#wait cos i kinda love this character
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not a full on blurb request just a little question, can we know what would bunny be like if she was pogue?
oh she’s getting money regardless so she’d probably be a stripper in some cutesie little strip bar in the run down part of town, covered in body glitter wearing pleasers and cute trashy halloween outfits on her stage everyday……. gives herself maxine-like speeches in the mirror everyday like “you’re gonna get out of here n be rich n’famous. you’re a star.” and leaves her kiss print on the mirror. she’s the youngest girl at her strip club and she doesn’t care. faces a lot of bitterness from maybe the older more experienced girls but it doesn’t bother her, honestly she doesn’t even realise when they’re being condescending.
her locals always invite her to parties because she’s just as ditsy irl, always wearing skirts too short and having her tits on display in her little tops. she’s jj’s favourite girl to invite to any party the pogues throw and she always ends up on his lap giving him tipsy lil kisses on the cheek leaving her gloss prints there. some guy slips a twenty dollar note in her waistband at a party outside of work one time and jj beats him bloody :/
rafe always sees her in public and gives her monologues telling her she’s better than this and that she could do better things than strip for money. he genuinely feels oddly protective over this ditsy little pogue and he doesn’t know why, perhaps because he thinks she looks so helpless and he doesn’t know how she’s made it this far unscathed. she’s totally unbothered by his rants, just nodding along with a smile before heading out for her night shift !
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One the biggest things I dont like so far with The Liar Game is that you reach a point where Akiyama no longer looks like a fucking uncanny freak in most of the panels hes in. Like they start giving him a hair over eyes look for certain panels or he looks more Pretty Boy as they turn the 2nd line under his eyes into really dramatic eyeliner
Its a tragedy.
#okay but in all seriousness I get it but also sometimes I want a guy who can be kinda pretty but mostly unsettling#like his creepass stare is his charm. if hes not giving you nightmares whats rhe point.#I love characters that look completely fine Except the eyes. like thats so funky to me.#this is mostly me nitpicking tho it. the hair thing itself is a pet peeve when not part of the characters design#it pissed me off so bad in the 2nd revival round I was so mad cos EVERY OTHER PANEL his face was just unseeable#this specific panel was the most infuriating like THATS A WHOLE CLOSEUP THE POINT OF THE PANEL WAS TO SHOWCASE HIS EXPRESSION??#other than that tho I have other bones to pick with the series bur I wanna wait until I finish to really hash out my thoughts#this is just me complaining abt smth that doesnt actually matter#liar game
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still thinking bout that ghosts finale and like look regardless whether you liked it or not, i think you have to agree that it was really fucking DUMB that alison and mike decided to move when they had a new born BABY lol
having a baby is already a stressful situation, and then you throw in The most stressful thing (moving house) into the mix i'm just like ????? that's so dumb that's so DUMB lol
#i'm honestly still just trying to process it and ... yeh i'm still disappointed lol#hte episode was just a mess which literally none of the other eps felt like pfft...#all the mike mum stuff dragged and the final revelation happened so quickly and had no real impact#even robin's speech about the meaning of xmas or whatever just kinda got lost cos i was just like ?? what ?? lol#idk...#i think i get what they were going for but in a way it reminded me of the got finale lol#like... one where it was an ending that had been planned from the start of the show#but the issue is that we've had 5 whole series since that first one#so the characters have changed since then! so it doesnt make sense to still have the same conclusion u know?#like if u loved the episode then i'm rly happy for you!!!#i just... didnt vibe with it lol#there's actually a way i wouldve liked them to end it which arguably would be even SADDER than what they went with#but... i'll maybe talk about that in another post pfft#waiting for my sis to reply to my message so i can discuss the finale w/ her
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THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, fin. — JJK (m.)
for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.
the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader
GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 43.2k idcccccc atp😭 take ur time!
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. dont read further warnings if u dont wanna be spoiled: ANGST. im aware i kinda overkilled it here but uh.. hear me out! explicit sexual content [ male mast*rbation, oral s*x (f&m receiving), making out, dry h*mping, penetr*tive s*x (protected and unprotected, missionary, cowgirl, doggy, spooning), a bit of c*mplay, jk <3 boobs, ily kink (redacted) cries during sex lol ]. FLUFFy fluff fluffff 😖 some of the scenes give very much like 2000s romcom vibes but idc sue me also theres a #merder reference ifykyk
NOTES we have finally reached the end! sorry it took me a month to get this out sjdfhd but its here and its long as fuck n im so proud of this and happy that i finished a series!! for once!!! will always love my silly tlp couple and the characters 🥹 let me know ur thoughts on my inbox oki and circulate by liking and reblogging if u enjoyed reading hihi ty ok bye enjoy reading!🫵🏼🫵🏼 [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]
[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]
A day passed since the fiasco at the villa happened and Jungkook and you have acted like total strangers since then. The rest of your friends easily took notice of it; the silence between you two on the ride to the airport, the not-so discreet way you avoided each other at the waiting area, even going as far as exchanging seats inside the plane when on any other day, you two didn’t mind being close together physically.
Jungkook knows absolutely that the avoidance is doing you both a disservice. You’re both grown adults and going to extreme lengths to ignore each other – like not even looking at the other when you bump in the hospital hallways – is a one-way ticket to your relationship’s foundations crumbling.
That thought terrified Jungkook so much that he decided to come clean tonight. Talk to you properly when his mind is cleared and there was no Mingyu to aggravate his thoughts and project actions he’s not necessarily proud of – because the fight was juvenile, he knows that. Him committing and giving in to violence is not something he wants you to see, no matter the context. You were right when you said that was not him, and Jungkook can’t have you thinking otherwise.
When he steps in front of your apartment door, he thinks if you’re already there. He isn’t entirely sure. You two haven’t seen each other at the hospital and you haven’t been texting him either. You might still be doing your rounds, he thought, but when he opens the door to your unit and trudges his feet to the living room, he catches a sight of you going out from your bedroom.
The two of you freeze upon seeing each other, but Jungkook’s surprise soon turns into confusion when he notices the carry-on luggage in your hand.
“Oh, you’re here,” You utter, filling the silence in the air. “I was just going.”
“Where?” Jungkook instantly asks, taking you both by surprise.
But you quickly recover. You give him a small smile – but what Jungkook clearly sees is a wince.
“I’m going over to my sister’s,” You must’ve seen the way Jungkook’s boring holes at your pink luggage, and so you take a glance at it momentarily, tugging on the handle to scoot it over closer to your side. You clear your throat. “I’m staying there for a while.”
Jungkook feels a certain weight drop on his shoulders, his lips parting at your declaration.
“__, i-if this is about what I said, you don’t have to leave—”
You cut him off quickly. “No. It’s not that. I just… I just need some time away.”
Even though he doesn’t like the implication, he gets you.
Blinking, he thinks what to say next. Jungkook doesn’t want to say the wrong words – he’s well aware of the fact that he's put his foot in his mouth back at the resort, and he’s not fucking up the second time around.
While he intended to talk to you tonight to address the elephant between you two, he also understands completely why you need time for yourself. It was too much. He told you a lot of things and he can’t expect you to process all of them in a single day.
So, he nods, still stricken, heart heavy when he looks at you again. “Okay.”
“Okay.” You repeat, voice a little louder than him. A pregnant pause, and you’re pulling up the handle of your luggage again, the wheels gliding on the floorboards as you begin to head towards the door to your apartment.
Jungkook doesn’t mean to sound so alarmed when he suddenly blurts out, “Now?”
He doesn’t even know why. It was the obvious. You’ve packed your things – you’re heading out. But he couldn’t stop himself. It’s like there’s a sense of fear clouding his mind the more this moment of you leaving stretches out further.
You stop on your tracks, blinking at him. “Y-yeah?”
“Oh.” Jungkook feels his hand itching to do something. Something stupid like grab your wrist gently to make you stay.
But he knows that’s futile. He doesn’t have the right to make you stay if you don’t want to in the first place.
“Seokjin’s actually coming in a few minutes,” you tell him, glancing at your phone. “My sister’s still at work, so she made him pick me up.”
Jungkook can only give you a nod.
It makes sense for your brother-in-law to come pick you up. It also makes sense for you to stay over their place considering that their apartment isn’t that far from the hospital and you won’t have a hard time commuting to work if you planned to stay there for a little while.
He wonders, though, why you aren’t staying at Doyeon’s instead… he doesn’t know if you’ve talked already, but from what it seems, you aren’t talking to the rest of your friends, either; judging by the way he hasn’t seen you together with any of them at the hospital. Taehyung had suggested that maybe you just need time, to which Doyeon and Nayeon agreed to. Jungkook can’t help but feel bad, though. You’re seemingly coming out isolated at the end of his own doing. If you’re avoiding your friends just because of him, that would be extremely unfair to you. Taehyung, Doyeon and Nayeon are just as much as your friends as they are his, and during these times, you should feel comfortable taking solace in their friendship like how he’s leaning on them currently.
Guilt washes over him at the thought. He can’t bear thinking about you hurting in the process of all of this. He just wants so badly to make it up to you, for you both to be okay again. You didn’t even have to acknowledge what he said – about him being in love with you. You could totally ignore it and act like it never happened, go on about your days like nothing changed as long as you’re by his side.
It hurts. It hurts that even when you’re just physically within his reach right now, he can’t seem to get a hold of you. And he has no one to blame but himself.
A phone rings and Jungkook watches as you fish out your device from your pockets.
“Must be Jin.” you say, picking up the call. You exchange a few words with your brother-in-law for a few seconds before hanging up and looking at him again. “He’s outside already.”
Jungkook nods, biting back the words that consist of something stupid like “don’t leave”.
“Your car…?” He hesitates, remembering how you’d drive to work.
“It broke again yesterday. I’m actually… uh… thinking of just selling it. Get it over with.”
Your car. You mentioned your parents have turned it over to you during your junior year in college. It always broke in the most inconvenient times – like the one time you had a bad date, and you panicked-texted him about the car towing company not picking up. It was a Sunday and Jungkook was supposed to go over some paper works, but he scrambled out of his room to get you – and he didn’t regret it one bit because you were actually crying the moment he arrived. You had been overstimulated, what with another failed date and your broken car – it was all too much. And you just needed Jungkook to be there. You told him so.
Jungkook cherishes those moments a lot. Not because you cried in them – he always felt like it was a punch to the gut whenever he sees you even an ounce of upset – but because it tells him that you trust him with that vulnerable side of you. It means he’s important enough to you to let him in your life. It’s one of those moments where Jungkook truly steps back to reevaluate your relationship – because sure, it could be merely friendship to anybody, but Jungkook doesn’t really think so. Your bond runs deeper than friendship, and he doesn’t even mean romantic. It’s the… camaraderie. The partnership.
He could’ve confessed a long time ago – that’s what people kept saying, but what they don’t know is that he has so much to lose. You are more than just the woman he would love to kiss and make love to or call his girlfriend – you’re the love of his life, you’re everything to him. And if he can’t have you in any way, he’d truly break.
And now that everything’s said and done – with him finally baring his truth to you – it’s come to this.
You, leaving.
The silence that follows pricks Jungkook’s skin like needles, and the creak of your steps on the floorboards ring in his ears – a daunting harsh whisper of your farewell – although it’s just temporary.
But something worries him.
What if it’s not temporary? What if during your stay at your sister’s place, you decide to completely get rid of his company for the good and better?
It’s all those frantic thoughts that urges him to call your name, but he doesn’t expect your voice overlapping with his as you say his name at the same time.
Jungkook’s lips curl up slightly. “What is it?”
Predictably, you wave your hand at him. “No, you first.”
“It’s okay.”
Your hand hovers over the handle of your suitcase as you pass by him, stopping on the threshold of your apartment. “I just…” you trail off. You look at Jungkook for a moment. “I just wanted to say bye. And uh… that… I drank all your banana milk in the fridge. But I’ll wire you the money later. Or buy you another batch and I’ll give it to you at the hospital or—”
Jungkook cuts you off by calling out your name, broken by a laugh of amusement. His first smile today, maybe. You look at him wide-eyed. It’s fascinating the way you have him completely wrapped around your finger and you’re not even doing anything.
“It’s fine. You don’t need to wire me anything.”
“Oh... well, I’m still sorry.” He nods, giving you a small smile. “What was it you wanted to tell me, then?”
Right now, he forgets what it was even all about. “Just, uh, please tell your sister and Seokjin hyung I said hi.”
Jungkook doesn’t want to delude himself into thinking that your face flashed a look of disappointment for the briefest moment after he said the words. At the back of his mind, he thinks you were expecting more – but he knows he’s reaching, grasping for straws, and he’s just desperate for anything from you he can’t really rationalize his line of thinking.
So with a final wave of your hand – a bit timid – you turn around and open the door to your unit, and Jungkook watches as your form disappears completely, leaving him stoned in his position in the middle of the living room for a long time; head empty, body numb, until he gathers time to collect himself and finally move over to the bathroom, where he takes a cold shower in hopes for an improved mood.
It didn’t really do anything, and he found himself having a hard time sleeping – waking up randomly during the wee hours of the morning.
When he stirs awake from his blaring alarm at 5:30, he’s nothing but adrift.
It feels weird when he goes to the kitchen and he doesn’t see you, as he expects you to be there in whatever worn up shirt from high school you still have, making toast or some quick breakfast – with your playlist playing from your phone – but you weren’t.
And Jungkook remembers that would be the case for another few days to come. Something he has to be okay with.
For the meantime.
He hopes.
Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often, but now, his friends are assuming he is. For the record, though, he is not drunk and they are just exaggerating. Sure, he’s staggering and he’s mixing up his syllables and grammar – but he swears he just feels a little woozy.
“Jungkook,” Doyeon calls him, laughing a bit. “Come on, Taehyung’s driving you home.”
“Don’t want to,” He says as he takes another swig of his fifth canned beer he’s been consuming since they all arrived at the barbecue place. “I can handle my alcohol.”
Which — fair. That’s not new news. But still—
“No shit, you have a shift tomorrow at eleven in the morning. Don’t be stubborn. It’s time to go home.”
“It’s fine, I’ll Uber back.”
Jungkook watches as Doyeon rolls her eyes.
“Are you really moping right now?”
He sends her a glare – one that she predictably does not take seriously. “‘M not moping. You’re moping.”
“And I’m Kate Bush. Taehyung, can you just drag Jungkook out of here? I think he’s gonna cry any minute now and the auntie is closing. We gotta go.” Nayeon butts in, and even though her words may seem harsh around the edges, she looks at Jungkook with a concerned gaze. The playful atmosphere from earlier now dissipating.
Jungkook appreciates the warmth that he gets from Nayeon’s gentle approach to everything – but right now, all it does is make him feel pitiful. Doyeon’s right. He is moping. Moping for something that should’ve been within his control in the first place.
“Man, you know you bench way more than me. I can’t carry you out all by myself if you’re all drunk and shit.” Taehyung nudges him on the shoulder, enough to make Jungkook move from his seat. He only grumbles.
Doyeon sighs. “What do you want, Jungkook? Call __? Tell her you’re getting wasted and come pick you up?”
Jungkook visibly flinches at the mention of you.
Ever since they arrived at the restaurant, Jungkook has noticed that his friends have been deliberately omitting your name in the conversation – until now, anyway. He thinks they all planned this spontaneous hang to “cheer him up” or whatever the fuck Taehyung said on their way here – which seemed like a slip-up, because Doyeon had hit the back of his head lightly right after saying it.
They’re walking on eggshells around him like he’s some kind of house of cards – one nudge and a blow and he comes crumbling down.
Jungkook hates getting doted on like this. It’s not like you two broke up. They just knew that you went to stay at your sister’s place for a while and you never said when you’re coming back. He hasn’t had any encounters with you at the hospital nowadays – you’re getting good at hiding from him and the rest of the gang, and every single day bleeds into countless sleepless nights. You’ve been gone for five days; no calls, or at least a text. And it seems like you deactivated your IG. You aren’t tweeting or reblogging shit on Twitter as well. You’ve gone completely silent – and with every waking moment that Jungkook spends a day without your presence, it feels like you’re slowly slipping through his fingers.
“No.” he glares at the three of them. Standing up, he feels his vision dancing at the sudden action.
Well. Maybe he is sort of drunk. A little.
“Hey, man, let’s go.” Taehyung ushers once again. This time, Jungkook acquiesces but with a groan. Nonetheless, he lets Taehyung wrap his arm around him to prevent him from tripping on his own feet.
When Jungkook manages to stand firm on the ground, he shuts his eyes tight to get a hold of himself and once again look at Doyeon and Nayeon who are still sitting by the table. With a confused expression, he asks, “Thought we’re all going?”
“Minhyuk will pick me up.” Nayeon says. Jungkook nods, directing his gaze to Doyeon.
“Somebody’s picking me up, too,” When Jungkook squints his eyes at her, she rolls her eyes. “Don’t start. Tae, drive safely, okay? You didn’t drink, right?”
Taehyung shakes his head and gives both women a reassuring nod before they head out of the building when goodbyes were bid, with Taehyung still pressing a hand on Jungkook’s back because he’s still a bit unstable on his feet. It’s not bad, though, Jungkook doesn’t think so. He just feels dizzy and shit, but it’s not anything water can’t solve.
Fuck, now he wants to get in bed as soon as possible. After a cold shower.
“Sorry, man.” he says as he plops down on the passenger’s seat, buckling the seatbelt around himself.
Taehyung comfortably settles on the driver’s seat, adjusting the rearview mirror a bit before starting the engine. But not after he responded to Jungkook with a snort, “It’s fine.”
It’s a quiet car ride and Jungkook can already feel his eyelids threatening to fall, the haze of sleep already clouding his mind. He can’t recall how far it takes from the restaurant to his complex, but soon enough, Taehyung’s voice wakes him up from his stupor.
“You okay there?”
Jungkook hums, leaning back to relax his nerves. A minute flies and he sighs loudly, making Taehyung look at him momentarily.
“Don’t sleep on me. Again, I am not willing to carry you all the way to your apartment, fucker.”
That makes Jungkook laugh, a snicker escaping past his lips. It makes Taehyung do the same, scoffing at his friend as he did so. The car ride continues into a stretched-out comfortable silence before Taehyung breaks it with a question of, “You two still haven’t talked?”
Jungkook stiffens at the mention, and he knows his friend notices the way he did, but he quickly tries to shake it off. “Yeah. She’s still at her sister’s.” Taehyung nods. When Jungkook looks at him, he decides to ask, “What ‘bout you? She reached out yet?”
“No.”
Jungkook inhales a sharp breath.
This is bad. You’re ignoring all your friends because of him.
“Sorry.” Jungkook says after a pregnant pause.
“What for?”
“Dunno. Feels like it’s all my fault,” a sigh escapes past his lips again. “You guys don’t deserve to get caught up in this.”
“Jungkook,” There’s a lilt to Taehyung’s voice that reminds Jungkook again that the man beside him is older than he is and sometimes, Taehyung can be way more mature, almost like an older brother. He forgets their age difference most of the time. “Don’t say that. __ just needs her time. She’ll come around.”
The smile Jungkook gives his way is bitter but it’s a smile, nonetheless.
“I don’t know, Tae,” He leans his head back on the seat, staring at nothing in particular. “It’s different this time.”
“You’ve fought before,” Taehyung points out. “How is this different?”
Jungkook does know what he’s trying to point out. He may be referring to the time in third year of med school when you didn’t talk to him for a month – but still. This, right now – whatever is happening – is far from what happened back then.
“Just different,” He shrugs, a poor attempt at nonchalance so Taehyung doesn’t think he’s being pathetic. “I feel like this is it.” Taehyung looks at him curiously when the red light turns on. It makes Jungkook squirm, but he voices out what he feels, anyway. “I’m losing her.”
That felt weird the moment it slips his tongue. For the past few days, it’s been in his head – making up the mess of his thoughts. When he said that, for once, it felt like finality. Like its verbalization actually made it real.
He does feel like he’s losing you. And it feels like the absolute truth.
“You can’t say that when you haven’t even talked to her, Jungkook,” Taehyung says and he says it so firmly. When Jungkook studies the older guy’s face, it’s etched with sincerity, especially when he adds, “Do you really think she’ll let go of an almost decade-long relationship just because of what happened? Frankly speaking, even if she does not feel the same way about you at all, I know her enough to know that she’ll have at least the decency to let you down properly. I think she’s just trying to think all of this through. She’ll talk when her head’s clear.”
Jungkook finds himself processing his words. You are exactly like that. You’re the type of person to need your personal space when you’re confronted by huge predicaments. When he thinks about it – you have so much on your plate. Mingyu, him, your relationship with each of them; Jungkook realizes things must be so hard for you right now, both emotionally and physically. And you’re dealing with all this while still showing up for your rotations.
“You’re right.” Jungkook whispers.
“Just… time, okay? You both need time.” Taehyung says and for once, Jungkook smiles a genuine one.
The light turns green, and Taehyung continues to drive.
Taehyung decided to turn up his jazz playlist and it eased Jungkook’s mind a bit. But it did lull him to sleep all the way to his apartment complex. Thankfully though, it only took Taehyung a few seconds of nudging him before he stirred awake, disoriented when he opened his eyes only to hear his friend say they were already there, ushering him out of his car.
He said his thanks to Taehyung, and his friend made sure to tell him to take it easy before he took off. When he was gone, Jungkook went straight to the elevator to press his floor, mind and body working on autopilot as he sauntered over the hallway to stop in front of his unit.
When the door opens, he feels a sense of calmness at the sight of his own place with everything at his disposal including the bathroom that he quickly head towards, not hesitating to strip himself naked on the way to the shower, letting his clothes form a heap on the threshold; bare and naked without a care in the world.
Stepping into the shower box, he turns the showerhead on, hissing at the cold water spraying onto his skin. He needed the cold to get rid of his sluggishness – and it works just as instantly as he’d hoped.
Both of his hands shoot up to brush his hair off his forehead, and he stays in that position for awhile; with the water running on his body and his head leaned back a bit, eyes closed as he relaxes.
He mindlessly reaches for his shampoo bottle, but when he opens the cap, he smells a completely different product. What welcomes him when he opens his eyes back again is the familiar sight of Bath and Body works bottle. Your water lily springs body wash.
Despite his current headspace, it brings a smile to Jungkook’s lips.
Right.
He’s noticed in the past few days that you left it in your shared bathroom. Considering all the things that you still have around the apartment, it didn’t really look like you packed a lot of things when you left – which should ease Jungkook’s mind. Still, though; the small size of your luggage and the quantity of what you brought with you do not matter when you still aren’t home.
And with that, Jungkook feels himself slipping back into… mulling again. And he can’t help but heave out a sigh.
He just… wants to rest for tonight. Just wants his head emptied out. Relax. He feels like he’s been on edge for the longest of time and he just needs some sort of – he’s not sure – comfort? Maybe something along the lines?
And as if his hand has a mind on its own, he grips the bottle of your body wash and squirts an ample amount on his palm, the scent of water lily springs surrounding the confined space of the shower immediately.
He lathers it all over his chest, inhaling the gentle waft and how it weirdly calms him from the inside. The room smells just like you. He smells just like you. And it isn’t the first time he’s doing this – he’s always liked the way you smelled, and he may have used your body wash by accident countless of times. Jungkook sometimes does it just to tease you – because you always point it out when you notice that he smells the same, and then you get all irritated and it makes Jungkook keen because you’re just so goddamn cute when you glare at him and when you get mean. Teasing you also means that you’d get mad enough to sulk at him, and that gives him the opportunity to make it up to you; and making it up to you means he gets all of your attention.
It’s pathetic but Jungkook’s not ashamed to admit that – just to himself, though. He likes when you give him attention, can you blame him?
His mind goes back to the memory of you cuddling with him on the ground at that random playground near your complex, how you snuggled up to his arm, giggling and threatening him to stop using your body wash. He remembers all the times you would cook together on nights when you’re both free – lounging on the couch mindlessly, either watching a show and debating over useless, stupid stuff – or when you would force him to rub your foot or massage your neck. Jungkook doesn’t relent until after you complain for a good five minutes. He’s gotten better at pretending overtime that he doesn’t look forward to touching any part of you.
At that thought, he recalls the way your back felt on his hands when he rubbed sunscreen all over it when you were at the resort. How the plane of your gorgeous skin felt so smooth to the touch, how you make him feel even with just the slightest baring of your skin.
Jungkook shuts his close when his mind goes into overdrive.
You. You. You and your bikini. You and your short shorts that might as well just be panties in disguise. You and those cute little, tight camisoles you always wear around the apartment. How he could just sometimes see the outline of your nipples where the thin material of your shirt clings to. How your bare legs look so good when you cross them while reading the paper on a Sunday morning by the kitchen island. How your breasts look like they could fit in Jungkook’s big palms with a bit of overspill – enough to drive him insane.
These are the thoughts in Jungkook’s head as he continues to lather the liquidy texture of your body wash all over his body – and when his hand finally nudges the dick in between his legs, he groans.
He’s not a stranger to getting off to the thought of you – you’re a gorgeous woman and it doesn’t really help the fact that he’s been in love with you for god knows how long – but it doesn’t mean that he does it guilt-free. He almost always feels like shit afterwards.
But he can’t help it. Not when you’re all over his head again. Not when he’s thinking about how good it would probably fucking feel if he could just have a taste of your plump lips. How it would feel if he could just suck on your neck, paint you with his love there, down to your cleavage then play with both of your tits with his hands – be greedy with it – get your nipples rock hard and pretty tight for him, suck and latch and nip and lick them, make sure it’s all wet before he goes down more south.
God. He thinks about it all the time. How’d it feel to go down on you. You’re so fucking pretty he could just imagine how gorgeous you would look down there, too. Were you the type to like getting eaten out? Jungkook hopes so. Because he would do everything to satisfy you. Fuck, he’d be so good to you. He’d tease your clit with his thumb first and you’d tell him that you’re aching for him bad – and he’d cave in and get his first taste with the flat of his tongue and fuck. You probably taste so good he’d crave it for days to come.
The next thing Jungkook knows, he’s holding the base of his cock firmly, feeling it getting harder every second. It grows in his hand as he continues to think about eating your pussy, imagining the sounds you’d let out, how you’d look extra beautiful getting fucked by his tongue. Shit. He’d do it so well if you just asked.
Jungkook traps his bottom lip with his teeth as he starts teasing his own cock, already in its full mass, hard and standing tall against his abdomen. He can see the shiny texture of his tip, precum leaking out, begging to be touched. He doesn’t wait any second to thumb the liquid off his head, letting out a half-sigh, half-hiss at how sensitive it felt, especially when he runs it over the veiny base.
Inhaling a sharp breath, Jungkook steps back a bit to cup his balls, squeezing it just enough to make him close his eyes. He repeats the motion of sliding his hand up and down his erect cock, feeling himself getting wetter at every second that passes.
He gets a picture of you on your knees, and as he pumps himself at a slow pace, he imagines it’s you instead kneading him. You have slender fingers and pretty nails, it would feel so much better if they were wrapped around his cock right now. Your nails would scrape against his length, and you’ve held hands enough times for Jungkook to know that his hand is significantly bigger than yours, so you probably won’t fit all of him in your hand – but that’s alright. You’d tease him on the tip instead, spread his precum all over, get him needing and wanting more.
Jungkook’s hips start to buck as he speeds up his pace, this time jacking himself harder as his mind jumps to more thoughts of you — but this time around, you’re not on your knees: you’re pressed on the glass wall of the shower box, your ass bent for all of him to caress and squeeze, and you’re craning your head to look at him with hooded eyes, lips parted into a gorgeous “o” as you beckon him to come closer and put his hard dick in your warm, tight, and aching pussy.
“Fuck.” Jungkook curses as he lets his forehead fall to the wall, resting there for a few good seconds, other hand scrambling to turn off the shower and quickly shutting his eyes close as he pictures himself thrusting into you instead of his stupid fucking hand.
“Shit, shit, shit—” He hisses, hand going faster around his length, pumping himself desperately to the thought of his dick sliding in and out of you.
Your moans would fill the tight room, and you’d sound so pretty. You’d be so pliant against the strong arm that he would wrap you with — and Jungkook would make sure to flick your nipples and fondle your breasts as he pounds into you from behind.
“Fuuuuck…”
He grunts and he moans, hand impossibly going faster — dick getting harder. He just wants a release. He wants to cum so bad — to kiss you and love you and have you say it back with the same earnestness as him.
Jungkook wants so badly to have you in his arms right after he eats you out, to cuddle with you and pretend like you have all the time in the world after he’s made sure to make love to every single inch of your body. To caress your hair and press a kiss on your head anytime he likes – because he’s allowed to. Because you love him. He just wants to be able to touch you in any way possible. Run his fingers over your back, kiss your cheeks, and your scrunched nose. Just wants to bury his face in your chest after a long day at work. Hold you tight against him. Have you close to him, whenever and wherever.
But he doesn’t have all that. He can’t have all that. Not when you don’t even feel the same. Not when you reacted that way when he told you he loves you more than just his best friend.
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t wrap my head around it. You’re not telling me the whole truth and frankly, I don’t believe you.”
Your words ring in his ears as he continues to jack himself.
The memory is still so vivid in his head — the surprised look on your face — certainly not the pleasant one. You were so… surprised. And angry. Like you didn’t believe any of what he said. Like you were trying hard to convince yourself that whatever you were hearing from him wasn’t true.
Because she doesn’t feel the same way. Jungkook thinks.
He remembers the night you left. How you could barely look him in the eyes.
“Shit—” Jungkook hisses as he squeezes his balls, hand pumping faster around his swollen cock. He closes his eyes as he tries to regulate his breathing, his stomach tightening at his impending release – and it’s the last thing he does in favor of his own sanity before his mind slips back again to life without you in it.
He would never have you. He can never be anything to you anymore.
He will never be, especially as he looks down at his hand on his cock.
How pathetic.
What would you think if you were to see him right now, getting himself off by imagining it’s you instead? You’d be so disgusted. You’d look at him like he’s a different person and feel betrayed because – how could the person you trust think about you like this?
There’s that sense of self-hatred again that Jungkook feels whenever he jacks off to you. That fear of you finding out and not liking it.
Jungkook tugs at his cock angrily as he thinks about all that, and he doesn’t notice that the stinging in the sides of his eyes would soon turn into tears running down his cheeks as he tries to reach his climax.
You would hate him so much. You don’t even like him anymore. Don’t even want to live with him anymore.
But he just wants to cum so bad. Just wants to feel some sort of clarity. Delude himself into basking in that quick dopamine.
He traps a sob in his throat as he makes quick work of his cock, and with one last squeeze around his tight balls, he shoots his hot cum to the wall, hips bucking at his orgasm.
Letting out a series of hushed curses, Jungkook continues to pump his cock for more until he feels sensitive, and his dick turns soft and languid against his legs.
He grabs the shower head to spray the cum off the wall, feeling the water already turning lukewarm. When he finishes cleaning his mess up, he grabs your body wash and exits the shower, throwing the bottle in the trash can with haste as if it burned him. As he turns back around, he catches sight of himself over the lavatory’s mirror.
There are dark circles under his eyes — not too visible — but they’re there. His eyes are red from crying, and suddenly his body itches. He should shower again and actually clean up this time.
But Jungkook realizes as he stares at himself again… he has never looked so tired. Not even in med school. Or during internship.
This whole thing is taking a toll on him – he knows that well by now. Even his friends do as well. He’s fucking up his sleeping schedule and he’s not even eating properly. He hits the gym not because he wants to but because it helps shut down his head.
Jungkook sighs.
He’s long accepted that the love he holds for you is so big it sometimes borders on piteous. He’s spent so many years going into this kind of phase where he just mulls over the same thing; that he loves you, but you will never ever feel the same way back.
And the thing is, he's always been okay with it. Jungkook loves loving you. He’d be a fool not to when he genuinely thinks that you were made to be loved.
But at this point, he just feels… tired.
Exhausted. Empty.
He wants to sleep. He wants to rest. He wants to wake up the next day and not feel like shit anymore.
Maybe Doyeon was right back at the villa.
It is time to move on.
And maybe… just maybe… unlike all the other times he’s attempted to do the same thing, this time around will be successful.
Your 7am to 2pm shift had just concluded when you arrived at your sister’s place, only to see them both all dolled up, ready to go out.
They told you that you could come with them if you liked, but of course you refused. You’re not the type to interrupt a date and they were certainly too in love for your liking. Don’t get you wrong, you love that for both – but you’re getting pretty sick of romance these days and you’re trying to avoid it as much as possible. Seokjin made sure to throw another one of his “Don’t mope around, okay? We have Macallan in the cupboards. You know the one.” jokes, though – having already known why you’re here in the first place – and your sister pinched his ear painfully enough for you to ignore and roll your eyes at him lightheartedly.
Which leads you to now, binge-eating a left-over tub of vanilla ice cream on a Sunday afternoon from last night’s impulsive purchase. You know it’s going to make you feel like shit later, but you can’t really bring yourself to care – not when the ice cream tastes too good paired with a Sex and The City episode.
You like to delude yourself you’re the early season Miranda; independent, boss bitch, career-driven, straightforward but kind. But you had a mortifying realization that maybe you’re actually Carrie. You’re both so obsessed with love and glorify the idea of “The One” that you overlook red flags in a guy just to stay in a relationship. And for what? To be completely broken and fucked over in the end of it all.
But you don’t want to be Carrie – sure, she has a special place in your heart as a fictional character but real-life Carries, with all of their delusions and ideals, are not meant for the real world.
“You’re watching that show again?”
You almost fall over the couch when you hear a familiar voice behind you, and when you crane your neck to look who it was, your eyes widen.
“Mom!” you exclaim, rightfully surprised. Your mother – in the flesh – smiles as she sees you grin. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you’d be here— wait, how’d you get inside?”
She waves you off. “You know your sister and Jin gave me a duplicate key to their place. Anyway, I’m just here to drop off some side dishes. Also, I know what you’ve been up to. And stop eating that ice cream.”
You pout, taking the tub away from you. When you see her walk towards the kitchen with her bags – presumably the side dishes she was talking about – you follow behind her steps, helping her load the containers in the fridge.
“What do you mean you know what I’ve been up to?”
“You and Jungkook fought, I heard.”
“Mom,” you say with a tone that tells her you don’t want to talk about it at all.
“You know I’m going over there shortly to give him these, right? Supposed to be for the both of you, but oh well, you’re lounging around here.” She says.
“I’m not lounging around here. They love that I’m here.” You counter, referring to your sister and Seokjin. It almost sounded like a whine, though, more than anything. But it was true! They like you being here! They’ve always treated you like their child… but you know you’re kind of pushing it with your sixth-day-stay.
Your mother looks at you disapprovingly, loading the last container before shutting the fringe doors shut.
“Whatever you’re fighting about, you know avoiding it is not going to make it better.”
You sigh. “I’m not even sure if we’re fighting, anyway.”
“What’s that mean?” Your mom asks, sounding confused. You can imagine.
“I don’t know… just – I don’t think we’re angry at each other.”
“Not being angry at each other is worse than being angry at each other. That sounds like withdrawal.”
You wince at her words. “Maybe.”
Your mom sighs. She takes out a bit from the container of stir-fried zucchini and slides you both a plate. “Have you been eating real food? You look like you’re not eating properly.”
Teenager and college you would’ve rolled your eyes because she always says that you’re losing weight and blah blah blah, but it’s not even true. However, you do know she’s just concerned, though, and so you nod your head, picking up a zucchini and eating it.
“Yes. Jin’s a good cook.”
She nods, eating as well. “So is Jungkook. He hasn’t talked to you at all?”
You thought you’ve dodged the topic of Jungkook completely but apparently your mom’s still on that. You nibble on your bottom lip as you think what to say.
“He… uhm… he didn’t text or call.” Well. There was one time. Two days ago. And it was just a simple text about informing you of the sudden change in the OR schedule. You replied to it with a thanks and a smiley face, but he didn’t say anything after that — not that your thanks should guarantee anything. That was not exactly a conversation starter.
Still.
“Have you talked to him?”
Shoot.
You shake your head a bit.
The truth is that you can’t be sad about Jungkook not reaching out when you haven’t been doing the same thing either. You’re running away from him – you can admit that. The past week hasn’t been your proudest moment. You’ve thought it over countless times; why you just can’t go ahead and speak to him – because heck, for eight years you’ve always done a good job at it, communicating with each other when things went wrong. Like when he teases you too much and you actually get offended, and the same goes for him.
But what happened wasn’t just something that came out of a supposedly lighthearted banter. It wasn’t your usual banter at all.
“What happened, sweetie?” And this time your mom’s voice is bordering on concern.
You don’t look at her when you say, “Jungkook said he’s in love with me.”
You don’t get a reaction. At least – the reaction you were expecting. You thought she would gasp, or at least let out an, “Oh”, but there’s none of that. When you peer up at her, she just nods.
As if the news was no surprise.
“And I take it didn’t go well?” She looks at you gently.
“N-no,” you stammer. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you say, “It was – it was so messy that day, mom. You know we went to that resort for his birthday, right? He and my boyfriend fought, and just – so much happened. I don’t even remember half of it. Just that he told me he’s been in love with me for the past eight years.”
Your mom nods. “Your boyfriend… is that Mingyu?”
“Yes.” It feels weird to call him your boyfriend now. You used to be so giddy calling him that. But right now, it feels almost icky.
“Why did Jungkook and him fight?”
You told her what Jungkook told you – everything, and your mom is sweet almost all of the time but as she listens to everything that Mingyu supposedly did and say – especially about you – she can’t help but knit her brows in that quiet anger you know all too well now. But it soon dissipates to worry.
She steps closer to you. You look at her with a sad smile. With that, she encloses her arms around you, and you let your chin fall on her shoulder as you reciprocate her hug. You almost cry when she squeezes you. “How are you feeling then, sweetie?” She asks, voice so gentle and soft. Comforting. You think this has been what you needed all this time.
“Like shit.” you chuckle. “I’ve never been so tired. I haven’t even talked to Mingyu yet – I haven’t been talking to anybody, even my friends. I don't know why I’m like this.”
“You know I worry for you.”
“Hm?”
“You’re such a lovely, sweet girl. And these men keep breaking your heart. I wish I can ease your pain, honey. You have the biggest heart in the world.”
You nibble on your bottom lip as you feel that stinging in your eyes at her words. You remember Jungkook saying almost the exact same thing.
“Jungkook told me that sometime ago.” you say, holding back the cry you know is coming out any second now.
“He knows you well.” She says as she caresses your head.
“I just…” you let out a sigh again, trying to shake off the oncoming tears. “When he told me he loved me all this time, I said I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still can’t.”
“Do you think he would lie about something like that?”
It’s firm and final when you say, “No.” Because you know in your heart that was true. Jungkook is anything but a liar. And especially about something like that… you just don’t think he would ever hurt you intentionally. That’d be cruel and Jungkook was never cruel. It’s just not in his nature.
“Hm. Then is it because you don’t feel the same way at all? That’s why you can’t believe it?” Your mom asks and it’s the most groundbreaking question you’ve ever heard after a while.
Do you just… not feel the same way?
That was definitely the biggest question you’ve been avoiding answering.
But as your mom pushes you slightly so she can look at you earnestly, gently, like she has no expectations whatsoever – just here to hold and comfort you – it beckons you into spilling your emotions.
“I… I really don’t know, mom.” You intake a sharp breath. “He’s been a constant presence in my life for eight years. We’ve never– we’ve never considered the possibility of being more than just friends. I– I don’t know why he would love me. Or fall for me. He’s never shown interest, the way I saw it – but these days I’ve been rethinking that and I’m beating myself over for being stupid because it’s like – how could I have not known? He’s always been so caring towards me. Always makes time for me. He’s never let me down and he’s just – he’s my person, mom. Always has been. And how could I have thought that he didn’t mean for that to come off as purely platonic?” you stop, feeling your lips wobble. “It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel. All I know is that these days without him have been so painful, especially when we haven’t properly talked. I miss him everyday and it kills me that we aren’t like before right now. I want to be by his side all the time, and I think I may have taken that for granted for the past eight years we’ve known each other.”
You don’t realize you’ve let out so much, but your mom just lets you snuggle closer to her, knowing that you’re feeling a lot right now. And you do. You haven’t talked to anyone about what you really felt – not even your sister, even though you knew she did her best to do so – but as your mom soothes your back with the gentle rub of her hand, you let yourself be comforted.
“You know what I think, honey?”
You look up at her with teary eyes, nodding weakly.
She gives you a small smile. “Do you remember that time when I thought he was your boyfriend when you brought him for Christmas?”
Nodding, you chuckle. Second year of med school it was. Eunwoo was in Switzerland for a a big project – and Jungkook’s parents weren’t in town. You both didn’t have anybody to celebrate Christmas with and so you ended up asking Jungkook to come home with you.
It wasn’t just your mom who thought he was your boyfriend. Your sister and Seokjin also assumed the same thing.
Around that time, you haven’t introduced Eunwoo to them yet so basically, they didn’t know that you were taken already.
“I think this is just me being old… but you kind of… you get to know these things, __. You’ll see somebody's eyes, they way they gaze at somebody. When we were opening those gifts during Christmas eve, I saw the way that kid looked at my daughter with so much adoration that I even thought you were just being coy about him being your boyfriend.”
Your lips curl into a tight line.
You… certainly did not notice any of that. Did that really happen?
“I think Jungkook’s a good man, and your dad is fond of him – he asked me yesterday if you’re gonna bring him for Thanksgiving or Christmas, he misses his chess buddy, it seems. No pressure, though,” your mom chuckles. “But Jungkook’s smart, kind, polite, works hard, really charming—” you laugh again, despite yourself, because that’s definitely true. He charmed your parents so quickly with ease. It’s just really about his pleasant personality that attaches people to him. “But most especially, he makes you really happy. I liked that Jaehyun guy and Eunwoo because they made you happy when you were together. Up until they didn’t. I only like people who are good to you, sweetie. That was why I liked your ex-boyfriends for a while,” She begins caressing your head again and you feel like a little girl again, finding comfort in your mom’s bedroom after a bad day at middle school. Your mom smiles softly before she continues, “But those men hurt you. And they leave you. And you know who hasn’t in the past eight years? The only one who’s been consistent in making you happy?”
It’s Jungkook. He’s always been under your nose while you cried over other men, and he was there to support you through it all. He’s the one who makes you laugh at his stupid jokes. The one who sits with you in your feelings on days when you don’t feel your best. He’s the one who lets you cry on his shoulder when a surgery doesn’t go well, the guy who would drop everything for you with one text or call, the guy who gifts you stupid, stupid random things because they reminded him of you. He’s the guy who shares his playlists with you, comments silly stuff on your equally silly posts, and he’s the only one who has never, ever made you feel like you’re not enough. He’s the only one who has never left and hurt you.
It’s always been Jungkook.
Your mom doesn’t need to say the name, though, just one look at you and she knows you're thinking the same thing.
It’s during midday at the hospital when you see Jungkook again.
The elevator dinged and the doors finally opened on your floor, but you froze in your position when you saw who was inside the whole time.
It was Jungkook, sitting slightly on the handrails while crossing his arms. His posture straightened for a bit as he met your eyes, looking equally surprised as you. But then he recovered and relaxed in his position just as quickly.
You couldn’t read the look on his face.
Taking a hold of yourself before the door automatically closes, you stepped a foot inside the lift and pressed on the button of your floor immediately. The 7th floor button is lightened up, so you assumed Jungkook was gonna get off earlier than you since you were going down on the sixth floor.
The confined space had never felt more suffocating. You could feel there was something in the air – a thick tension that was getting too hard to bear every second you felt the elevator moving down.
There was a lump that formed in your throat, especially when you caught a glimpse of the reader going floors down fast, and the 7th one was nearing.
Your heart beat erratically against your chest. You didn’t even feel that nervous back in the OR twenty minutes ago.
But you figured it was the first time you felt close, after all.
It was funny, really – what you felt at that moment. Being physically close to Jungkook had never made you feel like that – like you’re on edge – you’ve always just approached it as something natural, like you were meant to be that way. And those times, you never really thought about the contact ending.
But in that moment, it felt like he was slipping away – even though you were not even holding him in the first place.
It was probably why you let out your next words, craning your neck to the side to try and look behind you where you knew Jungkook was at.
“I miss you.”
You barely said it. Felt like just a soft whisper as the words slipped past your lips, but there was a break around its edges – like it was the most vulnerable thing you’ve ever said.
It was.
And you didn’t exactly know why you did it.
Maybe you just wanted him to know. Maybe you just wanted him to understand that… that you were still there. And that you missed him. Every single day. Regardless of what happened.
There was a thick silence that hung in the air after that, and you should’ve taken back your words right after they came out. Embarrassment should’ve clouded you by then. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.
That was as honest as you could get.
You didn’t even expect a reply – assuming that maybe Jungkook hadn’t heard it.
But you heard the soft tap of his steps on the floor and felt his overwhelming presence coming near you. And just like that, you knew he was behind you. Close. A hair's breadth away.
Then, you hear him let out a soft sigh, and you could feel his breath brush against your ear as he leaned down. You never realized how much you craved his affection until you felt him slightly nudging his cheek against the crown of your head.
It made you keen. Made you shut your eyes close. Basking in the moment, but you didn’t ignore the pain that it caused.
Because somehow, despite what might seem like a sweet gesture – the whole thing felt like goodbye.
It was so intimate, though, that you almost forgot that you were currently on the 8th floor and he was dropping off on the next.
The elevator dinged like a wake-up call. And when you opened your eyes, Jungkook had already peeled his body away from you. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you fought the urge to cry as you saw him walking out.
Before the door closed, he took one look at you. His mouth opened, as if wanting to say something. You waited. But he closed his lips again, not bothering to look back for even one last time before the elevator doors closed in front of your face.
The interaction left a certain melancholy in your heart, and it made you run on auto-pilot when the elevator stopped on your floor.
You never expected for the encounter to happen – but it did, in its own way. And now you have to deal with the consequences of your impulsive actions.
Your mindless walking has led your feet to somewhere a bit secluded. It’s far across the hall, and you recognize it as some old, empty ward. You and your friends have one on the 5th floor but you don’t think you’ve never really been here before and so you weren’t sure.
But you’re desperate to let out a good cry. Maybe not exactly cry – but just be alone for awhile. The hospital and your schedule are busy enough as they are and it’s enough to keep your mind occupied since the morning – but that interaction with Jungkook at the elevator reminded you of the weight that you’ve been carrying lately and you just… want to dissipate a little. Even if it means sacrificing your three-minute lunchtime.
You don’t suspect anything as you twist the doorknob open – surprise to see it’s not locked like you thought it would be.
And the sight leaves your mouth hanging open.
“Oh my god.”
“What the fuck.”
“Shit!” You watch as Doyeon pushes off the man wearing a white lab gown on top of her – a very familiar figure that you can only recognize as none other than the attending surgeon Dr. Kim Namjoon.
A panicked, “I’m sorry!” leaves your mouth before you turn on your heel, ready to fly off the scene when you hear Doyeon’s voice calling you from behind.
“Wait, __!”
You hesitantly look back.
It’s obvious what they were doing before you entered the room. Doyeon’s hair is unusually out of the ponytail she always shows up to work with, and Dr. Kim… Jesus. He’s always been so intimidating to you – with his tall stature and his aura that reeks so much of authority, even though he doesn’t even try, it feels so fucking weird to suddenly see him with his hair all mussed up when it always looks kempt every single time you see him along the hallways of the hospital. Right now, he looks coy, like he’s shrinking himself as he avoids looking at you.
“Dr. __, I am so deeply sorry,” His apology sounds so remorseful that you feel bad for even having to barge in. You can see Dr. Kim fumbling with his coat as he looks at Doyeon like he’s looking for help. Doyeon looks at him, but she just… rolls her eyes.
“Joon, just–” She cuts herself off, shutting her eyes close. Seemingly agitated. Or embarrassed. You don’t know why you’re still here. “You should leave now, I’ll talk to __.” Doyeon lets her gaze fall back to you and your eyes widen at the declaration, not really knowing if she was serious or not.
You mean… what are you even going to talk about? Sure! You’re shocked as fuck to see them together in that position but you’re not about to ask her about her sex life!
… Okay. So maybe you are a little bit (only a little) curious about that.
Dr. Kim has always been a mystery to all of you. Taehyung and Jungkook admire him so much, the latter lowkey idolizes him at this point. Nayeon has always spoken highly about him and you’re literally a fan of all his work in his field, especially his books. It doesn’t help that he’s attractive as hell, too, and you all may have gossiped about him at one point in your lives – so sue you for being curious! You’re just human.
“You sure?” Dr. Kim says, barely spoken, but you don’t miss the gentle way he holds Doyeon’s shoulder as he asks that, the way his face contorts into a concerned expression when he looks down at her. One quick interaction and you instantly realize that oh… this is serious.
They’re not just having casual sex in this ward.
This is Doyeon’s boyfriend.
Your bestfriend nods at him and you step aside to give Dr. Kim some space to leave the room, still visibly stunned. You thought he was going to leave when he utters another apology again.
“__, I’m really sorry about this behavior. Doyeon and I—”
Doyeon groans. “Joon, oh my god. It’s fine.”
You watch as Dr. Kim’s (who Doyeon apparently calls “Joon”— what the hell) lips fall into a thin line. “Fine. I’ll go. We’ll talk about this later, alright?”
“I know.”
He gives you both one last glance before the door closes on you.
You swear you tried to look for cameras everywhere – like they do in The Office – to see if the whole thing was a prank. But no. Your life’s unfortunately not a sitcom.
“I told him to lock the door earlier,” Doyeon starts, sounding defeated as she falls back on one of the emergency beds. Sighing, she covers her face with her hands. “This is so embarrassing.”
At that, you can’t help but react immediately.
“You’re embarrassed about the fact that you’re fucking an insanely stupid hot, intelligent man?” Your brows knit.
Doyeon looks at you and you both stare at each other. She holds her own, like she usually does, but for the first time ever, she breaks and chuckles. The laughter turns hilarious, and you follow her into the bed.
“God,” she utters. She licks her bottom lip and looks at you shyly. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
“I mean… what did you mean to do instead?”
She hesitates. “I’m not sure.”
You frown. “So, you just… you just weren’t going to tell me? Us?” You didn’t bother to hide the tone of disappointment in your words. Doyeon looks a little ashamed when you verbalized that.
“It’s not that. I just didn’t know how,” She says. You knit your brows in confusion. “You know I’ve always been… private about my dating life or whatever. I don’t tell you guys I’m dating until I’m sure the guy and I are official. I… I don’t even date a lot in the first place.”
Well… that was true. You nod at her, giving her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I get that.” Doyeon smiles a little. “How long?”
There’s a pregnant pause before she says, “Uh… since Feb?”
“Jesus.” She winces at your reaction. You stare at her with your jaw slack. “What the fuck, Doyeon? Nine months?”
“Well, technically, eight but—” you look at her dryly and Doyeon gives up on her attempt at being facetious. “Okay. I’m sorry. It just happened.” You raise your brow at her. She sighs. “Okay, so we may have hooked up last year in December. You remember the Christmas party at the Ritz?”
Your mouth just hangs wider, looking at her incredulously. Every drop of information she lets out just grows your surprise bigger, and you have nothing in substance to say except, “You… whore.”
Doyeon laughs so loud you worry it might have been heard from the outside, but you wince at the slap that follows on your shoulder as she giggles nonstop.
“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.”
“No– I just– Oh my god, was that the reason why you bailed on our own Christmas party over at Nayeon’s?” She nods at your question with her lips pursed. You scoff, still not believing it but just overall amused in general. “You’re really throwing me a curveball here, babe. Like – I have never ever heard you talking about Dr. Kim except when you said you’d totally fuck him in that one drinking session. And then, you actually fucking did.”
She rolls her eyes, scoffing. “He started asking me out on dates in January and he asked me to be his girlfriend in Feb. I don’t even know how it happened. It just did,” She shrugs, as if she just said that the skies are blue. “I’m pretty good at hiding, huh?”
You don’t hide the way you instantly frown.
“I’m happy for you, Doyeon, I really am. But… did you not feel like you could tell me? Or any of us?”
At least she looks apologetic, nibbling on her bottom lip before she says, “It’s not that, __. I didn’t know how to tell you guys. There’s this – there’s this thing when you date a co-worker, especially in the hospital. He’s an attendant, and he’s about to be chief of surgery next two months, you know that right? And it’s just— I know you will never think it, or the rest of our friends – but I just. I didn’t want anyone to think that I’m… that I’m sleeping my way here, you know? It’s fucking weird. And Ms. Yan from fuckass HR hates me for some reason. I’d be public enemy number one around here, __.”
You wince hearing her explanation. Nodding, you rub her shoulder to offer some kind of comfort, noticing that she’s actually silently fuming just by the mere thought of that. Meaning she must have been thinking about it for quite some time now.
“But you know we’ll never think of it like that, right?” You confirm with her, just to be sure. You love Doyeon – she’s basically your sister at this point – and you don’t ever want her to feel like she can’t trust you.
“Of course. I don’t… I can’t really offer you any explanation other than I got scared and just wasn’t ready. Joon wants to let people know… and I don’t know. I guess I’m thinking about that too nowadays.” She says, and she’s not really looking at you anymore, seemingly deep in thought.
You begin rubbing her back. “It’s fine if you’re not ready yet.”
“Oh, this is getting kind of mushy. I hate it.” Doyeon says dryly. You push her slightly which sends her sideways a bit, earning a laugh from her.
“Joon, huh?” You decide to tease to lighten up the mood. Instead of backing down and getting shy like you expected, Doyeon raises her brow. “Can I be honest with you, though?” You say, fiddling with your fingers. She nods so you tread lightly to your next words. “This will sound crazy, I know, but for the longest time I thought Jungkook was your secret boyfriend.”
“What the fuck?” Doyeon says, sharp and almost… disgusted. You don’t expect such a reaction.
“Okay, you don’t need to sound so disgusted. Jungkook’s a good-looking guy and he’s very decent.” You say, sounding weirdly defensive – even to your own ears.
“No– that’s not what I meant—” Doyeon cuts herself off with a laugh. “That’s actually really funny, though.” You look at her curiously. “Somehow, I thought about you thinking that. Especially after that time at the villa when you walked in on us talking by the pool deck.”
“I…” you try to come up with an excuse, something to deny her claim, but nothing comes, and your eyebrows knit in confusion because you actually don’t know yourself why you felt that way back then. You still remember the weird feeling that flared up in your chest upon seeing them in such an intimate position — with Jungkook’s head on Doyeon’s stomach and her caressing his head. Maybe you’re more malicious than you let on, but can she really blame you for thinking there was more to that? Besides, Jungkook’s second closest in the group is probably her. It made sense to assume they were secretly together.
“God, don’t,” Doyeon says incredulously. “Obviously, he’s not my secret boyfriend. I don’t like him and he does not like me, at least not that way. That man only has heart eyes for you and I’m only into Namjoon, thank you very much.”
You wince. “Sorry.”
“But were you really jealous that time, though?” Doyeon asks, intrigued. “I mean, I thought about it. You were acting weird. But I kind of just shrugged it off.”
“I was not jealous, what the hell,” you quickly say. “I was just surprised. And you’re both really close, so I don’t know.”
Doyeon arches her brow. “You’re also both close, so going by that logic, are you two together?” You frown at her. She laughs, knowing she proved her point. “Alright, enough about that. How have you been these days?”
You stare at her before sighing.
“I’ve been wanting to say sorry.”
“Damn straight,” she tells you immediately, like she’s been looking forward to it. “Like, you bitch– I thought you died. Not talking to me or to anybody for a week is crazy.”
“It’s not my proudest moment.”
“Why?”
You subtly inhale a shaky breath. “I… to be honest? I thought you guys were mad at me.”
“What?” You can hear the incredulous tone Doyeon’s taking on. And you slowly realize that you completely just conjured a whole ass narrative in your head the whole time.
“I know. I feel terrible about it. But I just… I couldn’t help but think that I ruined… things.”
“Oh…” Doyeon says, and she cranes her neck down to meet your gaze as you’re tucking your head down slightly. “Why did you think that?”
You open your mouth and close it, trying to find the right words.
“I… know I was completely being ambitious when I said I wanted to bring Mingyu along to the trip – and I realize I shouldn’t have done that. Our relationship was still so fresh, and I was already bringing him along to what was supposed to be our vacation. And the fight happened and the whole thing just went to complete shit. We didn’t even get to spend our five nights there because you guys had to book us a flight immediately and I just… I guess I just feel so bad about it. Had I not invited him… the trip would’ve been way more different. Happier, that I’m sure of.”
“__,” Doyeon calls your name firmly. “That was not any of your fault. Sure, you should’ve consulted with us – because I’m not gonna lie, you threw us in for a surprise when you said that Mingyu was coming, but that fight was not your fault. At all. They physically fought each other on their own accord, even though they knew they were already too grown to be doing that shit. Don’t feel guilty about what those men did.”
You bite your lip. “Still. They— uhm. They apparently fought because of me. It’s stupid.”
“Exactly. But… Mingyu kind of deserved it. Sorry.” Doyeon comments.
You wince. “You know?”
“Jungkook told us about it, yeah.” Doyeon says, as if hesitant to even mention his name in the conversation.
You sigh. You’re not really surprised. “Did he… did he tell you guys… everything?”
“He did.” Doyeon confirms. “It’s not actually new news for us, __.”
You look confuse when you meet her gaze. “How do you mean?”
She presses her lips into a thin line. “He’s in love with you. We’ve known for a while,” You stare at her, mouth agape. Doyeon reluctantly adds, “Since med school.”
“Oh.” You close your eyes for a moment. “Even Nayeon?”
She nods. “Yes.”
You’re silent for a while before you look away. Nodding, you whisper, “I see,” You sigh. “I don’t even… I’m not even surprised about that. Even my mother knows — I mean, Jungkook didn’t tell her of course, but she said she knew he had feelings for me.”
“I think… everybody knows, __.” Your eyes fall to Doyeon. She gives you a gentle smile. “Everybody who sees the way Jungkook looks at you immediately knows right away. He doesn’t have to tell someone he likes you for them to know that. Taehyung and I figured it out ourselves as well. And then Nayeon met you both and she did the same thing. Just had to fish out the confirmation from Jungkook himself.”
“That’s…” you trail off, not really knowing what to say. “I’m really stupid for not noticing all this time, huh?”
“Hmm… maybe. Sort of. But also, not really. I guess it must’ve been just different for you. We’re just bystanders of your interactions — when Jungkook teases you like a fucker it’s easy to assume he’s flirting with you, but it must’ve been annoying as hell for you.”
You chuckle a bit. But it’s with fondness as you agree, “Yeah…”
“He sucks ass at flirting.”
“I agree…” you trail off. “I – well, you probably know, but I told him I don’t believe him,” Doyeon hums, listening in. “I regret saying that. It really hurt him. But… who can blame me, Doyeon? I mean, am I not right for having doubts? Being confused? I mean, okay, yes, I was taken for the first four years we knew each other but I was— I was available two years ago and he didn’t— he didn't do anything. Why didn’t he do anything?” The words are coming off as a rant, you’re fully aware, but you let yourself go, anyway. “He was dating all those women and I just… how am I supposed to believe him when I thought he showed me the opposite?”
“You mean how were you supposed to believe him when he sleeps around?”
You shut your eyes close. “I don’t– I don’t necessarily think he sleeps around, okay? Jungkook’s not a fuckboy or someone who sleeps with anyone with a pulse. He’s too grown for that shit. But I… I just meant, that… he dated a lot all throughout the time we knew each other, so where was I in the equation? You know what I mean?”
Doyeon stares at you for a bit, then she nods, looking ahead. “I know what you mean.”
“Yeah?”
She nods. Then, “Are you worried he’s not sincere about his feelings? Because he dated a lot of people?”
“I-I’m not sure about that.” But maybe, that thought bothers you a bit.
“When was the last time he was with somebody?”
You don’t mean to sound defensive when you retort back with, “I wouldn’t know that. Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook and I do not actually talk about everything, and that includes our sex lives, but I know when he’s… seeing somebody.”
“How?” Doyeon asks, looking at you. She wasn’t trying to trick you into anything, just genuine curiosity written all over her face.
You shy away from her gaze. “Four months ago… Nayeon’s engagement party. He was checking that woman out.”
“Oh… Kwon Jihyo?”
Your brows furrow. “You know her?”
Doyeon nods. “Yeah. Physio class back in freshman year. I talked to her at the party as well,” you grow more confused and Doyeon adds, “Also, she’s gay. Married with two kids.”
“Oh.”
That earns a chuckle from Doyeon. Tapping your arm, she tells you, “You don’t have a gay radar, it’s fine.”
“Oh my god…” you slap a hand on your forehead. “I teased him about sleeping with her after the party…”
You’ve always seen Jungkook as a regular ladies man in your head due to the fact that he gets women, quite very easily. Empirically, Jungkook goes on a lot of dates. But to be completely honest with yourself, you don’t even know the extent of those said dates. Jungkook doesn’t exactly oppose it when you lightheartedly tease him about being a playboy, but you do notice when that puts him off a bit.
Maybe you should’ve pried – maybe he gets put off because it’s simply not true? But you don’t think it’s not not true either, so… do you really think he sleeps around?
“Look,” Doyeon suddenly says which makes you look at her, snapping you out of your own messy thoughts. “I’m not trying to defend him or put in a good word for him or whatever. But I do know that you know him better than I do, so I’m sure you don’t actually think he isn’t sincere about his feelings for you. If you’re worried about his dating history, talk to him about that – but if we’re going by technical definition here, I don’t think Jungkook sleeps around, __. He doesn’t have a new woman switched out for another every seven business days, does he? Or is that a wrong assumption—”
“God, no,” you roll your eyes at her. “And anyway, why are we talking about this? I don’t care who he has sex with. He can do whatever he wants. He’s a grown man.”
“Yeah… but you just said it’s sort of the reason why you’re holding back.”
You feel blood rushing to your cheek because… that is true. You don’t even know why. Because you stand for what you said that he can do whatever the hell he wants. He’s young and he’s objectively attractive and he can have sex whenever he wants…
But somehow, that very thought — of Jungkook being with anybody that way, suddenly made a weird feeling flare up in your chest. You’ve never really paid it mind before, but right now that you now know what you know…
“It just kind of hurts a bit, I guess.” You say, not looking at Doyeon. “I mean, it’s irrational, really. I don’t expect him to be celibate for the eight years he’s claimed to love me, that’s just insane. I’ve also had sex with other people throughout the time and it would be unfair of me to dwell on the fact that he’s been with other people in the past when I also have but… it’s just… you know…” you trail off, and you feel like you’re gonna burst with so much embarrassment from the thoughts running through your head.
“I know… what?” Doyeon says, trying to fill in the gaps.
“I guess I just…” you swallow the lump in your throat. “I guess…. I guess I just expected him to want only me.”
“Oh.” you look at Doyeon. “Oh wow. That’s…”
You huff. “It’s childish, I know. It’s so stupid – I can’t think that. It’s unfair for him.”
Doyeon shakes her head. “No, I mean, I get that. I get that completely,” She scoots closer to you. “You have to know, though, that for the past eight years, Jungkook has tried many times to move on from you.” That words felt like a bucket of cold water. He’s tried…? Doyeon gives you a small smile when she notices the way your face fell. “It was really tough for him when you and Eunwoo got serious, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried seeing other people, in the hopes that they could make him feel what he does for you. He didn’t do that in vain – like he did it maliciously in hopes that you would get jealous or whatever. He did that – he does that – because he also genuinely wants to be with someone who can reciprocate his feelings. Min Sora was really close… but I don’t really know what happened to that. I’ve assumed since then that he must still probably love you. And he still apparently does, even to this day. I’m not saying all of this in favor of him, okay? But do you not want to give him a chance because of that? He really loves you, __. He admires you a lot. You don’t know how much he’s just in awe of you. He talks about you a lot when you’re not around, and he’d ditch just about anything to get to you with one call. Look… I don’t know what you feel, and at the end of the day, you call the shots. But I think he’s worth it, __. Because I know him as well and everybody knows he’ll treat you right. You just gotta give him the chance.”
You take in Doyeon’s words carefully.
“That’s not really the only thing I’m skeptical about,” you sigh. “Him having slept with other people is not the top of my concern, because we weren’t in any relationship. Again, I couldn’t have expected him to be celibate all this time. What I’m really worried about is the fact that he’s so— he’s so important to me, Doyeon. I’ve known him for eight years and he’s… he’s quite literally the best thing that ever happened to me—” you stop for awhile because you feel your voice breaking, just in time when the sides of your eyes sting with precedent tears. But you can’t cry right now. You’ve done that a lot in the past few days. “And if— and if I do feel the same, and then we do this thing, what if it all goes wrong? I don’t – I can’t really bear the thought of him not present in my life. I have never considered that ever since I’ve known him. I’m so lucky with my friendships but my romantic relationships all suck. They’re shit. And I don’t want to have a shit romantic relationship with Jungkook, because that would mean I’d lose him. And I don’t want to lose him… do you— do you get me, Doyeon? I’m so scared. Because there's this part of me that wholeheartedly believes what he said, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s in denial because I can’t stop thinking about things going wrong.”
“Hey,” Doyeon gently calls, and you don’t realize that you’ve been holding back a sob because the moment she scoots closer, arm circling your back, you bury your face in her chest and let out a quiet cry. She cradles your head, and you close your eyes at that. “What if things don’t go wrong, though? What if it works out?”
You sniffle. “But things always go wrong for me and my boyfriends. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but they just never end well.”
Doyeon lets out a heavy breath. “I completely understand that. Again, you know Jungkook better than I do. Better than anybody I know, really. You would know exactly what he’s capable of – and that includes the possibility of him hurting you, or the lack of it thereof. It’s really your choice, __. Just… just talk to him, okay? He’s been wanting to, but you’re not reaching out and he said he didn’t want to suffocate you or anything like that.”
You quickly perk up at that. “He said that?” Doyeon nods. It makes your shoulders deflate. “But… but we were in the elevator today and he…”
“He what?”
“He… uhm… well I said something stupid,” you wince, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. “I said I miss him, but he didn’t – I don’t know. He didn’t say anything,” Nibbling on your bottom lip anxiously, you look at Doyeon reluctantly, gauging her reaction. “I think he actually hates me now.”
Doyeon is quiet for a moment before she speaks. “You just… you really have no clue how much he loves you, huh? You can kill a close relative of his and he’ll make excuses for you, I don’t doubt that even for a second,” She says and for a moment you’re a bit offended because you’re getting kind of tired of people pointing out that Jungkook being into you is obvious like how the grasses are green, but Doyeon shakes her head, face in pure disbelief. And you just know she didn’t mean it that way. She genuinely looks baffled. “You really need to talk, __. This is… it really hurts seeing you both like this."
You tuck your head down. “I’m thinking about it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I think… I’m going back to our place tonight. But I’m not sure. I’ll probably chicken out last minute.”
Doyeon pats your arm. “Do it, okay? Just be honest with yourself and to him. You both need that.”
You give her a small, weak smile.
You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place. Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment.
It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon yesterday, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s an urge at the sides of your eyes to cry.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that nobody is at home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him did not exactly go as well as you’d like.
He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. As you leave your phone on the counter, you notice the to-go container from Chipotle on the same surface, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it.
So Jungkook is home.
The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick?
You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on the screen of Jungkook’s macbook.
The tab that shows is an apartment listing website, and besides are more tabs that show some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to on the internet before when you were looking for a place.
It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-apartment bedrooms and studio apartments.
Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight.
What does this mean?
“Oh, hey,”
The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand.
“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. Your heart feels like it’s somersaulting for some reason at the sight of him.
But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you.
“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and there’s a twinge in your heart that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, that felt intentional.
But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace. If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the highchairs on the island and plug in his charger for his laptop.
Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh... you just got off from your shift?”
“Yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit.
“Nah, got off a few hours ago.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Yeah.”
You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air.
It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing you can say to one another.
It breaks your heart that’s the current case.
“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself.
How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him.
Jungkook seems surprised at this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his own laptop. There’s a certain jerk in his movements when he moves his fingers to the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his wallpaper instead.
“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.”
Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?”
Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks.
“Yeah.”
So, he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face and let your gaze fall back to his laptop.
You give him a small smile.
“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”
Your heart completely breaks when you say the words.
Suddenly, the words of your supposed confession get stuck and they die in your throat. You let yourself believe that coming home tonight would fix everything; you just had to go inside, talk to Jungkook, tell him you were sorry about what you said – and the rest would just do its thing and you'll be back to okay.
But he's moving out, and every bit of hope in you shuts down.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while, and you’re just about to turn on your heels to go to your room but then he utters lowly, almost like a whisper.
“It’s not final.”
“Hm?” You hum, not sure if you caught that.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Jungkook looks away as he says again, “I mean, I’m just looking. I was gonna talk to you before I finalize my plans.”
“Talk to me? Why?”
“Since we’re on a joint lease and all that.”
“Oh.” You nod to yourself, dumbfounded. It's embarrassing the way you lit up with expectation when he said it wasn't final, for it to completely die anyway when he said that. You feel like you're not wanted. “Yeah. Right.”
“I assume you’re tired from your shift, though, so maybe we can go over it tomorrow? Or any day you like, really.” Jungkook shrugs.
“No, tonight’s fine,” You wave your hand, walking towards his direction and seating yourself on the chair beside him. You try to focus all your attention on the screen in front of you instead of Jungkook’s overwhelming presence. You’ve always thought he was big but tonight, he feels even bigger and you’re intimidated. “Are you writing a notice to the landlord?”
“Yeah – I mean, after we talk about the move, that is.”
“Wow.” You can’t help but let out. “You really thought about all this while I was away?”
You regret the words just as instantly as they leave your mouth.
Looking at Jungkook hesitantly, you watch as his face falls, mouth opening and closing, as if at a loss for words.
You take them back before he says something. “Sorry — I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” Sharp and edgy, clipped and… angry. Sort of accusatory. Like you’re pinning something bad on him.
“It’s fine.” Jungkook says after awhile, returning back his gaze on the laptop.
His withdrawal makes you deflate. He seems so uninterested. Is he done with you? Just like that?
“You know what,” You utter after a pregnant pause, standing up from the chair and getting back on your feet. “I actually have a headache. I think we should go over this tomorrow.”
Jungkook looks confused but he nods, anyway. “I just… stocked up on Advil yesterday. So, if you need it… it’s just in the kit.”
“Sure. Thanks,” You give him a small smile. “I’ll, just go, uh, shower for a bit.” You point to the bathroom across from you.
Before you go, Jungkook calls your name.
“__.”
You turn around to look at him. “Yes?”
“Are you…” He trails off. You wish he’d look at you like he usually does. “Are you back for good?”
You don’t expect that question at all. But you collect yourself on time to respond. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
Jungkook’s expression is something unreadable, so you throw him an awkward smile. You’re not sure if he returned it, because everything is becoming too much, and you can’t help but overthink every single thing he does. So, before you can dwell on that, you go straight to the bathroom to do your business.
You shower quickly – you can’t focus when you know that Jungkook is just outside, and he can probably hear the water running. You’ve never really paid thoughts to these stuff except the first few weeks of moving in with him, but right now, there’s a certain awkward tension in the air and it’s slowly suffocating you. You needed to get out of the shower box quick.
And so you did, but you don’t expect the series of knocks on the door, with Jungkook’s voice behind it.
“__?”
“Y-yeah?” You stammer, wrapping your towel around you (that Jungkook thankfully hasn’t thrown out yet) with haste and getting to the door immediately to answer him.
When you open it, Jungkook visibly freezes for a bit. And you realize you’re in nothing but a piece of cotton; bare underneath, droplets of water running through your body from the tips of your uncovered, wet hair.
You consciously tighten the towel around your body, making sure to act unbothered when you say, “What?”
Jungkook seems to snap out of the moment just as you did. When you follow the hand that he lifts, you see your phone in it. Weirdly enough, you had time to notice the way the device fits so small in his hand when you can barely wrap your phone around your fingers yourself.
What the actual fuck are you talking about, you tell yourself at the back of your head. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—
“You left this on the counter. Mingyu’s been calling you.”
It’s like you’ve been suddenly hit by a truck upon hearing the name.
“Oh. Okay. Sorry about that.” You take your phone when he offers it to you. You don’t know why but you avoid Jungkook’s eyes as you step out of the bathroom and press the decline button, causing the ringtone to stop abruptly.
You don’t look back at him as you enter your bedroom, locking the door and throwing your phone on the mattress and going straight to your closet.
Nothing much has changed since the last seven or so days. What would change, anyway? It’s not like Jungkook has some sort of business in here.
When you finished dressing yourself up with your usual pajamas, a worn-out tee and a pair of short shorts, you go over right to your bed, picking up your phone.
The notification bar says that you have six missed calls from Mingyu and two texts. An upgrade from his three to four times in the previous days.
See, it’s not only Jungkook or Doyeon or Nayeon or Taehyung whom you’ve been avoiding. It’s also Mingyu. The last time that you two talked was when you said goodbye to each other when he was catching his flight from the resort. You’ve completely shut everybody out after that thing happened, and again, it’s not your proudest moment. You’re only non-confrontational to a certain degree, but you usually handle your problems like a grown woman.
You just really don’t know how to handle this one.
But Mingyu’s been calling, and you haven’t answered or replied to any of his messages ever since.
It’s just… everytime you think about him… it hurts.
It hurts to think of somebody you’ve given your trust to, only for them to step on it without any remorse. It hurts that you once thought he was going to be the one, only for him to end up as someone you’re starting to… hate. It hurts extremely that just eight days ago, you held this high level of adoration for him, but now you don’t feel anything at all but simmering anger.
Sighing, you click on his message instead of sliding it out, gearing yourself for what you’re about to read.
gyu😽 [10:15pm]: Dinner at my place tonight? gyu😽 [10:32pm]: Can you pick up my calls?
You scrolled through the other ones he sent in the past week, and you find out that they’re simply just a variation of “do you want to have dinner together tonight”, “why aren’t you picking up?” and shockingly… a couple texts of “i miss you”.
You’ve only been bullshitting when you told Jungkook that you had a headache, but right now that excuse might be true because you can feel a tick in your head, a certain bang on the front, and you just want all of this to end.
Letting out a controlled breath, you swallow the lump in your throat as you type a reply. Finally.
You [10:50pm]: Can we talk tomorrow?
To your surprise, Mingyu responds quickly.
gyu😽 [10:51pm]: of course. dinner?
You [10:52pm]: yeah. i get off at around 8 tomorrow.
gyu😽 [10:52pm]: I have some paperworks to attend to but 8 is fine by me. gyu😽 [10:53pm]: Can we go to a restaurant? gyu😽 [10:53pm]: I haven’t cleaned my place so I thought we could go outside
You [10:54pm]: It’s alright. Also, no need to pick me up. I’ll uber.
gyu😽 [10:55pm]: You sure?
You [10:56pm]: Yeah.
gyu😽 [10:56pm]: Alright then.
You don’t get a lot of sleep that night.
“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late. The partners had a meeting over at the firm,” Mingyu says, loosening his tie a little, breathing a bit sharp as he takes the seat across from you.
You nod, giving him a small smile. Taking a sip from your water, you watch as Mingyu fixes his tie again, some sort of attempt to look kempt, like he hasn’t just run here. He was in a rush, and you feel bad that he had to go over here quickly when the partners meeting was probably something important. He could’ve canceled and you wouldn’t have mind.
“So. Hi,” Mingyu greets you as if he’s making up for his rash entrance earlier. He gives you a smile, the one that’s his usual charming smile – you remember fawning over it the first time you met him. “How have you been?”
“Fine. I’ve been doing well.” you answer. In your lap, your fingers fiddle with each other.
You’ve thought about how you are going to go over this, but obviously the scenarios that played in your head yesterday and before you went here were so much more different than now. You weren’t an anxious mess in your imagination.
Mingyu nods. “That’s good to hear. Been doing fine as well.” He says casually.
That makes something flare up in your chest.
Fine? He’s been doing fine?
Before you can say something, a waiter comes up to your table to give you the menu, and that effectively keeps you from saying the words you were probably going to regret as soon as they come out of your mouth.
You both tell your respective orders to the waiter before he walks away, leaving you two nodding and smiling ahead. When he’s gone, you’re left alone with Mingyu again.
You look at him — and his usual suits and tie ensemble would usually make you gush internally about how good he looks, how you can still see the way he’s built under the pristine fabric of his clothes, and how attractive he is the way he carries himself.
“I’m glad you called me tonight, sweetheart.”
And you don’t expect the way the hairs on your body tingle with… ick.
“Sure.” You say, drinking from your glass of water again.
Just get over it, your mind convinces you. But how are you going to approach it?
Moments pass and then suddenly, Mingyu lets out a heavy breath. You peer up at him, raising a brow.
“Alright, I’m not gonna skirt around this anymore, __,” He says, and his eyebrows are knitted in what seems like confusion when he meets your gaze. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been avoiding me.”
The confrontation somehow eases you even though it shouldn’t.
Licking your bottom lip – an anxious habit that you try hard to forgo – you compose yourself before you say, “I have. Yes, you’re right.”
“Why?” Mingyu asks with genuine curiosity.
Somehow, this bothers you. Does he really not know or he’s just pretending not to know? Whichever it is, it does not really make you feel any better about him. If he’s pretending not to know, then he’s an even bigger asshole than you’re letting him on, but if he does not know, then that’s just even worse. Imagine doing all of those things and not being aware that you did something wrong enough to upset people?
“I have to be completely honest with you, Mingyu. I want to break up.”
The words come out easily as opposed to what you expected.
Somehow, it’s strange, really. You’ve never dumped anybody before. Of course, you don’t count those casual dates you’ve had in the past two years because they were never that serious. But usually, in your long relationships, the other guy does the dumping and never you.
So, right now, as you sit across from Mingyu, finally declaring what you’ve been thinking over the past week, you feel a sense of liberation. A cliché, really. There’s a feeling of discomfort gnawing at some parts of you, but you choose to ignore it, bravely meeting his gaze instead.
“What?”
“I want to break up with you.” You reiterate, this time fuller so he knows your decision is final.
His mouth opens and closes, and there’s a pregnant pause that hangs in the air before he finds his tongue. “But why?”
“Are you serious?” You can’t help but snap. “Do you really not know?”
“No. Fill me in, because I’m confused.” Mingyu doubles down, and it fires you up a little bit.
“Mingyu, Jungkook told me everything,” You say, and you notice the way his expression changes into something more… unreadable the moment you dropped Jungkook’s name. “And I mean everything. What you did with his girlfriend back in college, and what you said about me to goad him into a fight. I mean, what were you thinking, Mingyu? All of that was just… low. Even for you. I can’t believe you’d do any of that.” You catch your breath after you say the words, not realizing how heavy it would feel to let them out. You’ve never been confrontational, would prefer if the other person did all the talking, and to do this right now is taking so much from you.
“He told you everything?” Mingyu asks again. You watch as he relaxes his posture, and you grow confused when his lips curl into a smirk. “I knew he would do that. Come crying to you with his lovesick head. Did he finally grow some to tell you he loves you, then?”
You recoil, not expecting that. “That’s none of your business.”
“It is my business. You’re my girlfriend.”
“I’m not anymore.”
Mingyu inhales a sharp breath. “So, you’re choosing him?”
“I—I— what?” you blurt out, surprised at his audacity. “I’m not choosing anybody. And it’s really bold of you to assume that you’re still one of my options after all that.”
Scoffing, Mingyu drinks from his water. He looks at you with a blank stare as he says, “Well, be honest with me now. Do you love him?”
“Do I love him?” You chuckle, not the least bit of humor in it. “You don’t really deserve my honesty, Mingyu. You had all of those four months to be honest with me and you didn’t do shit. Don’t ask me any personal questions and expect me to give you an honest answer. Because I won’t give you any of it.”
“You said a lot of things but I know you love him just as much as he loves you.”
“What are you talking about?”
This time, Mingyu’s tone borders on sharp when he leans down to get to you closer so you can hear him clearly. “You think it was easy for me to be in a relationship with you when all you could talk and think about was Jungkook? Jungkook who was only supposedly your bestfriend?” It’s said with so much wrath that you can’t help but physically recoil at his words. When you don’t say anything, Mingyu continues, “Jungkook told me this movie’s good, Jungkook said their aglio e olio tastes great, Jungkook and I were just talking about this — I could go on how many times you’ve always managed to insert him in anything even when we’re together, but I did not want to be that kind of boyfriend who got jealous over their girl’s friends, and I was that for you – and you think I’m the bad guy here?”
You blink, mouth opening and closing. You fish for some words, something to defend yourself with. Have you really said all that? Did you really do that? Did you really talk about Jungkook enough times that Mingyu took notice of it?
You’ve always thought that your friendship with Jungkook is platonic. You’ve convinced yourself of that and Jungkook seemed to think the same — at least that’s what you thought prior to his confession – and you like to think that your friendship works, even though the majority of people don’t agree that opposite genders can be purely friends.
But… did you think wrong? Did you really just convince yourself it was platonic when all along… it was not?
You don’t exactly recall the moments that you talked about him while you were with Mingyu. It’s hard to when talking about Jungkook just comes like second nature. You don’t count the times you see the grass being green – because they are and will always be green.
And that’s what Jungkook is to you. He’s been such a constant presence in your life that you can’t help but bring him up in any case because… because it just feels right to do so.
Now you think about your relationship with Eunwoo. How he never really liked Jungkook. Did he think the same as Mingyu? Did you also talk about your best friend too much in his presence? Did he count the times you mentioned Jungkook’s name in your conversations? Do you really talk so much about him?
“See?” Mingyu says after a while and it snaps you out of your stupor. “Don’t tell me I’m a liar when you’ve also been lying to me this whole time.”
“How dare you?” You snap at him. You can take him pointing out about the thing with Jungkook, but never this. “I didn’t hide anything from you. I was not the one with the history of cheating with their friend’s girlfriend and I didn’t talk behind your back like you’re merely just a piece of meat.”
Mingyu visibly stills and you bite your lip after saying the words. You didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Didn’t really mean to say that in the first place. But it’s done and you can’t cry over spilled milk.
Doesn’t negate the fact that you feel like shit, though.
“You think I didn’t regret what I did?” Mingyu says, a little quiet this time. If you weren’t at the quieter part of the restaurant, in a booth where the sound of the classical music and people’s chatters are muffled, you won’t hear him at all. “Jungkook and I were close, __. We really were. And I fucked up and ruined his trust. But you also don’t know how and why that happened. Jiyeon was already cheating on him before she hit on me–”
“Oh, so is that the part where you volunteered to be one of her “victims”, too?” You say sarcastically, cutting him off, incredulous about the fact that he’s really trying to make excuses for himself right now.
“We were fucking drunk– and high, okay? We didn’t know what we were doing.” Mingyu says through his teeth, and it’s the first time you see him lose control. He’s always so kempt and so composed, it’s baffling you’re seeing him in this state.
But you refuse to believe his bullshit.
“You know what, I don't know why you’re saying this to me. You should be saying this to Jungkook and frankly, I simply don’t care. What happened back then is between you – don’t include me into any of your arguments ever again,” You say exasperatedly. “My issue is that – and why I’m breaking up with you in the first place – is that you lied to me, Mingyu. You lied to me about so much. And If I were to go through this relationship with you longer, I don't know what else you’re going to lie to me about, and I don’t want that. Let’s not waste each other’s time and end it right here, right now.”
Mingyu leans back on his seat. “I can’t change your mind even if I apologize to you about that, huh?”
You shake your head.
He nods.
“Alright.”
You look at him again.
Kim Mingyu has sharp features that usually make him look broody from an outsider perspective, but you’ve seen the way he smiles and how gentle he looks when he does. Right now, though, he looks… genuinely sad.
He lied to you, yes, but somehow, there’s still some part of you that wants to know if he felt the least bit genuine about you. That it wasn’t all just a ploy to get to Jungkook.
“Did you really like me? Even for a moment?” You break the silence, voice breaking slightly at the end.
Mingyu looks up at you and you don’t expect the way his lips curl up into a small smile. “Yes, __. I did. I liked you the first time we met and believe it or not, I still have feelings for you right now.”
You look away to avoid his intense gaze.
It’s weird. It’s so weird. Because even though you know in your heart that he’s not and will never be good for you and that he’s not a loss, your heart still aches at the declaration.
“I don’t really know if I believe that.” You say, almost like a whisper.
“I’m sorry, then.” Mingyu says, and it sounds so sincere that you start to feel some sort of stinging in both sides of your eyes.
In what seemed like forever, the waiter arrives with your orders, and you both look up and offer him a hand in placing them on your table, bidding him thanks as he once again walks away.
You and Mingyu both look at your food.
“I think I’m going first. I have a trial tomorrow, so I need to take care of that.” He says suddenly.
Nibbling your bottom lip, you watch as he begins to fix his shirt, ready to stand up.
“Okay.”
“__?” You look up at him when he calls your name. He seems to hesitate for a bit, but he says, “Can you… can you tell Jungkook I’m sorry?”
Staring at his face, you try to look for a hint of sarcasm. Or anything indicative of malice. But all you see is sincerity.
At that, you shake your head. “No.” Mingyu’s face falls. “Talk to him yourself if you really are sorry. I’m not your mailman, Mingyu.”
He sighs. “Alright. I guess you’re right,” And then, “And I’m saying sorry, to you too, you didn’t deserve that. I was angry, and that’s not an excuse. So, I’m sorry. Will you…” he clears his throat. “Will you ever forgive me?”
You shrug. “I don’t know. Probably.”
Mingyu gives you a timid smile. “Okay.”
When he takes out his wallet and a black card from there, you instantly stop him from calling over the waiter.
“No, it’s fine, I’ll take care of it. I’m the one who invited you here.” You say, talking him out of paying.
He shakes his head, insisting, “It’s okay.”
“Seriously, I can handle it.”
Mingyu lets out a chuckle which makes you smile a bit before you scold yourself.
“I know. But can you let me? This is… this is probably the last time we’ll see each other.”
At that, you relax back in your seat, staring at him. He stares right back at you.
With a slow nod, you let him call over the waiter.
He departs with a small goodbye that you return with a timid wave.
When you go home that night, you cried yourself to sleep, thankful that Jungkook hasn’t come home from his shift yet.
Things are… fine.
Unlike your previous break-ups that left you in agony for the following days after it happened, the one with Mingyu did not really leave a huge emotional impact. It makes you wonder if you’ve overestimated your feelings for him… makes you question yourself if you really thought he was the one when things were fine, and you both dated happily.
You don’t bother yourself looking for answers, because the relationship is done and there’s no point in going over the details when it’s you yourself who ended the ties.
While that is not the sole reason of your melancholic feeling these days, it lies on another person; your roommate, Jungkook – your best friend of eight years who’s apparently been in love with you the whole time.
It’s only been a few weeks ever since you talked about him moving out. He said it was about time for him to leave the place – he’s been here longer than you, after all. He wrote and sent the notice to his landlord, and it’s been about two weeks since then, so you assume he’s already got his approval.
While things may look normal and right from an outsider’s perspective… things aren’t exactly the way they were before.
Jungkook and you are close. You share almost everything together. Your friendship has been honed throughout the many years and obstacles you’ve faced together and so it’s only natural for you two to be as close.
But nowadays… you can feel that closeness slipping away. It flares up something inside you; like that feeling of grief when you remember that friend in highschool who you stopped talking to after graduation. You don’t know exactly what the reason is for the abrupt end of communication, but the finish line is there and you’ve both reached it without the other knowing – and you’re left fending for yourselves, looking ahead at your own worlds and letting your lives flow to the stream of the river.
It’s strange, really; how everything feels somewhat normal but also really under that condition.
Jungkook and you would text each other nonstop – he could be in his own room, and he’d still text you about random shit that ends up with him going to your room anyway just to annoy you for a bit before you kick him out and you both go to sleep. He’d ask to borrow something – anything, ask your food preference for the night, and he’d always ask you when your shift ends so you can go together if your schedules align. Meanwhile, you ask him to join you in the living room for spontaneous movie nights, ask him to give you a massage, and you’d both talk about your days, catching up on the hours you weren’t together.
And now there’s none of that.
Now, you both greet each other when the other one gets home almost like a chore. Like how your roommate from college used to welcome you when you arrived at the dorm from classes. When either you or he is in the living room or something, you’d both tell each other that “Dinner’s in the fridge, you can microwave it”, instead of “What do you think we should have for dinner?”. Jungkook asks if you need a ride to the hospital because he knows you don’t have a car anymore, but you refuse because it’s obvious it’s just for formality.
You don’t know if it’s just the overthinker in you, but it feels like Jungkook’s pulling back and he has no intention of making things right – or talk about what happened.
He’s so… he’s so civil.
And you miss him so much it makes you sad.
It makes you confused. Sort of mad. He makes you feel a lot of things – but you hate that you’ve just been compartmentalizing and not doing any processing at all.
You spent the past few weeks pointing out to yourself the differences that your relationship is going through. You spend some nights beating yourself up whether to go barge in his room and confront him with everything – but you do none of that.
Instead, you pretend everything’s okay. At the hospital, you’ve no longer avoided him and said hi which he returns with a smile. Nayeon, Taehyung, and Doyeon, thought at first that everything’s back to normal, but you know they’re slowly realizing that it has not.
Tonight, though, at Nayeon’s reception party after her wedding, you try hard to ignore all those angsts and choose to enjoy yourself instead. It’s Nayeon’s big day. The last thing you wanted to be was a bum.
Everybody is socializing with each other, and since you’ve had your fair share of conversations with other people at this point, you choose to sit out on the dance.
Suddenly, Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl is playing and the majority coos and exclaims in excitement as they hurry to the dancefloor, some taking their partners along with them.
“Look, they’re playing your favorite song.”
Your head snaps to the side in reflex to see who it was, only to see Jungkook. Words get caught in your tongue for a moment, a bit surprised to see him. You mean – sure, he’s been here for a while. It is Nayeon’s wedding, after all, but weirdly enough, you two haven’t shared a conversation yet throughout the day.
Until now, anyway.
Recovering from your initial surprise, you scoot over to the side, giving him space to maybe… sit beside you?
“That’s not my favorite song.” You scoff, sipping on your champagne right after, looking right ahead as you feel Jungkook situating himself on the chair beside you.
“Oh… has it changed now?” Jungkook says, and there’s a lilt of teasing tone to it that you look at him in wonder.
Meeting his gaze, you find he’s just smiling at you. He’s in an off-white tux, a lily pinned on his chest pocket. He’s done his hair in that usual way he cleans up for formal events like this, gelled and parted slightly off center to show off his forehead. It’s slightly longer than you’ve last noticed it looked, and you think he hasn’t been trimming it…
Nonetheless, he looks simply put… dashing.
“I change my favorite song every five to seven business days,” you say coolly. “Anyway, why aren’t you there?” you point to where the flock of people is having a ball to Billy Joel.
Truthfully, you kind of wish you were there as well. You’ve always danced to that song in your room or in the shower.
“I’m right where I want to be,” Jungkook shrugs. “Why aren’t you there?”
You lie, “I’m right where I want to be as well.”
He hums. “You don’t want to show them your moves?”
You look at him in disbelief, gawking at him. “Are you teasing me?”
Jungkook widens his eyes, but you know he knows what you’re talking about, and it sounds like he’s trying to keep from laughing when he says, “No. I just happen to know you’re a great dancer.”
With that, you feel yourself getting carried away by how easily your conversation goes. It makes you think about the old times – where talking to him always made your day because he's funny and he makes you laugh and you make him laugh.
“Fuck off. You know very well I have two left feet.” You chuckle, shaking your head at him.
“Wasn’t the case when you were dancing inside a boiler room during med school at that rave party we went to, but okay.”
You can’t help but laugh louder, and with that, you jab a lighthearted slap to his bicep without thinking too much of it.
“I told you that never happened.”
“Oh…” Jungkook puts down his champagne and cocks his head to the side. “What happened?”
You giggle. Yes, giggle. Like a schoolgirl. And you watch as Jungkook joins in your laughter, taking the glass close to his face to sip from it.
Then: “You wanna dance?” Jungkook suddenly says, but he’s looking at the dancefloor.
“Hm. Dunno. Uptown Girl isn’t exactly rave music.”
That earns you a chuckle from Jungkook. “But it’s fun music, right?”
Soon after, he stands up from his seat. You look at him questioningly, but he mirrors it back with an expectant gaze and a raised brow. Seeing you getting apprehensive, he offers his hand and that’s when you roll your eyes, taking his hand as you pretend to stand up against your will and follow him to the crowd.
You chuckle as Jungkook suddenly sways his hips to the upbeat of the song, moving his arms around playfully. You’d like to think he’s doing that intentionally – to make you laugh? Loosen up? Whatever the idea behind it, it’s effective, because you can’t stop laughing as you watch him.
“Come on, we do this all the time!” Jungkook says over the loud music and people’s candid chattering.
And he’s not wrong because you do have mini parties in the living room of your apartment, pretending like the city before the glass wall across the area is your audience.
But you two are usually drunk during those moments, and right now, with only one glass of champagne, you’re not near being tipsy.
“This is so silly!” You exclaim, but you find yourself matching Jungkook’s spontaneous choreography, and it earns you a laugh from him as well.
“And when she’s walking, she’s looking so fi-i-ne,” Jungkook sings along, gesturing to you. You cover your face because you can’t stop laughing at how he looks – how you two must look – but you’re almost sure nobody’s paying attention because everybody is just having fun on their own. He has a good voice, though – even though he’s trying to act goofy with it. Jungkook doesn’t like when people point it out, or more like, gets shy when you bring it up.
Suddenly, he steps closer to you and reaches for your hand. Looking at him with confusion, still with that wide grin on your face, he gives you a playful smile before he guides your arm upwards. You utter a sound of a delighted snort, understanding where he’s getting at. With Jungkook guiding you, you do a mildly successful turn that makes you both laugh because as you were just getting back in your original position, you almost trip. Good thing that Jungkook’s there to catch you by the waist, the contact only lasting for a brief second before he lets go to dance on his own again.
“I wish I was an uptown girl!” You yell over the music.
“You’re kinda an uptown girl if you think about it.” Jungkook responds, nodding his head as if he believes that.
You chuckle, shaking your head at him. “No.”
“Yes, you are. You’re sophisticated and elegant.”
“Well, this—” you point between your bodies, “– is not very sophisticated and elegant of me.”
“Touché.” Jungkook laughs.
“But will you be my downtown man?” You say, not really thinking too much about it but then you suddenly realize what you just said and you’re about to add something to it – like putting a disclaimer that it was just a joke.
But then Jungkook leans closer, ducks down to level with your ear. “I can be if you want me to.”
The song ends and you barely had time to process what just happened before the soft piano progression of Carole King’s Will You Love Me Tomorrow begins to play.
You hear the collective “Aww”s from the audience and you watch as everybody suddenly pairs up with someone else. As the first lyric of the song is sung, you can feel the upbeat energy from earlier dropping to a calmer atmosphere. Romantic, you’d say it is.
When you look at Jungkook again, he has a small smile on his face. It’s as gentle as the piano behind the song.
“Can I?” He says.
You nibble on your bottom lip. “You want to?”
Jungkook only nods, still smiling.
“Only if you want to as well.”
You look around again. It’s not hard to spot Taehyung from afar on the dancefloor as well, with a gorgeous Hyerin in his arms. He doesn’t seem to notice you looking, though, but you watch the way he ducks down to whisper something in her ear, prompting a laugh from her.
Putting your gaze back to Jungkook, you blink as you say, “It’s… okay, I guess.”
“Okay?” Jungkook clarifies. You nod your head and he smiles that dashing smile again before he steps closer to you.
Slowly, he puts a hand around your waist. And you know he did it awhile ago, but the contact ended so briefly that you didn’t really have the chance to… somehow… savor it, maybe? But right now, as you fumble with your own hand, deciding whether or not you should put a hand on his waist as well, the proximity makes your breath hitch.
Your heart beats abnormally fast against your ribcage, and usually, it’s not hard to stare Jungkook in the face – but you find it a difficult task to do nowadays.
Jungkook, unsuspecting of your inner dilemma, only seems to notice your confusion with your hand placement, chuckling as he guides your wrist to his shoulder. He raises his other arm with yours and interlocks your fingers with his mid-air.
“There,” Jungkook says once you’re in the right position. “Now we look like professional dancers.”
You wince. “What’s the next step?”
“You’re taking this very seriously,” Jungkook snorts as he begins to move his feet.
You try to match his pace, and that distracts you from the fact that you're so close you can smell his cologne very well.
“Where did you learn this?” You ask instead, quite amazed at how Jungkook is approaching this. It’s not like you’ve never slow danced in your life – but you weren’t kidding when you said you have two left feet.
“Wikihow.”
“Wow.”
“They can be super reliable at times,” Jungkook chuckles as he continues to swing you both gently. “Stop looking down.”
You groan. “Ugh, no. I’m trying very hard not to not step on you.”
“So what if you step on me? Just relax.”
Jutting your bottom lip out, you look up at him. “My heels are Louboutin.”
“Even better.”
“Stop.” You break away from his hold with your other hand to jab at his chest lightly. Jungkook lets out an “Owe!” but you know it didn’t actually hurt when he just grins down at you, placing his hand on your waist instead so now he’s just… simply holding you.
You ignore the weird feeling in your chest at the action, choosing to keep your hand on his chest.
“You wanna know something?” You whisper. Jungkook hums. “I didn’t go to prom in highschool.”
“What? Why?” Jungkook genuinely seems surprised to hear that.
You smile sadly, looking back at the memory bitterly. “Changsub and I were fighting around that time because I saw him at the mall with some girl the previous week. I was so angry that I didn’t care about what I’d be missing out on. My mom tried really hard to get me to attend, but I was very stubborn. Now I still regret not going to prom. My dress was really pretty back then too but I didn't even get to wear it.”
“Damn,” Jungkook utters. “He really was such a dick to you, huh?”
“Yeah. But it was still on me, though… I can’t believe I let a boy make me miss out on prom night.” You pout.
Jungkook’s quiet for a while before he abruptly stops his swaying. You look at him in confusion as he lets go of your waist.
“Well, I don’t have a corsage… but this can maybe do?” He fumbles with his chest first before he takes out the silk lavender handkerchief from his suit’s pocket that matches his tie and the lily on his chest. He looks at you for a while before he takes your wrist in his hand. Your brows knit together as he ties the fabric around your wrist, making sure to finish it up with a ribbon – an attempt at a ribbon, that is.
You chuckle. “What’s this?”
Jungkook grins. “You wanna know something too? I didn’t have a date on prom night – was too scared to ask anybody out. I went home after the first hour. Wasn’t really a fond memory. So, prom night definitely sucked for me… what I’m saying is that, it’s not really all that.”
You duck your head down to laugh, partly to hide the flutter in your heart at his words.
“So, like, is this our – what – our upgraded prom night?”
Jungkook nods proudly. He takes both your hands as you laugh, wrapping them around his neck, taking you by the waist again.
This time, you don’t feel like your breath is being taken away.
You feel… serene. The beating of your heart is back to normal. You realize, there’s a sense of comfort that comes from being close to him like this – talking and laughing like good old times.
You miss him. You miss him so much and you can’t believe you ever considered accepting a life without him in it.
“The dress looks good on you, by the way,” Jungkook comments, and it sounds so sincere that you can’t help but smile. As if that wasn’t enough to melt your heart, he adds, “And you look really beautiful.”
“T-thanks,” you stammer, taken aback at the almost intimate way he looks right into your eyes as he said that. You tighten your hold around his neck. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
“Thank you.”
You both chuckle, though there was nothing really funny said in particular.
Carole King’s gentle voice soothes you as Jungkook takes the lead of the dance. You’re not even doing anything other than just going with the flow, letting him take you wherever. There’s a moment when you were sure you stepped on his shoe, but Jungkook’s quick to dismiss you with a hush and saying it was nothing.
Tonight with words unspoken,
You say that I’m the only one
But will my heart be broken,
When the night meets the morning sun
You scoff as you finally hear the lyrics.
That may have taken a hit on you.
“This is so stupid.” You say.
Jungkook’s quick to react.
“Rude. I’m literally giving you a prom night from scratch.”
You look at him and you feel bad because he genuinely seems offended at your supposedly throw-away comment.
Shaking your head, you tap his chest lightly. “No, no. I mean– the lyrics. The song.”
Jungkook arches a brow. “I have a video of you crying over this song in your car when it came up on your playlist.”
“I didn’t cry over this song.” You roll your eyes.
“Not as much as you did over Silver Springs, anyway.”
“Oh my god, why do you know so much, Jesus,” you hiss, embarrassed at being confronted by your dramatic antics. “I just meant, why are they playing such a sad song at a wedding? Who approved this?”
“Eh,” Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe Nayeon’s a Carole King fan.”
“Is she?” you ask, genuinely curious. If she is, she never told anybody.
“Maybe…?”
You can’t help but laugh because of how the conversation progressed. Jungkook laughs as well, and he takes the jab you send to his chest with a light hand. They’re really hard, you think, and you don’t know what comes over you as you lean your head down and let your body fall towards him, laying your cheek on the lapel of his suit. It’s warm.
You feel Jungkook stilling in his position at your sudden action, but soon enough, he does nothing to pry you off like you feared for a moment he would, tightening his arms around your waist and swinging you both in that kind of laxed way.
Shutting your eyes close, you let the soft melody of the song ease your nerves, basking in Jungkook’s presence and his familiar scent.
You stay like that for a while, and just when the song is coming to an end, you feel Jungkook’s breathe in your ears, his lips almost brushing to the tips of your ears when he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything back then, but I really miss you too.”
You drank more champagne than you anticipated and it’s why you wobble your way into the bathroom to do some half-ass retouch. Just as when you were putting away your make-up, Nayeon comes out from one of the cubicles.
“Hey, you gorgeous, gorgeous girl,” She says with a huge smile, now changed into a much simpler dress, in contrast to her voluminous one earlier.
You mirror her grin, opening your arms wide to engulf her in a hug. “Hi to you too. Congrats again on the wedding. I’m so incredibly happy for you. You and Minhyuk are perfect.”
When Nayeon breaks apart from your hug, she looks at you closely. “I saw you with Jungkook earlier. Lots of people saw you two earlier.”
“What?”
“I mean… slow dancing to Will You Love Me Tomorrow in a weirdly intimate way was kind of insane, if you ask me.”
“Oh, uhm…” you feel blood rushing to your cheeks as you grow embarrassed at the thought of people catching you in that position. You remember after the song ended, you made up some excuse about going to the bathroom to pee and you did – but you pointedly tried to stay out of Jungkook’s sight ever since.
One step forward, three steps back.
“How are you two by the way?”
“We’re fine.” You say, giving her a reassuring smile.
Nayeon stares at you for a moment. Then, she sighs. “You’re not, are you?”
“No, we really are. We’re– we’re talking, right?” You point out.
“But… he’s moving out of your place.”
“Well, he needs a change of scenery. He’s been there for four years so he must be tired living there.”
Nayeon stares at you again and when you look at her face, your heart twinges as you see the disappointment written all over her features.
“I don’t understand you both, really. You have this… this beautiful thing going on and you’re choosing to ignore that? It’s obvious that you feel something for him, __. Just be honest with him and see where it goes. I know you two are pretending that everything’s fine but you’re both hurting each other and you’re acting like it’s nothing – it’s all just unnecessary angst at this point. What are you two doing?” Nayeon asks.
“I…”
“Come on, __. Do you really want to let each other go? Do you really want to drift apart? Because it’s been almost a month of pussyfooting. And I don’t know if you’re just expecting that your luck is not gonna run out, but it is going to. And I know you’re going to regret it.”
You stare at Nayeon while listening to her words. You don’t expect the sharp edges to her voice. You’ve always thought that if someone was going to call you out on your bullshit – it was going to be Doyeon. She’s the bluntest in the group and would not hesitate to tell someone if they’re being a bitch or not – so you don’t expect Nayeon to be like this at all because she’s always been a soft-spoken sweetheart.
It's not like Doyeon hasn’t been harsh, either, though. You had a drink with her and Taehyung a month ago and let’s just say she kind of ranted about you feeling like you’re in a romcom or something.
She shuts her eyes close, and you can just feel her frustration emanating. “I’m sorry – I know I’m being harsh right now. But I just can’t bear seeing you two like this. I just got married today and I feel like I’m learning and realizing so much right now and one of those is that I’m extremely lucky to have found someone I’m so sure of, and while Minhyuk was saying his vows I looked back at my past relationships and just thought that… that I’m so glad I was finally at that point and… and right now I can’t stop thinking about you two,” Nayeon sighs. “You two love each other so much. Everybody can see it. Why are you both running away from each other? What gives?”
You look away.
You both do love each other. They are right.
And while you can’t exactly say if what you feel for Jungkook right now bounds in being in love – there’s quite literally only one thing in the world that you’re certain of, and it’s that he’s the most important person to you – the only one you can think of spending a lifetime with and not get sick of it.
And that was something.
But…
“Because it’s scary.” You say, finally.
“What’s scary?”
You inhale a sharo breath.
“For eight years I’ve always thought that we were only platonic. But somewhere in my head I always thought that he was my soulmate, you know? I thought about us ending up together and I remember liking that thought. But years went by, and nothing ever happened and I swear I was happy with Eunwoo but you know what I’m ashamed of all this time that I never told anybody?” Your vision of Nayeon gets blurry as you begin tearing up. “I think… I have been in denial for so long. I think… I think I secretly looked for a part of Jungkook in Eunwoo and I think Eunwoo knew that. I think everybody who I’ve ever been with knew that except for myself. Because I was in denial. Even right now, I’m still in denial. You don’t know how – you don’t know how strange it is to suddenly wake up and realize that you don’t see your friend as a mere friend anymore. You don’t know how hard it is to overthink things – like what if it doesn’t work out and everything falls apart? Our friendship is so important to me, I hold it in the highest regard, and I don’t want anything to ever go against it. But now I’m doing that myself and I just… I hate it. But I don’t know what to do. Jungkook’s moving out just like it seems like he’s moving on and I’m scared that I’m too late to do anything.”
Your speech leaves Nayeon’s mouth agape, clearly not expecting your outburst. But she recovers quickly. She steps closer in front of you, and in a second, engulfs you in a hug.
“I’m sorry,” you sniff, making sure to not let your tears fall down her dress. “I think I’ve been keeping that for a long time.”
“It’s okay… I’m glad you said that.”
“Yeah… I think I’m glad too,” you both chuckle.
“__?”
You hum.
“Just talk to Jungkook. If you’re worried about him moving out, he’s not. I can tell you that much.”
You break the hug and look at Nayeon. “Nayeon, he literally has everything packed. I think he’s leaving early in the morning tomorrow.”
Nayeon fixes a strand of stray hairs from your hair framing your face. “Hm. He has?” You nod. “Well, as I said, he’s not leaving. Trust me. But you have to tell him everything that you told me just now. Be honest, __. It feels scary right now but, try to take a leap of faith, okay? This is not some toxic positivity shit or anything like that, but just be honest, alright?”
Nibbling on your bottom lip, you look at her hesitantly. “Are you… are you sure?”
Nayeon nods, and she looks so sure of herself that it may have fired up a little bit of hope in you.
The party is still ongoing, but you decide that it’s time for you to clock out. After you bid your goodbyes to Nayeon and her now husband, to Doyeon and to Taehyung, you head out of the venue to try and book a taxi. You couldn’t find Jungkook earlier at the party, so you decided to send him a text that says you were going home.
“Need a ride?”
The ever-familiar voice expectedly appears to be Jungkook when you look at him.
“Hey,” you greet. “No. I was just about to book an Uber.”
Jungkook’s brows furrow. You think he looks handsome under the moonlight. “We can ride together in my car. I’m going home as well.”
“N-no, no, ‘s really fine,” you wave your hand, emphasizing your point.
Jungkook grows more confused. Then: “Are you drunk?”
You wince, hating that he instantly knows right away.
“Sorta, kinda…”
“And you want to Uber?” You pout. You hear him scoff. “There’s no way I’m leaving you alone in this state. Okay, let’s get you to my car.”
“I’m fine, really,” you say but it sounds whiny even to your ears.
“You can be stubborn all you want. But in the passenger’s seat.” Jungkook gives you a sharp stare, but his hold on your wrist is gentle as he guides you to the parking lot.
He wears the seatbelt around your waist and lets you settle on your seat, rounding the car to get behind the wheel right after. You look away. You thought he'd be more... not nice to you since you just left him earlier with a poor excuse.
You feel guilty. So guilty. Jungkook is so... he makes you feel so loved but you're just... so confused. You're so scared it doesn't even make sense.
When he starts the engine, he asks, “Why did you drink so much?”
It's easy to ignore the heavy thoughts in your head when you're half-asleep at this point.
“I dunno. The champagne was so good… I bet it was probably expensive. I can’t have that much free stuff until –” you stop, as if remembering something, sitting upright. “When is Taehyung’s wedding?”
“He doesn’t have a wedding, ba—__. He hasn’t proposed to Hyerin yet.”
You slump in your chair hearing that.
“Why? They’re so perfect together… they should marry…” You say before dropping back down to your seat again. The AC in Jungkook’s car whirrs softly in your ear, and when you look to the side, you find yourself staring at his side profile.
He’s taken off his white coat, now left with a white shirt and his purple tie. He’s pushed the sleeves up to his forearms, showing the veins all over them.
“Jungkook.” you call him.
“What is it?” He says, momentarily looking at you before focusing back on the road.
“Can I…” you look at his hand. You sniff. “Can I hold your hand?”
Well, he does not expect that at all. But he smiles anyway, taking off one hand on the wheel and reaching for your own hand over the center console. You watch the way his huge palm dwarfs your own, and you almost sigh in relief when he laces his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as he rests it over his thigh.
The last thing you hear is Jungkook’s soft chuckle before you completely drift off to sleep.
When you awake, you’re in your room. Seconds after regaining consciousness, you notice the banging in your head – and when you blearily open your eyes, reaching around for your phone, you don’t find it.
Groaning, you stand up from your bed, realizing you’re now in a shirt and some pajamas. But weirdly enough, you seem to still have your bra on.
You peek through the inside of your shirt and alas, the white lace of your bra from last night’s event welcomes you, and when you stretch the waistband of your shorts to check on your panties, you still adorn the pair of white thong, which means only one thing.
You haven’t changed completely out of the garments you’ve worn to Nayeon’s wedding and you wonder how it all happened. When you look to the side, your clutch is placed on the nightstand and so you grab it, relieved to find your phone there.
Shockingly, you read it’s only over 2 am.
With furrowed brows, you go over to the mirror to check your ensemble. Your face isn’t and doesn't feel as heavy with make-up as it was back at the venue, and you’re definitely dressed down now.
You remember passing out in Jungkook’s car after he insisted that you ride with him… and everything had been a blur since then.
Suddenly, an idea goes into your head.
Did Jungkook… change your clothes and remove your make-up? That’s the only plausible thing that you can consider because you honestly don’t remember ever dressing yourself or going to the bathroom to remove your make-up. And if you did change out of the gown, you would've opted out of your underwear as well.
Maybe Jungkook did all that.
And the thought makes you smile. But it drops just as quickly.
You head towards your door and go straight knocking on Jungkook’s bedroom.
You don’t expect him to be awake at this point, but when you hear steps coming your way and the doorknob clicking, you stare at Jungkook wide-eyed when he welcomes you with his presence behind the door.
“Hey,” He greets, predictably surprised to see you. “You’re awake.”
“Yeah…” your eyes don’t mean to subtly roam his room. Then that’s when you catch it. The bags lying around his bedroom floor and the neatly piled boxes to the side. Your eyebrows meet each other. “You’re packing?”
Jungkook nods. “I’m leaving tomorrow, I told you that, didn’t I?”
“Y-you did, yeah.” You stammer, blinking at him. You suddenly feel like throwing up. “Well, I just came to thank you for…” you trail off, gesturing to your clothes.
Seemingly getting what you mean, Jungkook’s lips curl up into a coy smile. “I hope you don’t mind. I tried to wake you up, but you were complaining about your dress when you were sleeping…”
“Yeah… I’m glad you took it off.” You wince. “That sounds wrong. Anyway, the make-up, too. I have to ask, did I throw up on you?”
Jungkook laughs, incredulous. “No, no, you didn’t. Are you seriously worried about that?”
“I just feel bad.” You give him a tight-lipped smile.
“It’s okay. You should sleep now, it’s late. Do you have a shift tomorrow– or later, actually.”
“Yeah, I do. But it’s the evening shift. So. You?”
“I have the morning until three in the afternoon.”
Nodding, you ask, “Are you leaving at three then? I mean, to your new place?”
“Yeah. Will just pass by here to get some of my stuff.”
You try to look for something on his face. But Jungkook looks casual at best. Now you remember what Nayeon told you. Was she lying when she said you’re going to convince Jungkook not to move out? Because from the looks of it, Jungkook doesn’t seem like anything would budge him from leaving tomorrow. He seems so set on a mission, and you can’t lie and say that it doesn’t break your heart.
You find yourself thinking about the events at the reception party. How he threw you a quick prom, told you you were beautiful… how he said he missed you.
Was that all a lie? Just something he said to avoid some sort of dead air?
Because if he truly misses you, then why would he leave?
You find yourself getting annoyed.
“I’ll be back to my room.” You say to get out of the situation. You notice Jungkook getting taken aback by the change of your tone, even more so when you turn on your heels quickly to take the two strides it takes you to your own bedroom.
In there, you throw yourself on the mattress, the impact affecting you a little bit. You must still be drunk because you feel your vision getting blurry a bit but as you quickly shut and open your eyes, everything goes back to normal.
You sigh.
Well, maybe you’re actually meant to be alone and it’s true that you’re not meant for any romantic relationships. You’ll die alone and you’ll just have to deal with the heartbreaks you went through your whole life.
A stray tear escapes your eye, and you quickly raise the back of your hand to wipe at it. You glare at the wall dividing your and Jungkook’s rooms, finding it annoying that you’re not really mad at him. It’d be so easy if you were mad at him… but you have no reason to.
But why is he so stubborn? Why isn’t he saying anything? Can he just… can it just be him who takes the leap of faith, so you won’t have to? You know that’s unfair, though. It’s juvenile.
In a burst of courage, you take one pillow from your bed and stomp your way out of your bedroom, finding yourself in front of Jungkook’s room again and knocking.
He opens it, rightfully surprised to see you again. “H-hey, __, I thought—”
“Can I sleep here?”
You can see the way his face contorts into confusion. “What?”
“Can I sleep in your room?” You reiterate, but you’re already forcing your way in. You throw your pillow on his own heap of dark ones, frowning when you see the bags on the floor. “Are you just going to pack forever? You’ve been packing since yesterday.”
Your clipped tone throws Jungkook off a little bit, but he doesn’t point that out, though, when he speaks. “No. I’m actually done now.”
“Okay? Well, then, let’s sleep.” You say, staring at him. He looks stoned in his position from the edge of the bed, so utterly confused.
“Are you… still drunk?”
“What? No.”
“O… kay?” Jungkook looks extra cautious when he seats himself on the mattress by your feet. “Are you sure?”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. About not being drunk and… sleeping here.”
“Yeah,” you answer, pointing out the obvious. “Why are you acting like we haven’t had sleepovers before? You used to sleep in my room when there was a spider in your closet.”
Jungkook makes a face. “It was a huge spider.”
You roll your eyes, going into a lying position, making sure to leave some space for him on the side. “Jungkook.”
“Okay, I’m going. So demanding.”
He playfully clicks his tongue as he lays on the bed as well, sliding his body across the mattress. He doesn’t expect the way you take his arm to spread it on your side of the bed, and you don’t let him say another word when you lay your head on it, keeping your hands close to your chest as you snuggle beside him.
You could feel there was a moment there that Jungkook stiffened for a bit, but he relaxes just as quickly, feeling him caress your head tentatively as if feeling you out before he goes for it completely.
“This is what you’re gonna be missing out on when you move out.” you mumble.
You’re grateful when he only says: “Hm?”
“Nothing.” You open your eyes and because of the close proximity, your eyes are at the level of the side view of his chest, and you see the way his thin white shirt clings to his body, rising up and down with his breathing. “I saw your keys earlier. I’m glad you like the Claddagh.”
Jungkook laughs. “The Claddagh, huh? I knew you knew what that keychain meant,” You frown when you realize you were supposed to pretend you didn’t know that. Oh, well, he figured you out right away, anyway. “I really like it, by the way. It was very thoughtful,” Jungkook says. You can’t see him in your position, but you just know he has a smile on his face. He sounds like it.
“Thank you. I thought about gifting you a watch… but watches are expensive, so…” You decide to joke, and Jungkook laughs which makes you smile.
“I would choose the Claddagh any day. I just… I really like it. I interpreted it as a deep sense of belonging and shared history, and I’ve known you for eight years, so that seems very fitting. I’m glad you chose to give me that.”
It was also a reminder of your relationship. Your love for each other. The loyalty that lies in its foundation, and how you’ve managed to build that over the years. Jungkook’s ultimately your soulmate – that you’re sure of – even though that’s a bit of a cliche and you don’t exactly believe in it entirely. A bit of a conflict, really, since you’re a hopeless romantic.
But you’ve long known that you and Jungkook are more than just friends. You trust and respect each other beyond words – and it’s more than what you could say about your previous romantic partners. Sure, there was that sense of admiration for one another with your ex-boyfriends, but Jungkook is different. He’s always been different.
You’ve known that all along – but it’s only now that you decided to read between the lines.
And you want to tell him that. So badly. But you choose to let the gentle tips of his fingers lull you to that comfortable annexe of warmth, easing you from overwhelming thoughts.
Has Jungkook always felt like the embodiment of comfort for you? Has he always felt like everything good you can imagine having in your life?
Then, you feel him lean down to the top of your head. “You smell so nice. You aren’t my soulmate after all.”
That makes you violently crane your neck up to look at him. “What?”
“There was this article that Tae sent to me. It was from Cosmo, I think. It says you’re not supposed to be able to smell your soulmate.” He says, looking so serious that you can’t figure if he’s bullshitting you.
You lean on your elbow so you can look down properly at him, saying, “That’s not even plausible. Since when was Cosmo reliable to you? That’s ridiculous. We literally have four hundred different types of olfactory receptors which help us perceive various smells – I mean, unless you’ve damaged them somehow, or there’s a disruption in your signal transduction, or you’re anosmic – which I know you’re not – then I don’t think that’s true.”
Jungkook laughs and you can’t help but frown.
“It made sense, okay? If you ignore the science stuff.”
“You’re a doctor.” You quickly counter.
He rolls his eyes. “I mean, for the record, I believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life, so that’s that.”
“Ugh,” you flop down on the bed again, falling back on Jungkook’s body. He scoots closer to hold you close against him, which you welcome casually. You don’t even know how you got this comfortable, but you’re glad either way. He feels so big and warm. “Are you going to show me that Youtube video of top ten UFO sightings around the world again?”
“You don’t think that Nebraska one looked very real?” Jungkook says with disbelief.
“No,” you turn to Jungkook only to find him already looking at you. “They were college boys, Jungkook. They probably just turned nineteen or something. Have you seen their eyes in the video? It was pixelated as hell, but if I were that high—”
Jungkook suddenly snorts, effectively cutting you off. “Ohh, if you were that high?”
You jab at his chest which only makes him laugh louder.
“I tried my first weed with you.” You pout.
Jungkook catches the stray hair that falls from behind your ear and hides it back there again as he says, “You coughed nonstop and had a sore-throat the next day. You have baby lungs.”
You roll your eyes and go back to lying on his arm. “Whatever. All of that still doesn’t justify that we’re not soulmates.”
“The concept of soulmates doesn’t even have a scientific explanation.” Jungkook chuckles.
“No…? But there's psychological research about it; the attachment theory, look it up.”
“There’s also cognitive dissonance.” Jungkook pitches in.
“That’s so mean!” You gasp, but you know Jungkook’s only teasing when you see that he’s got that huge stupid grin on his face.
He apologizes in between his laughter, squeezing your waist a bit before he says, “Okay, okay. But what if you’re my soulmate, but I’m not yours?”
“That’s not how soulmate-ism works. Isn’t it nice to think that there’s like a system to it? Like if you’re my soulmate, then that would automatically make me your soulmate. It doesn’t make sense otherwise.” Your eyebrows knit together as you explain.
“I guess you’re right…” Then you hear him letting out a loud sigh. “For what it's worth, I think I’d be really happy if I was your soulmate.”
You smile against his pec after he says the words.
You like Jeon Jungkook. You like him so much it’s starting to feel unbearable.
There’s silence that hangs in the air for some time before you look up at Jungkook alarmingly. “Kook.” He doesn’t say anything. You lean on your elbow again to peer down at him, only to see that he’s now closed his eyes. “Jungkook.”
Finally, he stirs. But his eyes are still closed. “Hm?”
“Don’t sleep yet.”
“Uh-huh.” He gives your waist a brief squeeze again.
“I’m watching you.”
He chuckles. “What is it?”
“Let’s talk more.”
“How are you still not sleepy?”
“Because…” you drop your head down to his chest this time. “I want to know if you could ever —” you shrug, staring at his ceiling. “—cannibalize someone.”
“I like this. Conversation’s getting raunchy,” You hear him snorting through his breath. “Is this your pillowtalk?”
“Yes.”
“In that case, that’s an interesting question. I have never really thought about that.”
“Really? Never?”
“I’ve never been in any situation where I had to think about that, thank god.”
You laugh together. “Okay, but if you really had to, would you?”
“I don’t know… I’m a huge germaphobe, you know that. But I guess humans inherently have indomitable spirits and that conditions us to do whatever it takes to ensure our survival under extreme conditions. I don’t think I’m beyond that.”
You nod against his chest. Mindlessly, you start tracing random lines over his shirt, and you wait for Jungkook to pry your hand off or say something to stop you or ask you what you’re doing, but he doesn’t really say anything.
“It’s fascinating, right? The way we can just alter our brains and mindsets when we’re put under certain conditions. It’s amazing and weird at the same time how we work psychologically.”
“Exactly.” You feel Jungkook nodding.
“This is– of course this is not an extreme condition where I have to cannibalize someone,” you chuckle, which earns the same thing from Jungkook. You continue, “but you know when you’re experiencing a heartbreak and you think it’s the end of the world but then you wake up one day and suddenly you’re fine?
When Jungkook turns quiet, you know you’ve touched on a subject that feels personal.
You sigh. “I broke up with Mingyu awhile ago.”
“Oh.”
You hum. “Yeah… like a month ago?”
“Ah. I had a hunch.”
“But you didn’t ask,” you smile. “Well, anyway I just want you to know.”
Silence.
Then, “Do you feel… do you feel sad about it?”
“That’s what’s weird,” you say. “Because I don’t necessarily feel sad about the break-up, or the relationship. But it’s more like – the thought of breaking up with somebody again.” You chuckle, but there’s no humor to it. “I feel like you can only take so many break-ups in your life before you completely give up on love, you know? And it’s like… I don’t even get it… I mean, I’m decent, aren’t I? I can hold up a conversation, I make sense, I have a good job, and I don’t look bad – although, maybe that’s what’s wrong all along?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “Am I ugly?”
“Hey,” Jungkook calls, and you feel him rising from his lying position just as you feel tears slowly streaming down your face.
You scold yourself for it – because what the hell even is this about? Just earlier you were talking about cannibalism and now you’re tearing up. Your emotions are all over the place, and it doesn’t help that Jungkook’s quick to dote on you, guiding your back as you both sit on the bed instead.
You inhale a sharp breath. “Look at me, I’m a mess,” you look at him through blurry eyes, hoping to look apologetic at the very least for barging in his room at fuckass o’clock and disturbing his packing and not noticing that he’s been in love with you for the past eight years. God, you want to say sorry for a lot of things. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s not that deep.”
“If it’s bothering you then it’s a big deal. And I’m looking right at you,” Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulders as he looks you in the eyes. “I’m looking at you and you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, and you’re the funniest person on Earth I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m so glad I met you.”
“Well… do you still feel that way when I only ever seem to come to you when I wanna vent or cry?” You ask, attempting to joke, but your voice breaks at the end.
It cracks a smile on Jungkook’s face though. “That’s not true at all. You also come to annoy me.”
Your laughter turns into a sob and that’s when Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his side, letting your head fall to his bicep and resting his chin on top of yours. It’s a barely-there gesture, but you’re pretty sure you feel him kiss the crown of your head.
“I know… I know we still have a lot to talk about, __. That we’re glossing over the important things. But I want to say sorry. I never said sorry about what happened back at the resort. For Mingyu. For doing what we did. I never said sorry about bombarding you with all those things and for taking so long to talk to you just because I was scared. But right now, I’m saying sorry. I have been completely unfair to you all this time.”
You quickly get out of his hold to look up at him. “No, you—”
“Just…” Jungkook cuts you off. “Just let me, okay? I know you’re gonna say none if it was my fault but you’re right about what you said. You’re right about doubting my feelings for you.”
“Jungkook…”
He nods. “I was in denial for the most part about my feelings for you. Ever since that thing happened with Jiyeon in college, I found it hard to trust somebody again. I slept around in my last year of college because it made me feel good about myself, made me think I was desirable and that someone cheating on me doesn’t mean shit when I had all those women who willingly slept with me. I was like that during my first year in med school, too. Couldn't really get serious with somebody because – because what if they do the same thing again?” Jungkook smiles bitterly. “And then… I met you. It started out as a crush and I was so sure it wasn’t going to be more than that, but then, we were in almost the same classes and we became friends,” Jungkook looks at you fondly and you almost melt in his arms. “And then I found myself liking you, and then I fell hard – really fucking hard,” he chuckles to himself. “It was during spring break of second year when I realized I was fucked and that I was in love with my best friend.”
“S-spring break?” You whisper, not sure what he meant.
“You don’t remember it?” Jungkook asks. He looks over your face and suddenly he’s caressing your cheek with his fingers. He swipes his thumb over it, wiping a stray tear away. He smiles before he says, “I caught the flu that time. I called you, but you were over at your parents. Then the next day I woke up and you were at my place telling me to take care of my health because how can I study medicine when my immune system is shit.”
“Oh, that…” you trail off. Suddenly, the fragments of that time become clear to you. The flu wasn’t that bad, only took him three days to fully recover.
“Yeah. But then that was also the time when you told me Eunwoo asked you to be his girlfriend and that you said yes.”
You inhale a shaky breath.
“I– I tried to forget about my feelings, because I didn’t want to harbor all those feelings for you when you already had a boyfriend. I went to all those dates in the hopes that I could feel something from someone. I tried to date Sora. It was good. It was a good partnership. But then… Eunwoo proposed, and I don’t know – I guess I deluded myself so bad that I have fully moved on from you since then – but then I was faced with the reality that you were going to spend your life with somebody else and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was so bad at handling my emotions. So stupid. Sora broke up with me because she figured I love you.”
You stare at him with your mouth agape. You would've never guessed why they broke up. You always thought they were so perfect for each other…
“And yeah, the break-up with Eunwoo happened and it took you two years to heal. I didn’t want to make a move because I simply didn’t want to be that kind of guy who takes advantage of a woman’s vulnerability after a break-up, you know? And we moved in together two years ago and…” You wait as he trails off. “I guess I just got comfortable with our set-up.”
“How do you mean?”
“It was like, everything I imagined us to be. Living together, sharing everything together. I thought no one could take that away from me, even if I didn’t ask you out. I’m not telling you to believe it, but I wasn’t with a lot of women for the past two years… yeah, sure, I dated them very briefly, but it was out of genuine attempt to find somebody for myself because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing. Being your best friend was and still is more important to me than being your boyfriend. I couldn’t care less how I can have you; I want you in any way – and if that meant being your platonic friend the rest of our time, then I was that. I am that. Even now.”
You can’t find your words. You’ve imagined your talk countless times in your head, but they all fell short to give you a taste of what the real thing would be like.
“So… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping my feelings for nearly eight years. I’m sorry I kept something important to you about Mingyu. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. Just… I apologize. I feel like I broke your trust.”
It’s quiet for a while before you break the silence.
“Jungkook,” You call him. He meets your gaze. It’s soft and it’s sweet and you realize he’s always looked at you like that. How could you have not noticed? “You’re very important to me.”
“I’m glad.” He smiles. A small one that makes him look all boyish. The urge to keep him in your pocket even though he’s much bigger than you becomes huge.
“And I want you in any way, too.” You say, staring intently at him.
You watch as Jungkook stares back at you. There’s an agonizing stretch of seconds when you see his eyes darting down from your eyes to your lips, and you don’t mean to bite the bottom one, suddenly feeling the thick tension rising in the air.
“Can I hug you?” You swallow the lump in your throat.
“I would really love that.”
You don’t know how it happens, but the last thing you see is Jungkook’s wall clock pointing to 3:15 am before you let your eyes rest.
[ READ BELOW ]
this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene of the chapter and the EPILOGUE or click on this [ link ]
#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#bts smut#bts fluff#jeon jungkook x reader#fic: tlp#awrkive
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KENMA RELATIONSHIP HCS
gn!reader, timeskip mentions
isn't a pda guy, but will fall asleep on your shoulder/rest against you as he games, and if you play with his hair, who's he to say no?
if you change your contact name in his phone, he keeps whatever it is, even if it's super silly or cheesy. like okay call "my honeybear darling angel 😚". he says it's because he's lazy but he does find it kinda cute/amusing
you cheer for kenma at practice in like, a sort of exaggerated way, like "gooo kenma!!! yeaahh!! let's go kenma!! kenma! kenma!" and he tries really hard not to look at you—not because he's annoyed, but because he doesn't want you to notice how red his face has gotten. his teammates point it out anyway
lol his team using you as motivation. "don't you want to impress them?" and kenma's like 😒😒 but gets up from the floor
kenma teaching you how to play his favourite (co-op) video games!! he's pretty patient and explains things well, so if you don't have a lot of gaming experience, don't worry too much ^^ buttt if you're competitive, get ready to Compete. he seems like someone who doesn't take it too seriously unless you start (jokingly) shit talking him
he'll try out any games you like too, even if it isn't something he'd pick himself. he doesn't really plan to when you're describing it, but then he thinks about it, or sees a post mentioning it, and the curiosity (And Affection 4 U :3) gets him
easily notices if you've gotten quieter/tired when you're out. if you're with a group, he'll tap your shoulder and offer his own, ask if you're alright, and or make up an excuse so you can both leave. if it's just the two of you, he's quick to find a place to rest for a while
he'll never make you join if you don't want to, but fans eat up any videos or streams with you—they make edits and compilations of you walking in during streams and everything. the amount of begging for a q&a and story time of how you met is crazydsjdhsj
chat is soo annoying about it too /lh "no they're not single," "i know they're out of my league," "yes they were my first subscriber," kenma telling you not to answer them when they ask if he's clingy, etc etc
! i think it'd be cute if you guys had matching phone cases, but his fans didn't know until you showed up with the other one. and they realize Just how much he has on that's matching you—the bracelet and necklace that they catch glimpses of under his hoodie, the hoodie itself from the same line as yours... yeah.
time for "he said no pickles." unless you also don't like asking/don't care,, then you guys can just take the pickles off together <3
^ if it's a serious mistake they made with your food, kenma's a lot more compelled to approach the counter.
would teach you about stocks. if you asked
mutual info dumping and yapping... he's very aware of how much he's telling you the first couple of times, but gets more comfortable when you do it back !
^ kind of guy to do his own research afterward. he makes a semi-obscure reference/joke the day after and you're like ???? Who told you that.
kind of boyfriend who hears you go "i want him" "wait why's this character kinda..." and isn't like, that offended or put off by it. says "understandable" (or questions your taste), but knows they're a character at the end of the day
quality time kind of guy. people know you're special even if they don't know you're dating because you can convince kenma to go to events or try something new when they wouldn't expect it. (obviously it's never something crazy out of his comfort zone, and it's probably because he knows you'd feel better with someone with you, but he's going all the same!!)
kenma isn't the best with receiving words of affirmation or gifts... he appreciates it, but gets awkward and doesn't know how to react ^^; you reassure him that he doesn't have to jump for joy or be super affectionate back—he shows his love in his own ways !
his gifts are very thoughtful. he gets you something practical, and then things that you've really wanted for a while. his cards aren't filled with long letters of adoration, but they're genuine and very much kenma. (+ having money in the timeskip doesn't mean he'd ever buy something expensive or flashy just because it might be 'easier.' it means he gets to buy you way more merchandise for your favourite media, paying the shipping fees that kept you away.)
you get him a super thoughtful (and maybe expensive) gift and he Lights Up. and then he's like ? you remembered / really paid that much ? really ? and he keeps smiling when he looks at it..
kenma coming downstairs with super bad bedhead and pouting when you snicker. but then he relaxes as you comb your fingers through to fix it
tying up his hair... a little ponytail or bun...
matching pajamas... or those fluffy headbands you wear to wash your face... he looks so silly and cute
university student kenma who walks in visibly irritated, and you know you're about to shit talk his group members or professor together.
late night breakfast. sitting in the kitchen eating bowls of cereal past midnight
! late night gaming sessions... and or sometimes you fall asleep waiting for kenma to finish, then wake up to realize he fell asleep at his desk. you have to coax him into bed after saving the game for him
very nervous during the first year you're together any time there's a holiday, especially valentine's day or your anniversary. he wonders if his plans and gifts are enough, not romantic enough, too boring, if you'd rather do something exciting, even if logically he knows you'll like anything he thinks up
sometimes you guys will just lie on the floor, stare at the ceiling together, and talk. maybe there's music, a game menu screen playing in the background, or you're just listening to the birds and neighbours outside. floor time is healing all the same
bleaching kenma's hair + him helping dye yours... timeskip where chat asks if you've done your hair recently because his hands have been stained :')
it's super easy to team up with kuroo to tease him but also ! teaming up to taunt and prank kuroo !! think of kenma laughing bright and loudly, eyes squinting and arms clutching his middle !! kuroo can't be that mad because he's happy someone else can get kenma this happy too
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#osamu post later#haikyuu x reader#kenma x reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#kenma x gn!reader#haikyuu fluff#kenma fluff
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Drew Starkey and actress!reader are dating for a long time now, he's invited to be present at the premiere of the film where his girlfriend and Jacob Elordi are part of the cast. Drew gets kinda jealous of the chemistry between them, during the scenes of the film, the interviews, the fans who ship them...even he knows they're just a good working duo and he's a good guy...
(Also it's a bit similar to how reader felt between Drew and Odessa cause they're very close each other, except that with Jacob it's much more faithful than they are...)
Can you write this please 🙏
jealousy jealously - DREW STARKEY
authors note thank you for this request. please let me know what you think of it. i haven't written something like this before and it was cool to write for sure. i hope you like what i wrote and it was what you hoped. sorry it took awhile for me to upload this, i had the request saved in my docs and finally got to it. feed back is always appreciated <3
requests are open
summary you are staring in a movie alongside jacob elordi. your boyfriend of two years, drew starkey, gets a little jealous of the chemistry between jacob and you even though he knows you two are good working partners.
warnings jealousy, kissing, acting, mentions of sex
Tonight is the red carpet premiere of your new movie, which will be released in theaters all around the world tomorrow. You are one of the main characters in the movie, and your co-star, Jacob Eldori, another main character and love interest.
You can't wait till tonight since the movie has been the talk of the town for months. The actors and fans are thrilled that the film will be released tomorrow. You and the cast are seeing it tonight, and we can't wait to see how it turns out.
Everyone is welcome to bring a guest. Drew Starkey, your two-year boyfriend, will be your plus one for the premiere. He is also an actor, well known for his role as Rafe Cameron in the Netflix series Outer Banks. He was so happy when you invited him.
The outfit you have on tonight is a lovely long black dress that falls to your feet and is complemented by black high heels with sparkle. Your makeup artist and you settled on a more natural look that will make your eyes stand out more. The hair is curled.
"I'm so proud of you, baby," Drew said, holding your hand and lightly squeezing it as you two came to a complete stop in the SUV.
Your heart melted hearing those words, “thank you bubs, I love you so much,” smiling up at him.
“I love you more though,” he playfully argues back, grinning.
The entire cast was already getting their pictures taken on the red carpet along with other well-known celebrities. You can tell how crowded it is outside just by gazing out the window.
When you first went onto the carpet, you took a few solo photos before moving on to photos with Drew. The paparazzi's lights flashed back and forth, calling your name and uttering weird things in order to get you to turn in their direction.
The film's director and producer requested everyone to gather for a group photo for the paparazzi. Seeing everyone was the icing on the cake for you. Promoting the movie with them was a blast. It's a joy to be able to collaborate with such talented actors too.
Jacob approached you when you were talking with your manager, Britney, about giving a couple of interviews, engaging with fans, taking a group cast photo, and then stepping into the venue. Drew was next to you, his right hand on your lower back, but drew you closer when Jacob approached.
Drew's body tenseens as he holds you tight. You place your hand on his free hand, gently stroking it with your thumb to reassure him. The only reason he acts this way is because he sees how Jacob looks at you when he knows you are with Drew.
“You are okay, don’t worry” you whispered so only Drew can hear.
“You have nothing to worry about baby,”
Drew feels the same way about Jacob as you did about Drew and Odessa when they began filming Helrasier. The opening scene of the movie made you uneasy since your partner was having sex with someone who wasn't you, but it wasn't real, just acting. Reading how many fans shipped them when they found out Drew and you were together.
You understand why he’s feeling this way. It’s not a good feeling to feel. Both of you have been in the acting business for a few years now and know everything’s professional.
Jacob knows his boundaries and only sees you as a friend.
As you saw the two tall guys in front of you shake hands, Jacob was asking about how things were going in Outer Banks season four filming. Drew will keep things professional no matter what, and he will keep his sentiments within you.
Jacob leaned in for an embrace, "have you spoken to any interviews yet?" he asks, pointing back with his thumb. "No, not yet, but will be soon, you?" you respond.
"No, not yet, but I heard they're asking some good questions and some that are questionable," he says hesitantly when questioned about the specific questions that may be asked.
You three had a lovely talk until Britney informed you that it was time for the interviews. You spoke with five different interviewers, and during those interviews, some of them questioned Jacobs and your friendship because the chemistry between you two is strong, talked about the film and how excited you are for everyone to see it, what it's like working with the cast, and, of course, Drew.
"One question I have to ask because fans have been begging me to specifically mention this to you," the interviewer laughs, catching you off guard by the first part of her sentence, "will you be appearing on your boyfriend's Netflix series, Outer Banks?" You couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Ahh, you are not the first person to ask me this question today," you add, adjusting your hair, "I guess you would have to wait and see if I’m on the show or not this upcoming season” shrugging your shoulders with a grin.
Everyone in the theater room was waiting for the movie to begin. The director stood next to the screen giving a small speech about the movie. Drew sat next to you, his left hand resting on your thigh and gently rubbing it with his thumb.
"Before the movie begins, I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and everything you have accomplished to get to where you are now, baby." Drew whispers in your ear, then kisses your cheek a few times.
You felt your face get red from his compliment. Drew told you multiple times this week how proud he is of you. Both of you have been so supportive of each other since before you got in a relationship.
“I love you bubs” you smile before kissing his lips.
When the lights dimmed down everyone cheered with excitement.
When you landed the part and read the script, you told Drew about the two parts in the movie where your character and Jacobs' character have sex. As a result, he was already prepared for these scenes in the film.
The movie has been great, everything you thought. You are so proud of your hard work and everyone else’s hard work that was put into this movie. Once the lights turned on, everyone around started cheering and clapping.
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ii Most Wanted Part 10: 'Til The Day I Die (1)
Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup"
Summary: How you and Sy overcome long distance. And what about your friends?
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, ANGST, FLUFF. Distance, horny, filthy Sy on video, electronic sex, masturbation, voice/dirty talk kink, glasses kink, size kink, Angst, Sex in committed relationship. Oral sex, female receiving, making love, raw p in v, fluffy Sy, future plans, your friends are menaces, and of course, so is Sy.
Read at your own risk. Not Beta’d. All errors my own.
A/N: This is the 10th installment of II Most Wanted. These characters won't quit, so this series will be extended, but not for much longer. Results from the wedding dress poll will be revealed in the next part. I'm in love with these two; they are bringing my writer heart back to life. If you like it, please reblog and comment.
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I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
Previous part here
———
Don’t open this in public.
You were intrigued when you got the notification, but you did as you were told, and put your phone back into your purse, catching up with your friends but with anticipation for when you got home.
It was just the second day back in your town, and you were out to dinner with co-workers who wanted to catch up on your new development. You’d just started to fill them in on you and Sy’s story when you got his message.
—--
The day before…
All morning, Sy thought of you and the picture you’d sent. He had to concentrate to work, and therefore was a bit of an asshole to the guys all day. He couldn’t wait to talk to you again. When you answered his call that evening, he’d been struck dumb.
“Sy? Are you there? Can you see me… can you hear me? Shit, this must be a bad connection.”
Sy seemed frozen, his mouth gaping open.
“I’ll have to call you b–”
“Wait, Buttercup, don’t hang up. I’m here.”
You smiled at him and settled back on your pillows.
“Good, You looked like you were frozen.”
“I was, kinda. I’m at a loss for words, Buttercup.”
You adjusted the glasses that Sy had never seen you in and patted your hair. You must have looked tired after a long day. You laughed nervously.
“You want to reconsider? You finally see me in my natural state. In bed, my hair up, in comfy clothes and glasses. Tired as hell. This is me. Sure this is what you want?”
You chucked your chin up as if you were ready to take a blow.
Sy recognized your anxiety and shook his head.
“I’m so sorry, Buttercup…”
Your heart dropped to your stomach. You bit your lip as you prepared for the worst. After all that happened this weekend, Sy was about to drop you like a hot potato.
“I need to ask you a question.”
“Sure, Sy.”
“Will you marry me? You are the most gorgeous thing on the planet. Good lord…”
You stared at him in disbelief, then laughed, wishing he were there so that you could punch him.
“You are a menace, Syverson, I swear.”
You sighed and brought the phone closer to your face.
“Of course I will marry you. I am marrying you. Can’t take it back now. I will hunt you down.”
Sy grinned at you, reveling in the fact that you actually wanted him too.
You grinned back at him.
“And you don’t have to butter me up. I’ll show you my boobs.”
“Mmmmmm. I’m not trying to butter you up, Buttercup. You are the cutest little thing in those glasses. Giving me all kinda thoughts. Can’t wait to see you like that in person and hold you again. But in the meantime, I’ll take you up on that offer….”
The next morning, even after having fun sexy time on the phone, Sy woke up with a boner and the memory of an extremely hot dream involving you naked on the kitchen table in those glasses.
And to make it worse, you had sent him a picture of you in those same glasses and his Army T-shirt the next morning. Sy was very hot and bothered.
Just in a slightly better mood.
—--
It was after 11 pm once you settled into bed and got your phone out.
You opened your text thread to see a graphic up close video of Sy’s cock, slick and leaking as he gripped it hard, fisting it brutally, his thumb swiping over the tip when he reached the top.
You clutched your pearls, but stared at the screen and opened the video, licking your lips and wishing that you were with him.
“Got me down bad, Buttercup. So fucking horny for you. And that picture. That. Fucking. Picture. Have so much cum for you I don’t know what to do with it.”
Your hand was on your neck and you dragged it down under Sy’s shirt to grip one of your nipples, squirming in your bed at the thought of the cock that was held before you. You couldn’t believe that Sy had recorded this. But you weren’t mad.
Not at all, although you felt faint and swore you had a fever. Your body was hot and your throat was parched and your eyes were glued to the screen
“Oh my god, Sy…”
You spoke to the image as if it were him and immediately put your hand down your underwear.
“Are you wet for me? If I walked through your bedroom door right now, would I find you playing in your panties?”
You heard him panting and then pausing what he was doing to squeeze the base of his cock.
“Fuck! I can’t stop what’s coming, Buttercup.”
Sy grabbed his balls up with his two smallest fingers as the rest of them squeezed his shaft tighter.
“Why can’t I stop? That picture. That’s why. Y’look so fucking cute and godamn sexy in those glasses and my shirt.“
You gasped. You thought the picture was rather innocent. You were fully covered up. And you never imagined that your glasses would be a sex aid.
“Well ain’t that a peach,” you said out loud and giggled at your use of a Sy-ism.
“The shirt is so big on you that it slips off your neck and I can see your collarbone and the hickey I put there the other day. The size of the shirt reminds me how tiny you are and how, how f-fucking tight your little pussy is… ugh.”
He sounded so desperate, and him handling himself was so erotic. Your clit was hard now and you were as desperate as your fiancé was on the video.
“I was hard all fucking day, Buttercup. But I didn’t touch myself until now. It was like I was punishing myself. But then I thought about punishing you…”
You stilled, heart almost beating out of your chest. Did he just say…?
“Yeah I said it, Buttercup.”
Sy panned the camera to his face and it looked fearsome. It made your heart thrill and you gush wetness over your fingers as you started again to rub your clit in tight, tight circles.
“I thought about spanking that beautiful ass of yours until it’s hot to the touch, then fucking you. Hard.”
You swore you saw his blue eyes actually flash through the screen.
“ …just until you are ready to cum. Then stopping. Making you wait, like I have to, to feel you again…”
You whimpered.
“...making you get on your knees and feeding you my cock until both of us are dripping wet and can’t handle it anymore. FUCK! Can’t stop thinkin’ of that mouth of yours, fucking your throat until tears run down your face and then letting go all over you, and getting those glasses filthy with my cum.”
“Fuuuuckkk! Sy!”
Your fingers were touching yourself, but Sy’s words were getting you there.
“Christ, Buttercup! You drive me crazy woman.”
You could tell that he was speaking through clenched teeth and was trying not to cum even though the camera was focused again on his cock. Pre cum almost continually squirted out of his tip, and his entire shaft looked glazed, like a donut. You licked your lips at the thought.
“Is your clit pounding all pretty like it does for me? Hm? After all that, I wanna eat you out, damn, I just want to taste you again, to wrap my lips around that pretty little clit and drink from that fountain, Buttercup.”
Your back arched as you remembered the burn of Sy’s beard between your legs. Your vision whited out as you came. You wanted him there with you.
“Bet you came right then. Nothing like the real thing, huh?”
Sy chuckled as he read your mind.
“Send me another picture like that and don’t be surprised if I turn up at your doorstep the next day. Don’t say anything, just take this cock in whatever hole I choose to put it in….”
Sy continued to speak until you witnessed his precious white cum spurt forcefully out of his cock, the sight making you touch your sensitive pussy again, this time moaning his name for your empty house.
Your mind was scrambled by the time he had wound down said a sweet and tame, “Goodnight Buttercup. Sleep tight. I love you. Talk to you soon.”
Sy had ruined you. You had to return the favor.
You looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost 2 am in Texas, so you didn’t call him like you wanted to.
Instead, you opened your own camera to record a special wake up call for Sy.
And that was how you kept your sexual connection sizzling across 1500 miles.
—-
Even though you had a fiancé, you couldn’t neglect the rest of your life, or the friends who had been constant in your life for 20 years. You looked forward to your weekly zoom with Carla and Tiffany.
Normally.
At the moment, you were being lambasted by your besties three states over.
“So… you come home for a reunion and we see you, what? A total of about 4 hours over the course of about 80?”
You tried to explain, but Carla interrupted.
“You right, Tiff! So what’s up Buttercup! You ditched your friends for some d– GIRL WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR FINGER!!??!??”
Your two best friends in the world start screaming.
“Is that the ring? THEEE Ring?”
Tiffany was up and gesticulating in her living room, her two teenagers looking at her like she was crazy since she had her earbuds in.
“Yes-”
Your explanation is interrupted by Carla again.
“Oh no you didn’t. Because you didn’t tell us about it. That better be a, ‘the pussy was so good I gotta give you some jewelry ring, and not the ring you gushed over in high school when you started writing “Mrs Jacob Syverson” all over your little notebooks. Not that important ass ring that probably means a very important ass thing that we have no idea about. Right?”
Now she was quiet as Carla and Tiffany waited for you to reply. You smile sheepishly and shrug.
“Wanna come to Vegas in a month?”
Tiffany threw up both her hands and screamed while Carla hung up.
But by the end of the night, they were both back on the call and on the same page as you. They listened as you explained how you came to realize that you didn’t want to waste anymore time because of what other people did and thought.
You told them how much you loved Sy and how much you wanted this. They couldn’t deny that you were right. They ended the call as your best allies who just needed to have a tiny talk with Sy.
—-
“I can’t believe that they went over to your house and threatened you.”
Sy only looked a little scared. You had to laugh.
“It was more terrifying than war, Buttercup. Those women are scary. We coulda used them in country.”
Then Sy was chuckling.
“They calmed down when I explained how much I love you, and how I would make sure that nothing or no one ever hurts you again. Even me.”
Damn. You really loved this man. You smiled at him.
“Well, I’m glad that you escaped unharmed. You might want to check Betty before you start it in the morning, though.”
“No worries. I set up a time for them to help me… for them to help me get something for the wedding. Everything is cool.”
You raised an eyebrow at your phone. He grinned.
“You’re so godamn cute, Buttercup.”
“What are you up to, Jake Syverson?”
“Just getting ready for the most important day in our lives.”
Sy smirked at you as you gave him a side eye.
“The question at hand, though,” He wiggled his eyebrows and held up his dominant hand then lowered it, and you could clearly tell what he was doing. “Is what are you wearing, Buttercup?”
You were successfully distracted.
—--
The first two weeks apart from Sy went by pretty quickly. You were very busy: You had to turn in paperwork, find a property management company, order moving supplies, search for a house cleaner and stager, and shop for wedding dresses with Carla and Tiffany virtually critiquing every choice.
You finally settled on the perfect choice for a Vegas wedding dress in July that was to your taste and that would drive Sy crazy. But you were exhausted. You didn’t have time to second guess yourself.
You texted Sy all day long and facetimed every evening. It wasn’t just phone sex; you talked about your plans for the future, your five year plans, and how you wanted your marriage to work.
“I want us to have a family meeting every quarter, even if it is just for the day, and check on the status of our marriage. Want us to adjust everything as needed, finances, individual and couple goals, and evaluate where we are with one another. And make changes if we need to.”
You didn’t know why you were surprised, but you were. You just didn’t expect Sy to come at you this way.
He laughed at the look on your face.
“I know that you think I’m the emotional one, and that you are the analytical one. But I don’t want us to take each other for granted. This is too important, Buttercup. This will be for the rest of our lives.”
You smiled and responded with your heart.
“Forever and ever, amen.”
“Forever and ever, amen.”
—
The last week before the 4th crawled by.
You were amped up, which gave you excess energy to get packed up. You tried not to bother him too much, because he was trying to tie a bow on some projects so that he could have time off for the wedding and honeymoon.
It just didn’t seem real.
Finally, Sy was getting on the road to come to you. You were nervous for the two days that it took for Sy to drive out to your place, talking to him much of the way to keep him company as you finished packing up the few things you wanted to put in the back of the Bronco.
You couldn’t sleep the night of the first day when you knew that he was sleeping just 10 hours away from you. The next morning, Sy confessed much the same.
Your car was picked up by the shipping company, and the storage container was delivered and set on the front lawn in the driveway the morning he was to arrive and you were at your living room window watching when you heard Betty Bronco turn the corner around 6 pm.
When you saw her down the road, you couldn’t help but take off on foot down the road to meet him, causing Sy to honk and stop the truck in the middle of the road to get out and snatch you up.
“Buttercup!”
He picked you up, twirled you around and lifted you over his head as you laughed and your soon-to-be ex neighbors looked at the scene curiously from their lawns, or their porches, or from between the slats on their blinds. Neither one of you cared about the scene you’d created.
You began kissing him before he let you down and slid down his body before he pushed you back away from him to look at you. Your curls were up in a puff and you had your glasses on and Sy laughed down at you, clad in one of his flannels and denim short shorts.
“Didn’t know that you stole that shirt too, Buttercup. You are so fine. And all mine. Soon to be Mrs. Syverson.”
He kissed you again, and before things got too heated, you pulled away and pushed him back toward Betty.
“Let’s get out of the road and into the house, Sy.”
He winked at you.
“Good idea, Buttercup.”
You practically skipped to your door as Sy parked by the curb and got his bag out of the back of Betty. You held the door open but as soon as Sy stepped foot inside, he slammed it shut and you against it.
“Hello, little lady.”
“Hullo Sy. I missed you.”
“No question I missed you too. But in less than 72 hours, we will be saying ‘I do.’”
Sy looked at you hungrily.
“Yes, Sir. You ready for that?
“Fuckin’ A.”
And Sy kissed you. Tentatively at first, rubbing his lips against yours, his beard tickling your cheeks, You put your hand up to rub your fingertips in it while he traced your lips with his tongue. You moaned, and thats when his tongue darted in to meet yours, re-exploring your mouth and causing yours to venture out and re-explore his.
Sy grabbed your hips and lifted you up so that your heads were level with each other and causing your legs to wrap around his waist. His hands explored under his shirt as yours went around his neck. And when you finally stopped kissing, you leaned your forehead against his, a little overwhelmed by the emotion.
“Sy…”
You whimpered it, your need emerging, but Sy let you down, letting your body slither against his as you gained your feet again.
“I know, baby. But show me around a little bit before we… show me around. Need to see how you are and how you are doing.”
You nodded and looked down at his shoes, which were huge next to yours. Why did that get you wet?
“Take those off.”
You did it first, showing him where to put them, and as he did as he was told, you backed up and admired your man. When he looked back up at you, he winked.
“Well, this is it. It’s not as big as your–”
“Our.”
“...house, but it’s been good to me.”
You showed him around the small dwelling, and he admired the craftsman bones of the house.
“Looks like you got most of everything packed up.”
You smiled wide at him.
“Had a burst of energy lately.”
“Hmmm. You were supposed to wait for me, Buttercup,” Sy said, turning his big body in the small, filled-with-boxes space.
“What are we gonna do for the next two days?”
You suddenly felt shy. He really made you feel like a kid again.
“Why don’t you take a shower? I’ll order some food. Maybe take a nap? You must be tired from the drive…”
Sy looked at you with an intensity that shook you to your core.
“I’ll take you up on that shower. Need to wash the road off. And go ahead and order the food if you want. Your favorite place. I am mighty hungry.” Sy’s eyes swept up and down your form and you stuttered.
“Oh-okay. L-let me show you the bathroom.”
Sy followed you and you felt his eyes on you as you got him set up.
“I’ll give you some privacy.”
Sy chuckled.
“Thanks, Buttercup. Won’t be long."
You were shook as you ordered Thai food and tried to make space at your small table among the boxes. You felt like it was 20 years ago, yet again.
In a few minutes, Sy came out of your master suite, clad in grey sleep pants. You tried not to stare, but hell, he was yours. You dragged your eyes up his thick, muscular form to his handsome face.
“Food’s here.”
You gulped as he held his hand out.
“Great. It’ll reheat, right? Cause right now what I need is to hold my future wife.”
You melted into him as he practically carried you back into your bedroom and laid you both down on the king sized bed that took up most of the room. You relaxed into his arms suddenly safe again. You thought about how he hadn’t immediately wanted to fuck. He’d asked about you and how you were doing. He was so pure.
“What are you thinking, Buttercup?
Sy whispered and brushed a knuckle over your cheek.
“Just thinking about what a good man you are,” you whispered.
“You are so good to me. Even when I was giving you hell about what happened 20 years ago…”
Sy chuckled.
“Never stop giving me hell, Buttercup. What I need is a woman who can keep me on my toes.”
You turned toward Sy and kissed him, causing a groan when you threw your thigh over his hips.
“There are a few things that I need to give you,Right here in your bed.”
“Our bed,” you replied as you arched your back and his lips ventured down the side of your neck.
His hands skimmed the side of your breasts, squeezing them gently through his shirt.
“I like the sound of that, Buttercup.”
Sy smiled into your neck, his voice was muffled since his lips were busy on your collarbone, making new marks, and his hands were busy unbuttoning and unwrapping you from his shirt. His eyes went wide as he leaned back and looked at your naked torso, then locked in on your eyes again.
“Missed you so damn much.”
“Me, too, Sy.”
Sy descended again to place his lips to your skin, covering your breasts with soft kisses, despite the pebbling, hardening flesh over your sensitive peaks. When he drew those into his mouth was when you arched into his hand, which had unbuttoned your shorts and delved inside to cup your moist mound.
“Damn, I can’t wait for you to be mine, fully. To carry my name…”
“I am yours, Sy. Til the day I die…”
Sy muttered a soft curse, squeezing his eyes shut, and he chewed his bottom lip, concentrating, as his fingers strummed you to the edge. He gradually increased the pace, as you widened your legs and held onto his shoulder. You rotated your hips, wining on his hand until he swore again and rubbed his thumb over your clit. Your orgasm ripped through you, intense and earth-shattering, causing you to throw your head back and scream.
“Holy fuck, you are so beautiful when you come. Give it to me.”
He leaned down and suckled at your nipple while your pulses slowed, then he scooted lower, dragging your shorts off and parting your thighs and propping them on his shoulders. He stared at it for a minute, while you brushed his now longer curls out of his eyes. He smiled at you and then your pussy.
“She’s so beautiful.”
You giggled, but it was cut short as his lips made contact. You felt the groan he emitted through your soul, and you had to bite your lip at the first brush of his tongue on the super sensitive skin that was still recovering from your orgasm. The first lick of your slick center had you clenching your hands into the sheets.
“Oh God.”
He lapped at you, kissing and exploring with his tongue. He took his time, seeming to be in no hurry. When his tongue circled your throbbing bundle of nerves, you flew apart in his hands again, but he didn’t let up. He kept lapping and slid a finger into you causing you to roll your hips and your legs to open wider.
Sy parted your folds to put another finger inside you, curled both of them, stroking over those bundles of nerves inside you as he pumped in and out as he suckled your clit. Your third orgasm rolled through you, on the heels of the one before it.
He drew himself back up your body, naked now, having shed his pants as you were coming down, pausing to nip at your hips and his favorite parts of you, then to suck at both breasts. When he made it to your lips, he whispered against them.
“That’s going to be a daily thing.”
“You could do that to me any time you want, Sy. Please, fuck me now. Please? Pleaseeeee?”
He shifted between your thighs and teased your slit with his leaking cock as his jaw clenched. You begging was his kryptonite.
“I had the idea to wait until we got married. But… I just… can’t….”
You moaned and he closed his eyes as he slowly entered you inch by inch, stretching you out again for him. His jaw remained clenched, and yours was gaped open in a gasp until he was fully seated inside you. Sy leaned down and kissed your forehead.
“So tight. So good for me, Buttercup…Suchhhh a good girl for me, baby…”
You keened at his praise as he started moving, making love to you sweetly, kissing you, holding you tenderly, and looking into your eyes. The connection was everything.
“You’re mine. And I am yours.”
“I know.”
The tense knot in your belly began to unfurl, and you held onto him tight as the orgasm took over you.
“Love you so much, Buttercup.”
With just a few more strokes, Sy found his release.
—-
You eventually got up from bed and ate. Then you talked for the rest of the night.
You and Sy caught up you loaded the shipping container, leaving the big furniture for the movers. You were in your little domestic bubble until you heard pounding on your door on the morning of the 4th of July, the day before you and Sy were going to drive to Vegas for the wedding.
Sy got up from bed and opened the door, as you peered around the corner from your bedroom.
He looked through the peephole and rolled his eyes before he opened the door. He let Carla and Tiffany push him aside as they entered your house.
“Move aside, Syverson. We’re here to take our bestie for some girl time and a bachelorette party to remember before she signs her life away.”
You stared at Sy, then at them as they continued.
“Pack your bags, Buttercup, we’re going to Vegas!”
——
Please if you liked it!
Next part here.
#ask dj#am writing#writeblr#henry cavill#henry cavill fanfiction#captain syverson#captain syverson fanfiction#captain syverson x reader#captain sy x reader#captain syverson smut#syverson fic#syverson x reader#captain syverson fluff#syverson fanfiction#syverson fluff#captain syverson angst#cpt syverson#Syverson#syverson angst#Sy x Buttercup#syverson x black!reader#captain syverson au#captain syverson x black!reader#henry cavill x reader#henry cavill smut#ii most wanted#ii most wanted fic#amwriting
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Milfs Models Candidates
Okay, so after many suggestions and research I've found some more possible Milf Candidates for me to make in the future. I would say don't judge me... But I think that'd be a lost cause.
Milf 01. Tsuki Uzaki
Y'know it's funny, I actually hate Hana, like she is kinda insufferable to me, I feel bad for Shinichi... Her mother, and sister (And Maybe Brother?) on the other hand... Yeah Tsuki is a top Class Milf.
Milf 02. Mitsuki Bakugo
I love her look, her attitude, just a perfect Milf, I shouldn't have to say more...
Milf 03. Nana Shimura
Muscle Momm-'Cough, Cough' Sorry, anyways, I like Nana, in the same way I like Endeavor, that is to say I like how their flawed individuals. But her flaw is the same as Summer's, she cares too much about doing good to the point where she hurt those close to her... Honestly someone should've slapped some sense into her when she decided to abandon her son. Like I get it, she just lost her husband the big bad would've targeted him... BUT C'MON!!! WHY WOULD YOU THINK OFA WASN'T ALREADY TARGETING YOU!!! Like she gets some leeway because obviously after just losing her husband she couldn't have been in the right state of mind but someone should've realized that possibility.
Milf 04. Lusamine
I hesitated with her mainly because I'd have to use the Hair accessories for her, and wouldn't be able to make other hair styles convincingly. But Yeah I'll probably be making her soon, cuz damn man, she's up there with Cynthia.
Milf 05. Susan Luong-Long
I, and I'm sure a good number of guys (And Girls) who blame this character for our fascination with Asian mommies...
Milf 06. Delia Ketchum
Honestly lowkey one of the best Pokémon Milfs.
Milf 07. Pokémon Black & White's Mom
Yeah, Pokémon knows exactly what it's doing by making Milfs like this...
Milf 08. Johanna (Dawn's Mom)
I Love Her Design, it's rather simple but utterly perfect!
Milf 09. Grace (Pokémon X & Y's Mom)
A sporty, country, mom who looks like she's ready to ride a bull, they really didn't use her near enough.
Milf 10. Prof. Sada
She makes me return to monke... those abs make, that tan, her wild look. Just, y'know a lot of people bought Scarlet for her alone...
Milf 11. Pokémon Scarlet & Violet's Mom
Penny was right, their mom is hot... I prefer the model with paler skin and deep brown hair myself.
Milf 12. Pokémon Sword & Shield's Mom
Not gonna lie, never played sword or shield, but I gotta say, she is a pretty mom. I like the glasses look with the overalls, gives her a fun vibe. I feel like there'll be a shock factor if I put her in other outfits too, so that'll be fun to see.
Milf 13. Pokémon Black & White 2's Mom
Mostly I wanna make her cuz there is a absolute lack of content of her and I'm kinda digging the idea of making her look utterly different with her hair down.
Milf 14. Lila Test
Y'know, I already wanna make Susan & Mary Test for Dexter when I get to him, so why not the mom too.
Milf 15. Charlotte Pickles
These three images convinced me, at first I couldn't see it, but thank you Anon, I've been shown the light. I like Milf in suits apparently... I learned something new about myself.
Milf 16. Jane Jetson
Ahh, Boomerang, how I miss you, this is just a Atlas Mom to me, and I feel like this further proves my childhood interest in redheads...
Milf 17. Wilma Flintstone
Y'know, I would complain that I can't find a decent pic of Wilma without Betty in it... Wait, No I Wouldn't! She next anyways. Well, this only serves to prove the whole Redheads thing lil' me had going on. I'mma say there from a Secluded Vacuian tribe, fucking savages... Hot, hot savage Milf.
Milf 18. Betty Rubble
Cavewoman are justice, and need to reenter the genepool of Remnant.
Milf 19. Carol from OK K.O.
Okay, so recently someone's ask me to make characters from OK K.O. Let's Be Heroes. Specifically Fink & Wilhamena, and to that all I have to say is... HOW DARE YOU NOT MENTION CAROL!!! Dude! Tanned Muscle Mommy! Seriously, she looks like she could be a badass. Not sure how faithful to the design I can be, or well want to be but I definitely like this character.
Milf 20. Wilhamena from OK K.O.
I mean, I get why so many people brought her up, I am looking forward to making this design, seems like it'd be fun. Still kinow nothing about the show though...
Okay, Last four... Gonna get a bit weird, feel free to judge me -_-
Milf 21. Nicole Watterson
I'd probably use the middle design as her actual model in Remnant making her a Faunus. Her Semblance would be '2D' Which references her cartoon origin but also can me Two Ds/ Doppelgangers, but well neither actually look like her but she can share her senses with them or have them act independently.
Milf 22. Lin (Millie's Mom)
Not gonna lie, I wanna make her half to have her get hate fucked (At Least at first), not the most honorable of intentions but FUCK HER!!! I get she's Millie's Mom, and a seemingly good one, but she hates Moxxie Way Too Much! How Can You Hate Moxxie! He's Adorable and a utterly devoted Husband! What, Just Cuz He's Not Country Strong, Fuck Off, No, Fuck Her! Fuck All The Bitch Outta This Milf With a Big Human Cock!
Milf 23. Toriel from Undertale
She is Literally the Goat HAHAHA!!! Okay but seriously I kinda have to make her. There is just WAY too much content for me to have ignored her. I typed in Game Milfs and this Goat showed up more then the Pokémon Moms.
Milf 24. Mrs. Kattswell
... God Dammit, I'm a fucking furry...
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Habits 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Andy Barber, Cole Turner (Professor AU)
Summary: your life is thrown into chaos after a night out goes awry.
Part of the Bad Professors AU
Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all.
The room is electric, colours glare and glimmer, music thrums, bodies writhe. You ride the wave of the rhythm, balancing your cup in one hand as you wave the other above you. You giggle and smile at Mercedes. It’s starting to hit, whatever it is she gave you.
Your eyes roll back as your head dips and you sway to the pulsing beat. You gyrate and hum beneath the wall of sound all around you. You spin and gulp back the last of your mixed vodka. You flick your lashes up and search for somewhere to leave the empty.
Mercedes is gone. Hm, she’s probably just off the restroom or the bar. Hopefully she brings back more. You find a table and slam the empty cup on it. You shimmy around as a cute guy presses past you. Hey, you know him.
“Colin,” you slur, catching his hands as they creep up your hips.
“Hey baby,” he speaks over the music as he leans in, “you’re looking loose. Like the music?”
“Sure, I like the music,” you put your palms to his chest, “but I can’t stand you.”
You stick your tongue out and shove him away. He’s such a slimy fuck. He huffs and drops his grip. That’s it. The shift. One minute, the smarmy smirk and the next, that evil fucking glare.
“See ya. Try not to traumatize anyone, bud,” you slap his arm and carry on past him.
“Slut,” he calls after you.
He says so but you never lowered yourself to his level. Or under him.
You stand on your toes, searching the crowd for Mercedes’ spiral curls. It should be easy enough to find her. She has those fuzzy pom poms pinned into her hair.
You mutter to yourself and check your phone. Your balance isn’t exactly comforting but you have enough for another drink. Fuck it. You’re getting blitzed.
You get to the bar and lean on it as you wave at the bartender. You nearly slip as you put your foot on the metal rod that trims the bottom of the bar and you cling to the edge. You smile and correct yourself.
“Vodka soda,” you call above the hue.
He squints at you and shakes his head, “no way. You had enough, sweetheart.”
“What? I’m fffinnneee,” you whine.
“Step away from my bar or I’ll call the bouncer,” he warns.
“Damn, geez,” you put your palms up defensively, “fine. Don’t have to be nasty.”
You spin and your legs tangle. You stumble and collide with someone else. You catch yourself against them. Oh, gosh. You can feel their muscle through their shirt. Mmf.
You follow the body up to short stubble and recoil. Bit older than you expected. As much as you admire an older man, you didn’t come here to hook-up. You learned your lesson last time.
“Excuse me,” he touches your hip lightly then rescinds his hand, almost shyly.
“S-sssorry,” you laugh, “I’m a bit tipsy.”
“Can’t be mad at a pretty girl running into me,” he grins and you notice his throat bob. That’s cute. He’s nervous. Kinda makes sense since he’s a bit out of place with the coed crowd.
You keep your smile on, “that’s sweet.”
You try to move past him but he sidles in the same direction. You end up bumping into each other again. He raises his hands helplessly.
“Ah, sorry, I keep--” he gets in your way again. “Keep running into you. Maybe it’s a sign I should buy you a drink.”
It’s almost smooth. Almost. He’s trying. It’s kind of endearing. And you won’t complain for a top-up, especially on his dime.
“Sure, can I have a vodka soda,” you push your shoulders up and bat your lashes, “I’ll, er, go wait over there.”
You peek behind you. The bartender is thoroughly distracted. The man peers back then at you again.
“Sure. I’ll grab us drinks.”
Your eyelids sag and you shimmy your shoulders, “you’re a real sweetie.”
You flit off through the crowd and go to wait at the small corner table. You bop and keep your eye out for Mercedes. Come on. If she ditched you for another guy...
The man approaches you, balancing the drinks with a wary look to those dancing around him. He breaks free of the crush and swiftly sets down the glasses. He shakes the excess of his fingertips and wipes a hand on his jeans.
“Oh, by the way, I’m Cole,” he introduces himself with a handshake. That’s adorable.
“Coral,” you say back. “Thank you soooooo much.”
You take the vodka soda and slurp through the straw. Oof. It’s stronger than you expect. Or maybe you really have had enough.
“Are you a student?” He asks.
You dribble a bit over your lower lib and dab it with your knuckles. You swallow a belch and nod, “oh yeah. I’m in Communications. Fun times.”
“Fun?” He echoes.
“Sure, it’s all nonsense. I just need a degree to get me in the door but it’s nothing special,” you shake your head. “I’m gonna be a PR specialist. I wanna work for fashion brands.”
“Fashion,” he nods as his eyes fixate on you, “you enjoy it?”
“Yeah, if I could sew I might try design but I can’t draw either,” you garble and pause as your tongue sticks. Oof, are you even speaking clearly right now?
“That’s cool. Driven young lady,” his eyes drift down and you suddenly feel exposed. “Pretty too.”
“Ah ha, yeah,” you blink and shake your head. Ooh, okay, the pill is really kicking you in the teeth right now. “Can you excuse me? I’m not... I gotta... pee!”
You scramble away as your head spins and your limbs turn to sand. You can hardly push through the invisible waves holding you back. You search for the bathrooms and finally see the sign. You run into another girl coming out and quickly dip behind the door.
You barely stagger into the stall as your vision begins to speckle. Something’s not right. What the hell, Mercedes? You might be careless for taking the pill but she also didn’t warn you it was that potent. You sit on the toilet and lean forward to cradle your head. You don’t sit back up as the darkness beckons you down and down.
#cole turner#andy barber#dark cole turner#dark andy barber#dark!cole turner#dark!andy barber#cole turner x reader#andy barber x reader#ghosted#series#drabble#defending jacob#au#professor au#habits
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𝔾𝕠𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕤 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕣
Top!Sub!Male Character x Bot!Dom!MR.
Warning > Smut. Unprotected. Some Form Of Breaking And Entering..?. Teasing. Nicknames (Honeybear..)
M/N hadn't meant to wander into someone's house. It was dark when he returned from work and he'd realised he'd forgotten his keys. The quickest route back to the gas station was through the forest..but now he was kinda lost..
Turns out, the forest was much harder to navigate at night, hence he wondered around for a good 30 minutes before his eyes landed on a building. He'd knocked on the door, once gently, then twice a little more harshly but getting no response. When he knocked again, he nearly jumped out of wits to discover it opened.
He'd entered cautiously, his phone's flashlight being the only source of light in the room.
"Hello? Anyone there?" He'd called out, his voice weary. "Shit..I swear if some bitch jumps out to murder me.."
His head whipped at every creak of the floorboards and he attempted to calm his tense body. The house was surprisingly organised, he paused when his stomach growled. He let out an unamused sigh, seems that 13 hour shift was taking a toll on him..
He glanced at a conveniently placed bowl of cold porridge on the dining table. Well the owner of this house wasn't home..but at the same time, what if the owner of this house knew he would come here and poisoned the porridge?
He chuckled. No that would be ridiculous..
He walked towards the bowl, picking it up. A little bit wouldn't hurt.
But what if it did hurt..? Some poisons are very painful.
He shook his head. He should stop overthinking. But..It was better not to risk it.
He sighed as he ignored his grumbling stomach, walking to sit on the chair near a fireplace. It was better to wait it out in the house till morning. If the owner came home he would just explain his situation.
He jumped when he heard the front door open, footsteps entering the room as he carefully turned his head to look at who it was.
"Mr Tragen?!?" He exclaimed in pure surprise as a rather bulky man with tanned skin took off a trenchcoat and hooked it, looking at the smaller male with a bewildered look.
"M/N? What are you doing here?" The bear-like man asked with a raised eyebrow, walking over to the other.
..
"So you're telling me, you forgot your keys after your shift and went back to get it, but somehow got lost in the forest you've lived by since you were a kid?" Mr Tragen, or rather Felix as he prefers, asked in pure wonder at the smaller's sense of direction.
M/N winced at the truth and how dumb it made him sound, nodding dejectedly.
"Well you can stay here if you wish, you can find your way back in sunlight right?" Felix, bless, being the angel he was smiled at him brightly.
'100/10. Green flag. Thank you Felix. I don't deserve you.'
M/N practically bathed in the offer and the other's angelic smile though his face kept a rather stoic reaction "Thank you Mr Tra-l mean Felix. Love you.
Though M/N's voice was airy and careless his words did in fact hold a deeper meaning. He had in fact fallen in love with his fellow co-worker the moment he lay eyes on him, though truly he was far too scared if rejection to admit it.
Felix simply smiled in response, stretching his arms as he looked at the other.
"You can take a shower if you like, I'll try to find my old mattress in the attic for you to sleep on. Oh, and you can borrow my clothes," The larger male smiled with a hum, and M/N smiled in response.
"Man thanks. Your the best." M/N grinned happily, patting Felix's back in a friendly manner. "Uh..where's the bathroom?"
Felix pointed at a door near the kitchen area with a very clear label that said bathroom in cutesy letters and M/N face palmed at himself for being stupid again, giving another thanks and rushing off.
Felix watched the other's small figure before turning away, a bright red blush spreading across his cheeks.
...
M/N marvelled as he felt whatever impurities lingered on him wash away in the bath. Wrapping a towel around his lower half when he was done, stepping out of the bathroom with a relieved sigh.
He looked around surprised to see Felix hidden away behind a wooden pillar.
"Felix?" He called out wih a raised brow. "You okay?"
Felix jumped, his big build tensing as he turned to look at M/N, quickly turning away again frantically, fidgeting with a piece of paper and tucking it away.
M/N raised an eyebrow. Felix was a fellow co- worker but also a good friend. Felix was somebody M/N could vent to when things got messy between him and his step-mother. But even then, in the 6 years he's known him, he'd never seen him like this. It was suspicious..
M/N walked towards him. "What was the paper you were hiding?" He asked his voice laced in curiosity. Felix shook his head but M/N couldn't help but feel like he needed to know. And that's when he saw it.
A rather large tent formed in the other's pants. M/N smirked as he finally pieced the other's flush face and erratic response together. He slowly walked over to the other
A rather large tent formed in the other's pants. M/N smirked as he finally pieced the other's flush face and erratic response together. He slowly walked closer to the other, gently squeezing the other's crotch
"So you were jerking off..I wonder. Was it to somebody's picture? That's a dirty little thing to do.." M/N whispered softly, causing the other to whimper softly at the other's words.
M/N pulled the picture out of the other's hand, his eyes widening when his own face stared back at him. A small blush reached his ears but a small chuckle left his lips.
"I see. Do I make you like this?" He gave it another squeeze causing the larger male to tense up again. "How sweet.. I suppose I should take responsibility."
♡♡♡
Small groans left the room as e/c eyes stared into honey brown ones. Felix looked away flustered, as the h/c-haired male bobbed his head up and down. He hummed as he watched the other's pleasured expression, licking the rim of the other's cock teasingly the vibrations another shock of waves through the other's body.
He had been teasing the brunnette male for atleast half an hour, using his tongue skillfully yet stopping when he felt the man tense from a release.
He laughed softly, slowly getting of his knees as he pushed the brown-haired male backwards.. Sitting down on the male's lap with a small smirk.
"M/N..." Felix called softly, watching as the other began to prepare himself, reaching out to touch the male.
"Uh-uh." The h/c-haired tutted reprimandingly. "No touching, honeybear."
Felix whimpered at the nickname, his cock twitching at the sight of the other's bare hole, precum practically dribbling down.
M/N carefully aligned himself, carefully settling down, wincing slightly at the stretch, he slowly began to move up and down, his voice quiet careful not to overwhelm Felix's own. Felix, in return, gripped onto the other's waist tightly, tensing everytime the the other's whole tightened around him
Soon enough sounds of squelching filled the entire room, pleasured moans mixed with the sounds of sloppy kissing.
The two going at it like bunnies for atleast an hour, trying different positions, Felix apologising after he'd accidentally came inside with M/N just chuckling, chasing his own climax as the other thrust inside him, tears rocked his eyes but refused to fall due to his pride.
His hole tightened when he came, causing Felix to let out a groan as he followed after. Hickeys and marks littered the h/c-haired male's body as Felix pulled out, laying next to the other on the barely spacious bed. He brushed M/N's hair behind his ear as he looked at the other's messy form, blushing slightly.
M/N returned his gaze, his legs giving way as he practically melted into the bed. His eyes traced the features of his face as they slowly closed from exhaustion.
Felix carefully got out of bed cleaning the smaller male gently to not awake him, he diligently rid if the cum te stained the male's hole, muh to paranoid after remembering that it could the other's stomach if he left it there. He carefully pulled the bedsheets off and threw them in the basket to wash and carefully covered the older wih a blanket. He grabbed his towel ready to take a shower, pausing to look back at the other.
"I love you." He whispered. He turned away his large hand reaching for the handle. His eyes widening as his ears caught a tiny little reply.
"Love you too.."
#male reader#bottom male reader#uke male reader#male x male#top male character#ukemalereader#mlm ns/fw#smut drabble
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Ratfish Musings
Absoultely loved this 2-parter finale. Was initially sad to not see the survivor premise be an every finale thing, but how appropriate to the spirit of game changer to make different finales, based on different reality game shows they like. NGL had never even heard of the circle before, binged a few seasons of it while waiting for ratfish pt 2.
The original show is... all right, it's a bit stereotypical, but a nice enough experience. Based on dropout's take, however, I'm trying to organize making a game out of this on discord and it could be fun, this is something we as fans can pretty easily replicate for ourselves on social media, and a pretty good finale for the season.
Like with many others I'm seeing on here, I found the ratfish character to be the weak part of the episode. Dropout on the whole, and that drag show in the first ep of thousandaires, is *really* building up a brand of personality with it's extended cast. Who these people are, how they make each other laugh, and the memories they make together in the experiences these shows provide, really creates a fun, wholesome, and engaging experience that just keeps building on itself. I think this is where the magic of dropout content can be found and when building on it, it just keeps getting better, but this ratfish idea... didn't land. I even saw a post from what I presume to be a fan of this guy, who found how little he was used annoying and that, not seeing the cast's reaction to him at the end, felt like a disappointment, so I have to ask 'why was this guy chosen'? His dry, kind of uninterested vibe didn't really add much to the experience, the amount of power he had over the game felt a little off putting, and even people who do like him, probably felt his minimal presence was a waste of whatever they like about him, it's not like he got a chance to *Shine* here. With this as my only exposure to this guy he seems kinda boring. What was the intent with this? Why did he have so much influence on a game that *heavily* relied on this group of co-workers and friends reading each other through the bits? Also it feels like Rekha got *snubbed* Like not only did she manage to land everyone's identities *before the final round*, without a reward of any kind and in fact, ended up with 2nd place because despite her skill the *ratfish* arbitrarily picked Katie's art (love to katie, not her fault) but also in the talkback portion it never even got brought up. She mentioned it to brennan's face and no reaction. Solving the game entirely *before it's over* should have been a bigger deal.
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Hello! I like to ask/request, if you have time, could you do the TFP Decepticons and Autobots, of your choice, and with human Reader? Romantic/Platonic
Reader adopts twin sparklings or cybertronian babies, Girl and Boy Twins, and Reader doesn't know what species/race/alien the twins are, yet Reader's raising and loving the twins as their own. Same with the twins and their kinda Mama's kids (?), they're very attached, love, and also very protective of their human parent…
Then One day, they meet them, the Autobots/Decepticons, and that bot/con kinda like or act as parent figure, being co-parent to their adopted sparklings, and also having feelings for the Human reader.
Gn human reader with sparklings encountering TFP autobots/decepticons (pt1?)
Grrr tysm anon for the request, I had a lot of fun with this! I was gonna do hcs with several characters but I got carried away with a Bumblebee scenario- so um yeah here's that. I plan on doing a follow-up at some point with more characters (hcs) for this but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer! Hope that's okay :))
Bumblebee-
You were out looking for more of the blue substance your twins fed on. It had been a couple days since you ran out, and the twins were getting restless. The girl, which you had named Goldrush, started gnawing on her brother, Darkage. Darkage didn't take to kindly to that, swatting her off of him with a surprised squeak.
You sigh. "What am I gonna do with you two?" You chuckled, waving the twins back over, not wanting them to wander off as they bickered. As you walked off the road and towards a cave that you hoped would have some more, you heard an explosion.
The ground shook, nearly knocking you off of your feet, before you saw a yellow car, followed by 3 purple cars, racing towards you at an incredible speed. With a yelp, you dive out of the way, the twins landing next to you in a pile. "You okay?" You ask, worridly turning to the twins. They nod, with Goldrush looking slightly agitated at Darkage for landing on her.
A dark shadow looms over you as you look up to see one of the purple cars, now having transformed into a tall bot, reaching down to grab you. With a frightened screech, you duck out of the way. The twins rush in front of you, standing only a few feet taller than you are, growling and snarling at the purple mech.
Before it has time to react, a yellow bot slams it in the side of its head, sending it flying out of your view. The yellow bot looks down, noticing you and the twins, and starts beeping as what you could only describe as confused.
You hesitate, not sure if it- he?- is hostile or not. He looks an awful lot like whatever your twins are, but way bigger. You figure he's probably a completely developed version of whatever species Darkage and Goldrush are. He reaches out to you, seemingly offering a hand to help you up. The twins growl at him nervously, waiting for you to make a move.
Unsure of the situation but not wanting to make the twins more anxious, you accept the yellow bot's hand.Once you're standing on your own two feet again, the twins calm down. The yellow bot transforms back into a car, opening the door as an invitation for you to get in. You figure that if he's the same species as Darkage and Goldrush, he'll probably have some of that blue junk you need. You shrug at the twins and get in the car as they latch onto the roof.
A short while later, you end up driving inside of a mountain in the middle of who knows where. "So, uh, where are we, anyways?" You ask, not really expecting a coherent answer from the bot that speaks in beeps. As expected, he beeps a few times before stopping inside of some giant base. He lets you out of the car, and the twins jump off as he transforms again.
"Bumblebee! You're back!" You hear a kid shout excitedly, before seeing a short boy run over. The boy quickly takes notice of you, as does a large white and orange mech. "Bumblebee, you brought another human here?!" They shout in unison. The mech sounding displeased- while the boy sounds thrilled.
"Uh. Hi?" You say nervously, glancing behind the boy to the large, and clearly annoyed, mech. "I-" The white bot pauses, looking behind you to the twins. "Are those... sparklings...?" He questions, looking at you with bewilderment and suspicion. The yellow bot, who you assume is named Bumblebee, now turns to look at you, as if he just realized the twins were there.
"I guess? I don't know." You shrug nonchalantly. "So... are you gonna introduce yourselves or just stare at me?" You questioned teasingly.
"The name's Ratchet, but-" Ratchet gets cut off by the young boy, who eagerly introduces himself. "I'm Rafael! You can just call me Raf- as you probably figured out by now, he's Bumblebee." Raf gestures behind him.
You smile brightly at him. "I'm (y/n), and these two are Darkage and Goldrush." You say, gently grabbing one of each of their hands and leading them closer. Ratchet tries to speak again, but Bumblebee cuts him off with more beeps. "Oh, Bee wants to know if they need energon," Raf tells you, looking at the twins.
"Energon?" You question.
"Yeah, the blue stuff that cybertronians eat." He replies.
"Blue stuff... OH! Yeah, we've been looking for some for a while now. They could really use it." You say, happy to know that you'll be able to feed the twins soon. "By the way, how can you understand Bumblebee?" You look at Raf quizzically. Raf explains to you how Bee communicates through noises while Bumblebee runs off to get some energon for your sparklings.
At this point, Ratchet has given up on trying to talk to you, and is now inspecting the twins for any injuries. Soon, Bumblebee runs back in with an energon cube in each hand. He kneels to the twins' level, and carefully hands one to each of them. Beeping sweetly, he coos at them, before noticing you and the others staring at him. Looking embarrassed, he turns to you and starts rambling about how cute they are.
With Raf's help, you're able to understand him, and the two of you start getting along remarkably well. He goes out of his way to spend time with you and the twins after missions, and he tries to teach the three of you some combat skills, to varying degrees of success.
The twins cling to Bee like glue whenever he's around, riding on his back or grabbing onto his legs, while Bee lets you rest on his shoulder. In Bumblebee's free time, he teaches you and the twins about Cybertron before the war.
As Darkage and Goldrush get older, bigger, and stronger, you and Bee are able to properly train them. With the twins starting to go on missions, Bee takes you out with him so you can supervise your sparklings.
To the cons' surprise and dismay, you and Bee make an incredible power couple/duo on the battlefield, in spite of your small size. The two of you are inseparable, and with your newfound family, you're just about ready to take on anything.
#bumblebee#tfp bumblebee#bumblebee x reader#transformers prime#transformers x reader#Honestly not my best work but that's okay#I had wayyy more ideas for other characters but I started with Bumblebee and got carried away#I'll probably do arcee/ratchet for autobots and soundwave/starscream for decepticons next when I make more hcs for this#hope you enjoyed anon
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Take One
Pairing: Florence Pugh X Fem! Reader.
Summary: One scene is all it took to multiply the feelings Florence has for you.
Word count: 1.1K
Warnings: none
Type: Fluff
AC: Scene’s marked with ** & I’m going to switch this one up and give it from Flo’s POV! Enjoy *This is a request from my old blog!*
Flo’s POV:
My job is great! I love it! I have worked on so many great movies and shows and worked with some amazing cast and crew but this new film is special, I’m co-stared with my best friend, Y/n. The moment we knew we were both casted for this film we laughed at the idea of playing a couple. We’re best friends, so it was definitely going to be a blast filming with her.
** Nora (Y/n’s character) sits typing on laptop. Notices Ruby indecisive on the menu.
N: You should try the chef’s special
-Ruby turns to Nora and smiles softly-
R: I’m sorry?
N: You’ve been standing there for 10 minutes Uhmming and arrrin on what to order
-Nora looks up from laptop-
R: I’ll give it a shot -chuckles- your accent, what is it?
N: -looks Ruby up and down, smirks- do you always ask strangers such questions?
R: -shakes head slightly- just those who are pretty
N: -smiles then gestures ruby a seat- would you like to take a seat?
R: -bites bottom lip lightly, shaking her head- nope, but thanks. -smiles and continues to order-
**
“Cut! That was perfect, thank you!” the director calls as you smile to Florence. “Okay that was slightly harder than I thought” Y/n spoke trying to keep the Romanian accent that her character has. “You did great!” I tell her with a smile.
“We need you guys back after lunch for a few more scenes, one of these scenes is the first kiss between the characters so make sure you guys are ready for that” the director smiled at us as Y/n and I walked over to the refreshments table.
“Nervous about that?” Y/n asked me as we grabbed a bottle of water each, “What? To kiss you? No, I think your nervous though” I smirked to her. “Oh please, you’re not the first big shot actor I’ve had to kiss” she joked back. Truth was, I was nervous, very! I’ve liked Y/n for a while now but I’m not sure how she feels so I have kept my feelings to myself.
The director called us over for our next few scenes which we took within a few takes, you could say we work well together. “Alright, I need hair and make-up in here before we do this first kiss!” the director told us as we sat down and waited for the lovely women to come in and give us a touch up.
“3….2…..1 ACTION!” the Director called.
** Nora and Ruby walking back to Ruby’s apartment
R: I have one question
N: -hums in response-
R: Why did you ask me on this date tonight? We only met a few days ago.
N: Because I make you nervous and I like that
R: you don’t make me nervous -blushes-
N: yeah?
R: yeah
N: Can I kiss you then? -both stop at street crossing, turning to face one another-
R: -nervously nods-
**
I felt my heart face as Y/n took the small steps closer to me, she gently caress’s my left cheek looking at my lips as I looked at hers. For a moment it felt like the world stopped when I felt her lips press against mine. My eyes closed instantly then I gently placed my left hand over her right hand that stayed caressing my face. The kiss was short but sweet, soft and I hated pulling away.
“Cut!” the director called as we pulled away. “Don’t go anywhere just yet, I want to watch this over” the director added.
“Well that went better than I thought it would” Y/n smirked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I raised my eyebrows
“Nothing, I just kinda thought you’d be lower on my list” she joked
“You have a list?!”
“Yeah… I get to kiss all these great actors, why not?” she laughed, I shook my head playfully.
“Where am I on this list?”
“A solid 4”
“4?! Come on!” I playfully slapped her right arm.
“Perfect girls! We don’t need you back until tomorrow, thank you!” the director cut in.
As the months went on, we had more kissing scenes we had to do. Every night I stayed awake thinking about how soft her lips are, how gently she is and I know it’s just her acting but I can’t help melt into her touch every single time we had to act as a couple.
“Flo, you ready?” Y/n spoke as she broke me from my thoughts, “yeah, let’s do this” I smiled.
“Okay, last scene, hopefully our last shot. 3….2….1 ACTION!
** Ruby goes to Nora’s apartment, in destress.
N: Ruby, what are you doing here? I told you not to contact me…
R: I can’t stop think about you. I don’t want this to end. Don’t go.
N: but I can’t stay
R: then let me come with you!
N: I would never ask you to leave your life here for mine
R: your not asking me, I’m telling you I want this
N: I can’t… Ruby I am sorry. You have a good life here, you don’t follow me across the world
**
This was it. This is the moment were the characters share a big kiss and everything ends well. My character has to take the lead this time. I stepped closer and pulled Y/n closer to me with power, I cupped her face gently and kissed her lips. I felt her arms wrap around my waist and pull me even closer, Deeping our kiss. When I felt Y/n start to pull away I took it upon myself and pulled her close again, never breaking the kiss. The director called cut and we pulled away, I didn’t notice how out of character I was until I looked up at Y/n.
“Flo?” she spoke softly. I felt tears creeping down my face before I wiped them away quickly. “I’- I’m…sor…I’m sorry….i-“ I ran off in a hurry.
“Florence!” Y/n called as I left the set, running to my dressing room. Closing the door, taking a moment to calm myself, replaying the moment in my head as I felt my tears fall freely.
“Hey..Flo?” I heard Y/n’s voice enter my dressing room. “I’m fine, I’m sorry I just need a moment” I replied, not facing her.
“Florence. Look at me, please”
I turned to her, avoiding the eye contact. “Hey” she spoke softly and she came closer to me. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, I got ahead of myself, and I’ve probably ruined that scene now”
“Ruined? I think that’s exactly what they wanted”
Y/n gently cupped my face, lifting it to look at her. “I didn’t know you felt that way” she said, looking at me in the eyes. “I’m really sorry if I have ruined our friendship…” I replied.
“No honey, you didn’t” she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her hold.
“I didn’t?”
“No, Flo, you could never ruin what we have” she held me tighter. “How about we go get some lunch and talk about this?”
I nodded, “please” I whispered.
Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @jeyramarie | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @sophie-xox | @observeowl | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @get-the-fuck-outta-here | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @sophie-xox | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @crescent-witch | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @blue-serendipityy | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | @livresjaunes | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | @shibugs |
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First, I wanted to say your art is beautiful and amazing ;A; <3 I love it so much with the details and the stylistic choices you make. Second, do you think you'll be drawing the Void Team up from 'Deadpool and Wolverine'? I would love to see you draw them outside the Honda about to fight, Remy and Laura respectively, or honestly Logan and Laura in your style. You do amazing, and regardless, cannot wait to see what else you put out there!!
Hey!! I'm glad you like my work!
I'm currently getting more into x-men cos two of my close friends are really into it, haha. As a teen, I was always more into the avengers and kinda missed out on getting more into x-men. But it's happening now, so I might draw some more characters at some point!
I do really want to draw Laura and Logan tho, but specifically from Logan (so young Laura and okd man Logan) cos I absolutely adore that movie and I'm always a sucker for grumpy old men accidentally becoming girl dads 🙏❤️
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Seventeen Recs
directory | svt masterlist | general masterlist
✨ favourites
S.Coups
ice-cold, cabin fever (2) ft. mingyu ✨ @smileysuh 25.8k you're skiing with your new step siblings JiHan (Shua + Han that is such a stupid ship name) and their bffs Cheol and Gyu. Cheol pretends he doesn't like you and Gyu is a softie. slow burn. smut. all the best shit. i love smileysuh's writing style!
inflection point ft. jeonghan ✨ @lovelyhan 21.6k (three parts) your boss jeonghan asks you to become the third party in an exclusive relationship, turns out his loving boyfriend is your terrible ex. but, surprise surprise, turns out he's not all that terrible.
obvious @leejungchans 0.9k short little cute thingie, baker!cheol, we're at a wedding
what a bore ft. chan @hwanghyunjinenthusiast 12.3k a night out with your co-workers leads to chan, cheol, and you having to book a hotel room
anything for you ft. seokmin @/hwanghyunjinenthusiast 0.8k short but sweet, your loving boyfriend seokmin would do literally anything for you, even if it means letting his leader split you open while seokmin himself merely gets to watch hehehehehe
babymaker @onlyseokmins 7.9k i felt crazy, unhinged, and depraved reading this, i am scared to recommend this, but i'm not about to deprive anyone else of this ff's version of cheol, lord have mercy
let me... @seungkwansphd 1.2k the concept of this has been flying around in my own brain for so long but i never considered writing it down and it's good, too, because it never could've gotten close to this masterpiece, this is my favourite smut in a while, i read this at work yesterday when my boss wasn't looking because i couldn't wait
have my baby @seokgyuu 4.3k pwp, rich!reader, PT!cheol, breeding kink go brrrrrrrrr
Jeonghan
inflection point ft. cheol ✨ @lovelyhan 21.6k (three parts) your boss jeonghan asks you to become the third party in an exclusive relationship, turns out his loving boyfriend is your terrible ex. but, surprise surprise, turns out he's not all that terrible.
electric @/miraclewoozi 6.3k this was kinda cute, particular highlight to me was the characterisation of hannie, felt very on brand, i just wished the smut would have been longer TT
3,2,1... and we're live @strawberryya 1.7k obsessed with news anchor hannie, i wish this was longer
Joshua
virgin killer @wonusite 7.2k college! virgin!josh, you're a popular cheerleader with your sights set on nerd!josh, this is literally just smut, it's like 500 words plot and 6.7k words smut; don't read this if you're in the mood for a story, read this if you're horny
burnin' up @miraclewoozi 3.1k no plot just smut, big dick!josh, i live for big dick!josh agenda, anyway, y'all are at the pool and you decide to tease gentleman josh a little, turns out he has a mean mode hihihi
Jun
after dark @onlyhuis 2k somnophilia, established relationship, one time you're needy in the middle of the night, and two times jun can't wait to get himself off
you'll be the death of me @fantasy-svt 2.3k fantasy!au, elf!jun, siren!reader, i wish this was 10k words longer bc i think the world building is so freaking interesting, and it would be really good for the story to have sufficient place for setting up characters like that female elf and more of the fantasy lore; and it's still one of the best fantasy!aus i've seen
good things from bad days ✨ @/cheolism 5.6k roommates to lovers; mutual PINING!!!!!
Hoshi
audio ✨ @smileysuh 2.9k hoshi sends you a voice msg from the gym, v nice
be sweet @heartkyeom 18.7k arranged marriage! royalty! hoshi is being a playboy menace but not really and suddenly he's in love with you hehe
Wonwoo
game over ft. gyu ✨ @lovelyhan 41.6k (three parts, ongoing) enemies to lovers with wonwoo, and later his bestie gyu gets to join in on the fun; maybe my all time fave
meet-cute of the century ✨ @lovelyhan 25.4k wonwoo has a crush on you, a stranger, which we only find out at the end; you meet at a cat-shelter, he's a simp, he's shy, he's adorable, he has a motorcycle <33333
Woozi
between glitz and glamour ✨ @himbocoups 15k crying, screaming, throwing up over this; 20s!au, jihoon runs a speakeasy and you're an aspiring actress who can't take his no for an answer, you fall in love, things happen, smut, angst, i can't do this anymore, pls
don't sweat it ✨ @miraclewoozi 18k strangers to lovers, gym-themed; this is literally so good i can't even (woops, the millenial jumped out, sorry) woozi is so hot and SUCH A SIMP! just how i like my men, srsly do yourself a favour read this right now, this is my new favourite TT
DK / Dokyeom
sweet, sweeter, seokmin's kisses @seokgyuu 1.4k frat!dk, you go to a SVT frat party, DK gets dared to kiss you, this gem of a sentence is said: "It didn’t matter that he was in a bitchless fraternity. From now on you could be his bitch."
anything for you ft. cheol @/hwanghyunjinenthusiast 0.8k short but sweet, your loving boyfriend seokmin would do literally anything for you, even if it means letting his leader split you open while seokmin himself merely gets to watch hehehehehe
yuck! [pt.2] @/himbocoups i read this before and loved it and forgot about it and then i stumbled across it again last night, i have never been more excited to read something and never happier to have read something, seokmin's characterisation in this is just *chef's kiss*
hands of a god @/seokgyuu 2.6k what can i say? the title is true. and very relevant for the plot. i love seokmin's fingers.
Mingyu
ice-cold, cabin fever (2) ft. cheol ✨ @smileysuh 25.8k you're skiing with your new step siblings JiHan (Shua + Han that is such a stupid ship name) and their bffs Cheol and Gyu. Cheol pretends he doesn't like you and Gyu is a softie. slow burn. smut. all the best shit. i love smileysuh's writing style!
again and again ✨ @lovelyhan 15.7k idol!gyu, exes to fake dating to lovers, you're visiting your fam over the holidays and you haven't told them yet that you and mingyu broke up bc they loved him. so he helps you out. smut. honestly just read anything and everything by lovelyhan TT
game over ft. wonwoo ✨ @lovelyhan 41.6k (three parts, ongoing) enemies to lovers with wonwoo, and later his bestie gyu gets to join in on the fun; maybe my all time fave
THE8
glacial pace @wonusite 5.3k fake dating! bff2l! idiots2lovers!, minghao needs you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the holidays hahahah yey, smut
fixer-upper @/seungkwansphd 9.5k ahhh finally i found another good minghao fic, the premise of this was so good, the execution was incredible, i loved this, i think my favourite was actually the entire lead-up, idiots to lovers adjacent, so it obviously tickles my brain, i wanna re-read it kind of immediately, minghao is so perfect in this
Seungkwan
voice @cheolism 2.3k seungkwan's away for work and he calls you while you're busy thinking about his fingers in places
how flowers bloom ✨ @cheolism 3.2k gods!, the change of seasons is battled out each year by the seasonal lords, you've defeated the lord of the spring for the past few weeks, but Seungkwan's had enough, smutsmutsmutsmutsmut (apparently if you want good seungkwan content you have to go to cheolism, ma'am (gender-neutral) i'm on my knees in awe)
drabble @hannieehaee 1.6k softdom!kwan, semi-public, i love softdom kwannie indescribably much, he's so cute in this TTT
Vernon
you get me so high @cheolhub 6.2k you get high with best friend vernon on his birthday and things lead to things, dubcon
can't get you out of my head @/onlyhuis finally an outstanding vernon fic!! i've been waiting for this for all my life! the relationship and its development are so perfect, the smut is one of the best i have ever read, this has been sent by the gods to bring peace to human kind
new boyfriend ✨ @/hannieehaee 1.8k new bf!vernon, the others don't believe you two until dino walks in on a rather... compromising positon, i'm always looking for new vernon fics, there is never enough vernon
love and lacrosse jackets @junrenjun 3k teacher!vernon and teacher!reader, this is so cuuuuute, no students would behave like this irl, but i'm still completely here for it
Dino
promise ring ✨ @lovelyhan 21k fantasy!au childhood best friend chan, yearning, both of you are idiots, you are betrothed to prince joshua for quite a bit before you stop being idiots too
what a bore ft. cheol @hwanghyunjinenthusiast 12.3k a night out with your co-workers leads to chan, cheol, and you having to book a hotel room
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Hey 👋 I've been watching videos of Joseph during the Liverpool convention (hope you had a good time by the way) and got the idea of a Joseph x Reader story where they meet during a meet and greet perhaps during signing?
(Started writing this and it’s kinda giving yandere!reader vibes but she just a crazy obsessed fan like the rest of us🤷♀️)
Also in this he is not married! And this is gonna be set in America maybe a few years earlier?
Favourite Fan
Y/n had watched the vampire diaries and the originals religiously. They were played continuously and she could speak each episode word for word. Her favourite character was Klaus by far, she loved Joseph Morgan’s acting and who he was truly.
So she saved up, a lot, and decided she would see how many conversations she could see him at.
She knew he was doing conventions in a couple states that year so decided to go and meet him.
The first time it was to have a picture of him signed as well as a photo.
When she got their, she was practically bouncing. She waited in line and finally got to meet him.
———————————————————————
Joseph had been switching between photos and autographs all day. It was the afternoon and he was growing tired. Time between each person was getting shorter and shorter but he didn’t want to disappoint any fans so he tried his best.
But when he glances up at Y/n, for some reason he decided he would talk to her for a little longer. His eyes were locked on hers, her bright smile seemed to warm him as he wrote her a personalised message on the item she wanted signed. She then shyly asked if he was allowed to hug her to which he let out a soft laugh and nodded.
He pushed his cheque back and stood up, moving around his table and welcoming her into his arms. He smiled at the way she clung to him, it wasn’t uncommon among fans. He gently rubbed the top of her back before she pulled away and thanked him. His eyes followed her as she walked away and he continued with the autographs for a while.
By his last set of photos with fans, he was exhausted and hungry. Some of the other stars were taking a break while others were flooded with people.
He sighed softly to himself, his face hurt from all the smiling but he was used it. He could feel the heat getting to him as he stood in far too many layers but nevertheless he wrapped his arm around the next person and gave an award winning grin for the camera.
He glanced to the next person and saw a familiar face, the same girl from earlier. His smile was smaller but it was real. So was hers as she quickly approached him and immediately wrapped her arms around him. He chuckled and hugged her bag, accidentally smelling her hair as he felt her face against his shoulder.
“You ready sweetheart?” He murmured softly to her and she nodded, her cheeks pink as a blush spread through her. She pulled away and turned to the camera, his arm stayed around her waist and they both smiled. He waved as she left and turned to his next person with a better attitude.
———————————————————————
He saw her multiple times in that year alone, in a few different states across different days.
He began to look for her in the line or when he was walking from photos to the autograph tables. Occasionally he would spot her, she was always already looking at him which made his face warm as a soft blush rose to the surface. Joseph would always wave at her as he went by.
By the time he got round to seeing her, he was always tired. She seemed to uplift him throughout the day.
So when he got to her again, for maybe the 7th time meeting her, he was relieved to have her in his arms again. He could hear and sense his co-stars giggling and staring as the hug lingered for longer than it should have.
“I made you something” she whispered to him as they parted and he smiled
“You did?” He asked and she nodded, holding out a few pieces of paper. One of which was a hand written letter and two were portraits of him in a remarkable amount of detail. His smile broadened and his face went pink again “you made those yourself?” He questioned and she nodded nervously.
“You don’t have to-“
“No no, I want them” he took them from her hands and she smiled back at him. “They’re wonderful, love” he told her and she looked down “thank you” he whispered “will I be seeing you again later?” He asked eagerly.
“No…not this time” she sighed softly “I booked late, couldn’t get anything else. Next time?”
“Definitely” he smiled, subconsciously raising his hand to brush her hair away from her face, ignoring the ‘ooos’ from his co-stars.
They smiled at each other and said their goodbyes before she left and he turned back to his next eagerly awaiting fan.
———————————————————————
Joseph’s friends teased him, Daniel, Phoebe, Claire, Charles. The lot of them knew, as soon as they saw Y/n coming, Jospeh would be a blushing mess.
One of those days, when Y/n was lining up for Joseph again, Daniel came up behind her. He effectively scared her and made her laugh, he whispered to her secretively and had her dial her number into Joseph’s phone.
Joseph and Daniel had been given private rooms to do their photos and signings and Y/n was the last in line for Joseph so Daniel saw it as perfectly set up. He gave her a hug and winked at Jospeh who looked a mix of embarrassed and horrified.
Once she got to him, they were both red in the face and their hearts were beating fast.
“I’m sorry” he whispered “he’s rude and-“
“It’s okay” she smiled “I know it’s just a joke, you can delete the number” she told him but he shook his head
“N-no no I’ll keep it” he whispered, his eyes trailing her body without his permission. She could feel his eyes on her and she could feel herself getting hotter
“Can I have my hug?” She asked quietly and he cleared his throat with a nod
“Yeah- yes” he mumbled, pulling her close and holding her against him. His nose buried in her hair and the soft skin of her face pressed to his neck. His eyes fluttered shut and he held her their for a short well, his hands gently caressing her hips and waist.
He knew it would be inappropriate to touch her, to think of her in any indecent way but part of him just couldn’t help himself. He was attracted to her in every way, she was so kind and thoughtful. He wondered how happy she was on the day to day. He wondered how many people got to see her big smile and get given personal gifts from her.
Sometimes he worried that it would be bad to date a fan, would he be taking advantage of her love for him? And then the worry would settle, does she like him or his characters?
It clouded his mind and he felt her pull back, looking up at his face. “You okay?” She whispered, seeing his eyes zoned out. He seemed to snap back when her hand touched his face and she quickly retracted it “I’m sorry”
“No, it’s alright” he smiled, squeezing her hand gently before stepping back. “You were here for the autograph again?” He asked, and she shook her head
“Photo” she corrected and his face went red, glancing to the camera man who was looking thoroughly amused
“Right” he whispered “a photo” he repeated and she laughed softly
He pulled her close and smiled for the camera. She was the last one so he walked her back to the door, his hand automatically on her waist as though it belonged there.
———————————————————————
After that, Joseph had very nervously sent a message to Y/n. She had assumed it was on of her friends messing with her and told him to go away. He proceeded to ring her and prove her wrong making her apologise profusely and promise she didn’t know it was him. She could hear Daniel Gillies laughing in the back ground and Jospeh telling him to shut up but letting her know it was okay.
They messaged more and more frequently, video calling sometimes in the evening.
The two would talk about the next conventions and when they could see each other again, Joseph felt bad that Y/n had to pay so much to see him for a few minutes and offered to pay for her but she always refused. Until one day, a few months later when she couldn’t afford to go and he practically begged her to send her bank details so he could transfer her.
When she came and saw him, she hugged him so tight and kissed him on the cheek. He felt like he was floating, he went to his her on the cheek back but caught her lips. He could hear people around gasping but he couldn’t care in that moment. All he could think about was her lips on him, his finger weaved into her hair and he kissed her with as much passion as he could show without putting his tongue in her mouth.
He didn’t want people getting to many pictures so he turned her around, away from everyone so they could just see his back as he kissed her gently. His hand cupped her cheek once he reluctantly pulled away, his eyes on her swollen lips before their lifted to her eyes. She was breathing fast but Joseph knew he was too.
“I hope the next fan doesn’t get that too” she whispered and he laughed
“They won’t, I promise” he murmured, kissing her once more and grabbing his pen without turning around. He scribbled his signature onto her shirt, right on her breast making her grin. “I’ll call you later” he muttered, pecking her cheek
And with that she walked away, other fans squealing and looking at her as she floated through the crowds.
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