#using detransitioning to hate on all trans people
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guess this is a first for me. someone i’ve been sort of friends with and talked to on tumblr and has helped me with crochet patterns and invited me to their crochet server turns out to be a terf so i had to block her 😭
transphobia?? in this year of our lord 2024?? grow the fuck up
BLOCK ME IF YOU DO NOT RESPECT TRANS PEOPLE. DO ME A FAVOR I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE BEING ASSHOLES BECAUSE THEY DONT UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THATS NOT MEANT FOR THEM
also you don’t need to understand something to not be a dick about it. just mind your own goddamn business and leave people alone
i’m sorry I guess I just needed to rant a little
#whyyy#I had to scroll for a while before I found anything that was blatantly terf#but I’ve been noticing some random posts that are like#using detransitioning to hate on all trans people#blatantly missgendering someone under a tiktok#calling teenage boys defending a trans girl#misogyny in action#because they were defending her from a cow girl#*a cis girl autocorrect wtf#The post that sealed the deal was talking about how taking biology classes made this person a terf#you should’ve taken psychology too. biology does not explain the human brain#blue rambles#i’ve been noticing these posts for like a week or so#I just kept hoping they would go away#hhhhhhhh#update:#I put on my new sweater and it’s so soft and I feel better#also I’m gonna eat some food which I’m sure will make me feel even better
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i guess while you're studying the blade i shall protect dysphoric people in my humongous blanket full of secrets and treasures and awesome foreign snacks that i totally bought with real money
#lay text#ponderings#op is high tag#kinda..... barely...... very silly post but idk. i care so deeply about ppl suffering like i used to as a detrans woman#dysphoric ppl ilysm i have been in your shoes. those shoes suck they're the worst thing to put your feet into. i'm sorry ur going thru that#if you're misogyny affected i'm in your corner and you deserve to have a place and a voice in radfeminism... or at least tirfism#i advocate for better education abt transition and the destruction of the affirmation-only model of trans/dysphoric healthcare#i hate how the tq+ community is handling dysphoric ppl#and non-dysphoric trans ppl often speak over y'all#if you are here you are probably fed up with the status quo of the tq+ community and how homophobic & misogynistic they can be#you might be realizing that your oppression as an ofab/female person doesn't just disappear thru trans identification or transition#or if you're transfem you might be here bc you hate how ofab/female folks are treated and you hate the anti-homosexual rhetoric#and are looking for a healthy middle ground between discussing anti-transfem oppression without belittling anti-female/ofab oppression#either way so long as you're not misogynistic against cis/bio women & transmascs or homophobic against exclusive same-sex/osab#you're welcome in my corner of radblr. i gotchu#the ableism against dysphoric ppl can get really unhinged#but as someone with a fuckton of disorders who was blessed to have my dysphoria heal i want you to have proper healthcare#and i want to help stop all the painful detransitions happening#(which also backfire as extra transphobia/gncphobia/ableism against trans people anyways)#something needs to change#and i rly think it'll happen on radblr#as imperfect as it is#so yeah. i shall protect anyone with a mental disorder/difference and that includes ppl with debilitating dysphoric disorders#especially misogyny-affected dysphoric people#anyways. ily non-bigoted trans & dysphoric ppl 🧡#take care of urselves. things will get better in the lgbtq community over time i promise#and radblr isn't what it seems at first glance#it has its toxic side ofc but so many good sides too#ty for being here#tirf
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as an intersex trans wo/man, i've noticed that unfortunately it has become painfully obvious that not only do radfems and terfs try to abuse trans men into falling in line with their beliefs, but unfortunately, this happens to trans women and transfemmes as well. i've unfortunately seen several trans women fall down the the "men evil, women innocent, trans men have cis male privilege, trans men don't struggle, trans men aren't men or trans they're just confused butches," pipeline really quickly after transitioning or their eggs cracking, and it's not necessarily that transfem's fault, but rather an abusive person sweeping in to take advantage of someone who needs and wants validation in feeling like a woman. the person who put the terf ideals in their head during this crucial stage in development is to blame, it is not inherently the trans woman's fault.
vulnerable transfems and trans women become indoctrinated into these things. trans women and fems are not inherently bitter, shitty, hateful people. it's a select few who become groomed by radfems who push this belief, and push it hard, because that's what you do when youve been indoctrinated into a cult. it's not an issue inherent to trans women and transfeminism at all- it's vulnerable people being groomed. this is a serious issue of trans women and fems being groomed and brainwashed.
this is a huge deal and we have to stand up for each other, because the transfems getting groomed into this need support and help to get out of this cult. it is not okay for women who are just trying to find their footing to almost instantly get sucked up into a literal hate group. we have to help trans people who become indoctrinated into gender essentialism, antimasculism, and transandrophobia just as much as we help other trans people unlearn transmisogyny. these issues are both damaging our community on the whole.
radfems are aggressive and will try to indoctrinate anyone they can into antimasculism, transandrophobia, and gender essentialism. a lot of trans women in the early stages of transition really want to be validated as women and such, will become groomed by these groups of cis women who will gladly feed them toxic ideals like women can never be wrong, women are always innocent, men are always harmful and evil, it just benefits the radfems, not the trans woman. this behavior grooms yet another person into spreading radfeminism without realizing it. when one espouses these beliefs they become a spokesperson for radfeminism and terfism
i'm plain tired of seeing this argument, because it is nothing but gender essentialist binarist bullshit:
"transphobia is worse for trans women than trans men because of x, y, z."
its not worse. its different. but equal.
i understand that many folks have not lived the life a trans man leads, but whenever you try to speculate on what it's like, you will always be wrong, no matter what, because you weren't in that person's shoes. it's impossible to see the nitty gritty of how a specific group of people are treated unless you are that person or spend lots of time around large groups of those types of people. trans men face homelessness at a disproportionately high rate compared to other groups of queer folk. we also deal with forced detransition. we deal with being dehumanized by she/her pronouns. we deal with having lesbianism and butchness weaponized against us. we also deal with sexual violence. we also deal with physical, mental, and emotional abuse. we deal with gaslighting, lying, being robbed, abandoned, injured and killed. its virtually impossible to find support if you're a pregnant trans man.
trans men have a lot of unique struggles. this is not a comprehensive list, but rather to show you that ALL trans people struggle. we are united under the same banner of transphobic treatment. we are struggling, but we are struggling together, and we can uplift each other without tearing each other down. punching down on another trans person hurts us all.
belittling the trauma of other trans people is a form of queer infighting that terfs want you to do in order to fracture our community further. queer infighting doesn't help anyone whatsoever. trans men do not have it harder than trans women. trans women do not have it harder than trans men. amab and afab and intersex enbies don't have it worse than each other. these are all completely different and unique struggles that deserve to be acknowledged for what they are. you cannot use the same scale of severity for a totally different problem.
people love to completely gloss over the issues trans men face for the sake of believing that all men benefit from patriarchy. saying that trans men are not affected by specific kinds of transphobia is spreading the radfem belief that only women struggle under patriarchy. queer men, men of color, intersex men, gay men, bisexual men, trans men, polyamorous men, genderfluid men, bigender men, gender non conforming men, feminine men, men who crossdress, disabled men, neurodivergent men, mentally ill men, and other marginalized men suffer under patriarchy as well.
i'm not tolerating radfem gender essentialism being woven into queer ideals anymore. this behavior has to go. when you genuinely believe these things, we all lose.
#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#trans#transgender#transfeminine#transmasculine#trans man#trans men#transfemme#transfem#trans woman#trans women#trans guy#trans community#ftm#non binary#nonbinary#enby#genderqueer#our writing
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“Feminism isn’t for everyone! Stop coddling men!”
Honestly? The people I’ve actually been having to coddle lately are the cis women saying these things. Literally all I have been saying is that excluding men from feminism and openly hating them, openly considering them the enemy for the way they were born, hurts the feminist cause in addition to hurting men.
But over and over again I have to hold these cis women’s hands and walk them through the very very basics of feminism, all while reassuring them “it’s okay, I’m not blaming you, I’ve been hurt and traumatized by men too, you aren’t responsible for this.” Meanwhile they’re calling me a dirty evil man who sees all women as walking babymakers who need to serve and tend to men (not even exaggerating, unfortunately), when I’m not even a man in the first place.
In reality, men are not causing harm by existing, while these cis women are genuinely causing harm by openly despising them. I’ve seen how many trans guys refuse to come out, delay their transition, or detransition (as I very nearly did myself) because of man-hating sentiments and people refusing to see that we are affected by sexism. This harms cis men, and it also harms trans women and transfems who get seen as men (either by transphobes or because of how they’re perceived, including closeted trans women/fems). Additionally, it hurts the feminist cause and fight against sexism to drive away half the population from supporting us.
At this point, these folks can talk to the wall, I am not arguing anymore. I will leave that vital work to those with more energy and patience for it than I currently have after being called a misogynist so many times. I will continue to engage in feminism, but I will focus on antisexism first and foremost.
#there are more ways these sentiments are harmful but this is already getting really long#antisexism#inclusive feminism#transandrophobia#sexism#cissexism#long post#ase
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Think about it! Trans people are a small minority of humanity. Detransitioners are an even smaller minority within that. The majority of detransitioners do so cuz of safety and money, not because they weren't actually trans. People detransitioning cuz they arent trans is so incredibly rare. So a rare minority of a rare minority of a minority. And yet somehow almost every terf blog is a detransitioner? It can't be real. It's so convenient to the bigots that all these "detransitioners" would just agree with them! Statistically speaking, it just can not be true.
They are lying. The majority of "detransitioners" on this site are lying.
They did not actually transition medically. They identified as trans and realized later they weren't trans. They never pursued a medical transition through hrt but use this previous experience to claim they "detransitioned" even though they never "transitioned" with hrt.
Even in the really really rare case of a legit detransitioned terf, their ideology is wrong. Bigotry isn't suddenly chill cuz you realized you weren't lgbt/trans.
If someone who isn't a terf claims to be a detransitioner, I'm more than willing to take them seriously with no extra. But, the fact that every other trans woman hating rad fem is supposedly "detransitioned" it can't be true. It's literally impossible. I'm always skeptical of terf "detransitioners" cuz they are liars.
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TERFs feel ownership over transmasc bodies. We already know they think we don’t deserve to make our own decisions about what to do with them, that we’re mentally ill or delusional or autistic or just trying to escape misogyny. But I also think they look at us and see nothing but themselves. They see their pain, their trauma, what they could have become if only things were different. And they conclude that, therefore, they know better than us. They know what we really need: to be converted to TERFism and detransitioned. After all, we’re ruining our poor, beautiful, fertile “female” bodies that they so covet.
This happens a hundredfold when the transmasc in question is their own kid. My transphobic mother would tell me my body is hers and therefore she could do whatever she wanted with it. She was joking until she wasn’t. TERF moms act as though it’s their own breasts being “cut off,” testosterone being put in their own bodies, their own uterus being removed, without their consent. They’ll tell you to your face they know you better than you know yourself, their words dripping with manufactured sympathy, because after all we’re the same: we’re both “female.”
If you haven’t already, please familiarize yourself with how radical feminism looks and how to spot a TERF beyond them saying they hate trans women. You don’t want to see these people around for any longer than it takes to block them.
#none of what I listed means you shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions about your body — just listing what they use against us#this comes from my experiences with my mom + ones I’ve read on here + JK rowling’s essay where she does this + Caelan Conrad’s GC series#transandrophobia#transphobia#TE/RFism#rad/feminism tag#mine#transmasc#trans man#ftm
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God I think I actually prefer explicit fascist transmisogyny in comparison to the disguised dogwhistly liberal transmisogyny.
Like the people who openly call me an autogynephile and other various slurs and tell me to kill myself are at least being honest. They don't bullshit me about hating my very existence and wanting me to die.
It's all the faux-loving forms of transmisogyny that really make me angry. Like it makes my skin crawl in its dishonesty and hypocrisy. And it takes so many forms. Like the transmisogynist christian "hate the sin, not the sinner" approach where they claim to love me and just want me to accept Jesus in my heart. The necessary condition for accepting their version of Jesus however is me detransitioning, and that would kill me.
There is the terfy "people with gender dysphoria are suffering and they need help but we can't endanger women's sex-based rights for them." i've even seen in arguments about legal gender changes the following: "of course trans women deserve to use women's spaces, but if we allow legal gender self-id evil cis men will take advantage of that. So trans women will have to have their rights restricted." Even J.K. Rowling used it in her terf manifesto.
It makes one yearn for the days of the ur-terf book "The Transsexual Empire" which had the "shemale" slur in its subtitle and in which the author Janice Raymond argued trans women rape real women by the fact of their very existence. That kind of brazen transmisogyny at least had some kind of honesty about it.
There is also the transmisogynist callout culture fandom, or as the japanese fittingly call them: the american feelings yakuza. They callout transfems for problematic kinks like at least once a week but deny transmisogyny. "oh we don't believe all transfems are evil predatory sex perverts, it's just that this particular transfem is."
Their evidence for her being sexual predatory is that she ships two fictional siblings. Or in meatspace meetings, things like her having "bad vibes" ("bad vibes" or "gut instinct" are polite words for what more sensible people call "ingrained bias") .
And they suspiciously keep on making callouts for transfem after transfem in a neverending series, trying to ruin her reputation and socially exile her, but of course they are not transmsiogynists.
There is also the sofboi transandrobro type of transmisogyny. They spread the vilest transmisogyny but always falls back on a terfy bioessentialism to claim ontological innocence and perpetual victimhood in all situations. I've literally seen someone say "how can i be a misogynist, i'm literally afab." These people will not say directly "shut up about your oppression, stupid tranny", but say it in coded form. I had one guy traumadump to me about his rape in vivid detail to make the point that (trans)men suffer more and imply that transfems don't suffer from sexual violence.
And that's the crux of the issue. Open hate barely fazes me anymore, unless there is an immediate threat of physical violence. But being condescended to, being emotionally manipulated, being faced with people veiling their hatred of transfems behind a veil of superficially loving rhetoric, that does make me angry. And these people always use my anger against me. "Why are you so angry when these people are being so polite and nice to you?" And that's because the point of these rhetorical approaches is to have plausible deniability for your bigotry and make transfems look crazy when they point it out.
Yet it's the same bigotry as the explicit version, it's just more dishonest about it. Like if had the They Live glasses and looked at the rhetoric, it would just read "exterminate all transfems." All those polite liberals believe the same thing about transfems as the neo-nazis openly calling for us to be hanged, they just lack the virtue of being honest about it.
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I went back, read the FAQ, figured out I was working with bad information, and would like to present an actually polite version of the previous ask.
The other women you were having the "AFAB trans woman" debate with haven't been able to let go of it,
because anons have been accusing them of gatekeeping and TERF politics for providing anecdotes of, basically, AFAB people identifying as trans women to mock or overthrow their social groups. Citations below:
https://strawberry-crocodile.tumblr.com/post/742523159739334656/aita-for-warning-new-transfem-friends-that-someone
https://necronatural.tumblr.com/post/754196456131428352/sorry-but-if-youre-afab-you-do-not-get-to-call
I understand that the brazen, all-caps-bold-text mockery of any ask on this topic is great for driving off hateful anons pointed at you,
but if you could lend some credit to @patricia-taxxon 's responses, for example, it'd help take some hate off her back and really hep build my respect for you as an artist.
This will be likely my last proper response on any of this so be chill about it
I really, genuinely do not care that much about this subject much at all. It is a passing thought to me. I made the original post, responded once or twice, and made a quesadilla. it was fucking delicious. I do not appreciate the way you have talked to me. If you're going to treat yourself like someone I have to earn the respect back of instead of a random stranger on the internet who was very brazen to me in a one-off inbox message, I am not going to care.
With that out of the way: I have read the citations you have listed. I do not care. I have read them, thoroughly considered their points, and I still do not give a shit. What you are pointing at here in the first one is an individual perpetrating shitty behavior. I am not saying that this is the case, but if there was an assigned-male-at-birth woman perpetrating the same information, it would become very apparent very quickly how obvious it is that the issue is not with their gender identity, it is with the information they are spreading. Anyone is capable of misinformation, and I am not going to shit on and belittle a completely niche gender identity because one woman on the internet fucked up one time. If I did that, I'd be a hypocrite and would not be practicing any sort of good faith towards people with gender identities I do not fully understand. This is a core tenant of how I approach queerness. I do not need to understand someone to respect them. I do not need to worry about how conservatives will see us. I do not need to worry about the larger queer community when one person is being off-putting. I am not a fucking square. I achieve a lot of inner peace by simply practicing what you have named "tits-and-beer gender liberalism".
The second post you have linked is also something that I have read. I have considered the points in said post. My stance has still not changed. I do not think ID'ing as a transfeminine person when you were assigned female at birth is an inherently transphobic concept. Plenty of people in my notes have described experiences that very clearly and understandably outline why they do or why others might identify with the concept. I fundamentally disagree with the response because I do not believe that it is a transphobic idea. I am a transgender woman and have been for about half a decade now. My relationship with femininity is complex, and I am a binary transgender woman. I think in the grand scheme of gender identities, switching from one binary to the other has been pretty easy for me mentally. I am not intersex, I have never detransitioned in any way, and my family has been incredibly supportive. I transitioned specifically for the euphoria I got from identifying as a woman. I still have a complicated relationship with womanhood. Someone who has gone through many more hardships than I have is probably going to have an even more complicated relationship with femininity, and that is why I have no trouble imagining why something like an AFAB trans woman would exist. Perhaps someone has a complicated relationship with gender in relation to their intersex status and feels that the journey that transgender women take more closely aligns with their own rather than cisgender womanhood. Perhaps they are non-binary and have still transitioned to a more feminine-leaning identity. Perhaps they have de-transitioned, but now they are irreversibly changed by that experience and they are, in a way of thinking, "trans-feminine" because they are transitioning back to femininity. It is not hard for me to think of reasons. It is not saying that trans women are not real women. I think it is very clear to me that "transfem" can easily describe an experience with femininity that differs from the cisgender experience. It is no less valid, it is simply different, as with all things.
"Transfem" can mean "a man transitioning into a woman", but it can also describe a complex approach towards self-identification. We can argue semantics all we want, but I do not care personally. I do not think transfem means transitioning from man to woman exclusively. I am a binary transgender woman, and I do not agree that that is all it is. My journey as a transgender individual has been very uncomplicated compared to others, but it is still an ocean deep. I do not want to reduce that journey and identification down to a simple "man become woman" because that betrays the inherent complexity of transitioning and figuring out yourself.
Ultimately, to me, it comes down to not giving a shit. I am rarely, if ever, going to meet an AFAB transfem person. You are rarely, if ever, going to meet an AFAB transfem person. It is an incredibly niche gender identity with a lot of baggage, as we have seen. It is never going to matter in the broad scheme of things that they exist because 99% of people are not going to bring them up in the wider conversation about transfemininity. I know that finding your identity can be a rough, arduous process. I am not going to deprive someone of the joy of self-discovery, even if it is a complex or contradictory idea. I do not fully understand neopronouns. I do not fully understand things like polyamory or he/him lesbians or AFAB transfems. I do not need to. In real life, you hang out with people and share food and good times together. None of this shit matters. If I am ever so lucky to meet someone with a contradictory or confusing identity, I am happy that my words may provide them comfort and that they won't live to hide themselves around me. Making someone feel like they have to hide parts of their self is the last thing I would ever want anyone to experience.
I have no beef with Patricia. I quite like her work. When I saw her response, I disagreed. I still do. I am not going to start agreeing with an idea I am expressly opposed to because someone asked. But it is not the end of the world. I would appreciate, if my followers are sending her harassment, that they fucking stop, because it's not that big a deal. If anyone from my post is sending anyone hate because of a public disagreement on that post, I ask you kindly to stop and go outside. I do not condone the behavior. It is not that big a deal.
I am going to go make myself a ham and egg sandwich and practice tits and beer gender liberalism now. I hope this satisfies your request in some way.
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i'm transmasc and i think another part of the reason for transandrobro shit is like... myself and almost every other trans man i know have a story of a cis woman or tme nb person who does not identify as a man that's used gender essentialist "men bad, women good" rhetoric to manipulate them, abuse them, convince them to recloset themselves and/or detransition, etc. as a trans guy with moral ocd that shit kept me in the closet for a long time. BUT i also understand that this doesn't happen bc these people "hate men" - it happens because they're transphobes who want to see us detransition. but i think a LOT of guys who experience this go "wow. these people hate men. misandry must be real! this is WOMEN'S fault!" instead of, like, recognizing that the problem is transphobia. then of course they start punching down at trans women, because they're the easiest group to take that anger out on. it's inexcusable imo and i hate them bc i can't talk abt the actual abuse i've faced without sounding like i'm saying "WAH THE FEMINISTS HATE ME FOR BEING A MAN," because, like, that's what they say, all the time every day. sorry for the ramble lol it's infuriating.
you’re totally right — the only thing i’d add is that of course that same gender essentialist “men bad, women good” rhetoric is not ever used in the defence of trans women’s place in the community — indeed, it is nigh exclusively used to deny US respect, space, rights, etc. and if anything used for this at a greater rate, more commonly etc.
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Why I will never support the radical feminist movement, as a detransitioning woman.
note: this is not meant to be any sort of hit piece or slander, I respect every feminist, even ones I disagree with. This is just my reasoning for why I do not like the radfem movement.
For a bit of context, I’ve indentified as trans since I was 12. At 18, I’ve decided to live my life as a lesbian woman, and i’ve never been happier with that choice.
Now, being a young trans man, I interacted a lot with pro trans content online (of course I did), and so of course I’ve heard about radical feminism. A passionate branch of feminism that takes a unique approach to women’s rights- deconstructing gender entirely. It sounds wonderful in theory, because of course gender is oppressive, most notably of women. I would know, being one. Even when I was trans I had to worry about being out at night. I even got chased once, and a man attempted to lure me to his truck another time. It’s brutal. But radical feminists devote their activism to ending this in a straightforward, logical way.
So why do I, a woman who has experienced both misogyny and transphobia, not support that? I feel that this is a good question for both trans allies and radfems alike to to ask. Knowledge is power.
Well, I’ll be direct. Radfems are some of the most depraved people i’ve ever met. I know, that sounds like a lot, but there’s no other words I can use that don’t perfectly encapsulate my experience with radfems. It’s depravity.
For weeks, I was harassed by transphobic radfems. Radfems, who are insistent on their love and support for TIFs aka trans men. It’s strange then that they would be so cruel towards one, wouldn’t you say?
Detransition is hard enough. It’s difficult to tell family that you were wrong. It’s difficult to reconnect with my gender. Hell, i prefer the term detrans over cis just because i have such a disconnect from my gender. So why do I have to deal with transphobic radfems sending me gore and death threats?
Thankfully all of the accounts doing this seem to be deleted or repurposed. But it’s only a matter of time until a new account is made just to send me an ask telling me to kill myself or a message about how much of a loser i am.
It’s this reason alone why i’ll never be a radfem. They’re just sick people. They don’t want liberation for women, they just hate trans people. It’s not even thinly veiled, their accounts are fully based around how horrible trans women are.
The truth being, trans women aren’t bad people at all. It’s easy to think they are because the news and media cherry picks some of the worst ones, but every community and minority group has bad people in it. some of the sickest people you could imagine, really. yes, they can be trans. but does being trans make you a sick person? does it turn you into a predator? no, it doesn’t. it just means you’re trans. trans or not, it’s up to men to be mature and take accountability for their own actions that they consciously make. a cis man is as capable to walk into a women’s room as a trans woman is.
if radical feminists cared more about women and detrans women, i could consider getting along with them. but sadly, all these passionate and dedicated feminists care about is hating trans people with a fiery passion. and i’ve been a casualty. it’s very difficult for me to sympathize with radfems when they’ve upset me to the point that they have
let me make it clear that gore and death threats don’t upset me, i’m not easily offended. So it’s not the threats that make me angry. It’s just the principle. The fact that radfems are spending their time scrolling reddit for gore pictures to send to fellow women instead of supporting us makes me SICK. it’s heartbreaking to picture a woman, raped and beaten by her boyfriend, and a radfem standing in front of her, readily available to help, but choosing to yell at a passing detrans woman. It’s really sad.
hopefully those reading this can take my words into consideration and use it to improve yourselves or your community (if you’re a radfem). i love womanhood and being a woman and i would love to share that joy with my sisters, but i just can’t when these issues i’ve experienced are in the back of my mind. I want radical feminism to be a safe space, a place where sisters can go to talk to women, relate to women, cry with and support women. but so far, the only love and support i’ve received has been from the trans community. that speaks volumes.
i am going to post more about my experience with finding my womanhood again in the future, so if you’re a detrans woman yourself, trans ally or not, consider following me :) i’d love to build myself a little community
#radical feminist safe#radical feminism#radical feminists do interact#radical feminist community#radical feminists do touch#radical feminists please interact#radical feminists please touch#radical feminst#radfeminism#radfemblr#radblr#terfsafe#terfblr#detrans#ftm detransition#tw detransition
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Since I'm not transfem, I prefer to present this as a question, sparked by observations about many transradfems.
Do you think bæddel-adjacent / TIRF / transradfeminist people kind of sweep under the rug all the parts of transmisogyny where perceived manhood/masculinity and hypermasculinization are weaponized against transfems?
Like, so much focus on the femininity/womanhood part, but like... Radio silence if anyone brings up how radfem views of men or masculinity can and will harm transfems in basically any part of their transitions due to every negative stereotype of men being thrown at them 10-fold?
And that bringing up the latter would be treated as if it's misgendering.
Just like transmascs being treated as deviant women being talked about gets treated like we're misgendering ourselves, coming from the same people...
Absolutely. Transradfems treat gender identity like hard laws-of-physics reality and completely forget that our categorizations of ourselves are still relatively arbitrary just the same as assigning gender based on sex. If someone hates trans women because they see us as men, transradfems see that as hating women - which they should, of course, because it is literally that, but the problem is taken to be seeing us as men and seeing us as men alone. It's just the miscatagorization. The irrationality of the hatred in and of itself is not questioned, because, you know, rather choose a bear and all. They can't understand how their own attitudes towards men reinforce the paranoia and scrutiny over the possibility of male infiltrators.
It makes me wonder if part of the reason they minimize TERF harm towards transmascs as a weird form of jealousy. I don't want to get too dark, Velvet Nation, but my family (not me personally) has a history with bad things happening to one person and that being taken by someone else as a sign of favor. I can imagine someone being irrationally upset by the fact that people who are born with the gift of acceptance as a female not only waste it but protest against it, and then if they detransition are seemingly (all TERF benevolence is a lie) welcomed with open loving arms in a way that's unobtainable for them when they go from M to F.
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I remember how nice people acted to me when I was in the closet and literally coming out as trans was traumatic for me and how angry people got at me that I "would become more ugly" if I did testosterone . . . I know that it just all means the friends I had weren't good in the first place it is so... upsetting to be living in this body that I have that I dont feel like I should be in and also experiencing misogyny, and how angry people get at me for things that are so small in comparison to how it used to be when I "was cis" yes I often miss being a cis bisexual lady because everyone was so niceys to meeee ..... But no... there are people who treat me right and its better knowing its real, I will never go back even if I decide to wear dresses or anything I'm still a man too.. idk I heard a lot of trans mascs end up detransitioning and it makes me sad because I totally understand the pressure to give up and become a cis girl and I have nightmares about detransitioning and everyone around me saying things like "OH FINALLY ... you're WAY cuter like this I HATED that you had that phase but finally you're cute again :) " also I never ever had been called "creepy" before I came out that whole "creepy freak" vibe thing only happened after I became trans and yeah people were calling me creepy by the day I came out (and I was never called that before and I already had a pretty long art career beforehand.. ) >_> ? my art has gotten more tame over time too its literally the most tame its ever been LOL
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[a text post from r/trans that titled Intersexism within the trans community that reads: "Hi everyone, I'm an intersex enby. As I interact with the trans community, it's becoming more clear to me that a lot of perisex trans people don't understand the intersex experience as much as they think they do and it's creating some problems.
First, intersexism exists, and it's not inherently transphobia. Given the current political climate, is a lot of intersex hate also directed towards trans people? Yes, it is unfortunately. That does not mean that all intersex hate is also trans hate. I've faced intersexism from trans people from this very community, which is why I'm making this post in the first place. If an intersex person tells you about their experience, listen to them! If an intersex person tells you how what you said is leaving out or erasing intersex people, listen to them! If your response is "well you're wrong because I can reduce this down to a binary", that is the entire backbone of intersexist thinking. You need to consider that nothing is binary when it comes to personal identities and that there is always room for nuance.
Second, I've like to cover AGAB. AGAB for perisex people is very different from AGAB for intersex people. No matter how you define AGAB, AGAB describes the way perisex people were assumed to be when they were born. Whether this assumption is correct or not generally determines whether they're cis or trans. For intersex people, AGAB moreso describes the "side" that was picked for us or direction we were forced to transition to. Regardless if that was the "correct" side/direction, it's not a useful metric for determining the transness of intersex people. Using any definition of AGAB and applying it to all intersex people leaves out a lot of nuance that many intersex people have to live with since the day we were born. Many of us detransition after we discovered we were forcibly transitioned, such as myself. Many of us feel that our gender and sex aren't capable of fitting into any binary, such as myself. By using AGAB alone to determine if an intersex person is trans for example, not only are you reducing us to yet another binary you're expecting us to conform ourselves to, you're also essentially saying "You need to base your entire identity on what was forcibly taken from you, not based on any conclusion you came to about yourself."
Third, which kind of plays into the previous point, labels are nothing more than tools that are used for people to understand themselves and others better. If someone has labels that you don't understand, just politely ask them and try to understand where they're coming from. If they don't make sense to you, trying to "correct" the other person won't do anything except upset both of you in a petty argument that won't go anywhere. Even if you don't "agree" with the labels that someone uses for themself, it's not your life and you have no right to tell someone how they should interpret their own life. This is especially true for intersex people who often have complicated and messy relationships with sex and gender that perisex people just aren't able to understand. Label policing only causes infighting and hurts the LGBTQ+ community.
Tldr: just listen to intersex people when they tell you about themselvess" end ID]
Link to post.
#intersex issues#intersex rights#intersexism#trans#transblr#transgender#transmisogyny#transandrophobia
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i have left
hey everyone this will probably be the last thing i post on this blog albeit im keeping it up for resources.
im eternally grateful for how this community has helped me through prostitution and everything, i have amazing mutuals and i have learned so much 💜
but it has become toxic. many of yall cant handle disagreement and default to being as condescending and obnoxious as possible. one of us calling out a post is not enough, we have to dog pile everyone with a slightly shitty opinion. some of yall have severely lost the plot if you ever had it in the first place. not everything is that serious, especially when it comes to online drama.
im sick of it. so many engage in the same bullshit we accuse online trans activists of. this is an echo chamber. so many just mindlessly parrot slogans and arguments. what im very sick of is seeing single tweets or posts by a nobody, usually anonymous, being spread as receipts and shit. you know how annoying it is when everything a self proclaimed terf somewhere on social media says is taken by trans activists at face value and representative of the community when theyre not even radical feminist, just transphobic? yeah. yet a lot of yall do the same by saving and sharing „receipts“ where some random person who claims theyre trans (or not even) says some fucked up or out of pocket shit. you will always find people like that online, from any politicial „camp“ or ideological alignment!
a lot of yall seem to think that debate is about winning and not like, having an exchange of arguments and let the audience come to their own conclusion
and i just dont hate trans people. in fact i feel kinship to any female or homosexual trans person, anyone except heterosexual males. many of yall dont even realise how male centered you are when you more or less equal the trans community to heterosexual men who have a fetish for humiliation and forced feminisation or whatever. who exist and are an issue and i do wish the trans community at large would distance themselves from those men, but its not all there is to it. yes i agree that we need to protect vulnerable young people, girls and especially lesbians and gay boys, from being pushed into transitioning, i think the age of consent should be put at 21 or something, but we have to acknowledge and consider that there are people who have already transitioned and will transition in the future and i just dont understand how you cant have any empathy for them. no matter what you think about transition, many trans people ARE vulnerable and marginalised. plus consider how many detransitioned women are in this community yet yall talk about trans people as mutilated and shit its gross. in the end we can only try to establish structures that keep people from self harming, but an adult of sound mind has the right to do so anyways, including plastic surgery and trans surgeries. and i want to keep my arms open to them; but a lot of rhetoric around it spread on here will only alienate them further.
right now im saving all my essays in notes so its out of my mind. i have missed the community a lot so maybe i will return at some point but i have also been feeling better since i stopped being on radblr. i miss the rare valuable input and thoughts by other women but overall i have felt unaligned with how things have been handled on here. it has been mostly negative instead of constructive and pragmatic. ive had the impression some of yall enjoy the „being in the in-group“ community aspect more than actually being here for feminist exchange. lack of nuance, lack of empathy, lack of reason. it pains me but i have more and more come to understand why people just block us without engaging on general suspicion because ive also come to be annoyed with some of yall engaging with posts - and im on „your side“.
anyways im doing okay, im going to drug counselling regularly now and am trying to establish a stable life for those of you who inquired, and i hope anyone reading this is self reflected enough to know whether this applies to her or not. bye
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I hope this is too heavy but I had plans to detransition then commit suicide because of how poorly my trans friends (who are mostly fem and nb) were treating me, making comments on how T made me uglier and they no longer felt comfortable around me since I transitioned. With this going on for years and seeing the uptick in hate towards trans masculine people with similar rhetoric I felt like it was a waste of my life and I would never be able to “fix how disgusting I made myself” but seeing your blog actually legitimately saved me because it reminded me that we are still wanted and desirable to people. Thank you so much.
I'd like to tell you about somebody very important to me, anon. His name was Earl, and it's been nearly ten years since he passed away.
I used to see Earl every winter, just visiting his side of the family. He was older than me by more than a decade, but we had a special kinship. Something I was too young to articulate or even notice.
We usually sat in the snow by a hodag statue while we caught up. For context, the hodag was a hoax cryptid invented by a timberman in the 1800s. Rows of horns, some scales, coarse hair, short legs. Like a half-reptilian minotaur. Not only was it apparently really fucking ugly, but it also smelled like a musky corpse.
The first reported encounter with the hodag ended with its defeat by dynamite. In some versions of its lore, the hodag was a reincarnation of abused livestock. In others, it was meek and melancholy, wanting only to live in the woods, undisturbed.
The last time I saw Earl, he was very withdrawn. We sat for a while in front of that statue, just silently basking in its monstrous disfigurement. I think we watched Napoleon Dynamite afterward. I remember feeling comforted that he could at least laugh, but maybe it was nothing more than a reflex at that point.
He died by suicide not long after. He didn't say anything about who he really was, just that he couldn't bear it any longer. For so long, I was unable to explain what it was that we had shared. Me and him. Him and the hodag. Me and the hodag. All three of us.
I didn't learn that he wanted to be called Earl until years later, when my grandma mentioned it off-handedly. She was the only person he ever came out to, and she told me after I came out to her. As far as I know, Earl never even considered HRT. He was afraid of what it would turn him into. That's why he tried to become nothing at all.
But that's not really how it works. Once you've come into existence, there can never be a world without some trace of you in it. We are living on a post-you planet. You as in Earl, and you as in you. By making yourself known to me, you have invested part of your selfhood in the vast, interconnected matrix of the world. Good choice.
So in the same way that this blog is for people to outsource their tenuous selfhood and need to be desired, let this particular post be specifically for you. Our own personal hodag statue, maybe, where all ugliness and beauty cohabitate as one indistinguishable thing. Know that there is something for you here. A digital landmark you can visit in times of loneliness.
I love you, anon. I'll always want you here. You can message me privately if you ever want to talk.
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hi i’m sorry if this is too heavy of a question, but i was told that Testosterone HRT can make you die sooner if you go in it vs. if you don’t? is this true? i’ve tried looking up medical articles but i’m not good with researching this kind of thing and i’m not currently seeing a doctor so i can’t ask them. thanks for the help
hi there!
fortunately for you, and everyone who takes testosterone HRT: that is a trans(andro)phobic, antimasculine, butchphobic, and intersexist myth spread by radfems. there is no scientific or medical basis in anyone who has higher testosterone levels will guaranteed have a shortened lifespan
what is happening when people propose that argument is they are taking what can possibly happen to some people who have high T and/or take testosterone HRT and blow it way out of proportion. some of the POSSIBLE complications testosterone HRT COULD present are:
high/elevated blood pressure in some people
increased red blood cell production, which Can lead to easier clotting if blood is not donated or medications are not taken to thin the blood in some people
reproductive health issues in some people
liver and/or kidney damage in some people who are prone to liver/kidney issues, and/or take more testosterone than prescribed
there can be other complications, but the point stands that these are all potential things that can happen to some people. not every person who takes T gets elevated blood pressure, for example. many people had low blood pressure beforehand and find that they are more stabilized. many people who previously were underweight benefit from a bit of weight gain. most people who take T do not overproduce red blood cells in a dangerous amount, but in folks who do, there are options to mitigate this.
some people cannot take T due to health issues, and that's okay, that person is not detransitioning in order to preserve their health. these people deserve to have their situations taken seriously. but, not everyone faces health troubles due to starting hormones. people can also have adverse affects on health when taking estrogen. there is always a risk of harming one's self when introducing substances into the body in higher amounts than it was previously used to.
most people have some levels of both estrogens and testosterone in them at all times. elevating or lowering anything can cause a shock to the system but a lot of the time, these things are temporary or can be solved with medication. many people just never experience any of this. there's no guarantee that anyone will be harmed by taking testosterone HRT
i hope that helps! i can't believe this has gotten to be so widespread. i appreciate you taking the time to ask. i've been on T for 9 years. had my heart checked last year because i had an extra beat that was unnerving me due to being constantly exposed to cigarette smoke. my heart is healthy, my blood pressure is easily managed by 1 medication, i don't have an issue with blood clots, and my liver and kidneys have been checked twice within the past year and they're good to go as well. people just assume that testosterone is evil ands pread the myth that it'll kill you because of antimasculism, trans(andro)phobia, butchphobia, intersexism, and man hating.
radfems have been trying to do everything in their power to turn people off of T because of how badly they hate men and mascs. if you want to look into starting T, your prescriber will run a lot of tests to make sure you are in good health for it. if not you may be able to use very low dose T. most people do not experience adverse health effects inherently due to T. i hope this helps!
take care! feel free to have any more questions you may have
#asks#answers#testosterone#hrt#testosterone hrt#t hrt#hormones#hormone replacement therapy#trans health#transandrophobia#transphobia#intersexism#butchphobia#antimasculism
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