#was SO satisfying. it was so cool to figure out
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creach blast
yes
no problem!!!
Enjoy the challenge. Relish in it. For once you overcome it, the challenge is over.
Then you can master it!
me having to censor these ask posts because of spoilers!!
thank you for loving da game!! The idea was very simple, which is assign "attacks" to directions, which moves you around! The real thing was executing this in a good way and making sure it was fun despite being unfamiliar to everyone.
Think of it as like instead of knocking enemies back, its using knockback ( to yourself) to your advantage in all situations! That was definitely a core concept. Making it hard control gives your actions a lot more weight, and thus a lot more rewarding when you do something cool!
A lot of the more complex ideas emerged during development when I ask, how can I make this more complex and satisfying without overwhelming the player? How can I keep it fresh and teach players something new every single puzzle?
The most important thing is keeping their options open and letting them take the time for themselves. If you solve it in an unintended way, cool! If it required out of the box thinking, very cool!
Maintaining consistent and believable behavior with the mechanics, while following logic from previous lessons was also incredibly important. I made everything quite deliberately and tried my best to teach players without using any words ( except that one part )
Giving the player the "AHA" moment as much as possible and letting them figure everything out, and the "WTF I could do this the whole time" feeling were also the key goals I wanted to hit as well!
Thank you for playing bat to the heavens!
Thank you so much for enjoying and playing!! I'm glad it could have such an impact on anyone!!
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thistleclaw is very involved with both of their original stories … how is he related to them in this rewrite?
@mrcow101 (sorry for not answering separetly but together fits better)
No art here, don't know what to put sorry
Okay so, tw for mentions of grooming, I gotta mention Spottedleaf's Heart because a lot of the divergences from the au would directly take place in the timeline of the book, TLDR if you don't want to read my "This is why Spottedleaf's Heart fails as an expansion of her charcter in a satisfying way, this is the trope and why it's in use both in the book and in the au, this is what happens, this is what I would change, this is why 'Thistleclaw is a horrible person even without Spottedleaf's Heart', and this is the end" yap: Spottedpaw is not groomed by Thistleclaw in the mate sense, he does groom her into his idiology of "Thunderclan above the rest" much like he did Tigerpaw, there is no Dark Forest training, and Tigerfoot kills him because Thistleclaw tried to kill him as revenge.
Yap session below
If Thistleclaw did the same thing he did to Spottedleaf in canon to Spottedstem in this au, then I would've have her kill Thistleclaw, my script teacher would say "that's not positive and shouldn't be good" but justice is not given to the characters in warriors they gotta take it for themselves.
The thing is how warrior's treated Spottedleaf's story is that it pushed her into the trope of Taking the Veil, there are historical reasons related to this trope (often used as a way for women to escape from the oppressive world by one, maybe as oppressive but in sisterhood than alone), Warrior's does not escape from tropes, especially not this one (the whole medicine cats not having mate or kits is an enforcement of this).
Tangent: Tropes are not necesseraly negative, depends on how they're written
The way I see it, Tigerfoot in this case also falls into this trope, the subvertion is that he, male, decides to take refuge into what the universe of Warriors classifies as a very feminine leaning job, the healer and the priest, both in fantasy to be read as very 'un-masculine', in his build and in his appearance he looks warrior like, and yet he chose otherwise for the same reasons Spotted did in Spottedleaf's Heart, it's ironic.
However the Spottedleaf in arc 1 and in Bluestar's Prophecy did not choose to become a healer just to escape from the world, rather to embrace another side to it, medicine cats in warrior's work best when they are treated not as a separation and an exclusion from the clan but as a crucial part of it that must work in tandemn. At the same time, I love putting medicine cats as "messangers of the eldritch being that is probably Starclan", so the separation makes sense. And I'm basing this au on the latter so yeah-
WITH WHY SPOTTEDLEAF'S HEART IS NOT GOOD OUT OF THE WAY-
Thistleclaw in this is au was Tigerpaw's mentor much like in canon, and planned to become leader to bring Thunderclan into war with the other clans, he wanted Thunderclan to control the forest, all under his rule, he was charismatic to many, and tried to push this ideology of violence to his clan mates, which during the time when they lived in (of constant battles and famine for short periods of time), was very appealing.
He was very liked among apprentices because he was the "Cool mentor" that let us eat what we caught whenever he was in charge of training, Tigerpaw was very proud of being his apprentice up until one of these "chest out, Thunderclan rocks" outings caused him to miss Leopardfoot's passing, he wasn't the same after that, and instead of being the stable supportive figure one should think a child should have he pushed Tigerpaw further into anger, taking his anger out on others, Tiny (ask about what pushed Tigerpaw into being a medcat here).
When his apprentice began giving him the cold shoulder, and it became unlikely Tiger would return to his duties, he turn his focus in other places, Spottedpaw was just beginning her training, and despite trying to beg Sunstar to give him another apprentice, as Tiger had not technically resigned by that point the leader was reluctant. It didn't stop Thistleclaw from butting into lessons as he was still, technically, a mentor. Spottedpaw was thinking of becoming a medicine cat apprentice (by her intial desires as a kit) before Tigerpaw took it from her.
Thistleclaw enters the picture, both very pissed at losing his shot of being leader, and now apprenticeless, that he decides that if he can't force his way of thinking into the clan, he should take a shot at the next generation, Spottedpaw.
So Thistleclaw is the dark mentor, the one that pushes out your worst qualities and makes you believe that they are your best, the one that has always been objectlively wrong in his way of thinking and is not a victim of poor wife syndrome, he is evil because he in canon wanted everyone but Thunderclan dead, and anyone who doesn't agree with it dead. He does not view other clans the same as Thunderclan, rather lesser.
This is bad. There is no other interpretation and there is no other excuse, he is bad both by his intetions and who he trained others to be.
One day, while escorting Tigerfoot, he planned to murder the medicine cat and make it look like an accident, he monologued about his plan, about the revenge, about in the cusp of victory how he would force the clans to his will.
So he did the clan a favour.
#tw grooming mention#warrior cats art#warrior cats#wc#warrior cats au#warriors#wc art#swap au#medcat tigerclaw au#tigerclaw#ask#thistleclaw#spottedleaf#i'm really sorry for the yap session and probably unintengible words#english is not my first language and i fear this time it shows
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DATV hurt/comfort short fic, most companions (spoilers)
The Caretaker floats about noiselessly as they tidy up the towels and rags, sweeping the broken shards of a too-close-at-hand lamp into their cloak. Although they’ve never put to voice a true personality, Rook swears the Caretaker is humming with joy. They float out the door of the infirmary just as Emmrich enters, a fresh bowl of cool water and rag in hand and sits back down next to Neve. He soaks the rag and places it on her forehead, gentle as always.
“Well done, dear Neve,” he beams at her as he wipes away sweat and smooths down her hair.
Neve laughs, weak but full of relief, “I think killing the Gods was easier,” and as she looks to her side, where Lucanis sits rocking a small bundle, she adds, “but nowhere near as satisfying.”
Small coo’s escape the swaddle of blankets, barely heard over the soft lullaby Lucanis sings while the softest outline of a purple wing extends into the bundle. Rook can see the shimmer of tears in his eyes and quickly wipes away his own.
Neve holds out her arms to Lucanis and he sets the baby, just barely an hour old, on her chest, his hands never leaving the two of them. Emmrich sets the bowl of water aside and motions to Rook, the two of them quietly stepping out of the room to give the new parents space.
As the door closes, Emmrich beams, “What an extraordinary day. I can’t begin to explain how honored I am that they trusted me to oversee the birth.” His hand finds Rooks, by instinct more than design, and leans into the wall, “Although it is a rather exhausting ordeal. Even with the midwife classes and the immense ambient magic of the Lighthouse I was rather worried my skills would be inadequate.”
“You did amazing, Em. Both of you.” Rook kisses Emmrich’s hand and can’t hold back a conspiratorial smile, “You even dodged the lamp.”
“Oh that part was actually also part of the classes,” he smiles back with a wink.
“Assan, no! Sit!” Thunderous gallops fall on the stairs as a not-so-small griffon hurtles towards the couple, squawking and whining, with Manfred and Davrin in pursuit.
“Hey! If Davrin’s going up I’m going too!”
“Oh! Oh wait for me, Taash!”
With Taash and Bellara ascending the stairs Assan began to whine louder, his talons digging into the wood of the landing.
Davrin straddles his back and holds his head in a fake choke-hold, “Alright feather butt, hold on. His majesty gets to meet the baby with everyone else.” His tone is scolding but he can’t hide his smile, the same one that beams from Taash and Bellara.
“Can we? Are they ready? We can go back downstairs, I don’t want to bother them, I’m just, I’m so excited!” Bellara rattles off without pause.
“Breathe,” Taash chuckles, their outward calm betrayed by their fingers tapping on the banister.
Emmrich holds up his hands, “Let’s settle down, please. I know we’re all excited but-” He’s cut off by the infirmary doors slowly swinging open, revealing Lucanis and the baby.
“It’s alright, everyone. Neve wants to rest, so I think it’s time for the little one to meet her family.” Emmrich moves to step out of the way, but Lucanis stops him, “And first on that list is Uncle Emmrich.”
He holds out the bundle, and for a moment Emmrich is too stunned to move. Lucanis looks to Rook, who moves next to the stunned professor.
“Why don’t you take her downstairs with everyone, get comfortable. I’ll go in and sit with Neve for a bit.”
“Uncle…” Emmrich breaths, and his eyes begin to sparkle with tears, as he gently takes the baby from Lucanis. “Yes. Yes, hello dear, I’m your Uncle Emmrich.” The last words hitch. He clears his throat and announces that yes, they should all go back downstairs where they can all take turns introducing themselves. Assan squawks and jumps over the railing, landing in the parlor and whining impatiently for the group as they descend the stairs.
Rook returns to the room where Neve lays, eyes closed, on the infirmary bed.
“Come to check on me?”
“Well, I figure Em and Lucanis have it handled, and yes I’m checking on you,” Rook sits next to the tired mage and places his head next to hers. “Big day for the Gallus-Dellamorte family.”
Neve takes Rooks hand and squeezes, “Big day for the Lighthouse family. Two years since we saved the world and it all still feels like a dream.”
Rooks laughs softly, “It’s a good dream, then.” He pauses, his eyes drifting down, then, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Emmrich so happy. He’s always wanted a family, marriage and kids, I think holding her means so much to him.”
Neve squeezes Rooks hand tight, once, “Oh no you don’t. No moping on my big day.” She’s teasing, but her tone is half serious. “Rook, you know Emmrich loves you. He always wanted kids, yeah, but he also wants you, and everything that comes with that. For better or worse.”
“We aren’t married yet, Neve.” “Yes, because a certain moody elf keeps beating himself up about what he thinks his partner wants, instead of seeing what’s right in front of him.”
They lay in silence, minutes passing, as Rook contemplates a future where he accepts that Emmrich is willing to give up having children of his own, and be happy with that future.
“Ok, I can hear you thinking yourself into a spiral, so it’s time for us to join the others,” Neve announces as she slowly sits up.
“Uh, Neve, I don’t think you should be moving this soon after-”
“My husband and baby are downstairs and I’m sick of laying in this awful bed, so are you going to help me put my leg on or not?” There’s no arguing with Neve when she’s decided on a course of action, so Rook helps her into her clothes and prosthetic and holds her arm as they make their way out to the banister and down the stairs.
When they reach the bottom Taash is holding the baby, sitting on the couch with Assan practically drooling over their shoulder to see the child. The rest are gathered as tight as they can, all cooing and smiling, and Emmrich stands to give Neve a spot on the couch. Taash, somewhat reluctantly, hands over the baby, their finger caught in a tiny fist.
“Lucanis wouldn’t tell us her name,” Taash teases, and Lucanis laughs as he leans down to kiss Neve’s cheek.
“I thought it would be better if we were all together first,” his tone turns somber, his shimmering wings returning, Spite making sure they all remember he’s there, too.
Neve clears her throat, and when she speaks the group can hear the slight strain, “We thought a lot about what to name her, but only one felt right. It’s a name she’ll have to grow into, but I know she’ll wear it well.”
The group leans in, tears and smiles and soft squawks.
“Everyone, say hello to Lace Gallus-Dellamorte.”
#DATV spoilers#fan fic#writing#emmrich volkarin#emrook#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#bellara lutare#taash#davrin#lace harding
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i cant believe fontaine finally cleaned up its archon quest writing and learned to Actually Proper Balance its npc screentime with its playable character screentime. and yet. AND YET!!! THIS is the nation where i end up hyperfixating on the historical figures with no official designs.
#rambling#genshin#i am DANGEROUSLY close to speedrunning the “hyperfixated on a blorbo > loosely based in canon headcanons > 'thats just your oc'” pipeline#with the narzissenkreuz institute kids#im dying so much to see what happens next that im just making up shit in my mind functionally 😭#if they wont give me more quest for like another month then i will do it myself 💥💥#but actually they should take their time with the quests. my impatience is my own fault and should not be the basis for a rushed story#anyways. i cant believe they finally got solid playable character writing in the archon quests#and instead of hyperfixating on lyney who checks like. almost EVERY blorbo preference box of mine.#im obsessed with an oceanid world quest 😭 and some random journals#something something tragedy something something#i think i just really loved the intrigue and mystery of it all. slowly finding all the notebooks and piecing together#who did what and wtf went down#was SO satisfying. it was so cool to figure out#i was live reacting to the oceanid quest in a discord channel with some friends and you could literally SEE my thought process go from#“this quest boring as shit idc about oceanid roleplay” to “oh wait they're actually commenting on the nostalgia themes now” to#“HEY WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE THE NAMES CONNECT?!?!”#especially since when i started doing all that the wiki didn't have character pages for most of the narzissenkreus institute kids#beyond like one to two sentences#and so the moment i saw that rene's page was like an actual paragraph and mentioned the kvarnah quest i was like HOLY FUCK#anyways!!!! genshin's writing has been surprisingly good recently#but still. i cant believe they finally managed to get me attached to a random npc! a random HISTORICAL npc for that matter!!!!#inazuma and sumeru wishes they had that#i think another part of it is that fontaine has been good about giving its historical figures consistent personality and character voices#and also character drama! like there's a LOT to latch onto here especially since they're letting you see it firsthand instead of only notes#and since they've tied it back to the present in a couple of very obvious ways it makes the connections easier to latch onto#and also since there's less people to worry about#i still don't understand inazuma history tbh. there were too many damn people and they all blended together in my mind...#they all had like overlapping jobs too ueghhjk#“this guy was a master of [weapon] and died in the catacylsm” describes like at least 3 people who are only ever mentioned in artifact sets
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With a bit of sculpting experience under my belt, I felt like making the first 3 orbs took way too long, so I tried making the other 3 all at once. Sculpting 3 at the same time, carving 3 at the same time, sanding 3 at the same time, etc etc. Turns out that is absolutely the better strategy :P
Sooo yeah, with Necromancer, Biohazard, and Diesel Baron orbs done at once, that means that as far as I'm concerned, my little Ramattra orb collection is done :P They're all definitely messy (the base skin one, the first one I've made somehow turned out the best of the bunch), but aren't they just charming together~
#Borb's Scribbles#Ramattra#Overwatch#biohaz' orb is oddly plain compared to the rest#it has such minimal carving it feels like just a painted ball#diesel baron did ramattra dirty in the face but holy shit its orb SLAPS#the steampunk aesthetic and color palette are so cool#and a gigantic pain to make with all the details it has lol#necro's is also really dope with all the cracks it has#i can't have so many balls on my keys so i'll have to figure out a use for these guys :P#ideally together because collections are satisfying to look at
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actually I would quite like to hear your thoughts on gender philosophy in omegaverse worldbuilding? :3
hm. anon, I fear this is a far larger can of worms than you probably anticipated. I'm going to spare you the worst of it by only giving you a short version, but be careful what you wish for.
I'm also hiding it under a cut because even the short version is embarrassingly long.
I'm hardly a connoisseur of omegaverse content, nor would I consider myself anywhere near an expert. I don't want to speak for all fics as I've admittedly not read many. I did do my master's diss about legal gender recognition, so this is more about gender and philosophically sound worldbuilding than an indictment of any particular writing or story tbh.
the short answer is I find omegaverse worldbuilding really interesting, but I've never fully been able to enjoy it due to the way a/b/o identities tend to have a biological determinist slant to them imo, and tendency for a lack of real world implications of what the omegaverse does to gender and character interactions anywhere outside the bedroom. I'd love to figure out a version that's more inclusive and philosophically/ideologically consistent, both with itself and with my own views on real life gender (basically, I want to make it make more sense, have less biological determinism, and be more inclusive of the wider range of human experiences). this is a big task, and ngl I haven't achieved it and don't anticipate doing so any time soon. I have like, a concept in my head, taking apart all the key pieces and putting them together again but different, but to make it thorough enough would require more effort and time than I have because I'm like, employed 😔
I feel like someday if I ever get invited to a powerpoint night though, this could be It.
#i'm sorry if this isn't a satisfying answer. i genuinely don't know how to explain this concisely#feel free to follow up if you want - it's not that i don't want to talk about it. i just don't want to write an entire thesis on your dash#originally i'd started drafting a long version to put under a read more or something#but then i went off on wayyy too many tangents#there was stuff about transness#there was stuff about intersex people#there was something about blood types#there was extrapolation to implied historical a/b/o discrimination and the presumed historical fight for omega suffrage#there was more than that too but i realized i was sounding a little like the pepe silvia meme so i stopped myself#i mean i still have all these thoughts and i'm like keeping notes and stuff. the omega suffrage thing is going places.#but tumblr dot com might not be the place for me to figure it out live on the spot#fr tho this is the sort of thing i'd genuinely want to study more full time if i ever went back to academia to do something frivolous#i wish i could cite sources and stuff for you. i want to be an academic expert. unfortunately i have a real life job :(#cool enough for asks#.txt#anon#about#secondary gender studies tag#<- there. fine. since i'll probably come back to this someday. last thing i need is cluttering up my real actually useful tags
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computer ENHANCE
the red/orange is custom obviously but yeah I finally figured it out after a month of scratching my head like "that's not a jazz bass... doesn't look like a telecaster... he's clearly not playing a Squier anymore..." I have figured it out. thank you gettyimages
#the smaller text on the headstock does look like a different font than the website's so that's still slightly a mystery to me#but it's SOOO satisfying to have finally figured this out without even having to go ask my dad skdkfjskfn#anyway I love the fact that he's using three different versions of the same bass just in different colors for this tour akdkfjskfj#honestly though I do love how the pickguard is such an unusual shape though it looks very cool#she speaks!#fob#fall out boy#pete wentz#I was just thinking that the tuner layout on his bass is super distinct bc usually all four are on the upper side of the headstock#but this one has one of them on the bottom which is pretty recognizable imo#(I'm used to teles or p basses bc my dad is generally a fender guy)#also pete's has less knobs on the body??? idk man I'm just some random nerd who likes bass guitars
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my god i am ADORING the fontaine world quests so much they are so good
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#i love how they all show different sides of fontaine while also being connected!!!! and we get pieces of the puzzle with each quest!!#all the alice in wonderland imagery too. caterpillar........ also lyris being called the ''red empress''.....like the red queen perhaps?#and taking everyone back to the ordo after each quest is so cool and satisfying because it really feels like it's building to something#and we'll finally get to see the whole puzzle and figure everything out and AUUGH.#just the whole doomsday clock + the ??? domain talking about the apocalypse and how no more civilizations will be made#and caterpillar's comment that maybe we're already living in the apocalypse. HMM. maybe we are#jsut AUUGH. it's so so so cool. i love lore :]#though each one is supremely fucked up in different ways. and i love it#ann's whole thing with Stories and how what stories are told about you shape who you are as a person#and all the alice in wonderland stuff in her quest#the whole thing with elynas and jakob in seymour's quest. plus the book of revealing with canotila.#then everything about the Master that we learn from caterpillar???#me going on the wiki like hey what the fuck is going on. and going WAIT THE INSTITUTE AND THE ORDO ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS#okay that makes more sense. the institute split and the ordo was made of the people who believed in the abyss and apocalypse stuff#OH MY GOD ALAIN AND MARY-ANN ARE SIBLINGS. sorry this is not a huge reveal i just didn't know what their connection was#i'm not reading all the artifact descriptions sorry </3#anyway i'm psyched i love siblings.#ALAIN MADE HER A ROBOTIC DOG TO PROTECT HER. cries and explodes forever i love you sibligns. wtf#but yea the master being a fucked up rebirth combo of lyris and rene.#and caterpillar possibly being created from the master's memory of carter who was also ''prepped for rebirth'' by rene before his dissolvin#NO BUT ACTUALLY WHAT THE FUCK. in ann's story lyris giving up her ''time'' to freeze narcissus. what the fuck was that about#with the context that she and rene dissolved and were stripped of personality to become the Master which caterpillar calls narzissenkreuz#?????????#god. remember when i said i felt like i needed a corkboard and red string to figure this stuff out. still true#i could just read the wiki but the black + white contrast makes my head hurty. thank you <3
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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Some old wips that i never finished but i still like some things about them
#my art#artists on tumblr#btw the first one was supposed to be emi and benito but i couldn't figure out how to draw benito so i gave up#AND I DIDNT LIKE THE WAY EMI'S EYES LOOKED LIKE TOO#the other two are my oc that i call journalist most of the times#i have made many redesigns for him and changed his eyes MANY MANY TIMES#he has a new design now that i am satisfied with#i can say some cool stuff about him one day if you guys want lol#or just when someday i decide to go “nah check my oc out”#and post the information that no one asked for lol
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Teen wolf movie is apparently a complete shitshow comparable to their wildest plots so ? Not sure, it prompted a lot of new fix it fics 😂 also depends where you stood on some of the ships
I mean I didn't watch that show cause it was good so
#it was stupid as all getout but it was fun and the characters were cool#never did watch 6B though cause I felt like 6A provided a very satisfying ending so I just. stopped there.#also if certain ships are sterek I gotta be honest. I never saw it. six seasons and I never figured out where that ship was coming from.#no judgement like if that's your thing have fun with it! that's what shipping is for it's for fun!#I just. yeah I don't see it.#but I ship Scott with just about everyone :)#he's just very lovable#he's the hot girl!
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I couldn’t stop staring at those long, slender fingers as they lifted the glass of red wine to her lips, as they carefully cut up the meat with her knife and gracefully brought the food to her mouth...
She looked at me and smiled. "You always tend to provoke controversy, just like a Venus flytrap. Do you long for a sword that much?"
#im unwell.#ooh there are so many thoughts happening.#ok the main <33 of this is that whenever i have the urge to look at this dialogue again i search “venus” in my big cool document.#and that is so. so. *fallen peter pose but with hearteyes*#my work#arakawa shuuji#from madness with love#sillyposting#i hope its clear that she is. eating. me.#both metaphorically and actually this time.#yadayada i love my wife. we know this. NEXT#anyway its very ironic that this piece about cannibalizing me is eating me alive. i dont think this is GREAT work and#i dont know why i shaded it the way i did and the hands still look weird and the plate perspective is off and. youknow.#selfdeprecating art stuff.#despite this being still way better (imo) than the guy-standing-there i usually doo#like i took a reference picture of myself. i figured out harmonious colors maybe..#there is actual meaning and purpose behind the things i did this time.#all of this is “better” than what im used to. and still im less satisfied with it than my older works.#its frustrating.#i need to stop thinking about thiss and enjoy my wife.#my lovely wife....... yes. this is what ill do.#ok =w=bb let me talk about that last thingie she says.#i already mentioned what the venus is doing to me mentally.#but the thing is.... this is a silly game.#she and the other characters are CONSTANTLY saying nonsense. actual nonsense.#and. that makes this seem like just more random stuff. but it isnt to me.#especially the mention of the venus flytrap is intentional. i feel that.#ok i actually reached the tag limit so let me be brief:#im mentally normal about the fact that she = venus flytrap.#im also normal about her linking herself to famed murderweapon the sword by saying i long for [her]it. =w=b
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#ive been looking thru pics from this summer and damn do i have allot unfinished paintings and drawings#and some of them r pretty cool and original too but i just could not see it at the time#i felt the urge to work largely without reference which yielded cool stuff but it was also allot harder to figure out when smth was done#and when i felt that something was missing it made it harder to identify what that may be#anyways im doing smth in gouache for the first time in over a year and im gonna stick to it bc i dont wanna repeat the pattern#plus i dont wanna waste the fancy big format paper its on lol#anyways im quite confident and happy with the result when directly working frm references but artistically i just dont find it satisfying#i might work up the courage to post some unfinished stuff bc why not#also i found some rly cool thumbnails and ideas id forgotten about#music#Bandcamp#omg also i had this awkward ass moment where i was trying to walk past a guy and he like kept on getting closer to me even tho i was at the#edge of the sidewalk and kept on matching my pace even when i was nearly running#and like throwing glances at me until i finally passed him at an intersection#maybe im just overthinking but its like he wanted it to seem like i was with him or smth?#but he didnt try to talk to me#anyways ive had much worse interactions with men#its jst embarrassing to think ppl may have thought i was with that rando fuckboy looking man#and ive been celibate by choice for years now so mayb that contributes to me being esp put off and self conscious at the idea of coming#accross differently
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i just realized i should probably draw johnnys nose crooked cause i feel like thatd make sense what w the scar thats there… ive been meaning 2 figure out how to draw a bump on his nose anyways bc hes just like me fr fr!!
#trying 2 beat same face syndrome by drawing all the members of p.i.e and im losing#toast and colon got me stumped but i think ive figured out spooker…#i just need to tweak ghost slightly so im more satisfied w him#MY HEAD HURTS#(what staying up for over 24 hours and then only sleepinh like 8 hours and then staying awake until super late again does 2 a mf)#these past 3 days have been strange !!!#met someone and slept in their room bc traveling to long island is so ANNOYING#long ass fuckin commute and i wasnt abt to do that again after only seeing my friends for likw 5 hours#anyways#enough of that#ghost post ^__^#oh i also dont really have a set story for his scars#12 year old me thought they were cool and im not gonna take that from her#point is idk if his nose would be crooked but i thinkkk it would?? ig it depends why and how he got that scar#bc it kinda just looks like a cut but id have to be pretty nasty for it to leave such a prominent scar right?#idk its 5 am and my head (as previously established) hurts#gootnite
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I've already known I'm bisexual for a while but I'm also bye-sexual (on the asexual spectrum) now so. Yeah.
#text#kursed rambles#i mean in the long run it doesnt really matter#nothing changed about me just the labels i attached to me so ig its cool#i am at least pretty satisfied that i finally have some progress on my “am i ace” conundrum though#i am on the ace spectrum but i cant figure out if im demi or nah#eh i'll find out eventually. ill just give it some more time
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Mood. We've had to stop playing games like this because we'd get unhealthily addicted to "number go up"
Like we'd get a withdrawal like effect, we'd get anxious about missing out on potential number going up if we didn't have whatever idle game we were obsessing over running in the background of our computer 24/7. Doing schoolwork? Keep it in the background and tab in like every 5 minutes to check in on it and buy upgrades. Planning D&D? Same thing.
Other games that use the "number go up" formula often got greedy with their players and kept trying to exploit their addiction to make them spend money, they made it more and more grindy until it was impossible for free-to-play people like us to keep up. (We didn't have a job, so no consistent money, so that's a reason why we were FTP. I dunno if we would've fallen into the trap of spending tons of money on games like these if we had a consistent income)
After getting disillusioned with our latest "number go up" simulator, I decided to try cookie clicker because I heard it wasn't pay to win. Yeah, I used an autoclicker too. And CC was pretty neat and all, it wasn't exploitative, which I appreciate- it was a grindy game in its purest state, grinding for the sake of grinding, gaining numbers for the hell of it, instead of trying to make money off of players- but since it wasn't actively trying to exploit us with FOMO it let us stop and think, and we realized we don't even enjoy these kinds of games that have taken up hours and hours of our lives.
So we made a rule for ourselves. No more of these games. From now on, we only play games if we're actually enjoying them, not just playing it out of obligation to make the number go higher. And it was really hard to stop playing since we got that same kind of withdrawal effect, the little itch in the back of the head that "I could be more productive right now, if I just had one of those games open in the background while I write I would be more productive" but we had to just fight that.
Anyway, that's not to say nobody should play these games. I'm not writing this to shame anyone for playing them, I'm not trying to sound preachy and hope that it doesn't come off that way- this comic just reminded me of our experience with these types of games and I felt like talking about it since we were addicted to these kinds of games for a good while. Some people will definitely be able to handle the addicting nature of these games better than we can. Some people genuinely enjoy the grind because it lets them just turn off their brain for a little while or not have to focus too much on something. Just be mindful to not let it become an addiction, is all.
So yeah that's the story of how we had an addiction to really grindy idle games
-Emyr (he/it)
#video game addiction#game addiction#emyr post#we used to play idle champions of the forgotten realms an unhealthy amount since we really like D&D#to be fair that game taught us about a lot of important D&D figures we otherwise wouldn't recognize so we're grateful for that#Like Jarlaxle. we wouldn't have known who the hell he was while prepping our out of the abyss campaign without that game having him#and that game gave us an idea for his personality which will be really useful for playing him as an npc#and it also made him grow on us#idk how accurate the game's personality was of him but still we started out indifferent and ended up liking him#as much as we'd like to our adhd prevents us from reading the books with the big famous characters like him and drizzt and bruenor#so we would've had very little exposure to characters like these otherwise#maybe we should listen to audiobooks more. but i digress#they ended up introducing a battle pass thingy and we dipped#because the entire point of season pass battle pass whatever they're called is to exploit FOMO to get you to pay money and we have no money#So we got disillusioned and moved onto the next game#We also played creatures of sonaria on roblox for a very long time#it's not really an idle game in the traditional sense it's supposed to be a creature survival game#honestly the creature designs are awesome and the flight mechanics in that game really feels satisfying to use#like there's flapping and gliding and soaring and wind currents and you have to manage your stamina and aiming downwards makes you faster#really pleasing for me since i'm otherkin#most games just make flight like creative mode minecraft and it's boring#unfortunately it has a gacha system for getting new creatures and the only reliable way to get currency is to afk and check in now and then#so you don't get kicked for afk or die of hunger or thirst#the intention is that you get currency for playing the game more but there's nothing to do as long as you keep your creature fed and watere#the missions system helped this problem a little bit but not a huge amount in our experience#so that's why it becomes afk hell unless you want to hunt other players for sport but killing for fun is generally frowned on by many#since most players are just trying to afk for money since there's nothing else to do#so if you kill them it's really inconvenient for their grind but it's also the only form of entertainment unless a seasonal event is on#and if the seasonal event is on then you feel rushed to grind for event currency to get the cool new creatures#oh today i learned there's a maximum tag cap oops
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