#we also all know how toxic such a workplace can be and she was a woman after all so take everything with a grain of salt

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Mendel treated Olena badly? What happened? 🫨

There were rumours about Mendel limiting the access to Vova and his office and being rude to her and stuff like that.

[ginnyruin]

i'm sorry but the nurchie "art" is clearly AI generated??? can we please stop sharing and praising shit that some algorithm spat out without ever asking the original creators whose work it steals and regurgitates for their permission

- sincerely, a pissed-off artist

Hello,

I’m going to set the record straight, and I’d suggest you read carefully before making any more baseless accusations. Nurchie is an actual artist—a trained one, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in digital art and two-dimensional studies (drawing and painting) from a prestigious university. She has 16 years of professional design/digital art experience, and a publicly documented portfolio going back well before AI art even existed.

go look at her earliest work on Deviantart and you'll see how precisely detailed she draws hands, fingers, and clothing. Everything, really.

If you had bothered to do any homework, you’d see that her work reflects thousands of hours of dedicated practice and the expertise of a seasoned digital artist.

Calling her work AI generated is BEYOND insulting. it’s lazy, dismissive, and downright disrespectful to a person who has spent years honing her craft.

She doesn’t ask for clout, she doesn’t do commissions, she doesn't have a patreon or Kofi. She only made a Twitter years ago because I asked her to share her talent with the world or she wouldn't even bother.

This tendency to label any polished work as “AI” just shows ignorance, plain and simple. Real artists deserve better than to have their skills lumped in with AI machine-generated content by people who can’t tell the difference.

Each of her digital paintings takes anywhere from 30-80+ hours. For Altered State specifically, she's been working on all these art pieces for months while I've been on a posting hiatus. Her incredible work keeps me inspired; I would have literally quit ages ago. We go back and forth on details from the writing in the fic and I see these changes she makes in real time.

She paints in her limited free time for these niche fandoms because she loves the stories and wants to support the writers in it. In a world where fandom is becoming increasingly commodified, she is a rare gem.

I didn't even want to bother Nurchie with this silly comment of yours, but she's such a good sport she just laughed at the idea that anyone could accuse her art of being AI generated. She uses a combo of adobe CC suite and clip studio to draw.

nurchie messaged me this, and I asked for her permission to share it: [I just think they are probably some struggling artist, upset that they feel replaced by soulless AI and are lashing out any time they think they see it. I'm sympathetic to their feelings, and understand the annoyance. I've been battling the improper usage of it in my workplace. AI is not AI but just a data collection tool, and I completely agree that the human eye could never be replaced by it.]

yeah, she's the most chill, sweetest person ever, too. So maybe think twice before throwing around accusations you clearly can’t back up. You're trying to hurt a real artist.

-sincerely,

A writer who knows a real artist

https://www.deviantart.com/nurchie/gallery

edit: also accusations like this drive away real fanartists. Why should they bother sharing their work if their talent and skill are being dismissed as some algorithm's output? it's toxic. fandom spaces will be flooded with AI-generated content in the future because all the true artists will have left.

[yannaryartside]

Shapiro’s angle

I don't think this guy is bad news, or a bad guy per se.

I think he is just an opportunist. And I think he is doing this mostly for himself.

I may be wrong, but for me, the most on-the-nose foreshadowing about Shapiro was Luca telling him:

"Are you getting your sticky fingers on everything again?"

This was right before he asked to talk to Sydney (about the partnership) at Ever's funeral. It was definitely a sign.

Now, it could be a warning about his bad intentions; sticky fingers could be related to wanting to trap someone and never let them go. Maybe Syd should have Pete revise that new partnership agreement.

Mostly, I have a hard time thinking Andrea Terry would have a CDC that was actually toxic or damaging; his true colors would have shown at some point, and she would have known. Maybe that's me being optimistic. Maybe he would show his actual colors when he doesn't have to answer to anybody. Luca hasn't seemed to get awful vibes from him, either.

FINGERPRINTS OF LEGACY

But I associate the sticky fingers comment more with Shapiro wanting to get a "fingerprint" on Sydney. The way a fingerprint may alter the presentation of a fine ceramic plate. Is about marking it as yours, it was in your hands.

Shapiro may think that he has gotten as good as he can get on his own merit, he said he would have stayed with Andrea forever if she hadn't closed Ever, which is a remark on his lack of ambition as a cdc. I think he may be a chef who (also, as he said) is tired of the all-day cooking job, but he still wants to get some glory under his name without all the work. Proteges are a good way to do that.

The only thing about Sydney he knows that could indicate her potential (besides her cooking, which he only tested once) is that she works for Carmen. Carmen has been awarded the best in the world, and the fact that he sees something in Sydney may be enough for Shapiro to bet on her (and a huge bet, considering how much freedom he promised her). Now, what kind of mentor would he be? I would like to think he will try to be Andrea and see where it gets him.

He may have seen the bear's kitchen's obvious lack of functionality and seen it as an opportunity to steal Carmy's best asset from him while she is still unknown by the industry. She could become more expensive to get in the future if she gets a name under Carmen. Shapiro has better chances to get her now. He may even say in the future that he was the only one capable of forming her like a chef while Carmy didn't.

So yeah, he is making a bet on an unknown asset with the hope that it will pay off later since Carmys is not looking. We don't know much about his character besides the fact that at Ever, everyone was cool with him.

I DON'T WANT SYDNEY TO FAIL OR GET SCREWED

Besides how much I care for her—I know it sounds obvious—I don't think it would be a good narrative for the show either way.

Because she has survived Carmy, that has been horrible, but in terms of women in the workplace, at least she doesn't have to worry about being exploited (or other horrible things that we know could happen in these spaces) because Carmy cares about her well-being, the same as the rest of the family.

So, if she hypothetically goes with Shapiro because her voice is being drowned under Carmy's madness, and then Shapiro screws her over, and Carmy has to rescue her.

I am sorry, fuck that.

Because what is the lesson on that? Women should stick around toxic behavior, being grateful that at least they are not taken advantage of? Better the devil you know than the one you don't? Sydney is very capable, and you will punish her for believing in herself?

image by @gingergofastboatsmojito

[pruneunfair]

Ranking all the OI I read. Part 1: the lesser.

It'll be like my tier list except with added stories from the haven't read yet section and of course my opinions.

Since Tumblr only allows 30 images per post and a daily pass based on how many pictures can be posted at all. I'll be posting this list through multiple parts starting with the worst. Get ready because there's gonna be a lot of negativity right now.

Starting with the tier I like to call "Absolute dog shit." Terrible plots, gross content being glamourized and little to no potential at all.

honestly picking the worst of the worst was hard cause there's so many to choose from.. and I think the title of the absolute worst doesn't go to Remarried empress or Today the villainess has fun again..

Its this one: beware of the brothers

I really can't say I was surprised 😭. I mean.. look at the damn title. The FL gets adopted into the family because she looks like the ML's dead sister and it just.. escalates into step-bro love. "But it's not related by blood-" still incest and even if they didn't grow up together, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FUCK SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOUR DEAD SIBLING!?

The order of slave breeding

Yes this is an actual manhwa.. I genuinely wanna know why the author just looked at themselves in the mirror and said "Yes this is a good idea." As the title suggests.. it's about a slave merchant for a FL and her slaves falling in love with her and as if it couldn't be uncomfortable enough it is one of the few manhwa with a dark skinned ML. I don't care how many times they'll offer excues for the lead I don't fw slavery being used as a romance device in media.

I belong to house Castillo

Technically I didn't read all of it, I just read the spoilers for the rest of the chapters but to be fair, I just got finished cursing myself by reading stepbro fantasies and master/slave ships, I'm not trying to give my FBI agent a reason to search my hard drives. It's a basic and cliché found family where the FL Estelle is sold by her mother to her father and the ML is a 17 year old who basically grooms her..why? Because raising your love interest is the "only" way to make a story stand out amongst the other generic found family tales.

I tamed my ex husband's mad dog.

More cases of grooming except this time it's the FL as the perpetrator. ML looks like he's 8 but he's apparently 16.. so we got a groomer protagonist in the form of Reinhardt who also neglects her first child and favors her second child she had with her victim with the excuse of not wanting to care for her son being that he looks like her toxic ex. Lady what? That boy deserves his own villain arc holy shit.

No more turning a blind eye.

This one really dissapointed me 😔. The cover looked stunning, the artstyle while a little off was still eye catching and the title sounded promising. Nah this is a hunk of junk that had a gentrification plot for some reason.. and you were supposed to sympathize with the guy who wanted to render hundreds of people homeless to make room for art galleries or whatever it was they wanted?

The dragon kings bride

I already knew this one was probably gonna suck judging by the title. First off it treats dark skinned people like barbarians, the ML Hakan meets Lucina when she's a child, Lucina is threatened with death if she doesn't marry him and you can probably guess where it goes. Like I said I don't really have a right to be shocked but it still goes on the list for its weird obsession with Lucina being so tiny that having sex with Hakan could kill her along with a not so hidden pregnancy fetish.

I became the tyrants secretary.

Its just workplace sexual harassment, theres not much to it. Cannot stand the ML who is a basic garbage human and Rosalyn is a block of wood when it comes to personality. She wants to do all these things but she has no spine and no will to actually do them but at the same time shes so good at everything on a whim. I usually don't mind a clueless FL but Jesus christ! She makes Adrien Agreste look smarter!

The villains savior

Gotta say the artstyle is really pretty and the FLs design is so cute. Everything else though is pretty bad. The point is basically the lead Ezlay is trying to essentially "fix" the ML as the title suggest. A lot of people dislike this one because Ezlay is very emotional and cries too much but that's honestly the least of the issues here. Now to be fair, Aseph is a villain so it's expected that he's gonna suck but that doesn't mean Ezlay needs to have the personality of a rock either, it's not that she cries a lot that annoys me, she's literally just a male fantasy personified. All she is absolute patience and acceptance for what Aseph does to point of enabling that toxic behavior.

Now we enter manhwas that are horrificly awful, not much difference except these ones have a bigger grain of potential

Lucia

This one got a lot of hate tiktok so naturally I had to read it and yeah, it was pretty bad. The artstyle though just.. I'm sorry but Lucia's face is literally just 👁 👄 👁 and thats not even mentioning the ML Hugo. It's really crinegy and it tries to fill that void with poorly made smut. The plot is also really and I mean REALLY dead set on 1950s values for women and the relationship between Lucia's and Hugo is downright toxic. In fact I don't even think there's a plot.. it's just porn. The only reason it's not in dogshit tier is that it's so iconic for being awful that it deserves to be higher up.

When the villainess is in love.

Okay all I can give this one is that Libertia has a better character design than Lucia. She's a mary sue but at this point that's a lot of leads nowadays so it's not a total shock but this is definitely a case where the story would be so much better if it was the actual Libertia as the protagonist instead of a carbon copy of the ogfl taking over. The worst part though is the fashion and I normally do not care about how dresses look in OI as long as they at least look good and fit the setting.. and dear God a lot of those dresses are nightmares to look at. Thankfully I had heard the novel was better.

Today the villainess has fun again

not a fan of the protagonist. Reilynn is really insufferable to follow since she's basically just an entitled asshole who thinks that just because she got transmigrated as the wealthiest woman in the land that she must be in the right because she's not like Iris who is a basic pick me girl. Beyond the fact that watching her throw money at people to get past an obstacle without effort she's also heavily written as a pedo because out of her options which had 2 green flags her age, she chooses the slave she bought who acts and looks like a 10 year old boy with attachment issues.

Try begging

what is with Solche and their weird obsession with rapist male leads? It's somehow worse then cry or better yet beg. Basically the FL Sally/Grace is a spy and when the ML Leon finds out.. he basically tortures her and SA's her multiple times and somehow they fall in love. Do with that what you will, the only slack I will kind of give Try begging is that it at least warns you of what your getting into beforehand. I really hate that Solches writing actually has so much potential to be amazing yet they use their talents to make rape fetish content. I want to know why manhwa tiktok likes this so much, they're all about girl code until a rapist looks hot (Leon isn't even hot, hes mad ugly)

Abandoned empress

Ah yes, good ol abandoned empress, the manhwa communities favorite punching bag so it's only right it lands here. For all the writers out there if your making a character you'd want the readers to support as the love interest you typically would give them an interesting personality and to tone down anything you think is too much for a healthy relationship. Abandoned empress decides to do the opposite of that and even after scenes of Ruve abusing his wife Aristia by cheating on her, beating her, SA'ing her, killing her dad, and causing her to miscarry so you would naturally think "okay clearly Ruve is the antagonist." But instead they pulled some bullshit "but he's not doing it anymore because he was poisoned in the last timeline!"... what!? Were there any new writers by any chance because how did we go from a abusive monster to a misunderstood Lil guy? I would say more but I think everyone already agreed a long time ago Abandoned empress is ass.

Revenge on the real one

the protag is essentially those villainesses in regression stories that cause the heroines initial downfall. I was already aware of what would happen before I even read and let me tell you it was accurate. The protagonist Helga is AWFUL. The torture she puts Hillian through is overkill and at this point Hillian deserves her own regression story to stand up to Helga because my girl was not that bad for her sister to ruin her life because of a stupid tragic origin story. The worst part is the Helga fans I see on places like tiktok who just don't want to admit their FL is a bad person. "Oh but Helga past was so sad! It's not her fault she's like this." Don't mean she has to banish her sister from her own nation when Hillian was innocent.

Villain Dukes precious one.

I really dislike the reincarnated as a baby trope and I can only ever tolerate it when it's just for a few little chapters. They always feel like those weird ass Elsagate videos with embarrassing humor to come across as funny and this one is no different. Even after the FL grows up the plot is still bland and cringe inducing. I don't have a lot to say about this one other then it is weird as hell. Apparently it also got a little incest-y so no thanks!

Poisonous Lily

While the characters looked basic in terms of design the title sounded intriguing. Unfortunately the translation is horrible, they can't even get the whole Lily flower theme right on the tapas version by giving her tulips to carry on her wedding. The dialog is..interesting to say the least. I won't lose it too much though on this one though since I'm pretty sure this is a lower level book trying to make it out in a sea of over advertised manhwa

I thought my time was up.

You know those porn/no plot tags on ao3? That's basically ITMTWU in a nutshell. Within only 20 chapters, the male lead Asrahan is already obsessed with Lariette after chapters of her violating his personal space to force a relationship between them. The whole magic plot is pushed to the side, Asrahans curse isn't allowed to be an actual rotting flesh curse like it's described as cause he's still gotta be pretty, and the rest of the plot is basically just soft core porn and fanservice that does little to actually move whatever is left of the plot.

For my derelict favorite.

The. Hypocrisy. How is this book gonna make the entire message about deconstructing main character centered morality and then almost immediately backpeddaling with justifying Hestia for attacking a woman who doesn't know her for rejecting her favorite man and proceeding to just ruin her day whenever she can. Hestia would say "im not like other girls." Hestia would be an avid fan of those trust fund baby GMV. Hestia would put her hair in a messy bun, shit on whatever is popular and act like she's making a statement . Even calling her Hestia feels like straight up disrespectful to the real goddess of the hearth who funnily enough is known as one of the most chill Greek gods.

Marry my husband

now Marry my husband is not insanely problematic wheras it's just cliché, predictable and in general pretty bad. It is a fast food manhwa designed to fulfill the classic top boss takes good care of you fantasy so naturally a lot is put on hold to showcase the sweet relationship between the central characters and almost everyone needs to have a lover. It's so bad it's actually kinda funny because the villains are so cartoonishly evil for office workers. Sumin is out here speaking in 3rd person, dressing in clothes found in the little kid section of Walmart and makes comical comments about her desire to ruin Jiwons life, Minhwan is basically a borderline discord mod who casually killed jiwon in the first timeline and goes "Oh well." and there's this random ugly old man who's name I can't remember who's the only one interested in Sumin till the end because he basically wants em younger without the risk of going to federal prison.

Remarried empress

I don't think i need to explain much at this point, if you know my account then you already know how I feel about remarried empress. Season 1 was pretty good though.

Divorcing my tyrant husband

I think we all know at this point that's whenever a title has the word "divorce" 9/10 of the time there is never going to be divorce and it'll devolve into the FL changing her mind and staying with her trashy ex husband because he now decided that Robelia wasn't like other girls and left his mistress in the dust. The plot kinda started getting out of hand when Robelias love interests expanded to one of her obsessed slaves and a Duke to prove that Alexandros was the better option. The villian Aisha is a joke who gets her ass handed to her over and over because "damsel woman always bad." and the art starts to lose its touch. I usually don't mind when artstyle changes but dear God do some of these characters look a Lil fugly.

Cry or better yet beg.

The final story that is in the awful section, why? Because it has the most lost potential. As terrible as this CoHo equivalent is, it details the very realistic parts of being a mistress to a nobleman. In most other stories, the mistress is an evil wench who could easily back out but in cry or better yet beg, Layla is unable to escape Matthias's abuse because it could risk her uncles job. There's a lot to this manhwa and novel that could've made a tragic story about a girl trapped in an abusive relationship with little help, the art is gorgeous and the characters for the most part were well written. It's a real shame that it turned out to be a rape apologist work instead.

next up are the mediocre manhwas, finally there will a little more positivity.

The villainess is a marionette

its.so.boring! This one was hyped up all over the place on Instagram and tiktok and the art looked stunning so I gave it a shot. This is definitely one of those stories that only got popular because of its art in my opinion because the plot is so confusing. Events are happening left and right, the pacing goes from too fast to too slow, characters personalities and traits keep warping, and while this might just be the result of poor adaptation her brother comes across as incestuous a couple of times. while Cayena isn't the worst FL, she's a mary sue by all definitions. Sorry but it's a bunch of jumbled wires. The reason it earns a spot in "it's okay" is because I heard the novel like usual is better so it might not be the fault of the original author

I was the male leads ex

It wasn't bad just boring but a little less boring then the former I'll give it that. The artstyle looked prettier in the beginning so that was kind of sad to see it change in later chapters. What drew me to keep reading was the chance that the ogfl Julianna may not be evil but even a potential love interest. So I got excited and apparently there's the idea that Julianna is actually her brother in disguise which.. would just ruin it tbh, there goes any chance at a ogfl being a human being and not a plot device. Not a huge fan of Erica or really any of the love interests.

From maid to queen

This is the newest of the lineup I read and it was actually interesting for once to see a new story where the MC was the concubine. First off the maids feel less like women employed to do the chores of the palace and more like the cartel 😭, in early chapters whenever Urania is aiming to be the concubine, being lazy with her job or getting comfortable with a powerful man in general they're already out with sticks ready to ruin her day and they even try to kill her. Lot of people don't like that Urania isn't a girls girl but honestly I can't blame her for wanting more out of life then poverty, where she comes across as stupid is that she's still wanting that role even after it got her killed last time. I think that it could work though since it shows that urania is more human and not a perfect goddess of a woman however that does not make up for the shit world building (like what the hell was that mushroom that could turn into a perfect still corpse of you 💀)

The villainess maker.

Ill admit I'm a little harsh on this one on my tier list. The plot still isn't great but there are so much worse out there so it ended up moving up on the list due to default. The plot is mostly just bland and generic down to all the characters and the tropes. Ayla is a girlboss in the villainesses body, Charlotte is a super "revolutionary" kind girl turned wicked wench and the ML is another "touch her and I'll kill you" type. What i will give the Villainess maker is the distinct artstyle. It's not as stylized and while it does get lazy at the end it still is very recognizable.

Abellas dessert shop.

Its another extremely underrated manhwa that's another isekai about a wronged woman looking to move on from her shitty fiancé and start a dessert shop. Ngl the moments where Abella is forced to put on a kind face despite her cheating fiancé or her ex friend popping in is definitely relatable especially in the workforce. Still a little bland but wholesome.

I didn't mean to seduce the male lead.

Eleanor is the FL hired to convince the ML to accept women into his life with the hopes that he will fall in love with the ogfl Irene. Tbh this one can get very icky with how it tries to force the notion that you must fall in love but the guy just instantly falls in love with Eleanor so.. I guess that's a little better? Regardless though i will not fault this manhwa too much because unfortunately the author died before the story was over so it deserves a little slack since it never got the chance to be more. Rest in peace author.

Who made me a princess.

Ill be straight with this now: it's Mid. Objectively the story isn't too terrible and I do find Athy a good protagonist not to mention my love for Jennete but everything else is pretty "meh." Not a huge fan of Claude from his design to his personality, the ML is another case of a grown as immortal meeting his wife when she's still a child (theres a little credit ill admit for Athy being mentally a grown woman but that doesnt stop me from thinking its uncomfortable to acknowledge) It can be cute sometimes and I'll give it that but I don't think I'll ever reread it, just not for me.

Actually I was the real one

Good god this was such a bastardization of the original novel. With that said I'll admit i was still entertained reading it since you could say that the novel wouldn't be an instant cheat sheet to learn what was gonna happen. Still it could've at least tried to be a loyal adaptation. They give Keira 2 options to choose as a love interest when she had none in the source material, Zeke is pushed to the side and the maids honestly get on my nerves with their one note personalities. They also seem to forget that Cosette is literally being possessed by a demon he'll bent on destroying humanity (which she succeeded in the first time) because what was built up as an amazing antagonist is just a joke now. The only other redeeming factors are that in the Manhwa Cosette is still alive and the whole elemental plot stays constant. Despite my complaints on the adaptation it is still a interesting read but the novel will always beat it no matter what.

I know it sounds like I'm just being a negative Nancy with all of these and I'm sorry for being so negative but the next part will be more positive.

Next time on part 2 will be the decent stories.

[baldval]

idk if u like writing him so if u don’t feel free to ignore!! but picture this, adam with a higher up reader with high authority that kinda acts like beelzebub?? like adam sees them for the first time and expects them to be all wholesome and kind but she’s actually just a hardcore party gal! which kinda matches his frat boy persona too🌚 and maybe she even resembles bee a bit? UP TO U! i just love ur writing and thought of this

-🎞️ anon

ALTITUDE!₊˚⊹♡

characters: adam x gn!reader

wc: 1.9k

warnings: cursing, mentions of one night stands

A/N: i'm sorry if i failed you in the whole party-fun!reader aspect i just went on a different direction and when i realised i like this a bit too much. hope you like it too anon!!!!! 🫶

You weren’t ever too sure about Adam. He just seemed a bit problematic, loud, interruptive, and he never took things seriously. Not that you were the chillest person on heaven, quite the opposite, but still, there was something about Adam that threw you off. You felt like that was all a faced. You knew that, when he wanted to, he could be kind, and was actually very enthusiastic regarding his job at heaven. Not that he would ever knowingly admit it. So when Sera partnered you two for a, quite important job, you didn’t know what to expect, or how to feel. At first you thought he might try to run the shop by not letting you contribute any of your ideas. He thought you were a tightass that would try to make everything boring (exactly what he said to Lute).

However, both of you were surprised once time went on, and you got to know each-other better. He realised you were actually quite fun, he might even say careless. He found himself in shock, and partially offended, when he realised you actually hosted parties every few weeks. You found out that he was deeply misunderstood. And actually really cute and charming. And you also promised to invite him to your next party, once you had finished the long task Sera had appointed you.

"Adam? Will you read that to me again?" You sat cross legged on the carpeted floor of Adam’s basement, chewing on the end of your click pen. Adam was too busy trying (and failing) to get basketballs on a net at the top of his wall to notice you’d called out to him. Dropping the pencil down on your notebook, you let out a frustrated sigh, standing to get his attention.

"Adam!"

Startled, he stopped short, turning towards you with his eyes wide in surprise.

"Yeah? You alright?" He asked, putting down the basketball and appearing in front of you.

"Yes Adam, I just wanted to get this part done," you explained, rolling your eyes in annoyance. “Besides, why do I have to work? I would also love to be able to play with that fucking basketball." It wasn't that Adam didn't work, he just got distracted easily.

"Ha! As if you could play." You felt deeply offended even though you knew you did NOT know how to play basketball.

"Wow. Just wow. I thought you would've known about my years in the angel's basketball team. I used to be one of the bests." You lied, trying to defend your dignity.

"As if! I was on the angel's basketball team. Never saw you there." "It must've been waaaay before you got in. I've been here for longer, you know."

"Alright then, prove it."

"Prove what?"

"Prove you can play." He handed you the ball and you held it.

"I'm a bit rusty." You smiled at him as you saw him grin. He could see right through you and your lies, what he didn't figure out was that you could also see right through him. So instead of shooting towards the net, you hit Adam with the basketball right on top of his head. Watching it bounce on it only to later hit the floor.

"Ouch! What the fuck was that for?" he ran his hand through his hair.

"Get to work or I'll hit you again."

"Hey! That's toxic workplace behaviour, I'm gonna have to report you now." You groaned in annoyance. "What will it take for you to work on this with me for an hour? Do we have to make a deal?" You joke with a light chuckle. Adam jumped at the opportunity to compromise, knowing that he could work if he really wanted to, and that the deal would then be in his favour.

"A deal hey?" He asks, resting his chin in his hands, looking up at you with sparkling eyes.

"Yes, whatever you want for 1 hour of your precious time," you scoff, picking up your pen again to work. As a higher ranking angel, you knew better than to be stubborn. You didn't mind having to sacrifice a little something. Besides, the end was in sight, meaning you wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer - however, you struggled to admit to yourself that it would actually make you sad not hanging out with Adam as much as you were right now, worrying you would go back to the stranger treatment you had with each other before.

"I’m not gonna tell you until the hour is up," Adam teases, retrieving a book full of sinners' names for your work from the couch and opening it to a dog-eared page.

"Okay read it again for me, and this time slowly," you emphasise on the word “slowly”, watching him let out a small laugh, shifting on the floor to get comfortable.

"Okay, ready?"

"Yes, Adam."

"Okay," Adam takes a deep breath before beginning, you’re skimming over your notes, making sure all of them make sense. Adam tries to memorise some of the names before you write them, wanting rather to watch you work than have his eyes glued to the book.

Adam rests his hands in his lap, noticing the way your lips part and your tongue juts out only slightly when you concentrate. He notices you fiddling with the edge of your notebook, your fingertips grazing the spiral as it winds to bound the book. He notices how effortlessly pretty you are, and how committed you’ve been to this assignment. He thought it was so funny that you were so oblivious to his blatant staring. He suddenly lets out the breath he didn’t notice he was holding in.

"Adam?" You ask, the same annoyance bubbling inside you from when he didn’t pay attention before.

"Right," Adam shakes his head from his thoughts and returns to reciting the book.

You hadn’t noticed you’d leaned slightly into Adam, your shoulders brushing. Adam suddenly feels warm, his shoulder tingling where you were touching him. His heartbeat hammered in his ears as he licked his lips, readying himself to read the next part.

He thought of how cunning his side of the deal was, and how much more tempting it got the longer you touched him. It was a gamble, but it was one he was willing to take.

Adam rested his hand on his thigh, inching his fingers closer to your joined knees.

You look up at him, finally noticing how close the two of you had gotten, but doing nothing about the close proximity. Something felt different, the air was harder to breathe, and your stomach felt like it was housed by a million butterflies. His eyes shun as they looked into yours, your faces inching closer and closer.

Adam finished reading and silence filled the room, accompanied by the small pants of your breathing, you pulled your body away, sitting up straighter and looking more alert.

"Good reading Adam," you let out a small cough to cover the awkwardness that had just washed over you. Fuck, you were so close to kissing him, and you didn’t know why. You scowled at yourself for being so cliche, and put down your notebook. Adam bit his lip in a smile as your cheeks blushed red because he knew you’d felt that too.

"Okay, deal time?"

You know you asked for an hour, but a break right now didn’t seem so bad.

"Okay," you say, as he scoots his bottom across the floor to face you.

"One kiss," he says finally, your jaw swinging open in shock. A kiss? Was he serious? Did you hear that right?

"A kiss?" You repeat, chuckling. At first you thought it was a prank - classic Adam. However, his face was dead serious, as serious as you had ever seen him. You hadn’t read that Adam felt anything for you, the same way you hid having a big fat crush on him by being sort of mean.

"Come on, you know you want to." He teases suddenly changing his behaviour and body language as he realised he had been perhaps a bit too vulnerable for his liking. But you has already seen him. You knew his true intentions when he asked that and you knew they matched what you wantes, so why weren't you kissing him?

Your lips form a tight straight line as you contemplate your choices. Give up the tough guy act now and cave to your feelings, or don’t. It was like Adam was giving you the perfect opportunity to do what you always thought of doing.

"Okay, only one," you narrow your eyes at him as he gives you a curt nod.

“Of course, whatever the lady wants,” he sends a wink on your direction and you can't help blushing as you try to hide the redness with a laugh.

You lean forward, securing a small kiss on his cheek, almost too close to the corner of his mouth as it curled into a small smile. Your lips linger there for a moment, before you pull away, just slightly, your face still so close to Adam’s. You contemplate whether you should just go for it. But before you could decide what you wanted to do, Adam does it for you, connecting your lips in a soft, passionate kiss.

It takes you aback, but you compose yourself quickly, cupping his cheeks in your hands, as his secure to your hips. He pulls you closer, until you’re practically in his lap, straddling his hips with your thighs. His tongue prods at your lower lip, and without another thought, you open your mouth, letting his tongue explore where no one else has. The feeling was magical, and after all those nights you lay awake thinking of this moment, it finally came in full force.

You had to pull away with a gasp when Adam’s hand started to cup your bare ass under your shorts, your hands resting comfortably on his shoulders as you stared at each other.

"Fuck I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have-"

"No! It’s fine, I just, I... I kinda like you? Adam... And I mean, I don't care if you want to just fuck or whatever. But... I guess I just don't want that." you let out a nervous laugh, wanting so badly to crawl into a hole and die from your confession. "It's not you! Well, I guess it is you? I don't mind one-night stands, I just..." Adam interrupts you by letting a small laugh, the back of his hand coming up to caress your cheek.

"I get why you assumed that. I mean, I am THE Adam, THE original dick, why would I settle down?" You roll your eyes at his cockiness and his expression softens. "But I do like you. I like you just in the way that you said it, truly."

"Really?" You ask him, your voice only just louder than a whisper.

"Yeah! I mean- you’re so smart and pretty, and we’ve spent a lot of time together, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, wouldn't mind getting to know you better. The whole of you" he moves his hand towards your waist.

“I’ve felt the same way,” you reply, pulling Adam in for a hug, resting your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you close, before you sit back down on the floor across from him.

“So… you think I’m pretty?” He asks, shooting you a cheeky wink. You roll your eyes again, letting out a small laugh.

[thepoparena]

Thoughts on "Quiet on Set"

I imagine, being one of Youtube’s “Nickelodeon Content Creators”, you want to know what I thought. QUIET ON SET, the new four-part documentary detailing inappropriate behavior and abuse on the set of Dan Schneider’s various Nickelodeon shows, starts off on its worst foot, with all the earmarks of trashy tabloid journalism. A couple of gossip journalists walk us through events and interject how you’re supposed to feel about them. There’s one moment where Leon Frierson, former ALL THAT cast member, talks about how uncomfortable some of the costuming made him, about how the noses on a nose-themed superhero costume has some unfortunate phallic resemblances, and then we cut to a writer from Buzzfeed going “and then the sneeze gag is basically a cum shot joke!” Frierson never says that. In a later episode, a similar comparison is made to a gag on ZOEY 101, but there it’s actress Alexa Nikolas making that connection from the workplace environment she had found herself in. It’s an authentic observation, where in the earlier example it was outsider sensationalization, playing to the “crusaders” on Twitter and Tiktok where the public side of Schneider drama has mostly lived over the past decade. They bring on Marc Summers, Nickelodeon elder statesman who had virtually no presence in this era of the channel, for all of twelve seconds so that he can watch a clip of a Schneider show and go “oh, wow, they aired that?”

You can imagine how the producers' eyes must have lit up when they learned that Brian Peck, former Nick dialogue coach and convicted sex offender, owned a John Wayne Gacy painting. I mean, yeah, that’s fucked up, but it has virtually nothing to do with anything. It is, however, a perfect “can you believe this” moment that can be clipped and shared on social media for shock value. It’s something that the documentary can ride as a viral moment.

QUIET ON SET was produced for Investigation Discovery, whose bread and butter is schlocky true crime documentaries. Shows like EVIL LIVES HERE and WHO THE (BLEEP) DID I MARRY. Not exactly tasteful television. The channel is owned by Warner Bros Discovery, and was simultaneously released on Max. Warner Bros Discovery owns Cartoon Network. The documentary puts emphasis on Nickelodeon being on the top of the children’s cable game, and often brings up the Disney Channel as Nick’s main competitor. At no point is Cartoon Network mentioned, because, well, nobody wants to say their competitor is doing better than them, and saying you’re doing better than Nickelodeon would defeat the documentary’s narrative. My point is that I do not believe QUIET ON SET comes from a genuine place. It’s cheap schlock shock documentary filmmaking that wants to attract the same crowd who watch serial killer shows for fun. However. It’s also a space where a lot of people who were hurt during this time at Nickelodeon have come forward to tell their stories, and that pretty much nullifies all the gross exploitation elements present in the early parts. When these people start speaking for themselves, the documentary has no choice but to let them speak, and its more garbage instincts fade away. By the time Drake Bell starts telling his story, the gossip journalists all but vanish until the end, and there’s a stronger sensitivity to everything. The topics raised are harrowing. Workplace discrimination, sexual harassment, child abuse, sexism on set, racism on set, and general mispractice paint a meaningful picture of the toxic environment Nickelodeon was allowing at this time. The stories told by AMANDA SHOW writers Christy Stratton and Jenny Kilgen are infuriating. And then the sexual assault of Drake Bell by Brian Peck. Not an easy watch. It shouldn’t be an easy watch. What a fucking awful thing. It’s heartbreaking to watch. The documentary handles it with an unexpected tact and evenhandedness. It doesn’t excuse Bell’s later behaviors, and it allows Schneider to come off as one of the few adults who handled the situation correctly, even if the rest of the documentary is largely against him. I wish this had been the tone of the entire piece. QUIET ON SET is an important document of a terrible entertainment workplace. It’s a shame they dumped a bunch of trash on top of it. It’s not an easy watch, but it’s one of those things that’s going to be referenced to a lot over the years, and I hope that the people who make children’s television were learn the right lessons from it.

[cherryblossomchronicles]

The revelation of Seok-Ryu's past was a gut-wrenching blow.

Going from the high of deciding to spend the rest of your life with your partner to realizing you might not even have the time for that must have been devastating for her. But then choosing to not tell your best friend about it, your family? It would have totally crushed her to go through all of that alone and put a strong front for them.

“It’s okay Seok-Ryu, it’s not a big deal.

I’ll get better. I’ll tell them after I get better.

It’s not a big deal, its nothing.”

As an elder daughter, Seok-Ryu had internalized the societal expectation that she should be the pillar of strength for her family. This pressure to always be "okay" had become so ingrained in her that she felt compelled to hide her struggles. Her reassurances to herself that "it's not a big deal" were a desperate attempt to maintain a facade of normalcy.

This is such a consistent thing with elder daughters in a family. We must have it all planned, we must be able to solve everything, survive anything that we prefer to tell anyone about our problems when we have already solved them. This habit becomes so ingrained in us that we stop telling people even about the things that we should.

“I’m going to worry about a recurrence next year and the year after that.

Even if I remain in complete remission for five years, I won’t be completely free.

I’ll always be near death’s door. I am going to feel a little anxious and sad.

That’s how my life’s going to be.”

This is the life of a cancer survivor. Even if you’ve risen triumphant from the battle, war is not yet done – rather your entire life is now a war. You can’t rest it easy. Stress, anxiety and fear will constantly dog your steps and make a home in your routine. This is what Seok-Ryu’s reality look like with her mental health taking a steep nosedive due to her physical health. She had to let go of so many aspects of her life to deal with her new reality. All this while she was also dealing with her slowly crumbling relationship with Hyeon-Jun.

When she could finally let go of that threads tying her back to the toxic part of her life and decided to come home, she realized there is another battle that she must face – lying to everyone she loves day-in and day-out. And she did, pretended that everything is fine, that things didn’t work out for her, that she had burnout – that she came back due to workplace harassment. Everything was acceptable but the truth. That little nugget was something that no one could know about. For all the problems, scorns and disappointment that she had to face and go through, the reality of the hellscape her life turned to was known only to her and she was happy in that escape. Even if she had to pretend, make herself sick, avoid the situations and deny herself the things she wants, if she could believe that everything is back to normal for few moments – all of it would be worth it.

“That’s why I don’t need love anymore.

The stomach I have left can barely handle digesting my dream.”

In all this, one thing that made me immensely sad was her decision that she and her situation is the problem. What happened with Hyeon-Jun made her think that no relationship would be able to survive the stress that comes as a complimentary gift of being with her. And she? She swore off it. Everything is acceptable in her books, everything, but ruining her friendship with Choisseung.

She knows he likes her, she also remembered that she liked him first, in their past but she would rather be selfish and keep Seung-Hyo in her life as her friend. At least with it comes a guarantee that even if he gets angry, mad or furious with her, it’s all temporary. That their friendship is made of sterner stuff to crumble under this pressure. She can’t say the same about relationship and repeating the slow death of a relationship like the way she experienced is the last thing she wants to do. Especially when the person in question is someone, she holds very dear.

Having decided upon the truth about being with her, she went ahead to turn him down as gently as she could, crushing any hope while also trying to preserve as much of their friendship as she could.

Seok-Ryu wants. She wants to be happy. She wants to not have to worry. She wants to cook for a living. She wants to see her parents happy. She wants to see Seung-Hyo successful. But more than that – she wants to keep seeing that smile on his face and she knows being with her is the fastest way to lose it.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

https://www.tumblr.com/fromtenthousandfeet/766065012296056833/so-basically-what-im-getting-is-that-hybe-and?source=share

You know I've worked under a CEO who had a massive ego. With men like that and companies that have a culture like that, you'll see that ultimately decisions will be based on the CEOs "gut instincts". I'd bring up data driven proposals based on market research and argue for initiatives I believed in because I naively thought my success = company profits from my proposals. I quickly realised that nope, people who showed worse results than me got shifted to better projects because they were massaging the CEOs ego better. You'd have treat his ego like a delicate baby bird egg and make him think what you want is his decision. This is a dynamic in a lot of places but it's esp strong in asian workplaces and being a woman also unfortunately makes a difference. I admit instead of sticking by my principles, I adopted a similar approach and immediately started getting more acclaim for my work even though imo it was actually worse than before. I ultimately got tired of all of it and moved to an mnc where things are less about catering to one man.

Anyway this long rant was just to say, you'd think that in the face of overwhelming evidence that they're not backing a strong solo talent like Jimin enough, this dumbass music label would course correct and fix their mistakes. This is why so many pjms think Jimin's not continuing with hybe. But I'm gonna say men like bang si hyuk who probably solely credits himself as the brains behind the success of BTS more than any member and think their thoughts are always right, would rather double down than admit they made a mistake and did not identify Jimin's solo talent correctly.

Of course I don't have any inside scoop on Hybe and perhaps I'm projecting too much of my personal experience here but as much as I don't like MHJ, I can identify with that aspect of her complaints which were obvious from the messages she exposed that she exchanged with BSH. Or that post by the Hybe employee you shared who talked about getting pushed out of the company. Hell even the myriad controversies that keep getting exposed about Hybe employees bitching about their artists on forums, getting exposed for insider trading, potentially being on DC gallery and selling info to ssngs, the cloying nature of that internal report, embezzlement scandals etc - I know they're a big corporation but it is not normal to have so many issues in such a short period of time. It's a symptom of a toxic workplace where things are festering under the surface.

A bunch of misogynistic, old Korean men decided to back JK and his bad boy aesthetic instead of Jimin whose appeal is more soft and unisex - it's not surprising right? We talk about how men look down on kpop esp boy groups because their fanbase is primarily women, and we talk at length about how sea countries have a higher tendency to shun Jimin because of some internalised homophobia (wild considering we don't know anything about his romantic life) - but these are the same type of people who are in charge of orgs like Hybe. Of course their asses don't back him or see his potential. Also why they're struggling so hard to break into western markets. They cannot see beyond their own twisted ideas of what makes a successful artist - esp a male solo artist

Truly I think they personally don't see his appeal or like his music and they think that means he can't make it even though at this point it's becoming kind of obvious he's perhaps the most popular member in the US and latam. And damn with who, he's doing amazing in Russia, Europe and India too. Will they get their heads out of their asses and give him the promo he deserves? I really don't know. I don't think he's parted ways with Hybe like some pjms so unless he plans to in the future, I can only hope they're eventually forced to see the light.

PS I'm from a sea country, currently working in the middle east so I don't bring up Asian work culture or sea / asian countries to be derogatory but from personal experience. Also sorry about how long this got!

Thank you to the anon who sent this to me so long ago (in response to the weekly industry trends leak). I've been waiting for the right time to share this and today feels like the day with the announcement of the new BigHit CEO announcement.

I saw the most amazing comment from a KPJM today - only pigs survive in pigsties. Maybe the new CEO will be great and a much needed fresh start, but it's also possible that she's held on for so long in the company because she's willing to do what's necessary to keep her job and move up the ladder. We shall see. I'm staying neutral for now.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience and your insights.

[pseudowho]

genuinely asking to arm myself better in the future: how would you respond to coworkers/strangers who feel entitled to comment on your appearance?

i had a coworker tell me the other day i look very pale in front of everyone on my team and in response i just asked, “really? i look pale?”. she then said “you look like you just got out of bed” & so i said “oh wouldn’t you know it i woke up the same time today just like yesterday” and just felt absolutely silly. i wish i had a better comeback.

+ another coworker felt it was necessary to send me a slack message complete with a video attached of how he thinks that i “should do my hair like that”. i didn’t reply to the message but i’m honestly just tired.

extra credit for men in my workplace who apparently talk about how i dress & objectify my body so much so someone who worked in a different branch approached my manager abt it, who then proceeded to tell me that my pants were too tight and that i was violating the dress code. my manager proceeded to make the joke that “well maybe you just grab their attention. can’t blame them for looking.”

maybe i should just quit my job since this all happened within the span of one week. anyone hiring for a tech role? or any recommendations for a better industry to work in? will be taking notes because i hate how much emotional energy these interactions take out of me

Be bold. Be confrontational. Be brave.

People who pass unwanted comments on other peoples' appearance 100% rely on societal constraints and the fear of embarrassment preventing people from calling them out. These people say snide, backhanded little insults, poorly masquerading as concerns, which are easy for them to backpedal into if you show any offence, or make you look like you're overreacting if you show offense.

If you roll over once, or twice, or three times, people will cotton on; you can be walked over, too! Let's change that, shall we?

I say: fuck you societal constraints! Let us embarrass the rude, as follows (all said in a beautiful, light-hearted, "they'd look like a piece of shit if they argued with you" tone):

"Oh, that's not very nice. I was raised to believe that commenting on someone's appearance is rude. Were you not?

"Maybe YOU should do your hair like that!"

"I'm quite happy with how I look. Are you not happy with how you look, and just projecting on me?"

"Why are you looking at my pants and not my work? Have you got a copy of the uniform policy please? Can you explain to me how these pants are indecent? Oh, I see. So you just see the female form as indecent? Can we clarify with HR and perhaps some legal representation?"

"Unrelated, but do you have any policies on sexual harassment in the workplace?"

Also on what planet is 'pants too tight' violating a dress code? Sounds like the female form being hypersexualised again, doesn't it?

How dare you be woman have shape make man feel sexy thing be inppropriate make peepee feel strange make think violent thinks!

But fundamentally: If you're in a toxic work environment where they value nasty little appearance criteria over competence, however, and no amount of standing up for yourself changes it, I'd get the hell out of dodge, honestly.

Love,

-- I Swear To God, One Day I Will Start Stabbing And Just Won't Stop xxx

[brian-in-finance]

Photo: Patch Bell

Outlander and Karen Pirie star Lauren Lyle on her self-belief and taking the leap to pursue her dream

Nominated for two awards at the Scottish Baftas this evening, Lauren Lyle promises it will be a celebration no matter the outcome.

The Glasgow actress has grafted hard to enjoy a remarkable rise over recent years, headlined by her first leading role in Karen Pirie, the acclaimed St Andrews-set crime drama based on Val McDermid’s novels.

Next year is set to be the 30-year-old star’s biggest yet, with several leading roles in film and TV, including a second series of Karen Pirie, so now seems like a good time to pause and look back on her career so far.

“I moved to London at 19 and if I’d told myself then that I’d have my own TV show, had done one of the biggest shows in America (Outlander) and would be working all the time, I don’t think I would have believed it,” she smiled.

“I would have thought I’d needed to have done something terrible to have got here, but I just worked really hard. I’m working on a show called Toxic Town for Netflix, which has Rory Kinnear and Jodie Whittaker in it, and I asked both what their secret is. They said they didn’t know, they just keep working, and they’re testament to doing great work and not trying to be famous.

“Rory told me he always wanted to be known for being good, and I’m the same. I’m trying to pick good things and be in quality stuff, things that excite me and getting to work with good people.

“I came to London to audition for drama schools and came close but didn’t get in. I think I’d only been to London once before as a kid but didn’t remember it. I was so hungry for it, and being around other actors in this world was so thrilling and I knew this was what I wanted to do and the place to do it.”

Taking the plunge

Lauren moved into a shared house with four people she hadn’t previously met. She took on several jobs to pay the bills while trying to engineer a break, joining a theatre company and eager to learn.

Photo: Patch Bell

“It was a risk but I put my head down and grafted hard,” she said. “I think I’ve always had deluded confidence that I can do something. My mum is a school PE teacher and I was a gymnast and runner and I’ve always been competitive to win the race, but that’s not helpful at times because there isn’t a finishing line or right answer here; there’s lots of different ways to do this, so I’ve had to put those feelings aside at times.

“I had a big agent for about a year before I got a job, and then two came within two or three weeks of each other – Outlander and Broke, with Sean Bean – and my life changed. I did my tax return for that year and realised I’d done about six jobs – dog walker, flyering, receptionist, in Zara’s stock room for 18 months. Random stuff that I did for ages.

“It was bleak at times but I loved going to the theatre and seeing this life dangled in front of me. It was quite inspiring.”

Karen Pirie

Lauren’s recurring role as Marsali in Outlander was her break, while BBC thriller Vigil, where she played activist Jade, introduced her to a different audience. When Karen Pirie came along last year, she felt ready.

“I’m so proud to be part of the show. It was so well made, beautifully shot, and with a crew who were hungry to be there. It was my first lead and I had creative control around what she looked like and who she was,” Lauren explained.

“The director, Gareth Bryn, writer Emer Kenny – who also executive produced – and myself were constantly in conversation. We all had such a brilliant time, and it was a story that meant something and said something of young women.

“It was about a young woman trying to solve a crime about another young woman, so Karen knew what it’s like to be afraid to walk home alone at night, and how a young person can be underestimated in the workplace and how difficult it can be to prove themselves.”

Photo: ITV

Based on Val McDermid’s novel The Distant Echo – about the cold case investigation of a 19-year-old woman’s death which is reopened and given to DS Karen Pirie after a podcast cast doubt on the original investigation – it was a Sunday night hit for ITV last year.

“Val has been complimentary and incredibly supportive of me,” Lauren continued. “She had to sign off on me playing the character. I was worried if she would be happy with the Methil accent. She visited the set and I prepared myself, but she said I was very good.

“She messaged me on Twitter when the awards nominations were announced and congratulated me and said we would need to go for a drink. I’d love to have a drink with her – I’m sure she would have some great stories!”

Scottish Baftas

The drink will be flowing this evening at the Scottish Baftas in Glasgow where, in addition to Lauren’s two nominations, Karen Pirie is also in the fiction director and scripted television categories.

“The show came out too late for the 2022 awards, but it’s nice that we’ve since announced a second series. We have a big Karen Pirie table. My parents are coming – my dad has a new velvet jacket to go with his tartan troos – as is my boyfriend, who is South-African-Australian, but we’ve recently discovered he has lots of Scottish heritage, so he might wear a kilt, and my agent will be there, too.

“Everyone is dead excited and the whole team is there to celebrate.”

Lauren’s nomination in the Audience Award category sees her vying with Brian Cox, Lewis Capaldi, Tony Curran, Hamza Yassin and Meryl Williams.

“To be in a category with Brian, Lewis and the legend that is Meryl from The Traitors, I feel that’s the only time in my life this will happen. I’m tempted to say to Brian that if he ever needs me to play his granddaughter or daughter, I’m here. Someone should cast us all as a family.”

New projects

With a second series of Karen Pirie expected to start shooting early next year and a rumoured return for the final series of Outlander – “we may be talking, who knows” is all Lauren will say – 2024 will be another busy one for her.

She will follow up her first starring role in a movie, Mercy Falls, which was released earlier this month, with another two movies to be released next year – thriller Something In The Water and The Outrun, with Saoirse Ronan and Jack Lowden.

Photo: Robert Wilson / Starz

“We filmed Something In The Water in the Dominican Republic. It’s like Bridesmaids but a thriller. The Outrun was filmed on Orkney. Saoirse and Jack saw me in Vigil and asked if I’d be part of this film, which is the first from their production company.

“I had to get the Orkney accent just right. At the first read-through, Amy Liptrot, the writer of the book it’s based on, said it needed to be a bit less Shetland and a bit more Orkney, so I went away and made sure it was right.

“Everyone was so welcoming on Orkney. The beaches were ridiculous. I was stung by a weever fish, which apparently is an unusual thing to happen. My foot was on fire for a day.

“I’ve also been making Toxic Town, a new series for Netflix which is about the Corby poisonings, one of the UK’s biggest environmental scandals, which no-one really knows about. It’s about mothers in a David vs Goliath battle for justice, and I’m wearing lots of ‘90s and ‘00s power suits.

“As well as Jodie and Rory, it has people like Aimee Lou Wood from Sex Education, Joe Dempsie from Skins, Claudia Jessie from Bridgerton, Michael Socha from This Is England, and Robert Carlyle, who is the nicest man in the world.”

Shooting in Scotland

Despite living in London, Lauren finds many of her jobs are being shot in Scotland, which she’s happy to see.

“Nowhere looks like Scotland and a lot of productions are coming here for that reason,” she added. “It’s really cool to see it happening and it’s a testament to the quality of workers you get here.

“Plus, it gives me a free trip home to see my family.”

Photo: Stuart Wallace / Shutterstock

At last year’s Scottish Baftas, Dunkirk and The Gold actor Jack Lowden spoke glowingly about Lauren Lyle.

The pair have since become friends and colleagues, and Lauren is keen to support new talent coming through in Scotland just as Jack did with her.

Speaking about this evening’s Scottish Baftas, Lauren said: “Me and Jack were talking about how great it is to get a lot of Scots in a room to congratulate each other, all these people doing well from this proud place, on international stages representing our country, heritage and culture, which we’re so proud of.

“It’s a great opportunity to shake everyone’s hands and say ‘aren’t we an amazing team?’

“I want to know who the other young people are. We’d like to be able to speak to the younger Scottish actors and welcome them in. Jack did that with me – talking about me, being supportive and asking me to be part of his film. I don’t know if we’d met at the point he spoke about me at the Scottish Baftas. I was very flattered.

“He and Saoirse have been really cool and supportive, and I hope to do the same at some point. With season two of Karen Pirie coming, I message its writer, Emer Kenny, and tell her to keep an eye out for this guy and this girl.”

Remember… she will follow up her first starring role in a movie, Mercy Falls, which was released earlier this month, with another two movies to be released next year – thriller Something In The Water and The Outrun, with Saoirse Ronan and Jack Lowden. — The Sunday Post

[meepetteoneonly]

Snakes and Ladders: I.

Also on AO3 - here.

Chicago has Al Capone, New York has Lucky Luciano and Baldur's Gate has Mephistopheles Cania. However, the don is dying of cancer and the struggles for power between families of Baldur's Gate as well as within Cania's family are inevitable. His son, Raphael, is ready sit on his father's throne, but he needs allies to carry out his ambitious plans. As it wasn't enough, he has to deal with a new magistrate, Astarion Ancunín, who seemed not to respect the established order of things. Maybe Astarion's assistant, court clerk Octavia, could help him to dig some dirt on Astarion.

OR

Raphael, Tav, Astarion, (she) Harleep, Gortash, Nine-Fingers Keene and Mol (as an adult) in bloody mess of a story set in mafia AU.

TW:

Hunger, childhood in poverty, sexual harassment, toxic workplace

NOTE:

First of all, I would love to point out the great piece of fanfiction - the Fatal Interview by cravengaffer which inspired me to write this. Go and read it. It's brilliant!

Now to the rest. I allowed myself some freestyle with this whole concept of magistrates as we lack this institute in continental law. And to be honest, I don't know that much from common law. So bear with me, please.

As to some possible TW's in this chapter. Sexual harassment at the workplace. And I mean it! Mind the warnings and tags, I beg you.

The golden sign announced third floor and Astarion hopped out of the paternoster lift. He wondered whether it is possible to escape this monstrous machine with at least little bit of elegance, but luckily, the hallway was empty and so the clumsy stumble he performed while getting of the lift remained secret of his and walls of Department of Administrative Offenses of Baldur’s Gate District Court, the Lower City bureau. 

Astarion Ancunín was assigned as a magistrate to the court three months ago and so far, the judges were satisfied with his performance. He delivered the decisions on time, cases did not pile up on his desk, he work effectively with prosecutors and not many of his decisions were subsequently challenged. His supervising judge even described him as a remarkable newcomer in the report for the District Court Council and Astarion felt rightfully proud. 

He quickly checked his watches. He was a little early today. As he was walking through the labyrinth of long dark corridors to his office, Astarion missed the distinctive sound of justice machinery. He enjoyed listening to the rhythmical clicking of typewriters, ringing of the phones and the hum of everlasting discussions over various legal issues. But the court building has not woken up yet. 

Astarion’s office was located in the right wing. He would appreciated an office with functioning heating, but in the end, he was glad for what he got as the windows of the left wing offices were just above the old cemetery while his own had a view on the waterfront. The building of the court faced busy crossroad that served as a main traffic artery connecting the docks and industrial part of the city with polished streets leading to the city centre. He hoped to be assigned to the Upper City bureau as it was required that magistrates lived in their court’s jurisdiction, but so did other newly appointed magistrates. Unfortunately, the public secret was that places at Upper City bureau were reserved for those with relatives or friends at right places. Astarion had none of those. Not yet, he kept reminding himself. 

The familiar cold welcomed him as he opened the door No. 341. He had tried to request the repair of the heater several times, but the court administration only informed him that due to the new budgetary rules, expenses on repairs and maintenance should be cut to the minimum necessary. In other words, he survived three months, he can do it until spring. Astarion knew well how it is with public finances. No public body will invest into anything that still somehow works and courts was no exception. No matter how rusty or slow the gears of the justice were, as long as they were spinning, there was no need for extra funding. 

He put off his coat and took a moment to enjoy the view on the river. Hazy morning light was slowly diluting the dark, sweeping it out of the gaps between the cobblestones covering the riverbank. Patches of fog still remained on the water surface that mirrored bright orange lights of sodium lamps. The usual buzz of the city was just about to start. Such tranquil moments were something Astarion was not used to. But he enjoyed them. Or rather he felt like he should be enjoying them. But when he was alone, when there was no view to admire or another offense to be punished, he felt that time he was mercifully granted to enjoy what he has achieved so far, was running between his fingers. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't help but hear the ominous ticking of clockwork oiled by his parents’ words: There’s no such a thing as better life. Not for people like us. Don’t be naive.

He took his parents for fools who confused naivety with ambitions. Astarion was never naive. He accepted world as it was, played with cards he was given and he considered himself to be good at it. At least, compared to his parents. Those poor wretches were barely scraping along their entire life, toiled themselves for few cents a day and for what? To live a humble but honest life? To truly believe that money does not matter as long as they have each other? To raise him to be a good man? That was a naivety. Money ran the world and only the poor kept telling themselves otherwise. Parents' love won't feed a hungry child and that was a fact.

His parents died two years ago and Astarion haven’t visited their grave since that pathetic gathering he hesitated to call a funeral. He was convinced they didn’t deserve his visit. However, he often caught himself thinking about them lately. What would they think of his new job? What would they think about their son being a magistrate? They would be proud, Astarion was sure of it, but also, they would add that manual work is nothing to be ashamed off. And they called him naive.

Few cars passed under the court’s windows. Clumps of fog disappeared, uncovering the freezing mass of deep green water. Lights reflection faded. First steps of court employees resonated outside the door. In thudding march of oxfords and derbys, he recognized the high-pitched clacking of heels. That must be Octavia, he thought immediately. No other magistrate on this floor had woman assistant. Blond curls that appeared in the doors few moments later proved him right.

„Morning.“ She greeted him as she was shedding layers of coat, scarf and knitted shawl one by one, followed by thick mittens. She exhaled into her palms and rubbed them to bring her numbed fingers back to life. 

„So they were right with the predictions, for once. I’ve read it will be snowing this week.“ He said while going through the calendar at his desk. He seemed not to give Octavia much attention, his eyes focused on red circled dates, but secretly, he traced the curves of her hips as she was digging through new case files she brought from filing office. Those round lines stretching the fabric of her skirt, they almost begged to be squeezed.

She responded with silent nod. Octavia wasn’t talkative one and it annoyed Astarion beyond belief. For most of his life, the only fortune he had was his face, his charisma and the ability to sweet talk any woman even into things she wouldn’t herself want. To Astarion’s disbelief, Octavia was somehow resistant to his charm. She appeared so unapproachable he actually lowered himself to talk about weather with her.

„One appeal against parking ticket. Another one…. and another one…“ She counted. „All of them from that parking lot at Sundries.

He sighed. „Don’t tell me they printed passes with wrong dates again. Is it that hard to set the printing machine right?“

„It seems like it. I’ll take care of it.“ Octavia said and took decision forms from the shelf. 

As much for conversation, Astarion thought. Octavia was always doing a great job. She was assistant any magistrate or judge would want. Focused, practical, hard-working. He inherited her from the retired magistrate he replaced and she was the reason why he found his way around the new position so quickly. But she paid a little too much attention to the cases, almost none to him. 

He often caught himself thinking about her. He imagined himself rolling that skirt of hers up, slipping his hand under it, brushing the helm of her stockings with his fingertips, sliding a finger or two between her legs. She never mentioned any boyfriend and there was no ring, so a little office hookup wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it? But Octavia ignored any flirt attempt of his and it made Astarion wonder whether it’s purposeful or if she just doesn’t get it. 

The morning went just as any other. Post came at nine. Octavia made them coffee at ten. Astarion enjoyed his while reading Baldur’s Mouth Gazette. Octavia took a sip anytime she needed to return the carriage of her typewriter. It was half-empty and cold by twelve when Astarion usually went for a lunch. So far, she refused all invitations to join him. 

Once he was out of the sight, Octavia gave herself a pause too. She finished the coffee and lit herself a cigarette. She was a slow smoker, enjoying each drag she took, letting tobacco to sooth her nerves. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, working with Astarion was draining.  Although he wasn’t that nitpicking type who would reproach her for erroneous double space or simply different style of expression, and she knew those, his demeanor forced her to be on constant alert. One would say it is easy to ignore someone. Pretending she misheard his hitting and teasing, acting like she didn’t know about his stares he was so convinced that are inconspicuous. It was not. It was an act and she had to stay at the stage for too long periods of time.

Octavia threw the butt into an ashtray and lit herself another. Sometimes, she wanted to run away.  From everything. There was a tiny voice inside of her screaming, punching her innards, kicking and fighting. But she learned to ignore it. The last thing she wanted was going back home and this job secured that she didn’t have to. 

Astarion usually got back from lunch around one in the afternoon, but this time, it was a Mrs. Hanford from filing office who appeared at the door. 

„Octavia! I’m glad to see you, sweetie! Is magistrate Ancunín here?“ She asked, interrupting Octavia’s flow of thoughts. Two older women were working in the filing office. One insufferable shrew that Octavia couldn’t stand and this lovely lady with silver hair and voice always so cheerful. How they managed to sit together in the same office was a mystery.

„No, but he’ll be back anytime soon.“ Octavia said.

„This just came from the Tax Administration.“ Mrs. Hanford put a file accompanied by an official letter on Astarion’s desk. „They need a warrant to search some warehouse. The sooner, the better I suppose.“ She shrugged her shoulders.

„All right. Just leave it here, I’ll tell Mr. Ancunín it’s urgent.“

„Thank you, sweetie.“ She smiled. „But tell me, how are you doing?“

„Could be better, but I manage.“ To her own surprise, Octavia appreciated the care. Not so long ago, Mrs. Hanford found Octavia crying in bathroom and since then, she was casually checking on her, asking how she is from time to time. It scared Octavia at first. But when she couldn’t sense anything wrong in Mrs. Hanford’s intentions, she just let her do her mother hen job.

„If he’s pissing you off, just kick him right into the balls, girl!“

Octavia had no idea whether she was talking about Astarion or some Octavia’s alleged boyfriend. Clearly, Mrs. Hanford was from the generation that thought there was a man behind all the women's woes. „Don’t worry, I’ll do.“ 

Octavia’s answer earned Mrs. Hanford’s approving nod. „Mind giving me one, sweetie?“ She asked when Octavia tapped the burned tobacco from her cigarette away.

„Please, serve yourself.“ She offered her Camels.

Mrs. Hanford met Astarion at the door on her way out. Maybe it was just Octavia's imagination, but it was almost as if she subtly pursed her lips in a disgust when she passed him. 

Octavia crushed the only half smoked cigarette out. „Tax Administration needs some search warrant.“ She explained as Astarion could barely hide a surprise when he spot the file. ��I am not authorised to issue one.“

„Well, you are still authorised enough to draft one.“ He said. „Anyway I’ll take look at that. But you know, you didn’t have to stubbed it out, hm? I think it could be nice to have a cigarette together before digging back into it.“

Octavia stayed silent.

„I mean, it wounds me, really.“ He dramatically touched his chest, feigning hurt. „It's impossible to get you to lunch, let alone a drink after work. I though we were colleagues, maybe even friends and yet, here you are, having a smoking pause with Mrs. Hanford instead of me.“

She let out an exhausted sigh and get up to wash her mug. „Maybe I prefer less dramatical company.“ She mumbled. 

Octavia knew she should have stayed silent, ignoring him just as usual. Astarion could bend any word, twist the sense of whatever she said in no time and easily caught her in a loop of banter he confused with flirting. She preferred no to give him anything he could grab onto. 

„Well, than we can set the drama aside, can’t we? As well as our clothes while we are at it.“ He chuckled and stepped into her way. There was an uncomfortable glint of desire in his eyes. She stiffened for a moment but recoiled quickly as he reached out, his fingers brushing against her arm.

„Don’t you do this.“ Her features hardened. Yes, silence is golden… 

It was the first time he managed to squeeze a reaction out of her. Completely unfazed by her rebuke, Astarion grinned. „Oh come on, Octavia, don’t be like that. I haven’t even done much of thing.“

„And that’s for good.“ She spat out and left to find the furthest sink possible. Just kick him right into the balls, girl! Octavia never wished to do so more than now. But she also wanted to keep her job.

With Octavia out of sight, Astarion’s attention turned back to the warrant request. 

The information provided in the file suggested a large number of imported alcohol stored in one of the warehouses in the docks for which the customs weren't paid. The customs that amounted into a considerable sum. No wonder it made the tax watchdogs salivating, Astarion smirked. The case was pretty self-explanatory, really. But it didn’t seem to be enough to allow the tax officers to raid the warehouse and seize the stuff. Right to privacy applies even to commercial premises as well, after all. Was there enough evidence to start the administrative proceedings? Certainly. But to issue the warrant to let them in? Astarion didn’t think so. Not that he cared for constitutional rights of the whoever those bottles belonged to that much (there was only a legal entity mentioned), but he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea allowing the search of the warehouse only for it to be later found illegal. Fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine helped those otherwise guilty even in more serious cases.

As he went though the file, he doubted the sanity of people who chose the tax law to be their main area of practice. Financial law could be interesting. Sometimes. Shares, capital transactions, banking, monetary politics, that he thought might be entertaining. But taxes? Duties? Customs? It bored the soul out of his body. He yawned as he turned another page. There was an envelope covering the extract from the log book. That served him better than afternoon coffee, sending the curious shivers down his spine. 

Usually, envelopes in which post serving as an evidence came in were kept in the files, but this one was plain, with no description and most importantly, sealed. Astarion reached for the envelope, checking the doors. Octavia was still sulking somewhere, maybe chattering in the filing office. The letter knife sunk into the paper, gutting the envelope of its secrets. There was a letter together with pack of banknotes. God, Astarion gasped. His stomach felt suddenly heavier, his palms got sticky. But he shook the quiver of anxiety off, checking the doors once again. No signs of Octavia. He opened the letter:

Dear Judge Ancunín,

I deeply regret the retirement of your predecessor. However, I believe that your appointment maybe the beginning of significant change in the order established in Baldur’s Gate. 

Please accept my gift as a token of goodwill. Let this be also an opportunity for you to make me a little favour out of your friendship. I would appreciate it if a warrant requested could be issued. As soon as possible.

With the kindest regards,

your Friend.

There was no clear signature, of course it wasn’t. Instead, there was a scribble that looked like a crescent how would Picasso draw it or an aggressive try to write out a new pen. 

Astarion read the whole letter again, turning it up and down, even holding it against the window.  He felt ridiculous doing it. But there was nothing more to it. No mysterious message. Simply, it was just a polite side dish a to a main meal - the money. Astarion didn’t risk to count the exact sum, but just from the looks of it, it was a lot. Probably more than he ever earned a month. Even as a magistrate. 

As a steps echoed from the corridor, he quickly stuffed everything back and closed the envelope in a drawer. This time, he appreciated Octavia’s heels for completely different reasons. 

For the rest of the afternoon, Astarion was suspiciously quiet. Octavia didn’t have high hopes he actually realized his actions earlier were far behind the line of what was considered appropriate at the workplace (at least in her opinion), but whatever was the reason of his mouth being shut, she appreciated the silence. Fact that Astarion left earlier today was just a cherry on top. The only thing missing to perfection was a functioning heater.

Astarion managed to took the envelope out of his drawer without Octavia noticing anything. If it wasn’t stuffed with money and incriminating letter, he would never paid that much attention to the  stealthiness of his movements and his back wouldn’t get covered in fresh sweat anytime he overheard Octavia’s clacking and clicking stop. It was a second. Open the drawer, take out the envelope, put in the bag. But it felt like ages. 

Once this peculiar task was done, he put the coat on and rushed from the office, waving Octavia goodbye with a simple „Need to get out earlier today.“ She hummed something in return.

Astarion would swear all the eyes he passed by on his way to an exit saw straight trough him. Normally, he loved those little small talks with court staff, especially the judges, but this time, he avoided an eye contact with anyone he met. Just don’t talk to me, just don’t… At least, he had perfect knowledge of what shoes are currently the most worn at Lower City bureau.

The neoclassicist interior of the court building merged into blur of granite and tiles. He took the stairs by two, not stopping at the first floor to soak up the atmosphere of humongous hall covered by the glass ceiling, connecting three galleries lined with thick pillars. They called the hall a „pool“. This time, he preferred not to swim there. 

As he pushed the heavy door at the exit open, he expected anything. A police cordon, detectives hidden behind the pillars of the court’s portico, a car with masked men ready to make him a strainer. But only a freezing cold awaited him outside. It calmed him down. He could feel his heart rate dropping. A false picture of reality induced by piking cortisol and adrenalin vanished. Just a moment before, he believed someone - somehow - will take him straight to the jail. Contrary to the fact that he knew very well it doesn’t work like that. Now he was just an ordinary man heading home from work a little earlier. Just an ordinary man who will soon disappear in crowds in the Lower City’s streets. No one to care about. No one to pay special attention to. Just an ordinary man with a bribe in his bag. He smiled.

Astarion didn’t live far from the court. Few stops by the streetcar, but he could simply take a walk. He decided for the later. Being just one of the particles of the usual city rush soothed him. The anonymity provided him with the sense of safety. On his way, he was taking a quick looks into the storefront he usually ignored. Slowly, he started to think how could he spent the money. If he issues the warrant and takes it. He could use a new suit - tailor made, of course. Facemaker’s, preferably. As well as a fine pair of shoes. He could also spend an adventurous night in the most prominent bars and clubs in the city. He never has been in the House of Hope, the one where unimaginable sins became reality and social elite striped its golden platting, revealing itself just as dirty as anyone else. Or so the rumors were.

If he issues the warrant and takes the money. Yes, the pesky question of moral still needed to be resolved.

His thought were swinging back and forth, so he completely ignored one of his neighbours greeting him when he passed the post boxes on the ground floor of the building his apartment was located in. It gained him a nasty comment on the arrogant attitude of young people, but he ignored that too. Firstly, he wasn’t that young. Secondly, as if he cared. The arrogance might be overall considered a bad trait, but it shielded him from those who just wanted all the others to be as miserable as them. It takes a little arrogance to achieve something. And even more to achieve something big. He was proudly arrogant and had no plan to change it. 

His apartment was nothing like he wished it to be. He dreamed of a penthouse in one of the Upper City’s skyscrapers, furnished with modern, functional pieces made of dark, polished wood and decorated with lavish wallpapers rich in colours and patterns. His heart ached for one of those glass-top coffee tables from Miller’s catalogue. He often basked in imagination of himself standing high above the city, untouched by the ordinary life and dirt and misery of common folks. With a glass of vintage red. With a curves such as Octavia’s rising under the silken sheet in his bed, waiting for him. He deserved such a life, did he not? 

Instead, his apartment was quite simple. Plain. Tasteless. Old furniture that remembered the last tenant, not-well-maintained parquet floor, kitchen with terrible corn cob wallpaper. A kitsch.  But it was the court’s apartment, one of those rented out to judges and magistrates and therefore, he only had to pay the half of the rent. Something at least.

He threw the keys to the bowl next to the door and than fall into the armchair in the living room. Immediately, he reached for the envelope and began to count the money. He didn’t even put his coat off. Every other green paper that passed through his fingers only raised his curiosity. He counted it over and over to be sure, but finally he find out the sum to be three times his monthly salary plus something extra. God… He has never seen such a sum before. And yet, it was there. Right in front of him. Material. Real. Tempting. 

It was far more than he originally expected. More than he would need for new pieces of clothing and night spent in the city’s nightlife vortex. He could easily invite Octavia for a dinner at Yenna’s  Table or Chez Dekarios and secure her attention with some glamorous gift. Roses. Nice jewell. A little shopping spree. Anything a creature like her could dream of. No woman would refuse the invitation to Chez Dekarios, wouldn’t she? And Octavia, despite her bright mind and aloof facade, was just a woman. If she is resistant to his charm, if he can’t gain her interest naturally, he will buy it. Money open both, doors and legs. What if she’s just a little gold digger, so cleverly hidden behind her typewriter, awaiting the right opportunity to bag some of the court’s bigger fishes? Was she making all the fuss about his innocent proposals because she has him for a beggar?  She didn’t seem to be that type, but it would explain why she doesn’t care about him at all. He smirked and put the money back to the envelope, taking the letter once again.

In any way it wasn’t suggesting who was the sender. Astarion could only wonder who disguised himself with such a polite words. He had just a common knowledge of the Baldur’s Gate underworld, not much deeper than anyone else in the city. Mainly, it was based on rumours and exaggerated newspaper headlines. There were several (allegedly) criminal families pulling the strings and various groups of their puppets. Local gangs, dealers, traffickers, thieves, pimps - all of those were just an end of the thread going up to those who held real power. Could this be the case? Will he appear on the payroll of someone of the great and good of Baldur’s Gate? Maybe he just let his fantasy of leash. Anyone could be behind the letter in the end. In the moral equation he faced he could not, therefore, calculate on the question of whom he would piss off if he won’t decide as requested. The only variable was his morals, then. He felt trapped.

If he takes the money, it won’t be the first time he will do something morally disputable. He wasn’t new to the grey zone between socially acceptable and deplorable, not at all. But this time, he lacked the excuse that would hush his conscience.

When he was a child, he had to steal from time to time. Picking pockets, shoplift for food. His parents didn’t earned much and when the Great Depression stroke, what else could he do? It was a hunger that drove his eleven years old hands. How could anyone blame him? 

Later, during his studies, he struggled financially. Of course he did. No one supported him, so he had to support himself. Was he a terrible person just because he ingratiated himself with (female) classmates from wealthier families? Was it really a crime when he borrowed some money from them? Without their knowledge? Never repaying it back? Especially if they didn’t notice? No. He simply didn't born into the right family and so he deserved those little contributions from the luckier ones.

And now - did he have all he wanted? Not at all. Fact that he was assigned to the Lower City bureau was a enough of a proof. The whole justice was more or less corrupted, was it not? He won’t be any worse than any other judge or magistrate. They all did little favours to their friends and families. They all had their connections, helping hands that lifted them to their positions. Contrary to him. He had to compete with wealthier, luckier, those more blessed and he made it. He would be an idiot to refuse a giving hand when it reached to him. He deserved it.

After all, one did not become successful and wealthy by playing fair. Living a good life while remaining humble and honest was impossible, at least in this society. When he listened to his conscience, he heard his parents’ voices talking to him. But what did they get with their humbleness? Their honesty and modesty and whatever false values they believed in? Back pain. Rheumatism. Tendonitis. And how did society reward them for being such good people? The doctor kicked them out of his office because they couldn't pay.

People praised others for being good simply to reduce competition. Those who fell for the fairytale of being good were out of the game, no longer a threat to those who understood the system. Blinded by the constructed ideals, lambs like his parents were herded by the wolves. They led you to poverty and praised you for the suffering. And when you asked for help, they bit your hands off. The circle had closed.

As the anger was boiling inside of him, he realized he was sitting there fully clothed. Only the scarf was loosen, hanging sloppily around his sweaty neck. It was decided. He’ll take the money, he’ll issue the warrant. He had some discretion and he could come up with some arguments why it was justified. 

Astarion left his coat in the armchair and went to the bathroom to sprinkle his face with little bit of cold water. After that, he poured himself a glass of wine.

[paulmescalsnose]

earlier this year a girl in my department went on stress leave, and as a result the rest of us sat down with someone and talked about our issues with HR and management and how unsupported we feel and how toxic the workplace is.

and nothing has changed. in a department of seven, at least three of us are looking for new jobs, and at least two of us are also considering going on stress leave.

the first girl never came back from leave, by the way. she quit because management and HR were causing an unsafe work environment.

today I told my manager I was so stressed I’m on the verge of tears all the time and all she said was “but you should be proud that you’re working on the hardest file!”

I don’t know how much longer I can do this, but I’m really not in the financial position to leave. I hate everything so much.

[professorzombiesquirrel]

How to live in a toxic environment

A while back, I was in a toxic workplace situation. I couldn't afford to quit, but it was a miserable place to work: the viciousness, the cliques, the political gaming, it was chipping away at me, and I didn't know what to do.

I looked around at the people who had been there longer than me. Not the mean ones; not the ones who seemed to find joy in creating and maintaining this toxic situation, but the ones I respected. I wondered, "How has that person managed it? Why do they stay? Do they know something I don't?"

And in answer to that final question: those people, the ones who seemed to be genuinely good people living through a bad situation, they all seemed to do two things to make it through intact: one thing that was common amongst them and one that was unique to each individual.

The common thing? They stayed true to who they were. They didn't give up parts of themselves to "fit in" or to be a "good colleague," as we were often told to do. They weren't confrontational about it, but they also didn't hide who they were. They were unabashedly themselves.

And let me tell you, as a person just starting out, that was so good to see. I had often been told I needed to hide parts of myself to fit in and get ahead, and here these people were simply showing up as who they were.

The individual thing? Each of them figured out the best way through FOR THEM.

One of them, she found ways to engage with the people we served, but stayed out of the workplace culture as much as possible. She did her job--but she invested in the people we were serving rather than the ones we were trying to work alongside. She formed a community with the people we served, and it was a beautiful thing.

One of them was willing to be a part of the workplace culture, but ONLY DURING WORKING HOURS and not a minute more. She didn't do extra work to try to ingratiate herself or to further the "battles" that were raging. She did what she was paid to do and nothing more. And then she went home and spent time with her family and friends and left the job behind her.

Another one found ways to engage with the people she felt safe with in non-work activities: a reading group; a monthly luncheon. And at each of these activities, we weren't allowed to talk about the job or the people there.

I was so glad to be a part of the group she felt safe with because it taught me that kindness, camaraderie, and fun are always good for what ails you.

My workplace situation now is better, but far from perfect. However, I have good strategies for staying whole and making it through, and now more than ever, I'm going to lean on those in all aspects of my life:

I am not going to shy away from who I am. I am in a space where it is relatively safe for me to do that, and I know that that is a privilege--I don't take that for granted. But I am so tired of trying to fit in or go along with the flow so as not to create ripples. That was slowly destroying me, so now, I'm me and I don't apologize for it.

I set hard limits. Work hours are work hours. Non-work hours are non-work hours. I don't let work seep in when I'm off the clock if I can help it. But this also applies to other things. If I don't want to engage with social media or the news for a few days, then I'm not going to--and the people around me aren't allowed to try to give me "a little peek" or "tell me just one thing." This also means that if someone wants to engage me in a conversation I'm not comfortable with, I'm going to say no and disengage. [Amy Poehler has a great line in her autobiography: "No is the end of the conversation, not the beginning of a negotiation"]. Finally, this means if there are people in my life who are't good for me, who are negative, abusive, or otherwise hurtful, I'm going to cut them out or avoid them to the best of my abilities.

I make sure to stay connected to those people who give me joy, who make me feel love and happiness and I make sure they know how much I love them. This is all about my people. My best friend lives on the other side of the country and has a horrible work schedule, but we make sure to zoom every two or three weeks just to check in. We also send lots of silly text messages to each other just to say hi or hugs or hey did you hear about that comic book?!? My partner and I often end up sending emails and texts during the day--little things or even cute stories--just to check in and say "hey, I was thinking about you." Even the people I don't talk to as regularly, I try to remind them I love them: I send cheap little Halloween cards, Holiday cards, and Valentine cards to them. I send emails out of the blue just to say hi. And I say "I Love You" to all of them as much as possible--I don't want any of them to ever doubt that there is someone who prizes and adores them--someone for whom the world is better because they are in it. We all need to know that, so I make sure the people I love do.

Do any of these strategies make the big bads of the world go away? Not necessarily.

But they make me feel more resilient, grounded, and ready to face what's ahead. And that is important.

Moving forward, I am going to protect myself and love myself. And I am going to love the people around me--just flood them with it. And together, we're going to make it through this.

[knarme-stray]

I have a soft spot for Sephiroth's real mother, Lucrecia, because she's like... A victim of the most toxic workplace bullshit ever, fell for a scary sexy guy (Hojo 🥵 like I understand this COMPLETELY actually,), and actually...

...No, she didn't make the bravest choices. She also didn't make very "good" choices either. Nightmarish environment, bad choice after another, also abuse she had no control over...

And after everything?

She hides herself and can't face the world.

Like yeah, she was just somebody in the system. Not a hero because a lot of people are too scared and traumatized and frozen to be "brave", or maybe in extremely authoritarian environment many people will just live in survival mode. Like everyone else making that system roll, she contributed to its evils, she is guilty.

I know she wouldn't be one of the most hated FF7 characters if she was a guy so pls let me love this flawed tragic woman pls?

Like. Idk what redeeming qualities she even has. She's like, just not some great person but what if her potential just never had a chance? Guess what, deadbeat losers are some of my faves.

Like... Genesis is also a badly written mess and has said things that almost sound like a school shooter manifesto (honestly the most unsympathethic thing about him) and his value system seems pretty reduced to just personal revenge etc., instead of allying with Avalanche against Shinra etc. more interesting paths to take... And look, I'm also a Genesis fan... I used to be completely obsessed with him actually. Frame by frame tried to analyse every bit of his screentime and what hidden symbolisms about his relationship to the other characters I could find in it... Even if just reading into it too much. <\3 But yes we love this BPD-ridden greater than life drama queen.

Something can have crap writing but you can still like it... Honestly many of the spin-off characters are like that. I think many of my favorite characters in any media are either very underrepresented side characters, or ones with a really juicy good idea about them, yet a bad execution. (*coughs* Seph's besties. <3)

(coughs. shakes Kunsel violently because I love him)

Also if we don't count Org XIII from KH, Namine is one of my faves too (despite how I've loathed reducing female characters to this kind of role all my life, - Namine just has themes about her I find somberly relatable and she has a significant place in the KH AU fanon that exists in my head).

She feels like she's defined by someone else whose shadow she exists in (Kairi) and kind of... Leads this somber lonely existence of disconnection. In that game where those lesb- I mean Marluxia and Larxene are the main villains, Namine's only close people who even talk to her at all are these... Abusive mfrs. She idealizes and loves Sora whom she doesn't even really know, also gets mega rejected too.

Like bro. I project a major "traumatized autistic teen who's preyed on by the only people who talk to her and who loves this boy she doesn't even really know" LIKE. RELATABLE. POOR BABY. NAMINE IS SO INTERESTING AND DESERVES EVERYTHING ACTUALLY.

And that she's soooo frail. She doesn't get much chances to really punch back, just like Lucrecia. Ah, the turning knife in wounds that is getting 0 justice. Being too frozen to fight bcs PTSD is a beast like that. Etc. Etc.

Like. Neither of these characters is exactly some power fantasy. Claiming more agency is something that often remains a suffocated hope, as you know, learned helplessness gets.

That's such a human experience whether you like it or not.

Pls don't be butthurt about me calling Genesis badly written, it really is my opinion about many things I love and enjoy. I like things. Oh my god.

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace ep 20 - 21

I've consumed too many chinese dramas and novels not to expect that a triumphant general celebrated throughout the nation is gonna eventually end up headless. Emperors who rose to power by quelling a rebellion are not a big fan of competition.

But for now, Hua Fei is at the height of her power. She's not even needing to scheme & throw petulant tantrums much, which is unfortunately reducing her hottness quotient for me.

And with all of the toxicity.... Real sibling love, who truly seem to like and support each other? That's so nice for them fr. Amid all the dirt & layers of masks in the palace, it's a bit refreshing that Hua Fei and General Nian have each other's backs. Her family has been funding her to be glamorous in the palace and (from what we can tell) aren't hounding her & guilting her & implying she's worthless for not having a baby yet. Almost wholesome compared to the typical noble family members I see in dramas.

Ling Rong and Zhen Huan in their besties era. I don't ship them, but ok girls have a good time. 👌

Baby concubine in waiting Chun has such a strange life. Just hanging out in the palace, playing with the servants, but she's 16 now. danger 🚨danger 🚨

Such a brilliant move to juxtapose a domestic, charming scene of the emperor and Zhen Huan play-acting as a typical married couple with darling Chun'er bursting into the room for added cheer. And then cutting to still childish Chun being carried to the emperor's bed. Masterful followup to that sweet family-like scene that reveals the rot beneath. As childishly innocent and cossetted as she is... She is doomed to be just more meat for the machine.

Ep 22

Death flags right & left for my darling Hua Fei.

Prince Guo: "Unobtrusiveness and self-restraint is the way to survive in His Majesty's court."

If General Nian is as fantastic in battle as he is in digging his own grave, no wonder the whole nation has been kissing his ass.

It's opera night in the harem and none of these bitches knows how watch a drama. Timed comments ON but can't hold a candle to Viki posters. Girls, this is your first opportunity in 2 years to enjoy something that's not getting banged by a fugly monarch, poetry duels, or flower & tea appreciation. Maybe stop grandstanding and enjoy it?

Ep 23

PLAGUE !!!

I've watched The Tudors. I'm ready for shit to go down.

Oh look, my beloved Hua Fei is already scheming to infect her enemies. Honestly shocked that new baby momma what's her face hasn't been given toxic incense yet.

Ling Rong irriates the fuck out of me these days. 2 things that I can't stand: [1] UGH ambitious people in the workplace who don't put themselves out there and do the work to advance, but then are bitter & resentful when their proactive peers succeed (LR is so entitled, she wants to sit back and be rewarded; resents not having everything ZH has when her friend is grinding full-time to protect herself and their lil faction) [2] misrepresents friends' actions, interpreting everything in the light that they are using or mocking her, when the friend is just going about their day to day and isn't intending anything malicious.

Zhen Huan conveniently capturing & presenting key witness Liu Ben wasn't satisfying. I understand that, ok, maybe her runners could catch him now because there are limited places to avoid the plague. But it doesn't feel right. The first time in the drama that things felt too easy to escape a huge dilemma. Mei Zihuang has the plague! She's secluded and no doctors will see her! 😱 .... oh, ZH now a dozen episodes later happens to have found some flimsy evidence to release her. (seriously, she just brings in a villian to say stuff. he could be bribed? lying to protect a loved one? any number of things?) (this goes back to the whole theory, 'emperor never REALLY thought Mei'er was faking, he just didn't care and it was easier to go with it)

And then Hua Fei gets out of HER predicament also with hilarious convenience. Oh, it just so happens that her stooges found a plague cure? Right now? 🤔

[seeingivy]

THE NEWEST PART OF METHOD ACTING WAS SO GOOD YET IT IS SO BITTER SWEET TO ME😭😭😭😭 literally went from “omg y/n finally at peace” to “NOEOEHEIWEHIWWHJWWHWJB” at the ending….

putting that aside ur writing is geninuely so immersive and authentic and just aighwhwjwgsjsshjs u just get it

what im really curious about is eren’s pov during the time period between the rep comeback and the lucky ones interview because i have no idea what is going awn in that mind of his😀 i dont have a single clue on how we gon even get an eren redemption arc or a happy ending from this 😭😭😭

HELLO HELLO MY SWEET ANON! first and foremost - replying to you but also everyone who has sent me such kind, kind (and aggressive) words about the last chapter. I feel bad filling everyones feed with each individual ask (which idk why i feel bad this is my blog but I do I don't want to annoy my moots or my followers) so im gonna address MOST questions ive had with your ask <3 pls don't think I don't see and love + appreciate your words each and every individual person, bc they make me more and more motivated/excited to write

that being said, thank you SO SO MUCH for saying my work is immersive and authentic. this is such a harder write compared to roommates because rather than it being like roommates (which was literally just like fluff no plot romance) I feel like im trying really hard to pour more than JUST romance into this - fame/people pleasing, drugs/addition, female friendships, toxic men/workplaces/dynamics, etc. - and the fact that it's getting across and hitting for you and others makes my heart so so warm. I know it's a silly little fanfiction but it means a lot that people can feel the feels with me - triumphant when y/n gets to assert her boundary, heartbroken when marco dies, forgiving of eren.

especially on my lacy, oh lacy chapter - I was really feeling the depths of comparing myself to other girls and feeling so, like OBSESSED with this one girl who I just think is better that me that it fills me with resentment for her/me/how my brain works. I wrote it into that chapter because it was what i was feeling expecting people to hate on historia/her entire relationship with y/n and I almost cried when every single person was so like....loving of her, of their relationship and never once questioned why she felt that way. like wow, real. art is soothing sometimes. (I am not calling my fic about a 2d man art but you get what im trying to say)

that being said. I got fifty asks begging me to clarify/and or make a happy ending. GUYS I AM STILL THE GIRL WHO WROTE ROOMMATES I PROMISE YOU'RE GETTING A SWEET FLUFFY ENDING THEY ARE ENDING UP TOGETHER THEY ARE SOULMATES THEY ARE FISH TOGETHER.

on the topic of eren and his thought process - I thought hard of whether I wanted to make this a dual pov - more like roommates and decided against it. eren purposely (and sometimes with reason) withholds information from y/n. I have to emulate that for you as readers, but I promise that eren will tell his shit when he tells his shit. and not JUST in the period between reputation and the lucky ones, but all the way back at the start. we're talking met gala, we're talking their breakup, we're talking the reputation songs, the fights they had, and EVEN the interview. all in good time. baby boy is about to tell his truth. y/n makes dumb mistakes but so does he!!!

I hope that clarifies everyones questions and soothes your brains for now!

(and yes. y/n will still be in season four. im not a nutjob.)