#very stable job and multiple degrees thank you)

[tbh-entp]

My ENTP dad's employees told him the reason why I'm single and not birthing grandkids is that he raised me to be too independent and not take shit from men because he treats my INTJ mom so well.

and i know they didn't quite mean it as a positive because this came up in comparing photos of the grandkids and them tell him why he's got none... but it's a little twisted because what they're saying is that their daughters aren't being treated well...?

[autumnbell32]

@king-shango-the-great My immediate reaction is to thank you for a civil response. Although, silly me, I'm not sure what you mean by saying I am telegraphing your response- I've never heard that phrase before. I do think the conversation is important for everyone, though. In response to: "Because if you blame not being honest with people on your mental illness, then you truly do need help. If you don't blame it on the mental illness, then well...... you kinda suck as a person."

May I ask why you assume anyone would blame not being honest with people on their mental illness? Is this a preconceived notion or an assumption of some sort? I'm genuinely curious, my friend. Anyone reading both of our posts will see that we agree that honesty is the best policy.

The job comparison- I'm just going to leave that where you put it because it doesn't translate well for me. We are talking about humans and their mental health and there is going to be an ebb and flow- I find your thinking has some very hard lines in it. A person may apply for a job and be capable, but those capabilities may change- become better or worse- over time, multiple times.

And absolutely- stability is the ultimate goal. But for many people with mental illness, there will be relapses and flares. I have bipolar type ii, so I have times of great stability and functionality, and times of horrible depression and immobility. I didn't ask for this, it just is and I work hard to limit the backslides. And how, may I ask, am I requesting you "partake" in my condition, mate? We are talking about a medical condition, not a bad habit or an alternative belief system. We aren't debating politics here.

But you did hit a nail on the head when you said "those that do, do so because they choose to." And that is what I want my fellow mentally ill friends to really take away from all of this. While I hear you saying that you want someone who is on their A game mentally (good luck finding a person in this scary world that doesn't have some sort of anxiety or depression- even if short lived, even if situational- if anyone denies personal experience with this, they are likely not being honest...and if you start a relationship with someone you love and they fall into the grip of some sort of mental health issue, I hope that you persist for them), there are people that choose to love mentally ill people. To my mentally ill friends: THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL CHOOSE TO LOVE YOU. Anyone who decides that you are not worth their time, is not worth yours.

As an addendum, it feels unbalanced to me that you, as someone who is stating they are mentally and emotionally stable and healthy and has no personal experience with being mentally ill, are giving advice to mentally ill people. Open up a conversation, sure. Tell your story, yes because it is valuable and is a good learning experience for everyone, but please do not direct mentally ill people on how to live their lives. If you are going to be bold enough to direct people on how to live their lives, perhaps you should stick to advising your fellow cohorts with ironclad mental health. And I would really appreciate it if you didn't drag other disabilities (blindness- which there are varying degrees of, just like there are different types and varying degrees of mental illness- I feel like most abled people forget these things so they should just leave it) in as comparisons, analogies, parallels, etc. That doesn't translate either and it's disrespectful.

@anxietyproblem

[qqueenofhades]

"I have many thoughts (most of them ranty) about the whole gig economy and freelancing and everything else we are expected to do just to stay afloat." I have popcorn and plenty of time to read a rant if you ever want to go in depth on the fuckery of the current system.

Like. With absolutely no exaggeration, this is the entire first page of one of the academic jobs boards that I regularly visit:

So... literally all they want is adjunct, online, part-time, non-tenure faculty who are expected to drop in, teach one or two courses for one (maybe two) semesters, then start the entire grueling job-search process all over again! Sure, that makes sense, and will definitely enable you to build a stable and predictable career that allows you to grow as a scholar and pursue meaningful work and research! How the hell are you supposed to be able to plan for the future, know what you're doing or where you're going to be, or anything else?

Not to mention the absolutely insane requirements that come with each application: just the other day, I finished one that, with all the necessary documents included, was 32 pages long. Nor is this at all uncommon. Many of the adjunct jobs listed above often want you to submit multiple documents, transcripts, letters of recommendation, teaching statements, research plans, etc etc, for -- I repeat -- a non-guaranteed, only-if-we-need-you, maybe-someday part-time job that will last six months at most and may or may not involve actual physical work (as opposed to trying to teach an online Zoom class, which is the devil). This is obviously specific to my particular field, but it's emblematic of so many things that are wrong with the economy, our approach to the humanities and historical knowledge, and the absurd hoops that people even in far less specialized areas have to deal with. Once upon a time, a college degree pretty much guaranteed employment; now it rarely does. Which is a direct and entirely foreseeable result of how systematically the rules of the economic game have been rigged by the people who benefited from them the most: the baby boomers and early-Generation X'ers. And instead of actually serious pushback against that (though there's more than there used to be) we just get "lololol millennials are lazy and entitled!!!"

I have three degrees, including a doctorate in a highly specialized field which represents 10+ years of higher education, and I'm still reduced to making lattes on the weekends in an attempt to somehow pay most of my bills. I don't know how I'll make it to the end of the year, since I've already had several other part-time jobs suddenly crap out on me and this one is only guaranteed through the end of August. And it's like... do you think I WANT to be doing this? Don't you think I would prefer to be doing the job that I trained to do and for which I would like to have an actual sustainable career model, rather than /waves hand/ All This Shit? I will give you a hint: yes. Yes, I actually would. And yet.

Anyway. Thank you for this opportunity to get that off my chest. It's just all so very, very stupid.

[sodacansculptures]

Hello, everyone!!

Just wanted to give an update on my life and my absence. It is a bit depressing, so feel free to skip the rest of this post. I am on mobile and do not know how to do a "read more", so I apologize.

The TL;DR version is that I have been struggling with unemployment for over a year (thanks, covid) and have become very discouraged in my efforts, and I am essentially in survival mode while battling depression. I do have a therapist and I know I will ultimately be okay--just not having a particularly good time at the moment.

The full version is that in 2018, finishing grad school became my top priority and was why I had to take a break from sculpting. I graduated in May of 2020 with my Master's, and I had a job lined up with a university, but it got withdrawn because the whole university shut down. As far as I know, the position was never re-offered or re-posted.

The industries for which my degrees qualify me and that I am pursuing were highly affected by budget cuts and project cancelations due to the pandemic, so they have many displaced workers seeking reentry into the field, resulting in unusually high numbers of applicants and competition for people such as myself. (USA Today actually interviewed me for my expertise on this topic.)

Lower-tier jobs pass over me because I am overqualified and they assume I will be pursuing other employment, leaving them with turnover, which is expensive to any agency. Higher-tier jobs are in high demand as they offer better wages and better working conditions, so they have a large crop of candidates from which to pick and elect someone with more experience than myself (and obviously I cannot gain more experience without employment). I am in a sort of impossible situation that has left everyone involved in my employment search with frustration.

Over the past year, I have enlisted the help of an employment training/retention program and multiple staffing agencies, and they have been extremely supportive of me and helped me expand my network. I have sought out much help, and I am endlessly grateful to have support, but unfortunately there is little they can do more than what I have already been doing for myself to gain employment.

I have a stellar resume, an awesome number of favorable and practical references, and I always study the agency and position to which I am applying so I can write an informed cover letter and have relevant talking points during interviews. I put a lot of time and effort into every opportunity, and when I inquire for feedback, employers repeatedly tell me that they admire my resourcefulness and work ethic and think I would be an extremely valuable worker, but another candidate just had a little more experience. It is heartbreaking to know I have done my best and interviewed excellently but ultimately end up back at square one. I honestly wish there was something I was doing wrong so that there was something tangible I could improve to fix my situation.

My effort feels invisible to the outside world and it seems the public assumes I am on a sort of easy vacation. In reality, every day for me is full of uncertainty, and every day, I wish I could be working. I get by utilizing my skills from high school robotics and self-instruction via the internet to repair, restore, and upgrade old electronics, but it is not stable work and not for what I went to school.

Additionally, I have been deemed not to qualify for Unemployment for a nonsensical rationalization. They ask for employment history in order to calculate how much to pay, but for some reason, student jobs do not count as jobs to them. So although they have me in their system as having been employed as a graduate assistant, they both demand to know from my previous employer what that wage was (and the institution would not forward that wage information to Unemployment because it is a student job and irrelevant to Unemployment's calculations), and would not consider that, anyway, in how much to pay me. So essentially, Unemployment could not figure out how much to pay me, so they just decided not to. I have opened appeals over the situation with them twice, and I have been rejected twice and had the case closed with no opportunity to reopen it. It is a huge slap in the face that even the social system put in place to help people such as myself has failed me and turned me away.

I would take a factory job or do some other physical labor since those are hiring, but I have plantar fasciitis and being on my feet for more than an hour or so at a time just is not feasible for me. I was receiving physical therapy for it at one point, but insurance stopped covering it because they decided I should have had enough visits by now to have recovered. I'm also struggling to get my insurance to cover things like treatment for GERD, which makes eating anything at all a nightmare to deal with.

I have been getting by mostly on pity from family and friends. I do not have unnecessary things like wifi, and I have a lot of expenses I had been putting off because I assumed I would have a job by now (such as a vacuum cleaner. Mine is broken). It kills me to ask for money because it's embarrassing for me that I can't provide for myself, and I got into the field of public administration because I want to be a servant to the people and help them have resources and money, not take money from them.

If you don't have a lot of money, please keep it for yourself. I'm not hurting that badly that I would want to put others in a precarious situation. But if you have a little change you'd like to spare for me (and absolutely no pressure. If I receive nothing, I will still be okay), my Venmo and my PayPal are each @asclw7643. Any little bit would help and I'd be greatly appreciative.

Finally, I did finish that project I was posting about last year in my previous post. I want to post a photo of it, but I can't seem to locate where I put it at the moment. It's Kicks from Animal Crossing. I wanted to do a series of wooden block sprites (mainly Pokemon) and I do still want to. I want to come back to soda can sculpting, as well, so I want to let you all know that I'm here, I'm alive, and I'll persist.

Thank you all for your patience. I promise it will be rewarded and I have a lot of ideas for new sculptures. =]

With love,

- Crystal

(or Cris. I go by either.)

[leiawritesstories]

Another Place

Nessian Week, Day 5: Alternate Universe (AU) Day

Yes, I took the prompt literally. ;)

Word count: 2914

Warnings: fuzzy science, fuzzy space mumbo jumbo, language

Skye Penderwick belongs to Jeanne Birdsall. All other characters belong to SJM. 

@nessianweek

~~~~~~

“I’m heading out, Doctor.”

Dr. Nesta Archeron, who held a PhD in astrophysics, looked up from her desk. “All right, Skye, thanks for everything. See you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely. Don’t forget to sleep, Dr. Arch!”

“Never do, Dr. Pen!”

The other astrophysicist’s snort of laughter floated down the hall. “Yeah, right.”

Fine, maybe there were nights when Nesta stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, scribbling calculations on the chalkboards and in her notes, combing through theories of all the great scientists before her, adding bits and pieces to her own theory, and generally ruining her sleep schedule with badly timed, random “a-ha!” moments. But to be fair, seven years of developing a theory of alternate universes would do that to a person. 

Seven years ago, she’d run across an anomaly on a deep-space image that didn’t match anything ever recorded or observed by any scientist, ever. And yet it was small enough that most scientists could easily overlook it; it blended into the edge of the nebula that was the focus of the image. Nesta had noticed it, though, and that small imperfection, the wrinkle in the darkness of space, rooted into her mind and stayed there, leading her to question what the hell that blur was and why the hell it was there.

Which in turn led her down the murky rabbit hole of various theories of wormholes and other flaws in space-time, none of which aligned with her observations. And then down the even murkier rabbit hole of theories (of varying degrees of coherence) of parallel and alternate universes. The alternate universe idea in particular intrigued Nesta, and she spent weeks researching every bit of information available, noting how it lined up with her observations, and finally coming to a realization that this image her team had captured could serve as visible, concrete evidence in favor of a theory of alternate universes.

She’d drafted the first bit of her theory and formed a small team to develop it by the next morning.

After five years, countless different images of the anomaly, multiple variations on complex equations, much screaming, and three lifetimes’ worth of coffee, Dr. Nesta Archeron hit a wall.

Literally and figuratively.

Because when she ran into what seemed like an insurmountable block, she punched the nearest wall as hard as possible.

The cracks still radiated across one wall of her lab.

That block, and her efforts to break through it, introduced her to Dr. Skye Penderwick, a brilliant American astrophysicist who, coincidentally, also happened to be fascinated by the theory of alternate universes, despite having no theory of her own. She’d been working at the same facility as Nesta for several months before the two actually met, and within days of Nesta inviting her into her lab, she’d proposed a potential solution to the Archeron team’s roadblock.

It worked.

Nesta offered her a collaborator position that very day. Skye accepted.

Two years later, they were on the edge of breakthrough. Both of them knew it. Both of them saw clearly where their calculations, their notes, their carefully chronicled, detailed observations of the motion of the anomaly, and their years of hard work were leading. The theory Nesta so elegantly posited was nearly complete. All the two self-described space nerds needed was something, anything, to hint beyond scientific explanation that on the other side of that anomaly laid an alternate Earth.

Unfortunately, that something hadn’t shown up quite yet.

For, despite all the remarkable achievements of space science--lightspeed travel, quantum leaping, imaging software capable of capturing formations’ minute details, even the discovery of other habitable planets in faraway galaxies--nobody had yet been able to present a coherent, plausible theory of an alternate universe.

Yet.

Sighing, Nesta pushed back from her desk and walked to the back of her laboratory. She placed her index finger in a barely visible indent in the pristine white wall. A panel slid silently open, revealing a space illuminated by a soft blue glow. A nondescript grey-and-cobalt pressure suit hung neatly in a glass case. Nudging the panel closed, Nesta opened the case and removed the pressure suit.

Hers.

For her…uncatalogued trips. Trips to the station her team had planted by the anomaly. 

Trips which Nesta took regularly. She couldn’t risk any of her team traveling; each and every one of them was needed in the lab. No, it was her job and hers alone to make a regular leap to the station, check on their telescopes, and observe the anomaly up close.

She’d never tried to cross it. Not that she believed there was no passage; in fact, she’d painstakingly detailed the fascinatingly inexplicable illusion of a gap that appeared once every year, and had always failed to conclude if there truly was a gap.

Hence tonight’s little jaunt to the station. That gap had just appeared, and since it only showed for sixty hours, she had to go now.

So Dr. Nesta Archeron slid into her pressure suit, fastened the sleek boots and gloves, programmed the correct coordinates into the screen built into the underside of the suit’s left forearm, locked on her helmet, and keyed in the quantum leap sequence.

A blink later, she stood on the steel tiles of her team’s small, simple station deep in the reaches of outer space. Removing her helmet, Nesta allowed herself exactly three minutes to drink in the wonders of deep space.

Then she set the station’s timers for forty-eight hours, sat at the control panel, and piloted her space station/highly advanced spaceship into the gap in the universe.

For it was indeed a gap.

~

Commander Cassian Ilnair released the cockpit hatch of his sleek “interstellar exploration transport,” or, as he called her, the Millenium Falcon. Bloody government and their bloody idiotic pompous names for spaceships. That’s all it was, a spaceship, albeit a highly advanced, highly adaptable one that had carried him and up to four crew safely across nearly every corner of the universe and back to Earth.

Pulling his flight helmet off, he shook out his unruly shoulder-length hair, half- unzipped his navy blue pressure suit, and started postflight checks. 

“She’ll need to be refueled and the usual before she travels again, but other than that, good as new,” he reported to his CO, a woman five feet tall if she was an inch whose impeccable, formidable exploration resumé and take-no-bullshit demeanor made up for her diminutive height. 

“Excellent, Commander. I expect a full report on Disturbance AS-2947C by noon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Cassian saluted.

“Dismissed.”

As he headed for the shower, Cass stole a glance at his wrist screen, which showed eight-fifteen a.m. Damn space time, he grumbled to himself, throws off my goddamn body clock. Luckily, he’d noted no significant change in that particular disturbance since the last time he visited it two weeks ago. That’d make his report much easier, indeed.

Sure, the disturbance was rippling ever so slightly, but it did that every year at this time and had been doing so since it appeared exactly seven years ago. 

Not a single scientist in all the ranks of the space force could provide a plausible explanation, or even a cohesive theory.

Disturbance AS-2947C was just that, a disturbance. A puzzling, inexplicable snag in the fabric of space time that had just appeared one day and sat around for seven years, following a routine path of motion but not really moving anywhere, just pulsing, and showing a ripple for exactly sixty hours exactly once per year.

Cassian knew his brilliant astrophysicist friend Dr. Emerie Nguyen was developing a theory that AS-2947C was a wormhole, but so far she hadn’t found any evidence to support there being another side to it. So far, all Emerie could say was that this disturbance could very well be the concrete evidence of stable wormholes she and every other member of the space sciences sector had been chasing for years. And yet they were still chasing it. 

He quickly showered and changed into his everyday uniform, slipped his wristband back on, and drew up a quick set of notes for the commodore. At exactly two minutes before noon, he knocked on her office door.

“Enter.”

Cassian stepped into the office, closed the door, and saluted. “Ma’am.”

“At ease, Commander. I believe you’re early today.”

“Some days I try to be punctual, Commodore.”

“I see.” She motioned to the west wall. “Report, Commander.”

Tapping three fingers twice against the wall, Cassian swiped an image from his tablet onto the wall, which doubled as a presentation screen. 

“Today’s imaging of Disturbance AS-2947C shows no remarkable differences from the last set. The formation has not morphed or shifted noticeably in any direction.” He swiped to a new image. “The annual irregularity in the approximate center of the disturbance appeared on schedule roughly three hours before we arrived, making it now roughly seven hours visible.” 

“Any notable observations about the irregularity?”

“No, Commodore. The irregularity is behaving exactly like it has for the six years we’ve observed it. It merely appears as what looks to be the illusion of a gap, holds steady for sixty hours, and disappears. We have never been able to decipher if the irregularity is in fact a gap or if it is simply a change in the observed color.”

“Have you never attempted to pilot your craft towards this irregularity?”

Cassian swallowed. “With all due respect, Commodore, yes. I believe you are familiar with the deep-space engine failure incident of last year?”

“I am.”

“That was my attempt to discover more about the irregularity.”

“Ah.” The commodore tilted her head, her eyes calculating. “Though I never did hear the pilot’s explanation of this failure.”

“First, may I ask what the engineers’ conclusion was?”

“The engineers concluded that the engine failure, which somehow you managed to prevent from becoming catastrophic, was the result of a power failure caused by the change in the conditions of space within the disturbance. They informed me that the engine short-circuited when your craft entered the boundary of the disturbance, but they could not explain or even theorize why.”

Cassian nodded. “I can theorize why. Commodore, I believe the power failed because, simply put, the way we fuel our crafts does not exist within the disturbance.”

“Are you implying that neither solar nor stellar energy exists within AS-2947C?”

“Yes, ma’am, I am. The instant I entered that region, my engines went completely silent. I had no time to observe anything else, as my immediate reaction was to reverse course and exit, lest I risk total craft failure and being stranded in the deepest parts of space. My craft regained power once outside the disturbance region, and I made it back, despite one of my engines being nonfunctional. As I’ve thought about it over the months, I can only come to the conclusion that the power cut off because there was no available power source.”

Commodore Amren considered Cass’s explanation. “It is logical, and it would explain why the engineers could not determine the cause of the failure. Power source failure, when rectified immediately, leaves behind no visible evidence within the engines of our craft.”

“Commodore, I still want to enter the disturbance. I believe that a craft carrying physical fuel could safely enter the region.”

“Physical fuel became obsolete decades ago, Commander.”

“And yet we still have stores. This is why. We knew there was a chance some mission might need to use fuel rather than energy to power its craft. This is that mission.”

“Commander, I’m afraid I cannot give you clearance to enter the disturbance. Not at the moment, at least. You know the regulations.”

Cassian sighed. “Right, right, seven days between active pilot duty.”

“There is one thing I can do, if you wish.”

“Tell me?”

“You may take a small stationary craft to the observation point. Stations do not qualify as actively piloted craft. I can assign you a seventy-two-hour observation mission, which will allow you to be as close to Disturbance AS-2947C as possible without endangering yourself or your craft, and also will allow you to report any noteworthy changes. Acceptable?”

“Accepted, ma’am. Thank you.”

The commodore nodded once. “I’ll get the assignment written up now. Prepare for launch at 1600 hours.”

Cassian snapped a salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Dismissed.”

Four hours later, Cassian’s small observation stationcraft left Earth’s atmosphere, set its destination coordinates, and blinked away into a quantum leap, arriving at the observation point in mere seconds. 

Arrived at destination, the cool, mechanical autopilot voice announced. Artificial gravity effective in sixty seconds.

Cassian sat back, checking his harness. All secure.

Artificial gravity in effect.

Unbuckling, he stood up, pulled off his helmet, and walked to the windows, staring into the fascinating mystery of Disturbance AS-2947C. The irregularity rippled, gently, like he’d seen it do before, taunting him with the possibility of something on the other side. He stood there barely thinking, just marveling at the sight of this enigmatic corner of deep space.

And then the irregularity expanded. And a craft like nothing he’d ever seen flew out.

~

Nesta hadn’t known whether she was sane when she flew into the gap. Hell, she hadn’t known if she was thinking, let alone doing. If wormhole theory meant anything, then she’d expected a moment of terrifying flight through stark blackness that ended in her ship landing in some other, possibly uncharted, part of the universe.

She hadn’t been expecting to see an alien station.

But there it was.

The gap was a tunnel of sorts. And at the other end was a station Nesta didn’t recognize. 

She directed her ship around the foreign station, intending to capture images for examination in her lab. But before she could key in the command to the ship’s cameras, her radio cracked with static. And then someone spoke.

“Who the hell are you?”

Nesta stared at the receiver, then dragged her gaze to the station. Standing in what looked like an observation deck was a man wearing a pressure suit and boots, holding a comm device to his mouth.

“I repeat, who the hell are you?”

“You tell me first. And while you’re at it, what the hell is that station you’re in?”

“It’s a standard observation craft, of course. Unlike whatever alien craft you’re flying.”

“This is a typical exploration ship, you coarse, callous idiot.”

“Like fuck it is.”

“What’s the matter, never seen a woman fly a real ship before?”

“Never seen that particular ship before in my entire life as a pilot. Or in any of my texts.”

“You’re telling me this very real ship I’m flying doesn’t exist?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then--” Nesta’s eyes widened in shock. “Pilot, may I have your name and credentials?”

“Commander Cassian Ilnair, Earth’s space force.”

“Earth’s space force,” Nesta muttered to herself, scanning through her mind for anything related to that name. Nothing. And then it hit her.

“Commander Ilnair, who leads your nation?”

“My nation?” He seemed confused by the word. “Nations melded into a global government centuries ago. President Amarantha currently heads the Global Council.”

A look of wonder crossed Nesta’s face. “It’s true…it’s true. I can’t believe it.”

“Believe what?”

“Commander, my name is Dr. Nesta Archeron. I’m from an alternate Earth.”

The man standing in the unfamiliar station dropped his comm device. And stared.

“Permission to attempt to dock at your station? We have some items to discuss.”

He sat down on the deck floor and picked up his radio. “Granted, if you can.”

Nesta flew a slow lap around the station, noticing two docking ports, both with airlocks that seemed oddly familiar. Hmm, she thought, airlock design is clearly universal. Aiming for the port closer to the observation deck, she carefully guided her ship into the space and sighed in relief when the hatch clicked into place with the station’s airlock. 

“Connect the airlock to my ship, if you would?”

“What’s the magic word, Dr. Archeron?” Nesta swore she could hear his damn smirk.

“Please connect your airlock to my ship so I can explain myself.”

“Of course.”

Less than two minutes later, Nesta heard the familiar hiss of an airlock sealing into place around her ship’s hatch. 

“Clear for exit, Dr. Archeron.”

“Thank you, Commander.”

Nesta placed her tablet and several images into her pack, slung it over her shoulder, released her exit hatch, and swiftly ascended the ladder into the station. The moment her head cleared, she was looking around, mentally cataloguing every detail of the spacecraft. It was basic, functional, only containing living quarters and an observation lab. 

“Whenever you’re done gaping, Doctor, we can talk.”

Nesta turned to face the commander, who was leaning against a wall just outside the airlock. “There is a difference between observing and gaping, pilot, not that you would know.”

A cocky grin crept across his face. “Naturally, I’m just one of the best pilots in the universe, I wouldn’t know.”

“Your universe,” she corrected.

“What?”

“Your universe, Commander Ilnair. Or has your tiny brain already forgotten what I said about being from an alternate universe?”

He shook his head. “Right. Sorry, I’m still trying to process that.”

“As am I. Show me to the lab?”

“Not much to show, but follow me.” He led her down a short hallway onto the observation deck and laboratory, clearly the main space of the station. “Here we are. I believe you mentioned something about explaining yourself?”

“I did.”

He gestured toward her. “Go ahead.”

So she did.

[deepdonutkid]

Can I ask for multiple character break downs?👀

Well if I can, then would you please do one for Ada and one for Tommy and one for John

But if only one has to be done, then you can choose any one of these.

Thanks! <3

Thanks for the ask! 💞

Ada Thorne nee Shelby

How I feel about this character

Just love for her! She is adorable, strong, fierce, absolutely amazing! Ada and Polly are the best developed female character on the show. Mainly, because Tommy can’t fuck them, so they can’t be reduced to his love interest, which is such a good thing, because I love strong women. Makes me weak in my knees.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Freddie Thorne, Ben Younger, Jessie Eden, because Ada is bi, she just gives off that vibe, u know.

Somehow I prefer to read stuff with a female reader for her, more than a male reader for her. Because it’s either Freddie x Ada for me or Ada x female reader.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Lizzie, Polly, Ada and Linda are an amazing combination! She and Tommy have an interesting dynamic as well! I would have loved to see more John and Ada interactions, because they have not such a big age gap inbetween, so I think they are close. Especially after Ada got her child and John got married with Esme. Oh, Ada and Esme would have sooo much fun together. Esme would be like the sister Ada never had.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think her character changed a lot between season 1 and 2, because of Freddie’s death and also after she joined the business again. Sometimes when I make memes or the alignment charts, I have two icons for her, one from first season and one from third season, because I think she is one of the characters who changed the most through the series. First season Ada would do a lot of things different and more naive than third season Ada. Mainly, because she still believed in communism in season 1 and she somehow lost her faith after losing Freddie. Which is super understandable tho.

She acutally becomes wiser with age... unlike her brothers, who just do the same shit over and over again.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wished Ben hadn’t died, because they kill her lovers even fast than Tommys. WTF, right?

On the other hand I wished Ada talked some sense into Jessie, to NOT SLEEP WITH TOMMY THE WHORE SHELBY! Because Ada knows her brother very well and I think she genuinely liked Jessie, or she liked her enough to save her from the pain of being Tommy’s toy or pleasure doll.

And I’m still bitter about the way they killed of Freddie... but more about that later...

Tommy Shelby

How I feel about this character

Relationship status: It’s complicated!

Yes, well, I ramble about Tommy’s shit a lot. I know! He is still an intersting character and it’s so tempting to think about his actions in certain situations, but if I would meet him as a person- I would hate him from the bottom of my heart! <3

He is such an asshole all the time and when I first watched the show, I forgave him a lot he did to his siblings, because I was caught up with his good looks and the presentation of him being the good guy who does bad things to survive. But I spend some time to think about his actions and I noticed, he is an awful human being... to Polly, to his siblings, to his lover and actually to everyone. He might think he does all those mean things to archive a bigger goal, but he is just a gambling addict who can’t stop taking risks he isn’t even prepared for.

Shitty things Tommy has done over time:

Forcing his brother to marry somebody, John didn’t even know at that time, to end a feud, Tommy had started himself and only when it was in his favour to end it, he used John as pawn, so he could archive his plan. HOW FUCKED UP WAS THAT? Nobody seems to talk about this. It was fucking awful! And the way he did it was horrible to! Tommy said nothing to John until the very last moment, when they were already surrounded by enemies, so John couldn’t said no. It also shows, that Tommy thinks he is above his siblings. Tommy thought John wasn’t capable of chosing a wife for himself, so Tommy did that for him too. Even when John didn’t ask for this at all!

Destroying Ada’s relationship with Freddie and chasing his best friend out of town, just because... TOMMY WAS AGAINGST HIS SISTER HAVING A RELATIONSHIP. and yet he proclaimes to listen to woman and to give them a fair change. Maybe just not for our dear Ada!

Destroying Arthur’s marriage, because he kept dragging Arthur into shit, he wasn’t mentally stable enough for. Putting thoughts of rejecting Linda into Arthur’s head, by talking bad about Linda and making jokes about her any given time.

Sleeping with Lizzie over and over again, even when he knew she loved him and when she tried to get over him by dating someone new, he made the order to burn down the pub of Angel, humilated his family, and have him killed later.

Sleeping with Jessie, so he could use her

Humiliate Polly, when she was at her lowest, after Rueben had left her

Drag Michael into the illegal business after Polly begged him not to

Dragging Finn into all this shit after John died, because John wasn’t avaiable anymore

Calling Grace a whore, when they first met

Paying Lizzie in his head, even after she stopped being a sex worker

Helping a fascist

I could go on for a while, but you see my point here!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Nobody! I want to see him miserable and alone! Honestly I’m never going to read all these soft!Tommy fics or whatever, because they really don’t interest me. I don’t want to see him happy.

But go have fun people and write and read whatever you want!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Tommy and Lizzie, because they have a sexual relationship, which is not based on romance and I love this sad and depressing dynamic between them. It’s so interesting to write and read about.

Tommy and Ada are great in the show. I love their talks and Ada actually points out when Tommy is acting like a douche again.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I have a lot... where should I start?

I get so annoyed, when I see Tommy shown as a twink, because the actor is just 1,70m... which is not small to me. I know a lot of men around that height and I think they are average and not small. Also a lot of men feel bad for not being tall enough, because everywhere in our society it’s normal to have a tall man and a small woman. And the way tall man or small man are sexualized in this alpha/omega thing or in a top/bottom dynamic is so... meh. It’s really uncomfortable to see how people try to push the patriarchal man-woman dynamic into same-sex relationships.

Tommy is a class traitor and a horrible husband.

Man, I could rant for hours, but I stop right here. Just remember, please don’t feel attacked, I don’t mean to attack you. Even if you write or draw... whatever with Tommy, I would never say something bad about this. Enjoy creating Tommy content, I will love to ignore it!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I was so disappointed when they killed Freddie, because those two could have had an interesting and compelling relationship. Freddie could have been a great frenemie. I put this here and on on Ada, because their marriage wouldn’t changed the plot as much as Freddies and Tommys friendship. Tommy would have been a way better person, if Freddie was around.

John Shelby

How I feel about this character

MY HUSBAND! I love him and he has never done anything wrong in his life.

Nah, John has many faults, but I still adore him as a character, because his faults are actually making the plot more interesting. I also read, that he and Tommy fight a lot, because John is more moral and has way more integrity than his older brother. It was just hinted in the show, but I love this side fact and I will base my whole characterisation this.

I love to write, draw and read stuff with him. He is my favorite character from Peaky blinders and my love will never die, even though he did.

Funny tho, when I first watched PB, I adored Tommy and was annoyed by John, but as I rewatched it I changed my mind about those two.

He had so much potential and I would spend all my money, which is not much, but the devotions counts, to see a spin-off with just John and his army of children.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Esme, because they are sooo cute together!

My OFC, because I love writing them.

Any reader, because I’m a sucker for John.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

All kinds of interactions with other characters and John are great! My favorite is John and Ada to be honest. But here are other dynamics I adore as well:

John & Polly, (she would help him a lot with the kids)

John & Arthur (they come to the garrison to drink and play cards, they talk a lot about their problems, deep bond here)

John & Tommy (in my head they are always fighting)

John & Lizzie, because they have a great friendship, and they helped each other a lot. She spend time with the kids and he gave her financial support, so she would quit her job, which she didn’t do, because she feared being all alone again, and she has trust issues) (I’m actually writing a fic about these two)

John & his kids (I’m soft for dad!John)

John & Michael (especially in season three, because John seems to be jealous of Michael)

My unpopular opinion about this character

John is not completely stupid. Well, he is certainly not smart, but he works in the betting shop, and Arthur does not, or not really, because Arthur is bad at math... John at least knows his numbers. And also Tommy chose him to be the legal bookie over the others, so John must do a good job there. He just never got a degree or something similar like Michael. Which is also a reason, why John seems to be bitter about Michael joining the business. Michael was put in a higher position than he did.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

This one is obvious... John should have survived.

[drabbles-of-writing]

Okay now you have to tell us what the siblings did to the Blight manor.

SOMEONE ASKED!!

well, first of all, they tear that bitch to the GROUND. it was during the first four years when they raid the place to grab Amity’s stuff and Dip Out. whole family was there while the parents were out at some meeting. came back to rooms on fire and over half of their belongings missing. they fixed it all up, obviously, but it was a HUGE talk for a while.

but what I really meant was when the twins inherited the manor. Something happens to the Blight parents, haven’t decided on if the bitches just died or moved away, and they suddenly own their old home. They rip out anything that has anything to do with their parents, change color schemes, furniture, all that and either chuck it in the trash or the darkest depths of the basement and set it ablaze. Burning the past away motherfuckers. And then, when all that’s done, they change the name. They thought about it for a while and eventually decided on the name; the Raven House. It was a joke between them, and also to tick off Lilith, but the name stuck. They even gave her a tiny picture above the door to solidify it. Eda still insists the Owl House is better than any big manor.

Once everything is finished and the manor is re-made, the ex-Blight’s all come to an agreement on what to do with it, since they all already had their own places and didn’t feel like moving into the house they were abused in. They say a final ‘fuck you’ to their parents and make it one big safehouse. By which I mean it’s like a shelter. Kids or young witches and humans alike (though the humans are just kids wandering by after getting in a fight with a monster or the older graduated kids when they need a little assistance) can come and stay in the Raven House to be safe and secured for however long they need.

Barcus is in charge of the place, and he looks after any kids who come along no matter the background. Some kids only stay for 24 hours, others stay for months, sometimes a few years, on end.  These are typically kids who have nowhere else to go or are on the run. We’ve got kids from the Isles, stowaways from other islands and even The Mainland, kids escaping abusive homes, orphans, kids who just need a break after getting lost/hurt nearby, the works. It’s a well-known place that’s completely free, since the Blight’s and even Lilith on occasion pay the taxes for it. It’s sweet for Barcus because he’s supplied with everything for free, but also hell because he has to deal with a bunch of kids on a daily basis. Luckily for him, he likes kids.

Course some witches or humans don’t understand Barcus, so he always has a chalkboard and chalk around his neck that he can hover in the air with his magic to write to the kids and help them learn how to understand him. If they can’t read, he usually has to call in one of the other kids in the House to help him out. No matter how long a kid stays, they are asked to carve their names on a large stone outside the manor. It used to be a statue in the front lawn the ex-Blight kids knocked over and left there, but it was repurposed. It’s littered with names and it’s not uncommon to find Barcus staring at the names or teaching some kids to read by having them read the names off the stone.

Now, the manor is big. It can easily house multiple packs of kids. But the thing is, it only has 6 bedrooms, and Barcus uses one of the smaller ones. Of course multiple kids could live in the same room, but there are some that need it more than others and aren’t comfortable with other kids. So the bigger bedrooms are saved for those kids (unless there’s an open spare one in which case it gets SWARMED) or Barcus asks the new kid to set up their stuff anywhere in the house, so long it didn’t interfere with others. Which leads to kids sleeping and hanging out in....interesting places. There’s always someone living in one of the bathrooms, three kids minimum at all times squirreling away in the closets (small and large), there’s a pile of pillows and blankets in the second dining room where kids hang out under the table, the big hallways have sleeping bags in them, some kid hid in one of the larger kitchen cabinets just because she could, there are SO MANY in the basement and attic, the library has all the nerds vibing on the bolted-down wall shelves and balconies, and one madlad set up a hut on the roof. Barcus isn’t happy with any of these but he supposes so long they don’t hurt themselves or own up to it being a bad idea later, he’ll deal with it. 

They also offer to send plenty of these kids to school (usually Hexside but sometimes others), but there are a few who refuse it and Barcus homeschools them. The rule of thumb with anyone who stays in the Raven House is that you WILL be smothered in an intense amount of Found Family and you CANNOT stop them. It’s a mad house and it’s glorious. They have their own kinds of memes and vines in that house and it’s law that if someone says “pubby” then EVERYONE in the vicinity has to tackle Barcus in a cuddle pile.

Others of the Owl Family often drop by as well. The first few times were a mess cause Barcus had to explain this was his family and no you don’t have to come down and say hi if you’re uncomfortable but please stop losing it every time Edric comes by we know he’s a fashion extraordinaire please- Camilia is one of the most common visitors, and the kids call her Aunt Camilia (a name she would vividly remember from her time in the human realm) and she teaches them all how to cook and tell them stories from the human realm. Barcus is very thankful because he needs one stable adult to help him with these kids. All the ex-Blights visit as well, though Amity slightly less because she’s so busy. Edric arrives just to show off, and Emira is a lot more refined n checks in on the kids, since her job is a children’s health care worker. Granted, Barcus does a pretty good job of being their therapist, he got a degree for a reason. Amity is a treat visit, because there’s always someone who knows she’s the Empress’s advisor and they all gawk at her for a minute before realizing she’s a shy dork n have fun info dumping on her bc she listens to them with rapt interest. Gus is a fun show, often taking down notes of the theatre kids and showing off his illusion magic, acting as his own little inspiration to them by being one of the best in his grade despite being significantly younger. He also tells his theories of the human realm which are still off and need to be corrected by Camilia. Willow is a lot more sweeter n is like the grandma who gives you too much candy but is also not afraid to beat someones ass. She’s one of the few adults All the kids respect. Luz is fun because she gives adventures and shows off a lot. And kids are always in awe at her tattoos and scars. Of course, Luz still has dumbass ideas every once in a while and ends up getting kicked out early in her visit on occasion. She showed kids how to swallow a light spell. Lilith shows up at least once a month for a little bit, and the kids always LOSE IT. At first it was genuine shock but eventually they just did it for fun because they knew it made Lilith embarrassed. Eda...god Eda is a visit kids are either excited for or dreading, depends if you can put up with her energy. Eda usually shows up when she’s bored, hiding from the cops or needs to steal something from the Raven House. She’s the weird eccentric grandma of everyone and she adores the kids. Her showing up often either ends in something catching on fire or a couple of kids getting in trouble with the law, which Eda or Barcus can easily snatch them out of. Y’all know of the Life Changing Field Trip With Zuko? Eda has a very similar thing where she grabs a gaggle of kids and takes them on an adventure, but it usually ends up looking like chores. Either way it ends up in either giving the kid some Advice they needed or just changing a way they think based on the adventures they get up to. When she gets much older and crankier, she slows down a bit but never stops having bad ideas or advice, but it’s a lot easier for the calmer kids to talk to her.

Barcus keeps all the trinkets the kids give him and holds them in a special room only he can access, like the passageways in Hexside. He cares about all the kids who come to the Raven House, even if its only for a little while. He’s still a dog at heart. A lot of kids he hears from a few months or years after they leave. They’ll call or show up and tell him how they are. And whenever they do he makes time to sit down with them with tea and listen to all they have to say. Even if they only visit once, he’s glad to see them. But, of course, there are the kids he never hears from. The ones who don’t want to, the ones who are too busy, the ones who moved off the Isle and elsewhere, the ones who get lost out there in the world, and the ones who have died. But Barcus almost never learns what their fate was. He’ll have nights where he sits in his room filled with trinkets or by the rock with names and wonder what happened to them, and hoping that they’re okay and happy. But he doesn’t have time to think about that. He has new kids coming in all the time, he should focus on them, not the past. That’s what he tells himself.

[ravireyes]

BASIC INFORMATION.

Full name:  ravi reyes Nickname:  vi, vivi !!! Birthdate:  february 14th, 1992 Age:  28 Zodiac:  aquarius sun, cancer moon, scorpio rising Gender:  nonbinary Pronouns:  he/him/his Romantic orientation:  biromantic Sexual orientation:  bisexual Nationality:  english Ethnicity:  east indian, english Ranking:  virtue Affiliation:  famine

BACKGROUND.

Birthplace:  London, UK Hometown:  London, UK Social Class:  born middle class, currently too rich to even be a class, probably Educational achievements:  a fancy degree in business in a fancy school Father:  dhaval barot Mother:  elizabeth barot Sibling(s):  none Pets:  his pride and joy uriel, the meter-long argentine tegu that he got as a gift Previous relationships:  carman, briefly in college. one particularly serious relationship with [redacted]. countless meaningless flings and one-night-stands before marcus Arrests:  resisting arrest (while drunk) once but it was totally a misunderstanding. three times for sleeping rough, as a minor living on the streets after getting kicked out. has successfully managed to annoy/charm everyone in the station until charges were dropped every time Prison time:  none

OCCUPATION & INCOME.

Current occupation:  virtue at famine / lifestyle influencer / event planner Dream occupation:  living the dream, honestly Past job(s):  anything that paid, from 16 to 23. most notorious have been: attendant at every single chain of fast-food restaurant (he collected them), server at a five-star restaurant in which he made mad tips by flirting with rich old people, a failed attempt at a strip club that lasted one week, 100 bucks made by stick-and-poking at a party once, and selling common household items as if they were precious relics to antique shops Spending habits:  notorious. he likes being pampered, by himself or others. and he loves fashion too much to simply not buy the latest versace collection. also known to buy a lot of great presents In debt?:  no. paid off his uni debt when he married, babey

SKILLS & ABILITIES.

Physical strength: below average / average / above average Speed: below average / average / above average Intelligence: below average / average / above average Accuracy: below average / average / above average Agility: below average / average / above average Stamina: below average / average / above average Teamwork:  it depends. if he has to crawl his way to the top, he's probably an absolute angel about it, will suck up to anyone he has to suck up to. gets the job done. nowadays that he's sitting on top, he's a nuisance, but he still does his part Talents:  adaptable, sociable, overactive imagination, can tie a cherry stem with his tongue Shortcomings:  spoiled nowadays, jealous, easy to anger, can't parallel park to save his life Languages spoken:  english, has hindi as a second language but doesn't speak it anymore, enough spanish to call himself fluent even though he might mess up everything's pronouns Drive?:  yes (debatable) Jump-start a car?:  no Change a flat tyre?:  no Ride a bicycle?:  yes Swim?:  yes Play an instrument?:  dabbled in guitar as a kid, so he knows the basics Play chess?:  yes, terribly Braid hair?:  yes Tie a tie?:  yes, but does he ask marcus to do it every time? also yes. Pick a lock?:  no Cook?:  yes, but he refuses to. still makes a mean grilled cheese, though.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND CHARACTERISTICS.

Faceclaim:  avan jogia Eye colour:  dark brown Hair colour:  black Hair type:  wavy Glasses/contacts?:  no Dominant hand:  right Height:  5'9ft / 1,80m Build:  lean by nature and somewhat toned from doing yoga religiously and training with leon, but not muscular Exercise habits:  yoga every morning and training with leon, not much otherwise Tattoos:  too many to name them all, has his arms covered in various designs, most of his legs, some of his torso; harry styles-esque, not any full sleeves, just a bunch of random small drawings. his favorites are the ones he convinced marcus to stick-and-poke into him: a sun on his arm, a moon on his wrist, and a little peach on his butt! also has a tiny black heart on the side of his finger where his wedding ring sits. plus, any femfam member who wants to have matching tattoos or have stick-and-poked something into him, he would love that, leave your hcs in the notes below Piercings:  both ears pierced. used to have both nipples pierced, got bored of the look eventually and took them out a couple of years ago. got an eyebrow piercing once when he was 18 and that lasted a year Marks/scars:  a brand new scar over his eyebrow now, thank you liam. a handful of other random scars spread over his body, from his reckless youth, and the years as an Angel Clothing style:  chaotic. a lot of expensive brands, more is more, tacky chic. willing to pull more muted looks if he has to. his closet probably has everything from lingerie to full-tailored suits, has a fair amount of skirts and dresses, also partial to a good jumpsuit. so much colour. he'll pull a super masculine look if he can pair it with flashy earrings Jewellery:  more! is! more! always wearing multiple necklaces, bracelets, occasional earrings, usually a bunch of rings on his right hand. his left hand always has only his set of wedding band plus engagement ring. Allergies:  none Diet:  omnivore

PSYCHOLOGY.

MBTI type:  esfp - the entertainer Enneagram type:  seven - the enthusiast Moral Alignment:  chaotic neutral Temperament:  sanguine Element:  fire Emotional stability:  pretty stable nowadays. he's volatile to an extent, always prone to feeling angry or sad at the smallest of things said to him, and lord knows he has a long list of triggers to make that happen, but at the end of the day, he's stable. Introvert or Extrovert?:  extrovert Obsession:  being the hottest person at the grocery store Phobias:  none Drug use:  occasionally weed for recreational use, as a treat Alcohol use:  usually drinks very lightly at big social events, and stays dead sober if he's working, because he is prone to getting Too Drunk otherwise. he's a fun drunk, but the hangover is not worth it. occasionally will let himself get wasted to celebrate something (last time was at his wedding), if he knows marcus is willing to help him get to bed at the end of the night Prone to violence?:  no Prone to crying?:  no Believe in love at first sight?:  yeah and it's probably all he talks about

MANNERISMS.

Accent:  cockney?? turned posh maybe??  Hobbies:  caring for uriel, shopping, crafting hilarious tiktoks Habits:  yoga, being an early riser, walking around the flat naked (not anymore, now that wren is staying over, rip) Nervous ticks:  wrinkling his nose up, putting his hand through his hair, checking his phone Drives/motivations:  making marcus and the rest of the family proud, always Fears:  losing marcus, being alone again Sense of humour?:  sarcasm and chaotic meaningless gen z type of humour, spends too much time on the internet Do they curse often?:  just a fair amount. doesn't bring out the fucks mid-sentence unless he's mad, but occasionally drops the infamous c word like it's nothing

FAVOURITES.

Animal:  argentine tegu since he got one Beverage:  coffee Book:  the malady of death by marguerite duras Colour:  deep red Food:  grilled cheese Flower:  peonies Mode of transportation:  private jet Scent:  marcus and his st. rose's vigilante  Sport:  tennis (for watching. for participating, it's none) Weather:  short shorts weather Vacation destination:  paris ranks pretty damn high after his first paris fashion week in 2018, though anywhere in mexico is also a favourite, for how excited marcus looks when they're there

ATTITUDES.

Greatest dream:  just vibing like this until he dies, honestly, he is living the dream Greatest fear:  finding out that he is, after all, unloveable Most at ease when:  alone with marcus Least as ease when:  talking to people who don't respect him, having to prove himself Biggest achievement:  feeling like he's really a part of the femenias-reyes bunch Biggest regret:  giving his parents the time of day when they reached out a couple of years ago, and thinking they had changed

[glorious-blackout]

Junior Doctor Shenanigans - Preparing for the Second Wave:

I’m now three-quarters of the way through my Geriatrics block, which has ended up being far more interesting than I expected it would be and is fairly chilled all things considered, with the exception of the odd 81-hour week (which is probably bordering on illegal but I doubt our rota administrator cares). One of the main highlights is the interesting cast of characters among our patients. Elderly people are more prone to delirium when they’re unwell and many of our patients already have dementia, which is how you wind up having insults like ‘Bampot!’ screamed at you when you’re wandering along a corridor, or arriving to work to find out that one of the patients tried to set fire to their table overnight. 

One particularly adorable 91-year-old lady was extremely resistant to our attempts to gain IV access despite needing antibiotics through a drip; managing to push us away with a surprising degree of strength while insisting she was currently on an airplane and that we would have to try again later. During one of my turns, she managed to grab my wrist and attempted to break it, though thankfully she wasn’t that strong 😅

There are clear guidelines in place for who the nurses should page in any given situation. FY1s should be paged about non-urgent tasks or unwell patients who are clinically stable, FY2s like myself should be paged if someone is more unwell and needs a senior review, and registrars (the most senior you can be before becoming a consultant) should be paged for very unstable patients who may be approaching a peri-arrest situation. The problem is that nurses don’t like paging seniors, so the poor FY1s get pestered constantly during on-call shifts when they’re already swamped, often about things which are completely out-of-their-depth. On my nights I tried to reduce the risk of this by telling every nurse I could find that if someone was really unwell they should page *me* instead of bothering my FY1, but sure enough my pager remained silent while my poor FY1 had to call me on multiple occasions to pass on the message that someone was really unwell on the other side of the hospital.

Quite a few of us on Geriatrics have moved up from the same district hospital, which has certainly helped ease the terror of settling in to an entirely new environment. I particularly enjoy when there’s a few of us on the same on-call shift and we all meet up for lunch to reminisce about how rogue our old hospital was, while doctors who have only known life in city-hospitals listen on in horror. 

Despite knowing that a second wave of Covid-19 cases was inevitable, I don’t think anything has prepared us for how quickly things would escalate. Two weeks ago there were only rumours of scattered cases around the hospital and it seemed to be fairly well-contained, but now there are wards which are riddled with positive cases and staff are dropping like flies, either due to testing positive themselves or because of sick-contacts. It doesn’t help that my current hospital is nowhere near as good at updating staff on the situation as my old one was - I learned about an outbreak on one of the wards from my mum sharing a newspaper article on Whatsapp long before the hospital decided to email us about it.

On Day Six of a seven-day week, me and my equally exhausted FY1 learned three hours into the shift that two of our juniors had tested positive and that our weekend on-call team (which is fairly sparse to begin with) had to lose two members - including our senior - due to contact-tracing. Thankfully the consultant who was on with us was incredible, managing to organise last-minute weekend cover from equally incredible volunteers while leading a very busy ward-round. However, while waiting for senior cover to arrive, *I* ended up being the unfortunate carrier of the registrar’s page, which felt a little like holding a ticking time-bomb in my pocket. Thankfully it only went off once and I was standing next to the consultant at the time, so my duties were limited to taking a message before passing the phone over with a panicked ‘Help!’ written across my face. 

One patient at the end of that horrid week thoroughly broke my heart to the point where I needed to have a good cry when I got home. She was a 99-year-old lady who was very unwell with a chest infection, and to make matters worse her blood results suggested she’d had a recent heart attack which had been missed (likely due to lack of symptoms). The main indicator of this was her troponin level - a cardiac protein which is released into the bloodstream when the heart muscle is damaged. In our particular labs, levels above 30 are usually a bad sign; this lady’s level was 190,000. It became clear very quickly that she was going to die and that keeping her comfortable was the best option, and because one relative is allowed to visit in these cases, we were able to arrange for her daughter to come and see her. The issue was that her daughter lived 500 miles away and would have to drive up, so needless to say we spent the day on tenterhooks hoping that we wouldn’t have to call her en-route to tell her that she was too late. Thankfully her mum was a remarkable trooper. She remained fairly settled and bright all day, and the look of sheer happiness on her face when her daughter finally walked into the room was so heartbreaking I’m surprised we all managed to resist the temptation to burst into tears.

Most of the patients/staff members I know of who’ve tested positive for Covid-19 either had no symptoms or symptoms you wouldn’t necessarily associate with the Big Three (fever, cough, loss of taste/smell). The main culprits I’ve come across have been headaches, fatigue, gastrointestinal symptoms, delirium, or falls, whereas some patients who develop sudden respiratory symptoms that fit Covid-19 to a tee end up testing negative on the swabs. Which is mildly concerning considering how prone I am to tension headaches and just feeling generally knackered...

Part of me still wonders if I already had Covid during the first wave and lucked out by being asymptomatic, but there definitely seems to be more resignation among medical staff this time around that getting it is inevitable. It’s spreading too quickly and the governmental measures to prevent it seem so flimsy this time around that we’ve just accepted that one day *we’ll* end up being the ones making our rota administrator’s job a nightmare by phoning in sick with a cough. 

I feel I should end on a hopeful note, as one thing that’s become clear is that we’re so much better at dealing with the virus this time around. The hospital put restrictions in place earlier, we’re testing patients (and staff) far more frequently, and we actually have evidence supporting our treatments, whereas before our approach to management was mostly guesswork. One consultant explained that he’d seen a Covid-19 positive patient recently who was very unwell and breathless on admission and would most likely have deteriorated quickly had he presented in March, but showed improvement within a day thanks to Dexamethasone. The thought of a second wave hitting our hospitals sucks and we’re all as sick of this virus as everyone else, but we’re far less terrified of it this time around 😊

That said, if the second wave stops me from being able to rotate to Neonates in December then I swear I’m going to fight the virus with my bare hands... 

[iseleylaura]

3, 7, and 13 (if you’re okay with it) from the ask game?

you’ve chosen two of my favourite numbers 👀👀 (not for the ask game specifically, just numbers in general lol)

let’s see — I’ll take my time answering these since I have nothing better to do atm!

3🌼Are there any fictional characters you relate to/identify with?

Why of course; this is primarily a fanart blog after all ;)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug): Marinette gets SUPER socially awkward, especially around people she finds attractive or is crushing on. If I see an attractive person in public, it’s all over. I guarantee I will make the interaction the most awkward thing. ALSO she is a seamstress! I love sewing, especially cosplay costumes

Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock): Poor bean is just socially and emotionally repressed to the point where he thinks everyone just hates him so he acts aloof as a façade of self-confidence (uhh haha me??). This is how I’ve been like my whole life irl (Internet-me is v different from actual-me). He’s not the best with empathy, and he uses logical reasoning 99% of the time — which is what I innately do too. Both he and I have had to learn how to be compassionate through the very few people we’ve trusted enough to get close. Selfish and unyielding; can’t be bothered to pretend to be interested in something. HATES small talk. Will be rude if necessary. Needy and clingy af from those they want attention from. We also have a hard time recognizing social cues and get very absorbed in our work when we’re passionate about something. Deep down, we’re both just touch-starved biology nerds.

Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle): she sees herself as plain/vanilla, which is something that I’ve been told I am irl multiple times and subsequently, believe too. Basically I’m waiting for my Howl to show up and be like ‘nah bby ily.’ She also gets petty aggressive when things aren’t clean and is definitely a ‘if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself’ kind of person, which — same. She doesn’t suffer fools lightly, and neither do I. BUT she secretly loves to dote on the people she loves, even if they are high maintenance

707 aka Luciel aka Seven aka Saeyoung Choi (Mystic Messenger): Is literally just vibing and memeing all day bro. He has an eccentric sense of humor, which isn’t quite ‘lol rawr xD’ but LIKE it’s the contemporary version of it that only the people of tumblr.com can truly comprehend. He is definitely a geek/weeb and introverted af, but can be loud and outgoing when he wants to be (me me me me). Doesn’t give a FUCK about gender — let’s horde all the styles, fem today, masc tomorrow. I wish he were real, because we’d get along so well. Honestly — he’s my fictional soulmate, and I can’t complain about it, because at least he exists in one form, real or not. :’))

Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club): Is perpetually unimpressed by the caveats of corny rich people. Is easily won over by the promise of good food. Literally so self conscious of her own behaviour in situations that she cannot tell if someone is flirting with her or being genuinely pleasant. Like Sophie, she doesn’t suffer fools lightly — which again, I do not either lmfao. EASILY EMBARRASSED. BOTH LIVING IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF MORTIFICATION. We’re both also academically inclined/rational thinkers, though Haruhi is probably most certainly going to be more financially successful as a lawyer than I’ll ever be making my crafts :))))

Merlin (BBC Merlin): Moody introvert, good with hands, falls in love with the sunshine extrovert type (oh, me?). Ends up doing the entire group project, is never rewarded individually for it. Feels constantly overwhelmed with the burden of existing and feels like no one will ever truly understand or know their true motives/feelings. Has a lot of secrets/thoughts they’d never voice aloud for fear of rejection (or being #cancelled). Feels really lonely a lot of the time, but has friends that enjoy his company. LOVES animals; considers animals easier to get along with than humans — hard agree. Also, dragons — aspec represent.

7🌼Describe your aesthetic in emojis.

✨🌿👒🐇🦔🍄🌞🍓♥️

13🌼What is your home situation like?

It’s stable, and has always been relatively. I know I am very privileged in that way, especially with my parents always having been together. I have siblings. I live in a house. I have a degree. I have resources that allow me to pursue my hobbies. We’ve always been middle class people.

However, the recession from 2008 ish basically signaled the downfall of the industry that both my parents worked for. Since then, my mom has only worked on yearly basis, and it’s never guaranteed if she’ll be hired again after each year. My dad, after a decade long period of laying off people, is somehow one of the surviving staff members at his work, and will likely finally get laid off by the end of the year bc of the pandemic (and the inevitable death of the industry, as mentioned above).

For me personally, I’ve been unimployed since last August. Mainly, this is bc I was in college until last December when I graduated. Since the new year, I’ve literally just been at home doing personal projects since I can’t get a job since I graduated literally when the pandemic started.

Also, I realized that I don’t want a job related to what I majored in (lmfao so cliche). I honestly feel very lost as to how to progress with my life because while I have specific things I want to do and become and accomplish, I feel like the odds of them ever happening is very slim. I know in my heart that I need to do something creatively fulfilling, but it’s really hard to make any sort of living with your art or Etsy or YouTube channel or whatever.

So basically I’ve declared 2020 a dud year; and I’m desperately hoping that I can find a job/career/sense of purpose in 2021 :’))))

Sorry for the long response, but I enjoyed thinking these things through for all of the internet to see yay.

thank you for your asks!💞

[xjmparrish]

august challenge 2020 - task #3 the questionnaire

THE BASICS

• What is your celebrity’s full name?

Janel Meilani Parrish

• Do they have any nicknames? Go by any other names?

J, Janey, Jany, Janelly, Janellybean, Nell, Nellie, Nels, baby J

• What is their birthday?

October 30, 1988

• Where were they born?

Honolulu, HI

• Where were they raised?

Kāne’ohe, HI

• Where in Bayview do they live?

Bayside Retreats

• How long have they lived in town?

On and off since October 2017

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

• What is your celebrity’s general build?

naturally slim athletic

• What is their natural hair color?

medium to dark brown

• If their hair color has changed, what is it now?

currently dark brown with honey caramel balayage, it changes every couple months

• What is your celebrity’s eye color?

light brown

• Do they wear glasses or contacts?

has prescribed glasses she needs to wear more often

• What is your celebrity’s best asset?

Her lips are the subject of discussion on a regular basis

• What is something they’re insecure about?

Her appearance, as an actress she’s spent her career having her face altered regularly

• Do they have any piercings?

10 piercings

• How about tattoos?

near 30 tattoos

• Any prominent scars with good stories behind them?

not prominent but she’s got an old burn on her arm from a hair iron

• Does your celebrity regularly wear make-up?

Yes, though she’s trying not to more and more these days

• What’s their skincare routine like?

intense multi step including falling asleep lathered in all of the night creams

• How does your celebrity dress on the average, every day?

an average day for Janel is some sort of joggers, a tank top, a flannel or hoodie and booties or sneakers

• What about for more dress-up, formal days?

She’s big on pantsuits or a cute mini dress

THE EARLY YEARS

• What was your celebrity like as a child?

She was a very outgoing child who lived for nothing else than theater

• How about the teen years?

She was a wild child in her teen years. The attitude, the sneaking out, the boys, the piercings, the tattoos. She still apologizes to her parents.

• What kind of life did your celebrity have growing up?

Her upbringing was anything but typical. She was a working Broadway actress by 1st grade. Many days were spent working with adults rather than at school with kids her own age.

• What were your celebrity’s goals as a younger person?

Acting has always been Janels love in life. A return to Broadway has always been her goal.

• Is there a smell that reminds them of childhood?

the rain in Honolulu

• How about a favorite movie, TV show or toy?

the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack will always send her back to the day she decided as a 6 year old she wanted to act

• What advice would your celebrity give to their younger self?

Relax. You don’t have to have it all figured out and perfect. Life’s a journey and there’s ups and downs, but you will be okay in the end.

• Did your celebrity play any sports growing up?

Not really a sport, but she danced hula growing up

THE FAMILY TREE

• Who is in their immediate family?

Mama P Joanne, Papa P Mark, sister Melissa

• What’s their extended family like?

She has a significant extended family on her mom’s side, who all live back in Hawai’i. They’re her favorite people.

• What does family mean to your celebrity?

Family is everything, it’s who keeps you grounded and stable in this business.

• Are they close to their family in general?

Extremely. Especially her immediate family as its been just them on the mainland for nearly two decades.

• Who in their family are they closest to?

Her mom and sister! She’s a daddy’s girl but there’s some stuff you can only tell your mom.

• Does your celebrity have any children?

Not at the moment.

• If they do not have children, do they want any someday?

Yes, just not yet.

• If they do have children, do they want more children?

n/a

LOVE AND FRIENDSHIPS

• Is your celebrity currently in a relationship?

Yes

• What is the longest relationship your celebrity has ever been in?

5 years

• If it’s not their current relationship, why did it end?

they’d grown apart

• What’s the shortest relationship your celebrity has ever been in?

2 months

• If it’s not their current relationship, why did it end?

they weren’t on the same page

• Is your celebrity into PDA, or more private?

Janel is all about the more toned down PDA on the regular, but you may catch a full on make out session here and there, especially if she’s had a bit to drink

• How do they display affection to others?

Janel is all about the cute pet names and trying to take care of those she loves, sometimes to an overbearing degree. Also lots of hugs and cheek kisses.

• What is your celebrity’s current sex life like?

More sex than not. They’ve been together less than a year, they’re still pretty obsessed with one another. She’s not complaining. 

• What sort of relationship does your celebrity look for?

A goal in her relationships has always been someone who is equal and understands her job without being threatened or dazzled by it.

• Do they feel happiest when they’re in a relationship, or single?

in a relationship

• Does your celebrity have a best friend?

she has multiple sets of best friends, in Bayview they are Katie and Claire. Or their dogs? All the dogs in town

• What does your celebrity look for in their friendships?

A friend to Janel is someone who can be brutally honest all while comforting you, someone trustworthy.

• Are they the type of person to have a small group of friends, or large?

multiple small groups of friends who rarely mesh

• In friendships, is your celebrity more of the giver or taker?

Taker

• Has your celebrity ever had to end a friendship with someone?

Plenty, publicly

THE THINGS THAT THEY DO

• What does your celebrity do for a living?

television and film actress

• If they could choose any other career, what would it be?

Broadway actress or musical recording artist

• When growing up, what did they want to do?

Broadway

• Do they enjoy their current job?

Yes

• What about hobbies, what do they like to do?

play piano, go to aerial yoga, play with the dogs, sing, cook

• As far as school goes, how far did they take their education?

High school graduate

• If they had to go (back) to school, what would it be for?

Cosmetology

THE FUN STUFF

• Are there phrases or words your celebrity uses a lot?

She curses like a sailor

• Would you say they’re optimistic or pessimistic?

her anxiety makes her pessimistic at times

• How about introverted or extroverted?

claims she’s introverted but thrives around others

• Do they have any really bad habits?

Spending money on things she doesn’t need like designer bags and shoes

• What is something that always makes them laugh?

Her dogs

• And something that always makes them cry?

A Walk to Remember

• How would your celebrity like to be seen by others?

A tough independent cookie who’s made it past all the publicized drama in her life

• And how do they feel others actually see them?

Passionate, sometimes to a fault

• What are some of their strongest (positive) traits?

How strong willed she is

How tough she can be

How much she loves

• What are some of their weakest (negative) traits?

Her addictive personality

Her overthinking everything

How trusting she is

• How do they react when someone pays them a compliment?

She thanks them. She’s not as shy as she was before.

• But how do they react to criticism?

Worried but understanding, lots of nodding

• What is your celebrity’s biggest fear?

Sharks. Also, failure

• Are they more of an indoors or outdoors person?

She’s become more of an outdoor person in recent years, but prefers being indoors.

• What are some of their pet peeves?

Loud chewing or smacking gum

• Are they the type of person to fight with violence or words?

Words, and it’s lethal

• What is your celebrity’s favorite day of the week?

Sunday’s, it’s the easiest day of the week in their household

• Are they more of a book or movie type of person?

Movie

• Is your celebrity more of a hoarder or a minimalist?

Hoarder. Not excessive but her shopaholic nature plays a hand in it.

• How is your celebrity with technology?

She catches on quick!

[general-luce]

Level 30

I turn 30 in a couple of days now, and it has me in my thoughts, especially with this coronavirus going around and my conventions canceled and all that stuff. Long post is long, by the way. 

Also hey @neobrogrippa, thanks for sticking with me so long, fam. 

So how does 30 look?

I’m not seeing anyone romantically.

I have no kids nor any desire to have kids.

I live with my dad (I’d live with my mom but she doesn’t have the space) in a home I will one day own. At this very moment, my dad is finishing up the sanding on some shelves for a library (I was helping him earlier with it and I’ll be staining them soon).

I work in customer service, in a call center.

I owe over 100k in student debt.

I figured out I was bi when I was 29 – yeah, I know.

There are many people who would look at all of this and consider me a failure. I don’t.

Sometime around the age of 25, maybe a little before, maybe a little after, I realized that all I wanted was to be happy. On May 15, 2015, I sent out emails to my professors, telling them I would be discontinuing the program. The response of one professor in particular has stuck with me, for all this time:

“Oh, how I envy you, and wish I had made a similarly wise decision many years ago. If I had I would be living somewhere that made me happy and doing something occupationally that made me even happier. The world is now your oyster; choices are many. Enjoy the freedom of a future with multiple paths ahead of you.”

And of course my train of thoughts get interrupted to go help with sanding!

But from this email, from this moment, I considered what made me happy – and I’m a very simple person. A video game, a book, traveling now and then with my mom or some friends, a good conversation, writing. My academic studies never fulfilled me, nor did the thought of career. I wanted money to do things with. Given, there ARE things I want to learn, but that’s for learning’s sake. Latin, especially. Academia was done with the intent of a job, and that job looked less and less happy.

So I took my Master’s degree and left off the pursuit of a PhD and went into the job market. I now have a stable job, stable hours, increasing pay with benefits. I could live on my own if I wanted, but it’s not wanted. I can invest instead in a house I’m going to own, and help shoulder the burden of bills so that my dad and myself have more money for other pursuits.

I can do cosplay.

I can buy books, games, coffee, and all number of things.

I have savings for trips.

I’ve gotten so much better at taking care of myself - of what I eat, of how I eat, of exercise, of mental stability - just, everything. 

I have found I can weather an emergency of $2k, because I had to.

I was able to go to a Star Wars Celebration, and I do conventions most every year.

If I had continued on the path at 25, things would be very different.

So what is this to say?

In part, this is to say, don’t let other people’s ideas of where you should be, influence you. Everyone has different ideas of what life should look like, and where they want to be, and our original thoughts often need adapting. Mine did. This is also to say it’s not too late to make a change. I know I’m only 30, but making a change at 25 was still terrifying for me, and if I didn’t have my family’s support, I would likely be scrambling a lot more to get a footing – so I know change isn’t always a SAFE option at every time, but I found a time when it was safe, and it was good, for me – and I took it.

I’ve found my happiness in simple things, after 25 years of struggling, and trying to be someone, because everyone said I “was going somewhere”.

And maybe I am, one day. I still hope to be a published writer, but even if I’m not, I’m all right with that.

I have two cats who depend on me.

I have friends who enjoy my insight into life.

I have plenty of small pleasures, and an active imagination.

I have thriving relationships with both of my parents.

I have a work-in-progress library, and a work-in-progress home.

I’m able to help my dad collect donations for an elderly home that took care of his dad (my grandpa). I see the power of kindness begetting kindness from my father, and I try to do the same -  so I am able to give larger tips for service workers. I bring chocolate to those I see often. I get sugar free candy for my diabetic co-worker now and then. 

I am able to bring random deliveries of food to my mom and go see her, and talk to her, more than before. 

I’m looking at getting a new tattoo here soon that is not quite a match, but a way to hold a connection with my brother.

My brother, who found himself at 25 and went to go travel the world through the navy. Maybe we’re both late bloomers.  

I have found my happiness in the 5 years since leaving school behind, and I’ve accepted that I don’t want to be interesting, or earthshattering, or make drastic changes. I’m okay being boring and stable. I’m okay being happy in myself, and I think that’s what I want to say.

At level 30, I want to say: find out how to be happy in yourselves, whenever possible, however possible.

[anistarrose]

Some Sunny Day Bonus Chapter 2: Time Crimes

Summary: Stan is accused of time travel crimes he doesn’t remember committing.

Warnings: none

AO3

Something of an alternate prologue to SSD, set a few months before the events the fic. (Sorry for the long break, by the way! I wrote this a while ago, but kept getting distracted first by other projects, and then later by college.)

***

Stan and Ford were walking away from a local diner, back to the pier where their boat was docked, when the Time Police officers showed up.

“This is the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron! Put your hands where I can see them!” their apparent leader shouted, brandishing a massive laser gun. Her eyes were covered by an intimidating black visor dotted with blinking green lights, and Ford didn’t doubt that she could shoot lasers out of it too if needed.

Slowly, he raised his hands in the air, and begrudgingly, Stan did the same.

“Which one of you is Stanford Pines, and which is Stanley Pines?” the leader barked.

“Depends on which one of them is in trouble,” Stan replied without missing a beat. A few of the time cops snickered.

“You’re both in trouble, but Stanley is in a whole lot more,” the lead officer replied.

“I’m Ford, then,” Stan answered. Ford groaned.

“You know, I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I somehow doubt that,” the officer told them. “In any case, Stanford Pines — whichever one of you he may be — has been charged with one count of assisting the perpetuation of an unregistered stable time loop. That refers to one time loop, mind you, not the number of actions taken to perpetuate it — but it’s still a third-degree time felony, so you’d best be calling your time lawyer!”

Stan gave Ford an accusatory glare. Ford, genuinely clueless, responded with a shrug.

“And Stanley,” the officer went on, “oh Stanley, Stanley, Stanley. Where do I even start?”

As Stan squirmed uncomfortably, she pulled out a sleek black tablet and began to rattle off:

“Time traveling without a permit. Failing to disclose yourself as a time traveler to TPAES officers you interacted with. Actively participating in an unregistered stable time loop spanning multiple decades. One count of causing indirect but intentional harm to your past self, two counts of causing direct harm to a past self or selves, leaving you with a grand total of six time crimes, three of which are first-degree time felonies!���

“Stanley, what the fuck?!” Ford blurted out, grabbing Stan by the shoulders. “I can barely even imagine accomplishing half of this if I tried!”

“I don’t know what she’s talking about!” Stan replied. “Time crime is, like, the only type of crime I haven’t done! You’ve gotta believe me!”

Ford turned back to the officers. “Would you at least give us some details about when and how we allegedly committed these crimes? Do you know if we’ve actually committed them yet, for one thing?”

“No can do,” the lead officer told him. “Details are redacted.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.”

One of the lower-ranking officers whistled.

“You don’t see with just any case,” the leader explained, “so needless to say, you two have really gotten yourself in some deep time shit.”

“Well, that’s some bullshit,” Ford declared. “How do you know you’re not creating a paradox yourself, by throwing us in prison before we can actually do the things you want to arrest us for?”

“You can take it up with Time Baby if you want. My job is just to bring you to time trial — and speaking of which, are you going to come peacefully, or will I have to restrain you?”

Stan elbowed Ford. “These are the same time cops who have the gladiatorial combat for freedom thing, right?” he whispered. “Do you think we could just go along for now, and then win at that later?”

“Probably,” Ford whispered back. “But I’m still trying to figure out what we even did, and why —”

He was interrupted by the lead officer’s tablet as it let out a high-pitched ping, the screen illuminating and bathing the officer’s face in soft pink light.

Stanley and Stanford Pines have henceforth and hencebackwards been pardoned for all time crimes past, present, future, and outside of time itself, the tablet announced in a lilting voice. Please direct all your inquiries to the time and space between time and space, and thank you for your quick correction of any charges placed against the two.

“This — I’ve never seen this happen before!” the officer stammered, holding her tablet at an arm’s length. “Who the hell are you two?”

“We’re Stan and Ford Pines,” Stan replied. “You seemed like you had that down before — what gives?”

The officer passed on the tablet to a nervous-looking subordinate, and retrieved a time tape from her belt.

“If you earned a pardon from a force above Time Baby himself,” she said, “then that can’t be all you are.”

“Wait, what force?” Ford asked. “Who pardoned us?”

But the squadron of time cops had already disappeared, whisked off to who-knows-what century.

***

(Thanks for reading, comments/reblogs are appreciated as always! I’ve kind of been waffling back and forth regarding how canon I want to consider this scene, since I think it would raise Ford’s suspicions much more than they were raised at the beginning of SSD, so to speak — but it’s still very funny to me, and I wanted to put it out there in the world.)

If you’re a fan of my Same Coin Theory stuff, you may also be interested in:

-These headcanons I wrote up, about how Stan knows things he shouldn’t

-This one-shot from earlier this month! It doesn’t have to be interpreted as Same Coin, but it is Stan and Axolotl-centric, and I think it meshes pretty well with the Axolotl’s role in SSD.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, I'm sorry if I bother. English is not my first language, and I hope to be clear. I read that you are a historian. Here, in Mexico, I was studying history, but I discovered that after bachelor's degree, you need at least a master's degree in order to get a job that allows to live. Other factors aside, that put me off quite a bite. I wanted to ask you how that works in your country, if there are job opportunities and things like that. Thank you so much!

First off, you’re not a bother at all, your English is just fine, and I’m happy to help!

As for your questions: ..... ahaha, oof. Up front, I will say that I’ll try to be both supportive and realistic here, since I obviously feel strongly that we need more historians, I myself am a historian, and I don’t want anyone to base their decision solely on what one person on the internet tells them. There are a lot of factors for you to consider, and this is intended to just give you my perspective on how I’ve experienced them. I have answered several other asks about my academic research and career trajectory (such as it presently is....) in my school stuff tag, which you might like to consult to see what else people have asked/I have answered. But I do want to be honest with you about what you might expect, especially in the COVID world, which has turned an already-grim academic job market into... well, one thing at a time. Let’s get started!

I am American, or at least my passport says I am, and I have either studied, done research, or taught (sometimes all three) in the US, the UK, and Europe. I did my PhD at a fairly prestigious large research university in the UK, and I’m currently applying for jobs in that same general sphere (the US and the Anglophone academic world). That, therefore, is the experience that I’m speaking to, though I can imagine there are some things that are more or less the same across the world. Obviously the US is a screaming hellfire nuclear waste dump right now, teetering on the brink of permanent fascism, so.... that’s a cheerful and promising prospect for long-term academic employment in this country, by which I mean it terrifies me. Also, as I have ranted about on many occasions before, the humanities in general have been so systematically, deliberately, and extensively devalued by late-stage capitalism as not being monetarily “worthwhile” that it’s no accident that there aren’t many jobs. This isn’t to say there aren’t ANY, but.... yeah. Nobody wants to become a historian because they think they’re going to get rich for it. They’ll be lucky to get a stable job. My perusal of job boards has all been “online part time adjunct instructor!” which is frankly, brutally depressing. Everything is gig-economy, ad-hoc, temporary-term disposable labor, which is devaluing and destabilizing an entire generation of eager young academics who really WOULD like to be gainfully employed in education and just can’t be, and.... oy.

Ugh. Anyway. I promised I was going to be supportive, so we won’t get too far into the weeds of my existential despair right now. In short: yes, to teach college/university, and possibly the better kind of high school, you will need at least one graduate degree in history, and there’s no getting around that. If you want to do something history-adjacent but not academia, that requirement might be changed. There are plenty of other careers that would value a history degree and the critical thinking, reading, analytical, and big-picture skills that it teaches, assuming that any of us have jobs in the future. You may want to consider if you have enough passion for the subject to do multiple rigorous (and often expensive) advanced degrees in history; if you don’t want to do a master’s, that might be a sign that you like history as a hobby, but don’t want to commit to it professionally. And that is completely fine! it doesn’t make you a failure or mean that you’re any lesser as a person, and if you study history up to the bachelor level and decide that you don’t want to do it anymore, it’s better to know that now than before you’re stuck sinking years of money and effort into something that burns you out and isn’t where you want to be.

I have been honest about the fact of how hard a PhD is (the hardest thing I’ve done in my life) and how dispiriting the post-degree job market is (I realize I have the especial bad fortune to be job-hunting in the plague world, but hooo boy). The basic standard is that you never hear back from anybody at all. Sometimes they send a polite form-letter “your application will not be progressing to the next stage we wish you the best” rejection, but the culture has basically become that they just straight-up ignore you, and I hate it. It’s like screaming into the void over and over. Applications are often multiple pieces of labor-intensive work (CV, cover letters, teaching statement, research proposals, previous courses, contacting people to write letters of reference for you) and to constantly do that and get.... absolutely nothing in return is, again, complete trash on your mental health. Even if you recognize that it’s not really about you and there are a ton of people going through the same experience, it’s not fun. I’m about to submit yet another application, 18 months or so after I first started job hunting, and I have yet to receive even a single request for an interview. Imma be real with you chief: It sucks. You run through the whole “I’m clearly a fraud/an idiot/wildly unqualified compared to everyone else/etc” impostor syndrome highlight reel. And you just kind of have to deal with it, suck it up buttercup, and trudge your ass back to the job board anyway.

Then again: no matter how nihilistic that sounds: there are some jobs, and people do get them. There aren’t many of them, and the competition is therefore intense; every humanities/history postdoc or entry-level professorship opening will probably have a good 50-75 applicants at least, and that’s on the very low end for the more prestigious schemes. My dear @oldshrewsburyian, however, has gone through the exact same grind with early-career researcher hell and temporary visiting jobs, and she did in fact just land a tenure-track position earlier this year, which is wonderful and well-deserved. So: It can happen! I know people who have gotten real academic jobs, in other words! There is hope for the rest of us! Theoretically!

Basically, you’ll need to decide what your appetite is for future study, what kind of positions you might like to apply for and where, what your plan is if that doesn’t work out, if you would be happy doing something history-related but outside academia, if you’re willing to accept that we may not know for several years what the post-COVID job situation is, and all the other major uncertainties right now. I really wish I could give you clarity on these things, but unfortunately, I don’t know myself. Nobody does. So I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Good luck. Hang in there. Let’s hope things get better soon, or at least eventually. Until then, Ave Imperator, etcetera.

[smart-asset]

10 Steps to Reach Financial Stability

Imagine a world where you don’t have to constantly stress about money. You have enough to cover your bills and regular expenses. More than that, how would you like to know that you can afford to live the lifestyle you want to live? These things are all possible when you are financially stable. So what is financial stability and how can you get there? Let's take a look.

What Is Financial Stability?

When you are financially stable, you feel confident with your financial situation. You don’t worry about paying your bills because you know you will have the funds. You are debt free, you have money saved for your future goals and you also have enough saved to cover emergencies. Financial stability isn’t about being rich. In fact, it isn’t a number at all. It's more of a mindset. When you have financial stability, you don’t have to stress about money and you can focus your energy on other parts of your life.

This may sound like a dream, but financial stability is something you can achieve. It will take some time and you will need to put in the work. If you follow these 10 steps though, you can reach your financial dreams.

1.  Make Your Finances Personal

It’s very important to say this right off the bat: your personal finances are personal. That doesn't mean personal in the sense that you can’t talk to anyone about your money. Making your finances personal means focusing on your situation and not worrying about anyone else’s situation.

This is one of the most important things for helping you to reach financial stability. We live in a culture where we constantly compare ourselves to others. We are told that we need to live a certain lifestyle because that’s how successful people live.

Block out all that noise! Forget about keeping up with the Joneses. It doesn’t matter if your friends earn more money than you. The only thing that matters is how much you have and how you can use what you have to reach your goals.

Another important part of this rule is forgetting about the "right way" to do things. Yes, some financial decisions are generally better than others. However, many things in personal finance depend on the person. There isn't one specific method or timetable that's best for everyone.

If you create a savings goal and you miss it, don’t beat yourself up for doing the wrong thing. Just look at what happened. What went well and what didn’t go well? Use that information to improve for next time.

2. Understand That Your Most Important Investment is Yourself

Before you ever think about investing money in the stock market, you should look to invest in yourself. Invest the time, energy and money to teach yourself the skills you need. This includes college degrees. It also includes other knowledge and skills. Learning things that don’t directly relate to your job can sometimes help you just as much as work-related skills. Employers typically want well-rounded employees who can contribute to a company in multiple ways. They also want someone who shows the drive and ambition to improve themselves.

Did your interviewing skills hold you back from getting that dream job? There are classes, books and online resources that you can use to improve for next time. Improving your skills is always a good investment. It opens you up to more opportunities and increases your career-earning potential.

At the same time, your health is vital for your success. One thing that drains a savings account very quickly is medical bills. While you can’t prevent all illnesses, a healthy diet with regular sleep and exercise can go a long way. That also means limiting your stress. Find ways to relax and unwind.

3. Earn Income by Doing Something You Enjoy

The primary way for most people to earn money is through a job. So if you’re thinking about financial stability, the best place to start is with a job that pays you a steady income. Even better is to find a job that you enjoy.

Doing work that you enjoy will make things that much easier. For some people this means changing careers. It could mean changing companies because you don’t like the people or structure at your current company. Maybe the key for you is to get a part-time job and to start freelancing. That may not sound like the conventional way to do things, but your happiness (and sanity) is more important that following convention.

4. Start a Budget

That’s right, budgeting. You’ve most likely heard this advice before. Budgets aren’t as bad as they may sound though. A budget is just a tool to help you spend money on the things you want to spend money on.

First of all, why is a budget important? When you keep a budget, you can track where your money is going. It’s easy to spend more than you should if you don’t actually know how much you’re spending. So more than anything else, a budget helps you keep track of your money.

Once you know how you spend your money, you can make a plan. There are always essential things that you have to spend money on. That could include your rent or mortgage, utility bills, food, car payments or transportation to and from work. These essential things should make up about half of your spending. (Experts generally recommend that your rent/mortgage not make up more than 30% of your monthly spending.)

Then you should try to put 10% to 20% of the remaining money toward your future. That means your retirement account, emergency fund and other savings accounts. Once you do all that, you can live off the remaining money. To make sure you don’t overspend, you might want to figure out how much you should spend each month on common things like eating out or buying clothes. Regardless of exactly what you spend money on, try to spend purposefully. Put your money toward the things that are important to you. Then cut back on the rest.

5. Live Below Your Means

Like creating a budget, this is advice that many people have heard. The trouble is that many of us have a hard time following it. As mentioned in step one (Make Your Finances Personal), we live in a world where we constantly hear about the things that we "should" buy. It’s very easy to spend money on extra things that we don’t need. However, living below your means is key for your long-term financial success. If you regularly spend all of your money, or more money than you make, you can’t expect to grow any savings.

Living below your means works in tandem with budgeting. Your budget tells you how much money you have and can spend each month. Then you can work with that number to make sure you don’t overspend.

6. Create an Emergency Fund

Before you think too much about putting money into retirement or toward your debt, you should work to build an emergency fund.

An emergency fund is a way to protect yourself from the unexpected. There’s always a chance that you lose your job and have to get by for a bit with no regular salary. Maybe you need to make a big car repair or take a trip you hadn’t planned for. An emergency fund will cover some or all of the costs and help you through a tough time. An emergency fund will also ease your mind by giving you a backup plan.

Sometimes people skip an emergency fund in favor of saving for retirement. Then a big expense comes up and they have to pull money from their retirement account in order to cover it. Removing money early from your retirement account should always be a last resort. It detracts from your retirement savings and you’ll probably have to pay penalties. For example, you have to pay a 10% penalty if you make early withdrawals from a 401(k).

7. Pay off Your Debt

Debt will always make it difficult to reach financial stability. Once you know how much you can comfortably spend (through budgeting) and once you have an emergency fund, focus on getting rid of debt. Pay off any credit card debt you may have and avoid future debt on your cards. Have student loans? Make extra payments to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Just because you signed a 10-, 20- or 30-year payment plan doesn't mean you can't pay off your loans sooner. Paying your loans sooner will actually save you money in the long run because you'll pay less in interest.

The only caveat here is a mortgage. If you have a mortgage, you have some time to pay it off. Prioritize all other debts before your mortgage. You should still make all your mortgage payments, but put extra money toward your other debts first. Once you have your other debt paid off and once you have savings for retirement (step eight), then you can focus on paying off your mortgage early (if you want to).

8. Invest for Retirement

When you’re young, it’s hard to think about retirement. Why should you save money for something that’s decades away? Unfortunately, this thinking is why the average American has no retirement savings. If you want to reach financial stability, you also need to plan for the days when you won't have a salary. This is especially true if you have any plans for retirement. Want to travel after you retire? Want to volunteer or take some local classes? Those are all great things, but you can't do them without money.

Prioritize your retirement now and you will thank yourself in the future. Even if you don’t have a lot to save for retirement, start now. Someone who starts early will earn more in the long run thanks to the magic of compound interest.

As you think about saving for retirement, start with your work. Many employers offer a 401(k) or 403(b) plan. Take advantage of those, especially if they offer employer matching. Employer matching is when your employer will match some or all of the contributions you make to your company retirement plan. Not taking advantage of employer matching is like passing up free money.

If your employer doesn’t offer a retirement plan, you can open an individual retirement account (IRA).

9. Make Sure to Have Some Fun

When you focus on saving money or paying off debt, it’s easy to forget about fun. After all, fun like things usually cost money. But don’t get so focused on your money that you forget to live. Enjoying your life will help to keep you happy and healthy.

When you look at how much you can afford to spend each month, try to budget in a certain amount just for fun. Maybe you can get a massage every couple of months or go to a show. Keep on the lookout for cheap and free events too. Go for a hike or invite friends over for a game night. Another great way to have fun is celebrating your financial successes. Did you just pay off one of your credit cards? Try one of these five frugal ways to celebrate your debt successes.

10. Stick With It!

In an ideal world, you would stay within your budget every month. Your car would never need repairs and you would never lose your job. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Unexpected things come up and sometimes you just spend more money than you anticipate. It's OK. It happens to the best of us. Try not to get discouraged when things don't go as planned.

Even when things aren't going well, follow through. Stick with it even if you fall off for weeks, months or years. Don't worry about doing things perfectly. Do your best and try to get just a little better every day.

The Bottom Line

Financial stability is the freedom to live life on your terms without worrying about how you'll pay your next bill. This seems like an unreachable dream for many people but it is very much within your reach. Follow the 10 steps above and you will put yourself on the path to financial security.

One bonus step you could take is to work with a financial advisor. A financial advisor can help you with everything from creating a budget to getting ready for retirement. A matching tool like SmartAsset’s can help you find a person to work with to meet your needs. First you’ll answer a series of questions about your situation and goals. Then the program will narrow down your options from thousands of advisors to up to three financial advisors who suit your needs. You can then read their profiles to learn more about them, interview them on the phone or in person and choose who to work with in the future. This allows you to find a good fit while the program does much of the hard work for you.

Tips for Reaching Financial Security

An emergency fund will provide security when unexpected things come up. Where you keep your emergency fund is a personal decision. Some people keep their emergency fund in their regular savings account. If you decide that you need an emergency fund of $10,000 then you can just make sure there are $10,000 in your savings account that you never touch. It can be tempting to spend that money though. In that case, you could create a separate savings account or open a money market account.

Credit card debt is an everyday struggle for some people. If you have a hard time with overspending, consider using cash. Cash sounds inconvenient in today's world but with cash, you cannot spend more than you have. So if you only want to spend $50 on clothes this week, then carry $50 cash that you can spend on clothes.

Whether your save for retirement through a work plan or an IRA, there are a few things to keep in mind. Investing is the way to build wealth. Investing sounds intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. Choose a portfolio (a mix of stocks, bonds, cash, etc.) that is diverse. That means don't put all of your money into one company's stock or into the stock of five companies that all work in the same industry. The simplest way to diversify is putting your money in an index fund. Index funds, like the S&P 500 index fund, provide instant diversification because they mirror the entire stock market. You can also invest in exchange-traded funds (ETFs). An ETF is similar to an index fund because it is consists of multiple stocks.

Photo credit: ©iStock.com/AleksandarNakic, ©iStock.com/cigdemhizal, ©iStock.com/monkeybusinessimages

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Press: Elizabeth Olsen Opens Up for Who What Wear's September Cover

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Studio Photoshoots > 2019 > Session 006 – Behind the Scenes

  WHAT WHEN WEAR: A loose linen blouse. An untouched plate of madeleines. An empty French bistro in the Valley on a Tuesday at 4 p.m. These are the poised circumstances under which I spend an afternoon attempting to better understand one of Hollywood’s most discreet young celebrities: Elizabeth Olsen.

The 30-year-old actress’s identity doesn’t seem like it would lend itself to much mystery. Since 2014, Olsen has starred as the Scarlet Witch in Marvel’s superhero movie franchise—one of the most-watched film series in entertainment history. (This summer’s Avengers: Endgame quickly became the second-highest-grossing movie of all time.) It’s a role she’ll reprise later with WandaVision, a Disney+ spin-off series about her superhero character coming spring 2021. In the meantime, Olsen executive produces and stars in Sorry for Your Loss, a drama series following Olsen as Leigh, a young widow struggling to deal with the sudden loss of her husband. (The show airs on Facebook Watch, and its second season premieres October 1.) By any objective measure, business is booming for Olsen, the younger sibling of Ashley and Mary-Kate, who long ago reached a level of fame so behemoth they no longer need a last name. The Olsens are as much American royalty as the Kennedys or the Rockefellers. I should know everything about Elizabeth Olsen.

And yet, as soon as she walks through the door of Petit Trois (the setting she chose for our interview) and introduces herself to me, it sinks in how little I do know. “I’m Lizzie,” she says with a jumpy half-hug, half-handshake—though the awkwardness is entirely my fault. I’m caught off guard that the young starlet lives just outside of L.A., around the corner from where she grew up (I would have pegged her for more of a hip Eastside girl), and I never knew she went by the cozy nickname. “Thanks for coming to the Valley,” she says, smiling.

Following behind two heavy-hitting child stars turned esoteric fashion moguls, Olsen, who decided at a young age to pursue a career in acting (and obtained a degree in it from NYU), had prodigious shoes to fill. Her on-screen breakout, a critically lauded lead in the 2011 Sundance hit Martha Marcy May Marlene, suggested that Olsen would be taking a cleverly divergent route from her older sisters—one of a risk-taking indie cinema darling. Some of her filmography still reflects that identity—roles in quirky small-budget dramedies like 2012’s Liberal Arts and 2017’s Ingrid Goes West.

Maybe that’s why, even after all the Marvel movies, which are about as commercial as they come, I still see her in that light. Or maybe it’s Olsen’s enigmatic personal life, almost laissez-faire approach to style (“A combination of suburban mom meets little boy,” is how she describes it), and overall serenity of manner that create the sort of intrigue that independent film girls tend to have.

Her current project, Sorry for Your Loss, certainly has some of that indie energy, simply because Facebook Watch is still a new and unknown content platform. Olsen admits that selling the show to Facebook felt like a scary move in the beginning since most audiences don’t know that watching TV on Facebook is a thing at all. Moving into season two, she’s still figuring out the best way to spread the word to audiences. “There is no precedent, and that can be really challenging,” Olsen emphasizes. Still, there are major pluses to the marriage of television and social media, especially for a show that addresses a topic as personal and underrepresented as grief. “The show living on Facebook has been interesting because of the dialogue people get to have about their own experiences with grief and loss on the platform,” Olsen says.

The actress is looking forward to audiences’ feedback on season two, which finds Leigh “taking big swings, making big mistakes, and trying to figure out the balance.” As Olsen says, “Grief isn’t something that you ever just shut a door on or move forward from. It’s very cyclical.”

Olsen, however, will not be participating in these conversations with fans herself, because—ironically—she’s not on Facebook. She didn’t have a trace of social media presence until 2017. She finally downloaded Instagram shortly after the release of Ingrid Goes West, in which she pulls off playing a very convincing L.A. influencer. In contrast to millennial celebrities who use social media to speak about everything from beauty products to social justice, Olsen doesn’t feel the obligation to be any sort of influencer, politically or otherwise. “If I like blending into a wall, screaming from a stage isn’t something that would help me enjoy my life,” she says. “Sometimes I just don’t want to be part of a conversation because I don’t want anyone looking my way.”

As it turns out, privacy and stability inform everything about Olsen’s life—from how she dresses to the roles she chooses—more than any desire to seem “cool.” She lives in suburbia with her fiancé, musician Robbie Arnett, where she enjoys cooking, eating, and dabbling in interior design. “I love food more than I love anything that has to do with clothes,” she says, starkly contrasting her stylish sisters. (Though the actress is more of a beauty girl—she currently serves as a global ambassador for Bobbi Brown Cosmetics.) Categorizing herself as an “obsessive, detailed perfectionist” beset with a heavy dose of social anxiety, Olsen prefers poring over moldings and wood stains than obsessing over how her body looks in a dress and which angle she should pose in.

Transforming into a character—wearing costumes, acting on camera—puts the performer right at home, but photoshoots and red carpets, which give her no role to disappear into, are a source of great distress. “I don’t like standing out in a crowd,” she tells me just after ordering the dainty plate of madeleines. Our server also named raspberry tarts and pains au chocolat on her list of available pastries, but down to her desserts, off-screen Olsen likes to keep it simple.

“At 30, I feel like I’m finally getting to an age that was meant for my personality,” the actress says with no ounce of irony. “Just domesticated. A homebody.” I introduce her to the term JOMO: the joy of missing out. “Yeah… that,” she confirms. “I never feel bad about not leaving my house.”

Quietude feels inherent to Olsen’s personality, but it’s also something she learned from her family. She tells me her parents have had the same group of 10 friends their whole lives; so have her older sisters. Like other famously private Hollywood families (the Coppolas, the Fondas), the Olsens justifiably keep their circles tiny and exclusive to those with whom they have history—those they can trust. “I don’t have too many friends that I’ve met through work,” Olsen says. “I care about privacy. I don’t have a desire for people to speak about me.” Bottom line: Lizzie Olsen is not particularly interested in fame.

Ultimately, no matter how superhuman she appears on the big screen, Olsen values a fairly normal life: She wants her pastries from Petit Trois, where everybody knows her; she wants her white button-downs and her stable paychecks from Facebook and Marvel (most of which she’s been tucking away in savings to prepare for a family, she says). “Maybe I think about things too rationally, but my career goals are longevity and stamina,” Olsen tells me. “Working steadily, feeling challenged, and just kind of hunkering down for a bit.” One day, that paycheck might come from a less visible job; Olsen says that later in life she’d like to go back to school for a degree in architecture, interior design, or landscaping. “I’m interested in the new science of irrigation and water conservation in California,” she shares. “I could be someone who’s lived multiple lives, multiple careers.”

Before heading out, Olsen packs the six madeleines, which have all gone untouched, in a to-go box for later, when she’s home, to savor in her quiet, happy place. “The next career could be a lot more private,” she says. “Maybe. We shall see.”

Press: Elizabeth Olsen Opens Up for Who What Wear’s September Cover was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen