#vs the many creatures in my home

[gideonisms]

I feel like if I could just communicate with bugs and come to an understanding perhaps it would not be so scary. If you are a spider and it's my house but you stay in your corner that is fine but see I don't know you'll do that do I?

[tofupixel]

Hello! I randomly came across your art on my feed, first of all its absolutely fckn amazing. You’re are very talented and all of it is so beautiful, but I’ve also seen that you’re creating art for a game, and/or making a new game in general. Really curious as to what game, if you’re able to tell me! It looks amazing! I’m a sucker for indie farm/fantasy type games! Tysm ♥️

thank you!

oh yay i get to talk about sprite festival

its set in a fantasy world where these little 4 legged creatures are spirits that come in many varieties. they are based on a species my friend/the creator made called chowlings but other species will be in the game.

it's a sandbox / rpg game where players will be able to customize their home/plot of land and even their own character with an editable spritesheet. there will be fighting, battling and farming elements as well.

base sprite vs customized one

there are a few artists working on it, not just me, but i do most of the exterior tileset, specifically the natural stuff

RN i am working on an inner forest explorable biome which will be more ancient, with densely packed giant trees and ruins and stuff.

the little walking guy i was working on today is based on this concept by the creator:

no page yet for the game but we are aiming for kickstarter this year. i will post more about it when i'm able!

here's a video of the UI test as a treat! i dont have a lot of nice looking stuff to show off cos it all gets put together by someone else in the engine so lol

thx for asking !!

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Kobolds

I started playing d&d during 3rd edition, which presented kobolds as a trap happy gaggle of dragon obsessives who were counted as the weakest but smartest of the traditional dungeonfodder humanoids. Other than being lizardy they were presented near identically to goblins, both being petty and cruel and resentful over their small stature and the place it meant they occupied in the world. This overlap is actually one of the reasons I haven't gotten to kobolds before now, as I kinda felt like I covered most of it in my writeup for goblins a couple years ago.

Since Kobolds are a reoccuring request however I eventually decided I was going to give the people what they wanted. My plan was to talk about d&d dragonsimp kobolds vs. warcraft candleloving kobolds vs. jrpg dogpeople kobolds, and how all of these relate back to creature's mythological origin but hey wait a minute the official forgotten realms wiki says WHAT ?

Huh, that sounds like a weird sort of projection from a man who's super insecure about his height. I wonder if the original dragon magazine listed as a source here has anything more to.. Oh.... OH-NO

Living space, huh? Extinction of weaker peoples, eh? A religion based around survival, insularity, obedience, and the defeat of stronger enemies through attrition, yadon'tsay? Man, the canine kobolds might be on to something because there's an ORCHESTRA of dogwhistles going on here.

Friends, there's a lot to unpack here, so like a kobold with a pickax lets dig in

Where it started: the connection between kobolds and goblins and gnomes predates d&d back to mythological roots, as all are names shared by the european folklore character of "weird little guy who lives under the hill and plays tricks on us". Kobolds have an even more delightful bit of etymology attached, as miners blamed them for magically transforming valuable silver for (at the time) worthless cobalt. Originally my rehash of kobalds was going to centre on them as tinkerers/engineers for this reason, as alchemical cobalt batteries sound rad as hell.

Kobolds are in this way also part of the greater traditions of "mine spirits", Knackers, tommyknockers, and the like. Who play tricks on miners, and are just as likely to cause disaster when displeased as they are to warn of it when befriended.

Then the d&d authors did what they always do, they pilfered the name of folkloric creatures for the game while ignoring actual mythology, drawing hard and fast lines and making up rigid catagories as they went.

What's wrong: Given their proclivity for traps, sneak attacks, and guerilla tactics you end up getting a LOT of comparisons between Kobolds and the Viet Cong… which I find very telling.  So many of the original d&d antagonists were vessels for middle aged geeks of the 70s and 80s to hit back at their insecurities ( whether it be challenges to their masculinity, sexuality, or something more existential) it doesn’t surprise me at all that d&d has an enemy that let american boomers rehash their nation’s at the time biggest military debacle. 

Kobolds are so weak and undeserving you understand, they’ve only survived because they’re tricky, but this time we’ll get them, if we come in with enough firepower and hirelings to get through the meatgrinder we can finally hit them where they live and deal with them for good. 

D&D worldbuilding imagines kobolds as “the other” from an occupier’s lens: resentful of their rightful displacement, nursing their hatreds in the shadows, emerging only to attack or to steal and despoil what they’ve been denied. They have no ambition, no culture, no wants beyond being a threat for the new dominant power. They’re cowards for using traps and poison and tactics on those here to plunder their homes. 

What’s worth Salvaging:  While the 3e revision of kobolds as dracomaniacs is a welcome change from their old lore I’m not especially fond of it. Overuse of dragons is one of the things that most turns me off general fantasy media. Any group of sapient creatures serving a dragon is just as likely to form a dragoncult, it doesn’t make kobolds special. 

That said, if you did want to double down on kobold dragon worship you might consider spicing in a few elements from my revamped version of Tiamat, painting their reverence not just as ego and overcompensation but as a desire to emulate and become…certian kobold enclaves possibly using sorcery or alchemy to transform a chosen among their people into a fully fledged wyrm. 

While we’ve mostly tossed alignment to the curb where it belongs,to distinguish kobolds from goblins it might be worth leaning into their lawful aspects; Underfoot foremen and notaries and  work crews addressing things with a utilitarian collective effort before scurrying out of sight when the shift change occurs.  Where as goblins are screwball and slapstick onto the verge of cartoonishness, perhaps kobolds are practical and industrious to the point of causing problems: They dam a river to access a sacred cave heedless of the disruption and flooding it’d cause, they tear down, occupying and restoring a derelict mill and restoring it to function regardless of who owns it, undermining the foundations of the duke’s palace following a vein of copper in the nearby hills. 

This efficiency-focused attitude also helps thematically define mechanically minded kobolds against gnomes and dwarves as the game’s other tinkerers:  They share the practicality of dwarven artisans and the inventiveness of gnomish artificers, but lack the sentiment the other two place on what they make.  Kobold craft is often regarded as lower quality, but that’s because resource efficiency and easy replaceability are primary metrics upon which they judge something. 

Artsource

[lightandfellowship]

Things that really get my gears turning with regards to Xehanort visiting La Cite des Cloches pre-DDD:

Xehanort visiting it directly after the MoM's speech to him about "false light" and misguided love, and this causing him to finally grapple with his conflicted feelings towards Player. Specifically when observing what Frollo has been doing to Quasi all his life (aka imprisoning him away from others with claims of "it's for your own protection.") Maybe it's after visiting this world that Xehanort starts to refer to his childhood home as a "prison". <- Also could tie into YMX telling Sora his heart is a prison in DDD. Like I know it was Sora or someone else who said the line first but when YMX repeats it back to Sora I gotta imagine he's also thinking about his own relationship to "prisons".

The dramatic irony of Xehanort looking at Frollo and not realizing that he himself is going to become a Frollo later in life. "Judge Claude Frollo longed to purge the world of vice and sin / And he saw corruption everywhere except within."

Also my god the Frollo + Quasi, Master Xehanort + Vanitas parallels. "Even this foul creature may yet prove one day to be / Of use to me."

I'm also thinking about how Frollo was the one to name Quasimodo and his name means "half-formed". Xehanort's name can be an anagram of X and "no heart". And also there's Xehanort giving Vanitas his name, which is a word associated with death and futility. Just a bunch of characters being given demeaning names lol.

Going back to the "false light" stuff, I feel like Frollo is one of the best examples of that among the Disney villains. As Xehanort says to the MoM after his world tour: "They believe themselves to be moral and virtuous, but it's all an act." So if you needed Xehanort to see "false light" in action, this world is just perfect for that.

Please. Imagine. One-on-one Xehanort vs. Frollo boss fight (Frollo can wield the sword from the end of the movie). And then maybe in the second phase Frollo summons a Heartless minion to fight alongside him like the Clayton + Stealth Sneak boss in KH1 (depending on if the Emblem Heartless are still inexplicably around after KHDR, I guess. If not, we can just have the first phase and nothing else). Xehanort is like "Look, okay, yes, maybe I am partially beating you up as a means of venting some of the complicated feelings I have towards my guardian, but also you in particular just suck, you're a danger to everyone around you, and I want you gone from this world forever." And then this marks the second time that Xehanort has just straight up murdered a guy who also happens to represent what he'll become later in life (he is, unfortunately, starting to grow numb to the sensation).

Honestly, realistically, it would probably make more sense for Xehanort not to interfere with the worlds at all, but...I just really want more one-on-one Disney villain boss fights in these games.

Like, seriously, in a theoretical KHDR sequel, this world would probably be my #1 pick just because there's so many layers to its relevancy.

[cuubism]

I keep thinking abt the Threshold vs the Dreaming, since we don’t see much of the Threshold besides the gallery (did u notice Desire’s sigil in their gallery is a mirror?) but there’s no way the entire Threshold is glossy latex hallways, right? There’s gotta be … furniture? Rooms? At least a bed somewhere? A sitting room? What’s it like in there!!!!! Why doesn’t Desire have their own castle like Dream does???

I have some answers to this actually! Since I just read the relevant comics issue.

In Doll's House the Threshold is described thus:

There is only one thing to see in the twilight realm of Desire. It is called The Threshold. The fortress of Desire. Desire has always lived on the edge. The Threshold is larger than you can easily imagine. It is a statue of Desire, him- her- or it-self. (Desire has never been satisfied with just one sex. Or just one of anything--excepting only perhaps the Threshold itself.) The Threshold is a portrait of Desire, complete in all details, built from the fancy of Desire out of blood, and flesh, and bone, and skin. And, like every true citadel since time began, the Threshold is inhabited.

There is only one occupant, at this time. Desire of the Endless. The Threshold is far too large for just one person. It contains two eardrums larger than a dozen marble ballrooms. And empty, echoing veins, like tunnels. You will walk them until you grow old and die without once retracing your steps. Given Desire's temperament, however, there was only one place in the cathedral of its body to make its home. Desire lives in the heart.

So basically, the idea is that Desire lives within the body, and the rooms we see in the show are the inner chambers of a heart. While dreams are made of fantasy and hopes and stories, Desire is physical to the point of literally being represented by a body -- meanwhile we often interpret Dream as not even really having a body in the first place. And there's a self-consumed, self-referential sense to the Threshold, such that Desire literally lives within itself, and is consumed with and preoccupied by itself, solitary, hidden, shielded. The end of the edition contains the following lines -- Desire walks the chambers of its heart. It walks the Threshold, its citadel and its protection--

The solitude and hard edges of the structure are a shield so Desire does not have to admit outside influence, does not have to admit lack of control -- "Human beings are the creatures of Desire. They twist and bend as I require it -- if I thought otherwise, I would crack, like Delirium; or I would abandon my realm, like our lost brother" -- "Desire walks the endless pathways of its body, certain that it is in sole and only control of its destiny" -- the thought of being subject to outside forces or not being in control is frightening to Desire. Which is ironic, considering how out of our control the feeling of desire is, how it happens regardless of choice, and how hard it is to wrangle back. But the Threshold is also representative of desire as a concept, how one will wander through wanting for one's whole life, always finding new things to look for as each one is satisfied; how frightening it can be to reveal a deeply-held want or relinquish it to another person's control (by revealing feelings for example); how closely we hold our desires to ourselves and how they guide our actions; how desire is usually a very personal and solitary and internal experience.

(I don't know if the Threshold even has furniture, actually. I think it's possible Desire spends a lot of time wandering the many isolated empty halls. Interesting too, how the veins are described as empty and echoing, the heart, presumably, not actually beating at all.)

This comics edition also has that line love is in the realm of Desire and desire is always cruel -- which I'm not sure I agree with conceptually, I think that may be more of Dream's perspective, and that really love might be shared between Dream and Desire's domains, and that the Endless's domains overlap more than they might think -- but that's just my feeling. In the end, I think Dream and Desire's respective realms just reflect their sense of their own domain. They're both holding themselves apart from humanity in different ways - Desire thinks humanity should be subject to them, theirs to play with and manipulate. Dream just thinks that he himself isn't really a person, so he's overseeing and shepherding things, but locked away in his tower, not really connecting or admitting himself any humanity. The fact that their interaction with humanity is so different - Desire localized in the body, in the real, Dream in the mind and the abstract, isn't helping with their strained relationship either.

At least, that's how I like to read it :)

[spacebarbarianweird]

For the parental HCs prompts:

Hide and seek with the amazing Alethaine? Vampire vs. Barbarian vs. Dhampir and

see who wins (I bet on Alethaine because she sneaky!)

Summary: Astarion plays hide-in-seek with his daughter but it doesn't go smoothly.

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, dadstarion

Alethaine's age: 6-year-old

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Dadstarion prompts

“Now my turn to hide!” Alethaine squeals as she waves to Astarion from the ground.

Astarion chuckles and jumps from the branch. There is no point in hiding from Alethaine – as a dhampir, she just knows where he is. 

Sometimes Astarion thinks it’s a blessing – his daughter will always be able to find him, no matter what. But then he remembers the 7000 spawns released in  the Underdark. How many of them have already conceived children? Pale half-vampires, born one foot in their parents’ graves?

And how many of them have decided to hunt vampires?

Will Astarion ever be safe, after all? Or will his mercy towards his victims be the end of him?

“But I will hide very very well, much better than you!” the six-year-old elf’s ears twitch in anticipation.

It’s a dark night, way past midnight and the dark woods of the Unicorn Run are as unsettling to mortals as possible.

But Astarion and his daughter aren’t mortals; thus, the woods have become their playground. Here, in the dark of the night, Astarion can forget about his vampirism and his limitations in the daylight. Here and now, he is the father of this little girl and he plays hide-and-seek with her. 

What can be more normal?

“Alethaine, don’t run too far away, '' he tells her strictly.

She nods and grins. Another weird quirk of the little dhampir. Astarion can’t catch her scent, so he tracks her the same way he does with Tiriel. Her heartbeat is so quiet he can’t hear it. She is invisible to him the same way she would have been if they were mortal elves.

“Count to… twenty!” She tells him and once Astarion turns away she disappears in the woods. 

Astarion tries to hear her footsteps but they soon fade away. He stops counting and slowly moves forward.

There is something natural about this game. Something that appeals to his predatory side. Astarion makes no sounds looking for the hiding girl.

Thanks to the dark vision he sees perfectly – and he also catches heartbeats and breathings of different night animals that hide in fear sensing the presence of the undead. 

Alethaine is nowhere to be seen or heard.

Astarion feels the wave of panic but suppresses it. She just hid somewhere in the bushes or in the leaves. Soon when he fails to find her she will run to him laughing and mocking him for “failing such a simple task”.

But it doesn’t happen.

“Alethaine!” he calls her out. “Alethaine, are you all right?”

No answer. His daughter has just disappeared. 

Old habits that refuse to die heighten his new fears. He lost his daughter. Something bad has happened to her. What is he going to tell Tiriel? What if Alethaine is wounded? What if someone kidnapped her?

What if she’s fallen down on the rocks and died?

“Alethaine!” Now his voice trembles and he feels his body freeze.

Mistakes mean punishment. Punishment means pain. Even now when there is no one to torture him, his mind can perfectly do it.

Astarion calls for Alethaine and searches her across the area, but she is just gone as if taken by a fey. Maybe she has been? There are so many dark creatures who love to mess up with little kids. Well, whoever and whatever did this must know that Astarion is very good at breaking contracts and beating the shit out of powerful bastards who deceive and manipulate.

Another wave of fear makes his skin itch.

The sunrise.

He looks to the east and sees that the skies are turning lighter and the stars start disappearing.

“Fuck!” Astarion’s voice is already hoarse. “ALETHAINE!”

He needs to come back to the town. Run to their home that was built in the underground part of Daggerlake and tell Tiriel what has happened. He is embarrassed, he hasn’t felt so much guilt since…. forever.

He had one job – to take care of their daughter. And he failed. He’s lost his child in the woods.

Of course, he couldn’t be trusted. Who the fuck would think he could be a good father?

Astarion rushes home driven by a terror only the undead know. The fear of burning.

“Astarion!” Tiriel who’s spent the whole night in the tavern in the upper-town and probably has just come back stares at him anxiously. “Where… Where is Alethaine?!”

“I am so sorry… She… just…disappeared…” Astarion sits on the porch and grabs a fistful of his hair. “It was sunset… I couldn’t… stay…”

Tiriel casts a glance at him and he subconsciously expects anger but sees nothing but motherly fear.

“It’s all right… I am going to look for her. She has probably just hidden somewhere”

“What if something bad happened to her? I will never forgive myself!” Astarion sniffs. 

Tiriel, still dizzy after the merry night, takes her two-handed ax. “I will find her. Don’t worry. How far were you from the tunnel?”

“Maybe half a mile. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have taken her to the woods”

“Don’t be stupid, love. You can’t be outside the lower town in the daylight. When else are you supposed to play and walk with her?” she kisses his cheek. 

Astarion nods but he knows Tiriel is scared to death, she just never shows it up when he is afraid too. And he is sorry for that, too.

**

Alethaine has cried her eyes out. 

At first, it sounded like a good idea to hide a bit further in the woods. Her dad is a vampire and he can find her! But then she saw a weird-looking butterfly and followed it, enchanted by its blue wings. 

And the dhampir got lost.

She started calling for Dad, but he couldn't hear her and she had no idea how far she wandered. Then, Alethaine decided that maybe Dad returned home and she needed to do it too but the narrow pathways of the dark woods took Alethaine even further. 

She has never felt so lonely and scared in her life.

Alethaine cried hoping her dad would hear her, but no one came. Now, she is sitting on a small boulder in the center of the clearance and the sun is showering the woods in its light.

Alethaine is hungry.

And tired.

It’s way past noon, the last time she ate was when she left home with dad – mother told them she would go to drink some ale in the tavern.

The dhampir sniffs.

She wants home. She wants to eat. She wants to sleep. She wants her parents. Her stuffed toys. 

Alethaine starts crying again.

“Alethaine!” She hears her mother’s voice from a distance. 

“Mum! Mum!” Alethaine jumps on her feet. Her dhampir hearing immediately identifies where Tiriel is, and the girl rushes there.

The red-headed woman lifts her up and hugs her. Alethaine wails and presses her little face to her mother’s shoulder.

“Where have you been?!” Tiriel pulls Alethaine away and starts looking at her arms and legs trying to see if she is wounded. “Dad told you not to wander too far, how come you’ve disappeared?”

She sniffs.

“I wanted… I wanted… To hide better… And then… there was a butterfly…”

Tiriel squeezes her lips and Alethaine senses how her mother’s fear is being replaced by anger.

It's not easy to make Tiriel angry, but Alethaine, like any child, managed to do that.

“Your father is scared to death. I was scared to death. What if someone took you?”

Within the next half an hour Alethaine hears all the possible stories about children who were taken by feys, and hags, eaten by wolves, kidnapped by giants, frozen to death, drowned in rivers, and died of open wounds. Every story feels like a slap and, even though none of her parents have ever gotten physical on her, Alethaine suspects being spanked wouldn’t be that scary in comparison to the horrors her mother tells in the barbarian voice she uses against her enemies.

“Let’s go home” Tiriel lifts Alethaine up again. “No sweets till the end of the week. And you aren’t going to play outside until you learn how to follow the rules.”

“But mum!”

“You heard me, Alethaine.”

Alethaine places her cheek on her mother’s shoulders. The fear is taking its grip on the dhampir’s half-dead heart and she just wants to hide under the blanket at home.

**

Astarion tries to occupy his mind with something at least. Worrying won’t do him any good. He needs to wait till Tiriel is back and, gods, he hopes Alethaine has just got lost. And that nothing bad has happened.

It’s been too long.

Tiriel left at the early summer sunrise. And now it’s almost evening.

Astarion takes one of his books out. It’s a collection of short stories for kids he found in a dungeon a year ago, but, once he opened it for the first time he realized it’s actually a guide on how to join the thief guild written in Thieves Cant. It’s been years since he practiced the language for the last time and it feels like a good mind exercise.

And then he hears the familiar scent. 

Tiriel is coming back.

Astarion can’t understand if she carries Alethaine or not, and he’s afraid his wife is coming back alone.

He rushes outside and sees Tiriel coming back with Alethaine in her arms. The fear lets him go and he runs to them to truly make sure she is fine.

“Where did you… Gods…” he gasps, taking Aletaine from her hands. The girl's face is puffy because of how long she’s cried. 

“She ran away. And got lost.”

“I told her not to…” Astarion presses Alethaine to his chest as if fearing she would disappear.

“Well, I suppose she’s learned her lesson. And will learn it even better,” Tiriel repeats what punishment Alethains is going to receive. 

Astarion places sleepy Alethaine on a bench and helps her to undress. It's obvious the girl needs to bathe and eat, but she is barely conscious so he decides to bring her night dress and let her do the rest once she wakes up.

The word “punishment” ties a knot in his stomach.

“Tiriel, she almost died! I think it’s enough punishment,” he says once Alethaine is put to bed. The girl hugs a plushie dragon and immediately falls asleep.

“It's not enough, '' Tiriel says, closing the door. “Astarion, please, I know what it reminds you of. Punishment, disobedience. Running away. Your master twisted the idea of a family making you call him his father and other spawns your siblings. But there is nothing internally bad about punishing a child for breaking rules.”

“She almost died!” Astarion insists. “She is scared.”

Tiriel shakes her head. 

“Alethaine is much stronger than me. She can already take my ax! She is stronger than you and, soon, she will understand it. And if she decides to run away in the daylight you won't be able to stop her. Imagine her hooking up with someone older than her, who can manipulate her? Alethaine will just go not knowing what dangers lie ahead! And we won’t be able to do anything! We need to punish her for what she did. Because what she did could have killed her. Actions have consequences and we both have to be on board with that. You can’t be “the good parent” in this scenario. Because if you spoil her rotten and I try to impose rules, she will just do whatever she wants.”

Astarion clenches his fists. Rules. Disobedience.

And now one more terrible similarity.

Many of his victims, the ones who weren’t just lonely travelers or drunkards, were those careless young people, girls and boys, who, for some reason, thought nothing would happen if they got wasted with a handsome stranger in a shady tavern. Or someone would save them from vampires if they fucked up.

Kids who knew no dangers were coddled by their parents from this dangerous world and were killed for that.

“I agree. She needs to learn,” Astarion finally says.

It doesn’t go smoothly. Alethaine, probably being sure that it was all just words, asks for gingerbread after dinner and starts crying after a rejection.

“No sweets,” Tiriel reminds her.

Alethaine looks at Astarion with her puppy eyes but he shakes his head showing that there can’t be any disagreement between him and Tiriel.

Then, they don’t let her go to play with the neighbor’s kids who come to pick her up on their way to the river which causes another meltdown that stops the moment Alethaine realizes her cries aren’t working.

Unluckily for her, both her parents can withstand much worse things than the meltdown of a six-year-old.

**

The young man in a rich red doublet looks anxious. All his arrogance and pride have disappeared the moment he realizes people call Astarion a vampire for a reason.

“Will you… Will you do what I ask?” he cocks his head. The heir of one of the local jarls, the boy has gotten used to getting what he wants. And now he is bound by a pact with a hag who will turn him into a gnoll if he fails to deliver her his bride, and he needs to ask a vampire for help.

“One hundred and fifty gold. And you pay the half right now. I will come to your father for the rest once we’ve done” Astarion plays with his dagger trying to look as distraught as possible. 

“That’s insane! Eighty gold!”

“I have a family to feed, boy. '' Astarion chuckles. “Besides, you were dumb enough to make a pact with the hag. What did you want? Money? Power? More lands? Didn’t your parents teach you not to meddle with things you can't understand?”

The young man huffs. Then he notices Tiriel, who watches the whole conversation in silence – and cringes at the sight of a fresh bite mark she hasn’t hidden. 

Astarion suppresses the desire to beat the guest. 

“I was dying in the swamps… She… It…”

“Offered you salvation because you told her you would do anything?” Tiriel finishes the sentence. 

“I can hire an adventure party to slay the hag! I thought you were going to help me with the contract but you aren't the only one who does this kind of work!” 

Tiriel laughs. “There will be at least six adventurers and each of them will demand a fair share. And if they make it out alive, there will be one with good intimidation and persuasion skills - and you will end up paying much more. Oh, and there is a big chance they will make a deal with the hag and will bring you to her because hags usually have more things to offer.”

“They… They won't!”

“I've been an adventurer since I was fifteen. Trust me, I know my kind. I would have made a pact with the hag.”

“To be fair,” Astarion adds. “You murdered the hag.”

“Wyll dealt the final blow. And I was staying in the corner of her lair contemplating what choices led me to have a tadpole in my brain, a vampire in my bed, and ‘killing the devil’ in my to-do list.”

“The devil you’d made a pact with, which I told you not to do,” Astarion reminds her.

“Hm, it ended up well, didn’t it? I was also advised against giving you blood and meddling with your master. I did both,” Tiriel presses the young man’s shoulder causing him to yelp in pain. “Astarion is your best choice. You don’t need a monster hunter. You need a magistrate.”

The young man looks absolutely defeated and then calls his bodyguard, a half-orc woman who puts a few small sacks of gold on the table. 

“Don’t involve my father in this, once you’ve done, come to me and I’ll pay the rest”

“No,” Astarion bares his fangs. “We go together. And you follow my every order”

Tiriel takes the money and leaves the room to store the gold in the basement of their house.

Suddenly, the guest looks up at the ceiling and mutters something incomprehensible. Astarion follows his sight and sees Alethaine standing right above the table upside down. She wears her black dress and her long hair is braided. 

“Is she a vampire?” The bodyguard asks.

“Dhampir. This is my daughter, Alethaine. Princess, don’t scare my clients. Come down and say ‘hello’.”

Alethaine does not react. She just sits on the ceiling and observes the visitors. Astarion shrugs.

“Not very talkative today,” Astarion continues. “We go at sunset through the underground tunnels. Don’t worry, I won’t drag you to the Underdark. Unless you really piss me off. Wait for me in the tavern. Now go, I need to prepare for the road.” Astarion bares his fangs again, enjoying the fear on the guests’ faces. 

Alethaine jumps from the ceiling once the strangers leave. 

“I don’t like them,” she says.

“I don’t either. Did you want anything?”

“Daddy, are you going to be away for long?”

“Maybe a month. Don’t worry, I will be home before the winter starts”

Alethaine frowns. 

“I am sorry. For running away. I won’t do this again. Can we play in the woods when you are back?”

Astarion studies his daughter’s face. There is an honest guilt in her pitch-black eyes. 

“Apologies accepted. Come here.”

Alethaine wraps her pale hands around his neck and he enjoys the sound of her heartbeat for a few moments.

“Can I go out with my friends while you are away?”

“Yes. But only in the town.”

It takes Astarion an hour to get ready for the trip into the wild. He knows Tiriel wants to go with him, but they’ve agreed not to leave Alethaine on her own while she is so small. 

“When you are back, I will give you a very good rest, if you know what I mean,” Tiriel playfully smiles and kisses him goodbye. 

Such a normal thing, he thinks.

A father is going to do some work in the wild.

His little family will be waiting for him.

Such a normal thing and so precious to him. 

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

@asterordinary  

@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

[mithrilhearts]

Maeve's 4k Follower Event

Battle of the Plot Bunnies

2024 has been a great year of finishing up fics for me, so it's time to unveil some new ones! I'm so excited to be able to do this, and have you guys help me essentially decide which fic gets tossed into the actual WIP pile next! Which is to say, THANK YOU for your continued support!

There are eight plot bunnies I've plucked from my Ideas list that I'm interested in developing further. Some of them have drabbles already, some have a little outlining attached, and some have barely even a working title.

Each fic will have a small summary and some bullets of information attached to it so you get an idea of what the plot/concept is!

✨ Feel free to ask me about any of those fic ideas for more information if you like! I will provide what I can!

First Round (Release Date: 10/27)

Battle of the "Modern" ideas

Battle of the "Erebor Never Fell" ideas

Battle of the "Based on another story" ideas

Battle of the "Maeve's Choice" ideas

Semifinals

Battle of the "Cottagecore vs Dragons" Themes

Battle of the "Soulmate vs Time Travel" Tropes

Finals

TBD

‼️Fic Summaries/Information below!‼️ All information below is subject to change as the fics develop

Modern AUs

Courtesy Call - Rated Explicit

While trying to make a most courteous call to pull his RSVP from his cousin's birthday party versus not showing at all, a misdial directs him to a particularly spicy line that's all about receiving a good time with oneself. The man on the other end is both baffled and challenged by a sudden new caller to his private line, but takes the challenge with everything his voice can provide. - Outdated Ficlet

Sweeter Than Honey - Rated Teen+

Bilbo Baggins runs a successful honey farm on the west side of the Brandywine River. His peaceful days of honey handicraft grow tense as a new logging company, owned by one Thror Oakes, draws closer to his land. It’s how he meets Thorin, a lumberjack living under the thumb of his grandfather, the owner. They should have been adversaries - the two are on opposite sides of nature, but as it is so often said: opposites attract. - Outdated Ficlet - Basic Information/Ideas via ask game

Based On Another Story

No Place Like Home - Rated Teen+

Smaug the Terrible was destined to be slain by a hero in king's armor. To prevent such a fate to pass, Smaug, an enchanter of great power, invaded the kingdoms of Erebor, Dale, and the Greenwood, stripping its citizens of their memories, and taking the throne. Banishing the three kings in an attempt to secure his safety, Smaug took the best part of each king, making them more vulnerable than ever. No one was smart enough, nor brave enough, or had enough heart to stand in his way. Until a most unlikely creature tumbles in. - Influenced by Alice in Wonderland & The Wizard of Oz - Basic Information/Ideas via ask game

Forged in Dragonfire - Rated Teen+

Durin the Deathless is a legend to every dwarf that knows the tale. A king, a dragonslayer, and one who possessed great power to do so. The blood of the dragonslayer was to pass from firstborn to firstborn, but as the war calmed, such rumors fell to myth, and those myths became lost with time, even as Smaug sought retaliation some generations later. A retaliation that was deadly, just as it was successful. Erebor had finally fallen. After many years of hardship, a wizard shows himself in Ered Luin, seeking the only dwarf who might be able to rekindle a little dragonfire in his blood to take down one of the world's deadliest creatures. One who is hellbent on claiming every kingdom in Middle Earth beneath his claws. - Influenced by Skyrim - Basic Information/Ideas via ask game

Erebor Never Fell

Heartstones - Rated Teen+

It’s believed that dwarves are blessed in one of two ways: by their heartstone, or their heartcraft, both a calling of the soul. When Thorin is convinced he has neither, a quest for his happiness takes him far beyond the Misty Mountains to the West. It’s in the West that Frerin is convinced they’ll find Thorin’s calling. Be that a happiness of the heart or the craft. - Outdated Ficlet - Basic Information/Ideas via ask game

Thief of Hearts - Rated Mature

Bilbo retired from his life of gentle burglary years ago to care for his ailing mother. With Belladonna's illness getting worse, he seeks out the aid of an enchanter, who is said to give people anything they want in exchange for a little task. Bilbo's task is to burgle one little stone from one lonely mountain under the nose of its king. Lucky for him, Erebor is preparing to host a grand party in hopes of finding a spouse for the oldest prince. It's the perfect distraction, and no one will see him coming.

Maeve's Choice

Twice In A Lifetime - Rated Mature

Just days before the siege on the Dimrill Gate, Thorin voices his guilt about his inability to keep his people safe when Smaug took the mountain. In the middle of an angry prayer to Mahal himself, the ringing of an anvil is the last thing Thorin remembers before waking up within the rolling green hills of the Shire. It’s there he’s greeted by a set of hazels he’d never forget. Not in this lifetime. - Outdated Ficlet

Wretched & Divine - Rated Explicit

After the battle, Bilbo continued to keep the Arkenstone close to his chest to protect those around him. He suspects that there’s more to this ‘Dragon Sickness’ than just the gold, and must figure out how he can save Thorin from his madness. All of this while trying to deal with the dwarf’s fascination with him with an intensity that rivals the obsession of finding the Arkenstone. Or: What if Bilbo had never given away the Arkenstone to Bard and Thranduil, and Thorin never kicked the gold sickness. - Outdated Ficlet

[solar-sunnyside-up]

Hey, I’m sorry to dump this on ya but your blog gives me a lotta hope and I just wondered if you had anything to say to my current ails- I am but a very anxious teen and I am so scared. I see so many people talking of how the world “Will end in 2040” or how “damn the past was so much better because it was simpler” and I am lowkey starting to believe that. I’ve got a problem with romanticizing a past I wasn’t even a part of and I really don’t want to live in some awful dystopian future and I fear I’ve missed out on so much because of when I was born :( and how come no one can afford basic shit anymore? I don’t wanna have no money at all! I really would like to be happy in the future but with all the bullshit caused by social media and the lack of money it seems bleak. I’m sorry that this is such a negative ask but I am not doing so hot and was hoping you’d have an insight ? Don’t respond if you don’t wanna

Hey ya there sprout 🌱 it can be really tough out there!

Your feelings are valid, so valid in fact that those exact feelings are why Solarpunk as it currently exists is around! We've all been there!

Between the wages of the top 10% of ppl vs everyone else being greater then during the French revolution, the average citizen globally being worse off then when the great depression was happening, climate crisis after crisis, all while consuming endless bits of info both horrifying (ex Politics) and hopeful (ex Social Media activism) it's waaaay too much for anyone to bare alone! Much less constantly! That burden shouldn't be on any of us!! But since it is, I'm here to help at least lighten the load even if temporary.

The best thing to do when we feel like this is to stop. Find 5 minutes to be still. We are fight/flight/fawn creatures and we will only loop in our solutions without actual clear choices if we don't Chill Out. We're mammals our natural state is Chilling Out and Play.

Next, think about how cool the planet is and particularly how cool humans are?

How there's finger flutes on ceilings thousands of years old, smaller then average indicating that parents held their children up to draw on the ceilings.

Think about the invention of looms and spinning fibers! What other creature could do that? Think about the kids that could build Snowmans without aching fingers because of lovingly knit mittens.

We sing like whales do, like birds do, like wolves do, and we do it to share stories and ideas over food! It is the first things babies mimic! We have songs so old we no longer know their origin just that they came from love! We even have songs to herd cattle meaning music transcends just us but bleeds into our relationships with the planet!

That we have play behavior! Just like wolves and foxes and whales and octopus it is so built into our DNA to play its generally how we learn things! This ranges from agriculture (children tossing seeds around, blowing on dandelions!) To chores (parachute games > folding laundry, playing pretend > usually chores/job based) to hunting (tag! Hide and seek!)

Think about our interconnectiveness with the planet too, how we are guided by Honey guides to find abandoned hives to share in the spoils of bread and honey. How Sweetgrass needs us to flourish, how berries and nuts need us to spread across the land, how we fix other animals broken bones and beaks and help them return home when otherwise they wouldn't ever get home.

Now that you can remember we deserve to be here, that you deserve to be here. We can look at the current situation and bare it.

And we do that by doing small things. Jam out and listen to music while picking up litter on your block, go to a library and just hang out or research something you love, make seed Bombs and toss them I to abandoned lots, make silly cartoons. Whatever it is, it will be enough.

The weight of the world isn't ment for the individual no matter how much Capitalism and Elites will try and guilt you over their failures. That weight is ment for collective groups, but your job as a Person is to be happy where you can and to be kind so others can be happy. The last thing that I always keep in my heart is a quote from my fave author Ursula Le Guin:

Hang in there, a brighter tomorrow is gunna happen. I promise 🌻

[ladykailitha]

WIP Wednesday Game

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames or specific AUs your WIPs; not titles, filenames (eg werewolf AU, unnamed mafia omegaverse, or Steve's Rizz vs Eddie's Zero Filter.)

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write at least 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

My only problem is that I tend to file name what the title is so I can find it easier, so...here’s what they were called before I titled them.

“File” Names

Stripper AU

Olympic swimmer AU

Secret Tunnel (game show AU)

Sugar!Baby Steve AU

Nanny Steve AU (new shiny!!)

Snippet

Steve pulled up to the apartment building and turned off his car. He put his head on the steering wheel with a heavy sigh. He was about to hit his head on the horn when he heard it. He lifted his head and tilted it.

There!

Steve scrambled to get out of the car. He rushed toward the sound. He skidded on the wet and icy pavement as he tried to come to a stop, nearly toppling over in the process. Near the dumpsters was a wet cardboard box, falling apart in the thick snow.

He scrambled toward it, trying to keep his feet under him. He knelt in the snow and peeled back as sagging corner of the box to reveal the sweetest thing he had ever seen. There, all alone in the destroyed box was a small cream colored kitten with dark brown ears. It looked up at Steve and mewled in the weakest, most plaintive meow imaginable.

He sank to his knees and with gentle hands scooped the wet creature into his arms. It clung to him as he stood shakily to his feet.

“Hey, little guy,” he murmured. “Don’t you know outside is no place to be at this time of year?”

It mewled again and clung a little harder to Steve’s coat. “There’s no place open for me to get you checked out, little one, but let’s get you inside and dried off at the very least, then I’ll see what I have that you can eat until I can get you some proper food. How does that sound?”

“Mew!”

Steve chuckled. “I figured you’d be down with that.”

He turned away from the now fully collapsed box, that once had read on the outside “KITTENS FREE TO GOOD HOME”

****

It's that great and wonderful time of the week again! WIP Wednesday!

The game runs from 8am-11pm EST.

Send in as many asks as you want as often as you want.

@mira-jadeamethyst @zerokrox-blog @forgottenkanji @w1ll0wtr33 @thesecondfate

@acingthecounts @beelze-the-bubkiss @just-a-tiny-void @kultiras @niniel-karenine

@dreamercec

[bardicious]

Star Trek TOS/SNW Prompt List

Okay, for now this is what I got, and I'm thinking maybe Ill try to make a list like this every month (???maybe?) to get my brain working. Might do another Garashir one tomorrow or after tomorrow. 🤔

Spirk are beamed down to a planet of giants

Spirk fixing a console problem from outside the Enterprise

Spirk feels their T'hy'la bond across the galaxy from each other. (Conceptualization of the T'hy'la)

Spock murders the giant Omni (The Price of Phoenix) in defense of an injured Jim.

The moment Spock mind melds with Jim (as Janice Lester) and the memories that pass between them.

Professor James T. Kirk, a stack of books with legs, teaching a class with Mitchell and Carol in attendance and Janice Lester as co-professor.

Jim takes a moment to mourn his brother, Sam, and his sister-in-law, Aurelian with his nephew Peter.

Jim fights the Gorn (SNW style)

Jim watches the Enterprise as it pierces through Tarsus IV's clouds. The crowds that are left stand in shock as well.

Trelane comes back, older (as teen personality vs TOS's young boy personality), a menace as ever. How will Spock and Kirk deal with him this time?

M'Benga in the middle of the Klingon War.

Doctor M'Benga and Doctor Chapel marry, post tmp. The Enterprise (TOS/SNW) are in attendance.

La'an mourns her Jim as the timeline switches back into place.

Omni (The Price of Phoenix) abducts Jim, on Vulcan as Spock prepares for Kolinahr hears Jim's distress. (pre-tmp) (yes, I am obsessed with this villain and the books)

Jim with his Tholian child, Bright Eyes, find themselves in Sulu's botanic lab.

Mirror Verse!Spirk meet over Pike's dead body, Uhura and Spock are aligned, and impressed with their new Captain.

The SNW crew ARE turned into bunnies, Jim, Spock, and Uhura have to care for them while they fix the problem

The Enterprise and Farragut crews team up to deal with a situation on a Greek themed planet. (SNW)

Harry Mudd and his double? is once again found doing something criminal and ridiculous. 

McSpirk finds themselves in the Mirror Verse's past, an earth where Khan wins, and successfully conquers the Earth (my headcanon on why the Mirror Verse exists).

Young Jim copes (or doesn't) with his first kills on Tarsus IV, while holding young Kevin Riley.

Uhura is planning a musical, sadly many of the bridge crew decline participation, surprisingly Spock does not! He plays the music. Their show becomes a yearly tradition.

Admiral Kirk sits alone in his home on Earth, and drinks. He thinks about Spock and the Enterprise and wonders how it all went wrong.

Yeoman Rand brings new Earth trends to the Enterprise, Uhura, Chapel, La'an, and Una all try something new.

Yeoman Rand and Captain Kirk fight a group of hostile aliens, their movements are in sync. (Yeoman Rand is Captain Kirk's protégée in this prompt)

Rand, Uhura, and Sulu attempt to talk to the local parliament comprised by what looks like sentient flowers.

Future!Spirk get time displaced and find themselves on the SNW Enterprise, not knowing whether they've stopped at an alternate universe, or the past, they keep quiet on the state of future affairs. Between a living Sam Kirk, and an uninjured Pike, both Jim and Spock are stressed.

Jim hesitates to fire at the dikironium cloud creature, and loses consciousness as the creature sets upon the Farragut.

Jim and Spock, and begrudgingly Droxine, catch the view from Stratos.

The enterprise picks up a child from a dying ship. The child with prophetic powers opens a popup storybook that involves the future of the enterprise, the art style depicts a style like the tos series, and two indistinct figures of a captain and his first officer. Chris Pike watches in trepidation as the story unfolds.

[sheepheadfred]

Ectoberhaunt Day 2- Dinosaur

Summary: With a portal to the afterlife in his basement, it's a wonder how they haven't been invaded by extinct creatures before. Not that many would complain about it. Danny would care more if it wasn't on a school night.

AO3 link

Damn! These dinosaurs flying at him from all angles at this time of night! Danny has a test to study for that he'd rather do than fight these toothy monsters! A badly done ghost version of Jurrassic Park, though when they said that Sam went off about the horrible capitalist decisions made by the guy in charge that he tuned it out, not in the mood for what is basically a lecture at this time on a school night.

"Where did these extinct lizards even come from? I've never seen them around in the part of the zone the portal is in."

Tired and cranky gripes coming from a half ghost out way past his curfew and definitely getting grounded once he fails that test in school tomorrow.

"Are you really going to complain about real life dinosaurs, ghostly or not, in front of you?"

"Sam, I'm with Danny. I'd rather not get eaten tonight, or see my best friend bite it like he's in Jurrassic Park."

The Fenton Phones are quite useful in battle to receive his friend's support but he really isn't in the mood for their color commentary. All he wants is to go home at this point.

"Thank you peanut gallery, but do either of you have anything helpful to say while I'm being chased by a T-Rex, some small and fast guys, and the winged fossils coming at me?!"

"Technically, those are raptors and Pterosaurs respectively and Pterosaurs aren't actually dinosaurs."

"Can't they all fly, being ghosts and all?", Tucker oh so helpfully chimed in.

"Can't say I'm surprised Sam knows that, but anything i can USE?" Danny is tired and Sam's recent dinosaur kick will serve his irritation right now. He'd appreciate it more if he didn't have to see real ones. At least these creatures being gone aren't something she can get mad at humans for. Something, something how goth it was to learn about these massive animals that no longer exist- right now he can't even care right now if it makes sense.

"Well, excuse me for being well informed! Fine, if you want to be like that just save me one."

"Sam, I am not giving you a ghost dinosaur that you can sic on people," he really should have seen that coming.

"You are no fun, but I guess it would be unfair to cage such beautiful, wild creatures."

"You're still mad your parents won't let you get a tarantula, aren't you?"

Suddenly he felt the shadow and heavy breath of a large mouth about to snap at him. Oh no, was he distracted, are they working together, or both?

"AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah!" Danny screams, narrowly avoiding being swallowed in one bite.

"We forgot to keep track of them, didn't we?" the deadpan voice in his ear goes.

"No shit, Sherlock." says the snarky voice, answering Danny and Tucker's questions at the same time. Fascination with these creatures aside, it really is time to take it more seriously.

"Since you've already led them to the park, how about -"

This plan took several more hours of back and fourth and near full death. Danny decided to put them back in the zone after school, far away from the portal. If he finds out Vlad was involved he's going to end that man for real.

Danny collapsed on his bed without changing and was awoken three hours later by his dad's booming voice complaining about missing the ghost dinosaurs and that 'no good phantom' a citizen or two must have reported on last night. They weren't exactly quiet after all.

-----

At school, Dannys meets up with his friends who somehow got in an argument about how dino meat tasted vs the ethics of finding out.

"Can we not do this today, please?" Danny is so tired and if they try to pull him in he will just leave. He's already dreading going to class and he does not need their petty debate added to it.

Two 'Hey, Danny's and a thankfully dropped subject later and they headed inside.

"Still want a raptor, though..."

Tucker and Danny looked at each other and just sighed. Exasperated, Danny replies, "Just get a bird, then. Didn't you say they are descendants of dinosaurs or something?"

"Of all the things you remember from my research and it's that. Not a bad idea, though. Raptors are beautiful and endangered creatures, I should learn falconry."

Danny just looked at her and went, "Are you fucking with us right now, because i seriously can't tell."

"Talking bird capitalism, babey..."

Tucker's deadpan delivery was enough to get all three sleep deprived teens laughing and almost missing the first bell.

[chanrizard]

Hi, I just saw the asks about the notps and I got curious about the opposite questions: What are your favorite/best ships in skz in you opinion? I'm new to the fandom (and to IRL shipping actually) and I have been wanting to gush about it.

PS I really like your header <3

ohhhh a baby stay hello hello! 💞💞💞

this is gonna get long lmao in this essay i will...

... list them by personal preference as i don't think there's best/worst ships tbh it's all very subjective and also with this 👇🏻 disclaimer in place let's go

so you might have noticed. and i've been sooo subtle about it this whole time too. i absolutely do not have a soft spot for chanlix the size of jupiter. no but in all seriousness i love their relationship, they're best friends who found their home away from home in each other according to them, it's clear they adore each other and i find so interesting the way one is a Certified Oversharer (affectionate) that will talk and talk and talk and gush about the things and the people he loves the most and the other is the complete opposite and so good at keeping the idol persona and the personal life separated and the more he cares for someone the less he'll talk about it but when he does and when you see it. oh boy. unprecendented levels of fondness

also the complete 180 they do in pre-recorded content like skz code where they barely interact VS their concerts/international interviews/personal vlogs/everyday life is hilarious, they share so many friends within the industry who think of them as a unit we had to find out through them they're kind of joined at the hip actually lmao

i do love minsung too because they're two people who just. Get Each Other. if you've watched the survival show, the way jisung who was a an antagonizing little shit at the time went from being angry at minho for being too handsome when he first met him (???????? okay. completely normal reaction lmao) to declaring him his soulmate and trusting him so much in such a short time is incredible. again couple of besties who find so much comfort in each other and loveee hanging out together to the point jisung's been adopted into minho's childhood friends crew back home in gimpo :')

i'm still dying to find out (if and when they'll share it with us) how they decided their current dorms because based on something hyunjin said in the idays vlog i'm not sure a game wasn't involved but either way it was fate (again) and / or it makes so much sense for them to be rooming together, they work well around each other and i think they're a grounding presence to each other too

now hyunibini my beloved i'm obsessed with them the same way changbin is obsessed with hyunjin. wife and wife. bestie one and two would you still love me if i were a worm meets i would become a worm for you and love you forever you just have to ask. again super close friends since the beginning, polar opposites that complement each other, they're social creatures who love spending time together and eating together whenever they can, especially changbin who used to leave the door to his room open at the old dorm so if anyone wanted to drop by and keep him company it was implicit permission to do so they're so disgustingly cute can i have what they have please and thank you :')

binchan. binchan binchan binchan that's dad and mom of the group right there they've known each other the longest beside han and innie and they love each other so so so much. changbin is the reliable 3rd hyung of skz and chan's rock they've been roomies basically since their pre-debut days and as chan said in his last 2 kids room (please watch that series if you haven't it's so good!!) bin is the one who knows him the best, the one who truly understands him 😭

minchan too makes me insane because one is the most indipendent, adult-like out of all of them what with having lived on his own from a young age and having worked 3/4 jobs before becoming a professional idol who knows chan loves taking care of the people he loves and will let him without grumbling too much and at the same time minho is so good at noticing when it's his turn of taking care of his hyung and will offer to do so knowing he won't be refused against all odds so yeah. yeah.

i think the obvious gigantic crush soft spot innie has for felix is hilarious, he has the strongest case of middle child syndrome i've ever seen and HATESSSSS being babied by his hyungs unless he gains something out of it but not if you're felix. oh no if you're felix you have yongbok privileges and can do whatever you want sjdhbjdb

starting to see a feeble, pale VisionTM on 2min thanks to my friend, they love to bicker and bicker and rile each other up playing the part of the divorced couple but don't let them fool you those two are very Fond of each other :]

[saintmachina]

This is more....confession than ask but I've been having a rough go of it. I was raised catholic and what little I saw of it in catholic school at a super young age was so full of art, mysticism, defiance AND peace, /kindness/, and encouragement to talk to God as /Father/, as family.....I felt so at home in it. I was pulled out of it bc my parents couldn't afford tuition by the time I was 9, so I went to public school. I saw the Church from the outside and I've had random bursts of OCD style attendance to mass vs not going. I feel more at peace with life with not going but I know I should. I know I disagree with the doctrines but I walk into a cathedral and I'm home. I'm moved to tears by stone stations of the cross and stained glass martyrs but I'm a queer adult who fucked with witchcraft and no longer aspire to be a nun or a saint. I feel like I don't belong but also feel bad telling my fellow queers I ID as Catholic knowing the atrocities committed by it and the trauma most of them have. Do you know anyone else with this experience?

I resonate so much with this ask on so many levels, anon, thank you for your earnestness and your honesty. I know a LOT of people with this experience, myself included, so you came to the right place. I'm no priest, but confessions are always welcome here <3

It sounds like you were formed (in the classical sense of spiritual formation, shaped like clay on a wheel or contoured like a rock worn by waves) by the sacredness you experienced in Catholic school. That was your entry point to God, your foundational understanding of the divine, and on one hand, what a blessing to be equipped at a young age with prayers and tools and stories and rituals to help you draw near to the source of all life! But of course, in another sense, how painful to come to the realization that this tradition you love has perpetuated brutal doctrines and painful teachings for centuries, that it has harmed those you cherish (and undoubtedly you as well).

However, I want to ask you some questions. Why do you need to be a nun, or any kind of saint? Why can't you just be a creature in a body that is soul-stirred by the stained glass and the stations of the cross and the tales of the heroic dead? Why should God take any less notice of you because you question, because your love and desire takes the queer shape that God has rooted within you, because you recoil at injustice and cruelty and corruption? Because you sought communion with something supernatural through a method not formally endorsed by the Church, yet practiced historically by many of its priests, scholars, and adherents? Because you grasp for goodness and sometimes prevail and sometimes fail, just like every human that's come before you?

If God is real, than God and all God's symbols and signs, all the rituals and tales and talismans, must be for God's people. And I'll tell you something I believe with all of myself: we are all God's people.

If your heart is most at peace not attending church, that's okay for a season, or maybe forever! But perhaps there are other ways your heart can rest in God, in nature or conversation with friends or personal devotion or private mysticism or communal prayer? You are heir to an inheritance of a long line of queer Catholics, as difficult as that badge is sometimes to bear, but your (our) queer siblings have reshaped history, theology, art, liturgy, music, and more with our talent and perspectives. We are members of the family, beloved children of an attentive and patient Father. No one gets to tell you to leave: this is your house, should you choose to reside here one day out of the year or many.

Sorry, I feel like I'm rambling, but this ask really touched me. Basically, there are not rules, anon. We're all going to die and we're all going to experience so much pain and joy in our glimmering, fragile lives, and God wants to be present in that pain and joy with us, in whatever form God takes, in whatever language we can understand.

I know it can be painful to tell someone you love who has been hurt by the church that religion still holds meaning for you, I wrestle with that every day, but I think the wrestling is worth it, if you proceed with honesty and compassion. No one can tell you what path to take, but I hope I can encourage you in that you aren't walking alone.

Be blessed in your seeking anon, and fortified by the saints, and guided by the light of the archangels and the gentle touch of Mary, and brooded over by the protective wings of God.

[monkie-kid-oc-showdown]

Fei (@night-owl23)

Pronouns: he/him

Fei is a huli jing that grew up being taught by his mom and many others in his village and while he struggles with his magic growing up he did pretty well with hand to hand and weapon training. He was when he was older he was betrayed by his boyfriend that he was captured and taken to a fighting ring where his powers were under lock and key (think like a gladiator fighting to the death.) Years, decades went by and while he was trapped he had survived, many failed attempts under his belt. But he finally managed to escape along with three children he took under his wing and swore to protect. He had a long journey until he reached home and and even longer one when he realized his old home was destroyed. He powers grew with his desperation to protect those who relied on him pushing past his struggles in the past. It was after he reunited with his family that he decided to follow his sister to live into the large city. It was there he met Sandy and somewhat relaxed.

After s5 he gets plant powers powers before was illusions ranging from solid to like a typical illusion, invisibility, and some very short form of teleportation

Blossom (@blossomnightshade)

A long time ago, Siming, the goddess of balance, allowed one drop of moonlight to fall from the celestial sky, and the scarlet moonflower sprouted from this one drop of the red moon. The red and blue petals shimmer in the blood-red moonlight, both as a temptation and a warning to those who aspired to positions of authority that were well beyond their grasp.

Stories of the unusual flower's relationship to the celestial body above and its immense power for those who were willing to eat its petals began to circulate among the creatures. However, they were unaware of the high price they would have to pay for their desired road to invincibility, — as often as you’ll find in tales of this kind, this gift came with a cursed attached…A fate so hideous and jarring only to make sure that the peace and balance remained intact for the universe and their loved ones…

Given its incredible powers and rich history, the sacred blossom has been regarded as the most potent item in numerous realms. Many also knew that the Moon Drop might either lead to the universe's devastation and disaster or it may bring justice and prosperity to the rights of all people, thus whoever decided to become its new consumer would need to exercise caution. As a result, the moon drop was securely concealed and kept out of the hands of evil and darkness.

However, the flower was harvested in the following years, which led to the emergence of numerous demons and other bad entities that were hunting for the flower's next rebirth or, possibly, for the person who had eaten the moon drop's powers.

This story begins with none other than an innocent little child who went by the name, (Kāihuā) Blossom…

In her childhood, she and her father were being chased after many bad entities as the years passed on. Their runaway was much of a hassle and trouble, but it had never broke the love of the two Huli-Jings for each other.

Until one faithful night, Xiangliu had managed to to corner them to an edge of a cliff, just beneath the East Sea. Seeing no other choice, Blossom’s Father quickly threw his daughter into the Eastern sea to spare her as he fought Xiangliu to his last breathe.

Thankfully, Ao Lie and Ao Guang saved the drowning girl and bought her to the grand palace of the East Sea for shelter. I spent over a week with Ao lie in the Great Grand Palace. Of course, Blossom was grateful to have met so many wonderful and compassionate people in the palace after that save attempt. She had a lot of fun with my new friend, and she admired him for being such a kind brother figure. However, even great things must come to an end. As arranged by Ao lie's uncle, Ao Guang, she was transported to the celestial bars of the Celestial Realm above. As the incarnation of the Moon drop, she gotten a lot of attention for their concerns up there.

Due to the worry and fear that she may become a threat as the Moondrop’s incarnation if she were to fully reach her full potential in the future in result of her traumatic and horrible past. The celestial court and the Jade Emperor came to an agreement - Blossom's prior memories include her upbringing, encounters with innumerable evil beings, bitter runaways, and, finally, her family. Blossom's memories were wiped clean, allowing her to create new ones in the Celestial Realm. She is completely unaware of her past issues and tragedy, as well as her loved ones.

Afterwards, Miss Chang'e and Princess Iron Fan, the Celestial Realm's other residents, and the heavenly minister raised the young Huli-Jing as their protector and guide. She does go to Ao Lie, her best buddy, frequently as well. She also has a very close bond to Redson, making them like siblings together. While she’s also been Nezha’s closes friend, since they were young, to the point that she’s also grew feelings for him.

Blossom used to frequently inquire about her past and her acknowledgement of her biological parents, but she quickly stopped talking about it after receiving the same justifications—that she was just like every other Huli-Jing in the realm and that her parents had just passed away before she had met them.

Blossom learned and grew up to be a calm and selfless skilled individual ,thanks to PIF’s determine and precise training. She's also shown to be a pure-hearted and honest individual with the guidance of her motherly loving guardian Chang’e. She may turned out clumsy and oblivious most of the time but she’s always there to lend a hand to everyone. She has undoubtedly mastered a small number of extremely strong skills such as: healing powers, crystal manipulation, shapeshifting between a few forms etc. Though, she is still oblivious to the bigger potential of her incredibly power…for now.

When she met the Monkie Gang, she turns out to be the most comforting sister/daughter-like figure to team. She prefers talking things over with her enemies and as tries to find a way to befriend and understand them better. So don’t let her soft-spoken and small figure fool you because if she witnesses any her loved ones being threatened, she won’t hesitate to reach to the breaking point where she appears to become intimidating and possibly become a living nightmare to you.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 20 Portrayals of Frankenstein's Monster

I talk about Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” a lot on this page. There’s a good reason for that: it’s one of my favorite horror novels, as well as one of the most classically renowned. However, there is one other famous horror classic, arguably even more celebrated, that I don’t discuss as often, with a title and characters just as infamous in the world of Gothic literature as the undead Count. I speak, of course, of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus.”

It’s fairly obvious where I stand on the ��Dracula vs. Frankenstein” competition, so I won’t go into that mess. However, while I do prefer Bram Stoker’s novel between the two, I do still have great respect for Shelley’s work. “Frankenstein” is essentially the first example of sci-fi horror ever created. First of all, while Victor Frankenstein’s exact methods of bringing his creation to life are left somewhat ambiguous in the novel (I believe it was Universal’s 1931 movie that first came up with electricity being the device), it is made clear that science, not magic, is the process used. Second of all, the ethical and moral questions of the novel are the kinds we find more commonly in science fiction than supernatural horror (like “Dracula”). I’ll get into those dilemnas in the future, with another list, however; for now, let’s focus on the most iconic figure from this story: Frankenstein’s Monster, also called “The Creature.”

The Monster is a great character who has been reimagined and referenced almost as much as his rival in Gothic literature, the aforementioned Count. There are essentially three things that make the character so approachable and interesting to reinterpret. First, the visual elements: in the book, Shelley states that even though Frankenstein chooses the most “beautiful” items of assembly for his home-made man, the end result is still somewhat grotesque and ghoulish. This gives artists of all sorts ample room to pick and choose elements of both appealing humanity and monstrous morbidity and find their own ways to balance them out. Second, there’s the moral ambiguity of the Creature: in the book, the monster does do terrible things, but they’re essentially all acts of retaliation. Different versions make the monster more or less culpable for his actions, thus changing his alignment on the good-evil scale according to each interpretation. However, perhaps the most noteworthy point of variation is the Monster’s intelligence. In Shelley’s novel, the Monster does start off as a shambling, childlike brute, but this is only at the start, when he’s freshly made. It soon becomes clear that the Monster is not only intelligent, but capable of being articulate, eloquent, and intellectual; arguably even more academic in personality than his creator. However, things changed when the story was adapted in later interpretations: most blame the Universal films, again, for making the Monster more of a naive innocent or dumb animal, but in truth, this was something that predated those films by at least twenty years. It’s understandable why: while seeing the Creature become more of a man is certainly symbolic and fascinating, it is equally interesting - and arguably even more tragic - when the Monster is essentially a big puppy that doesn’t really understand the danger he can pose to others. With so many ways to interpret the character, in so many varied directions, it was EXTREMELY hard to cherry pick my favorite versions, and even harder to organize them into a solid ranking. However, I think I finally achieved an at least acceptable listing of my favorite renditions of this arguably most empathetic of horror icons. Also, QUICK DISCLAIMER: I decided not to include Rocky from “Rocky Horror (Picture) Show” or Sally from “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” While other Frankenstein-Monster-analogous characters WILL appear here, I felt they were a little too much their own thing for me to include them, if that makes sense. So, without further ado (I’ve rambled quite enough), here are My Top 20 Favorite Portrayals of Frankenstein’s Monster!

20. Chad Michael Collins, from Once Upon a Time.

Yep. “Once Upon a Time” handled Frankenstein. And yes, it was as bizarre as it sounds, and the series kind of makes it clear that’s the point. How DO you take a Gothic story of science-gone-wrong and reinterpret it in a world of fairy-tales and fantasy, where love is the central theme? Well, they found a way, and I’ve always had mixed feelings about the result. Enter Chad Michael Collins as Gerhardt Frankenstein: the elder brother of Victor Frankenstein. Gerhardt is supportive of Victor’s passion and vision as a scientist (at least until the whole “grave robbing thing” pops up), and often defends him from their pompous father. When Gerhardt ends up accidentally getting killed, Victor decides to put his theories to the test not simply to create life, but to try and bring back his brother. However, when Frankenstein brings his Creation to life, what he gets isn’t the brother he once knew: instead, he gives life to a dumb, aggressive, childlike brute, who ends up murdering their father in a misguided attempt to help his brother. Now, all this is a REALLY cool start to a new version of the story…but unfortunately, that’s also sort of where Gerhardt’s story ends. Victor considers destroying his Creature, but finds he just can’t do it. Vowing to one day find a way to “fix” his brother, Victor thus abandons his creation in his castle to go and seek a “cure”...and that’s it. We sadly never saw Gerhardt again. Victor was a recurring character throughout the show’s run, but his brother/monster never really had any closure. As a result, I don’t think I can give Collins’ Creature any higher placement…but this is such a unique interpretation, and I love the show itself so much, I couldn’t neglect it.

19. Dogga (a.k.a. Riki), from Kamen Rider Kiva.

“Kamen Rider Kiva” is the first Kamen Rider show I ever saw, and it remains one of my top three favorites. (Its chief competitors are “Drive” and “Gaim,” so far.) For those who don’t know, “Kamen Rider” is a Japanese franchise that focuses on the exploits of various motorbike-riding superheroes doing…exactly what you would imagine Japanese superheroes riding motorbikes would do. Facing giant monsters, defeating them with terrible CGI effects and a ton of martial arts, that sort of stuff. (For those of you who are KR fans, I am only generalizing this briefly for the sake of expedience; the franchise is awesome, and I love it as much as you do, trust me.) “Kiva” focuses on the titular hero of the hour - whose real name is Wataru - facing characters themed around classic Universal Monsters. These include Dracula, the Wolfman, the Creature From the Black Lagoon…and, of course, Frankenstein’s Monster. The analogous character to the Monster is Dogga (also called “Riki,” in his human form): the last survivor of a race of electricity-manipulating beings called…what else? Frankens. Dogga is a sort of gentle giant; once a savage creature, he was “tamed” by Wataru’s father, Otoya, and now is one of the great monsters living in Castle Doran, helping Wataru on his journey. While a bit cynical and stoic, he nevertheless does his best to make sure Otoya’s son has all the power he needs to defeat the vampiric Fangires threatening humanity. The character’s human form was played by Eiji Takigawa, who also provided the voicework for his true form. (The Monster costume was worn by famous Japanese stunt artist, Eitoku.)

18. Glenn Strange, from Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Boris Karloff was not the only actor to play the Frankenstein Monster for the classic “Universal Monsters” film universe. His followers included Bela Lugosi (who had actually been originally slated to play the character back in 1931), Lon Chaney Jr. (who handled pretty much all of the great monsters at some point or another, with varying degrees of success), and this fellow, the more unknown Glenn Strange. Of the three, I would argue that Strange was the most successful. At the very least, he had the longest lifespan: he first played the Monster in the “monster mash” movie “House of Frankenstein,” then reprised the role (albeit for little more than a cameo appearance) in the sequel, “House of Dracula.” While Strange certainly carried off the costume and makeup well, however, neither movie really gave him a chance to stretch his legs in the part properly. Thankfully, the actor got a better shot in the vaudevillian riff “Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein,” in which the famous comedy duo - playing the role of a pair of bumbling baggage handlers - had to cross swords with multiple monsters at once. In the film, the Monster is once again an innocent, dumb child, tricked into serving Count Dracula. The vampire lord, however, fears the Monster’s power, and decides to transplant the brain of one of the comedy pair with the Creature’s, in the hopes this will make the Monster more obedient. Strange would play the monster a couple more times later on, but his was by far his best outing in the role.

17. The Version from “Disney’s Frankenstein, Starring Donald Duck.”

A.K.A. "Duckenstein." In the past, I’ve mentioned that Disney made their own graphic novel adaptation of “Dracula” - starring Mickey Mouse as Jonathan Harker - which I admired not only for its daring and general oddness, but also because it was clear the people who made the comic also were really big fans of the original novel, sticking true to the source and providing a lot of in-jokes that only readers of the book would really get. Well, at the same time Disney made their Dracula comic, they also made one of “Frankenstein,” featuring characters from the Donald Duck universe. (The Monster in the story, however, appears to be an original character.) As well as making various in-jokes to the novel, the comic also serves as a sort of twisted homage to Disney’s primary medium: animation. Donald Duck as the mad doctor starts off not interested in science, but in art, and and wishes to find a way to bring inanimate art to animated life. This inspires him to create a monster not out of used (body) parts, but out of painted cardboard. The Creature in this comic is a lot of fun, and - because this is a Disney story - the comic actually ends by giving the Monster a happy ending, though one that still has a slightly bittersweet side to it, all without ever ruining the ideas present in Shelley’s novel. While I personally liked Disney’s Dracula more, this was still a fun reimagining, and the nods to animation itself definitely helped give it more credit.

16. Victor Von Gerdenheim, from Darkstalkers.

Yet another Monster-analogous character, and arguably the most tragic of such examples. In the universe of Darkstalkers, Victor is the creation and “son” of Professor Von Gerdenheim. Unlike in the novel or the Universal movie (the latter of which is the main source of Victor’s inspiration), Von Gerdenheim does not betray or abandon his creation purposefully. Instead, due to a small miscalculation, the Professor was tragically killed by the same lightning storm that gave his creation life. Victor - “born” with no real concept of life or death - mistakenly believed his father’s unresponsive state was due to him ignoring him, and vowed to grow stronger and more powerful in the hopes he could get his father to care. In later games, Victor finds out he has a sister: Emily, a sort of “prototype” Von Gerdenheim created. Unlike Victor, she is a beautiful young lady, and the two care for each other very much…so, when Victor’s sister malfunctions and she suddenly shuts down (not exactly “dying” so much as falling into an almost fairy-tale like sleeping state), her brother changes tactics from seeking his deceased father’s approval to trying to save his sister’s life…an attempt that, by all accounts, could be just as fruitless. Truly, a hopeless creature whose story is one of the most disturbing and sorrowful of any Darkstalkers character…and yet he literally uses his fat butt to clench his enemies to death as one of his special moves in combat. No, that is not a joke. This is why video games were made, folks, clearly.

15. Gabriel Dell, from “Famous Monsters Speak!”

Here’s an obscure one that a lot of you probably don’t know about. “Famous Monsters Speak!” was a two-part audio production, ostensibly aimed at children, in which performer Gabriel Dell - a noted impressionist - played both the Frankenstein Monster and Count Dracula. Originally released on record, the first part of the production is Frankenstein themed. The premise is that a team of researchers have discovered a mysterious bunch of recording cylinders, on which it’s revealed the thoughts of the Frankenstein Monster - starting from the moment of his birth - have somehow been put down. We thus hear the voice of the Monster, getting the Creature’s perspective on things as he wanders through the world, seeking vengeance against his creator. In a change of pace, this version of the Monster is actually depicted as an inherently evil being: it’s indicated that, having been made from the bodies of seven dead criminals, their evil nature has infected the Monster from birth. Later in the story, the Monster DOES start to develop more humanity, as he falls in love with a beautiful woman - despite her fear of him - but when he accidentally kills her, and the Doctor refuses to save her life, the Monster returns to his dastardly ways. While this is far, FAR from the pathos-infused, tragic being so many other versions - including the novel - depict, I will give it this: this version still scares the bejeezus out of me. I heard it as a kid, and let me tell you, it’s AMAZING something this genuinely scary was marketed to children. It may not be the most sympathetic or accurate version, but it’s arguably the most frightening I’ve ever encountered. On a side note, Dell’s Dracula half of the production is also pretty good; I very nearly included him in the Honorable Mentions the last time I did a “Re-Count” of the character, but…well, frankly, I had to stop somewhere. :P

14. Sparky, from Frankenweenie.

If there’s one surefire way to make the Frankenstein Monster sympathetic, it’s to make him into an adorable little puppy dog. Tim Burton attempted this very early in his career with the 1984 live-action short subject, “Frankenweenie.” In 2012, following contract negotiations with his old employers at Disney, Burton released a feature-length remake of his old short project, this time produced via stop-motion animation, with a style similar to “Corpse Bride.” In both versions, the “Monster” starts life as a bull terrier named Sparky, owned by a young boy named Victor Frankenstein. When Sparky is tragically killed, Victor decides to bring his pet back to life. What’s great about both versions of this story is that, after being repaired and reanimated…Sparky is still Sparky. He’s still the loving, playful, frankly cute-as-a-button pup that Victor always loved, he just…looks a little different now. More than any other version, this one really isn’t a monster at all, which makes the tragedy and horror caused by the misunderstandings of others all the more sorrowful. Seriously, how could anybody be scared of a sweetheart like this? Proof that the love between a boy and his dog can transcend life itself, Sparky is the most precious Frankenstein Monster you could ever give treats and belly rubs to.

13. Fran, from the Fate Series.

For those unaware, the “Fate” series is a Japanese-created franchise in which various Mages, or “Masters,” summon Heroic Spirits, or “Servants,” in a recurring quest to capture the Holy Grail. These Spirits/Servants take the forms of various famous figures from history, literature, and mythology. (There’s a LOT of convoluted lore beyond that, but that’s the basics of things.) A common running gag (if you want to call it that) throughout the series is the interpretation of traditionally male characters as female ones: sometimes the explanation is that history mucked things up, sometimes it’s because they masqueraded as men in their lifetime, and sometimes it’s something much, MUCH more complicated. Examples of this trend include King Arthur (and Mordred), Leonardo DaVinci, Sir Francis Drake, Emperor Nero…and, of course, the Frankenstein Monster - also referred to as simply “Frankenstein.” She, however, prefers the name “Fran.” This version of the character essentially mingles elements of past versions together: her backstory is fairly close to the Shelley novel, but the way she’s depicted in terms of personality is typically more akin to that of the Universal creature: a childlike innocent with limited speech ability and an almost puppy-like demeanor. (This is specifically in her common Berserker form…it’s complicated. XD ) I really love this version of the character, and the explanation for why Fran is female to begin with actually makes a lot of sense, although it still doesn’t quite explain why the story we know today ended up the way it did. Still, the Fate series is nothing if not thoroughly insane. In Japan, Fran is voiced by Ai Nonaka; in English language releases, she’s voiced by Sarah Anne Williams.

12. Christopher Lee, from The Curse of Frankenstein.

Before he played Dracula (or the Mummy), Christopher Lee’s first great monster role was also his big break in movies. Lee had performed in several things before he was cast as the Creature in Hammer’s loose adaptation of “Frankenstein” - entitled, most likely for the sake of unique variation, “The Curse of Frankenstein” - but it was his performance in this feature that really put him on the map. With a visual design apparently inspired by Cesare from “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” Lee played an even more grotesque and dangerous version of the Monster than perhaps any seen on the screen before. In the film, the Creature isn’t quite the childlike innocent of the Universal films, nor is he a mindless killing machine: it’s indicated that (much like in the Universal film) the brain that was put into this monster was damaged, and as a result, the Creature has come out wrong. The Creature has an extremely violent temper, and seems ready to kill at the slightest provocation, but there’s a touch of pathos as you get the sensation the reason the monster lashes out so violently is because it doesn’t really know how else to process things. Later Hammer films would show Frankenstein creating new Monsters, some more grotesque and nasty, others more sympathetic and even pleasing to the eye…but, since this was the first film of the Hammer Frankenstein series, and the only one more or less based on the novel proper, I felt Lee’s was the version of the Monster most worth crediting. He set the trend for a whole new wave of man-made men, and it was the success of this movie, and it’s Monster, that first put both Lee and Hammer in the annals of horror fame.

11. Shuler Hensley, from Van Helsing.

Stephen Sommers’ 2004 schlockbuster, “Van Helsing,” was a tribute to classic “Monster Mash” movies of the past, like the aforementioned “House of Frankenstein.” It starred Hugh Jackman as the titular monster hunter, and was intended to start a whole new reboot for the Universal Monster lineup. Ultimately, however, it ended up failing both critically and at the box office. (2017’s Mummy looks on in sympathy.) While the movie is admittedly very, VERY flawed (and absurdly over-the-top), I actually enjoyed it a lot growing up, and I still have a soft spot for it. It’s a guilty pleasure, if nothing else. One of my favorite aspects of the film is Shuler Hensley as the Frankenstein Monster. (Incidentally, Hensley had performed onstage with Hugh Jackman in the past, most notably as the sinister Jud Fry in “Oklahoma.”) While the design of the Creature - referred to as both “the Frankenstein Monster” and simply “Frankenstein” throughout the picture - owes much to the classic Universal movies, the actual portrayal is slightly closer to the original novel, as the Monster is a well-read, eloquent creature, despite his immense strength and bad temper. In the film, Dracula actually funds Dr. Frankenstein’s experiments, leading to the creation of his “son;” it’s revealed that the Count plans to use the Monster as a sort of “battery,” allowing him to give life to his undead vampire children. With them and the Monster, Dracula can then - of course - take over the world. It’s thus up to Van Helsing and his allies to try and keep the Monster out of Dracula’s grasp. Most people probably wouldn’t rate this version so highly, but again, I just have a soft spot for this film, as well as this Creature design.

10. Bo Svenson, from Dan Curtis’ Frankenstein.

Dan Curtis was the creative mastermind behind the famous soap opera, “Dark Shadows”...which I’ve never really seen. (I did see the Tim Burton film based on it, for the record, but a.) I don’t think it’s very good, and b.) to my understanding, it follows the show about as well as Universal’s Frankenstein follows the book.) Needless to say, the man was a major fan of Gothic literature and old-school horror stories, and during his time he put his spin on several of them. One of them was an early 1970s TV miniseries adaptation of “Frankenstein”: at the time, it was - I think - the most accurate interpretation of the story put to screen. (Later versions followed the story even more closely.) Svenson’s Creature, appropriately, is a bit closer to the book; not a dumb animal, but instead a tortured soul who is capable of understanding the world and intellectualizing all he takes in, but cannot symbiotically exist with other human beings. The ending is where things really take a different turn from the novel, but I won’t spoil it here. This version can be hard to track down nowadays in good copy, at least from what I’ve found, but if you’re able to do so, definitely give it a watch.

9. Tom Noonan, from Monster Squad.

A common trope I’ve seen with the Frankenstein Monster is what might be termed “the friendly monster.” Basically, the Monster starts off as an antagonistic presence, but then befriends the main heroes of the day and becomes a hero by the end of the story, usually with much adorableness and silliness abounding over the course of this development. While I can’t be sure of where this idea really started, I think my favorite example of this, and one of the first I’m aware of, was in the 1987 film “Monster Squad.” This was yet another Monster Mash movie, accurately described as a combination of “The Goonies” and “Ghostbusters,” focusing on a bunch of child heroes having to save their town from Dracula and his monster minions. Once again, the Frankenstein Monster is depicted early on as a pawn of Dracula’s, and seems to be the fellow Monster the Count is most close to…which makes things all the more interesting when, instead of killing the heroes for the vampire king, he ends up befriending them, and eventually helps them defeat the Count at the climax of the picture. Tom Noonan had played the much-less-savory role of Francis Dolarhyde in the horror/crime film “Manhunter” the year before; he was offered the role of the Monster as a result of his performance. I find this sort of ironic, since the two characters really couldn’t be any more different. Noonan evidently had a couple of projects to choose from, and went with Monster Squad because he wanted to play something lighter and more sympathetic, to contrast the darkness of Dolarhyde. He delivers excellently: of all the Karloffian Monsters on this countdown, few have quite as successfully followed in the original’s footsteps with the same level of sweetness and sensitivity. Plus, seeing the Monster boom “Bogus!” right into Dracula’s face before IMPALING him, is…something I’m SO glad exists in the same universe I live in.

8. Benedict Cumberbatch & Jonny Lee Miller, from the National Theatre Production.

Ever wanted to see two Sherlocks for the price of one? In something that is not even Sherlock-related? Well, first of all, you’re a very weird person. (So am I, this is a good thing.) Second of all, then perhaps you’ll enjoy the 2011 production of Frankenstein, adapted by Nick Dear and directed by Danny Boyle. Produced at England’s National Theatre, two performances of this show were filmed…which is good, because the big gimmick of the play was the double-casting of its two lead actors. Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller both played the Monster and Dr. Frankenstein…but not at the same time. The actors would alternate performances, with Cumberbatch playing the Creature and Miller playing Frankenstein one night, then the two swapping roles the next, and so on and so forth. The story in this version is told mostly from the Monster’s point of view, as the play starts right off the bat with the birth of the Creature, and - like in the book - leaves it ambiguous how it was brought to life. There’s a lot of things to admire in this play, frankly, but I think it’s the gimmick of the two actors, and who those actors are, that gives it the most draw to see it. Both Cumberbatch and Miller handle their twin roles slightly differently, but there’s still some obvious similarities, for obvious reasons. If I had to choose which of them I like most as the Creature, I’d probably say I like Cumberbatch in the role more. His voice is a bit clearer, and he puts a LOT more movement into his body motions and actions, compared to Miller’s work. Both, however, do an amazing job in each role. Definitely look this production up and watch both versions, if you can.

7. Robert DeNiro, from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994).

Released in answer to Francis Ford Coppola’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” two years before, this film tried to achieve the same success using similar methods; following the book more closely than any film before that, while also still making some significant changes, and also going much more wild with the gore and sensuality than any version prior. While the resulting film wasn’t bad, most people agree that it isn’t and wasn’t QUITE as successful as the Coppola feature…but this doesn’t mean it’s without merits. DeNiro’s Monster is definitely one of those merits: DeNiro is really very surprising in the role. I would never have pegged him to be a perfect piece of casting for ANY version of the Monster, but he really does pull it off, and at times it’s hard to remember who it is behind the scarfaced makeup. The way he handles his body, his voice, his expressions, and everything else for the role really is magnificent. I honestly feel bad for not placing him higher in the ranks. While not a great success in its time, the film does seem to have grown a cult following over the years, and I think it’s mostly well-deserved: this is probably one of my favorite DeNiro performances, alongside “The Godfather Part II” and “Taxi Driver.” If nothing else, his work here has earned more praise and attention than it likely gets.

6. Ian Holm, from “Mystery & Imagination: Frankenstein.”

Earlier, we spoke of a production where the actors for Victor Frankenstein and his Monster were played by the same two alternating actors. All very well and good…but what about a production where both are played by the same single actor? This was the case with “Mystery & Imagination,” a 1960s UK television program that adapted many famous, dark stories. I sadly have not been able to find and view most of these, but my favorite of those I HAVE seen was their adaptation of Frankenstein, mostly because of the gimmick of having both the Monster and the scientist played by the same performer. Editing and camera trickery allowed the production to work beautifully, in an age and on a budget where most common special effects that would allow such a thing easily now were not readily available. While Ian Holm is largely best known today for his work as Bilbo Baggins in the Peter Jackson “Lord of the Rings” films, he was a performer with a long and varied career. Even knowing this, I never expected to see him play the Frankenstein Monster, and he does a brilliant job, bringing a sort of nervous softness and steely fury to the role in equal measure. I actually am highly tempted to place him higher, but there’s only room for so many in the top five.

5. Peter Boyle, from Young Frankenstein.

Alongside the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond,” I’m fairly certain this movie was my introduction to Peter Boyle. And for as great an actor as Boyle might have been, I sometimes feel like his actual performance as the Monster in this satirical classic often gets overlooked. I tend to find more people talk about Gene Wilder’s work in the title role. And while, yes, Wilder’s Frankenstein - actually a descendant of the original, but I’m still counting things here - is truly fantastic, Boyle’s work as the Karloff-inspired Creature is just as great. What I love about Boyle’s work is, in fact, what I love about Karloff’s most of the time, but now with a totally different sense of mood and style: both are able to do so much with so little, as their eyes, facial expressions, and body movements are largely where the delivery of their performance shines through. But while Karloff plays things for sincerity and danger in the original…Boyle’s Monster is just flipping HILARIOUS. Honestly, that sums up what makes “Young Frankenstein” so great, in general: it keeps the general themes and ideas of both the novel and especially the Universal pictures, but twists them from tragedy and horror to farce and wit. Great movie, great monster, an all around great choice for my top five.

4. Herman Munster, from The Munsters.

“The Munsters” was a 1960s sitcom, supposedly inspired by the success of “The Addams Family,” which focused on the darkly humorous shenanigans in a household made up of characters inspired by the Universal Monsters. The main protagonist of the series was the family patriarch: the Frankenstein Monster himself, Herman Munster, played by Fred Gwynne. In the early days of the show, Herman was a fairly normal “sitcom father” type, but as the show went on, Gwynne and the creators developed the character more. Herman became a loving father, a doting husband, a hard worker who always tried to do his best…and also a complete, bumbling clod. Essentially, the idea of the overgrown child inherent in the Universal films was given a voice and a more contemporary spin, as Herman was often more kid-like than his own son in his attitudes and antics. Herman always meant well, but his dimwitted nature and overblown clumsiness constantly got not only himself, but most of the family, into trouble. Still, he’d always try hard to pull things back from the brink of disaster, and owned up to his mistakes and tried to learn from them in the end. Frankly, he was arguably the most loveable character in the series. (Interestingly, Gwynne also got to play a more “traditional” version of the character in the episode “A Visit From Johann,” where it’s revealed Herman’s creator made a twin brother for him, who lacked even Herman’s meager levels of intelligence.) Unlike the Addams Family - who have successfully been reimagined more than once - it seems like every attempt to bring the Munsters back to life has been a dismal failure. I think this is largely because of the fact so much of what made this particular series work came from the actors: Fred Gwynne’s Herman has been imitated multiple times, but there was a lightning-in-a-bottle quality to his work and to the series that has never been duplicated. The role dogged Gwynne to the end of his days: perhaps most notably, in a production of the play “Arsenic and Old Lace,” where he played the role Boris Karloff had originated. This was by no means a coincidence, especially not when one of the most famous lines in the show has the character claiming, “They said I looked like Boris Karloff!”

3. Luke Goss, from Frankenstein (2004 Miniseries).

This is quite possibly the single most Shelley-accurate adaptation of the story put to the screen so far. At a hardy length of three hours, split into a two-part television miniseries, it was able to not only take everything from the original novel, but also expand on a couple of things in interesting ways. Appropriately, Luke Goss is probably among the most screen-accurate interpretations of the Creature we’ve ever gotten. This version was made for the Hallmark Channel. Interestingly, throughout the late nineties and early 2000s, in particular, Hallmark made a bunch of film and miniseries adaptations of popular works of fiction; virtually all of them became noteworthy largely because of their faithfulness to the source material. However, most people agree that a lot of these interpretations were a bit stiff. While this miniseries has gotten some similar criticism, I actually think it does an extremely worthy job with the work; most of the weaknesses it has I would offer are really due to the weaknesses of the material. Goss as the creature turns in a delightfully sensitive, tender performance, while still able to deliver on the darker, more dangerous parts of the story, where the Monster’s bitter and cruel side has to come out. This version of the story and the character often gets overlooked in favor of more popular renditions, but it’s one I highly recommend checking out.

2. Rory Kinnear, from Penny Dreadful.

Of all the more or less Shelley-faithful versions of the character on this countdown, Rory Kinnear’s is by far my favorite. “Penny Dreadful” was a series that combined elements and characters from various pieces of Gothic literature, with multiple sub-plots sort of crashing together throughout the course of the show. Kinnear’s Creature was usually a fairly peripheral figure, his story largely separate from the main plot of the program; however, this meant that the moments where his story and those of the other main characters DID collide became more special by default, and his own side story was arguably the most emotionally intense part of the entire show to begin with. The Creature goes by two “proper” names during the show: in season one, he was referred to as “Caliban,” taking his name from the Shakespearean character. Later seasons had him take on the name “John Clare,” after the famous poet. (I personally preferred Caliban, for various reasons.) Kinnear’s portrayal of the Creature is hauntingly touching and tragic, as he constantly seeks some form of family and acceptance, and it always gets robbed from him, slipping through his fingers. The Frankenstein characters were my favorites from the series, and Caliban/Clare’s tragic tale gave much of the heart to this dark and fright-filled melodrama. Keeping true to the source of the character, only really changing the story he was in, Kinnear’s Creature was ironically perhaps closer to the novel than almost any other.

1. Boris Karloff, from the Universal Monsters Franchise.

From two of the most accurate-to-the-book versions of the Creature, to the one who made inaccuracy to the source VERY popular. I know a lot of fans of the original book are going to be swarming me like an angry mob for this choice, but I’m sorry: as much as I love the work in the original novel, Boris Karloff’s star-making portrayal of the Monster is still beloved and popular for a darn good reason. If the Universal film did one thing right, it was take the tragic and sympathetic qualities of the Creature in the book, and bring them to their absolute xenith: Karloff’s Monster is not even remotely villainous, when you really look at things. While he does do some terrible things, it’s always either in justified retaliation, or because he’s being manipulated by a more terrible power, or even because he genuinely doesn’t realize what he’s doing is wrong. In the first film, the Creature is done with almost pure pantomime, and Karloff brings so much gentle life to this shambling, undead puppet, who just wants to be loved and understand the world around him, only to find misfortune at every turn. In “Bride of Frankenstein,” the Monster starts to go through more of the beats of the original book - learning to speak (albeit nowhere near as eloquently as in the novel), seeking a mate, and so on - but remains just as sorrowful a figure. While the third film, “Son of Frankenstein” - Karloff’s final turn as the Monster - sidelined the character in favor of focusing on the conflict between the title character and the malevolent Ygor, Karloff still gets several great moments of pathos, despite regressing once more to a mute beast. While the Creature has become an icon of horror, he is perhaps the most unlikely of such candidates, as you really do feel sorry for him more than you feel scared of him: he really is like an enormous pet animal, you just want to take care of him and help him, and you wish others would see he really isn’t so bad and would do the same. While only barely resembling the figure conjured up in the book, Karloff’s original monster remains iconic not only because of the eye-catching makeup and costume, nor even simply because the films are so long-lasting, but because his performance and the direction of the story made us truly feel for the monster, both literally and figuratively. He has more than earned my personal seal of approval and my number one pick. Case dismissed.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Grant Moninger, from TMNT (2012).

This one very nearly made the cut. This version of the Monster appears in a four-part story arc where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles face the Universal Monsters. Moninger voices not only the Monster, but also Dr. Frankenstein. (He also provides the voice of the Mummy, but that’s another story.) Very fun stuff, but I just don’t have a lot to say about this one.

David Warner, from Frankenstein (1984).

This rather obscure TV movie outing has a great cast (alongside Warner as the monster, you also have such names as Carrie Fisher, Sir John Gielgud, and Robert Powell), but is sadly brought down by it’s shoestring budget and heavy truncation of the story. Warner’s performance is great, but the script and his, in my opinion, visually lacking makeup job keep him from making the cut.

Charles Stanton Ogle, from Frankenstein (1910).

The first screen version of Frankenstein ever known. A very interesting piece of history, and the look of the creature is kind of cool, but I feel the story misses the point of the story in some ways (the creature is depicted as more of a supernatural construct than a scientific one), and the film is only about 15 minutes long.

Kamran Nikhad (as Adam the Firstborn), from V Rising.

A somewhat more evil pastiche of the Monster, Adam is one of the toughest and most iconic bosses in this game, alongside Dracula himself. Interestingly, Nikhad voices both Adam AND the Count in this version. Lucky guy.

[ghostofskywalker]

Poe Dameron vs. The Claw Machine

Poe Dameron/Reader

Fictober Day 23 of 31

Words: 824

Summary: [Modern AU] After splitting away from your boyfriend at an arcade, you're shocked that you can't seem to find him. Or, at least you were until you actually saw what he had been doing.

Poe Dameron Masterlist

Your boyfriend was missing.

Well, he wasn’t missing in the sense that you would need to file a police report, but you had spent the last ten minutes searching for him and hadn’t yet been lucky enough to find where he’d been hiding.

The game room was loud, dark, and crowded, which was probably why you were having a hard time in the first place; it would be difficult to find anyone in here if you didn’t know exactly where they were or what game they were playing. And unfortunately, right now you knew neither of those pieces of information about Poe.

The two of you had first split up in the arcade when you challenged him to competition on who could win the most tickets, and you absolutely still wanted to keep that bet going, but it had been a little while and you also wanted to order some food. The whole point of this outing in the first place had been a date, so spending time with your absolutely wonderful boyfriend was another line on the list of things you wanted to do here.

He didn’t answer your text, so you set out searching for him among the crowds of people. You passed dancing games, dexterity games, shooting games, and even ski ball, all with no sign of the telltale curls you were looking for. You knew there was no way he would have left without you, but it was certainly confusing that you hadn’t found him yet.

It was a last ditch attempt to walk towards where the prize case was, and it just so happened that in order to get there, you had to walk by a row of claw machines.

And of course, that’s where you found your boyfriend, in a little bit of a compromising position (or at least, that’s the phrase you first thought of to explain the visual of him laying on the ground with his arm up the slot of the machine).

The two of you locked eyes, and you couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Am I interrupting something?”

Poe however, did not seem to find the situation as funny. “I’m not stuck, if that’s what you’re asking.” As if to prove his point, he pulled his arm back out and stood up.

“I wasn’t, but it’s nice to know you’re okay,” you said, a giant smile crossing your face. “I’m really just wondering what happened that led to you putting your arm up the slot of that machine, and I’m also trying to figure out how lucky you are that none of the staff here caught you.”

Instead of answering right away, your boyfriend turned and pointed at one of the stuffed toys through the window. “That’s why,” he said, and you immediately understood why he did what he did.

Sitting atop a small pile of plush creatures, was the prettiest stuffed animal you had ever seen. Not only was it of your favorite animal, but it looked like it was made of the softest material in the entire world. “You were trying to win that?”

“For you,” he said. “I blew all my tokens on trying to grab it and then had to resort to different tactics when i ran out of arcade money.”

He was absolutely right in the fact that was absolutely something you would want to bring home, but you had no intentions of sticking your arm up the slot like Poe did to get it. “Why don’t I give it a try?” you said, pulling out two of your remaining tokens and dropping them into the machine.

Once the lights began to flash, you moved the joystick to hover directly over the stuffed animal you wanted before pushing the button. The arms went down, and curled directly over the head of the creature.

You and Poe both waited with bated breath as the claw managed to grasp the animal and bring it towards the chute. But luck was on your side today, and you were soon hugging it while Poe looked on in shock.

“I can’t believe- I tried so many- what?” he said, clearly having trouble believing what was going on.

“Aww babe,” you said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “I really appreciate that you tried to steal it for me, but sometimes it’s just best left to the experts.”

He rolled his eyes playfully as he turned to you. “And you’re an expert?”

You just smiled as you pulled some of the tickets you had won out of your pockets. “You were saying?” you said, feigning innocence. “Unless you have more tickets than I do.”

Silence.

You just laughed, and soon the joy on your face had spread to his. “Come on hotshot,” you said, reaching out to take his hand. “Why don’t we get something to eat, and then I can teach you how to do the claw machine correctly.”

“Shut up.” 

- the end -

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