#this post is longer than i thought oops

[fluffypotatey]

To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?

Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.

What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?

the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail

but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it

and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)

"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no

or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻‍♀️

or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?

but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on

because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago

Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him

that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)

but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).

"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.

so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her

which, did not happen :)

and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))

2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl

man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.

anyway

what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)

and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"

but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked

that's the difference

[autisticlalna]

oops we're giving Cloneby an identity crisis

so a thing about Rubyco is that they, along with the rest of Team FAVR, love to bully us. Ruby also slips in and out of character on a dime, which means any conversation in the lore-discussion channel in the SBK Community Discord can get interrupted by a patented Rubyco jumpscare:

we've had to try and work around Cloneby before. that's why Solar's conversation with R.C. happened-- they were hoping to cause interference, which didn't work as planned. there's also been plenty of times where i've said maybe a bit too much and had to quickly backtrack when i realized a Cloneby Moment was in progress:

but this time, when Cloneby listened in, things got a bit... weird.

you might recognize that as the quote i used in this art. anyway:

at which point Cloneby withdrew. (also: thanks, viking, that killed me.)

but, hey, speaking of that art. i linked to Ruby's reblog of it for a specific reason: the tags.

ah. um. hi, Cloneby.

(Ruby being a menace in my notifs is nothing new, though. hi rubert <3)

a couple days later, we have the reason why i started drafting this in the first place: i drew more Cloneby art and got a reaction.

there's been a little bit of discussion about if the clones know they're clones or not. the answer seemed to be yes in context, between Avid telling Cloneby they're "better than the original" and Trone's weird "totally Trog. not anybody else." bit.

but... it looks like Cloneby has no idea. she's aware that there's something wrong, and that people (sbkers and fans alike) treat him differently, but doesn't know why and it's starting to get to zem.

so... what happens next? is Cloneby going to put two and two together, or are they going to be stuck in a spiral of feeling like they have to match up and fill a hole they don't understand they're filling? is ce going to change, to ask questions, to try and build a connection, or does cer dedication to cer job and the illusion of "saving people" run too deep? what happens when she further misaligns?

i'm having clone emotions and you're all going down with me.

[libra-cant-just-dance]

MIRRORED WALLS CHAPTER ONE IS HERE!!!!!!!!!

The wait is over! Come and get it!!!! I'm very excited for this fic and I hope you are too :)

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Hand over the little beasts

on it boss!! o7 this took . fuckig Forever bc i had t doodle everyone since the screencaps i have for them have like 5 pixels Total and would be Incomprehensible so <333 Behold My Beasts!!!

team control team!! they r so silly 2 me :] more abt em under th cut bc uhhhh. yknow.

- Jacob - Snow White's Apple (+Penitence) my first little guy!!! he has a very serious and to-the-point demeanor, and has a very flat inflection on... pretty much everything about himself. he's the one that most embodies his role, for lack of a better term. takes his job very seriously, and intends to do well. his attitude is very dry, but he is very genuine and earnest when it comes down to it in an odd sort of way. he's the type to say something completely off-the-wall entirely stone-faced, and will oftentimes take things said to him in a similar manner. there isnt that much that seems to be able to catch him off guard. if theres something in his way, then he will simply have to overcome it. he'll try anything once. jacob is very intent on keeping things orderly, and will enforce this with his peers if he needs to. bluntly. chaos and a lax attitude are the catalysts to things going wrong, so its as simple as minimizing the chances for this to occur. simple. despite his nagging with the rest of the team, he means no sharpness by it-- he's direct (and maybe a bit... heavy-handed,) but he simply talks to others the way he would address himself, and sees nothing wrong with it. (unfortunately, this makes him come across as rude more often than he'd like... not that hes usually aware.) because of his unexpressive exterior, its oftentimes very difficult to get a grasp on how he thinks or feels about things-- especially since he himself seems to pay it very little heed, even when he Maybe Probably Should. one of the ones most likely to work himself to death without realizing it. hes doing his best ok.

- John - Sound of a Star (+Wingbeat, Hornet) very lax and lackadaisical-- hes insistent on doing what he needs to and very little else. in fact, he makes a very big show of it; always taking his sweet time, not really showing concern for much of anything, even when things are, as they say, Kind Of Really Bad. (Jacob tends to need to prod him along more often than not.) despite this, john is actually one of the more reliable agents of the facility-- always getting things done thoroughly and efficiently with very little instance of error. truthfully, he's actually very prideful in the work that he does, and quite enjoys showing off his skills when he gets the chance. infuriatingly, he tends to respond to questioning of his abilities with a flippant "im just that good." and well... its honestly what he believes. truthfully, he has a complete aversion to genuineness of any kind-- responding to questions with snarky remarks or quips, complaining about assignments, cracking jokes in the face of catastrophe. its... honestly more of a nervous habit than an active choice. in his eyes, if he cant do anything about an issue, theres simply no reason to worry about it. and so he coasts along, completely unruffled on the surface. at first, he didnt really see what the big deal was about the facility. everyone always spoke like it was a death sentence-- but it was just kind of poking some creature or another and leaving a few times a day and that was it. so he let his attitude reflect that. but once things started climbing, he began to slowly understand just how out of his depth he was; and his demeanor... didnt change. why should it? why bother? confidence was half the battle anyway, no point in showing your weakness. honestly, he has no idea what hes doing and simply acts the part-- it just hasnt burned him yet. (not to mention, with how serious the rest of his team was... well, they could use the encouragement.) and well, if it works... who cares about what lies underneath, right? no big deal. just get good.

- Jose - Lament (+Lament) the asiyah layer's special errand boy. for a good while, he was the team's most skilled employee-- always taking care of things cross-department due to being the only one who could really cover that role. watching newbies, working with new abnos, tackling faraway ordeals... that was all on him. and he didnt mind at first, really-- he enjoyed doing good work, being relied on by his peers... but um, well, he'd love maybe a little break, once or twice, thats all... but there's always more work to do, so... he was the first to work with fotb-- certainly not the last, but definitely the most Common. he also happened to be the most Receptive to it. already he was pretty high-strung from the pressure of his responsibilities, but... it was safe to say things reached an entirely new level after that. he wasnt used to abnormalities being so reasonable, for lack of a better term, nor to be able to just... have a conversation, like that. maybe he was listening just a bit too genuinely. they dont want anyone to die. they really dont want anyone to die. but theres nothing really they can do. just keep running! just keep your head up! if anything else, just stay alive! but at this point, death really isnt the worst thing that could happen to them in a place like this. truly, the worst has already happened. there's no escaping the facility, after all. but what could he do about that? so he repeats like a mantra; just dont die. just dont die. please just dont die. he wants to do good so fucking bad. so much is on his shoulders, and he Has to carry it. its practically compulsive. he has to do it because nobody else can. nobody else should Have to. and so he fusses over just about everyone, completely unable to speak of Why it is he's suddenly so skittish-- especially because of just how busy his responsibilities keep him. he just cant stop. theres no time. every second wasted is another chance something could happen. not once, though, did he really worry about himself. the contrast was stark-- constantly running himself ragged for the sake of others, yet paying no heed to his own safety. all that mattered was carrying out his tasks... which made things difficult as the stakes kept rising, but his own capabilities did not. the people he worried about were suddenly able to do things he couldnt even imagine-- and he was struggling paces behind them. he pretends not to notice how much more of his time is spent waiting. its... how do you deal with worrying about those facing trials far beyond anything you know, and you yourself are fully unable to reach them? it was best not to worry about it. ...he was never much good at that, was he?

- Mabel - Mimicry (+Noise, Mimicry, Our Galaxy) hes just some guy. like... he just works here. kinda stands out like a sore thumb, honestly, because of how strikingly... normal he was. a little awkward but well-meaning, prone to wandering (and slacking off...) he mostly just took care of smaller tasks and issues for a while-- coming in so late comparatively, he fell pretty far behind, pretty much just working on zayin level abnormalities well past day 20 or so. more often than not, he was the only one in the control team's main room while everyone else took care of pressing tasks cross-facility, only getting to share a word or two of pleasantries before they had to run off again. he knew the work was important, but... well, everyone always looked so sullen. he could never really understand why-- and whenever he brought it up, it seemed to just sour the mood... after a while, he just stopped trying. things suddenly changed, though, when the facility got its first aleph: nothing there. and somehow, he was decided to be most fit to work with it. it was strange, to say the least, mostly taking care of things that barely seemed to acknowledge his presence and then suddenly... that. hed be lying if he said he wasnt afraid, but this was his job, and he was trusted with it. so obviously that meant they knew he could do it, right? right. things switched around very quickly. he wanted to say it wasnt a bad thing, but... it was weird, is all. going from some nobody standing alone and aimless to... tackling things that shouldnt exist, killing things with power he isnt sure is really his. a lot of things were suddenly like that, honestly. he. suddenly feels like he has to be on his best behavior. um. is this thing on? manager are you seeing this? he gets a lot quieter after that. as it turns out, hes very harsh when he doesnt mean to be. hes honest, but sometimes that honesty could hurt. hes a bit intense… everyone else was, so it kinda rubbed off on him. hes compensating for his own lack of interest in bloodshed. he wants to be respected, but it just ends up scaring people. he isnt quite sure how to stand up for himself now. he just does what hes ordered bc hes never had a choice before, so why now? he needs to figure out who he is again– the ego did quite a number on him. he kinda fucks up on interactions way more than he thinks he used to. he keeps himself small and quiet so he doesnt accidentally trample over anyone. (he doesnt like the strange looks the clerks give him now. he doesnt exactly Like his ego gear or what it does to his brain, but it keeps him safe, so... hes here to help, remember? don't be scared...) honestly, he does really yearn for kindness and gentleness. its just… hard to admit. especially to people he still subtly thinks are above him. hes not stupid. he knows abandonment when he sees it. he cant really blame them for it, but… it still hurt, yknow? he wasnt Supposed to be anything, which was insulting, but now that he Is everyone treats him so differently, and somehow thats even More insulting. hes more than just a machine yknow… but, well, if that's his job, then. whatever.

theyre basically just.... a bunch of randos who are all trying their best, got disillusioned and distant, then suddenly clung together after realizing just how fucked everything was all of a sudden. theyre all overwhelmed, but theyll be damned if they dont look out for each other. jose was team captain first, but after some shuffling, the title fell on jacob. they all seem much happier with this.

they all honestly bounce off of each other really well despite everything-- jacob keeps everyone facing the right direction, quickly and calmly guiding the team. john provides a more lighthearted energy, but also is very skilled at keeping a level head and offering clarity when the others get overwhelmed. jose and mabel both cover for everyone else, but Especially each other after their own respective... trials. despite The Horrors, theyre all honestly keeping each other together very well.

bbbbut thats only four of them right? five to a team and all. well the fifth is um, well. yknow, its. well,

(also heres everyone elses sprites from various places in th playthru bc ilove them :] yay)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[fandom-reblog-central]

Fandom (dpxdc) Thought 2.5:

Context: Halfa!Jason Todd, ghosts communicate through emotions, liminals can do it to a lesser extent

Jason unknowingly keeps trying to push emotions to his family, not realizing he’s trying to communicate. With his family’s awkward outward reactions combined with the lack of response to his core, he feels isolated. Even thought it’s an accident on both ends, it has an effect on him.

To make it a bit worse, the batfam is liminal with all the death in the family and Lazarus exposure. They accidentally reject the emotional conversation from Jason’s core, so neither party knows why Jason is so on edge, but they don’t push for answers.

Danny (bad reveal, good reveal, literally Just Vibing in Gotham—whatever works) hears Damian’s core humming or trying to trill/chirp, and of course he has to help the sick liminal/baby-halfa core. With a LOT of bonding, Danny gets Damian to drink some healthy ectoplasm, and he feels a lot better. He even brings Jason over, knowing the connection to the Pit was stronger in his older brother and wanting to extend an olive branch after the… everything.

Once Jason starts feeling better and Frostbite is brought into the conversation, Damian realizes he can’t hide this from Bruce forever. And, with how many people in his family—hell, his contact list—had been exposed to the Lazarus pit, or gotten caught up in time shenanigans, or had been killed, it was best everyone knew. With Danny’s only request being “say I’m a meta instead of a ghost,” Damian goes to his father’s study.

(Forgive the ooc/awkwardness I don’t normally write fanfic lmao)

Damian entered Bruce’s study. “Father. I have something to inform you of. We have made a terrible mistake with Jason.”

Bruce’s train of thought pauses at hearing his youngest call Jason “Jason” instead of “Todd.” He looks up from his WE paperwork. “What is it, chum? Is he okay? Are you okay?”

“We are both well, Father. It is…” He grimaced and visibly tensed. “You have to promise to not be angry with me.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at hearing his youngest say such a “childish” phrase. “I will do my best. I’ll at least let you finish talking first.”

He knew this was the right thing to say when Damian relaxed slightly. Therapy was a wonder.

“Um…”

Oh. Oh no. Damian Al-Ghul-Wayne was not one for uncertainty—especially not in a conversation he started.

“Go on, lad, I’m listening,” Bruce said in as gentle a tone as he could (without getting too patronizing for his proud little Robin).

“I met a meta of a ghostly nature. He assessed that there was Lazarus Water in my body, and when he replaced it—“

“He what.”

“You said you’d let me finish.”

Bruce pulled out a notepad, jotting down bullet points to return to.

[Pit in Damian?? REPLACED?? Unknown ghost meta]

“Once he replaced it with the healthy alternative, I found…” He swallowed. “I found that I could more easily accept and show love. My time in the League played a part, of course. However, the Lazarus Pit had an effect on me as well, latching onto my desire to be worthy of a place here. I essentially have a rudimentary organ that runs on and communicates via emotion. Jason does as well, and his is stronger than mine. We have unknowingly been rejecting this more emotional form of communication, making him feel unaccepted and misunderstood.”

[emotional organ??? Accidental rejection? Possible to learn emotion communication?]

Damian shifted his weight under his father’s intense and worried Interrogation Glare™️. “Now that we know the problem, and are attempting to rectify it, we feel much better. Due to everyone around us being exposed to death, the Pit, or time travel, Jason, the meta, and myself thought it best if everyone was made aware. Our meta friend has a doctor who has specialized in this organ and the culture surrounding it for decades. He can apparently better help us manage our health alongside a regular physician.”

[meta doctor. Contact… everyone]

Bruce set his pen down and didn’t move for a few moments. “Are you finished?”

Damian nodded. “Are you angry?”

Bruce let out a long breath, closing his eyes. “I can never tell. Fear and rage feel a lot alike when it comes to protecting my family and my city. You’ve gone against a lot of my training, which displeases me, but I still love you, and I always will. We’ll see what your punishment is when I get more details. I don’t want to punish you for good outcomes, but the methods are important, especially in our work and at your age—“

“You can stop now, Father. I understand now what Drake means when he says he doesn’t know how to respond to the sincerity therapy has given you. I’ll gather the family for a debrief.”

Bruce opened his eyes to see his youngest wincing a little at the emotional vulnerability, but something else caught his attention.

His son’s green eyes faded to blue.

[temtamtom]

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell ask games 39, 4, 1 ghjg and 7!

39. Most addictive personality?

Definitely Romano! He's genuinely so interesting and funny, I'm always so happy whenever he pops up in the comics. I can't get enough of this man...

4. What's a headcanon you need to work out?

I have so so many headcanons I'm rotating in my mind and trying to figure out. But lately I've been thinking an awful lot about Holytalia, and how their relationship evolved over time. Did they get married? When and how? Did Vene stall and stall and stall until the people around him just forgot or lost hope? How did his relationship to "Marriage" as a concept change over the years? How would it impact him now in more modern times? Etc. etc. I'm mentally throwing things at a wall right now and seeing what sticks.

Another headcanon I'm definitely trying to figure out is what EXACTLY Veneziano represented pre-unification. Different people have different answers, myself included. Currently I'm riding the "Feliciano was a being that represented the entire region of North Italy, despite all the entities and city states that Did Whatever(TM)" wave. I guess it's sort of on a similar wavelength as Holy Rome, though not exactly the same. I think it's an interesting perspective to explore- him bouncing around from place to place (of his own accord or sometimes by force), having a bit of a "fractured" sense of identity compared to many of his contemporaries, and also suffering from intense migraines because everyone is beefing with everyone else and GOD-

But on the other hand I also love exploring Veneziano as the Republic of Venice, which makes him even more of a foil to Romano. Republic vs. Kingdom, Independent (up until a certain point) vs. being conquered and fought over by a bunch of people. etc. etc. It also gives me the opportunity to play around with my northern City States OCs <3

Do you relate to your favorite character(s)?

Sweden my pookie <3 He is me and I am him <3 We share a deep kinship <3 a deep bond <3

Also because it's you and I know what you're getting at, yes, I do relate to Veneziano. Like him I do 20 million forms of art, I love fashion, I drink alcohol, I blaspheme, I eat polenta, I love women, I-

7. Food-related headcanon?

Veneziano Magnagatti-- 💥💥 (/ref)

More serious answer: This is very self-indulgent, but one of my fondest memories as a kid was helping my grandma and aunts make fresh pasta every once in a while. So I like to imagine the whole Itafam gathered around a kitchen table making all sorts of pasta by hand. The TV is on but none of them are really paying attention to it- too engrossed in their gossip and their work. Also making passata di pomodoro with freshly-harvested tomatoes... augh.. yes...

[transfemzedaph]

mezelean king joel but when hes younger and not yet king and he spends his days exploring in the woods and painting and drawing all the beautiful nature

one day he sees a wolf off in the distance as hes walking and he watches it - it didnt see him

he sees this same wolf a few more times and each time he studies it more, trying to remember every detail so he can be able to draw it

hes out in the forest in a small clearing, one of the sunnier places in the whole woods, drawing this wolf over and over, frustrated with how he can never quite get it right, he thinks its the eyes, every time he draws the eyes, they look wrong

hes so focused on the drawings that he doesnt notice that same wolf coming up behind him until he feels the warm breath on his neck

he drops the sketchbook and scrambles away but the wolf doesnt follow him, it just looks at the current drawing - unfinished - and sits

joel stares for a few moments at this weird behaviour from the wolf before retriving the sketchbook and drawing the wolf again, it ends up perfect this time - joel did always draw better with the subject in front of him - and the wolf plods over to see the final thing

from then on joel spends a lot more time in the forest, bringing food along with him, and some snacks to maybe give to the wolf

the wolf isnt there every day but joel doesnt mind, he feels safe in the forest now, he doesnt think anyone will hurt him

----

its months later when he encounters a man in the woods, he is tall and broad and for some reason, wearing sunglasses

joel gives the man a friendly smile before continuing on his way

joel ends up seeing the man quite often in the forest and he always offers a smile or a friendly wave, one day he decides to actually speak to the man

from then on joel has a new friend, ren he says his name is, he feels familiar to joel but he cant quite place him

joel notices the wolf is never there when he is spending the day with ren, sharing food and talking for hours, ren always steers clear of certain topics though - where he came from, where he lives, his family - joel doesnt push it though

the wolf is still as friendly as ever although it seems more tired and injured than it always used to be

months after getting to know ren, joel stumbles -literally- across him, his sunglasses are broken on the floor next to him and his shirt is in tatters and he is covered in wounds, his breathing is shallow and joel wishes the wolf was here to help

he carries him back to mezelea, thankfully he wasnt too far into the woods but its still hard going

its a little over a day before ren wakes and the healers inform him immediately, he rushes over to see him and winces at the sight of the bandages around him

joel reaches for rens hand as he sits beside him, telling him how worried he was and ren, turns his head to face him, opening his eyes slowly

joel freezes in the middle of his sentance at the sight, those eyes, he knew those eyes, he had spent countless hours agonising over how to draw those eyes

ren who was up until this point still only half awake realises what he just did and curses and frantically tries to explain himself

joel stands to leave and ren reaches out, hissing in pain at the movement and joel cant help but turn back to fret over him

joel tells him to leave it for now, that theyd talk about it when he was better

joel visits ren every day until he is better but its awkward and they mostly sit in silence before joel finds a reason to excuse himself

in the end ren comes to joels room as soon as he is allowed to leave, joel lets him in and ren sits on the bed, awkwardly looking anywhere but in joels eyes

joel walks over and sits down next to him, gently nudging him with his shoulder as he did so

and then ren just spills it all, how he had always spent most of his time as a wolf because it seemed easier than losing people again but then he saw joel and he drew him and treated him like a real friend so he wanted to try again, to be with people again but he didnt think itd get this far, he didnt think hed end up falling in love with him and then he didnt know what to do, because he saw how sad he was when the wolf wasnt around but he didnt really want to be the wolf as much anymore

joel stays silent until the end of the explamation but then- you fell in love with me? and ren who didnt realise he had said that gets all muddled up and doesnt know what to say but joel just kisses him anyway

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

'Nother random angsty robot idea. Targeted mostly at DJMM, but could work for any non-human robot. The less human the better...but I'll just be saying "DJ" here. (Basically what I'm saying is if anyone wants to do something with this idea and a different character go for it.)

At one point, DJ had a crush on a human. Maybe the human even returned it to an extent, at least enough to give dating him a try. But dating a giant spider bot is not without its complexities. But they did have some amount of genuine affection for DJ's personality and mannerisms.

Just not his body. They were intimidated by his large side, being engulfed by his hands was off-putting, and they so desperately wished for a partner they could just walk hand in hand with through the park, just hold each other and kiss like any other couple.

Besides, don't DJ want those things? Doesn't he want to be held by them? To feel their arms around him?

Truthfully, the thought is a bit intimidating. But this is his partner! He shouldn't be intimidated by getting a hug from them! What kind of partner would he be if he didn't want that...?

So he convinces himself he does. Somehow, he gets a new body. A more humanoid one. (Think some of the Glamrock DJMM fan designs out there.) His older body is still around, though he only uses it for his shows. In fact, his "real" body is now no longer allowed to leave the stage--guest interactions are done with the humanoid body only.

It seems fine at first, but DJ never can get over how small he feels even as he still towers over most humans. He feels vulnerable, especially when someone has their arms around him, no matter how friendly their intentions are. This causes him immense guilt, but he can't figure out how to make himself stop feeling that way.

Things start going poorly with his partner. DJ doesn't want to be hugged or held most of the time, nor does he wish to leave the West Arcade even though he can. All the things they thought they'd get if DJ were more human, they've barely gotten. Yet DJ's not as human as they'd prefer, even though he's far more human than he'd prefer.

They refuse to interact with him in his real body, even though he misses the feeling of them snuggling against his cheek or sitting in his hand.

Eventually, DJ and their partner break up. For whatever reason, DJ's still force to mainly use his humanoid body for the time being. Maybe some kind of budget thing with Fazco or maybe he just genuinely believes his new body SHOULD be preferable and he just still needs time to get used to it.

Then he meets you. You're patient with him and give him his space when he's in his humanoid body. And you're actually willing to interact with him when he's in his real body. You sit on the stage and have conversations with him (probably via ASL or text or something, I imagine his normal body is mute, still debating if his humanoid body is too). You even sit in his hand from time to time, and let him hug you to his cheek.

Eventually you piece together that he really only dislikes physical contact in his humanoid body, and he gives you some excuse of "I still have to get used to it is all" and you ask "Should you HAVE to get used to it? Is that really what you want?"

And blah blah blah, eventually the humanoid body is retired and you and DJ are together and happy and themes of self-acceptance, not changing for others, and being seen and loved for who you truly are all around!

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Normal, Sparrow, and something about heroes

EDIT: Raised the "read more" cause tumblr wants to make self-rbs a nightmare smh smh

Y'all it's so difficult to write ANYTHING lol fuck... But yeah yeah definitely got some post ep. 30 thoughts. Do need to start with some explanations/clarifications on my general stance regarding Normal which is mostly for the mutuals LOL and they know that so if things appear to lack a bit of context on that front well that's why.

There are some things regarding Norm where I lowkey almost don't want to say anything because I'm sooooo wishy washy myself ahahaha and I feel like I'm definitely gonna end up writing some stuff here and be like "ehhhhhh" later on but what can you do what can you do.

I guess I can at least start by saying that when I say that like, Norm can be self-centered, or prideful, or something to that effect, I am *definitely* not trying to say like "this negates Norm's compassion" or that like, Norm needs to be made to feel bad about that? I hope I'll be able to explain what I mean properly here but, a lot of my feelings regarding Norm's more negative traits do genuinely come from a place of concern for him??

Yes I think Norm can be self-centered, yes I think it comes from a place of loneliness and insecurity, yes I think it bleeds into his actions in a way that can negatively impact both himself and those around him, and yes I think that all of these things make him very very VERY similar to Scary... Is my general stance atm but let me, let me *try* to explain what all that means for me LOL.

I think Norm is a good person. I don't think he's *the most* empathetic or selfless or kind character we've seen in the show, but I also don't think he needs to be, or ever will need to be. He has a good heart (all the teens do, yes that includes Scary, fight me), he *does* care about other people very much, and like the other teens his frustrations are valid and generally pretty justified!

But I think Norm is someone who, perhaps pretty fundamentally, requires a pretty high level of external validation and social acceptance to feel loved, has generally gone most of his life not having that need met outside of his immediate family, and is pretty all-or-nothing and rejection-sensitive when it comes to this validation. I don't think Norm is a bad person for any of these traits (at all), even if it can impact his interactions with others negatively at times. No, above all else, these traits lead me to feel quite concerned and altogether just kinda sad for Norm.

And that's where things get a bit messy. On the one hand, Norm *is* a kind person, with good intentions, and even when I feel most frustrated with his actions, I don't take them as coming from a place of malice or ill-intent. But Norm wants to feel loved so bad, and his conditions for feeling loved (as aforementioned) are very difficult to meet, so, yes, (I do personally feel that) Norm often does, largely without knowing, prioritize this endless search for validation over other things, and having this at the forefront of his mind so frequently does inhibit his ability to truly connect with the people around him and (in many cases) actually *empathize* with them.

The difference- the difference for me between Normal and Linc with regards to Scary isn't whether or not they *care* about Scary. Even if it's a bit old now, I didn't write a whole thing on Normal/Scary and Sparrow/Lark parallels because I don't think Norm cares about Scary. Normal has *absolutely* put a tremendous amount of effort into trying to keep Scary around, to disappointing results that are justifiably frustrating for him. Normal and Linc both care about Scary, the difference for me, and what I just find so spectacular about Linc compared to all the other teens here, is that Linc goes *beyond* himself when he breaks the pic. He's not the first person to care about or try to help Scary, he's just the first person to do so in the way that she actually needs- because his general selflessness allows him to be the first person to actually *understand* Scary. He's not the first person to feel *for* her, he's the first person to feel *with* her. That is... Well I guess that is also to say that when I use the word "empathy" I mean it fairly precisely.

Which also isn't... I'm not trying to knock Normal (or Taylor) in saying this btw. The teens ALL have their strengths and weaknesses, and this was simply a moment that brought out one for Linc and another for Norm (vice versa can has and will be true at other points in time). Normal not being able to do what Linc did here is not something I'm trying to hold against him. With regards to their argument, I genuinely think that they both have plenty of reason to be upset, and ultimately it's all just one big misunderstanding. Still, I do personally think that much of why Norm is so upset with Linc in this scene has not so much to do with Scary nor with the Doodler- but is in fact at least in part Norm feeling rejected by Linc (invalidated, unloved, etc.), and acting out accordingly. Additionally, I think these feelings get in the way of Norm actually being able to understand and appreciate why Linc did what he did. They were both hurt, they both lashed out. I'm not trying to gloss over Linc's part in this either, I'm not saying one of them was right and the other was wrong or that one was mean and the other wasn't, but from what I've seen at least it seems people are almost unanimously siding with Norm on this one without much consideration for the points Linc actually makes here, choosing instead to focus solely on what *Linc's* hurt caused him to say (without acknowledging of course that in Linc's case too it comes from a place of hurt), and that much is a bit frustrating for me admittedly.

I wouldn't have expected or wanted Norm to behave any differently in this scene than he did. I think everything about Norm's behavior makes perfect sense for where he's at, and "where he's at", for me, isn't "selfish kid who doesn't care about other people" it's "scared kid who feels rejected and alone". That said, I think if Norm wants to get any better he, like all the teens, needs to start introspecting a bit more and work on himself.

And when I say that, I'm not saying "Norm is prideful and needs to be more humble" I'm saying, Norm needs to get to a place where he can feel loved, and allow himself to be loved, without it being so all or nothing.

Enter Hero!!! The chosen one! I kinda don't get why some people are just seeing this as Anthony trying to bully Norm rather than a very important opportunity for growth!!!

This feels like a point that could be easily misconstrued, so I'll try to be careful? When I say that Hero being the chosen one is an opportunity for Norm to grow as a person, I am NOT saying in becoming more humble or something like that?? Normal's pride isn't his fatal flaw, it's an afterthought of it, a manifestation of it, a defense mechanism vis a vis his fundamental insecurities, if you will.

Normal, as I see him, is convinced that he will only ever be loved, that he will only ever have "solved" love, when he is validated in absolutes. When he is the most popular boy in school who is friends with everybody. When he's the hero of the story. When he's the chosen one. If part of him sees himself as being without flaw (or the best part of teen high or whatever), it's not because he's some arrogant little brat, it's because he can't imagine himself as being lovable unless he is perfect. He isn't selfish for feeling this way, but from an outside view I think it's fairly easy to say that if Normal continues down that path, he's never going to get where he needs to go.

Hero being the chosen one, not Normal, gives Normal an opportunity to learn (or at least start to learn) that his perceived prerequisites for love (of himself) are false. Normal doesn't have to be the hero of the story. He doesn't have to be a hero. He doesn't have to be Hero, it's enough to just be Normal.

Sooooo... I think it's pretty ironic that... Upon learning that Hero is the chosen one.... So many people have jumped the gun and assumed that this means... Sparrow doesn't love Normal.

HAHA THAT'S RIGHT THIS WAS ABOUT SPARROW ALL ALONG YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS MAN NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER

But seriously, wow, it pains me sometimes how little faith people have in Sparrow. Hero is "the chosen one"... So every single time Sparrow has relayed how much he loves Norm goes down the drain?? At a most basic level folks, your child can be unplanned and still be loved, actually. Some might even say that that's... normal.

But do you get what I'm trying to say here? The assumptions much of the fandom has made about Sparrow and his love exactly reflect the toxic trains of thought that will probably be plaguing Normal's mind and feeding into his insecurities as the whole Hero thing develops?? And these insecurities (and again false prerequisites for love) are exactly what Normal needs help working through???

But let's move away from the Norm side of things a little bit, cause the assumptions being made about Sparrow currently are much more vast than this.

Let's make something clear. We don't know Sparrow's side of the story. We don't know Lark's side of the story. And of course, we don't know Rebecca's side either. We don't know if Rebecca did or didn't know about the prophecy. It seems that at this point in time, the spouses have had their memories erased. *Not necessarily* the case, but I genuinely can't fathom a scenario in which Cassandra somehow doesn't notice that the father of her child is always kind of a little bit on fire- and conspiracy theorist Rebecca to me also might hint at the fact that at some earlier point in time she would have known more about what's going on? But that's purely speculation, obviously.

So why are we suddenly so sure of Sparrow's intentions, feelings, and *role* in bringing Hero into the world?

I... Well I've been reluctant to bring this up even though the notion has been an itch in my mind since yesterday, but eventually you see enough upsetting Sparrow posts that someone needs to step up and offer something new I guess.

So... Allow me to suggest that, Sparrow being against the idea of having a child purely to fulfill a prophecy, and refusing to partake, actually makes *more* sense.

Most especially, if Sparrow was adamantly against going through with such a plan, we now have the most sound and in-character reason so far to explain... Why Lark slept with Rebecca.

(*gasp*)

As I see it anyways! Because, yeah, it's always felt like a weird elephant in the room, and I don't really feel satisfied with the existing theories at all! Someone with as strong as a resolve as Lark sleeps with the wife of the person who means more to him than anyone cause... He was horny? Or maybe as part of some strange convoluted ploy to push Sparrow away? I'm not saying these aren't still valid possibilities, and I'm not saying that this theory I'm proposing is what happened, really it's an assumption based on an assumption, but nevertheless I think it would make a lot of sense honestly.

(More specifically, what I'm suggesting is Sparrow not wanting to go through with the plan, Lark seeing it as a necessary evil to deal with the Doodler- and we know how hellbent Lark is on dealing with the Doodler, and accordingly "doing what needed to be done", as he is one to do, of course at Sparrow and at least in theory Hero's expense.)

This would also make sense of a lot of Sparrow's more extreme behaviors towards Normal, particularly the question of his name. Through this lens, it was perhaps an affront towards Lark (and possibly Rebecca??), an assertion to the effect of "no, you will not do this again, this child will not be doomed to be a hero". This, or something less aggressive but in a similar vein.

Of course this puts Normal and Sparrow at fundamental odds with one another! Er, despite being so very very similar which isn't what this post is about but still... Anyhoo, yes, there is an important conflict at play here, wherein Normal, as we discussed earlier, sees being the hero (the chosen one, what have you) as the only way to solve love, to be loved- and Sparrow who, more than anything else, doesn't want anymore heroes in the family, because he loves his family, and what happened with Henry... Can't happen again.

[lumenflowered]

🏠

Something's changed in Yharnam. Djura can feel it in the air. The night was long, but the sun rose to a Yharnam changed.

A Yharnam nearly emptied, if what the Hunter willing to spare the beasts under his protection had to say was of any substance—he hasn't worked up the nerve to slip in himself, not yet.

The Hunt is over. There hasn't been another Hunt for many days since. The bells of Yharnam are silent, suspiciously so.

His beasts... less agitated than they've been in years. He only wishes his allies, his friends, had been here to see it too.

The most recent fell in the shadow of his tower, fighting the very Hunter who'd agreed to spare his beasts. He hadn't expected her to agree. Hadn't expected her to apologize, either.

He never knew what happened to the second. But the youngest of them, and the first to fall... he met his end upon the blades of the Crow.

The only warning Djura receives, atop his tower, is the near-silent swish of a feathered cloak. He turns, weary, to meet with a familiar beaked mask.

They regard each other silently. Djura doesn't prime his Stake Driver. She doesn't raise her blades.

"Eileen," Djura greets with a nod. "What news of Yharnam?"

"Little left of it now," she replies. "Do you know how long it has been?"

Djura shakes his head. "Weeks?"

"Months," she says, and all Djura can think of is that he was better able to keep track of the time when he wasn't the last survivor of the Powder Kegs. "Did you have any visitors during that final Hunt?"

"One. Novice Hunter, a Dreamer." He pauses. "She bore an axe like that... what was his name..."

"Gascoigne?"

Djura nods.

"He turned." Eileen sighs, the sound full of regret. "She killed him."

Eileen didn't? Huh. The new Hunter must have gotten to the poor man before she could.

"Never mind that," she continues. "There were a few survivors, sheltering in Oedon Chapel. All sent there by her."

"...Were?" Djura asks.

"When it became clear just how little of Yharnam remained," Eileen says, "they decided it might be better to leave."

"They did?" Djura raises a brow. "Yharnamites?"

"With some encouragement," Eileen allows. "There is little left in this city now."

"Little," he notes, "except you."

"And you," Eileen says, which. Fair enough. "I haven't seen that Hunter since the sun rose. Yet the Hunt has come to an end."

Djura nods. Waves vaguely for her to go on as he sits behind his gatling gun, pulling one leg up to his chest.

"Something has changed," she continues, "and I worry for that girl."

"You think something happened to her?" Djura asks.

"Or she did something. Perhaps something rash." Eileen hums to herself. "I wouldn't have seen the sunrise without her."

That is... a story Djura would very much like to know more of. But, thinking on it—if a Dreaming Hunter had been determined enough to kill him, to slaughter their way through Old Yharnam, Djura couldn't have stopped them forever. He couldn't have stopped her forever.

"Nor would I," he admits. "You want something of me."

Eileen chuckles. "You and I, Djura, are now all that remains of Yharnam. I'd like to find out what happened. What she did."

"And you need me for..."

"I am not as young as I once was," Eileen says, which is a sentiment Djura relates to far too well. "It's tradition that the Crow Hunter work alone... but there is no need for Hunters here any longer. Nor our traditions."

"You want me to watch your back," Djura says. He almost laughs from the absurdity of it all. Sure, he and Eileen had an uneasy truce—Hunters willing to test their luck with Old Yharnam were often not far from becoming her prey, after all—but this isn't even close to that.

"I'm sure you'd like to know what happened too," she replies, and honestly, how dare she be right.

"And?" Djura crosses his arms.

She doesn't speak for a time, simply regards him from behind that mask. Not for the first time, almost certainly not for the last, Djura wonders what her face might look like right now.

"...And," Eileen says at last, "I've nothing better to do. You?"

His beasts mean well. Truly, they do, and they're doing much better now that the residual influence of the Hunt is gone. So much better, in fact... that Djura wonders, sometimes, if they need him anymore. If it might not be better if he turned, too.

If he was going to turn, it would have happened during that final Hunt.

It didn't.

He's not quite sure what to do with himself now.

"I'll think about it," Djura says, his mind already made up.

"You do that," Eileen says. "I'll return tomorrow."

She departs as swiftly and silently as she'd come. She also doesn't go near the ladder, for evidently age has not diminished the Crow's preference for avoiding the ground.

[one-winged-dreams]

got talking about trauma with owen again last night

It's really rare that I get so into detail about how bad the abuse actually was. The psychological abuse and especially the physical abuse. Like, god, it's so hard to remember how severe it was, but if I think about it, it floats up to the surface so easily.

And when it comes up, I think about how fucking insane it is that I'm on 95 percent good terms with her and that, like an idiot, I'm going to be going over there for Christmas despite KNOWING that one of them is going to retraumatize all of us. Hell, maybe both of them.

Like, I can't believe how hellacious my childhood up until 19 was (then for a few years when I moved back in until I moved back out) and I'm just

You know. Acting like it didn't happen whenever she's around.

AND GOD, maybe my dad never physically hurt any of us but he sure knew how to have total rage meltdowns that were still traumatizing as fuck to have to endure. HE'S the one I'm dubious about for Christmas especially (he sent me random scriptures the other day and I'm ???) because I'm the only fucking one that'll still treat him like everything's normal, because I'm dumb and that's what everyone wants me to do so THEY don't have to do it. And of course I have to do what's best for EVERYONE ELSE, don't I? So he thinks that means I'm on HIS side when I'm not on ANYONE'S SIDE, YOU'RE ALL FUCKING INSANE. ALL OF YOU. EVEN MY SISTER.

I'm just pinching the bridge of my nose in exasperation waiting for the rage to kick in again but for right now I'm just

fucking tired.

[phoenixsoul13]

realized today that without Vera, i'm not sure i'd actually like fallout 3

of course w/o 3, I wouldn't have Vera

....i don't think i have a particular point, i'm just like hm. dilemma (how do i actually feel about fallout 3)

[byanyan]

being friends with byan is so weird bc they say they want you to have the balls to be bluntly honest with them, but then the very moment you're honest about something they don't like, they're peacing out, all "lmao ok friendship ended byeeeee"

[suffarustuffaru]

✨

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

AA this is the last fic writer ask question fr :o again it took me a while to get to all of them pfft but i appreciate them a lot!! this question especially is really sweet wkdndn but yes!! and hope anyone reading my answers to these questions found it interesting at least pfft

hmm…. compliment….. im a MAJOR stickler for detail :O i literally cant turn my brain off i have to get EVERY detail i can right whenever possible wjdnd. not that im always right bc im very much not but i try very hard to be!! and i absolutely adore trying to put a lot of detail and nuance into things in my work esp since i focus on characters mental thought process so much hah. i try very hard to do a lot (or at least i consider it a lot widjdj) of research :o for example i wanted to write astrea fic so i devoured every heinkel and reinhard related side story possible and now they give me intense brainrot. cries. since i write a lot of character study i HAVE to look at everything possible before i finish a fic or ill cry inside if i miss one (1) detail i couldve taken into account hah. so i do think im a hard working writer :o !! analyzing things for fun especially when i admire a work of fiction runs in my blood wjdnd it just Happens. i try my best!!

as for um. that one crack treated seriously gluttony if fic i did once (selfcest…). is it accurate to who gluttonybaru is as a character? no in the sense that hes written purposefully in that fic to be like. pushed to his Most Extreme. but also i did try to at least be kind of accurate bc. i combed through SO MUCH of arc 6 and the gluttony if to write him fr 😭😭 there was TOO MUCH analysis in that fic thats why its got a novel length wordcount HAH. hes always had a hate love relationship with “natsuki subaru”….

uhhh uhhh oh yeah something else vaguely related to this that just came to mind—for example my multichap pride otto fic has me like really wracking my brain bc pride otto has screentime for exactly 0.2 seconds (im totally good at math) so its like. i wanted to like analyze how he most likely thinks and what sort of behaviors he has and how hed even react in All the new shenanigans im putting him in. but im also working off of 0.2 seconds of screentime so i had to also go and look at how main otto thinks and try to make Many Educated Guesses on how otto goes from point a (main otto pre-meeting subaru) to point b (the otto we see in pride if). which is something i do every time i focus on an if character in general anyway HAH bc i think it gets easier to understand if versions of characters, no matter how different they seem from their main route selves, once you examine who their base character is and THEN you look at the if events and how its warped them away from their base character. if that makes sense. i think its really fun hah.

i also recognize though that it wouldve been maybe Easier to make pride otto in my fic a little more. dead inside. empty. bc i know that ive been writing a lot of his anger and irritation hah. and it wouldve made sense for him to be a little more tired kind of dead inside in his internal dialogue!!! but i figured that i might as well go a little differently with it to yes maybe subvert expectations a little bit (and bc. ok after arc 8 Confirming Many Things About Otto, no way pride otto wasnt angry at some point. fr.) but also bc. you know when a person whos been in a traumatic situation they couldnt escape for so long is forced to change themselves to survive? if that person manages to finally escape its like. now they gotta try and unlearn any trauma related lessons theyve learned now that the danger is over bc what helped them survive is now maladaptive bc the danger is Over. thats kind of how i approached the fic fr T^T but also i try so hard to write pride otto as the jaded ass he definitely is. theres so much jades in him for sure. (this sentence totally makes sense.)

oh!!! uh uh one small detail with pride otto—when characters have titles, he will almost Always call them by their title in both internal and external dialogue. reinhard is sword saint and julius is the greatest/finest knight and felix is blue, etc etc. otto is well. 1. emotionally constipated 2. distant from others 3. Going Out of His Way to distance himself from others 4. hes very fixated on power and hierarchy and 5. he is Very aware of the role hes played in crushing each knight in the knight trio. main otto Absolutely feels guilt even as hes being ruthless. i figured pride otto likely at least Used to feel guilty. if hes not still guilty deep down.

[memento-yuumori]

I think William probably would not be into riding crops or whipping (being whipped himself or whipping Sherlock or anyone else) because of Lady Moriarty trauma.