#we all probably have some degree of mental health issues

[notagaslightingcat]

during these trying times (Ao3 is down for maintenance) i will be going through the five stages of grief, but stop at stage two - anger - and proceed to go batshit insane :3

[dr-spectre]

Splatoon 2 Callie Explained - (In my interpretation)

So in this blog post I wanna go over what is going on with Callie in Splatoon 2 because there's a lot of misinformation being spread around due to how unclear the events of Splatoon 2 were. I'm going to provide my own thoughts into how the Hypnoshades actually affect Callie and clear up what hypnosis actually does to a person, because a lot of people think that Callie was kidnapped and then mind controlled but its actually a lot more complicated than that. I've done a ton of painstaking research into this so if you would like some sources to what I'm saying then I'll be happy to provide it in the comments below when asked!

Okay so first off we need to establish one thing right off the bat, no, Callie was not kidnapped in the sense that she was snatched up by DJ Octavio and then brainwashed while she was kicking and screaming trying to stop him. The idea that Callie was snatched up randomly is simply not to true due to the fact that the OFFICAL Splatoon 2 relationship chart states that Callie was willing to hear out DJ Octavio and go with him. Why? Because if you look at Sunken Scroll 21 and 22 in Splatoon 2, it gives insight into Callie's declining mental health as she struggles to put on a happy face as she walks through a huge crowd of people, as well as the fact that she drew a squid with a sad face on it in Sunken Scroll 22 which is a very clear giveaway that she isn't doing well. Also keep in mind Marie was busy with her own solo thing too and Callie even states in the relationship chart that she's busy and lonely. It also explains why Callie doesn't experience any sort of trauma, turmoil or resentment after Splatoon 2 because well, she wasn't kidnapped and the shades were not forcibly put on her. (Also in Squid Sister Stories chapter 7 there's an artwork piece of Callie walking towards DJ Octavio's star mark so there's that too....)

Now I want to get into how hypnosis actually affects a person and what being hypnotized is actually like. Being hypnotized is described as having "heightened attention, increased focus and heightened suggestibility." You do not get put to sleep and become a puppet as popular media shows it to be, but instead you are hyper aware of what is going on around you. It's also said to be highly relaxing and can help with patients who struggle with anxiety and other mental issues, which might explain why Callie kept putting the shades back on, she enjoys wearing them to some degree as it helps her deal with the pain of being a celebrity, kind of like an addiction but unfortunately Splatoon 2 doesn't explore it at all and Marie (CALLIE'S OWN GOD DAMN COUSIN BTW!) jokes about it..... ugh...... at least she overcomes that addiction OFF SCREEN unfortunately....

Now that part about "suggestibility" is important to consider because contrary to popular belief, you don't lose awareness and memories while you are hypnotized and the person who is in charge of hypnotizing you, CANNOT force you to do anything that's against your wishes and you do NOT lose control of your behavior. Meaning that on some level Callie actually wanted to side with the Octarians because her life beforehand was shitty. The shades do not control Callie but instead put her in a hypnotic state that relaxes her and increases her attention and suggestibility.

For example, if DJ Octavio were to tell Callie to kill Marie instead of Agent 4, she would probably have a ton of hesitation about it and probably not follow his orders. Callie doesn't want to kill Marie, but she doesn't care or know about Agent 4 and that's why she had no problems with following DJ Octavio's suggestions. She also didn't try to attack Marie during the final boss when she was flying around and she just wants Marie to leave her alone because guess what, she's suffering from mental health issues!!!!!! And her relationship with Marie got worse and worse overtime as shown with the Squid Sister Stories.

If you were hypnotized and then the person responsible of your hypnotism handed you a weapon and told you to kill your best friend, you wouldn't do it because it's against your wishes (unless you secretly wanna kill your best friend for some reason....)

With all of this information laid out, it actually does make Splatoon 2's admittedly mid story a bit more interesting, it shows that Callie does have these dark traits and flaws about her, and the Hypnoshades bring out the worst in her. The angry, power hungry and harsh side to her, that was even built up from Splatoon 1. If you look at the dialogue from the Naughty vs. Nice, Early Bird vs. Night Owl and Callie vs. Marie Splatfests, you can see that Callie actually got upset at Marie multiple times due to her attitude.

It really does make Tidal Rush more emotional and powerful as a song if you really think about it. It's a clashing of two cousins whose relationship has been broken apart and Marie is desperately trying to reach out to Callie and fix what she has done. Maybe Marie blames herself for why Callie ran away and that's why she sounds like she's on the brink of tears in the song.... And it makes Spicey Calamari Inkantation more triumphant as a song too.

It does make me a bit angry that Nintendo doesn't wanna dive into these topics as well as Callie. She is flawed and has dark traits about her but, she doesn't try to change or grow from them in any significant or well written way, its like they forgot about it in Splatoon 3 which.... sucks man. I'm hoping we get a Side Order type deal with the Squid Sisters for Splatoon 4 and we dive deeper into the psyches of these girls, because what we have is really interesting but it lacks explanation and nuance and everyone keeps boiling it down to "welp Callie got kidnapped and mind controlled!" Which... its more complex than that... With Agent 3 and Marina it's for sure mind control and i would like to talk about them in a future blog but, with Callie? It's different and there's a lot of layers a lot of people tend to ignore because Splatoon 2's story is just... meh.

[liquidorcard]

Tw: Heavy topic discussion ahead.

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So I have suffered with suicidal ideation for the majority of my life. As long as I can remember-- even when I was a child to some extent.

Despite current awareness of mental health issues, honestly, I don't think we have as a society really resolved yet how to earnestly address the issue. I don't blame people for not knowing what to say to suicidal people or just defaulting to the whole "oh I'm sorry, you're not alone, blah blah blah" song and dance. I get they don't know what to say, but.

The issue with being always suicidal is that it's kinda a bitch to figure out how to just live with? You don't want to worry people, or emotionally burden them, you dont want them walking on eggshells around you forever because they think at any moment they could accidentally push you over the edge. Because the conversation around suicidal ideation is so focused on NOT being suicidal anymore, it functionally silences people in a well-meaning, but still harmful way.

Like, let ol' uncle Eldritch affirm for anyone reading this right now: it's OKAY to be suicidal. Not okay as in, indulge the urge. But suicidal ideation is a mental health concern like any other. It's not your fault, and stressing yourself out that you feel this way will do you no good. Accepting a feeling is not the same as acting on it.

For most people the feeling is temporary, but the reality is for some of us it's not. The feeling might be more intense sometimes than others, but it's okay if they're always there. Strange thing to say, I know, but you don't owe anyone happiness. You don't owe anyone self-contentment. Yes, we all want those things, but getting upset with yourself that you haven't achieved that beyond healthy degrees is a vicious cycle that will only make you more miserable.

There's a difference between treating negative emotions as an undesirable outcome, and treating them as if they're a mistake. As if they're not often enough a logical outcome to many of life's challenges, especially these days.

Counterintuitive, I know, but accepting that someday I might lose the battle with my own suicidal ideation probably saved my life at several low points. Something I've had to reaffirm within myself several times over my life. And something it's been very hard to get other people to understand.

The problem may be bad, but it's almost always the stigma that makes it dire.

I'm not going to pretend there isn't some degree of a grain of truth to the idea that some people use suicidal intent to get attention, but that's a gross and misleading oversimplification of the issue. Some people have no suicidal intent, but use it as a means of manipulating others. I'd say those types of people are rarer than you might imagine, but yes, they exist. I'd say the majority of people, especially the ones who express the thought over and over again, just don't know what to do with their feelings. They're looking for an outlet, an explanation, validation, solidarity-- something. They're looking to not feel so isolated anymore, having feelings they know they "shouldn't be having." As stated above, our society still doesn't accept the feelings as acceptable even if we've moved the dial on the topic, and they're feeling shame and frustration that they just can't quite move past that.

I don't want to speak for everyone but I do believe I'm very much not alone on this when I say the phrase "I want to die"/"I'm suicidal" with the same type of intent I say, "I want to sleep," or "I'm hungry." I'd rather be awake and full, but, I'm currently feeling compelled to satisfy the urge to go to bed or eat. I'd rather be alive, however, dying feels like a very tempting offer. Inconveniently, of course, that craving happens to have permanent results. Can't go back to living if/when I have enough spoons to keep going, boo.

That's a very confusing sensation to grapple with-- understanding your life is a finite resource you aren't going to be able to get back, but also, being fucking sick of it. It's hard to know what to do about that-- especially because, again, you aren't ALLOWED to feel that way apparently.

If that feeling can be fixed it should, but some of us don't have that luxury. Some of us are broken in a way you can patch up, but we can never be fully restored to a mint-like condition. We still have value, we still are useful and can be fully realized people, if there was only room for us to be taken as we are and not how people want us.

Outrageously irresponsible and fucked Lily had the balls to give advice on this, if that even has to be said. Rest assured, she's on my "To Haunt" list if I do end up offing myself (in Minecraft.)

[pumpkinsplots]

Writeblr Intro

Hello, writeblr! I finally caved and got tumblr, mostly because I love rambling about my wips and hearing other people ramble about theirs and all of that lovely stuff, so this seemed like a great platform to do that. With that being said, I plan on posting about my wips and ocs, as well as art related to those things, so if that interests you at all, I’d love to see you stick around. Also feel free to call me either Pumpkin or Maria, it’s entirely up to you!

About my writing

I’ve found that I really enjoy writing in a variety of genres, so hopefully at least one of my wips will tickle your fancy. Though I’d say a common thing for me is that I really like to world build, so my wips tend to be sci-fi, fantasy, or magical realism of some variety. Anything where I can put my own spin on the setting is something I’m bound to enjoy writing about.

I write in third person, usually with multiple povs, and I really enjoy character driven stories.

I often like to have a wide variety of ages in the cast, and if I had to pick a favorite trope it would be found family, so that’s usually present to some degree in my stuff.

Tonally, I always include light-hearted moments here and there, even if the wip is very bleak. It provides some levity, and I think it makes the painful stuff hit a lot harder. This is probably partially why I put some thought into each character’s sense of humor.

Most of my wips are geared towards older teens and adults, but I’ll get more into content warnings when I talk about each individually, because it really varies.

I’m one of those writers that kills off a lot of characters, so this is your warning not to get attached /j

I’m demisexual, so at least one character being on the ace spectrum is like a requirement for me at this point.

I’m a plantser, and pretty bad at staying motivated to actually finish first drafts.

About my wips

Falling Up

Falling Up is a sci-if story set in the future where Earth is a utopia where inhabitants experience little to no hardships throughout their lives. The deceased are replaced with AI created to replicate them, and everything is automated to the point where people no longer need to work to make a living. This lack of struggle results in dull, perfect lives and skewed morals. The people crave entertainment, even if it means making others suffer for it. Quasdom, a miniature man made planet initially intended to be used to separate deviants from the rest of the perfect society, is used as a catalyst for entertainment. The people of Quasdom believe that those on Earth are superior to them, and that Earth is a place where any wish can come true. This leads to the tourney, a death game between groups of ten on Quasdom, being viewed similarly to winning the lottery. The winning team gets to go to Earth, after all. Being chosen for the tourney is the luckiest thing that can happen to you. There’s no hard feelings between participants, death is completely painless, and the afterlife will welcome any participants to a better life than they previously had. There’s nothing to fear, so smile and put on a show.

A large cast and lots of character deaths

An exploration of why we get so attached to fictional characters, and how fiction can have an impact on reality

Probably going to be a trilogy

Content warnings include language, some unsettling themes, depictions of mental health issues, and generally things that are more psychological. Despite it being a death game, there’s no gore, like at all. The people on Earth may be desensitized, but they aren’t accustomed to seeing blood, so the tourney is designed with that in mind

Facade

Facade is set in a world where the living world and the spirit world coexist. Due to some actions by the main antagonist, about 20 years prior to the current story, spirits started getting aggressive and sort of going haywire. They possess any person they can, turning the individual into an uncontrollable killing machine. The best defense to this was the invention of a certain kind of mask that prevents possession, and masks quickly became widespread. Since there’s no known way to reverse spiritual possession, the only solution is to kill those that are unfortunate enough to meet that fate. A group led by an anonymous vigilante known as K9 seek to find a way to reverse possession. Many enemies are made along the way, and there are countless obstacles to face.

Its setting is based on Singapore and set in the 90s, though there are many creative liberties taken

The wip is currently pretty no plot just vibes

Themes about individuality vs equality

Content warnings include language and some sexual content

Facade: After Dark

While Facade is currently no plot just vibes, developing the characters led to me thinking of the plot for a prequel. Is it a self-indulgent novella about two of the characters I love? Yes, absolutely. In summary, it’s a romance novella about the the relationship of Leijing and Iris, and their struggles in navigating the wild world of Facade. They have vastly different upbringings and experiences, but their differences bring them together in more ways than one.

I have so much backstory for this pre-established couple and I couldn’t think of a good way to incorporate it into the main story without cutting a bunch of it, so boom it’s a prequel now

I’ve found that working on a wip that’s more low stakes and simple is really fun—I tend to get stressed about my more ambitious plots, so this wip is a great change of pace

Leijing is demisexual with little interest in anything sex related and Iris is an omnisexual sex worker, and the story explores how a world obsessed with all things sex can effect both more sex-negative and sex-positive people

Content warnings include language, explicit sexual content, and potentially triggering subject matters. This is my only wip where it’s strictly 18+!

Lights Out

Sunlight is the essence of life. Without it, the world would wither away. However, a dangerous new life form of unknown origin festers in the light. With long, elegant glimmering limbs, high intelligence, picturesque precision, and a craving for flesh, these organisms pose a major threat to humanity. But for some odd reason, these creatures refuse to step into any area where the sun doesn’t touch. Much of humanity takes to the shadows, building elaborate underground tunnels for civilizations and doing what humans do best—using their resources and ingenuity to adapt.

Has two protagonists that butt heads but start to develop a father daughter dynamic. A young adult girl who’s from the underground and unknowingly part of a cult, and an older man with one leg who’s so stubborn he’d rather fight and die than flee to the darkness

Lots of creepy cult imagery and themes about religious trauma

So much banter of course

Content warnings include language, disturbing imagery, and gore

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! Asks, comments, tag games, and messages are always appreciated, and I’d love to hear about your wips as well!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for leading a guy on an low-key manipulating his feelings? (🐺 so i can find it later)

trigger warnings for mental health issues, family death, and suicide mentions.

title is kiiinda dramatic, i know. and i should be clear that i know that what i did was definitely wrong to a degree, but idk how messed up it was.

for context: i (19 f) was freshly seventeen and had just returned to in person school for my senior year after doing my junior year online at home. the majority of my best and only friend had forgotten me almost entirely and abandoned me despite our texting throughout my online year. new social circles had formed in my absence and i had a very difficult time readjusting, especially because i had come out of isolation with worsened anxiety, depression, and lowkey suicidal idealization. to top it all off, my grandfather who i adored had just died. i was desperately lonely and at the lowest i had ever been mentally in my entire life. i say this all not to excuse my actions but to provide some context as to why i acted the way i did.

so i meet this guy (i think like 15-16?) who we'll call finn. finn is a year below me but we share an elective class. we were initially drawn to each other bc we were both the only alt/geeky kids in the room and hit it off really well. and at first things are going pretty good; we eat lunch together every day, share music, talk about our interests etc. normal friend stuff.

but here's the part where i'm probably ta: finn had told me earlier on that he's the type to catch feelings super easy, so i guess i should've expected it, but he tells me that he has a crush on me. not directly though--he starts talking about this girl that he has feelings for but doesn't have the courage to confess to. and the first time he brought it up i didn't realize it was me and ofc tried to hype him up so he could confess and all that. but by the second conversation we have about it, it dawns on me that he's definitely talking about me. and i'm like "ah fuck," because the last person i wanted it to be was me--i'm mostly into girls, and also saw finn as a little brother more than anything else. but i keep hyping him up anyways saying stuff like "oh c'mon the worst she can do is say no! and even then you can at least move on with closure!"

so he takes my advice and confesses to me over text. i turn him down as politely as i can. which is where this whole thing should've ended tbh. but it didn't. his confession (even though it was over text) really endeared me and made me feel appreciated and beautiful in a way i never had been before. i'm not conventionally attractive + a plus size girl, and had never had anyone confess to me before, let alone say something as sincere and sweet as finn did to me. i was always the girl guys dared each other to ask out as a joke, yknow? it felt nice to know that someone saw me as desirable. again, this doesn't excuse my actions or justify them. just context.

so i decide that even though i know i'm not going to pursue anything with finn, i don't want him to lose interest in me either. so i start acting like i might be into him. tell him certain outfits make him look cute, go on and on about how much i love his hair (he really did have nice hair tbh), lean in a little closer when we talked, and constantly reassure him that he'd get a gf soon because good-looking, sweet and funny guys like him don't stay single for long.

he definitely notices bc he (again over text) asks if it's ok to be more physical when we interact. like can he hold my hand if we walk down the hall or whatever. this is definitely where i should've stopped, but i didn't. i kept up the pseudo-flirting bullshit.

and then he confesses (you guessed it! over text) for a second time, insisting that he really thinks that i like him back now. i tell him i don't know what he's talking about but that i'm happy to keep being friends with him. again, i don't stop the flirting-that's-not-quite-flirting.

this continues all the way until the end of the year. he tells me before i graduate that he really cares for me and doesn't want to lose touch after i leave. i promise him we won't. at this point i'd realized the gravity of my actions and had come to regret the way i treated finn, and decided the best course of action was to let our friendship fizzle out after i graduate. so i stop responding as frequently to him, he eventually stops reaching out until finally we lost contact and i delete his number.

i know that what happened was kinda fucked up, but how bad of a fuck up was this tumblr?

(secondary question: is this something that would've had a lasting impact on him and his view of relationships? i hope it isn't. i hope he forgot about me quickly. i hope he's doing better and has found someone who actually likes him.)

What are these acronyms?

[safety-pin-punk]

A Joint Message With @polyamorouspunk

Dear Punks,

We are gathered here today… again… to talk about a shared view of the punk culture specifically in the tumblr bubble that we share between ourselves and also with so many of you.

To be frank, we get a lot of asks, which is a joy for both of us, and we love answering your questions with our opinions, other’s opinions, bouncing things off each other and our other mutuals, and directing you to anything that you might find helpful in your inquires. However, as we have stated in our other, previous letter, from which this was literally copy-pasted word-for-word verbatim, we are not, nor do we believe that there is a “perfect” punk.

Every punk is going to have different opinions. Someone else having different opinions than you, than us, than each other, doesn’t make them a “bad person”. It doesn’t make them “not punk”. And honestly, sometimes it feels like people worry that if they DO have different opinions that go against the masses, they will be crucified, which… yeah, honestly, is true, you will be. There’s going to be opinions from us you probably wouldn’t like, because they don’t “go with the masses”, but… isn’t the point of punk culture to think critically for yourself instead of just emptily echoing the words of others to voice a shared and yet unattainable promise of some sort of utopia? 

At the core of punk both on and offline is forming your own opinions based on critical thinking, learning from others, and learning from your own life experiences. And more so recently than in the past, it feels like these things are being forgotten and left behind. To be quite frank, it’s tiring to see people grab onto a belief or way of thinking without fully understanding it, why they believe it, and especially not taking time to consider why the otherside of an argument may have some validity to it. And sure, to a degree, this is expected on the internet. But currently, our online scene seems to be full of people who are ready to jump at each other and anyone who dares to share an opinion that isn’t the popular one. And to a further extent, people seem to have forgotten that gray areas exist, and most issues are not a black and white matter.

This, among other things, has led to some feelings of inauthenticity, burnout, hesitation, frustration, lack of interest in engaging with the community as we once did, etc. But there are many, many other factors as well offline in our personal lives.

Key is working as a chemist and a DJ while balancing a personal life, a relationship, helping her family, and exploring new hobbies. While also trying to navigate buying a house. So she doesn’t devote as much time as she used to to Tumblr at the moment.

Punk is raising a kitten, trying to work on their mental health, and working a lot more hours than they normally would, leaving them with not as much time as they would previously spend on tumblr making content.

Another thing that we are both dealing with is trying to live up to the expectations put on us. Honestly, the closest Punk came to acting like they expect people on here see them led to them being really unhappy, and they had to take a step back from IDing with “Punk” at all, as it was becoming unhealthy.

For Key, she has always tried to make it a point that there is so much more to her than just being a punk, but when running a punk blog, people tend to expect you to fall into a specific set of likes and dislikes that really don’t align with her as a person. This is part of the reason she has taken some time off focusing on her punk blog, to instead work on embracing some other parts of herself.

In conclusion,

We wanted to point out and acknowledge why we may seem not as active at the moment, while also addressing something that we both see as a major issue in our shared online space. While we take the time we need to refresh, recover, and work on ourselves, we ask that you all do the same. Take time to really think about what you believe and why. Consider other points of view, and not just if they are right or wrong. See if you can figure out why people believe something different from you. But most importantly, remember to stay true to who you are and don’t allow yourself to be another cog in a machine.

[haven-of-dusk]

Thoughts/theories/predictions/ideas/possible plotlines/etc. for S8

I thought I would compile these so I don't create seven or eight posts in a flurry.

Bobby/Athena: Some type of tandem storyline as part of Bobby reclaiming the 118 from Gerrard's grip where he and Athena uncover a corruption scandal in the LAFD tying to Councilwoman Ortiz, Gerrard (obviously) and others. If more plotline is needed for them after that (if it wraps up by the midseason finale for example) then I would like seeing Bobby's health issues worsen bit by bit and him struggle to be honest with the rest of the team about that. Related to that plot, perhaps have Athena learn from Harry that Michael's cancer resurfaced with a vengeance and claimed his life (it's not like we're getting Michael back on the show anytime soon considering the actor's behavior), which compiles with learning about Bobby's health and starting to worry she'll lose him too. Plus both of them spending more time with Harry.

Hen: In addition to participating in Bobby and Athena's plotline of uncovering corruption and taking down Ortiz, I'd love to see Hen become more comfortable with leadership around the 118, especially in response to Gerrard. Perhaps have something happen in the field where Hen contradicts Gerrard's orders and the rest of the team (beyond even just our main cast, the whole rest of the team) follows her orders instead of his. And subsequently when he tries to punish her, say, by trying to make her scrub the rigs by herself, he finds the entire group cleaning together, chatting, and having fun (Hen didn't ask them to help, they just did so of their own volition) Despite being enraged, Gerrard struggles to find a way to punish them since it's not like he can fire the whole house, and any punishment he tries they find a way to circumvent, with Hen leading the charge. Basically she gets to be the ringleader of the 118's internal war with Gerrard. And along the way we get more Henren home stuff and building on the connection with Mara.

Chimney: WHERE THE HELL WAS ALBERT?! I would not at all mind Chimney having an arc where he realizes he hasn't heard from Albert in a while and ends up decrypting where Albert ended up (could be as malicious or innocent as they want, anything from Albert deciding to join an Amish community temporarily while traveling the country and not having a phone while there to straight up human trafficking. Take your pic, writers). Outside of that, I want more of Chimney getting to be the Dad he never had. More of him and Jee-Yun in general. Along the way, maybe have Gerrard's treatment trigger Chimney? Situations Gerrard puts him in drag up Chimney's trauma about Kevin, something like that.

Maddie: I don't really know what I want for Maddie per se, outside of I wouldn't mind this season being her turn to not have trauma or pain. Kind of the way her brother got off easy this season. See more of her interactions with everyone, give her the occasional intense dispatch call to show off her skills, show her being happy and domestic with Chimney and Jee-Yun, all that good stuff. If we need to give her a full plotline, perhaps she could get involved if something were to happen between Buck and their parents (we'll talk about that in a sec in his section), or be a rallying point for the other plotlines whenever they need her help, or, if we wanted to go far afield from her usual stuff, perhaps have her express interest in returning to the medical field to some degree, maybe even thinking about trying to be a paramedic? Idk, I love Maddie, but I'm not certain what to do with her character at the moment outside of just letting her be happy, since she probably got the least amount of setup from S7.

Buck: What I most want from Buck, at least in the first half of the season, is to focus on how his bisexuality affects him and his mental health and let him continue to explore those emotions, perhaps with conversations with Hen, Josh, Karen, etc. As the season continues, he realizes his relationship with Tommy has...stagnated, they go on dates, they hang out occasionally, but there's just not much energy to the proceedings, so Buck thinks maybe that means it's time to propose. (This may not be going where you think it's going). So he has an episode where he goes around to Henren, Bathena, Madney, asking all of his married friends basically how they knew they wanted to get married, and while they give different, unique answers, the general takeaway is that you shouldn't feel you have to marry someone, but that you want to. That they are your forever person. And the episode ends with Buck going to look at rings...and deciding not to buy one, leaving the store looking a bit conflicted. Within a couple episodes of that, he and Tommy break up. (I would probably want it to be amicable in this scenario, to demonstrate Buck making the mature decision that he didn't have anything against Tommy, he just wasn't his forever person, but if there had to be some drama there, Tommy making a nasty comment after Buck says he wants to break up to reassure Buck's decision and leave him with no regrets. Then after that...give Buck time to realize that Tommy was, in a lot of ways, store-brand Eddie. But Buck doesn't like Eddie, right? I mean he likes him, but he doesn't like him, right? (Spoiler alert, he does)

Eddie/Chris: The first half of the season needs to be Eddie in therapy leading to Chris' return, though I would love for Chris' choice to be...borderline untethered from Eddie's plotline. Not in the way that it his absence then subsequent return has no effect on Eddie, but I think it would be good for Chris' character to have him converse with Eddie's parents, family, etc, and have him realize on his own what his father has been through and the extent to which Eddie loves him, and then the talk with Eddie is the final piece of the puzzle, not the only piece of the puzzle, if that makes sense. And I also think it's crucial that Eddie not be "cured" when Chris returns. He's still working on himself, he's still healing, but Chris is ready to be back with him and stay with him. Building on that, I think it'd be powerful for Chris to be the one to force Eddie to confront the idealized version of Shannon he's built up in his head. Even if it happens indirectly through something Chris says, it'd be powerful for them to start healing that wound together. Then once Chris is back in LA (by the second half of the season at the latest), part of Eddie's therapy arc involves him realizing piece by piece how much he's pushed the past few seasons' girlfriends away, and why, and perhaps even he runs into Ana again and finds out she has a fiancé, and they chat about finding love like that. Along the way have Eddie talk to Athena for sure, since for some reason they haven't really interacted despite her being a pretty perfect person to talk about lost loves (Bobby too, but he and Eddie have talked more than once). But all this forces Eddie to confront who he is, who he's always been, what he's been pushing down and pushing away for years, and when that arc collides with Buck realizing his feelings, the season ends with the big Buddie canonization.

I realize I went into more detail with Buck and Eddie than the others, but part of that is down to mixing their personal arcs with the 'relationship' arc which could honestly be its own section. And possibly should have been.

Every section here is compressed anyway, but part of this post's purpose is to be an organizer for my thoughts that I can add to and expand upon as more come during this hiatus (as relatively brief as it is, it will probably continue to get more and more brutal)

I can also obviously expound on something if someone wants me to...though I know that's unlikely.

[arrayoflightarchives]

Array of Light Archives Intro

We are the Array of Light Archives! A very silly system that mostly just shit posts but we can occasionally be v funny and/or relatable if that's ur cup of tea :3

Pls feel free to read more, there will be an general info section and then more detailed information past the cut

It will probably be a lot as we ramble but there are key points highlighted in pink

General Info

-–— System Name: Array of Light Archives

-–— Collective Name: Kris or (sometimes) Array

-–— Collective Prns: He/Him

-–— Collective Identity: Trans = Bi = Aspec

-–— Body Age: 18

-–— Collective Interests: Bears in Trees ¦ Haikyuu, Sasaki to Miyano + other anime/manga ¦ Crochet ¦ Good Omens ¦ Bujo ¦ Marauders ¦ + a number of other things

Boundaries

DNI

General dni of bigotry, pro-ship, maps etc -> bigorty I'm meaning homophobia, transphobia, ablesim etc - basic dni shit

Endos + Pro-endo (mostly alright with endo-neutral, but more comfortable w/ those leaning more towards anti)

NSFW blogs

Fake claimers

Antis (anti things like xenogenders, neopronouns, furries, therians, alter humans and other kin etc, if ur anti those things dni)

Radqueers and Trans-ID

Syscourse specific blogs

Pro-Isreal stance

Other Boundaries

We don't mind some discussion of syscourse but that's not what the blog is abt so pls don't bring it too much here

Not mdni but just, we are legally an adult so pls try not to interact too much (one of interactions are fine) if ur under the age of 14/15 cause it feels weird to us sorry

We are traumagenic + mentally ill and therefore have triggers. We won't share them but if smt does trigger us, then it will be deleted sorry

Although we're a v punk collective, pls try not too bring extreme politics here

Pls don't dm us unless ur a mutual or have asked and we have given permission to dm before hand :3

Any questions abt dni/boundaries then feel free to drop an ask!!

Other Sys Info

We are a traumagenic OSDD system who have varying degrees of amnesia

We are autistic and adhd and have a history of associated mental health issues

We also have OCD and Emetophobia although that won't come up much

We are brainmade heavy although we still have many fictives from a variety of different sources

Feel free to ask any questions about the system or alters just know we might not want to answer - but most of the time we love talking about our system

Blog Info

General

We are neurodivergent so we will probably post abt that alongside our other stuff

This blog is probably abt half fandom posting, about 40% system posting and the last 10% is live logging or other shit like thoughts + opinions

Although that could honestly just change depending on frequent fronters

Carrd: (it's got some details but most of it is on here anyways but go have a look if you want)

Sideblogs

This will probably continue to grow -> they're all just alters personal blogs

@its-krisscross-applesauce -> 🐝

@omi-omi-says -> 🍙

@indis-vines -> 🌿

@rhye-bread -> 💯

Alter Info

@torii-ii -> 🖥️

@seb-lowe-loml -> 🌀

Hosts:

¦ Omi - He/Him - 23 - host and (angry) protector - sign off: 🍙

¦ Kris - He/Him - 17 - co-host and online social mask - sign off: 🐝

Other blog frequents:

¦ Kristian - He/Him - 38-40 - protector - sign off: 🐻

¦ Indi - She/They - 28 - caretaker - sign off: 🌿

¦ Rhyland - Xe/Fae/He/They - 16 - Symptom Holder - sign off: 💯

¦ Daisy - They/She - 16 - Social caretaker - sign off: 🌼

¦ Angel - Angel/Any - ageless - Gatekeeper - sign off: 🪐

¦ Dylan - He/Him - 17/18 - Protector + Academic - sign off: 🌀

Other sign offs you might see:

❓-> blurry or unsure of who's fronting

🩷 -> Liz || 🐜 -> Daniel || 🪨 -> Kiri || 🏐 -> Kenma || 🍊 -> Caiden || 🌱 -> Charlie || 📖 -> Elise || 🩹 -> Ghost || 📎 -> Alec || 🍷-> Mara || 🖥️ -> Tori

There are more people in our system and they will be added if they post anything but for now this is the list

If they have or make intro posts, they will be hyperlinked to their names so feel free to check them out but those will only happen if they decide to make one

We also have quite a few littles and they most likely will not be on here unless it is deemed okay by their protector

[polyamorouspunk]

A Joint Message With @safety-pin-punk

Dear Punks,

We are gathered here today… again… to talk about a shared view of the punk culture specifically in the tumblr bubble that we share between ourselves and also with so many of you.

To be frank, we get a lot of asks, which is a joy for both of us, and we love answering your questions with our opinions, other’s opinions, bouncing things off each other and our other mutuals, and directing you to anything that you might find helpful in your inquires. However, as we have stated in our other, previous letter, from which this was literally copy-pasted word-for-word verbatim, we are not, nor do we believe that there is a “perfect” punk.

Every punk is going to have different opinions. Someone else having different opinions than you, than us, than each other, doesn’t make them a “bad person”. It doesn’t make them “not punk”. And honestly, sometimes it feels like people worry that if they DO have different opinions that go against the masses, they will be crucified, which… yeah, honestly, is true, you will be. There’s going to be opinions from us you probably wouldn’t like, because they don’t “go with the masses”, but… isn’t the point of punk culture to think critically for yourself instead of just emptily echoing the words of others to voice a shared and yet unattainable promise of some sort of utopia? 

At the core of punk both on and offline is forming your own opinions based on critical thinking, learning from others, and learning from your own life experiences. And more so recently than in the past, it feels like these things are being forgotten and left behind. To be quite frank, it’s tiring to see people grab onto a belief or way of thinking without fully understanding it, why they believe it, and especially not taking time to consider why the otherside of an argument may have some validity to it. And sure, to a degree, this is expected on the internet. But currently, our online scene seems to be full of people who are ready to jump at each other and anyone who dares to share an opinion that isn’t the popular one. And to a further extent, people seem to have forgotten that gray areas exist, and most issues are not a black and white matter.

This, among other things, has led to some feelings of inauthenticity, burnout, hesitation, frustration, lack of interest in engaging with the community as we once did, etc. But there are many, many other factors as well offline in our personal lives.

Key is working as a chemist and a DJ while balancing a personal life, a relationship, helping her family, and exploring new hobbies. While also trying to navigate buying a house. So she doesn’t devote as much time as she used to to Tumblr at the moment.

Punk is raising a kitten, trying to work on their mental health, and working a lot more hours than they normally would, leaving them with not as much time as they would previously spend on tumblr making content.

Another thing that we are both dealing with is trying to live up to the expectations put on us. Honestly, the closest Punk came to acting like they expect people on here see them led to them being really unhappy, and they had to take a step back from IDing with “Punk” at all, as it was becoming unhealthy.

For Key, she has always tried to make it a point that there is so much more to her than just being a punk, but when running a punk blog, people tend to expect you to fall into a specific set of likes and dislikes that really don’t align with her as a person. This is part of the reason she has taken some time off focusing on her punk blog, to instead work on embracing some other parts of herself.

In conclusion, We wanted to point out and acknowledge why we may seem not as active at the moment, while also addressing something that we both see as a major issue in our shared online space. While we take the time we need to refresh, recover, and work on ourselves, we ask that you all do the same. Take time to really think about what you believe and why. Consider other points of view, and not just if they are right or wrong. See if you can figure out why people believe something different from you. But most importantly, remember to stay true to who you are and don’t allow yourself to be another cog in a machine.

[aritany]

what's the origin story for dgdss? if you don't mind 🥺

oho! well. as it happens, i love telling this story.

if you want to know how my childhood best friend writing a short story about me ended up leading to me getting a big 5 book deal, read on.

tw for reference to self harm and some...... unpleasant commentary (not mine) about it later on, folks.

so.

i was homeschooled until my very last year of high school (yes, like mean girls, except my mean girl dominated the first 15 years of my life and that last year was just blissfully chill) and like many homeschooled children, i was a part of a co-op.

cool, right? it's like School Lite™ where you put a group of feral children in a classroom, except you're all varying ages and grade levels, and also, nobody in the room is an accredited teacher, and nobody seems to have an issue with this.

my mom and her mom were best friends, and we were born around the same time, so naturally, we were best friends too from birth, and we were part of the same co-op all through my elementary and junior high school years.

anyway. i won't air all of the dirty laundry regarding our early friendship, because the whole book deal thing doesn't touch it, and i also think there's no need to be pointing out the behaviour of an Actual Child in retrospect. all you need to know is that we were best friends, our relationship was fraught, and by the time we hit 12-13 it was to the degree that people started telling me, hey man, this is Very Strange Behaviour and You Might Be A Victim, and i had to go do some introspection.

the introspection led to the general conclusion oh shit, but we stayed friends, because obviously. when you're 13, breaking up with a best friend is literally The End of the world, and anyway, there was a lot of good in there too, right?

right?

anyway, things took a turn when we were about 14. i struggled heavily with mental illness and self harm as a closeted religious teenager (who'da thunk?) and i confided in her about a small fraction of what was going on, because she was my best friend. i didn't tell her details, because even then i knew what i was experiencing was heavier than was probably appropriate to burden another kid with (and i stand by it!), but she knew the gist.

several Tense moments resulted, one of which was the day she pointed out self harm scarring in front of other people and asked me what happened, ran away, and refused to talk further about it, so i had to talk to her mom, who told me i should apologize to her, considering my mental health struggle had been so difficult... for her.

yeah, you know the type of people we're dealing with, here.

she was determined to undermine me in front of our mutual friends. anything to make me look worse, in one way or another. anything to step just a little higher. if i was interested in something, here's a public dissertation on why it's a dumb thing to be interested in. if i had a crush, forget keeping it a secret, and forget the notion that it's normal, because it's not, it's stupid, and shallow to have a crush in the first place. if we had a similar interest, here's a dressing down about how all i ever do is steal the things she likes (even if i liked them first).

needless to say, by the time the whole deal with the short story is going down a few short years later, we're on the rocks.

let me set the scene. we hadn't seen each other in several months, due to the On The Rocks of it all, and were meeting up for coffee while our moms were also getting coffee. hashtag classic homeschooled behavior, etc.

we're catching up, and she tells me she needs to apologize for something. i am, as you might imagine, agog, considering the rarity of apologies from this girl. she tells me she wrote a short story and submitted it to her university journal to be published, and that in hindsight she thinks she should have asked for my permission first.

i am, obviously, suspicious. to her credit, she gives it to me to read through and then leaves to go do christmas shopping. it's a muddy-ish faux-deep piece about a narrator who has a best friend struggling with mental illness and self harm.

(oh, you might say. to which i say, yeeeeah.)

in the story, the narrator depicts the struggle of trying to care about somebody who is in pain, referring to the best friend as 'cariad' the whole way through, which is just so weird i'm not even going to touch on it. google it if you'd like. the line that i still remember (and will probably remember until the day i die) is the one where she describes her cariad as feeling the need to use a razor as a microphone.

i honestly don't recall what i said when she eventually came back, but i contained all of the aggression of a piece of pocket lint at the time, so i imagine it was along the lines of oh. yeah, okay. [insert image of the saddest wettest cat you've ever seen]

i never saw her again. we went our separate ways, and that was that. we never talked about it.

(the one upside of it was that my mom, with whom i have a Notoriously Contentious relationship, was outraged on my behalf. that was the first (in many years) and last (ever) time we were on the same side of a battle, so, you know. silver linings.)

but the real indignity of it to me was that my friend never really knew. i never really told her about what was happening in my head. she never knew why i was hurting myself, or how bad it got, because i did everything i could to keep that to myself, and at the end of the day, she thought it was all for attention to the degree she wrote a transparently biographical account of it and chose razor as a microphone as a phrase on purpose.

dead girls started as a way to process the complicated feelings i had about that friendship and then obviously ultimately became a whole different creature in the process. i wanted to write about how it felt to go through that never having had another close friendship to compare it to, and how confusing and nauseating it was to have other people point out shitty behaviour.

it became about healing when you can't get closure. how do you move on when you'll never know why somebody hurt you?

nothing that happens in the book is based on real life events between us, partly because i'm not a hypocrite, and partly because if your work can be traced back to your personal experiences, perhaps you should do what you can to be kind.

'my julia,' as i like to call her (she is not named julia, because, oh my god) is nothing like julia hoskins in appearance or general personality. but the way she made me feel? oh, that's all there. nora feels it the way i felt it.

i wrote dead girls back in 2020, and got agented with it in 3 weeks of sending my first query. we got a book deal for it with a penguin random house imprint 1 year later to the day, and next week it's going to be out in the world, and i'm not going to lie, it feels really damn good.

also, her short story got rejected by her university, because it was bad. so you might lose some, but you win some, too.

[inkywarden]

This is a long one (fr sorry in advance) but it seems I can't quite put this out of my mind. I've never really listened to One Direction, even if I as a now 32 year old, probably was in the main target audience. I never got the hype, or much more likely, I never attempted to get the hype. I remember seeing them everywhere, and since I do have eyes, I noticed they were good looking boys. I also remember (silently mind you, I was much too edgy for 1D at this point) quickly finding my fav. He looked kind, he had a nice laugh and kind eyes. He was gorgeous, with the kind of smile I fear I will never see again. Tbh I have gone until last week without listening to, or even thinking much about 1d since. I do remember him though, Liam. I've seen him in the news, on social media, and again since I do have eyes, I noticed how the boy with the beautiful smile turned in to a very, very (like extremly??? hello?) handsome man. A man who still had the most genuine, contagious smile. A smile that always spread to his eyes. That was pretty much it for my knowledge of this band, and this man, until last week.

I saw it in the news, and it made no sense to me. How did we go from there to here? I felt.. something, still unsure what exactly. I later saw my old university post a memorial type post about him on facebook. My old university being the University of Wolverhampton, where I graduated as an illustrator in 2015. That's two things, two coincidences that weirdly made me feel more connected to this stranger. The unexplained, undefined feelings I was having suddenly felt heavier. This is when I hyperfixated and consumed just about everything there is to consume about this band, and this man. I'm still not a 1D fan, but I can now, after all these years say I get it. I've seen and read so much about this man and his life now, ups and downs. In the end, tragically, it seemed to be most of the latter in later years.

Most notably, and this actually broke my heart, I noticed how that genuine, beautiful smile that used to spread across his entire face, at some point stopped reaching his eyes. This is sad, it is tragic, and it is infuriating.

The time leading up to, and the aftermath both - the takes i'm seeing out here is wild and lacking in nuance. It feels like everything always is weighed in extremes, and it is neither fair or realistic. I dont know if I feel this way due to my own personal experiences and struggles with mental health, substance and/or alcohol abuse, or if its because this is the field I am soon graduating (career change dw) to work in, and I see many of these issues close up daily. These issues are things I would argue always goes hand in hand, and it is a never a choice one makes. It is a disease. I will never have anything in common with internet people today, and I will never understand this. Whatever the reasons. I will not speculate further. What I choose to believe in and live by is whatever the circumstance, people suffering from these issues deserve some grace. It is hard, constantly, and every day. No one chooses to stay in this illness, and even if they do manage to get out, it is almost impossible to stay out.

Whatever people have done, that is still just an aspect of a whole. A single line on a piece of paper, a small piece of a bigger, much more complex picture. We are more than the worst thing we have ever done. I have to believe this, both for my own sake and for the sake of others. Life is not black and white, it exists in shades of grey.

I am confused about the range of feelings i've experienced over this, and I'm still unsure why I'm affected to this degree but here we are.

I am sad, I am frustrated, I am disappointed and I am angry. Most of all my heart breaks for Liam, who never got the chance to get better, heal, and find his smile again. I also feel actual despair at the thought of this man, that young boy, passing away thinking the world hates him. There's no fixing that now. He is gone. Please, I beg you to be kinder next time. Show some compassion. Give some grace, be kind or at the very least be quiet.

I'm not even sure why I felt the need to post this, as I mentioned before I never had a horse in this race. The only opinion I ever settled on before this last week was that if I, in an alternate universe was a Directioner, I would be a Liam girly. It appears, after all these years, I still am. I dont know what comes when life ends, but I hope you find your smile again. Whatever else, you deserved so much more than this. You were a complex piece, but still so, so beautiful.

You meant so much to so many, and I wish you could have known that in the end.

Rest in peace, Liam. 🎤🎨💙

[danielfuckingricciardo]

16 + Charles and 26 + Pierre please ❤️

Hi!

Sorry this took so long, I’ve been in such a writing slump lately and this has sat unfinished in my drafts for weeks! But I finally did it and I hope you like it!

The Charles one is also in progress, I’ll make sure to tag you in that one when I post it :)

Song 26 - Creep//Radiohead

Pairing - Pierre Gasly x Reader

Word Count - 3.8k

Content Warnings - swearing, discussion of mental health issues

When you were here before Couldn't look you in the eye You're just like an angel Your skin makes me cry You float like a feather In a beautiful world I wish I was special You're so fuckin' special

Your therapist called it impostor syndrome. She mentioned it a lot during your weekly online meetings, and you usually laughed it off with some cringy internet joke about being ‘sus’ and tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. You’d receive a concerned glance, as you always did when you apparently ‘used humour as a coping mechanism’, but she would eventually move on to another topic, usually something about taking care of yourself physically as well as mentally.

Taking care of yourself physically was never a problem. You had nutritionists and personal trainers, physiotherapists and masseuses available whenever and wherever. The team made sure of that. To Alpha Tauri F1 team, your physical health was their top priority. Your mental health? Not so much. It was easy to lie to them and say that everything was fine, so that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t want to risk losing your seat because you told the truth about how you actually felt inside, so instead you saved that for the therapist you hired for yourself, and every Wednesday at 2pm you unloaded a week’s worth of thoughts and feelings you couldn’t share with anyone else.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, (y/n), we all feel like we don’t belong to some degree. And the bigger you make it in this world, the stronger those feelings will be.” She says, and you scoff.

“I’m not sure about that. The rest of the guys on the grid all seem so confident in themselves, and it’s definitely not a facade. They believe that they are the best of the best. I wish I could feel the same.” You say, and your therapist gives you a small smile before scribbling something in her notepad.

“You can’t know that for sure. Everyone experiences self doubt at some point in their lives, but they beat it, they get through it. Look at you, (y/n), against all odds you made it to where you are now, and you can’t tell me that the powers that be would have you there if they didn’t believe in you. You just need to learn how to believe in yourself as much as they do, and as much as your fans do.” She says, and you nod.

You know she’s right, but you wish that she wasn’t. You wish that your feelings would be vindicated so that you didn’t feel like such much of an idiot for having them.

“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about today?” She asks, and you open your mouth to ask a question, but are immediately interrupted as your phone begins to ring.

You look over at the screen and check the name - Pierre. What the fuck does he want? He never calls you, hell, he hardly ever talks to you unless he’s obligated to. This was definitely weird, something was definitely wrong.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta take this. Work stuff.” You say, and your therapist nods.

“Okay, let’s end the session early this week. Please do text me if you have any concerns you’d like to discuss.” She says, before ending the call and sending your computer screen back to her website.

You take a deep breath in and out before pressing the green icon on your phone screen.

“Hi?” You say, to no reply.

“Hello?” You repeat, and you receive no reply once again.

After a few moments of nothing but shuffling and breathing on the end of the line, you hear a quiet voice in the distance and strain your ears to hear. It’s clear Pierre didn’t mean to call you, it was probably a butt dial or some other similar fuck up, but you couldn’t help but want to listen in to whatever conversation he was having.

It was probably wrong, a total invasion of privacy, but your curiosity got the better of you, and you turn your phone’s volume to maximum.

“The fact of the matter is that Pierre feels as though he isn’t getting anywhere with Alpha Tauri, and therefore, as a team, we have made the decision to make the move to Alpine for the 2023 season.” You hear a familiar voice you cannot place say on the other end of the phone.

You let out a gasp and immediately clap your hand over your mouth, hoping that your shock had not be heard in the silence that had descended across the room.

Pierre was… leaving? After all this time? It was no secret that the two of you had never really bonded following your ascension to Alpha Tauri’s second seat, but you depended on him a great deal. He was great with the media, the fans, and the other drivers, and you felt comfortable following him around the paddock like a lost puppy, laughing and smiling along with everything he said and did.

You probably annoyed the hell out of him, and that was probably part of the reason he was eager to get away, to find a team mate he could actually have some meaningful banter with. Sure, you knew that he hadn’t always seen eye-to-eye with Esteban, but they had grown up together, and had an awful lot in common with one another. It seemed like a solid ground for a relationship, one that would definitely be more popular with the fans than your own.

You hear shuffling through the phone handset, and a whispered ‘fuck’ before the call is ended and the line goes dead.

“Fuck.” You echo, and you throw your phone down on your couch and pull your legs up to your chest, burying your head in your knees as you let out a single tear.

You didn’t think that you were crying for the loss of Pierre, that didn’t make sense, after all, the two of you hardly spoke outside of work. But at the same time, you couldn’t imagine being without him? You hadn’t realised until now just how much you had relied on him, and how much he had helped you over the years. He was the only friend you really had, though he probably regarded you as an acquaintance at best. All of your other friends had been left behind the day you moved your life to Faenza to be closer to the team, and you spent so much time travelling here, there and everywhere, that you hadn’t really had the chance to make any closer to your new home.

You hated to say it, but Pierre was your rock, and you had grown to care for him deeply, and now, losing him, what would it mean? You hoped they would call up some other, more experienced driver, like Daniel perhaps, to take the first seat. He could more than make up for your lack of confidence with his outgoing, loveable persona. But the alternative? The alternative scared you. If they were to call on some rookie to take his place, suddenly you would be the experienced one, the one to teach the newbie what to do and what to say. You barely knew yourself just how to play the game, you wouldn’t exactly make the best mentor.

You suddenly become aware of your breathing becoming faster, and more erratic, as your mind races, and employ one of the techniques your therapist had taught you to slowly regulate and steady yourself. God you regretted ending your session early, you could really do with someone to talk to right now.

Shakily, you reach for your phone and begin to draft out a text to your therapist. She had said to text if you had any concerns, and this was a real fucking big one.

Your phone begins to vibrate in your hands, and it almost slips out of your unsteady grasp as you read the contact name at the top of the screen - Pierre.

Fuck.

You take a shaky deep breath in and count in your mind, 1,2,3,4. You squeeze your eyes shut and squeeze your lips together tightly, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Finally, you exhale, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and you accept the call.

“Hey! Did I call you just now?” Pierre asks, and you hesitate.

“Umm…” You say, unsure whether to lie, or to tell the truth.

“How much did you hear?” He asks, and you chuckle awkwardly.

“You still live at the same place? I’m coming over, I think we need to talk, yeah?” He says.

“Yeah, same place.” You say, and he hangs up.

You stare at your phone for a moment, your mind racing as you wonder exactly what Pierre wants to say to you. Was he angry at you for eavesdropping? You knew you should have hung up, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You were always taught that knowledge is power, and you just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to discover something new, even if it came from a blatant disregard for your team mate’s privacy. Hell, you’d be angry too if someone eavesdropped on a private conversation of yours, it’s only natural, so you wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to come over to yell at you.

Why else would he be coming to visit? It’s not like he owes you an explanation, or an apology. You meant nothing to him, you were just some overgrown rookie hanging off of his coat-tails, nothing but a burden.

Lucky for you, you weren’t left waiting long, as your apartment was only a few blocks away from Alpha Tauri’s headquarters, and you soon heard a rhythmic knock on your front door.

You take a second to breathe once again; in for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, out for eight seconds, before getting up to answer the door.

“Hi.” You say quietly, opening the door for Pierre to enter, your eyes not leaving the ground for a second.

Pierre follows you inside and takes a seat on the chair opposite the sofa where your things were spread out; a blanket, your phone, your laptop, a hoodie, and your favourite stuffed animal.

“Before you yell at me, let me bring my tissues. I always cry when I get yelled at, it’s not a guilt trip thing, so don’t feel bad, it’s just this thing I do, I can’t control it, I…” You say, walking over to your side table where you kept your tissues ready for a particularly sad movie or dog video.

“Who says I’m going to yell at you?” Pierre interrupts, and you turn to look him in the eyes for the first time.

“You’re not?” You ask, blinking away the tears that already threatened to breach your waterlines.

“No, why would I… That’s not why I’m here, I just wanted to make sure you were okay after hearing all of that.” He says, and you let out a shaky breath of relief.

“Me? Okay? You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.” You say, throwing yourself down on the sofa and closing your laptop, which still happened to be open on your therapist’s website, which Pierre had, no doubt, already seen.

“Oh, thank you! I expected a little more from my long time team mate after finding out I was leaving! Maybe not tears, but, something?” Pierre says with a chuckle, and you shake your head.

“No, no, don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely devastated that you’re leaving, and I’m going to be completely tragic and sad next year without you because I’m a total loser with no fans, but I’m happy for you, really.” You say, and Pierre gives you a warm smile.

“You’re not a total loser, (y/n).” Pierre says, and you give him a small smile.

“But you do think I have no fans?” You chuckle, letting out a small sniffle.

“You know I don’t think that. I’ve seen it myself, how many fans you have out there.” Pierre says, and you scoff.

“They’re all your fans, Pierre, and they’ll be leaving with you. We all know they only tolerate me because of you.” You say, and Pierre shakes his head.

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true! I mean, I have practically no personality when it comes to media stuff, I freeze at the slightest interaction with the media, I post like twice a month on Instagram because my life is just that boring, and, not to mention, I spend my free time talking to my therapist in the company of my fucking stuffed animals.” You rant, and you feel tears running down your cheeks as you speak.

“You really don’t see it, do you? How much they like you because of those things. You’re relatable, (y/n), you’re normal. You’re here to race, not to be a celebrity. You’re not an attention whore posting shirtless selfies for likes and saying stupid shit to keep your name in people’s mouths. And people like that.” Pierre says, and you scoff.

“Yeah, as if.” You sniff.

“If you don’t believe me, then just look online.”

“My therapist said googling myself was a bad idea. Besides, I don’t just wanna be normal and boring. I want people to know me, but I just get so… scared, I guess? Scared they won’t actually like me the way they like you.”

“Well, the little of you that I know, I like.” He says with a smile, and you feel your cheeks heat up. This was the first time you’d heard Pierre compliment you before, and you couldn’t deny the fuzzy feeling it gave you.

“I just wish I was more like you. You’re so popular, with the fans, the media, the other drivers. I see how everyone crowds around you, you were made to be the centre of attention and you’re so fucking good at being in the middle of everything. You have this winning personality, everyone wants to either be you, or fuck you. Or both. If I could just have one tenth of that charisma, that personality, that vibe, then maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to do this thing properly. But I don’t. I’m just (y/n). A loser.” You say, and Pierre shakes his head again.

“But you don’t need to be me, (y/n). You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not for people to like you. The other guys like you just fine, they just wish you would talk to them more so that they can get to know you. Fuck, (y/n), I don’t think I even know you properly yet. I’d like to, and so would Charles, and Lewis, and Lando. You know, they ask me about you, a lot. I think they would talk to you more, but they don’t want to scare you.” Pierre says, and you chuckle.

“Ha, they know me well enough to know I’m terrified of social interaction, so there’s a start.” You say.

“You know that me leaving doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you, right? I’ll still be there for you.” Pierre says, and you look up at him, sniffing away your tears.

“Really?” You say, and Pierre smiles.

“Hey, I wouldn’t do it for my other team mates, but I guess you’re special.” He says with a chuckle.

“Well, that genuinely means a lot, really. Thank you.” You say, looking up at Pierre to briefly glance into his eyes.

He smiles at you, not breaking eye contact for a moment, and you feel the warmth of a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“I have to go, I have so much shit to do today, but don’t be a stranger, yeah?” Pierre says, standing from your chair and heading for the door of the apartment.

“I won’t.” You respond, and he winks at you before disappearing behind the door, closing it gently with a click.

Once you were sure he was out of earshot, you grab your phone again and immediately dial your therapist.

Ring. Ring. Ring. The call connects.

“Hey, um, I know this isn’t strictly therapy stuff but I need some advice.” You say, and she chuckles down the phone.

“I’ll help as much as I can.” She responds.

“So, I think I have a crush on my team mate, well, and don’t tell anyone this, he’s technically gonna be my former team mate. But yeah, I need help.” You say, and she laughs again.

“Oh, well that’s interesting. Let’s see how I can help then, yeah?” She says, and you exhale a shaky breath.

———

One Year Later…

You look out at the sea of fans, cheering and screaming for you and your team mate as you walk out onto the stage. You give them a wave, a smile, and a wink, and notice just how many of them are wearing your number on their shirts and caps. It gives you a fuzzy feeling on the inside, knowing that Pierre was right, losing him as your team mate wouldn’t mean you’d lose their support.

If anything, losing Pierre helped you. You did take his advice, and with the help of your trusty therapist, who was no longer your therapist at all but your closest friend, you had managed to come out of your shell more and show the world your true personality. And it felt good.

You take your seat beside Nyck on the stage, and turn your attention to the interviewer, who was waiting for the fans to stop their cheering to ask you the first question.

“Okay, okay, any more cheering and we’re gonna run out of time! Let’s get to questions, hm?” The interviewer asks, and you smile.

“Actually, I don’t mind the cheering! Keep going guys, let me hear you!” You say, your voice dripping with enthusiasm and excitement as the crowd goes wild once again.

“First question then, who are you and what have you done with (y/n)? You were so quiet and reserved these past few seasons, but now you seem to have really grown in confidence, and I’m sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we love it!” She says, and you chuckle.

“Well, it’s true I struggled a lot during my first few seasons. I honestly didn’t feel all too confident in myself and my abilities, and that really made it hard for me to be so outgoing. But, things have changed, and I owe it all to my former team mate Pierre. He’s really helped me to grow as a driver and as a person, and given me confidence that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to have. Even now we’re not team mates, I’m still his biggest fan and just so grateful for his support. So yeah, I really really owe it to him.” You say, and the audience cheers and whoops at your mention of Pierre.

Since Pierre’s move to Alpine, the two of you hadn’t been able to spend as much time together at work, but that didn’t stop you from spending time together at all. You had both made an agreement with one another to go out together at least once a month, and you had even taken a trip together during the winter break at the end of the previous season. Naturally, this meant that speculation was wild with fans over the nature of your relationship, with some insisting that you just had to be a couple.

But the truth was, you weren’t really sure what your relationship with Pierre even was. Sure, a few drunk kisses had been exchanged, and there were hugs aplenty, but as far as Pierre was concerned, you were just friends, even if you did desire something more.

“You mentioned Pierre there, and I’m sure everyone in the audience has seen the photos of your little dates and that ski trip you took back in December, so, are you really just friends?” The interviewer asks, and you blush.

“Yes, yes, we are just friends, really.” You chuckle.

“But if he asked you out, what would you say?” She asks, and you shake your head, a smile playing on your lips.

“Put it this way, I wouldn’t say no.” You laugh, and the audience erupts into loud cheers at your response.

Once the crowd’s shouts and whoops had quietened, the interviewer directs her attention to Nyck and you sit and listen intently until you are ushered backstage with a smile and a wave.

“You wouldn’t say no, huh?” You hear a familiar voice say, and your cheeks immediately heat up.

“I mean, I’d be a fool to say no right?” You say, trying to play it cool despite the anxiety rising within you.

“Then I’m taking you out Wednesday. Properly. Wear that black dress, you look sexy in it.” Pierre says, and you can’t help but stare at him, your eyes wide and your mouth dropping open in shock.

You try to search your brain for a response, but it seemed to have become completely blank the moment Pierre called you sexy. You can’t quite believe he actually said it, and for a moment you wonder if you were hallucinating, or dreaming, and pinch yourself on your arm. It stings, like a bitch, and you realise you most certainly weren’t dreaming. It was real.

“Okay. See you in practise tomorrow, yeah?” You finally manage to say, and Pierre smirks at you.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” He says, winking at you before joining Esteban who was waiting in the wings ready to step out on stage.

The pair step on stage to roars and cheers from the fans, and you chuckle in disbelief, taking one more glance out to the sea of hats and shirts that bore your number. You were finally able to be you, unapologetically so, and the fans loved it, Pierre loved it too, but most importantly, you loved it.

[bugzheadquarter]

A bit of a rant.

But I hate the burden of being the eldest.

Like my mom has even said that I resemble the eldest daughter from Encanto. Jokingly when really I relate to her THE MOST.

I was the first one to graduate in my family with a proper high school degree. I've tried EVERYTHING to keep my family happy. I've even gone as far as to risk my life for the damn COUNTRY.

Just. So I can provide better doctors for my mother. But I was discharged medically due to a medical issue with my foot. But even that wasn't the worst of it. While I was STATES away from home. I was verbally abused and verbally attacked by a woman my mother's age. I had gotten multiple threats of being jumped by others all because I had told people BASIC corrections (I wasn't controlling but I was forced to be the leader). I was probably some of the youngest yet I had to think for adults.

My mental health was so bad there that I actually became so depressed I cried every night begging and praying to whoever the hell was watching over me to let me go home. But once I was in the processing of going home and being sent to a different company. A woman my mom's age and started targeting me. Throwing slurs at me, insulting and threatening me. I begged the higher ups to have her to leave me alone yet all they said was "nothing we can do." "Be the bigger person". I was completely helpless.

The amount of times I've nearly gone insane because of her was too many times. It had even gotten so bad that she had put a whole CASE against me. Nearly risking me of going home.

I wasn't punished though. I was pitied and "let off the hook". But when I got back one drill sergeant who I've complained and begged to chewed me out because " A case like that was serious and I was lucky it was a warning ". The amount of people I considered to be friends.. Been with the whole time I was in the previous company... Turned their backs and saw me I'm disgust for something I didn't do.

All that. Everything I've went through just so I could get money from a place that doesn't care for my well-being and mentality?? I get it's the army... But I was told the drill sergeants were supposed to make you feel safe despite their strictness. But I didn't even feel close to being safe..

And I don't think my mother doesn't actually UNDERSTAND what I went through. Because I don't even understand myself but everything I've went through lingers in my mind.

It haunts me. Taunting that I wasn't believed and peopled turned against me all because my abuser/attacker "had rumors spread against her". When really she was just every other manipulator and abuser who thinks she can do what she wanted.

I want to go to therapy but my mom doesn't trust therapists. I don't know what to do. She worries more about my sister's mentality because my sister has "bad anxiety". When it's true. But what about me? What about my needs?

Just because I tend to be more easy going and carefree doesn't mean I also don't have any issues.

I just don't know what to do. seems like after everything I've done or suffered. No one will actually understand what I've suffered. And it makes me so upset and so alone. Yet it feels that if I ask for help they wouldn't know what to do. I just wish I could get the help I want. Have a little back bone without worrying about other people's feelings being hurt.

[seeinginthedark]

So this blog is being refused by the Facebook groups when I tried to post on there .

From a public health perspective, I’m worried about men as a population group , it’s declining . Their physical and mental health , their well-being. Their life expectancy is shorter than women’s . Men have increased suicide rates, increased mental health problems, increased chances of being homeless , increased heart attacks, increased incarceration rates. Increased chances of being victims of violence and murder. And victims of rape. Increased chances of joining a gang. In marriage break downs, they generally they get less parental rights of their children.

Society isn’t helping men at all with this . And society doesn’t like any form of masculinity, toxic or not , like it’s trying to eradicate it. Since the Industrial Age began , men have been treated as work horses and been sent off to fight and die in the world wars . Then the newer generation of men born after 1990 (and especially more so with men being born after 2000) quite a few of them aren’t even wanting to be men. Since changing your gender became an option .

Some of the men I’ve met who have done a lot of spiritual healing and the truth seeker types , I’m noticing some of them get to a level on their spiritual journey where they start thinking they are God. This can’t be healthy.

I was a dominatrix for a few years during my nursing degree , right before my spiritual awakening kicked off. I would get large sums of money to punish and ridicule the rich , powerful , elite men. What I learned is that the more richer they get, the more disturbed and perverted they get. I believe there is an agenda going on that is grooming men to be perverted. So many men on dating apps want dirty photos , they ask all the time . And married men too.

So I’m worried about the future of men . I have met some strange and beautiful men over the years . A lot of them have hurt me. Badly. But I’m not bitter or angry at men , I still care about them. And I realise that society isn’t good for them . I have four sons , no daughters . I’m genuinely worried for their future . I love men that were born in the 70’s. They are more staunch. Wholesome . That generation of men knows and remembers what it was like to date women before the days of social media . They remember saying “I’ll give you a call on Friday to see what you’re up to” on the home phone . And go days without contacting us. Now we have mobile phones and social media apps and the men wanting to pursue women , will text them constantly throughout the day . It’s clingy and insecure 😕. Men have an instinct to protect but I see a lot of domestic violence going on in my community. Paranoid men. Anger issues . And frequent “Agent Smith” attacks . That I have experienced. You’re probably reading this and thinking oh this woman attracts troubled and damaged men . Actually no, not really. I’m confident in myself , I have boundaries . I know my worth. I don’t attract them or seek them out . It’s not my issue to heal them . I’m just noticing trends over time , what is happening with them and the levels of toxicity is on the increase .

What do you all think ?

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

what if there was a vampire therapist carlisle made edward go to after his attempted suicide?

BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Ahem, sorry, anon, it's just. Ah, that's so very beautiful for a few reasons.

Standard Disclaimer

Obviously, therapy is a wonderful thing as is taking care of your mental health. There's far too much stigma around mental health and therapy in popular culture and absolutely seek out a therapist when needed.

Now, with that, we can get into why I don't think this would be a miracle cure all for Edward.

Why is This a Bad Idea

The thing about therapy is that for it to truly be effective there are a few things required.

First, you have to be able to trust your therapist. You're potentially telling this person deep personal shit, often all the way back to your childhood, and uncovering things about yourself you may despise. It is a hard and grueling process to evaluate yourself and change for the better, and while by law a therapist cannot reveal your secrets you still want to be able to trust that person to truly help you and be sympathetic to you.

Second is that you have to recognize that there is a problem and you have to want to change and approach it even if it's not simply difficult but agonizing. People who are forced into going to therapy by well-meaning relatives/society are often very resistant to the entire concept and will make a point of not addressing what they need to. Sometimes, people are ready to acknowledge a problem, but they're not ready to do what they need to to face it or acknowledge what the problem is.

Which brings us to Edward Cullen.

First, who is he going to trust?

Edward can't talk to a human therapist as he'd have to talk in circles around the issues at hand. He wouldn't be able to discuss anything related to vampirism and while he might come up with decent metaphors he'd ultimately feel the human has no idea what they're talking about or truly understand why Edward was driven to suicide. Not to mention, of course, that Edward's quite contemptuous of us humans. He envies us from a distance but he tends to think of humans as slow, vapid, mayflies who simply do not match his intellectual prowess. He would instinctively feel better than whatever therapist they sat him in front of because, you see, Edward has five B.A.s which is more than the doctor's three degrees.

Then we get to vampires. First, even if there is a vampire psychologist, we're likely not looking at one who is up to date with modern research and therapy practices. Psychology, perhaps even more than medicine (and that's saying something), is a field that has undergone revolutionary changes within decades and has... some sketchy history. If we're looking at a psychologist who was turned around the time of Freud or even Jung and has been eating people and not paying attention to much research since... Not sure I'd recommend them as a therapist. Most importantly: Edward would know they're out of date and unable to get back up to date as most vampires can't integrate or even get close to human society as their control is that bad/they'd have no idea how to navigate a modern university library.

And worse than being out of date, they're not on the diet. If Edward's contemptuous of us humans he's extremely contemptuous of vampires not on the diet (to be fair, for a much more decent reason here). Even friends of the family, Edward sees a marked difference from those who embrace their vampirism and those who do not. Edward would be appalled at the very notion of being offered any kind of moral or advice period from a vampire who goes out and murders a human every two weeks.

That means that the therapist is either in the family (Rosalie with her twelve degrees) or is in the Denali. The family is obviously a terrible idea for so many reasons the least of which is your family member cannot be your therapist as they are too closely involved. (Adding to it that the qualified one, to a point, would probably be Rosalie and Edward's talking to the woman he thinks is a vapid, vain, shrew and telling her how awful she is to her face. It'd go well.)

The Denali, while a little better in that Edward trusts them and sees them as family, are still too close in that Edward would be horrified if their opinion of him lessened and if that news leaked to his family. He can't talk to them either.

So basically, Edward's out of therapists.

Even if he wasn't though, while Edward acknowledges consistently that he has issues in canon, he doesn't seem ready to address them and certainly not with other people. His self hatred is something he buries deep, only deeper is what he views as his vampiric self that lusts for human blood and calculated the cold blooded murder of Bella Swan.

Edward is terrified of himself and the last thing he wants to do is open that box up let alone with either a strange he doesn't respect or a beloved family member who can never ever know.

(Not to mention there wouldn't be any vampire psychologists/therapists as vampires are hedonistic individuals who don't even form a murder society who are either warring with each other, avoiding one another, or murdering their meals who look much like them every two weeks.

Look, they barely have a vampire doctor, and that's because Carlisle's fucking weird.)

Look, it's just never going to happen.

Slight Caveat/We Sort of See This

There is the fact that canonically Edward does ask his family the very awkward and terrible questions of how to make love to a breakable human woman to which they appear to give increasingly beautiful and bizarre answers but that's not the same thing as talking about Edward himself.

There's also Edward's many confrontations with Alice when, thanks to her visions, she has insight into what Edward may or may not do and historically doesn't judge him for it and even confronts him.

Edward also chose to have sex with Bella anyway even when it seems implied that Carlisle strongly suggested it was a very bad idea.

However, more often than not, he chooses not to listen to her as he respects her visions except when they tell him things he doesn't want to hear such as "you will either turn Bella or eat her". Then her visions don't count.

This is about as close as we ever get to Edward getting therapy.

But Alright, Carlisle Sends Edward to Uncle Eleazar

If we have to choose a candidate, then it's going to be one of the Denali. Trouble is, trouble's going down with the Denali post New Moon/During Eclipse in a very awkward way. See, Laurent was tragically murdered by shapeshifters, and when the Cullens pleaded for help in attacking the newborn army they refused as the Cullens wouldn't let them commit genocide. The Cullens then only survived likely because of the help of teenagers, because the Denali blew them off, and the Denali on their end didn't get to avenge Laurent.

So, there's really bad feeling on both sides. Obviously, this smooths over in time for the wedding but uh that felt very reconciliatory and awkward.

So, sending Edward up for therapy during all of this would be really weird if not spark a complete family feud that they never recover from.

Not only that, but Tanya infamously comes onto Edward every chance she gets (we even see this in Midnight Sun and it is hilarious), so... Tanya's right out. Irina is also in deep mourning over Laurent so she's out. Kate is likely still very upset about the not murdering the shapeshifters thing which means...

Eleazar's probably the likely choice.

Eleazar in canon is presented as kind of Bizarro Carlisle. He had a similar history of spending some time with the Volturi, he's an intellectual as well, and is also at least presented as an extreme pacifist. Edward directly compares him to Carlisle and has a lot of respect for him canonically and welcomes his input.

I have no canon to back me up, but if any of the Denali would present themselves as qualified to be a therapist, it'd be Eleazar. He'd also likely point to his time spent evaluating gifts as a kind of coaching people through.. things... (Is he qualified, probably not, but that's not important).

So, we have our therapist who is qualified(?), doesn't eat humans, whom Edward respects, and who isn't considered a 'direct' family member that Edward may feel he's able to open up to (especially as Eleazar was in the Volturi, had started off the diet, so can understand things like blood lust.)

However, even taking out @therealvinelle and my constant unfounded slandering of Eleazar, I doubt this would work out as neither would delve into what's really Edward's problem.

Edward would blame his suicidal tendencies on being a vampire: he is a demon ergo there is no purpose to his life and if Bella dies so does he. I just imagine Eleazar shrugging and acknowledging that yes, life is sad sometimes, and losing a mate is sad and hey did you hear about Marcus?

I just don't get them really digging into the why of why Edward wanted to kill himself so badly. It's not something either would want to confront and on the surface, it looks like they have their answer: Edward views vampirism as so loathsome that he can't turn Bella and he can't exist without her. Ergo. Death.

The only thing that changes is Edward spends a weekend in Denali at some point during Eclipse.

[kakiastro]

Astrology of Justin Bieber

Using placidus system

Rising/Chart Ruler

Scorpio rising with rulers Mars in Aquarius 3h and Pluto Scorpio 1h.

He also has Jupiter and North Node 1h.

It’s very interesting that he has Mars Aquarius 3h because I remember when he first debuted and the media (3h) and public(Aquarius) was obsessed(mars) with him but at the same time received and still kind of till this day lots of resentment or hostility(Pluto 1h)

I’ve said this before in my past post but having Jupiter 1h can manifest as having lots of intention on you. Since it’s in Scorpio, this means people were and still is heavily involved with his personal life.

North Node- it’s time to take his power back and put his energy into himself. In a pass life(South Node) he put all of his energy into other people especially relationship(7h); it may have been materialistic as well(Taurus)

Pisces Stellium 4h

(Sun, Venus, Saturn)

Sun-I noticed celebrities who usually (not always) have sun 4h were child stars or was the famous one in their families. He became famous at 15 years old I believe and he’s 29 now so he’s been in the limelight for a long time. He was definitely exposed(Sun) to the world at a young age which may have been a struggle for him since it’s conj his Saturn.

Saturn- like I just said; even though he got fame and fortune at a young age, there was still some emotional restriction in his home life.

He’s currently going through his first Saturn return. It’ll be in his 4h of the mother, home, private life, women figures. It’s also aspecting his Sun and Venus. So I know his love life and fame is going to be affected as well. We will wait and see how. He won’t feel his Saturn return until it’s close to his Natal degree which is 3° so he’s definitely feeling it now. It makes sense on the whole Selena/Hallie thing. Didn’t I say women figures in his life lol it won’t affect his love life personally though until next yearish

Venus- obviously we know he’s a married man now. I see he is attracted to partners who is probably a lot like him or puts their energy into him. I say this because Venus Pisces traditional ruler Jupiter is in his 1h. The 1h is self. Also Venus Pisces modern ruler is in Capricorn 2h. Hallie comes from a well known(Capricorn) and wealthy (2h) Hollywood family. Also Hallie is into the fashion industry which the 2h rules.

Moon is 11h and Mc

He has a libra moon 11h. Libra rules over marriage and partnerships. The moon is our emotions what we internally crave, it’s also our home life and safe spaces. I remember him saying how he always wanted to be married and have a partner. Having a partner makes him feel emotionally safe. Unfortunately that safe space will always be in the public eye. His romantic relationships will always be a topic of discussion no matter how private he tries to be. On the bright side this is a good placement for networking and meeting people; he’s worked with some of everybody over the years.

Mc- I see he has Chiron here🥺, Mc is your public career image. So his health has definitely been an issue for him for years. It could be from stress.I know he’s known for canceling tour shows due to his health reason. Fame is physically and mentally exhausting for him. Virgo rules the body and mind. Chiron is the wounded healer.

Pluto Aquarius

It will enter his 3h so the media, his siblings, associate and friends will be the topic. It will conj his mercury and Mars. 😵‍💫this is a 20 year transit.

I Hope you enjoyed this post; make sure to check out my other celebrity post in the pin on my page