#we aren't talking about it <3< /div>
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short n sweet stobotnik drabble (660 words) based off of some heinously adorable ideas from a mutual :'^)
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Stone hears the sharp tak-tak of metal sensor caps clicking together and has already set all the pans on the stove to simmer before he’s properly recognised the sound. The version of the doctor that eagerly takes up space in his mind even when he’s off the clock gleefully crows about “clicker training”. He doesn’t bother taking off his apron, but he does toss his dishcloth onto the counter on his way out of the kitchen.
When he rounds the corner and enters the main lab, he spots Robotnik at his secondary desk, still trapped in a remote meeting with Walters and some other stiff-necked higher-ups. He doesn’t acknowledge Stone’s appearance with anything other than a simple gesture-- index and middle fingers crooked, come hither my dutiful henchman. Stone comes hither. Keeps his steps silent and measured in case the doctor is un-muted. When he comes just within reach but wisely out of camera frame, Robotnik drops his hand into a different gesture: all fingers curled except the index, which points down at the floor beside his rolling desk chair.
Stone spares a longing thought for the dinner he’d been halfway through preparing, but he kneels obediently and shuffles closer to the doctor, keeping his head out of frame. Robotnik’s face doesn’t betray so much as a twitch, deadened stare fixed on his webcam in a way that Stone knows makes everyone deeply uncomfortable. Stone gets close enough to his chair that his head nudges the doctor’s down-stretched hand, and then stills as those gloved fingers begin carding through his hair. This late in the day, his styling gel has all but given up the ghost, and his hair ruffles easily between the doctor’s fingers. The metal of the sensor caps warm quickly to his skin but still give him a bit of a shiver when they trace over the shell of his left ear.
The doctor’s other hand pats at his thigh after a moment of silent petting, and Stone shuffles forward the last few inches needed to close the distance between them. He settles himself carefully with his arms folded over Robotnik’s lap, letting his cheek rest against his arms while his torso leans against the doctor’s legs. His foot-tapping, leg-bouncing ceases immediately, and a nigh-imperceptible amount of tension leaks out of his frame. Jackpot, Stone thinks, and settles in for the long haul.
Robotnik smooths his hand from the crown of Stone’s head to the nape of his neck, then down across one shoulder to play across the bare skin of his forearms. From there, back up the opposite bicep to neck to crown again, a constant circuit of contact that makes the droning Zoom conference more tolerable. Stone closes his eyes and listens as best he can to the sound of the doctor breathing deep and even, the rasp of fabric when his gloved hand brushes against his shirt, catching on the folds where he’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. The occasional tik-ta when the sensor caps connect.
When Robotnik eventually has to verbally respond, his voice is a little too loud for the proximity they share, but Stone hangs off every word. His hand has stilled, lightly gripping the back of Stone’s neck like he’s trapping him there, ensuring he won’t go skittering back to the kitchen while Robotnik focuses his attention elsewhere. Like there’s anywhere that Stone would rather be at the end of the day.
Eventually, the call will end and Robotnik will release Stone back to his cooking without any words exchanged on the matter. Eventually, Stone will finish making dinner and they will eat at the kitchen island and Robotnik will rant and rave about the new budget adjustments and the new mandatory conference in Houston. But for now, Stone lets the doctor dig his fingers into his pulse-point, pin him in place like an unruly lap dog. For now, Stone weathers the storm at the doctor’s side, mooring him in the tide.
#stobotnik#iggy fic tag#fic#something short to celebrate my spring break starting!#i feel like i haven't been posting very much lately but it's only because#i've been doing a TON of writing#and also work was soooo hectic the last few days#but hoping to put more content out soon!#i'm nearly finished with the last of my stobotnik week entries..... yes i know i'm late but shhh#we aren't talking about it <3
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absolutely enamored by rose quartz's body type and character design. especially after the pink diamond reveal. like, girl CHOSE to become a fat woman. and everyone around her (rightfully) thought she was incredibly hot for it. queen shit.
#eliot posts#su#steven universe#rose quartz#i could complain that she's the more conventional plus size model body type w curves in the ''''right'''' places#but im not going to#cuz this show came out in the mid 2010s on the tail end of the ''thin is in'' era#anything other than a size 0 being portrayed as attractive was fucking groundbreaking#hell a lot of that fatphobia is still up and kicking#it's still hard to find enough fat characters (at least. that aren't villains or laughingstock) let alone ones portrayed as HOT#anyway iirc seeing rose as a teen straightup made me have a minor sexuality crisis#her first couple episodes didn't do it. like something about her in lion 3 looked Off and i didn't like how her hair was animated#but by the time we got to 'we need to talk' ohhhh boy#she was so fucking pretty the way she looked the way she moved and talked#rewatching that ep as an adult i was still like HELLO
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Ja'Marr Chase Crying Compilation 💜
#i finally did it#been saving these clips for years lmao#now let me clarify that they aren't all him ACTIVELY crying#just to round it out i included a few where he's clearly very near tears (in interviews and such)#we got it all here baby! happy tears! sad tears! frustrated angry tears!#truly a compilation just for me and a few other sickos on this website <3#ja'marr chase#cincinnati bengals#joe burrow#(is in it a bit. of course)#had a Rough morning and then the rest of the day off#decided to spend the afternoon finally making this to channel negativity into something /somewhat/ productive lmao#crying and being like! speaking of crying! let me finally get this done like i've been talking about for years#PLEASE let me know if i forgot anything. i'm sure i must have.#anyway. my pisces angel <3 <3#truly nothing better in this world than a man crying <3#(OH MY GOD IT TOOK AN HOUR AND A HALF TO UPLOAD AND THE QUALITY IS HORRIBLE!!! THIS AWFUL AWFUL WEBSITE!!!)
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moth-flowers #21
#moth flowers#comics#my art#blood cw#autobio comics#pen and ink#Made this one a few months ago a little after we first made out and i was lowkey getting rlly obsessive and it sucked ass#Like recognizing its infatuation doesn't make it go away as it turns out ToT#Anyways. we were fwb for a while and it was cool n chill then they ended it. and i thought i was cool n chill and over it but SIKE#They get a BF and I am consumed by an overwhelming amount of the Jealousy Beast and overall lots of Big Emotions.#That was what the 'dyke drama' post was about btw#Its been a few days I'm doing a lot better and I'm greatful for that. lotta help from my friends by just hangin' out and talking and asking#For their opinions n shit. been pretty good. made a cake and it fucks and im so sexy for that actually#Like damn the person who was lowkey my ideal partner told me they weren't in a place for commitment#And then they get into a commitment. and although i know it realistically wouldn't have worked out in the long-run (I'll b moving. they def#aren't) I was still fucked up about. But I bet I'm a better cook than him. and also sexier and cooler#(IM ACTUALLY FRIENDS WITH THE GUY AND HE'S PRETTY COOL BUT ALSO LIKE. LET ME BE A PETTY I THINK I'VE EARNED IT)#Annnnywayssss. This is lowkey one of my fav comics i think :D i mean i feel that way about most of them.#But i REALLY like the way the perspective n stuff turned out. like ough fuck yeah#And i make references to the last line all the time with friends that I've shown this to.#ramble in the tags#Thank u to whoever is reading this. pls share ur thoughts and experiences! connection and shit is one of my fave parts of this <3
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got these two asks right after each other and I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt so I'll answer these nicely <3
1. Why are the siblings in love with each other?
short answer: they aren't in love with each other. they just have a weird platonic love + lust thing going on. like they wouldn't date each other.
long answer: Damsel and Noé are both individuals with incredibly weird and skewed views of normalcy, especially when it comes to intimacy. Noé latches on to Damsel as the first kid to try to really get to know him in the orphanage. Damsel latches on to Noé because he's willing to do anything to keep her safe and she's never felt that security before.
anyways Damsel feeds into Noé's weird "I have to be first" mindset because it makes sense to her from a power standpoint and that extends into his already strange protectiveness of her. and Damsel lets it happen because...why wouldn't she? he's been the one constant in her life since he came into it. he's been protecting her since they were kids.
2. Why do you like incest?
this made me laugh a little ngl. mm...I really wish I had a straightforward answer. incest [in a purely fictional setting of course, nonny. let's keep that in mind <3] and it's forms [stepcest, pseudocest] interests me in like a "wanting to explore the psyche of why you ended up like this and how it affects the people involved/how they will justify it" way
but also like idk just horn brain says it's hot sexy. who am i to disagree? sometimes I just like freak shit anon. blame the hitachiin twins from ohshc, it all started with them I believe
#anyways i just wanted to answer these even if they aren't asked in good faith for like future reference#anon I'm fast and loose with the block button and i can and will ignore you if you start harassing me (˶◜ᵕ◝˶)♡#thanks <3#the void whispers back#damsel drops lore#cause i talk a bit about Noé & Damsel's mindsets and how we got here
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Hello I have once again upset myself thinking about Logan an the effect Aurora had on him and his relationships.
Walter is a father figure to him and HOBW and their relationship is in TATTERS, and as far as canon shows, it's never mended.
Does Logan believe the man who raised his sibling and took care of him after Sparrows death died hating him? Does he believe Walter only saws the bad in him? Does it have any impact on his decision to go into his self-imposed exile? Does he regret not telling Walter about what happened to him in Aurora soonee??
Did he and Walter ever have a chance to reconcile, to speak of what happened to them on their respective trips to Aurora? Did he ever express regret for Logan feeling as if he couldn't speak of what happened to him?
Did Walter ever embrace Logan as one of his own again, or did they stay away because of their history?
#fable#fable 3#logan fable#logan of albion#king logan#walter beck#SORRY I'M CRYING IN THE CLUB ABOUT THEM#especially because....I don't think walter knew about logans experience in Aurora until we find out in game#its said no one believed Logan; But i swear; i know in my heart of hearts Walter would have#or at least would have tried to#like we talk about walter and hobw relationship but realistically he probably saw Logan as his boy too#like these are his kids even if they aren't#Walter saw one of his surrogate children fall into madness and become a tyrant; and had no idea why#because no one else believed Logan when he spoke of what he saw; and Logan freshly traumatized and being written off as a mad man#chooses not to tell one of the most important people in his life and it leads to everything becoming so much worse#leaving him with only Theresa who knows what hes going through; and giving Reaver a greater influence on him than he should have on anyone#which is a horrible duo to have as a support system they do NOT support health#Logan in his attempt to not worry or frighten those he loves most he ruins their relationship and becomes their enemy#and I'm loosing my mind over it
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periwinkle garak for your appreciation 💠
#garak#elim garak#garak fanart#star trek ds9#long haired garak#a sketch that will probably never get finished the way it deserves<3 oh well#aren't we all a constant work in progress?#pencil#my stuff#inspired by someone talking about post canon garak growing out his hair
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To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?
Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.
What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?
the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail
but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it

and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)


"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no

or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻♀️
or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?
but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on
because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago
Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him
that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)
but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).
"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.
so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her
which, did not happen :)
and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))
2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl
man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.
anyway
what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)

and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"
but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked
that's the difference
#this is 100% unrelated but reading the older chapters had me realize how Cana's hair is a lot curlier than in the anime#my girlie's waves got straightened T^T and they were so gorgeous too#also love the translator's notes at the end of each volume <3#fill me with so much joy and why they chose to go in what direction for each translation#this post is longer than i thought oops#like i was gonna leave it at 'bc Natsu stayed for her' and then be done#but no i can't just leave it there and not back it up#also me saying Natsu stayed for Lucy is not me trying to undermine his other relationships in the guild#Natsu's bonds with Fairy Tail are the very core of this story so to say that he loved any of his guildmates less would not be right#his love for Lucy is different#it started the same but shifted as the arcs progressed#his priorities with her are different than they are with his friends and guildmates despite being on a fairly even level#fun fact! i started writing this 6 hours ago. had class. got distracted w/ old ft plot while searching for manga panels. and now we're here#btw: this is not excusing Natsu's act of leaving without so much of a warning. this is just explaining his personal rationale and emotions.#ofc Lucy was right to feel upset and betrayed for being left behind by Natsu and then to be alone bc the guild disbanded. i would too!#but we aren't talking about that. we're talking about what makes Natsu's feelings for Lucy different from the rest of the guild#also sorry i got a little lazy with the manga panels after the first couple T^T and mayhaps distracted (rereading Igneel's death is sO fun!#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#nalu#fairy tail nalu#ft meta#also like how natsu loves is very open and through action#no matter whether its familial or platonic or romantic#how he shows it is the same fierce protectiveness and attentiveness#personally i see natsu's love being in equal fervor for all. none really trump over the other. they're just different
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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tried to redo my old lou ellen and her romans-turned-pigs fanart featuring an updated character design :>

(i still have no idea how to do backgrounds so. uh.)
#lou ellen blackstone#'okay lou we need to talk about the-' 'no' 'but the pigs aren't-' 'no❤️'#we have basically no info on her so i'm making her my south asian queen lmaooo#not happy with like. 80% of this but the hair was fun <3#hecate#pjo#hoo#toa#pjo hoo toa#pjo fanart#glow gabs#glow does art
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking#to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed#and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about#'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know#has reinforced that for me#'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect#then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie#I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3#They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that#anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them#cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit#I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse tw
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Watched some clips and live videos and stuff from the 2022 tour this weekend... It was so awesome
#also wandered through sparks socials posts from that time. reliving the past vicariously through these#ofc first things first doing this so i can get more into the headspace of the upcoming tour so that it truly hits all the more#strange side effect is that i find myself thinking 'why aren't people talking about this!!!' over this stuff but well the thing is#it's safe to assume that people did very much talk about this. when it took place those 3 years ago. but anyway can we talk about it again#like how they played get in the swing and the rhythm thief and wonder girl and so much more#and we love each other so much... classic moment when i hear a song that i've only heard like two times before after some time#and have the biggest HOLD UP this is unbelievable moment and wonder girl was so good i didn't think it'd be that great in this rendition wow#i think i need some more album 1-2 songs on this tour too because it's crazy how great they sound with russell's voice now#moon over kentucky 21×21??? that's the official vocal version of that song for me. it's like it was written with russ' present voice in mind#and even besides tour stuff there were things like. that middle finger trophy they got for the annette soundtrack i think? lol#also. sparks the kind of guys to post 'so THIS just happened' when they get a prestigous award at cannes festival. i love them a lot#and we'll be getting all this goodness again guyssss. the shows but also the glorious and one of a kind tour photos the whole new album etc#it seems to good to be true that i'll be at the shows too. like seriously. PEOPLEEEE. i can't even properly say how excited i am for this!!!#one more thing is those show photos that are like. first you get pre-show R&R standing in a vacant hall looking vaguely concerned#and then you get those end of show audience photos and before you there are the two happiest looking guys that you've ever seen#the power of a sparks show.....#goosepost
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I cannot stress enough the scream I scrempt
I just want ONE trip through Falkreath without something (dragons) dropping from the godsdamned canopies
#and we aren't going to talk about the 3 imps and 2 trolls up the hill from this shitshow#pandemonium all a-fucking abound#make it through Falkreath without some bullshit challenge#at that point I was looking through her inventory at the potions shes inevitably gonna be downing to keep herself .02 seconds from death#legacy of the dragonborn#Avram Shazir#man was doing the work ill say that#the fact i didn't die after this recording is a shock#oc: rhin#skyrim#tesblr#tes#modded skyrim
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#19.3 Unravel
It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.
Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.
They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.
Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"
Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"
"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"
"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."
"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"
"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."
"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.
Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.
"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"
Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.
Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.
Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"
"There's always a chance–"
"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."
Grace fell silent and went still.
Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"
"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"
"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.
Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."
"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.
Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"
"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.
Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."
Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.
"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."
Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.
Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.
Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."
Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.
When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.
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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point#I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty#like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue#writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way#I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone#Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have#also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial#maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace#because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die#not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth#that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths#so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo#but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save#Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask#see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#bam#25th bam#jue viole grace#khun#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#shibisu#ship leesoo#rak wraithraiser#hatz
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Things could be better, if you were to ask Ishida (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Yanderapy#More little half-started ideas that haven't quite made it to their full concept yet! Huah!! Finding the focus for it has been hard#Which he helped express lol thanks Ishi <3 Not that he's happy about it lol#First one is again kind of early on in their relationship - Ishida's bringing up something he knows Micchan likes#He's heard him talk about cats! Let's talk about cats! You like cats! Why aren't we talking about cats!#Micchan isn't trying to ignore him he's just focused on other things#They'll get it worked out but there was meant to be dark comedy in here somewhere!#Hopefully I'll come back to it - I want to! I'd like it expressed how it is in my head#The good of note-taking haha#Angy Ishi is having a bad day poor lad#He's usually fairly composed and able to put on a happy face so once it gets up over that edge you Know he's in a bad way#Stressors and things just not going well#The best comfort is some Mitsu hugs of course#Which he's happy to give but he's always worried <3#Unlike you! Want you to be happy or at least better!#Just act as his battery he'll be back to his usual self soon enough#Sometimes it really does just come down to support while low ♥ Watch over him as he recovers :)
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