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#ur really cool btw
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Jesus Crist darling. I can't read the extra fun stuff... anyway, just sending something from one of my accounts. We will see which one when you respond. But more or less keeping this for later.
I changed the color a bit so it should be legible now
I’ve been messing around with the colors for a while
Also I got really excited when you followed this blog ngl
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inkskinned · 7 months
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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isatoru · 2 years
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happy birthday!!!
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IM CRYING the memekjseh THANK U SO MUCH LAMB !!! <333 i am squishing u back just like that ^^
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yayswag · 6 months
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rlly silly doodles based off of a post the hc goat @tegr1dy made about stan and kyle adult braces that had me laying awake at night 😭😭😭
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aroaessidhe · 4 months
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sword of Kaigen
standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors
follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city
and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage
when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people
#The Sword of Kaigen#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I’ve been meaning to read this for years and I finally got around to it! a really unique fantasy novel#I had always assumed this was ur average pre-industrial high fantasy and then was immediately hit with video games/tv in the first chapter#lmao. But overall (aside from the broader worldbuilding/politics) it is closer to the average ‘historical’ fantasy narrative -#so I can see why I got that impression#Some really compelling characters and interesting narrative structure that went in some unexpected directions.#It really focuses in on one village and how devastating a single battle in a war can be to their people - and how much work the recovery is#I feel like most sff is more concerned with a single person and/or the whole war so this felt unique. did also mean that the pacing was odd#- it's a slow start; then there’s a battle that must be hundreds of pages. The last section of the book feels a little too drawn out#and brings up random hanging plot elements that don’t really go anywhere. But I think overall this works for the story.#also one thing I didn’t love - cool complex interesting female character MC sure but also there’s weird moments like:#the first scene we see her is all the housewives comparing their attractiveness; she keeps referring to herself as an old woman (when she’s#and oh so meek and useless etc. And some of this feels like it’s part of the broader portrayal of the misogynist society#but some of it felt clunky or unintentional?#And then especially the end - when she and her shitty husband finally confront each other as equals and he apologises#she basically immediately forgives him and is like oh I was equally at fault because I am a meek woman who didn’t try either#like him realising he was wrong (and her realising he had a reason for being the way he was) doesn’t negate the fact that he treated her li#she acts like it was her fault for not trying too - when we have numerous examples of him berating her if she spoke up about anything?#like im glad he’s learning. but also that doesn’t mean she needs to suddenly forgive and love him wtf#that's the only real thing that annoyed me though.#also btw that 5yo seems kinda fucked up. are you guys gonna do anything about that
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valleyyofthemoonnn · 1 month
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thank u beloved mutual @hillcrypt for the tag !!!!! -RULES: answer and tag 9 people who you want to get to know or just catch up with! favorite color: pink. i am pink's bitch. And proud of it last song: anthems for a seventeen year-old girl by broken social scene (shocker)
currently reading: tbh ive been so depressed ive stopped reading entirely which makes me sad :(. i want to read Piranesi though, because of the Laika movie news and a friend said i'd like it. i might get it soon currently watching: been rewatching adventure time and columbo and also continuing new girl ! it makes me laugh currently craving: mmmmmm big sandwich..... coffee or tea: both but i prefer coffee (iced spanish) hobbies to try: duude tbh i really wanna try to play a ttrpg <- is so scared of doing improv but also i wish i had the motivation to do more sewing.. i made a little mouse girl plushie earlier this summer and shes my fav thing ever current au: i have literally no clue how to answer this But i do want to say that ive been thinking a lot about the locked tomb college au. Objectively hilarious au given the everything about that series. i love it tags: @cowboys1million @bacap07 @slytheo @lip-scrub @theworldlookswhite @quantumxwoody @end-of--the-line @dragonpoof17 @lunarblazes woe tag game be upon ye
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warchord · 2 months
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ivkai i gave up on! doodles under the cut!!!
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one day ill have something more finished to post but today is not that day <//3
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bread-that-draws · 9 months
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Internets obsession with Sans Undertale will always be famous 2 me bc 11 year old me was there in 2015 watching blue lightsaber penis happen in real time and then I play the actual game and it’s like. He’s truly just some guy. He’s just there to troll his brother and then drops “i met ur adoptive mother in the woods and she asked me to protect you and if she didn’t oh boy your ass would be grass”. and goes back to just being a guy. Finish pacifist and he goes “I’m gonna go keep an eye on my insane brother” and walks in the opposite direction. Then 11 year old me is like ok what is the hype about. Why do we want this man so bad. Then I play geno and he’s like OUR STUDiES HAVE SHOWN OUR TIMELINE IS BEING FUCKED. UR ASS IS GRASS. GET FUCKED and like. 11 year old me thought it was kinda cool I guess but sure the entire internet wants to fuck this guy. Whatever. Fingers in his ass Sunday
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ninathekillerzblog · 11 months
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@jeffthekillerzblog wants a jeff x y/n fic
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if u want fanfics u should probably go check out @tic-toc-clock77 , they're AWESOME at writing and im not genuinely upset over the requests....
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kakusboyfriend · 1 year
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oh the character i see as very aromantic has a love interest? and it was a "love at first sight" type deal you say?
haha oh thats so funny and cute. no its fine. im fine.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
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whos-norman · 1 year
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@littlesliceofimmortality has interacted with me a few times, we are now best friends. this goes for everyone who has interacted with me at LEAST one time
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iwoulddieforienzo · 8 months
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Something that makes reading TOA so devastating is how fucking much Apollo feels about Everything. There’s so MUCH. Like I don’t even know how to describe it to you if you haven’t read the books yourself. He has so many complicated thoughts and emotions about just about everything and he cares about everything so much and there is just SO MUCH going on in his head. And yet none of it ever reaches his mouth!!
He almost never says what he’s feeling. What little comes out of his mouth about his thoughts barely even scratches the surface of what he actually means. Like he’ll be having a long ass monologue about how incredible someone is, showing a deep understanding of them as a person and empathizing with them so hard you’d almost think it’s projection but it’s not he’s legitimately just mind melding with this random person he met like a week ago and he’s thinking the softest, kindest thoughts about them like he knows they’re fucking incredible - and what comes out of his mouth is just like, “you’re a wonderful friend :)” AND ITS LIKE. THERES SO MUCH MORE UNDER THE SURFACE. the sheer admiration and adoration he has for everyone around him……… UGHHH!!! But he never VOICES ANY OF IT!!!!!! He never tells anyone about what Zeus did to him……. He never tells anyone except the reader about his realization that Zeus is abusive…. He never even tells commodus about how much he adored him, not then and not now… he refuses to tell anyone when he’s in pain or tries to justify the things he does when he actually had Decent Reasons for why he did something… I’m. I’M. AUGH. AHHHHH
HE DOESN’T EVEN TELL US ALL OF HIS THOUGHTS IS THE THING. THERES EVEN MORE THAT HE IS NOT TELLING US!!!!! THE FUCKING OCEAN OF FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS HE HAS ABOUT EVERYTHING IS THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION. I AM IN DISTRESS.
And YET…. Even what slips out of his mouth is so fucking devastating it is SO devastating. He’s so fucking kind and gentle with Harley and Meg and and other younger Demis and his kids… he’ll act like an obstinate idiot and then turn around say something that drags the core of the person he’s talking to into the light like nail on the fucking HEAD like he reached into their soul and gave them the words to express something that they were struggling to say aloud or that they didn’t even realize about themself. Around the 2nd book he starts putting voice to some of his feelings and thoughts about others and even that tiny fucking sliver is overwhelming to the people he’s talking to bc he’s SO. AUGHHHH
#this is why ‘reading the TOA books’ fics fucking slap btw. because as embarrassing as his thoughts can be#so many of them are just incoherent screaming about how he loves everyone around him. devastating#like imagine helping out ur loser deadbeat dad who you don’t really know much about bc he’s flighty and hard to read#and finding out ‘wow he cares about us a lot more than I thought’#bc he literally almost dies to save you/your siblings and keeps following you all around everywhere#but he’s still like. your weirdo absentee dad. u don’t know hardly anything new about him other than an apparent suicidal streak#and then u find out that the whole time he was whining about chicken nuggets or whatever he was internally sobbing abt how much he loves u#and every time u were nearby he was going ‘MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY… JUST AS INCREDIBLE AS THEIR MORTAL PARENT!!!! BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE SUN!#HOW DID I EVEN MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY. UNREAL. THEY CANT BE MINE!? BUT THEY ARE!!! LOOK AT THEMMM!!?!!! IM SO PROUD……#my beautiful perfect angels… all of their parents best traits and none of our worst…. I am Barely restraining myself from sobbing#i would give u the WORLD if my father wouldn’t kill me for it :(‘#and it’s like. wow. okay dad. um. would have been nice to know that when we were all dying in The War#Please Hug Me Though.#imagine being a Random Ass Demigod who didn’t go on a big special quest or something like you are literally just Some Guy#and finding out that this weirdo loser god u gave a sandwhich to or something thinks you are so fucking cool#your own parent doesn’t know ur name but Apollo knows u on sight and read ur soul within the 2 seconds yall talked and he thinks you rock#how are you supposed to respond to that.#snack time#toa#longpost
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cinnabarts · 8 months
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bro we are teens
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thedeadthree · 2 years
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THE MAIN CAST OF A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE PT I: THE DANCE OF DRAGONS. choose your fighter
(x.x)
#oc: iovanna dayne#oc: una nathaira uller#oc: maekar targaryen#oc: illyria ilmestys#oc: elaenaera targaryen#oc: yoren snow#hotd ocs#hotd oc#asoiaf ocs#asoiaf oc#tv: house of the dragon#pt one because we really in it BAD here and have…….. so many clowns 🤍🤍😵‍💫 TY TO THEM BTW we are!! commuted! and that’s so rare for me!! love#yoren being the dragon piecer for his lance wyrmbane and bc nocticula is a veeery pointy baby ✨🥺#named his valyrian steel lance after his dragon ✨🥹#ellas is so ethereal and the quote is fitting for herrr ✨🕊😖 she was never much of a fighter..? u know?#but she was a dragon as well..! and she and gaelithox than proved that in the dance <3 proud of u both my babies!#asoiaf gets its very own ciri in illy!!!!!!! ✨😖🤍🤍 daughter or destiny!!!!! aemy ur dear is so cool ✨😖#the bloody bloodline of maegy (beloved) gave us maeky!!!! <3 aeryal you lucky duck you <3 (if anything HE is lucky to have HER <3 ✨😌)#bloody baron was a moniker mostly a misnomer bc zahkriisos is a very VERY scarlet red 🥀💌 but the name stuck and he didn’t mind! <3#UNNNNAAAAA the greens her look here as aegys mistress of whispers (emphasis on mistress alsjxj ✨😵‍💫🐍)#its about the ouroboros symbolism it’s the i am what u made me ITS ABOUT THE SYMBOLISMM <3 symbolism and una my beloved#AND CRYING over my dear girl my mistress of mists etc etc <3#CELESTIAL SYMBOLISM CELESTIAL SYMBOLISM AND VANNA 🔮💜😖 the quote from her fic HAD to be included u know?#thank you d*aemon t*argaryen in the fic for giving us the most romantic of sentences <3 🔮✨#included their houses and sigils in their edits as well <3#and iykyk on nocticulas design and who from what was the inspiration of their design and appearance 🖤😵‍💫#leg.ocs#leg.edit#*myedits#*ocedits
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stinkrascal · 9 months
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the mnt pass song in baldurs gate is on..........time to focus
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