#very hard to focus on anything else
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sorry ive been ia, the last few days have just been constant pain. ill try to write or get to some requests today bc it was my resolution to write a bit every day
#i had a bad cold and all the coughing has made me pull a muscle in my abdomen and im STILL coughing and its STILL pulling#so now my entire torso is a lump of burning pain and has been for the last two days#very hard to focus on anything else
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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My fourth wall OCs! ♥ (Patreon)
I tried to put everything in the tags but ended up being too long-winded lol, so here it is instead!
For this year’s big behind-the-scenes project, I realized I haven’t given colour references to a lot of my 4th Wall characters! There are...a surprising proportion of femboys who are aware of their existence here now that I look at it lol - I mean technically only Cory and Mint count there but that's still 2/8 - a fourth is kind of a lot! Their sizing is pretty funny to me as well, Cory’s proportions make everyone else look tiny by comparison, he’s just got a very large eye! Set right next to Gijat too, Vortians are so compact - he’s fully grown he’s an adult he’s just small!
Okay, for actuals now, starting left-to-right - while they’re obviously organized by height, it's funny because Cure is also the oldest by creation date. She's front of the line on everything! How silly. She's larger than your average plush bear but only by a little - just enough to be like Mildly intimidating if she approached haha. Puntable - and yet unpuntable lol. It's not just her being the oldest of the lot that makes her more powerful (although that is a contributing factor - she’s aware of her status both in and out of character!). It's not just Kids Rules either since she was made such a long time ago - y'know like ''Oh yeah well my character is [very powerful for X reasons]'' - although yes Also That lol. She's a Fourth Wall OC down to her roots, always intended that way - not everyone here can say that!
Tala also has that edge! Though in a very different way haha - she's also the only one here with a physical counterpart, which is fun :D Means she can go on “actual” adventures and bring that knowledge back with her cartoon versions - both are as real as the other! I keep forgotting her bow, agh, I need to take some more pictures of her sometime so my mental picture of her is more up to date haha
I guess my blankslate HF expression kind of counts?? Lol, it’s mostly for funsies, they’re more like a Concept As Person so?? Sure lol, With Accessories of course lol - haven’t been fighting it much lately so that’s all for now ♪ I wonder if they’ll stay so lucky in the near future hmmm
Gijat! ♥ He ended up being an accidental fourth wall character actually haha, he wasn’t designed with that in mind! He's not meant to know such things, but he did fairly well with it while he was part of the main rotation :) He was designed to be a story character but he ended up being my favourite comfort character so he got a few glimpses out <3 He hasn't for a while though! He's been retired for a long while actually - he's the second oldest character in the lineup after Cure but she had more staying power, sorry Gi <3 I did draw his fairy version not all That long ago tho! It’s hard to let go of anyone for Too long haha
Cory ♥ My sweet special boy <3 He's also the third oldest here! He was the first one to assert himself as a fourth wall OC haha ♪ Cure didn't really congeal into an OC for a long time - she stayed a concept and Gijat was on accident - whereas Cory purposefully and clearly looked outward from the start. He Has a story but it's never been all That developed - he has some non-4th Wall character-friends but his main focus is other, unrelated characters. He's always been very interested in other OCs, a lot of which stems from Bar actually haha - he and Bar are near-contemporaries - they're both featured here for a reason haha
Mint >:| He's...fine. He was inspired from a weird source and has therefore always Been weird - and also asserted himself like Cory. Same story - he has canon story elements but for the most part he's interested in others! Usually in a Pursuit kind of way, and not just limited to my OCs >:/ He needs to behave himself is what - he also has like 1000 outfits and they rarely repeat, ugh, pick one! I wasn’t familiar with the eGirl aesthetic at the time I made him, but he 100% fits it, look at him in his elf ears and heterochromatic contacts smh. I don’t actually know his real eye colour, or hair colour! He wears contacts and dyes his hair and won’t tell me, he even started dating a non-4th wall character without asking! He’s a real wild card
Erase is probably the babiest of the list despite Tala being newer and younger - everyone else was made before Erase! They’ve had had less screen time and less development than everyone else too.They're an incredibly light and oddly harmless fourth wall presence lol for all the danger They pose in Their story :0 They're fairly polite all things considered. They actually have a degree of respect for the fourth wall - unlike Some people (Mint) - probably from acknowledging The Player/Character vs. developer. If there's a hierarchy capable of being distinguished then Erase is going to place Themself in the safest spot. Y'know - to cause problems from lol. I do need to play with Them more - They're fun! But fun isn't quite enough to be full-fledged Interesting just yet, more to do, more to do
It's almost unfair to have Erase right next to Bar lol - possibly my most Interesting OC of all time. First created in 2015 quite soon after Cory, even in the same notebook! He retired in 2017, I think? 2018 at the latest - and then was revived in 2020 and has been here again since. And that's just his timeline! Not counting everything that went into him character-wise. Obviously my sonas don't count as 4th wall OCs because y'know - they're me - but Bar falls kind of unclear of the line between OC and sona, he's always been a weird one. He was initially meant to be an RP character and then over time he developed into a 4th wall OC/sona of a Kind. Nowadays he's a fully-fledged 4th wall OC by design - his change in design from his 2020 revival was meant to represent his transformation thereof - but he's always been weird! If I had to pick a character that I’d consider “overdeveloped” or put too much of myself in - even more than some of my sonas - it'd be him. He's one of my favourites because of that but it's hard to quantify how exactly I feel about him haha. I love him! It's painful! He's great! He's awful! He's very important to me and he'll never return to being what he was first created for again. I do quite like his new design <3 Paying homage to the video that sent him crashing back into relevance for me haha
It was fun to draw everyone :D And it's nice that they all have colour references now! Mint has definitely been the longest without one, everyone else has had at least Something - even Erase! And They're way newer! I did make Mint in a couple online dollmakers but that's not quite the same thing haha, he really needs his clothes hand-drawn :P
It's good to have them all :) They're a fun bunch and I like all of them <3 I think it’s kinda funny and a little strange how few crossovers they’ve had with each other though! So far it’s really only been Tala-Bar-Cory - the rest are aware of each other but haven’t really met, how strange, considering what they are!
#My art#Original#Would definitely recommend opening in a new tab on this one lol#This year's Requestober warmup project!#I actually ended up finishing everything well before the end of the season so I had to cast around for a few smaller things to do haha#But if anything I'm quite pleased that something of this size was able to be done so quickly!#It does help that my 4th wall OCs are some of my favourites haha - they get invited out! Or push themselves there >:P#I don't mind with Cory but Mint smh#I don't Really mind with Mint either pft but I do like to give him a hard time - he's a troublemaker!#On top of the high proportion of femboys there's also a lot of troublemakers in here - some of these interactions would be explosive lol#I do think it'd be fun to have them all meet up a bit more! Cure showed interest in Mint not too long ago#And Cory loves everyone haha he's actually very good about all that - he's kind of like a foster parent welcoming new rescues hahaha#He's always been like that <3 It's why he gets a birthday celebration most years good boys deserve good birthdays#I think Gijat would probably be overwhelmed by most everyone haha he really wasn't built to interact with others outside of his own story#And his fairy version probably hates me so there's that lol#He's good with kids tho! He could probably chat with Tala and they'd both be alright :)#Bar as usually snapping up any spare screentime and focus - gotta talk about him! Pft ♪#He's fairly chill thankfully - a little standoffish but that's to be expected really#Now that I think of it I drew Cory holding a tiny Bar when they were first contemporaries - I could do the opposite now!#Bar throws off the scale of everyone else so much haha <3#Goods lads ♥
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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progressing through the myth of sisyphus again
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#netzach#netzach lobcorp#obligatory drawings. ive had the book since my freshman year in highschool but never ended up finishing it due to how its worded and the#structure of it.. i need to be in a very specific state to be able to focus. mostly for reading in general but even more so for this#i have done parts though. never in its entirety which is a shame its a very intriguing read. hopefully i can finish it and then reread to#fully process. it is just 138 pages after all. its just so Dense... enough of book shit though. LOBCORP!!!#living hurts but the body yearns for preservation and people want to Live. to live is such a crucial want even if the self doesn't recognize#it on its own. everything in the flesh is designed to try and keep you alive. pains to eat the signals to drink the fear of hurt and pain#the automatic jerk when pain is experinced. the signals to show pain. yet living hurts. to survive hurts. so to sleep#to numb the pain to go through escapism to shut your eyes. general ideas. to see such a thing addressed and spoken about and acknowledgement#of pain and how it gets to that point was very stunning to me. it felt so real. seriously its hard to Not consider such a thing and its#rather scary? moreso when one doesnt have the words to explain or able to see such a thing experinced. it felt amazing? to see such a thing#Wanting to Die yet not to Die and to live but living hurt so much and so to get by and for the pain to Stop one does anything to soothe it#suffering is tiring. suffering hurts. its empty yet its excruciating. the want for it to stop and to not be there and experince it anymore#be it through various means or to the extreme to force it so that Nothing Else could ever happen to you. even pain. ahh nuts not quite just#lobcorp its just ramblings in general somewhat related since i didnt reread the exact dialog lately.#anyway skethcy drawings yay... i am fine currently its not super bad as it was earlier just a fatal flaw of thinking a lot (rip)
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[popquizzzz / its a two funny screenshots kind of day]
#mn bloopers#[its been hard 2 focus on anything else ijhave a migraine so weve just been chattin it up behind the scenes]#[we have very productive converstaions and then we drop jokes like this. i have th e sense of humor of a middleschooler]#((This is not intended to be targeted.))
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Adhd is so dumb why am I procrastinating going pee this is ridiculous
#I know it’s super common to a point where if you google ‘ why am I procrastinating peeing’ it’s all these adhd forums#but I hate it#I feel like I have better things to do even when my body is telling me I should do xyz#and I hate that I feel like it ruins my focus to stop doing anything else to take care of myself#body signals are very hard for me
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To people @ ing me and like. Just in general trying to involve me: i love you, im sorry im very bad at engaging and replying rn my social abilities are basically dead i genuinely love and appreciate it so so much yes you reading this i appreciate YOU so much plz do not think i hate you i swear i do not i just. Suck at soical anything rn. Replying to messages is hard. Reblog games are hard. Reading fic is *extremely* hard right now.
I know i sound like a dick bc i come on here and gush and post tons about my ideas and ships and i should be giving back if i want engagement. I know this. Im trying i swear. I appreciate you all. A lot.
#idk im fighting in the trenches#and i constantly worry about how i probably look like a self absorbed dick bag#constantly asking for people to send requests or askes about the ot3#when i rarely engage with anyone else.#im sorry. i am. im trying.#im trying to get better i swear.#im also in a mental torment nexus of irl is VERY rough rn and its hard to focus on anything that isn't my escapisms.#i can't write or read fic no matter how hard i try#i try to reach out and tell people i appreciate them#but i think i sound forced and disingenuous which sucks.#idk i constantly worry im the most annoying person ever and everyone dreads talking to me.#i realize thats probably not true but its a battle.#i know i should be better about letting people in but. idk. im afraid.#I've had so much of myself used against me when I've opened up to people in the past#that now i just. cant. the fear is so strong.#Anyway yeah thanks for dealing with my mentally unwell ass.#im sorry
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red and black combo forever
#dark souls#fashion souls#i like this drip#you can match fits easier in ds than er#and now that ive been playing ds for some days now i actually really like it#even tho it can be frustrating sometimes bc its very difficult. i wonder if a controller would be easier than mouse and keyboard#but still it helps to take my mind off of things like constantly wanting to k!ll myself or hack myself up & that's helpful in the end#you get beaten up so hard in game that you have no time to focus on anything else#and i don't mind that at all
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i need to vent i'm sorry dear god things are so bad
me when the conservative candidate is voted in (which is not a surprise bc i live in a conservative area but still) and this guy has exhibited pedophilic behaviour in the past and is a proud gun/army fanatic. i'm gonna fucking die.
and the conservatives in my province this year have been the most aggressively and openly transphobic main political party we've ever seen nation-wide, and it is looking like theyre either going to win majority or them and the other party are both going to be minority gvmts together and both of those options are Bad bc conservatives are going to have so much power either way. unless somehow the other party manages to juuust pull ahead enough to make up majority but it... isn't looking that way. and that's just coveirng the transphobia, theres been so much racism and other shit going on too, i'm really really scared !! esp w the fe.deral election coming up next year !!!
i feel extraordinarily unsafe rn esp with some local politics from earlier this year w someone in a position of power in town (i have to be so vague otherwise its going to be way too easy to look shit up and place me on a map lol, im already pushing it as is) and it was horrifying and seeing so many ppl be apathetic to it is just. so scary. i'm scared !!
also i have to wait for another two days for the welfare ministry to call me (stressed all day long from 8-5 bc idk when theyre going to call me) and if they do not call me by the end of tuesday then i have to phone a couple ppl and ask what to do bc they're supposed to call me to do the eligibility interview within two weeks of submitting my application. and by this tuesday it'll have been two weeks. i'm so unbelievably stressed dsfjkl i've been nauseous so much lately bc of the anxiety. and i dont cry very often but god almighty i've been crying every couple of days these past two weeks bc i'm just so exhausted and stressed and at the end of my rope fdsjkl
also my mother is being really scary lately and i can't do anything about it except keep my head down and just hope she eventually stops this shit
anyways i am not doing well ! feeling like everything is sort of closing in on me :''''))) idk what to do about it bc nearly everything that's causing me overwhelming amounts of stress is out of my control so i just have to keep clinging to life with the tenacity of a cockroach. but i'm really tired of it 😭😭😭 and i just. would like to be safe? i guess? that's such a silly notion though fdsjkl i do not ever get to be safe so it is silly to want for that. i think mostly i just want things to go back to being tolerable fsjkl i am... reaching the crisis limits beyond my real limits, to be entirely honest.
#sorry im sorry fdsjkl i am very sorry for this vent holy moly i am just so fucking scared rn#i would like things to calm down and be okay but auuughhhh life does not want to let me have that !#im going to . idk what to do tonight. i want to curl up in bed and just cry but its too early to get into bed fdsjkl#idk if i can draw though bc im so nauseous. idk what else to do. i can't focus on any art making bc i am ... panicking i think?#very funny that i describe like. semi-regular occurrences to mental health professionals and they tell me ''uh thats a panic attack''#and i go huh? but this happens on like a weekly basis. and i dont feel like its really all that bad like im not audibly hyperventilating#i just dont ... breathe much for a while. and its hard to focus on anything bc i feel like my brain is screaming#but i thought that was just regular anxiety 😭😭😭 my scope of ''normal'' is so hopelessly skewed arghhh#I NEED TO STOP TALKING SORRY. i am going away from here now. i really genuinely just needed to scream into the void for a minute#dandy.cmd#vent //
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Bro I really can't make myself do things I do not have the willpower to even get myself to care. I'm going to sleeb
#i will fail this semester bro......#cant even do the easy parts canttt do it#-_-#i guess im fixated on one thing rn very hard and i just can't focus on anything else#ouough#i feel really bad but it doesn't motivate me it just makes me upset#and im very tired from constantly being stressed and upset... you might notice a circle here... -_-#whatever I'll just go to sleep ughh..
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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besties i have an interview tomorrow for a new position that i want so so so bad and i am. QUAKING IN MY BOOTS ABOUT IT FUSKSKFKSKS
#like i feel ready for the interview but also i do not fusjsks#ive talked with 2 people ik in that position already and theyve given me SUCH good advice and tips for the interview#and i talked to both of my supervisors who also gave me good advice#and i have so many answers to so many potential questions in my head but ohhh boy.#(also i told another coworker about the interview& aPPARENTLY HE KNEW IT WAS COMING BC THEY REACHED OUT TO HIM FOR LIKE A REFERENCE LETTER)#(i was SHOOK. but he said he said very good things so im dhsjs 🥺🥺 that is so nice)#but god ive been applying for this position since may#i want this soooo baaaaad ahhhh#i literally cannot focus on anything else gjsjsk#like i tried so hard to do work today but i just. could not. fjdjsk#and my interview isnt until TWO PM so i have the whole morning to stress about it dxhsksksksk#n e ways.#wish me luckkkk#mack rambles
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I have the annoyingly verbose form of autism, evidenced by the fact I use words like "verbose."
My partner has ADHD and struggles with blocks of text, whether it be processing the words, parsing the text, or even just having the attention span to finish reading the block. Apparently reading is notoriously hard for people with ADHD for a variety of reasons. I'm a hyperlexic autistic who loves reading scientific journals for fun so I don't know what thats like and it sounds unfortunate.
To combat this for my poor Aly, I leave TLDRs at the end of my text blocks in our discord DM, so that if her brain isn't cooperating with my excessive use of the English language she can read a couple sentences that sum up what I said instead!
I think it probably also helps me learn how to be brief when summarizing events to someone.
Either way, making things accessible doesn't have to be a huge grand project. You can just start using TLDRs when you write a big paragraph.
TLDR adhd makes reading hard so to help your adhd having homies you can put a little summary at the bottom of your paragraphs so they can get the idea of the conversation even with a bad attention span!
#iggy rambles nonsense#nd tumblr#adhd#my brother also has adhd but hes more likely to tune anything else out until he has properly read the paragraph#so its not as needed for him for that purpose. aly tends to be a lil more of a scatterbrain type adhd and my brother is more a Wall Of Focus#its actually interesting to behold bc its the same disorder treated by the same chemicals but it displays very differently per person#thats one of the reasons nd conditions are hard to diagnose- theres no way to see the structural differences in the brain#and every person with autism displays the symptoms of that structural difference differently in their behavior#psychology can be a lot of putting ur hand on the head like its a crystal ball and asking if it has depression#and sometimes it doesnt answer or tells you its actually bipolar or adhd
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Been thinking like, huh, I don’t really have a special interest at the moment, I’m not feeling overly attached to any of the media properties that usually rotate as my special interests. But I realized today that I am currently obsessed with Ancient Rome :|
#m.txt#it’s very hard for me to say whether anything other than a media interest ever is a special interest#bc the way I interact with those is much more intense than my interest in Arthurian myth/bird facts/whatever else#but like. I read a 400 page novel in one day yesterday and have not been able to focus on anything that isn’t set in or about Ancient Rome#so like. maybe I’m a little obsessed
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not autistic but i believe in their beliefs.
#genuinely don’t know if i am autistic or some combination of adhd social anxiety and ocd makes me behave autistically#but at that point does it really matter#i mean i’m alright at reading social cues and tones and such within familiar contexts#but if i was bad at it i wouldn’t even realize it would i?#so who knows#it doesn’t matter that much to me whether or not i *actually* am autistic because even if i don’t then i am holding hands and kissing#autistic people so much because we have a lot in common and our struggles are very similar#i have a hard time taking ‘turns’ talking in conversation#i cycle through hyperfixations and it can be difficult to talk or focus on anything else#i have ‘special interests’#and i struggle socially because i have a hard time paying attention enough to pick up on subtle social cues#and when i’m anxious i have an especially hard time picking up on social cues
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