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tragedybunny · 1 year ago

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I Should Tell You - Chapter 1

༺Summary༻

In a fit of guilt, Astarion tries to confess his deception to you. At the last moment, he loses his nerve and ends your relationship with another lie. He's resigned himself to having lost his chance with you forever when once again everything changes. With the two of you out on your own, will he be able to take a chance and tell you everything, and will you forgive him when he does?

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Female Reader

༺Warnings༻ Sexual references

༺Word Count༻ 1888

༺A/N༻ Hi hi - I've recently had some edits done to this chapter by the lovely @icybluepenguin - I hope to pick this story back up soon and I'm working to fix it up.

Astarion was, well, he was loath to admit it, but he was brooding.

He’d taken up a private room at the Elfsong now that everything was over, one where he could keep protected from the sun while the rest of his companions, yourself included, lived their lives in the light of day. Slowly, condemned back to the shadows, locked in his room with drapes drawn tight against the burning sunlight, he’d drifted further and further away from the group. It had culminated tonight, where he had one perfunctory drink at the farewell party and slipped away to hide amongst his books and the shadows of his mind.

For the last several weeks, everyone had put their all into assisting Baldur’s Gate in starting to begin rebuilding. Those who were left, anyway – Wyll and Karlach were in Avernus, and Lae’zel was off to wage war on Vlaakith. Now those who were left would be parting ways as well, Shadowheart to see the world, Gale back to Waterdeep, Jaheira and Minsc to rebuild the Baldur’s Gate Harpers, and you and Halsin… hells, he didn’t want to know.

If he were being honest with himself, which felt like a thing to be avoided these days, there was more to his self-imposed exile than returning to a nocturnal life. Seeing the two of you together was a dagger was being shoved between his ribs and playing around with his insides.

And the worst part of it was, it was all his fault. He couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at you or the infuriatingly perfect druid. Well, he shouldn’t, anyway. Astarion still found himself wanting to shred Halsin’s throat with his teeth every time he pulled you close and kissed you, like you were a goddess he was paying worship to, a goddess Astarion would have loved nothing more than to prostrate before, himself. He’d done it to himself though, weaving a web of lies and manipulations so dense he’d trapped himself while you slipped on through, seemingly unscathed. You’d seen him as a person, and he’d repaid that by seeing you as a pawn,. At least at first.

When you’d stood firm against that drow, for him that web had only become more entangled By the time you shouted at that vile creature on his behalf, he’d become so hopelessly lost in the strands of feeling that had grown and wrapped around his heart that he knew he had to give up the plan, and give you the truth, even if you hated him for it.

As soon as your group had made camp that night, not far enough from the shadows of Moonrise Towers for anyone's comfort, he'd made his way over to you. “I want to thank you,” he’d started, sure of his course. “For what you said whilst in front of that vile drow…

“...You made me realize I never stopped thinking like his slave.” He drew in a breath, despite the fact that he didn’t need it, and froze. Patiently, you stared up at him with that affectionate look you always had, giving him space to collect his thoughts. You, the fount of warmth and sweetness he didn’t deserve, the love he couldn’t hope to keep. Frantically, he willed himself to speak, to tell you what you needed to know, no matter the consequences be damned.

“And I realize I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship.” The words spilled out before he could think them through and he watched as your eyes widened in hurt.

Gods no, what the fuck are you doing!, he cursed himself, but still the words came.

“Being with someone still feels tainted. I need to figure out who I am, what I want.” He bit down on his traitorous tongue to stop the tide, but the damage was done.

Those loving eyes of yours sparkled with tears, but that composure he’d begrudgingly come to admire held firm. “Is this really what you want, Astarion?”

No, no, no. I want you, I want it to be real. If he gave you the truth and you sent him away, however, he wouldn’t be able to bear it. At least this way, he could salvage your friendship, still bask in your light from time to time. The excuse was flimsy, even to himself, but he’d been a liar from the start.

“I think it's for the best, I'm sorry.” Twice, he’d lied to you – twice. There would never be any coming back from this. “Please don't be mad at me.”

You stepped forward and he instinctively wanted to cower away. But you weren’t intent on harming him, instead wrapping your arms around him in a gentle embrace. “I think I understand. I’m not mad if this is what you need.”

Your arms felt as though they were crushing him, their touch burning his skin. The urge to pull away and flee was almost overwhelming. But you deserved this one last bit of comfort. “Thank you,” he murmured, resting his head on your shoulder, breathing you in for what possibly was the last time, and resigning himself to a life without this. Without you.

After you finally pulled away, you went to his tent and packed your things, leaving to set up on your own and let him endure the night without you at his side. There was a time when he’d never believe his own space could feel so empty. Back in the spawn dormitory, he would have given anything for this solitude; Now it was wretched. And so his first night alone was passed in miserable resolution, and when the day dawned, he went on as though all was right.

It wasn’t lost on him that you would eventually find other companionship. You were attractive, witty, brave, and immensely caring. And from what he’d seen, you certainly weren’t interested in a celibate lifestyle. Still, that didn't prepare him for the night the group camped outside Rivington.

Astarion had just returned from a hunt, the blood of a rabbit fresh on his tongue. It wasn’t your delectable essence but he hadn’t dared ask to touch your neck after everything, electing to spend his trances dreaming of those moments between you instead. It was better than the nightmares of Cazador and his tortures at least. As he’d crept into the circle of ruined buildings that camp had been set up in, he stopped short, the world feeling as though it was closing in around him.

You were talking to Halsin, who held one of your hands in his, and somehow, even with his ridiculously large hands, delicately brushed a strand of hair behind your ear with the other. Time slowed and Astarion felt as though the blood in his stomach might make its way back out of his mouth.

In the dim firelight, the stars gleaming without a cloud to obscure them, Halsin kissed you. Softly, slowly at first, and then his hands wandered to your hips to pull you in as he deepened it. Your hands came to rest on those broad shoulders and instead of pulling away as Astarion desperately hoped you would, you leaned into it, eager and wanting. He wasn’t close enough, but Astarion could swear he heard the little moan you would make. The same sound you used to make only for him.

Halsin stared down at you after breaking the kiss, no doubt with naked lust written on his face, and offered you his hand again. And that was that. The two of you began to quietly walk away from camp while Astarion fled to his tent, crawling into his bedroll and desperately choking down the sobs that threatened to overwhelm him.

It had been bound to happen, but how soon, was what burned from the inside out. Just like that, you’d forgotten all about him, as though he hadn’t mattered in the first place. How dare you. He tried to summon anger with you, to wash away the pain. With you, with Halsin, with every circumstance that led him here. It was a betrayal; he had every right to be angry. You waited for no time at all, you moved on so easily, you… you just forgot he loved you.

Not that he’d ever said it, but you must have known. The bedroll was even colder than usual as Astarion clung to the one object he found comfort in; kept secreted away amongst his belongings was a shirt of yours he managed to pilfer before his botched confession. By day, it was tucked in his pack, and at night it filled his bedroll beside him. Pulling it into his arms, he inhaled what was left of your scent on it, not that there was much left, and buried his face in the pillow to weep bitter tears.

He emerged the next morning into daylight that no longer held the promise it had so recently. Almost immediately you ran to him, taking your arm in his, giving him a moment of foolish hope. If things had gone badly between you and Halsin, he would rectify his mistake and tell you everything, he swore.

All it took was one look in your eyes to know that hope was in vain. “Astarion, I need to tell you something, and I wanted you to hear it from me first.” You led him away from the rest of the group, almost to the spot where he’d seen you with Halsin. The others pretended not to notice the obvious personal moment occurring a stone's throw away from them.

It was a good thing he'd cried every tear he had last night. “Well go on, darling, don’t keep me in suspense.” He plastered on a grin.

“The thing is,” you looked everywhere but at him, “Halsin and I, well, things happened between us last night, and I think I'd like to pursue whatever this is. It just felt right to tell you first.”

Astarion laughed, a hollow sound to his own ears, but convincing enough for you, it seemed. “My dear, you were worrying yourself about this? Don't vex your pretty little head like that, I don't begrudge your need for intimacy. Even if I fail to understand the appeal of a man who's always going on about enjoying the freedom of nature's gifts.”

“Astarion,” you scolded, but a subtle smile told him you were relieved. “Behave yourself.”

“Let me have a little fun at your expense.” He disentangled his arm from yours, its warmth suddenly smothering. Taking your hand, he kissed it gently. “I'm glad. You deserve to be happy.” That part he did mean, even as he reviled how it was happening. “And I'm sure you and Halsin will be. Don't worry about me.”

Please worry about me. Can't you see how I'm bleeding?

Leaning up, you kissed his cheek, with all the gentleness in the world. “Thank you, Astarion, I'm glad you understand., I'd never want to hurt you.”

From that moment on, you were Halsin's, and Astarion had to grin and pretend to be happy for you. That's what friends were for after all, and you insisted you two were friends. Halsin and you seemed so disgustingly infatuated with each other, he wanted to scream. So naturally he'd assumed you'd be happily headed out on some grand, romantic journey together now that everything had been resolved.

Which was why it startled him to nearly a second death when you burst into his claimed sanctuary, clearly distraught and slamming the door behind you. “I'm sorry… I can't be in there,” you gasped out between sobs.

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#bg3 #astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x reader #x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 fanfic #my fanfic #my writing #i should tell you

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happysparklingshadows · 1 year ago

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𝙱𝙶𝟹 𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜 ✿ 𝙿𝚕𝚞𝚜-𝚂𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝙼𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚢! 𝚃𝚊𝚟

Note: some spoilers for Act 2 and Act 3 of the game. Some mentions of smut but mostly fluff.

Lae’zel

-When Lae’zel first met you, she didn’t notice your body too much outside of usefulness. At first, she had her sword your throat, and then when you fought together, she noticed your swiftness and cunning. Once she could be around you more, she started to notice. Women where she is from don't come so curvy or lush by any means. She is fascinated by the way your body curves and jiggles. The big breasts and hips were very new to her, and at first, she rejected the fact she liked such an alien look on a person. I mean, it’s ridiculous? But like most people who reject what they want the most, she couldn’t help but obsess with your body. She wanted to conquer this obsession before it distracted her.

-Lae’zel isn’t one to be gently parented; she is firm and doesn’t listen to things that don’t make her stand at attention. Mommy Tav, I feel they need to be stern in some ways with her. A firm “No, Lae’zel.” is like a commander's word to her if it comes from you, but you must have earned that right to speak to her like that.

-She isn’t one for open affection or love. It was ingrained in her that it is weak and needless for a warrior. She at first finds that helping people without benefit to yourself is aimless and indulgence of your time. It annoyed her and made her eyes roll often behind your back when you talked to these random helpless creatures running around. But slowly, over time, especially after she turns her back on Vlaakith, she noticed the strength underneath all your fussing and helpfulness. You wanted to help people because you could. You did it just because you could, and you wanted to, and you would kill anyone who got in your way. The way you smiled with bright eyes at a child were the same eyes that happily killed goblins that caused their pain, and you would be damned if you wouldn’t make them happy and safe. Lae’zel grows to understand this mothering energy from you. She thought the way people of this plane were disgusting for how they reproduced and thought it odd how needy people were for their parents, but she learns why it was so hard to leave such a warm embrace.

-Lae’zel doesn’t mean to be mean, and she doesn’t understand sometimes when her words cut more than usual. She was raised to cut others with words like blades, so when your eyes flash with surprise and hurt when she says something, it makes her feel horrible. She would never admit guilt, but she does try her best. She is annoyed by herself for hurting you and even more annoyed that she cares about you.

-The annoyance doesn’t last long, though. It almost melted as your hands touched Lae’zel’s shoulder softly when she did well in battle, or the way you smiled at her when she talked about her studies in crèche K'liir, or the way you always seemed to have food for her to eat on the road. She wasn’t dense enough not to notice how you care about her, even when she is being mean and doesn’t know how to feel about it. It confused her, and it made her feel nervous.

-Lae’zel is swift with claiming you. She knew she wanted to taste you and be your lay, but she couldn’t handle the possessiveness that overcame her at the thought someone else could have you. Your sweet hands touch someone else, soothing them as they do her? How soft you were was for her alone. She isn’t very soft in many ways but feels soft with you.

-Lae’zel is beyond protective over you. Her hand is on her sword if someone speaks to you in a tone she doesn’t like. She would have their eyes dug out with her thumbs if she thought you would look at her with those warm eyes and be pleased with her.

-Lae’zel realizes being with you that she has had a hunger her whole life. A hunger for acceptance and unconditional love, she chased it from Valakath since the time she hatched. She found it with you. With her head in the crook of your neck and soft body pressed against her lean body, she feels a warmth that has thawed more parts of herself than any accomplishment for Valakath could.

-She doesn’t like most of the food she is given. No fault of your own, but it isn’t what she is used to expecting. But she loves apple pies and spiced meats, and her eyes sparkle when she sees you near the hearth cooking. Her ears quirked up as she heard the hissing meat in the pan. She intensely stares you down before hovering over your cooking. She is like a cat who likes to be in your way. She just wants to observe and be a part of it, even if she isn’t doing anything but watching you.

-She gives a sharp “chk” when you kiss her bandaged wound you dressed, and she moves away from you when you do that. She doesn’t like how it makes her feel so weak at how good it feels. You just chuckle, knowing at this point of your relationship that she isn’t rejecting you, and say, “Well, when it heals faster, you will not be so against it, my champion.”. And after that point, she would expect you to bandage her wounds and kiss them each time.

-Lae’zel needs guidance and patience, as well as a teacher. She needs someone to educate her on this plane and how to act in certain situations on this plane that doesn’t end with bloodshed. But she needs someone who doesn’t hate her for being reckless and violent that she is.

-Lae’zel takes some time to learn how to love and be loved, but for a soft mothering person, that isn’t very hard to be patient with her. She learns from example the easiest, and that love is as warm and fulfilling as killing, if not more so.

-Lae’zel was beyond happy when Xan was hatched, and she couldn’t think of someone better than the source of her joy to co-parent with her. Lae’zel gives off avoidant Midwest dad vibes that are really focused on teaching Xan to fight and giving him the discipline to achieve anything he longs for. It eases her that Xan doesn’t have to be beaten into a ridged warrior like she did because he is loved like the children of Faerün. With kisses and hugs, soothing words for laughing, and tickles for cheekiness. In a different life, she would have scoffed and killed you for treating a gith with such tenderness to ruin his resolve at such a young age, but now with you at an inn together. She can only bring herself to chuckle at the scene of Xan wiggling in giggles on your lap, happily content with her family.

-Lae’zel would one day be laughing with the two of you, Xan giggling in your lap, and realize she was where she was always meant to be with you, and Xan giggling over the most minor thing that wasn’t even funny. It wasn’t becoming the strongest warrior to make her happy, but having a family she could protect was all she needed.

Karlach

-When Karlach first met you, she saw you. If you aren’t used to someone openly hitting on you, now you do. There is a whistle when you bend down or jump; her tone always becomes soft, and the words “baby” become your new name, and she openly stares at your breasts when you speak (no cleavage needed). Karlach doesn’t care because she can handle a whole lot of woman happily. Just wait until she can get her hands on you.

-Karlach is a partner who needs to be gently parented, but she is so sweet that it is used sparingly. Karlach sometimes needs a sharp look to stop talking in front of some people or someone to talk her out of violence gently. Karlach is a sweetheart, but she has a temper that sometimes needs to be chilled, and your soft hands rubbing on their biceps are just that.

-Karlach starts daggers into the knocked-out Drow as you softly rub her biceps, “Baby, calm down. You’re going to burn the whole place down. Baby, breathe slowly, deeply.” And she looks down at you, her eyes melt as soon as she sees your worried face and closes them. She takes deep breaths to calm her temper down; she needs to chill out, or she will burn down this whole place.

-When Karlach can touch you, she loves to rest her head on your stomach. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath of you in. Her hands constantly touch you, finding safety on your waist or shoulder. Her lips kiss the back of your neck when you read, her heat being felt close behind you.

-Karlach NEEDS some soft tender care and knows it. She unironically purrs when you put your hand on her cheek; she leans in your hand always. Karlach is very much someone who loves when you baby her and is always so grateful about it.

-Karlach is a munch in so many ways, she will eat whatever you place infront of her, and it is the most delicious meal she has ever tasted. Karlach always hovers over you when you cook, always ready to be a helper in the kitchen out of curiosity and love. Karlach relates food with love because of her mother, and I feel like in Act 3, after stopping by the graveyard, you are on a mission to find Karlach Sr. Cookbook.

-Karlach would cry happy tears when you found a stew her mom wrote, and she sobbed when she ate her mom's cooking in a good way. She missed her mom a lot, and not having the heart her mother gave her made her feel this emptiness. And she is forever grateful to have known you, loved you. She would softly pull you into her lap and hold you close, crying and eating.

-Karlach REFUSES for you to leave camp without her and doesn’t let you carry heavy things anymore. Did you get camping supplies? A gunpowder barrel? Mama k got it.

-Lowkey is possessive and clingy with you once you say, “Karlach, I’m yours.”. Karlach has you move your things into her tent and sleeps with her big arms wrapped around you tightly. She doesn’t like the idea that someone else could have you even when she couldn’t touch you, but she was being fair. Now she can touch you. There is no question you are hers, and she is yours.

-Karlach loves to suck on your nipples and just suckle on you. It feels so comfortable and pleasing to her. She likes the heat of your breasts and the way the breast touches her cheek. She likes to see and have them in front of her, but she doesn’t pay attention to much else. She loves how they hang on your ribs and bounce with each step of your body. She usually, on tiring days, just curls up to your chest and rests her head.

Shadowheart

-Shadowheart was so frantic and scared when she first saw you that she didn’t think much about you, but she noticed your protective nature as you focused on getting her out. She almost felt uncomfortable when your caring hand helped her off the ground when she fell. When you both were safely on the ground of the beach, she noticed when you walked over to her that your body had a sway to it. An almost unconscious sensual from the way your hips perk softly as you stride towards her. But also, how strong you seemed in the moment and how determined you looked had a heat run through her. She blushes and keeps it to herself. She decided to travel with you since you saved her and because she didn’t mind seeing the back of you for a while.

-Shadowheart is similar to Lae’zel in that she pushes her feelings aside and denies them. She noticed how you took care of people and liked to comfort people, and she saw how you smiled when everyone praised your food. She keeps herself quiet for the most part, but she does thaw her heart to your seemingly endless warmth.

-She realized she was denying her feelings once she opened up about her past and earliest memory. You actively listened and softly touched her forearm when she finished; all you said was, “Thank you for sharing with me. I promise that I will help with whatever I can for you.”

-Of course, she falls for you. It was hard. But she would be hard to get, and she wanted you to prove yourself more. She was waiting for you to make a mistake.

-But there was none. You were no hypocrite and were this caring and nurturing to your friends. You were a person wrapped up in goodness and light and beauty.

-Shadowheart's defenses crumbled, and she quickly told you her feelings when she learned more about herself. Something for her that didn’t cause pain or suffering. Something good.

-Shadowheart eyes melt when you come close to her.

-Shadowheart would benefit from gentle parenting but is so stubborn that you have to be occasionally firm with her. She likes to be talked to softly, and how you look at her like a precious gem. But a little pain of rejection or shame doesn’t hurt her at all.

-Shadowheart, at night, always cuddles into your back. She sighs contently when her head rests on your pillow. She could bury her face in your back for decades if she could. Her hand resting on top of her beloved hips and pulls you in closer to her body. Shadowheart loves to hold and be held.

-Shadowheart's favorite thing to do is be buried in between your plush thighs, having her ears silenced to the world with your flesh wrapping around her head. It was warm and welcoming, with your beautiful sighs of pleasure.

-Shadowheart confides in you a lot after you two become official. You are the first person she goes to for advice to help her think clearer about a situation, even with her disillusionment of Shar, which was talked about with you. She is typically secretive and calculates what to expose about herself, so getting her to talk to you about her feelings is very big.

-Shadowheart finds out that she does have a soft side, and you comfortably reside there. She looks at you with her big blue eyes melting when you speak to her. She doesn’t care if this makes her reject Shar. If she wants a life with you, she will do it. She could do anything to have a quiet and peaceful life with the woman she loves and be healed some more by the unconditional love she has found.

Minthara

-Minthara has daddy energy, and she likes that you compliment her with the mommy energy you give off. She, however, is not one to be guided or nurtured but loves to be babied (in Drow terms) when she gets the chance.

-Minthara knew that she would have you when you walked into her chamber. She felt a low hum in her body when she noticed the way your body carried itself. The breasts, the arms, the stomach, the hips, the legs, Hmm. But she didn’t have many plans for you, not until you proved yourself to her with blood. She was thrilled to find out that under the soft, innocent look, there was a murder underneath. She felt some kind of pride knowing she found someone to fight alongside her that was actually worthy. She was smitten even if she wouldn’t admit it.

-Minthara sees weakness or softness in any light besides malice. Weakness needs to be beaten out of a person until they are strong. She wasn’t blind to how you seemed sweet and caring and how your eyes seemed coquettish under her gaze. She didn’t know how to feel about this seemingly powerful but weak leader helping her on her mission for the absolute. She would peek into your mind when you weren’t noticing and could tell you were this caring and murderous.

-Obviously, she grows soft towards you with time. Even when she tried to kill you, she wanted it to be mercifully quick and painless. She couldn’t have your warm eyes on her. She does want to be known by you, and she wants to hold and caress you. You made the world quiet, from gods and her self-doubt. Your tender cuddle at night after a fuck, the delicate rubbing of her back as she lays on your breasts, it was everything she had ever craved from any god.

-Minthara doesn’t like surface food at all, and she doesn’t make any comments when she is given food. She does watch from a distance as you cook the group their dinner, and she says a “thank you” when you hand her her portion. She eats all of it for strength and has been trying to get used to the plainness. To her, everything tastes like oatmeal and soulless.

-Her heart almost dropped when she noticed you walking up to her with a bottle of Underdark wine and a wheel of cheese from her rival house's family. She doesn’t know what to say when you happily explain that you had killed a horde of rich drows and then found this and that it made you think about her, handing over the items. She feels herself blush and stares at you. She puts the items down in her tent and drags you off to be claimed again by her.

-Minthara knew she loved you at Moonrise and surely knew when you saved her from Moonrise. Her eyes melted as soon as she felt your figure again. She didn’t even allow herself to hope that you would come, and yet you did. You did with a fierce protective energy as you escorted her out of the castle and killed the guards that kept her.

-Minthara, like Karlach, is possessive and clingy with you once you two become official. She doesn’t like the idea that someone else would get to know this tender and sweet person. She would kill someone over weirdly looking at you. Minthara hovers over you wherever you go and is your plus one in everything. She would scoff and laugh at the mention of you leaving camp without her, and it’s not going to happen.

-Minthara would have a breeding kink so hard with you once she is settled in with you. Minthara would know very early on that she couldn’t imagine a life for herself now without you, and she wanted to keep you beside her forever. She wanted to have a family and continue her bloodline as a noblewoman should, but she wanted you to carry her baby. Trust and believe that Minthara will find some magic device to get you pregnant after you finish the Netherbrain

-Lowkey knew she would marry you and keep you with her for the rest of her life. She quickly knew you were wife material for her and acted like you were already married.

-Minthara doesn’t listen to you even when your tone is strong and demanding, like a mother's. She has enormous dom-daddy energy, and she will not take commands from her sub (except in the bedroom; she is a consent queen).

-“Minthara, stop.” You say as you watch her tower over a dwarf with her poisoned knife to his throat. She doesn’t react at all as she puts the fear of the gods into the poor man, “Minthara!” You hiss to her as you start to walk away. Minthara doesn’t listen to you and slices the dwarf's neck, but she quickly drops him to get beside you. You give her a soft glare, and she glares back as playfully as she can muster.

-Don’t get me wrong, Minthara has mommy issues and she does use you as some kind of new mothering figure. She lays in your breasts at night for safety and comfort, she holds your soft skin with adoration now that she loves you-knows you.

-Minthara likes to grab your hardened nipple sometimes to surprise you and have you make that breathy moan of shock. She likes to pull you in closer with a hand firmly planted in your ass; she pulls you into an intense kiss. She likes to have control over you and to have you writhing with pleasure because of her.

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meanbossart · 9 months ago

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Ask compilation: I'm Starting To Think That This Drow Guy Is Kind Of An Asshole Edition.

Probably a Ranger in the hunter subclass. I actually intended to multi-class him as fighter/ranger at some point and make that his official class, but I haven't had time/quite figured out the best build that would still suit him - Ranger makes a LOT of sense with his backstory, arguably more than fighter, but he's still supposed to be a magic-less brick-house with 19 strength who hasn't handled a bow and arrow in 10 years, so I'm not sure where that leaves us LOL

A lot of people have suggested that Berserk Barbarian would fit him well, but I think that implies a lot of other characteristics that do NOT suit him at all so 🤷

HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CRECHE, and honestly it made the game feel much more immersive to pick one path and stick to it like Halsin suggested, even if I did have to endure the shadow cursed lands without the shiny mace 😂

Probably for the best, it'd be a real shame if the story ended there just because he didn't like Vlaakith's attitude.

But yeah Lae'zel (who, for the record, I adore) never stood a chance in his playthrough. Sorry baby girl.

I'm either uninformed or we have different definitions of what constitutes a crush, but sure I'll play in this space LOL

He's both jealous but also kind of aloof when it comes to things like that. It's yet another symptom of his arrogance, where it seems unfathomable that anyone who has him would be genuinely tempted by someone else. He doesn't mind a normal amount of glance-stealing and flattery, even playful flirting to a degree, but if there's persistence or if his partner seems to seek another person out for things he thinks he should be providing, he feels threatened.

Also, he has a difficult time discerning that "deep emotional connection" does not equal "romantic interest". So, at least immediately after the events of the game, he's more likely to be made insecure by his partners forming deep bonds with others than any throwaway expression of physical desire or fleeting infatuation.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Let me preface this with the (hopefully unnecessary) disclaimer that this murderous dark-elf's opinions are not my own, and that I very much purposefully made a bit of an asshole character because I find that entertaining.

And now that you're hopefully primed for what's coming - DU drow is pretty damn judgemental of people's looks save for the rare times when they give him a good impression right off the bat. He notes people's appearances and makes preemptive assumptions about them without even realizing it. He definitely does not equal beauty to value or prowess (in fact he will very much still mock of you if you seem too concerned with your appearance) but he does prescribe things based on looks.

I don't think he'd take issue with what you're describing, It sounds like a pretty average body, but he would assume that person is weaker and less fit to "keep up with him", basically. Which kind of diminishes interest.

As far as to what he finds immediately attractive, he definitely prefers people who seem physically fit (not more than himself though - gods forbid). But, the caveat to this whole tangent is that once you get past initial impressions, he could definitely come to be sexually attracted to pretty much any type of body attached to the person he's in love with.

Thank you! There was no main event, just the building up of resentment over time and the opportunity she saw opening up when the Chosen's plan came into motion. She definitely didn't always hate him though, they had a fairly close relationship until his obsessive behavior and arrogance became an issue.

Thank you!!!

They call him the/that drow, dark elf, or "big drow" if there's more than one present. In private they might facetiously call him Bhaalspawn if they get tired of referring to him by race.

I'll be honest, I forgot whether or not I found it in his playthrough LOL but if he did stumble across that would be VERY funny. He'd be like "look at these idiots and their fake murder god. What kind of dimwit would worship carnage as a religion. Hey Shadowheart get a load of this-"

HAPPY YOU ENJOY HIM! I think his unique situation overall with having been such a overwhelmingly horrid person and forgetting all about it is my favorite bit. That's kind of vague, I know, but I often think of dreams I've had where I committed a crime or did something horrible, and that immediate feeling of relief and disconnect that follows immediately after waking up. That's kind of what I imagine it's like for him - he knows of the things he did, but he doesn't really. In theory it's all true but that's a truth far too fantastical for anyone to conceptualize even if it's put right in front of your face.

That, tackling the guilt (or lack thereof) of something you genuinely don't feel like you've done and the intricacies of it, that's a fascinating state of mind to explore. I love how many directions you can take that.

For me, having a character who is not good, but is not necessarily pure unadulterated evil, makes for a lot of complex thought experiments and contradictory values. DU drow has a lot of those - things he believes and abides by absolutely except for this specific instance, being contradictory is a pillar of his character and it can be a little challenging to keep up with it - but I'd be lying if I said I don't deeply enjoy that aspect as well all the same.

THANK YOUUUU It took me so long to figure out how to draw Astarion in a way I liked, I'm so relieved that others enjoy it too 😂

Shockingly he did succeed it and was immediately put-off by it, lmao. They wouldn't really develop much of a relationship for a while after that, so at that point DU drow just figured he was trying to get something from him and wrote him off, much as he did with everyone else with the exception of Shadowheart.

He didn't meet her at the Tiefling grove! I didn't even know you could meet her before-hand for the longest time. But he did super, duper kill her at camp of course.

He managed to hide the body and everyone else was none the wiser, huge blood bhaal-sigil on the ground aside lmao. He was a little shocked but didn't feel all that bad about it, kind of resigning to that primal feeling of satisfaction at a job-well-done that overwhelmed him instead. He decided she was too weak to survive out there and he had just spared her the trouble.

#ask compilation #du drow lore

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daemon-in-my-head · 1 year ago

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The little tyrant being ridiculed because "Yes, yes, sure you're a genius and you're the best" is odd. Cuz really, it's not wrong. He is a genius, and he deserves to have that ego.

He did come up with the Absolute plan and he built himself to be one of the most powerful people in the city, or rather the whole ass Sword Coast if you believe the archduke to be even higher than the council of four, and all of that from absolutely nothing. His ego isn't really that unfounded, considering all that he's done. And that's the scary part if we're honest.

Cuz if Orin had gotten over her sibling complexes or if the duel happened a year earlier, the dead three would've probably succeeded. The premise of the game is very much "damn you got lukcy" and the butterfly effect at full display. With Durge still around and in possession of his memories, the brain wouldn't have tried to rebel, the Emperor wouldn't have broken free, if Vlaakith had gotten her hands on Orpheus on top of that Orin wouldn't have been able to shake the alliance the way she did and all of Toril would've been very much fucked. Because the dead three literally had an immortal General, a one of a kind Mastermind as strategist and the very Avatar of the god of murder on their side. As much as its fun to mock them, they were pretty darn overpowered chosen that would've been a very real threat if not for Orin.

#slay girl. your bloodkin please so we have a chance #bg3 #bg3 gortash #bg3 spoilers #enver gortash #bg3 durge #durge #dark urge #ketheric thorm #orin the red

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rickoconnells · 1 year ago

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Spoilers for bg3 ending under the cut but I'm having a lot of thinkings and also feelings on how you spare your companions from being manipulated by godlike beings while falling victim to it yourself repeatedly by the emperor's hand

Aaaanyway. I'm on my second playthrough, deeply unhappy with the choices I made in the first. Like a lamb being led to slaughter, the Emperor manipulates Tav into being little more than a pawn. And I'm annoyed. And this is word vomit.

Yes, you can refuse to give him the stones, and you can either damn yourself or save Karlach in the worst possible way, but regardless, Orpheus dies. The githyanki, who would kill the Emperor, remain Vlaakith's slaves. The Netherbrain, who would kill the Emperor, dies. He is free and you have served your purpose. You will not hear from him again. In fact, you only heard from him when he needed you.

He lies. Continually. Actively and by omission. He appears as the dream visitor, kind, exactly what you want to see - your protector, he REPEATEDLY reminds you. He opens up, he's vulnerable, only YOU can save this sad, trapped dream lord. Save him from what? He won't tell you. You're not ready. Just keep serving him and maybe one day you'll be good enough to know more. Just like Mystra holding back the Weave from Gale. Just like Cazador building an army using Astarion and his siblings' bodies. Just like Shar ripping Shadowheart's memories away again and again. Just be good and some day they will give you what you want.

He never lied. He just didn't tell you. You couldn't handle it. Didn't tell you he was illithid. He couldn't trust you. Trust him. Didn't tell you he was Balduran. Didn't tell you he killed his best friend, clearly in love with him, to save his own neck while that best friend was in the right. He could be once again controlled by the elder brain. He was trapped and controlled by Gortash. He had his fingers in the spine of Stelmane and by extension the city. He was a danger to everyone. But the Wyrm had to die - can't you see? He never lied. He just didn't tell you because it wasn't important. You weren't important enough to know. Don't be so silly. Don't overreact.

Whatever you do, don't free Orpheus. Because then you're being unreasonable. Then you're leaving him no choice. He has to join the Netherbrain, betray you, join what he has been forcing you to fight so hard against, kill you dead for not doing what he wanted, sacrifice you in a ritual of power, make you kill your parents, send your mentor to tell you to detonate the bomb in your chest, snuff out your life for a contract you've broken, take out your heart, make you a slave.

The game is telling you, over and over again, with your companions quest lines, that this is happening. And we all think because we're the hero of the story, it couldn't happen to us, when in reality everyone is the hero of their own story, and everyone has risked the same downfall.

#baldur's gate 3 #the emperor #ramblings tbh about abuses of power #bg3 headcanons #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #shadowheart #lae'zel #wyll ravengard

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starfall-dream · 6 months ago

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So often do I think about how the reader would continue to be kind to the companions that are rude and push them away by helping when they need and protecting them yet distant otherwise. How it would affect them once they realized they liked them. How they'd probably have to struggle to gain any real relationship after all those missed nights as they laugh by the fire with gale and wyll. And even when they start to get somewhere they'll know that they're not as close to them as they could have been due to their own actions. Damn do I think about it

It's something I've always thought about in the context of the au, the hidden jealousy some of the campions, particularly the more prideful ones, like Astarion and Shadowheart. Like I can just imagine how smug Wyll and Gale are because they got to you first almost, watching as the others seethe in their regret. Like especially as reader works to help them with their personal issues, helping Shadowheart overcome Shar, helping Lae'Zel overcome Vlaakith, helping Astarion overcome Cazador, it makes them feel bad, since you're so willing to help with little return.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #yandere bg3 #yandere baldurs gate #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate x reader

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mumms-the-word · 10 months ago

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Illithid Souls - Part 1

What’s up with mind flayers and souls anyway?

I know this deep dive has been done before like a hundred times, based on all the Reddit threads I’ve read, but I feel like a lot of the "evidence" has been scattered about in a lot of places (reddit, tumblr, other threads, other socials, etc). So I figured...why not gather a lot of it here in one place?

As with all my deep dives, this post is designed to equip you with some lore so you can build your own theories and ideas. I’ll offer theories that I find interesting or feasible, but lore is always a little hazy so I’m bound to be wrong or you’re bound to interpret things differently. Just have fun with the lore!

I’ll start by defining what D&D calls a soul, and then…well it unravels from there. In this part we're going to dive into the lore about souls, the afterlife, and where mind flayers differ, along with a bit of in-game context. In Part 2 we'll look at individual case studies (Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Karlach, and Gale).

Buckle up, folks, cause it's a long one!

As always, I’ll include images and image descriptors/text written out in case the pictures fail or are too small to read!

What is a soul?

The entire game of Baldur's Gate 3 is heavily invested in the idea of souls. Raphael wants to bargain with your soul. Mizora has Wyll's soul bound to a contract. Cazador plans to sacrifice 7007 souls. Vlaakith consumes the souls of her faithful. Karlach wants to collect (and use) soul coins. Every tadpoled follower of the Absolute is called a True Soul. This game is OBSESSED with souls.

But it never actually defines a soul, does it? So what do the official D&D rules say?

Well...they don't. Older editions used to split hairs about the difference between a soul and a spirit, but those older editions also used to say that elves, orcs, and half-orcs didn't have souls, so...we've moved on a bit from those days.

In the game, a book on soul coins defines souls as "the sum of personal and magical essence," which is both helpful and vague. The general player consensus is that a soul is the animating "force" that is made up of memories, personality, intelligence, and (possibly) morality, and that in some cases, such as the spell Speak with Dead, a soul differs from a spirit, which merely "animates" the body but does not actually possess the personality or the thinking capabilities of the deceased (though it may have access to memories).

Speak with Dead [...] Until the spell ends, you can ask the corpse up to five questions. The corpse knows only what it knew in life, including the languages it knew. [...] This spell doesn't return the creature's soul to its body, only its animating spirit. Thus, the corpse can't learn new information, doesn't comprehend anything that has happened since it died, and can't speculate about future events.

So there's a chance that while an entire soul is generally made up of personality, memories, and some element of active thinking/decision making/speculation (intelligence, for lack of a better term), the part of a soul that functions as an "animating spirit" is what houses memory. In other words, animating spirit (memories) + personality + intelligence = soul.

This idea of the animating spirit (memories) being housed within a soul, but also detachable from a soul, is important for later, so remember this in a bit.

Souls also have power, which is why the game is obsessed with everyone fighting over souls. Raphael, Mizora, and Cazador trade in souls in exchange for power. There are insinuations in the game that the gods want to stop the "scourge of soulless illithids" (Mystra's words) because souls are a kind of currency to them (though, trust me, trying to find a recent D&D source that clearly states that particular stance is a damn migraine of an endeavor). But Withers does say that souls imbue gods with power, so the game at least operates with that assumption in mind.

According to Withers…

We all know that Withers, aka Jergal, aka the Final Scribe, aka the former god of death, aka the expert on souls, has plenty to say when you ask him to elaborate on anything:

Well, okay, maybe he doesn't. But he does have a bit more to say about souls and mind flayers. For example, when he first brings up the topic of illithids and souls in Moonrise, this is some of the information he can give the player.

Withers: I shall ask yet again. Do illithids possess souls? Player: These abominations are soulless, surely. Withers: Correct. - Player: I'm not sure. Don't all living things? Withers: No. Nor canst thou count mind flayers among them. - Player: I admit I haven't thought about it. Withers: Thou shalt think about it now, and I shall give the answer. Mind flayers are soulless. Yet the Three amass an illithid army, void of apostolic souls that could imbue them with power.

A couple of things to note here. Jergal, the guy in charge of putting down the names of people who die and keeping track of where their souls go, is pretty clear that he thinks mind flayers don't have souls. But his last statement clarifies two things: one, that he is referring specifically to apostolic souls (more on that in a bit) and that souls imbue gods with power.

Souls give the gods a kind of strength. He brings this up when he criticizes the dumb plot the Dead Three came up with in his post-epilogue scene:

Thou sought to bolster thy strength by taking away the souls of mortals. But souls vanish when their hosts become mind flayers.

So we know that souls are a source of power for deities and gods because they imbue gods with power and strength. But gods only get the power of these souls after a mortal dies with their soul intact. If someone becomes a mind flayer...well, let's just say the natural order of things gets disrupted.

What happens when you die?

You see, normally, when someone dies in Faerûn (assuming they are humanoid), their soul travels to the Fugue Plane where it basically waits around until a deity picks them up or Kelemvor decides they're just going to be part of the Wall of the Faithless for forever. From the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide (page 20 because I am, as youtuber Swoop says in her docs, a thorough bitch):

The Afterlife Most humans believe the souls of the recently deceased are spirited away to the Fugue Plane, where they wander the great City of Judgment, often unaware they are dead. The servants of the gods come to collect such souls and, if they are worthy, they are taken to their awaited afterlife in the deity's domain. Occasionally, the faithful are sent back to be reborn into the world to finish work that was left undone.

This is where the idea of apostolic souls comes in. Apostolic, in its most basic definition, means "having the characteristics of an apostle," or having the characteristics of someone who dedicates their entire lives to the teaching of a particular religious figure (in our context and reality, this mostly means the apostles of Christ, but in BG3 it would refer to any deity). I think here, the definition gets stretched a little thinner to mean any soul that is capable of devotion to a deity, rather than a soul that is already devoted. Apostolic souls can be Faithful, Faithless, or False (which is how souls are separated in the Fugue Plane).

In other words, an apostolic soul is a humanoid-specific soul that the deities recognize and can use as a source of power by inviting said soul into their domain. Mind flayers do not have apostolic souls. Emphasis on apostolic here, but we'll back to mind flayers in a minute. For now, let's look at the Faithless and False souls.

Souls that are unclaimed by the servants of the gods are judged by Kelemvor, who decides the fate of each one. Some are charged with serving as guides for other lost souls, while others are transformed into squirming larvae and cast into the dust. The truly false and faithless are mortared into the Wall of the Faithless, the great barrier that bounds the City of the Dead, where their souls slowly dissolve and begin to become part of the stuff of the Wall itself.

Depressing.

The distinction between a Faithless and a False soul is a little hazy, but according to the Forgotten Realms wiki, a Faithless soul is someone who never aligned themselves to the worship of a specific deity or who just didn't believe in the existence of the gods at all (think of Astarion, who outright rejects all gods). A False soul, in contrast, is someone who did believe but failed to serve their god or outright betrayed them (a fate that Gale feels he is faced with for being on Mystra's bad side). Allegedly all the Faithless end up becoming part of the Wall, whereas the False could get mitigated sentences, such as becoming guides for other souls.

Of course, there's nothing stopping deities from combing through Faithless or False souls to collect them into their domains. But it could take a while. Clearly, the more souls a god collects into their domains, the more powerful they become, but the gods are also not exactly fighting over the souls of Faithless or False people, because people can end up waiting hundreds of years before Kelemvor is finally like "guess you're part of the wall now." Your only option to get out of that is to sell your soul to a devil, which isn't a much better fate.

From The Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide, page 25, regarding servants of Asmodeus:

To those not so dedicated, priests of Asmodeus offer the prospect of a reprieve in the afterlife. All souls wait on the Fugue Plane for a deity's pleasure, which determines where a soul will spend the rest of eternity. Those who lived their lives most in keeping with a deity's outlook are taken first. Others, who have transgressed in the eyes of their favored god or have not followed any particular ethos, might wait centuries before Kelemvor judges where they go. People who fear such a fate can pray to Asmodeus, his priests say, and in return a devil will grant a waiting soul some comfort.

This makes me infer two things: first, that the gods are kind of picky about which souls they want to join their domain (regardless of what actually happens to that soul in a deity's domain, which is a topic for a different post entirely, because the results may vary) and therefore the gods aren't just going to go with any soul that ends up in the Fugue Plane. Second, that the gods aren't exactly in a hurry to choose among wandering souls, likely because the Material Plane just keeps producing and destroying mortals, resulting in a constant flow of souls.

We see a glimpse of a god's perspective on the influx of souls when Gale confronts Mystra in the Stormshore Tabernacle (in this case, when you play him as an Origin):

Gale: You're one to talk. How many innocents were you prepared to sacrifice if I detonated the orb? Mystra: Such eddies are unexpectional. Souls arrive and depart your plane with every tide, in circumstances just and unjust. The Weave cannot be lost because we are unwilling to cause a ripple. And that is what is at stake.

She then goes on to say "With each day that passes, the elder brain threatens to become a new kind of god, its worshippers a scourge of soulless illithids." This is what's at stake. The loss of souls on the Material Plane.

The Absolute plot threatens that cycle of birth and death, of souls arriving and departing. But how, exactly, is the mind flayer plot a threat?

Well, for one, if everyone with a tadpole turns into an illithid (which doesn't have an apostolic soul, Withers is adamant about this), and then all the illithids kill all the non-illithids...who is making new babies with apostolic souls? And if there are no new fresh souls, eventually the deities will just also die out, since no one will be left to believe in them and thus their powers will diminish and eventually fade. It might take a few hundred years, but it still spells death for everyone involved.

The irony here is that it means the Dead Three gambled and lost even if their plan to ascend a Netherbrain ends with a success, such as when Tav or Durge decides to dominate the world by controlling the Netherbrain. Either the brain is destroyed and they lose, or the Netherbrain successfully completes its Grand Design and they really lose, because the only winner here after a thousand years would be the Netherbrain. Thus we have Withers taunting them in the post-epilogue scene by asking if they really thought their ploy would succeed.

Okay...so we know that mind flayers killing everyone on the planet is a bad idea because it means that apostolic souls stop arriving in the Fugue Plane. But what about mind flayers? If they don't have apostolic souls, do they have ANY soul worth eternal currency?

Remember, the only way to create more mind flayers is to tadpole a humanoid creature. Without humanoids, mind flayers can't reproduce. But when humanoids turn into mind flayers, they allegedly lose their souls. Right?

Withers says souls "vanish" when the body turns into a mind flayer. But this is vague, and thus allows for a few different theories. Perhaps souls move on to the Fugue Plane while the person-turned-mind-flayer continues existing on the Material Plane. Perhaps the soul just becomes obscured and unrecognizable by the gods. Or perhaps the soul really does go poof and is replaced by something else entirely.

So which is it? Well...first of all, let's set the record straight on mind flayer souls.

Do mind flayers have souls?

The short answer is...yes. They just don't have apostolic souls.

According to Volo's Guide to Monsters (page 80 for those looking through their copies at home):

Illithids acknowledge the existence of divine entities, but it is unusual for any but a deviant mind flayer to actively worship such a power. Since they are capable of planar travel, illithids don't view the afterlife and the Outer Planes in the mythic way that most other races do. Illithids don't believe they possess souls whose eternal fate is governed by the gods. Instead, when a mind flayer's brain is returned to the elder brain to be consumed, the creature's intelligence lives on. Only if an illithid's brain isn't retrieved after death would its consciousness be cast into oblivion.

And on page 72:

An elder brain has a perfect recollection of its race's history. Consequently, it views itself as both a refugee and a victim, forced into hiding by barbaric monsters. An elder brain also sees itself as a savior of the mind flayer race and a living memorial that preserves the memories of the mind flayers' prey. By its twisted logic, humanoids whose brains are devoured by the colony are rendered immortal, their memories preserved forever in the elder brain's labyrinthine mind. When a mind flayer grows old, becomes infirm, or is previously injured, the elder brain absorbs it—another form of immortality, as the mind flayer's mind dwells within the hive mind forever after.

So essentially, mind flayers do have a soul, but because they are a) not humanoid but are aberrations from another plane, and b) not faithful to the deities of Faerûn, their souls are not recognized by the gods. The souls might not even journey to the Fugue Plane when they die. Instead, mind flayers give up their consciousness (their memories, especially) to an elder brain to become part of its eternal collective memory.

It's worth noting that Volo's Guide to Monsters puts emphasis on memory and intelligence here, but not necessarily personality. Mind flayers and elder brains do have a kind of personality, because they experience emotions (we'll look at some conversations with the Emperor in Part 2), but their emotional range seems to be a little limited. For example, regarding elder brains:

An elder brain is arrogant, scheming, and power hungry, yet quick to flee or beg for mercy in the face of a powerful foe. It has no conception of joy, sympathy, or charity, but is well acquainted with fear, anger, and curiosity. It is an intellect utterly incapable of empathy or concern for creatures other than itself.

These limited emotions suggest there might be some element of personality here, but it's not exactly the same as a humanoid personality, which would normally be capable of a wider scope of emotional range. We'll talk a lot more about personality and how transforming into a mind flayer alters that part of one's identity (if not their actual soul) more in Part 2, but for now, just know that a mind flayer technically has all the elements usually present in a soul: an animating spirit (memories), intelligence, and personality (emotion).

When mind flayers die, their memories and intelligence are usually consumed by an elder brain, but it's unclear if the personality is too, or if the personality is destroyed. However, if they're not enthralled to an elder brain or if they die and their brain isn't retrieved to give to an elder brain...then their soul is "cast into oblivion."

Being cast into oblivion could mean anything. It could mean that their soul simply wanders around wherever it died, untethered to anything but unable to move on. Or it could mean that their soul simply ceases to exist. No one really knows what happens to it because renegade mind flayers are extremely rare. BG3 has Omeluum and the Emperor, but other than those two, official D&D lore only lists a small handful of other renegades out of millions of mind flayers over time.

So now you're probably thinking, "Well, wait, but is a mind flayer's soul the same soul that a person had before they became a mind flayer?" And the answer to that is complicated.

Let's talk about ceremorphosis

Normally a mind flayer isn't supposed to remember much of its life prior to ceremorphosis. This is partly why mind flayers eat brains, so they can literally absorb the memories of other creatures and make those memories part of the hive mind. But initially, after ceremorphosis, it seems like the the usual animating spirit (memories) of a person gets destroyed or displaced.

The tadpole grows as it devours the humanoid's brain, attaching to the victim's brain stem and becoming its new brain. Over the course of a week, the humanoid body changes form, and a new mind flayer comes into being. The emergent mind flayer often retains a few dim memories from its previous form, but these vague recollections seldom have any bearing on its new life as a brain-eating monster.

So right off the bat, a typical mind flayer loses the memories (perhaps the animating spirit) of the original host, and it's likely that it loses a lot of the initial personality as well (since it seems likely to lose some of the emotional range). Its intelligence is likely altered too, since the tadpole is literally eating brain matter. So this could lead us to believe two things.

First, that ceremorphosis utterly destroys the host's body and the host's soul likely goes to the Fugue Plane because they have basically died. Their brain has been consumed and their body transformed, so in essence they can't be themselves anymore. Instead, a new soul has taken residence inside the mind flayer body, though where this soul comes from is unclear since tadpoles probably don't have souls. The original soul, however, is free to move to the Fugue Plane and beyond.

Or, alternatively, the host's soul is transformed, shedding memories and personality to become a non-apostolic soul that aligns with an elder brain's hive mind somehow. This means that the host's apostolic soul might be destroyed because it's been changed so drastically, but there are some parts of the original soul still left (the lingering memories, for example). This means the host's original soul didn't move on, but is tethered to the mind flayer body and has been changed into something unrecognizable. When the mind flayer dies, the former apostolic-soul-turned-illithid-soul is either consumed by an elder brain or cast into oblivion.

If the first theory is correct, it seems a little odd that the BG3 companions are so concerned about losing their own souls. If it would just be the same as dying, there would still be some desire to avoid the fate of ceremorphosis, but the companions seem incredibly concerned about losing their own autonomy, as if their consciousness will be trapped inside a mind flayer body and their souls forfeit and unable to move on to the Fugue Plane. After all, Withers is in the business of plucking souls out of the Fugue Plane when we inevitably die in the game.

Specifically, Withers can take a body that has been completely turned to ash and resurrect it with True Resurrection, a spell powerful enough to completely restore a body to its former state. However, there is some assumption here that he wouldn't be able to do this with a mind flayer body, thus the push in the game for a cure.

True Resurrection You touch a creature that has been dead for no longer than 200 years and that died for any reason except old age. If the creature's soul is free and willing, the creature is restored to life with all its hit points. This spell closes all wounds, neutralizes any poison, cures all diseases, and lifts any curses affecting the creature when it died. The spell replaces damaged or missing organs and limbs. If the creature was undead, it is restored to its non-undead form. The spell can even provide a new body if the original no longer exists, in which case you must speak the creature's name. The creature then appears in an unoccupied space you choose within 10 feet of you.

In other words, if theory one is correct, and a person simply dies when they become a mind flayer, Withers should technically be able to resurrect them by pulling their soul out of the Fugue Plane and giving them a new body. You'd have a weird mind flayer clone of you running around, but you wouldn't have to worry about ceremorphosis again.

(But then again, we know the game ignores the organ-regrowing properties of True Resurrection for Karlach, too, so the game intentionally limits the capabilities of True Resurrection.)

If theory two is correct, and the lore is extremely unclear about this process if this is the case, then the companions' reactions and dialogues make a bit more sense. They all talk as though turning into a mind flayer means their soul is somehow destroyed. Mind flayers having souls is likely not common knowledge in the universe (certainly no one in the game is arguing that they have souls), so if a person's soul is transformed beyond recognition it could certainly seem like the host's soul got destroyed. Additionally, this would result in a person's consciousness being trapped inside a mind flayer body, so the loss of autonomy would be a terrifying possibility here.

Plus, we know that when a mind flayer dies, the soul they have (whether a brand new soul or an apostolic soul that has been altered) is consumed or thrown into oblivion. So if theory two is correct, there will be no eternal consciousness for you, allegedly (though there's some debate as to how much eternal consciousness you have in the Fugue Plane or the Outer Planes too...)

We don't know which of these theories is correct, and the game sort of slides between these two theories (as we'll see in Part 2). But, and I cannot stress this enough, this lore only applies to normal mind flayers.

BG3 has altered the usual mind flayer tadpoles with Netherese magic such that things get a little wonky. And beyond that, the ultimate tadpole that changes you (or Karlach, or Orpheus) into a mind flayer capable of wielding the Netherstones is a Supreme Tadpole that has been further altered by the Emperor:

The Emperor: I took this one from the nautiloid. I have been nurturing it ever since - priming it for your use. It is not dissimilar to the experience you already had with the previous one. Only this one is much more potent. All you have to do is open your mind to it. Its latent potential will do the rest.

We don't know how the Emperor has been priming this tadpole, but if it came from the nautiloid, then it is imbued with the same Netherese magic as all the other tadpoles. It's not the same as the Astral-touched tadpole (from Act 2), which has been in the Astral Prism for millennia, but it is somehow more powerful, or at least more effective in transforming you into a new kind of mind flayer, one that can think independently of the elder brain.

So now you (or Orpheus, or Karlach) are a new special kind of mind flayer. Does that change anything?

Yes. In fact, it seems to change quite a lot. But this post is already super long, so you'll have to check out Part 2 to see what I mean.

~*~*~

You made it to the end! Gold stars!!!

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

I'll link part 2 soon~

Tagging those who wanted an update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #mind flayer #the emperor #bg3 lore #bg3 meta #bg3 deep dive #deep dive #long post #super long post #yall the days I put into this #who let me do this to myself

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grabyourpillow · 9 months ago

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Jaheira (half-elf druid with two sticks) having just faced Vlaakith (undying super powerful about-to-be goddess intergalactical tyrant of a people of warriors): we might have to kill her. Damn. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

#she js literally. so funny. i love her #she has no fucks left to give and is actually really chill #she might just be my favorite character #bg3 #jaheira

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genovianxprince · 10 months ago

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OK I think I understand some of why some people in the fandom choose to make Mystra some kind of a terrible, grooming abuser to Gale. It's because every one of the companions has like a specific person you can point to and say, that is the abuser. That right there is the person who has caused the companion grievous harm. Gale and Mystra are a little more complex than that.

Shadowheart and Lae'zel technically have a whole cult/culture backing up the abuse, but you can still pretty directly point to Viconia and Shar for Shadowheart, and ultimately Vlaakith for Lae'zel as well as just... every Githyanki she ever met, except for Kith'rak Voss.

Wyll has Mizora, Karlach had Zariel and Gortash, Astarion has Cazador, all very obvious and self explanatory in the game. They were innocent, kidnapped, coerced, sold, played like a damn fiddle. But Gale?

Gale has Mystra, a goddess he loves, who also loves him, and the things they did to each other were both fucked up, and a lot of the fault totally lies with Gale! The other companions all had external forces affecting them. Gale's was mostly internal. He refused to believe he was good enough. "As inconceivable as it seems to me now, I shared a bed with a goddess and I still wasn't satisfied." A literal goddess, the one he favored, the one he was in love with, who favored and loved him back, consistently told him he was perfect as he was and he straight up did not believe her. He placed himself on a higher and higher pedestal he could never reach the top of because if he wasn't constantly climbing to some nebulous goal of perfection, then could he be good enough for Mystra?

Y'know, instead of just believing the woman he was in love with. And I get it! Insecurities suck! Especially when you've been the gifted child your entire life, perfectly talented at something that all the adults in your life go nuts over. But also, it is extremely arrogant to assume you know better than your literal goddess and be like "yo, there's a missing piece of the Weave and I can go get it" like... Mystra is the Weave, she would have known and probably sent someone on a quest if it were actually Her Weave and not Karsus' Weave.

Gale is INCREDIBLY hubristic and he keeps falling for that trap. He's overconfident. Hell, even after his year in isolation where he comes out humbled, a small group of people believing in him for a short amount of time gets him to go "omg, crown of karsus = godhood, I can totally do that and tell the gods they SUCK and overthrow Ao's rules!"

Like, babyboy, no.

Of course, Mystra is not without some fault. After Gale's initial... Folly-up, she just ignores him for a year. Damn, girl, what the hell! Well. You see. The Netherese orb is a fragment of the magic that Karsus used to try to ascend and steal her throne with. The magic that she realized was going to kill everything if she didn't sacrifice herself. For a moment, all magic ceased to exist, including Mystryl herself, and Karsus died. Then Mystra came into being. Gale tells you a short version of this story himself! So it kind of makes sense that Mystra would see this shard of magic and just... kinda have a trauma reaction! And to gods, time flows differently. It wouldn't shock me to learn she didn't realize it had been a year by the time Gale left his Tower due to mind flayer shenanigans. Naturally, she does not want to discuss the thing she's so terrified of, and just tries to have it destroyed without her having to touch it—the plan to have Gale blow himself up on the Absolute itself, and she would save his soul. And even after he disobeys her instruction, she still allows the orb to feed on the true Weave! She still lets him live without fear of blowing up randomly, even though it greatly distresses her to let this magic that killed her once feed on her own life force.

Then he reaches the city, and reads The Annals of Karsus, and realizes she's going to have to explain, despite not wanting to. And she summons him. Tells him exactly what's in his chest. Asks him to turn over the Crown and she will destroy the orb and face her own trauma, because Gale... doesn't want to die. She understands that. And she still loves him and his big beautiful brain despite how stupid he's been, and she wants to have him as her Chosen again.

Things will never be the same, of course. They both fucked up. Gave each other a bad time. But in the end, they forgive each other and move past it. Not as a couple, because things broke too much for that. But they can have a healthy relationship as Goddess and Chosen once more.

And that is what sets Gale and his trauma apart from the companions. He doesn't have a direct abuser or live in a horrific abusive society. He almost killed the goddess of all magic a second time and she had an understandably harsh reaction to that, even if it was still too harsh. I just don't believe it's only Mystra who fucked up here. Not by a long shot. Much of it lies squarely with Gale.

And, as for the grooming allegations [as far as people trying to say it is canon], literally just no. She's a True Neutral goddess. Gale literally tells you that you are not his first mortal lover, he had a few before he ever fell into Mystra's bed, and you're just the first since the breakup about a year ago. The game doesn't shy away from sex and sexual abuse in the least. Why on Earth would this be something hidden behind several layers of nonexistent subtext? It's definitely fun for AU's, but by Ahghairon's lost nose, no, it's not canon!

#my posts #bg3 #gale dekarios #mystra

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thelikesoffinn · 1 year ago

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Bro why do u hate ascended Asterion so much? He's still asterion

Would you believe me if I told you that I actually don't hate ascended Astarion? Because I really don't!

Now, do I think it's a sad ending? Yes, yes I do. But do I hate it? Absolutely not.

Quite the opposite, actually. I do like the ascended ending for what it is - the bad ending. It's really really well written and I do enjoy it in it's own special way. What I don't like, however, is the attitude a lot of people face it with.

This entire 'ascension is the best ending for him' and 'it's the right choice for him, even if it isn't good'. 'not letting him ascend is selfish because that is what he wants!', 'he still loves you after ascension' and 'he's still the same, just strong' is what I dislike.

Like, if you're into that ending and you prefer it for some reason, that's totally cool, but claiming this is the best ending for him? Damn, that hurts my heart and my soul.

Why I can't even say. Maybe it's because of who I am - both a social worker and a child raised by abusive, narcissistic parents - but to me it's glaringly obvious what ascension will cost him. It's so clear what he is giving up and WHY he is giving it up because, in my own way, I've been there myself. And I've worked with people who've been there as well. (Less murderous, obviously, but equally as self-destructive!)

And because I've been there - on both sides, his and Tav's - I know that none of that will be necessary if there's one person next to him that says 'Hey. Astarion, I know you're hurting but...you don't need to run and hide anymore. You're free and...you're enough.'

So everytime someone claims that ascension is the best ending for him, that it's his good ending and that not letting him ascend is the selfish thing to do, oh boy. It really grinds my gears!

But, in the end, I don't hate the ascended ending at all.

If we're talking companion-endings that I hate, I'd personally propose Karlach choosing death, actually! Because that? That's just unnecessarily dumb.

I know she doesn't want to go back and I know why, I really do, but the thing is...It won't be like before. Things have already changed and they will keep on changing from now on. She's a different Karlach already, so the change is unavoidable! I mean, she's not working for Zariel anymore and, even more importantly: She won't be alone! She has friends now, actual friends that would definitely accompany her if she asked them to. Shit, Wyll even offers it up on his own without being asked! She can come back to the surface from time to time, because it seems like her heart can take periods outside of Avernus as long as she returns once it get's bad. Like, shit, make the House of Hope your homebase, girl! Granted, Hope is a bit ditzy but I'm sure she'll be a joy to be around! And it doesn't even need to be forever! Like, come on, we're already trying to make sure that a fucking vampire can walk in the sun without the use of a tadpole or ascension, I'm sure we can all pencil in 'find a new heart for babygirl' or whatever. And there's Dammon!!! Dammon is smart and talented and unnecessarily handsome and lovable, so he'll surely find a way to fix that darn engine as long as she's alive!

So yeah, that's an ending I actually do hate! Maybe because it feels like conversations I have with clients all the time - scared people and people with trauma can be so extremely stubborn, believe it or not - so it just hits a nerve, haha.

(Oh and I also hate Lae'zel's ascension. The girl is so smart and still doesn't notice how full of shit Vlaakith is? Nah, that's just heresy, I won't accept that one. I know loyalty and morals are a thing, but still no. Blegh.)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate #astarion #bg3 astarion #ascended astarion #astarion ancunin #karlach #bg3 karlach #karlach cliffgate #lae'zel #lae'zel of k'liir #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 dammon #dammon

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trappedinafantasy37 · 10 months ago

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A Minthara origin would be the most entertaining, fascinating, and most compelling origin

Unfortunately, it doesn't work given how her story already plays out. When it comes to discussions on who can be considered the main character of the game, Minthara is often overlooked as a candidate despite the fact that she just oozes main character energy.

What makes Minthara's story so compelling is that she starts off already enthralled by the Absolute. As her origin, you would have to experience coming to the surface from the Underdark, getting lured into a trap, tortured and forcibly converted by Orin (this is probably where her origin would actually start gameplay wise), committing a litany of atrocities in which you have no ability to do anything otherwise, failing the Absolute and getting tortured again, and then you get freed in which you swear bloody vengeance against the Absolute. Unlike the other origins, you as Minthara would end up actually having to live and experience the torments that are merely talked about in conversation with the other origins (with the exception of Shadowheart as Shar actively tortures her throughout her origin).

The entirety of Act 1 would be completely different from the origins because she wouldn't be on the Nautiloid. Remember, the Nautiloid was Gortash's mission and Minthara has no connection to Gortash, only to Ketheric and Orin. She would literally have no reason or business being on the Nautiloid. In order for her to start there with the others, her entire backstory would have to be changed which would do her story a massive disservice. No, a Minthara origin would only work if her story legitimately starts with her already a part of the Absolute.

But, then we come across the biggest narrative hurdle in her origin: how does she get the Prism? At least with the other origins, you get the Prism pretty much from the get-go via Shadowheart. (Hell, even if you ignore her she will kinda force herself into your party anyway.) Since Shadow has the Prism, how do you explain these two character naturally coming together on their own if they are not on the Nautiloid together? Does Minthara go find Shadow, or does Shadow come to her? And, how exactly does Minthara retrieve the Prism from Shadow? Given Minthara's nature in Act 1, there is a very high likelihood that the retrieval of the Prism in Act 1 may be fatal for the half-elf, meaning you as Minthara will be down one companion.

Another narrative hurdle is determining what Act Minthara should get the Prism. I personally think her story works best if she doesn't get the Prism until Act 2. Her torture scene, as brutal as it is, is a turning point in her character motivation, similar to Shadow finding out about the Nightsong or Bae'zel finding out the truth about Vlaakith. If you pay very close attention, Minthara actually does manage to break out of her enthrallment on her own without the Prism and it was because she was tortured directly by the Absolute.

Considering the fact that she has an actual religious faith in the Absolute, Minthara simply having the Prism wouldn't be enough to break her loyalty. This is why the Emperor doesn't bring her completely into the fold in Act 1, even though he does disconnect her from the Absolute temporarily. Unfortunately, this means that you as the player characters, gets tortured (which serves as fantastic motivation for you to want to destroy the Absolute).

So, if Minthara doesn't get the Prism until Act 2, you end up with the same dilemma of explaining how Shadow and Minthara come together. Not only that, but if she doesn't get the Prism until Act 2, what of the other companions? At this point, a Minthara origin legit has a very high likelihood of being a solo or near solo run, which would also make her origin the most mechanically difficult to play. But, I personally don't think that's much of a problem. Minthara is pretty damn OP in her own right. I literally have a list of bosses that she has solo'd or nearly solo'd for me. So, although mechanically difficult, I still think it'd be very doable to do a solo run in a Minthara origin. However, this would also make her story so much more rewarding, a single paladin fighting against god by herself? Sign me the fuck up!

A plus side to a Minthara origin is that she would end up having the most amount of unique content to all the origins in the entire game cause her story wouldn't really start in the goblin camp, but most likely in Moonrise (it would kinda act as a prologue to Act 1 if anything). This also means that Act 1 would actually be a bit shorter for her than the other origins as the entirety of the Underdark/Grymforge would be inaccessible in her origin. Remember, Minthara is an enemy of Lolth by this point and returning to the Underdark means you as the player character would just die immediately. Which is a real shame cause that is a lot of content to lose. So, it would have to be made up elsewhere, giving Minthara content that the other origins will never have.

Unfortunately, she would be the least played origin because for all of Act 1, you as the player character would be forced to do evil things because Minthara has no free will. Which means you would have no free will and you cannot make any choices for yourself. Most players can barely handle the Alfira scene with Durge, the only moment in the game in which you are forced to do something evil. And, to this day, players still actively whine and cry and bitch about raiding the grove for Minthara. It seriously feels like half the fandom is just mad that raiding the grove is an option that's available. I don't really think many players can handle being forced as Minthara to raid the grove. In a Minthara origin, there will be no knock-out method, no loophole, no exploit. You as the player character would be forced by the Absolute to raid the grove as you do not have the ability to do otherwise.

Having no free will as Minthara through the entirety of Act 1 is what makes her story so much more compelling as an origin. Because it would be frustrating as a player to play a game of choices and not be able to make any choices. As a player it would be frustrating to be forced to do the evil and bad things. As a player, having no free will for the entirety of Act 1 would serve as fantastic motivation to destroy the Absolute, to destroy Ketheric, and to destroy Orin. It would actually make an Oath of Vengeance paladin so much more rewarding to role play as because you would actually feel the intense desire to seek vengeance for yourself.

It is a real shame that Minthara doesn't have her own origin and it's a shame that there are just too many narrative hurdles for it to work. For all the other origins, your story starts with you just wanting to get rid of the tadpole. As you learn more about it, you stumble across the Absolute and learn about the elder brain. From there, your motivation is either to destroy the Absolute, or claim it for yourself for the sole purpose of getting rid of the tadpole.

But a Minthara origin has a completely different motivation as it's intensely personal. You were stolen from your home, your oath to Lolth was stolen from you, you were tortured by Orin and Ketheric let it happen, a worm was forced into your brain, you were forced to commit atrocities, and robbed of your free will. Would that not just piss you right the fuck off and want to make your tormentors pay?! In this case, you as Minthara don't need a personal quest. The main questline IS your personal quest. I don't know about you, but that is some mad main character energy.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #minthara #minthara baenre #nightwarden minthara baenre #minthara as an origin #shadowheart #lae'zel #ketheric #orin #orin the red #durge #the dark urge #minthara is a main character not some sidekick

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