#very important to him to look Respectable. yknow

[bonestrouslingbones]

i fixed him.........................

i've been engaging in way too much sonic content lately bc why does he fucking look like shadow the hedgehog to me right now

[jemmo]

i really wanna give podd a round of applause bc he’s managed to make ter a character that i hate so specifically and immensely

[asexualbookbird]

Ah, I read some books in 2024, huh? And eight rereads? Who am I. Tried a lot of new things this year which yay! Go me! Branching out! Not all of those were successes, but I did it and therefore no one can criticise me. But we all know what's important here. So here you go, THE BEST AND WORST OF 2024 (in no particular order)!

THE BEST BOOKS OF 2024

The Adventure of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty - yes, I am still thinking about this, thank you for asking! A full entire adult of a person, a mother even, going on adventures? Fighting and killing and fucking and living? Hell yeah! More of this, please! I would also love to see a prequel of Amina's adventures before the book timeline. Everything about this was so great, I look forward to rereading it.

The City We Became by NK Jemisin - I was wary about this because it was so polarizing to readers. On one hand, even my least favorite Jemisin was still fun, on the other hand, I know nothing about New York. HOWEVER. The audiobook was FABULOUS. I wholeheartedly believe the audio is why I enjoyed this so much. This was FUN this is what reading should feel like all the time.

When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb -FRIEND TO MY SOUL. Again, beautiful audio performance. Beautiful story. I need my own copy so I can reread this to my hearts content. It's cute, it deals with heavy topics, it's gay, it's the friend to my soul.

WORST BOOKS OF 2024

The Novice by Taran Matharu - Ugh. Bought when released, knowing nothing, which seems to be a Theme with books sitting on my shelf I end up not enjoying. Learning about the history of this book made me more angry than the book itself. What do you mean his entire series was bought and published without an editor? It shows, but. Come on. Wattpad born and it shows.

Last Heir to Blackwood Library by Hester Fox- this was only for a summer reading bingo challenge, but come on. There are ways to pull the memory loss, or altered memory plot line and have it work. This did not do that. Wish a library would eat my memories of this book so I never had to think of it again.

Red Sister by Mark Lawrence - Mark Lawrence is one of those authors who writes long books because he thinks it makes him a Good Writer. Mark Lawrence is one of those writers who is afraid to write adult characters because he thinks they won't sell, but continuously puts them in adult situations to show how Hard their lives are and Isn't This Dark And Gritty And Sad without doing the work to actually get there. It toes the line between fantasy in scifi, but not well. It feels more indecisive than anything else.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace -more like fireBROKE MY HEART!!!! It was on my tbr list for years, and I finally found a copy and I'm glad I own it so I can reread it at my leisure. It's what Ready Player One could have been if it was actually good.

Godkiller by Hannah Kaner - Okay honestly, this and City were fighting for a spot in the main top three. Either could be there. I do honorable mentions for this very reason. I was surprised to learn this was a tiktok book, because yknow. It's actually Good. Witcher vibes, but with more respect towards women. Why isn't book three in my possession right this second.

Someone You Can Build A Nest In by John Wiswell - I Am Normal About This Book. It was fun to read and annotate it for a friend. It was fun to be around as two friends read it and I loved seeing their reactions to it. Loved cheering on Shesheshen, still think she deserves to eat more people. Friends and I will still share biting goop memes with the caption "Shex3 posting". It's safe to say this has rewritten my brain.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Legacy of Ash by Matthew Ward - I was hyped about this book before release. I bought book two before even reading this because I was that sure I'd enjoy it. What a fool. This did NOT have to be 800 pages. It was another example of someone writing many words because they think that's what Good Writers Do, and not stopping to think about what those words even SAY. Which, in this case, was ~Absolutely Nothing~

Ghost Station by SA Barnes - crying sobbing this book was so fucking stupid. Best thing to come out of it was seeing a friend read it and confirming that yes, it was That Fucking Stupid. Learning the author mainly writes YA Paranormal explained why everyone had Too Stupid To Live disease.

I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons by Peter S Beagle - Admittedly only here to make things even and because it's still pretty fresh in my mind. I was soooo excited when this was announced, and now I'm soooo happy I didn't preorder it. More boring than anything else, but I don't wish it was longer because it already felt Too Long.

Once again, ignored rereads because I feel like that's cheating somehow. Let these be for highlighting new and fun books I discovered! I feel like the last few Bricks I've read have been Very Bad so I hope a couple of the bricks I have planned for 2025 are actually good. Considering one of those is Labyrinth's Heart, I think we're okay.

[invinciblerodent]

While I'm on the topic of being hopelessly in my feelings about these characters, I just finished the last part of the Gloom Howler quest, and I'm thinking about Davrin and names at the moment.

I really, really love how, once we learn the truth about her, Davrin seems to make a point of always referring to Isseya by her name (mostly on its own, but sometimes in conjunction with calling her "The Gloom Howler" when necessary), and even correcting others who would refer to her only by the latter name. (Which, honestly, both Solas and the Inquisitor could also talk at length about a title that all but replaces your name- it definitely feels significant that Davrin would pointedly reject the thought of doing that to someone, but I digress.)

And that reminded me of how I previously made an idle, kind of shitposty little post about how nice I found that during his recruitment mission, Davrin calls out the specific names of each griffon if you interact with their cages, and he attempts to comfort them like that- by reminding them who they are, that he's there, and promising that he'll be back for them.

In retrospect, I think that's so interesting, how his core story seems to boil in part down to... well, in part to the burden of duty, the questioning of tradition and authority (he questions both Dalish- and Warden traditions from very early on, one by joining the Wardens and the other by joining Rook) and, yes, living past what one thought to be their purpose, but also... to these moments, that invite some contrasting of his elven-, and his Grey Warden identities.

Isseya being an elven Warden is a very direct parallel, and a very clear image- it, I think, is meant to show what happens when authority goes unquestioned, and one side (the Warden) triumphs over the other (the person). His uncle then acts as a counterpoint and a thread of connection to the past- he shows what happens when tradition goes unquestioned, and while peaceful, how that existence is not one Davrin wishes for himself.

This all comes to a head in the final choice concerning the griffons... which, I can't say what a "correct" choice is, but I find it really cool how one option embraces a more rigid tradition and acts as a vow for reforms within them, honoring them, while the other embraces a different tradition, one born of fluidity, choice, and change- a more personal freedom.

Purpose and nature, respect for the past and hope for the future, all strain against each other sometimes (in multiple companions' stories, I feel), and it's often a name that represents the complicated harmony between two halves.

Be that Assan, noble descendant of a hero Warden's griffon wearing an Elvish name, Isseya, the monster and mage brought to peace, the idea of "turlum", harmony and understanding forged between vastly different minds, or just... Davrin, the Dalish Grey Warden, who is not more one than the other.

Maybe that's why calling people (and animals, and feelings) by their proper names seems so casually important to him. Because if you give something complex, messy, and muddled up a name, it's easier to just live it.

(.......... and yeah, that makes it a bit ironic how so far he's been calling Rook, "Rook", but, yknow, technological limitations. I've a feeling I've at least one important scene to go still, but honestly, the name "Rook" does also kind of represent a similarly complex matrix of ideas condensed into a person. It could be that "Rook" feels more accurate than any "friend", or "love", or "boss", or even "vhenan", for what they are to him, or it could be that he's still looking for the right name, but either way, I'm looking forward to seeing how it all ends.)

[nrdmssgs]

can you write something with reader and gromsko and how gromsko would treat her if she was his wife? i’ve heard some seriously questionable things about polish people from my boyfriend, he could be biased but from what i know they are super misogynistic and gromsko gives off traditional vibes yknow.

Masterlist

Wow, that is a very interesting request, actually!

First of all, I am very sorry, that your boyfriend had bad experience with Polish people and I really hope, that things get better. My very first work was in a Polish company, and I've met the sweetest, nicest people there. There was literally one issue - I was young, tiny and underweight, and they all felt sorry about that and constantly tried to feed me.)) So the reason I'm telling this here is to highlight, that there are so many different people in every country.

I don't have anything against authors, who chose to depict him as very traditional (in a negative way) person. It is always important to not forget, such people exist. But I want to offer you a slightly different approach to him. Let's just call it an experiment and see, if it works both for you and me, ok? We will keep this guy traditional more or less, but shift him to a non-toxic side.

Husband Gromsko HCs

Long before the marriage, he takes you with him on a trip across Poland to meet his relatives. Won't stop until you meet everyone. Grannies, aunties, nieces - everyone. You are about to become part of his family and it's important to him, that you are truly integrated in the family and shown love from every single part of it.

He asks his parents to bless your marriage, and definitely asks your parents to let him make a proposal to you. It is not that he is dependent - he was raised in a culture, where respect to elderly is everything.

Regardless of how devout he and you are (even if you are an atheist), Gromskо will persuade you to a traditional wedding ceremony.

If you do not belong to any church or are simply a representative of another faith, he will not rest until he persuades the priest of his native church to allow you two to marry.

Yes, this guy will start to fight for your marriage long before it even starts. He doesn't try to force you into faith though. If needed - he is ready to pray for you both. Because you are his love and Sobieslaw has enough faith to keep you in Gods good books.

Once you are his, truly and finally his - Sobieslaws mind is all concentrated on two objectives: domesticating you and welcoming children in your family.

His biggest fear is to fail you. And in his mind, keeping you on your work equals failing you. If you worry about money - it means to Gromsko, that he doesn't provide well enough.

It will take a lot of talking to change his mind. But eventually he will understand. No matter, what he is taught to believe - you, his wife, love of his life, come first. Always. If you are 100% sure, this is the way, you want to live - he will support your choice to keep your work.

He wants children. Not a single child - children. It will break his heart, if you are not in the same boat with him on that one. He won't push you too hard, won't give ultimatums - but he will constantly try to bring the similar wish into your mind.

He is a 'look how adorable these little ones', 'look how tiny this baby beanie is' type of guy. Watches his friends kids on the playground, while embracing you lovingly and whispering 'they are sweet, but our little treasure would be the sweetest'.

If you are as enthusiastic as he is, and you get pregnant - prepare to meet doctor Gromsko. He won't leave your side, not for a day, even if it affects his career. Who gives a f**k about work stuff, when the most important person out there prepares to gift him the second most important person in his life?

He will monitor you constantly, take you to every single check up, make sure you get all the essential vitamins, have enough of fresh air daily and NO stress.

Will welcome his child with tears, will cover your face with frantic, desperate kisses afterwards. "Dziękuję kochanie... dziękuję, dziękuję,dziękuję*!"

Gromsko loves it, when everybody knows, that you are his and he is yours. So please, if you take off your wedding ring for any reason - wear it on a chain as a necklace. Otherwise, he will be terrified, that it is a sign, you don't want him by your side anymore.

He is constantly worried, you might get sick, so he makes sure, you are always warm, you eat well (no matter what your body type is, his granny will still call you too thin, so Sobieslaw will worry about that), you get health checkups every now and then (even if you are feeling perfect!!!).

The most supporting guy, if you decide for any reason, that you don't want to work actively and choose to stay at home.

Gromsko won't just settle with 'ok, good, now I finally have a stay at home wifey'. He will make sure, you like every part of your home, have enough time and space for your hobbies, feel safe and loved.

By the way, the guy looks like the 'I'll build our house on my own' type. Who, if not him, knows better, what makes an ideal home for you and him? Of course, you can choose all the decorations, materials and so on. But he is the one, doing the building.

Dziękuję kochanie… dziękuję, dziękuję,dziękuję - Thank you, love... thank you, thank you, thank you.

[quitefair]

Anyway. Aro and Ace Resources upon ye.

Since we're almost at 2024, and coming out of all this horrendous aphobic discourse, I thought I'd put together a bunch of aromantic + asexual resources for people who are maybe questioning themselves, or want to know more (heck yes for learning!) Most of these are long form (Youtube videos/articles) because that's how I feel is best for learning, compared to shorter form content like TikTok.

Long post, resources under the cut!

Yasmin Benoit (she/her, aromantic asexual)

The first asexual activist I stumbled across all those years ago. She was infamously the reason for a lot of aphobic comments on twitter, because hey, she's also a lingerie model, and lord forbid somebody who identifies as asexual present... yknow. Sexy.

She's also a researcher, who's putting in the effort to depathologise asexuality and aromanticism, especially within psychiatry and mental health.

Youtube

Instagram

Website

Ace Dad Advice (they/them, asexual/agender/queer)

AceDad is one of my favourite a-spec activists. Their simple, easily digestible posts on Instagram outlining the various aspects of asexuality, aromanticism and agender (the triple As lmao) are a comfort to read. There's also lots of affirming stuff on there that's helped me with my own spiraling thoughts.

They've also written a book about asexuality! Which is one that I've yet to read, but am looking forward to.

Youtube

Instagram

Website

Spacey Aces

A collective of neurodivergent a-spec humans making videos on asexuality, aromanticism, queer platonic relationships, neurodivergence... a whole lotta fun stuff! Their videos are soft and comforting and very affirming.

Youtube

Instagram

Nik Hampshire (he/him, aromantic)

So Nik doesn't make Youtube videos anymore, but he's done a series on what it means to be aromantic but not asexual, which I feel is super important to add to the online conversation! This one's for all the allo/aros out there, he's chill and confident and talks about things in a very enthusiastic way. Love him!

Youtube

Instagram

~~~~~~~

Misc videos (I'm sure you've seen these around before)

Jayden Animation's coming out video

Being AroAce Doesn't Ruin Your Life | Alice Oseman's Loveless by shaggyjebus

Rowan Ellis' interview with Alice Oseman (author of Heartstopper, who is herself aroace)

Anthony Padilla

I spent a day with asexual people

I spent a day with aromantic people

(the titles are a little clickbaity, but trust me the conversation is honest and respectful. anthony is honestly such a good interviewer.)

The Sci Guys

Science of Asexuality

Science of Aromantics

bmudangel

My experience being Aromantic Asexual (AROACE)

I’m Happy To Be Aromantic Asexual

How being aromantic asexual affects my daily life

Questions Aromantic Asexuals Get Asked (Part 1)

[pokegalla]

I can’t believe I did a whole series for this but did NOT do one for my small chested people- 🥲 so thank you for the idea. This one is for you!

Request by @bloodofvoidx

How Touchy Can They Be In Public With a Small Chested S/o!

Dream:

* ……Listen I know yall love Dream but he has no room to talk shit about small chests when his Ecto is just as small- then again he would never. He’ll always find you beautiful! …..but he does feel a little relieved. Maybe even less insecure…

* Shopping for your size is tough too! Especially certain outfits. Seriously you just want one outfit where your boob actually fills the area. But it’s even funnier when Dream tries on outfits with you, having the same problem as he’s trying to help you. At least you get a laugh in together!

* In private he LOVES teasing your chest. Giving it lots of butterfly kisses and praising it. He really loves how beautiful you look. Oh but if you EVER feel negative about your chest? Oh honey he’s gonna spoil you and praise you until your head spins! And oh trust me it will not change if things decided to escalate~

* In public, he respects your space but that doesn’t stop him from whispering sweet words in your ears. “Yknow I saw this adorable lacy nightgown…it’s a little see through but I’m sure you’d look adorable in it…~” Sly lil guy-

* It’s hard to resist seeing how red your face can get✨

Blue:

* He is not an innocent guy- a sweetheart. But not innocent. And hell yes he loves all types of chests. And yours will never be an exception-

* His hugs never change but his nuzzles are WAY more obvious and deliberate. God forbid you wear an outfit with a low cut down your chest. He’d sneak so many glances. And if you are comfortable with it (always important to make sure S/o is comfortable 😔✨) he’ll wrap an arm around your shoulders and let a hand stay near your chest. Just gently caressing you lovingly.

* In private he is much more comfortable to simply nuzzle into your shirt. Quite literally I mean. Bro would duck into your shirt just to be closer to you. Smooching your torso and face. He can’t help it! You are so adorable! And he thinks your chest is the epitome of adorableness✨ he does get a little carried away though….dont be surprised if he leaves a few playful marks~

* He’s a very honest guy. So much so that he’s a little too blunt. Now normally it’s not a big deal as it’s actually a little refreshing. That is until he says some shit like this “Yknow last night you looked really cute in that bra! I almost wanted to keep it on while we-“ you had to cover his mouth. You love him but man he is comfortable around you.

* Then again he makes you comfortable too. And that’s what matters most!

Ink:

* Here this lil shit goes. You already know what you signed up for with this guy- don’t get me wrong. He can be sweet. But he’s still a big gremlin (other then his height-)

* He’s not afraid to touch your chest in public. The problem is with smaller chests, it’s a bit….harder to reach. So he’d try to hug you from behind, reaching around you to the front….and he has to be on his toes just to reach. Safe to say that embarrassed him more than you. Even funnier if he misses and you tease him. He might be deterred now but he’ll keep trying!

* At least in private it’s easier. Looser clothing, laying and sitting down, he can always have free access✨ though sometimes the little shit is like “Well why don’t you just walk around without a shirt? It’s not like it would make a difference-“ please smack him. He is teasing though. He just wants an excuse to see your pretty chest✨

* Other than teases, he’s actually very silver tongued. Would give you the sweetest compliment then throw in a suggestive comment as he leans in close….just to gently flick at your chest and run. This childish little man-

* Oh well. He’s certainly your childish little man. Better run after him before he gets away!

Killer:

* You thought he was gonna change and NOT be the worse one?! This is a true man of culture here. Size truly does not matter to this man. As long as he can INDULGE✨

* His menace like ways will actually double with a small chest. Trailing his finger down the middle, not quite doing anything bad but that smirk just screaming out what he really wants. Even does a little flick at the nip if you decided to wear no bra. You are not escaping that guy’s gaze-

* In private he is just more chill and more bold- when cuddling he just squishes them like squish balls. His excuse is simply that they fit perfectly in his hands and are perfect stress relievers. You can’t complain with the science ok? 😔✨ besides I doubt you are complaining when he decides to give you a little reward right after~

* And his teasing is despicable- he’s a bold guy. He genuinely gives no fucks. The moment he’s in the mood, he’s already getting you into the mood. Even worse if you have an easy access shirt- you guys end up having to sneak away. “Heh….i knew you couldn’t resist it cutie~ now be good and stay quiet for me~” still evil-

* But at least he has his sweet moments too! He can’t help but love everything about you after all! You’re irresistible to him!

[funnywormz]

I think this shitshow with Toshiro stems from the trend of people INSISTING that interpersonal conflict must be a moral failing. Like I think there's something to be said about how people afford so much less patience to people who are autistic in the "wrong" ways, but also Laios and Toshiro just clash on a fundamental level that has nothing to do with that. Hell, you could read Toshiro as autistic as well. People related to Laios' side of the argument but instead of getting any nuance out of it they started projecting their experiences with ableist people onto Toshiro.

AGREE AGREE AGREE. i think that Fandom Brain gets people very used to thinking of conflicts in terms of "who is the bad guy and who is the good guy", so when they encounter a more nuanced conflict they don't really know what to do. i don't think toshiro is a bad person at all, in his conflict with laios he's just exhausted and starving and has been pushed to the limit and from his perspective, laios doesn't even seem that emotionally affected by the situation. i don't think what he said was right and it was pretty cruel, but i don't think he's a villain or deserves to be permanently hated as a character just bc he fucked up this time lol

also yeah you could definitely read him as autistic, and i think that highlights an issue in the autistic community in general bc like....... a lot of autistic people have conflicting needs which can lead to conflict between them/make them unable to stand being around each other. and it's not because either of them are neurotypical or bad people, they're just incompatible. like autistic people who loudly stim vocally and autistic people who meltdown when they have to be around loud noises, for example. it doesn't mean either of them is bad or not autistic, just that they have conflicting needs

i 100% agree with the last part too. i disliked toshiro at first myself bc i had been (and still do ngl) projecting onto laios hard and the conflict they had reminded me of times when people have been mean or angry at me irl for social blunders i've made unintentionally, or when someone i thought liked me/was my friend turned out to actually hate me. it's a common experience for autistic people and that scene resonates with that! but i think it also helps to take a step back from projecting our own traumatic experiences onto the scene and just look at it objectively. laios isn't perfect either and he's the one who actually starts the physical fight by slapping toshiro (i feel like i don't see many people mention this lol). i feel super bad for him in that scene but he's not a perfect victim and has done things wrong himself too

as an autistic person i've also been in situations where i can relate to toshiro too lol, like where someone is overly physically and emotionally familiar with me when we don't know each other well and i've wanted them to back off but haven't been sure how to say it without hurting their feelings. this kind of conflict is far from just being a "neurotypical vs neurodivergent" thing as a lot of people portray it in the fandom

idk i just wish people would think a little more deeply about the scene and put their own emotions and experiences aside to instead consider the conflict with the added context of the individual characters and their respective cultures + the situation they're in. people don't have to like toshiro but i wish they wouldn't paint him as a villain or make up awful shit about him just to justify their feelings when he isn't even that bad of a dude in canon yknow 😑. also we literally see him at rock bottom struggling and freaking out and i think that's important to remember. in a different context i doubt he would have ever said those things to laios

[ultimategenshintournament]

Ultimate Ship Tournament: Round 2

Propaganda below cut

Ayatitto (submitted 3 times):

ok so I'm kinda coming at this from a queerplatonic angle but hear me out. They're Bros. they hang out together regularly and play games. now Ayato is a very busy, stifled, emotionally repressed, and kind of sadistic person. so why on EARTH would be hang out with Itto to just play games? he doesn't even like, torment him or anything. HENCE!! this is where I posit that Ayato ENJOYS spending time with itto because he ENVIES him, he envies how carefree and happy and playful and ignorant he is, he envies how he can just...be. and when Ayato is with Itto, he gets to feel a bit of that too. he's not the head of the kamisato clan, he's not an important figure in the tri-commission, he's just My Bro Ayato. it gives him the relief to just exist. itto on the other hand experiences so many hardships, people harass and attack him just for existing in a way that is obviously queer (in race, in neurotype, in orientation....(though i HC him aroace)). he's relieved just to have a non-child companion who seems to respect him and play with him and hang around him for who he is, not for who the law wants him to be. i posit that, similar to how Ayato feels accepted in a way that lets him shed his family crest and weight of responsibility by Itto, itto feels accepted in a way that lets him wear his horns with pride. because itto's unabashed ADHD and oni heritage and love for his hobbies is exactly what is ATTRACTIVE about him to Ayato in the first place. there are only like 200 fics for these guys on AO3 the last time I checked. i feel so strongly about them. does anyone see my vision. please

i just think their dynamic is neat! rather than balancing each other out, they just feed into each other's personal form of chaos and yknow what. Good For Them

Xiaoven (submitted 3 times):

THE YEARNING. Xiao's true dream is to find freedom but he still feels bound to his contract with Rex Lapis because technically he Did free him from his previous master so therefore his current duties are technically a form of freedom so to look for another form would be a betrayal and then we have the god of freedom who would probably never initiate for fear of issues with consent but probably also just wants to be seen as himself and not just a god and. yeah

It's sunshine x grumpy character I rest my case.

[nightcolorz]

HI CUTIE PIE ARMANDTOLOGIST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I have a question and it’s really important

Does Armand like Dr Pepper yes or no

(But also actually thoughts on the way they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show? Cuz now he’s kinda like musical Armand and ik you love that guy real, I JUST WANT UR THOUGHTS)

HI BELOVED HUSBAND LOML SECOND IN COMMAND ARMANDOLOGIST 😍😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thus is an amazing question….Armand loves doctor pepper and he has a crippling addiction to it (I know this bcus he told me). The fizzy texture makes him tweak out like cats do when they go crazy randomly and his eyes go huge and dilated and he rolls around wildly for like ten minutes straight 🥰

My thoughts on how they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show is that I LOVE IT!! 🙏🙏so so true so true I love musical Armand he is so funny and real, that is such a good comparison. What I love about musical armand is that in making armand a very visible explicit adult while keeping his backstory relatively the same they kind of lean into this alternate reality where by growing up Armand sort of experienced living “past his prime” and was turned in less of a preservation of his beauty and youth (🤢) and more of in a panicked, pathetic last ditch move, which rlly kind of hammers home the sad kicked dog vibe he has ❤️. Like, I love the thematic value of Armand being an eternal child so much. It’s just so so sad and effective, picturing him as this visible child who is yknow, torturing and killing ppl and leading cults, and even owning property and running businesses, but no matter what he is doing he is always displaying this very apparent physical reminder of his stunted growth and his trauma, that will always be anyone’s first impression of him, that causes him active inconveniences and insecurities. He’s a physical embodiment of the most vulnerable time in his life, trying despite it to gain respect and instill fear. He’s like a child ghost!! I love how his stunted growth manifests as a disability, I love how he is often perceived as a girl bcus of his appearance which adds a trans layer, i love how when Armand’s sad he appears for a moment like the child who was abused, I love love love it.

And that version of Armand will always be my favorite, but I still LOVE the way in the show (and musical before her) is doing it. Back on the topic of the musical, while I don’t think it can carry the same layer of tragedy and depth as the books, the musical frames Armand in a way that’s very upsetting in a different way. He’s like, very pathetic 😭. This grown ass man still stuck in time as a “beautiful youth”, longing for the man who sexually abused him when he was fifteen, stuck in the mindset of the child he was, looking for his past in everything he does and everyone he meets. It’s different, but still carry’s that tragic weight 😭. But the musical wasn’t interested (or maybe didn’t have the time) in exploring that tragedy in any depth, so Armand’s pathetic past his prime vibe is framed more as almost comedically embarrassing then sad. And on the note of the show!!!!! What I love so so much about show Armand’s backstory changes is that they take what the musical was putting down but didn’t have time for and explore it with all the weight it needs, and it’s SO GOOD!!!

Armand as not of a literal external youth but instead a metaphorical one, a technical adult who was kept as a slave and treated as a child for his entire adulthood until he was eventually thrust into vampirism and subsequently abandoned, so he carry’s this internal stunting, is AMAZING. He was raised in a way that instilled in him and prevented him from ever being a functioning, independent person, and then forced into roles of dire leadership and horrible loneliness. In one of my fics I compare him to a pampered lap dog who’s been abandoned on the streets. Amc Armand reminds me of the song memory from cats, which has always reminded me of Armand but hits harder in this version. He’s so 😭😭 abandoned elderly cat who is longing for his past (which for Armand was super shitty, but remains the only time he was loved) and just looking to experience that love and comfort again 😭. The “love and comfort” that was sexual and physical abuse and literal enslavement 😭. It’s so sad.

I love that amc iwtv doesn’t necessarily change Armand’s backstory of being sold into slavery, but rlly hammers home in the details that he was and continued to be a slave. The racial element is just, ugh, omg, so mf good. They take Armand’s trauma in the books of being deprived of his cultural background by being sold into slavery and bought by Marius, and basically cut off from his religious beliefs and made to feel alienated from religion bcus of his sexual trauma, and by making Armand a person of color rlly elevate that in a super sad super meaningful way. I also love how they add little horrific traumas to rlly instill that Armand was a slave to Marius, that he was his property. Rlly sad!!! 😭 I love it.

the only thing that I don’t like about the changes in Armand’s backstory (which r not a lot, and r mostly based in Assad zaman’s casting whom I love as Armand, they stay surprisingly faithful to the books) Is the thing where Armand’s parents (apparently) willingly sold him into slavery. Part of the huge tragedy with Armand being sold and loosing himself to that is that his parents were not perfect, and not especially good to him, but they loved him so so much, and he looses his memory and connection to two parents who love and miss him, and are devastated by loosing him. Which even tho it’s technically a better reality for Armand then, he had parents who betrayed him, it hits sm harder imo. But, I don’t resent the writers for that bcus I have a theory that I think it’s very likely that the reality of the books is true, and Armand believes that his parents sold him bcus that was a lie Marius fed him to ease his own guilt about keeping Armand from his family so that he can sexually abuse him. If my theory is wrong, and Armand’s parents rlly did sell him, I will be disappointed and wish they stayed more faithful to the books, but I won’t be super mad cuz I love everything else they r doing so much, and it doesn’t retract from that too much.

On the subject of amc and musical Armand comparisons, I hope the show adapts/ takes inspo from a change that the musical made that I love a lot and think could rlly rlly work in the show. In the musical, during the scene where Armand throws Lestat off the tower, Lestat pushes Armand into doing this by mockingly telling him that Marius is alive and has not only chosen to not reconnect with armand bcus he’s not as important to him as Armand perceives, but also he has told Lestat how Armand was a mistake and he should have never made him bcus Marius thinks he’s crazy and beyond hope. And musical armand screams at Lestat that he’s lying, shouts HE LOVED ME!!! And pushes lestat off the tower, bcus he refuses to accept the reality of his fucked up relationship with Marius. Which, dude, I literally love that change in the musical sm and almost wish it was in the books. I sometimes forget that in the books Armand finds out Marius is alive from Lestats book offscreen and we don’t see his immediate reaction at all, just his reaction to reuniting with Marius after already processing that he’s alive. I RLLY HOPE that amc iwtv takes this change the musical made and elevates it, bcus I am the only guy who talks about it and I need everyone else to care 😭. It would translate so perfectly in the show amc pls hire me.

THWNK U SM FOR THE ASK BBY I LOVE THESE QUESTIONS I LOVE YAPPING!!! ILY

[smoothbrainstuff]

Hunter got the least amount of votes for my Slugcat design poll, so they're actually up first!! Because I'm a sneaky guy like that

I didn't really go into the design with many ideas, I kinda just started drawing shit and hoping I'd like something. One thing I know I wanted for sure was a leg brace equivalent!! So I made them out of king vulture spears and pole plants, the pole plant naturally clings to the skin and keeps the "brace" part tight

Character thoughts under the cut

I interpret the Hunter as sort of a mixed figure. They don't just kill stuff for survival, that'd make them too similar to.. yknow.. Survivor. So instead I see them sorta doing it for fun, while still somewhat respecting nature and not overdoing it (unlike Artificer). They do it in a way to prove themselves, or to try and prove themself to No Significant Harassment, since we can see by their ascension ending they care deeply about him in some way. Beyond their skill of hunting I imagine them being very reserved and distant, they aren't a wild figure, they're very sick with a very important mission, in truth it takes a toll on them. They don't want to die and they don't have enough time to see the beauty of nature, because delivering the key to Looks to the Moon is their directive. The Hunter to me is the most tragic of the Slugcats because they never had a choice in anything. Their only endings include giving into the void forever, or becoming a monster for someone else to slay

[phopollo]

*getting on my hands and knees* Please I would love to know more about your fairytail rewrite, I have also just decided to do a rewatch of it and I am dying for more content/more people to talk about it with (also i love your designs so far and especially the focus on my girl Juvia... would love to know your ideas for both ex phantom lord guys actually)

AKFNWKG OMG HI YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME

GAJEEL & JUVIA MEAN SO MUCH TO ME, BOTH INDIVIDUALLY AND AS A DUO, AND I WAS SO SAD ABOUT HOW THEYRE TREATED IN CANON (especially Juvia,,, she was my favorite, but she got done so dirty when they stopped allowing her to he her own character outside of loving Gray,,,) SO IM ELATED YOU WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM, BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT THEM SO MUCH

So!!

I'll start with them as a duo

While members of Phantom Lord, none of the Element 4 were really like.... friends per say, but Gajeel and Juvia had the closest thing to being like........ friendly coworkers of all the relationships among them. Juvia was kind of the only one Gajeel really respected, and Juvia recognized thar Gajeel treated her with as much respect as he could, so she reciprocated (think like,,, verbally acknowledging each other as they passed in the halls, but calling each other by last name)

After joining Fairy Tail, in the immediate aftermath, everyone was still a little cautious of them for understandable reasons. So they kind if unintentionally cling to each other, because..... yknow. They're the only ones not giving each other the side eye, so it doesn't feel like they have to claw through a wall of tension to just hold a simple conversation

The turning point for them into actual friendship is when people start to give them more of a chance! In particular, on a day that Fairy Tail is getting A Bit Rowdy(tm) in the guild hall, and Gajeel turns around, expecting Juvia to have his back, and shes.... she's not there........... and now that he thinks about it, it's been a bit rainy today............... so he gets a little worried and goes looking for her, only to find her hiding in the bathroom because she got a bit overwhelmed and overstimulated because she's never had so many people approach and try to talk to her all at once and never been involved in a brawl like that that wasn't an actual like, fight, and she just...... she needs a minute. So. Gajeel sits with her a bit, because. Yknow. It wouldn't be worth it to go out there and pick fights with everyone and have fun if she's not also going to. It's just not as fun

They get a little awkward sitting there in silence and Gajeel gets antsy. He looks at himself in the mirror, and then down at Juvia and her perfectly styled hair. He goes "Hey wanna help me wash my hair?" And she kind of. Stares at him for a few seconds.

(Bonus doodles of when I was initially thinking about this but never planned to post bc my hand writing is ILLEGIBLE)

So Gajeel takes care of his hair now (very important about him and his character and the change in his hair style between Phantom Lord and Fairy Tail)

And after that, they accidentally become Natsu-And-Lucy-But-Cool-Tones

And they're very silly, and I love them very much

Whoops, that on its own was a little longer than I intended, but I'll still go into them individually too

Gajeel;

His insecurity about falling behind the other dragon slayers is a little more prevelant-- he just kind of always feels like he has something to prove

An important part of the Rewrite to me is thst there's the opportunity for characters who didn't really seem to interact as much get the opportunity to, so I'll also put out there thst Gajeel forms pretty tight bonds with Wendy, Erza, team Shadow Gear as a whole not just Levy, and the Strauss siblings

I don't think he really knows what he actually likes to do in his free time. He kind of just tags along with other people doing things they like to do

He's roughly very similar to how he was in canon. A lot of the work I've done on him has been more just smoothing out the edges and adjusting his behavior to reflect the people I've declared him the closest to

Juvia;

It's so important to me that she gets to be a character outside of being in love with Gray. She does still have a crush on him, and she's not super subtle about it, but she's also like.... she's capable of being a normal person around and about him. They are genuinely friends above anything else

She had no idea how to talk to anyone. Cana and Mirajane were lowkey her saviors when it came to learning how to interact with other people and not be a complete freak, so she's super tight with them in particular

In canon, we were shown both thst she made her own Teru Teru Bozus, and that she knit Gray a scarf once. There's also a couple other things we're shown that its never explicitly state she made them, but I feel like the implication is there. So I'm taking those and running with them-- I'm making her a really crafty person, and she loves and takes a lot of comfort in doing things like sewing, knitting, and crocheting, and that's something she notably does in her free time-- especially since she doesn't just do them for the sake of doing them, she almost always makes something for someone (got a little drawing about this incoming actually)

We only really got to know the bare minimum of Juvia's backstory-- that her parents are dead, she was taken in by her uncle who did his best to help her and her rain problem by seeking out water and ice wizards, and then he also died while seeking help for her-- so I've expanded on it a little and made some minor changes! Longest story short; her father died in a workplace accident before she was born, and her mother died during child birth, which is what lead to her being taken in by her uncle. As much as he loved her and was doing his best with her, he also kind of always resented her and blamed her for the death of his sister (her mom) even though it really was not her fault. Juvia sort of always recognized this, but also as a traumatized child, blamed herself, which lead to the intensifying of the rain around her as she got older and understood things better. That's when her uncle started looking for other water wizards and ice wizards to try and help stop the rain. He went out one day to meet with one, and he never came back. Juvia doesn't know if something happened or if the resentment finally built of too much and he just up and left, and that's something she's never going to get closure on. It definitely still plagues the back of her mind and affects the way she acts now, even if she thinks she's moved past that point in her life.

Woah

That was a lot, sorry akfbskd

I hope this was at least some of what you wanted to hear about them!!

[arbitrarycategories]

Hey would you mind sharing what the real point of jekyll and hyde is that Hollywood missed? I have never read the book

You just made my night actually THANK YOU

Long so it’s under a cut :)

(you should totally read the book, it’s not super long and it’s actually really good)

okay tw murder and suicide and like. Violence I guess. It’s a psychological thriller from the Victorian era idk what y’all expect

Alright here’s the part where I admit I’ve never seen a Jekyll and Hyde movie but I HAVE seen various iterations of him in pop culture monster movies where he’s some quirky background character yknow?? The pop culture idea of this guy is kind of wild

First things first!!! Pop culture would have you believe that Dr. Jekyll has a wife or a girlfriend or some shit that Mr. Hyde wants to ravage or cheat on or whatever!! This is false because the only female characters in the entire book are a little girl who gets trampled to establish how Evil Hyde Is and a woman who calls the cops after witnessing a murder as she took a smoke break on a balcony. Neither one of them even has a name :) this is a book with NO BITCHES okay??? There’s barely even any men

Important Character round up!

Mr. Utterson the Lawyer (most of the book is from his viewpoint)

Dr. Lanyon (a friend to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Utterson)

Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (respected Chemist/criminal)

Poole the butler <3

And that’s IT.

Okay there’s also some parliament guy who gets murdered but like whatever. He’s just there to get killed. Bye.

So a very basic plot synopsis is that Mr. Utterson is the guy in charge of Dr. Jekyll’s Will. Because of this he happens to be sort-of-friends with Jekyll because neither of them really have many friends. They’re also both friends with Dr. Lanyon.

Mr. Utterson first becomes aware of Mr. Hyde as a person who exists when a friend (unimportant) of his tells him about this guy who trampled a little girl. Obviously this is fucked up, but the friend has more to the story. Bystanders didn’t let this guy just trample a little girl, they demanded compensation so that she could pay a doctor to help her. Hyde went to a door (which the friend points out bc he and Utterson are on a walk) and makes out a check under the name of Jekyll. And so Utterson is like. Huh what

He goes home and looks at Jekyll’s Will, and Hyde is the guy set to get all his stuff if Jekyll disappears!! And so Utterson is like well that doesn’t make sense for MY friend the Extremely Respected Chemist. So naturally he’s curious and goes poking in that polite Victorian way.

It turns out Hyde lives in Soho but is a FREQUENT visitor to Jekyll’s house, has a key and all the servants know him etc. nobody knows how he and Jekyll met and they’re all a little afraid to ask.

And then there’s a year long timeskip actually. Utterson asked and Jekyll said “yeah don’t worry about it :)” and then we just skip a year.

We come back because Mr parliament gets MURDERED in what seems to be a crime of passion by a certain Mr. Hyde. Like the fact that the guy killed was in parliament was a complete coincidence. I keep meaning to look up the guys name to see if he was a real guy who was just really hated or something but I never get around to it. Anyway. Hyde beats him to death with his cane.

OH YEAH. Break hang on.

HERES THE OTHER THING HOLLYWOOD FUCKS UP THAT I ALMOST FORGOT!!! Hyde is not Hulk!!! He’s not big he has no muscles he’s literally an itty bitty guy!! He’s described as “particularly small”, “little man”, “of small stature”. He’s tiny!!! Truly exemplifying that short people are closer to the devil etc whatever he’s itty bitty and super fucking mean like the worlds worst chihuahua given human form.

Alright back to PLOT

The police recognize Hyde pretty much from the witness description of him, and Utterson is like “well that’s easy I Know Where He Lives” but they can’t find him even though his neighbors all sell him out and they literally go to his place in Soho.

So Utterson goes to ask his good friend Jekyll, who he knows is close with Hyde, where the fuck his buddy is!!! And Jekyll is having like a full on nervous breakdown at this point. Jekyll swears that he’s “done with” Hyde and “he will never more be heard of”. He’s sweating and shaking and generally looking like he’s on drugs or something.

Hyde conveniently left a letter to Jekyll (wow!!) that basically said he had fled the country and thanks for being his friend this whole time :) Utterson has a lil convo with Jekyll where he becomes convinced that since all of Jekyll’s stuff went to Hyde if he disappeared that Hyde was planning to murder Jekyll but the heat from killing a member of parliament had scared him off so Jekyll is safe now. If what Utterson thought was happening was what was ACTUALLY happening this would probably be where the story ends. But NO. First bc Utterson hired a guy to analyze the handwriting on the letter from Hyde to Jekyll and the guy (literally named Mr. Guest) was like “yeah this is Jekyll writing with a different slant idk who he’s fooling” and so Utterson is now convinced that Jekyll is covering for Hyde for some reason

And SECOND because jekyll starts acting like a crazy person. Poole the butler shows up at Utterson’s house one day like “hey my boss is freaking me out and also his voice changed?? I think Hyde is living in his room and pretending to be jekyll”

So naturally they bust into his locked room with an axe. Like you do. It’s not his bedroom it’s like his chemistry room idk they just call it his cabinet but it’s Clearly Some Kind of Lab. Anyway they find Hyde’s dead body on the floor <3 he has pretty explicitly killed himself with cyanide.

They also find a couple letters, which make up the rest of the book.

The first one is from Dr. Lanyon (remember Lanyon?). Lanyon writes all about how Jekyll started acting like a crazy person and had him deliver a drawer (like, pulled out of a dresser and full of chemicals) from Jekyll’s cabinet to Hyde, who Lanyon has never met. The description is this part is actually really good, you can tell it’s Hyde who shows up to meet Lanyon even though it never says his name. This is the part where he mixes the chemicals like the worlds worst smoothie and then fucking Shapeshifts back into Jekyll right in front of Lanyon :) why did he Do this. At this point in the story we are hearing this from Lanyon’s letter instead of Lanyon himself because Lanyon fucking Died when it was still Uttersons pov and didn’t tell anyone what he had learned?? He thought nobody would believe him ig but he tells Utterson he has had a shock and will die within a few weeks and then he literally Does. Like what the fuck man.

The next letter is from Jekyll!! It is a confession of how exactly Hyde came to be AND WHY.

Look me in the eyes. THIS IS THE PART POP CULTURE GETS COMPLETELY WRONG!!!!!!

Jekyll, being a well respected Member of Society, wanted to expunge himself of all evil desires by splitting himself into two people, one who is good and one who is evil. He manages to make a chemical potion of some kind that lets him shift between two bodies. Here’s where the text will get you: Jekyll is an unreliable narrator.

IT DOESNT WORK!!!!! He claims that Hyde immediately felt more evil but was shocked when he switched back to Jekyll and didn’t feel any different than before. Jekyll is still just as good and JUST AS EVIL as before he downed his magic shapeshifting potion!! Jekyll didn’t invent a second, more evil form, he invented a mask he could hide behind that let him escape all accountability for his actions.

And you know the most damning proof?? The switch has started happening without him drinking the potion. He will go to sleep as Jekyll and wake up as Hyde, and it’s taking more and more doses to turn back into Jekyll. At the time he writes the letter, he is permanently stuck as Hyde, but the letter is from JEKYLL and laments the guilt he feels for actions done as Hyde. He condemns Hyde as if that IS a separate person!! But Hyde has the same mind and should that Jekyll does, just a different face, and Jekyll is lying to himself.

Anyway that’s what happens in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It’s all about this lawyer dealing with the most Batshit series of events a client has ever made him deal with <3

[toxifoxx]

YESS YES FAT WILLIAM!! HES CANONICALLY FAT IN THE BOOKS PRE-SPRINGTRAP! HE IS DESCRIBED AS HAVING A SANTA CLAUS BODY TYPE MAKE HIM FAT!!!!! The reason he looks so skinny post-springtrap incident is because people often lose a lot of weight when recovering from serious injuries and diseases, with medications causing low appetite, low energy to get out of bed to prepare food, sometimes painful to eat depending on the injury -- which goes double for William with, yknow, *punctures in his neck* that would make swallowing quite painful. Skinny William is intentionally supposed to look like a shell of his former fat self. That's why Dave wasn't immediately recognizable as William, because William is described as this fat, friendly, charming Santa-Claus-like guy, not this shriveled, off-putting shell of a man. So I really really appreciate when people draw pre-springtrap William as fat, because fatness is supposed to indicate a better time in his life, when he was happy(er) and healthy! Living life without pain!

Sorry for rambling so much, fat William is something I'm really passionate about

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO THIS ASK

ive drawn my william as fat for a while now but i was hesitant to fully commit >.> these days its almost the only way i can draw him!! and yeah, exactly, he would lose a lot of weight from his injuries, and the neck punctures would definitely be a problem… and the man's in awful pain so he doesn't have much of an appetite!! uncertain if any of his organs woulda got pierced - actually hold on i was looking for the spot in the books where he was talking about lungs filling up with blood and he just straight up says 'you'll feel your organs punctured'. so theres another problem with eating.

im really passionate about fat william as well!! and i do really, genuinely think it suits his pre-murders character sooooo much better. not only is he healthy and happy, but he's meant to look inviting. cause he is! it makes sense why everyone in hurricane would trust him and be reluctant to believe he committed the murders! and i think it makes for a very important contrast to when he goes off the deep end. he's not himself anymore! and it shows, visually!

i hope some day more people draw him fat, and treat him being fat with respect. i find it interesting how many people (mostly talking twitter users :grimace:) are so quick to cite the books as part of the lore, yet conveniently all ignore the part about how william was a fat man, and balk whenever someone actually draws him as such…

thank you for rambling in my inbox :3

[aeternallis]

Porsche & Chay's Brotherhood in KinnPorsche the Series

Brotherhood and familial relationships are one of the most prominent themes in KP, as we all know.

And personally, I think one of the most fascinating and important deviations that BOC had chosen to take with their adaptation of the novel is having Porsche and Chay drift apart by the end of the story (despite that ending shot of them both hugging their Mama). By having them drift apart, their respective love stories with Kinn and Kim stands on a firmer note. They basically pulled a P&P 2005, which—although a disheartening thing to see—is one that I think was definitely a good choice, as it fits appropriately with KP’s narrative as a whole.

To provide some context, in the novel, Porsche is aware for the most part of Kim and Chay’s growing bond once it's introduced in the story. He doesn’t know the details, and neither Kim nor Chay are really forthcoming about their relationship to their older brothers (which BOC does keep somewhat in the show), but there is some awareness of it in the latter’s part. For Kinn specifically, it’s even a point of contention once or twice, since in being aware of Kim and Chay’s relationship (and knowing his brother’s personality), inevitably he worries about how their relationship would affect his relationship with Porsche. Like in the show, Porsche is understandably protective of Chay, and doesn’t want him getting involved any more than he has to.

Because of Porsche's awareness from the beginning, this allows for them to grow even closer as brothers near the finale of the story, since they both sympathize with each other’s frustrations of what it's like to be romantically involved with a Theerapanyakul, as well as how their respective relationships are perceived by outsiders.

For example, this exchange (Porsche’s POV) between Athee and the brothers when they run into him in their old house:

It’s made a point in the novel that Porsche and Chay’s relationship with their respective Theerapanyakul both follow the same trajectory (with a few differences, ofc), besides the fact that pretty much Kinn and Kim fell for the same personality traits and characteristics that the Kittisawasd brothers share. Lol

But in all seriousness, because they have a better understanding of each other due to how their respective romantic relationships have influenced them, they’re more in sync with how they make decisions together regarding their own family.

There’s a scene in the book (Porsche's POV) where Porsche accidentally cuts himself on his foot when he confronts Kinn in anger, once he finds out about Korn’s involvement in his parents’ deaths. He marches straight into Kim’s room and intends to take Chay away, but not before Chay helps him bandage up the cut and calms him down.

They share this poignant conversation, specifically about Chay’s relationship to Kim:

It's a very heartfelt exchange, because Porsche understands he has to take into account his own brother's relationship with Kim, that his actions and decisions also affects his little brother, besides the fact that Chay genuinely looks up to Porsche and sees him as his hero. In doing so, he also acknowledges Chay's maturity, and respects him in that regard, thus allowing for them to become a stronger unit together as brothers, one that's infinitely stronger than what the Theerapanyakul brothers have.

But the show—while keeping loyal to the same character dynamics for both relationships—turns this on its head entirely, and makes it so that Porsche is completely unaware of Chay's relationship to Kim. In making it so that Porsche is unaware, not only is he blindsided by how he protects and parents Chay (case in point: episode 14, bar fight scene), Porchay himself deliberately keeps him in the dark.

In turn, you get a somewhat heartbreaking exchange between the two of them, like this scene in episode 12 when Porsche tells Chay that he no longer has to go back to the compound (yknow, like a liar XD):

At first, Chay's line is supposed to come off as comforting for his older brother, but what goes unsaid rings just as loudly if not more than what he actually says to Porsche: "I don't need to know everything, right?" Just as you don't have to know everything and what I've been through recently.

Which brings me back to my original thesis: Porsche and Chay drift apart by the end of the show; BOC sacrifices their strong brotherly bond from the beginning, but in turn elevates both brothers’ romantic relationships to stand stronger within the narrative. We won’t ever get to know how well KimChay’s love story could have stood out against the other two had it followed a similar trajectory to KinnPorsche, but I will say that I’m of the firm opinion that KimChay’s original storyline in the show heavily contributed to Jeff and Barcode’s chemistry with each other.

In the show, Chay’s maturity is highlighted in the fact that perhaps for the first time in his life, he deliberately chooses not to involve Porsche in an aspect of his life, a big part of which no doubt, he probably wouldn’t want or know how to explain to his older brother in the first place. This is further compounded by the fact that it was partly due to Porsche’s absence that Chay had latched onto Kim as he did. Chay is a character who has a deep sense of self, and choosing not to involve Porsche in trying to figure out what to do with Kim superbly demonstrates the emotional complexity of his character, despite his young age.

It’s why it makes perfect sense that in the final episode, these two scenes are back-to-back, highlighting the rift between both brothers: we're shown how Chay is conflicted and sobbing about his feelings in light of Kim sending him the song, yet right after, the audience sees how Porsche has no hesitation in pledging his life to Kinn ("My entire life is all yours"), thereby effectively leaving Chay wide open and ready for the taking to the wolf (Kim).

It's almost sinister, to be quite frank, how BOC really did take that step in breaking the Kittisawasd brothers apart. Welp~

Chay is all too aware of the inevitability of change that will come in his life, including his relationship with his brother, as a result of Porsche's choices to join the mafia. Porsche too is very much aware deep down, hence his subsequent actions of downplaying his reasons and trying to maintain the status quo, aka falling back into the genuine affection he has for Chay, like he does in these two scenes, rather than properly explaining himself:

In both of these scenes, Porsche struggles to maintain eye contact with Chay, because he knows somewhere inside of himself that falling back and reiterating his love for Chay won't change the fact that his choice to stay in the mafia was as entirely selfish as it was selfless. Chay calls him out on the hypocrisy of his behavior, and he questions Porsche directly: "Was it really all for me? If it was really all for me, then why didn't you consider how I feel?"

After the kidnapping incident, both Porsche and Kim have a desire to maintain the status quo with Chay. This is shown by how Porsche falls back to voicing his love out loud to Chay as a way to avoid having to explain himself, and Kim by not sticking around outside the warehouse after he got Chay out, so he also wouldn't have to explain himself.

But whereas Porsche gets to successfully keep that illusion because his younger brother allowed it and gives it to him, Kim doesn't get to have the same. Chay doesn't give Kim the same consideration as he does with his brother, understandably so. Thus, the uncomplicated, free-of-misgivings sort of perception Chay had towards Kim quickly crumbles.

As a direct consequence, in the show, the one whom witnesses Chay's struggles of coming into his own as a result of being dragged into the world of the mafia is not Porsche, but Kim; it's Kim who finds out that Chay bailed on his interview at university, it's Kim who sees Chay rebel and partying and drinking, it's Kim who realizes how much danger Chay is still in, despite being away from the compound and the coup by the minor family.

And finally, per my thesis with my deep dive of the bar fight scene in episode 14, in the end it's Kim who's further drawing Chay in towards the world of the mafia and the underbelly of Bangkok.

Because Kim is the witness to all of these things in regards to Chay's character and his actions post!kidnapping, not only does he learn more about the boy he's fallen in love with, he has a deeper understanding of who Chay is that Porsche doesn't have. That in turn makes their love story much stronger in the show, as opposed to the book, despite their bittersweet ending.

Although deviating away from that crucial point of Porsche and Chay's relationship in the book, it nonetheless fulfills the same aspect in the book that by the end of the first KP story, Chay has somewhat matured due to his relationship with Kim, as well as the trust placed on him by his older brother (careless the trust though may be in the show).

Having Porsche and Chay drift apart by the end of the show illustrates one of KP's strongest, most important themes: Falling in love is a very humbling experience. Having said that, love itself is also a very selfish, self-serving emotion.

[dross-the-fish]

What were the gangs childhoods like? (Well… minus Adam… cuz yknow)

Watson-pretty normal, he had parents and an older brother, all of which were deceased by the time he met Sherlock upon his return to England from the battlefield. Selma Morris- was very close to her mother and her Abuela. Her father and brothers did the bulk of the monster hunting when she was young and she didn't join them until two of her brothers were killed. Most of Uncle Quincey Morris's fortune was divided between his living relatives so she was comfortable enough though not exceptionally wealthy as much of the money went to supplies and training. Her upbringing was very strict and her mother was a devout catholic which lead to frequent tension in Selma's teen and young adult years. Overall though she loves and misses her family and grieves that she can't return to them. Quincey Harker- had a happy childhood with is parents and siblings. His parents doted on him and instilled in him a strong sense of morality and the importance of good manners so he is a polite young man and always eager to be helpful. Lawrence Talbot- Had an excellent childhood. He traveled a lot with is parents to America and was adored by his mother's family in Boston. As an only child he did end up a little spoiled but very good natured and his parents were kind people. He often thinks of his childhood and misses them. Henry Jekyll- His father came into wealth when Henry was young and the family was moved from Scotland to England when his father was made partner of a profitable shipping business. The sudden change in social class and the expectation to blend in with upper-class English society was hard on Henry and his father was often very harsh with him telling him that the rest of the upper class wanted him to fail and were looking for any reason to ridicule them so no mistakes could be tolerated. As he grew up he struggled with the burden of expectation that came with being new money in a world of old money and fading aristocrats. It wasn't enough to have wealth if he didn't have the breeding so he needed a good reputation and a respectable career. Erik- Rejected by his own mother from an early age he left home very young and traveled. As a teenager he found his way to Persia and made a name for himself there as an assassin. The closet thing he had to a family was the Daroga, a kind man who often gave him a place to stay, comfort and food and who has shaped Erik more than he'd care to admit. Though not ethnically Persian Erik has adopted a lot of the culture into his daily life and while not religious he prefers to eat and prepare Halal food just in case the Daroga wants to eat with him. Theo- Raised by an Irish mother and grandmother and English father she grew up in poverty but wasn't unhappy in her early childhood. Her grandmother often told her stories about the fairfolk and what to do if she were to meet a member of The Gentry. Theo is easily the most superstitious of the crew and never stopped believing in fairies, even sometimes leaving out a little milk as an offering. When it was proven in the AU that they did exist she shelled out a few "I told you so!"s to some of the more skeptical crew members. Theo's childhood was short lived, when she was 9 her father was arrested and sent to prison for petty theft where he died. She lived in a London poorhouse for a time but the conditions proved to harsh for her mother and grandmother, both of whom died a year later. She was sent to an orphanage and then at twelve she started work in a factory. Things improved when she auditioned at 14 to play a role with a theater troupe and once she became a proper actress she never looked back.