first comeback they'll have has a group in some years is going to be insane. They'll all bring totally different experiences into it.

It makes me happy to see that also Jungkook is trying different things. Promo and music wise. I love the feature. I honestly didn't know Latto before and I probably would have never come across her, but she fits the song's vibe perfectly.

I love that Jungkook is featuring a female rapper.

Opposed to what some other people are saying on the internet, I absolutely love how sexy her part is! Her lyrics are awesome, her voice fits Jungkook's, they have a great dynamic within the melody and she looks absolutely stunning in the music video.

SEVEN is a sexy, summer song, about love and... well, you know what.

I do love to call Jungkook my baby (I actually like to call all the members that), but he definitely isn't one. Coming back to some people on the internet - they desperately need to learn that.

Our Jungkook is a grown man, who makes his own decisions and who can take care of himself. He doesn't need some strangers on the internet who don't even actually know him to post their hot takes on his musical decisions.

I love SEVEN. And yes, I love the explicit version even more than the clean one. You wanna know why? Because it means we have fully come to the point, where BTS can do what they want. They don't have to be careful anymore. They can talk about f*cking, can smoke and drink, go party and do whatever the hell they want.

And I'm so happy for them. Let them live their best lives and if you don't agree - there's the door. Leave the Magic Shop. There's gonna be so many others who will be happy to fill your spot.

I can't wait to see what he has in store for us, what his album is going to look like. I know I will love every second of it the same way I love the other member's releases.

[eolewyn1010]

Mina has finally gotten her letter from Sister Agatha via Jonathan's boss, Mr. Hawkins, and is about to leave Whitby to go and pick up our Victorian himbo so he can join the plot again. Also, wedding bells? While Jonathan is still in mental care? Uhm, okay. Whatever.

In the meantime, Renfield does something interesting again, confusing Jack. Renfield feels his Master's presence - that took a while; Dracula has been around for over a week. Psychiatric (hah!) guesses are on religious mania, which is quite interesting with Renfield's life-consuming-to-ascend thing. I guess he does have religious feelings about Dracula and the blood stuff. Jack still makes me giggle when he goes, "he will soon think that he himself is God". Honey, I don't think Renfield's ego is the problem here. Renfield gets more and more "excited" over the next half hour, a wording that puts distinctly and disturbingly sexual imagery in my head, but who am I to criticize anyone's religious ecstasy. Once he goes "quite quiet" (I love Jack's choice of words today), the Doc tries to get him on the topic of his spiders, but Renfield don't give no shite no more. He says something strange and oracl-y about brides that I don't have the braincells to interpret right now because I'm not sure if he means Dracula's brides yonder or Mina and Lucy as he mentions "maidens" which I presume the ladies in the castle not to be, and also this story is not really about them. Jack contemplates taking chloral so he can sleep after all that. Freaking chloral. I got nothing. But the thought of Lucy keeps him from indulging in the little drug ditty. Bless.

Later that night, Renfield escapes from the asylum. Ah, that's why he went all ominously quiet. He wrenched out the freaking window, no less. Metal. Perhaps blood does make him stronger. Worried about Renfield trying to have a snack from a passer-by, Jack runs out and about with an attendant, finding that Renfield does the wall-scaling lizard-style that we already know. What does one even need to be a vampire for? Renfield is doing pretty fine as it is. When Jack catches up to him Renfield is talking to Dracula, although Jack can't see the latter. Also, "I am your slave and you will reward me"? Does Renfield know how slavery works? He delivers a pretty epic fight before he's brought back to the asylum. And expects Dracula's triumph. That's gonna be interesting.

[goose-books]

Viridi 🤢 Been a while since I've brought the bastard up

NOW VIRIDI I REALLY COULD DRAG FOR A CENTURY but just off the top of my head

doesn't wear shoes & then tracks muddy footprints all over the castle

would wear dysphoria hoodies in the modern day but they'd all have, like, "ew, people" on them. cringe trans rep

that kid at your high school who was edgy on purpose to make other people feel weird (not like Creepy but just. Edgy)

"i don't need friends. they disappoint me"

his two best friends are both into him and each other but he can't go all in on the homoerotic bestie polycule because he's got the sensibilities of a victorian maiden and he faints when he brushes someone's hand or sees an exposed ankle

has an actual curse on him preventing him from lying but he tries soooo hard to lie anyway. even when it isn't necessary for self-preservation he just really really wants to

doesn't tell people about said curse

doesn't tell people about the other curse

doesn't tell people about the OTHER other curse

doesn't tell anyone anything even though he's way in over his head with the magical bullshit and if he were literally like 10% more willing to admit it the plot wouldn't exist

two people in-verse know literally every plot twist in TMR. the first one is a ghost and so she can't tell anyone. the second one JUST FUCKING CHOOSES NOT TO

LITTLE LYING ASS BITCH WHO HAS KNOWN EVERYTHING THE ENTIRE TIME

he's sixteen and semi-suicidal so we can't even make proper fun of him i mean he's LITERALLY neurodivergent and a minor

(send me one of my ocs and i'll drag them) (viridi's home WIP which is on hiatus)

[eyes-like-a-pisces]

Rules: Answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.🧜‍♀️

Questions from my astrological twin: @maiden-song 💕

1. if you could choose to glimpse the afterlife, would you?

Yes, I would. I think a lot about It.

2. under what circumstances do you think you past life was lived?

I could have had many past lifes. I think I was a native american, cause I've always felt bonded to their tradicion and same with China, cause when I hear the sound of Erhu - traditional chinese instrument, something wakes up in me. I've also always wanted to see Sweden & Finland, so maybe I was doing something there... I mean, I could do anything. I see myself in biblical times, as well as middle ages. I could be a renaissance artist, as well as dying of hunger during victorian era, or something, and that's probably why I'm still careful with money, haha. For my latest one, I think I could have been a hippie in the 60/70s and had some drug use experience, cause when I was a child I used have dreams about taking drugs, even if I didn't know anything about It. I also had some experience with psychics (and "psychics"), my mom had a past life regression and she told me she saw me few times... I don't take anything for granded, but reincarnation is one of my favourite theories.

3. what three skills would you instantly master if you had the choice?

Playing every instrument, speaking every language, singing beautifully

4. would your rather no passion or no pain?

No pain. Everything is needed in life, but you know, enough is enough.

5. if you had a chance to leave this world and go to another one, would you take it?

Depends of the world and who I would meet there. Even if this world can be cruel and disappointing at times, I still have some love for him and humanity.

6. if you could smell like anything in the world, what would it be?

Like the first day of spring, when you go outside and the air smells different. Or a storm.

7. do you feel like common interests or philosophical comparability are not important?

They are very important. I can't imagine a relationship without similar interests, views. You either get bored or fight constantly. I think that the whole point of searching a partner is trying to find things you got in common. The more similar you are, the more understood you feel and more you are attracted to them. That's my experience at least. That's a very basic example, but as you may noticed, I'm very much into music and I was dating a guy, who wasn't into music that much at all. I thought It doesn't matter at first, but then I started feeling like I'm missing my favourite way to connect with other person. Once I met a guy who loved music as much as I do, I'm sorry to admit It, but my partner became unattractive to me.

Similar interests and views are needed at the beginning, to bond with somebody, and later, to simply enjoy spending time together (thanks Captain Obvious). I mean... chemistry and good will are not enough for a relationship to last. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to be identical and agree on everything - some differences can be inspiring, balance your relationship and teach you something new. It's also ok and even needed, to have some separate hobbies, things that you like to do on your own. There are also other important things, like, if you equally care about each other and if you are on the same page in general, but I can't imagine not agreeing in the key points and things that are the most important to you. And the only person who can decide what is the most important is the person who is in that relationship, no matter if It's about interests, philosophy or religion. But beside a romantic relationship, I think It's good to be surrounded by different people and listen what they got to say.

8. if there was one mystery you alone could learn the answer too, what would it be?

The mystery of life in general. Why we are here, is there any destiny, how we are connected, how this universe works, what happens after death...

9. in your opinion, is there anything more important than love?

No :) (I'm not talking about putting your relationship before other things. I'm talking about love as a big force and meaning of this universe)

10. describe a new planet you would live on, if you could.

I want things to be diverse, monumental... Maybe another moon, why not. As a concept of the world, I wish there would be peace :) everybody has their safe place to live, will to live, passion, purpose, someone to love and who loves them back. Amen.

Questions from @mybloodiedvalentine 💕👯

1. What is an unpopular opinion you hold you about which you feel strongly and with which you seem to notice a lot of people disagree?

Nothing specific comes to my mind at the moment (that I haven't mentioned before). I sure have some, but what's unpopular opinion in general and what's unpopular opinion on tumblr, are two different things. Maybe, that the "tumblr positivity" is not really helpful. Like: "in case you need to hear this: you are smart, you are loved... ". How do you know that? Those are just empty words. But It's better to spread positivity than negativity, of course.

2. What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever told you that you can recall?

Oh, I had a few situations like that... This is so lovely, when a stranger wants to just be genuinely nice, not just catcalling you...For example, when I was with my 3 girlfriends at the club and 2 ladies in their 40s where like: "excuse me, we just wanted to say that we can't stop starring at you all, cause you are the priettiest girls in the club." And we were like: aww, omg, you are beautiful too, come dance with us. And we were all dancing in our witches circle ignoring all sweaty men around us, haha. Or when my mom went to the the same hair saloon as me and asked hair dresser if she remembers me and she said that she does and that I'm nice and intelectual. I'm her faithful client now ;_; (Sorry for sucking my own dick, but It was nice to remind myself about these situations).

3. Has a piece of art or music ever made you cry? If so, do you remember a specific moment? 

Crying to music is my passion. The latest intense moment was few days ago. I was loading a dishwasher at night and I played some music and then "lover you should've come over" by Jeff Buckley came on and sudden wave of lonelliness hit me so hard, that I just had to put down the plate, hide my face in my hands and weep ✌

4. What’s your favourite piece of clothing?

Idk, maybe my Penny Lane coat :)

5. What’s a random childhood memory that fills you with a deep sense of comforting nostalgia? 

Sledding with kids during a very cold winter in my home town, until It got dark and snow looked like sprinkled with glitter and having my freezed feet warmed up with a hair dryer, when I came back home, haha.

6. What is/was your favourite thing about your mom? If not your mom, your dad? Or best friend?

My favourite thing about my mom is that she's tolerant and open minded. I didn't have to lie to her or pretend I'm someone I'm not because of that. My favourite thing about my dad is that he actually cared about being a parent, even tho my parents divorced. I respect that he has unwavering morals and huge knowledge about a world - biology, astronomy, music, art...- subject doesn't matter- but he is very modest about It.

7. What’s something you learned on your own of which you’re proud?

Playing guitar

8. When was a moment in your life you remember laughing the hardest?

I was playing cards since I was a kid. After few years, when I was about 13 y. o. I got the first poker, a royal flush. When I saw my cards, I'm not sure why, I just coudn't believe my luck, I started laughing so hard I almost died.

9. What do you like to do when you’re having a hard time mentally that invariably calms you down?

Really depends of the kind of situation and if It's triggered by something or just a longer period of time feeling in a certain way. The is no a magic trick, but some things might be helpful. When It's concrete situation, at first, when the feelings are really intense, then I just can't calm down. Every try to do so, has a reverse effect. Like, I CAN'T THE FUCK CALM DOWN and It makes me even more angry. Brain needs about 20 min to chill, if It's not triggered, so It's better to be left alone and just go mad a little until brain will have enough haha. Have a good cry, listen to some music, have a lonely walk, write my feelings down etc.

I like to listen to Teal Swan on youtube. She's a spiritual teacher. I know, It might not sound encouragingly, but she actually seems very down to earth. She has a video about like, every emotion and every problem ever. She's very good in naming feelings, rationalizing them and It makes you feel more understood. And It calms me down as result. ASMR doesn't work for me, but I remember that at some point I liked to listen to sounds of the nature, like rain, waves etc + guided meditation to fall asleep.

Music always helps in general - listening, playing guitar, singing. I also like to take an oil and do a face massage. I'm really sorry if I sound like an instagram influencer 🤢, but when you feel bad for a longer time, you frown and there is a tention in your jaw, it can be really relieving. I follow instructional videos on yt.

When I have a longer period of going into downward spiral, then every way to distract my brain is good - TV shows, internet content that is not related to my life situation (although, sometimes It's good to distance yourself from social media), for example, I like criminal podcasts, cause they are occupying enough to distract a miserable brain, meeting somebody, going to a place I've never been before. + any kind of shedule, reason to leave the house, any goal, anything positive to look forward to and having even the simplest things done, is a blessing (even if sometimes It's the last thing I wanna do). I also tend to be much sadder in the evening, so I just go to sleep. When nothing works, then It's time for the professional help.

10. Do you have a favourite holiday memory?

Discovering Cocteau Twins.

Best regards if u actually read all that chatter, but those questions were so interesting, that I couldn't limit myself to one sentence answer (in most cases).

My questions are:

1. Who or what was the most influential for your music taste?

2. If you could time travel, where and when would you like to go first?

3. If you could be someone from an opposite gender for a day, how would you like to look like and what would you do?

4. Do you have a style icon/inspiration? Or a favourite designer? Desribe your dream clothing style

5. What's the song by a band/artist from your country that you could recommend? (From your hometown or state eventually)

6. What is the most rebellious thing you've ever done?

7. Has ever something in your life happened, that you coudn't explain with logic?

8. What 5 objects someone could use to summon you?

9. What is your favourite name from your culture's language? And outside your culture's language?

10. What's a song you normally wouldn't admit you like or different from music that you usually listen, but still enjoy?

I tag: @winterdryad @bowiepop @nightmare @confusion-in-the-sea-of-sorrow @l0w-budget @numberoneblind @mirandasinclairs @mysticbride @leperwitch @comeacrossthedesertnoshoeson @hexafu @mielmelancolie @arcane-delight