#us being in two very different positions
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Being in your mid twenties is wild. One of my old friends / classmates from elementary to HS is married and having her first kid while I’m over here playing TTRPG biweekly and considering joining to the local climbing gym for a new hobby while living with my mother, hoping for a housing market crash so I can afford my own place.
#just to be clear#I am happy with my life#I like what I got going on#I have no desire to be married or have a kid at this moment#would like more of a social circle#but there’s something amusing about the duality of#us being in two very different positions#she’s contemplating childcare costs and I’m contemplating buying climbing shoes in hopes to meet people
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Buttercups and Golden Flowers
#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing.#so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image.#it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning.#my art#undertale#chara#chara dreemurr#safeutdr#something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous.#the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara.#contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan.#you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of#golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well.#why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're#the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground.#it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle.#it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative.#from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing#but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings.#well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me.#see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers#and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same.#'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?'#'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!'#<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater.#i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.
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Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)
This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)
1) Night and Cross!
Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3
2) Error and Night's Meeting!
Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)
3) Dream and Blue designs!
I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.
Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)
4) Horror and Dust designs!
Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)
These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)
#new age au#I love showing mundane life things-#and also these designs beamed into my brain#I can't draw Ccino for anything but the others? yeag#Blue is definitely my fave. and just like every au I will draw Blue perfect the first time and draw Dust 6 billion times 😔#Horror is kinda banger too tho#makes me laugh to imagine Horror picking up Dust mid-fight out of convenience and Dust weighs nothing to him#(also this size difference is exactly why Dust and Horror fight in the non-magic training. and why Horror accidentally obliterated his#shoulder later on lmao- Dust needs to be able to dodge any enemy. Horror needs to aim for small and quick targets.)#(Meanwhile Cross is the newest and Killer the oldest and if Cross adapts to Killer then he'll adapt to the others more easily.)#oh! and Ccino w/ his arc? I think I really like the idea of a Ccino with a plump body-type. but that conflicts with my vidion of Ccino kinda#losing track of eating and being co-erced by adults to skip meals just enough to make him the 'right amount' of curvy#so when Nightmare takes over it's a habit he's so used to he hardly notices that he's doing it. but. Night picks up on it because Ccino is#almost akways with him. their relationship is very much Ccino giving his life to help Night#but it's also Night recognizing that and giving it back to Ccino along with more the moment he can#just smth smth this au is full of fit and exercized people and I think Ccino deserves some comfort and healing and positivity <3#also I am SO fond of Nightmare getting up in people's bubbles. he does it most to Killer and Ccino for obvious reasons but#god forbid a noble be talking behind his back because he *will* twist around and shove under his knight's arms or sides just to#read them the riot act or stare them down <3#and I think when he was an adult Night was... kinda like the big brother? like. not an experienced one by any means. but he wasn't *not*#affectionate then either. he was better at being serious about it and more discreet. but like#Nervous Cross escorting him in public? Night nudges his shoulder briefly with a Tendril to try and comfort him. Dust having a magic overload#? personal Training against just Night so there was no risk of harming anyone else. then snacks and tea after.#Horror is homesick? Woah look at that a scheduled trip back to visit with Crop and side-track back to Horror's village? huh?? wild...#Killer upset at all? Night will find a solution. just you wait. a cat. two cats. perhaps even a cat in a little sweater? or y'know. just a#chat or a combat?#Nightmare showed his affections but was just more distant about it.#Oh also. all four were used to tendrils lifting/tugging them subconsciously. usually during trainings to avoid them hurting eachother by#mistake in their early days. Killer misses it sometimes
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need#cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify#and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
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ok so in the show i’m crewing right now with the theater i work for, one of our out-of-company actors that was hired is an ambulatory wheelchair user and she’s incredible and the theater and management have made it this whole production to try an accommodate her needs through the process. Which is wonderful!
But on the part of the the theater it comes of as so disingenuous to me (especially with the way they’ve been publicizing it on social media), knowing that i spent last semester crying after every rehearsal due to the way my disability was treated and i was considering quitting theater altogether. and even going into this production the way i’ve been treated has been subpar. and it makes me so angry but i can’t talk to anyone i know about it because i dont want them to think im bashing the actor when im really just pissed at theater management.
#i think part of the problem is i’m a university fed hire#while the actor was hired out of company as freelance#and so for me it’s just another nail in the coffin about the way this theater treats their student workers#but like i was hired for two positions in this show. and i was (not gracefully) fired from one of the positions#so i could ‘focus on my other position’ and not strain my disability too much#obviously this was decided without any input from me#the stage manager who was making me cry last semester and spreading very personal information about my disability#was out of company hired as well and she is not invited back for many reasons#but when i made my complaint about the way she was treating my disability i got a ‘we’ll talk about it tomorrow and im sorry that’s happen’#only for it to never be discussed until the following semester after the show had ended#and i received a ‘we’re going to try and do better than the last show where details of your vulnerable medical episodes were shared without#your consent’#i love this actress and disability solidarity all the way#but i’m frustrated with the fact that she’s getting accommodations i could never dream of getting#while i’m still being told that my disability is too inconvenient for some jobs#we’re the only two mobility aid users to work for this theater and i’m baffled by the different reception between the two of us#i’m just so. tired. of being treated like a liability#and watching someone else be treated great by people who’ve stomped on me makes me want to never work in theater ever again
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DAAAAAAAAAAAAX <3 <3 (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Hello I have been inconsolable ever since ZEX mentioned that he wished DAX were there so he wouldn't be the only VUX#It is a hideously addictive thought - DAX being there to support his Admiral - he certainly could use it!#Talana got pulled in from Zelnick's girlfriend's ''real'' counterpart - why not Dexter!! Hghgh#It sets my brain on fire (terribly affectionate)#I love DAX sm ;; I love ZEX sm! I love their dynamic sm ;;;;#He would've been such a comfort hhh my head is full of all these horrifically self-indulgent scenes of They ♥#Firstly of them meeting up with each other!! ZEX is very tactile haha <3 He needs the physical reassurance so bad haha ;u;#Not quite like twining arms but DAX won't recoil at least <3 Hugs good!#Can you tell that second one was a spacefiller lol#ZEX very well acquainted with crying now haha - at least it's for something positive! For once :')#Ugh imagining their little differences in approach is so fjdkslafdf - same stimuli different outcomes! I love them hgh#I like to imagine DAX just observing the showers with a distant annoyance-interest like ''What the heck is that'' lol#Very dissimilar from ZEX's Intense interest but not actually picking up any skills from the experience lol#But really it's just my secret desire for DAX to learn how to wash hair so he can corral his Admiral into taking care of his body haha#Two VUX would have a very different kind of scaffolding of learning how to get along! They'd both benefit from whatever one finds out!#Might keep ZEX just a teensy bit more on track of finding things out to report back and help DAX out hehe <3 Maybe possibly lol#Still wouldn't stop him from hitting on DAX hehehehe ♪ What's this? Someone he likes and trusts in a human form? Hmm :)#Hhhh they ;; Recreating the scene of Max coming onto Dex and then Dexter turning it around on him - not that they'd know#I'm fine this is fine I'm not crying or anything ;;;; Parallels are my favourites I can't stand this <3 <3#There's just so much to think about! And it's all so much to me!! ♥
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please forgive me, but I need to complain and over-share or my brain is going to explode please feel free to ignore
#I'm not doing well.#the last two places I worked (in a tourism-adjacent sector) closed. broadly speaking due to post-lockdown financial issues#for the past year at my current job I've been earning less than half what I used to. this was the only offer I got at the time and#I haven't found anything better since. this is not sustainable I'm barely making it each month...#I live with my parents and cancelled my health insurance I don't know how else to reduce my budget. it's depressing tbh#the solution is obviously to find a better job but that's just not happening and I'm beginning to feel discouraged.#I hate being negative it's a very unattractive character trait but I just feel myself slipping and spiraling#I know I should be taking short courses or volunteering to boost my cv but like when ! and how !#I can't afford to work less but I get home at 20h so even evening courses are tricky. I work every other saturday too so weekends are out#and like I do need to rest at some point you can't be depressed and burnt out that's a terrible combo#was looking at a dtp/typesetting short course and 1) I'll need a new computer that can actually run design programs#and 2) the course itself is like 2 month's salaries which I cannot realistically save right now#and yet I'm still ''over-qualified'' for entry level positions because I went to uni. well maybe that's just a polite excuse#because as interesting as my humanities degrees were they didn't equip me with any practical or marketable skills#besides being good at reading and writing. but AI can do that for free now so that's not helpful#I always thought I was reasonably intelligent but I cannot solve this puzzle. there must be a creative solution that I'm missing#but i feel so stuck and trapped#and at least once a week some poor soul stumbles in to the office practically begging for a job so I feel bad for complaining#a little truly is better than nothing#but thank god we elected more pro-business capitalists into government that really is going to be great for us workers (sarcasm)#also I should acknowledge#I am getting some déjà vu. I feel like I've vented about this topic before#the difference is. back then it was a potential concern. now the concern has materialised into reality and rendered the situation desperate
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so i was infodumping about vatborn, as one does, and laying it all out i have come to the conclusion that mogadorians as a whole--vatborn and trueborn both--lean heavily toward varying flavors of autistic. and BOY does it explain a lot
#lorien legacies#mogadorians#LL trueborn#LL vatborn#LL tag#i have a lot a LOT of thoughts in me about this#but a tl;dr is that there are one or two very specific and common flavors of autistic that are held up as neurotypical in their society#and setrákus' angle of attack for manipulating them and getting them under his thumb was to use those common traits as an in#see: rigidity; justice sensitivity; and not being allowed any special interests/hyperfixations but war and cult shit and himself#among other things#and once he was in a position of control he proceeded to build his cult to twist and exaggerate those things in horrible ways#and also encouraged them to be Super Fucking Ableist even moreso than before toward autistics/cousins#who don't fit the Respectable Archetype#see: how they treat vatborn lol#which; as much as they try to act like the vatborn are ~gifted~ with different neurology that makes them Inferior#they are severely limiting the actual ways in which vatborn could contribute effectively beyond just being cannon fodder#because they don't work with their neurotypes because they don't want /vatborn/#they want trueborn who can also be disposable slaves 🙃#so instead of figuring out how to integrate them most effectively they just have to expend most of their efforts#herding vatborn into Doing What They're Supposed To by playing whack-a-mole with their brand of autism when they can't suppress it#and also setrákus is as good as he is at manipulating mogs in particular bc he is ALSO super fucking autistic in ways that line up with#their Standards for the good and acceptable leaderly honorable neurotype. whereas he consistently critfails at convincing non-autistics#to come around to his views or do what he wants. he has no clue how to vibe with allistics lmfao but mogs are fair game#i could go on but yeah i have Thoughts. i have thoughts#ableism cw
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Oh and to be clear with my beastieball team building I have gone into the game basically completely blind so I am just working off of what I've seen within the game for hypothetical team building
#rat rambles#I Really need to look into the various ocean beasties more I know very little abt how they play#Im also starting to feel like what I rly need is a much more pure tank sort of unit#because while stalling can back me in a corner rn I also am sometimes able to stall enough to back back out of the corner#so if I could do that more consistently and with less need for constant pivots that could be something#and in situations in which youre underleveled stalling power is usually more valuable than firepower#since y'know. your firepower isn't very powerful and if you dont have stalling power then you just sort of instantly die#but firepower still is very important you just need to be able to stay alive while you chip#I think rly my favorite thing so far has been learning how the battle ais tick and trying to manipulate it through observation#which is again why my team has been a very pivot heavy team as its often about cycling through guys with different weaknesses to keep the#opponents attention off of my main chip damage in any given fight#so yknow thank god I haven't encountered another trap team yet#again this isnt ideal for me since my guys very much do not benefit from the conatant pivoting#well ok one of the weakness trio does but the other two very much do not like not being able to set up#in particular nikola my moth guy who is a valuable pivot tool and does ok damage but is definitely the standout as the most replaceable#mostly because he is basically completely incapable of utilizing any of his gimmicks since he spends so little time on the field#which the only reason I kept him on the team during the initial planning phase of the team was that I figured he could synergize with#gossmann (the dragonfly) and ideally be a decent set up dps#but he ultimately just never gets the room to set up so he ends up being the least interesting to use#because even though my other picky dps struggles a bit with the constant switching they at least get to use their gimmicks#they only need to get into the front row while nikola needs to have room to use set up moves#which he almost never does#I do like him tho dont get me wrong I just think if I need to bring someone new in to remedy some of my issues hes getting the boot#I think I mostly just rly need someone who doesn't need any set up and isnt position picky#just someone to bring some consistency that this team is desperately needing
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walking into the forge to craft another setting bc i want to think abt the shepherd + thule interacting on a closer level than wary distance + lies occasionally interrupted by flashes of violence. what if they were forced to get along
#existence dragon while still alive contains infinite realities within it. in one of those thule is just a mortal drakling instead of its--#--child. existence dragon begins to grow tired with the bland familiarity of its creation (no influence but its own. stagnation everywhere)#--and reaches out to these infinite realities to visit One person each in them and bid them to make their existence their own + so--#--thoroughly influence it that it cannot recognize it anymore. thules The Guy for their reality and is offered the aid of a normalstyle--#--shepherd (ie a reclusive + broody wolf instead of the fear of the unknwon) who was Also issued the command + has achieved its goal#weird spiral where it is revealed that the shepherd was aided by a DIFFERENT arch-being thule on its campaign who was in turn aided by--#--another shepherd so on and so forth. the two in all their forms are just NOT compatible (thule a being of creation the shepherd a being--#--of reduction) and resentment for their past mentors affect how they handle those they are meant to assist. the shepherd trying to sway--#--normalstyle thule away from their go to tactics (consolidate power in the form of allies and posit themself as the necessary change for--#--a stagnant existence which forbids the act of Creation) bc it was pressured to do the very same by ITS thule who achieved success w it#thule very early on starts using the shepherd tagging along behind them as 'proof' of their claims that they are capable of wholly removed-#--and fresh creation since it (even as it exists as only an infinitesimal fraction of its true self in its selfmade reality) has a haze--#--said different reality hanging around it at all times. visually thatd be best conveyed by a different medium which is a bit of a--#--cool idea lol#WAH also. each time the shepherd is issued the Command it is forced to abandon cinnamon. very big part of why it is resentful of every--#--thule. main normalstyle thule happens across a little pack of foxes at one point during its campaign and finally gets a peek at--#--a softer + more alive side to the shepherd as it insists on playing w them
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RANT TIME ‼️‼️‼️
#the cast list came out and your girl is not pleased#I won’t say what show it is or anything bc i’m paranoid abt creepy stalkers finding me or whatever lol#but basically i worked really really REALLY hard for MONTHS for this certain role#and it’s a role well within my vocal range and typecast and stuff#at auditions and callbacks i read for it a lot of times and like a million people (some i’m friends with and some i’m not) came up to me#and told me what a good job i did or that i’d be perfect for the role etc etc#and i tried not to get my hopes up but i kinda was because i REALLY wanted it and i worked REALLY hard for it#and everyone was pretty positive at the end of callbacks that it came down to me and one other girl#now. this other girl. where do i even begin#let’s call her joanne#(that’s not her real name i swear)#now joanne is my least favorite person in this town- maybe this county- maybe this state- perhaps this country#she is the most irritating girl i have ever endured the presence of. she believes wholeheartedly that she is the best singer and#the best actress and the all-around best person in the entire world#she goes around telling people she has zero insecurities and being mean to her friends and ARGHHHHH when i tell you i cannot be around her#you see where this is going don’t you#so basically joanne told everyone that this other role in the show#a completely different role than what i was going for#is her ultimate dream role and the one she wants#so she doesn’t want the role i want at all and the two of us were obviously the top two contenders for it#but the thing is that the directors are OBSESSED with joanne. they fawn over her and feed her already-unbearably-inflated ego#and they’ve given her leads in shows before (keep in mind that they’ve cut me in shows before)#but since the times they’ve cut me I’ve actually come so so so far as an actor like i’ve played leads and they’ve SEEN ME play leads and#TOLD ME that i did amazing#but GUESS WHAT THEY DID???? i bet you’ll never guess!!!!#joanne got the role i wanted#i got a role too but it’s definitely on the smaller side and oh. here’s the kicker. i’ve PLAYED THIS ROLE BEFORE. VERY RECENTLY.#and they knew that!!! yet they cast me as her again!!!#and it would be fine (or at least better) if joanne was GOOD as this role#lav speaks
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The Motherfucking Lizard King
No one at work trusts my boss.
He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town.
Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse?
I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed.
He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now.
So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it.
---
My job has glue traps.
No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life.
If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just
You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you.
People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out.
I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me.
I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps.
And just because of that, they're willing to follow me.
---
My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.
People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was:
Do NOT mess with animals in the building.
So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences.
I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop.
Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve.
And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went
I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover.
So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell.
So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair.
I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.
I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.
A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right?
And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes.
And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said
Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil?
I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question.
Who grabbed the snake? I asked.
Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right.
ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No.
---
The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago.
We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again.
You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think.
But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be.
That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.
---
The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.
Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read
"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."
I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.
How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.
You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.
I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.
Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.
---
The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.
We'll see if he squanders it.
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Alright, I’ll bite the bullet and say it: these characters are so incredibly autistic to me and I desperately want more of them. Augustus in particular is twigging a chord in my brain so fucking hard — a fact only exacerbated by the fact that it’s a Bakugan video, given that the middle school self was so painfully obsessed with Bakugan. Augustus’s “This game sucks ass!” comment only furthers the comparison here btw, because the game is incredibly unfun to play, which made it feel doubly infuriating that I wanted more of those toys so fucking bad at that age but everyone bought them for my younger Brothers instead while I was filling up sketchbook after sketchbook with Bakugan character art with the one Altair figure I’d bought myself carried around in my pocket at all times while my peers made fun of it for being a cringy thing their little brothers were into. anyway Im also obsessed with Augustus’s particular autism accent and I want to hear more of it — bring that guy back Pronto
#N posts stuff#don’t feel any reluctance referring to Augustus’ voice like that ftr#the guy playing him Is putting on a Voice but the guy playing him is also autistic. so im fully claiming him#the chosen is a recurring character on the channel but so far as i can tell this was like augustus’s singular solid appearance#SAD. i want to see more of him. please.#my brothers shoved their bakugan into the AC unit 😔 i was so fucking jealous#i have no idea where my altair wound up :( i should see if it’s tucked away in some obscure corner of my mom’s garage somewhere#the two of them fighting for their lives to get the figures back into ball shape is so fucking real though lmao#the dynamic between the two characters also twigs middle school bc i was notorious for being WAY too Much#while also being painfully entranced by flat affected monotone folks; like thought they were So cool and wanted them 2 think i was also cool#FTR i do not say ‘middle school’ as in ‘childish’ but just as in. like. unfortunately the middle school self and the current self are like#in very different positions in ways unrelated to age. so it’s an era thing more than an age group thing TO BE CLEAR#the more i actually like. Remember being younger the more i wonder how much the like flat affected / flattened emotional landscape that#the current self possesses is like Innate to us or if it’s something kind of. Pulled On defensively? i want to recapture the#middle school self so fucking bad. augustus manifestation of where i want us to be going in life. we can accomplish it i think
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BEAST FEAST ! — RYŌMEN SUKUNA.
synopsis. sukuna misses his mate so much that it begins to physically affect his vessel's body. they set off on a little mission in search of you, only to find themselves walking riiight into your waiting jaws. wc. 4.2k
tags. dom beast! reader, bottom! sukuna. reader has a cock. oviposition (eggs), size difference, large cock, i'm not joking around that thing is fucking ginormous, belly bulge, monsterfucking, cum inflation, breeding kink, mpreg, knotting, biting, rough anal sex, warning: sukuna's huge tits, appropriate amount of clothes-ripping, multiple orgasms, creampie, sukuna's hole leaks slick, soft & needy sukuna.
a/n. inspired by this ask. thank you for the wonderful thirst <3
Sukuna was a predator. He did not fear, did not run from measly little things like monsters, because hardly anything could be more terrifying than he was.
But for the first time in his life, he felt like he was prey.
Hulking, sharp teeth bared, and with four piercing slit-like eyes, you rose to your full height, a low growl sounding at the back of your throat. Primal hunger radiated from your entire being as you stalked closer and closer, horns lowered in a position ready to strike, your tail whipping the jagged ends of the cave, sending little sparks alive.
“S-Sukuna, I think we should leave...” Yuuji stammered, starting to back out, but his cheek split open at once and a mouth appeared, snarling out a command to stay.
“Let me take over,” Sukuna muttered. “I will handle this, brat.”
Yuuji looked hesitant about giving up control on his body. Still, there were little options to pick and choose from at the moment, and the beast, you, was approaching them with haste. Each heavy step you took announced your presence, causing the ground to quake, crushed rock particles raining down like fine powder.
Your eyes narrowed in onto the human at the mouth of the cave, no larger than one-fifth of your size, nor taller. Something coursed through you, sharp and warm and instantaneous, like static electricity.
Familiarity.
You came to a halt in front of him as tribal tattoos materialised on his skin, stretching across the expanse of his handsome face and dipping into his clothed chest. Two dark bands wrapped themselves around each of his wrists, and you watched intensely as he raised one (not six)—slowly, as to not threaten you, fist unfurling into a gentle hand to press against the side of your muzzle.
Dark red eyes stared up at you with a bored expression.
“Silly dog,” Sukuna cooed, fond.
All of this was familiar territory, and you wanted to sink your teeth into his neck. He was looking at you like he knew what you wanted, too.
“Sukuna,” you growled, nuzzling into his hand, and he shuddered.
Closing his eyes, he curled a palm around one of your horns, bringing you down to press his forehead against yours, wanting to be close. You obliged easily, feeling his warm breath against yours, his touch surrounding you. The thrumming of his very much human heart against your lesser human one. You supposed it was a kind of feeling that no other living being could fathom. It wasn’t love, gods, no. It was something much more than that.
It was something that only the two of you shared.
“I made you wait,” Sukuna breathed, stroking the side of your face, and you snorted out an agreement.
He had made you wait for centuries. Centuries of spending night and day in a cold wet cave, alone. You used to spend weeks lying awake at a time, waiting, hoping he would come back, sharp instincts perking up at every slight noise coming from outside the cave, only for it to be a bird or a stupid human traveller. You had hoped so desperately before that hope died with your will to live, and if not for your curse of immortality, you would have ended it all. You hadn’t even bothered to make a proper nest, for all these years. It didn’t matter if your mate wasn’t there to appreciate it.
He had left you empty of meaning.
“... I don’t suppose you will want me to apologise for that.”
You stayed quiet. You weren’t looking for an apology. But that didn’t mean you weren’t angry with him.
“Words?” he said patiently, looking at you. “Tell me how you feel.”
“Nest,” you told him, and he watched helplessly as you shrugged his grip off and stalked past him, out of the cave and into the bright sunlight, for the first time in ages.
You gathered nesting materials as swiftly as you could, taking whatever you could find in the forest—dried-up twigs, leaves, bark strips, bird feathers, all the sort. They didn’t have the softest texture, but they would do for now.
You returned to a sweet, heady scent seeping out from inside the cave, each whiff sending delicious quivers down your spine. It was the kind of aphrodisiac that omegas in the wild would release if they wanted to attract an alpha, but these things did not matter to you much. Mate, your mind supplied. Breed. You shook it off as your body not being attuned to the unbearable warmth of the outside world. It was getting all your instincts mixed up.
Inside the cave, Sukuna was sitting on your poorly-made nest like it was a grand throne, thighs spread and arms hung out, exposing his most vulnerable parts—his neck, heart and belly—to you in such a casual manner that it set fuel to the burgeoning fire you had been trying to ignore in your abdomen.
He gave you a lazy look as you noticed, a smirk beginning to stretch across his face.
“You are back.”
You felt your fangs itch.
“I was going to rip these off,” Sukuna continued when you made no reply, pinching his clothes with a look of near disgust. “But I figured you would want to do it yourself…?”
You growled. You had been suppressing the urge to rip off all his clothes since the moment he emerged in front of you in those markings that you had recognised as yours, and somehow, he knew it.
“Sukuna,” you said. There was nothing else to say. You could feel yourself trembling with desire. Even he wouldn’t be able to take it, not in this weak form, no. “I need… to fix the nest.” The words came out flimsy and weak. An excuse.
“Take me,” he rasped out, as though reading your mind. He gestured to his stomach. “Forget the nest. I want you inside me. Right here.”
He watched you, a hint of desperation behind his stern gaze. You looked away.
“I am angry at you,” you confessed, the real reason for why you were so hesitant. It came out in a growl, and Sukuna shivered, baring his neck with a low whine.
“I can tell,” he murmured, breathless. “Take it out on me.”
It was tempting, really, having your mate spread out in front of you in your territory, willing and pliant, with only a thin, negligible barrier between you and what was yours. No, what used to be yours. You glared at his unblemished neck, now empty of a mating bite. It didn’t feel right, and the growing heat within you was telling you to either bite or break something.
“No.”
Sukuna cocked an eyebrow. “No?”
Trying your best to ignore him, you lumbered over, starting to rearrange the nest into something more presentable. As you got closer, the sweet scent intensified, like a field of blooming red roses, each one making you dizzy with desire. Mate, your instincts were telling you. Make him round and heavy with our offspring. Keep him here forever. Who knows where he’ll walk off to the next time we lose sight of him.
You could feel your cock sliding out from its sheath, steadily hardening as you pretended not to know where the smell was coming from.
Sukuna eyed you coyly as you moved closer to stuff a few feathers behind him, arching his back subtly as he settled into a more comfortable position, one that exposed the wet patch between his legs. He pulled down the mouth of his shirt to show his right pectoral, the thick black lines enticing you to trace them with your tongue.
Your cock swung heavily with every slight movement, and you could feel his hungry stare on it.
He opened his mouth. You stopped and stared back at him, daring him to speak. He sneered. “Your dick clearly disagrees—”
Sukuna yelped as you ripped his shirt open with your claws in one smooth movement, fully exposing his plump chest.
“Beautiful,” you growled in appreciation, flinging the shredded shirt away, and he panted out a victorious laugh, eagerly pushing out his tits for you to examine.
“Fucking finally.” He moaned unabashedly as you groped his pecs, careful not to graze him with your claws, but just as rough nonetheless—just the way he liked it. “Knew you would give in, haah.”
“Sukuna,” you warned, baring your teeth, but he only arched his neck in response, trying to get you to bite already.
“Put it in,” he whined. “Want your prick in me.”
You ripped his pants off next.
Your gaze raked down his body—this new, unfamiliar body of his that you should despise, because it was so human, so unlike him—but instead of feeling revulsion, you could only taste hunger. Saliva rapidly gathered in your mouth, threatening to spill out from the gaps of your sharp teeth.
If he belonged to you, then every form and body that he chooses to possess would belong to you, too. And naturally, this one did.
“Here,” Sukuna panted, reaching a hand between his legs to scissor his hole open for you. Viscous, syrupy slick dripped out, dousing your nest with his sweet smell, and all of this only served to drive you crazy with want. “Fuck me, ruin me, come on—”
The universe unravelled before you the moment you grabbed him by the hips and seated him on your cock in one violent thrust, and you groaned out loud and guttural, heavens and the earth be damned. You could have never forgotten how it felt, not since then, and never now, a sweltering, almost electrical connection burning through your bodies and sealing them together as one, like you were made to fit inside him, like he was made to be yours.
Sukuna was letting out a string of broken whimpers, face contorted in absolute bliss and pleasure as his rim stretched impossibly wide around your thick girth, his stomach bulging out to allow such a large intrusion. You yanked him further down the shaft of your cock, and he cried out, body convulsing as came—cock messily spurting on his chest.
“Shit,” he cursed, trembling as you began to move again. “F-forgot how big this thing is.”
You snarled. Guess you would just have to imprint your dick inside him to make sure he would never forget again.
You manoeuvred your grip to the back of his knees, supporting him in a secure hold, spreading his thighs wider so you could slide in deeper with his back pressed against your chest. You wanted to feel every inch of him, wanted him to sheath you, wanted to carve a space inside him that only you could ever breach. Sukuna howled out a profanity, throwing his head back to rest on your shoulder as pleasure overwhelmed him in waves.
He reached back to grab at your shoulders, horns, anything, struggling to push himself into a better position as you started to slowly thrust into him. Vulnerable was the first word that came to you. The second one was fragile, but that wasn’t the word for it, either. He was so little now—you could fit one hand completely around his waist, and you should be more gentle with him, really, but you knew he could take more.
“Look,” you said, peeking over his shoulder. Sukuna looked up at you, teary and confused, but before you could clarify, you reached a clawed hand to press against the obscene bulge on his navel, and his eyes rolled back with a loud, shuddering cry as he jerked in your arms, pressure immediately increasing tenfold.
“F-fuck,” he sobbed. You could feel the slick gushing out from around you and dripping down your thighs as he stared down for the first time, throat dry and unbreathing. “It’s too fuckin’ big.”
You applied more pressure, just to be cruel, watching as he choked on a moan, thighs quivering uncontrollably. He stared back up at you, as though searching for a reason for that, and couldn’t resist looking down again, at the huge swell over his stomach and abdomen—the print of your cock marking him as yours. He slowly pressed his hands over your larger ones, whimpering as he felt just how deeply you were buried inside him.
“It is not that big,” you sneered. “You are just small now.”
Sukuna scowled at your taunting words, shivering as you gently stroked his stomach. “Brat. That does not- ah- does not mean I cannot take you.”
You bared your teeth, trying for something similar to a smile. “I know.”
You knew that more than anyone. He was the strongest creature you had ever known, and would ever know. The only one you would ever bow down to, the only one you would serve and recognise as king.
You lapped up his tears, and Sukuna leaned heavily into your touch, like he had been starving for it.
He was starting to roll his hips impatiently, forcing the head of your cock to rub against his walls, lustful whimpers slipping out as he watched you move inside him. “I guess it has been a long time,” he heaved, trying to catch his breath as he worked himself up and down your shaft the best he could. “I am gonna—cum. Again. Hold me.”
It wasn’t an order as much as it was a plea.
You lifted his thigh high up to your chest, your other arm wrapping protectively around his waist as you violently slammed up into his tight hole, stuffing him full as he screamed. Strips of white painted his chest as he came all over himself, and you hooked your jaw over his shoulder to dutifully lick them up.
It took him less than a minute to recover, hips jerking in your grip and whimpering pitifully to get your attention.
“Fuck me,” he sobbed, way too sensitive as you started to move him up and down your cock again, canines grazing his neck. “Fuck me harder.”
You knew Sukuna wasn’t letting you do this only because he wanted you to let you take out your anger on him. He needed it himself, craved it, even—the violence, the overstimulation, the release. Centuries of not having you beside him. Centuries of being sealed up in a dark, empty space without the comfort of your warmth, the solace in your touch. He needed it now, more than ever, and you needed it too.
Ignoring his protests, you pulled him off your cock, setting him gently onto the nest on his hands and knees. Yanking his hips up, you forcefully pushed your shaft into him again, shoving him down by the neck when he tried to see what you were doing. He only moaned at the rough treatment, arching his back for you.
“Let me,” you told him, gently. “Let me take care of you.”
Sukuna panted, his two left eyes watching you with a strange reverence that only revealed itself when the two of you were alone and being intimate. It wasn’t exactly a promise to behave, but it was enough for you to start again.
Your tail curled around his thigh possessively, guiding it to spread wider as you rammed your hips against his repeatedly with heavy thrusts, the wet slaps deafeningly loud as they echoed through the cave. Sukuna had stopped trying to fuck himself on your cock, instead laying there and allowing you to position him as you wished, moaning lewdly every time the tapered tip of your cock forced itself against his sweet spot. He was squeezing deliciously around you with every thrust, his insides squelching as slick coated the entirety of your shaft, easing the stretch and glide.
“Gorgeous,” you growled, entranced by the way his hole greedily swallowed up your length, and he whined brokenly at the praise, trembling hands reaching back to spread himself open for you. You groaned out at the sight, driving yourself deep in before pulling out until only the tip stayed inside, and slamming back in again to drink in his pleasured cries. Somewhere in the middle of that he had cum again, spilling heavily into the nest as his knees gave out, legs shaking with overstimulation.
“So fuckin’ good,” Sukuna whimpered, no longer himself in the haze of his third orgasm—face smushed against the nest as he drooled. “Missed this—missed you so much, ah—”
You could feel yourself getting closer and closer, the edges of your vision blurring as you snapped your teeth together, focused on getting him off as much as possible first. Something strange and heavy was churning deep within you, being slowly dragged out from your depths and solidifying at the base of your cock—a feeling you hadn’t felt for a long time, you almost forgot what it meant.
You didn’t even know if it was possible to impregnate him in this form.
“Fill me up,” he sobbed out, cockdrunk already. The stutter of your hips had given it away—it didn’t matter if it had been centuries—his body could recognise it coming from a mile, like he was conditioned to be bred by you. “Want your eggs.”
You let out a hungry, animalistic whine at his words, claws digging into his hips and thighs as you towered over him in a proper mounting position, pounding harder and making guttural sounds of pleasure and want as you blindly chased your release. His eyes squeezed shut as he moaned wantonly, exposing his throat in a clear sign of submission, showing you that he wanted this, wanted you to stuff him full until he was bulging with your offspring.
“S-Sukuna,” you managed, wanting to bite, wanting to mark him, cock slamming directly into his sweet spot with reckless abandon, as though wanting to mark his insides as yours too. You could feel a knot bloating at the base of your shaft, heavy and swollen with solid weight, an unbearable pressure pushing and growing insistently somewhere down there, slowly travelling towards the rim of your cockhead. It was too much, too good, and you wanted to push deeper, deeper, make him feel it all the way to his throat.
“Knock me up already!” he wailed, pushing his ass back against you desperately as if that would speed things up. “P-Please. You know I want it. Been waiting for so long. I want it, please, please—”
He was begging so much that it was driving your instincts into overdrive, sight blurring, breath coming out in rapid, hot pants—he had rarely, rarely ever acted like this even before the two of you were separated—tears rolling down his cheeks as he cried his heart out for you to permanently mark his body as your own, distraught and broken like the only thing that could fix him was you.
It tore your soul apart to see your mate like this.
You fought to concentrate, but an invisible force was prying your jaws open, trying to get you to bite, clamp down on his neck and shoulder, taste his blood and drink in it.
“Bite,” you wheezed out with difficulty as your hips continued to pound into him of their own accord, and you tried your hardest to tell him that you were going to lose it any time. “Please—can—I?”
“Yes, you fucking fool,” Sukuna choked on a sob as you brutally shoved your knot into him, stuffing him full until he felt like he was bursting. “Mark me up, show me that I belong to you—”
And you did, jaws latching onto flesh and skin as your teeth punctured the juncture between his neck and shoulder, fangs sinking in deep, snarling, shaking, a burning heat exploding at your core as your vision whited out, emptying everything into him—ecstasy consuming your very existence.
When you came to be, he was whimpering weakly.
You could feel the cum steadily trickling out of his hole and down the back of his thighs—you had come so much that even the thick knot couldn’t keep everything inside—but you didn’t think that was the reason.
You could feel a heavy pressure present from your crotch to the gaping rim of your cockhead, pain and pleasuring splitting you apart, and you let out a wounded noise as you pushed the first egg into the body of your mate.
“S-shit,” Sukuna croaked out, thighs trembling as the egg settled into him, straining at the sudden heavy weight in his stomach. “H-how many are there?”
“There are two,” you hissed out, and his eyes widened. “Two more.”
He let out a pained whine, eyes fluttering close as he waited for the next, and the next. “Brat,” he managed. “I might not be able to stay awake.”
You pulled back the best you could, manhandling him gently so that you could rest him on his side, knot still lodged inside him. “It is okay,” you told him, softly. “I will take care of you.”
Sukuna couldn’t remember, for the life of it, the last time that he had felt so heavy.
He blinked his eyes open, and was greeted by the sight of his swollen stomach, now stuffed with three whole eggs, and at least a gallon of your cum. He sighed with contentment, wriggling to settle comfortably into the warmth of the nest, hands settling on his stomach.
Yuuji was going to try and kill him, no doubt. Not that his vessel would ever come close to succeeding. He found himself grinning evilly at that.
Sukuna was about to fall asleep again, before he noticed a lack of body heat behind him.
He was breathing in your scent as the entire cave was drenched in it that he hadn't realised immediately, but you were nowhere in sight. A hollow feeling swept over him in waves at the thought of being used and abandoned, and he bit back a whimper. Stupid, useless instincts. He hated how weak you made him.
“Brat,” he called, softly, too tired to sit up. “You are here?”
You grunted.
You had been sitting at the far edge of the nest for the past hour, gaze locked onto the entrance of the cave, guarding your now pregnant mate from any foolish intruders. That was… one of the two reasons. The other reason was to guard him from yourself.
Sukuna called for you again, and you could not resist stealing a glance.
The sight before you was making you light-headed with desire that you could not afford to have, not right now. You stared down at him just as he looked up at you, swollen and bulging with your offspring, mindlessly stroking his huge stomach with cum still trickling down his ass and thighs.
Fuck. You were so hungry. You would always be hungry for him.
Sukuna’s face split into an arrogant smirk. “Why, after all that, and you still want more.”
“Do not,” you warned lowly, trying your best to look away, even as he shamelessly spread his legs, showing you the mess you had made between his thighs. “Sukuna. Not now.”
“Why not?” he leered, taking pleasure in your distress. “Scared you will break me?”
You growled. “Yes.”
“Weak,” he taunted. “I do not remember picking a weak fool as my mate.”
“I am not weak.” You bared your teeth at him, and he simply laughed at you.
“So easy to rile up,” he hummed. “Come here.”
“... No.”
He looked even more amused. “Come over, brat. I will not do anything vile.”
“So you know you are vile,” you said, and despite your words, begrudgingly strut over and buried your face into his neck, ignoring the dull heat persisting in your lower abdomen.
Sukuna sighed as you lapped affectionately at the fresh mating bite, closing his eyes and basking in the heat of your body. “I never- ah- denied it in the first place.”
You pulled back to glower at him, clawed hands settling back on his hips where they belonged—now carrying the weight of your offspring. He reached up to cradle your face now that you were steadying him, unfazed by your glare.
“And you still love this vile creature?” he murmured, gazing at you with an expression no less than tender.
“Love,” you repeated, like it would make sense if you said it a second time. You felt more for him than just love. If love only made your skin feel warm and your heart beat fast, like the mortals have told, then this feeling was something much, much more than love.
Sukuna merely grinned, and you knew he felt the same.
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