#war sadness fighting forgiveness humanity

[evilkitten3]

@the-real-sasuke-uchiha that's fair!

my theory is that one day after passing on the hat he walked into the forest of death and didn't come back out again (that's why it got that name) and no one ever really knew the specifics. if it was too wildly pathetic there'd be stories no matter how hard people tried to suppress it. i think he died alone in the woods talking to what may or may not have been a hallucination of the best friend he killed

it's interesting to experiment with ideas about how hashirama actually died but imo the way hashirama tells his story in volume 65 says so much more about who he was at the end of his life than anything canon could've shown us. i think leaving it up in the air was the right call

[milksnake-tea]

━━ duty calls.

Created around the same time and having trained with one another, you and Casper have always butted heads. You'd compete over seemingly anything - how many souls one could reap, the days one could go without catching soul sickness, and the list goes on. Casper has always found you to be obnoxious, but when he sees you crying by yourself, he finds himself torn.

grim x gn!reaper!reader

contains: fluff, hurt/comfort, set before the main storyline, reader is NOT the mc, brief mentions of child death, USAGE OF GRIM'S REAL NAME, reader is a little shit

word count: 4.2k

a/n: FORGIVE ME IF THE WORLDBUILDING IS OFF I WAS TRYING MY BEST and ive only done one ending oops (finals hurts okay :((( ) also ... im not sure if reapers names are classified just to mortals and not other reapers but ykw imma take my liberties

"Seriously, do you ever get tired?"

Casper groaned irritatedly, running a hand through his snow-like hair. Blood like rust coated his scythe, spoils from his most recent hunt. The corpse still lay fresh in front of him, but their skin was cold and their eyes dead.

Boisterous laughter erupted above him. Sitting on the balcony of some person’s apartment, you grinned down at him - that infuriating, shit-eating grin that never failed to tick him off.

You kicked your legs childishly as you leaned back over the railing. Nestled against the crook of your arm was a scythe similar to his own, save for the more detailed design and color palette. Unlike him, you would constantly say, you liked to live a little.

Bold words coming from a bringer of death.

“Don’t blame me for you being slow,” you called down to him. Casper rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he glared up at you.

“I am not ‘slow’,” he grumbled. “You’re too eager. And get down from there, you’ll be spotted.”

You tilted your head. “It’s like, 3 A.M. What kind of idiot’s gonna be awake at this hour?”

“You’d be surprised. Humans will do anything but take care of themselves.”

“I guess,” you sighed, jumping down. You twirled your scythe absentmindedly, Casper leaning back to avoid getting hacked to pieces.

“Be careful with that,” he scolded. You, of course, ignored him.

“So are these the last of the guys?” you wondered, kicking at a corpse with your foot.

The alleyway was practically lined with bodies, so many that management had called upon both you and Casper to deal with the remnants of the massacre. Gang fights were a pain to deal with, second only to pandemics and war.

“It would seem so.” Casper gave you a look, to which you responded by sticking out your tongue. You were very mature, after all.

You stretched thankfully, rolling out your shoulder. “Thank God, I was starting to get depressed from all the dead people.”

“If you’re getting depressed from just this, perhaps you should consider a different career choice.”

“Nah.” You smiled. “If I left, who would I bully? You’d get all sad and lonely without me.”

“Hardly,” Casper scoffed. “If anything, I’d be relieved.”

“You wound me.”

“Good.”

“So mean,” you pouted. Casper paid you no attention, as per usual. It didn’t matter, though, since you immediately perked back up. “Hey, boo?”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“I have an idea.” And just like that, your cheshire grin returned. Casper sighed, already beginning to walk off.

“How wonderful,” he said sarcastically. “Share it with someone else.”

“Uh-uh, no.” As quick as a flash, your scythe was out, the blade curving in front of Casper to prevent his escape. “This one’s good, I swear.”

“Your definition of what is and isn’t a good idea needs some desperate fixing.” Still, he made no move to escape, instead turning around to face you.

“Let’s race.”

Casper raised a brow. “Race?”

You nodded eagerly, your eyes shining like jewels. In the darkness of the alleyway, the two of you were illuminated only by the neon blue lights of the city. Yet, as that same blue was captured in your eyes, Casper was reminded of a kaleidoscope, changing and turning in a multitude of different colors.

It was… captivating.

“If I win, you have to buy me a drink.” 

Casper snapped out of his daze, a light flush blooming across his fair skin. Thankfully, though, you didn’t seem to notice, too entranced by another one of your ridiculous competitions. Seriously, there had to be a limit to how unprofessional you could be.

“You assume I have the time to buy you one,” he said with faux calmness, grateful for the night’s shadows hiding his complexion. You huffed.

“You could do it while you’re rebalancing yourself,” you said, as though it was obvious. “Besides, it doesn’t have to be anything big, just a coffee or a tea would be nice.”

“Fine, let’s say I stoop down to your level and agree to this… race,” said Casper. “What do I get if I win?”

You shrugged. “Then I'll just buy you a drink.”

Casper shook his head. “I’m not like you. I don’t drink on the job.”

“But you do cuddle an axolotl plushie when you sleep,” you pointed out. Instantly, Casper flushed red.

“Wha- What does that have to do with anything?!” he protested.

"I just thought about it randomly," you shrugged. "But seriously, that thing is huge, where did you get it?"

“Never mind how I got it," Casper crossed his arms and averted his eyes, his bottom lip turning up in a pout. “We’re getting off track.”

“Oh, so now you care about my games,” you teased. “Anyways, on how I’ll reward you…”

You spun your scythe back to your side, tapping its staff against the ground as you thought of a fitting reward.

“Oh! How about this?” You snapped your fingers, a figurative light bulb lighting up next to you. “You get to cash in one favor from me.”

“Any favor?” A smirk creeped onto Casper’s face, his interest finally piqued. “That’s a dangerous game you’re playing, [Name].”

“As long as it’s within reason and isn’t embarrassing,” you snapped, crossing your arms. “If you make me kiss your feet or something like that, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Of course,” Casper chuckled knowingly. “So, where to and when are we racing?”

“Hey, if you weren’t paying attention to the rules, then that's your fault. As for when the race starts, how about… now.”

“Wha- Hey!” Casper barely dodged as you shot past him in a blur of black. Hooking your scythe into the walls, you stuck out your tongue at him as you propelled yourself through the night.

“So long, Casp!”

Casper cursed under his breath. Quickly, he made haste to follow you. He flew through the air like a bird, twisting around light poles, skyscrapers, and billboards alike.

You weren’t as elegant, instead jumping from building to building like a modern superhero. You’d catapult yourself through the sky using your scythe as leverage, your laughter echoing in the slumbering city - free like the wind.

Casper didn’t have to follow you long to know where you were heading towards. Invisible to the mortal eye, yet painfully obvious to the eyes of reapers, was an entrance to the Underworld, a whirlpool of black and red that led straight down to your home.

As you launched yourself into the air once again, Casper came up next to you, his hair billowing in the cold night wind like smoke.

“Nice of you to join me,” you teased, elbowing him in the side. Casper rolled his eyes once again, speeding up. “Hey!”

Smoky tendrils of crimson and ink curled around your figures as the two of you neared the portal. The center of the whirlpool was a void seemingly leading to the abyss itself, but you’ve worked in this job long enough to know just what lay beneath.

True to his character, Casper wasted no time and shot straight into the thick of it. You, on the other hand, were a little more dramatic with your landing.

You spun in a backflip off of the last of the skyscrapers before letting gravity take you for a ride. Wind whistled past your ears as you fell, yet all you could hear was the rapid thump of your own heart. Adrenaline filled your veins. Soon, black and red lined your vision as the Underworld engulfed you.

The second you saw the tips of red-stained towers, you flipped yourself to face the ground. Closer and closer, you could practically taste it. If you delayed any longer, your life as a grim reaper could end prematurely.

Like the eyes of a devil, your pupils glowed in delight, activating your abilities. But rather than slowing your descent, you sped it up, shooting towards the ground like a missile.

Black blobs, the fuzzy images of your coworkers, scrambled to move out of your way. Turning your body, you landed hard on your heels, narrowly missing a fellow reaper.

For a moment, all you could see was dust. Before the clouds could disappear, you shook off the sting in your ankles and stretched.

“Woo!” you cheered, kicking your leg. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Quiet down.” Casper grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back. “Honestly, is there ever a quiet moment with you?”

You giggled. “Boo, you’ve known me long enough to know the answer to that. Oh, by the way, I’m craving some-”

“Hold it.” Casper bonked your head. “I only agreed to buy you something if you won.”

“Didn’t I?”

“No you didn’t,” Casper retorted. “Anyone with working eyes could see that I reached the ground before you did. Therefore, I won.”

“Uh, no.” You crossed your arms. “Are you gaslighting me? You’re gaslighting me. That's not very nice of you, Casp.”

“I am not gaslighting you.” Your white-haired coworker rolled his eyes. “As grim reapers, we cannot lie. Someone of your caliber should know this.”

You blinked innocently. “Did you just compliment me?”

Casper spluttered. “What in the world made you come to that conclusion?”

Taking a step forward, you leaned towards the reaper, a cheeky smile growing on your face. “You said ‘Someone of your caliber’. That means you think I’m capable.”

“You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to be incompetent after working as a reaper for so long,” Casper crossed his arms, fighting down the blush rising onto his cheeks. You were close, way too close. “Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised, seeing as how that was the only thing you heard from what I said.”

Heaving a sigh, he pushed you away with his finger.

“But don’t distract yourself from the fact that I won the race,” he said, a smug smirk replacing his exasperation.

“I was honestly trying to forget.”

Casper huffed, a pout forming on his lips. But the moment wouldn’t last long, as a ding sounded from both of your phones. When you checked it, you groaned when you saw a notification of unexpected emergency.

“Seriously?” you complained. “Overtime? Did a bunch of reapers die off or something? My soul’s going to get tainted at this rate.”

“Don’t complain.” Casper nudged you, but even you could see the irritation on his face. “It’s our job as reapers to reap souls on time, no matter what.”

“I guess. Still doesn’t make it any less annoying.”

“Agreed.” With a sigh, Casper summoned his scythe. “I must be off, now. See you on the other side, [Name].”

As he made his way back to the opening of the portal, his feet lifting off from the ground, a gloved hand reached out to grasp your chin. Gently, he guided you to look at him as he ascended.

“I look forward to cashing in on that favor.”

━

For as long as you could remember, things have always been this way.

Your earliest memory was of waking up to the crimson skies of the Underworld. Unaware and unknowing, you allowed yourself to be dragged around by older reapers, their voices blurring together in a droning buzz. Everything had gone by so quickly, and you struggled to keep up with it all.

If you were to say it bluntly, your first day felt like a fever dream.

But amidst the chaos, the tutorials, and the gifting of your first scythe, there was one thing that you remembered clearly.

“...Snow.”

Your mentor’s lecture halted at your voice, barely audible. They followed your gaze to a white-haired man, looking to be around the same age as you. Like a drowsy child, you lifted your finger and pointed at him, looking back to your mentor.

“He’s like snow.”

Their eyes softened by the tiniest bit, having seemingly realized that you were still disorientated. After all, in a sense, you had just been born.

“I suppose he is.” Putting a hand on your shoulder, they guided you away from the man. “Now, as I was saying…”

Their voice faded away into the background as the white-haired man noticed your gaze. He turned to look at you, his ruby-like eyes like blood speckles against the winter landscape. You stared at each other for only a few seconds before you turned to follow your mentor.

You quickly forgot the pretty stranger, but you would stay in his memories for quite a while before you’d cross paths again. In the darkness of the Underworld, you were like a lantern - radiating warmth and familiarity.

You were beautiful, like a flower in summer. That was, until he met you for the second time.

Swiftly and ruthlessly, holding true to your occupation as a reaper, you cut apart any premonitions he had had about you. When you were put against him to spar by your mentors, the drowsiness had worn off - instead replaced by insufferable audacity.

As your scythes clashed, sparks flying between the two of you and burning him in the process, your mouth just wouldn’t stop moving, stop talking. The innocently sleepy look on your face was replaced with a shit-eating grin as you blocked his attacks, trapping him in a frenzied dance.

“What’s wrong, boo?” you laughed, twirling your scythe to drive him back. “Don’t tell me you’re getting tired already.”

Casper’s eyebrow twitched at the nickname; you wouldn’t stop calling him that ever since you learned his real name. He didn’t understand where it came from, but just the way you said it was enough to annoy him.

“Hardly,” he scoffed, his boots kicking up dust as they skidded against the ground. He was quick to lunge back at you, his movements precise as he swung his blade. “If anything, I’d wager that you’re the one tiring out.”

“Ha!” You ducked under his attack and sprung forward, Casper’s hair tickling at your face as you came nose to nose with him. Startled, Casper had no time to react as you slammed the end of your scythe’s staff into his chest.

Before he knew it, Casper’s back was against the ground, your boot on his chest, and your scythe at his neck.

Your breaths were heavy as you looked down on him, but your eyes glowed with triumphant victory. The fight may have been more exhausting than you’d like to admit, but the view you had was well worth the effort.

Beneath you, Casper struggled to catch his own breath, his chest heaving under the soles of your foot. His white hair splayed around him like a halo, and his face was tickled pink from the fight.

Even in defeat, he was beautiful.

You leaned forward, putting your weight on your knee. Casper grunted as you pressed harder on him. Just for the fun of it, you pressed your scythe’s blade against his chin and guided him to look up at you and your grin.

“I win,” you sang mockingly.

Casper groaned, letting his head fall against the floor. You laughed heartily, stepping off of him and instead extending your hand to him. Without a second thought, Casper took it, allowing you to pull him to his feet and dust him off.

“That’s what, victory number twenty-one?” you asked, stretching. “That means I’m in the lead now, Casp.”

“Whatever,” Casper scoffed, dusting off his chest where your foot had been. “I’m sure the score will even out in no time.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you squinted at him. Casper stuck his tongue out at you.

“I don’t know, what does it mean?”

You hit his chest playfully. Casper grunted, glaring at you from the corner of his eye.

That’s how it had always been, after all. You and Casper would go back and forth in this tantalizing dance, exchanging jabs and jokes at the same time. 

To Casper, you were insufferable, but annoyingly capable. To you, Casper was way too serious and stuck up, yet had that charm about him that made you want to tease him at every possible opportunity.

But for many, many years, your relationship never went further than mere friends - if Casper even wanted to call you that.

━

The day Casper’s view of you changed was like a stormy sky - dark, yet light still managed to peek through.

You’d come back to headquarters with a solemn look upon your face. For someone who had just come back from a mission, you were oddly… clean. There wasn’t a trace of blood on your clothes, yet your eyes were dark, haunted. Even your scythe’s shine seemed dull.

For the reapers, to have someone normally so loud and full of life be reduced to this, was frightening. They’d grown used to your smile, your voice, your light. You parted crowds with your uncharacteristically serious aura; if there was anything a sensible reaper feared, it was the wrath of a joyous soul.

Immediately after turning in your report to headquarters, you disappeared from the public eye.

When Casper first heard the news, he had brushed it off. You were probably just having a bad day, he tried to assure himself. Maybe you’d finally realized the grimness that came with your profession. Maybe the soul you’d reaped was especially troublesome and gave you a run for your money.

Despite his attempts to make up explanations for your behavior, he couldn’t stop the worry from gnawing at his heart. It twisted in his chest like soul sickness, an ailment that he wasn’t used to nor did he understand. It even followed him into his work, plaguing his mind and distracting him as he reaped soul after soul.

He’d made haste to return home, knowing that this illness would only worsen if he stayed out.

The Underworld was always dark, but that day, the sky was pitch black. Eager to return to the comfort of his bed, he quickly made his way to one of the many apartment complexes in which reapers resided.

However, just before he opened the door to his room, his hand stilled at the sound of crying.

Now, sadness wasn’t an uncommon emotion in the Underworld. Ghosts, sinners, and demons alike wailed and screamed their woes into the night. Their cries were as common as the sound of rushing cars in a human city.

But not for reapers, especially in their home. Reapers, at their core, were cold, emotionless, and ruthless - they needed to be, in order to do their jobs properly. A reaper’s tears were rare, almost taboo.

The more Casper listened, he soon recognized a familiar voice among those sniffles: yours.

Could it be? He looked up to the rooftop, his hand wavering. His soul pulsed in his chest, warning him to ignore you and focus on himself. But his heart argued back.

Casper glanced once more at the doorknob to his room. Cursing himself, he heaved a sigh and walked away - moving towards the staircase leading to the rooftop.

As he emerged onto the rooftop, the first thing he noticed was how clear the sky was. Its crimson blanket was more like that of a rose’s rather than bloodstains, and if he squinted, he could perhaps delude himself into seeing a few stars.

Then came you.

Casper’s heart plummeted in his chest when he saw your form curled into itself. You sat at the edge of the rooftop, your knees pulled up to your chest and your face buried in your arms. Your back was to him, but Casper saw the way your shoulders trembled.

He tried to take a step towards you, tried to reach to you with his hand, but hesitated. What would he even say? What could he say? What could he do?

His thoughts halted when you took a deep, shuddered breath, your voice raw from cry.

“What do you want, Casper.”

Casper. Not Casp, not boo, not any of the annoying nicknames that you called him by.

“I…”

He stepped back, feeling fear for perhaps the first time in his life. For the first time, he was unsure of what to do.

You couldn’t see him, but you heard him walk away and descend the staircase. You laughed hollowly, wiping at your face with your hand.

“What was I even expecting…” you muttered bitterly, gripping at your own arms for support. “Why would he of all people…”

You shut your eyes tighter. Without the company of the sky and the city, you were left alone with your thoughts. Memories of what you had witnessed laughed in your mind, latching onto you like a parasite and refusing to let go.

You were never afraid of blood, nor of death, but today, just the thought of it made you nauseous.

Something soft nudged at your elbow. Blinking your eyes open, you warily looked to your side.

However, instead of seeing a person, you came face to face with a bright pink axolotl plushie.

You and the plushie stared at each other for a good minute, neither of you knowing what to make of the other. It wasn’t until you heard a familiar, exasperated sigh from behind the plushie that you realized what it was.

“Don’t just stare at him,” Casper mumbled, pushing the plushie against you. You blinked owlishly, before hesitantly taking the plushie into your arms.

Hugging it against your chest, you rested your chin on top of its head. The plushie was oddly warm, yet comforting. Casper sat beside you, silent and gazing up towards the sky. For a while, the two of you simply sat in this silence, with the only thing breaking it being your quiet sniffles.

“...She was just a kid,” you finally spoke, catching Casper’s attention and making him look at you. You, however, kept your gaze straight ahead to the city lines, refusing to meet his gaze. “She was just a little girl, and yet they… they…”

You hugged the plushie a little tighter.

“I just can’t understand how humans can be so cruel to each other.”

Casper’s gaze turned downcast. “That’s how they’ve always been. Life is cruel, even to the purest of souls.”

“It’s not fair.”

“Hardly anything is.”

“It shouldn’t have been her. It should’ve been that bastard that murdered her.”

“He’ll get what he deserves. Karma will catch up to him.”

“But what if it doesn’t? What if he gets let off?”

“He won’t.”

Unexpectedly, you let out a snort at Casper’s deadpanned voice - so assured and serious. Casper raised a brow, looking at you inquisitively.

“You know,” you said, raising your head. “You’re somehow really bad and really good at comforting people.”

“What?” Casper wrinkled his nose. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” you said softly. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. Actually, that’s one of the things I like about you.”

“That I’m apparently a bad comforter?”

“No, silly.” You leaned your head on the plushie again, only this time you were looking at your coworker. “Your seriousness. How you’re always so confident in yourself. How even if you don’t know what you’re doing, you still try.”

Red bloomed across Casper’s face like a flowering blossom, reaching from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze.

“It’s not fair when you start saying things like that,” he mumbled. You giggled a little, leaning onto his shoulder with his plushie still in your arms.

“I’m just being honest,” you hummed. “Or maybe I’m coping. I dunno.”

Casper chuckled, but made no move to push you off him. You closed your eyes. The turmoil in your heart was still there, of course, but with Casper against you, it eased up just a little.

“Seriously though, thank you,” you said. “For coming up here for me and, well, everything.”

“It was nothing,” Casper replied. “You were looking pretty pathetic, all depressed and all.”

You huffed. “Just admit you care about me, Casp. Is that so hard?”

Casper grumbled something unintelligible, before lifting his arm. You squeaked as he wrapped it around your shoulders, pulling you closer against him. With your head laid against his collarbone, you could feel every breath he took as well as the rapid beat of his heart.

“[Name],” he said quietly. “Remember the favor you promised me? For winning the race?”

“Mm… yeah. What about it?”

“I’d like to cash it in right now.”

“Oh lord,” you chuckled. “Alright, what do you want?”

“Whatever happens next, don’t tell anyone,” Casper whispered.

Your lips curled into a smile. “You know, Casp, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were about to do something weird.”

You couldn’t see him, but you knew he was rolling his eyes.

“Be quiet for a moment, will you?”

You grinned. “Ah, but that’s two favors, not-”

Casper shut you up with a soft kiss to your head. It was brief, so quick that for a second you almost thought you had dreamed it.

In your stunned silence, Casper spoke again.

“Forgive me if I’m being greedy, but I’ll ask for a third favor,” he said. “No matter what happens, promise me you won’t deal with it by yourself.”

His grip around you tightened.

“Please.”

You nuzzled closer into the crook of his neck.

“...I promise.”

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

[lyss-sketchbox]

Ok coming off anon because I'm trying to conquer the constant social anxiety lmao (same person who sent you Longass Thoughts on Natlan AQ) - SO YEAH personally I like Ei's character but foaming a bit at the mouth because I feel like my favorite parts of her character (namely she was NOT ready to be the archon when makoto kicked the bucket, she's got that good ol' warrior-weapon mindset knocking around in there- having her actually confront the ugly truth of the consequences of her actions was such a missed opportunity. it would've been SO good to see her actually get confronted personally without any sugarcoating. i think her learning to be less of a shitty archon would've been so much better then)

also like. im sure there were a lot of ways to improve Inazuma's story but personally i thought it would've been cooler if kokomi was a bit more. morally grey lmao. like willing to do not-so-nice things to fight god because that's what they're doing. mortals attempting to defy the god that holds dominion over their land (bc the electro archon isn't really Watatsumi's god specifically!! bc uh lmao ei killed him lol)

but yea for real in natlan every "serious problem" was severely undercut by "actually it's all good now" like "kachina is totally fine after being chased by the abyss in the afterlife, she was protected by the wayob so it's all good and she's also mentally ok" and it's like what. what are you talking about.

AND THE ARchON thing i feel like im the only one who has a gripe. tbf the story is not done yet BUT MY QUESTION IS CELESTIA ALLOWED A HUMAN (MULTIPLE EVEN) TO ASCend to the divine throne???? Like what??? IT feels like it runs counter to everything-

and like uh feels like we got really really far away from like. when you talk about the archon war in liyue it was a literal bloodbath. sacrifices upon sacrifices were made, the modern day liyue was built upon the corpses of friend and foe alike because there was no other choice. you couldn't abstain, you would die.

but in natlan???? no gods??? what???? im just losing it more than a bit over here that natlan is trying simultaneously to be a grim land of constant war but also sunshine friendship and rainbows.

at this point im prepared to be disappointed and just crossing my fingers the good writing comes back for snezhnaya's AQ bc if they fuck up snezhnaya i will literally never forgive them

Its all good man, youre so welcome to debate and talk off anon, we may disagree but never hate.

Im putting all my ramblings under cut since its gonna be as equally long and spoilery hdjsnsn

About Ei

I completely forgot about how Ei was originally a kagemusha, a weapon for her sister, her sister did all the archon work while Ei simply stood by her side. Its makes perfect sense that after the death of her sister, she would make very bad not thought out decisions and because she is an archon now, those bad decisions has really really bad aftermaths.

I personally do not have any gripes about her being basically clueless about the outside world. Grief manifests in different ways and locking yourself away and justifying it as a twisted way to gain enlightment of eternity the way your sister did, it can make sense. It is a consequence!! She is clueless of how to be an archon and what is going on in her nation, her SQ could have been used to show her trying to understand and emphatize with her people to be a better archon. NOT A REASON TO MAKE HER AN uwu sad defenseless waifu cant cook and doesnt know anything. Brother she fucking killed people and almost destroyed her nation.

About Kokomi

I like the idea of morally grey kokomi actually. It makes alot of sense. Kokomi and the watatsumi people might have some vishap descendance but they are still humans, even less so with visions. Theyre also lacking the supplies and expertise needed to continue a war with an entire nation and its archon. It would make sense that she would accept the fatuis help since they share the sentiment of 'getting to inazuma and its archon'.

But it was shown she wasnt even aware who the anonymous donor is, hell she wasnt aware people where using delusions until people starts dying. And for a girl who wrote an entire guide book with 100 different alternate plans, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING...............

About Natlan's system

Yeah they really brushed off the dying part and potentially being stuck in genshin limbo if you dont get out in time too casually. The tiny child you retrieved from limbo also is... very chill and not mentally scarred or anything, she wasnt putting up a brave face, she was simply unaffected?????? One on kachina's voiceovers is gonna talk about her death but im not friendship 4 with her yet. I hope it explains SOMETHING.

Yeah the first time i heard that the archon was human and has been replaced multiple times had me gawking too, i can excuse that Celestia has been strangely inactive FOR NOW.

I wanted to bring up how the hydro archon throne being broken and Neuvi regaining his sovernity didnt even call Celestia to action but GUESS WHAT??? I DONT KNOW IF NATLAN HAPPENED BEFORE OR AFTER FONTAINE BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO LOWER THE REQUIREMENTS TO DO NATLAN AQ!!!!!!! But well if it happened after (since Neuvis end dialogue told us to go to Natlan next), well... Celestia isnt called either so theyve just been inactive for 500 years of Natlans weird system ig.

About the """Nation of War"""

Yeah man. Sacrifices and war was dealt better in liyue. Same as Natlan, it is a nation built of war. There was war in the past, sacrifices were made to built the liyue we know now. But the sacrifices in liyue was not brushed off or belittled, those sacrifices had meaning and the people of liyue hold very high regards for the fallen. In Natlan? Its treated like some sort of sick hunger games event, they made war into entertainment.

Oh but they need the tournaments to keep the natlan fire alive. THEN RUN A SEPERATE FUCKING TOURNEY?????? MAKE EVERYONE WHO HAS AN ANCIENT NAME HAVE PROPER TRAINING AND GO TO WAR IN ARMIES PROPER???? THIS SHIT DOESNT NEED TO BE ENTERTAINMENT AND YET YOU DID. Maybe the flames are small BECAUSE YOU PICK ONLY 5 PEOPLE EVERYTIME WHEN THERES LITERALLY NO REASON VETERANS LIKE KINICH AND MUALANI TO SIT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE THEY LOST.

Oh but the ode of resurrection only works on limited people THEN SEND OUT THE BEST PEOPLE THEN???????? MUALANI, A 3 TIMES VETERAN, LOST TO KACHINA. CLEARLY THE TOURNEYS ARENT RELIABLE TO PICK WHO TO SEND.

While i can understand that while Liyue is past war and Natlan is still in war, this is... not how people in war act. The entertainment the happiness the hospitality. Its not efforts to keep morale high its literally just... happy people, sometimes they get attacked by abyss monsters yeah cool but otherwise theyre completely happy just living like that. Thats why the Nation of War thing isnt working at all, these people are not how people STILL IN WAR act. Theres no anxiety no uncertainty no worry at all, not even a smidget. These people live like happy prospering people.

You know what happened to people tryna be happy prospering people while still in war in liyue? Havria.

I hope they bring back the high AR requirement for snezhnaya so snezhnaya can be chronologically correct. I hope they take snezhnaya seriously. I hope Natlan atleast wont pull an inazuma and tripped at the very end

NONE OF THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BS EITHER I didnt believe it when mualani fucking knocked it over our heads over and over and over again and its not gonna work now.

[echo-of-the-eye]

Dragon prince s7 live thoughts:

These are thoughts I wrote down while watching. They are very rambling and might make no sense. It’s also… very long. I still need time to process my feelings about the season but I’m mostly happy! Spoiler warning obviously.

Ep1:

• Intro: Claudia didn’t turn to stone! Hmmmm.. interesting

• Ethari!! Love the new look. He’s lost all hope nooo:((

• Runaan being manhandled. By an actual human. What’s he thinking rn??

• Rayllum kiss counter: 1!

• New staff for Claudia!

• Callum and Soren hug;-;

• What does aaravos need Claudia for now? Also moon nexus? Is he trying to bring Leola back? Is that possible for a startouch elf?

• A moon opal could take a hundred years to find?? No? Is he just manipulating them or is this stupid? He said moon OPAL right? Not primal stone?

• Sorvus hug! Broyals hug! Everyone gets hugs! Which is good cause this is really sad

• Ok now you’re just showing off aaravos (great designs though)

• Runaan you good? You just ate non illusioned grubs.

• A bit upset we don’t get to see his initial reaction to all this. Especially callum. How is he so chill with everything?

• Aaravos wtf you playing at?? An apple? Really?? Also I don’t think this disguise is that much more subtle

• Yeeessssss ezran! Be mad! Go apeshit! You deserve it!

Ep2:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia.

• Rayla? A bit of sympathy please? He did actually kill their dad. At least don’t feed callum’s abandonment issues (*cough* that you created in the first place)

• I’m kinda with Ezran on this one. I get it Rayla I do. And I don’t want him to be punished either. But still. Also. What’s the difference between an assassin and a murder? Ezran’s got a point. Rayla’s worldview is being challenged. “Oh so he’s a good murder?” Ezran I love you.

• The bread is still weapons grade I see. At least they’ve got jelly tarts

• “I could never ask you to betray your brother” “you don’t have to ask” CALLUM!??!!!?!!

• “I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU” aadafagjggdhs

• Rayllum kiss counter: 2!

• “I never asked for this” Ezran:(((

• Okay Callum is also making some good points

• Soren Rayla rematch let’s goooo!!

• Guess the bread is being put to the test

• Omg aaravos is adorable (never something I thought I’d say)

• Self eating?? Oh god I thought it was just blood magic!

• This is painful. The broyals are fighting:(((

• Terry is pure of heart. No surprise there. Claudia manipulating him…. Ooof

• I love that everything at the banther lodge parallels s1. Right down to the method of escape and the arrows flying

Ep3:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia.

• Alright sunfire plot!

• Ezran’s going through it. I know this is exactly what I asked for but it still hurts

• Thank you tdp for not spreading misinformation about ducks! They should not eat bread

• A secret place in duren? Might this be the same place Claudia and co are going?

• Miyana is pregnant?! Well that’s convenient. I swear if this leads up to her and Karim both being pardoned… I know it’s all about forgiveness but I think that’s a bit far. Forgiveness is great but it can’t always be the answer. Especially when Karim has proven he can’t be trusted with second chances

• The west of xadia used to be magical! I love that! I always found it weird that it was just empty

• Mage wars oooohh!

• Ohh so we’re crushing up unicorn bones now. Neat…

• Oh ok I’m actually kinda liking how they’re doing the Janai Karim plot now. It is in character to try to give him mercy, but I’m glad he refuses it. Stubborn fool

• Ok the place in duren wasn’t the same place

• Death sentence? Damn

Ep4:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia.

• Omgomgomg! Ruthari reunion incoming! I’ve waited years for this!

• MY HEART!!! TOGETHER AT LAST!!!!!!!

• Elf callum!

• Rayllum kiss counter: 3!

• Ok Terry objecting to killing the bird is interesting. Surely he’s seen Claudia do worse? Still. I love how they’re setting up the conflict between him and Claudia and Aaravos. Terry you’re too good for this

• More moonshadow elves!

• Oh Terry;-; I really like this

• Claudia and Terry breakup! It’s been a long time coming

• Rayla is unghosted!!

• “He had to leave, for himself” oh Claudia. Is this her coming to terms with her mother’s choice as well? I feel so bad for her. Terry was right to leave but it still hurts how many times Claudia has been left behind now. (She is the definition of the “everyone leaves me!” And then you find out why)

Ep5:

• Intro: still caudia? Still Claudia.

• Oh Terry wants to join the dragang. Let’s see how that goes

• Two weeks? Hm

• Also I can’t believe after all this time we get callum and the moonfam all together!

• Callum is gonna babysit moonshadow kids!?

• Oh they’re adorable!

• Gren is still censoring Amaya I see

• Omg Soren and Terry bonding! Fighting?Yeesssss!!!

• Love that even though Soren respects him for realizing he was in the wrong side he’s still defending his sister

• Callum with kids! I didn’t know I needed this so badly!

• ASFAFAGAJJSJAKAKAKAOA “callum wants to have ten babies with you” omfg! Callums face!

• What the fuck was that. Did I just hallucinate? I’m getting atla flashbacks (talking about the moonberry surprise thing)

• They’re gonna bring back Lissa? Not sure that will have the desired effect. I think Soren is more likely to be successful

• Rayllum kiss counter: 4!

• Callum you had to jinx it

• Also I really like Astrid. Mainly cause she looks almost exactly like how my Httyd oc looks in my tdp au

Ep6:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia.

• Aaravos I don’t think Leola would want that

• I don’t like how Aaravos is in disguise the whole time. There hasn’t even been anyone around. Show us our gorgeous bastard please! It’s like they had a quota of how often he could be on screen or his beauty would be too much

• Oh callum:(

• Oh what?! Another dark callum confrontation! Really hope this doesn’t mean dark callum is only a hallucination/dream and we won’t see actual callum do dark magic again, but I’m still loving this!

• Is? Is lissa real? Cause if so I’m not sure how I feel about this.

• Ok yeah lissa is an illusion I knew it

• Lujanne!? No! I feared this would happen

• Aww:( so real callum didn’t get to say the however dangerous however vile line:(

• Lujanne still lives!

• Really? Aaravos? Don’t you have like? Magic? This can’t actually be a threat to you. Was it really that easy? I know this isn’t the end obviously but what? I feel like they haven’t shown exactly how big a threat he is

• Sir sparklepuff!

Ep7:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia.

• “No army can stand up to a startouch titan” well apparently katolis can. Though I really hope that’s just aaravos tricking them

• Oh and now they need karim. Lovely

• Runaan! He took a hit for callum! Wow he adjusted quick!

• Holy shit callum! The blood freezing spell! Damn

• Really hoped the mage battle between callum and Claudia would be longer and more epic:(

• Oh fuck yeah callum! It seems we are heading that way! Yessss!!!

• Ok so it seems katolis did actually manage to overwhelm aaravos which I don’t like. How is he relying on the spirits to free him? He should be more powerful. Show us he’s a serious threat

• OH FUCK. THE MAGMA TITAN! Oof that hurts

• WHAT!!!??!! AVIZANDUM!!!!

Ep8:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia.

• Did Astrid do star magic? “Stella” means star. But she’s a sky elf? I know the celestial elves are very connected to the stars but does that mean they have a star arcanum?

• So they managed to get to the sun orb pretty easily. So why did they never fix it? They said they tried and it was too difficult but they’re doing it now. Except you know. They’re destroying it

• Oh god dammit karim!

• HOLY SHIT! FUCK YEAH AARAVOS!! SQUISH THE BASTARD!! He had it coming (thought he was about to eat him too lol)

• Rex igneous!

• Aaravos going from calling Claudia an asset to “the only light in this world”. He genuinely cares about her? He says she reminds him of Leola which makes sense

• Let there be dark

• They found the novablade! Bit disappointed it was that easy but still cool. I thought it was gold though? It was in the poster

• Does aaravos have no magic?? He did (primal) magic through viren in s2 when he was imprisoned. Why is he so powerless now??!?? I get the arch dragons are actual threats to him and that’s fine but he shouldn’t be this weak

• Ok so he did like one spell. Still not as powerful as he’s been set up to be

• REX!??!!! Damn

• Rayllum kiss counter: 6!

• Final battle! Let’s go!

• Damn stella! Brutal!

• Domina!

• Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!!!!!!! Runaan promised to kill callum!!!

• Ok so obviously Callum imprisoning him and then being killed won’t happen. There’s an episode left and Ezran is prob on his way with the nova blade. Also they won’t kill Callum. My prediction is they’re gonna kill Aaravos cause that sets up his return for a possible third arc. I’m not sure I really want that to happen but I feel like that’s where they’re going. I think I prefer Callum using dark magic to imprison him (without being killed somehow) cause I’m a sucker for dark Callum, but I doubt that will happen. Welp, let’s see!

Ep9:

• Intro: still Claudia? Still Claudia. So no Callum this season:(

• Ezran riding zym!

• Zym??!?! Well that’s convenient

• Rayla!? “My heart for xadia” IM SOBBING

• Is it weird I kinda want them to go through with it? Killing Callum? I know they won’t. But it’s exactly my type of tragedy and it would be so good

• He’s doing it!?!!!!

• What?? Nooo. Avizandum?

• WHITE STREAK!!!

• “I will not watch another daughter die”

• Ooo storm spire

• Zubeia!!?!

• Ok so I was right. They kinda half assed it but I’m glad Callum at least tried to do dark magic. Even though I didn’t like that it didn’t work. It’s clear they wanted to kill Aaravos so he could come back in a potential third arc, but they still wanted Callum to actually do something. So… yeah I’m not sure how I feel. I wanted Callum to do it but it feels weird that it was for nothing. But tdp is kinda a master of building up something really cool and tragic and then not following through:(

• I LOVE THAT CALLUM GOT THE WHITE STREAK THOUGH!! AND ITS PREMANENT!!!

• Are there going to be any actual consequences for it though? Or is it fine cause he didn’t finish? What happened to it will consume you?

• Also what about the cube!?!?!

• So all the arch dragons died?

• BROTHERS!! Reconciliation!

• Gegahishejakak!!! ZYM TALKED?!!!?? Oh god I hate this I hate this so much it feels so wrong! Why is that his voice!??!!?!! I knew it had to happen at some point but it’s still weird

• Miyana had twins

• And so democracy was invented!

• Ok so Claudia is just gonna wait huh

• … is this when we find out bird harrow was real all along?

• WHAT??!?!!!!?!?!!!!!! I WAS JOKING!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING!? THIS CANNOT BE REAL!!! NO PLEASE THEY’RE NOT ACTUALLY DOING THIS!!?!!!??????? Was this actually the plan all along?? It can’t be. This undermines so much. No. I refuse to accept this.

• Are we getting a proposal?!

• Ok we’re not. That’s fine honestly. I like this!

• Rayllum kiss counter: 7!

• Ok the font is way too hard to read but this is really sweet!

• Soooo… seven year time skip right? For the next arc? If we get one. PLEASE NETFLIX LET THERE BE ONE!

And it’s over! I have a lot of thoughts but I still need time to process. There are many things I loved, some things I didn’t, but overall I really liked it! Still can’t believe they went with bird harrow omg. WHY.

Maybe I’ll write down some actual opinions and thoughts when I find out what they are but we’ll see. NETFLIX. GIVE US THE SAGA!!

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 13]

What I love the most about Atcham's introduction is the insane amounts of blood in this scene. 😊

My personal interpretation of what's happening in this scene is as follows: Julith arrived in Brakmar. Asked around where to find Atcham. Learned he's kinda in the middle of a huge fight. Went to the location of the fight and found this. Voilà.

Both the walls, and the people involved in this fight, have had the shit scratched out of them.

This implies so much about their relationship, as does the lore article on Atcham (though, as I've said, lore articles are something that gets retconned pronto, the second Ankama has a different idea.)

Ankama will never elaborate on this or flesh this out but they're friends. to me <3

Or on friendly terms, I suppose. She was his commander in the war, after all.

There is so much to unpack in this fucking image, besides the fact that all of them are obviously freshly shaved, and many of them are missing chunks of clothes. Ok, so:

Somehow he stuffed a guy into a barrel.

There's a gray iop here. I guess the insane custom colors for mmo characters are real and true.

There's a broken hammer on top of this guy's head.... bro...

Someone's hair has been pinned to the wall.

He shaved this guy's back, made him eat his own underwear, and stabbed him through the nose.

This guy, whose back has also been shaven clean, seems to be impaled through the spike, which is exiting through his spine. Bro...

If they didn't have a good relationship, he would try and kill her for this joke.

Atcham is a fancy smoker.

More importantly, he's a type of guy who smokes after pleasurable activity (there is no way that, considering the level of insanity here, that he does not derive exquisite pleasure from violence.)

If they had a deep, emotional friendship, this would not be his reaction to learning she is alive. When I say that Julith and Atcham are friends, I mean that I like to imagine they would celebrate and drink together, after killing people.

She put Kerubim's hair between her tits for transportation.

The context of Atcham:

Knowing, for 7 years, where Kerubim lived, but probably deciding not to do anything because of baby Joris

Trying to, without success, locate and beat the shit out of Kerubim now that Joris is 10

both make this very funny.

He's so sad... </3

As I've said, there is absolutely no way Atcham doesn't know Joris. He's Kerubim's most dedicated and beloved stalker. He knew where they lived for 7 years.

Does she really think Joris will ever forgive her for this? Does she actually think he'll go along, out of anything but fear?

He's so goddamn cute.

As I've said, Julith is a piece of shit of a human being. lmao.

[dramionediscussion]

Can we talk about fic pet peeves?

I want to make it clear that this is not about a specific fic or author, but just some things I've seen in this fandom over the years. I've been reading Dramione for almost 15 years now and there are so many things that authors include that have become a pet peeve of mine.

This is not just exclusive to Dramione though, I have dabbled in other HP pairs before (e.g., Hansy, Theomione) and other fandoms (Gossip Girl, Elementary), and I have seen the same things there. I also have definitely come across some of these in published romance novels.

But this is a Dramione blog, so I will talk about them in context to this pairing.

Men being the cause of the breakup. So many times it's always Draco who messes up or says something horrible or doesn't "do enough". He is the one who has to repent and beg for forgiveness. Very rarely do you see a fic where Hermione is the one who is wrong and needs to apologize. And even when she does, it's always Draco who cuts her off and spins it around and makes him the bad guy who caused Hermione to be that way, and she doesn't actually have to work hard for forgiveness. Just a simple "I'm sorry" and he then says "no no, it's me....".

Having more than one conflict in a fic. Halfway through a story, the pair will have a major fight, which causes them to part. You then have a few chapters of them reflecting and then talking and making up. Then towards the last quarter of the fic, something comes up again and the characters react in the same way as before. You would think that they would have learned from the previous argument and not jump to conclusions and actually communicate. It feels like we are taking one step forward and 5 steps back. Why was this necessary? Why show your characters acting this way and show that they did not grow as people?

Focusing on so many other characters. I get that ensemble fics are a thing, but you need to say that in the beginning. You cannot just tag Draco and Hermione as the pairing, and then 5 chapters in, half the page is Harry and Ginny dialogue with no mention of the main pair. Let people know these things.

Speaking of other pairs, you need to tell your readers if you are gonna include scenes of Draco or Hermione having sex with other people. You need to tag these side pairings and say that we will read explicit scenes with Ron or Astoria or someone. We came for Draco and Hermione smut, not Ron or Pansy or Astoria or Viktor.

Since we are on the topic of tags. TAG ALL YOUR WARNINGS! So many times authors don't tag Rape/Non-Con!! Tag pregnancy difficulties, tag character deaths, tag the non-Dramione endings, tag violence, tag blood and gore, and tag any and all kink. Just tag things, it doesn't spoil the fic for people. Letting people know about things that may trigger them is not spoiling, it's human decency to let us know what your fic will entail.

Hermione's parents not being in the fic. Now I know Hermione sent her parents away before the war, but so many times you read about her not going back for them, not being able to retrieve their memory, then not wanting to be part of her life because of what she did. I understand it if this is a part of the fic, Hermione essentially grieving the loss of her parents. But what I have noticed is that most times author just have a throwaway line that her parents are not in her life, and it seems like it's not a big deal. Like oh well Hermione's mother is non-existent, but hey she has Molly now! Hermione's parents are not important in the HP canon, and it seems like authors feel the same, which is sad.

Molly being the matriarch of the trio. In canon, she kind of is because the stories are from Harry's perspective and he encounters the Weasleys and ingrains himself with their family, but she is always portrayed this way in fanfiction as well. As I mentioned in the previous comment, Hermione's mother isn't there so authors make Molly the mother figure for her, which is fine but authors make their relationship closer than what canon implies. But Draco also has a mother and most times we see Molly in the story more than Narcissa. I would assume that Narcissa would be the matriarch of that fic rather than Molly in a Dramione.

Harry and Ron being too involved in Hermione's life. Again this is fine, but it does get annoying to see fic after fic of them butting too much into her life and getting angry when she makes her own decisions. Friends should not try to control you, but guide and offer advice and be there if you fail.

Hermione not having friends outside of Harry and the Weasleys. I would assume that as they got older and got into the real world, they would meet new people and make new friends, not only stick to the same people they knew since they were 11. The Wizarding World is small, but we do have so many other characters in canon that you can use, it's okay to have Hermione become best friends with Padma, Luna, or Dean. You can have Draco even becoming bffs with Neville. He too is always stuck with Blaise or Theo and Pansy. Sometimes he doesn't have any friends and the fic only shows Hermione's friends.

If a fic starts off with Draco and Hermione having a relationship with another person, the breakup is always a bad one. People in real life have amicable breakups with their partners, it doesn't always have screaming and yelling and hatred. Most times this is used as a catalyst for the drama in a fic, but I would like to read a fic where Ron stays friends with Hermione and listens to her when she is talking about Draco, him offering advice or teasing her about a crush. It would be nice to see Astoria and Draco doing the same. And I say this as a huge "Ron Weasley Bashing" fan.

Hermione not knowing about fashion and makeup and having to rely on Ginny for help to get read for a date. Nowhere in canon does it claim that Hermione is like this, so how is this a common trope? I think this feeds into the "Hermione is not like other girls trope".

Hermione being the Brightest Witch of Her Age. In canon this is not a real thing, it is not an honorific that was bestowed on her by some sort of higher authority. It was something Harry and Remus said, it was their opinion. So having multiple people in a fic say this as though it is a proper title given to her annoys me honestly. Because when this happens, the fic always tends to have her being the only one who can solve the problem. So many people came before her and weren't able to do this particular thing, but Hermione somehow accomplished it without much help, with just a few books and at the ripe age of 24! These types of fics tend to have their characters fresh out of Hogwarts, so they are young but are able to become Heads of Departments! Can you imagine the 30/40-something-year-old who has been working for over 10/15 years in the ministry thinking it's only a matter of time before they get promoted to senior status, then suddenly this 20-year-old who just finished school walks in and gets the highest position without any experience or further education? I'd riot!

Draco not having a job. Many times fics have Hermione working hard in her career, but Draco is "in the family business" or "does investments". What does this mean???

Hermione being a virgin while Draco is the sex god. This trope feels sexist.

Hermione not doing anything muggle. This is similar to Harry in canon. It feels like Hermione forgot where she came from, and she doesn't care to go into the muggle world, or take Draco there.

Draco being obsessed with Hermione. Sometimes fics make his whole life revolve around her.

Luna being seen as weird. After all she has done and all she has shown to people that she is a smart, brave, very important friend to the trio, we still have scenes where Hermione and her friends make fun of Luna and her creatures. That is just rude.

This is all I can think of at the moment. I know this is a lot, but I kind of stopped reading fics for a while and as I managed Dramioneasks during this time, I would see new fics and just add them to my bookmarks. So I am now catching up on those fics and I feel like I am reading the same stuff over and over. Same tropes, same themes, same personalities, which is not a bad thing but it does give rise to pet peeves and thinking about older fics and how things haven't really changed over the last 15 years or so of my dramione life.

Again this is not from one fic or one author, but multiple fics and authors I have read over the years. Some of the fics I think are 5 stars have these pet peeves in them.

Do you guys agree with these? Do you have more to add? Leave them in the comments or send us a message. I would love to discuss and rant with you!

-Lisa

[daitranscripts]

Cole Conversation: Warm Approval

Tell Me How You Think

Cole Masterpost

PC: Can you explain how your mind works?

Cole: Yes.

1 - Dialogue options:

General: Explain the helping process. [2]

General: You think about our friends. [3]

General: What do you see in me? [4]

General: It seems a sad way to be. [4]

General: Goodbye. [5]

1 - General: Explain the helping process. PC: Walk me through the way you help someone. Cole: I start by listening. I hear hurt, feel it fretting. Some you can solve by giving something. Food, a blanket, sleep. Some are intangible, terrible tangles that catch on a crack. Fixed, festering, and the person makes a pearl of pain. I shake it loose. No pearl, no pain. They can hope, they can heal. [back to 1]

2 - General: You think about our friends. PC: Sometimes you say things that relate to other members of the Inquisition. Cole: They remember me. Their eyes stick, some more. They want me to be.

Cole made more human Cole: Varric lied. His bow broke. It was a trick trigger, a trap, but it helped like the truth. Solas isn’t afraid of me. He sees spirits and understands. But he’s sad underneath. [back to 1]

Cole made more spirit Cole: Varric, a stone reaching for brightness, spinning stories of color he can’t see. Calling me “kid,” calming. Solas, bright and sad, reminding me how to fly free, forgive, forgiven, forget. [back to 1]

Cole’s personal quest not completed Cole: Varric is quiet inside. He pulls me more to here. Makes me a person. Calls me “kid.” A friend. Solas, bright and sad, observes and accepts. Spirit self, seeing the soul, Solas, but somehow sorrows. [back to 1]

3 - General: What do you see in me? PC: What do you sense when you focus on me? Cole: You’re too bright. Like counting birds against the sun. The mark makes you more. But past it…

Cole (mage PC): You reach across, mindful, meaning. You pull it through to this side, make it real here. Cole (Qunari PC): Old blood, deeper, passion pounding pulsing, unchecked. Raw rage, but only an option. Cole (dwarf PC): The stone, still there, silent and reaching up for the blood that walks. No dreams with the cord cut. You sell it. Cole (Dalish PC): Pulled, blood that is not blood, a tiny trace of time. Lips struggling to shape language your parents lived. Cole (human PC): War and weariness, blood and battle. Life learning to lead, clash, kill.

Cole: And past that, the weight of all on you. All the hopes you carry, fears you fight. You are theirs. It must be very hard. I hope I help. [back to 1]

4 - General: It seems a sad way to be. PC: It must be sad, feeling everyone’s pain all the time. Cole: Why? PC: Isn’t it? Cole: No. I help. I find wounds and heal them. I salve, soothe, save. I see pain and make it better. How could I not be happy? [back to 1]

5 - General: Goodbye. PC: I’ll talk to you later.

[leomeoi]

Happier

The title is from the song "Happier" by Marshmello Bastille. The lyrics "I want you to be happier. Know that means I'll have to leave." spoke to me. Please read the wonderful @tapakah0's comic and watch the amazing animatic they did that this work is inspired from. (Please forgive any out of characterness or grammar mistakes, I had no Beta Reader and wrote this in one sitting.) Thank you so much to Tapakah for drawing this amazing comic and answering my questions, as well as allowing me to write a fic for their work.

Oh, obligatory warning. This is angst. There is major character death, violence, and sadness. It ends unhappy (for now.) Proceed with caution and make informed decisions!

Click here for a link to the Archive Of Our Own version!

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Today's a big day.

Arguably, every day that they go out to fight the Krang that have infiltrated every nook, cranny, and crevice of their lives all those years ago is a big day. Raphael can't help but feel the bone-crushing load of responsibility that weighs down on his shoulders as he watches the hubbub of activity from the head. As he scans the faces of each person—human and mutant alike—with his one good eye, Raph feels as if his shell might just crack. He's not naive. There's nothing normal about this. He knows that they won't be able to save everyone, there'll be casualties. Their days are numbered, and the world just isn't fair in that way. The Krang aren't merciful. It could be anyone that they lose, there's no off-limits, and there's no way of predicting what shade of grief they'll experience today. As more and more days go by, Raphael can't shake the feeling that every victory they have is just a pyrrhic one. Even still, they fight. Everyone currently in the shelter of this hangar does. They all hope for a better future, a chance to reclaim all that they lost and there's not a single person who isn't willing to sacrifice it all. There's nothing more important than to ensure the success of this battle they're about to fight in the world war they've been waging against the invading advanced alien species.

He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to think about all the people that they've lost. It sends ripples of agony tearing through his chest, a physical ache that he can feel permeate even his plastron. It's a horrid fact that death is actually the most merciful thing the Krang can gift them with. They've lost countless others to infection, the result of that blasted plague yielding pink, fleshy atrocities, the host twisted and manipulated into a mere shell of their former self. They cannot be qualified as a person by then, bestial creatures hellbent on destruction and controlled by the very violators that infected them to begin with. It's a fate worse than death, the loss of will and self; they move only to the will impressed upon them. Raph's arms cross even tighter across his broad chest, his teeth grinding. The cold metal of his right arm reminds him that he's gotten off lucky. His fingers dig into his elbows as he stands, a grim and foreboding figure against the thoughts that plague his mind. He knows that he's gotten lost under the pressure of his thoughts when he stirs only at a warm touch against his forearm.

"Raph? You okay, big man?"

The sound of Leo's voice snaps him out of it further. His tone is bright, but Raph can hear the undertow of concern. Raph tears his gaze away from the milling crowd and looks down, meeting his brother's gaze. Even though it's been years, Raphael still can't help the flare of pride every time he sees Leo and how much he's changed over the years. It seems like yesterday that Raphael had to scold, nag, and practically plead with his younger sibling to get him to take things seriously. He knows that being the leader was a pressure that Leonardo never wanted, but once he's received it, he'd learned the gravity of the role. Sometimes, Raph thinks Leonardo has outgrown him, just the way that Raphael thought he would. A lesser turtle would have broken under the pressure, but Leonardo is as strong as he is stubborn. He stands against the test of time and loss, brave and unrelenting. He now leads with a certainty that has saved them on numerous occasions, and Raphael truly couldn't be prouder of how much he's grown into the role given to him.

Leonardo must see the way Raph's eyes soften because the sharp grin on his face loses its charming edge, too. Raph's chest feels tight as if his heart would burst out from the confines of his plastron. It's an entirely different reason than just a few seconds before when the grim reality was moments from overwhelming him.

He really is so proud.

"Yeah, Raph's okay. Just thinking." Raphael flashes his snaggletooth in a wide smile, and Leo mirrors it.

Normally, the conversation would end there. Raph wasn't the best at expressing his feelings, and Leonardo was even less so. He doesn't have the same connection to Leo that Donatello seems to have—they are self-proclaimed twins after all. They communicate almost solely on looks and gestures as if that's enough to convey exactly what it is they want to say. They leave nearly everything unsaid, but that's simply not something Raph can do. It's easy to communicate with Mikey; he's the best of them all. Still, there's so much that he wants to say to Leo, but it's almost time to leave. Raph can tell by the way things are quieting, the chaos of getting prepared sinking into the hum of calm and determined poise. Even with it all, Raphael is gripped with the unshakable feeling that he simply needs to get out. He doesn't know what it is, but it's an undeniable urge.

Leonardo's about to turn away. Despite the eternity that Raph feels like he just went through in his struggle to find the right words, mere seconds have passed. Raph decides that he doesn't need pretty words like Donnie, or the innate ability Mikey has to say exactly what a turtle needs to hear. Leo will understand. He knows Raph. He knows that they're connected and understand each other in a way that only those who have and are responsible for the lives of many can.

"Leo," he starts, and Raph almost winces at how serious he sounds. Leo blinks at the sudden change in tone, but he doesn't falter. His easy grin changes almost immediately, and the fact he no longer tries to deflect serious conversation with humor when it comes to Raphael brings yet another wave of pride. Leo stands before him, waiting. He's listening.

Raphael nods to himself, lifting a hand to place on Leonardo's shoulder. He squeezes and shakes Leo lightly, a reassuring gesture. His snaggletooth makes even more of an appearance as he smiles wide. "Raph is so proud. You've kicked ass and grown. You don't need lil ol' me anymore. I could not be more proud."

Surprise flits through Leo's eyes before it's replaced by something else. His gaze is piercing, eyes dark and almost unreadable. Almost. In another time, Raph wouldn't have ever thought that he'd know Leo so well. The feeling is potent, and Raph can feel it, too. It charges him with strength, and a new lightness finds his spirit. The iron trust that Leo has in him shines in his eyes, and Raphael had almost felt too small to withstand the weight of it once. Now, it gives Raph the strength he needs to continue on.

It seems to have been the right time to say what he was thinking.

Leonardo's shoulders square, and he seems to grow even taller before Raphael's very eyes. "Don't kid yourself, Raph," Leo chuckles. He slaps at Raph's arm lightly with a pat. "I'll always need my big brother." They both laugh at that, the serious mood broken up as their chortles sound in the room. With that, Leonardo turns away, moving his attention to something else that they need to be as prepared as they ever will be. Raph doesn't really concern himself with that anymore unless Leo needs him to. Bolstered by warmth, Raph knows that he needs to make his own rounds. He walks through the crowd, and people part way for him to accommodate his bulk. He stops and talks to a few, bumps elbows with April, and high-fives Cassandra. Somewhere along the line, Cass and Raph had grown closer. Undoubtedly, it was because of a certain young individual they spent any spare moment they had with.

Somewhere in the middle of that, Raph finds who he's looking for. "Donnie," he calls, and his brother whirls towards him. Donnie's battle shell remains engaged in what seems to be furious typing, his purple holographs buzzing with ninpo. A fond smile lights up Raph's face—even in the midst of preparing for a big battle, Donatello is always moving. His mind is always working, and Raphael wonders if it's because it's so loud that Donnie rarely ever sleeps.

"Raph," Donnie greets, the lenses of his red and blue goggles whirring as they adjust to parse Raph. Then, Donnie groans. "What did Nardo break now? I swear, I told him I'm gonna kick his shell if he breaks one more damn thing, so he decides to send you to break the news? I'm gonna find him-" He starts to grouse, and Raphael is sent into a frenzy trying to placate him.

"No, no! Leo didn't break nothin'. Just... Raph just wanted to talk to you. Before everything." Raphael shrugs, his hands outstretched and spread to show his surrender. Donatello squints and it's obvious that he's suspicious. His drawn-on eyebrows arch, and Raphael can't help but laugh again. There is no doubt that Donatello is the most expressive one of them all. His eyebrows only add to his charm, and over the years, he's grown into his skin even more. Raph thinks that Donatello is also the one to hide his emotions the most, choosing pragmatism and logic over the pursuit of emotions at all times. It's also why Raph thinks that Donatello's mask—the persona that he adopts—rivals Leo's.

In truth, Donatello is generous. He's a genius, a maniacal scientist, and Raph knows that his mind works in ways unmatched. He knows that it's because Donnie is Donnie that they've been able to maintain a semblance of a life. Raph knows that Donnie works himself to the bone for them, and fixes every problem that crops up that others don't even know where to begin. The thing with Donnie is that he's so, so generous, with a heart that's about as soft as his shell. Raph knows that he doesn't want anyone to know. Donnie gives them his all every day, every minute, and every second. It's enough for Raph to worry that one day, Donnie will give, give, and give until there's nothing left. Raphael has always silenced that voice, knowing that it comes from a selfish part of Raph that wants his brothers cared for, apocalypse be damned. Now, though. Raph thinks he can convey what he wants to say to Donnie at least once in a way that he can't be misunderstood.

Taking Donnie's suspicious look in stride, Raphael reaches up to rap his knuckles against his metal prosthetic. It makes a sharp sound each time he does, and Raph grins in spite of it all. "I know I've said this already, but Dontron... Thanks again. I know that this-" Raph gestures to all around him, and then again to his arm, "-couldn't have happened without you." Donnie seems to have been caught off guard by the sincere way Raphael is saying what he wants to say. Still, he recovers fast.

"Why, of course. I'm glad you realize that you need my brilliant mind and recognize that this is all in courtesy of the great Donatello, a.k.a. moi." Donatello's eyes are half-moons, his goggles retreating to the top of his head. His grin is smug, but Raph can see the genuine curls of delight that cause the corners of the said grin to twitch into an almost smile. Donatello's arms outstretch to gesture to the entire facility, and the simple movement makes him look bigger than life. It's grandiose, enthusiastic, and just as bombastic as Raph would have expected Donnie to respond with. Raphael doesn't bother stopping the laugh that escapes him, and his deep laughter seems to infect Donnie, too. He laughs with Raph, a small rumble mixed with the beginnings of a chirp. After the laughter dies down, Donnie gives Raph another grin. "Okay, now that you have me sufficiently buttered up, what did you break?" Donnie asks, his voice teasing. Raphael recognizes it for the jest that it is, and he snorts again.

"I keep tellin' you, nothing's broke!" Raphael's hands lift and they settle on Donatello's shoulders. He can't be too serious. Donnie will be too busy trying to make light of the words leaving Raph's mouth in his mind to truly understand what he's trying to say. Raph smiles. "Just tryna say thank you, Dontron. You're right, we need your brilliant mind, but that's not all we need," he gently reminds the younger turtle. "You're our Donnie, too. Our brother. Raph just wants to make sure that you take care of yourself, too. Less coffee, more sleep." He shrugs, his voice light. For a moment or two, Donnie says nothing. His eyes are wide, fixated on Raph's. It's enough to make Raph nervous and wonder if he's gone too far, but his fears are dispelled when Donnie's shoulders slump slightly under his hands.

"When did you turn all Dr. Feelings? Isn't that Michelangelo's job?" Donnie jokes and makes a face, but his voice shakes just enough to convey that he understands what Raph is trying to say. Raphael chooses to act mock-offended, going along with the bit.

"Hey! Are you saying Raph can't say that he loves his brothers?" He huffs, and Donnie rolls his eyes. The heavier moment dispels and Donnie's attention is suddenly needed elsewhere, judging by the beeping that he can hear. Raph lets his hands fall from Donatello's shoulders.

"Duty calls. No rest for the wicked." Donnie sighs, somehow dramatic and sincere at the same time. His eyes are closed as he says this, but he peeks out at Raph. That's enough for Raph to spot the gentle glint in his brother's eye. "But..." he intones, combining the sound with another sigh. "I'll try." Raph grins.

"All I ask." He nods, and Donnie hums. He's reorienting himself, Raph has heard that noncommital hum too many times to not know. "I'll see you later, Dontron," Raphael says before he loses Donnie in a string of mutters, and Donnie gives him a wave as his goggles return to his face, already focusing on what had pulled him away.

Raphael keeps walking. He dodges children, people, and mutants. It's not easy with his build, and he sticks out like a sore thumb from size alone. Still, it's not enough to deter him from finding Mikey. Mikey's as easy to spot as it is to spot Raph in a crowd. His powerful ninpo rolls off him in waves, mysticality crackling under his fingertips. It surges through his entire body, and it's almost impossible to miss. He's often haloed in a golden light, something that's as warm as his spirit. Over the years, Mikey has only grown more powerful, but with his abilities, so does his wisdom. Mikey is no longer just the goofy turtle he'd been before; he is wise beyond his years, capable, and strong. He's the inspiration within the Resistance, the ever-burning beacon of hope. Raph has leaned on him for support more times than he can count, and Mikey has more than once single-handedly born the grief of hundreds after a bad battle. Many turn to him for guidance now.

Raph finds him in the exact position that he thought he would.

"Mikey," he says, trying to hold back laughter. At Raph's voice, Mikey looks up, expression bright.

"Raph! Hiya, bud. Apparently, my hair's getting too long!" He says, voice full of cheer and contentment. He's surrounded by an ethereal glow, and floating. His legs are crossed, and there is a gaggle of giggling children running around him. They dip below him from where he's floating, dodging each other while they play tag. The innocence of the view seems to heal all the old wounds and the scars littering Raph's heart momentarily. There's another taller child with her fingers in Mikey's hair, and upon closer inspection, she's braiding it. Mikey already has multiple little braids here and there in his hair, and it's a sight that makes Raph's caught laughter burst free.

"Really? Raph thinks it's fine." He tilts his head as he inspects Mikey, and he's sure his expression mirrors Mikey's. Raph edges closer before he sits down with a mighty groan, and maybe a bit of a heavier thud than he'd wanted. The children crow as the ground shakes a little when Raph sits down, and he's swarmed. They crawl all over his legs, chattering excitedly, and Raph sits and listens. He and Michelangelo both do. They bask in the simple joy that the children exude. They ask him all kinds of questions, and Raph answers the best he can. They tell him nonsensical stories, about everything Mikey has been telling them, stories of times before the Krang. It's a bittersweet experience, knowing that there's a chance that these children will never experience what they had. Still, the tenacity and hope these children hold to someday seeing all that they've been told of is infectious. It reminds him of something their dad has always told them.

Hope is a ninja's greatest weapon.

Eventually, the children go off to Mikey's gentle shooing, as if he knows that Raphael has something important to say. The bond they share is close to the silent bond that Leonardo and Donatello share. In the past, Raphael and Michelangelo had clashed on more than one occasion. Raph knows he could be overprotective. He had been, back then, and Raph is old enough to admit that. Michelangelo had been the youngest, and even though he still is, Raphael trusts that he can protect himself now. That he can protect all of them. More than anything, Raph trusts Mikey with the Resistance. He trusts Mikey with their family. It's an all-encompassing trust that's hard to explain, even if he tries. After the Krang, after they'd been forced to grow, their relationship had changed forever. It was for the better. They'd grown closer, and the need for verbal communication has nearly faded from existence. Michelangelo can read Raph like a book. Even now, he waits for Raphael to collect his thoughts because he knows that his older brother has something to say. Raphael is grateful for it, just like all the times before.

After another few moments of silence, Raph wordlessly leans. He leans enough that their shoulders touch. He can feel the warmth spilling from Michelangelo, and it's comforting in ways that he can't describe. Mikey hums, but he doesn't say anything. His short braids are slowly coming loose, and they both stare from the sidelines as their people gather the rowdy children, scooping them up for hugs and kisses. Raph swallows. The heavy feeling from earlier returns. How many of these children would end up orphaned after this fight? He ignores a palpable thought about Casey Jr. that flits through his mind as fast as lightning. He doesn't want to think about that now. Raphael knows that Mikey can sense the dread that is approaching, the muted fear and grief that is already threatening his horizon. In front of Mikey, Raphael doesn't really find the need to appear as strong as he feels he needs to be around everyone else. He knows Mikey understands.

"Mikey," he starts, his voice suddenly hoarse around the lump in his throat. Michelangelo doesn't respond, just nudges his shoulder into Raph's harder. Raph takes a deep breath. He needs to say what he actually has on his mind, or he might burst. He's mentioned it to Donatello before, but Donnie hadn't let him finish. He'd dismissed the notion, he'd been angry with Raph for thinking such things. Raph hadn't broached the subject again. Now, he thinks it's a good time to. "If Raph doesn't make it back, please take care of our family." He smiles, feeling a hot pressure starting to build behind his eye. He knows that it's tears. Michelangelo still doesn't say anything. Raph presses on. "If- Donnie said somethin’ before about the mission goin' wrong and said that it's likely going to be Leo who's out for the count. I dunno if Donnie's goin' to be right, but it's Donnie. He probably is." He laughs, trying to free some of the building pressure in his throat. He swallows, again. Harder this time.

"Don't let Leo blame himself. Or Donnie. An'... An' I don't want you blaming yourself either. Okay?" Raph finally turns his head to look at Mikey and finds that Mikey is staring at him. Michelangelo is looking at him with a pained expression on his face. He doesn't bother hiding it. He knows what Raph is talking about, and even if he doesn't interrupt, Raph knows that Mikey is struggling already with the thought of something going awry. "I know it's goin' to be hard. But... But you're the strongest of us all, Mikey. In here." Raph reaches over, placing a hand over his brother's plastron. "They're gonna need you. It's not fair, I know. But they are. Just... Just remember me for me, an' the good things. Keep goin'. Keep them goin'." Raph's smile is trembling, he knows. He sees Michelangelo struggle for a moment or two before he feels and sees Mikey let out a harsh, near-guttural breath. His eyes are glassy as if he's holding back tears. Then, Mikey nods.

"Okay," Mikey whispers. Raphael keeps the smile on his face and nods back. Then, Raphael pulls Mikey into a hug. He hugs him tight, and he can't help but notice just how small Mikey is compared to him. He feels even more sorrowful, knowing that Mikey is still the youngest but Raph is asking so much from him. He's come to realize and know that Mikey is incredibly powerful, and because of that, sometimes he forgets just how young Mikey still is. Raph tightens his grip. That seems to be enough for Michelangelo. He hugs back, and they stay that way for a few heartrending moments. Raphael eventually pulls back, and if he did so with a sniffle, no one is going to call him out on it.

Raph gives Mikey's shoulders one last squeeze before he releases his brother. He swivels his head back to their people, and Raph knows that they're ready. He finds his way back onto his feet and pushes through the crowd again, heading towards the front lines. He sees Leo. He's waiting for Raph. Raphael takes a deep breath to collect himself before he lets his focus overcome the dread that he'd experienced mere moments ago. He finds his rightful place next to Leo.

"You ready?" Leo's voice is quiet, a muted question. There's the slightest hint of uncertainty, and Raph knows more than anyone what Leo's feeling.

"Ready." Raphael agrees, and his response seems to bolster Leo. He grins. Raph returns it with a smirk, straightening as he turns to face the crowd. "We're moving out soon! Everyone get ready!" He rumbles, voice filling the hangar. There are a few cheers, and everyone scrambles to get last-minute preparations underway. Among them is Cass. He watches as she stoops to hug her son. Raph watches, his heart in his throat as Casey giggles in his mom's arms, his little head poking up past Cass' shoulder. He squeals when he's lifted up by his mom, and Raph feels like he shouldn't intrude on the moment. He turns away despite his aching heart. He's about to walk away when he hears Casey's unmistakable voice. It's not Casey's voice that stops him dead in his tracks. It's what he says.

"Pap?"

For what feels like an eternity, Raph's brain blanks. He stands still as his brothers all laugh, equal parts disbelief and amusement. All Raph can do is flounder. Flashes of Splinter enter his mind, memories of their father dancing before his very eyes. Suddenly, it all makes sense. It's like his world realigns. What his brothers say becomes mush, and he can't seem to process anything but the single word he'd heard. The tears that he's been holding back well up, and Raph turns around on his heels. He strides forward and then stoops down, making himself as small as possible with a waterlogged smile. "Casey!" Raph calls, and his voice cracks, arms reaching forward. His chest is impossibly tight again, but he doesn't care. This is all that matters.

Cassandra's expression melts from one of stark surprise to a quiet fondness, and she crouches to let Casey back onto the floor. Upon the sight of Raph's outstretched arms, Casey races over to him. There's no hesitation until he reaches Raph, and suddenly, Raphael doesn't know what to do with himself. He's become this small human's pap, and he loves little Case with all of his heart. His hands shake, and he can't seem to stop them. He hovers, more concerned than ever that he would somehow hurt Casey. It turns out that his uncertainty doesn't matter. Casey blinks at Raph owlishly, then turns towards the hand that isn't a prosthetic. Raph's heart clenches. Casey reaches out, settling his tiny hand in Raph's. It's barely big enough to circle around one of Raph's fingers halfway. Casey smiles, holding onto the hand even tighter. He hugs it with his whole body, and Raph can only stand so much. His throat burns and his tears make an appearance as he pulls the child—no, his son—close. He holds him against his face, eye closing. He's so small. Everything is clear now.

This war, this fight… It’s for their future. They fight for their right to hand down a world that is secure, safe, and bright. They fight for the right to live freely. They fight to ensure that their children will never have to face the same hardship that their guardians did. It's worth fighting for, down to the last drop of blood, and the last shred of breath.

Raphael doesn't want to, but he knows he has to. He pulls back, releasing Casey from his hug. Case giggles again in response, and his small hands reach for Raph's face. "Oh, Casey. Papa will be back very soon." He smiles through his tears, and Casey grows serious. Raphael can't help but be startled at the determination on Casey's young face, and he has to hold his breath as Case brushes away the tears from his face. Raph nudges his forehead against Casey's one last time, gentle and loving. He pushes his child towards the crowd that's accumulated to bid them luck and goodbye. Despite his young age, Casey seems to realize that it's time to say goodbye. He backs away, but he waves to Raphael the entire time.

With newfound strength and courage fortifying his soul, Raph can feel his ninpo practically crackling. He's going to bring down the Krang, no matter what. For his brothers. For the Resistance. For all those that he lost. For Casey. He lifts an arm to scrub at his face, getting rid of the remainder of his tears. When he talks again, his voice is strong and booms through the halls. "Let's move out!"

Raphael leads the entourage. His expression is set in stone, and his remaining eye burns with untamable fire.

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Somehow, Raph has always known that it would end this way. He's not one for grand maniacal plans like Donnie, not strategic like Leo, or even as mystically talented as Mikey. There is one thing that he knows how to do, something that he's better at than anybody else.

He knows it'll take everything he has.

But that's okay. It gives his brothers, Casey, April, and everyone in the Resistance a fighting chance. A shot at a better future.

He doesn't tell anyone that his mind is already made up. The chaos of the battle rages around them, but all sound is muffled to Raphael. There is an eerie calm descending on him. He can feel the dead weight of Leo in his arms. He glances around, and that's all he needs to conclude that they're in trouble. They're out of options. The sound of screams and cries of their people fighting—and losing—echo. It pierces through the shrouded veil that is surrounding Raphael. A newfound clarity settles, and the knowledge of what he's about to do makes him ache for all those he's leaving behind.

I'm sorry, Casey, he thinks, swallowing. Papa won't be making it home.

"Donnie. You were right," Raphael chuckles, the sound dry and wretched. He looks toward the holographic screen that has Donnie's face. "It is Leo that gets knocked out." At his words, Donatello's face twists. A flicker of understanding seems to bode before it disappears, a fierce look of denial taking over the lines of his face.

"Yes, well, I'm almost always right. 99.99% of the time," Donnie responds, his voice wrecked. It's a low sound, full of pain and a new kind of desperation.

Raphael lays Leonardo down, his ministrations endlessly careful and gentle. He forgets about his strength often because he's a tank; he's as destructive as he is obstinate. Even still, he is careful with his unconscious brother. Leo's prosthetic is destroyed. Raph glances at his own.

A Krang hound overwhelms Leo while he fights hundreds of others; it manages to sink its teeth into the metal of Leo's arm. Raph can do nothing but watch in horror as the hound shakes Leo like a ragdoll. The hound continues to slam the turtle around repeatedly with brutal strength as if it was determined to rip Leo's arm out of its socket as it had already done once before. In Raphael's hurry, he tackles the dog with his full body weight after he wrestles his way closer, sending Krang creatures sprawling from the sheer force he plows through them with. Leo slams into the ground, and the impact is hard enough to knock him out cold with a pained grunt. Raphael growls, the sound twisting into a bone-chilling snarl. His hands grasp the top of the Krang mutt's jaw in a crushing grip, the other latching onto the lower jaw. With a furious cry, Raph wrenches the dog's mouth open. Unnatural howls leave the creature's mouth as it struggles, its screams of pain growing more frequent. Raphael doen't stop there. Once the alien releases the wreckage that had once been Leo's prosthetic, Raphael gives a mighty heave accompanied by a roar of rage. How dare the Krang take Leo's arm again?

The gory sound of bones snapping and the wet, horrid sound of skin ripping fill the air until Raph releases the remains of what had been a Krang creature from his hands. He sucks in deep breaths of air, panting from the extra exertion of strength. He steps away from the bloody carnage, stumbling towards Leo. He presses his head to Leo's plastron, relief flooding in at the sound of a heartbeat. "Leo," he calls, throat hoarse. He shakes his brother, hoping to rouse him. "Leo!" There is no response. He's out cold, injured, and without an arm. Raphael has no way of getting him to safety.

His closed eye opens. Raphael shakes himself out of his reverie of recounting memories. He knows what he has to do. "Don, how long until the shuttles arrive?" He questions. He sounds calm, even to his own ears. He sees Donatello look away towards his wrist screen, and Raph knows what the answer is before Donnie even says it. Donnie's eyes are distant, his brain racing. It's going a mile a minute only to come to the same conclusion. Nothing. Donnie can't move, Mikey is overwhelmed and fighting to get people to safety, and Leo is unconscious. Raph is the last mutant standing.

"Donnie." Raph calls again. He still wants to hear the answer. His gaze is fixed on the holo screen, and Donnie looks back at him with fervent eyes.

"15 minutes." The answer is delivered in a voice that sounds small and defeated. Raphael nods. His nod is more to himself than anything. Everything comes at a price.

"Don. Remember what Raph said, okay?" That's all Raph has to say before a wretched cry sounds from Donnie.

"No! There's another way, we still have time! Raphael, don't fucking do this!" Donnie's panic, rage, and pain are imprinted clearly in his desperate plea. He knows what Raphael is about to do. Raphael only looks at him through the holo screen. He knows what he looks like. He looks grim, determined. Fierce. Donnie reads his intentions loud and clear and tries again anyway. Raph feels as if someone is twisting a katana in his heart when he sees the way Donatello's face crumples, the way his head slumps. He tips his head downwards. "Please, Raph. Please, don't do this. Please," Donnie begs, but there's nothing Raphael can give him as an answer. They have no choice. Donnie knows this. Raphael looks away from the screen. He looks down at Leonardo and the destroyed prosthetic. Wordlessly, Raphael smiles. It's soft, affectionate. Leo looks so young like this. Raph reaches over, and his large fingers find the spot he's looking for on his arm. His prosthetic detaches with a hiss. He presumes where he's going, he won't need this. He hears Donnie make a sound that sounds like a mournful, cut-off cry. Donatello is smart. He's already put together why Raph is doing this. There aren't many supplies to rebuild prosthetics anymore. Raph carefully places his metal arm over Leo. It positions over him as if it's cradling and holding the younger turtle.

"Donatello." The use of his full name forces Donnie to look up, and there are tears running down his face without reserve. Raphael grins, his infamous snaggletooth making an appearance. "Take care of yourself. Raph will always be with you. Don't blame yourself, or anyone else. I know you all, and I know you will keep fighting. Beat them for me. Then, when you win, like a boss-" Raph emphasizes, his voice trembling for just a moment, "-remember me. Tell everyone how much I love them." Donnie says nothing. He's looking away from Raphael now, and Raph understands.

Raphael stands up. The dust and wind generated by the battlefield whip the tail ends of his bandanna around. He takes a deep breath. His mind flashes to all the people he's met in his life. Behind his eyelids, all his memories play out. Mikey. Donnie. Leo. April. Splinter. Barry. Cassandra. The Resistance. Casey. His heart seems to swell. It's for them. A fierce inferno suddenly sparks to life, fueled by all his grief, love, and passion. He's doing this for them. He will protect them, even if it's the last thing he does.

When Raph opens his eye, it glows red. Surges of energy crawl over his body as electricity would, and his teeth grit. There is no more fear. He takes a step forward, and the very ground shakes from the force. Already, his ninpo has grown his size. Bigger, he thinks.

Another earth-shattering thud. Pain surges through him, his body warning him of its constraints. He ignores it. Bigger.

This time, the earth cracks open under his foot as he takes another step. The pain is excruciating. Raphael can see the red lines spidering through his flesh, the cracks he absorbs with his entire body. His form remains solid. With each movement, his body is falling apart. He knows that if he continues, his body will tear itself apart. He will break like glass, and he will die. The thought doesn't do anything for him, and it only emboldens him to go faster. "Bigger!" He roars, his voice carrying through the battlefield in a cry so searing and fierce, he gains the attention of the lead Krang.

Krang creatures scatter from under his feet. Those that don't, he crushes. He is far from caring. He moves his way forward, soul on fire. If he can protect his people, his family, Raph will gladly feed his soul as fodder to his ninpo. His eye is fixated on the lead Krang as he fast approaches. Even from this distance, he can see the way the disgusting pink flesh alien's arrogance melts away into pure, unadulterated fear. It feels good. Raph grins, and he knows that his form follows suit. By the time the Krang realizes his intentions, it's too late. The roar of rage, fear, and defeat that Raphael hears is music to his ears as he grasps the Technodrome. His sheer size dwarfs the once massive ship. It fits into his hands the way a ball would, and his sudden fury at the thought of all those he lost to this alien ship causes his fingers to grasp tighter. His fingertips dig into the ship, and the groaning creak it gives as he crushes it bit by bit is exhilarating.

Raphael lifts it above his head. His ninpo holds strong, but he can feel every molecule of his body breaking under the pressure. He looks up at the sky. He'd wanted to see the blue skies with everyone at the end. At least, this way, he could help them do that, even if it's without him. His eye closes. I'm so proud of you all. I'll see you again. For now, this is Raph out. Like a boss. With a heaving cry that threatens to cleave the sky open and rip the very fabric of time, Raph opens his one eye. Tears fall from it as he fixates it on the lead Krang, his savage smirk only growing wider. He swings his raised arms down, slamming the Technodrome ship down with all of his strength. He screams, channeling every fiber of his being into ensuring that the ship is completely, utterly destroyed. They will never endanger their people with this ship again.

There is a burst of light accompanied by an earthquake that topples buildings and splits the ground, dust clogging the sky in a dirty mist that is impossible to see through. With it, shards of red float and swirl through the air. Everyone who knows what it is also knows what it means.

Raphael is gone.

--------------------------------------------

There's nothing Mikey can do. He watches as his brother tears himself apart to fight against the Krang. He watches in horror as Raphael screams in equal parts fury and agony, destroying something that is a detrimental blow to the Krang. His hands shake, and his vision blurs, but he can't look away. A sob rips from his throat as he holds Leo, his eyes fixated on the crackling red figure in the distance. One hand cradles Leo while the other is clenched tightly on Raph's prosthetic arm. Somehow, Raphael knew. Somehow. Mikey doesn't know if Raphael is able to hear him, but he grasps the fingers of Raphael's prosthetic as if he is clutching onto his hand. "I'm here! Raph, I'm here! You're not alone, I'm here!" He screams like a wild animal; his tears and grief are unending. He screams as loud as he can, hoping, praying, willing that Raphael hears that he's not alone and that Michelangelo will keep his promise.

He looks until he is forced to close his eyes at the burst of light. There is no one but Mikey to catalog Raphael's final moments. He has to remember, to see everything.

When he opens his eyes. all he sees is a crumbling red figure. It deteriorates, shards floating in the air before it disintegrates. Almost like it never existed. As if Raphael never existed. Mikey stays where he is, too stunned and grief-stricken to even cry out anymore. He watches as Raphael's ninpo disappears. He feels reality slipping from his grasp. His mind can't help but shy away from the possibility that Raphael is truly gone. He denies such a reality, but even that comes to a stop. Something red flits down from the sky, and Mikey reaches up. His ninpo grasps the item, and when he brings it closer, Mikey feels his heart shatter. In his trembling hand is Raphael's bandanna. The only remnant of their brother's body. The only proof that he existed, other than their ashen memories. With shaky hands, Michelangelo brings it closer. He lays Leo down and looks around. Almost numbly, he takes Leo's abandoned odachi. He ties the strip of red around the handle, closes his eyes, and presses his forehead against it. He's only like that for a moment before his eyes open again. The fire that burns within is an anger that burns brighter than magma in a volcano.

In another time, Mikey hadn't understood the word hate. The concept had eluded his grasp. Now... Now he knows what hate is, and more. His loathing now knows no bounds. He hates the Krang. He loathes them. The embers of his hate lodge in his throat as he snarls silently, eyes beginning to glow a fierce yellow. He burns with the force of the sun, his usual warm rays of light turning cruel. He will destroy them all. His orange bandanna falls from his face in ashes, and with it, his hair is released. He faces the enemy that has regrouped shakily from Raph's attack. The enemy that now has set their eyes upon their allies and the rest of them. Mikey knows that the shuttles have landed. He is the last line of defense against the enemy and his allies that need time to escape.

He's never been more glad for that fact. His power crackles, surrounding him like a violent whirlwind. The power surges through his body, and he can feel it chipping away at the years he has left in his body. His hair grows longer, blowing in the wind of his rage without his bandanna to hold it back. He floats, rising higher and higher into the sky as his power builds like a hurricane. He raises his arms, and Michelangelo holds onto his ninpo with a savage ferocity that almost outweighs the pain at the knowledge that Raph is now gone. His fury reaches new heights.

The coals that burn in his throat finally give, and the scream he lets out is like a banshee's. With it, he releases his ninpo. His power is as unforgiving and brutal as the sea, waves of light matching the caliber of a primordial force perhaps as old as time. It floods over the battlefield like an ocean, golden light rolling in with the strength of a tidal wave and the speed of a riptide. He screams again, but it is a wordless cry of unmatched wrath. Michelangelo will burn them. He will destroy every single one until there's nothing by ash and death. They will suffer the way that they have suffered. The blinding wave of light engulfs the approaching Krang, and with inhuman, blood-curdling shrieks, they burn in the fire of Michelangelo's hate.

Mikey lands down, his feet on the ground. He pants as he looks at the razed land before them. Suddenly, all his strength ebbs from him as he falls to his knees. He feels empty. With a sudden hiccuping sob, Michelangelo raises his hands to his face, burrowing into them as he cries uncontrollably. Raphael is still gone.

--------------------------------------------

Donatello numbly watches as his wrist pad notifies him that the shuttle is arriving in 10 minutes. He feels detached. Everything is hazy, layered in a white fog. He feels as if nothing matters. He stays where he is, his eyes distant. His thoughts are quiet, for once. There's just... Nothing. He stares blankly at the horizon. He hadn't been able to see Raph's sacrifice. He isn't sure if he should feel grateful for that or not, so he doesn't think about it at all. There are other Krang and people fighting, but Donatello can't seem to pull himself together. It's all just so... Distant. Like he's not with this reality anymore. The logical part of his brain wonders if the powerful surges of energy and the earth-shattering showdown that has occurred have somehow transported him into a different universe. He almost laughs at the thought. Why does he feel nothing?

The shuttles arrive. The shuttles arrive but Donatello doesn't move. He watches as others run to the shuttle. He can't help but feel a little resentful towards them, a dull flare in the dark abyss. Do they know what sacrifice just occurred to save their lives? Are they grateful? A distant part of him observes from its detachment the observation he makes is unfair. Donnie doesn't care. In the far distance, he sees April looking around. He can even see her face wet with tears as she searches. Some part of him knows that she's looking for him. She's looking for Leo, Mikey, Raph, or him. His distant thoughts suddenly screech to a stop. Raph. Raphael. She... She won't be able to search for him anymore. She won't find him. Suddenly, everything becomes too sharp. Too clear. The agony that rushes in almost makes him wish for the detached daze he had just been in.

It's at that time that he hears Mikey's scream. It emotes all that he's feeling, and it delivers a blow so gut-wrenching that whatever breath is left in Donnie's lungs is stolen away. Another blinding white light envelops the field, and this time, he knows that it's Michelangelo. This knowledge makes this new reality jarringly, horrifically real.

Raphael is dead.

Just as the numb daze is about to return, Donatello is made aware of the hiccupping sobs that undoubtedly belong to Mikey. All his doubts disappear, and he is confronted with the reality that they've gone from four brothers to three. It's here that Donnie realizes—he'd never gotten to say goodbye. He'd never been able to tell Raphael that he loves him, too. Something wet trails down his face. He's shocked for a moment before he realizes, once again, that it's his tears. They run hot, splashing down his cheeks and onto his collarbone. Then, it's like the floodgates open. His shoulders shake as he wails, face upturned towards the sky as he screams, shouts, and rages. He can't breathe, but Donatello doesn't care. He doesn't. Everything hurts. Raphael had died alone, protecting them.

Donatello's sobs join Mikey's as they howl at the sky like feral, wounded animals, their grief raw and insurmountable. It presses on both of their shoulders, through their plastrons, and into their chests; the weight is so heavy that Donatello wonders if he'll ever be able to stand up again.

[neomishhsj]

OBEY ME X VIOLET EVERGARDEN READER 

OMG AM SO SORRY I BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG GUYS PLEASE FORGIVE ME SO  AS A APOLOGY I WILL ADD MORE CHARACTERS IN THIS ONE 😭🥲

LUCIFER :

When you first came to devildom he liked how quiet you are but did not like how you almost broke his arm because you thought you were in danger but after he learned more about your past on how you were so young but fighting in a war !? He wanted to help you so much . When you two get in a relationship he helps you find out what love means. He does everything to show you what love means .

MAMMON : 

He is scared of you when he saw you almost break lucifers arm in self defence but he saw how emotionless you were he was like “OI human why wont you smile 😡” when lucifer told him your past  he was like 😶 he never ran faster then when he runs from lucifer “OMG MC AM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT”

When you guys get into a relationship  he makes you laugh so many times and you help him out of a LOT of trouble . He wants to show you what love means in his own way .

LEVI:

 HE was like “OMG YOU ARE LIKE THE MAIN CHARACTER FROM ‘I FIGHT IN THE WAR AT 10 AND NOW AM EMOTIONLESS “when he found out what he said was true he was like ‘OMG MC I DIDN’T KNOW DO BREAK MY ARM ‘

(yeah am going to make fun of lucifer almost get he arm broke by reader 🤣) when you guys get in a relationship he was so nervous he helped you with smiling  for now  he hoping to help you find more of your emotions 

SATAN : 

HE LOVES YOU so quiet so when you read together it is so peaceful (he laughs so hard  when he sees you almost break Lucifer arm )he does wonder why you always call him and his brothers sir like if you were a soldier ? When Levi told him that you were part of a war AT TEN YEARS OLD he was baffled no wonder why you acted like that . When you two relationship it's the most romantic relationship anyone has seen he helps you with your emotions .

ASMO:

OMD YOU ARE SO PRETTY he was so scared of you because what you almost did to lucifer’s arm HOW IS YOUR HAIR SO SOFT TEACH HIM 😡when he found out about your past he cried so hard he was like “MC HOW DID YOU GO THROUGH THAT 😭 😰 “DON’T WORRY MC I GIVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH LOVE DON’T YOU WORRY !”when you two get together he showers you in so much love it was in possible for you not to know what love means after getting with him 

BEEL:

OMG WHAT DID YOU DO TO LUCIFER’S ARM oh it not broken ok *almost done eating * he got sad when he saw what had happened to your arm “hey mc what happened to your arms ?” “oh i lost them in a war … I was trying to save major Gibert ….” “oh sorry for asking mc “ “ it ok” he asked if it was ok for you to show him how people in the human world are in war training   . you guys are SO CUTE! He helps you to smile :)

BELPHEGOR:

He hated you before cuz dam you kicked he so hard in the stomach he thought he saw god again like dam but mammon told him why and your past he was like ‘tf do i have other twin 🤨’ you guys are so emo together omg you guys be like “ i could not saved my sister 😭” “ i could not save major Gelbert 😢”

He help you feel happy and loved 

LORD DIAVOLO :

He was like ‘OMG MY BESTIE ARM ALMOST BROKE 🤧

He know about your past and he was the one that told lucifer ofc he has a lot of tea times with you cuz he heard that your wrought a pubic love letter for a princess marriage *he hope he can make you into his queen * he thought he brought a princess of something  when you two get together he is already calling you his queen  but he helps you feel again 

BARBATOS:

He already knew what happened and he knows how to help feel and when you two get in a relationship OMD everyone is dead you two are to cute and hot like omd 

SIMEON:

He think your quietness is nice but please you're scaring him your like a live doll he saw from heaven what had happened to you he got angry when Gilbert's brother calls you “majors dog” and “tool  for the war “ he helped you feel loved and he always there for you  he got so sad when he saw your arms because he knows it most hurt like hell 

Omg guys my ears are better. I hope soon I will be writing a bit more .

[jcfoxington]

imagine this (youre a sad old man and a silly little mage pops your depression bubble)

imagine this: youve been floating in a state of subconsciously awake but not quite aware for what you will eventually discover is roughly 10-15 years, give or take, first as a machine of war never treated as the person you are and secondly in a magical prison cell that kept you dormant.

when you're awoken - when you're freed - you are jostled truly awake and aware. you were awoken to fight because everything is going to shit and your faction's field of expertise is this particular range of shit, so you fight. because that's your job. and when you’re asked to pick sides, to make a decision, you're hit with the realization that you have no idea who any of these people are and, perhaps much scarier and definitely much more distracting, no idea who you are. it isn't a case of amnesia, rather a case of unawareness; your body has paraded around as a husk for so long, your mind has forgotten the motions of being present and being a person.

so you make a decision, say some words that make sense in the moment and in the grand scheme of things but that you don’t actually know the impact of because the knowledge of the context and the consequences and what the whole thing is actually about escapes you and then your sisters are leaving. in the moment, you don't understand it - the two souls reaching out to you, as if to comfort or to remind you of who you were and then... not quite recoiling, but sighing and retracting, as if giving up scaling an evergrowing mounting, disappointed and hurt. and you feel like you’ve lost something, something profound and important, and like you’ve failed in your one task in life - but in the moment you don’t understand, and there's too much going on to linger on it.

you leave. you leave and you follow and you do as you’re told, and everything hurts and you’re punished relentlessly for stepping out of line, and in the middle of it all is the most poweful mage you have encountered in a long, long time. his soul shines like the sun and his presence burns in quite the same way, and you’re scared of him initially because you'd be a fool not to, but he reminds you of something so you can’t quite keep away either. and then he turns out to be the goofiest motherfucker on the planet. straight up just a muppet with the power of the sun in his hands. and he's kind and kind of stupid and takes no shits from anyone, and especially not you. he's a silly little man that you’re certain you’ve met before but you’re not sure from where or when, especially when he says he's human because then it'd have to be in recent memory and those consist of darkness and fistfighting (paw/clawfighting? you aren’t always humanoid, you realize early on) a pitlord, so you give up on that train of thought.

he finds you sitting at the top of the tallest dalaran tower on the first night you manage to sneak out. you expect him to be mad, but he isn’t; he's only concerned. and in that conversation - that uncertain step into what turns into a strong friendship, you figure out why you're so lost. why you’ve failed.

your sisters left you. they're the reason you're here; you were supposed to protect them, to watch out for them, to be there for them always and whenever they need it, to make sure they wouldn’t die like everyone else. because that’s the least you could do after disappearing for so long - for abandoning them when you'd deemed them able to fend for themselves. they’ve abandoned you. given up on you. because they’ve seen a side of you they cannot forgive - seen the side of you that cannot change. they’ve abandoned you, like you abandoned them.

atop the dalaran tower, you sob. for the first time in thousands of years, you cry your heart out - you, a man reduced to a war machine by the will of your own hands and then broken when everyone else treated you as such. you, a blind-born dragon abandoned and bullied by your kin for your parentage and raised by your nightelven family - a family that you have failed time and time again and that you never told them your thanks for the love they showed you, despite it all. and now you will never be able to because the last of them are gone.

you are broken, and you have been for a long time. but for the first time, you let yourself be so without running. you let yourself fall apart utterly and completely, grieving all you have lost and all you have failed. and then, when you're ready, when you’ve faced your grief and your failures and your fears, you begin to pick up the pieces and rebuild yourself - not as the you that you were, but as the you that you are and the one that you want to be.

and through it all, there is a silly little mage with his silly little staff and collar and jokes and warm voice. and though years go by where you do not see him - where you go each your own paths - the silly little mage is family. the first family, chosen; the one who taught you to choose.

you owe him everything. on the few occasions where your paths collide, you are not afraid to tell him so. he hates it, tries to tell you otherwise or to brush it off - but he doesn’t deny you or tell you off. because he taught you this - to be sincere and genuine and not be afraid to speak it out loud, and he's just happy you keep doing it.

[1-khxna-1]

:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟTԋҽ ɾҽƚυɾɳ σϝ ɳҽρƚυɳҽ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ

Pearl x gem reader ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚ words: 751 google docs pages: 2

part : 2/4

·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙

It had been a while since you got un bubbled by these so-called “crystal gems”. The whole point of you being here was to be a teacher for this Steven.” it was a long and gruesome battle, my diamond had sent me down to earth to see how the war was going-” You had stopped speaking when you saw the boy asleep, completely drain out. It was midnight so it was bound for the human body to get tired around this time. You sighed and put the chalkboard back into its original placement. the sound of something hitting the ground ran through your head, and your eyes shut closed as your hands moved to your ears. Trying to block noise, when you opened your eyes… You were back on the battlefield..? You ran to your ship, trying your hardest to get back to your homeworld. You didn't wanna relive this over again yet you did. Pearl had tackled you to the ground and poofed you again. When you awoke from your 'dream land', Steven was looking at you with the other Crystal Gems, all wearing expressions of sadness except for Pearl, she still looked at you with disgust like you were some sort of vermin..” I'm going for a walk.” you stormed off, you had been stuck in that dismal place for far too long, and the air outside felt fresh and free. You took a deep breath and started walking, kicking rocks as you went. You felt a sense of liberation as you walked away from the temple, and the farther you got, the less it seemed to weigh on you. You wondered why the pearl hated you so much, you didn't fight her in the war so what's her problem with you?! As if on queue, she was standing right in front of you.” what do you want. Are you here to bubble me again.” you spoke but the pearl just look at you,” You're doing a good job teaching Steven.” she said.” mhm. Tanzanites are good at things like that.” walking past her. “Why didn't you attack me.” you stopped in your trails and turned to look at her, her voice was full of hurt.” do I reason why didn't do this or that.” your tone was different. It was full of curiosity. Why was she asking you this now..? Why did it matter to her, you just didn't need to. It wasn't an order from your diamond so why bother"I didn't attack you because I had no reason to," you said, your voice low and measured as if you were imparting a very important lesson. "I did not quarrel with you and had no need to take any action against you. I was just minding my own business, doing what I needed to do." You paused for a moment, your gaze steady and unflinching, before continuing. "I think it's important to remember that, no one needs a reason to do something.” The pearl gazed at you, its expression of confusion evident on its small face. "Right, yeah, you're right," it said, hesitating for a moment as if it was trying to process the situation. You stared back at the pearl, unsure of what to say or do.” I'm sorry.” her words felt like a slap in the face to you,” Steven likes you and, me and garn-” “Sorry? You're sorry. And what I'm just suppose to forgive and forget that you bubbled me for 5000 years?!” your hand balled up into a fist.” sorry doesn't give me 5000 years of freedom back!” she just stared at you, her face was full of anger all over again. How ironic. It was your turn to feel angry, hurt, and sad but she just overran your feeling like dirt.” well I'm sorry that I even came out here.” she turned back around and walked straight back into the temple. if all she wanted to do was come down here and brother you, she should have stayed in that temple. While in your train of thought, the amethyst came out,” Maybe you should you listen pearl, she's.. Trying and that's hard for me to say.” you looked at her,” she bubbled me for 5000 years, I just can't forget about that” you crossed your arms, it was true. You could never forgive and forget something like that, but you enjoyed stevens nonsensical questions in every lesson you taught him. Maybe just maybe you could put up with pink diamond pearl for him.

[legofanguy1999]

Star Wars Rebel: The Jedi of my kind

This Star Wars Rebels fanfiction is a entry for @spectre-week day 4 Spectre Four (Zeb), and serve during Zeb's Honor Guard days. The story also feature Jaro Tapal from Star Wars Jedi Fall Order.

Garazeb Orrelios of the Honor Guard has heared about the Jedi, but he didn't expected to see one of them on Lasan, much less one of his own people as Jedi Master Jaro Tapal, with his captain and his red hair human Padawan by his side, said to the king, "I understand that you don't want to our people into this war, your highness, but the Separatists may prove to be a threat to Lasan. I ask you to joined the Republic to defend our home world from any attacks." While this impress Garazeb, the king shake his head and said, "No. We Lasat would not fight in a war that hold no meaning for us." and Jaro's red hair Padawan come forward and said to the king, "Forgive me for speaking, you highness, but my master and I have seen the number of battle droids, which outnumber your military. The Republic will give you support." The king said to the boy, "Joining the Republic would lead to the Separatists to attack us. Lasan remaining neutral in this war is the best chance that it has to survive. You may leave and tell the Republic about our choice, Jedi." Jaro bow and take his leave with his captain and Padawan, and Garazeb feel sad for the brave boy whose try to change the king's mind.

[sennamybeloved]

marlene's tape recorders and journal added so much depth to her character. without them, she is so easy to misunderstand, so easy to paint as some awful villain who acted carelessly (or even cruelly). the show is flawed in a lot of ways but the fact that it made no effort to give marlene back any of the depth she was robbed, while largely insignificant side characters like bill and frank got an entire full length movie dedicated to them, is fucking criminal. i love bill and frank this is not me saying that episode is bad it is lovely BUT. marlene is the main antagonist, she deserves something like that way more than they did. for a show that allegedly wants to humanize all of it's characters they sure as hell put no effort into humanizing one of the most humanizable characters in the entire fucking franchise.

marlene is not a terrible person by any stretch of the imagination. i wouldn't even call her a villain. joel is objectively worse than her. however, that objective standpoint is NOT what the last of us is about! it's about humanity, and joel's drive to protect ellie is so much more relatable and so much more human than anything that was going on with the fireflies. that is what made the game so impactful. we, the players, are parents, friends, children, lovers, who would do anything to protect those we hold dear, even if that means sacrificing the world. boiling marlene down to a "villain" not only does her character a huge disservice, but completely undercuts the impact of the entire story, primarily joel's arc.

additionally, just because the fireflies as a whole were not super sympathetic or relatable, marlene herself absolutely was. an overworked leader and figurehead with the entire weight of the world on her shoulders being attacked from every angle at a war with her own mortality over protecting her dead best friend's child and saving the society she's been fighting for all these years. do you fuckers actually think she wanted to kill ellie? absolutely not. listen to her first tape recorder, watch the flashback cutscene from tlou2, fucking look at the way jerry fucking pressured her. fucking listen to how distressed she sounded when she was talking about it. if you read her journals she was literally out of her mind convincing herself she had done nothing but fail her people over and over and over again. this was her last shot to do something right. she knew for a fact that joel wouldn't be happy with her, but she hoped that he could sympathize with her, that he could understand how hard this was for both of them, two people who cared so much about ellie and what she represented for them. direct quote from her second tape recorder: "they asked me to kill the smuggler. i'm not about to kill the one man in this facility that might understand the weight of this choice. maybe he can forgive me."

does that not make anyone else feel sad? she spent her last hours hoping and praying and wishing for someone to see her as a person, to meet her eye-to-eye and tell her that they understand all she has done, and that she made the right choice. she's not perfect by my god people, she is not evil. everything she did was with pure intentions. i can fucking guarantee that if any of you were in her position, they would've made a similarly fucked-up choice, if not an even worse one.

it wasn't her fault, at least not entirely; i'd argue the scientists shoulder more blame than her. in that same damn tape recorder, she states that asking her for the go ahead to proceed with the surgery was more of a formality on their part, and that she really didn't have much of a choice. i don't think marlene had power in that hospital to begin with. she had not been there in over 10 years, the scientists had taken up leadership. she was the firefly's figurehead, someone that people could assign blame to. whatever actual control she had was left back in boston. the scientists were not her fucking soldiers or whatever. why would they listen to her? what was she gonna do, yell at them? tell the people she'd dragged across the country that actually she had a change of heart and this had all been for nothing so everyone can just leave now. no!! she would've been eaten alive!!! what else was she supposed to do? literally what else. someone tell me.

there is zero empathy for her in this fandom. it's not just the show fans, it's the game fans, too. i beg of you guys to read her journal and listen to her tape recorders and try to put yourself in her shoes and realize that she was in just as much pain as joel was when things came to a head. i know she's not your ultra hot rugged white man but come on you guys can be a little media literate. as a treat.

[sketching-shark]

For the ship opinion bingo, how about... Wukong and Bajie?

Haha! The return of the zhuhou asks <3

I'll be honest @ladyzerodark between my preference for aroace SWK & seeing how MEAN these two often were to each other throughout the course of the journey, I didn't particularly care for zhuhou. But after seeing a lot of the CEO of zhuhou @antidotefortheawkward's thoughts and art about that pairing I gained a fondness for it as far as jttw-adjacent ships go, especially as with niuhou (Demon Bull King x Sun Wukong) both Zhu Bajie and the Monkey King work very well as distinct characters in their own right. And while they frequently are cruel to each other near the beginning of the journey, this is something that from what I remember mellows out more into fond teasing and a very strong fighting rapport as the journey goes on. tbh I'm not even surprised that a number of retellings present them as akin to a bickering couple raising a child together lol.

But I guess more importantly for me, one reason why I've come to think that zhuhou can potentially work quite well as a enemies-to-lovers/battle couple kind of situation is that Xiyouji itself does a lot to show us how that could happen. For starters, this is an over 400 year old narrative that (and while this definitely wasn't Wu Cheng'en's intent haha) stands out for steering clear from the bullshit of "all-forgiving innocent and the genocidal dictator they have to bend over backwards to Heal(TM) because he's Sad." I mean, between Zhu Bajie having been an extremely high-ranking heavenly soldier as the Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds who sexually harassed Chang'e and then ate his new pig family after being exiled to Earth before proceeding to eat who knows how many other humans, and Sun Wukong spending decades reigning as a warlord over a vast multitude of yaoguai and spending that time not caring about anyone except for his monkey family and freely murdering and stealing at will, they're both not exactly what you could call stellar citizens. As I've said:

And funnily enough that's the main thing that ultimately has made the appeal of zhuhou both understandable and even likeable for me: where in a sea of supposedly wholesome "enemies to lovers" that give -1000 reason for why the involved blorblos would even tolerate each other and "redemption arcs" that point blank refuse to say the fucked up things the characters did were in fact fucked up, both Zhu Bajie and Sun Wukong stand as guys that the story is very clear about how violent and destructive they were and why they both really needed a redemption arc. Zhu Bajie talks about how much he loves eating people, women especially, and then later kidnaps a young woman he married under false pretext! Sun Wukong freely admits that he killed more people that he can remember and is routinely smashing people's heads into meat patties! Said it before but it in fact makes perfect sense that with disciples like Old Hog Violent Pervert and Yeye War Crimes, Tang Sanzang is constantly crying!

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, Xiyouji does a lot to both show the more positive sides of their characters such as a sincere love of family and a willingness to work hard, with the both of them increasingly working together to help each other and tons of people over the course of the journey. And this genuine help takes the form of everything from fighting together to end the blood-soaked reigns of vicious man-eating yaoguai warlords to saving over a thousand children at one go to acting as intermediaries between heaven and Earth so that a terrible drought can be lifted from a suffering region. These are just a few examples of the good they help create too, and all the while you do have scenes of them laughing and joking together and sometimes even holding hands. I'd be willing to bet that a major reason Journey to the West is one of the great classics of world literature is because it is a redemption narrative that really stresses the need to consistent and persistently do active good for a redemption to be genuine, and seeing both Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie go on that journey together is a very fun thing to behold.

tl:dr, very cool to witness the tale of two very fucked up but ultimately willing to change yaoguai going on a journey of atonement, hand in hand. Kings of learning and listening and experiencing explicitly horrific consequences for their actions <3.

[heaven-saidx]

Guess heaven wins, welp, time to blow up hell and all the sinners down there.

✞ " Heaven... wins? What do you mean Heaven wins..? We're in retreat! Even if I do sound the end of days, we would still have a war to fight! And I-- I am not doing this happily! " He growls, followed by the faintest sigh of heartbreak.

" I am doing this because the decision has been made FOR me. Long before I even knew I had one to make-- as is clearly evident." The Councilmen who act without his knowledge, Satan's disloyalty, this has all been in the making for centuries and yet he learns of its mechanisms practically yesterday! And now it seems to matter so little. They are all to be judged by God now, if they can win this. When they win this.

" This day was always meant to be a sad one-- a tragedy that not all could be saved, but it is one I have been raised to prepare for! We are out of time. Without the redemptions, without the exterminations-- we are left no means to reverse humanity's course. I can only beg forgiveness to my Father that none of us tried Charlie's kindness before our time was so short... "

[klxverlie]

i rant a lot abt genya and sanemi so here’s 8 rants abt genya and sanemi that no one asked for. but still got.

dedicated to everyone on twitter that got sad after reading them.

1.

i feel like ppl misunderstand genya i think bc they’re projecting into him like “he should be mad abt what sanemi did” no he shouldn’t????? don’t get me wrong he sure COULD but the whole point of the character is that he doesn’t, bc he’s simply not that kind of person !!

he’s so empathetic. he understands sanemi more than,,, probably anyone lmao, not in a logical sense bc he doesn’t analyze sanemi per se hes just led by feelings !! the thing abt genya is that ppl degrading him didn’t make him hate them, it made him hate himself.

i feel like that’s rlly important to who genya is, his values, how he sees life,,, he’s a naturally forgiving and loving person and sees the good in everyone by empathizing,,,

many people wouldn’t do the same but some other people would and that’s the beauty of his character, that he has his own ideals and perception.

2.

one thing that gets me is that genya was,,, healing. he met friends and people he appreciated and appreciated him. he wasn’t alone as he was when he was a kid and as he was when sanemi was no longer by his side.

he was healing until he wasn’t, right? physically and mentally. not even regeneration, not even having friends could save him. he got strong enough to save others, but not himself.

replying to a comment : I actually think it’s a great trajectory narratively speaking,,, specifically bc it’s unfair. The whole thing with kny is that demons are stronger than human, that their lives are on the line, that it’s a war and people die unfairly.

3.

i think genya didn’t feel like sanemi HATED him or something big like that, i think he just thought sanemi didn’t want him as a brother bc he had hurt him with what happened in their past

genya is hurt bc he wants a good relationship with sanemi and therefore wants to apologize, and that’s where his insecurities abt if sanemi hates him arrive, but he never questions sanemi being a good person

and he doesn’t think sanemi wants him dead or to hurt him, he just thinks sanemi’s mad at him and has every right to be (in genya’s mind)

i interpreted it this way bc of the scene where he talks to tanjiro and tanjiro tells him sanemi isn’t angry (he has doubts abt sanemi’s feelings) and bc of the scene where he punches zenitsu (he knows sanemi’s not a bad person)

(both of this scenes are before sanemi’s confession of his true intentions, bc genya’s perspective could’ve changed after that giving place to the death scene. but this leads me to believe this were his feelings before all of that)

but yeah i think we tend to extrapolate their behavior towards each other to every field when i think it’s not it

genya felt hurt on a personal way bc sanemi was trying to cut their relationship, but i didn’t get the feeling that he felt abused

besides genya being a kind and understanding and forgiving person, sanemi was always dismissive towards him. not aggressive.

i mean, he was mean (and he got worse due to genya not relenting) but his objective wasn’t to actively hurt genya by saying he was a worthless piece of trash, it was more to make him see he didn’t have talent.

but he never searched for genya to degrade him and ruin his life, in fact, what hurt genya wasn’t being degraded it was being ignored. related to what i said earlier abt him wanting a good relationship.

genya also has self esteem issues and i guess it’s partly influenced by what sanemi said but it’s mostly bc it’s true that he can’t use breathes. this never deterred him from eating demons to be able to fight though, he was determined to overcome this.

in kimetsu gakuen it’s said sanemi’s hard on genya so genya can be better and i think it’s based on this part of canon; it’s characteristic of genya bc it helps him get stronger (study more in gakuen) and it makes him kinda doubt himself

(in gakuen he thinks sanemi might like him more if he was smart like the tokito’s) but it ultimately doesn’t mean he has a bad relationship with sanemi, it’s just a depiction of their brotherly dynamic smh.

in canon though, the being ignored part IS what’s making their relationship fail.

also, the fact that genya didn’t think that sanemi hated him (he only wanted to be away from him) explains why he was so surprised in the eye poking scene,,, he didn’t feel like sanemi hated him so he didn’t expect him to do that, it felt out of character for him.

i don’t know what genya thought about sanemi after that but i bet it’s something related to not hating him, but hating that he was eating demons and doing something so foul.

4.

sanemi overthinks about genya. about life. on his desperation not to loose people he loves, he makes intricate plans to push genya away.

genya’s simpler, in a way. “you had many horrible memories and i want you to be happy” he’s not carefully crafted plans to protect, he’s much more genuine. he just loves.

5.

i can’t with the shinazugawas bc they loved each other sm they didn’t want the other to die before them. the only thing sanemi wanted for genya to be alive and viceversa bc they could handle loosing their relationship but they couldn’t handle loosing each other

6.

no bc i just know that genya was terrified while he died but i think that he was also happy that sanemi didn’t, everytime i think abt how selfless he actually was i get sick he deserved sm more

he must’ve also felt so broken bc his brother loved him !!! but they’ll never see each other again !!! and they didn’t enjoy their moments together to the fullest but he really only wanted sanemi to survive and viceversa.

7.

i think a lot abt how family dynamics affect the shinazugawas storyline bc sanemi feels like he has the duty to protect genya bc he’s the older sibling

but genya’s the second oldest . was the second oldest and he also has the instinct to protect

genya feels responsible too and more so after he wasn’t there for sanemi when sanemi needed it the most

he had to fight to protect bc sanemi wanted him to be the one protected but he saw the suffering he wanted to help

he’s an older brother who doesn’t have little siblings anymore

comment : Oh not to mention Genya was the one who witnessed his siblings getting killed, sanemi wasn’t in there when it happened. I feel like that would also effect genya majorly since he seen it happen yk?

YEAH THAT TOO that must’ve affected him sm bc he couldn’t protect anyone that night. sanemi protected genya but genya was there and he was unable to do anything 😭

i think that’s also why he’s so insistent on apologizing to sanemi bc like . looking back he’d see that the only thing he could’ve done that night was at least be there for him and he wasn’t

reply to a comment : yeah sanemi could’ve had better communication skills, but honestly? i get him. he wanted genya to get away and be safe and if he had accepted genya’s apology and showed him a bit of warmth genya wouldn’t have let go 😭

8.

we talk a lot abt how sanemi’s issues affected his relationship with genya but not abt how genya’s issues affected his relationship with sanemi

i feel like more ppl see genya only as a victim bc his way of reacting to trauma was to blame himself but that is too his issue

he could’ve hated sanemi or defended himself but he . didn’t . and he probably should have bc that was what sanemi was aiming to do too 😭 but genya just blamed himself

genya didn’t have to keep being after sanemi given how bad he was being treated, and then sanemi wouldn’t have been driven to extremes

it’s the fact that their interests and ways of reacting to trauma and family dynamics conflict what makes the events of kny possible but genya’s trauma did influence it he wasn’t acting like any normal person would, either.