#What can we do but pick up the pieces
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Photo
Without me, who am I (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Vent#More of this#What can we do but pick up the pieces#With a habit that long-running and ingrained it'd be hard to just Stop even if the backlog was destroyed#Not really a choice to Do or Not Do - it's just What One Does whether there's a scaffold to build from or not#The worst part(s) for me really is the memory of people - bringing my ADHD!Max headcanon to the very forefront here haha#To be fair even if he doesn't have That Particular reason to have a shaky hold on his working and/or longterm memory - his drug problem#The idea of not having access to my memories of the people I love/my history/ideas/events or stories that have moved and shaped me#It's probably the scariest thing I can think of#Coupled with the lack of guarantee of tomorrow - that anything that Has existed until now will Continue to exist#And now I don't even have a way to look back to when it did. Total oblivion#Obviously not All of it but I don't even know what I don't know anymore it's just fully gone#So - some more comfort doodles of the boy <3 Shared grief half a grief and all that#He's always lovely and I love him ♥ Important-to-me lad#I'm not sure the last three-set translates exactly - losing your own diary/history/memories can be very self-alienating#No pun intended haha#Max's dream journal was always to do with ZEX and DAX and the Captain once he showed up - a life different from his own#I suppose if you wanted to go really meta with it - since Max is /a/ ZEX and his concept as a character is to be a version of him#Who is he without ZEX? Who are we without our trajectories?#I drew him with his eye there so it's assumed he'd be Max but a Defeated ZEX posing that question to Dex would be interesting too#Changes the ''me'' in question from Max to ZEX - either way their source is the same!#Being actively discouraged from and punished for his creative outlet - different circumstances but a similar sadness I suppose#The Loss and Aimlessness for sure
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
The idea of Till having a certain sentiment of regret, hate? towards Ivan for what he did in round 6 jumbled up with his already mixed feelings about Ivan because of the person he is and how he treated Till when they were kids up until now, it's a lot. It breaks my heart but feels a little too real.
#my brain fart that i stole from twitter because i really do rip my hair out because of this still and i wanted to cross platform yap#alien stage#alnst till#alien stage till#and by hate i dont haha mean haha actually haha#tills pov on ivan is such a dubious topic already and everything is so confusing#it scares me#the possibility of till hating ivan for some time because of what he did is more likely than id like to accept...not because of ivan himsel#-but because this is just as intense of an experience for till as it is for us. and ivan left no way to explain himself before he died#that leaves till to pick up the pieces all by himself now and to try and make sense of it all#can we really blame him if he has some misplaced emotions here and there#he put this massive burden on till. virtually hurt him. i think its to be expected for him to feel awful about that.#and thatll be reflected in his performance in round 7
67 notes
·
View notes
Note
*shoves 🎤 in your face* Do you think Tsunade, Oro and Jiraya ever explored each other's bodies, before the fall out???
<leans into mic> yes. probably.
you’re telling me three teenagers to twenty somethings who lived through two back to back wars with weird interpersonal sexual tension DIDN’T fuck at least once??? not even once????
though i imagine it’s also possible they didn’t and all that tension stayed there in their ribs, a bit like a rot. the sannin to me feel like foils for team 7 that never overcome their personal issues and find connection and growth through each other.
in a way, them never exploring each other’s bodies is a part of Their Problem. they could not seek solace or support in each other in anything that wasn’t fighting. which in turn caused them to isolate themselves from each other, and inevitably caused each of them to leave the village. the will of fire is defined by the chains of love and care you have for your comrades making you stronger. tsunade, orochimaru and jiraiya do not allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other. so they lose their will of fire and their trauma controls them.
i think maybe if they Had explored each others bodies, they would have been able to express a certain level of vulnerability together that would have kept them from falling out.
all this is to say, did the fuck in canon? probably not. in fluffy clouds?
:)
#asks#thank you for the ask!#i love talking about the sannin i have such fun plans for them#these three ptsd riddled idiots are my favorite blorbos to throw at each other#cause what do you mean we three are declared the strongest of our generation#we three together. just us. and only when we are together can we be so strong.#and then we all split up and never fight Together again#one dies another grows hateful and the last is left to pick up the pieces of their teacher’s dream#sannin#fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder#jiraiya#orochimaru#tsunade senju
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41
#wtFOCK#Skam#Zoë Loockx#Senne De Smet#Zoenne#LOVE HURTS#Veerle Dejaeger#Nathan Naenen#wtFOCKEdit#SkamverseDaily#SkamRemakesEdit#s3#3x08#I remember people coming to talk to me about this clip the day it dropped bc they were happy about it and I was like…#have we watched the same clip? excuse me I’m still picking up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor#no but really I understand them both so deeply here it’s the worsttttt 💔#first she’s making the right decision but that doesn’t make it a happy moment. it’s SO SAD SHE IS HAVING TO MAKE THIS DECISION SHE’S 16!#OFC if we were still in Zoë’s POV this would have never been an issue but the writers really thought they’d convince me +#my babies had unlearned how to communicate SMH they were the best at it okay? this right here is EFFING BULLSHIT#but considering it’s what they were going for I get why they’re acting the way they’re acting and it hurts#because Zoë thinks Senne wants for her to make Viktor pay for everything he’s done wrong in his life and she’s feeling like her own trauma#and how hard it still is for her to talk about it isn’t being acknowledged by him…#and Senne oh he really wants her to do it bc 1- he feels that what went on is his fault & he desperately needs his half brother to PAY +#FOR WHAT HE DID TO HER! HE’S KNOWN THE GUY HIS WHOLE LIFE (PROBABLY KNOWS THE ACCIDENT IN THE PAST MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL ACCIDENT)#they have history and that makes everything even more awful bc he doesn’t understand why Zoë doesn’t feel like testifying#I don't believe that Senne would have been this incisive hadn't he ~known~ her ab*ser#I mean I think he would have accepted her decision way more easily if he didn't feel responsible for what happened 😔#she’s been feeling all alone in her anguish and at the same time starts pushing him away#it’s painful to see how the two of them are trying here. He’s so trying to support her no matter what#and she’s so trying to be strong for herself but her eyes are teary she can barely look at him it’s too much 😭❤️🩹
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm still recuperating so I can't make gifs or recaps of any kind but I just wanted to throw another bit of tng reaction
#he's what we would call in my land UN DENSO#and also I watched two seasons of picard and bits and pieces of tng before so I knew he was homoerotically obsessed with the man but#maybe you can deal with that without getting the fucking borg involved???? hello?????#disaster homosexual and also un denso#trelane but gay and obsessed with the captain#luly rambles#I've been meaning to make a gif of a different ep for days but I couldn't yet#maybe tomorrow I can pick up nona again and do a recap without fancy stuff
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am not a baby!! (Yes you are,)
(Prompt) (Previous part) (Next) (Masterpost) (Ao3)
(Part four peoples!!!)
Either something went wrong with that transmission or he was going to be stuck on this planet for 99,999 hours. Both options didn't bode well for him but one was clearly better than the other.
Ancient's how long was 99,999 hours? With a number that big he was looking at spending around ten years waiting for a rescue team to show up and help them. If everyone wasn't dead by that point they'd probably have built a super cool society with Deepsea bases and nuclear power that they'd have to give up. In ten years he would've figured out what the heck was going on with him and brought them home himself. Though, ten years would give him an excuse for why he was still around the same age he was when he left. Wipe the PDA's data beyond recovery, blame the most annoying creature or plant as what shrank him, and refuse to elaborate any further.
A transmission error was more likely than his brilliant hypothetical scenario. When a spaceship as big as the aurora crashed there was bound to be some interference. Whether that interference be artificial or not was still unclear much to his dismay.
At least he had a scanner, that was a big step for him in his progression. A lot of the actually helpful blueprints were corrupted in the crash and supposedly the scanner could help recover them. Scanning fragments of salvaged tech would be the quickest way of recovery all things considered. Destroyed beacons, singed seaglides, and trashcans were scattered all throughout the shallows, pollution likely reaching farther than what he'd explored. With a crash, this big damage likely extended much farther than what was visible to him.
Not only did their ship crush who knows how many creatures and plants, the regular and radioactive pollution would screw over future generations of fish! It was the intergalactic equivalent of a catastrophic oil spill and he was an unwilling participant in it. Something deep inside him ached at the thought of him being a participant in a planet's destruction.
Chunks of broken spaceship were bad enough for the environment on its own. Batteries, trash, fuel, and hundreds of pounds of manmade resources that'd take hundreds if not thousands of years to decompose. Every scrap of metal, every piece of plastic trash no matter the size was something to poison, choke or kill the local wildlife. Sam would be furious, this wasn't a case of natural food shortages or extreme weather, this could very well be an extinction event! Nuclear power was the default for Alterra's larger ships, and if it wasn't already, the aurora was soon to start leaking radiation all over the place!
This was one of the few life-bearing planets humanity discovered! Hundreds upon hundreds of planets have been discovered within humanity's years of space exploration but life existing without human intervention was still rare. Metal, rock, and gas were what were all that were usually brought back in the beginning. As humanity's technology advanced, they went farther into space, with more habitable planets being discovered and an uptick in thriving alien life. There was always a continuous stream of new discoveries in their universe, alien floras and fauna being discovered as often as they went extinct. Even so, it'd be a cold day in hell before he shared responsibility for any aliens going extinct.
Genetic mutations, Birth defects, and massive amounts of death were the first things that came to mind when radiation was brought into the picture. Radiation was the biggest issue so far, the melted spaceship could be recycled, no matter what Alterra's stupid rules told him he could and couldn't do. Trusting a corporation to clean up their own messes was like asking a toddler to clean up their toys; it would only lead to a conniption fit and a half-assed job. It was unclear how long he was going to be here and if when he met up with the other survivors, the need for materials would only increase as time went on.
Scanning and salvaging would have to wait until the next morning. Darkness shrouded the ocean outside his life pod, making it twice as dangerous to be out there tearing wrecks apart. Bioluminescence wasn't a skill he could put on his resume just yet nor was any kind of night vision. It would be both dangerous and annoying to swim around aimlessly in the dark when he had a perfectly good life pod he could relax in.
Standing in the safety of his lifepod, Danny ran the scanner up and down his body, the tech lighting him up a brilliant blue.
"Performing self-scan. Vital signs follow continuous pattern; no adverse effects identified. Detecting tracing amounts of foreign bacteria. Continuing to monitor,"
The PDA chimed and if Danny were an actual infant like the stupid tablet insisted he was he wouldn't have understood a word of those sentences. But since he wasn't a baby he could properly understand that there were alien germs in his body that really shouldn't be there.
Yeah, That seemed like a problem but it wasn't the reason his powers were short-circuiting. Before they even entered the atmosphere his powers were going wonky. Everything felt the same as it did before he came in contact with this "Foreign bacteria" There were no physical symptoms to complain about so maybe it was just his PDA's way of warning him he was coming down with an alien cold?
Whatever it was, Danny bet fifty bucks the metal muncher was what gave it to him. The creature had a face that screamed "Hey! look at me, I have all the diseases!" Now he was no marine biologist but scrap metal and electrical wire didn't exactly seem like the healthiest snack to chew on. Although, with the resemblance it had to crocodiles back home, one could only wonder if it swallowed metal to help with digestion?
Jagged teeth like the ones on the metal muncher weren't exactly suitable for grinding up food. Finding out the Metal muncher's stomach was full of rocks would be the least surprising thing that's happened today. Metal salvage from the Aurora was way too big to work as a stomach stone so it was more likely the creature just liked chewing on metal. It seemed just as interested in the titanium deposits as it was with the salvage so maybe it was a natural way to file down or sharpen their teeth? Hopefully, the metal munchers were smart enough to avoid chewing on wires that were actively sparking.
Opening a note function on his PDA, Danny began scribbling down everything he'd learned from his encounter with the metal muncher. Easily distracted, aggressive, territorial? Deciding everything he’d seen today was their normal everyday behavior would be stupid. There were new variables in the creature’s environment that could impact its behavior. Continued observation would be helpful as would scanning the animal in the morning. If Danny was going to be stranded on an alien planet you bet your ass he’s going to be studying the local wildlife while he’s here.
“A proper sleep schedule is imperative to the physical and phycological development of young children, " A chime played on his PDA closing the notes app without any warning. A repetitive string of Z’s overtook his screen making it impossible for him to navigate through the applications. Cheeks burning Danny turned the thing off and on again stomping with a huff when the same thing happened when it booted up again.
Taking a deep breath Danny sulked over to the storage unit. It was the only flat surface in this Lifepod he could lay down on and one could only pray to the ancients that the lid wouldn’t cave underneath him. Sleeping on the floor was out of the question. biohazardous goo coated the floor, still liquid enough to slosh around with the erythematic motion of the sea. Naturally, due to preferences, Danny decided to curl up on a surface that didn't have his melted organs on it.
________
Slithering through a barren seabed that once flourished as well as one could in a dying ocean. Mourning the lives that were lost today, he'd failed all over again. His youngest had been the one to see the precursors building raise into the sky this time. A blast strong enough to shake the island that it was built on shot out into the sky. They'd expected something to crash into the water soon after but what they hadn't expected was the size of what hit the waters.
Miles of the seafloor was torn up, and thousands of animals were dead. Jason said it was ironic, even after the precursors wiped themselves out they still found ways to destroy the planet. Bruce thought it was just cruel. It was by sheer stroke of luck that none of his kids had been close to the reaper's breeding ground at the time of impact. All of them managed to remain relatively unharmed when flames and giant pieces of rubble fell from the sky.
Surviving reapers flocked to the sight of the impact, shielded, unseen through the cloud of upturned sand and rubble. It wasn't until they caught a reaper with a familiar-looking creature locked in its mandibles, red blood spilling into the waters as it once had a decade ago that they realized it was happening again.
Nearly all who they'd found near the impact site had been unresponsive, charred, or mangled with their organs strewn out through the sea. In the clutches of the predators now circling the site dying in their arms no matter how quickly or carefully they managed to pry them from the brutal maw of the reapers. Within minutes of the impact, they'd already had a death count in the dozens. It was horrific, little bodies so much like his and his children's more vulnerable forms, dulled claws of younglings that had not yet grown old enough to hunt for themselves. Worst of all was looking into their dying eyes and seeing the agony and confusion of a sentient creature facing a brutal death just as their lives had begun. But that was the death count before the others landed.
Eggs with metallic shells and odd patterning landed all throughout the crater some even landing in the cold darkness of the void where they couldn't be retrieved. Their landings had been much gentler than the initial impact. Immediately the little ones began crawling out of their shells, confused and scared, physically weak. It wasn't uncommon for the precursors to deform the unborn, kidnaping and experimenting on children who lived and died in agony. Malformities ran rampant in this batch of younglings. Instead of soft faces and the vibrant, expressive eyes, they'd come to associate with these children, there were pitch-black, featureless heads smoother than sandstone but solid as titanium. There were points when a child that looked perfectly healthy would go limp for seemingly no reason and never move again. A sped-up gestation period was known to cause problems, let alone a hatching that was induced by precursor technology. As much as it killed him to admit, these younglings, while more abundant were sicklier than the small batch of three that'd fallen years ago.
Most if not all the healthier young ones died from the elements before they could reach them. It was devastating for Dick to find the youngling he'd been guarding in his territory, covered in the luminescent cysts that foreshadowed a certain death. The children got scared when they tried to protect them and when these children got scared they had a tendency to die from it.
Every single death felt like a personal failure. It's like nothing they could do would ever stop the hurt that the precursors continued to cause a thousand years after their extinction.
"Hey... B?" Dick's voice echoed in his mind a reassuring reminder that his son was safe and close enough to contact them. However, the emotions that came in with his son's words were anything but reassuring. Stomach filling with dread he settled on the sea bed just preparing himself for devastating news.
"We've searched the entire crater- none of them survived," A wave of grief hit him like a tsunami when Dicks words sunk in.
"Not the entire crater, there's still the one that landed in the shallows," Tim chimed in.
"We watched that egg for three hours and nothing crawled out of it," Steph groaned and Bruce could almost hear the dramatic way his daughter threw herself into the sand.
"Plus it was smoking and smelled of rot," Duke added somberly, slowly gliding through the impact site by his side.
"Geez, none of them even survived long enough to start building this time!" Dick exclaimed a mournful edge to his usual cheerful tone.
"Tch, pitiful," Damian finally decided to chime in, disappointment clear in the juveniles voice
" Who's pitiful? The babies who died today or the precursors who set them up for death?" Jason questioned, a dangerous edge seeping into the bond.
"I think it's obvious who I was talking about Todd," Damian spat.
"Considering how obsessed you are with what the last group created no, it's not obvious demon spawn," Jason sneered.
"Guys!" Dick snapped. "Arguing with each other isn't help and it sure as the lava zone is hot isn't going to make you feel better for long," Murmurs of agreement rang throughout the bond.
" One of us should still keep an eye on the egg in the shallows," Bruce clutched a piece of metal in pitch-black claws, gills flaring as he swam underneath an egg floating upside-down on the ocean's surface. "Maybe they're just late bloomers?"
"...Maybe?"
"I guess it's possible,"
"Not likely,"
"Tch, if it's already rotten getting our hopes up is pointless," Damian added to the chorus of replies.
"Try saying that when we have new baby siblings swimming around," Dick beamed.
"I will not because it isn't going to happen," His youngest argued pointedly.
"Awwwww, someone's worried they won't be the guppy of the family anymore!" Dick cooed much to Damian's dismay and everyone else's entertainment.
"I am not!" Damian snapped his voice louder than Dick's despite him being the farthest from the impact zone. "If anything I'd be glad someone else would be the victim of you people's constant smothering!" Damian spat, his words lacking any true venom.
"Whatever you say kiddo,"
"Shut up Grayson!" Laughter rang out through the bond followed by teasing and cooing. A reminder that despite everything Bruce still had living children and he hoped it would stay that way long after he passed.
( @avelnfear @meira-3919 @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @hugsandchaos @blep-23 @zeldomnyo @bytheoldwillowtree @justwannabecat @shepherdsheart @starlightcat04 @stargazing-bookwyrm @pupstim )
#I always hated how we can't salvage all of the wrecks#I understand it in the “It's a video game you can't destroy the map” sense#but what do you mean we can't pick up the supply crates??#What do you mean we have to leave who knows how much plastic and man made materials in the ocean???#We can turn fish into fuel#Turn a battery a wiring kit and a single piece of titanium into something that can warp gravity#I refuse to believe recycling is where the line of possibility ends#dpxdc#DPXDC#dcxdp#I don't know who still want's to be tagged?#tw character death#minor character death#subnautica au
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why the fuck are people on Twitter upset about nonbinary robots. Transformers are aliens, why would they follow another species gender binary based on reproduction when they don't even reproduce sexually. If anything, ALL the robots should use they/them.
#liz blogs#transformers#i need to finish earthspark#conservatives won't survive when aliens come to earth#imagine going to another planet and trying to translate pronouns#but either theres more than two or theyre not based on reproduction#how do you figure out if youre a glerp or a blongo or a dee when you dont even have a yundle#and guess what else. if the robots all have one gender. and they use different Earth Pronouns#that dont line up with - in conservative terms - the pronouns they Should have#guess what. all the robots are trans now.#this is probably fucking incoherent i just woke up but man i hate when people think the universe revolves around humans#smash the gender binary to pieces#i write this from an angle to shit on their stupid argument i know nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns as well#the point is its hard to translate. frankly we also deserve big macho bots picking she her because it sounds nice#and little femmebots picking he him because it sounds cool and they want to seem Tough in earth terms#hasbro hire me i love robots and I'll write a transformers show so good it'll make conservatives literally explode
347 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.
#two fairly recent examples jump to mind#last year my class did a secret santa#the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips#i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust#and adult who Gets It#and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas#recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now#so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them#so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift#bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff#and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa#a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons#i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL#so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room#and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship#but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment#idk#i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery#vent
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
ideas: i didn't really think of him being underwater but they deserve to have drama by crying there too so i just think you could say something about the composition being denser than water or w/e. proteins
i'm always like good thing he didn't try to exit asap via swimming in ciao alberto But What If He Did lol. just swim Somewhere else along the coast, maybe panic about [money??] & whether somehow this ruins school for luca, whether he can get in touch w/o it being On Sight b/w him & all marcovaldos, consider just kind of trying out other places, traveling after all...fascinating considering the other povs on the issue like: now there's the paguros to sympathize w/a kid vanishing, luca however in a somewhat more novel position there, giulia's throwback to alberto being a bit perplexing lmao, kind of thinking the best massimo could do is have a prewritten letter for luca to give to alberto If Possible, conveying something like i know you didn't set my livelihood on fire on purpose but even if you did i'd want you to stay. and luca in a position to do all of "maybe give the island fun facts so someone can check if he's there" & "wait & hope alberto can/does get in touch" & "have a lot of feelings"....not even the context of what this drawing is about necessarily, just tacking it on here anyways. ahead of time i went "heh now i Know they're gonna have it get little Real here b/c it's really about alberto wanting the security of feeling he can 'earn' a sustained relationship" then the short cleared & i was lying completely dead on the pavement
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#love when like ''yeah ofc you Could guess approx what would happen; b/c of The Themes & things following them''#but then like of course it still manages to Surprise. feels apt when like ppl doing some savvy media analysis can Guess along w/the film#like oh we're gonna fight here we might have our secret revealed here yep. then get caught off guard by alberto but 110% surprised by luca#even as ofc it all makes sense & is cohesive w/those Themes that have been unfolding; not just breaking w/the material to Surprise us#but still unpredictable. the whole movie being so vignettey (god bless. i live) allowing for a lot of that too like just Stuff Can Happen#someone can guess alberto's dad is not in the picture really but you could think oh he's been killed by humans. No lol...#or massimo lost an arm to sea monsters. but no. oh my god & this is how i realize i didn't draw alberto's arm scar hang on lol#okay there it is. here we go gays (me turning in for some rest at 8:15 am)#oh i read this picture book in the internet archive abt like A Parent Expressing Unconditional Love via conversation w/a child. hang on#''even if i did something awful'' by barbara shook hazen; i did think of it here. let me obtain a quote for effect...#[but what if i did something really truly awful?] [like what?] [like playing ball in the living room after you told me not to & breaking#the vase daddy gave you for your birthday even if i didn't mean to & it was an accident? would you still love me then?]#[i love you so much i'd love you if you Did mean to & it wasn't an accident. / but i might also be mad & yell things like 'i've told you a#thousand times!' & 'this is the last straw!' & 'i've had it with your disobeying!' & send you to your room with no dessert... / ...& cry a#little & pick up the pieces.] [i'll help.] [but i still love you no matter what; no matter how mad; no matter how awful. & i always will.]#so long as it's commitment to Actual support which; massimo already On That even before realizing like oh bereft And you're of the sea.....
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
man
#i do wonder if my parents actually love me or if they love the idea of what i could have been#i want to hug child me and tell them it'll be okay that we're still alive#you went through so much you were so hurt and so misunderstood#nobody knew what to do with you#and now we have to pick up the pieces of you and hope for the best that we can keep the grown up version of us alive#you didn't deserve any of this little one#how could you tell a small child they were an attention-seeking manipulator for being in pain#how could you blame hallucinations on being *gifted*#and how could you ruin our two tries at therapy with saying we appeared perfectly normal to them#weve had extreme documented mood swings since we could walk how could you think we were just gifted don't you know this ignorance is a curs#i don't know what you did wrong but all three of your kids expressed suicidal ideation by age 8 despite doing your best#how could you try your best and still *fail*#why do i have to pick up the pieces of a child forcibly infantilised yet forced to grow up so fast#why isn't our suffering acknowledged#how did you make us so scared to inconvenience anyone how did you convince us we don't deserve medical care because were not ill#how did you convince us we don't need stuff yet make us yearn for physical objects#how did you make us feel so irredeemably evil for simply existing
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's been a hot sec since i've talked about cyberpunk and i was initially working on a fic that would tell the story of this whole thing, but i've abandoned it many months ago and cannot say when i'll be picking it up again SO! i've decided to instead make this timeline. sorry in advance for how much information is in this thing the cyberpunk extended blorboverse essentially refers to the story parallel to the in-game events of cyberpunk 2077 that @mojaves and i came up with. we don't really have a better name for it but at this point the term has been used so many times that i feel like everyone here knows what it is by now, but at the same time we've never really explained the full scope of what the story is by now (it's a lot sorry). so in an attempt to get you guys a little bit more up to date with it all, here's a semi coherent timeline that describes the core events of the story and every branching story that came out of it! for additional background information, you can check out the following posts (timeline 1 / timeline 2 / timeline 3) to catch up with the continuation of the in-game storyline that's referenced in this timeline, but it's mostly irrelevant to everything here save for a couple of referenced events that cross over between the stories. it all ties together very intricately sorry about that. don't worry too much about it i've included my taglist down below to make sure people who are interested won't miss this post, but feel free to skip over this if it's not your thing! won't be doing a lot of this kind of stuff in the future but i'm trying to get back to the cyberpunk roots so this is kind of like, a good starting point and reference point for later posts!
The story starts in early 2077 and is centered around Sebastian Vidal, gang leader of the Cobras and previous test subject of Arasaka Special Programs (the linked page is a lot of information but gives the most coherent overview of what the branch actually is). The current director of the SERPENT projects, Andrew Colton, and Dr. Alana Cartier, both want him dead, to tie up their last loose end before the rest of Arasaka can find out and shut down Special Programs once and for all.
Over the past months they’ve been hiring various assassins in secret, to try and get Seb killed; however, these assassins keep failing, and their latest attempt lies in the hands of Cassidy Shaffer, an ex-corpo turned assassin with a strong moral code and plenty of experience to his name. With little to work with, as his mysterious client doesn’t give out much information, Cassidy starts with what he thinks is gonna be a quick and easy job– but he ends up hunting after Seb for essentially a year.
During this year, the two men have a series of wild encounters that get more and more insane the longer it goes on; it includes, but is unfortunately not limited to, Cassidy biting off a chunk of Seb’s ear, the two of them running over the highway, the two of them getting handcuffed together and chased by the NCPD then hit by a car right in front of the hospital, and Seb sensually licking blood off Cassidy’s face after having stabbed him when Cassidy wanted to strike at a concert Seb is visiting.
All of it comes to a sudden stop when Cassidy learns his client has been lying to him the whole time, and since he does not appreciate lying clients he ends up jumping sides and teams up with the Cobras to do some cleanup duty in Arasaka Special Programs. He and Seb work together to go after a list of targets to get the still ongoing projects mostly to a halt, while remaining in the shadows themselves as to not draw too much attention their way; and during this collaboration they meet several people from their past, bringing back both good and bad memories.
One of these people is Hanan Chisaka, the Head of Security at Special Programs. She ends up becoming the next test subject of Project Cobra after the last successful subjects, Xavier and Gabriel Mason, end up escaping in the midst of the chaos of Hanako Arasaka’s capture in mid-2077. Once Seb’s best friend and Cassidy’s mentor, she’s now forced to hunt the both of them down; but in their final confrontation she snaps out of the controlled mode Arasaka keeps her in and runs away with them, effectively leaving Special Programs without any test subjects. Another one of these people is Reid Bennett, Cassidy’s ex and ex-coworker back at MaxTac. He still works for the corporation and has been on an ongoing investigation into Arasaka Special Programs; seeing Cassidy alive and well, working together with Seb no less, piques his interest and he continues to look further into the case, which will cause him to make a very big mistake later on in the timeline.
By September 2078, Seb and Cassidy have successfully taken down all their planned targets and retreat back into the shadows, leaving Special Programs with many losses and no test subjects. With the APEX program discontinued a month earlier (incident discussed in this fic, which is a continuation of the in-game events), and Hanako Arasaka recovered and ready to take the corporation back from the hands of her corrupt brother, Special Programs ends up having to retreat for the time being, and cook up a new plan in the background.
Special Programs by this point is run by Andrew Colton, Alana Cartier, and Kaida Akiyama, three players who have been in the game for a long time already in the SERPENT projects’ runtime. Colton and Cartier are married– Cartier used to be married to Seb and cheated on him for a good amount of time when he was still at Arasaka– but their marriage is starting to fall apart. Akiyama has had to watch over Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne for a while during his chase after the Mason twins, which ended up with the twins dead and Hawthorne going into early retirement (Arasaka doesn’t know the twins faked their death and Ambrose is now dating one of them lol), and xe is now determined to help Colton and Cartier get Seb back into Arasaka so the projects can continue.
Cassidy’s initial plan was to leave as soon as the collaboration would come to an end, but he has found his place with the Cobras and instead ends up officially joining them.The next chapter in the story is a more laid-back and easygoing chapter, in which Cassidy learns to be part of real life again, and in which Seb learns to let people get close to him again after spending years trying to convince himself he doesn’t need any help. Over the course of a little over a year (all the way to November 2079), the two grow even closer than they had already done, going on gigs together and, you guessed it, slowly but surely falling in love until they inevitably end up together at the end of it.
Not long after the two get together, Reid returns into Cassidy’s life. He wants to try and be friends again and Cassidy gives him a second chance, though this soon enough turns out to have been a mistake, with Reid trying to create distance between Seb and Cassidy and then going as far as trying to sell Cassidy to Kang Tao (one of the few corporations that have been hunting Cassidy down for a while now) in exchange for his own freedom from MaxTac (where he would have otherwise been stuck at for probably the rest of his life). Naturally, Reid can’t watch Cassidy get tortured for long and leaks his location to the Cobras, who find and free Cassidy and take Reid into captivity instead– he does not get killed, but instead has to sit out some time at a safehouse somewhere in solitude, where he gets to decide what kind of person he wants to be in the future.
This brings us to Elysium; a gorgeous spaceship which was supposed to be a relatively cheap escape from reality for everyone who wanted a refreshing break from Earth, but through Arasaka sponsorship has become just another cash-grab project to compete with the Crystal Palace– and considering the megacorporation has its greasy hands all over it, the secret labs in the spaceship are used for a series of very unethical experiments. Naturally so, it would be the perfect place for Colton to continue his SERPENT projects without the risk of Hanako Arasaka finding out and shutting the place down. He sends forces up to Elysium (obviously after his other attempts at relocating the project to space have failed tremendously, having lost contact with every single crew in the smaller Arasaka stations in orbit around the planet), but since he’s not there himself his cousin (one of the CEOs of Elysium), Maxwell Crane, unbeknownst to Colton, takes control of the SERPENT projects in space instead. From the earlier linked Special Programs page: “Project Eryx used the technology of previous projects, but took a completely new approach in the hosts it used; rather than focusing on the human psyche it attempted to create a new type of cyborg which would lack the humanity that caused previous projects to fail. The Cobra chips were no longer used and the software was instead installed directly onto the host’s mainframe. The flexibility of the new hosts– more robot than human, and in some cases the entire human aspect was lacking altogether– allowed for experimentation with highly advanced cybernetic enhancements and military grade tech and upgrades, turning the test subjects– dubbed ‘prototypes’– into dangerous, unstoppable killing machines.”
Things settle down for Seb and Cassidy, but this moment of peace does not last long. In January 2081 the two find themselves traveling to the spaceship Elysium, to investigate a curious situation in the laboratories– they’ve been hired by Arasaka without their knowledge and it’s a setup to get Cassidy killed and Seb back in Cartier’s control.
While in space, they learn that the secret labs have suffered an outbreak of the above mentioned prototypes. They quickly connect the dots and realize Special Programs is back in the game, and they work together with security guards Aubrey Valentine and Leon dello Russo to try and fix the situation before it gets out of hand. Obviously this fails tremendously and Elysium ends up on a complete lockdown after a ship-wide outbreak, which is eventually contained in late March of that year, with CEO Maxwell Crane dead, leaving only his wife Kinsley Osborn behind.
Elysium continues to exist and is rebuilt after the crisis, and Kinsley Osborn can now finally turn it into the retreat it was always meant to be. Previously, most Elysium employees were to be stuck in space for the rest of their lives; however, with Arasaka out of the picture they are free to leave as they please, which results in a gigantic cut in total employee count in the months that follow.
Seb and Cassidy return to Night City and take Aubrey and Leon with them. Aubrey reunites with his sisters; Becca, James, and Rikki, and soon after his return to the city he opens an LGBTQ+ nightclub called Bodytalk with them, found Downtown, City Center, in June 2081. Not only is it a fun place to hang out at, it’s also his main hub as a fixer, and he starts a collaboration with the Cobras to get business going between the gang and the club; and soon enough it grows into a large and powerful network of connections, which is the foundation on which the rest of the stories are built.
After this point in time, many many more things happen but it would take me another hour or ten to go into full detail of all of that, so instead here’s a quick rundown of some of the other things that Bodytalk gets involved in:
Reid Bennett is handed over to Aubrey and he starts working at the club, and he becomes a very valued employee as well as a good friend to many now that he’s no longer fucking insane
Kaida Akiyama returns from Elysium and shows up to Hanan’s doorstep, to ask for her help with getting out of Arasaka for good; much later on, xe starts working for Bodytalk as well, in an attempt to put xyr past behind xem and become a better person
Urban Dynamite starts performing at the club regularly, and it becomes their home base
Luna Serratos, Cassidy’s ripperdoc friend from all the way back to killing era, gets involved in the Harbinger case from Maelstrom (one of the gang’s most feared members); turns out the Harbinger is in fact Reuben de la Rosa, a by then 22-year-old kid who has ended up in Luna’s care with his friend Noah Telavera after the two got caught up in an explosion. She requests the Cobras’ help with getting Maelstrom to let Reuben go
Officer Michele Diaz from Militech (who used to be Cassidy’s boss) is demoted following the lawsuits after the Elysium incident, and her investigation into the incident in hopes to get her job back leads her to Bodytalk; she begins threatening them and sends the whole club and their allies into uncertain times
Many people get married. There’s so many fucking guys here we went a little insane with the numbers but there’s several weddings and there’s a whole polycule going on too feel free to send asks about this if you’re interested
Cobra Cybernetics releases a new line of cyberware, which is incredibly buggy and dangerous to the public; it’s brought to the club’s attention and it makes them realize that Luiza Vidal (Seb’s sister), who not that long ago asked them to kill her husband (William Colton (Andrew’s brother), CEO of Cobra Cybernetics), has gone missing; they now need to get involved without getting the news out that they actually didn’t kill William and that he is still alive somewhere, while also balancing out dynamics between Biotechnica (angry at Cobra Cybernetics for stealing their designs) and Arasaka (the actual reason why Cobra Cybernetics’ designs look like Biotechnica’s designs, because William stole designs from Special Programs after halting their partnership after the Elysium incident, but these designs had been stolen by Arthur Jenkins from Biotechnica even BEFORE that to be able to hijack the European Space Council’s cybernetics following the Frankfurt incident. Are you still with me)
Vitali Dobrynin (fixer and main character from the in-game events storyline and the continuation of it; Vincent “V” Mayer’s boyfriend) ends up visiting Bodytalk after meeting Aubrey at a Fixer Council meeting, which happens in late 2083; this essentially ties the two main storylines together, which means that yes, a lot of the characters from the two separate storylines end up meeting :]
Officer Ulysses Dimakos (used to work with Reid at MaxTac) is sent to investigate Bodytalk following the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and ends up teaming up with the club to get MaxTac on a dead trail in exchange for his freedom of the corporation
On top of the Bodytalk / Cobras centered storyline, there’s a couple of side stories that are still connected to the whole thing but are more of a standalone thing with only a few touching points to the rest of it all:
This obviously takes place a lot earlier because it’s already mentioned above, but Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne is tasked with chasing after the escaped Mason twins; naturally he lets them go and ends up going into retirement, and Xavier Mason later on ends up becoming Bodytalk’s part-time repair guy on account of knowing Kaida
Gabriel Mason ends up in a car crash with retired security specialist Ames Ortega, who was also in Elysium during the incidents there, and the two end up babysitting Ambrose and Xavier’s kids together while those two are helping Hanan with getting Kaida out of Arasaka (Are you still with me. Blink if you can hear me)
Mercenary Frankie Sayyad gets a promotion from his fixer, Vulture (real name Diana Crane, Maxwell Crane’s older sister and cousin of the Coltons), and becomes one of her Bloodhounds; he works together with Evelyn Harris, Nimue Nkuna, and Beckett Rydel, the latter being one of the very first test subjects of Arasaka Special Programs, and the four accidentally get themselves mixed into a mystery concerning their secretive fixer
Caleb Harris, ex-security at Biotechnica, ends up back at Club Bodytalk not long after the conclusion of the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and starts working for Aubrey; he is partnered up with Ramiel Al-Masri, a mercenary who has been working for Vitali Dobrynin for a while and has recently joined Aubrey’s mercenary roster too, and together they dive into a series of gigs neither of them had expected
Journalist Bodhi Shankar has finally found more evidence and information surrounding the mysterious cult gang Umbra and its so-called Prophet, Thiago Salazar; however, his antics have led to him accidentally becoming part of the gang himself, and he has to figure out a way to get Thiago to stop listening to the supposed deity that the gang worships known as Scintilla, before she makes him do things that will get many people killed
taglist (opt in/out)
@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;
@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;
@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;
@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @aemondtargeryen, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian;
@estevnys, @elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa
#nuclearwriting#timeline tag#this is really lengthy so again if you don't wanna go through all that i can respect that WBHSNGJFDHGDFJG just wanted to like#show that no i am NOT dead i have in fact been yelling about my ocs basically every single day since the last piece of writing i posted#but it's all in intricate rituals between me and my bf that as you can see results into. so much information. that's only barely coherent#i could go into entirely more detail is the thing. i could very easily go into entirely more detail because you see#we have encounters written out for killing era. all encounters. they're all there#we have separate timelines for the bigger events like the elysium arc and the maelstrom arc and the militech arc#the whole thing with cobra cybernetics is a buildup that dates back all the way to fucking 2072 and then happens in 2083/84#the colton/crane family dynamics are a whole bookwork of information on its own#then there's the whole polycule that's gotten. a little out of hand i'll admit but it's COHERENT i made a VISUAL for it#there's years worth of history between SO many of these characters that can all be analyzed and picked apart personally#there's the whole side stories going on with ambrose and the mason twins and the bloodhounds and umbra#the whole elysium incident on its own is a horror freakshow that would do numbers on here. i'm telling you#BASICALLY WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING#PLEASE COME INTO MY INBOX OR IN ANDY'S INBOX WE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF#THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF OCS FOR IT AND WE'RE STILL MAKING MORE#ELYSIUM HAS A WHOLE CREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MADE UP A WHOLE CREW FOR ITTBHGFJNBHGJKSDGDSNGJDSG#I'M NORMAL
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
one video has completely turned my view of night mind around. I'm not a huge fan of night mind, I'm a fan of horror and mystery. but I'm not smart, so i watch explanation videos so I'm sure I understood 100% of the plot. Night Mind did a great job of this- mostly- with Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and things like this house has ppl in it, so I've started looking into his videos for more. Things like Chainmail Chasers, POSTcontent, Rapid Eyes, they were all fine videos from him, treated fair and explained well- praise and criticism where it was due. But it's videos like his "case file" or whatever he calls it on the series "JustAcquaintances" that pisses me off. When he started laughing at them in part 2 I couldn't keep watching. It's rude, it's pointless, it's mockery. No explanation or defense at the end of the video can make up for that. JustAcquaintances is what most arg/found footage fans want to be. A fun homemade series with friends, something made with passion and genuine interest- not professional and trained. Marble Hornets is good found footage because it's professional, they knew what they were doing and planned every step months or years ahead. If I'm not wrong, some members of Marble Hornets were in school working on film/acting. Either way, it's professional. JustAcquaintances is an example of well preformed fanwork in the best way possible. Their acting is amazing, a bunch of stupid guys looking for trouble end up in deep shit with the paranormal and a cult. The police, real or fake, time and time again leave them in either deeper shit or the same as before. Now people are dying, being kidnapped, stalking, beating, torturing our protagonist. It's good. It's a good series. It's what I want every found footage fan to create, i want a dozen million fans to go out with their ideas and do this. Because I don't expect every series to be another EverymanHYBRID. I don't want another Marble Hornets. I want raw passion of creativity woven from horrific inspiration. And I've seen the Slenderverse/yt horror community. They are critics, expecting the best, expecting all of the creators effort into these series'. But these are free. They are on Youtube, somewhere that's very famous for not giving creative- esp horror related- projects the attention and monetization they deserve. These are projects filmed by humans for the sake of letting their dark little project out of their heads and onto your screen. They deserve praise, they deserve your attention, they deserve your patience, and they deserve your criticism NICELY. THEY DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH BY THESE VIDEOS FOR YOUR SPONSERED, MONITETIZED, WELL RECEAVED VIDEO TO LAUGH AT THEM. THEY DESERVE TO BE PRAISED FOR THAT SCEEN REALLY, IT LOOKS AND SOUNDS LIKE HE'S REALLY BEING BEATEN BY A BAT, THEY AREN'T HITTING HIM IN THE HEAD OR SPINE, THEY AREN'T HITTING ALL TO HARD, THEY'RE BEATING HIM FOR THE SAKE OF BEATING HIM. AND IT'S WELL PREFORMED. HE'S CONFUSED, HE'S TRYING TO PROTECT HIMSELF AGAINST SOMEONE HE KNOWS KIDNAPPED AND HURT HIS BROTHER. HE'S SCARED. HE ISN'T FIGHTING BACK BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S ALONE, DEFENSLESS. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR LAUGHTER. Even if poorly acted, he is on the floor, rolling in dirt, with bugs and germs in a public area, crying and whining, all for your entertainment. Not for money, for you- a supposed fan of found footage- to enjoy his act. He's willing to roll and scream in public, in the dirt, for you to laugh at him. It seems unfair, to do all this and expect nothing in return. JustAcquaintances is a good series, it's not hollywood, it's not professional, but it's exactly the passion I want to see every artist put into their work. It's what I want from anybody that's been inspired by horror or found footage, it's art and I wouldn't ever want them to change it. I'd want them to learn from it. Take what they've created and keep creating- just for the sake of creation. Criticism is necessary for art to prosper, but criticism isn't an hour and a half of copy and pasted footage occasionally interrupted by laughter or high expectations.
#rant post#JustAcquaintances#don't @ me I'm not an avid Night Mind fan I'm just pissed abt this one video#why is he allowed to take an entire series and piece it together how he sees important#both part 1 and 2 are 90% JustAcquaintances videos 10% his commentary#plus I noticed with series like Marble Hornets or EverymanHYBRID he stops multiple times to tell you to watch it yourself first#but here he only says it like once at the beginning of the 1st part#and in part 2 he tells you to redirect to the 1st part without mentioning the series channel at all#just rewatched the beginning of part 1 and he actually doesn't at all say 'go watch this then come back to my video'#these videos are straight up cut outs of what he thinks is 'important' to this series.#its stolen. its no better than what Alantutorials- a diffrent series Night Mind has made a video on- is supposed to be a metaphor of!#Night Mind stole JustAcquaintances' videos and picked them apart to make money off of while just making it different enough that you can#call it 'his work'#what work is this Night Mind? what mockery in this video deserves that sneaky little sponsor in the desription?#picking on and laughing at unprofessionals trying their best?#sorry for ranting im tired and sick of ppl having high standards for FREE ART#FREE UNDERLINED 6 TIMES.#YOU GET TO WATCH THEIR WORK#THAT THEY PUT THEIR TIME AND EFFORT INTO#FOR FREE.#YOU DO NOT GET TO LAUGH AT A MAN CRYING INTO THE DIRT AND RUNNING AROUND AN ACTUAL GRAVEYARD AT NIGHT FOR FREE. HE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT.#watch JustAcquaintances and show it some love please#its not perfect but its art so who are we to say it isn't#ALSO I PERSONALLY HAVE NOT WATCHED ALL OF IT YET!!! IM JUST DEFENDING ART AND THE HORROR COMMUNITY!!!#IF THERES SOME FUCKED SHIT AT THE END I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like I’ve lived through at least a month just in the past 3 days. I checked the date just now and damn near had an out of body experience when I realised Monday was only two days ago
#bro the absolute sodding emotional rollercoaster i have been through this past week should be studied by scientists#thursday: unsuccessful job interview. friday: found out that the job interview was unsuccessful. but one of the interviewers (actually a#former colleague of mine lol) gave me a piece of feedback that made me feel like i’d cracked the code for all future interviews#it was this: keep. talking. give as many details as humanly fucking possible. talk about policy. drop in words like safeguarding#list as many examples of stuff as you can. tell stories. bamboozle them#OH i forgot to even fucking mention we had builders at our house until friday. friday was the last day they woke me up with a cacophony#so the weekend was uneventful aside from there was a skip in the driveway and scaffolding all down the side of the house but zero men#monday: successful interview. found out it was successful 5 hours later. got off the phone having accepted the job…… and found a text from#my old boss (the boss i had at the job i really enjoyed. that old boss) inviting me to come back this summer#i had a bit of a mental breakdown but eventually decided to stick with the job i’d just got because it’s a permanent contract and they will#let me sit down#yesterday: found out that the foster doggy i applied for and really wanted is going to her forever home on thursday (which is now tomorrow)#obviously i love this for her but i was like ‘damn. okay’#today: the foster co-ordinator was like ‘hey do you want to foster this rambunctious 3 year old unneutered terrier?’#i was like ‘sure yeah what the fuck. that might as well happen’#(they are neutering him beforehand. and he looks really cute. he’s not aggressive he’s just a young terrier with like 3 brain cells)#unless something finally kills me in the meantime i’m picking him up on monday. i cancelled therapy in order to do this. yes i’m well aware#that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but it’s fine. i rescheduled therapy#i also have realised i do not know how and when i’m going to get my ssri prescription renewed… i know the pharmacy will call me in a couple#of weeks to make sure i haven’t died. but i think i was supposed to get a prescription renewal at therapy#the therapy i won’t be going to until like 5 days after my prescription runs out. that therapy. foook#honestly withdrawal symptoms would probably just spice up the situation at this point. they’d just make things interesting#i swear to god everything always gets crazy and stupid right before my birthday… remember when i turned 26 and couldn’t drink because i#was on antibiotics for a kidney infection. and when i turned 27 and one of my wisdom teeth tried to emerge#this is like that except with dogs and jobs. at least the skip and the scaffolding are gone now#i AM trying to sell a sofa on facebook marketplace so wish me luck with that ig#personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am going to my paternal grandmother's memorial this weekend.
Which means I'm going to have to put up with my paternal uncles.
The same uncles that have refused to include my Mom in anything to do with it because she's not considered a "real" sibling and my Dad is dead so fuck her, I guess?
I'm pretty sure in the last year of my grandma's life, my Mom saw her more than my uncles did in the past five years or more. When Grandma was in the hospital, guess who rushed to get there instead of waiting a week or two? Guess who was there for Grandma's last few days? Guess who loved Grandma as deeply as any child could and who, along with dealing with the death of another mother (because that's how she thought of Grandma), has to deal with the fact that the last major familial tie she has to her deceased husband (that isn't us) is now gone and she's mourning not just Grandma but my Dad all over again?
Fucking guess.
Anywaaaaay, they just sent out an email talking about letting the grandkids pick out any stuff they want of Grandma's before the memorial.
There was no mention of when my Mom would get to be able to pick out her own stuff.
So I sent out the most aggressive passive aggressive email that I possibly could to inquire as to why my Mom wasn't a part of this because, surely, they wouldn't be disrespectful enough to imply that my Mom, their sister-in-law and their mother's daughter-in-law, is a grandkid and thus shouldn't she be allowed to pick out some things of sentimental value?
To which he replies that, oh, he thought that he already knew everything she wanted (he had never asked her if she wanted anything other than a few very specific things). So, when we get there, we can talk to some other uncles that aren't him (thank fuck) and she can choose "something different". Let that specific phrasing sink in for a minute...
Surely, Geeky, he didn't actually imply that if she wanted something she had to put back something she'd already picked out? Surely he isn't a ghoul shaped like a human being who got annoyed that Grandma was leaving money to her grandkids and her daughter-in-law? Surely he wouldn't ignore the book that Grandma had painstakingly put together of things she wanted people to have just because it wasn't notorized and his kids weren't in it enough? Surely he would never do such things!
Yeah. So fuck him.
So I replied back, thanking him for the clarification, and then basically said "I'm so happy that you've been treating my Mom so kindly throughout this while process. I'm sure it would make my Dad really happy that you were treating her like close family."
(Mr. Geeky, when I told him: "That's not exactly subtle." To which I replied, "Good, it wasn't supposed to be.")
Listen, to keep the family peace for this memorial I might not be able to just say to your face that you're a sorry excuse for a human being and I think you deserve a kick in the balls. But I want you to *know* that that is exactly what I think of you, you piece of shit wearing a human suit.
#geeky talks#i honestly don't care for myself#i'm pretty divorced from the uncles on that side of the family#so i don't give a fuck what you do with grandma's stuff#i already have some gorgeous artwork#if i can have more of that that's awesome#but otherwise i give no fucks#but the sheer amount of disrespect and casual cruelty they have shown my mom#no sir that i will not let stand#we will be arriving early at the death yard sale#(where we grandkids will scavenge through the detritus of my grandma's life#looking for anything with sentimental value that wasn't already scooped up by the claws of my uncles)#and my mom will be going in#and she will be picking out the pieces that have meaning for her#and i will fucking END any fucking relative that gets in my way
4 notes
·
View notes