#want to question people's reasoning here
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Something I see a lot in talks about AI art is something I've seen about a lot of different kinds of art: a desire to have the product reflect skill and/or talent.
Like, it reminds me so very much of how some (usually older) people react to music software. It used to be that you'd have to go the long way and spend years learning the guitar; now just anybody can simulate that sound for you and clean it all up and make it perfect!
Of course, there are many provisos to that; not anybody can open up that sort of program and put together a great-sounding song. The people who make e.g. really classic Vocaloid songs are very skilled with the program and very talented r.e. music. (And perhaps that is or will be true for AI, too: that anybody can just create a picture, but someone very skilled with a particular program can make something very specific and good!)
But it's that initial impulse that just... bothers me, a little. Because, yes, of course I understand the fear that you devoted years of your life to a subject and now it can be generated by just anyone. But why turn it around and treat it as some sort of principled, purist stance? Why does someone HAVE to devote years of their life to something to make art?
It just feels a bit. Suffering romanticisey. Either that, or making art inaccessible to ordinary people. Like 'Artists' are some inherently different kind of person.
Of course we can still value the dedication that went into specific kinds of work. Maybe that's your favourite thing about art. But doesn't it open up art to so many different kinds of people when barriers are taken away? People who can't afford to slave away for years on it? People who for some sort of physical or mental or whatever reason just can't ever really be as good with the 'traditional' process?
Again: this is not really about AI art and whether it does offer those opportunities to people. This is about the initial reaction that letting ordinary people more easily create art is somehow bad, and takes some kind of soul out of the process. But people have different capabilities; what is easy for most people is very difficult for others. Why is making art impossible for some people so important? What is so much more 'real' about art that requires very special tools, or knowledge that is barred the masses? What are we losing by letting 'untalented' people overcome certain obstacles?
#same thing with autotune#my mum always hated it. if they need autotune they can't sing!!#but i always felt. some people maybe arent QUITE good enough singers#but have really interesting ideas for songs or singing#and id like to hear them!!!#also autotune became a thing not to hide imperfections#but to create a unique sound of its own#VERY quickly#i just.#want to question people's reasoning here#it may be that ai art is bad inherently. but we should dislike it for the right reasons
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#there is twitter discourse happening.#poll#to be fair the discourse in part appears to be a misunderstanding#of the correlation between how often u wash linens/clothes and how often u change them#because. apparently to some people having more than one set of sheets is unimaginable?????#thats not the question here though#this may vary based on the season? or any other reason#i thought my answer was pretty reasonable but there are ppl on twitter that r like#if ur not doing it every week ur nasty. and genuinely.... u think im gonna go thru the effort#of changing it every fucking week.......#genuinely not here to judge i think theres a lot of factors into when u change sheets#but i refuse to believe people are Actually doing it every week. i want to know the circumstances#i guess if u r sweaty or the weather is really bad or ur fucking every night idk.
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Happy EDS awareness month!
I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.
EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.
I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!
I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.
So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.
#I thought about putting my comic patreon and kofi links on here but it felt wrong#I really want this post to just be for my audience!#just so you can feel a little seen and just learn a little more about me#I am NOT inviting invasive questions#this is NOT opening the door to discussion on ways it affects my life#this is me sharing a limited glimpse into a part of my personal life#the real pain that this has caused me is shit like my bfs mom telling him to break up with me over it#and people calling me slurs and whatever#I mean obviously the pain itself too but#yeah.#I dont want to talk about that trauma to my thousands of followers in a way they can reblog it and share it around#so#this is all just for you guys#I love you!#thank you for being here#it's the only reason I'm able to create#is because of the support people give me.#well. I mean actually cause of the support webtoon is giving me tbh#I do NOT make enough to quit yet#but the support from my audience keeps me going and makes all the shittiness of my job worth it#it reminds me that creating stories is worth it all#the physical and emotional pain!#so thank you for keeping me motivated and going
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Colin Morgan Thirst Poll
S5 Merlin
S1 Humans
S3 Humans
The Living and the Dead
The Fall
We Hunt Together
Benjamin
Belfast
Mammals
Testament of Youth
The Tempest
#yes i'm okay!! just answer the question#there's no wrong answer but jsyk I think it should be mammals. benjamin also allowed.#if you haven't seen the fall i want to point out they made him wear eyeliner in some scenes#for absolutely no reason at all. he played a cop.#but they went like... we need him to look se*xy. let's put some makeup on him. something subtle.#like they really thought people wouldn't notice#i just find it funny sorry#anyway. pls answer this.#colin morgan#polls#merlin#(yes leo elster is in here twice. is that a problem.)
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Aromantic*
(Alternate Title: Shrödinger’s Romantic)
I keep wondering if “aromantic” is really a good word to describe my romantic orientation. I have plenty of reasons for why it is, but also plenty of reasons for why it might not be. Shrödinger’s romantic.
In order to know whether you experience romantic attraction or not, you first have to have a solid definition of what romantic attraction is. A definition which is clear, and also distinct from other forms of emotional attraction. I don’t think such a definition exists, or at least, it’s not commonplace.
“Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.” - UNC Chapel Hill LGBT Center
But what is romantic contact or interaction? Is it contact which is culturally considered romantic? In that case, the ways in which romantic attraction is defined would vary by culture, and even by gender. Or is it contact which one intends to be romantic? That would make sense, but is incredibly subjective. How do you know where to draw the line? What if you haven’t drawn one?
“[Romantic attraction] involves a combination of physical, sexual, and emotional feelings toward someone.” - WebMD
This definition is ridiculously vague, especially for a page which defines multiple other types of attraction in relation to romance. What physical feelings? What sexual feelings? What emotional feelings? What about alloromantic asexual people, or other varioriented people, who don’t necessarily experience sexual feelings as part of their romantic feelings?
But the article also defines aromanticism as “when you don’t have any desire for a romantic relationship,” so I can’t count on it for accuracy regardless.
“Romantic attraction is the internal pull that you experience when you are with someone with whom you internally feel connected, comfortable and interested in spending more of your life with.” - Choosing Therapy
Do people not feel connected to their friends? Do people not feel comfortable with their friends? Are people not interested in spending more of their life with their friends? Why else would people find time to connect with their friends, to confide in them, to engage with them? What about these feelings is distinctly romantic?
The article goes on to say this:
“Romantic relationships are relationships intentionally initiated and maintained for experiencing sexual and romantic feelings together, whereas platonic relationships are usually centered on another purpose like hobbies, friendship, support, work, etc. Romantic relationships can also include these purposes as well, but the platonic relationship excludes the romance and sexual feelings.” - Choosing Therapy
I ask again, what about alloaces and other varioriented people? What about people who have sex with their friends? Even when it’s taboo, it’s not unheard of. The distinction can’t be sex, so it has to be romance. So, what is romance?
Later in the article, it defines romance once again:
“Romantic attraction: The internal pull that draws your attention to the other person’s positive qualities, and your internal reaction to connect, love, share and spend time with them to have more romance.” - Choosing Therapy
I feel like I’m running in circles here. People draw their attention to the positive qualities of not just romantic interests, but to friends, family, and other people with whom they’d have no romantic interest. Connection, love, and spent time are not exclusive to romance either. If the goal is to have more romance… What is that?
Every answer I find fails to say what romance is on its own. The definitions always rely on presence or absence of sex, or other things which can just as easily be present in platonic or otherwise non-romantic contexts. Romantic attraction is consistently defined by things which are not distinctly romantic.
Is it even a real thing? I mean, I feel like it’s clearly not, but it’s also clearly very real to most people. Most people don’t think about it this hard. It’s like they were given a manual that I can never possess. It comes naturally to them. They feel romantic attraction, and they know, intuitively, that that’s what it is.
Is my lack of intuition evidence that I don’t experience romantic attraction, or am I just autistic? Maybe it’s both. When I described to my aunts my emotional attraction, they described my way of experiencing and perceiving attraction as very “intellectual,” which I initially rejected. But I think they were right. I lack the intuition to understand my feelings in any way that doesn’t involve a literal or metaphorical chart. It’s something I can’t just feel and then know like other people do.
Is romantic attraction always a “you’ll know it when you feel it” sort of thing? It seems like it. Even when I search “romantic attraction” on Google, many results either come from queer Fandom Wiki pages, discussions amongst a-spec people, Reddit, or Quora. Some results aren’t even relevant to the question, including multiple results which just describe what “aromantic” means. The opposite of what I intended to search for.
The thing is, I do have feelings which would likely be perceived as romantic to most people. I have a deep desire for commitment and companionship. To touch and be touched. To love and be loved. To be emotionally and physically intimate with other people. To feel the warmth of other people as we lay in bed together. To live out our mundane lives together. Things that most people would find incredibly romantic.
But are these things romantic if I don’t explicitly intend for them to be? Is it romantic for me to be open to it being romantic, without actively wanting that?
When I’ve described my feelings online, I’ve gotten mixed responses from other people, but I’ve generally been given similar advice from different strangers, and similar labels thrown at me, even when I hadn’t asked for advice or labels.
“I think you’d enjoy a queerplatonic relationship.”
“You might be cupioromantic.”
“You might be bellusromantic.”
And I can understand where they’re coming from. I don’t think they’re entirely wrong, either. I would enjoy a queerplatonic relationship… But not for any reason that wouldn’t apply to other committed relationship types. Queerplatonic relationships, platonic relationships, romantic relationships, and whatever else there is are the same to me in all but label.
Cupioromanticism is something I have considered. I made the flag for it when I was 15 years old as well (yes, the peach one with five stripes; I always asked to be credited anonymously), so I’m biased towards liking the flag. But the definition is “being aromantic, and also wanting a romantic relationship.”
I don’t specifically want a romantic relationship, but I do want committed relationships in general, and romantic relationships are included in that. So, maybe?
Bellusromantic is something I have also considered, and it also has a pretty flag. But I think it’s less accurate than cupioromantic. The definition is “being aromantic, and enjoying traditionally romantic things, but not wanting a romantic relationship (or not wanting a committed relationship, depending on the definition used).”
I do enjoy traditionally romantic things in a way which is not explicitly romantic, and I don’t explicitly want a romantic relationship. But I’m not opposed to romantic relationships, and I do explicitly want committed relationships.
I took some aro-spec tests, and my results had a tendency to skew towards cupioromantic, bellusromantic, and quoiromantic. Quoiromantic is another orientation which I have considered, and it might be the most accurate.
Quoiromantic is also aptly known as “whatromantic” or “WTFromantic” because the defining trait is that romantic attraction as a concept doesn’t make sense to you.
“[Quoiromantic], also known as [whatromantic] or [WTFromantic], is a [romantic] orientation defined by confusion, vagueness, and/or obscurity. A [quoiromantic] person may not understand or relate to the concepts of [romantic] attraction and/or [romantic] orientation. [Quoiromanticism] may involve confusion related to what [romance] is, whether or not one experiences [romantic attraction], and how to differentiate it from other forms of attraction. [Quoiromanticism] can also feel blurry and unclear, and may center around general confusion around one's identity and attraction. It can also refer to a lack of identification with [romantic] orientation as a concept, and can additionally serve as a label for people who cannot fit into more specific identities. [Quoiromanticism] can also refer to when one does not experience [romantic] attraction in a "traditional" manner. It is sometimes used as a catch-all term for people who know they're somewhere on the [aromantic] spectrum, but aren't sure where.” - An LGBTQIA+ Wiki (originally about quoisexuality; I changed some words.)
In a similar vein, pomoromantic (“pomo” being literally taken from “postmodern”) would also fit. My romantic orientation exists from a post-romantic perspective, where romance is understood to be made up bogus which isn’t actually fundamentally different from any other form of emotional connection.
“[Pomoromanticism] is defined as refusing, avoiding, or not fitting any [romantic] orientation label in terms of conventional labels or classifications, such as gay, lesbian, [biromantic], or [aromantic]. It challenges categorizations in favor of largely unmapped possibility and the intense charge that comes with transgression. Some [pomoromantic] people may be queer or questioning, and others may not be.” - Another LGBTQIA+ Wiki (originally about pomosexuality; I changed some words.)
But at that point, is it even worth labeling my romantic orientation? Should I just be bisexual/omnisexual? Maybe with a little asterisk at the end? Does any of this matter? Am I thinking too much? (I am.)
I think that continuing to identify as aromantic will probably close me off to potential relationships. I feel like the word gives people the wrong idea. At the same time, the way that I think about romance is fundamentally different than the way other people tend to, and I do consider my aromanticism to be a notable part of who I am and how I experience the world. Maybe I should just send this to whoever ends up being a potential partner. Probably more useful than any label.
#I originally typed this up as a google doc#and then I decided I wanted to put it here too#especially with the other posts I've been making lol#side note: the cupioromantic flag might be the flag I'm most proud of making. it's a really pretty flag#I originally shared it in an LGBTQ+ discord server in 2020#very happy every time I see people use it#except for Pride Palace because FUCK Pride Palace.#they started selling the cupioromantic pride flag I made and I AM NOT happy about it lol#I'm fine with people using the flag for commercial reasons but I REALLY don't like Pride Palace#I'm not about to ask them to stop selling it though.#just know that their “free flags” are a SCAM and the reviews are obviously fake if you look at the ones on their website#and they're obviously just trying to cash into the LGBTQ+ community without knowing anything about us#anyway cupioromantic pride flag rant = over. tag time#aspec#aromantic#aro#arospec#aro spec#aro spectrum#aromantic spectrum#aromanticism#aromanticity#quoiromantic#cupioromantic#bellusromantic#pomoromantic#queerplatonic#questioning#unlabeled#lgbt
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[Image description: A digital drawing based on the film Girl Shy. It depicts Harold Lloyd's character Harold Meadows sat at his typewriter, paused in thought as his fingers hover above it. His eyes are looking up and his mouth is slightly open, like he's dreaming awake. A thought bubble floats around him like smoke, with the faces of two women in the middle of it. The two have annotations next to them that denote the twenties era stereotypes that they are styled as. The one noted as "the flapper" is smiling and has curly, slightly unkempt hair, with a headband around it. She has lighter makeup than the woman next to her, who has dark lips and eyeshadow and is labelled "the vamp". She has large circular statement earrings and an ornate headpiece atop her smooth updo. Her eyes are downturned, and her expression less approachable. Harold is coloured in greyscale, and so are the ladies, although they have a warmer brown tone, as does the smoke. There's a pinker line of light surrounding them and the writing. The background is a dark brown.]
Inktober - Day 15 (Guidebook)
Film - Girl Shy (Fred C. Newmeyer, Sam Taylor, 1924)
#inktober#inktober 2024#girl shy#harold lloyd#girl shy 1924#harold lloyd fanart#girl shy 1924 fanart#digital art#if u wanna get into harold lloyd films id probs recommend something like the freshman first but uhhh i do like this one obvs#i cant tell if its sexist or making fun of that with the portion this is referencing tbh ... or like some weird combo#which is a question that always pops up when watching silent comedy lol#so just be aware of that before u watch it lol#its really cute though :) the main romance (not pictured) is so 💛💛💛#also for some reason i remembered there being 3 fantasy women instead of just the two here 🤔🤔 couldnt find anything tho...#i know the move for drawing silent era stuff would be black and white or normal greyscale but i wanted something more sepia here#i think a lot of people underestimate the variety of tones in silent cinema tbh#i love when i watch one and they do the blue and yellow tinting for scenes <3#anyway song of the day is shes so modern by the boomtown rats :)#have recently become obssessed with the song... on repeat... consuming my thoughts...#really really catchy 🙏🙏#i am getting into the boomtown rats a bit tbh ... really enjoying the album this song is from 💛💛
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"do you miss kissing?" is a bonkers line to say to your newly acquired ghost friend as you're dying of hypothermia ily charles rowland
#dbda#i keep thinking about his passing scene and milky way playing in the background good lord#and another thing the way it played out on the show... edwin could have saved him it took the boy at least a day to die come on#see why im stuck here i have so many questions and the fuckers are keeping all the answers for unreleased seasons#all the closure i can get are tumblr posts#another thing im thinking about: the last scene is charles literally flirting with edwin. and the director said he wanted Desire to be in s#so many possibilities#but mostly the questions aren't even about the relationship stuff#they set up so well so many conflicting character drives#lets take charles as an example he wants to be alive and he wants to be a dead boy detective#(says many times that that's his reason for being in fact).#now what if they fuck this narrative up and in season two they never give him a chance to be alive again#(and subsequently not a dead boy detective anymore)#what if they never explore the implications of his wanting to be good and believing to be bad:#'it doesnt matter if I don't feel the kiss'#potentially hurting people by mistake likewith the bell or with a possible poor handling of crystal/edwin feelings#his parents still being alive#see this would all be solved if only i had another eight episodes ready to watch and instead i get no answer
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for those unfamiliar, it’s a supernatural notebook where if a person’s name is written with their face in mind, they die of a heart attack in forty seconds.
the rules get much more complicated after that, but for simplicity’s sake, that’s the gist. but know that according to death note lore, the user will meet an untimely demise and go to neither heaven nor hell.
#for legal reasons we are just talking fantasy here <3#this is such a classic question with so much nuance#i want people to CHOOSE#death note#my polls#also i’m sure this has been done several times before#and i don’t care
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This might be juvenile, but do you have any tips on not comparing yourself to others? (Especially when it comes to note count or popularity.) I’ve been posting a story for over a year and it hardly gets any traction. It’s tough for me to see new creators post and get hundreds or even thousands of notes. I hate that I’m doing this but don’t know how to quit it!
this is not juvenile!! i struggle with this myself, especially knowing that i hit my peak years ago and i've been on the decline ever since – but only by numbers alone! i'm more proud of my story than i've ever been, i'm more attached to my characters, i'm putting more love and thought into everything, but i had to be realistic with myself and understand that i'll never pull even half the notes i did in 2020. gone are the days when i would wake up to 3 new anons about my story and dms from people every day (i can't believe i used to get overwhelmed by it...) and i would be lying if i said it didn't make me sad sometimes, because we're humans and our brains are practically wired to crave the hit of happy chemicals you get from seeing the stupid number go up 😭 it does feel demotivating. it makes me feel less urgency to post quicker if i convince myself that no one is waiting for me anyway, which means i post less, which means even less people stick around, which makes me post less, and on and on. it's a tough thing for me to come to terms with in all honesty.
but it helps to remember that i would be writing even if no one is reading. and i know that, because i have! i've written entire novel-length fics that i've never published, i've written countless short stories in the frozen pines universe that i'll never post, i've created alternate universes that will never be shown, etc. i do it because the idea is in my head and it needs to Get Out and i'm kinda just a conduit for that. that might not apply to you, and that's okay! everyone is different. the important thing is to really sit down and think about WHY you write and what you get out of it. which part of the process makes you happiest? what makes you feel a sense of fulfillment / satisfaction? play to your strengths. try not to spend your time doing things you think other people will enjoy and instead, spend more time on the things that make you happy. for me, i haaaaate editing and i always have, so lately i've been trying to speed through it a little bit quicker even if it means the final product won't be as appealing to others. (this is still a work in progress for me...) i have more fun when i experiment with different writing styles, which might not appeal to others because it takes longer and i don't really have a recognizable style, but i don't care anymore because i'm having fun! ask yourself what YOU want from your story, and then write for yourself and only yourself.
essentially what i'm saying is: there will ALWAYS be people more popular than you, and there's no guarantee that when you find the popularity you seek, you'll be able to keep it. so you need to find some sort of intrinsic motivation to continue or you'll just keep comparing yourself to others forever and you'll deny yourself the joy of creation! "comparison is the thief of joy" could not be more true!!
#this might be the most honest i've been lmao#i guess i've been thinking about it more after i posted a poll a while ago asking about something that happened in a story post#one of the options was ''i don't read your story i just wanted to click a button'' and so many people clicked that#not to be dramatic it just sort of feels like a gut punch when you realize that even the likes you DO get aren't all from readers#they're from people who want to click a button / show support / wish they had time to read but can't / etc#and like. of course!! i'm not a hypocrite - i like story posts without reading them too because we only have so much time in a day#but ever since then i've been trying to just say fuck it. i'm here for ME#i literally put my simself into my story because idgaf anymore. i've found my reason for writing and it isn't notes or engagement#those are awesome and i will always be grateful when i do get those things#but it's not my reason for being here anymore#lowkey i'm here because my story saved my life but that's not an easy thing to explain in an advice question fskjdsjd#asks#anonymous#nonsims#brandi answers
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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am i tripping or is x3 relatively way better than dark phoenix like,,, obviously the second half of x3's plot is atrociously wrong (apart from when erik keeps bringing up charles) but the initial set up and premise feel less flat than dark phoenix with more things going on than just jean/phoenix and erik and the brotherhood don't feel as shoehorned?
i fear i feel you ..... however ive always held the belief X3 wasnt a terrible movie on the sole basis hank was there and the movie started with old man bickering while adopting their daughter so this aint a shocking opinion to meee
'but snap hank was in dark phoenix too' ok he didnt piss me off in X3 !!!!! moving on !!!!!!!!
#snap chats#so funny how things are intersecting cause people are talking about DP on twitter#like with X3. it wasnt my favorite but i could at least be like 'ok that was fine'#DP just had me bored or like. Miffed#idk i should rewatch them movies again.... awful because i rewatched dark phoenix twice in a week for some reason#I DONT KNOW WHY?? I WATCHED IT ONCE THEN AGAIN FOR SOME RESAON BUT OK#anyway no youre right with the brotherhood bit like we were actualy introduced to them in x3#or we saw how we got here. in dp We Just Fuckin Here. Inexplicably. Erik Werent You Wanted For Terrorism#why you just hangin out in this relatively nice field with supplies LMAO#oh but about hank tho. this my beef with the hank/mystique bit like girl why he so pressed at charles like that#as if mystique wasnt charles' sister like hank you gottttt nooooo right to be more upset than charles#like people crticize DP for how antagonistic people are to charles and WHILE CONCEPTUALLY i dont think thats a bad thing#i think it can be fun and interesting to criticize charles sometimes- or at least question him every now and then#but it do be kinda comedic in this movie cause its so....... Oh Hello JLAEKAJK LIKE WHY YALL SO MEAAN TO HIM WHATD HE DO#god this rambling is not meant for tags im gonna run out. all ima say is X3 did handle the dark phoenix thing better#even if the movie still isnt. super good. on consensus idk i should rewatch it it been a while
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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i fear i used up all my powers to influence the outcome of sonic channel polls in the sonicsweep incident of 2023 . which was worth it because the art that came out of that was really cute . but also . im so sorry maria i have failed you . you deserve to win this poll so much more than sonic . well actually maria isnt really my first choice here either because the other choices have even less art than her but she still would have been a better outcome than sonic
#the 2023 art in question is the sonic and knuckles art where sonic is in a jester outfit btw#for people wondering why i voted sonic there but didnt want him to win here . the context matters#sonic has already been in the calendar twice this year but in the 2023 poll im talking about right now#it was the second to last one of the year and was the first time sonic had appeared in the polls at all#and also both of his opponents were characters who had already gotten calendar art that year#and also . part of the theme for 2023 was the characters in cute outfits. and i wanted to see sonic in an outfit#all of that led me to campaign for sonic to win as if my life depended on it#and there were noticeable spikes in sonic votes around the times my post about it were being spread around lmao#anyway. none of my reasoning for wanting sonic to win that time applies to the current poll. sonic should be losing rn Idc
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)
#melonposting#this isn't meant to be ii neg by the way. i'm just confused about AE's writing choices#i don't remember if they ever said explicitly? at the very least i haven't heard an official answer#i don't think it was initially for any plot reason. my theory is that it's for the same reason bfb and tpot split#the episodes were taking really long to make and they wanted to go back to regular lighthearted uploads. which is understandable#so while ii2 was cooking they could still post new ii episodes with reasonable frequency#but that also raises so many questions#the biggest: why the hell is mephone here#seriously i know people like mephone but i'm sure having a different host wouldn't turn literally everyone off#and mephone hosting this show causes so many strange easily avoidable problems#like the screwy timeline. mephone ditches his show for what he experiences to be years and yet ii2 is continuing like normal#only a day has passed for them. why? maybe they'll try to explain it#in any event if ii3 had a different host this wouldn't even be an issue#but then they made ii3 really plot heavy for mephone which then ended up screwing itself over#the season justified itself as being mephone trying to escape from his problems#and he goes through character development to address all of his baggage and how much of a jerk he can be#that suddenly makes what seems to have been meant to be a lighthearted offshoot season into an imperative piece of his character (bizarre)#which would inevitably make his return to ii2 really weird cuz that would mean he had his redemption arc basically off-screen#but then they didn't even do that????? in the new episode mephone is still his old bastard self. nothing like late ii3 mephone#which means that they're effectively retconning ii3's plot out of existence. as it is ii 15 barely acknowledged anything specific from ii3#but this in particular is especially absurd. ii2 can continue like normal only because they're acting like ii3 never happened#which is just insane to me. why even give mephone character development in ii3 to begin with???????#why does ii3 even exist????????????????????? his character development is literally the in-universe justification for the season#i'm so confused#i'm just glad ii2 can proceed like normal :thumbsup: but these are seriously some puzzling writing decisions
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Hello Tumblr, all I can offer is the idea of favorite duos dancing with each other okay that is all
#mainly MAINLY right now remembering my ocs tbh#which only like two people have lore on the specific ones I'm talking about but shhhh#madi rambles#because that's what this is gonna turn into#and you can take this idea and have it be silly platonically OR serious romantically it's versatile!! we love that in a good basic thought!!#also I want Timber dancing with each other at a gala event or something I miss them violently#if i talked about my ocs on here would anyone care that is the question#the answer is probably no but still#aLSO for jay and ru who are probably reading these I need you two to think about Birdflash being the silliest dancers those two can do a#waltz yes but They do it way too fast and so they need to be taught faster formal dances because menaces the lot of them#it doesn’t help that wally for some reason often leads in the dances So of course it goes fast because Dick just wants to see how Well Wally#is gonna pull this off#just just in a Rambling mood UGH
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