#very sorry to everyone who saw that
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Y’all ever had a panic attack so bad that you pass out in front of the manager at your new day job and also a full line of customers?
Yeah so I have a Tweek oneshot idea now
#personal?#but also#south park#for reference I started picking up random shifts at a smoothie place and get really fucking overstimulated during a rush#and I’ve been up for far too long#fully Tweaking on caffeine#and this poor sweet 19 year old kid had to HELP ME TO THE BACK#I am so fucking embarrassed#but Tweek oneshot idea tho#fic ideas#very sorry to everyone who saw that#unfortunately I lived#Stan will be in the role of the manager#and Tweek as me#i hate it here
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I love a man who needs to be put in a mental ward but looks angelic being insane
#ff7#final fantasy 7#ffvii#final fantasy vii#sephiroth#was trying really hard to avoid side profile but oh! i can't#and sorry to everyone who saw me draw him clothless twice in a row#not very demure of me!#so embarrassing actually goodness
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I wanted to design my own female Alastor for funsies and put her in clothes she might have worn in the mid 1930s. Once I’d drawn one outfit it was hard to stop. Of course I had to turn them into a catalog page!
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#Alastor#fem!alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel alastor#fem Alastor#female alastor#genderswap#1930s fashion#this is very self indulgent#I just wanted to draw female Alastor in outfits I saw in my mid 1930s sears fashion catalog#and I thought it would be cute to display the designs like they’re from a fashion catalog#combining my current hyperfixation with my love of vintage clothes#heads up girlies a new hyperfixation just dropped!#sorry to everyone who followed me for Trolls things#this show is VERY tonally different#I enjoyed making this so much so if you want more let me know#most outfits and poses are from the book#I just wanna play dress up with my favourite characters
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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A Day in the Life of Jelly, the Whaler Wolfhound
my @dishonoredgiftexchange gift for @exalok, I hope you like my take on a small peek in the life of an old, overly affectionate puppy
you can very much ignore the dialogue
#dh#dishonored#dishonored gift exchange#dishonored whalers#comic#I am so very thoroughly sorry for my handwriting I promise its not on purpose its just how I be#I hope it is enjoyable nonetheless#the dialogue is in alt text in case its too bad or in case tumblr chewed it up and obliterated the quality#special thanks to sin the void-damned for helping me choose a name and enduring my excecssive bitching about the comic#and to everyone who saw this before posting and assured me it works
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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#sorry not sorry#bruce wayne#tim drake#detective chimp#dc#saw some “whos the best detective in the dcu” discourse today#not sure why everyone thinks bruce is just default the best#just cause a couple people call him that from time to time#THIS IS A JOKE#PLEASE DONT COME FOR ME I AM VERY SMALL AND I CRY EASILY#anyways detective chimp supremacy#have a shitty meme!
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What happens when you win the debate on who's the most oppressed group in the transgender community. What happens then. What could be accomplished by finding the one group that is the single most downtrodden demographic that suffers at the hands of every other community and putting them up on the 'most oppressed' throne with a 'most oppressed' trophy that could not be accomplished if we listened and paid attention to individual and group needs and worked to address them without the need to determine 'who has it worst', or worse, 'who actually belongs to the most oppressed group'.
#spitblaze says things#there are times when certain groups will. in fact. be targeted harder than others and its important to uplift and rally around them#and this can be accomplished without turning the whole thing into a pissing contest#i am deliberately keeping this vague because who I'M mad at are the people who think the binarist infighting is any sort of helpful#and if you get into fights over 'okay but x group IS more oppressed' in the notes i will block you#also. btw. the trans community is not a binary of 'my group' and 'everyone else'. its not separate circles#its a big weird messy venn diagram full of people who dont just belong in one circle but might belong in several or all or none of them#any attempt you are going to make at strict categorization WILL fail because language is a very poor tool for determining the definitions#of things as weird and nebulous as 'gender'#sorry lol i have been trying to formulate this post for like an hour after i saw that our-transgender-experiences post#it is not the most perfect and beautiful and nuanced and kind compassionate post ever made. it is a vent post#if you want to read 'stop doing lateral aggression to figure out who has it worst' uncharitably that's on you.#SPITBLAZE SMASH
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met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.
#i tried so hard to be funny and nice but the way they replied to each thing i said made me feel like a scumbag LOL#ive never had that happen before. im very polite when i talk to strangers and i was being very polite then too!#i dont think they even saw it happening in realtime bc they were so calm and even keeled about it#but my god. still thinking about it. absolutely rattled me.#'ur so cool' 'oh its not the olympics. everyones cool. ur cool too' 'haha ur right yet ur still winning' 'hm. its not a competition.'#i was trying to make you laugh im sORRY i was being goofy when i said that i promise i did not say it straight#'you have so many cool tattoos' 'oh ive got a couple tattoo artist friends' 'oh thats so cool. maybe i could get a foot in the door'#like obviously as a joke but they replied gently 'you shouldnt seek friends out just to get something from them.'#NO I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY IT HAPPENS TO ME CONSTANTLY I KNOW TRUST ME#i panicked and was like 'oh haha no i wasnt serious dont worry. im an artist so i know the feeling.' but i guess it came across as like#yknow. bc they just went 'hm.' and pulled out their phone#FUMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so embarrassed#the worst part was id been talking to someone in the back who makes familiar plushies and shed set a few out#so i was talking to them while i was trying to pull up her insta to look up more info about one of the familiars#bc it looked SO FUCKING COOL and i stood there saying that to my husband right in front of them after this legendary fumble#finally pulled up the insta post for it and. they own that one. its theirs. they dressed it like that. i was so fucking embarrassed skdjfks#i wanted to look at the pricetag bc i assumed it was there bc she HADNT sold it yet#god. legendarily embarrassed.
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Cool armored cores... I've always always used reverse joint legs, but Rusty's fake reverse legs are even better... I just love how they look zipping around with their little boosters and chicken legs 🥺
and also one romantic moment 🥰 H-hey Rusty~
#some of this may be drawn later#we'll see~#armored core#caffe personal#my ac is Luna#I was doing Rosy Maple... a pink and yellow one... but the white and green feels very nice for ac6 for whatever reason#That said... my 621 I'm calling the only pink girl on Rubicon#so who can even say#double zimmies are so scrubby and yet the moment I saw them#my heart knew what it needed#and I haven't wanted to use anything different at all looool#I didn't even notice the nerf#double zimmies baby#I added some zimmie love... and hate#love how they look tossing their trash away~#armored core posting#sorry everyone#you have to look at my brainworms
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please. i need alastor with his hair up so we can see the side of his head. second set of ears or smooth flesh prairie?
#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor ears#alastor's flesh fields#bc husk has the ears on top as well#but his head is shaped like a cat and he has all the fur so it works#but alastor is mostly human shaped when he wants to be and his face head is distinctly skinful#so.#like imagine he's uncomfortable or embarrassed by it because it's *yet another* physical difference that#invites the taunts and abuse and humiliation he faced in life (and is thus very sensitive about in afterlife)#he already faces being a PREY animal of all things#so. imagine. he always ALWAYS makes sure his hair covers the side of his head. in his twisted victim mind the lack of ears makes him#Wrong and Disgusting and Untouchable and A Monster (and not in the satisfying fearful way he enjoys)#so he pushes it away. doesnt let anyone learn about his ugly disgusting mutation because surely SURELY if they saw it...#he could lose everything he's worked so hard for. because who would fear him? who would respect him? who would bother looking in his#direction? he would just be another lowlife Freak undeserving of love and attention and— well#thats what he would tell himself. but then one day niffty's doing his hair like he sometimes lets her#and he's just enjoying letting her have her fun. kinda spaced out; mostly just enjoyjng the rare sensation of a touch he doesn't despise#it doesnt even register when she pulls his hair up (maybe into lil space buns or smthn idk) that it leaves his empty face on display for all#i can imagine angel being the most outwardly shocked. some loud exclamation that turns everyones attention to alastor and his earless face#just. everyone staring at him. and he realises. and he hates himself for slipping like that and oh no theyre going to hate him and tell—#— everyone and he will lose all that hes been working towards with the hotel and he is just. So. mortified. think shameful reactions:#averted gaze; flushed cheeks; figeting under their stares; or perhaps the classic deer-in-headlights look as he freezes in shock#just as he feels everything crashing down around him. the others get ahold of themselves and share their reactions too#shock; confusion; endearment (charlie would 100% do a big AWW/want to touch it); reassurances galore when they see him retreat into his mind#they tell him it's normal (he's in hell; no longer a human but a demon; everyone looks odd by some standard)#they tell him it makes sense (he's a deer after all). they tell him his appearance is nothing to be ashamed of and that everyone is still#super intimidated and frightened by him ♡; that it doesnt change anything; that theyre sorry for whatever led him to believe otherwise
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Your thoughts turn to the pain you've inflicted. You shiver.
#degrees of lewdity#dol pc#oc#oomf-in-law got me into something I deeply regret#this was too good for me to not post it publicly though#sorry everyone#I saw a yandere and not only the opportunity to match his freak but to surpass it#and apparently I'm more open minded than I thought#anyway#for the hot girls who get it#I'm doing a sadism run somehow#being a general menace to society and Whitney#ngl I turned the difficulty way down I wanted to have a lot of money lol#even without money issues my guy has Severe Hallucinations it's wild#he's so funny like 5k in his pocket and straight A+s and wandering the streets at midnight bc he's receiving visions#very stressful#I gotta chill with the constant OC art I should've drawn literally anyone HSDJFKL#whatever#hwshln#quince
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Monster with a hundred faces
#Luke castellan#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#my art#AND HERE COMES THE PJO HYPERFIX OUT OF LEFT FIELD BABY!!!!#specifically brainrotting over Luke bc my partner is the ceo of his character#I based my design partially on the tv show but w shorter flatter hair like in the books#I kinda wanna tag this specifically as#the titan’s curse#bc it’s very much inspired by his characterization in that book. manipulating and pulling strings. showing a different face to everyone#I mean that’s kinda his deal in general but the way he interacts w Annabeth and Thalia is so. OUGH.#lying to and using them to the point that Annabeth#the only one who still saw good in him#didn’t trust him and refused to run away#I mentally drew parallels between him and ladon and went a little insane over it sorry#monsters that have been trained for one sole purpose. hurting the ones they used to love in pursuit of it.#killing ppl with poison <3#or. attempting to. Luke didn’t do so well with that
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in-universe "logistics" aside, i think it's good that echo has the permanent scomp arm instead of a hand for like. real-world representation reasons.
in star wars sure they have fully articulated replacement prosthetics but we very much don't have that in real life, and i feel like echo with the scomp is good rep for that. he's one of the most competent characters and i think it's good to show that he can do All That as he is, especially with how irl people with only one hand usually are very capable, even more if they've been living with it for a long time, and very rarely do we see that in media.
like, mark hamill once said he talked to a kid for a make a wish thing who was about to have his arm amputated, and the kid said that he wasn't worried because luke did it too. i think that's important
#tbb#echo#.txt#the bad batch#arc trooper echo#SORRY MUTUALS this has been on my mind since i saw some people being really weird/Actually Ableist about it on twitter back in january and#that post going around just reminded me of it#NOT THAT OP WAS SAYING ANYTHING PARTICULARLY BAD bc like yeah utilitarially a multitool type arm could probably be useful#just imo its nice to have real world rep#also im still taking psychic damage from some of the twitter shit it was like how echo would ''have relief at having a proper hand'' or sth#like um. thats not very ummmm.... thats not really a good thing to say--#with regards to like. a lot of people with limb differences dont feel any particular desire to have a standard limb and a replacement#isnt necessarily the best for everyone or what everyone wants#and acting like all people who dont have standard are all suffering and sad about it is demeaning and patronizing#twitter users when theyve never read about people with limb differences from those people's perspectives#twitter users when theyve never heard of the Lucky Fin Project#sorry for going off agh prosthetics are what i plan on studying & specializing in so i read a lot about this stuff
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I'm sorry but Mike being "rude" or "mean" or "a little bit of jerk" is NOT a valid reason to hate him when characters like Troy or Billy or Angela (or Brenner but he's a whole different breed) exist in the same show ☠️
#did he say some jerk-y things? absolutely#but he also immediately regretted it and tried to make it up to the ppl he hurt bc he actually CARES abt others#(and don't even bring up Max cuz they have a whole different dynamic and it is NOT the same)#and he's also an extremely traumatized teenage boy who shows very common untreated trauma/PTSD symptoms!!#“he may get irritable [or] he may lash out” - literally Owen in s2 abt PTSD symptoms#plus... don't sit there and tell me that you have never snapped or even said something dumb or hurtful to ppl you care abt#EVERYONE is a jerk at least once in their lives whether you want to admit that or not#sorry just needed to vent i saw someone come after s3-4 mike and it got my blood boiling!!!#mike wheeler#mike wheeler defender#mike wheeler defense squad#stranger things#byler#<— target audience#jay's talking ST <3#jay's saying stuff :)#i stand by the fact that if any characters deserve to be mean every once and a while it's literally any of the children in this show#cuz the stuff they have gone through is hard for even adults to deal with let alone young kids/teens
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where did all of you come from
#thank you for all the support on my viktor fics!!!!#sorry to everyone who clicked on my profile expecting more#and then saw that i just wanna fuck him as a big sexy robot#I am only. human#very good though... we need more people to appreciate him...... this is very good
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