#wanting reassurance
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being told i'm very intelligent and self aware since i've been young. being told i'm very mature for my age. people in my age group and adults in my life noticing i was introverted, self-isolating, and/or had no friends. people noticing it was hard for me to get close to people. people noticing i had very intense emotions and mood swings.
people noticing i wasn't normal. that i was weird.
enter pretty privilege. enter high masking. enter sun-coded (but depressed) individual.
my outward characteristics and peoples' biases (neither of which i can control) along with my constitution (being autistic, trans, brown, attractive) seems to REALLY vex people.
up to the point they only zero in on three aspects of me:
i'm hot. i'm trans. i'm weird af.
also note: not having any proper support or love because of my characteristics and peoples' biases/expectations.
makes for life on nightmare mode. i am single and lonely and probably gonna die alone because of shit i can't help. because i can't find ONE person i can love and be loved by.
and i know i'm not the only one. i know i'm not. but this is shitty. shitty af.
the worse part is being misunderstood and mistreated. and no matter how many times or how many ways you try to explain yourself people still get it wrong and have the worst takes ever.
Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.
For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."
Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."
#autistic#actually autistic#autistic and trans#trans man#trans masc#trans man of color#person of color#i'm mixed btw#it seems like people go HE IS WAY TOO MANY THINGS#TOO COMPLEX#ERR HARD TO DEAL WITH#LET ME JUST REDUCE HIM DOWN TO SOMETHING I CAN WRAP MY HEAD AROUND#enter people thinking i'm being manipulative#or that i'm toxic#literally just being depressed and anxious#wanting reassurance#communication and love#but ok#feminism leaving womens bodies when a trans man#is literally anything but perfect in their eyes#whatever the fuck they think THAT means#tried to ask a bunch of women on a dating app what they thought the difference really was between trans men and cis men#why were they attracted to trans men and not cis men?#fucking crickets#lord help you if you're queer and neurodivergent#which i know there is correlation for#but it is so trendy now that it seems people have sanitized the very real very messy very fucked up reality#of being a super minority in america#who is wanted by people#but whom also people are disgusted by bc their existence is
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shoutout to the aromantics who don't feel love at all. shoutout to the aromantics who feel love deeply but not in the way society wants us to. shoutout to the aromantics who are repulsed by romance. shoutout to the aromantics who are romance positive. shoutout to aromantics who have conflicting feeling about romance. shoutout to aromantics that are neutral about romance. shoutout to aromantics in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who aren't in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who are also asexual or aspec. shoutout to aromantics who are allosexual. shoutout to aromantics with conflicting identities. shoutout to aromantics who are questioning. shoutout to aromantics who are in relationships. shoutout to aromantics who are happy not in a relationship.
shoutout to every aromantic person reading this because you are valid and a welcome part of the queer community no matter who you are or what you identify as. you are so loved and appreciated <33
#ive seen so much discourse and wanted to provide some reassurance#this is partially to myself#but#love you all#alloaro#aroace#aromantic#arospec
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FNAF 4 nightmares haunted all the Afton kids..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#evan afton#afton family#fnaf crying child#fredbear#nightmare fredbear#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#NIGHTMARE FREDBEAR MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥#I noticed I haven’t drawn Michael and CC alone in a comic together#wanted to change that to show off a bit of their dynamic#like any dysfunctional siblings I don’t think Michael was constantly awful to cc#they probably had moments of comfort in one another#Michael begrudgingly lets cc sleep in his bed tonight#seeing his father would get on his case if he doesn’t#but Michael is kinda glad he’s there too#he’s been having nightmares too but never admit that#he’s not just reassuring cc but himself too#nightmares haunt them both#an omen to what’s to come for them both#The Afton siblings make me so sniffle sob
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There's a genre of post that I see pretty frequently, which can overall be summed up as, "Modern fandom has a culture problem where fanfic authors are treated as content producers instead of community members and their fanfic is treated as a commodity to be consumed instead of a high-effort labor of love that deserves attention and compliments given directly to the author". I agree with 3/4ths of that. I find the part I disagree with very interesting, the same way I find a lot of writeblr interesting, because it's a perspective that I had to work very hard to actually understand.
Because the posts have such a warped view of what writing is and why we post our writing! They say that fanfic fights against the commodified internet we live in, but all they're doing is changing the currency of payment in this attention economy. Another way you can summarize about 70% of these posts is, "My payment for writing and posting my fanfiction is compliments, and if you do not give me those compliments you are not paying. If you give those compliments behind my back, or talk about them privately without giving them to me as well, then you are stealing from me." I don't want to put it like that, but a lot of these posts use words like 'deprive', as if the reader who enjoys the fic without commenting is withholding something from them that they deserve. They use the word engagement, and they do talk about how part of that engagement is just the joy of talking about AUs and ships with other people, but when people say that comments are their motivation to keep writing, what they mean is that validation is their motivation to keep writing. Which is compliments.
I understand that, because I understand that fanfic writers are not immune to the attention economy. But I don't understand how almost every one of these posts talk about how this lack of attention makes them stop writing - that this act of theft is killing their desire to write. I could understand this if they meant 'desire to POST fic' (I don't post fic I think zero people would read.), but they talk about how lack of payment stops them from writing at all.
IMHO, that is what creates a commodity from fic. People want to treat fic as art, but an artist makes art for themself. Art is made because we want to hold parts of skills and ourselves in our hands. If you won't make art if you get no payment, then you have devalued the art completely.
We think of AO3 as this unique site that's born entirely from passion and is filled with fics written for love of the game. But guilt-tripping posts that shame people for not commenting on a fic they enjoy, and that describe how there's no point in writing fic if it's not getting attention, are directly contributing towards the culture of treating fic like a commodity.
I also really want a fandom culture where the relationship between artist and reader is reciprocal, where it feels like a community, and where I get to talk about my fanfic with people. My favorite part of posting fanfic is rambling about it on my blog, because I can talk about my art all day and I love it when people stop and listen. But I love that because I love my own art. If you love your own art, then it'll always have value.
Also Google your username, just trust me, that's how you find The Secret Discussions. Someone made a TikTok fansong of me once. WHAT?
#ftr wanting comments bc you're a newbie writer and you want reassurance that your fic doesn't suck is#the most normal and reasonable thing alive and everybody feels that way#im not saying it's bad to want comments. everybody wants comments. i want comments.#but i disagree with saying that people who don't comment are Killing Fandom America#i get that we want to build a healthy community and culture but a culture that focuses on making everybody fall in line#with the way they think things should be#isnt a community i want to be a part of
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like this post if you think tboy tummies are sexy I'm trying to see something
#and by see something I mean I want reassurance bc im so insecure lmaooooo#its been a rough time yall#nsft trans#nsft t4t#ftm nsft
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size difference for the soul
#the words I want to say arent found in the bible#Im actually such a freak for this#bottom lando reassurance#lando norris#oscar piastri#landoscar#I WANT THAT TWUNK DESTROYED#I LOVE MCLAREN BACKSHO-*firing squad*
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“You can stop looking, I’m right here.”
Glory to Puppet Zelda ✋
#my art#zelink#puppet zelda#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#zelda fanart#totk#loz fanart#zelda#princess zelda#breath of the wild#totk link#She’s reassuring him#She isn’t going anywhere#He’s going to kill her for implying he wants her there#blood moon#Link is Puppet Zelda's toy#i am puppet zelda's puppet#i love her your honor#sheik fangirl
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#they are truly the most inspiring love story of our generation#though i guess he's not dr. zigvolt since zigvolt is the clan name...#unless he took her name which i absolutely could see. why would you ever not want to be called zigvolt.#this does tie nicely in with my headcanon that sebek's siblings got more of the fae features than he did#and he has a Complex about it#i get the impression that sebek's siblings are much closer in age to each other and also have more of their dad's chill#so sebek is sort of the baby of the family and he's got a Complex about that too#i think a lot about the zigvolt family for characters who have never actually appeared#on the subject of actual canon though#i do actually really appreciate that both sebek and silver each had a little moment of reassuring each other#that this is 400 years ago and also incredibly unfortunate circumstances#and present-day reality lilia and baul love them very much#(i do think sebek is secretly baul's favorite grandkid)#it was just nice to see! especially from sebek! he is sometimes a very thoughtful boy and it's always nice to see that side of him#sebek trying SO hard to get baul to like him though 😭#and lilia being like 'aw i think you're getting kind of fond of him :)'#i love. Characters.
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The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai
#drunk dazai bc hes the actual alcoholic one#also bc i wanted a very flustered chuuya#YES EVEN IF THEYRE MARRIED ALREADY BC WHY NOT#i hc drunk dazai is still pretty alert but then if he realizes its someone he someone he can trust (chuuya etc) he just goes soft boy mode#soft honest boy ehehe#also occasionally emotional and vulnerable and validation/reassurance seeking and chuuya always knows#okay i will stop rambling this was rotting my mind the past few days#playing wasia project's ur so pretty on the background when i was drawing these#behold. my therapy (real)#bsd#skk#my art#sketch#sketches#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#established skk
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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Jason not telling anyone about his birthday is just... So sad on so many levels.. and literally nobody in the fandom talks about it (so I will duh)..only Piper had to figure it out and ask him about it, even then, he was embarassed to admit it.. proves how much nobody ever made him feel special about his true self or ever told him that he was worth being born :( He feels ashamed about making his birthday about himself even though that's the whole point of birthdays, because he feels that he isn't important enough :(
he just shrugs off his birthday, a day that is supposed to be about you, because "they have bigger problems". He has been told his whole life, to shrug off his own personal issues to put everyone else above him in the Roman legion, that not even birthdays make much sense for him.
Jason never ended up telling anyone about his birthday in the end either. Only Piper and Thalia knew. And his only known birthday was the day Annabeth and Percy fell into tartarus.
#I'm usually not a Jason x Piper fan but I really appreciate Piper for making jason feel better and loved in that particular moment#Yknow reassuring him that hes capable and respecting his wishes about not wanting to make his birthday a big deal#I'm sure he really appreciated that more than he let on :(#It's at times like this the whole “jason had it the easiest out of everyone in the 7 because he's like a celebrity” makes no sense to me#pjo#pjo fandom#pjo hoo#percy jackson#pjo series#jason grace#annabeth chase#pjo hoo toa#piper mclean#leo valdez#frank zhang#hazel levesque#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus
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wuh oh
#what if she abstracted#he'd try to reassure her by saying he'll fix her#even though he knows he can't#but he wants to#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc pomni#pomni#tadc caine#caine#the amazing digital circus pomni#the amazing digital circus caine#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#showtime
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Quackity: These past days I've been in many calls, and I'm not done yet. I've spoken to a lot of people and creators. I've read your comments and I'm well aware of what needs to be done to carry out this project. I want to tell you all, beforehand, that for me the team's well-being is fundamental. I'm very involved in this topic to sort it out and I want to make that very clear. I want to tell you something... I want to tell you all that the administrative staff responsible for so much harm to the project has been fired. Specifically, those who made decisions without my permission, affecting the administrative and financial area of the project. Consequently, after this, I was in charge of doing a financial analysis that's carrying out for the QSMP.
Guys, to be really honest, it was not going to last. Therefore, I've had to make deep drastic structural changes that have lead me to reduce the performance of the server down to the most essential, and this is in order to ensure the well being of everyone involved in it. Having said this, I want to give a very important update: I want to let you all know that the QSMP will have to slow down temporarily. This is to ensure this new structure adapts to the project, because it's a restructuring that's taking place. I'm letting you know, and I reiterate, there are no voluntary positions inside the QSMP.
At the moment, there will not be any more individual update accounts of all 5 existing languages in the project. In any case, during this transition, there's going to be a temporal absence of all Eggs and NPCs. I know these are difficult changes, and I repeat, it's temporary until we adjust to these new conditions that will improve the performance of this new structure that's being made from scratch, both in the administrative and financial part. I'd like to reintegrate people fro the QSMP as time goes by if a financial viability can be found for the project Taking advantage of this update to tell you guys that within the changes of the server as it is, creators will have full control of their lore and stories. The team will not intervene in the way that it was being done. Moreover, efforts will be made to change the competitive dynamics inside the game so as to ease up the game style for the creators. Like I'm saying, all of these changes, and more, are being carrying out to have the project as best as possible, and they're being done little by little. This is a whole new structure that will ensure the best continuity and experience for the creators, the community and the team behind.
Guys, I want to make very clear that this is restructuring process, and again, it's not a fast one. The server being open does not mean everything's perfect, I understand that very well. Conversations will keep taking place, communication will continue and the constant improvement of the project as well. I ask, please, for everyone's patience and understanding regarding all changes. Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread. I want to tell you all something- if you don't trust in these changes or have many doubts about it, and don't want to consume any more of the project's content, I understand 100%. I have a personal commitment with the QSMP and I will work until it functions in the way it is supposed to do.
Lastly, I want to let you know that it was being worked on for months on finalizing the integration of Korean creators to the QSMP. For that reason, tomorrow we will be welcoming the new Korean creators of the QSMP, of course, taking into account all the changes I've just mentioned. I hope you can give the new Korean members warm welcome to the project. And as you know, their schedules are earlier. For everyone who would like to watch, they will be joining at 11am Mexico time and at 9am US time. Basically, I wanted to give that update regarding everything that's being done within the project. Again, thank you for your patience and understanding- these are necessary changes and I'm glad they're being done now. And many more things will keep being adjusted.
via @QuackitySubs
#Quackity#QSMP#QSMP Official#Translated#This is very long and I bolded parts to make it easier to read#but if there's a way to make it more accessible to folks lemme know!#I personally find the bolding thing helpful but I know everyone is different#Edit: got rid of the additional ''Quackity:'' bolded parts since that's unnecessary#since. you know. he's the only one speaking here#Quackity Subs also missed a few words in here so I added those in but otherwise this is exactly what was posted#Minus the part where they said ''fro''#I don't know if they meant for or from but that's a very vital difference so I'm leaving that as-is#IMO: It's reassuring hearing the full statement#''Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread''#is an especially important reminder#There has unfortunately been a lot of misinformation and catastrophizing / doomposting going around#I understand it's a very scary stressful time for many people#and it sucks being told to be patient#but we actually DO need to be patient if we want to get actual accurate information
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If your F/O is part of a popular ship and seems impossible to avoid, here is your reminder to picture your F/O looking at what you are with nothing but annoyance at how untrue it is. They can’t imagine being with someone that isn’t you!
#I know I make posts like these often but I think they’re needed#and I want to reassure people as much as they need#self ship#canon🥊#f/o community#self shipping
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Let the latest patches add whatever new dialogue they write in, but Patch 0 gave me free range to ✨interpret✨ and this will forever be Greygold's canon, HA
For all intents, I did the hell heist as the last-last quest before the finale (So as to be fully prepared and supportive "finishing" babe's personal quest) AND BECAUSE OF THIS, I was tired. Greygold was tired. I was ready to beat the game. I was rushing. STEALING FROM RAPHAEL WAS STRESSING ME OUT. and I dared not go back. So even though Greygold did not want to go through with Haarlep's "game", I couldn't have picked a worse time to forget about their "always another way" philosophy Poor Half-orc was so determined not to fail Lae'zel's personal quest that, for once, ignored companion disapproval. And apparently, with Lae'zel not disapproving nakey Greygy, it looked like Babe was willing to retrieve that hammer no matter the cost either! Until Haarlep said they wanted nakey Greygy to play a "game" with them.
Babe disapproved that time. Babe, who's been cranky all this time, thought not even this way was worth getting the hammer for. Babe still cared about what happened to Greygold.
So by the gods, I happily reloaded and thankfully found a different way, HUAH. Thank you, Babe. Found out later that apparently going the Haarlep way would've suuuuucked. Saved by the babe. Thus I concluded why Babe was so cranky and can't kiss to save her life (I'm looking at you patch 6). And why Greygold's never had another hrm- pleasant conversation with Emps since the last time.
Poor sleep-deprived Lae'zel was bugged as hell killer coconut not because she was mad at Greyg, but because she'd been burning through all of her energy and affection by trying to protect Greygold from any further illithidry influence.
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3#lae'zel#haarlep#greygold#bg3 fanart#bg3 comic#may not be a silly but was quite a pinnacle perception change/interpretation I had for Lae'zel#IT JUST FELT REALLY REASSURING TO KNOW LAE'ZEL STILL CARED BY NOT WANTING GREYG TO MAKE DUMB DECISIONS AFTER ALL THE BUGGED BEHAVIOR#GREYG'S LOVE LIFE WASN'T A MESS AS I THOUGHT IT WAS HA (it still was but not like a -hopeless- mess) I HAD HOPE AGAIN#HOUSE OF PINA COLADA HOPE#obviously Lae'zel kept those exhaustion points at bay by sleeping in camp during the day when not adventuring with Greygold#who needs buggy patch 6 kisses when I can DRAW MY OWN huehhuehHAR#Me. I need my fancy patch 6 kisses. Gimme.
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hc that merlin and Gwen (who are besties btw) are absolutely running shit. Got a problem? Go to them - always to them. They're the ones who know the most about the castle and have full control of the royal schedules.
Uther does not know about this and neither does Arthur - however whenever either one of them pisses Merlin or Gwen off or they just do something like seriously fucked up (looking at you Uther you absolute ass) they bury them in work.
and I mean like bury them: making them wake up at like first light for an 'emergency' (apparently someone thought they saw a sorcerer) straight to training the Knights, to a meeting with the council to deal with the non-existant sorcerer, to confirmations of a celebration
they don't know what the celebration is for. (in truth it's not for anything, the castle just wanted an excuse for a party, and it's funny gaslighting the royals into thinking they approved some random ass celebration a few weeks ago)
The servants know and 100% annoy them with inane shit because their "input" is needed (no the fuck it's not, but getting to fuck over royalty is fun for them)
random servant #1 to Uther: Apologies for interrupting Sir, but the seamstress wanted to confirm time for your fitting for your outfit for the celebration tonight?
Uther, baffled asf running on 5hrs sleep: celebration? there is no celebration??? and what colour scheme
Servant #1 trying not to cackle: yes sir there is? you advised of it just last month - the seamstress just wanted to take last measurements
Servant #2 elbowing #1 to get their shit together: and the blue and purple scheme? You approved it over a month ago, and Prince Arthur confirmed last week before preparations were made.
(all the food is stuff Arthur and Uther barely tolerate and mildly hate and their alcohol is weak asf - meanwhile the knights and everyone else are eating amazingly, drunk off their asses)
more in the tags lol
#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#gwen pendragon#morgana#uther pendragon#knights of the round table#Leon is sleeping#everytime Arthur or Uther piss either Merlin or Gwen off he hides#he refuses to play along because he's loyal#but also he's a bitch and he's annoyed with them as well#new servants are always horrified#they're reassured this happens like once a month#once it happened twice in one month#Leon couldn't be found the whole time#he was with hunith for a holiday and to “help” with an issue#the “incident” as its labelled is because Uther tried to marry Morgana off to some old creep to better help Camelot#and Arthur got his ego bruised and decided to be his prev. princely self (i.e. he was a dick) to some of the new knights#the old creep “passed” in his sleep before the wedding unfortunately#and Arthur got turned into a donkey again#merlin overheard by several people cause he's not trying to whisper: if he wants to be an ass#i'll turn him into an ass
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