#vegetable bar soap

[y2kbeautyandother2000sstuff]

Bath and Body Works Honeysuckle Vegetable Bar Soap

1990-1994ish

Found on Ebay, user prpro_93

[dilfsisko]

(Image ID; a small bar of soap featuring an image of Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Text beside him reads ‘Jean Luc Picard’s Make It Soap. Earl Grey Scented!’ with the Next Generation logo in the corner. /End ID)

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

I've just re-read my previous requested fic for tf 141 x reader with high pain tolerance, and I think we could extend this prompt (and as always you can take it or leave it, no pressure a yea 👍🏻)

What if TF 141 almost lost F!Reader again, this time she got caught by enemies and got tortured for crucial/classified information. While being tortured, you can't help but feel a little grateful that you have such an extreme pain tolerance. You finally managed to get out that place by your own (and of course after unaliving your enemies) and got back to your team. Men are worried as hell cause 1) you look like shit, like someone has just crawled out of hell (which in your part it isn't wrong), 2) the fact that you have extreme pain tolerance just make it worse

And when you finally got evaluated by medics, including clothes off, that's when they knew you'd have it worse than what they've imagined. Black-ish bruises almost every where, broken bones, dislocated joints, dried blood etc. It's heartbreaking seeing you like this. Probably some will have self blaming, guilty, rage, and other mixed emotions. Hmm imagine the heavy angst but also the massive comfort after that.

Thankskie 🦈

Summary: high pain tolerance F!Reader get tortured, after you getting rescued, enjoy the FLUFF between you and TF141

cw: very slight gore (interrogation), canon swearing, canon violence

blahaj, FLUFF, TF141*F!Reader

last req about high pain tolerance F!Reader

Oh, This isn’t great. You probably going to die this time.

You licked your chapped lips, the bitterness of iron is obnoxious, making you regret the motion and go back to try to piece together your memories again.

You counted the time when you first got caught, but after endless rounds of interrogations, your mind is too hazy to keep up the measurement.

With your hands bounding tightly on your back, chains and steel bars preventing your legs from moving, all you can do is just prey for your teammates to come.

At least you aren’t afraid, no fear of death, nor fear of pain. It’s always these moments that you feel grateful for having almost no feelings of pain, it makes you keep composed and adamant.

Well, starving kind of sucks though, you guess you’ll even devour those vegetables you hated and shoved into Kyle’s plate if it’s presented to you.

Your mind wanders, from your pudding hiding in the deepest part of the fridge in case someone (Soap) eats it, to how Price will scold your ears off for being too reckless when you’re back, until the footsteps outside the door remind you to concentrate.

Damn, you need to get out alive if you want to listen to your dear Captain recite the rules.

The door creaks open with the broad man stepping in and his dogs tailing after with weapons.

The cool water gets splashed on your face when the man stands still in front of you.

“New toy, yeah?” you spot the machete in the man’s grip

“Glad to see you awake, sergeant?” The man laughs “Seems like the mouth still works pretty well, I hope your mind is clear too so we can cooperate perfectly today.”

“Sober enough to tell you ‘no’, I guess”

Red pours from your shoulder the second after your taunt, and you frown slightly at the little sting.

“Fucking bitch still has a sharp tongue after these wounds...” He eyes down at you with a bit of disbelief.

Even though you can’t see yourself, you know you look like shit either. Burnings from the lighters, slash wounds from various tactical knives, dark bruises forming on your thigh and other parts after countless punches and kicks.

All you need to do is buy time, but even if you barely feel pain, you still will die from blood loss if this keeps going.

The rest of the interrogation is just adding more injuries to your broken body, and your consciousness starts fading.

You really want to take a nap... but will you wake up again? you’re not sure especially when another smash lands on the back of your head.

Just about minutes before you sure will pass out again, you hear the noise. Gunfire, yelling, screaming of a massacre.

They arrived...

“Go check what’s wrong.” The broad man gestures, and one of his subordinates walks out to

“Guess your saviors have come... now” You look straight into the man ’s eyes when he puts the muzzle between your eyes. “No time for playing, one last time, tell me the people gave you the intel.”

The chaos outside is getting louder and closer. Buy time, you tell yourself again, so you whisper

“Okay... Okay... I will tell you, please don’t kill me, please...” You sniff, and start sobbing while your head stays lowered.

“Finally giving up, huh? Tell me, I need their name, who do they belong.” The smirk on the man’s face gets wider, god, you really want to punch his face.

“It’s...” You murmur, and the man leans closer to hear clearly.

“It’s go fuck yourself, you bloody bastard.” You spit the blood on his face and grin like a maniac.

and the door swings open, the gunshot splatters the man’s blood on your face, but you don’t care.

You win.

“Hey, guys, long time no see.” You smile at your teammates after the man collapses beside you.

“You’re fine now, don’t worry, we got you.” Soap rushes to your side “Price is calling the exfil, Ghost and Gaz are outside making sure everything’s clear.”

“Thanks...” You melt into Soap’s arm when he unties the rope and carries you.

“I tell the bastard to go fuck himself, hehe.”

“Stop talking, bonnie, ye need to rest.”

“Did I do great?”

“Yes.” The gravel voice of Soap’s becomes softer as he answers.

“May I rest now?” you blink slowly.

“Of course, lassie.”

Getting the confirmation, The warmth radiating from Soap is too soothing, you want to tell him how much you miss them, but those words are unable to come out as you get dragged into a coma instantly.

“damn...”

Your eyelids flutter open, the familiar white ceiling is the first thing you see.

“Morning, bonnie, how do ye feel?”

“dizzy as fuck.”

“pain?”

“Nah.”

“Sometimes I think you’re not human...” Soap laughs, but he’s worried, or worried can’t describe his mood when he saw your wounds as you were sent into the infirmary.

That day when they back to base, all of them followed you, and didn’t pay any mind about getting their gears off first.

You looked like someone who just found her way out of hell, beautiful face swollen, large bruises spread across your skin like some nasty paintings, and the situation was worse than they expected after the medics cut your clothes off and started their evaluation.

Soap couldn’t forget the rage swallowing him like flames when he saw what you went through in those days, the more wounds they spotted, the more tension in the air became more insufferable.

Gaz and he cursed when they saw the huge burn on your back, skin obviously inflamed, and when the deep cuts that exposed the bones revealed from the cover, he noticed Ghost clenching his fist to suppress anger.

Price stormed out of the infirmary and called Laswell between the medics surmising how many of your bones were broken.

“Wait...” your voice pulls Soap back to reality “blahaj! 4 blahaj! Where do they come from?”

“Price gave them to you, as rewards for your hard work. He said you keep rambling about wanting to have one.”

“awwww” Soap grins as he watches you struggle to hug all of them at one time.

“There ya go.” He helps adjust the plushies so you can get them all in your arms.

“Oh yeah, where’s others?”

“Price’s on op, will be back in a week. Ghost and Gaz will visit you soon.”

“Hmmmm.”

You caress one of the blahaj’s head and turn your face

“Thank you.” you grin “For coming to save me.”

“What are you talking about?” Covering his hand on yours, he looks into your eyes, without those playful glints in his azure ones.

“We’re a team, or more than a team. Ye think we will throw ye there and do nothing?”

The seriousness on his face infatuates you, you meet his gaze without darting, and finally, break into tender giggles.

“yeah, sorry, you’re right.” You chuckle “You know what? In that basement, All I wanted was to get out of there and come back to eat my pudding.”

“Pudding?”

“Yeah, I have one in the fridge.” nodding in excitement, you continue “I should ask the doctor if I can eat it.”

“Wait that’s yours?!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ehhh...” Soap’s smile freezes on his face under panic “I ate it.”

“...”

Soap MacTavish gets kicked out of the room with a new mission: buy 10 puddings.

When Gaz knocks on the door and steps into your ward, you are staring out the window, but turn to him immediately when you hear his arrival.

“Hey, Kyle.” You wave with your better hand.

“Feel better?” The sugar-coated smile he has always provides you with energy, your mood lights up as he takes the seat beside your bed.

“mmhmm, not that dizzy anymore.”

“loves those sharks very much?” He points at the blahajs you squeeze close to you.

“Damn, they’re my new babies now.” You show Gaz each of them.

“This is Pricey, this is Ghostie, this is Gazzy, and this is Soapy.” Proudly introducing them to Gaz, you give the sharkies a few pats.

“Such Innovative names, hm?”

“I don’t think Gaz is some special name too, Kyle.”

You both giggle at the stupid names you granted to the sharks, while Gaz lands his eyes on your arm hanging mid-air, his laughter gradually comes to a halt.

“Hey.” He watches you raise an eyebrow when he calls you “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Just...” His eyes stay on your bruises, traveling along them, and he hates that they lead his gaze to roam your whole figure. “We should be there faster.”

His brown eyes are full of distress when they meet yours again.

“Garrick, come closer.” You beckons, and he follows suit.

“Don’t apologize. When I saw all of you on that goddamn chair, I knew I was safe now.” You cradle his cheek in your palm “You guys are my shelter, my home, and I never thought the chance that my team wouldn’t save me, Soap said it yesterday, and I’m sure you’re the same, yes?”

“Of course.” His eyes soften, and you return him a reassuring smile when

“Time for you to go train the rookies, right?” Shooting a glimpse at the clock, you ask.

“yeah, time to deal with those troubles.” He stands up from the chair and looks down at you “See you, lovie.”

“see ya.”

You watch him walk towards the door, but stop after a few steps.

“Why does Soapy have a huge dent on his head?”

“Oh.” You pout “He ate my pudding, so I punched his shark since I can’t spar with him now.” another punch hit Soapy when you finish speaking.

“Wow...”

Gaz mourns for his brother’s future with his whole heart.

“Still awake?” The gruff yet gentle voice floats into your ear the moment the door slides open.

“Been sleeping the whole day, LT.”

Ghost watches you shift, and lies on your side to face him.

“How’s the day, Ghost?”

“Shit as usual.”

“How about seeing me, feel better?”

“Feels worse.”

“Hey, honesty is a virtue but not here.”

He scoffs at your retort as he observes your face.

“The bruises on your face look smaller.” Ghost indicates.

“Oh yeah, my face! How does it look like?” You point at the hand mirror Gaz brings you, and after Ghost hands it to you, you open the lid.

“Jesus Christ!” you shout when the reflection shows you how shit you look like “I’m so ugly right now!”

“We all know.”

“Damn, if there’s an award for honesty, you will be the winner, Simon.” You throw the mirror back into his grip.

“Will you congratulate me?”

“I will give you an ‘I’m a winner’ sticker for you to paste on your mask.”

He chuckles at your banter, but you can sense his exhaustion, from his limp body to his half-lid eyes.

“You’re tired, Simon. Go back to rest.” You coo softly.

“I’m not leaving until you sleep.”

“but I’m not that sleepy now.”

“Should I sing you a lullaby, sergeant?”

“I’m afraid that my ears don’t have the honor the hear your beautiful singing, Sir.” you feign an ‘oh hell no’ face to him, but your eyes light up when an idea comes to mind.

“Hey, how about you lie on my bed? it can fit 2 people.”

“I don’t know you’re such an active woman.”

“Fuck you, Simon. If you want me to fall asleep then get on the bed right now!”

Sighs in compromise, Ghost rises from the chair and sits on the edge of your bed with a grunt, and you scoot inward to leave him more space to lie down.

“You’re like a bear, Ghost, I’m gonna squash into a pie by you and the blahajs!”

“Then throw those bloody sharks on the floor.”

“No! they’re Tf141 blahaj!” You pet the one in your arms when Ghost gives you a confused face. “This is you, Ghost.”

“The real Ghost is beside you and you choose him over a fake one?”

“I don’t know you’re that active, lieutenant.”

You smirk at him, he’s only wearing a balaclava, so you’re able to see the corner of his eyes crinkle at your words.

But Ghost must have some magic, you grow sleepier under his presence, maybe it’s his steady breath sounds like a lullaby, or it’s because safety he always generously offers to you.

“Sleepy now?” He speaks slowly and quietly as if he’s fear of scaring your sleepiness away.

“a bit...” A big yawn answers the question better than your slurry voice.

“Close your eyes then.”

“mmm.”

You secure the Ghostie blahaj in a tight embrace as you follow Ghost’s command.

you feel light pats on your non-injured part, and you scoot closer to the bulky man, letting him lead you into a peaceful sleep.

Ghost watches you fall asleep, and he moves off the bed as gently as he can.

“Sweet dreams.” He chants in a low voice, and he takes other sharks in his hand, placing them closer to you.

Making sure the sharks are cuddling you, he leaves like a ghost in the serene silence.

You look down at yourself, ankles tied to the chair, blood dripping from the knife that’s barely in your sight.

Aren’t you already out of that basement...?

Is it all a dream? In reality, you’re still getting interrogated?

You try to fixate on the noise outside the door, but you feel the cold metal touching your forehead.

Am I never going to see them again? I want to see them again...

I want to hear Price’s praises, want to hear Soap and Gaz fighting over the last biscuit, want to hear Ghost’s annoyed voices at my frolic.

Tears gather in your eyes when you hear the click from turning off the safety of the gun.

“... geant...sergeant... sergeant.”

“Ahh!” You let out a yell as you snap your eyes open, which are wide with horror.

“Cap-Captain...” You pant whilst you recognize the person pulling you from your nightmare.

“Yes, it’s me, love. You’re safe now, you’re in the base, infirmary, remember?” He caresses your hair to calm you down.

Oh, yes, you aren’t in that basement. You’re back.

You’re with the people you love.

“Why are you here, Captain?” after you breathe steadily again, you notice it’s 1 am, and the aisle outside is silent.

“Just came back from the op, and want to see you.”

“You should have some rest, Price.”

“You mean I leave now even when you just woke up from a nightmare?” He crooks his eyebrows.

“Well...”

“Be selfish, love. I will stay here.”

“You don’t blame me for being too stupid and getting caught by the enemy?”

“Things went south sometimes.” He shakes his head “It’s not your fault.”

“...”

“Say it, luv.” He encourages you when you hesitate.

“I...” “I thought I was not afraid of anything... at least in that basement, pain’s not a big deal for me, starvation is bearable, and death... if that means I won’t lose to those dorks, then it’s nothing to me.”

Price gives you a grunt as acknowledgement, so you continue.

“but... I think I’m still afraid of dying...” You fidget your fingers “I want to see all of you again... I want to come back to you.”

“I don’t want to die...”

You haven’t noticed tears staining your cheeks until Price’s finger — calloused yet warm — wipes the tears away.

“We all know you’re brave, kid.” Price cups your face, hand barely touches your skin, must be avoiding trigger your pain, but you don’t care, nor you can feel the pain, you shove your cheek in it and earn a chuckle from the man.

“Your high pain tolerance makes you look forward to your target without worrying yourself, but keep in mind.”

“Don’t make us worry, you need to come back to us, we can’t lose you, just like you can lose us. Understood?”

“Yes, Capt.”

“You want to go back to sleep?”

“If you tell me a bedtime story, then I will.” the mischievous grin returns to your face.

“Greedy, eh? I thought those sharks could satisfy you.”

“I want your bedtime story too.”

“How about I tell you a story about how to become an attentive soldier?”

“Fuck you, Captain.”

You hit Price with the plushie, which he catches easily, and put it on his lap, letting you give the shark little punches to drain your excessive energy, as he starts telling what happened when he met Soap the first time.

You aren’t afraid of pain, and you become an undaunted person on the battlefield. Yet still, you now keep in mind that there are people who love you, and are worried about you.

You all are a team, a home, and a haven for each other, always by each other’s side, or waiting for others to return safely.

and it’s really nice to be able to come back home.

a/n: thanks for reading! and thank you sharkie for the request, I hope you will like it (or not too disappointed) !! :D

Have a nice day/night, everyone!

[bagelzest]

ok I've been writing down every code I could find and what they do for thisisnotawebsitedotcom in my notes app so here's what I've found so far:

• tjeckleburg - NEVER MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN

• bill - eye of providence wiki page, then sesame street jazzy triangle meets a square square (same result with cipher)

• bill cipher - triangle wiki page

• weirdmageddon - gravity falls gossiper newspaper

• soos - letter from soos

• pinata - bill piñata gettin beat

• mabel - stickers on everything till 'LAB NOW FULLY MABELIZED'

• dipper - note from bill telling dipper to stare at the sun for 13 hours, enter multiple times for a retina burning sim

• mason - letter from dipper

• pines - A GOOD FAMILY TREE

• stan + stanley - brass knuckles ebay search, keep entering to get wheel of shame page

• ford + stanford + sixer- ford's polydactyly diagnosis + report

• pacifica - letter from pacifica

• wendy - note from wendy

• waddles - pigplacementnetwork.org

• gideon - sweat resistant bolo ties google search

• fiddleford - cotton eye joe mv

• dippy fresh - burger king kids club r/nostalgia

• axolotl - YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS

• tad strange - bread slicing

• alex hirsch - flannel google search

• blendin - TIME AGENT LOST AND PRESUMED INCOMPETENT

• robbie - text chat between robbie and Thompson, pic of them being taken by bill

• gravity falls - NEVER HEARD OF IT

• mystery shack - confusion hill

• blind eye - eye test, colour code at bottom- euclmjiannrepttgccvisignnsupervisionn I think?? EDIT wtf was I on that is obviously not what it says

• reality - IS AN ILLUSION

• the universe - HOLLOGRAM

• deer teeth - FOR YOU, KID!

• fuck - I get told to wash my mouth out with soap :(((

• book of bill - HIDE IT UNDER SHIRT DURING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

• giffany - enter multiple times, computer tries to block, SOOS, I STILL LOVE YOU, giffany appears on screen, downloading file IM NEVER LEAVING! file has all her sprites, a doc called ILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU SOOS which is text in the shape of giffany

• euclydia - DIMENSION NOT FOUND

• portal - PORTAL.EXE HAS BEEN DELETED. I BET YOU COULD BUILD ONE

• toby determined - google search restraining order

• journal 1 - THE JOURNAL OF FUN

• journal 2 - THE JOURNAL FOR YOU

• journal 3 - THE JOURNAL FOR ME

• babba + disco girl - recording of dipper singing and listening to babba

• gun - OH YES OH YES OH YES THEY BOTH

• abuelita - best vacuum for walls and ceilings yt vid

• weird - weird al trapped in the computer

• xyler + craz - jem and the holograms theme song yt vid

• triangle - TRI HARDER

• theraprism - blue sign - IN CASE OF [the old one] DO NOT USE ELEVATORS

• yes - WHAT'S MCGUCKETS FAVOURITE SODA? (I tried putting in pitt cola and variations and nothing worked)

• no - YOUR LOSS...

• vallis cineris - creepy vid of baby bill held by static parents with voice saying why did you do it

• disney - RAT.GIF CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION

• love + marry me (don't worry about how I discovered that) - pic of the love triangle book, click it and it plays an audio audiobook of it

• death - LIFE'S GOTH COUSIN

• life - LIFE: 72% COMPLETE. NOW LOADING: DEATH

• blanchin - how to blanch vegetables yt vid

• divorce - o' sadleys logo (aka the bar bill was at after "losing sixer" oh my GODDD)

• season 1 - SEASON -1: ANTIGRAVITY FALLS

• season 2 - SEASON 1

• season 3 - SEASON 2

• help me + save me + god - vid of axolotl swimming infront of a little bill statue

• ad astra per aspera - 2 journal pages starring ford and mabel, pls read them it's so good

• trigonometry - bill's attempt to have plato build the portal

• cray cray - mental health wiki page

• who are you - I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION

• lies - bill talking about lying and nerds

• morality - fun game!

• R34LITY - henchmaniacs polaroids

• ducktective - DUCKTECTIVE STARS IN "LOVE, QUACKTUALLY" COMING TO: "OI, ITS THE COCKNEY CHANNEL INNIT?" THIS FALL

• question - ANSWER

• answer - QUESTION

I'm editing this post when I find new ones, feel free to add any you find!! please look at the replies to this post because people have found more codes!!

EDIT I'm probably done with updating this list, these are just the ones I found after goofing around on the website for 4 hours. other people have definitely made lists of all the codes found so far so make sure to check them out !!

[femoso-seben]

Mini witch story part one

Part 1, Part 3,

Rua walked over to the table last to arrive, her wolf familiar probably ran off to who knows where. She looked exhausted and behind her walking in shame was her familiar, Soap as she calls him. Apparently, when he was a pup he ate a bar of soap.

“You’re late,” Cordelia chimes in a teacup in her hand. As the oldest, she was the first to receive her demonic animal familiar, a big ol’ brown bear. For an old man, he sure can move fast when he is needed.

“I think you should put him through dog disciplinary training,” Sula said, this earned a growl from the wolf.

“Enough,” Rua sighs collapsing into her seat, “we are here for you,” she turns to me. You held onto my cup of milk.

As the youngest, physically, and mentally even though we all started at the same time. You were frozen in time and space. You look around, they are so much older, and time has taken ahold of them.

“Our Sire will give you a familiar,” Ophelia spoke up setting her cup of vodka down. “Then you can leave this Forrest and explore the world.”

“Why do I have to have a familiar?” You ask.

“In your absence, the mortals began a witch trial,” Rua spoke, “your familiar is there to keep you safe.”

“How?”

“In their humanoid form, they have their animal attributes.”

“Like eating Soap?” Your sisters broke out into waves of laughter and looked at the poor wolf who looked down at his feet.

“Do you have any animals in mind?” Cordelia asks.

“Fluffy. Likes to be around me. Strong. Friendly. Not so demanding… a cat.”

The forest grew cold as the trees warp around you all. Soon your Demonic sire who turned you all to witches walked from the trees. You get up and bow to him.

“Little one,” he begins, “I have your familiar.” You feel yourself blooming into a smile. From his hands, a black mass forms and falls to the ground.

Slime.

“WHAT IS THIS?” You shout poking the weird slimy creature. It lunged at you and gripped your leg. You let out the most horrific scream, and kick her leg throwing it off you. “WHY IS IT UGLY?”

From the back, you hear your sister cackling at you. The little slimy black thing slithers towards you. You look up at your Demon Sire who gives you a blank stare.

“Give me a cat!”

“He is very loyal.” Your sire says.

“HES UGLY AND SMALL!” You shout back picking it up with your staff.

“It’s an octopus,” Sula stated calmly. “A delicacy in Asia.”

“I DON’T WANT IT!” You look at your demonic father only to find him glaring at you. You stare at the little black blob, his Beaty blue eyes staring up at you. You think it’s glaring at you.

It moves closer climbing up your bare legs and to your chest. It sat right above your breast and two long appendages moved to your face. Your skin crawls and you feel the ICK coming. You grab it and punt it to the ground.

“ITS A PERV!” You scream and turn to your sisters for help. Rua turns away laughing to herself.

“You can always throw it away in a far-off land.” Ophelia offer.

“Don’t be foolish, our Familiars have an innate ability to find us,” Sula said.

Fear seeps into your skin. This creepy ugly perverted little thing was attached to you forever. You wanted to cry.

Your Sire and sister left you with these things.

It kept trying to climb up your leg.

You grab it by the head and look it over. An idea hit you.

“I can eat you!” You said a creepy smile crossing your face. Its little eyes and tentacles began to thrash around. You shove it into your bag and rush off to get some sauces and some vegetables.

How would you cook it? On a stove? In water? In bread? You shrug it had eight tentacles you had eight tries.

Your cauldron boiling, cutting board ready you grab the ugly thing and a knife ready to slice it up.

It transforms. In front of you is a huge tall man. You stare at his naked form. It glared at you, through a hood, holding your wrist.

“Let go!”

“NEIN!” He growls out his voice higher pitch than you would have guessed.

“Transform!”

“NEIN!” He said again.

“I am your master!”

“Du worst much night essen.” He snaps. He glared at him. You grab his hood and soon tentacles come out gripping your fingers. You screech and yank your hand away. He chuckles.

You wanted to strangle this man.

You finally agree not to eat him, and in return he lets you go. You also forced him into some clothes. You glared at him, and he watched you closely.

You grab your grimoire and put it into your bag. You are traveling, seeing the world! Staff in hand you walk out of the forest.

The sunset was absolutely stunning, the cliffside falls to crystal clear waters. The smell of freedom was intoxicating.

You feel the skin-crawling sensation of suction cups crawling up your legs you look down to see the disgusting thing crawling up your legs and to your boobs again. You grab it and shove it into your bag trapping it inside.

This bitch was ruining your moment. ------------

@milkywayhou full verson

taglist: @maylovesyousomuch, @trgraves-valx1f0r

[hedgehog-moss]

I realised I hadn't posted a greenhouse report since spring, and today seemed like a good day for a 2023 home-grown food review!

2023 was a great year for fruit; my apple & plum trees were so generous! In the greenhouse my most successful crops were tomatoes, red chilli peppers, beans, and pickles. I was able to make spicy plum chutney using my own plums, onions and peppers:

On the other hand I was unlucky with my non-greenhouse vegetables, there were so many insects this year and my courgettes got absolutely decimated. But then I complained about my bad courgette luck to some neighbours and was gifted 9 courgettes and 3 pumpkins. I spent the first half of my autumn cooking and freezing and pickling and preserving to try not to let anything go to waste; I made:

7 jars of pesto (with greenhouse basil); 8 jars of pasta sauce (with courgette-pumpkin-tomato-red peppers-onions-basil, + parmesan); an unknown but large amount of pumpkin-tomato soup (I put them in empty glass bottles and freeze them); 7 jars of spicy plum chutney; 2 small bottles of spicy oil for my pizzas (with some of my chilli peppers; the rest are still drying by the stove to become chilli powder); 5 jars of plum jam and 3 of blackberry jam (I also froze several kg of whole blackberries for winter desserts); 6 jars of pickles (they are delicious!! I'd never pickled pickles before this year, I'm really happy with the result); 12 small bottles of elderberry syrup; 4 large bottles of elderflower syrup; hundreds of little apple sweets; several bottles of apple juice; an absolutely dizzying amount of apple puree / compote / jelly, because I refused to leave any leftover apples for the dormouse population. They are not my friends.

(If you think I'm being too mean to the dormice, please know that a) they are unrepentant thieves; b) I became so competent at hiding my apples that a dormouse ended up sneaking into the shower at night to eat my soap. My bar of homemade (not by me) goat milk soap. It's hazelnut scented so I guess if you're a rodent it just smells like lunch.)

I took some stuff out of the freezer just long enough to take this family picture; though I already gave away a lot of things to guests and neighbours, so it's just what's left! (I also froze enough chopped onions to last until summer I think)

I am terrible at labelling my jars; in my hubris I always assume I'll just remember where I put which kind of sauce or flavour of compote. I never remember. I end up having to give my guests mystery jars, like "this is fruit jelly! Made with... fruits"

So it wouldn't get too monotonous I added various fruits to my apple purees: apple-raspberry, apple-blueberry, -plum, -blackberry... I also made a few jars of apple-pineapple-pumpkin compote because I had too much pumpkin and I regret not focusing on that from the start, this combo tasted so good and was the most cheerful yellow colour.

I finally used my last apples last week, making apple-quince paste which is currently drying in order to become sweets. I bought some pretty & thick paper to origami a few boxes to put them in, so I'll have New Year presents for my courgette-providing neighbours. <3

(My cats are currently banned from this room so they won't try to lick the fruit paste) (they don't even like it, they're just cats)

[kitkatscabinet]

Break up with your boyfriend

John Mactavish x reader x Kyle Garrick

Requested by @bunnyreaper

Summary: Johnny and Kyle are hardly pleased with the news you're dating someone who's not them, and promptly decide to remedy the situation.

Word count: 1.5k

“Sorry can’t, I’m calling my boyfriend tonight.” Your words reverberate through Soap’s mind even hours later, a neverending loop as he dazedly tries to make sense of the Earth shattering revelation. My boyfriend. Boyfriend. 

The heinous word mocks him, causing him to scowl at his plate murderously as he stabs the slightly undercooked vegetables with his fork hard enough that it’s a miracle the plate doesn’t shatter under the force. 

Gaz, who had been staring warily for a few minutes decided it was time to finally speak up, “You alright mate? Didn’t think the food was that bad,” he attempted to joke, smile dying when Soap’s imperious glare turned to him. 

“Did you know?” Ominous words aside, Gaz quickly manages to get to the root of Soap’s ire, finding himself joining the petulant club of disgruntled men stabbing their food and imagining it’s your boyfriend. He’d probably squeal like a little bitch after only one punch Soap mused. Not at all the type of man worthy of you. 

Still, they grit their teeth and wallow in their jealousy and rage because you just seem so happy, even if they both privately think you’d be so much happier with them. These thoughts are never vocalised to one another but it’s clear in the way Kyle clenches his jaw when you smile at your phone, and the way Soap is constantly raring for a spar to expend the sudden rush of agitated energy, that neither of them are truly happy about the boyfriend. 

The fragilely maintained peace doesn’t last, shattering barely a few weeks after they’d recieved the news, because they finally meet him. It’s during an outing at the local bar that often housed soldiers during their down time. The team had been waiting for your arrival, Soap’s knee jiggling as Kyle repeatedly checked his phone. You were thirty minutes late, you were never late, and just when the boys begin to fear for the worst, you arrive, only with a man’s arm wrapped around your waist. 

Instantly Kyle’s smile dies and Johnny’s clutching his glass so tightly that it’s a miracle it didn’t smash into a million pieces. You seem a little harried, usually immaculate appearance a little messed and the rumples in your shirt give the team a perfect idea of why you’re late, not to mention the stupid smug smirk that’s painted on your asshole boyfriend’s face. 

While Kyle at least tries to be a little magnanimous, though the petty remarks do slip through, Soap doesn’t even try to hide his dislike. “This him then? Shorter than I’d pictured” Soap says with a predatory grin, shaking your boyfriends hand so hard that something pops. Those words set the tone for the rest of the night, and it’s only thanks to Price sensing the underlying tension and keeping your attention on him and Simon that you don’t truly notice and get upset. 

Stuck between the full force of Kyle and Johnny’s charm turned to the max, your boyfriend barely gets a sliver of your attention. Especially when Kyle’s hand migrates to rest on your knee, his thumb rubbing circles that feel like fire as you try to focus on anything else. (Later you’ll try not to feel sick when you just narrowly avoid moaning Kyle’s name instead.) 

By the time your boyfriend is practically dragging you out of the establishment with gritted teeth and a strained smile, it’s been decided. There’s no discussion, it’s a completely silent transition, but upon finally meeting the douchebag, him and Kyle are suddenly on the same page. That being to get you to leave your loser boyfriend, using whatever means necessary. 

It starts small, neither of them want to scare you off. They’ve both always been naturally flirty with you, touches that already bordered the line of inappropriate, but they need to get you used to the thought of them, both alone and together. As much as Johhny wants to pin you to the bed and fuck you stupid, Kyle convinces him its not the best route. They needed to get you reliant on their touch, their words, their praise until you could barely think of anything else, let alone the supposed man calling himself your boyfriend. 

Johnny hugs you every morning, inhaling your scent and crushing you against him far too long to be normal. Kyle asks you how you slept, cheekily commenting that you’d have slept better in his arms. They pull your focus from your phone, subtly sliding it out of sight or straight up pouting when you won’t pay attention to them. Spars always inevitably ended with them grinding against you, acting like they weren’t hard, smirking smugly at you when your eyes were drawn to their erection. 

It pays off, because it doesn’t escape either of their eagle eyed notice when you start to seek them out more, the way you lean into their touches, how you seem almost surprised yourself when you start to initiate, desperate for their touch. 

That’s when they start to kick it up a notch. 

You’ll never know that it’s not an accident, Kyle leaving his door open wide enough for you to hear the way he moans your name, to see his hand desperately jerking his cock. Though he’ll later ask if you liked the show, watching the mortification flood your face when you realise he caught you watching. “I don’t mind, you can watch whenever you like, if you’re good, maybe I’ll let you touch,” those damned whispered words haunt your every waking hour, filtering into your dreams so much that more than once you wake up achingly horny. 

Never one to be shown up, Johnny stumbles into your room, alcohol on his breath and cheeks flushed as he collapses ontop of you. He uses his bulk to squish you into the mattress, nuzzling into the skin of your neck and pinning your arms to your side with his own muscular ones.

“What are you-” you shriek out in surprise, only to be cut off when he shushes you. 

“Calm down. ‘S just me,” he murmurs, as if that was the only issue. Further protests fall on deaf ears as you’re forced to accept that Johnny is your blanlet for the night. (You don’t fight nearly as hard as you should.) 

It’s the worst sleep of your life. Not because its uncomfortable, no, Johnny’s body against yours is too comfortable, feels too good. Then your night turns straight into hell when he starts to grind against you in his sleep. You can feel everything, his cock is slotted perfectly with your groin and his moans and whimpers filter directly into your ear. In your panic and guilty arousal you don’t know what to do and just when you go to wake him, the ache between your won legs becoming too much to bare, he stills. Your heart roars thunderously in your ears, throat dry and senses dialled to 11 when you hazily realise that he’s cum. 

Too keyed up from a restless night and unwilling to look Johnny in the eyes, you miss the victorious smirk he shoots at an equally proud and jealous Kyle. If one was bad enough, now the two of them are always together and they are insistent on not leaving you alone. Hands on your hips, around your shoulders, brushing your ass as the other stands moves to fill whatever free space there is. Not to mention the relentless use of pet names, babe, lovey, honey, bug, darling, everything’s been given a go until they settled on the things that flustered you the most. 

The final straw is when you walk into your room to see Johnny and Kyle sloppily making out on your bed. You don’t say anything to them at the time, unwilling to speak or do anything that you might regret while you’re still with your boyfriend. You refuse to be that person. 

The fate of your relationship is decided barely three months following its inception though its not as difficult to break it off as you thought it would be, especially not when just before he tells you that he didn’t want you hanging around Johnny and Kyle anymore. It was him or them and wasn’t it a little funny that he genuinely thought you’d pick him? 

It’s the fastest breakup of your life, not even a five minute phone call. Though you had hung up when he’d started to scream at you, all but running back to your room where Kyle and Johnny were waiting with matching grins, pulling you down between them like they’d practiced. 

Tags: @juvenillia @ghostslillady @tokusho @ohworm-writes @kmi-02 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jumpofmyclif @tiredmetalenthusiast @cooliofango @101crows

[konigsblog]

MORE DOMESTIC 141 HEADCANNONS

headcannons 1 , masterlist

warnings: drinking maybe, fluff. a lot of it ... and some stupid little headcannons that i think personally fit each 141 character :-) gn!reader i think.. photo credit: @yumethefrostypanda

SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY

loves smoking a cigarette with you on the balcony outside your small, yet comforting apartment. even if you don't smoke, just standing outside with him. he's shirtless, enjoying the cool breeze against his bare, scarred chest and looking down on traffic in manchester and the people running about. something about being around people feels comforting to him.

naps during the day. before dinner, you'll find him snoozing on the couch. his phone buzzing with an alarm that hasn't stopped going off. you always chuckle, sitting down beside him and admire his features without that mask on. his raspy, sleep voice so deep it makes you giggle.

bar hopping with him and soap. like i said in my last headcannons, soap loves bar hopping. catching up and giggling whenever soap flirts with you, met with a harsh, stern “johnny.”

JOHNNY ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH

his dumb jokes, that only sometimes makes sense. he might even wake you up with a cheesy pick-up line, groaning and turning over. he got the hint, never used it again... “babe, do you like raisins? how do you feel about a date?”

back scratches. he'll lean over, asking you to scratch his back before he falls asleep. by the time you're finished, he's asleep, dead silent before he begins snoring like a wild animal.

baking together. not only is he horrible at cooking, you're even worse as a duo. somehow, there's flour in places they never should've reached, on the couch and pillows. and definitely ended up using out of date frosting, not realising till after that the milk was also spoiled. you bought a cake instead and pretended like you made it so you both wouldn't cry.

CAPTAIN JOHN ‘PRICE’

the smell of nicotine around the house. god, he stinks of it. occasionally — multiple times a day — going out for a smoke break, absolutely reeking of smoke afterwards. he feels bad, ends up showering and cuddling you when you're in bed.

his baths. not a joke, that the man loves his bath. although, he stands pretty tall which means he makes a complete mess of the bathroom floor. definitely has candles dimmed and lit, his eyes shut tight with cucumbers over them, bubbles overflowing from the tub and a drink of whiskey beside him on a folded table.

a drunk mess. he can drink a lot when he has the chance, meaning you either have to sleep on the couch and risk back pain, or attempt to drag him to bed. his arm slung over your shoulder, weighing you down before crumbling to his knees beside the bed. you gave him his pillow and a blanket and went to sleep.

KYLE ‘GAZ’ GARRICK

his amazing breakfasts. usually, they're healthy. probably either fried eggs and toast, with some vegetables on the side, a cup of cucumber water and a bowl of strawberries. or, an açai bowl, usually consisting of; strawberries, raspberries, mango and banana.

massages. you take turns massaging eachother, one person a day, then the next, a loop and a pattern. your hands working out the knots in his shoulders, applying pressure and leaving him relaxed and probably snoring silently. — doesn't really snore, just the sounds of shallow breathing beside your ear.

bodycare... he cares a lot about how he smells, which usually means you're dragged with him to buy some cologne, asking for your favourite so he can have you all over him. usually something fruity, a little bit of vanilla and pinewood, but usually consists of a fruit scent.

[cynicalrosebud]

Incorrect Quotes 3: I'm Tired

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

Soap: Tae be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm nae asleep in bed next tae the love o’ ma life in a cottage wi’ nae obligations other than waterin’ ma vegetable garden.

Ghost: Comparin’ Soap an’ Y/n is like comparin’ apples and oranges.

Soap: We’re both unique in oor own ways?

Ghost: Apples are superior in every way, an’ all oranges should be eliminated.

Y/n: Which one of us is the orange?

Soap: Hold on, I can explain!

Ghost: Really? Can ye now?

Soap: I can if ye give me a minute tae think of a convincin’ lie.

Ghost: Life keeps fuckin’ me, and I can't fuckin' remember the safeword.

Gaz: D’ye have any idea whit you’re doin’, sir?

Price: Why start now?

Computer: Please enter a password.

Ghost: *types in Soap*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Ghost: How fuckin’ DARE YE-

Soap: Ye might no ken this, Price, but I am a flawed person.

Price: Aye, I do know tha’.

The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting

Gaz: *walks in and sits on Y/n’s lap*

The Squad: …

Ghost: Why are ye sittin’ there?

Gaz: There’s no free seats!

Ghost: But we made sure there was enough room fer—

Y/n: *hugs Gaz tightly* There are no free seats.

Y/n: You've got to act tough, Gaz! Show ’em you can’t be pushed around! Show ’em they can’t mess with ya!

Gaz: Right. Yeah. Tough. Got it.

Gaz, *standing up on his stool and slamming his hands down on the bar*: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

Gaz: I’ve organized your messages into three categories.

Gaz: “From Ghost”

Gaz: “Death Threats”

Gaz: an’ “Death Threats from Ghost”

Soap: If ye took a shot for every time ye made a bad decision, how drunk would ye be?

Price: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Gaz: Drunk.

Ghost: Wasted.

Y/n: Dead.

Price: Sorry I'm late, I was doin’ stuff an’ got distracted.

Gaz: I'm stuff!

Ghost: I'm got distracted!

Soap: We had sex.

Ghost, after watching Soap get shot by someone: You’re deid. Ye are very deid. When ye’re a corpse, I’ll hack away at yer flesh an’ eat ye raw.

Soap: Lt., I'm no deid yet.

Ghost: Let me have ma moment o’ rage tae avenge ye, Johnny.

Soap: I’d prefer it if ye didnae let me die.

(too soon?)

[peachesofteal]

I know you said you’re done writing for Darling and DD, but sometimes I like to imagine her and the boys post-final chapter together and happy and well adjusted and living the life they all deserve together as a little ✨treat✨

Wrote this for Patreon weeks ago but-

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people here.” Your fingers trail across a pyramid of apples, plucking four from the top while giving the woman behind the table a small smile. Johnny fishes her payment out of his pocket, and trails behind you slowly, occasionally patting your hip affectionately.

“It’s a nice day darling, everyone’s out an’ about.” You nod absentmindedly, lips parted, taking stock of every fruit and vegetable on display at the farmer’s market, lingering by a stand with goat milk soap.

“Oooh.” Your eyes light on a big inhale. “Smell it.” Johnny’s fingers wrap around yours, and he shrugs.

“Get it if ye want.” The shower is already littered with your things, soaps, razors, scrubs, hair… stuff, he’s not sure, but he’d never deny you anything. You could fill the whole flat with soaps for all he cared. The breeze teases between the two of you, a mischievous glitter in your eyes as you pocket the bar of lavender soap and make your way to the next table, as he hands over some money to the soap maker.

“Do you think he’ll make it home for Halloween?” You’re wistful, looking at a collection of wreaths, twine twisted together with a smattering of autumn colors. His lips roll to smother a smile.

“Not sure. I’m sure it willnae be much longer.” You lean into him, shoulder to chest, and his arm tightens around you instinctively. The sacrifices they’ve all made, you, himself, Simon, it’s all worth it for this. “Dinnae worry, darling. He’s jus’ fine.” You slump sadly.

“Let’s go home.”

Crossing the last block, jitters and excitement start to build in Johnny’s stomach, sliver of anxiety settling in the bottom, and he shoots a text off to let Simon know how close they are.

It doesn’t matter though, because he’s standing there on the sidewalk, freshly showered, grinning.

“Simon!” You screech, dropping your bags and taking off in a run, launching yourself into him, his arms coming around your waist, his lips on yours and then to your ear, murmuring something soft as he rubs your back.

Johnny closes the gap and settles in on the other side, his head on Simon’s shoulder, a kiss placed to his forehead. “Missed ye.”

“Missed you both.” Your eyes are wet, and they both manage to land a kiss on your cheeks. You rest your head on Simon’s chest, and reach for Johnny’s hand.

“All together again.” You breathe happily, content, and Johnny’s heart warms.

“Aye darling. All together again.”

[ohitslen]

Sharing a meal

I wrote something for this below the cut if you’re interested :)

They never eat anything too tasty, surviving with packeted rations and canned food in their journey. Sometimes they would stop at a little restaurant and eat a nice meal; it really tasted like something gourmet after days of going with grain bars and dry jerky.

There were fleeting moments in between conversations in which one of them would remember some dish, from back in the day when things were easier and they didn’t worry about too many things. They never went deeper into the topic, just mentioning how they missed a good meal.

Staying at an inn or any motel was an expensive thing to pay for. However sometimes they had some extra money from an odd job Vash did or from Wolfwood’s undertaker services, and they would always rent a room as a treat for themselves.

It was a surprise when they entered the room and saw a small kitchen. The space was a little too cramped but it had everything they needed, it was like a deluxe room when they though about all the places they had been at. None of them had a kitchen at all, maybe they had a tiny stove or a mini fridge, perhaps a table sometimes but never the whole set together.

They both looked at each other to confirm they really were seeing the thing, smiling excitedly.

They could make a meal for themselves.

Vash knew how to cook, he had done some work on kitchens throughout his life. A few times he helped Rem when he was a child, he knows how to defend himself. Yet he didn’t know any recipes by heart, not any that would be inside their budget at least. He could get creative and probably whip up a thing or two if he was given enough time.

“I know what to do” Wolfwood said with a smile that irradiated a melancholic warmth interrupting his thoughts . A smile Vash had only seen when he talked about the things he loved.

Vash didn’t suggest anything in the end and just followed what the other man told him to do.

He went to buy all the things Wolfwood asked him for. Vegetables and some thoma meat. There seemed to be some spices in the room so he only bought garlic and onion as per Wolfwood’s request.

When Vash got back, he found Nick at the table arranging the ingredients the kitchen already had. He was already showered, hair messy and with droplets of water hanging on the tips. Getting closer, he could smell the soap, the cheap shampoo and the lingering scent of nicotine that never seemed to go away. He was changed into a black, long sleeved shirt and a pair of loose dark blue pants.

His overall appearance made Vash think how the edges of the man were less sharp, he seemed more relaxed and at ease, even if it wasn’t entirely the case. He just looked, soft.

“Hey welcome back, did you bring what I asked you for or will I have to use your meat for this?” Wolfwood greeted him without looking up from his task, the ingredients being the most interesting thing in the world it seemed.

Something warm pooled at the pit of Vash’s stomach, he didn’t know why that was and didn’t bother to think about it either, just enjoying the feeling.

Smiling, he placed the bags on the table in front of Wolfwood, taking out its contents. “I’m sure I brought everything yeah, I hope my life can be spared”.

The priest snorted at him and grabbed a potato that was rolling off the table. “Aight then, make yourself useful and start washing these and then chop ‘em to reasonable bitable sizes”. Losing no time, he took the meat and was cutting it while giving out the instructions.

While Vash was washing and chopping, the other was already preparing the meat putting it in a pot with boiling water. Once Vash was finished with all he was asked to do, Wolfwood ushered him to take a shower while the food was done, wanting to have more space in the narrow place. Vash did as told in that as well.

The shower felt great, all of the gross stickiness from the sweat and other things were finally washed off from his body. He felt light and a thousand times more content.

As he opened the door the smell hit him in the face, a delicious scent that surely tasted even better. Wolfwood was stirring the pot, poking some of the potatoes to make sure they were on the right term, and they seemed to be as he turned off the stove.

Vash got closer, mouth already watering just from the thought of how it’d taste “That smells so good! What did you make?” He asked with a big grin plastered all over his face.

Wolfwood pointed at the table with his hand, signaling him to sit down a little dismissively while he looked for the bowls on his own. It seemed like he was the kind that with less people on the kitchen when he was there, the better. “Just a broth, nothing too wow it’s something easy, and on budget”. Vash hummed with wonder and served two cups of water to busy himself with something.

Wolfwood poured the two servings of the broth, it was still hot and the bowl must surely be scalding. Yet Wolfwood’s calloused hands never flinched, placing their food on the table without much trouble along with a pair of long spoons.

“Be careful or you will murder your tongue” he warned and Vash chuckled.

“Thanks for the heads up chef, ‘preciate it” the other just scoffed at the title and sat down across him .

They both mixed the broth while blowing at it in hopes for it to cool down a little. However seeing how they were both starving and didn’t care too much about getting burnt or not, they just started to dig in.

Wolfwood was eating eagerly, having spoonful after spoonful of his food. He was beyond delighted. It had been a long time since he had the chance to prepare the broth he used to have back at the Orphanage.

“It’s…delicious” he heard Vash say in a low and calm tone. When he looked up to see the man, he was shocked to find him with reddish eyes that were glistening with tears. It didn’t seem like when was doing a show or anything of the sorts, he just seemed…at peace.

It wasn’t anything extravagant, quite possibly one of the most simple dishes Vash has ever eaten. It was made with the things that they could afford with the little money they could spare, the ingredients were definitely not of the best quality, the vegetables could have used a little more time on the pot. And it was delicious.

Vash felt incredibly warm inside, similar to how he felt when Wolfwood greeted him when he got back, just a thousand times stronger. The first sip he had of it tasted like the best thing ever cooked in his whole life, something he would have every day of the year for the rest of eternity. He didn’t know why that was at first, but after having a second spoon of it he could tell what it was.

It tasted like home.

The flavor of it, it was homely, the savor of melancholy. It tasted like their conversations about missing the past. The tang of the times they would have a peaceful night in the desert grilling worm meat around a campfire. It reminded him when he got sick and an old lady had given him a bowl of soup. It tasted like the first time Rem had given them a try of what meat and vegetables tasted like. It tasted like all the things he missed, and the things Nicholas most likely missed too.

The familiarity of it made him feel fuzzy and full on the inside, and he couldn’t stop eating. He was slow while doing it, wanting to savor every bit of what he could have while it lasted. It was rich, it was simple and it was perfect.

“…You want some more?” At some point, Nicholas had already finished his own bowl and brought the pot over to serve himself again. He looked at Vash with something soft in his eyes the other could not name, his voice was gentle and gravely, sweet and easy on his ears just adding more to the warmth inside of him.

“Yes…yes please” Vash answered, voice cracking a little. Nicholas served him, the sound of the liquid being poured soothing his soul.

Vash ate again, and Wolfwood was looking at him. The priest was taking small sips of water from his cup, always holding it against his mouth even if he wasn’t drinking anything. Vash didn’t really notice when he had started tearing up, thick streams of salty water running through his cheeks, a pool of them welling up at his chin and falling down the wooden table making a puddle of happy tears.

Vash enjoyed the heartfelt broth. He was happy, that bit of simplicity was enough to make him forget of everything else and just focus on that moment.

It was so mundane. Vash smiled with overflowing tears in his eyes while Wolfwood just watched with a fond smile of his own behind his empty cup of water.

At that moment, they were not in a random room at a random place. They were in a place where they had brought their home to, sharing a meal with each other.

[frankiensteinsmonster]

Is it invalid to worry about your environmental impact as a person who lives on this planet (especially when loads of other people seem to live in ignorant bliss or openly just do not care)?

Not at all.

But as disabled people* I really think we should allow ourselves those accommodations we need/that would make our lives easier.

Bottled body wash lathers easier and saves you that tiny bit of energy while you're washing up? Can't seem take care of your bar of soap so it runs out fast because it's always wet and actively makes your bathroom harder to clean? You deserve to preserve your energy and keep yourself clean. Use it.

Bottled water means your executive dysfunction won't get in the way of you getting hydrated? Means you can keep water by your bed so you don't have to endure the physical pain of walking to the kitchen? Means your OCD symptoms won't prevent you from drinking water for hours-days at a time? You deserve to drink water without stressing. Drink it.

Paper plates and plastic utensils mean you get to eat without having to worry about dishes + prevents you from having an overwhelming sink full of every dish you own covered in rotting, smelly food that may even attract bugs and cause them to breed in your sink? You deserve to eat freely and live in a clean and safe environment. Use them.

Can't wash clothes on the regular let alone cleaning rags due to energy/executive function, ability, finances, ect.? Use paper towels. For whatever reason you need them. Spills so you don't take up your only clean towel and risk it sitting + developing mold and mildew. Wiping off your counters. Dusting. Drying your dishes. Drying your hands. I literally do not give a fuck. Use them!

Use frozen vegetables that come in plastic bags and frozen meals that come in single use plastic and floss sticks and plastic cups and precut fruit and veg and whatever little necessary 'convenience' you can think of that makes your life easier. Just because you Technically, Physically can pull it off doesn't mean you should and it's important we think about the consequences of our actions even if we're the only ones really impacted by them. You're important. And for a lot of us, these things are what makes the difference between Getting Things Done At All and sitting in shame because we can't bring ourselves to make our own everything and do everything the long or right way. We put too much pressure on ourselves to make up for what abled people aren't doing themselves. If Anybody deserves a break it's us.

Don't misconstrue this as discouragement from doing what you can or whatever, but I need all of us to be a lot more realistic about what impacts our lives and which trade offs are worth it for our own sake.

It's unfortunate that we don't have options for more sustainable resources when it comes to taking care of ourselves, but it shouldn't fall on us to choose between a significantly more difficult life or feeling guilt free. Advocate where you can for better treatment of the planet, and until that can happen-- non-disabled people can and should pick up the slack for us. They literally have that option and the impact they face is an infinitesimal inconvenience compared to the real health/quality of life consequences that build up in such a severe way over time. We deserve that little bit of leeway.

*disabled includes both physical and mental ailments on this post btw

[vitalnourish]

What’s really in our food?

Recently, many people have been checking the ingredient lists of our food to determine if it is ultra-processed. We are able to see strange sounding ingredients on the back, but what exactly do they do to our food?

Let’s examine a proclaimed ‘healthy’ food, a gluten free KIND bar. Its ingredients include;

tapioca syrup, produced from tapioca starch that is used as a thickener, sweetener, and stabiliser. It has been linked to causing fatty liver disease.

vegetable glycerin, a sugar alcohol that is a byproduct of the soap and biodiesel industry. It can lead to nausea and diarrhoea.

palm kernel oil, made by the bleaching, deodorising and neutralising of crude palm oil. It increases levels of bad cholesterol.

Keep in mind that these effects are shown when the ingredients are eaten in excess, however 60%-90% of the average American diet are full of these foods (that are ultra processed). Learn your ingredients!

Sources;

Dr. Chris van Tulleken

Learn - the whole truth. (n.d.). The Whole Truth Foods. https://thewholetruthfoods.com/learn

[amorgansgal]

A Full Heart

Hi, it's me again, being very broody and wanting Halsin to have so many babies! Inspired by @neontokyoo's post here I wrote a little something something about Halsin being a girl dad and having twins, because I just couldn't resist, ok??

Halsin x Female Tav

‘More girls and twins to boot, I don’t envy Halsin, that’s going to be a lot of work!’ 

Halsin had been tending the kitchen gardens in Reithwin when he heard voices float through the windows and it made him stop his work. His oldest daughter, Lyra, was still toddling about happily, her hands covered in mud (which he had to make sure she didn’t end up putting in her mouth) and she’d been eagerly ‘helping’ him as much as a two year old could. They had to replant a couple of things that weren’t ready to be cooked in the kitchen, though it warmed his heart to hear her hysterical laughter at a tiny little carrot. 

‘Baby carrot!’ she had crowed as though it were the funniest thing in the world. 

Now, he was distracted and continued to listen in to the conversation. Elves often had twins, so the fact that he now had two new babies wasn’t too much of a surprise and he had sensed them long before they were born. He had been thrilled that not only was he going to be a father again, but twins were seen as a blessing in Elven culture.

‘I know, he must be so disappointed that she’s given him more girls. Still, she’s young, still time for him to have a son.’

‘Not that young,’ someone else said sniffily. 

His blood simmered with irritation that they would speak so dismissively of his love, especially when she had been through the hells to birth their children and all of them were happy, healthy and safe. Why would they think that this wasn’t a blessing? Boy or girl, it hardly mattered as long as the child was happy and healthy. And he was delighted with them. Ara had been born with an almost disgruntled, dissatisfied look on her face as though she were appalled she had been forced to leave her safe, warm home. And Thalia had cried loudly, until she got to hold her twin’s hand while being held on Tav’s chest. Halsin almost wept at how perfect and beautiful they were.  And in comparison to himself, Tav was young and there was plenty of time to have more children - well, at least he hoped so. If Tav decided three were enough he wouldn’t force them to bear more, but truth be told, he had been hoping for five or six children.

He inhaled deeply, calming himself and got to his feet, quickly swooping Lyra up so she let out a little shriek of joy. Halsin smiled at her and picked up the basket of vegetables. ‘Come, let us put some rumours to rest and wash your hands and face, so your mother can see you.’

‘Stuff and nonsense, he’s always loved looking after the children, after all he was delighted when-’ one of the gossiping women was saying when he strolled into the kitchen. 

‘Oh Halsin!’ one of the older women cried out, he was glad to see the group at least had the decency to look ashamed. After a long silence, she continued, ‘We were just saying-’

‘I know full well,’ he put the basket down and carried Lyra over to a bucket of water, she happily splashed her hands in the cold water and squirmed when Halsin attempted to rub her hands with a bar of soap. It slipped from his grasp and fell into the bucket with a loud plop. Lyra giggled and reached in to grab it, the soap momentarily shot up to the surface and then disappeared again.

‘Slippy soap!’ his daughter cried out.

He fished the soap out and continued to clean his daughter’s hands. He almost felt a little bad that the women were nervously watching him, waiting with baited breath as to what he would do or say. He was no longer archdruid, he wasn’t exactly going to berate them especially in front of his child, however much he would like to. Once Lyra’s face and hands were clean from the mud, he lifted her back up.

‘Rather than speaking behind mine or my loved one’s back, I will assure you I am quite happy and content with three girls. If we have sons, then all well and good, but my heart has never been more full or delighted than with my daughters. We are not in the cities anymore, where such foolish, simple minded rules and beliefs exist concerning a man’s expectations of his wife or lover. Now, if you’ll excuse me,’ he said. ‘I must see to Tav.’

He did not wait for the women to speak further, but left the room. Lyra clung to him tightly and beamed up at him. He smiled at her, that look of adoration and happiness was all he lived for, what did he care if anyone else pitied him or thought he was weak or foolish for not being disappointed? As they approached their house, Lyra wiggled excitedly.

‘Mama?’ she asked.

‘Yes, we’re going to see Mama, and your new little sisters.’

[itsabouttimex2]

Yandere ‘Sister’ Himiko Toga

“She needs help. I can’t just do nothing.”

Those words sound like they’re straight from the mouth of a hero. It’s the sort of thing she’s wanted to hear since her childhood, ever since her parents decided that the proper way of dealing with a “deviant child” was to send her to a shady therapist and demand that she become normal for the sake of keeping up appearances.

You step to her side, gently taking the back of her head into your hand and boosting it up, using your other hand to support her thighs as you pick her up. You carry her close to your body, sharing your warmth with the young girl.

This is all she’s ever wanted, she thinks.

Then she wakes up on a couch, a blanket draped across her form. A change of clothes is folded neatly next to her, clean and inviting. Water, painkillers, and two granola bars. She rips into the bars with reckless abandon, scarfing down the water and pills after them. However, she’s almost ginger with the nightgown, tenderly stroking her fingers across the soft fabric with a little smile. She wastes no time in tearing her clothes off, throwing them one after another into the laundry basket across the room. She pulls the nightgown on, humming and twirling around like she wasn’t face down in the streets a while ago.

When she’s spun herself dizzy, she flops back onto the couch, snuggling into the blanket once again, snatching up the note you’ve left for her.

“I’ll be back around 5 PM. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. You can use whatever you’d like in the restroom if you want to take a bath or shower. I’ll wash your clothes when I get back.”

Himiko grins even wider, clutching the note to her chest. It’s nearly 5 already… so she’ll get to meet her rescuer soon, won’t she? You’ve been so nice already, and all without even speaking a word to her.

Until then, she has a date with the shower and all of your nice smelling soaps.

———

“I hope you don’t mind stew. I didn’t have a chance to head to the the store, so I’m using leftovers today.” You place a bowl loaded with beef and vegetables in front of her, and she snatches it towards herself with glee.

Today. Does that mean she’ll get to come back? That you’ll let her stay?

She tilts the bowl to her lips, taking deep gulps of the hearty broth. It’s filling and savory, warming her inside and out. It tastes like home. It tastes like love. She has a second bowl, and then a third, longing to fill herself with that taste.

You smile as you wash the dishes, noting the fluttering of her eyes as you scrub down a pot.

“If you need to stay the night, I can fix you up the guest room.” Your tone is warm and soft, completely sincere.

You ask no questions. You offer no judgement. You ask for nothing in return. You just… give. Selflessly, you give.

It feels like home already. So why would she leave? If you’re letting her stay… then you’re basically already family, right?

Hope you enjoy having a bloodthirsty little sister, Y/N.

[blarefordaglare]

Grandmothers and Soup

Or: Wild and Wind’s grandma make soup together, chaos ensues because that’s what I live for.

_____

“So, you cook for my grandson?” The older women looked at the champion, his knife slicing through the fish. Her wings held a similar sandy blue to the sailor, yet faded with time.

“Yup,” 

“Are you making soup?”

“Yup,” The cubed bass made its way to the skillet, along with a couple of vegetables, courtesy of the villager’s welcoming. 

The grandmother’s eyes squinted, “You’re making it wrong.” She saw the cook’s grip harden around the knife, but still continued, “Really wrong.” 

“Well,” Wild chose his words carefully,   the familiar phrase ‘respect your elders’ ringing in his mind, “How should I cook it?” 

The older woman grabbed the spoon, smiling, “Glad you asked.” Opening the cupboard, a small jar, holding spices with aromas that mix in ever the perfect shape, “You need this, it’s the secret ingredient.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” 

“Of course I’m sure,” the woman smiled as she handed Link the bowl of soup, “There is plenty to go around.” 

Link grinned, chiming a quick ‘thank you’ before heading back to his waiting family. 

“I got an extra bowl of soup for you!” He grinned as he presented the warm bowl to his sister, “You wanted it, right?” 

The younger girl in question smiled, “Thank you!” Link nodded in accomplishment, watching the other’s wings sparkle with a cheery hue, before dimming again, “Is it true you’re going to the castle?” 

Link’s smile temporarily faltered, before forcing it back up again, “Yeah, but I’ll be back before you know it! It’s not like I’m going to die there.”

The two share a laugh. 

“So see you later?” 

“See you later!” 

…

Link Wild’s eyes flashed back into reality as he stared blankly at the older women, “And here I thought I was the only one who had senior moments,” she laughed, “You’re still young, but then again time flies for heroes like you.” 

Wild gave a small smile as he gazed back at the pot, “Soup’s done?”

“Not quite yet, we need to let it sit, have I introduced you to Aryll yet?” The grandmother placed the dirty cookware in the sink, preparing to wash later.

“No, you haven’t,” His head shook, “Wind- ah, Link’s sister, right?” 

“That’s right,” she agreed, “Aryll, come say hi to our guest!” 

Hyrule watched as the pair walked away, and then gazed back at the soup. Taking the ladle, he slowly parted his lips to try the warm liquid, “Something’s off…” 

Opening his pouch, he took some spare wood bark -that’s what cinnamon was made of, right?- gazing at it before chucking it in the pot. The soup also didn’t seem too thick, so he also grabbed an ear of corn, for some cornstarch.

Cornstarch thickened things up, right?

A couple rocks could also be used for minerals as well… 

A few extra ingredients later, and the soup looked fixed. The traveler smiled in accomplishment before ladling the soup in bowls, so it could cool off.

A delicious soup indeed.

Bonus:

Wind’s grandma + wild: Here’s the soup!

Wind: This soup tastes like s[REDACTED]

Warriors: *somehow teleports into the scene, holding a bar of soap* WHAT DID I JUST HEAR???

——

second fanfic will be posted later tonight