#was supposed to study but here we are
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spent the whole day in bed on my phone someone please assassinate me
#i just can't stop wasting time...#was supposed to study but here we are#this whole month was horrible tbh#started the new year with covid my birthday was absolutely underwhelming & now i'm suffering from neck pain#i start physical therapy on tuesday i'm so anxious but i just hope it helps :(#i'm only 3 weeks into school & i'm already so sick & tired of it all#i'm tired of having exams every fucking week & having to study all the time#i also need to schedule a meeting with the principal of the school bc i have too many sick days#i'm so scared they won't let me graduate bc i missed a lot of school days but what can i do when i have so many health issues :(#this year definitely didn't start out great for me & i can feel myself getting depressed again#it feels like every year is just worse than the previous one#i think my problem is that i just want my life to magically get better without putting in any effort myself#but i'm just so TIRED of everything life shouldn't be so hard#and i hate how i'm just constantly complaining instead of taking action but it just feels like everything i do is always in vain#like i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying but i'm hanging on by a thread#to quote kafka: i could have built the pyramids with the effort it takes me to cling on to life and reason#😔😔😔#☁️
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Okay so i think Akaashi works really really hard.
And what are we gonna do with an over-working boi?
That's right~
Bonus: A CLOSE UP FOR YA bc they're such cuties
#this was supposed to be a pose study at first :)) i didn't even plan on drawing them#but how can i NOT draw them#sooo the composition is kinda off here#BUT WE GOT BOKUAKA SMOOCHINGGG#i had fun drawing this#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#bokuaka#bokuto koutarou#akaashi keiji
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Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they#worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic#with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers#I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories#and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that#but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here#u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others#don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice?#nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it????#im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop#could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that#while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures#yapping#vent
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Happy summer, everybody!
This has been a big project to take and while there's stuff to improve I'm pretty happy with it. Be sure to zoom in the big picture for details and read the comic from left to right. (Needless to say, please don't try A.B.A's behaviour.. For your safety)
Bonus doodle:
#a.b.a#paracelsus#slayer#guilty gear#I almost forgot slayer's shirt pattern! I was also supposed to draw his cape floating over sharon to shield her from the sun but...#this whole drawing collection took roughly a month to complete and I forgot. I'm too tired right now#speaking of. it's my first time drawing sharon I hope she's okay!#yes slayer carries and wears in the nose his 200 spf sunscreen from xrds treasure hunt animation :)#as for the big main picture. it left me quite exhausted and I know the lighting leaves a lot to be desired but I'm proud! learnt a lot#first time drawing blue para too. I hope his metallic sheen is alright#more than aba's skin sheen for sure. I'll improve it in the future! btw tweaked a bit her attire's palette from last time and made her keep#the headband cause trying to figure out how her hair would properly fall was a hassle lmao#fun fact: the bird is an european herring gull#the crab is an edible crab and the palm trees are coconut palm trees with no fruit lol#I wanted to draw fan palms which are a kind of palm tree that deserves more love but the leaf shape was so difficult to draw#I did struggle a lot with these two.. they look more like feathers but again. that can be studied and improved in the future#despite all the lows summertime can have for me whenever it's a nice day and we can go to the beach I feel everything is worth it and will#be okay. hope I could translate that here. hi new people I tend to ramble a lot in my post tags#art tag2b named#sharon
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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any trans person should get HRT for free (no insurance required) and in exchange they should participate in the occasional study/survey.
research into sex hormones and their effects is so scarce and you have a whole ass population group who's willing to not only switch up their hormones but keep it up for very long periods of time. you could run some incredible long term studies with participants across all sorts of demographics.
while it's impossible to conduct any blind studies on this due to observable change in appearance, there's still so so so much data we're giving up on because we'd rather...
lemme check my notes. that cant be right.
...because we'd rather deny trans people health care and let them die. huh.
#trans#transgender#ramble#queer#lgbtq#genderqueer#hrt#trans hrt#crimes against the gender convention#someone make me a scientist im onto something#like yes obviously science needs funding and shit but if we can stuff dead fish into mri machines we can give out some pills#we have a... grasp on physical changes but even that is limited#effects on behavior have like. 3 studies in 30+ years or something like that#and we cant really extrapolate from animal experiments because human brains are so much more complex#and what about variants!! id fucking love to take a fucked up lil cocktail to see which aspects of a physical transition can be isolated#like if i take testosterone i am SO gonna start balding but theres supposed combinations that would inhibit the effect on hair loss/growth#but i cant have that because theres not enough science on it to get it approved here (especially if insurance is involved)#hello i am the science lemme do it!! gimme!!!!#id even let you float me in a vat of mysterious green liquid#actually that seems like a benefit
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guys. guys i made my first edit ever and-- i'm so proud of it what
whenever i listened to the song (paul cover by cavetown) i was like "that's so them. it would be amazing if someone made an edit."
so i made it. my first edit ever
honestly thinking of starting tiktok just to post this
#school bus graveyard webtoon#schoolbus graveyard#school bus graveyard#aidlyn#aiden clark#aiden sbg#ashlyn sbg#ashlyn banner#ashden#sbg (webtoon)#sbg#sbg ashlyn#sbg aiden#edit#i gave like 4 hours to this its 4 am here rn#while i was supposed to study for exams#but oh well here we are
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I can't believe I'm being made to ride or die for Taylor Swift but some of the Christians condemning other Christians for listening to her are behaving like they've never heard a song before
#some of y'all never studied poetry or narrative in school#they'll say 'here are the lyrics that prove she has a Jezebel spirit!'#and the example: 'I would've died for your sins'#HUH?????#AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO EMULATE CHRIST'S SACRIFICE??#H U H ?????#X#Christianity#TSwift#I am not usually a proponent of Death of the Author but these people are like 'there is no such thing as subjective interpretation at all.#beep. boop.'
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i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
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some of u are normal. some of u shipped ramsay with theon when game of thrones was airing. i wont admit which group i belonged to.
#my shameful past………..#i dont really ship it in like a … they are in love way morw in a like…. i want to study them under. a microscope way#so deranged so disgustingly evil#theon raskolnikov dostoyevsky coded greyjoy#meets ramsay de sade 1000 days of sodom snow#was i not supposed to be intruiged by the dynamic??????????#heres to hoping we have it all in the books (theon killing ramsay then killing himself via self immolation 🥰)#never tbe water not the water his guilt would never let him return to the ocean#thramsay#game of thrones
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i clearly need the motivation so im not allowed to start knitting or crocheting anything until the introduction is done
#it shouldn't take long. i just need to sit down and write it#im blaming my sister cause we were supposed to study in the afternoons while she is here and we havent#i am allowed however to keep looking at patterns to decide what ill make#jo says stuff#university update
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trans obi-wan be upon ye
#was this supposed to be a little anatomy study thing?#yes#yes it was#but this is what we got#yes i made him trans bcs i have that power here#also its in honor of me booking my top surgery consultation next month or whatever#i love the little colourful plasters everywhere aesthetic sm and i wanted to try that as well#dont look too hard at the hands in this one please#obi wan kenobi#star wars#star wars art#obi wan star wars#trans obi wan#my art <3#fanart#sw fanart#i may have got a little carried away with the background here too#practice is practice though i guess
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I wasn't sure about posting these here but they're literally not naked (I mean they were at first but I covered them up for show) so it's good they can be here.
#these were supposed to be studies of sitting positions but then they became studies of color but then they became studies of bodies#so here we are#enjoy#misa amane#touta matsuda#fanart#death note#jayjamjar4 2024 art#jayjamjar4 art#op
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Google history:
How do I bring back the laugh in my dad's eyes before he married again?
#Tw vent#I don't want her here anymore#She's hurting him and idk what to do abt it#“You just focus on your studies”#Yeah how tf am I supposed to do that when my mom is in another country and my dad is not as strong as he used to be#I worry too much abt him#I worry too much abt my mom#And this woman isn't supporting us emotionally in the slightest#I couldn't give 2 shits abt her#I don't want her interfering with me or my sisters#I wish my dad took everything into consideration bcs I don't know him anymore#He isn't smiling when we make a stupid joke#He isn't laughing at his dad jokes#He's assuming so many things now#I can't do it
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1933 walking nightmare clemente is real
#mafia 2#alberto clemente#avart#^ i dont want to actually study how clip studio works so. just super shitty artttt here we go. sorry alik it wasnt supposed to be this bad
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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