#wanting reassurance
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joyboythehopepunk · 1 year ago
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being told i'm very intelligent and self aware since i've been young. being told i'm very mature for my age. people in my age group and adults in my life noticing i was introverted, self-isolating, and/or had no friends. people noticing it was hard for me to get close to people. people noticing i had very intense emotions and mood swings.
people noticing i wasn't normal. that i was weird.
enter pretty privilege. enter high masking. enter sun-coded (but depressed) individual.
my outward characteristics and peoples' biases (neither of which i can control) along with my constitution (being autistic, trans, brown, attractive) seems to REALLY vex people.
up to the point they only zero in on three aspects of me:
i'm hot. i'm trans. i'm weird af.
also note: not having any proper support or love because of my characteristics and peoples' biases/expectations.
makes for life on nightmare mode. i am single and lonely and probably gonna die alone because of shit i can't help. because i can't find ONE person i can love and be loved by.
and i know i'm not the only one. i know i'm not. but this is shitty. shitty af.
the worse part is being misunderstood and mistreated. and no matter how many times or how many ways you try to explain yourself people still get it wrong and have the worst takes ever.
Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.
For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."
Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."
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kazbrekkerfast · 10 months ago
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shoutout to the aromantics who don't feel love at all. shoutout to the aromantics who feel love deeply but not in the way society wants us to. shoutout to the aromantics who are repulsed by romance. shoutout to the aromantics who are romance positive. shoutout to aromantics who have conflicting feeling about romance. shoutout to aromantics that are neutral about romance. shoutout to aromantics in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who aren't in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who are also asexual or aspec. shoutout to aromantics who are allosexual. shoutout to aromantics with conflicting identities. shoutout to aromantics who are questioning. shoutout to aromantics who are in relationships. shoutout to aromantics who are happy not in a relationship.
shoutout to every aromantic person reading this because you are valid and a welcome part of the queer community no matter who you are or what you identify as. you are so loved and appreciated <33
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chloesimaginationthings · 5 months ago
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FNAF 4 nightmares haunted all the Afton kids..
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egophiliac · 1 year ago
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
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sheikfangirl · 12 days ago
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“You can stop looking, I’m right here.”
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Glory to Puppet Zelda ✋
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caelanglang · 1 year ago
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The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai
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forzathunder · 3 months ago
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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somewhereincairparavel · 5 months ago
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Jason not telling anyone about his birthday is just... So sad on so many levels.. and literally nobody in the fandom talks about it (so I will duh)..only Piper had to figure it out and ask him about it, even then, he was embarassed to admit it.. proves how much nobody ever made him feel special about his true self or ever told him that he was worth being born :( He feels ashamed about making his birthday about himself even though that's the whole point of birthdays, because he feels that he isn't important enough :(
he just shrugs off his birthday, a day that is supposed to be about you, because "they have bigger problems". He has been told his whole life, to shrug off his own personal issues to put everyone else above him in the Roman legion, that not even birthdays make much sense for him.
Jason never ended up telling anyone about his birthday in the end either. Only Piper and Thalia knew. And his only known birthday was the day Annabeth and Percy fell into tartarus.
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cherpiet · 1 year ago
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wuh oh
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royalarchivist · 8 months ago
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Quackity: These past days I've been in many calls, and I'm not done yet. I've spoken to a lot of people and creators. I've read your comments and I'm well aware of what needs to be done to carry out this project. I want to tell you all, beforehand, that for me the team's well-being is fundamental. I'm very involved in this topic to sort it out and I want to make that very clear. I want to tell you something... I want to tell you all that the administrative staff responsible for so much harm to the project has been fired. Specifically, those who made decisions without my permission, affecting the administrative and financial area of the project. Consequently, after this, I was in charge of doing a financial analysis that's carrying out for the QSMP.
Guys, to be really honest, it was not going to last. Therefore, I've had to make deep drastic structural changes that have lead me to reduce the performance of the server down to the most essential, and this is in order to ensure the well being of everyone involved in it. Having said this, I want to give a very important update: I want to let you all know that the QSMP will have to slow down temporarily. This is to ensure this new structure adapts to the project, because it's a restructuring that's taking place. I'm letting you know, and I reiterate, there are no voluntary positions inside the QSMP.
At the moment, there will not be any more individual update accounts of all 5 existing languages in the project. In any case, during this transition, there's going to be a temporal absence of all Eggs and NPCs. I know these are difficult changes, and I repeat, it's temporary until we adjust to these new conditions that will improve the performance of this new structure that's being made from scratch, both in the administrative and financial part. I'd like to reintegrate people fro the QSMP as time goes by if a financial viability can be found for the project Taking advantage of this update to tell you guys that within the changes of the server as it is, creators will have full control of their lore and stories. The team will not intervene in the way that it was being done. Moreover, efforts will be made to change the competitive dynamics inside the game so as to ease up the game style for the creators. Like I'm saying, all of these changes, and more, are being carrying out to have the project as best as possible, and they're being done little by little. This is a whole new structure that will ensure the best continuity and experience for the creators, the community and the team behind.
Guys, I want to make very clear that this is restructuring process, and again, it's not a fast one. The server being open does not mean everything's perfect, I understand that very well. Conversations will keep taking place, communication will continue and the constant improvement of the project as well. I ask, please, for everyone's patience and understanding regarding all changes. Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread. I want to tell you all something- if you don't trust in these changes or have many doubts about it, and don't want to consume any more of the project's content, I understand 100%. I have a personal commitment with the QSMP and I will work until it functions in the way it is supposed to do.
Lastly, I want to let you know that it was being worked on for months on finalizing the integration of Korean creators to the QSMP. For that reason, tomorrow we will be welcoming the new Korean creators of the QSMP, of course, taking into account all the changes I've just mentioned. I hope you can give the new Korean members warm welcome to the project. And as you know, their schedules are earlier. For everyone who would like to watch, they will be joining at 11am Mexico time and at 9am US time. Basically, I wanted to give that update regarding everything that's being done within the project. Again, thank you for your patience and understanding- these are necessary changes and I'm glad they're being done now. And many more things will keep being adjusted.
via @QuackitySubs
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canon-can-fight-me · 5 months ago
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If your F/O is part of a popular ship and seems impossible to avoid, here is your reminder to picture your F/O looking at what you are with nothing but annoyance at how untrue it is. They can’t imagine being with someone that isn’t you!
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jeeaark · 9 months ago
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Let the latest patches add whatever new dialogue they write in, but Patch 0 gave me free range to ✨interpret✨ and this will forever be Greygold's canon, HA
For all intents, I did the hell heist as the last-last quest before the finale (So as to be fully prepared and supportive "finishing" babe's personal quest) AND BECAUSE OF THIS, I was tired. Greygold was tired. I was ready to beat the game. I was rushing. STEALING FROM RAPHAEL WAS STRESSING ME OUT. and I dared not go back. So even though Greygold did not want to go through with Haarlep's "game", I couldn't have picked a worse time to forget about their "always another way" philosophy Poor Half-orc was so determined not to fail Lae'zel's personal quest that, for once, ignored companion disapproval. And apparently, with Lae'zel not disapproving nakey Greygy, it looked like Babe was willing to retrieve that hammer no matter the cost either! Until Haarlep said they wanted nakey Greygy to play a "game" with them.
Babe disapproved that time. Babe, who's been cranky all this time, thought not even this way was worth getting the hammer for. Babe still cared about what happened to Greygold.
So by the gods, I happily reloaded and thankfully found a different way, HUAH. Thank you, Babe. Found out later that apparently going the Haarlep way would've suuuuucked. Saved by the babe. Thus I concluded why Babe was so cranky and can't kiss to save her life (I'm looking at you patch 6). And why Greygold's never had another hrm- pleasant conversation with Emps since the last time.
Poor sleep-deprived Lae'zel was bugged as hell killer coconut not because she was mad at Greyg, but because she'd been burning through all of her energy and affection by trying to protect Greygold from any further illithidry influence.
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itbeaheadcannon · 18 days ago
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hc that merlin and Gwen (who are besties btw) are absolutely running shit. Got a problem? Go to them - always to them. They're the ones who know the most about the castle and have full control of the royal schedules.
Uther does not know about this and neither does Arthur - however whenever either one of them pisses Merlin or Gwen off or they just do something like seriously fucked up (looking at you Uther you absolute ass) they bury them in work.
and I mean like bury them: making them wake up at like first light for an 'emergency' (apparently someone thought they saw a sorcerer) straight to training the Knights, to a meeting with the council to deal with the non-existant sorcerer, to confirmations of a celebration
they don't know what the celebration is for. (in truth it's not for anything, the castle just wanted an excuse for a party, and it's funny gaslighting the royals into thinking they approved some random ass celebration a few weeks ago)
The servants know and 100% annoy them with inane shit because their "input" is needed (no the fuck it's not, but getting to fuck over royalty is fun for them)
random servant #1 to Uther: Apologies for interrupting Sir, but the seamstress wanted to confirm time for your fitting for your outfit for the celebration tonight?
Uther, baffled asf running on 5hrs sleep: celebration? there is no celebration??? and what colour scheme
Servant #1 trying not to cackle: yes sir there is? you advised of it just last month - the seamstress just wanted to take last measurements
Servant #2 elbowing #1 to get their shit together: and the blue and purple scheme? You approved it over a month ago, and Prince Arthur confirmed last week before preparations were made.
(all the food is stuff Arthur and Uther barely tolerate and mildly hate and their alcohol is weak asf - meanwhile the knights and everyone else are eating amazingly, drunk off their asses)
more in the tags lol
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dykedvonte · 15 days ago
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I don't think any of the post crash Curly conversations have anything Curly would actually say after this point in time. They are not Curly nor his current sentiments
Not even the "I want to go home." Curly can't say what he wants or not. It's all Jimmy's perception of what Curly's desires were and are and Jimmy's himself. It's Jimmy entering the same but warped stagnating headspace Curly was stuck in at the beginning of the game.
An oppressive bright space with all the dead ends and burnouts you could foresee paired with a dark empty void of things that spark but are never quite as bright?
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peacockrulz · 10 days ago
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An Well Made Excuse To Post My Specific Headcanons I've Had Since The Show Came Out
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zellaspinna · 10 days ago
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size difference for the soul
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