#im sad this is so tragic and theres no fixing it

[inkywarden]

This is a long one (fr sorry in advance) but it seems I can't quite put this out of my mind. I've never really listened to One Direction, even if I as a now 32 year old, probably was in the main target audience. I never got the hype, or much more likely, I never attempted to get the hype. I remember seeing them everywhere, and since I do have eyes, I noticed they were good looking boys. I also remember (silently mind you, I was much too edgy for 1D at this point) quickly finding my fav. He looked kind, he had a nice laugh and kind eyes. He was gorgeous, with the kind of smile I fear I will never see again. Tbh I have gone until last week without listening to, or even thinking much about 1d since. I do remember him though, Liam. I've seen him in the news, on social media, and again since I do have eyes, I noticed how the boy with the beautiful smile turned in to a very, very (like extremly??? hello?) handsome man. A man who still had the most genuine, contagious smile. A smile that always spread to his eyes. That was pretty much it for my knowledge of this band, and this man, until last week.

I saw it in the news, and it made no sense to me. How did we go from there to here? I felt.. something, still unsure what exactly. I later saw my old university post a memorial type post about him on facebook. My old university being the University of Wolverhampton, where I graduated as an illustrator in 2015. That's two things, two coincidences that weirdly made me feel more connected to this stranger. The unexplained, undefined feelings I was having suddenly felt heavier. This is when I hyperfixated and consumed just about everything there is to consume about this band, and this man. I'm still not a 1D fan, but I can now, after all these years say I get it. I've seen and read so much about this man and his life now, ups and downs. In the end, tragically, it seemed to be most of the latter in later years.

Most notably, and this actually broke my heart, I noticed how that genuine, beautiful smile that used to spread across his entire face, at some point stopped reaching his eyes. This is sad, it is tragic, and it is infuriating.

The time leading up to, and the aftermath both - the takes i'm seeing out here is wild and lacking in nuance. It feels like everything always is weighed in extremes, and it is neither fair or realistic. I dont know if I feel this way due to my own personal experiences and struggles with mental health, substance and/or alcohol abuse, or if its because this is the field I am soon graduating (career change dw) to work in, and I see many of these issues close up daily. These issues are things I would argue always goes hand in hand, and it is a never a choice one makes. It is a disease. I will never have anything in common with internet people today, and I will never understand this. Whatever the reasons. I will not speculate further. What I choose to believe in and live by is whatever the circumstance, people suffering from these issues deserve some grace. It is hard, constantly, and every day. No one chooses to stay in this illness, and even if they do manage to get out, it is almost impossible to stay out.

Whatever people have done, that is still just an aspect of a whole. A single line on a piece of paper, a small piece of a bigger, much more complex picture. We are more than the worst thing we have ever done. I have to believe this, both for my own sake and for the sake of others. Life is not black and white, it exists in shades of grey.

I am confused about the range of feelings i've experienced over this, and I'm still unsure why I'm affected to this degree but here we are.

I am sad, I am frustrated, I am disappointed and I am angry. Most of all my heart breaks for Liam, who never got the chance to get better, heal, and find his smile again. I also feel actual despair at the thought of this man, that young boy, passing away thinking the world hates him. There's no fixing that now. He is gone. Please, I beg you to be kinder next time. Show some compassion. Give some grace, be kind or at the very least be quiet.

I'm not even sure why I felt the need to post this, as I mentioned before I never had a horse in this race. The only opinion I ever settled on before this last week was that if I, in an alternate universe was a Directioner, I would be a Liam girly. It appears, after all these years, I still am. I dont know what comes when life ends, but I hope you find your smile again. Whatever else, you deserved so much more than this. You were a complex piece, but still so, so beautiful.

You meant so much to so many, and I wish you could have known that in the end.

Rest in peace, Liam. 🎤🎨💙

[lookingforhappy]

TUA wasn't "always meant to end like this" nor did it build up to a tragic everybody dies ending in any way

sorry this is long and rambly but im noticing a lot of people coming out of the woodworks saying that the ending wasnt even bad actually and i just.. its not a redeemable ending to me and yes it does ruin the rest of the show for me and i wish i had the strength to make it not so but im stuck rn.. anyway:

i don't think i can forgive the ending, more than anything that happened in the final season

they had interesting character points, in an interesting setting.

and yeah they didnt tie up anything, and several people were out of character this season but thats nothing new in this fandom

eudora was forgotten, diego and luthers personalities didnt develop they were altered to be more palatable for the audience, grace and pogo became cameo characters instead of finishing their arcs or development in a meaningful way, reginalds plan has made less and less sense as the seasons go on, the commission was entirely changed from its set up in s1 and then forgotten.

thats all forgivable as long as the season is self contained and satisfys the tone and story.

s4 did none of these things - its not self contained as it leaves jennifer and abigail severely underexplained, and then flips the tone and message of the entire series on its head.

people have already noted that the theme of the show is that recovery from abuse haunts you into adulthood but with love and hard work and perserverance you can overcome it. the apocalypse has always been a metaphor for the cycle of abuse and how it continues to harm people after its been done, and how allowing it to dictate your life will end up in it imploding in your face etc.

but theres also just the general tone of the show.

the final season tries to make out that the siblings are themselves responsible for the apocalypses and only their death can prevent more apocalypses (twisting the meaning to be that of "if you have trauma then you should kill yourself" which like.. clearly bad, no explanation needed)

but to pull through on this ending the previous seasons need to have ended in tragedy too, or hinted towards it tonally. they never do.

the obvious way to do this would be to write each season ending/apocalypse to be sad/tragic. have the focus be on the people dying horribly in pain, show the remorse of the siblings, punish them by making it personal, show that they killed everyone and they know it.

the only season that even slightly does this is s1 as patch is killed because of diego, pogo and grace are killed because of luther and viktor, and the rest of the supporting cast is killed due to viktor.

but even season 1 isnt framed as a tragedy or a story leading up tot a tragedy.

its a story of hope. the siblings arent upset by the apocalypse because they can survive and prevent it and theres hope for the future and more specifically for THEIR future. nothing else remains from this timeline other than them because the whole show is centred as their recovery story. their hope.

if this was ever going to be presented as a hopeless tragedy then we needed to see characters like claire killed brutally. we needed to actually see Grace's lifeless body. we needed to see the consequences and see that nothing they did was fixing anything by having these consequences follow them and not just in a "this happened and im sad" but in everyone around them and them becoming worse as time goes by.

if they wanted the whole "we cant exist" ending to work then we needed to frame s1 and all subsequent seasons to actually show that it was their actions that caused the apocalypses.

viktor causes the first apocalypse because of reginald's abuse.

the US government causes the second apocalypse because they tortured an innocent to the brink of death and then got upset and aggressive when that had consequences (viktors powers overspilling and destroying the fbi building). like sorry that apocalypse was never viktors fault - its like false confession under torture, it doesnt count as real because he only did it to make torture stop.

the 3rd apocalypse is caused by Harlan accidentally killing their mothers, which again is not even his fault. he didnt want to kill them he just lost control and he had no idea that it would end the world (logically it shouldnt because this apocalypse defies the laws of time that they themselves established for the show).

the final apocalypse isnt even caused by them its caused by abigail and reginald. as are, technically, all of the apocalypses as abigail created the marigold and reginald released it and created the broken timeline by allowing it to travel with him to the umbrellas world.

in s2 the apocalypse has no consequences because they prevent it. ray and sissy and harlan get to live. klaus' cult memeber get to live. they even punctuate this ending by showing that theyre moving on and progressing in their healing because ben is finally allowed to move on with his afterlife, and he is no longer kept there, stalling their recovery from his death. even five's integration into the family again in s1 showed growth and recovery and HOPE.

in s3 the world is saved, and luther is brought back to life and five and diegos limbs are returned. everyone who was erased/died like lilas family and reginald are brought back to life because there is HOPE.

if they wanted to sell a tragedy and sell it well then we needed to see consequences. allison should have died in s1. five should have given up and returned to the commission in s2. luther should have stayed dead in s3. their families should have died and caused them pain.

nothing about this ending followed through on the theme of hope.

there are ways to do it. and its been done well.

romeo and juliet works because they are remembered. star wars prequels are loved because its a doomed from the beginning story that ends with hope in the form of luke saving his fathers soul and returning the jedi to their true state - protectors and peace keepers. frodo and bilbo return from their journeys ill and grieving and forever changed, and they and the magic beings of middle earth have to pass on before their time because of the harm of their stories. macbeth dies in the end because his story was one of a hero becoming a villain.

theres so many good examples of tragic endings but s4 wasnt one of them.

[jkgnggj]

PLSS OFC THEY GIRL GOSSIP THATS THEIR GIRL TALK THEY'RE BESTIES. but also I like to make things angsty so I can see it going different ways like there's potential for Miko to also be sad and concerned Abt both of them but also there's potentially for her to have a lil resentment towards Tori like really? And u call urself his friend? As if u weren't a scumbag already u had to betray the only person who actually gives a shit about you? And honestly Tori feels like that's so deserved and it probs makes him feel better and worse Abt the whole thing bc he feels like thats the kind of treatment he deserves after what he did, like he wishes saiki would do that but instead he treats him with kindness and care and that is somehow worse and breaks him more bc it multiplies the guilt. But also I like to hc they just didn't tell Miko and kept it a secret and she's just like whatever if u don't wanna talk Abt it I won't ask. And also as much as I'd love angst with Tori lying to his counselor or advisor I genuinely dont think he'd have to bc why would anyone give a shit? Like he was missing for like what a week? And nobody noticed? Not his peers his classmates his teachers or the monks or his parents? I'm not surprised bc of his rep so if they didn't ask questions then I doubt they'd start now yk. And idk if that makes things better or worse bc on one hand phew less ppl ask questions the better but it also reminds him how little his existence means to this world and everyone around him.

im fucking crazy over this im fucking.crazy.

[mochiotomedumplings]

man, now that im done with this isekai fic… its been a long time since i managed to finish writing a fic, this is quite the feeling. ive recovered from the sunday crunch, now revving to write the author’s notes for this… just cos there’s so much to say.

(writing and ranting by extension becomes much easier after i broke my back writing 31k… its really like a muscle that needs to be regularly used)

this fic is kinda hard to explain in few words, “in another world” is, as vague and encompassing as that sounds, is the best description so far. i guess “childe transmigrates into a novel and falls in love with an ex-villain who loves the og him in the other timeline too” works as well, but it isn’t enough. this is the second longest fic ive written, but in terms of details it probably rivals scattered flowers 😂 scattered was wordy from smut and character exploration, but theres not much in terms of actual interaction btw zc. theres a lot of memories and alluded-to interactions, but theres a whole lot more internal simping. even the smut is 90% delusional 😂 this fic however, has much actual interaction (shocking, for me) and lotta side characters as well. side character lore ! on top of zc’s backstory. and the complexity of parallel timelines which i dig so much. despite how much it grew on me, i did learn to not plan a story with a time gap in between - it would be too easy to want to fill in the gap and things go out of hand quickly since i take longer to write these days.

i suppose what i adore the most was the story of the other timeline - i settled with “tale of purple: alternative” as the name bcs of it. the whole fic is essentially a fix-it for the other timeline, though few things remain just as tragic (sorry i only have zc in my eyes). i got this idea a while back, wanting to write an isekai where ch comes over and is clueless on zl’s simping for him (classic but always so good) and since zl loves ch in every timeline for me, i had to puzzle out the og timeline too. the og version was a bit more… *interesting* in terms of the events, other!zl was also a villain then, but he was directly responsible for ch’s disappearance instead. ofc, he only took ch to his lil dungeon and had his own twisted time with the ginger… that was an otome isekai au, zl was spose to be that villain you can’t date, for actual reasons 😂 in the new variation, he was hate-pining after the ginger until ch accidentally died, so it became tragic. it didn’t hit me how sad it was until scenes of him being broken afterwards showed up in my mind - other!zl had grudges but it wasn’t that bad until what happened to ch. this was also where the theme of “place where i belong” came in as well, completely unplanned - zl was so enamored with ch that it kinda solved/ restrained his resentment for the world. so he was quite destroyed and went ham with villainy when his angel went away. alternatively (ha ha) when new ch crossed over, he managed to save zl completely and survive his cannon fodder fate as well, so all was good. the important thing was that regardless of timeline, zl was head over heels for ch.

thinking of the specifics of the og timeline added a bunch of stuff as well. it unexpectedly became even more tragic, and part of it was not even fixed in the new timeline - bcs i need it to make sense for ch to puzzle his way thru the lore (only to come to the wrong conclusion anyway but thats a required misunderstanding lolol). this was one of the more surprising part of the writing - the tragedy had felt so bad in one moment that i had to take a forced break from writing. it was unexpectedly quite dark for a story that was spose to be all fluff.

initially i hadn’t intended for it to be so family-focused, but it somehow wiggled its way into the story bcs of ch. i hadn’t intended to expand on ch’s story before he transmigrated either, per isekai tradition, but i ended up doing just that - he’s not just a corporate slave who simps after a novel’s character, he’s an orphan who was saved by an orphanage director after being pummeled by his gang, then became a normie who spends most of his time playing with the orphanage children bcs he’s afraid of losing his family - his stabilizer so to say. he also adopted some children as well (just so i can make him freak out and fight xiao before the climax) and well, since the whole fic is in his pov, eventually even his feelings for zl gained the family tint. what was supposed to end on him just realizing zl’s feelings, turned into a whole proposal bcs family. i just realized how much i derailed bcs of it, they really was just spose to start dating… skipped a few steps haha.

even zl’s story as well, he already got a bunch from other!zl’s lore, but he got some more bcs ch wanted to know his past for some reason. made it sadder how the other timeline turned about - he lost his “place in the world”, which was by ch’s side, even if he never managed to reach out to ch in that world. that was why the meaning of aster was so sad - it was a wish for things to have turned out differently (hence, alternative).

i had this burning thought of other!zl transmigrating to ch’s og word, as like a ceo or mafia boss. and then other!ch transmigrated into new ch’s body ! so its like they switch world 🥹 but yeah i just want to give them a future. zl deserves a second chance to reach out to his angel and protect him properly this time, since other!ch has few issues growing up without anyone to save him like new ch did. i imagined that zl woke up in the hospital after gaining memories from the other world. it made sense now why he felt so empty all his life. and then he saw ch in the hospital kinda dying from that truck hit. zl tried his best to save ch and thanks to the modern world’s medical prowess. ch woke up… with the other world’s memories as well, not that zl knew. other!ch probably pretends to lose his memories (he doesnt have new ch’s memories while zl does) but slowly warms up to his family anyway, even if it might be rough. he had a crush on other!zl to begin with so other!zl approaches him quite easily, and maybe they’ll end up having a more physical relationship before an emotional one - they’re both rather broken ppl after all. eventually i hope they can be honest about their memories with each other, which would be quite sweet and heartwarming - they are the only ones to share memories of that world after all.

oh this was also something i couldn’t help imagining, out of sheer pity for other!zl. i think ch will have a dream one day where he meets other!zl, who’s so happy - and afraid - to see him. he would be quite taken with ch, bcs ch did manage to save him in another world after all. but more than anything, he’s just so happy to see ch again, alive. he would hug ch for the entirety of the dream, just to feel better (ch realizes that its not quite his zl, but still zl after all) before asking for a kiss at the end. ch would tease him for being so shy for a villain, but they would kiss rather sweetly and then woke up. no one remembers the dream but the next day zl is a bit clingier than usual. other!zl… i guess he would love new ch just as other!ch - they’re still ch after all. from a technical point of view they’re different variations of the same person so they can be compared, but since they will never see the two versions side by side, it matters little i guess (but if i *really* have to say, i would like for other!zl to love other!ch more, bcs that was the version he knew, and there for *his* own version of ch. sure that ch did leave him when being beaten up, but ppl make mistakes let alone a child. other!zl might even feel like he doesn’t deserve new ch cos of how broken he is, but thats a pretty sad way of looking at it).

one of the most burgeoning parts was how zc’s friendship evolved - i never meant to explore it but well, the gap has to be filled. from their first (second) meeting to how zl slowly wiggled into ch’s life, the simp that was rex lapis. ch’s a clown for how much he (internally) simps over zl and yet refuses to actually follow his desires, and zl’s the same clown for not taking his chances until way later. in retrospect, there is quite a big secret between them, and ch doesn’t even know the full story. they really could have kissed much sooner though - but its the slow… idiocy (?) that makes it funny to read ? it can’t be slow burn bcs they practically simp at first sight, but also ch was in denial for a long, long time. its quite funny how he managed to hold on for so long despite his inability to stop yapping about zl’s eyes and lips and everything.

ch’s clueless in all the ways that make him cute. ofc he doesn’t realize he has a fanclub, and that ppl were avoiding his eyes bcs they’re too ravishing. ofc he doesn’t realize that zl became friends with his servants so easily bcs they all simp for him, and the fanclub members (including ch’s most trusted subordinates/ caretakers he calls them) all support zl’s pursuit, partly bcs the duke is just too pitiful being friendzoned by their master 😂 and ofc, if he doesn’t realize zl’s feelings then he wouldn’t realize that he’s being jealous over himself - tbf zl has some responsibility for not just telling him, but we can’t have that can we.

and theres also the aster flower - one variation called “tartarian aster” (hehe) and shion in japan, means “i won’t forget you”. and aster when placed on a grave indicates a wish for things to have turned out differently. i didn’t plan for this, it was called “jade winds of aster” just bcs of xiao and that it sounded nice. only later did i realize how much it fit, and had to add so many paragraphs bcs of it 😂 worth it tho i guess, its quite the meaningful correlation.

well, i think that’s about all the stuff i can think to rant about now. damn…

[omegawolverine]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[dannibals]

This is gonna an excuse for me to write out a messy rusty lake vent post sorry. Also from someone whos vanderboomed pilled dude you are so right. Past within is really cool with the mechanics and art but albert coming back was......a choice. Willaim afton vibes. Albert is a pervert lil creep what the fuck is he gonna do for the plot??? Rusty lake's masterminds should only be the furries get him out of here!!! Bro thinks he's a part of the team. He was a pawn (or knight lol) for crow's plan to revive his brother. that makes albert and the vanderbooms so tragic to me personally. How albert was destined to be the plague of the family and once he filled his purpose it was time for him to die. bro wasn't even the king he was the horse. Him becoming triumphant at the end is >:( let him rot. I swear to god if albert plays a bigger role in the story. Im guessing once the day of the lake is over it'll shift to whatever the fuck rose and albert are planning which I'm not as excited for. I do enjoy the prequel/side stories like white door I feel like rusty lake the company is just polishing its skills to make the most important game the series has been leading to dale arriving to the hotel. But god waiting like 5+ years is roughhhhhh. At least we know now that's the next game.

Rusty lake should stop expanding on the vanderbooms and go into asura society like they clearly have one with the posters on the hotel rooms walls. Why is there 2 rabbits. What the fuck does mr rabbit's letter mean??? substance???? what does this mean for the other eilanders. My underground blossom rant as a laura enjoyer. I kinda wish it never happened? Which is weird because its like paradox....but so much weaker. Both are about the exploration of our main characters about their trauma, the fixation of a missing lady, the traveling of past, present, and future, and their messed up childhoods, nothing really gets added to the plot except us learning that they have great importance to the lake and they shall take over it. Both even have a line about how they're too fucked up to be fixed. Yet I love paradox so much more. UB is just so lack luster from the puzzles and even as an exploration. We get almost actual glimpses of her life and its just ok. Whats so special about her time at school? why did the train travel there? Bob and laura first becoming a couple is important but I feel like it just doesn't pack a punch felt unneeded. Like without it we could just assume they became one after the white door flashback. Paradox just feels so haunting from the past brain to that other brain birthday piece puzzle with Mr rabbit being a secret east egg that pops out at you. Makes Dale's trauma feel so much lack of a better word scary? Laura's one of rose leaving her I just cant feel as connected. Maybe its because laura didnt have a separate game about child lane in cube escape about rose but it just bothers me. Laura for the entire game is like I miss my mother......where did she go.....and it feels like the game is just overcompensating how they never gave laura a reason why shes so depressed until now. Like laura has always been sad about her mother's disappearance. Us not knowing why laura is so ill works better for me. UB is just confusing too I wish they didnt make harvey the guy we play as. Harvey is supposed to stay a bird why is he in his anthro form. Theres the explanation that nothing in UB is real and its sorta like a play. With how we know laura wasn't wearing her cube dress when she broke up with bob. But there's also parts of the game where it feels like it did happen in a train station and AUHHHHH. Perhaps its too much to ask for clarity from this game. I wish they went all out with UB. Wish they touched on being what the reincarnation of your great great uncle is like. One reference of willaim please that isn't in the secret ending. Wish they did lane about laura's paranoia era or show a better progression of laura's mental health. Anyways seasons is a much better game about laura. ALso you're doing god's work of doing david and dale explorations the devs are too scared to make smh /j Fr tho you make me miss the dale storyline

Oh... I saw a post on Reddit about some fans feeling like Rusty Lake is losing its plot with the last few games and it hurt to read cuz it made me realize... Yeah... Kinda. At first I thought "I just didn't care much about the last 2 games cuz they're about the Vanderbooms who I don't really give much of a crap about." But resurrecting characters like Albert out of nowhere and shit is like... Ugh. We didn't need him to come back his story ended fine in Roots. There are other characters who deserved more lore exploration. I'm biased clearly but literally been waiting so long for Mr. rabbit lore that sometimes feels is never gonna come and I'll forever be wondering why he did what he did. How he got there. And what happened to him or where he is now. And the whole two rabbits mystery yada yada yada. Literally one of the most mysterious characters. Seemed to have a plan and his own story happening in the background of Hotel and Birthday..... And then he's just never brought up again except in Dale's memories.

I miss the story being revolved around Dale and his journey to the lake... He's been stuck in that fucking elevator for ages now and I want the story to progress past that. I know they probably are trying to tie loose ends before they progress to that point but sometimes in efforts to do that, they're just muddying an already complicated plot more than it should be.

Like brotha I went on hiatus from the games for a couple of years and came back AND HES STILL IN THE FUCKING ELEVATOR AND LIKE 3 OTHER GAMES CAME OUT AT THAT TIME. The white door was pretty cool I liked the focus on Bob who had little lore before

The past within tho it has a cool concept is when things just started falling apart

I'm stuck hyperfixating on the games up to paradox cuz thats the golden age for the games for me. Everything after Paradox was just... Meh

People might disagree and that's fine. But something is starting to feel different and wrong about the games and I hope I HOPE the next game puts things back on track.

[herbietales]

trying to put my thoughts on the new special into one place!

starting off with the stan marsh tragedy montage is so tragic holy shit

and the fact that he keeps reliving in in his nightmares is so sad

having to handle his alexa too and like wanting to pander to her requests like the shopping cart and such - theres like a commentary there or something but maybe im reading too much into it its also just funny to see kyle so bewildered at that lmaooo

and stan turning around to sneer at kyle when he tries to cut in?? lmaoo

this scene between yentl and cartman hurts more knowing cartman’s end - him saying to yentl that she is her whole world and all

and then!! they met butters- victor who changed his name to seperate himself from butters and even pretending not to know anyone from his past before his parents grounded him for like 16 years, which is like his entire teenage years even?? god i cant even imagine, BUT the only other thing keeping my sympathies is how he’s an NFT bro?? DUDE. the whole people-who-are-into-nfts-are-incels commentary?? love it lmao i kind of like how its not too evil or unhinged but its also not much of a happy ending - and kind of makes sense he’s a hardcore sellout considering his pimp lifestyle before

i think from here on i started to get confused by whats happening - from randy growing his weed so fast, to cartman recruiting clyde by pandering to his non-science stance, butters escaping to destroy a motel, hell- butters weiner helicoptering pee all over when cartman starts to yell at him  (he still says loo loo loo GJKDFG)  - i feel like butters wrecking so much chaos (hehe) in such a short time is so funny lmaoo

i was so goddang excited when cartman and butters duo happened but it makes me more sad when cartman expressed it was for his family again :((

next is stan bringing kyle to the bar to drink, finding out butters and cartman is sabotaging stan and kyle, being attacked by their alexas, stan again helping kyle to talk with his alexa, them them coming back to see the gang being caught up in the nft thing - and having a stendy moment??? i wonder where darwin even went he just disappeared without a word, which sucks bc i kinda liked the guy even though he’s had like 3 lines tops

anyways skipping ahead- the cartman and kyle fight was beautiful, outstanding, showstopping, what ive been waiting for this whole 2 specials, its funny still how kyle thinks its still a ruse when we find out that its really not, and yentl and the family are the ones who convince cartman to have faith that their lives will end up together in any pathway, not stan or kyle, which is MORE sad holy shit

adult clyde walking through the town like a badass fucking cracks me up, and the way he just busts through the door?? and kid clyde not questioning it??? so fucking funny

AHH and the moment i’ve been waiting for - stan saying that he regrets this day for the rest of his life and kyle saying you lose everything if you lose this friendship?? i love the style moment - and having to say that cartman has a family and you dont bc nothing would make kyle more pissed than cartman being happier than him LMAO

anyways after that this whole thing going back to heather from the start?? it feels like they couldve put the whole heather thing at the first special and then tie it up it this one tbh? and lowkey feels like a copout or feels a bit shallow? that all it takes for them to forgive each other is another outing -

as much as how cute i find it i wish it had gone a bit deeper but at the same time its south park. also theyre like 10, so this would kinda makes sense that itd be all good after like one amazing night together

stans note to randy was super sweet and cute, giving him the new special weed which then cures everyone which again,, kinda like a copout as usual it goes back to tegridy fixing everything and making it feel like trey and matt’s tegridy weed ad

and finally the end - oh. i feel like its so rushed, and so sad that cartman’s ending didnt pan out the way he had planned, stans an astropilot kind of thing, kyle has a family that cartman had, stan and wendy is hinted to get back together - and everyone else is weirdly the same too. it kind of paints stan and kyle as these selfish assholes who didnt care about cartman’s family, but at the same time they didnt remember how it was supposed to be considering that the past had changed. stan said that he doesnt remember why he misses sharon and shelly so much

im not the biggest fan of cartman obviously, i cheered whenever he had karma served to him in past episodes whenever he was a dick, got beaten up or his plans didnt go through, but in this one he was fighting so hard for his family and reformed life that its hard to feel happy when he ended up homeless in the end while everyone else got a happy ending - which compared to how their “bad ends” were, were not that bad. stan and kyle at least had a home and business and it wasnt like they couldnt get a partner like that?? well except for maybe butters, who ends up as a waiter instead of being an nft bro in a mental asylum...

anyways i kind of liked the previous special more than this bc of the surprise elements and the excitement of wanting to see the adult selves but i felt like i really wanted the latter part where they time travelled to be longer, bc it was the hype of the whole special? but it ended up happening in like the last 13 minutes of the special which is a huge bummer but i cant wait to see the next season, and how its gonna play out. im so tired of this whole covid thing (and the whole tegridy thing) so im looking forward to just. new stuff.

[pwnyta]

OK GONNA GRIPE!! Everyone in the world (like 5-6 people) said im allowed to and encouraged me but honestly most of my gripes are Bakugo as a character so I’ll try a little fix it... it will be under the cut.

BUT GRIPES-

The Sports Festival. I loved it... I thought it was great with some exceptions-

Bakugo v Uraraka is the most obvious example of Horikoshi bending characters to make Bakugo seem better than he is. Literally the whole festival no one says shit about the female contestants, its not a plot point, no ones bothered when Tokoyami vs Momo happens but Bakugo fights Uraraka and the whole ass stadium starts running their mouths about Bakugo being kind of an asshole and being mean to Uraraka cuz shes a soft girl even though shes holding her own and Momo panicked and lost in a sad way.

Bakugo attacked Shouto after knocking him out but he doesnt get disqualified. Even if Horikoshi wanted to set up the LoV targeting him he coulda just had them see the footage of Bakugo attacking Todo and his reaction to disqualification and figuring that hed be more willing to turn coat.

The relationships with Endeavor with Shoto and All Might is one of those things that seems like its going to be a set up for something... But never goes anywhere. All Might hadnt spoke to Endeavor for years before that moment when he asks Endeavor for advice on how to train kids because he was impressed with Shoutos performance but Endeavors like ‘I’ll turn him into someone who can surpass you thats why I MADE HIM‘ and All Mights like ‘wtf? wat‘ but it goes no where...

//end Sports festival kinda...

I have so many issues with how Horikoshi built Shouto as a character to be like on the same level as Deku and Bakugo but hes not apart of that group. Their connection as kids is All Might... Shouto should have learned about one for all and the three of them should grow together more.

IDKY Shouto has this past where All Might is his hero, hes one of the big three, but hes excluded.

All im saying is Shouto (and honestly Bakugo) could have used a lot more screen time.

----

During the training camp arc Tokoyami loses control of his Quirk and almost kills a handful of his classmates and is also grabbed by the LoV with Bakugo... and it NEVER COMES UP AGAIN.

Of course the traitor plot line thats ignored for a million years only to be brought up again just to say it never actually mattered... is another one of those ‘This was a good set up for something and you did nothing with it...‘ situation. I still think Kouda is possible. Theres no reason the Principal is an animal... theres no reason why Kouda could be able to pass the entrance exam where Shinso couldnt they basically have the same Quirk. Kouda is quiet and unassuming and he can communicate very easily in secret and could theoretically control Nezu and make him say shit like ‘Theres no war in Ba Sing Se‘ and everyone would just accept it.... But like its been so long why even bother... itd be weird.

Honestly Shinsos whole... thing is also weird. But he was brought back for... like no real pay off. His tragic story doesnt even make sense... people mocking him for having a ‘villains’ Quirk... this is similar to the Bakugo/Uraraka thing. Because thats not a thing... we dont see that literally anywhere else. I mean Shouji mentions that people think his face is a little scary but thats it. There are pros with scary Quirks and even scarier looks, Tokoyami has a literal sentient DARKNESS living in him and a bird face.... but Shinso has problems? Really.

The same can be said about the CRC. Theres a whole hate group youve created to bring up to make Spinner a little more sympathetic but its never been mentioned before or since even though there are characters in the main crew with animal/creature characteristics. Again Tokoyami is right there.

Kirishima is a weird character to have made as prominent as he is because hes got literally no connection to the main story. Shouto shoulda had his screentime. I love Kirishima and his little story with Fatgum and fighting that big bitch was fucking bitchin... but like? Why Kirishima... also whats with Crimson Riot? What does he or Kirishima have to do with anything.

Shouto has the connections. It shoulda been Shouto.

How the fuck did Hawks get away with tricking the LoV with a fake body of Best Jeanist? Why not just have Hawks kill him... it makes more sense and it helps build a case for the corrupt hero society(or at least the higher ups) a little if theyre willing to kill one of their own. I like Best Jeanist but its fucking weird.

And Ive already bitched enough about the corruption of hero society and the lack of evidence story-wise...

I genuinely thought something would go down with Tensei because him being attacked made no sense even though Stain is shown to be very consistent in his belief to the point of endangering himself as shown when he literally went out of his way to save Deku. So why the fuck did he attack Tensei when everything weve seen of the guy is just a good, considerate, selfless hero.

He could have also been used to set up the corruption BUT NOTHING COMES OF IT.

And I mean like some of this stuff could come up later... but its been drawn out so long its weird... a lot of this shit would likely have a continuous direct effect on the story at large if Horikoshi just didnt... ignore it.

NOW BAKUGO. But because everyone knows I hate him Im gonna put my money where my mouth is and try to make him a little better... Cuz hes fucking garbage.

OK First up... Keep him exactly how he is until this moment exactly-

This is the worst moment for me with Bakugo because I thought he looked like that because he was shocked at himself for doing something so fucked up.

Cuz he does want to be a hero and he looks up to All Might.

So after this moment he dials it back a little on the douchebaggery.... hes sorta more distant and still kind of a jerk but but hes more avoiding Deku/conflict until we get to the Sports Festival!

He cant help himself hes competitive and aggressive and the steeper the competition gets the more he falls back into being that hyper aggressive violent person he wants to not be.

The Sports Festival goes as expected and its not until after and he sees himself that he gets uncomfortable again and tries to mellow out again.

Then the practical exam happens and hes paired with Deku but instead of being needlessly antagonistic they actually DO work together... they can bicker and have different ideas of how to win but then get desperate by the end and actually work together cuz THIS-

WAS SO SHITTY. It didnt need to happen. Also earlier when Bakugo is being an asshole in class Aizawa fully acknowledges Bakugo going down a dark path... and does like nothing about it... (You cant really blame him... Baku gets away with everything.)

ANYWAYS. So they reluctantly work together and work well together... Bakugo still feels kinda shitty and annoyed that Deku is at his level..

-

When Bakugo gets snatched by the LoV I think could REALLY be the biggest turning point...

Instead of Bakugo just continuing on like he does maybe this would be a great moment for him to realize that dark path hes been on. The Villains speak to him and theyre like ‘youd be a great villain‘ and its like that scene in Dr Who when Nine flips out and screams at the last Dalek tells it to go and die... and the Dalek goes ‘Youd make a good Dalek‘ which just gut punches him.

Its like that Bakugo thinks about the shits hes been doing after the villains think they can convince him to join them, he thinks about All Might and his life long dream to be a hero and hes disturbed that he COULD be a villain.

They take off the cuffs... he attacks them as per usual but its not with that cocky attitude.

///Bakugo gets saved

He thanks Kirishima... and thanks the others. It can be a cute moment GDI!

The fight between Bakugo and Deku could be Bakugo asking Deku to spar. Thats what he wants. He wants to test the both of them and Deku agrees so when Aizawa gets pissed at them both ITS DESERVED instead of Aizawa punishing Deku for defending himself.

And that can still be the moment Bakugo has his little breakdown and blaming himself for All Mights retirement.

And then just go from there... Bakugos character development coulda been smooth

[margokesses]

Why are white women so obsessed with bucky. Its not the personality because theres no canon personality. He doesnt have a "misunderstood white boy" complex. One girl said "its the ✨trauma✨" (literally written like that) and that they can relate to his trauma but they cant relate to characters of colour?? And they always write him in disgusting situations. Why are they so attracted to him and why are there so many its weird. Its only ever either "he's so romantic perfect boyfriend material" or "poor bby hes so broken and only I can fix him" there is no inbetween. And ironically outside of them no one gives a shit about bucky. I have friends who are casual mcu viewers and they do not care for bucky a single bit. So why the fandom hyperfixation? Is it fetishisation?? Woobifying? Sorry for the long rant im just tired of them inserting bucky everywhere. A clip of steve and tchalla charging at thanos's army like the leaders they are and every single comment is "why isnt bucky there😩😩"

I encourage ranting about characters in my inbox lmao. Especially overrated ones.

I think bucky is popular bc he's played by a conventionally attractive actor and because he has a sad tragic backstory. That's it. Also he's not misunderstood?? Where is that coming from? Is it because he canonically murdered people and others are scared of him?? Honestly I would be too if I barely knew him/his story.

Also he does have trauma and the stuff he went through is had but like... there are way better heroes to like who have trauma? Like valkyrie! And sam! They're stories are essentially about trauma and how they're dealing with it. But noo fandom wants to focus on the white boy.

Also bucky is a bland character who's essentially a plot device. So its no wonder why casual mcu viewers just don't care for him. Anyways stan 616 bucky he's way more interesting...

Send me asks

[vicsep7250]

@ren-amamiyaa and their (he/she?) Golden Heist, Thief Nanako and Cryptid Chaser aus flooded my brain and now Im making this post bc I cant fit all of this in asks!!!

All right, so, idea. Cryptid Chasers, Thief Nanako and Golden Heist are all connected righr???

CC acts as a prequel, TN becomes the inbetween starring Nanako and Akechi, and GH stars a broken and older IT and slightly jaded PT.

So far CC has Yosuke and Naoto forming the brotp that fanon wanted through silly Saturday Night Ghost Chasers Shenanigans, Akiren is bein' a lil shit at midnight bc he needs an outlet and exercise to Phantom Thief. While this goes on, Akechi's ghost/spirit/rement/heart/whatever pulls pranks and shenans along with Joker (hiwever that happens).

As the Cryptid Chasers keep going out of their way to confront Joker about Arsene (bc even he likes to mess around) the other IT in Inaba start to try and stop them from disrupting the peace (read : harassing a known criminal) and this somehow leads to a falling out. Mayhaps Naoto and Yosuke break a few laws and Chie busts them, Kanji wants to know why theyre stalking his student/protege, and Yukiko just wants to keep the rumors about the inn in check bc jfc Yosuke STOP SCREECHING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE LOBBY THERE IS NO GHOST ON THE TV!

Maybe eventually they call it quits or dont bc Naoto dug this hole too deep to climb out themself and Yosuke is having the time of his life since Partner isnt around and hasn't come back to visit yet (Not sayin' souyo is canon and there but-). And the Cryptid Chasers arc probably ends here with there being some animosity towards their shenanigans , but the IT are all still friends.

Now fast forward to like, uhhh (*flings dart at wall of calendars*) 2014 during winter and Akiren's cryptid acts are now fully accepted and maybe exposed, who knows. Nanako is like 10 ~ 12 (P5 is maybe three/five years post P4 I believe) and is just going through the motions of public education. I.E. go to class, do work, get good grades. Dojima is still the same as he was before Yu came but is at least doing better at being a dad, not much but better. Yosuke and Ted aren't around as much bc Junes, Chie is transferred to Tokyo, Yukiko is busy managing the Inn, and Kanji is busy with work (as a teacher and crafts business owner). Rise unfortunately cant come visit and Big Bro now visits every other year.

Nanako starts to look back and wonder how things started to fall apart amongst the group and recalls that "delinquent" who came back at the same time the Cryptid^tm showed up and ruined the group. So now she starts to remember the good times when Big Bro came by and starts to notice some blanks around winter... Why was she in the hospital when she got kidnapled? Why does she remember these weird flashes of Big Bro and his friends and some monster?? And how come she tried to ask them anything about it they brushed her off each time???

The TV in her room flashes and soon she starts hearing things. She starts to move closer to the tv, as if she was in some sort of trance, as the sounds start to become voices to her. When she's directly infront of the screen she sees something... someone on it...

Nanako doesnt show up for breakast, or to school, and nobody seems to have seen her.

A full year passes on after that day. It starts off with a big search party of the IT and Social Links for the first two months, then after ankther three something stange happens... are people forgetting that Nanako existed or something? Everybody's starting to act like completely different peoplw than who they are too, some even end up hospitalozed due to severe headaches and such, and start claiming that Nanako was never around when she vanished or that she left Inaba or was already deamed dead or missing. This rings alarms in the IT's mimds as they search for answers, eventually all fully reuniting for the first time in years/months.

Naoto and Yosuke blame themselves bc they piece together her disappearance with the Cryptid + Ghost case and immediately get scolded for trying to pin their stupid kids game on a missing person's case - especially now with Nanako missing and possibly in danger again! Afterwards the IT are a bit on edge and a bit broken with the whole thing. Meanwhile Akechi can hear the tale ends of "missing person" and "literal disappearnace" and starts looking into this weird limbo metaverse he's in bc some shit is kinda fucked in here now for some reason. They're pretty much only together as a team to rescue Nanako.

GH in the PTs POV starts when Akiren invites the group to the Amagi Inn thanks to licrative money grin- I mean training. He comes clean into having seen something weird on the tv one late night and wants to let the gang know.

Midnight rolls around and Akechi shows up on the screen and the Thieves losing their shit is an understatement - numerous noise complaints were filed that night. Anyways Akechi decides to just play the role of "hey moron, some shits fucked come help fix it" and ends up informing them of a missing girl and this weird TV Mementos world he is in.

I would like to note that Akechi is not at all bitter or confused at everyone's circumstances in life, no of course not Joker stop crying I know its been a while but shutup theres a kid in trouble rn and youre the only ones who can possibly help her.

When the PT figure out a plan to reach this other world Goro is in (Arsene : THOUARTTHEESTICKYOURHANDINTHETVDOITDOITDOITDOIT) the IT eventually come to the very sad conclusion that Nanako moght be in the TV world and that opens a whole can of worms and burnable bridges to cross.

While in the TV world, I'd like to imagine that due to Akechi having been there for a good while it has been shaped to reflect his heart and be the new overall theme of that world. It all still looks like Inaba, but it all holds themes to Akechi and his no good terrible life. However due to Nanako having been in that world as a kid, and now for an uncertain amount of time, the world now holds motifs to the Heaven area from P4, but it's all sorta ruined and kinda darker.

When both teams get together and enter the weird Tele-Mentos world (IT in a Junes storage and PT at either Ren's pad [bc he moved out obvi] (OR bith teams enter from seperate TVs at the Inn so SHENANS!)) Yu and the IT go through Akechi's influenced world/TV Palace, finding out about his tragic backstory and involvement with the PT, but anything that can and could reveal their true identities is blurred and staticy or missing bc Akechi aint gonna snitch out who ruined his sperm donors life (also I guess saved the world too yeah). While going through the Palace the Team starts to think that finding Goro will just be an "if it happens" sort of deal bc he's been missing for years already, what if we just leave him here bc M U R D E R E R.

Cue a sudden appearance by someone in some sort of fallen angel garb who starts whipping out a full on Metal Gear Villain monologue about how hypocritical the IT are when they find the truth about Akechi's life and disappearance - they claimed to want to live in a world where no one hides in the fig, was that all a lie? Are they going back on their word, and hiding behind a shriud of lies and falsehoods once more? "You've gone and lied and hidden the truth already, what's to say you won't continue?"

Meanwhile Akiren and the Thieves enter at the very top of the Heaven TV Set and have to climb all the way down. As they do so they start seeing little murals or epitaphs about memories and people in this girls life. They see all of these memories of a happy girl who had such a loving family - both found and by blood. As they go further and further down the ruins start to look like an actual Heaven, and the scenary becomes more bright and colorful. Eventually they might run into Crow in his Black Mask clothes and give the bastard a slug on the arm and a group hug or two, bc man he doesn't deserve to suffer anymore like this.

Now that the Phantom Thieves have been reunited (Akechi : I can't leave this world The PT : FUCK, MORE PLOT) they end up thinking up ways to get Akechi out until this weird angel priest looking dude shows up and starts babling about how they are criminals and how they've done more bad than good and blah blah blah. Everyone is just all "We're the good guys, we do the right thing even if its morally grey/ambiguous!" and oh look! Another crazed maniac wants to kill us for our "injustice" *Crow has the decency to look away and not say anything* annnnnnd Heaven is locked off. Perfect.

Now maybe the Phantom Thieves and Investigation Team run into each other somewhere in Akechi's Palace and "You have Personas?!?!" "The hell is a Palace?" "YOU'RE THE CRYPTID OF INABA!!?!?" "And Im the 'Ghost' that follows him." "Wait you followed me as a ghost?" "WAIT WHY ARE THERE TWO AKECHIS??!??!!"

Oh yeah, Shadows... Akechi is still kinda in denial about the whole friends and justice thing...

And now the Dark Priest is back great ("Good name Skull" "Well I've got my moments right?").

Annnnnnnd now I have no idea what happens next and Im all burned out but AAAAAAAAA this entire AU crossover thing is so GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

[homestucky]

theres something so...... emotional abt terezi killing vriska because she thought it was the only ‘just’ option and the only way to save everyone who remained alive then three yrs later after being mortally wounded and everyone else she cared about having been killed, after going through an abusive relationship, having her eyes healed, and just losing like, everything. she calls on her seer powers to try and fix it. and she sees... that the solution is to save vriska. what seemed to be the only option three yrs ago is the very crux of everything that must be changed for the alpha timeline to prosper, despite the fact that both times, shes doing what her Sight is telling her she must. the doomed timeline where she killed vriska is clearly necessary since thats where john and roxy come from, but a by-product of that necessity is a dead terezi, simultaneously guilty of killing her friend, and saving her, and subsequently becoming a hero of the alpha timeline. this... alternate timeline terezi, who was never known by any of the alpha characters except john and roxy briefly, who was absolutely manipulated and tortured by her timeline just to create the right grounds for the alpha timeline...... shes honestly so important such a bittersweet and tragic character i s2g. and thats why when she sees (vriska) vriska as the afterlife shatters around them its so sad but its.... happy. theyre both free. im crying

[etherealskeletons]

started to think about why i kinda dont really like j***** is not only is he super in love with himself [and i find that Annoying,, like u can have confidence but maybe dont make urself out to be the next coming of jesus] but also he came from such a normal family that supports him no matter what and maybe im a lil bit super envy of that,,, bc like,,, my family on both sides made me feel VERY terrible about whatever problem i had and his is just?? so super supportive?? like theyd really love him no matter what and they actually try to understand whatever his disabilities are and whatever, which is great! yknow im happy when someone has a good upbringing and theyre successful and whatever!! but i cant help but feel kinda envious

also cant help but think ts WEIRD that theres people out there who like,, have family that truly loves them and whatever,,, nevr had any trauma from them?? like youre telling me you NEVER had your parent trap you in the car and drive around with you for 5 hours, jus yelling at you for being depressed and saying shit like “your shitty fucking attitude makes me wanna kill myself” ???? they jus,,, never did things like that and they love you and ACTUALLY try to help you when youre struggling??? deadass???? ok,,, sounds fake, but, ok,,,

mine would always SAY they love me and support me in whatever, but it was all fluff and words - it was all things you would say in front on your friends or other family members you dont see often so you can seem like a good parent or relative. they didnt mean any of it. when i had/have any symptom of mental illness and showed that i was actively struggling in something they either ignore it or give me such a hard time and tell me to stop faking it and then turn it around somehow to make it all about them and how im ruining their life and how im an embarrassment to them and how im jus this terrible messy thing but i cant leave them bc theyre nothing without me and besides noone would want me anyway bc im so shitty and they wouldnt understand me like they do so its better if i just stay here with them and jus,, put up with it bc theyre my family,,, and family always helps each other and loves each other and whatever

ND whats even MORE STUPID is like everyone in my family has some kinda mental illness nd they all knew they had it too like!! like my dad has adhd, my uncle is a fucking sociopath and claims to be on the spectrum but hes such a liar its hard to believe anything he says, both my mom and my aunt are either bipolar or have bpd, everyones fucking dyslexic and depressed i guess and had some form of anxiety. but like?? for whatever reason i couldnt have ANYTHING wrong with me??? like i wasnt allowed??? its so fucking stupid i hate it like there was sO many signs that i was on the spectrum or had adhd and was CLEARLY dyslexic and had terrible anxiety and depression and idk maybe i have bpd or bipolar idk!!!! either way my family jus went nothing is wrong with you now fix all of my fucking problems for some reason. idk what you fucking call it, emotional incest?? i was barely allowed to be a kid, everyone jokes that i was born to be a grown ass man when i was jus a wee lil babe and yea its funny i guess but its also kinda fucking tragic. kids shouldnt have to be the rock of the family, the one to fix everyones problems. i had to be the family therapist before i even knew what a fucking therapist was

my family also would have the audacity to be like your so lucky your not mentally ill you have no idea how hard it is to get sad sometimes, youre lucky to not be on the spectrum like so and so is they have it a lot worse than you do so count ur blessings bc jesus rlly blessed you with no mental health prblems :// nd aye,,, still think about that,,,

my ENTIRE childhood if i ever made any fucking mistake around either of my parents they would switch into this fucking terrifying creature and like throw shit and yell and scream and i would cowerin the corner and cry and they would yell at me like DONT FUCKING DO THAT IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE IM ABUSING YOU and like my dad doesnt do that anymore lim thankful hes not as bad now but iremmember even just spilling a drink would set him off and i would have to go its okay its okay ill clean it up rlly quick im sorry im osrry and hed just awlays go off on this tangent and his favorite thing to say was “smarten up” and i hated those words they made me so upset and id be crying for hours feeling like the stupidest piece of shit bc i did something like spill a fucking drink or was a little too loud at the post office. i was trying i was always fucking trying and my mistakes were always so fucking stupid or something that a kid would do. i wasnt allowed to be a fucking kid or make any fucking mistakes so now im just terrified of doing anything as an adult and everyone is like why are you like this/?? you had such a normal family why are you like this why why hwy??

nd then i feel bad bc not everyone in my family is terrible, like my dad isnt all that bad but he did,, a lot of damage growing up. like hes not bad these days he really mellowed out, but he use to have explosive moments and he would say some of the meanest shit and its obvious he had a lot of problems bc of my mother and whatever other abusive girlfriends he had so anytime i did anything like,, stupid or was kinda snarky i would get compared to her. and i cnt really talk to him about it?? like i could but it wouldnt do any good. itd just make him sad and hed go on about how he tried his best and like i know you did and i know you were young when you had me and how you didnt know and whatever but like,, still hurts man,, like i love you but sometimes you make me so fucking anxious and idk!!!!!! idk,,, i feel like im your fucking parent and ive been feeling it since i was a kid and i still do and its hard to unlearn everything that was dogtrained into you and its hard to just act like some of the things you said to me as a kid dont still like,, haunt me,,

[cptnbeefheart]

aye but i dont think they were unsuccessful bc of brian? and i think the reason i personally get so attached to brian is because his death was so tragic, and theres this narrative that he was the odd one out of the group. (some people think keith was mean to him? i think they get this from the fact that keith started dating anita right after she was in a 2 year relationship w brian... i agree that is shitty to do to your friend but its not like anita didnt have agency..)

It is true that he carried the business side of the band for the first couple years but idk. i think its just the sad boy shit that people like about him?he’s honestly a motherfucker and by the time he was 19 im p sure he had like 3 baby mommas and didnt give any of them $ or attention because he was too busy being a rock star. overall he is a sack of shit but i think the reason i personally attach is because i have a weird “must fix bad men” thing and i project that onto him. I remember reading/hearing george harrison say something along the lines of “brian jones would still be alive if he had gotten a little more love” and idk how true that is but it made me feel a lot more sorry for him. I still do even though he was a dick! And charlie is fersure the best person out of them all 😎

No nuance November Rolling Stones edition

- Brian is overrated in the fandom. Ok no jones no stones but... they didn’t even experience their most successful and creative periods with/because of him... thanks for the marimba in lady Jane though love that one

- Charlie is the “best guy” bc he cleaned up for his family and didnt engage in extramarital activities and was a reliable father as far as my knowledge goes. He isn’t as popular just bc he’s not as exciting™ as the other fools and people value sensationalism over duty... but sex drugs and rock and roll am i right

- jokes about wondering how keith is still alive aren’t funny

- the little mick era was.. impeccable. Superior. Made them the successful legends they are now

- along with that, mick t and keith were the best duo bc they matched each other’s talent and creativity.... mick had the best solos

- however, they did fall into the lead/rhythm guitar thing... the weaving with Ronnie is chef’s kiss

- bill didn’t do a whole lot and was a groomer and has said gross things about women in general..... bill was the worst one. And he derived the baseline for miss you so like what was special about him?

- The Rolling Stones™ brand is so obsessed with selling stuff to fans....

- keith has always been the hottest. I will accept zero debate on this

- keith’s rotting tooth was gross but dare i say kinda hot

- Let it Bleed, Sticky Fingers, and Exile are the best albums

- Some Girls goes first in the tier directly below top tier^^^

- Keith NEVER misses with his songs... not only are they just good (as in not bad) but they are GREAT...

- it’s kinda weird all of them attended bill’s wedding with mandy.... and they never said anything about it....

- i hate the fact mick and keith wrote stray cat blues... should have been on a sexual predator assault list for a second because of that like goddamn

- the band was God’s work bc it HAS to be divine intercession that mick and keith were at the same station at the same time and recognized each other AND developed similar tastes AND were extraordinarily talented

- they should have collared with the Beatles at least once... i mean mick hung out with them in the studio for revolver, Paul was with keith during beggars’ banquet recordings, john performed at rock and roll circus, Paul and keith wrote music together, I’ve read praises about Paul and john and George from keith.... why didnt they work together then??????

- their blues era 🥺

- KEITHS BACKING VOCALS

- KEITHS BACKING VOCALS ON THE BLUES SONGS (please reference if you need me)

[morganbelarus]

Police confirm death of Frightened Rabbit singer Scott Hutchison

Police discovered body at Port Edgar near South Queensferry at 8.30pm on Thursday, with Hutchisons family informed

Police in Scotland have confirmed the death of Frightened Rabbit singer Scott Hutchison, after his body was discovered following his disappearance on Wednesday.

Police made the discovery at Port Edgar near South Queensferry in Edinburgh at 8.30pm on Thursday, with Hutchisons family informed. Hutchison, 36, was last seen at 1am on Wednesday, when he left the Dakota hotel in South Queensferry.

The band had posted a message on Twitter asking for anyone with information to contact police, adding: We are worried about Scott, who has been missing for a little while now. He may be in a fragile state and may not be making the best decisions for himself right now.

Fans sent messages of support, summed up by Hutchisons brother and bandmate, Grant, who told Radio X earlier this week: The supports been immense Theres nothing that is so insurmountable that we cant figure it out together and help you to get better and were all here for you and we all love you very much.

Scott Hutchison playing with second band Mastersystem on 28 April. Photograph: Danny Payne/Rex/Shutterstock

After hearing of his death, Frightened Rabbit posted a message on Instagram reading: There are no words to describe the overwhelming sadness and pain that comes with the death of our beloved Scott but to know he is no longer suffering brings us some comfort ... he leaves a legacy of hope, kindness and colour that will forever be remembered and shared.

Hutchison had addressed mental health difficulties in his songwriting. In an interview published on Noisey last week, he described his mood: Middling. On a day-to-day basis, Im a solid six out of 10. I dont know how often I can hope for much more than that. Im drawn to negatives in life, and I dwell on them, and they consume me.

In a 2016 interview, he spoke of experiencing anxiety attacks, and of how affected he was by his emotions: Ive always seen that kind of emotional turmoil as an illness. Its one that lasts for quite a long time and cant be fixed. You know, you describe it as a hurt why would you describe it as that if it werent actually painful? Its not just mental torment.

Hutchison formed Frightened Rabbit initially as a solo project in 2003, before Grant joined him to record their debut album in 2006. The band expanded to a five-piece, and amassed a loyal following for their soul-baring, emotionally rich songwriting, including Aaron Dessner of US band the National who produced their most recent album, 2016s Painting of a Panic Attack Dessner said he was devastated, and called Hutchison a dear soul and a brilliant songwriter.

Robert Smith of the Cure had invited them to appear at Meltdown festival, which he is curating in London in June, and the band were also set to support US singer-songwriter Father John Misty in concert in May.

Hutchison had recently completed a tour with the band to celebrate the 10th anniversary of their breakthrough 2008 album, The Midnight Organ Fight, and another with his other band, Mastersystem. He had recently spoken of plans for a sixth Frightened Rabbit album, saying: I would like for that to be finished by the end of the year.

Among tributes to the singer, the radio DJ Edith Bowman tweeted: You ok fella? Sending love and a shoulder if you need it to Scott after his final messages wrote on Twitter: Cant really believe Im reading this. Saddest awakening ever. Love and best wishes to all the Hutchison and Frabbit family.

Stuart Murdoch from Scottish band Belle and Sebastian wrote: Tragic news about Scott Hutchison. The whole music community in Scotland was praying for a different outcome. Folks, if you are up against it, having dark thoughts, please tell someone, family, a friend or a doctor. There is always another way, though it might not seem like it. Mogwais Stuart Braithwaite said Hutchison was a lovely, warm talented guy and was loved by so many people, while Franz Ferdinands Alex Kapranos called his death a terrible loss.

In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Hotlines in other countries can be found here.

Original Article : HERE ; This post was curated & posted using : RealSpecific

=> *********************************************** Post Source Here: Police confirm death of Frightened Rabbit singer Scott Hutchison ************************************ =>

Police confirm death of Frightened Rabbit singer Scott Hutchison was originally posted by 16 MP Just news

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Glenn Close: You lose power if you get angry

From vengeful mistress to Agatha Christie matriarch: the actor talks about Harvey Weinstein, mental illness and growing up in a cult

Glenn Close and I sit at the corner of a large boardroom table in an intimidatingly minimalist office on the 14th floor of a Los Angeles talent agency. Its the kind of environment in which Patty Hewes, the ruthless lawyer Close played in Damages for five seasons, would feel at home and Im almost waiting for her to stand up, slam both hands on the table and shout, Ill rip your face off or any of the other terrifying put-downs that defined her double Emmy award-winning performance.

But Close is in high spirits and radiates such warmth I barely notice the chill from the tower blocks air-con. After we fiddle with the settings on our swivel chairs, which are so high they make anyone under six foot kick their legs like a child on a swing, the 70-year-old, six-time Oscar nominee and star of stage, television and film starts telling me about her dreams. I have had a lot recently, full of this wonderful love for a younger man. The dreams just keep coming and I wake up thinking, that was wonderful! It wasnt necessarily us doing the sexual act, just the feeling of love.

With her white hair cut to a sharp crop, and wearing a relaxed navy blazer, chinos and black scarf on account of the arctic corporate temperature, she looks stylish and fit. I have never felt better in my life, and I am, like, 70, she says. Im really a late bloomer.

She says she feels a disconnect between how she sees herself and how people may view me when I walk down the street, like: Theres an old lady. You know, there is now this cult of the model. Everyone on the red carpet is made into a model. That is very hard to not play into I have a bit of podge I am trying to get rid of, but its hard. I just think, Oh fuck, Ive been doing this my whole life! But the irony is, you just get better and better with age. You dont feel less alive or less sexy.

In Agatha Christies Crooked House. Photograph: Nick Wall

We are here to talk about Crooked House, the Agatha Christie adaptation debuting on Channel 5, before its theatrical release, in which Close plays Lady Edith, a matriarch of a very dysfunctional family. Close says, Christies grandson came to the set and he validated the fact that it was her favourite book, and the one that had never been adapted. He said when she handed it to the publisher, she was told she had to change the ending, because it was too upsetting and controversial. She refused. Its still pretty controversial.

This production, co-written by Julian Fellowes, might not be as spendy as Kenneth Branaghs $55m Murder On The Orient Express, but the ensemble cast is equally starry: joining Close are Gillian Anderson, Max Irons, Terence Stamp and Christina Hendricks. Close presides over her co-stars with gravitas and grace, in an understated performance that finds the humour in an otherwise bleak setup. But youd expect nothing less from the actor whose 40 years in the business started with star turns in Broadway productions (she won a Best Actress Tony in 1983 for Tom Stoppards The Real Thing). Her first film role, at the age of 35, was with Robin Williams in The World According To Garp, for which she received an Oscar nomination as she did for her supporting roles in The Big Chill and The Natural. Her performances in Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons and Albert Nobbs, about the life of a transgender butler in late 19th century Ireland, which she also co-wrote, racked up further Oscar nominations but still no win. This is seen by many as a travesty: Close brings a precision to her film work, honed through her years on stage. She has that rare taut quality Jack Nicholson also has it where you believe that beneath the steely control she is capable of snapping at any moment.

It was this that led Andrew Lloyd Webber to cast her in 1993 as the tragic silent movie star Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway. Close reprised the role 23 years later, getting her old costumes out of storage (she has kept all her costumes and recently donated the collection to a university in Indiana) for its revival in Londons West End.

As Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction: Clearly she had mental health issues. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

But it was her Oscar-nominated turn as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction in 1987 that proved career-defining. Thirty years on, Close still counts Forrest as the character of whom she feels most fond; she has admitted to fighting tooth and nail against the films eventual denouement, which turned the character into a bunny-boiling psychopath and Close into the casting directors go-to woman on the verge for years afterwards. Now we have the vocabulary to talk about these things, clearly she had mental health issues, she says.

Close sits regally still as she speaks, emphasising her points by leaning forward and locking eyes. Shes comfortable with silences and often takes a theatrical beat or two before answering questions. Shes all poise and control, but does she ever lose her temper?

I express my feelings quietly. I am not afraid of confrontation, but I am not particularly good at it. If I get attacked, I am not good at attacking back. There is fight, flight and freeze and I tend to freeze. That is not a strength of mine. I love the fact that my daughter Annie [Starke, an actor] is more of a fighter than I am. She doesnt let people get away with shit. While she agrees that women have a harder time being angry, publicly, than men, she says, I have played a lot of characters, and actually anger makes you lose power. Patty Hewes [in Damages] she hardly ever lost her temper, but when she did, it was very specific. I have always felt you lose power if you get that angry.

The collective outpouring of anger among women in Hollywood right now is something of which Close is acutely aware. She says that sexism in the industry has shifted more slowly than it should have done throughout her career: It took Harvey Weinstein and someone calling him out [for real change to happen]. I know Harvey, and he has never done that to me, but people would say he was a pig. I never knew that it was that bad and I dont personally know anybody who has endured that. I would like to think that I would have done something about it.

We discuss whether its possible to separate the work from the personalities involved in it. News has just broken that House Of Cards will be back for another series without Kevin Spacey, after it was originally canned because of harassment claims brought against its leading man. Close wraps her scarf around her chest and fixes me with her electric eyes. Artists, to make a huge generality, walk on a very thin line. Sometimes, like my beloved friend Robin Williams, who was one step away from madness, whatever makes them a great artist also makes them very complicated human beings. Again, that doesnt mean they can prey on and abuse people.

With Harvey Weinstein in 2013. Photograph: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

At the root of the problem of sexism in Hollywood right now is, Close says, biology. I think the way men have treated women, from the beginning of time, is because they have different brains to women. So I am not surprised by it at all. I say to a guy, Tell me the truth, if you see a woman walk into a room, what is the first thought that goes through your head? His answer, always, is, Would I fuck her? It doesnt mean they act on it. If you can evolve into a society where men know that they should not always act on it then there has been a positive revolution. But you cant just say that theyre not going to have the thought that is ridiculous. It also has to be the women, who are not powerful, to be OK to say no and leave the room. I think its unrealistic to say were going to change but we have to evolve.

I ask Close who she thinks is a great man today. She is silent, thinking, for what feels like a full 60 seconds in which I am so tempted to throw out some options: Barack Obama, the Pope, the friendly security guard on reception who let us in

Nelson Mandela, is her final answer, but Im not sure shes convinced. I guess for me, she says, greatness is taking your humanity and still doing the good thing. Its sad to say that there are very few men, who are leaders, who have some sort of moral code that they dont deviate from because of popular opinion.

She thinks we are undergoing a crisis of masculinity: In the public mind, yes. I was outraged when I heard that there was a war against men I was like, are you joking? What do you think has been happening against women for centuries?

Close knows all too well about the misuse of power, because her own upbringing was, as she puts it, complicated. When she was seven, her parents joined a cult. Moral Re-Armament or MRA was a modern, nondenominational movement founded by an American evangelical fundamentalist which extolled the four absolutes: honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. Her father, a physician working in the Congo, sent Close with her brother and two sisters from the family home in Greenwich, Connecticut, to live at the MRA HQ in Caux, Switzerland (Closes mother, Bettine, was a socialite).

She is vague on the details but clear on the impact this experience had on her as a teenager: I was repressed, clueless and guilt-ridden. The timeline is patchy, but Close travelled with MRA in the 60s as a member of their musical groups, and spent time back in Connecticut at an elite boarding school. I had a wonderful time at Rosemary Hall, a girls school, she says. I was in a renegade singing group called the Fingernails: A Group With Polish. But she remained, as she calls it clueless. A lot of my friends knew boys youd have these horrendous dances with boys schools and they would get the guys they wanted and I would just stay with the person I was with.

As Patty Hewes in Damages. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She was briefly married before going to university. It is a complicated story for me. I was married before college, and kind of in an arranged marriage when you look back on it, and my marriage broke up when I went to college, as it should have. I was 22. But my liberal arts school had a wonderful theatre that was my training, my acting school.

Was that where she finally learned about sex, popular culture, the ways of the world? Not really, she says. I still am learning.

Close has two sisters, Tina the eldest, and Jessie her younger sister; and two brothers, Alexander, and Tambu Misoki, who was adopted by Closes parents while living in Africa. At the age of 50, Jessie spent time in a psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a weight that had been hanging over the family, undiscussed, for years. Talking about mental illness just wasnt done, Close says. You dont have a vocabulary for it and youre also very aware of appearances. You dont want to appear a crazy family.

In 2010 Close founded Bring Change to Mind, a charity that aims to end the stigma around mental illness by talking openly about it and its effect on families. It was my nephew who was first diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. This is basically schizophrenia with an ingredient of bipolar. And when that happened, it was like, What? My sister Jessie, his mother, didnt know what was wrong. He went to the hospital for two years and that saved his life. Then Jessie was, finally, correctly diagnosed herself.

With sister Jessie in 2009. Photograph: Getty Images

Close felt a duty to her family to give them a high-profile person who is not afraid to talk about it publicly. It affects the whole family. We always knew my grandmother and mother had depression my sister does, I do to a certain extent. But I didnt know my great-uncle had schizophrenia. I knew my half-uncle died by suicide. There was a lot of alcoholism addiction, self-medication. Nobody ever talked about it. I knew my grandmother was depressed, but at first I thought she lived in a hotel, not a hospital, because she always said how good the food was.

Close says she and her siblings are of one mind politically, but admits she does have members of her family who voted for Trump. I tried to understand that. Theyre not crazy people who have been brainwashed by Fox News, but I try to understand the anger, because I think that has been building up ever since Watergate. It was watching that scandal unfold that made her realise Americans have always been naive, we just take for granted what we have, and we always thought of our leaders as good people. With Watergate, people became cynical about government.

Today, she says, Washington is a bunch of self-serving She searches for an expletive and after a second settles on men. She says, Its hard to believe that people are so out for themselves. It goes against what you would like to believe about your country. I feel eloquence is incredibly important for a leader, and we had that with Barack Obama, who made his initial impact because he gave that incredibly eloquent speech, but he lost his eloquence in his presidency. We always need someone to say, I hear you, someone who can put their words into unity and hope and we dont have that. I think the last person may have been Robert Kennedy.

And now you have Trump tweeting nonsense.

Its devastating. Social networks are now like our nervous system, and if you keep pumping that kind of crap into the nervous system, it is going to have an effect on a population.

With Kevin Kline in The Big Chill. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Close doesnt talk politics with her friends because she doesnt really have many friends. I have always forced myself into situations I am not comfortable in. I am an introvert, and I was painfully shy as a child. I think I still have a big dollop of that in my persona. I read a book called Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking and it was a real comfort to me I realised I was that person I had always been. And it was at that point I told myself to stop pushing myself into situations that I dont enjoy. I dread cocktail parties.

She tells me shes pretty reclusive and can count her closest friends on two fingers. I ask if shes still good friends with Meryl Streep.

I have never been close friends with Meryl. We have huge respect for each other, but I have only done one thing with her, The House Of The Spirits.

I apologise for assuming they were pals, being of a similar age and stature in Hollywood, and admit this negates my next question: Who would win in an arm wrestle, you or Meryl?

Close laughs. Oh, I would, because I am very strong.

***

The tightest bond Close has is with her only daughter Annie, 29. Annies father is the film producer John Starke whom Close dated for four years from 1987, but never married. Annie was never a door-slamming, difficult teenager. Close tells me: When my Annie was three, she looked at me, and said, I want you. I knew what she meant. I, at the time, was a single working parent, sometimes even when I was home, working or producing something, I was there and not there.

With daughter Annie Starke in 2010. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She doesnt think its any easier for working mothers today and acknowledges, I had it easy because I could afford to have help think of the women who cant afford it and have to put their child in some shaky childcare centre. No, I think it is incredibly hard for women. Any person, in any profession, feels that tug [of guilt]. We discuss the intimacy of the single-parent, only-child bond. Once, I went to vacuum Annies car seat as we were moving house, and a lot of life had happened there, so I was crying. She said, Mummy, are you OK? I said, Yeah, Im OK. And she said, Here I am.

She was married to businessman James Marlas from 1984 to 1987 and then, following other relationships, including that with Starke, she married again, in 2006, to venture capitalist David Evans Shaw, divorcing him nine years later.

Would she marry again?

I dont know.

Does she think marriage is important?

I think it is a positive evolutionary component that we are better with a partner. I think to have a partner that you can go through life with, creating a history with, that you can find a comfort with, have children with there is nothing better. This is an opinion I have come to very late in life, at an ironic moment, where I dont have any of that. I dont know if I will again. But I do think its a basic human need to be connected.

Despite this, shes happy on her own right now. This is a good time in life. I do think, what would it be like to have a partner again? But it would have to be very different from what I had before. Then I have that great dream and wake up happy.

Crooked House is on Channel 5 at 9pm on 17 December.

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Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/dec/16/glenn-close-harvey-weinstein-mental-illness-cult-fatal-attraction

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[diaryofan-f-listpornstar-blog]

im pretty confident i wanna just die im torn weather this is the end or the beginning of my coming of age mid 20s movie my whole life ive had this thing about me where people just seem to be anti me. it sounds crazy but theres been like tons of situations like the time i was at a party in high school and this guy said dont tell no one i was here and smiled and said alright guy. i aint really know him. he thought inwas bein sarcastic and choked me. i hate him i still wanna fuck him up. theres this other time where we had this dumb assignment where we had to break social norms and we couldnt really think of anything ground breaking so we decided to buy some drink from starbucks using pennies. when my friend did it they compt his drink thinkin it was funny. when i did it they made me count the whole thing up. i mean i know that was probably what was gonna happen but it always bothered me. instead of getting by on charm and looks i learned i had to have some sort of function to be valuable and liked. now that im like hella an adult i hate this part of me. i feel like just so far away from people emotionally. im probably simultaneously going through some of the best and worst shit right now and im finding my depression really hard to deal with. i cant really take care of myself lately and i know thats only making me uglier and uglier. this punk house im in has low morale and no hot water and every sink is clogged. i been just too sad to like bring myself to fix anything. im going to paris in less then 2 weeks because people like my clothing. thats cool but im like just so stuck in this fog i like dont even care. on top of this i just feel like my relationship with grace is kind of phasing out. she has another partner and i cant find one because depressed and working alot to make this fashion bullshit work. i dont even know what i want out of life right now. like this is cool and i know success in it is around the corner but i feel like its just that servant part of my life highlighted? is tgat weird like im just out here makin shit that i dont even have a strong meaning for its just random shit and then i have to depend on influencers selling my shit cause they make it "cool" i serve a function to all tge people i see day to day. on top of this my brother with skitzophrenia calls me and begs me to come live with me while half crying half laughing and hea just so fucking far gone its really fucking hard to handle. i just try and be positive and tell him that people arnt out to get him but i feel like were just a few months away from some tragic episode where hell kill someone or hurt himself really bad. hes already had 3-4 different cop scenerios where they had to hold him down and tranqualize him for almost beating up his mom and brothers because he thinks theyre ruining him? on top of this man i just wish my dad was here to navigate this static but hes gone because he did too much meth. he lost his handle too. this bloodline must be cursed or somthing everyone seems crazy and fucked up. on top of this while looking for our porn online i find a shiiiit load like everywhere. and every. single. one. with a comment section is just people baffled by how ugly and hideous i am and how small my dick is. i swear my dick was average like 5.5 but now im all fucked up about that. like its more then popular opinion that im ugly and unlikeable and mow unfuckable. i mean it just kinda verifies all that other shit i was freaking out over when i started this blog. i cant shake this i hate myself mantra i dont know who can help and i just want to be choked to death. i think the only reason i keep going is because my mom invested so much into me that if i killed myself she probably would too. and i cant do that to her. i fee so fucked up and sad and i just feel like my life is a big joke but like a joke told at an empty comedy club where theres just a few drunks who go for the bar because they have the cheapest well drinks.