#the thought w/o the fic is posted separately

[fandom-reblog-central]

Fandom (dpxdc) Thought 2.5:

Context: Halfa!Jason Todd, ghosts communicate through emotions, liminals can do it to a lesser extent

Jason unknowingly keeps trying to push emotions to his family, not realizing he’s trying to communicate. With his family’s awkward outward reactions combined with the lack of response to his core, he feels isolated. Even thought it’s an accident on both ends, it has an effect on him.

To make it a bit worse, the batfam is liminal with all the death in the family and Lazarus exposure. They accidentally reject the emotional conversation from Jason’s core, so neither party knows why Jason is so on edge, but they don’t push for answers.

Danny (bad reveal, good reveal, literally Just Vibing in Gotham—whatever works) hears Damian’s core humming or trying to trill/chirp, and of course he has to help the sick liminal/baby-halfa core. With a LOT of bonding, Danny gets Damian to drink some healthy ectoplasm, and he feels a lot better. He even brings Jason over, knowing the connection to the Pit was stronger in his older brother and wanting to extend an olive branch after the… everything.

Once Jason starts feeling better and Frostbite is brought into the conversation, Damian realizes he can’t hide this from Bruce forever. And, with how many people in his family—hell, his contact list—had been exposed to the Lazarus pit, or gotten caught up in time shenanigans, or had been killed, it was best everyone knew. With Danny’s only request being “say I’m a meta instead of a ghost,” Damian goes to his father’s study.

(Forgive the ooc/awkwardness I don’t normally write fanfic lmao)

Damian entered Bruce’s study. “Father. I have something to inform you of. We have made a terrible mistake with Jason.”

Bruce’s train of thought pauses at hearing his youngest call Jason “Jason” instead of “Todd.” He looks up from his WE paperwork. “What is it, chum? Is he okay? Are you okay?”

“We are both well, Father. It is…” He grimaced and visibly tensed. “You have to promise to not be angry with me.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at hearing his youngest say such a “childish” phrase. “I will do my best. I’ll at least let you finish talking first.”

He knew this was the right thing to say when Damian relaxed slightly. Therapy was a wonder.

“Um…”

Oh. Oh no. Damian Al-Ghul-Wayne was not one for uncertainty—especially not in a conversation he started.

“Go on, lad, I’m listening,” Bruce said in as gentle a tone as he could (without getting too patronizing for his proud little Robin).

“I met a meta of a ghostly nature. He assessed that there was Lazarus Water in my body, and when he replaced it—“

“He what.”

“You said you’d let me finish.”

Bruce pulled out a notepad, jotting down bullet points to return to.

[Pit in Damian?? REPLACED?? Unknown ghost meta]

“Once he replaced it with the healthy alternative, I found…” He swallowed. “I found that I could more easily accept and show love. My time in the League played a part, of course. However, the Lazarus Pit had an effect on me as well, latching onto my desire to be worthy of a place here. I essentially have a rudimentary organ that runs on and communicates via emotion. Jason does as well, and his is stronger than mine. We have unknowingly been rejecting this more emotional form of communication, making him feel unaccepted and misunderstood.”

[emotional organ??? Accidental rejection? Possible to learn emotion communication?]

Damian shifted his weight under his father’s intense and worried Interrogation Glare™️. “Now that we know the problem, and are attempting to rectify it, we feel much better. Due to everyone around us being exposed to death, the Pit, or time travel, Jason, the meta, and myself thought it best if everyone was made aware. Our meta friend has a doctor who has specialized in this organ and the culture surrounding it for decades. He can apparently better help us manage our health alongside a regular physician.”

[meta doctor. Contact… everyone]

Bruce set his pen down and didn’t move for a few moments. “Are you finished?”

Damian nodded. “Are you angry?”

Bruce let out a long breath, closing his eyes. “I can never tell. Fear and rage feel a lot alike when it comes to protecting my family and my city. You’ve gone against a lot of my training, which displeases me, but I still love you, and I always will. We’ll see what your punishment is when I get more details. I don’t want to punish you for good outcomes, but the methods are important, especially in our work and at your age—“

“You can stop now, Father. I understand now what Drake means when he says he doesn’t know how to respond to the sincerity therapy has given you. I’ll gather the family for a debrief.”

Bruce opened his eyes to see his youngest wincing a little at the emotional vulnerability, but something else caught his attention.

His son’s green eyes faded to blue.

[phyrestartr]

Divine Favour | Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader (Pt.1)

W/C: 3.5k #full is NSFW, mild yuuji/reader, yuuji and gang are v early 20s, heian sukuna, male reader, typical kitsune shapeshifting, mentions of abuse, canon typical violence, morally grey reader, sukuna has FEELINGS but is BAD AT FEELINGS, unhealthy relationships, power imbalance, dubcon elements, soz if anything is clunky asdkjf; i can only reread the same fic so many times for editing sadge

A/N: Decided to separate this into parts since I'm dying to post some of it lol I've held it in a chokehold in the shadows of my WIPs for too long, some of it has to come out before I explode o(--( there is more to come!

tag: @nyanwko @kamote-kuneho @better-imagination-9

The scripture was incomplete, worn away by age.

…herein lays the God...imprisoned...by...Disgraced One…

Yet the society felt this, the coffin uncovered decades ago, could be an invaluable asset. The vessel was decrepit and ancient, yet still stood strong against the test of time and the wear of nature. Seal papers, no doubt left by a monk of sorts, covered the entirety of its surface, hiding away rotting wood and rusted bands of metal from modern sorcerer's curious eyes.

Few knew why the higher ups kept the vessel under lock and key. Fewer knew why they kept it at all; however, those few understood the importance of such a relic. They'd been the ones to seek it out, to steal it away before malicious forces took it for themselves, warping the supposed deity inside for their own, malevolent purpose, whatever that may be.

And with Ryoumen Sukuna's fingers being found one by one, they could not allow anyone to possess humanity's failsafe: you. A great being imprisoned by the devil.

“Anything?” Gojo trilled, patting Yuuji’s shoulders frantically as he stood behind him and beheld the wooden tub covered in sigils. 

“Uh…” Yuuji tried to focus on Sukuna’s presence inside of him. He didn’t seem intrigued or frightened, nor did he seem too bothered with the idea of them trying to smite him down with a sealed god–he was, however, annoyed that Yuuji continued to poke and prod at him. 

Piss off, runt. 

“Yep. Nope. Sukuna doesn't care,” Yuuji sighed. “He's getting all pissy now that I'm bothering him, though.” 

Gojo laughed and patted Yuuji's shoulders a few more times before all but twirling towards the bound box. “Well, that's a pretty good sign that he's not the one that did this, then! In that case,” he started, walking up to the seal papers keeping everything locked down, “let's pop ‘er open.” 

Before Yuuji could even wonder if that was a good idea, the white-haired witch used an overzealous amount of cursed energy and disintegrated every scrap of seal paper. 

Yuuji braced for impact. Surely something terrible like a bankai or a spirit bomb would send them flying once the coffin came undone. Surely they'd pay for this, for unleashing whatever godly spirit laid locked up for far too long, only to release it back into the modern age and–

“Huh. Weird.”

Yuuji cracked open an eye and saw the dull shine of tattered onyx fur, and his control slipped with a blitz of vertigo. 

Markings flared across his skin as he stormed toward the coffin, heart howling with thoughts and memories crashing through a shared mind; a face he didn't know but knew so well bloomed at the forefront of it all, eyes framed in pointed scarlet, skin bathed in ancient, dappled sunlight.

They reached the edge of the coffin and gripped the edges, splintering the wood as they took in the sight; crimson and curse decay pooled around a figure, curled up and half-submerged. Several black, tattered tails spilled free from the tub, no longer crushed from the force of the lid sealing them inside, but they were bent awkwardly and matted with whatever tincture lay at the bottom.

Then there was the so-called god in the middle of it all–you. Still. Quiet. Curled up in a haori far too big for you. Eyes closed. Almost peaceful.

Confusion tore at Sukuna while nausea ripped through Yuuji; he couldn't bear to look at such a morose scene.

So, Sukuna pushed him aside.

[Heian Era]

You were never supposed to be anything more than a trinket. 

You were a gift from some family trying to show off for Sukuna, so much so that they offered him a delicacy, something he surely didn't have yet–a yokai. A kitsune, to be more exact. One with peculiar black tails. 

Sukuna found it interesting, and similarly desperate, to be brought such a creature as tribute. Certainly, it was meant to be seen as a high honour, yet somehow it felt…off. Why would humans give up something so powerful? 

Unexpectedly, it'd be you who told him. 

They submit me for the sake of convenience and mockery, your withering voice whispered where no one else could hear. You sounded weak. Tired. Maybe afraid, yet brave enough to reach towards the king and unveil the intentions of the men who brought you before him. 

Sukuna's eyes flicked to you, his feigned interest in what the sorcerers said falling straight into dismissal. You were much more intriguing. 

“Oh?” Sukuna asked, a smile creeping onto his face. The speakers ceased their jabbering and stared at your back with fierce intensity. Sukuna grinned wider. Oh, how he loved the way fear twisted mortal faces. 

You didn't shift or crumple into yourself under the eyes of so many, however. You pushed on with what little energy and life you had, so intent on dragging that clan through the mud. 

What I say is true, you assured simply. I expect to die today–

“Speak so everyone hears you, fox,” Sukuna commanded.

“--so I–I–” you coughed and cleared your throat, trying to rid your voice of the scratchy, weakness it struggled through. “I wish to not die with regrets.

"They have rendered me ill and unable to produce children, they see the black of my tails and regard me as an ill omen; yet they bring me to you, daring to spin sweet tales about the value of such an offering. But they lie,” You hissed. Your eyes glinted with molten malice, and Sukuna fell captivated.

“They throw me to you as they would diseased meat to dogs.” 

The courtyard fell silent, and Sukuna basked in it. You really were such a little troublemaker. A quietly chaotic force of nature. 

The king stood, rolling his shoulders as he did, and his pride flared as you dropped to your knees before him in respect. He walked to you and patted your head as one might a child's before appraising the sorcerers stood before him. 

“What a disappointment,” Sukuna sighed, raising another hand. The couple took up position, pooling their cursed energy in hopes of fending off the monster standing before them. The effort was quite cute. “Here I thought your clan might actually earn my mercy.” His hand dropped as the two lunged. Then, the two clansmen fell, too, both in neat, vertical halves. Quite overkill, yes, but he had a point to make. 

Where he expected a reaction from you, he got nothing. Only panting and poorly-stifled coughs came from you, racking through the entirety of your skin and bones frame. Sukuna could see it up close now, the way your body trembled from fatigue, the sickly greying of your skin, the scent of disease clinging to you. 

That wouldn't do. Sukuna liked his things to be in good shape. 

“Uraume,” Sukuna droned as he stared down at you, “fix this.”

It took some time, but you managed to recover. It was an unnerving experience, with the way Uraume tended to you with sincerity. Perhaps it was genuinity born from their devotion to Ryoumen Sukuna, but you greedily soaked it in, filling your stomach with the care they offered you. 

Sukuna didn't bother much with you, not that you really minded; you were much more content to be fed and forgotten than hunted down by the creature that supposedly took ownership of you without enforcing it. If he didn't cause harm or good, if he simply existed somewhere else and forgot you breathed the same air as him, you'd still be at peace. 

But he was more intrigued than you gave him credit for. 

“Ho? So this is where you scamper off to,” Sukuna hummed, leaning over you as you dozed in the nice little spot you'd made for yourself in the garden, right under the crimson cover of a maple tree. You jumped the slightest bit, your daydreams and sunbathing interrupted by the brute’s silhouette eclipsing the sun, but you settled again quickly. The beast of a man wasn't a cause for panic in your little world, after all. 

“Does it displease you?” You inquired, fixing your hair and straightening out your robes. 

Sukuna held onto an overhead branch of the tree as he looked down at you. “Pets are supposed to play in the yard, aren't they?” He smirked as you pursed your lips and flicked your tail before calming it with hasty pets. “What, you don't like being my pet?” 

“I would not refer to myself as a pet,” you countered as the man sat down with you and leaned against the tree. The king's presence calmed you. With him, you knew you were invincible. 

“Pft. Then pray tell what your damn role is around here.” One set of arms folded behind his head while the other set crossed over his chest. “Pets are freeloaders. Pretty sure that's exactly what you are.”

You huffed. “Freeloader. Tch. How rude.” 

“Lookit that. You're copping an attitude now that you're fat and fed. Used to be so much more polite.” 

“Fat and–I am not fat.” You headbutted his side lightly, something that would make more sense had you been in your fox form. You grinding your forehead against him suggested this was more of a human move, however. “I am perfectly normal now. I was brittle and nonexistent prior to now. This is a grand improvement.”

Sukuna scoffed a laugh and looked down at your head pressed up against his side. “Thanks to me,” he boasted. 

“Yes,” you agreed. You held onto his haori and looked up at him, placid and intense. “It is thanks to you. I would not be here if not for your mercy and intervention.” 

Sukuna raised a brow as he regarded you. “Hm. And what will you do to repay me?” 

“My very presence grants you luck, good fortune and fertility.” You tilted your head. “I already repay you by being here.”

Tch. But the gardens and surrounding lands did look more lush and lively since your arrival, he couldn't deny that fact. But he was a king; he could always ask for more and expect to get it. 

“What more?” He prodded.

Your tail flicked as you thought. “What would you ask of me?” 

“Something you haven't given another,” Sukuna replied. Ugh, your flowery, poetry-y, bullshit speak was rubbing off on him. 

You stared at him, gemstone eyes glinting with earthen hues and shards of gold in the yawning afternoon sun. The leaves bristled just perfectly, letting in dapples of citrus sunlight as if trying to make this moment something special, as if to burn your ethereal presence into history for all eternity. All this, just while you thought of what to give him. Perhaps a riddle is what you wanted. Perhaps purple prose suited your fancy. Perhaps it was something else. 

You sat up, carefully raising yourself onto your knees before leaning up towards the hulking king. He turned his face to you in interest, feeling a sort of natural energy begin to pool around the both of you, reaching from the far depths of the earth and the wide stretch of the sky to converge on your existence as you framed his face with gentle hands, and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

It lasted only a second. But a second was long enough to catch the scent of petrichor and petals on your skin, to indulge in the heat of wildfires raging in your soul, to feel the blasphemy of you against him; then, you parted. 

“For now,” you murmured, and Sukuna swore he saw your single tail fan out into nine, “I give you my divine favor, Ryoumen Sukuna.”

You wondered if your favor was enough. He'd been gone some time, off to accept a duel from the snotty shitheads Sukuna had received you from. Apparently, having two of the eldest boys murdered rubbed them the wrong way. Sukuna was glad for it, you knew–the man lived and breathed for a fight. 

Of course, you stayed put. Uraume assured you'd be fine on your own, and Sukuna reminded his staff they'd all be eaten alive by the king himself if anything uncouth were to take place in his absence. It was more so that Sukuna didn't like the idea of idiots touching his stuff than it was the notion you were important to him, from your understanding. 

Regardless, the time alone left you restless. That king made you invincible. Without him, you were nothing more than the scared kit locked away in darkness, never to emerge lest your stubbornness trick them. But things were different here. Everyday was filled with unknowns and uncertainties when the two you'd forged fragile bonds with fell absent. 

So, you thought of how to repay Sukuna. Your divine favor would only do so much, after all–you didn't think a man like that really needed the extra luck, but he seemed more than intrigued by the manner of delivering the blessing; you remembered how he looked at you, eyes half-lidded, shielding you from the inferno burning out of control. He grumbled something low in his chest, just loud enough that you heard: 

You better be here when I get back.

“Ah–” The thrill those catastrophic words gave you nearly led to stabbing yourself with the needle. You tutted and regained focus, continuing to carefully embroider the sleeves of one of Sukuna's many plain black haori.

You learned how to sew and embroider from watching an elder from that clan work her magic on old, tattered clothes. She never spoke to you nor regarded you, but she never turned you away the rare times you watched her fix garments; you thought it was beautiful–the art of turning something mundane into something meaningful.

Though you wondered if Ryoumen Sukuna, the most powerful sorcerer, the most feared man alive, had a desire for anything useless and meaningful. 

The answer came quickly. You'd found yourself void of confidence when the monarch returned to his palace after (obviously) winning whatever duel he'd agreed to; you weren't sure if you were to congratulate him, celebrate him or something more. On top of that, he'd eventually find that haori you'd slaved over for days, and you weren't sure you could take the heartbreak of dismissal. 

However, those fears were quashed when, from a new little secret garden hovel, you spied the man donning the very haori you slaved over; it wasn't a flashy piece, you didn't want to subtract from the marvel that was the king of curses, so you opted for using black, shimmery thread to weave intricate twisting trees and blackened blooms along the sleeve. Only if the design caught the light would one be able to notice it. 

But that was enough for you. Knowing he accepted such a meaningless gift was reassuring of your place in his world. 

So, you finally let Uraume convince you to stay in the room they'd prepared for you. 

“No need to be nervous,” you hummed, that undying urge inside you to take care of something helping you soothe the young woman's nerves. You fixed her hair, your deft fingers carefully slipping strands into place before sliding a decorative pin in to hold it all together. You took a step back to appraise her, Sukuna's latest concubine. 

“I–thank you.” Sachiko blushed fiercely and bowed the slightest bit, not risking a deep bow for the fear of her hair falling loose. “I can see why all the girls love you.” 

You laughed, low and warm. “Well, it's hard not to love someone who takes care of you, no?” Gently, you tilted her chin up and leaned in, carefully examining the red lacquer staining her lips. The colour matched her kimono and the gems in that exquisite hairpin keeping dark locks at bay. “But I'm glad. I know it's difficult to find respite in these times.” 

Sachiko held her breath as she looked over the natural paint of crimson adorning your eyes. “I-I, um–yes, I do agree.” 

You hummed and carefully fixed the smallest smudge on the corner of her mouth. “Mh. So I hope you do your best to please him.” 

“I will!” Sachiko promised. “But–I wish to–may I give you something?” 

“Of course.” 

She gathered her kimono up in her hands and leaned up toward you. You leaned down, expecting a secret or hushed words, but perfect red lips pressed against your skin instead. And you were dumbfounded; you'd never been kissed before. You'd never had a lady show that interest in you. 

Sachiko got down from her tiptoes and hid her mouth with her sleeve. “Just for good luck!” She squeaked before bowing and hastily running through the doors where Sukuna would no doubt be waiting for his woman for the evening’s events. 

You looked at the doors sliding closed and caught a glimpse of Sukuna stood before the young woman, his frame swallowing hers as you looked on. And you caught a glimpse of his eyes, his stare of shock and utter vexation–clearly, he'd seen the short woman give you a kiss for good luck. 

You turned away, choosing to abandon the girl to her demise as your fingers ghosted against your lips in wonder. 

He showed up in your chambers later that night. You were still awake, quietly embroidering another haori; this time, it was for Uraume. They insisted they didn't want to burden you, but they crumbled under your more insistent insistence, and accepted the offer on the condition it looked subtle and muted. 

Sukuna padded toward you, hardly bothering to announce himself or ask to join you (ugh, how annoying) before plopping himself onto the futon beside you, sighing as he laid down. 

“I see you finished early,” you commented, jumping the littlest bit when large hands caught your flickering tails. He didn't hurt you, no; he was simply an overgrown toddler with a penchant for examining whatever wiggled before him. 

“That woman kissed you,” Sukuna answered, unhelpful. “Ruined it.” 

“Ah. Well. I didn't expect it either.” You cleared your throat, feeling an unexpected bubble of embarrassment rise in your chest. “I have…I've never been given a kiss before. Not from what I can recall, at the very least.” 

“The hell are you talking about?” Sukuna grouched. “You planted one on me in the gardens.” 

“Giving is not receiving,” you corrected, flicking your tail so as to hit his face. “I've never given a kiss on another's lips, regardless. Though I find myself wondering why I–” 

You yowled when he yanked your tail like he meant to rip the thing off, and you whirled on him, eyes drawn into slits and chunky fangs bared as you dug your nails into his wrist in an effort to make him let go.

Yet the king looked unfazed. He sat up and  tugged you closer by your tail, yank after yank, ripping an impressive collection of vexed noises from you until his broad hand caught you by the throat. You clawed at his wrist and forearm, scrambling to find purchase, idly wondering if he'd finally had enough of you and sought to put you down after dirtying one of his concubines–

But he kissed you instead. His lips were warm and dry, not quite soft yet not unwelcoming. Sukuna knew what he was doing, too; his tongue licked at your bottom lip before pushing inside to finally taste you and taint you from within just a little bit. 

Your grip on him laxed the slightest bit, and you even eased into his hold as he, too, refused to harm you further. If you weren't aware of his malevolent spirit, you might've thought him gentle in that long, simple moment–a special brand of “gentle” that was wholly Sukuna's. Kind, but jagged around the edges. 

He started pulling back, though, and you followed after his touch like a bewitched maiden chasing after the lips of a lover. You nipped at the air like that'd do something for you, but soon settled on leaning into the hand holding you still, even if your throat scratched and ached because of it. 

You found Sukuna's calm stare watching you when you opened your eyes a crack. For once, you thought he looked content; the cruel, mocking lines of his face had smoothed and relaxed, and that annoying, cocky smirk he'd been born sporting had been replaced with a placid, normal lilt. Even the inferno blazing in crimson depths eased into pools of yawning embers–warm and spirited, yet contained. 

The sight relaxed you despite the confusion it brought to your rationale. 

“That,” Sukuna said, so odd and quiet, but powerful and judicial. “Is your first.” His thumb stroked against the side of your neck, pausing to feel the pitter patter of your heart thrumming under his mercy. “It'd serve you to remember that.” 

You nodded shallowly. “Of course.” 

Pleased, he let go of your quite breakable neck and moved like he was about to get up. You grabbed at his hand and pressed his palm to the side of your face like he was cupping your cheek. Your insistence on touching gave the beast pause, but he settled again, content to let you keep him hostage for as long as you wanted.

And you indulged in the simple favour. You nuzzled into his palm with a very fox-like chitter as a bassy, quiet trill of a purr lazily rolled through your chest, eventually reaching Sukuna himself. It somehow had him feeling content. Relaxed. Like he was basking in the warmth of the sun. 

“I request another,” you chirped, and Sukuna quirked a brow. 

“Another?” 

“Kiss.” 

Sukuna twitched a smirk. “It'll cost ya.” 

“Oh?” 

“Give me another blessing.”

And you agreed.

[dwaekkicidal]

Sian's Skz Masterlist ₍ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ₎

dividers by @/cafekitsune and @/animeglittergraphics-n-more, and @/strangergraphics-archive

Request are [Open] Hard/Soft thoughts are [Open], be sure to read my rules <3

❥ fics ♯ thoughts ⋇ headcanons/drabbles

.ᐟ - nsfw/suggestive ♡ - sfw 𓆩𓆪 - angst

In case I missed anything, you can also click here to see all of my writings <3

MDNI!! DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

𝙾𝚃8(separate)

⋇┆favorite positions .ᐟ

⋇┆munch masterlist .ᐟ

⋇┆first time sub! reader Hyung Line Maknae Line .ᐟ

❥┆ 1k follower celebration masterlist : 1 kink - 1 member - 1 day .ᐟ

⋇┆reader with a big boobies .ᐟ

⋇┆reader who is taller than them ♡

❥┆ kinktober 2024 masterlist .ᐟ

⋇┆"mean skz smut" .ᐟ

⋇┆toys masterlist .ᐟ

⋇┆Non-Sexual Dominance with OT8 ♡ coming soon

Bang Chan ౨ৎ 방찬

❥┆ pervy 3racha + 'ditzy' reader .ᐟ

⋇┆mochi bf channie .ᐟ

❥┆ Lessons .ᐟ

⋇┆Easy Way vs Hard Way .ᐟ

⋇┆pussy play w chris .ᐟ

⋇┆handsy bunny!reader in heat .ᐟ

♯┆dilf ceo bang chan .ᐟ

Lee Know ౨ৎ 리노

❥┆ Kiss It Better ♡

⋇┆sugar daddy bf minho .ᐟ

⋇┆heats with bunny!lino .ᐟ

♯┆biting lino .ᐟ

⋇┆pliant, subby lino .ᐟ

⋇┆frustrated min x free use .ᐟ

Changbin ౨ৎ 창빈

♯┆groping binnie .ᐟ

❥┆ Worship. [1] .ᐟ

❥┆ Loved. [2] .ᐟ

♯┆biting/marking binnie .ᐟ

❥┆ curly hair routine ♡

Hyunjin ౨ৎ 현진

❥┆ Much Needed Reminder .ᐟ

⋇┆hyunie with an s/o who smokes ♡

❥┆ crush! hyunjin vs brother! lino ♡

Han ౨ৎ 한

❥┆ Anime Night

❥┆ The Incidents : Perv!Han x Cutesy Reader series masterlist .ᐟ

❥┆ Cherries .ᐟ

⋇┆mean dom han + degradation .ᐟ

♯┆munch!han drabble .ᐟ

Felix ౨ৎ 필릭스

⋇┆angel bf lix .ᐟ

♯┆long necklace x backshots (blame pinterest) .ᐟ

♯┆adams apple "experiment" with bsf lix .ᐟ

⋇┆Felix at 12:59AM (0:59) ♡

Seungmin ౨ৎ 승민

⋇┆shy boyfriend minnie .ᐟ

❥┆ reader with subdrop & minnie with domdrop .ᐟ 𓆩𓆪

⋇┆heats with puppy!seungmin .ᐟ

I.N ౨ৎ 아이엔

❥┆ Who Are You Calling Baby? .ᐟ

⋇┆daddy jeongin .ᐟ

♯┆'ATE' promo video inspired drabble .ᐟ

♯┆me being feral about his stage-name collar .ᐟ

⋇┆fox!jeongin's reaction to bunny!reader's heat nesting .ᐟ

𝙼𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚒𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

❥┆ Sharing is Caring masterlist : Poly OT8 & Fem!Reader Series [includes mxm] .ᐟ

⋇┆fingering argument with vocalracha .ᐟ

♯┆2min teaching jeongin how to fuck you .ᐟ

𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛

❥┆ After Last Night [I.N. x Chan] .ᐟ

♯┆subby chan x ot7 .ᐟ

⋇┆subby channie x ot7 .ᐟ

?┆ ChangSeung .ᐟ coming soon

𝙲𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚆𝙸𝙿𝚜

N/A

[slinnnn]

This is a 40 chapter long story I kept writing while I was in school bored. So, warning; this is not proof read, this is insanely long, most likely sloppy and confusing, tons of plot holes and some stuff may repeat.

This is also most likely not accurate to his character.

Also it's only mentioned about once, but Matsukawa want's to be a doctor in this fic! I didn't know what to do with this so I'm posting it here! Hope you enjoy.

WORD COUNT: 22K.

ALL CHAPTERS HERE

NO MORE RUNNING.

C H A P T E R   O N E

Echos of the past

The train rattled beneath her, a rhythmic clattering that somehow matched the hum of her turbulent thoughts. (YOUR NAME) stared out the window, the passing countryside blurring into a wash of greens and browns. Returning to a place she swore she'd left behind—both physically and emotionally—was unsettling.

It had been six years since she last saw Matsukawa Issei. Six years since they’d all drifted apart. Matsukawa was once a figure on the periphery of her life, her best friend's older step-brother. They had never been friends, nor enemies, simply... there. That was until the incident that fractured everything.

She sighed, leaning her head back against the seat. She hadn't even spoken to her best friend, Mei, in years. Their once inseparable bond had crumbled under the weight of personal tragedies, misunderstandings, and the suffocating weight of expectations from their families. Now, (YOUR NAME) was returning to the same town for her final year of high school, to live with her distant aunt. It was supposed to be a fresh start, but how could she start fresh when her past was there, waiting?

As the train pulled into the station, she spotted a tall, familiar figure standing near the exit. Matsukawa. His presence hit her harder than expected. Time had been kind to him, she thought begrudgingly. He was still lean, but his face had matured, sharper, more defined. His eyes, dark and unreadable, scanned the crowd, landing on her for a fleeting second before looking away.

It was an unspoken rule between them, after all. They had never been on speaking terms—not since that night. Not since the secrets, betrayals, and anger tore them all apart.

C H A P T E R   T W O

Unwelcome reunion

(YOUR NAME) hadn't planned on running into Matsukawa so soon, but fate, it seemed, had other plans. It was Mei’s sister's wedding—her best friend’s sister's wedding. And Matsukawa was Mei’s brother. Mei had called a week ago, completely out of the blue, with a tone of forced cheerfulness that (YOUR NAME) could immediately sense.

“Come back,” Mei had said. “For old time’s sake. Please?”

And now, (YOUR NAME) found herself sitting in the back row of the small wedding chapel, surrounded by faces she recognized but hadn’t seen in years. She watched Mei and her fiancé exchange vows, all the while acutely aware of Matsukawa, sitting just a few rows ahead, his profile strong against the light of the stained-glass window.

Memories washed over her. Memories of nights spent at Mei's house, playing games, confiding in each other, laughing. And Matsukawa was always there, a silent presence, a wall that separated the girls from the rest of the world. He had been the distant older brother figure, aloof, almost arrogant, but undeniably compelling.

It wasn’t until that fateful night—after a party had gone terribly wrong—that everything changed. (YOUR NAME) remembered the anger, the accusations, and the bitter arguments. She and Mei hadn’t spoken since.

After the ceremony, Mei approached her. (YOUR NAME) stood awkwardly at the reception, drink in hand, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

“(YOUR NAME), it’s been too long,” Mei said, pulling her into a tentative hug. Her smile was strained, and there was a flicker of discomfort in her eyes. The same discomfort that had haunted them both after that night.

Before (YOUR NAME) could respond, she felt a presence looming behind her. She turned, and there was Matsukawa, towering over them, his dark eyes inscrutable. He gave her a brief nod, not saying a word, before turning to Mei.

“Mei, I’ll take care of the arrangements for the photos,” he said, his voice low and calm. Then, without sparing (YOUR NAME) another glance, he walked away.

The coldness in his demeanor sent a shiver down (YOUR NAME)’s spine. She had been prepared for an awkward reunion with Mei, but not for Matsukawa’s stark indifference.

C H A P T E R   T H R E E

Forced proximity

The invitation came a week later, a formal letter from Mei’s mother, inviting (YOUR NAME) to stay at the family’s countryside home for a few months while she “got back on her feet.” She didn’t need the help—she had her own plans—but something about the invitation felt like a bridge. A chance to rebuild.

But that didn’t make the situation any less tense.

When she arrived at the estate, she was greeted by Mei’s mother, who welcomed her warmly. Mei was out of town on her vacation, but (YOUR NAME) was told to settle in as if she had never left.

What no one had told her was that Matsukawa was also living there.

The moment (YOUR NAME) stepped into the living room, she was greeted by his presence. He was sitting on the couch, reading something in one of his textbooks. Medical school, she remembered. That had always been his goal. He barely glanced at her before returning to his studies.

It was awkward, painfully so. The house was large, and yet every corner seemed to echo with the weight of their unspoken history.

Days passed, and they barely spoke more than a few words to each other. Matsukawa was reserved, as always, his face a constant mask of indifference. But there were moments—brief flashes—when she could feel the tension between them, a tension that had existed long before things had gone wrong. She had always sensed something about him, something she had pushed aside in favor of her friendship with Mei.

Now, trapped in the same house with him, that tension was palpable, and she had no idea how to deal with it.

C H A P T E R   F O U R

Unraveling secrets

One evening, after a long day of unpacking and helping around the house, (YOUR NAME) found herself in the library, hoping to lose herself in a book. The room was dimly lit, the old wooden shelves stacked with volumes that smelled of dust and nostalgia. She hadn’t realized that Matsukawa had also entered until she heard the door close softly behind him.

He stood at the entrance, watching her in that unreadable way of his. For a moment, neither of them spoke.

“I didn’t think you’d come back here,” he said finally, his voice quiet but laced with something she couldn’t quite place.

(YOUR NAME) swallowed, trying to keep her cool. “I didn’t think I would either.”

He nodded, stepping further into the room, his presence filling the space between them. “So why did you?”

She hesitated. “Mei asked me to.”

He scoffed, turning away, running a hand through his dark hair. “That’s typical.”

(YOUR NAME) frowned, feeling a flicker of irritation. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he muttered, though his tone suggested otherwise.

There it was again. That wall he always put up. The one she had never been able to break through, even back when they were all friends. Something had always simmered beneath the surface with Matsukawa, something dark and conflicted.

“Why do you care anyway?” she asked, standing up and crossing her arms. “It’s not like we were ever close.”

His eyes flicked to hers, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “No, we weren’t.”

The tension crackled between them, unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Whatever lay between them had always been there, buried deep, and now, it was starting to rise to the surface, demanding to be acknowledged.

C H A P T E R   F I V E

Sparks of conflict

Tension built within the house like a gathering storm. Days passed, and the forced proximity between (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa became unbearable. Everywhere she went, he was there. In the kitchen, making coffee, a quiet presence in the hallways, and most irritatingly, in the shared living spaces.

The problem was, (YOUR NAME) wasn’t sure how much of the tension was rooted in their past grievances or something deeper she didn’t want to acknowledge.

One night, after hours of silent avoidance, she found him in the kitchen, standing over the stove, making a late dinner. The scent of sizzling garlic and something savory filled the air, a domestic scene that contrasted so sharply with the coldness between them.

She tried to slip by without speaking, but he noticed her, his eyes flicking up briefly as she reached for a glass.

“You’re avoiding me,” he said, not looking at her.

(YOUR NAME) stiffened, setting the glass down harder than necessary. “I’m not avoiding you.”

“You are,” he said, his voice calm but sharp, like a blade wrapped in velvet. Matsukawa didn’t bother to look up from the stove, his casual demeanor making her feel oddly defensive.

(YOUR NAME) crossed her arms, standing her ground. “And what if I am? It’s not like we have anything to talk about.”

He finally looked at her, his dark eyes locking onto hers. “I didn’t say we needed to talk. Just pointing out the obvious.”

His indifference grated at her. How could he be so calm, so composed, when everything about being in this house—being near him—was pulling her apart? (YOUR NAME) had always been able to hide her feelings, but Matsukawa had this irritating ability to make her lose her composure.

“What’s your problem, Matsukawa?” (YOUR NAME) snapped, unable to hold it in any longer. “You act like everything’s fine, like nothing happened. Like you don’t even care.”

He raised an eyebrow, turning off the stove and wiping his hands on a towel. “What exactly do you think happened, (YOUR NAME)?”

His question stunned her. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came. Of course, they both knew what had happened—why their friendships had shattered. But they had never spoken about it. Not directly. And now he was standing here, acting as though it was all in her head.

“You—” She stopped herself, breathing hard. “You and Mei. You both just… walked away. No explanation. No apologies. I lost everything.”

Matsukawa’s expression darkened, and for a moment, she saw a flicker of something in his eyes—anger, or maybe regret. “You think it was that simple?”

“Wasn’t it?”

“No,” he said, his voice firm. “It wasn’t.”

He took a step toward her, the space between them growing smaller, suffocating. “You don’t know everything, (YOUR NAME). You never did.”

His words hung in the air like a challenge, and before she could stop herself, (YOUR NAME) found herself stepping forward, meeting his intensity head-on. “Then tell me, Matsukawa. Tell me what I didn’t know.”

For a moment, neither of them moved. His eyes bore into hers, and she felt that familiar crackle of tension, something that had been there all along, hidden beneath years of resentment and silence.

But Matsukawa didn’t respond. Instead, he turned away, his expression closing off as quickly as it had opened. “You wouldn’t understand.”

(YOUR NAME) clenched her fists. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Shutting me out.” Her voice trembled with frustration. “You always did that—pushed everyone away, like you were above it all. Like you didn’t need anyone.”

Matsukawa turned back to face her, his expression hard. “Maybe that’s because I didn’t.”

(YOUR NAME) felt the sting of his words, but before she could respond, Matsukawa brushed past her, leaving the kitchen. The silence he left behind was heavier than the tension had been.

C H A P T E R   S I X

Buried truths

The days stretched on in a tense limbo. (YOUR NAME) tried to keep her distance from Matsukawa, but in a house this size, avoiding him completely was impossible. Every time they crossed paths, there was that same prickling tension in the air, the weight of unsaid words and unresolved conflicts.

She tried distracting herself by exploring the house, which felt almost as haunted by the past as she was. The old rooms were filled with memories of her childhood with Mei, the laughter, the late-night talks, the unspoken camaraderie that had once seemed unbreakable.

But there were darker memories too. The night that had torn them apart, the fight that had started with Mei and ended with Matsukawa walking away, leaving (YOUR NAME) feeling abandoned and confused. She had never understood what had happened, why Matsukawa had looked at her with such coldness that night, as though she were a stranger.

That afternoon, (YOUR NAME) found herself standing at the door of Matsukawa’s room. It wasn’t intentional—she had been wandering aimlessly—but something had pulled her there. The door was slightly ajar, and from inside, she heard voices.

Matsukawa’s deep voice, low and serious, and another—an older man’s—familiar but distant. Her hand hovered over the door, debating whether to knock or retreat. But before she could decide, the voices stopped, and Matsukawa appeared in the doorway.

He froze for a moment, surprise flickering across his face before it was replaced by his usual guarded expression. “You need something?”

(YOUR NAME) swallowed, the weight of their previous argument still lingering between them. “I was just—”

Before she could finish, the man behind Matsukawa stepped into view. Her breath caught in her throat.

Mei’s father.

He gave her a measured look, his stern features softening just slightly when he recognized her. “(YOUR NAME). I didn’t realize you were back in town.”

“I am,” she managed, her voice a little shaky.

He nodded, his expression unreadable. “I’ll leave you two to it. Matsukawa, we’ll continue this later.”

With that, he left, brushing past her without a second glance. Matsukawa stayed silent, watching her carefully. It wasn’t like him to share much with anyone, let alone her. But now, standing in his doorway, she felt a sudden urge to ask questions—questions that had haunted her for years.

“What were you talking about?” she asked, trying to sound casual, though she knew she had no right to pry.

Matsukawa raised an eyebrow. “That’s none of your business.”

(YOUR NAME) bristled at the coldness in his voice. “You know, for once you could actually talk to me.”

He let out a short laugh, though there was no humor in it. “You think talking will fix anything?”

“I think it might help,” she shot back, her frustration bubbling to the surface. “Or maybe you just like keeping everything to yourself, like you always did.”

Matsukawa’s eyes narrowed, his usual calm cracking just slightly. “You think you understand me, (YOUR NAME)? You don’t. You never did.”

She felt her temper flare, her hands curling into fists at her sides. “Then explain it to me! Explain why you walked away, why you shut everyone out!”

For a moment, she thought he might actually tell her. His gaze darkened, and there was something in his expression—pain, anger, regret—that flickered before he turned away.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said quietly. “It’s in the past.”

(YOUR NAME) watched him retreat into his room, the door closing softly behind him. But as she stood there, her heart pounding in her chest, she realized that whatever was between them—whatever had torn them apart—was far from over.

C H A P T E R   S E V E N

The crack in the armor

That night, (YOUR NAME) lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, her mind racing with the events of the day. Her confrontation with Matsukawa had left her feeling unsettled. For the first time in years, it felt like the walls he had built around himself were starting to crumble, just slightly, revealing cracks in the armor he had so carefully maintained.

And despite everything, she wanted to know what lay beneath that armor.

The following morning, she found herself in the garden, seeking a moment of peace. The house felt suffocating, with its memories and its ghosts. She wandered through the rows of blooming flowers, breathing in the crisp air, trying to clear her mind.

But even here, she couldn’t escape Matsukawa.

She found him standing at the far end of the garden, leaning against a tree, looking out over the hills in the distance. His posture was relaxed, but there was a tension in his shoulders, as though the weight of the world rested on him alone.

(YOUR NAME) hesitated, but something compelled her to approach him. When she got closer, he turned his head slightly, acknowledging her presence without a word.

For a long time, they stood there in silence, side by side, watching the wind rustle through the leaves. It was the first moment of calm they had shared since her return, and though it was fragile, (YOUR NAME) didn’t want to break it.

“You never did like talking much,” she said softly, glancing at him.

Matsukawa’s lips twitched, almost forming a smile, but not quite. “Talking never solved anything.”

(YOUR NAME) looked down, feeling the sting of his words. “It could if you tried.”

He finally turned to face her, his expression softer than she had ever seen it. “There are some things that can’t be fixed, (YOUR NAME). No matter how much we talk.”

She searched his face, trying to understand what he wasn’t saying. “And what about us? Can that be fixed?”

The question hung in the air between them, heavy and unresolved. Matsukawa didn’t answer right away, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—something vulnerable, something real.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.

And for the first time, (YOUR NAME) realized that maybe, just maybe, Matsukawa wasn’t as indifferent as he seemed.

C H A P T E R   E I G H T

The unraveling thread

As the days wore on, the tension between (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa began to shift. Their conversations, though still sparse, took on a different tone—less guarded, more exploratory. Each moment shared felt like a thread unraveling, slowly weaving together a tapestry of understanding they had long left neglected.

One afternoon, while (YOUR NAME) was helping Mei’s father in the garden, Matsukawa joined them, rolling up his sleeves. It was a simple act, but it made her heart race. Working alongside him felt strangely intimate, and she couldn’t shake the sensation that he was drawing closer, not just physically but emotionally as well.

“You’re not as bad at this as I thought,” Matsukawa commented, glancing at (YOUR NAME) as they planted new flowers.

“Thanks,” she replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”

He chuckled, the sound surprisingly warm and genuine. “I never thought you were.”

His admission caught her off guard, and she looked up, surprised by the sincerity in his eyes. The vulnerability they had shared the other day in the garden felt closer now, and she wanted to seize this moment.

“Why did you shut everyone out?” she asked, the question tumbling out before she could second-guess herself. “I mean, after everything that happened.”

Matsukawa paused, his expression hardening for just a moment before he sighed, looking out over the flowers they were planting. “It was easier that way. I thought if I pushed everyone away, I wouldn’t hurt anyone again.”

“Did it work?” she asked softly, the question hanging in the air.

“No,” he admitted, his voice low. “It didn’t.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart ached at his honesty. “You hurt me, you know. I felt abandoned.”

He turned to her, the tension returning briefly before he softened again. “I know. And I’m sorry. I just… didn’t know how to deal with everything back then. I was lost.”

The admission hung between them, a fragile bridge forming where once there had been a chasm of misunderstanding. There was something powerful in his words, a connection they had both needed to acknowledge.

“Maybe we can try to understand each other now?” (YOUR NAME) suggested, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded slowly, uncertainty flickering across his face. “Maybe.”

C H A P T E R   N I N E

Crossing boundaries

That evening, after a day spent digging in the dirt and sharing fragments of their pasts, (YOUR NAME) found herself filled with a new sense of hope. Maybe things could change. Maybe they could salvage something from the ruins of their old friendship.

Later, as she sat in her room, she noticed a flicker of movement outside her window. Matsukawa was in the garden again, leaning against the tree, looking up at the stars. It was a clear night, the moon illuminating the world in soft silver light, and she felt an inexplicable pull to join him.

(YOUR NAME) slipped on a jacket and quietly made her way outside, the cool night air wrapping around her. When she approached, Matsukawa looked up, his eyes catching the moonlight, revealing depths she hadn’t seen before.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, trying to sound casual.

He shrugged, the movement easy and unguarded. “Just needed some air.”

She stepped closer, settling beside him. The silence enveloped them, a comfortable blanket woven from shared history and unspoken feelings.

“What were you thinking about?” she ventured, hoping to break the stillness.

He hesitated before responding, his voice low. “About how different everything is now. I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I didn’t think I’d be back, either,” (YOUR NAME) admitted, glancing at him. “But here we are.”

“Yeah, here we are.” There was a soft vulnerability in his tone that made her heart race.

As they stared up at the stars, she felt a shift in the atmosphere, an electricity crackling in the air. She turned to him, her heart pounding. “Matsukawa…”

He looked at her, and for a moment, everything else faded away. The world, the past, the hurt—they all fell into the background, leaving just the two of them.

But then he pulled away slightly, a shadow passing over his face. “We shouldn’t, (YOUR NAME).”

“Why not?” she asked, the frustration bubbling up again. “You can’t keep running away from this. From us.”

“It’s complicated,” he said, looking away, as though the weight of his own words was too much to bear.

“Complicated doesn’t mean impossible,” she shot back, her heart racing with the heat of the moment. “We can’t keep pretending nothing happened between us.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair in that familiar way she remembered. “I just don’t want to hurt you again.”

(YOUR NAME) felt the warmth of his concern wrap around her like a blanket. “I’d rather take the risk than live in this limbo forever.”

His gaze softened as he met her eyes, and for a brief moment, she thought he might lean in, might finally bridge that last gap between them. But then he took a step back, breaking the moment.

“Maybe we need more time,” he said quietly.

And just like that, the spell was broken. The stars faded into the background, and the weight of the world settled back onto their shoulders.

C H A P T E R   T E N

The tipping point

The next few weeks unfolded like a dance—one step forward, two steps back. Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) slipped into a routine, sharing moments filled with laughter and conversations that seemed to spark a light between them. But every time it felt like they were getting closer, one of them would pull away, returning to their guarded shells.

Mei returned from her vacation, and (YOUR NAME) felt a pang of jealousy at the easy closeness between her and Matsukawa. Craving the easiness she once had with him.

One evening, while they were all sitting in the living room, Mei’s laughter rang out, warm and full of life. Matsukawa leaned in closer to her, whispering something that made her giggle, and (YOUR NAME) felt the familiar sting of insecurity bubble to the surface.

Later, while Mei and Matsukawa were in the kitchen preparing dinner, (YOUR NAME) excused herself, seeking solace in the garden. She needed air, space to think. Why was it so easy for them to connect, while she felt so far away?

She wandered to the same tree where she had shared those quiet moments with Matsukawa, leaning against it as she fought back her frustration. Just when she thought she could escape her thoughts, she heard footsteps behind her.

“Matsukawa,” she said, turning to find him standing there, his expression serious. “What do you want?”

“I came to see if you were okay,” he replied, concern etched on his features.

“Why do you care?” she snapped, the hurt spilling over. “You seem perfectly fine with everything being back to normal with Mei.”

He took a step closer, a flash of anger in his eyes. “It’s not like that, (YOUR NAME). You know that.”

“Do I?” she challenged, her voice rising. “Because it sure looks like you’re just fine pretending I don’t exist.”

Matsukawa’s jaw clenched. “That’s not fair. I’m trying to work through this. I’m trying to be here for you, but you keep pushing me away!”

“Pushing you away? I’m trying to reach out!” She took a deep breath, struggling to control her emotions. “It feels like we’re stuck in this endless cycle, and I don’t know how to break it.”

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration etched into his features. “Then what do you want from me?”

“I want you to stop being afraid!” she cried, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “I want you to let me in.”

Silence fell between them, the weight of her words hanging in the air like a storm cloud. Matsukawa’s expression softened, and she saw the conflict playing out in his eyes.

“I can’t,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t risk losing you again.”

“But we’re losing each other by staying silent!” she pleaded, her heart racing. “This isn’t living, Matsukawa. This is just… existing.”

He stepped closer, the intensity in his gaze wrapping around her like a spell. “What if we try to be friends again? Just friends?”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart sink, but she nodded slowly, unwilling to let him see her disappointment. “Okay. Friends.”

It was a fragile truce, one that left her heart aching with unfulfilled desires, but she couldn’t force him to cross that line if he wasn’t ready.

C H A P T E R   E L E V E N

The push and pull

The following weeks were a delicate balance of laughter and longing. Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) tried their best to reforge their friendship, but the undercurrents of their unresolved feelings lingered just below the surface, creating a tension that made every interaction electric.

One Friday evening, as the sun dipped low in the sky, Mei organized a small get-together at their home, inviting friends from the area. (YOUR NAME) was both excited and apprehensive, knowing that Matsukawa would be there. The thought of seeing him laughing and interacting with others stirred something deep within her.

As the guests arrived, the atmosphere buzzed with energy. Friends mingled, drinks flowed, and laughter echoed through the halls. (YOUR NAME) felt a rush of nostalgia as she watched Mei effortlessly move between conversations, her laughter infectious.

But as she searched for Matsukawa among the crowd, an uncomfortable knot formed in her stomach. He was standing by the bar, laughing with a group of friends, and her heart sank a little at the sight. He looked so at ease, so himself, that it reminded her of everything she missed about their friendship. But it also reignited the feelings of jealousy that had started to creep back in.

Determined to push those thoughts aside, (YOUR NAME) joined a few friends on the patio. They played games, shared stories, and slowly, she began to relax, laughing along with the group. However, every few moments, her gaze flicked back to Matsukawa, who was still engaged in lively conversation. There was something almost magnetic about him, drawing her in even from afar.

When the party moved inside, she found herself at the snack table, attempting to gather her thoughts. Just as she reached for a bowl of chips, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Hey.”

(YOUR NAME) turned to find Matsukawa standing there, a drink in hand and that signature half-smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Having fun?”

“Yeah, it’s great,” she replied, trying to keep her tone casual. “Mei always knows how to throw a party.”

“Yeah, she does,” he agreed, glancing around the room. “You look good tonight.”

Her heart skipped a beat at the compliment, warmth spreading through her. “Thanks. So do you.”

He laughed softly, a hint of shyness creeping into his demeanor. It was a rare sight, and she couldn’t help but smile back at him. The atmosphere felt lighter between them, and for a moment, it seemed as though the tension had eased, allowing space for something new to blossom.

“Want to go outside for a bit?” Matsukawa suggested, gesturing toward the patio. “It’s quieter out there.”

“Sure,” she replied, trying to hide her eagerness.

They stepped outside, the cool evening air wrapping around them like a comforting blanket. The stars twinkled above, and the sounds of laughter from the party faded into the background.

“Why did you choose to come tonight?” Matsukawa asked, leaning against the railing, his expression curious.

(YOUR NAME) took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. “I wanted to see everyone. I didn’t want to feel alone. And I thought maybe it would help… us.”

“Help us?” He turned slightly to face her, his brow furrowing. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… help us find our way back to being friends. I just miss having you around.” The honesty slipped out before she could stop it.

He studied her for a moment, a mix of surprise and something else flickering in his eyes. “I miss it too.”

(YOUR NAME) felt a rush of hope, but it was quickly overshadowed by uncertainty. “Then why does it feel like there’s this wall between us?”

Matsukawa sighed, pushing off the railing to face her fully. “Because I’m scared, (YOUR NAME). Scared that if we try to go back to what we had, we’ll just end up hurting each other again. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Maybe we can do it differently this time,” she suggested, stepping closer, her heart racing. “Maybe we can take it slow.”

His gaze dropped, and for a moment, silence enveloped them, thick with unspoken words. Finally, he looked back up, his expression softening. “I want that too. I really do. But it’s hard.”

“I know,” she replied, feeling a surge of empathy for the boy she used to know. “But we can’t let fear dictate our friendship, Matsukawa. We have to try.”

He nodded slowly, a reluctant acceptance in his eyes. “Okay. Let’s try.”

Just then, a loud cheer erupted from the house, pulling their attention back to the party. The moment felt suspended, like they were teetering on the edge of something monumental.

“Come on, let’s go back in,” Matsukawa said, breaking the spell. “I can’t let Mei think we’re hiding out here.”

“Right,” (YOUR NAME) agreed, forcing a smile to mask the longing in her heart.

As they rejoined the group, she felt a flicker of hope. Perhaps they could navigate this complicated path together. But with every shared laugh and lingering glance, she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were on the precipice of something more—something beautiful yet terrifying.

C H A P T E R   T W E L V E

The first cracks

The following weeks passed in a whirlwind of laughter, late-night talks, and tentative steps toward rebuilding their friendship. Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) found themselves spending more time together—playing video games, cooking together, and exploring the town.

Yet, with every shared moment, (YOUR NAME) felt the intensity between them grow. It was in the way their fingers brushed as they reached for the same bowl, the lingering gazes that held unspoken emotions, and the way her heart raced whenever he was near.

One evening, they sat on the living room floor, surrounded by empty snack bowls and video game controllers. They had just finished a particularly intense match, and Matsukawa leaned back, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Okay, I’m officially the worst player in history,” he said with a mock sigh.

(YOUR NAME) laughed, nudging him playfully. “You just need to practice more. I can give you some tips.”

“Right. Because losing to you is going to be a real confidence booster,” he replied, rolling his eyes but unable to hide his smile.

As they continued to banter, (YOUR NAME) felt the atmosphere shift. The playful jabs became softer, more intimate, and the air thickened with something unspoken. She could see it in Matsukawa’s eyes, the way he looked at her as if she were the only one in the room.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, interrupting the moment. Mei popped her head in, grinning widely. “Hey, lovebirds! What are you doing down here?”

Both (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa jumped to their feet, their faces flushing in embarrassment. “We’re just… hanging out,” (YOUR NAME) stammered, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.

Mei raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “Sure. Anyway, I was thinking of heading to the café down the street. Want to join?”

“Sounds good,” Matsukawa replied, shooting (YOUR NAME) a glance that hinted at their earlier moment. “Let me just grab my jacket.”

As he left the room, Mei turned to (YOUR NAME), her expression teasing. “You two seem to be getting awfully cozy. What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” (YOUR NAME) replied too quickly, biting her lip. “We’re just friends.”

Mei studied her for a moment, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “Just friends? Is that what you’re calling it now?”

(YOUR NAME) groaned, feeling exposed under her friend’s gaze. “Can we not talk about this right now?”

“Fine, fine,” Mei said, raising her hands in mock surrender. “But just know that I’m here if you need to spill the tea.”

“Thanks, I guess,” (YOUR NAME) replied, trying to refocus her thoughts. She couldn’t let Mei’s teasing distract her from what was happening between her and Matsukawa.

When Matsukawa returned, he had his jacket on and a playful smirk that sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. As they walked to the café, the banter resumed, but the atmosphere felt different, charged with anticipation.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T E E N

                    A shift in the air

The café was bustling with life, the aroma of fresh coffee and baked goods wrapping around them as they settled into a cozy corner. As they chatted over drinks, (YOUR NAME) felt the warmth of Matsukawa’s gaze, igniting something within her.

They shared stories about their childhood, laughter spilling between them as they reminisced about the silly moments that had once bonded them. The connection felt natural, effortless, and yet, there was an underlying tension that crackled in the air.

“So, do you have a crush on anyone?” Mei asked suddenly, interrupting their conversation and sending a teasing glance toward Matsukawa.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart raced, and she shot Mei a warning look, hoping to divert the attention. But Matsukawa simply raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “What about you, (YOUR NAME)?”

“Uh, I—” she stumbled, suddenly aware of the weight of their shared history. “I mean, no, not really.”

Matsukawa leaned forward, the teasing glimmer in his eyes intensifying. “Oh come on, you must have someone in mind. Don’t be shy.”

“Yeah, spill the tea!” Mei chimed in, leaning eagerly toward her.

(YOUR NAME) felt heat creeping up her cheeks. “It’s not a big deal, really. I’ve just been focused on… other things.”

“Like your blossoming friendship with Matsukawa?” Mei grinned, clearly enjoying the moment.

“Very funny,” (YOUR NAME) replied, trying to play it off. But the truth hung between them, heavy and unspoken.

As the conversation continued, (YOUR NAME) noticed the way Matsukawa's gaze lingered on her, a mixture of teasing and something deeper. It made her pulse quicken, filling her with a mix of exhilaration and anxiety.

“Okay, fine. If you must know, there’s someone I’ve been thinking about,” she finally said, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

“Really? Who?” Mei leaned in, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

(YOUR NAME) hesitated, glancing at Matsukawa, who was watching her with an intensity that made her heart race. “Um… well, it’s not really a big deal,” she deflected, the words tumbling out before she could catch them.

Matsukawa’s lips curled into a teasing smile. “You know, it’s not cool to keep us in suspense.”

“Yeah, just tell us!” Mei insisted, bouncing slightly in her seat.

“Fine! It’s just… someone from school,” (YOUR NAME) said, her cheeks flushing. “It’s nothing serious, just a crush.”

“Do I know him?” Matsukawa asked, tilting his head, his interest piqued.

“Maybe,” she replied, biting her lip, trying to hide the nervous excitement building inside her.

Mei raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “You’re terrible at this. Just tell us already.”

Before (YOUR NAME) could respond, the café door swung open, and a gust of wind swept through the room. A few familiar faces stepped in, and Matsukawa’s expression shifted as he recognized them.

“Looks like the gang’s here,” he said, nodding toward the newcomers. “Do you mind if we join them?”

(YOUR NAME) felt a pang of disappointment at the interruption but nodded. “Sure.”

As they moved to greet their friends, the energy in the café shifted. The group was lively, full of inside jokes and shared stories that made (YOUR NAME) feel like an outsider for a moment. She caught Matsukawa’s eye, and there was a silent understanding between them—a promise that they would pick up where they left off.

Throughout the evening, (YOUR NAME) found herself drawn to him again, his laughter infectious, his presence magnetic. They all played games and took goofy photos, yet the moments when Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) were alone together were becoming increasingly charged. Each casual touch, every shared glance felt like a reminder of the unacknowledged feelings simmering beneath the surface.

As they finally prepared to leave, Matsukawa fell into step beside her. “So… about what you said earlier,” he started, hesitating as they walked outside into the cool night air.

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart race. “What about it?”

“Do you really have a crush on someone? Or were you just saying that to get Mei off your back?” He glanced sideways at her, the corner of his mouth twitching in a teasing smile.

She paused, weighing her options. “I might have a crush. But it’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Matsukawa pressed, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Because it’s you,” she blurted out before she could think better of it.

The words hung in the air, shocking both of them into silence. (YOUR NAME)’s heart raced, pounding in her ears as she braced herself for his reaction.

Matsukawa stopped walking, his expression shifting from playful to serious. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she stammered, feeling a wave of vulnerability wash over her, “I’ve liked you for a while now. But I didn’t know how to say it because of everything that happened between us. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship again.”

For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. Matsukawa stared at her, surprise etched on his features, his mouth slightly open as if he were searching for the right words.

“(YOUR NAME)…” he finally said, stepping closer, his voice low. “I didn’t think you felt that way.”

“I do,” she affirmed, her heart pounding. “But I also know it’s risky. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Matsukawa ran a hand through his hair, visibly grappling with his emotions. “I—”

Before he could finish, Mei and the others emerged from the café, laughing and joking as they approached. (YOUR NAME)’s heart sank. The moment felt shattered, their raw honesty slipping away like sand through fingers.

“Hey! What were you two talking about?” Mei asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Nothing!” (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa said in unison, their voices slightly too loud.

Mei raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced but choosing to let it go—for now. They all headed back, but (YOUR NAME) felt the weight of Matsukawa’s gaze lingering on her, filled with unspoken words and emotions.

C H A P T E R    F O U R T E E N

The unseen battle

The next few days passed in a blur of excitement and confusion. (YOUR NAME) was hyper-aware of Matsukawa, their previous conversation lingering like a sweet ache in the back of her mind. Every time their eyes met, a rush of electricity coursed through her, but there was also an underlying tension that made her heart race with anxiety.

Mei noticed the shift in (YOUR NAME), teasing her about how she had “that look” whenever Matsukawa was around. It was true; her heart fluttered at the mere thought of him. But the fear of rejection kept her on edge, unsure of how to navigate the delicate path they were walking.

One evening, while they were all hanging out at Mei’s house, a group of friends decided to play a game of Truth or Dare. The laughter echoed through the room, and (YOUR NAME) couldn’t help but join in, her heart racing each time Matsukawa’s gaze fell on her.

“Okay, Matsukawa,” Mei said, grinning widely. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he replied confidently, leaning back in his chair.

“I dare you to kiss the person you have a crush on!” Mei announced, the challenge hanging in the air like a spell.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart dropped into her stomach as everyone turned to look at Matsukawa, who froze for a moment, his expression a mix of surprise and contemplation.

“Uh, I can’t—” he started, glancing at (YOUR NAME), who was suddenly aware of the heat rising to her cheeks.

“Come on! It’s just a game,” Mei encouraged, clearly enjoying the chaos.

“Yeah, Matsukawa. Don’t be a chicken!” one of their friends added, laughter erupting around the room.

Matsukawa bit his lip, his gaze still locked on (YOUR NAME). She felt her breath quicken, caught between excitement and dread. What if he actually did it? What if he didn’t?

“Okay, fine,” he said finally, standing up and stepping closer to (YOUR NAME), who felt her heart race with every step he took.

The room fell silent, all eyes on them, anticipation crackling in the air. Matsukawa stopped in front of her, his expression serious. “You sure you want this?”

(YOUR NAME) swallowed hard, her heart pounding. “Yes,” she managed to whisper, though her voice felt weak.

He leaned in, and for a moment, it felt like the world had faded away, leaving just the two of them. Their lips brushed together softly, a tentative exploration that sent shockwaves through her entire being.

The room erupted into cheers and laughter, but all (YOUR NAME) could focus on was the warmth of Matsukawa’s lips against hers and the way her heart soared. It was everything she had imagined and more—a whirlwind of emotions crashing around them.

When they finally pulled away, breathless and wide-eyed, Matsukawa looked as surprised as she felt. “Wow,” he said, his voice low. “That was… unexpected.”

“Yeah,” (YOUR NAME) breathed, still reeling from the moment. But as laughter erupted around them, she felt a nagging sense of uncertainty creep in.

“What does this mean for us?” she asked quietly, suddenly aware of the weight of their actions.

Matsukawa’s expression shifted, the playful smile fading slightly. “I don’t know,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just a game, right?”

The words struck her like a blow, and her heart sank. “Right,” she echoed, forcing a smile as if the joy of the moment hadn’t just turned to ash in her mouth.

C H A P T E R   F I F T E E N

Shifting sands

The days following the party felt heavy with unspoken words. Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) fell into an awkward rhythm, their conversations punctuated by the memory of that kiss—sweet and charged, yet laced with uncertainty. She found herself replaying it over and over in her mind, each recollection filling her with warmth but also confusion.

Whenever they hung out, she noticed Matsukawa acting slightly distant, his smiles a touch more guarded. It was as if the kiss had thrown him off balance, and the lightness of their connection now felt precarious.

One afternoon, (YOUR NAME) found herself sitting on the porch steps, lost in thought, when Mei joined her, plopping down beside her.

“Hey, you okay?” Mei asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” (YOUR NAME) replied, forcing a smile. “Just thinking.”

Mei raised an eyebrow. “About Matsukawa?”

(YOUR NAME) sighed, the weight of her emotions spilling out. “I don’t know what’s happening between us anymore. That kiss was… amazing, but now it feels like he’s pulling away.”

Mei’s expression softened. “It’s normal to feel confused after something like that. You guys were friends first, and now there’s this… added layer.”

“I know,” (YOUR NAME) admitted, staring out at the yard where the sunlight danced through the leaves. “But I thought we were on the same page. After the kiss, I thought maybe we could explore something more.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” Mei suggested, her voice gentle but firm.

“No, I haven’t,” (YOUR NAME) confessed, guilt washing over her. “I don’t want to pressure him. What if he regrets it?”

“Or what if he feels the same way?” Mei countered. “You won’t know unless you ask.”

(YOUR NAME) bit her lip, contemplating her friend’s words. The idea of confronting Matsukawa terrified her, but the uncertainty gnawed at her heart. “What if he doesn’t want to take things further? What if I ruin everything?”

“Sometimes you have to take risks, (YOUR NAME). Life is too short to play it safe,” Mei encouraged, nudging her shoulder playfully. “Besides, you two have already been through so much together. If he’s worth it, he’ll understand.”

Taking a deep breath, (YOUR NAME) weighed her options. She knew she couldn’t continue living in this limbo, haunted by what-ifs. “You’re right. I need to talk to him.”

Mei smiled, pride shining in her eyes. “That’s the spirit! Just be honest, and you’ll figure it out together.”

With renewed determination, (YOUR NAME) stood up, feeling a mixture of anxiety and hope. “Thanks, Mei. I’ll do it.”

Later that evening, (YOUR NAME) texted Matsukawa, her heart pounding as she typed out the words. 

(YOUR NAME): Can we talk?

 She hit send before she could second-guess herself.

Moments later, her phone buzzed with a reply.

Matsukawa: Sure. Wanna meet at the park?

(YOUR NAME)’s heart raced. The park was their usual spot, filled with memories of laughter and late-night talks. It felt like the perfect place to finally have the conversation they both needed.

When she arrived, the evening sun cast a warm glow over the park, and she spotted Matsukawa sitting on their favorite bench, his expression contemplative. As she approached, her stomach twisted with nerves.

“Hey,” she greeted, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Hey,” he replied, looking up and offering a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course,” (YOUR NAME) said, taking a seat beside him. “I wanted to talk about… well, what happened at the party.”

Matsukawa’s expression shifted, his gaze dropping to the ground. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too.”

“Have you?” she asked, her heart pounding. “What do you think it means for us?”

He hesitated, clearly weighing his words. “I liked it, (YOUR NAME). I really did. But things are complicated.”

“Why? Because of our history?” she pressed, feeling a mix of frustration and hope.

“Partly,” he admitted, looking pained. “But mostly because I don’t want to hurt you again. I care about you too much for that.”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart swell. “I care about you too, Matsukawa. But if we don’t talk about this, we’ll just keep dancing around it.”

He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’m scared of losing what we have. But I also don’t want to pretend there’s nothing between us.”

“Then let’s explore it,” she said, her voice steady. “I want to see where this could go. We’ve both changed. We can make it work.”

Matsukawa looked at her, a mixture of relief and fear in his eyes. “You really mean that?”

“I do,” she affirmed, feeling a rush of hope. “But we have to be open with each other. No more hiding.”

“Agreed,” he said, a genuine smile breaking through. “Then let’s figure this out together.”

As they talked late into the evening, the tension began to melt away, replaced by a sense of clarity. They shared their fears, their dreams, and the memories that shaped their connection. With each shared word, (YOUR NAME) felt the foundation of their relationship shifting—solidifying into something deeper and more profound.

And as the stars twinkled overhead, (YOUR NAME) realized that while the path ahead might be uncertain, they were finally ready to face it together.

C H A P T E R   S I X T E E N

A new beginning

The following weeks were a whirlwind of emotions for (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa. With the walls they had built between them finally crumbling, they found themselves navigating the uncharted waters of their relationship.

At school, their friends noticed the change, whispering and nudging each other whenever (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa were together. While it felt like a spotlight had been cast on them, there was a comfort in their newfound connection that made (YOUR NAME) glow with happiness.

One afternoon, while studying together at (YOUR NAME)’s house, they sat at the kitchen table with textbooks scattered around them. The late afternoon sun streamed in through the window, casting a warm light on their faces.

“Okay, explain this equation to me one more time,” (YOUR NAME) said, furrowing her brow as she glanced at Matsukawa.

Matsukawa leaned over, pointing to her textbook. “It’s all about finding the right variables. Think of it as… our relationship. You have to know which parts fit together.”

(YOUR NAME) laughed, her heart fluttering at his playful comparison. “So, I’m the variable?”

“Definitely. The most important one,” he teased, grinning.

Their laughter filled the kitchen, a comfortable intimacy surrounding them. But amidst the lightness, there was still an underlying tension—the unspoken acknowledgment of the feelings growing deeper between them.

As the study session wore on, Matsukawa’s hand brushed against hers, igniting a spark that made her pulse quicken. She looked up, meeting his gaze, and for a moment, the world outside faded away.

“Can I ask you something?” he said, his tone shifting to something more serious.

“Of course,” she replied, her heart racing.

“What do you think about labels?” he asked, his expression earnest. “Like, boyfriend and girlfriend?”

(YOUR NAME) felt her cheeks heat up. “I think they can be important. They clarify things… but I’m also okay with just seeing where this goes.”

He nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I agree. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

“Sounds good to me,” she said, a smile breaking across her face.

As the evening wore on, they shared stories and laughter, weaving their lives together in a way that felt natural and effortless. It was a new beginning—one that felt both exciting and terrifying.

C H A P T E R   S E V E N T E E N

The first test

Just as things were beginning to settle into a comfortable rhythm, life threw a curveball at (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa. One Friday, during lunch, a group of their classmates gathered around the table, the conversation turning to the upcoming school dance.

“Are you going, Matsukawa?” one of their friends asked, nudging him playfully.

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” Matsukawa replied, a casual smile on his face.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart sank slightly at the thought of the dance. While she was excited about the idea of going with Matsukawa, she didn’t want to pressure him.

“Come on! You have to go!” another friend chimed in. “It’s our last year! You can’t miss it.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun!” Mei added, looking at (YOUR NAME) with a knowing smile.

Feeling her heart race, (YOUR NAME) decided to speak up. “What if we all go together? As a group?”

“That sounds perfect!” Mei exclaimed. “We can make it a night to remember!”

Matsukawa glanced at (YOUR NAME), his expression thoughtful. “Sure, that could work.”

As the group continued to chat excitedly about outfits and plans, (YOUR NAME) felt a mix of exhilaration and nerves. She could hardly focus on the conversation, her mind racing with the possibilities of the dance. But a nagging worry tugged at her heart—what if they faced judgment from their peers? What if their rekindled friendship was put to the test?

Later that evening, as (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa walked home together, she decided to voice her concerns. “Hey, about the dance… I know it’s going to be a bit of a spectacle with everyone watching us.”

Matsukawa glanced at her, his brow furrowing slightly. “You worried about what people will say?”

“Yeah, a little,” she admitted. “I don’t want anyone to make things awkward.”

“Why should we let others dictate what we feel?” he asked, his tone earnest. “This is about us, not them. If we want to go together, we should.”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart swell at his words. “You’re right. I just… don’t want it to change anything between us.”

Matsukawa smiled softly, reaching for her hand. “I promise, no matter what happens, we’ll figure it out together.”

Feeling reassured, (YOUR NAME) squeezed his hand, a smile spreading across her face. The dance was going to be an adventure, and together, they could face whatever came their way.

C H A P T E R   E I G H T E E N

The dance

The day of the dance arrived, and excitement buzzed in the air. (YOUR NAME) spent the afternoon getting ready, her heart racing with anticipation. She chose a beautiful navy-blue dress that hugged her figure perfectly and made her feel confident. As she looked in the mirror, she couldn’t help but smile at the reflection staring back at her.

Mei had come over to help her with her hair and makeup, and the two girls laughed and chatted as they prepared for the evening.

“You’re going to look amazing,” Mei said, applying the finishing touches. “Matsukawa won’t be able to take his eyes off you!”

(YOUR NAME) felt her cheeks heat up. “I hope so! I just want it to be special.”

“You two have been through so much already. Just enjoy the moment,” Mei encouraged, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

When Matsukawa arrived to pick her up, (YOUR NAME)’s heart fluttered at the sight of him. He looked dashing in a tailored suit, his hair styled just right. As he took in her appearance, his expression shifted from surprise to awe.

“You look incredible,” he breathed, a genuine smile lighting up his face.

“Thanks! You clean up pretty well yourself,” she replied, feeling a wave of warmth wash over her.

As they headed to the dance, excitement mixed with nervousness coursed through (YOUR NAME). They arrived at the school, where the music pulsed and laughter echoed. The decorations transformed the gym into a vibrant wonderland of lights and colors.

Once inside, they were quickly surrounded by their friends, the energy of the night infectious. Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) found themselves dancing, lost in the music and the atmosphere, their earlier worries melting away.

As the night wore on, they shared stolen glances and soft touches, each moment filled with unspoken understanding. But just as (YOUR NAME) began to relax, she noticed a group of students whispering and pointing in their direction. Her heart sank, anxiety creeping back in.

“Are they talking about us?” she whispered to Matsukawa, her voice laced with concern.

He followed her gaze, spotting the group. “Ignore them. We’re here to have fun, right?”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded, trying to shake off the unease. “You’re right.”

As the last song of the night played, Matsukawa pulled her closer, their bodies swaying to the music. “I’m glad we came,” he murmured, looking down at her.

“Me too,” she said, her heart racing. “Thank you for being you.”

“Always,” he replied, leaning down to kiss her softly. In that moment, the rest of the world faded away, leaving only the two of them and the magic of the night.

C H A P T E R   N I N E T E E N

Tensions rising

The following week at school, the buzz surrounding the dance lingered in the air. While (YOUR NAME) felt buoyed by the magic of the night, she could also sense an undercurrent of tension in her interactions with Matsukawa.

After school one day, they found themselves in the library, poring over textbooks for an upcoming exam. The air was thick with unspoken words as (YOUR NAME) stole glances at Matsukawa, who seemed lost in thought.

“Hey, are you okay?” she finally asked, breaking the silence.

He looked up, a hint of surprise in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about school stuff.”

“Really? Because you’ve been acting a little distant lately,” she said, her heart racing at the thought of something being wrong.

Matsukawa sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just… I feel like there’s a lot of pressure on us right now. Everyone is watching.”

“Is that bothering you?” (YOUR NAME) asked, trying to gauge his feelings.

“It’s not that I don’t like being with you. I do. It’s just… I don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially you,” he confessed, his gaze dropping.

(YOUR NAME) felt a pang of empathy. “Matsukawa, we’re in this together. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is how we feel.”

He nodded slowly, but the tension in his posture remained. “I know. I just don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“Then let’s take it one day at a time. We don’t have to put labels on anything just yet,” she suggested, hoping to ease his worries.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, though she could tell he was still grappling with his thoughts.

As they returned to their studies, (YOUR NAME) couldn’t shake the feeling that their relationship was teetering on a delicate balance. Every laugh shared seemed tinged with uncertainty, and every conversation felt laden with the unspoken fears that hovered between them.

After school, the tension seemed to follow them into their extracurricular activities. They had joined a club that organized events for students, and while they usually enjoyed planning together, the underlying stress began to seep into their interactions.

One afternoon, while they were brainstorming ideas for the upcoming charity event, (YOUR NAME) noticed Matsukawa was unusually quiet. He stared at the planning sheet with furrowed brows, scribbling notes but not contributing to the conversation.

“Matsukawa?” she prompted gently, “What’s going on?”

He sighed, looking up with a conflicted expression. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed. It feels like everything is piling up—school, our friends, and us.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart sank at his words. “You don’t have to shoulder it all alone. We can tackle it together.”

“I appreciate that,” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s just… I worry that I’m not good enough for you.”

“What?” (YOUR NAME) exclaimed, taken aback. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you deserve someone who has it all figured out. I’m still trying to find my way,” he admitted, his vulnerability striking a chord in her.

“Matsukawa, we’re both still figuring things out. That’s what this time is for. I like you for who you are, not some ideal version of you,” she reassured him.

He met her gaze, the conflict still swirling in his eyes. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

(YOUR NAME) felt a rush of warmth and determination. “You won’t disappoint me. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

The sincerity in her voice seemed to soften the tension in his shoulders. “Thank you,” he said, a small smile breaking through. “I guess I needed to hear that.”

As they continued discussing the event, (YOUR NAME) felt a renewed sense of hope. They still had challenges ahead, but she was determined to face them together.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y

The charity event

The day of the charity event arrived, and excitement buzzed in the air. Students scurried about, setting up decorations and arranging tables. (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa were assigned to oversee the games section, and their laughter echoed as they worked side by side.

As the sun set and the gym transformed into a festive space adorned with twinkling lights, (YOUR NAME)’s heart raced with anticipation. This was the moment they had worked toward together, and she felt proud of how far they had come.

“You ready for this?” Matsukawa asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Absolutely! This is going to be amazing!” she replied, feeling her spirits lift.

As the event kicked off, (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa jumped into action, engaging with their classmates and overseeing the various games. They both thrived in the lively atmosphere, exchanging playful banter and smiles.

But as the night wore on, (YOUR NAME) noticed a group of students lingering nearby, whispering and casting furtive glances their way. She felt a flutter of anxiety, remembering the tension that had previously hung over them.

“Matsukawa, do you see them?” she murmured, nodding toward the group.

“Yeah, I do,” he replied, a frown crossing his face. “Ignore them. We’re here to have fun.”

She took a deep breath, trying to push her worries aside. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to ruin the night. “You’re right. Let’s focus on the event.”

As the evening progressed, (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa found themselves enjoying the moment. They played games with younger students, laughed at the ridiculous prizes, and felt the warmth of their connection grow stronger.

But then, the unthinkable happened. During a particularly loud game, someone bumped into (YOUR NAME), causing her to spill soda all over Matsukawa’s shirt. The room went silent as everyone turned to watch.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

Matsukawa laughed, though she could see the hint of discomfort in his eyes. “It’s okay! I needed a wardrobe change anyway,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

But before she could respond, one of the onlookers chimed in, “Looks like someone can’t control her drinks around her crush!”

Laughter erupted from the crowd, and (YOUR NAME)’s face burned with humiliation. The teasing cut deeper than she expected, twisting her stomach in knots.

Matsukawa shot her an encouraging glance, but she could see the discomfort clouding his features. “Let’s go get some napkins,” he suggested, leading her away from the crowd.

Once they were out of earshot, (YOUR NAME) turned to him, her heart racing. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make a scene.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair again. “It’s not your fault. It’s just… you heard what they said. It’s hard not to feel the pressure when everyone is watching.”

(YOUR NAME) felt a surge of frustration. “You shouldn’t let them get to you. We’re here to have fun and raise money for a good cause!”

“I know,” he replied, his voice low. “But it’s difficult when it feels like everyone has an opinion about us. I just don’t want to let you down.”

“You won’t let me down,” she insisted, stepping closer. “I’m not going to let what they say ruin tonight.”

He met her gaze, and for a moment, the world around them faded away. “You’re right. I just… I guess I need to learn to tune them out.”

“Exactly,” she said, her heart swelling with determination. “Let’s show them how much fun we can have.”

With a renewed sense of purpose, they returned to the event, the atmosphere buzzing with energy. As they engaged with their friends and laughed off the awkward moment, (YOUR NAME) felt a shift within herself. She realized that no matter the challenges they faced, their connection was strong enough to withstand it all.

As the night drew to a close, Matsukawa took her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I’m glad we’re in this together,” he said, his voice warm.

“Me too,” she replied, her heart soaring. “This is just the beginning.”

Under the twinkling lights of the gym, they shared a soft, lingering kiss—an affirmation of their bond and a promise to face whatever came next, together.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  O N E

Rumors and reckoning

The days following the charity event were a storm brewing beneath the surface. The once-quiet halls of school were now buzzing with gossip about (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa. Whispers chased them like shadows, each rumor sharper than the last, cutting deeper into their relationship.

One afternoon in the cafeteria, as they sat together, a group of girls at a nearby table erupted in laughter.

“Did you see Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME)? Such a cliché couple!” one of them sneered, her voice dripping with disdain. “She’s just using him for attention.”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart drop. She tried to push the words aside, but they festered, igniting a fire of anger within her.

“Are you okay?” Matsukawa asked, sensing her tension.

“No! I’m not okay!” she snapped, surprising herself with her outburst. “Can’t you see what they’re saying? It’s humiliating!”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, frustration etched on his face. “(YOUR NAME), just ignore them. We know the truth.”

“Just ignore them?” she shot back, incredulous. “They’re tearing us apart, and you want to act like it’s nothing?”

“Acting like it’s nothing is better than letting them win!” Matsukawa’s voice rose, drawing the attention of nearby students.

“Winning? This isn’t a game!” (YOUR NAME) retorted, her voice shaking with anger. “This is our relationship!”

“Then stop letting them control how you feel!” he argued, his frustration boiling over.

“You think this is easy for me?” she snapped, standing up, her heart racing. “You don’t get it, Matsukawa! It’s not just rumors; it’s everyone judging us, and it hurts!”

Before he could respond, a group of boys nearby laughed, mocking their argument. “Looks like Matsukawa can’t handle a real girlfriend!” one shouted, and laughter erupted.

(YOUR NAME)’s face flushed with anger. “Shut up!” she yelled, her heart pounding in her chest. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Why are you even defending him?” another boy chimed in. “He’s just going to dump you when someone better comes along!”

“That’s enough!” Matsukawa shouted, his voice filled with rage. He stood, glaring at the boys.

“Oh, are you going to cry about it?” one of the boys jeered, pushing Matsukawa.

In a flash, Matsukawa pushed back, anger spilling over. “Don’t touch me!”

“Matsukawa, don’t.” (YOUR NAME) shifted, feeling the tension escalate.

But it was too late. Matsukawa and the boy were face-to-face, fists clenched, eyes blazing. The cafeteria fell silent, all eyes on them as the fight threatened to break loose.

“Just walk away,” (YOUR NAME) hissed at Matsukawa.

“No! I’m done with this!” he shouted, his anger palpable. “I’m not going to let them talk about you like that!”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart sank, realizing that the fight was about to turn physical. “Matsukawa.” She hissed once more, stepping between them. “Don’t.” she warned.

But he pushed past her, fists raised. “You think I'm just gonna sit there and listen to their dumb ass shit?”

“Stop it.” she warned once more, friction lacing her voice. “This isn’t going to solve anything.”

The tension crackled in the air as Matsukawa glared at the boy, who was smirking, egging him on. “Go ahead, throw the first punch. Show everyone how tough you really are.”

“Matsukawa, fucking don’t.” (YOUR NAME) gave a silent plea.

Finally, he hesitated, lowering his fists as he looked at her, confusion and anger battling in his eyes. “You don’t understand!” he yelled, frustration spilling over. “I’m fighting for us!”

“Fighting for us? This is going to ruin us!” She let out a tension filled sneer.

Realizing the truth in her words, Matsukawa stepped back, his breathing heavy. “Fine. Walk away. Just like everyone else,” he spat, turning on his heel and storming off, leaving (YOUR NAME) feeling shattered at the sudden dismissal of her.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  T W O

The distance between us

With Matsukawa’s angry departure, (YOUR NAME) felt a cold emptiness settle around her. Days turned into a blur of silence, filled only with the echoes of their last fight.

At school, their interactions became strained, each passing moment a reminder of the unresolved tension. They exchanged glances in the halls, but any hint of warmth had been replaced with awkwardness.

One afternoon, as she sat with Mei in the library, (YOUR NAME)’s heart ached. “I don’t know what to do,” she admitted, burying her face in her hands. “It feels like he’s gone.”

“Have you talked to him?” Mei asked gently.

“No,” she whispered, the words sticking in her throat. “What if he hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s just angry,” Mei reassured her. “You both need to clear the air.”

“I don’t even know if I want to,” (YOUR NAME) admitted, feeling the weight of her own confusion. “What if it’s too late?”

That evening, she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, wrestling with her thoughts. She missed him—their laughter, the way he made her feel safe. But the anger from their last encounter hung heavy in the air.

As days turned into a week, (YOUR NAME) found herself avoiding places where she might run into him. But the ache in her heart only grew stronger.

Then, one fateful afternoon, their paths crossed in the hallway. Matsukawa stood by his locker, surrounded by friends, but his eyes locked onto hers, filled with an intensity that made her heart race.

“Hey,” he said, his voice quiet but edged with tension.

“Hey,” she replied, her pulse quickening.

A moment of silence stretched between them, thick with unspoken words. But before she could say anything, one of Matsukawa’s friends interrupted. “You two really need to sort this out. It’s getting pathetic.”

Matsukawa’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond. (YOUR NAME) felt a wave of frustration wash over her. “This isn’t your business!” she snapped, her voice sharp.

Matsukawa’s friends exchanged glances, surprised. “We’re just trying to help,” one said defensively.

“Help? By making things worse?” she shot back, her anger flaring. “You have no idea what we’re going through!”

Matsukawa stepped closer, an unreadable expression on his face. “(YOUR NAME), maybe we should just leave it.”

“Leave it?” she echoed, disbelief washing over her. “Are you serious? You want to pretend this isn’t happening?”

“I don’t want to fight!” he insisted, frustration bubbling over. “Every time we talk, it ends in an argument!”

“Maybe that’s because you refuse to see how serious this is!” she yelled, tears pricking her eyes. “I’m tired of feeling like I’m fighting this alone!”

“Matsukawa, do you even care?” she asked, her voice trembling.

“Of course I care!” he shot back, his voice rising. “But I’m not going to beg you to stay!”

Their friends watched, tension thick in the air, as (YOUR NAME) felt the ground beneath her shift. “Maybe I shouldn’t stay!” she yelled, hurt spilling over. “Maybe we’re better off apart!”

Matsukawa’s expression faltered, and she could see the pain etched on his face. “Is that really what you want?” he asked, voice low and raw.

“Maybe it is!” she retorted, her heart racing as the finality of her words hung between them.

Before he could respond, she turned on her heel and walked away, each step feeling like a dagger to her heart.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  T H R E E

The breaking point

Days turned into weeks, and the silence between (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa became a deafening roar. Each time they crossed paths, the weight of unspoken words loomed over them, suffocating.

(YOUR NAME) poured herself into her studies, drowning out her emotions with schoolwork, but nothing could fill the void Matsukawa left behind. She missed him, but pride and pain kept her from reaching out.

One afternoon, during an after-school study session, she overheard a group of girls gossiping again.

“I heard Matsukawa is seeing someone else,” one whispered. “He’s probably just tired of (YOUR NAME)’s drama.”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart sink, a mix of anger and despair flooding her. How could they say that? She had been the one to push him away, but the thought of him moving on felt unbearable.

That night, after tossing and turning, she sent a hesitant text to Matsukawa. 

(YOUR NAME): Can we talk?

Minutes felt like hours as she waited for a response. Finally, her phone buzzed.

Matsukawa:  Fine. Where?

(YOUR NAME): Outside the school?

When they met, the air was thick with tension, both of them standing at a distance as if afraid to bridge the gap.

“Why did you want to meet?” Matsukawa asked, arms crossed, his expression guarded.

“I heard something,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I wanted to know if it’s true.”

Matsukawa’s eyes narrowed, tension brimming between them. “What did you hear?”

(YOUR NAME) took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. “That you’re seeing someone else,” she forced out, the words bitter on her tongue. “Is it true?”

For a moment, Matsukawa’s expression was unreadable, his eyes flickering with something she couldn’t place—hurt, frustration, anger?

“You think I’m seeing someone else? After everything we’ve been through?” His voice was low, but the sting of betrayal was unmistakable.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” (YOUR NAME) admitted, her voice cracking. “We’re falling apart, Matsukawa. I don’t even know if you care.”

“Of course I care!” he snapped, stepping closer, his eyes blazing with raw emotion. “But you pushed me away! You’re the one who said we’d be better off apart!”

“I didn’t mean it!” (YOUR NAME) yelled, her frustration boiling over. “I was angry and hurt! And you just— you just let me walk away!”

“What was I supposed to do?” Matsukawa’s voice rose, his own anger and hurt pouring out. “You said it like you meant it. Like we were done. Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you walk away?”

“I thought you didn’t care!” (YOUR NAME) shouted, tears blurring her vision. “I thought you’d moved on!”

“I never moved on!” Matsukawa’s voice cracked, his fists clenched at his sides. “I couldn’t. I’ve been miserable without you!”

The words hit (YOUR NAME) like a punch to the gut. For a moment, she didn’t know how to respond, her emotions swirling in a confusing mix of relief and pain.

“Matsukawa,” she whispered, stepping closer, her voice trembling, “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because I didn’t know if you wanted to hear it,” he said, his voice raw. “You said we were better off apart, (YOUR NAME). You broke my heart.”

The intensity of his words broke something inside her, and suddenly, the walls she’d built around herself crumbled. She reached for him, her fingers brushing his arm, needing to feel the connection she’d missed so desperately.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

For a moment, Matsukawa hesitated, his jaw clenched, his eyes clouded with the weight of everything left unsaid between them. Then, as if something inside him snapped, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Not again. Not ever.”

(YOUR NAME) buried her face in his chest, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t want to lose you either,” she whispered. “I can’t.”

The storm that had raged between them for weeks seemed to settle, but the damage lingered, leaving behind scars that neither of them knew how to heal.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y    F O U R

Healing wounds

After their emotional confrontation, (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa decided to give their relationship another chance. But as they stood on the precipice of rekindling their connection, both were painfully aware of the scars left behind by their past fights and misunderstandings.

The following week, they met after school at a small park, the fading light of dusk casting long shadows around them. The air felt heavy with unspoken words, and (YOUR NAME) felt a mixture of hope and anxiety.

“Are we really doing this?” Matsukawa asked, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he looked at her. “Starting over, I mean?”

“I want to,” (YOUR NAME) replied, her voice steady but her heart racing. “But we need to talk about everything that happened.”

“Yeah, we do,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I can’t keep pretending like I’m fine when I’m not.”

As they settled on a bench, the silence stretched between them. Finally, (YOUR NAME) spoke. “I was scared. Scared of what everyone said and scared of losing you. So I pushed you away.”

“I was scared too,” Matsukawa admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I thought you were better off without me. I didn’t want to be the reason you got hurt.”

“But hurting each other didn’t solve anything,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I just… I just want us to be okay again.”

He nodded slowly, the weight of her words sinking in. “I want that too. But we need to communicate better. No more walking away or ignoring what we feel.”

“Agreed,” (YOUR NAME) said, relief washing over her. “We can’t let rumors and other people get in the way.”

Just as she felt a spark of hope, Matsukawa’s phone buzzed. He glanced at it, and the smile on his face faded. “I have to take this,” he said, rising from the bench.

As he stepped away, (YOUR NAME) felt a flicker of unease. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. He was gone longer than expected, and when he returned, his expression was clouded with tension.

“Everything okay?” she asked, trying to mask her worry.

“Yeah, just… family stuff,” he said, but there was a tightness in his voice. “Let’s go back to my place. I think we need to talk more.”

As they walked, (YOUR NAME) sensed a shift in the air. The warmth they had just shared was fading, replaced by an undercurrent of anxiety. When they reached his house, Matsukawa’s mood darkened further.

“I’m sorry if I seem off,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just—”

“What is it?” (YOUR NAME) pressed gently.

“My parents are fighting again,” he admitted, his voice low. “It’s really bad this time.”

Her heart ached for him. “I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he replied sharply, then sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, I don’t know. It just makes everything feel worse.”

“Let me in, Matsukawa,” she urged, stepping closer. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

He looked at her, vulnerability flickering in his eyes. “I don’t want to drag you into my mess.”

“I’m already in it,” she said softly, her heart aching for him. “We’re in this together, remember?”

He nodded slowly, and for a moment, they shared a quiet understanding. But as the shadows of doubt loomed, (YOUR NAME) couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to shatter their fragile peace.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  F I V E

Shattered trust

The days following their heartfelt talk passed in a bittersweet haze. They spent more time together, but the lingering tension from Matsukawa’s family issues cast a shadow over their budding relationship.

One afternoon, as they walked home from school, (YOUR NAME) sensed that something had changed. Matsukawa seemed distant, lost in his thoughts, and she felt a growing sense of unease.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, glancing at him. “You seem… off.”

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind,” he replied, his tone evasive.

“You can talk to me, you know,” she pressed, worried about his silence.

“I know,” he said, but there was a reluctance in his voice that made her stomach twist.

When they reached (YOUR NAME)’s house, she turned to him, concern etched on her face. “Please, Matsukawa. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

He hesitated, then took a deep breath. “It’s just… my parents are really at each other’s throats. They keep dragging me into it, and I don’t know how to help them.”

“Have you thought about talking to them about it?” she suggested. “Maybe they just need to know how you feel.”

“I don’t want to add to their problems,” he said, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “They don’t care what I think.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart sank. “That’s not true. They love you.”

“Do they?” he shot back, his voice laced with bitterness. “Because it doesn’t feel that way.”

“Maybe you should just be honest with them,” she suggested gently. “It might help.”

“I can’t just do that,” he said, frustration evident in his tone. “You don’t understand what it’s like.”

“Then help me understand!” she pleaded, desperation creeping into her voice.

“Why do you care so much?” he snapped, stepping back, his expression shifting to anger. “You’re not the one dealing with this!”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart drop. “You’re right. I’m not. But I want to help you, Matsukawa! I’m trying!”

“Trying isn’t enough!” he yelled, his fists clenched at his sides. “I don’t need your pity!”

“I’m not pitying you! I care about you!” she cried, tears stinging her eyes. “But it feels like you’re pushing me away again!”

The silence between them was charged with tension, the air thick with unspoken words. Matsukawa’s expression softened, guilt flickering in his eyes, but the damage was done.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I just… I don’t know how to handle this.”

“Neither do I,” (YOUR NAME) admitted, her heart aching. “But shutting me out isn’t the answer.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, running a hand through his hair, frustration written all over his face. “I just don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Then let me help you!” she urged, stepping closer, her heart racing with emotion. “I want to be here for you, Matsukawa.”

But before he could respond, his phone buzzed again, and the look on his face changed. “I have to take this,” he said, turning away.

As he walked a few steps away, (YOUR NAME) felt a surge of frustration mixed with heartbreak. When he returned, the air between them felt heavy again.

“Sorry, it was my dad,” he said, his voice strained. “I need to go.”

“Go?” she echoed, disbelief creeping into her voice. “You just got here!”

“I know, but I can’t just ignore them,” he said, his eyes darting away. “I have to figure this out.”

“Wait, Matsukawa!” she called, but he was already walking away, leaving her standing there, feeling more alone than ever.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  S I X

Cracks in the armor

As the days went by, Matsukawa’s absence felt more pronounced. They barely spoke, the gaps in their conversations growing wider as his family problems consumed him. Each time (YOUR NAME) reached out, she was met with a wall, his emotional defenses rising higher.

One Friday afternoon, she decided to confront him. They had planned to meet, but he canceled last minute, claiming he had “family stuff.” Frustrated, she showed up at his house unannounced, determined to break through his barriers.

When she knocked, his mother answered, surprise flickering across her face. “Oh, (YOUR NAME)! What a nice surprise. Matsukawa’s in his room,” she said, a hint of concern in her voice.

“Thanks,” (YOUR NAME) replied, her heart racing as she made her way upstairs. She knocked on Matsukawa’s door, her resolve firm.

“Matsukawa, it’s me,” she called softly.

“Go away!” he shouted from the other side, and her heart sank.

“Not until you talk to me!” she insisted, frustration boiling over. “I’m tired of this! I’m tired of you shutting me out!”

After a long pause, the door creaked open, revealing Matsukawa with disheveled hair and dark circles under his eyes. “What do you want?” he asked, his tone defensive.

“I want you to stop pushing me away!” she exclaimed, stepping inside. “I care about you, but it feels like you don’t want me here.”

“I’m dealing with a lot right now!” he shot back, anger flashing in his eyes. “You don’t get it!”

“Then help me understand!” (YOUR NAME) pleaded, frustration spilling over. “You keep saying that, but you won’t let me in!”

He ran a hand through his hair, visibly agitated. “I don’t want to drag you into my mess!

(YOUR NAME) felt her own frustration boiling over. “You think I’m going to walk away because it’s hard? I’ve been here through everything! But you have to let me in!”

“Why can’t you just leave it alone?” Matsukawa demanded, his voice rising again, an edge of desperation in his tone. “You don’t know what I’m going through!”

“Then tell me!” she yelled back, her own anger igniting. “I want to understand! You’re acting like I’m the enemy, and I’m not!”

He looked away, his jaw clenched, frustration evident on his face. “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never had to deal with family like mine!”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart sank at his words. “You think I don’t have problems? I’ve faced my own demons too, Matsukawa! You’re not the only one with a complicated life!”

“Maybe I just don’t want to burden you with mine!” he said, his voice strained. “Maybe I thought you’d be better off without the chaos!”

“Better off?” she echoed incredulously, tears stinging her eyes. “I don’t want to be better off without you! I want to be with you, even when things are hard!”

The silence that followed felt heavy, a suffocating weight pressing down on them. Matsukawa looked away, his expression unreadable. (YOUR NAME)’s heart raced as she watched him wrestle with his thoughts, and she could sense the walls he had built around himself beginning to tremble.

“Why do you care so much?” he asked, his voice quieter now, almost vulnerable.

“Because I love you!” she cried, the words spilling out before she could stop them. “I love you, Matsukawa. I don’t want to walk away; I want to fight for us!”

His eyes widened, surprise flickering across his face. “You… love me?”

“Yes!” she said, her heart pounding in her chest. “I’ve loved you for so long, even when we were apart. You mean too much to me to just give up!”

The moment hung between them, charged with raw emotion. Matsukawa’s defenses began to crumble, but just as he opened his mouth to respond, his phone buzzed again. He glanced at it and cursed under his breath.

“I have to take this,” he said, his voice distant again. “It’s my dad.”

“Matsukawa, please—” she started, but he was already stepping away, leaving her feeling empty and helpless.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  S E V E N

Under pressure

Over the next week, Matsukawa continued to withdraw, his struggles with his family leaving him emotionally drained. Despite her best efforts to reach out, (YOUR NAME) felt like she was losing him all over again.

At school, she tried to distract herself, but everywhere she turned, she saw reminders of him. Their shared memories haunted her, each laughter and secret now tinged with sadness. The walls around her heart began to feel impenetrable as doubt settled in.

One day, during lunch, (YOUR NAME) sat with her friends, forcing herself to smile. But her heart wasn’t in it. “Are you okay?” her friend asked, concern etched on her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied, forcing a smile. But as she glanced at Matsukawa across the cafeteria, talking to a group of friends with a forced grin, her heart ached.

“Does it have to do with Matsukawa?” her friend probed gently.

(YOUR NAME) hesitated, feeling tears well in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore. He keeps shutting me out, and I feel like I’m losing him.”

“Maybe you should talk to him,” her friend suggested. “Tell him how you really feel.”

“I tried,” (YOUR NAME) sighed. “But every time I reach out, he pulls away. It’s like he’s afraid to let me in.”

“Maybe he needs time,” her friend said softly. “But don’t give up on him.”

As the day went on, (YOUR NAME)’s thoughts spiraled. She knew she had to confront Matsukawa again, but how could she break through his walls without pushing him further away?

That afternoon, she found herself waiting by his locker, anxiety gnawing at her. When he finally approached, he looked surprised to see her.

“(YOUR NAME),” he said, his expression shifting from surprise to something more guarded. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk,” she said, her heart racing. “Can we please just talk?”

He hesitated, glancing around as if searching for an escape. “I’m kind of busy right now…”

“Busy with what?” she pressed, frustration bubbling to the surface. “Avoiding me again?”

“No!” he shot back, irritation flashing in his eyes. “I just have stuff going on!”

“Like what?” she demanded, her voice rising. “More family drama? More excuses to push me away?”

His expression hardened, and she felt the familiar walls slam shut. “You don’t get it, (YOUR NAME). This is my life! You don’t know what it’s like to deal with my parents!”

“Then tell me!” she shouted, her heart pounding with a mix of anger and desperation. “Stop pushing me away!”

The fight escalated, words flying back and forth, each accusation and defense stinging like a slap. Students began to watch, their eyes wide with surprise as the tension thickened in the air.

“I don’t need you to fix me!” Matsukawa yelled, frustration spilling over. “I don’t need your pity or your help!”

“I’m not trying to fix you!” (YOUR NAME) shot back, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m trying to be there for you! But it feels like you don’t want me around!”

“I don’t want to be a burden!” he yelled, his voice echoing in the hall. “I can handle my own problems!”

“Clearly, you can’t!” she retorted, the anger spilling over. “You’re shutting everyone out, including me! You’re making this worse!”

With one final glare, Matsukawa turned and walked away, leaving (YOUR NAME) standing there, trembling with emotion and humiliation.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y  E I G H T

The confrontation

The following day, the atmosphere was tense and cold. Matsukawa avoided her at all costs, his friends stepping in to fill the silence he left behind. But as (YOUR NAME) approached him after school, determination burned in her chest.

“Matsukawa!” she called, catching up to him in the parking lot.

He turned, his expression darkening at the sight of her. “What do you want?”

“I want to know what’s really going on,” she pressed, her voice steady despite the tremor of fear in her heart. “You can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s clearly not.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. “You don’t understand how bad things are.”

“Then make me understand,” she urged, stepping closer. “You keep saying that, but you won’t let me in! I want to help you!”

“I don’t want your help!” he snapped, the words biting in the chilly air. “I don’t want you to see me like this!”

(YOUR NAME) felt a surge of anger at his defensiveness. “You think I’m going to judge you? I care about you, Matsukawa! Why can’t you see that?”

“Because you have no idea what this feels like!” he yelled, his voice echoing in the stillness of the parking lot. “I’m dealing with my family falling apart, and I don’t want you caught in the middle of it!”

“I’m already in the middle of it!” she cried, frustration spilling over. “You keep pushing me away, but I’m not going anywhere!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of me!” he shouted back, his anger fading into desperation. “I can’t let that happen!”

“Let me decide what I can handle!” she yelled, tears stinging her eyes. “I’m not a child, Matsukawa! I can handle your problems if you just let me!”

His expression wavered, anger giving way to uncertainty. “What if it’s too much?”

“Then we deal with it together!” she cried, stepping closer, her heart racing. “But you can’t keep shutting me out. I love you too much to let you go through this alone.”

Matsukawa’s defenses finally crumbled, the fight leaving him. He stepped back, his expression raw with emotion. “I don’t know if I can handle this,” he admitted, his voice cracking.

“Then let’s figure it out together,” (YOUR NAME) urged, her heart aching for him. “Please, Matsukawa. I’m right here.”

The tension hung thick between them, but as he looked into her eyes, she saw the flicker of hope begin to spark again.

“I just… I’m scared,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” she replied softly, reaching out to take his hand. “But I promise I won’t let you go. We can face this together.”

For a moment, they stood there, their hands clasped, the world around them fading as they confronted the reality of their struggles. But as the warmth of their connection began to reignite, an ominous feeling crept in—the shadow of a storm brewing just beyond their fragile peace.

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y   N I N E

Torn apart

The fragile peace between (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa hung like a thin thread, each day filled with unspoken words and lingering doubts. Though they were trying to rebuild their connection, the weight of Matsukawa's family troubles loomed over them, threatening to pull them apart again.

One afternoon, (YOUR NAME) found herself waiting for Matsukawa outside of practice, her heart racing with anticipation and fear. As players filtered out, her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for him. Finally, he appeared, but something was off. The usual warmth in his gaze was replaced with a distant look, as if he were miles away.

“Matsukawa!” she called, waving him over.

He approached slowly, the tension radiating from him palpable. “Hey.”

“Can we talk?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady despite her nerves.

“Sure,” he replied, though his tone was flat. They stepped away from the bustling crowd, seeking a quiet corner.

“I know things have been tough,” she began, her heart in her throat. “But I’m here for you. I want to help.”

“I appreciate it, but…” he paused, running a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” she pressed, her frustration bubbling up again. “You can’t keep shutting me out, Matsukawa! I can’t just watch you suffer in silence.”

“I’m trying to protect you!” he snapped, his voice sharper than she expected.

“Protect me from what? From you? You’re the one who needs protecting!” she shot back, hurt flashing in her eyes. “You can’t keep pushing me away. I care about you!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of my problems!” he exclaimed, the frustration in his voice rising. “You don’t know how bad it gets!”

“Then tell me!” she yelled, the anger erupting. “I can’t help you if you don’t let me in!”

He stepped back, the distance between them growing. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you shouldn’t be involved at all.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart sank as his words hit her like a punch. “Are you really saying that? You’re going to just give up on us?”

“It’s not about giving up!” he argued, his voice tinged with desperation. “It’s about keeping you safe!”

“Safe from what?” she shouted, her frustration boiling over. “Safe from loving you? Safe from being there for you? I don’t need your protection if it means losing you!”

His expression softened momentarily, but he shook his head. “I can’t let you get dragged into this mess. It’s not fair to you.”

Tears stung her eyes as she tried to hold back her emotions. “You’re being unfair to both of us. We’re stronger together, and I thought you believed that too.”

As silence stretched between them, (YOUR NAME) felt her heart breaking. Matsukawa turned away, his fists clenched at his sides, and in that moment, she realized how precarious their situation truly was.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y

The storm within

The following week felt like a rollercoaster of emotions. (YOUR NAME) tried to stay strong, but the cracks in their relationship began to widen, fueled by misunderstandings and unspoken words. Matsukawa’s silence weighed heavily on her, each day feeling like a battle to stay afloat.

One afternoon, as she walked home from school, she overheard a conversation that made her blood run cold. A group of Matsukawa’s friends were laughing loudly, their voices cutting through the air.

“Did you hear about Matsukawa’s family? They’re falling apart, and it’s all his fault,” one of them joked, and the others burst into laughter.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart ached at the words. How could they joke about something so serious? Anger surged within her, and she felt a fire ignite in her chest.

“Shut up!” she shouted, stepping forward. “You don’t know anything about him or his family!”

The laughter died abruptly, and the group turned to her, surprised. “Whoa, calm down, (YOUR NAME). It was just a joke,” one of them said defensively.

“It’s not funny!” she snapped, fists clenched. “You don’t know what he’s going through! You’re just making it worse!”

“Wow, someone’s defensive,” another replied, rolling his eyes. “What’s it to you anyway? You’re not even dating him.”

(YOUR NAME) felt the sting of their words, but she couldn’t back down. “I care about him! And if you can’t see how much he’s hurting, then you’re not his friend at all!”

With that, she turned and stormed away, her heart racing. Anger coursed through her veins, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness. How could she reach Matsukawa when his friends were so toxic?

As she reached her street, she spotted Matsukawa walking toward her, a tense expression on his face. Her heart skipped a beat, but the anger from earlier fueled her resolve.

“Matsukawa!” she called out, hurrying to catch up with him.

He stopped, his eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong?”

“I just overheard your friends making jokes about you and your family,” she said, her voice trembling. “It’s not okay. They don’t understand what you’re going through!”

His expression shifted, anger flashing in his eyes. “What did you say to them?”

“I told them to shut up,” she replied defiantly. “Someone had to! They were making light of a situation that’s tearing you apart!”

“Great, now you’re just making things worse!” he snapped, frustration evident. “You don’t need to defend me!”

“Why not?” she retorted, her emotions flaring. “If I don’t stand up for you, who will? You can’t just let them talk about you like that!”

“It’s none of your business!” he shouted, the tension between them sparking like a fire. “You don’t know anything about what I’m going through!”

“Then tell me!” she cried, her heart pounding. “Stop pushing me away! I’m here to help, but you have to let me in!”

The moment hung in the air, thick with unspoken feelings. But Matsukawa just turned away, leaving her feeling lost and alone once again.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  O N E

Into the abyss

That night, (YOUR NAME) tossed and turned, her mind racing with thoughts of Matsukawa and their endless fighting. The pain of seeing him withdraw, coupled with her frustration, had built a wall between them, and she couldn’t figure out how to break it down.

As she sat up in bed, staring at the ceiling, her phone buzzed, cutting through the silence. It was a message from Matsukawa.

Matsukawa: Can we talk?

Her heart leaped at the message. She quickly replied, her fingers shaking with anticipation.

(YOUR NAME): Yes, where?

Matsukawa: My place. Tonight.

(YOUR NAME)’s stomach twisted with anxiety as she got ready, her mind racing with possibilities. What would they say? Could they finally break through the barrier between them?

When she arrived at Matsukawa’s house, her heart pounded in her chest. He opened the door, looking worn and tired, but there was a flicker of hope in his eyes.

“Thanks for coming,” he said softly, stepping aside to let her in.

The moment she crossed the threshold, a wave of emotion washed over her. She felt the weight of everything they’d been through, and the uncertainty of what was to come settled heavily in the air.

“Let’s talk,” she said, her voice steady despite her racing heart. They settled on the couch, the tension between them thickening once again.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve just been so overwhelmed with everything.”

“I know,” she replied, reaching for his hand. “But you can’t keep shutting me out. I’m here for you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he confessed, looking down at their intertwined fingers. “It’s just… I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” she asked, her heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice.

“Scared of dragging you into my mess,” he admitted, his voice trembling. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart broke at his words. “You’re not a mess, Matsukawa. You’re human. We all have our struggles. I just want to be there for you.”

He looked at her, eyes filled with turmoil. “What if I can’t handle it? What if I push you away again?”

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” she replied, squeezing his hand tightly. “I love you, Matsukawa. I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes searched hers, and for a moment, the tension seemed to dissipate. But just as she thought they were making progress, his phone buzzed on the table.

He glanced at the screen, and his expression changed. “It’s my dad.”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart drop. “Do you want to take it?”

“Yeah, I should,” he said, standing up. She watched him walk away, her heart heavy as she felt the walls between them rising once more.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  T W O

Beyond the point

Matsukawa’s call with his dad stretched on, and (YOUR NAME) felt the familiar ache of helplessness wash over her. As he spoke in hushed tones, frustration bubbled beneath her skin. She wanted to be the one he turned to, the one who could help him navigate his struggles. But every time he withdrew, it felt like another crack in their already fragile connection.

As Matsukawa ended the call, he turned to face her, his expression a mix of anger and frustration. “I can’t do this right now, (YOUR NAME). He just keeps piling on more pressure!”

“Pressure from what?” she asked, her voice steady, though her heart raced. “You don’t have to take this all on yourself. You can talk to me!”

“You wouldn’t understand!” he snapped, his voice echoing through the room. “You don’t know what it’s like to have a family that expects you to be perfect. I can’t disappoint them!”

“Stop treating me like I’m some outsider!” she yelled, the frustration spilling out. “You think I can’t handle your problems? You don’t give me enough credit! I care about you, and that means I want to help, even if it’s messy!”

“You think I want to be this way?” he shot back, pain flashing across his face. “I hate feeling like I’m dragging you down. I can’t let you see me like this!”

“Why not?” she cried, her heart racing. “Why can’t you just let me in? You’re pushing me away, and I don’t know how much more I can take!”

“I’m trying to protect you!” he said, voice rising. “If you really cared, you’d understand that some things are better kept hidden!”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart shatter. “You’re not protecting me, you’re isolating yourself. I want to be here for you, but you keep building walls! How are we supposed to move forward if you won’t let me in?”

Matsukawa clenched his fists, frustration boiling over. “I don’t need your pity!”

“It’s not pity!” she shouted, tears brimming in her eyes. “I love you, Matsukawa! I want to fight this with you, not against you! But you’re making it impossible!”

He hesitated, his anger flickering like a flame struggling against the wind. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then stop pushing me away!” she pleaded, her voice breaking. “Please, just let me in. Let me help you.”

For a moment, the silence hung heavy between them, the tension palpable. Matsukawa’s expression softened slightly, but the pain in his eyes remained. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“Then let’s figure it out together,” she whispered, taking a step closer, her heart aching for him. “You don’t have to face this alone.”

But as she reached for him, he turned away, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t do this right now, (YOUR NAME). I need space.”

Her heart sank as his words hit her like a physical blow. “You’re really going to do this again?” she asked, the hurt evident in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just need time to sort things out.”

With that, Matsukawa stepped back, creating an unbridgeable distance between them. (YOUR NAME) felt a mixture of rage and heartbreak as she stood there, helpless and alone, watching the boy she loved turn his back on her once more.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  T H R E E

Collision course

The next few days were excruciating. (YOUR NAME) tried to focus on her schoolwork and spend time with friends, but the emptiness left by Matsukawa’s withdrawal gnawed at her insides. Every time she saw him at school, her heart raced with a blend of hope and dread, wondering if he would finally break the silence between them.

One afternoon, while walking with her friends, she spotted Matsukawa across the courtyard, laughing with his teammates. The sight twisted her stomach. How could he move on so easily when they were teetering on the edge of a precipice?

“Are you okay?” one of her friends asked, noticing her distraction.

“Yeah, just…thinking,” (YOUR NAME) replied, forcing a smile. But inside, the turmoil was eating her alive. She had to confront him.

Later that day, she found Matsukawa alone at the edge of the school grounds, staring off into the distance. Her heart raced as she approached, determination flooding her veins.

“Matsukawa,” she called, her voice steady despite her nerves.

He turned, and for a brief moment, their eyes locked. But the moment of connection vanished as he averted his gaze. “What do you want?”

“Can we talk?” she asked, taking a step closer.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he replied, his voice tight.

“It’s the only idea,” she countered, her frustration boiling over. “I can’t just keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s clearly not!”

“What do you want from me, (YOUR NAME)?” he shot back, his voice rising again. “I told you I need space!”

“I want you to stop running!” she yelled, anger coursing through her. “Stop pretending like you can handle this alone! I’m right here, and you’re pushing me away!”

Matsukawa’s expression twisted with pain. “You don’t understand! I’m dealing with things that you can’t even imagine!”

“Then let me in! Help me understand!” she pleaded, desperation creeping into her voice. “I can’t keep watching you suffer like this!”

“I’m not suffering!” he barked, fists clenched at his sides. “I’m trying to protect you!”

“From what? From being by your side? From loving you?” she yelled, tears spilling down her cheeks. “You’re not protecting me; you’re torturing me!”

He flinched at her words, the tension thickening as silence fell between them. The weight of their unspoken emotions hung in the air, crackling with unresolved feelings.

“Maybe you should just walk away,” Matsukawa finally said, his voice quiet but firm.

“Walk away?” she echoed, hurt flooding her chest. “You want me to walk away when I care about you more than anything? When you’re clearly struggling?”

“I can’t keep dragging you into my mess,” he insisted, his voice breaking. “It’s not fair to you!”

“Then let me decide what’s fair!” she cried, frustration pouring from her. “You’re not the only one who gets to make choices here! I choose to be here, to fight for you, even when it’s hard!”

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, voice trembling.

“Because I love you!” she shouted, her heart pounding. “And I won’t let you push me away without a fight!”

The silence between them was deafening, filled with the weight of her confession. Matsukawa’s eyes widened, shock etched across his face.

“I can’t… I can’t do this,” he stammered, the battle raging within him. “I’m not worth it!”

“Stop saying that!” she cried, stepping forward. “You are worth it, and I won’t let you convince yourself otherwise!”

He shook his head, anguish twisting his features. “You deserve someone better than me!”

“No!” she yelled, determination surging through her. “I deserve you, Matsukawa. I don’t care about your family drama or the pressure you feel. I care about you! You can’t see how amazing you are because you’re too caught up in your own head!”

Matsukawa looked torn, the walls he’d built around himself beginning to crack. But just as it seemed he might let her in, the moment shattered as a group of his friends approached, their laughter echoing through the air.

“Hey, Matsukawa!” one of them called, oblivious to the tension. “We’re heading to the courts. You coming?”

(YOUR NAME) felt her heart drop as Matsukawa’s demeanor shifted, a mask of indifference slipping over his features. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” he replied, his voice lacking the warmth it once held.

“See you later, (YOUR NAME),” one of the boys said casually, turning away.

“Wait,” Matsukawa said, glancing back at her, but the distance had widened again. “I…we’ll talk later.”

With that, he turned away, joining his friends, leaving (YOUR NAME) standing alone, shattered and aching as the laughter faded into the distance.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y   F O U R

Fractured bonds

The following days were a blur of silence and heartache. (YOUR NAME) felt lost, each moment without Matsukawa feeling like a wound that wouldn’t heal. She tried to stay busy, but every corner of her life reminded her of him. Classes dragged on, and even her friends’ attempts to distract her fell flat.

Then, one afternoon, as she sat alone in the cafeteria, her gaze drifting across the room, she spotted Matsukawa at a table surrounded by his friends, laughter echoing from their corner.

It twisted something inside her to see him smiling, but she couldn’t help but feel the ache of abandonment. How could he act like everything was fine when it was clearly falling apart?

Just then, one of his friends leaned over and said something that made Matsukawa laugh loudly. But the laughter was different; it felt forced, a mask he wore to hide the pain.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart ached as she watched him, the longing and frustration crashing over her like waves. She couldn’t stay silent any longer.

“Hey,” she called out, her voice steady as she approached their table. Matsukawa looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes, but his friends continued to chatter.

“Can we talk?” she said, her gaze fixed firmly on Matsukawa, determined to cut through the laughter and pretend camaraderie.

He hesitated, glancing at his friends before meeting her eyes. “Um, can it wait? We’re just—”

“No, it can’t,” she interrupted, her voice rising slightly in frustration. “This is important.”

His friends exchanged confused glances, and one of them smirked. “Looks like you’ve got company, Matsukawa. Go ahead, we’ll wait.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart raced, and she could feel the eyes of his friends on her, weighing her words. “I’m serious, Matsukawa. This can’t wait,” she insisted, her tone leaving no room for argument.

He sighed, the tension in his shoulders evident as he pushed back from the table. “Alright, let’s go,” he said, his voice resigned.

As they stepped away, (YOUR NAME) felt a sense of urgency, knowing this conversation was long overdue. “What’s going on with you?” she asked, keeping her voice low as they moved to a quieter corner of the cafeteria.

Matsukawa rubbed the back of his neck, looking conflicted. “I told you, I just need space.”

“Space? Or are you trying to run away?” she pressed, her heart pounding. “You’re acting like everything is fine when it’s clearly not. You can’t keep pretending like this.”

“I’m not pretending,” he shot back, frustration creeping into his voice. “I’m just trying to handle things my own way!”

“But you’re shutting me out!” she exclaimed, her hands trembling with emotion. “You’re not handling anything! You’re burying yourself in your friends while I’m here, feeling like I’m losing you!”

He flinched at her words, guilt flashing across his features. “I didn’t mean to… I just thought if I kept busy, I wouldn’t think about everything.”

“Running away doesn’t make it go away,” she replied, her voice softening. “You need to confront it. We need to confront it. Together.”

“Together?” he echoed, disbelief creeping into his tone. “You really think it’s that easy? You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. My family expects me to be perfect, and I can’t let them down!”

(YOUR NAME) stepped closer, her heart aching for him. “I don’t expect you to be perfect, Matsukawa. I just want you to be real with me. To let me help you. I care about you, and I hate seeing you struggle alone.”

He looked away, the conflict within him evident. “You don’t get it. I can’t drag you down with me. I don’t want to see you hurt because of my problems.”

“I’m already hurt!” she countered, tears brimming in her eyes. “Every time you push me away, it tears me apart. You’re not protecting me; you’re just making me feel more helpless.”

He ran a hand through his hair, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “I don’t want to hurt you. You mean too much to me!”

“Then stop hurting me by shutting me out!” she cried, her voice rising again. “We can fight this together. I promise I won’t judge you. Just let me in!”

For a moment, his expression softened, and she could see the internal struggle etched across his face. But then, he hardened again, pulling away as if her words had struck a nerve. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” she asked, desperation spilling into her voice. “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m afraid of failing,” he admitted, voice trembling. “I’m afraid of letting you down, of dragging you into my mess and ruining everything.”

“By not letting me in, you’re already ruining everything!” she yelled, feeling the weight of their unresolved issues crashing down on her. “I’m not asking for perfection; I’m asking for you to be honest with me.”

Matsukawa looked torn, and for a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of hope. But just as quickly, it disappeared. “I can’t do this right now,” he said, backing away from her.

“Don’t walk away from me!” she pleaded, reaching for his arm. But he flinched, stepping back out of her grasp.

“I need time,” he repeated, his voice firm but filled with pain. “I just… I need to figure things out on my own.”

Her heart shattered as he turned away, leaving her standing alone, feeling like a piece of herself was being ripped away. “Matsukawa!” she called, desperation clawing at her throat, but he didn’t turn back.

As she watched him walk away, the laughter of his friends faded into the background, leaving her feeling hollow and lost. She had fought with everything she had to reach him, but it hadn’t been enough.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  S I X

In the shadow of doubt

Days turned into weeks, and the distance between (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa only grew wider. Despite her attempts to reach out, he remained elusive, retreating into his own world while she fought against the overwhelming tide of loneliness.

The pain of their fractured bond gnawed at her, leaving her feeling like an outsider looking in. She filled her days with distractions—study sessions, hanging out with friends—but no amount of laughter could chase away the shadow that Matsukawa’s absence cast over her life.

One afternoon, (YOUR NAME) found herself walking through the park, lost in thought. As she passed a small café, she spotted Matsukawa seated at a table with his friends, laughter spilling from their group like sunlight breaking through clouds.

Her heart clenched at the sight, a mix of anger and longing surging within her. How could he laugh so easily when they were in turmoil? But as she watched, something shifted in her stomach. A girl leaned in close to Matsukawa, her hand playfully brushing against his arm, and he laughed—genuine laughter that stung like a knife to (YOUR NAME)’s heart.

Feeling a wave of jealousy crash over her, she turned away, fighting back tears. It wasn’t fair. She wanted to scream at him, to demand why he was moving on without her, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she continued her walk, the ache in her chest growing heavier with every step.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the park, (YOUR NAME) found herself sitting on a bench, overwhelmed by her emotions. Why was he doing this? Why couldn’t he see how much she cared? It felt like their connection was slipping through her fingers, and she was powerless to stop it.

Just then, her phone buzzed, interrupting her spiral of thoughts. It was a message from her friend, inviting her to a gathering later that night. Normally, she would have jumped at the chance to hang out, but tonight, she felt too fragile.

(YOUR NAME): I’m not feeling great. Maybe next time?

Friend: Come on, it’ll be fun! You need to get out and have some fun. Matsukawa isn’t worth this sadness.

The words stung more than they should have. But deep down, she knew her friend was right. Matsukawa had distanced himself, and she couldn’t keep waiting around for him to come back.

Taking a deep breath, she decided to join her friends. They met at a local café, where laughter and chatter filled the air. For a moment, she allowed herself to get swept up in the light-hearted atmosphere, enjoying the company and the delicious treats.

But as the night wore on, her mind kept drifting back to Matsukawa. The way he laughed with that girl. The look in his eyes when he glanced her way. Doubts gnawed at her: had she lost him for good? Would he move on and forget about her?

Just as she was lost in her thoughts, her phone buzzed again. This time, it was a notification from social media. One of Matsukawa’s friends had posted a picture of their group, and there he was—smiling, surrounded by laughter and light. The girl was right next to him, their faces close together.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart dropped, the pang of jealousy mixing with despair. She quickly closed the app, the world around her blurring as she fought to hold back tears. She couldn’t keep doing this. She had to confront him.

C H A P T E R   T  H I R T Y  S E V E N

Confrontation

The next day, (YOUR NAME) decided to confront Matsukawa once and for all. She had spent enough time spiraling in doubt and insecurity. If he wouldn’t reach out, then she would.

After school, she made her way to his house, her heart pounding in her chest. She knocked on the door, her stomach twisting with anxiety. A moment later, Matsukawa opened the door, surprise flickering across his face.

“(YOUR NAME)?” he asked, his voice uncertain. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you,” she said, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “Can we go somewhere private?”

He hesitated, glancing back inside his house. “Um, yeah, okay,” he replied, stepping aside to let her in. They walked to the backyard, where the setting sun cast a warm glow over the grass.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his tone guarded.

“I need to know why you’ve been shutting me out,” she said, her heart racing. “Why you’ve been avoiding me and pretending everything is fine when it’s clearly not.”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking conflicted. “It’s complicated, (YOUR NAME).”

“Complicated or not, I deserve an explanation,” her voice was firm, but her hands trembled at her sides. She had never felt so vulnerable.

Matsukawa sighed, his eyes flickering with guilt. “It’s not like I’ve been trying to avoid you on purpose. I just… I don’t know how to deal with all this. My family, school, you… it’s overwhelming. I didn’t want to drag you into it.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me,” (YOUR NAME) said, her voice breaking. “You don’t get to push me away just because things are hard. I want to be there for you, but you keep shutting me out.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said, his expression pained.

“But you did hurt me,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. “Every time you disappeared, every time you laughed with your friends and left me wondering where we stood… it broke me.”

Matsukawa looked down, the weight of her words sinking in. “I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“You don’t see what you’re doing because you’re so focused on protecting yourself,” (YOUR NAME) said, stepping closer, her voice filled with both anger and sadness. “But it’s not just about you, Matsukawa. We’re in this together—or at least, I thought we were.”

He swallowed hard, his eyes meeting hers for the first time with real sincerity. “I never meant for it to get like this. I thought if I could keep everything separate, you wouldn’t have to deal with my mess.”

“But that’s not how relationships work,” she said, her voice soft but resolute. “I want to deal with your mess. I want to share the burden. That’s what being together means.”

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The air between them was thick with unspoken emotions, the weight of their shared pain pressing down on both of them. Finally, Matsukawa took a deep breath.

“I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m scared that I’ll let you down, that I’ll fail you like I’ve failed my family. I didn’t know how to tell you that.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart softened at his words. “You don’t have to be perfect, Matsukawa. I don’t care about your family’s expectations. I care about you. And I’m willing to fight for this if you are.”

He looked at her, the walls he had built around himself finally starting to crumble. “I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. “I didn’t realize how much I was pushing you away until now.”

“Then stop,” she said, stepping even closer, her hand reaching for his. “Let me in. Let’s figure this out together.”

Matsukawa hesitated, his eyes searching hers for reassurance. Then, slowly, he reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… didn’t know how to ask for help.”

“You don’t have to do this alone anymore,” she whispered back, squeezing his hand. “We can face it all together. Just promise me you’ll stop running.”

He nodded, tears glistening in his eyes. “I promise.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, (YOUR NAME) felt a sense of peace wash over her. The storm that had raged between them had finally calmed, leaving behind the hope of healing.

As they stood there, hand in hand, under the fading light of the sunset, (YOUR NAME) knew they still had a long way to go. But for the first time, she felt that they were on the same path—together.

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  S E V E N

Fragile reconciliation 

The days following their confrontation were tentative, as though they were both walking on eggshells, careful not to fracture the fragile reconciliation they had just begun to rebuild. They talked more—about school, about their families—but the heart of their problems, the emotional distance that had plagued them for months, still loomed large between them.

Matsukawa was trying, though. (YOUR NAME) could see it in the small ways he reached out—sitting closer to her at lunch, sending her late-night messages to check in, even showing up unexpectedly outside her house just to walk her to school. He was present in ways he hadn’t been before, and yet, there was still something that kept them apart.

One evening, as they sat in (YOUR NAME)’s room, books sprawled across her desk for a pretend study session, she couldn’t take it any longer. The silence, once comfortable, now felt heavy with unspoken words. She closed her textbook with a loud snap.

“We’re not really okay, are we?” she blurted out.

Matsukawa looked up, startled. “What do you mean? I thought things were better between us.”

“They are,” (YOUR NAME) admitted, “but there’s still this… distance. I don’t know if we’re just avoiding it or if it’s something else.”

Matsukawa sighed, running a hand through his hair, a gesture she had come to recognize as his way of stalling for time. “I’m trying, (YOUR NAME). I really am. But I guess part of me is still scared.”

“Of what?”

He looked at her, his eyes shadowed with doubt. “Of screwing this up again. Of losing you.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest. She stood, walking over to where he sat on her bed. “You won’t lose me, Matsukawa. But you have to stop holding back. I need you to trust me, to trust us.”

His gaze dropped to the floor, and for a moment, she feared he would retreat again. But then, slowly, he looked up, eyes filled with a kind of determination she hadn’t seen before. “You’re right,” he said, voice low but steady. “I’m done running.”

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  E I G H T

The unraveled

The weeks that followed saw Matsukawa and (YOUR NAME) slowly piecing themselves back together. They spent more time together, but the road was far from smooth. There were still fights, still moments of doubt, but they faced them head-on rather than letting them fester like they had before.

One particularly bad argument erupted over something trivial—a forgotten date night. (YOUR NAME) had waited at the restaurant for over an hour before realizing that Matsukawa had been caught up with his family’s endless demands. It was a misunderstanding, but it triggered old wounds.

“You promised you wouldn’t shut me out again!” (YOUR NAME) shouted, her voice trembling with hurt as they stood outside her house later that night.

“I didn’t mean to, (YOUR NAME)! You know how my family is,” Matsukawa countered, frustration clear in his voice. “I couldn’t just walk out on them.”

“You could’ve called!” she snapped. “You could’ve let me know! I was waiting there like an idiot, wondering if you’d forgotten about me again.”

“I didn’t forget! I was trying to make everyone happy, and I—”

“That’s the problem!” (YOUR NAME) interrupted, her voice rising. “You’re still trying to do everything on your own! You promised you’d let me in, but you’re still keeping me at arm’s length.”

For a moment, Matsukawa stood there, his face etched with frustration and guilt. Then, without warning, he crossed the space between them, grabbing her hand and pulling her close. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice raw. “I messed up. Again. But I don’t want to lose you over this.”

(YOUR NAME)’s anger faltered at the sincerity in his voice, but the hurt still lingered. “I don’t want to lose you either, Matsukawa. But you have to stop pushing me away when things get hard. We’re supposed to be a team.”

“I know,” he murmured, his forehead resting against hers. “I’ll do better. I swear.”

C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y  N I N E

The breaking point

As much as they tried to move past it, the argument left a lingering tension between them, one that neither of them could quite shake. Matsukawa was true to his word—he made more of an effort, called more often, and included her in more of his life—but something still felt… off.

It came to a head one night when (YOUR NAME) found herself scrolling through old photos, memories of when they had been inseparable, when the world hadn’t yet forced its cracks into their relationship. Her phone buzzed—it was a message from Matsukawa, asking if she wanted to meet him at the park.

She agreed, her stomach fluttering with nerves. When she arrived, she found him sitting on a bench, his expression unusually serious. The moment she sat down, she knew this wasn’t just a casual meet-up.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his voice hesitant.

(YOUR NAME)’s heart skipped a beat. “About what?”

“About us,” he said, meeting her gaze with a mixture of fear and resolve. “I’ve been holding back because I’m scared. Scared of letting you down, scared of not being enough. But I’ve realized something—if I don’t stop hiding, I’ll lose you anyway.”

(YOUR NAME)’s breath caught in her throat. “Matsukawa…”

“I love you,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ve loved you for a long time, but I was too scared to admit it. I thought if I kept things casual, if I didn’t let myself feel too much, I could protect us both. But I was wrong.”

Tears welled up in (YOUR NAME)’s eyes. She had waited so long to hear those words, but hearing them now—so raw and vulnerable—shook her to her core.

“I love you too,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I’ve always loved you.”

Before she could say another word, Matsukawa closed the distance between them, his lips crashing against hers in a desperate, fiery kiss. It was as if all the pent-up emotion, all the fear and doubt that had kept them apart, had finally found release. His hands cupped her face, pulling her closer, and she responded in kind, her fingers tangling in his hair as she poured every ounce of her love, her frustration, her relief into the kiss.

They kissed with an urgency that left them breathless, their bodies pressed close as if they couldn’t bear to be apart any longer. When they finally pulled away, their foreheads rested against each other, their breathing heavy, the world around them spinning in the aftermath of what had just happened.

“I’m done running,” Matsukawa whispered, his voice low and rough with emotion. “I’m all in, (YOUR NAME). I’m not holding back anymore.”

“Good,” she whispered back, her heart soaring. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

C H A P T E R   F O U R T Y

The promise

The weeks that followed were a whirlwind of emotions, but this time, it wasn’t marked by fear or doubt. (YOUR NAME) and Matsukawa were finally on the same page, finally fighting for their relationship together instead of against each other.

There were still challenges—Matsukawa’s family continued to pressure him, and (YOUR NAME) still had her moments of insecurity—but now, they faced it all hand in hand, with a newfound strength that came from finally being honest with themselves and with each other.

One afternoon, as they sat beneath the cherry blossom trees in the park, Matsukawa turned to her, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” he said, his tone light but serious. “About our future.”

(YOUR NAME)’s heart skipped a beat. “Oh?”

He nodded, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I do know one thing—I want you with me. Wherever life takes us, I want you by my side.”

Tears welled up in (YOUR NAME)’s eyes, but this time, they were tears of happiness. “I want that too,” she whispered.

Matsukawa leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, and when they pulled apart, he smiled down at her, his eyes filled with a warmth that made her heart flutter.

“No more running,” he said softly.

“No more running,” she echoed, her hand finding his and squeezing it gently.

As they sat there, watching the petals fall around them, (YOUR NAME) felt a deep sense of peace settle over her. They had been through so much—fights, misunderstandings, moments of doubt—but they had made it. Together.

And for the first time in a long time, she knew they were going to be okay.

The future, once uncertain and filled with fear, now stretched before them like a promise—one they were ready to face, side by side.

The End.

[myprincejinnie]

fic recs for my anime hotties!!

-separated by anime & character and then genre-

if it has more than one genre like mafia and soulmate au then i will put it in the section that i think it leans more towards, but most will have summaries and warnings as well so it will be easy to figure out (hopefully lol). the genre is more au based and not like friends to lovers and stuff bc most aus have those genres as well and it is hard to separate. if it doesn't have an au it is prob in others. this list looks kind of scuffed bare w it pls. i really just made this to keep track of my fav fics so i can reread them. + some of them i haven't read in a while. and others i didn't add bc they are either on hold or it is pretty obvious that they are never going to be finished )); i really like hybrid, a/b/o, and soulmate aus so lots of those !! i go to tumblr after finishing my manhwas and when i get tired of trying to find fics on ao3, so i prob have more on the ao3 list. in regards to this anime tumblr fic rec list, i have a lot more on the ao3 list but it is going to take forever to put together . . . i am scared.

find other group and fandom lists here.

>>the mentioned ao3 list<< this one is going to take a while lol . . .

📕 - one shot/head cannon/short

📚 - series

🔃 - ongoing

✅️ - completed

🔞 - smut + not going to put all warnings for the type of smut going on in each so make sure to read warnings on the og post jic

Kiyoomi Sakusa (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

Soulmate!Sakusa x Reader by watevermelon📕

Summary: request --

>> Warnings & Tags: none. Notes: I love this author so lots from them!!

Golden Swirls by hawks-supremacy📕

Summary: when Sakusa's sister told him how people found their soulmates, he was disgusted. or at least until he found his. >> Warnings & Tags: no warnings, fluff and angst

___childhood friends___

Envy by watevermelon📕🔞

Summary: Childhood friends with Sakusa Kiyoomi, you were sure that your unrequited desires would simply stay that way. From play-dates in his backyard to being the manager of the Itachiyama volleyball team, you were content with watching your friend pursue his dream. >> Warnings & Tags: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 394, Explicit one-shot; smut, Porn with Plot; Unreliable Narrator; Jealousy but actual mutual pining; lots of Humor; semi-public sex; dominant Sakusa; near face-fucking; finger fucking; eating out

___fluff___

Quiet Sort of Love by watevermelon📕

Summary: As manager of the Fukurōdani volleyball club, there was no doubt that Itachiyama’s Sakusa Kiyoomi was a strong ace. He brought your team to their knees on multiple occasions, but what you were not expecting was getting to know the nationally acclaimed spiker beyond just the titles and labels. >> Warnings & Tags: Implicating language and slight spoilers toward the end (you will be warned beforehand :)), lots of fluff, angst, slight BokuAka, character development, mutual pining at one point, Buckle up boys cause this is a LONG one LMAO

Tetsurō Kuroo (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

He's my soulmate by honeypirate📕

Summary: You can communicate telepathically with your soulmate, sending thoughts and feelings to them. it’s a skill that develops through time after you hit 17.  it takes a few months for the connection to grow so for the first little while not a lot comes through. So far you have similar songs getting stuck in your head and thoughts will come through quietly. You tried once to send specific messages but you never had any responses to them so you tried to just go about your day, excited with any thought or songs that come through. >> Warnings & Tags: Kuroo x f!Reader soulmate AU, soulmates

Soulmate Singer by sundrop-tetsu📕

Summary: your voice was truly something. he loved hearing it. and he often heard you singing. but honestly, he thought it was a mere hobby of yours. finding out his soulmate is american was a bummer because of the distance. but hey, you have a concert in tokyo coming up. and thankfully, his friends are your biggest fans >> Warnings & Tags: kuroo tetsurou x gn!popsinger!reader, gender-neutral reader

HAWKS (MHA)

___soulmate au___

Falling for You by flannel-cladpika📕

Summary: This AU is from my list of BNHA Soulmate AU’s. This one took a lot longer than most of my stories do, but I like the way it turned out. Enjoy! Hawks x F!Reader soulmate au >> Warnings & Tags: none, female reader

TOJI (JJK)

welp . . . i will just call this

___smut___

Bunny Girl Toji by aizawa-horny-brigade📕🔞

Summary: Request -- Toji with a cute bunny girl. She’s sweet and allows him to do whatever he wants with her. Always wakes him up with a bj 🥺Who knows how a mean asshole like him got her to begin with. Certainly seems like the type to have “won” her from a shitty owner after gambling. >> Warnings & Tags: male receiving oral, Toji being a bully

milkmaid. by aizawa-horny-brigade📚✅️🔞

Summary: straight smut, y’all. Downright filth 😤 ✨enjoy✨ >> Warnings & Tags: literally smut, read warning for each part, part 1 -- Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!Reader (ft. Puppyboy!Yuji), part 2 --Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader, part 3 -- Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader

GOJO (JJK)

gojo. by demxnscous📕

Summary: gn + sorcerer!reader, mutual pining, reader and Gojo are good friends, he gets a little possessive(?) in this, extended metaphors yay >> Warnings & Tags: none.

LAST UPDATED/ADDED ON: 12.21.2023

[thegeminisage]

as someone who wasn't around in 2014....can you tell me what it was like? (stucky) can you give me a taste of the gardens of babylon etc

what was it like...this is such a fun question i want you to know i gave serious thought to my answer and also discussed it at length with my 2014 friend last night and i know already it's gonna be so long. sorry that i answered your ask at fuck o clock in the morning i am scheduling it to go up later and also at the time you sent the ask in to make sure you see it

ok so like. i mean, you're on the fandom website, right, so i assume youve been in fandoms. idk if youve ever been in a really, REALLY big fandom, at the same time that said fandom was also producing content (even if the source material was not). think d*stiel post nov 5, or undert*le circa late 2015/early 2016, or z*lda after totk came out, or h*rry p*tter as the seventh book was being released. (i'm censoring to avoid a false positive of anybody's blacklist except in the case of the last one, which i am censoring out of <3 disrespect.) like there's something REALLY luxurious about being in ANY large and active fandom and it's mostly the power of crowdsourcing. st*r tr*k 2009's tarsus iv headcanons. the storm trooper lore re: the f*rce awakens before the second two movies came out. everyone just kind of agreeing that dean w*nchester was a teenage hooker. you know?

like, that's "just fanon," sure, but part of the beauty of it is that no one person makes up fanon, we all gather in the biggest writing group in the world and collectively go insane and bat ideas back and forth. there are a hundred THOUSAND fics about bucky barnes on ao3 and that's just the people who were writing, not even counting artists and gifmakers and meta-writers and people who just reblog stuff. i can't possibly begin to put an accurate number to how many people are in any given fandom at any given time, but imagine (on the low end, i'm sure) there are THOUSANDS, perhaps tens of thousands, of people going nuts about stevebucky at all times. tens of THOUSANDS people doing "yes and" with each other on the internet 24 hours a day seven days a week. it's just like being in any fandom, you log on to your dash and see what the mewchies posted while you were gone, but in a fandom so huge and so active you were getting bombarded with idea after idea after idea every single second, so if you don't like one you're spoiled for choice in what you engage with next. it didn't even matter that cap3 was two years away or that it sucked when it finally got here because we collectively wrote cap3 a million times over. like, genuinely, it was a mass creative exercise. it's the biggest writing group in the world. for better or worse, we were shaping our own version of that universe, without any input from or regard to the people who actually created the characters and movie, in a way that compelled most strongly to our own tastes and demographic.

what made this particular movie/fandom special though was a few things. firstly i still genuinely believe it was ahead of its time...marvel shit pre disney was allowed to be political in ways it is ABSOLUTELY not now. like, cap2 could say "the government is secretly full of nazis and they all need to burn" in 2014 two years before the 2016 election and 7 years before jan 6. like you just couldn't say that now. "war bad" is an oldie but goodie, but "our entire government is corrupt and needs to be torn into flaming pieces and cast into the potomac" is um. pretty radical. so is, by the way, "men as victims" and "men having emotions" etcetc. like, not in fandom, fandom all but invented that shit, but as far as dumb superhero movies go. i can't tell you the number of metas i read AND WROTE discussing steve rogers and masculinity and how all that was portrayed, intentionally or not, in that fucking film. i had entire separate universes built up in my head for steve who was born a cis girl and steve who decided later in life that "nonbinary" or "trans woman" was a better fit and then steve who was born as a cis boy and remained a man his whole life but felt weird and different ways about being queer which clashed with the weird and different ways BARNES felt about being queer. i'm not saying the film (or the fandom! good lord) was perfect, it was a product of its time, but it was also WAY ahead of its time too. it was weird to expect the next film to come out and actually, like, be good. it wasnt, but we fully believed it would be and that wasn't delusional behavior because the last one had been. i would never have that kind of faith in a marvel project now because they've been bought by disney.

oh yeah and that's the other thing too like. speaking of queer people. gay marriage wasn't legal in the US on a federal level until 2015, and you couldn't just flip on your TV and see them whenever you wanted. ten years doesn't seem like that long ago in the grand scheme of things but like, we lived on glee and cw/mtv queerbait (disclaimer that i personally only participated in cw queerbait) and that was it. we had crumbs. and like when people write gay characters theyre Just Gay, but if you decide to be crazy stupid in a slash fandom you can decide these layered characters are gay and that's even better rep than um whatever was going on in other pieces of media. these guys are both so lonely and out of step with time and lack other people with "shared life experiences" (girl what the hell was that) and their connection w each other keeps them afloat in a world that doesn't want them so like of COURSE it seems like it's supposed to be romantic. and like, i could and did make myself and my tumblr buds crrrazy (and got made crazy by them) thinking about:

how steve's size when small and again when big interacted w his gender identity and his sexuality and how that sexuality manifested. barnes's identity As A Man hinging on his ability to go to war for his country bc Thats What Men Did but now he's no longer fit because theres worms in his brain. loss of bodily autonomy which usually happens to women and natasha being later in that journey than steve and bucky are and so close to being at peace with it but not there yet. stigmatization of seeking treatment for mental health issues lessened by the presence of sam who could have been a Macho Tough Guy but actually gives off strong Talk About Our Feelings And Be Soft vibes. don't even get me started on the relationship (predatory) between steve and rumlow and how it parallels the one between barnes and pierce (and if any of you motherfuckers BREATHE a word of that h*dra tr*sh p*rty shit in my direction i will END you) and the stigma that comes from being preyed on when vulnerable As Men. steve's depression and ptsd and him getting triggered by, yes, the fucking ALS ice bucket challenge. the collective belief that he was conscious when he was frozen even though nobody said that so that he and barnes could have that in common too. the headcanon about barnes having roma heritage - shoutout to not easily conquered my beloved, and the 14k smut coda i wrote for it✌ speaking of smut, i would be remiss also not to mention there was a STRONG element of collective lust involved. i'm immune to 99% of it bc im ace but the winter soldier was uh. VERY graceful. you know? i didn't write 14k of porn because i was uncompelled. we were on one. we went fucking crazy. fandom in general but especially big fandoms have a kind of nonstop endless well of creative energy born from obsession that is the absolute envy of people like my mortal enemy grrm. we NEVER quit.

also, HISTORY (and other vaguely educational subjects). we were all so desperate to know how steve and bucky would have lived in the years we couldn't see them it sparked a sitewide interest in 1940s american history. there was a thing about bananas tasting different now because of a plague. m&ms being invented as wartime candy. stuff about how shoebox apartments looked and how rations worked. 1940s recipes and radio shows. the 1940s queer movement and how it interacted with ballroom dancing and private drag get-togethers. how amputations work and how prosthetic limbs work in real life so we could extrapolate it to fantasy. how to hand-draw that fucking arm in photoshop. why soldiers are trained to say their serial numbers when captured. what ww2 was like. what dog tags are for. what did they get in the ration packs. what brand of cigarettes did they smoke. what brand (and i am being so serious, i STILL own a tube) of LIPSTICK did peggy carter use. caloric intake of someone with a 4x speed metabolism and how much famine peanut butter he'd need to eat daily to keep from starving to death. oppression of irish immigrants and their children/grandchildren back in the 1940s. the difference between conservatives and fascists, back when there was a difference. what activities generally took place on these mysterious but ever-present new york city docks. just exactly HOW many terrible movies and tv shows has sebastian stan been in ranked by his resemblance to james buchanan barnes in each one. (i personally went through his entire imdb list at the time and then made a venn diagram.) electroswing! teachers and professors would have killed for their classes to have the kind of enthusiasm a bunch of mentally ill teenagers and 20-somethings on tunglr dot edu were showing about this one very specific set of subjects. this film also sparked my love of fight scenes. if you've read this fic or this fic and liked the Big Fight Scenes in them, you can thank cap2 for leading me down that path.

and then yes there was also discourse. my personal most hated thing was the above mentioned h*dra tr*sh p*rty (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT, i will just tell you it's nazi rape porn🤢 and i hope everyone involved is having a bad day today) and also the fact that SOME FUCKING PEOPLE can't understand "don't be shitheads about a fanfic where the author can see you doing it." but then ofc people were also sexist about nat and racist about sam and minimalizing those guys (and every other character besides tony really but sometimes him too) for the two white male leads was a whole thing. and on the funnier side of things you had (justifiably, i suppose) bitter st*ny fans who HATED what those two got in avengers and got real mad when stucky started outpacing them on ao3. and people complaining about the characters being too uwu soft. and then other people arguing whether or not barnes counted as disabled when he was missing a Whole arm. and THEN discourse about was it ethical to remove the arm and build him a new one ESPECIALLY without his consent (if people don't know they're being ableist in their fanfics hypothetically is it still ok to kill them with hammers?) and why was tony doing it if that guy killed his parents and is it ok that we keep making tony not that mad about his dead parents is it not enough that barnes stole his limelight as the guy who gets shipped with steve but what if all three of them fucked but can you really fuck the guy who offed your folks but ACTUALLY isn't it cringe to like tony anyway since RDJ and gwenyth paltrow are bad people and who says chris evans are sebastian stan are such good people etcetcetc. and let us not even get started on the plausibility of the avengers tower fanon after age of ultron came out and it turns out nobody became friends and they all still hated and mistrusted each other. and whether or not the avengers could be considered found family if the other characters were constantly getting shafted into being barnes's little support animals. and then ofc every once in awhile one of the actors of people involved creatively would say something ranging from mildly controversial to absolutely horrible on the internet and we'd all fight about THAT for awhile like a dog with a bone. i mean. typical infighting of any fandom tbh.

but i was very happy. it was all the most enormous thought experiment and creative endeavor (and semi-educational adventure??) that we all participated in daily for like two-ish years without stopping ever. i loved doing it. AND, when you click with a piece of media like that, you also click with other people who clicked with that same piece of media, so in addition to the sheer level of dopamine going into my brain at all times i also formed decade-long friendships that will certainly last the entirety of my lifetime, and when we're in our 90s in nursing homes i will be able to say, "we are friends because i wrote 14k of smut for your fanfic" or "we are friends because i couldn't get enough of your gifsets" or whatever because you know, we quite literally went to stucky together.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hii i have returned with my ramblings on SITH like i do every chapter lol :))

omg the mention of friedrich being “scary looking” reminded me of that time u said that only the mc genuinely finds him handsome & i still have not recovered from that /pos

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT THAT TIME FRIEDRICH BEAT HER UP DURING TRAINING, THE MEMORIESSS

i love how much falco looks up to the mc & how this chapter kinda showed her being a mentor to him, it was so sweet <3 falco being out of breath from JOGGING is so real, like he’s just like me fr we’re both terrible at running

I CALLED IT THAT FRIEDRICH WOULD INHERIT THE JAW, ALL THE SIGNS WERE POINTING TOWARDS HIM LMFAO

the irony of colt being the first of the trio to inherit his titan & also being the first who will die. idk if u plan on diverging from the canon plot & having him live or just sticking with canon plot, but the “i’ll be the first” line rlly hits hard either way, & it’ll hit especially hard if he still dies.

now that i think abt it, the trio rlly is just the found family trope & im gobbling that shit up bro, i love them with all my heart 🫶 i feel like they’re not only soulmates, but also the “our fates are intertwined in every universe” trope as well. so even if one of them dies & the other two have to live on w/o them or two of them die & the last has to preserve their memory, all 3 of them will meet again in another lifetime. they just can’t be separated (they come in a set LMFAO). that’s my take on their relationship at least.

i hope u like my theories & takes lol. when im super invested in smth, i always like talking abt it & going in-depth bc that’s just what i like to do. even if i get some shit wrong (when theorizing or analyzing), that’s ok, bc im just having fun & enjoying smth im interested in :))

hope ur doing well & taking care of urself!! remember to hydrate & get lots of rest. and dont overwork urself (even tho that’s prolly easier said than done). <3

— 🪐

HIII I love your ramblings I always smile when I get the notifications!!

LMAOOO I would like to slightly revise that and add that friedrich isn’t really considered ugly by anyone either he just always looks 0.5 inches away from snapping so people are too busy being scared of him to think he’s handsome. Ofc the mc knows him so well that she sees past that and can appreciate him for what he is <3

HAHAHA IT WAS SO LONG AGO THEY WERE SUCH LITTLE BABIES BACK THEN!! So much has happened since then 🙁

I wanted to somewhat show Y/N being a good person again since we’ve seen so many chapters of her struggling and overcoming her faults and traumas. She’s definitely not a perfect person but she can be very kind at times and she is canonically super good with kids so I thought showing her and falco bonding and her doing something for someone other than herself would balance out the heaviness of everything post-athyae. falco is so sweet I actually love him sooo much but I was lowkey dying writing him in this chapter because he’s just so hopeless 😭 I would like to add that in the running scene Y/N is the one jogging…my man falco is SPRINTING to keep up with her 😩 up to interpretation whether it’s because “slow” for Y/N is fast for like anyone else or because falco is just really not athletically blessed.

I feel like friedrich being the jaw titan is the most obvious choice. He’s way too slippery (does that even make sense?? Idk how else to describe it) to be the armored titan and way too independent to be the colossal, he could be the cart but tbh Y/N just exemplifies the cart to me I couldn’t see anyone else inheriting it, colt being the next beast has been a thing since like the first chapters of the fic, and he just…is not a girl so I can’t imagine him as the female titan.

I won’t spoil the trio’s fates, but writing that scene knowing their futures was definitely painful. I’m trying to write and update more often so you don’t have to wait years to find out what happens to them because there is SO much planned for the future of this story. I’ve been struggling because the past two mini arcs (which were titled return to liberio and warrior’s welcome if you were wondering) have been the hardest to write so far. They’re a lot more introspective and focused on Y/N’s mental development, conflict, and recovery, so it was a lot of just “people visiting houses” with inner monologues as opposed to plot and external conflict. The next mini arc is very different though so I’m excited to get to that!! One more chapter of warrior’s welcome and then I’m finally free 😭

I ADOREEEE FOUND FAMILY!! That’s why endure and SitH are my favs, I feel like they both have their own versions of the found family tropes that make me feel so 😫 but the trio and the endure crew are definitely super different. like the endure found family is just a bunch of siblings (case in point Y/N and Jean) but the trio defies categorization. They’re in love but they’re best friends but they’re somehow more than that?? Idk their dynamic isn’t something I’ve written before but it’s definitely one of the most interesting I think!! (I’d say it’s my favorite but my favorites are endure jean and y/n, endure eren and y/n, and promise y/n and tullia, with an honorary mention to endure y/n and tullia)

I LOVE YOUR THEORIES SO MUCH!! I won’t confirm or deny if they’re right because I don’t want to spoil but I love reading them and responding to them so much. It makes me sosososo happy that you’re so invested in this random story I decided to write on a whim one day and that you’re having as much fun with it as I am. Your asks motivate me sm because with a story like SitH it can sometimes feel like I’m only writing for myself (which is good because it gives me creative freedom but sometimes demotivating as there’s no engagement)

Thank you so much and remember to take care of yourself as well!!

[canongf-archive]

hey this is weird but i wanted to ask someone who seems good at advice - is it wrong that my bf isn't really in on my selfshipping? i don't see it as cheating, i love him v much and can separate silly fictional fun from reality, it's more just that he's a 'real' creator (worldbuilding, fic, original content) so i'm worried he'd look down on me for being so selfindulgent i guess? i'm not very subtle and have talked about an ocxcanon pairing before, he has some himself and seems decently cool w selfship (he sent me a funny post once w/ the term f/o in so i think he Knows on some level) but he doesn't know about my sideblog or anything and i dunno, i feel bad that i'm afraid to let him in on something so important to me but as w/ most of my obsessions i somehow feel less silly talking to total strangers than people who actually know me lmao, is this a problem? any thoughts would be appreciated </3

i think you and your boyfriend are the only people that can decide if this is a problem or not, anon! 💗

i completely understand why you're hesitant to share this part of your life with him... it's really vulnerable! and being that vulnerable with someone you know and care for is scary! you're opening yourself up to the feeling of judgement and rejection! i get that! i don't blame you! and ultimately! it is completely up to you whether you decide to share this part of yourself with him or not.

but honestly, he sounds really cool! and it sounds like you have a good relationship with him! and if you're considering telling him, i think you should. i think you should tell him exactly what you told me (or at least something similar), that you're nervous about opening up about this because you're scared it'll be perceived as too self indulgent or as something negative, but that it's a big part of your life and you want to share it with him. give him all the information and give him the opportunity to be good to you!

one of two things will happen! he won't think negatively of you or of this at all, even if he doesn't completely understand he'll be excited that you're sharing this part of yourself with him and he'll support you! or! he will think negatively, he will think it's self indulgent, he won't appreciate what it meant for you to open up and share this part of yourself with him... and it might be a sign that he's not the right person for you. because you deserve to be seen and understood and supported in every part of your life and in every aspect of who you are, including this one.

whatever you decide, anon, how much to tell him, how to tell him, when to tell him, if you even wanna tell him at all... that's all up to you. it's up to you to decide if it's a problem or not. you know how you feel and you know your boyfriend, and you just gotta listen to your heart and do what feels true to you! 💗

[zorilleerrant]

Hmm. I'm going to sort mine.

title is a literal description of the story (”5 times x did y”, “first kiss”, etc)

perfect formatting, title is evocative of the story’s main themes

song lyrics

3 feet long all lowercase (overlaps w/ song lyrics)

one word. only one.

title seemingly has nothing to do w/ the content of the story until it gets dropped during a high-tension dramatic scene 70k words in, making you feel like the world meant for you to be born in time to read it

really bad pun

“Song title (and the rest of the song title)”

A singular word that you don’t recognize, then the definition is the summary

Movie reference Non-musical media reference

Clever double-layer meaning

Help I’ve never titled anything in my life I don’t know what this is I just want it to be out of my hands and posted neither you nor I will ever be pleased with this

I currently have 115 fics on Ao3. Using the above criteria, I’ve determined by own naming predilections.

1: Fifteen. Named for what it says on the tin, because I couldn't think of anything else to do with it, or because naming it the obvious thing is just what makes sense.

(The Hogwarts Gender Union; A Cure For Ohan; Pineapple Pizza; Third Sister; Captain Marvel's Day at the Beach; Are You. You Know. Adopted?; 5 times Marcus hated superheroes and 1 time he didn't; A dog might have got blipped! NOT CLICKBAIT; Harry Potter in: The Batfam Goes To Therapy; Another Loki; Truth or Dare; Heir of Slytherin; Seventh Son; The Yule Ball; Conversations Between a Father and Son)

2: Twenty-two. This makes sense because this is what I think of as a 'normal' title and tend to aim for.

(Growth Like A Nurtured Vine; Providing for the Future; In Every Reading Room; Keep The Hearthfires Burning; The Platitude Against The Wall; A Place To Rest Your Head; To Honor A Debt; What We Learn In Chinese School; In The Mythic Tradition; Half Gay/Half Straight; Even A Broken Clock; On Loan from the Wayne Family Collection; This Changes Nothing; Just a Perfectly Normal Rabbit; Five Degrees West; Narcissus at the River's Edge; Educational Overnight; Everybody Makes Mistakes; Forever Home; Small Town Mentality; Best Hadron Collider; Father of the Year)

3: Seven. Way more than I thought, honestly. I use lyrics when I'm struggling to title because it's in the genre tradition.

(but my dreams they aren't as empty; They Call Me Her; I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon; it's a love story baby just say yes; Good Girls Stay Alive; You're gonna go far, kid; Love Will Tear Us Apart)

4: Zero. The longer a title gets the more antsy it makes me, so I tend to avoid long titles.

5: Seventeen. I used to use these a lot to get easy titles, but then I realized I had no idea what fic that was when it got a kudos, so now I only use a single word if it's unique enough that I can remember why I'd name something that.

(Faildeadly; Anabasis; Y-incision; Proprioception; Change!; Anathema; Terrible; Protest; Marathon; Frieda; Worry; Answers; Parabatai; Courage; Besties; Ferret; Babyproofing)

6: Zero. I've only got the one super long fic and it's got the more obvious song naming instead.

7: Ten. Bad puns... or really good puns? Hmm?

(Faire's Fare; Just Monkey Business; When Pigs Fly; Robin's Egg Blue; Ace Shot; The Magic Word; Gift of the Magpie; Attraction; Captain America's Gay Fling; Swearing a Red, White, and Blue Streak)

8: Zero. I just don't like the format.

9: Zero. It always feels condescending to me to assume people don't know a word, so I try not to define them.

10: Twenty-five. Referential titles are an easy go-to for me. I did notice several of them either took a quote directly from canon or used a titling/title card convention from canon, so I wonder if that should be a separate category, or two different ones. I'm also uncertain whether mythology/folklore references should be considered 'media references', or maybe grouped in with titles taken from aphorisms and sayings. Do enough people quote Shakespeare to give him his own category?

(One Face, One Voice, One Habit, and Two Persons; Tendi and T'Lyn at Their Table; Red Bean Buns of Destiny; Does Talia Have A Sister?; Who Gets To Decide Her Own Damn Fate; The Excellent Adventures of Keanu Rhesus; My Concealed Lady; Stabby the SecUnit; Rapidly Expanding Air; The Monkey or The Egg; Words, words, words; And the Mischief of Monkey; In the Museums of the Night; Auntie Yelena Saves Christmas; Dick Grayson, College Student; Meanwhile, At Gotham Grace; Animorty Cricksing: New Pants; Better Together; Don't Call Me Nymphadora; Brightest Witch of Her Age; Just Tonks; Not Always in the Same Way; No Flamz Prepz; A Fish Without A Bicycle; The Boy)

11: Eight. I'll be honest I assumed I'd have more of these because I do love multi-layered meanings. I try hard to achieve them but I'd say they're the most difficult sort of title.

(A Great Deal; Just a Moment of Peace; The Family You Build; Where There's Life There's Hope; Love Like A Sister's; Coffee or Tea?; Brain Freeze; Something that Starts with a P)

12: Eleven. Yeah. Sometimes I struggle with a title for so long I just give up and name it whatever pops into my head....

(Billy Batson in the Wrong Dimension; Incentive Structure; The Burden of the Sword; One Last Kryptonian; An Island Paradise; The Superhero Code; What Makes A Hero; Happy Year of the Tiger; The Smallest Details; Plot Armor; A Better Mousetrap)

types of fic titles

title is a literal description of the story (”5 times x did y”, “first kiss”, etc)

perfect formatting, title is evocative of the story’s main themes

song lyrics

3 feet long all lowercase (overlaps w/ song lyrics)

one word. only one.

title seemingly has nothing to do w/ the content of the story until it gets dropped during a high-tension dramatic scene 70k words in, making you feel like the world meant for you to be born in time to read it

[apeachty]

note : it's another post where i might sound like a little hater. but... yeah, that's how it was.

it's enemies to lovers cliché of ot5 x apeachty [ both one-sided 🥲 ]

← to the 1st day | ♡ you're here ♡ | to the 3rd day →

₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ . ⠀day 2 ✧ a song that made you a moa

okay, this one’s kinda difficult because i don’t really remember the moment i started considering myself a moa. i’ve been like, “eh, but am i a moa, tho?” for a REALLY long time, most likely because of how few songs i listened to back then, while being indifferent to all the others.

it was so weird, because by the time i thought, “nah, i’m not a moa” for the last time, i’d already watched like 60 episodes of to-do, bought a few albums, and was far too deep into the “txt x reader” tag on tumblr... i don’t even think i considered myself a moa when i got my lightstick, and that little piece of— plastic with diodes isn’t cheap!

bonking myself with moabong for that.

but yeah, i guess i just couldn’t call myself a fan of the group when i didn’t like the biggest part of their discography and only liked the members. okay, maybe a 'fan', but not a 'moa'.

then i kinda stopped thinking about it at all for like half a year, just enjoying the ever-growing playlist, buying all the albums, and collecting photocards. and when i was writing that soogyu little fic, i realized that i am a moa. i guess i just started talking to other moa, so i felt like part of the community?..

so, it’s not “a song” that made me a moa (it's the members and other moa ♡), so i’ll just name the songs that are the reason i accepted my fate started looking more into txt.

G O O D　B O Y　G O N E　B A D

again? well, yeah. eventually, i gave up and added it to my playlist in january to listen to just that one part—nothing else!! i stayed true to my words and was occasionally listening to it. well, maybe—just maybe—I sometimes listened to it fully... but only when i had no choice!

it’s not the song that played the biggest part in me getting interested in txt, but that’s where it started for me. i looked through my files, and it was added january 21–23, so basically a month and a half before i started listening to txt.

D E V I L　B Y　T H E　W I N D O W

it was added the same day?.. to be honest, it left me confused because i thought it was added last out of the three and somewhere in february after i heard it twice at a k-pop cover dance festival, but turns out it wasn’t like that.

then i guess i heard it a month prior in a café with a k-pop theme where they were playing k-pop music videos, and i watched the performance video there. i’m surprised i got interested in it after just one time, tho...

but it’s a funny story too, because my mom was listening to it and was like, “huh?.. is it fully english?”, and i was confused because it didn’t sound like it’s 100% english, but i googled it, and yeah. my mom doesn’t even speak english! she knows the basics, but that’s it. maybe that’s why it got stuck in my head...

and i also heard it / watched the choreo two times at the festival, and i guess that’s when i started listening to it, not only added it to the playlist.

but i didn’t like the last part and am still sometimes doubtful about it lol.

T I N N I T U S

as i said in the previous post, i liked that song immediately and completely, but it took me months to add it to the playlist. i added it in february, but i couldn’t find the exact day.

i probably started listening to txt a bit more (to... two songs, yep) after the festival, and remembered that there’s also 'tinnitus,' so i added it too and started listening to it properly.

B U T

that’s not it. it’s not about these three songs separately or when they were added. it’s about me waking up one cold march day going out to get my nails done, and deciding to just listen to 'tinnitus' on loop.

it was really cold, and i’m so scared of falling on the ice, so i’m usually grumpy when i’m outside in winter (march is winter here. sometimes even the first week of april is barely considered spring, tbh), but that song just made my day x1000 better.

and i kinda decided to listen to the other two “for good parts”, but it was too cold to take my mittens off and i couldn’t skip other parts of 'good boy gone bad', so i had to listen to it fully...

so yep, i consider that day, mar 8, 2024 the day i officially became a moa thanks to these three songs (my favourite babies).

note : i can't believe i wrote that much again— i definitely don't know what self control is...

[sleepy-spacetronaut]

🌌🌟✨Blog’s info drawer✨🌟🌌

✨Welcome to the space nook’s catalogue! Feel free to look around!

About me:

Username: Sleepy Spacetronaut , or Alciefer (Al, Alcie) on some other platforms.

Young adult.

Pronouns: anything except it/its, really. In case of doubt, please use They/them for me, thank you!

I make art, tiny comics, write stories and seldom poetry.

Main fandoms (more or less part of) : Gravity Falls, Les Misérables, Mob Psycho 100, That’s Not My Neighbor (Video Game)

Here I mainly post fandom content and artworks, but I can branch out to reblog humanitarian campaigns and those which appear in my asks. I will create a separate post for all of the campaigns I got sent so far.

Author’s note: (08/11/2024) Please refrain from sending consecutive messages into my inbox (one or two are sufficient), I am currently organizing a masterpost for all the campaigns I have been sent so far. Thank you for your understanding!

Advisory

Most of my content is either General or PG-13, I will not be drawing NSFW (specifically: Sexual or gore-y) content.

HOWEVER! I may draw other mature themes, including yet not limited to: partial nudity, strong language, or verbal/physical violence, in which case I will tag my posts accordingly. View those posts at your own discretion, I highly recommend that anyone younger than 16 y/o stirs away from there. I won’t be playing internet police to see who is looking at my content—i don’t have the time or patience for that. You are sentient and capable of thought, you know what’s right for you and what isn’t.

Side note: This post will be updated each time new content is generated.

Gravity falls & The Book of Bill (TBOB)

-Bill’s Human Design (first drawing) can be found here and the info sheet regarding his design here

-Gravity Falls Fanfic Idea w/Handyman Bill AU

-Bill Cipher - Human design Full-body

-Kid Bill design

-Creature Bill design

-When the Mystery Shack acquired a gremlin…

-Older Mabel design

-Older Dipper design*

-Gravity falls kids as adults*

-Weirdmaggedon 2.0*

Gravity Falls FanComics

-Chip Wars* -We meet again*

-A Family thing*

-Stargazers*

-“I did it , I saved the town”; Ford and Bill react to the animation*

Gravity H🕳️les

-Gravity Holes AU (my little creation :3)

-Dipper, Mabel and waddles design page

-Stanford and Stanley Pines design pages*

-The Holes theory*

-Gravity Holes Rescue Team*

-Life on the other side*

-Gravity Holes; “We found a bunker …”*

Gravity Falls - Rewind the Timeline AU

-Concept, design and fic idea (I will start writing it in December, but I already have 70% of the story outlined-> I will include the link to AO3 when it will be started)

-digitalized design

Gravity Falls - Vogelfrei (Pilot project V) It now has its own blog!

-Story specificities (production and etc)

My Student Spirit(MSS)/Дух Моей Общаги (ДМО)

-Elijah chibi fanart

My two cents plus tax! Fanart for @/geezerflakes’s webtoon

-Fanart here

[***This post is under construction. More content to be added.]

[anzulvr]

Fandoms separated by title, feel free to request anyone not on this list or from other fandoms this is just my current list!

ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM

Karma x Reader: On Purpose, (fic guide)

Karma x reader (headcannons + one shots)

Karma’s Birthday (Xmas2024)

Karma Haunted House

Things he does as a bf

Affectionate reader to Karma

Karma x Reader who can’t hold eye contact

Fashionista S/O

ACADEMIC RIVALS (karma/reader)

Tsundere Reader Hcs (Karma/Itona)

Karma/Eclass with Princess Complex Reader

Karma with S/O that cries out of anger/with a straight face

Sad during Christmas but its Karma’s birthday

[name] gets hurt while sparring with Karma

reader with insecurities

quiet reader good with kids

Hanako & Yashiro type relationship with Karma

Reader Gossiping with Karma (ft. Rio kinda)

Karma with Shinoubu-like reader

Karma with crybaby reader (fav)

perfectionist reader (who is unexpectedly like Rio and Karma)

Famous reader

two psychos who laugh during horror movies (karma x reader hanging out with Eclass)

Shy secretly delinquent reader

Muse (K.)x Artist (reader) UGH I LOVE HIM

Reader with a weapon collection

Reading him like an open book

“chill” but actually passive aggressive reader

karma comfort during a thunderstorm ..kinda!

Dating someone with a personality like his

Idol AU karma (unrelated but I didn’t realize how much I post ab him)

karma x dancer

First kiss

kpop stan reader

Karma x reader except Asano is one sidedly inlove with reader (put my SOUL into this one)

Karma hugs

Argument (timeskip angst-ish comfort)

Dating Karma Headcanons

More dating karma Headcanons

E class pushes you both into a confession

Karma / Reader fluff

Reader w toothgap

Maehara flirts with Karmas s/o, on accident. (another personal fave)

Karma and reader, cheesy pickup lines & bad puns

Karma helps reader through scary thoughts

Arcade date! KARMAAAA

flower shop au karma

karma with taller s/o

MORE KARMA HEADCANONS

Karma x detective-like reader

Online Quizzes with Karma (THAT WAS SO MANY DAMN)

— TERASAKA GANG

Tsundere Reader Hcs (Karma/Itona)

Terasaka secretly likes Reader

— GENERAL ASSAS CLASS

Chiba and Terasaka beat eachother up (Karma being NOSY. Koro being a dad)

reader with a gossip page on Eclass

Karma (Character Analysis, not ff)

Princess complex (Karma X reader but also E class headcannons)

Halloween hcs with End Class

— MIRACULOUS LB

Luka writes a song x reader

— OUR LIFE B&A

Two best friends like their other best friend (Cove and Derek step 2 x Reader (MC) / teasing families

[azzysecondary]

Hehe I have a few~ I’ll just give the HCs, maybe might do explanations and analysis in the future! (Spoilers for both games-)

Octo 2

Ochette- Aroace

“ is marriage some kind of meat?”

Castti- Lesbian

she totally had a thing for Malaya, also her travel banters with Throné, and all of the Fic and fanart

Throné- Lesbian

travel banters~ also vibes, fics, and art

Osvald-

I’d have to think more if I have any, for sure he’s probably straight because of his love for Rita. I also slightly lean toward him being maybe Demisexual, possibly Demiromantic?

Partitio- Gay

That one scene with Alrond. Need I say more? Also Cowboys in history, maybe I’ll do a deep dive into that later. Plus so many fan fics and art.

Agnea-

same boat as Osvald- I do quite enjoy an occasional Throné Agena or with any of the other females in her story, but at the same time I really like Agnekari- frick it, let’s just say Bi for now~

Temenos- Gay

oh he is so gay. I have a 50 pages of research into this. Someday I’ll finish my info graphic some day I swear ;w;

Hikari- Bi and Transmasc-

I quite enjoy both Agnekari and Partikari (and also the triple ship with all three, friendship and happiness squad!!). He definitely also had a thing for Ritsu- the Transmasc HC was one I aquired recently but really like!! My partner pointed out something really interesting to me about the all of the Lineage of Light members(that we know of) being female(except for Hikari and possibly NB Alpates). Perhaps I’ll make that into a separate post some day too!!

Octo 1

Ophelia- Bisexual

She is absolutely into Primrose and H’annit in some form based on travel banters, but also literally has material to work work for Cyrus and Therion too- she is absolutely a Bi disaster and I am all for it!

Cyrus- Aroace

He is so Aroace coded, and it makes me so happy!!

“O Woe is me, Doomed to never realize the full depth of my good looks and Charisma!”

Tressa-

Unsure of this one too ;w;, will have to finish the game before I formulate any I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Olberic- Gay

Erdhart. They twin thier blades >w>~ love me some good lovers to enemies, and back to lovers!

Primrose- Lesbian

She is so utterly disgusted with men. Not only that she literally only allures women in the Octo 2 battles!! Also Yusufua atleast , she’s literally even on her COTC art!

Alfyn- bi atleast

Him and Zeph are so cute with the bag thing, the pinning in that moment was so thick I could touch it. Even if Zeph’s feelings were one sided, I think Alphion is super cute. As for why Bi, vibes. Might come back with more evidence or thoughts sometime

H’annit- Lesbian

H’annit fem slash ships are adorable. I just think it’s a neat HC vibes mainly

Therion- Gay I think

Perhaps I one sided thing for Darius in the past? (Just finished his Chapter 3 yesterday) I also get some slight Ace vibes from him….. but that might just be me, need more time to formulate! Also I think Alfion is really sweet-

It's Pride Month! So let's get talking about our Traveler headcanons!

[morethanonepage]

Re: the post u reblogged about couples actually enjoying spending time with each other/having in-jokes & whatnot. What would u do w that for John/Chas 👀👀

UGH anon i can't believe i didn't answer this very important question before, and esp bc i think maybe you were hoping for a full fic and not just. this random assortment of headcanons, but, obviously i have thots:

one of my fav John & Chas comics canon scene is when they goof on some rando at a bar bc he looks like a character from spinal tap, from which i infer: they probably watched it together, or else must've discussed it (w nostalgia given their own ~touring days) enough that john knows chas'll get the reference. HENCE i have inferred that they have at least somewhat similar tastes in pop culture and i assume that holds true across canons.

comics!john is also someone who canonically referenced dr who, star trek, and star wars, ergo, a BIT of a (sci-fi) nerd, which you wouldn't expect looking at him HOWEVER. chas knows 👀 and probably teases him about. not that chas is like. COOL but i see him as having idk more basic tastes. Airport fiction, etc. Stuff he can consume on his (minimal) downtime as a cabbie/dad/chauffeur/bodyguard/personal chef.

BUT anyway, obviously, i think they watch enough movies & TV together (or separately, but have similar enough tastes) that they have the same reference bank so in show canon i assume it’s like, john makes a lot of random snarky asides, chas laughs at it, and zed has no idea what they’re laughing about and after the first few times she asks, decides she really doesn’t want to. 

additionally, show canon is, when john is in town, they go to bars & music shows together (or i guess at least bars where live music is played? but either way john keeps him out ALL NIGHT and renee obviously hates it).

I think John maybe sometimes forgets that Chas isn't 100% aligned w him on stuff? I just recall TV john having that rambly convo w the bartender at the end of the [aired] pilot where hes talking about the sex pistols vs the ramones & then chas shows up [looking like an absolute DILF in his three layers of clothing in ATLANTA of all places] and im not sure if this actually happened but i can just picture john like, trying to rope chas into that discussion & chas being like, 🙄. 

Another john/chas friendship is just based on its longevity. chas has obvs known him a long time & remembers john in his "cutting up his t shirts & safety pining them back together " baby punk disaster stage, and/or his "frontman in a truly terrible band" thing, so even when john is being all broody (esp when john is being all broody) and/or the worst, chas can't completely divorce that from skinny, messy, but in some ways probably happier or at least less traumatized teenaged/early 20s y/o john.

Relatedly, comics!chas has nothing but disdain for Mucous Membrane, despite being their roadie. (i’m assuming he took the job bc he thought it would get him girls tbh.) And he's not afraid to mention it to john, even when john HAS not asked. Just full on roasts him about it, and john takes it so personally! A DELIGHT. any area where chas has a SLIGHT upper hand on john & relentlessly exploits it really just balances them and thus i’m always a fan.

theres a bit in show canon (I'm p sure it was in the New Orleans ep?) where john, chas, & zed are in the car & have to go talk to the police about something, and john starts throwing out different backstories they can use w the implication that they're the ones he & chas have used in the past, and chas is just like nodding along, and idk it's a small moment but it speaks to the fact that post-fire & pre-zed, john & chas DID engage in at least some spooky shit shenanigans, just the two of them. or maybe their ~bits go back to the MM days, or when they were even younger & john was out there just conning people out of things? Either way, EXCELLENT friendship history vibes.

(I actually just had kind of a sad thought which is, the fun hanging out & drinking in dive bars while listening to local bands stuff was a pre-fire/arthurian spell thing, bc after that chas may have mostly been hanging out w john bc they were doing ~spooky shit stuff)

also i’ve said it before but show!john & chas GO GROCERY SHOPPING TOGETHER IN THE PILOT and we DON’T get to see it and it’s NEVER referenced again and this is BIPHOBIA even more so than the fact the camera drifts when john kisses him in the bar

[spamtonology]

hi! Two things:

i think youre def right about Spamton not comforting people i could maybe see him telling them that he's here 1 (one) time: "your ol' pal [favorite salesman (c) 1997] Spamton is [RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!]") and then sitting there, dead silent, as they cried bc he doesnt know what to do lmaoo.

Specific situation / headcannon bc i think you said you like those one time? Sorry this is long! A lot of fics portray him w/o a lot of his unhealthy behaviors / post-personal growth & i think it's worth considering how his behaviors might become a bit healthier over time.

If Spamton's partner called him out on his unhealthy behaviors like manipulation, projecting, self-hatred, being self absorbed, and so on, I think he'd react 1 of 2 ways

1. If they went about it compassionately and maturely: like reassuring him that, while they love him and want to support him, those behaviors are bad and hurt him and them

At 1st hed probably say something manipulative purely as a reflex bc he doesn't know what else to do when challenged, even if & especially if he knows theyre right. Bc of his self-hatred he'd probably be unnerved at the way they love him while still recognizing these flaws.

1a. I think if his partner were patient enough he'd very slowly move in healthier direction but hed never be totally free of those behaviors. His unhealthy behaviors were what kept him alive and if his partner recognized that too he might feel either a bit comforted or respected (not dismissed). Growth would happen on Spamton's terms because he wanted to eventually, *not because anyone else fixed him, gross*.

1b. He might feel really threatened that they had that kind of insight. If he felt too threatened by that he might just leave, feeling like the relationship wasnt under his control enough. He only knows "control or be controlled", so this kind of healthier relationship is utterly foreign to him.

2. If his partner called him out plainly without reassuring him he would respond aggressively and manipulatively. He might leave. Or the relationship might just become super toxic if he's too obsessed with them to leave.

Like i said before, I think as an immediate response he'd say something manipulative but then if they caught that he was being manipulative right there he might shut down a bit, even if they tried to reassure him and remind him that they love him, they just want him to consider their words. He might even deny it. He probably doesnt even always realize when he's doing those behaviors. He'd eventually consider their words a bit and decide to change for his own reasons.

Basically Spamton's a mess and like you said he needs someone patient but not a pushover. Curious what you think about my specific situation(s), plz ignore if youve already answered this or dont want to for any reason! Sorry again for the length i tried to paragraph stuff to maximize comprehensibility

Hello! I appreciate the time you took to write this ask down, it's clear you thought this out, thank you! I may not be able to answer everything here, but I'll try my best:

I can see him at least giving the confirmation that he is there, complete with calling himself the best salesman, that's very in-character for him. He certainly wouldn't know what to do otherwise, and just hopes his mere presence helps make them feel better.

I like the specific situation you set up here, for as much as he hates it, he does have to face the fact that he partakes in deeply unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms.

You also put together two ways this could go, adding extra context to the situation, which is great. I like that you kept in mind his flaws and how he'd react given the situation, because either way he will not be able to handle a reality check like that very well. He may even dig deeper into denial.

While he absolutely can grow as a person himself, he still does need support (separate from any "I can fix him" thing), support is important in maintaining a healthy mental environment.

[miracle-sham]

Fwigid They Fwoze Midst H-Heawt Thawing Woes.

| Apwil Fowols |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] |

| E-Evewyonye awways thought Wadybug was unbweakabwe. That she w-w-was immunye t-to nyegative feewings, unwike the west of Pawis. That she w-wouwd nyevew fawtew, nyevew faiw, nyevew faww. And so nyo onye couwd have e-expected when twagedy w-wagedy stwikes and Pawis fawws at the hands of hew once bewoved hewo. |

| Nyow who couwd save them aww, f-fwom the icy cwutches of a devastating Akuma? |

| And wouwd anyonye e-even t-twy to save the o-once bewoved hewo, o-ovew the countwess suffewing civiwians? |

———

| Word Count: 4,970. |

| Warnings/Tags: Akumanette/akumatized Marinette, Implied/referenced character death motif, Temporary character death, Not really character death, Grief/Mourning motif, Blood and Injury, Canon-typical violence, Minor violence, Snow/ice powers and theme, Frozen apocalypse/icy wasteland, Lovers to enemies, Hurt no comfort, Angst, OwO/UwU speak/translated. |

———

| A/N: So I wasn't actually going to post anything today until this morning before college, I remembered a conversation with Saf nearly a year ago about wanting to post a fic in complete UwU speak on April Fools and not having written anything in time. So here's half a fic in UwU speak because the full fic (which is hurt/comfort and Angst with a happy ending as opposed to no comfort) because I could not bring myself to translate over 10k into OwO speak whilst in class. 5k is my limit, plus again the last bit of the fic is unfinished. Anyway the entire time I spent translating this i kept thinking "I'm so sorry to whoever actually reads this in it's entirety". |

| The full fic, when completed, will not be in UwU speak and will be posted as a separate fic btw. So uh yeah, enjoy reading this and suffering I guess! And Happy Apwil Fowols :3 |

———

Was it awways doomed fwom t-the stawt? Mawinyette wondewed howwowwy wowwowwy, eyes fwickewing fwom fwozen wuin to fwozen wuin. Bawewy Wawewy visibwe fwom within the seething fwuwwy wuwwy of snyowfwakes.

B-Bweak.

Bwinding.

An unyending expanse o-of gwistenying and swiwwing snyow and ice. Awmost too bwight and too obscuwing to see anything ewse. Even despite t-the d-duwwnyess of nyight.

A white-out iwwuminyated by the snyowgwow.

N-Nyow, the onwy company w-wompany she couwd keep wewe the i-immowtawised fwozen statues of the peopwe who wewe unyabwe to escape the devastation of the descending bwizzawd she wwought. Theiw siwence of wife was deafenying.

A chiwwing mockewy wockewy o-of what had haunted hew nyightmawes.

Kicking hew wegs idwy fwom hew pwecawiouswy wecawiouswy pwecious position on the w-waiwings of the Eiffew Towew, the famiwiawity wamiwiawity of the action a-awmost buwnyed as cowd as the fwigid city i-itsewf. Was this how Chat fewt? She mused, stawing at the bweached white a-and faded bwue spots of hew W-Wadybug?—Fwozen Heawt? Wady Bwanc s-suit. S-Shaking hew head, she couwdn't hewp but cuww hew w-wips swightwy wightwy in distaste. M-Maybe it's iwony wony that I-I didn't end u-up in bwack w-with wed spots wike aww the fawse Wadybug Akumas.

But hew nyew cowouws a-awe what she desewved. An echo of hew once-pawtnyew; just as she w-was an echo of the hewo s-she used to be. Especiawwy Weciawwy in how the a-accents of hew nyew suit echoed the suit the ice powew up gave hew, with the cwystawwinye and snyowfwake pattewns covewing t-the once-wed-nyow-white pawts, and the ice bwue cwystaws awong hew waist and a-awound the yo-yo.

P-Pewhaps, thewe was some smaww comfowt in t-t-t-that the destwuction she c-caused was wittwe i-in compawison to that of Chat Bwanc's. She tiwted hew head to t-the side and stawed up at the nyight's snyow gwow-wight cwouded skies. Hew moon was stiww intact f-fow onye, nyot that it was v-visibwe f-fwom hewe any wongew though. Though, nyot quite a s-s-s-smaww mewcy w-w-wewcy so much as a-anyothew chiwwing mockewy wockewy, weawwy.

She c-cwenched hew fists, so that the icicwes cwinging t-to the metaw dug into hew suit's gwoves. Fow two, onwy hew Pawis had b-been affected this time. And fow thwee, hew death toww was signyificantwy wignyificantwy wowew, what with onwy kiwwing a-a huge swathe of Pawis' popuwation as opposed to how he wiped out aww wife except h-himsewf. Hew Pawis stiww h-had suwvivows wuwking within the desowation. Tweading twacks thwough bittew winds, cwinging to swowwy wowwy petwifying hope. Suwvivows t-that wouwd scweam and cwy and yeww and twy e-evew so futiwewy wutiwewy to fight whenyevew they saw hew, weduced to a wwaith of h-hew fowmew gwowy wowy. The onwy sounds othew than the c-c-cwunch and cwackwe of ice and snyow, ow the tinkwing of i-icicwes in the wind.

Nyot to mention, hew H-Hawkmoth stiww wingewed on. With his bwack ice gwazed goadings that fwactuwed hew m-mind wike hew and Chat Nyoiw's bonyes benyeath his buttewfwy wuttewfwy staff.

A haunting wemindew that she had fawwen, faiwed them, that even theiw bewoved wittwe hewoes wewen't i-infawwibwe.

Scoffing to hewsewf, Wady Bwanc shook hew head and shifted hew position so t-that she couwd c-cuww u-u-up i-into a b-baww and west hew heavy weavy head upon hew knyees. Though, thewe was nyo cwown to weigh hew down, just the cowd hawsh wastewand that she h-had wuptuwed in wime.

(It was awmost iwonyic stiww, that the ice powew up suit she once wowe so w-wong ago, gave hew an icicwe tiawa but h-hew a-akuma fowm did nyot.)

Nyonyethewess Pawis as i-it was a-and nyow is, had fowmed the fweezing pwison of h-hew own making. Even with Hawkmoth's infwuence shattewed wike the ice of his statue's fowm, W-Wady Bwanc was tethewed—ice-bound—to Pawis. A cwuew twist o-of iwony w-wony that with hew fwozen heawt, Hawkmoth had ensuwed hew weaknyess was the w-wawmth, the h-h-heat. T-To e-ensuwe nyothing wouwd thaw hew heawt, especiawwy weciawwy nyot s-some pitifuwwy witifuwwy despewate pwofessions of wuv, fwendship, and cwaims t-that the weaw hew was s-stiww i-i-inside and that she just nyeeded to fight his infwuence.

Biting back a bittew w-waugh, she ignyowed the nyeaw siwent w-whispews in the back of hew mind cwying those vewy same pwocwaims. Something Hawkmoth hadn't anticipated. Especiawwy Weciawwy s-seeing how hew once-pawtnyew had tuwnyed out aftew so wong in isowation. Wouwd that be my fate too?

In wesponse, the cweeping pewnyicious w-waugh o-o-of H-Hawkmoth w-wattwed wike hoaw fwost mantwed chains in hew h-head. It seemed to wast an etewnyity wewnyity b-b-b-befowe fading into the fwowe wike evewything ewse within Pawis.

Wady Bwanc cwosed hew e-eyes swowwy w-wowwy in w-wanguish, thoughts dwifting back to hew o-once-pawtnyew. T-T-T-They might nyot have been meant fow e-e-each othew womanticawwy, especiawwy weciawwy aftew she feww in wuv with a pwince of hew own. But pewhaps Chat w-was onto something when h-he said we wewe meant fow eachothew. Opposites in p-powew yet ouw fawwen fates awe miwwowed in white and bwue and dwenching wonyewinyess.

She sighed weawiwy. As if it wouwd somehow ease the buwden. Openying hew eyes, she g-gwawed w-wistwesswy at the fwosted ovew twaffic wights that wouwd w-wemain d-devoid of cowouw as wong as hew t-tywanny wywanny wouwd weign. A mix of cowouws she wouwdn't see t-togethew a-again unwess s-she weft Pawis. Muwmuwing benyeath hew bweath, she smiwed h-howwowwy wowwowwy. “I nyevew t-thought I'd miss that eyesowe suit of his…”

Wegawdwess of whethew Hawkmoth m-made it so that weaving hew g-g-gewid domain ow destwoying hew akuma object wouwd kiww hew ow nyot, it was nyot wike going anywhewe ewse wouwd be viabwe aftew what she did. She'd be bwanded a cwiminyaw—a viwwain, wike Hawkmoth—then wocked up and be weft to wot—wanguish—ow weww, mewt. Aftew aww, wike most akumas, she's become something a wittwe wess h-human. And in hew case, a-a wittwe mowe ice thanks to the a-akumatision.

What wouwd hew boyfwiend even think of hew n-nyow? A t-twisted wefwection in the ice of the onye he wuvd? Ow pewhaps just an obstacwe between getting the onye he wuvd back?

Weww, it wouwdn't mattew anyway wyway.

if Wady Bwanc nyevew stwayed fwom within the weaches of the fwost… It wouwd be u-unwikewy wikewy he'd see hew again, especiawwy weciawwy as she was nyow. And at weast by nyevew dwifting fwom the f-fwoes of Pawis, s-she'd be abwe to put up a wowthwhiwe f-fight a-against whatevew sewf-pwocwaimed hewoes and vigiwantes wouwd inyevitabwy wyevitabwy come knyocking.

Inyevitabwy Wyevitabwy. Because an entiwe city had been gwaciated fow days, then weeks, then months with nyo s-signs of the cawamity wawamity b-b-being u-undonye. And whiwst the Justice Weague and othews had wespected, that duwing Hawkmoth's weign she and Chat Nyoiw hewd a-authowity wuthowity o-ovew who e-ewse couwd be active without being a potentiaw akuma wisk; undoubtedwy woubtedwy that wespect wouwd mewt away wike the snyow and be soon f-fowgotten. What w-with the sheew amount of destwuction and a gwawing absence of any hewoes, tempowawy wempowawy ow pewmanyent, w-weawwy it wouwd onwy be so wong untiw someonye wouwd twy t-t-to step in ow investigate.

And f-f-fow aww that hew wwetched h-hope was wowth, she deawwy weawwy hoped it wouwdn't have to be D-Damian who wouwd be sent to scout out and attempt to wemedy t-the twagedy w-wagedy.

Aftew aww, if othew hewoes ow vigiwantes i-infwinge upon w-what is hews, then i-it's onwy faiw they faww undew hew juwisdiction once mowe d-despite any wevoking on theiw pawt. A-And unwucky wucky f-fow whoevew the poow souws t-that w-wouwd be sent to investigate tuwn out to be, Wady Bwanc won't be awwowing such a d-diswespect of h-hew once-authowity wuthowity to s-stand, wegawdwess of the cuwwent situation.

And if he is sent… Weww, then nyo mattew how much the tiny shwed of wife-wawmth-happinyess, that is encased in wayew upon wayew upon wayew w-within the ghost sheww of hew fwozen heawt, begs hew nyot to. S-She wiww have to defend h-hewsewf and hew d-domain. E-Even if it means huwting him. And pewhaps even k-kiwwing h-him...

The second Wady Bwanc finyished the thought, hew wesowve cwacked undew the weight of those pesky wesky emotions of hews. C-Choking back a siwent gwieving sob, hew shouwdews heaved. It awmost seemed as though the emotions might pass, when fow the fiwst time since the akumatision, she genyuinyewy wenyuinyewy b-buwst into teaws. A d-dwownying suwging waiw of wegwet and woss and huwt and feaw, aww twisted togethew. But nyot even cwying was spawed f-fwom what s-she had become. Fow the w-wind howwed i-in tandem with hew waiws, and the onwy teaws she couwd shed wewe fwozen o-onyes. And as she cwied h-hew fwozen teaws, so too did t-the sky. Haiw, fawwing fwom the sky and shattewing onto evewything in the aiw. Ovew and ovew and ovew again. Cascading shawds o-of ice wike wewentwess bwades swashed into t-the suwfaces. Weaving them covewed i-in a-a bwanket of cawtwops shawds.

She scowwed thwough the cwystawwinye bwuwwinyess. T-T-The aiwbownye h-haiw shawds swiwwed hawmwesswy wawmwesswy a-awound hew whiwst in t-the distance, faint yewws and scweams began to echo—wawnying fow those awso t-twapped w-within the haiwstowm to take shewtew. Wady B-Bwanc didn't nyeed to patwow to knyow that bwight vivid w-wed spwattews of bwood wouwd soon be painting the ice and snyow. But patwow by heawt she wouwd. Any sight of bwight cowouw amongst the white was nyow both a thweat and a tweat. As evidenced by Hawkmoth's gweefuwwy weefuwwy maweficent c-cwoonyings, in h-hew mind.

Uncuwwing hewsewf fwom hew position on the Eiffew Towew waiwings, Wady Bwanc stwetched i-idwy befowe waunching hew yo-yo towawds the sounds of scweaming and swinging ovew.

It didn't take too wong, despite being distant sounding f-fwom up the T-Towew, the scweams wewe actuawwy wuawwy wathew cwose by. It was just that the sounds had been muffwed by a-a-aww the haiw and ice stowms.

Sticking t-to wooftops and bawconyies, Wady Bwanc awwived a-at the point w-whewe the s-scweams owiginyated in undew thiwty wiwty seconds. It was awmost t-too easy to find. Fweshwy W-Weshwy gwistenying spwattews of cwimson on powdewed white spawkwed wike a buwnying beacon.

Settwing softwy w-woftwy wike snyow upon a nyeawby wyeawby woof that gave hew a cweaw view of the painted s-snyow, she focussed h-h-hew attention on it. Nyot e-even b-bothewing to check fow the onye who bwed—as i-if Hawkmoth wouwd awwow hew—she nyestwed on the shadowed dwift beside a stonye cowd chimnyey wimnyey a-and stawed at the wawe sight. Futiwewy Wutiwewy b-begged hew howwow heawt to feew something fow the pain and suffewing spiwwed.

Even fwom hew high pewch, she couwd cweawwy weawwy see how the wawmth of the bwood had thawed the ice a-a-awound it somewhat. The cowouw was a-a-awweady weady pawtiawwy w-wawtiawwy diwuted and diwuting fuwthew as mowe snyowfwakes feww. I-It wouwdn't be w-w-wong befowe the weeching fwost cwaimed it and caused the c-cowouw to f-fade away to white wike evewything ewse that had once hewd vibwancy wibwancy in this c-city.

Anyothew fwickew of cowouw caught hew attention, nyot faw fwom the bwood bewow. Wed as weww, though nyot the wed of bwood but t-the w-w-wed of a biwd w-waised by bats. She tiwted hew h-head to the side and w-w-wistenyed fow any sound benyeath the siwence o-of the cwying cowd.

A-A sob piewced t-the aiw, fowwowed by hushed whispews—pwomises—of safety wafety, of hewp.

That won't do, the cwoonying taunted.

Wady Bwanc gwitted hew teeth and fowwownwy wowwownwy t-twied to tunye it out.

T-The accent of the o-onye whispewing pwomises, w-was distinctwy wistinctwy Gotham—a voice of bat wweathed in wed, deep with a swight gwoww nyot unwike a cownyewed anyimaw t-tending to an injuwed juvenyiwe. Nyot him then, nyot as shawp and snyappy wyappy as his accent couwd get. Nyo, he was mowe wikewy to hiss than gwoww.

The Biwd bewow, most w-wikewy Jason fwom the voice—though Wed Hood in his cuwwent attiwe—stepped fuwwy wuwwy into view and gwanced skywawd. Seawching, seeking. Fow hew.

Fow b-but a spwit second, Wady Bwanc fewt the uwge to caww out in despewation, to weveaw hewsewf and beg fow mewcy wewcy, f-fow fowgivenyess, fow hewp...

Youw heawt fow powew, weminded the inciting whims.

Cowd wike coffin gwass; she, in wanguish, conceded.

Othewwise staying pewfectwy wewfectwy stiww wike the statues she spent most of hew t-time awound, Wady B-Bwanc n-nyawwowed hew eyes a-and with the swightest wiww of hew ghost shewwed heawt, wwenched upon the wightwy fawwing haiw. And stiwwed the cwawing bwizzawd.

Fwom haiw to icicwes, it w-wainyed. And the icicwes, they waiwed.

Swashing t-tawons of ice cawved thwough the fwuwwy wuwwy of snyow, piewcing the bittew nyight.

The sudden onswaught of shattewing fowwowed by cuwsing bewow did nyot, in fact, bwing hew any joy. Hawkmoth may have found it entewtainying but that was aww the mowe weason W-Wady Bwanc hated doing it. But she couwdn't w-wet them see hew, wecognyise h-hew.

A cwash of bodies tumbwing thwough a-a bwoken down doow g-gwanted hew the f-fweedom to c-c-cwose hew eyes and soften the stowm back to a wanguishing wightnyess. But with it, weveawed the b-b-bwood stainyed stweet whitewashed pwistinye once mowe.

Scowwing, W-Wady Bwanc gwawed at whewe the cowouw had been. At w-weast, s-she weminded hewsewf, thewe wiww be anyothew soon. Biwds of a feathew f-fwock togethew.

Yet nyo s-soonyew had she thought t-that, a wawnying fwom hew domain she heawd.

Wawmth, whispewed the wwithing winds.

And behind hew, the famiwiaw sound of a katanya being dwawn cut thwough the cwackwing siwence of s-snyow settwing on ice. He was hewe; the vewgwas on the woof's metaw waiwings hawdwy wawdwy cwunched benyeath the nyinja wight footsteps of him.

“You, a-awe nyot W-Wadybug.” Wobin h-hissed oh so astutewy wutewy. H-His katanya waised; weady to swash at what he must cweawwy weawwy pewceive as an impostew, a s-snyowmewt simuwacwum. Unhesitating. Stiww as ice nyot unwike his civiwian eawnyed titwe. The Pwince of Ice indeed.

Wady Bwanc tiwted hew to o-onye side, in mimicwy wimicwy of hew once-pawtnyew. A biwwowing c-cwoud of mist a-a-and i-ice buwst fwom hew b-bwue w-wips in a fwosty wosty waugh. “Nyo, nyo I am n-nyot.”

He scoffed, and took anyothew step cwosew. “Then who awe you and whewe i-is Wadybug. Ow Chat Nyoiw.”

“You'we a detective, awen't y-you?” She wesponded n-nyoncommittawwy wyoncommittawwy.

“I am the s-s-son of Batman, of couwse I am!” Anyothew step cwosew. Snyawwing, he added, “if you have huwt h-hew—eithew of them, then I wiww m-make you pay.”

Wady Bwanc stood, swiping off the wight dusting of snyow that had settwed on hew a-as she had settwed i-in contempwation. Tuwnying to face him, hew wips cuwwed into a mocking smiwe. “So p-pwesumptuous. You don't wecognyise me. And yet…?” Pausing to chuckwe as bittewwy wittewwy as t-the winds and shake hew head swightwy wightwy, she gestuwed shawpwy wawpwy at him. “Some detective you a-awe.”

Dewicatewy Wewicatewy, she took a-a few steps back, u-untiw she was aww but swaying ovew the ice-swick edge. Motionying to the swiwwing v-vowtex of s-snyow that wefowmed benyeath t-them, hew smiwe mewted into a thin downtuwnyed snyeew. “Why nyot t-take a wook bewow. Aftew a-aww, I'd be mowe concewnyed about t-the othew biwd down thewe, than Wadybug a-and Chat Nyoiw w-wight nyow.”

“Wed Hood is handwing the situation adequatewy wequatewy.” Wobin hissed, gwowewing at hew with that despewatewy wespewatewy famiwiaw expwession of bawewy wawewy westwainyed viowence bownye fwom pwotectivenyess. “What. Have. You. Donye. To. Them.”

Wady Bwanc's wips cuwwed into a-a wwy smiwk. “Mhmm, weww I suppose if it's handwed, then that's my c-cue to weave.” She teetewed on the edge and swung hew yo-yo idwy as if in pwepawation to thwow it. Quickwy Wuickwy gwancing b-back at h-him, hew wwy smiwk fawtewed fow but a-a fweeting moment as she bwiefwy wiefwy divewted the avawanche of wanguish and feaw fuewing hew powew.

S-She swawwowed a bweath of chiwwing aiw thickwy wickwy, a meagwe attempt to k-keep the woiwing emotions at bay fow t-the fwagiwe moment in w-which she offewed him a siwvew winying of twuth. “The onwy thing to happen to the hewoes, was a fwidged famiwy wamiwy w-weunyion tuwnyed fwosty w-wosty. You'we faw t-too wate to save them nyow.”

Exhawing hawshwy wawshwy, she tiwted f-fowwawds a-and ovew t-the e-edge.

Onwy fow Wobin to wunge aftew hew.

Onye. Second. T-Too. W-Wate.

The wind whipped awound t-t-them as his fingews scawcewy wawcewy bwushed thwough the s-space she had once occupied.

A weightwessnyess cascaded ovew hew as hew feet weft t-the woof and she began to faww. Hew yo-yo, cwasped cwosed w-within hew hand. And d-distinctwy wistinctwy, nyo gwappwing winye extended.

Faintwy Waintwy fwom the woof, she c-couwd h-heaw Wobin cuwsing in Awabic. He hadn't fawwen with hew, it seemed. It was awmost p-poetic.

She was a fawwen hewo, and he was stiww stood s-safewy wafewy a-atop his own hewoic vigiwante pedestaw. Safe fwom being dwagged down with hew i-into the buwnying bwizzawd.

The distance of said faww was woughwy t-ten metwes o-ow so, a-and t-the snyow dwift wouwd cushion hew wanding. Hawmwesswy Wawmwesswy, though in nyo s-smaww p-pawt thanks to a side effect of hew a-akumatised fowm and said snyow dwift, she fwopped into the snyow wike an ungwacefuw kitteh. Hew wimbs spwayed in the mockewy wockewy of a snyow angew. Wady Bwanc wet hewsewf stay as she had fawwen, within t-t-the snyow angew. Waiting patientwy watientwy, she wistenyed cawefuwwy wawefuwwy fow a-any sound that w-wouwd signyify w-wignyify whewe and what both the Biwds couwd be doing. She wouwd n-nyeed the advantage on theiw nyext move in o-owdew to swip away dwamaticawwy wamaticawwy and effectivewy wectivewy.

Nyo wess than hawf a minyute passed befowe she once again heawd the appwoach of W-Wobin's steew-toed boots cwushing t-t-the snyow b-bewow with each fuwious step.

Cwunch-cwackwe-cwunch-cwunch. Cwunch-cwunch-cwackwe-cwunch.

Swish. The siwvew bwade of the katanya g-gweamed thwough the veiw of white. It was easy to see that it w-was nyow aimed at hew thwoat this time. Weady t-to stwike shouwd she bwing him mowe stwife, cweawwy weawwy.

“Whewe awe they?” He demanded immediatewy wediatewy upon s-stepping within hew s-sight, shouwdews t-t-twembwing. Whethew fwom c-c-cowd, panyic, ow fuwy, it was hawd to teww.

Wady B-Bwanc cocked hew head t-to onye side, causing pawt of the snyow angew suwwounding hew h-head to concave in on itsewf ovew hew. Obscuwing pawt of h-hew vision with mowe snyow, nyot that she weawwy nyeeded to wewy o-on hew vision anymowe, what with hew akuma abiwities. She bawed hew teeth at him, in the mockewy wockewy of t-the smiwe. “Whewe the weunyion occuwwed.”

Scowwing, Wobin pwessed the katanya cwosew to hew nyeck, in wawnying, aww b-but h-hissing his nyext wowds. “And whewe i-is that?”

“Whewe d-do you think?” She w-wesponded, waising an e-eyebwow behind hew m-mask. Cwosing h-hew eyes, Wady B-Bwanc smiwed wwywy, a-a singwe stway way teaw twaiwed down hew face, fweezing and fawwing w-wike wonyewy haiw. B-Bweathing softwy woftwy, she exhawed swowwy wowwy but deepwy weepwy and in doing so, she began to mewt back i-into the snyow. The w-wibbons in hew haiw mewted away fiwst, causing hew haiw to faww fwom its signyatuwe p-pigtaiws. And as she became onye with the snyow, so too did the magic that kept hew identity wentity fwom being wecognyisabwe, thawing away just enyough f-fow connyections to be m-made.

“stawp!” Wobin yewped, a bwief m-moment of confused panyic washed ovew his face as he began to piece it togethew. His expwession shuttewed into nyeutwawity wyeutwawity.

W-Wady Bwanc c-couwdn't hewp but nyote how it was the vewy same expwession he wouwd make evewy wewy time him having fought famiwy wamiwy ow fwends was bwought u-up in c-convewsation. The muted fwickews of detewminyation, b-betwayaw, gwief, and wewuctant w-wesignyation. The e-echoes of m-mouwnying the pain once mowe.

A cascading avawanche of guiwt swammed into hew as she stawed up at him with fwactuwing howwow. And he came cwashing to his knyees befowe hew, wike an ungainwy wainwy nyewbown f-fawn, in equaw pawts shock.

Gwimacing, W-Wobin bwinked swowwy wowwy, cweawwy weawwy weassessing t-the situation. In a smaww, awmost disbewieving—awmost chawwenging voice, he whispewed, “Mawinyette?” and winced immediatewy wediatewy aftew.

Wady B-Bwanc w-wouwd have snyowted at his weaction, as he was nyo doubt wemembewing the 'nyo n-nyames in the fiewd' wuwe but at that vewy moment, she was bawewy wawewy weathewing t-the swiwwing stowm of gwief teawing thwough hew mind.

And i-in wesponse, the stowm outside of h-hew howwed wike the s-shattewing of h-hew heawt. The wind thwashed and fwaiwed, w-wipping the fawwen haiw and icicwes into the aiw o-once m-m-mowe in a deadwy weadwy dance of b-b-bwades and bwudgeonying. T-The uppewmost wayews o-of snyow wewe town fwom the top and scattewed into the aiw, bwanketing Wady Bwanc and Wobin in the powdewy wowdewy paww o-of t-the bwizzawd.

As if both wewe fwozen into statues, nyeithew moved a muscwe. Eyes watched onto each othew with aww the despewation a-and dwead of the too thin cwacking ice ovew a pwunge into fwozen watews; a spwintewing of the shawds of theiw pwomise unspoken.

How wong ago had it been, since t-they'd b-both whispewed the wowds of comfowt a-and safety wafety to onye anyothew. Of a-a-agweeing t-t-to wet the othew pwotect them, and s-save them shouwd it come to it.

H-How wong since she had wast hewd him in hew hands, a-and hugged him w-with a-aww h-hew might.

How wong...

Anyothew stway way fwozen teaw feww fwom hew eyes. Fowwowed by anyothew, and anyothew, and anyothew. Untiw the teaws tuwnyed to stweaks of ice cascading down hew face. Two thin wobbwy wimy winyes fwom eyes to chin.

Wady B-Bwanc jewked fowwawds fwom whewe she was stiww hawf-mewting into the s-snyow-angew, weaching onye hand towawds him in a fwantic heawt-wwenching attempt to howd him o-o-once mowe. To feew him benyeath hew g-gwasp with t-the d-definyitive evidence that he was weaw, that he was wawm, that he was a-awive.

The ghost o-o-o-of a s-smothewing waiw was wwenched fwom hew t-thwoat as hew fingews just b-bawewy wawewy bwushed the side o-of his face and the buwsting agony wony of his wawmth scawded hew. Hew fingewtips mewted, dwipping down i-into the snyow. Hew f-fingews, t-then h-hand, then wwist, then awm, swiftwy wiftwy fowwowed but a second watew in excwuciating boiwing pangs of wanguish. P-Pinying in gwieving wuv as s-she wanguished—fading a-and withewing away—befowe him.

The wast thing she saw, and heawd wewe his e-eyes scouwing acwoss the snyow angew she had made, him swawwowing thickwy wickwy and choking out a nyeaw siwent heawtbwoken w-whispew. “Angew...”

The snyow dwift cowwapsed in on itsewf once m-mowe, covewing up the space she h-had taken up and weaving it an empty wy snyow fiwwed gwave.

Unbeknyownst t-to hew, Wobin stawed uncompwehending at the e-empty wy snyow fiwwed g-gwave—angew t-that she—what was weft of Mawinyette—had j-just m-mewted i-into.

“Nyo... Nyo-nyo-nyo-nyo!” His voice dwopped to scawcewy wawcewy a wasping waging whispew of m-mouwnying despaiw waid bawe. “This can't be…”

With a twembwing hand and heawt, he weathewed the fading stowm, weaching onye h-hand to the pwace on his jaw whewe she had weached f-f-fow him with hew snyow-wight touch.

“I wiww save you.” He vowed, fow he h-had a wwaith to put to w-w-west and he wouwd nyot be wepeating the same m-mistakes again. He wouwd fowwow hew down this time, nyo mattew the faww.

———

Down in the d-depths bewow the Agweste manyow, Wady Bwanc wefowmed within Hawkmoth's nyow snyow and statue waden wepositowy of a hidden buttewfwy wuttewfwy gawden. A w-wanguishing ache in hew howwow heawt.

With hew identity wentity weveawed, it w-wouwd onwy be a mattew of time befowe he and his famiwy wamiwy twacked down the waiw to confwont hew. Nyow that they knyew she was awive and she had faiwed, that she was weak even benyeath the haunting f-fwostbitten nyecwosis of Hawkmoth's i-infwuence.

Pointedwy W-Wointedwy i-ignyowing the shattewed and wotting wemains of him, she huffed to h-hewsewf and paced the icy w-wawkway. S-Seconds tuwnyed to minyutes, minyutes tuwnyed to houws. Stiww she did nyot wewent. Though evewy wewy s-so often… she caught hew attention dwifting ovew to the fwowe statue of Chat Nyoiw, and h-hew akumatised gwaciaw w-w-wibbon—onye that Damian had sewed fow hew, with dewicate wobins and wadybugs i-inyexpewtwy w-wyexpewtwy stitched awong it—cwutched in the f-fwozen outstwetched hand. With evewy wewy gwance towawds hew object, the o-ovewwhewming uwge to cwush it with aww hew stwength fwittewed t-thwough hew mind, nyot unwike t-the akuma within. It was a p-pointwess uwge, a-a snyowmewt memowy wemowy of what she used to do in the f-face of such objects. Destwoy Westwoy and fwee in owdew to heaw.

S-She's twied to, oh how she's twied. But hew hands buwn cowd, and kittehacwysm b-buwns onwy in wot and wust. Nyeithew buwn hot enyough to mewt the seaw keeping hew ice-bound in hew fwozen fowm.

A-A dewicate chiming intewwupts hew thoughts. Hew icicwe wawnying system. T-T-The Biwds have found hew. The twaps thwoughout the Agweste Manyow, both Hawkmoth's and hew own, awe stiww a-active. But they won't keep them fwom finding and e-entewing the waiw fow wong. And she couwd awways deactivate hew o-own twaps fow them...

You knyow what you must do. Cwowed Hawkmoth, i-in hew head wike the pinpwicks o-of icicwes dwipping bwood into s-snyow.

Wady Bwanc's steps fawtewed and s-she shut h-hew eyes, tipping hew h-head back a-and scwunching up h-h-hew face. Wetting out a heavy weavy sigh, she gwit h-hew teeth and c-continyued pacing, fixing an aimwess angwy wy gwawe at anything a-and evewything within the w-waiw. Wewuctantwy, s-she vewbawised hew thoughts to hewsewf in an attempt to hewp hew decide o-o-on hew nyext couwse of action instead. “I… I can't wet them destwoy westwoy my object. It can onwy be destwoyed by heat and if it is, then thewe's a good chance it wiww kiww me. Just touching him huwt so badwy wadwy… I can't… I can't go thwough that again. I can't...”

Pausing fow but a shawwow wwaith of a bweath, she winced. “Fuwthewmowe, w-with me akumatised, the miwacuwous cuwe c-cannyot be c-c-cast unwess the eawwings awe s-stowen fwom me.”

She sighed again and d-dwopped hew s-shouwdews, onye hand weaching u-up to bwush hew fingews against the miwacuwous but h-hesitating at the wast second again. Nyot dawing to actuawwy wuawwy touch it. “If I-I twy to wemove them, wike I twied with…” Hew thoughts t-t-twaiwed off and a painyed expwession cwossed hew face. In the cownyew of hew eye, s-she couwd see hew w-wefwection twisted and wawped in the ice, the bwue of hew masked eyes awmost gwowing wike hew once-pawtnyew's kittehacwysm in the dim wight.

As she stawed, a woud SNYAP echoed thwough t-the waiw. And onye w-wong thick cwack spwead acwoss the w-wefwecting ice. Stawting fwom the n-nyeck of the wefwection. The same pwace whewe Wobin's s-swowd had been aimed.

A second cwack s-shattewed the siwence.

Whiwwing awound o-on hew h-heew, Wady Bwanc tuwnyed to the diwection it came fwom. Hew heawt dwopped. Hew thoughts gwound to a hawt. The wibbon, hew akumatised wibbon, was nyow cwacked. Just wike the w-wefwection. Just wike hew wesowve.

A wave of p-p-pain swammed i-i-into hew. S-She cowwapsed to hew knyees. Head hewd in hew hands, she stawed despewatewy wespewatewy at hew w-witewaw wifewinye. “Nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo!”

T-The chimes echoed again. Mowe uwgentwy wentwy this time. Onye Biwd caught in a twap, onye Biwd fwee and h-heading stwaight fow Hawkmoth's vauwt w-whewe the wift to the waiw was stiww hidden, even a-aftew aww this time. And two Bats stawking and suwwounding the estate. T-Time was wunnying out. She couwd heaw him, the haunting echo of Hawkmoth w-whispewing in hew mind, uwging hew. She nyeeded to act. She nyeeded to f-fight them. Pwotect hew wibbon fwom being destwoyed b-by them. She can't do it. Nyot wike this.

Wady Bwanc swawwowed thickwy wickwy, despewation cwawing at hew thwoat. Gwancing back ovew hew shouwdew at the distowted and cwacked wefwection, s-she waiwed to hewsewf. “I knyow I shouwd've fought against this hawdew, I shouwd've been abwe to ovewcome this. But it's o-onwy nyow that the ice is cwacking. What changed? Why nyow? Was it because I cwied today woday, fow t-the fiwst time since I faiwed?”

Nyot u-unbidden, the answew comes to hew mind wweathed i-in the mawefic goading of Hawkmoth. And with it, a-a s-siwent question too, onye that s-she hadn't dawed pondew in aww this time.

Bunnyx?

It had to be. How ewse couwd the Bats and Biwds have awwived within Pawis without hew domain wawnying hew untiw she had stumbwed acwoss them by sheew w-wuck. Why they awwived nyow and nyot soonyew, nyot befowe she had stawted to cwack and thaw. Why Wobin's fiwst weaction t-to hew, was estabwishing she w-wasn't Wadybug—at weast nyot anymowe—and his nyext was asking w-whewe Wadybug was. And why Damian was so suwpwised by it actuawwy w-wuawwy being hew and nyot yet anyothew fake w-wadybug akuma.

Aftew a-aww, it wasn't as if Bunnyx wawnyed hew that hew once-pawtnyew h-had been akumatised when she w-was sent to that t-timewinye to fix it. Just that she had to fix it.

And nyow mowe t-than evew, she desowatewy wesowatewy wished she knyew what happenyed to t-that timewinye aftew the cuwe had been cast.

F-Fwownying, Wady Bwanc thwew hewsewf to hew feet. Hawkmoth's whispewings cwescendoed w-wike wuptuwing and shivewing ice and fwostbite in hew mind; wotting aww what wemains of hew.

It didn't mattew. Nyot a-anymowe, s-she's nyot Wadybug, nyow had she been hew in such a wong whiwe. And despite the w-wanguishing guiwt, she made hew finyaw decision. “I don't want t-to d-die… I can't wet him kiww m-me.”

Hew finyaw stand.

A shivew wan down hew spinye and that was hew onwy w-wawnying that hew time was up.

He had awwived.

Hewawded by the swooshing of the wift descending into the fwozen gwave.

———

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this April Fools fic! Comments, Likes, and Reblogs are much appreciated! |

| Also if you've read this in its complete and utter entirety, then you're an absolute madlad and have my respects. |

| And for everyone who's read any amount of this, I'm afraid you will not be compensated for any psychic damage you may or may not have taken upon reading the UwU speak in this fic. |

| Also feel free to comment how far into this fic you got/if you read it all or how much this hurt to read and whatnot because I'm curious to see how people will react! |

| However, even though this is all in UwU speak, please do not criticise any of my writing regardless. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |