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myrammmortal · 10 months ago

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Chapter 32, Tom Bombadil was a mistake! His parents said so!

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

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“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Paul Landers da new student.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

“Da name’s Tom.” he said. “But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam”

We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go upstairs.” Satan said. I followed him. “Hey Satan……..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?” (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Satan gasped. “actually I like gc a lot too.”(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)

“omg me too!” I replied happily.

“guess what they have a concert in hogsment.” satan whispered.

“hogsment?” I asked.

“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000.” he told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Hot-“

‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. “noo its called Hot Ishoo.” He smiled skrtvli again. “then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic.” he moaned.

“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is Daddy Till your princepill?” I shouted.

“uh-huh.” he looked at his black nails. “im in slitherin’”

“OMfG SHME TOO!” I SHRIEDKED.

“u go to this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly Daddy Till flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”

satan rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re in slytherine and we’re not preps.”

I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord.”

“wtf?” he asked angrily.

“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”

“hey where r u goin?” satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry’s classroom. Daddy Till wuz dere. “Daddy I think I just met u.” I said.

“oh yeah I rememba that.” Daddy Till said, trying to be all goffik.

sinister came in. “hey dis is my classroom wait wtf Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers what da hell r u doing?” ”um.” I looked at her.

“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”

“wth how?” I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

professor sinster looked sad. “um I was drinking voldemortserum.” she started to cry black tears of depression. Daddy Till didn’t know about them.

“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

“fuck off!” we both said and Daddy Till took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg Paul Darkness Omnipotential Great Mal Landers…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum.”

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112

#wait what now?#what timeline are we in?#did volmedormedormydolt also timetravel?#what the fuck is going on!?#my rammmortal #rammstein #christoph schneider #fanfic #flake lorenz #oliver riedel #paul landers #rammstein fanfic #richard kruspe #till lindemann

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mearchy · 3 months ago

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my favorite genre of fictional character is like "i am terrifying to almost everyone, i'm very good at killing, i can endure anything, i've become exceptionally good at playing into my reputation, and if you try to give me positive social interaction i will react with confusion and cower in a corner like an abused animal. and i may try to shoot you. but there is also a chance i may imprint on you like a feral dog receiving its first loving touch! good luck."

#big tough characters who are confused and disarmed by affection my beloved #who are hypercompetent and know exactly what to do in everything except Positive Human Interaction #who follow you around cautiously for scraps #and are continually waiting for the moment you turn around and kick them out again #who are prepared to sleep on the cold hard floor and dont know what to do with themselves when given a bed #totally mystified #boba fett #legacy of the force #din djarin #frank castle #maul #erik lehnsherr #arla fett #wolverine #logan howlett #mine #and now i can add the #murderbot #tag

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 10 months ago

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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

#and hijinks ensue. obviously.#BONUS POINTS if they're gender nonconforming/questioning/trans coded #back at home they'd get dressed up then switch outfits in the taxi on the way to the gay club #now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want #he already has a glamorous collection of silk dressing gowns but she's the one who drags him out to buy a closet full of evening gowns #he tries to throw his suits out to make closet space and she steals them for her own wardrobe #also i think they should be a fun mixture of supportive and Cattily Judgemental about each other's dating decisions #just for funsies #like when your bestie is making a mess of their love life but you're in no position to lecture them bc youre WORSE #no wait wait wait #FINAL SEASON they both realize they're trans and move abroad permanently--where they each assume the other's legal identity!!!#SERIES FINALE: a joyful double wedding--wherein they lovingly divorce each other #and (under their switched identities) legally marry their longterm partners

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lemongogo · 5 months ago

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life of regret

#fiddleford mcgucket #fiddleford #gravity falls #my art #no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD #THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance #and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month #it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up #i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished #but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light #and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy #i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like #math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out #editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me #if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-

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malignedaffairs · 2 months ago

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Started an illustrated lore book. Wish me luck for keeping it up <3

#elden ring #my own work #i want it to become something even a person who never played the game can look at and at least get the gist of what's going on #time to carry the elden ring agenda to the nonbelievers <333 #can't wait to get to morgott's part so i can draw a whole morgott centerfold haha #anyway i only want to do the main game for now but maybe i bit off more than i can chew #it's great fun for now though

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keferon · 4 months ago

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Snow bots au anyone? :D

They're back together a year later because it's snowing again❄️

All right! For context: I imagine them hanging out every winter in some kind of resort (a resort that Blurr owns. Because his bar business has expanded that much over time.)

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swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual · 5 months ago

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We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.

We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.

All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom crossover #listen I’m just SAYING #my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair #Danny isn’t even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum #I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot #but honestly I just think it’d be a fun little setup #Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes #hi we’re the council of the dead. we’ve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty #*extended life warranty or what have you #Danny hasn’t even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it #yeah hi… uh. Batman sir. if that’s your preferred moniker?#right so we’re basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you aren’t dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep you’re. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv #it’s the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there #(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)

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egophiliac · 6 months ago

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doylist explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: probably something about space constraints and making sure two sprites in one seat aren't covering anyone else when they're not in focus

watsonian explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: he snuck in and is hiding from the teachers, don't give him away 🤫

(I've reached my limit of unsuccessful attempts at pulling them before I need to save keys for Halloween, so I've been living vicariously through youtube videos...but the fact that Gidel just pops up from under the desk to wave his arms around happily is really testing my resolve. D: I'm gonna die when they finally get to do alchemy...)