#update: everything is going well I guess??

[impossiblyizzy]

Just had the absolutely delightful experience of listening to Best Friend recap the first few episodes of wwdits for Housemate before we all watched it together

[chairofchaos]

them: is this the hill you want to die on?

me: no, but it’s where I’ll leave your corpse

[corpsentry]

just updated tumblr mobile for the first time in two years and mein gotte everything is so large. i am also now able to view polls for the first time in my life and it is stressing me out. i can only look at one thing at a time and there are now more than five

[kellystar321]

.

[victorluvsalice]

-->And had Alice start doing more werewolf stuff! As not only was she very high in Fury, she was ALSO getting very close to gaining another ability point. So once she was done with her lunch, I had her enhance her sense of smell and go out scavenging. This unfortunately didn’t yield anything, so I decided to have to go check out the community garden area nearby (it is – nearer to that one barbecue surrounded by herbalism potions than I first thought) and had her tunnel over there –

And THAT put her over the edge! :D Delighted, I paused a moment to consider my options (and also have a snack in the real world) – and while “Pack Howl” and “Lunar Howl” were both tempting, I went with “Hunting Party” so Alice could lead a group hunt with Victor and Smiler at some point. Because the family that hunts together… XD With that sorted, I had her look over the plants in the planters (nothing to harvest that they didn’t already have, though Alice was able to evolve some of the mushrooms), then check out the nearby sign for details about the next Finchwick Fair. I was thus informed that it was the Oversized Crop Fair on Saturday, with submissions of crops and pies both allowed –

And then I went – “hey. Today’s Saturday. And Victor totally has some oversized crops still hanging around in the fridge. I think we even have a pie. We should go!”

-->And so, with about two and a half hours to go, I started prepping the gang for the trip to the Fair! Smiler was fine – they’d had a nice flirt with Victor over his lunch, then drunk the last bottle of Fizzy Plasma in the fridge to control their thirst, so I had them fix the kitchen sink (which had broken after Victor had washed his dishes) before sending them to make more mechanisms. Victor, for his part, cleaned the chicken coop, then used his magic to clean up the puddle in front of the sink and repair another broken wind turbine – which just so happened to push HIM over the edge into getting another talent point! :D I considered my options, and eventually picked “Master Duelist” – I would like him to complete the Spellcraft & Sorcery aspiration at some point, and that means winning more duels, so – might as well give him the edge! I then gave him an oversized watermelon to submit (since, you know, summer) and had him make a nice chocolate pie with the dough in the fridge (since the blueberry pie in there was close to going off) – this got him up to Cooking level 8, so now he can make apple pies! Yaaay~

-->And while all that was happening, Alice had herself a little baby RAMPAGE! Because at that point it was easier to knock her over the edge of Fury rather than trying to cool it down. After a few howls and stomping around the world ferociously (though I made sure to keep her in a little secluded area of the fields, away from any wandering NPCs), she gave in to her inner beast –

And, as usual, simply scavenged a bit before I had her regain control. XD Her wolf instincts were demanding a nap, however, so I had her curl up on the ground for a little snooze while Smiler finished their second mechanism and Victor started the laundry…

[thefirstknife]

Peeked at twitter again unfortunately, and apparently people are mad that this week's seasonal story update was shorter? Literally it's a season that launches with the expansion. Every single one of those was smaller and lighter on the content.

Personally, I am enjoying that this season's storyline isn't too demanding. Clearly I love when we get a lot of lore, and we still get the usual initial dialogues, a lot of new weekly mission dialogues, ending dialogues and radio message + 2 lore pages. I have so much shit to do with Lightfall AND the exotic mission launched today which added so much new stuff to do so I was super glad that I was done with the weekly story in like 20 minutes.

Obviously the story was shorter due to the exotic mission launching alongside it. This seasonal story is also shorter in general, with only 6 weeks (6 lore pages to earn) which I am honestly relieved about because there's so much Lightfall content that I'm barely catching up with and there's the pinnacle grind that's kicking my ass because I don't want to die in every activity because an enemy looked at me. I get so overwhelmed with content when an expansion launches and there's also seasonal content. Sometimes I wish we got no season with the expansion.

So many people want things to slow down a little because we simply do not have time to grind 24/7, but then there's strange people who want a weekly update to require 6 hours of investement I guess. And of course everything in those 6 hours has to be brand new content, never before seen. If I see a single blade of grass that has been used as texture before, then Bungie is lazy. Obviously. /s

The only legitimate problem with this setup is for people who didn't get the expansion and only have the season. Their season is then not the exact same quantity as others. But it's never those people that make these complaints.

[keeps-ache]

game wants my email to play, i give it my email. i don't play game, because it was kind of eh anyway. they send me emails, because i gave them my email. i ignore them. they send me more emails. i ignore them. they send me email with a subject title that is essentially 'hey free stuff !!!!'. i boot up game. game wants to update. i know this takes forever so i do other stuff in the meantime. it doesn't finish updating for 3 hours. my computer is lagging. my music is bugging. my stylus is trying to fake another death. it's finally done updating !! i hit 'play'. loading screen for 30+ minutes and i can't listen to my music now because i don't have the option to turn off game's music on the loading screen. my everything is so slow. so so slow. but also.. despite all this................. free stuff.........

[poppyseed799]

poppy’s origin design tip, AKA a post that nobody who reads it will get any value from because I highly doubt anyone who sees this is making origins for the minecraft origins mod:

Night vision power LITERALLY allows you to give it different strength levels. USE THAT. It’s crazy how almost every night vision origin has freaking full-bright on. This isn’t me saying “don’t give them full brightness that’s too op!” it’s actually the opposite. Having complete vision in the dark can be quite DETRIMENTAL. I have an origin I made that has full power night vision, because it’s a zombie and I wanted to replicate the stupidity zombies have of walking straight into daylight like they don’t even see it. I knew that with full brightness it’s hard to tell how lit up an area is, and I wanted that as a downside! I used the night vision as a double edged sword; yes you can see perfectly in the dark BUT you’ll have trouble differentiating between light and dark.

And the thing is, night vision as a power doesn’t have to be a double edged sword. Literally in the base mod the Feline origin has a perfect balance of night vision to where you can see in the dark just fine AND you can still tell what spots are darker/brighter than others. On that note, if you don’t want your origin to have perfect water vision, make sure you take away the night vision while they’re in water… like y’all can literally copy the feline code for the PERFECT night vision power and somehow every single night vision origin I see is so wrong. Like man.

+ the full night vision is just aesthetically not it lmao. Coming from someone who LOVES blasting my eyes with bright colors and spent much of my early minecraft years chugging night vision potions every possible second even in the nether. It doesn’t bother me much but I KNOW it’s gotta bother others. Make it subtle or at least not overbearing.

[hplonesomeart]

Old record player spin my beloved <3

[moe-broey]

AH I also had a thought to make a pinned (feels sacrilegious to me and the way that I am LMFAO) but not so much an introduction (that's what the bio is for that's all you get 😤😤😤) (which maybe I could update too actually 🤔) BUT

I'm a very disorganized person in general try as I might to have SOME semblance of organization. But I think it could be useful to list some tags that have specific things in them. Like I do wanna get more serious about comics/storytelling especially, plus I want to start collecting/compiling more Askr refs -- making a masterpost of where to find everything could be useful! Plus might help me figure out consistent tags for it too.

Much to think about......

[kit04kat]

I like to think that all the bat siblings just randomly drop insane lore about themselves. Like- they all have so much going on that there's no way to update everyone on everything so whenever one person mentions something crazy that happened in passing, the rest of the bats that didn't know are super chill about it. Except Bruce. When he finds out something he doesn't know, he always freaks out a little bit (control freak).

(Tim taking his daily antibiotic)

Bruce (trying to remember if something happened on patrol): Are you injured?

Tim (casually): No I'm alright. I've just had to take these ever since I lost my spleen.

Jason: Word. Good to be careful I guess.

Bruce (internally panicking): You lost your spleen?

Tim: well, maybe lost is the wrong word. I'm pretty sure Ra's Al Ghul still has it in a jar somewhere.

Jason: Not even surprised. He's creepy like that.

Bruce: ??!??!?!?!!

(Dick, Cass, Tim, and Bruce after patrol one night)

Tim: Hey Dick that was a cool move you pulled back there

Dick: Oh that? Yeah I learned that when I was apprenticing for Deathstroke.

Cass (nodding): Skilled fighter.

Dick: Yeah, situation kinda sucked but oh well.

Bruce: (Trying to piece together when the fuck that happened)

[getvalentined]

An open letter to @staff

I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.

The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.

Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.

This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.

This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.

Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.

You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.

Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.

This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.

You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.

The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.

You can do so much better than this.

Response to the Update

Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.

I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.

Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.

People read it that way because that is what you said.

*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:

136,635 votes breaks down thusly:

An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)

Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)

This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)

[butchvamp]

trying to write anything since halloween has just been pulling teeth

[goldsainz]

# OP81 — “MOTHER’S” BEST FRIEND !

MASTERLIST !

001. SUMMARY !

✯ oscar cannot stop thinking about charles’ girlfriend’s best friend.

002. NOTE !

✯ the title is a joke, because you know… charles is his father so alexandra is his mother (?)… and reader is her best friend… okay bye. also this all very silly, a crack fic, if you will!

liked by oscarpiastri, estellebke and 96,427 others

yourusername can’t talk right now, i’m doing hot girl shit

view all 1,406 comments

alexandrasaintmleux Beauty ✨

⤷ yourusername says youuu

ynfan1 oh mother

ynfan2 SHE’S SOOOO HOT

oscarfan1 we see you lurking oscar

⤷ oscarfan2 lurking is an understatement tbh

ynfan3 guys who is oscar

⤷ ynfan4 f1 driver! charles leclerc’s “adopted” son… it’s a whole thing

oscarfan3 yk what i respect the hustle

ynfan5 that man needs to go away, leave my girl alone

oscarfan4 mclaren might not be wag-less in 2025…

⤷ oscarfan5 it should’ve been me😔😔😔

ynfan6 can you all just admire yn and shut up

ynfan7 face card never declines

yourusername updated their instagram stories!

oscarpiastri responded to your story!

oscarpiastri Her clothes suit you really well!

yourusername haha thank you

oscarpiastri I mean, you’re very pretty so I guess everything suits you actually

yourusername you guess?

oscarpiastri I just wanted to say you’re very pretty oscarpiastri Sorry this is so awkward I don’t know what to say

yourusername it’s okay! you’re cute too ☺️

oscarpiastri Oh oscarpiastri Thank you

yourusername you’re welcomeee ❤️ : oscarpiastri liked your message!

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, madelineargy and 132,058

yourusername made it to my favourite petit country

view all 1,982 comments

oscarpiastri Need a tour guide?

⤷ yourusername would love to have an aussie tour me around monaco

⤷ landonorris Didn’t think you had it in you!

⤷ oscarpiastri Go away.

⤷ charles_leclerc Look at you, little bird, already leaving the nest!

⤷ oscarpiastri ALL OF YOU GO AWAY

⤷ yourusername um… hello?

ynfan21 gorjus… gorgeus… 😍

oscarfan21 lando and charles casually being here?????

ynfan22 get these men out of her comment section

ynfan23 wait there’s potential for a power couple

⤷ oscarfan22 YES THAT’S WHAT WE’VE BEEN SAYING

ynfan24 “need a tour guide” LMAOOOO

ynfan25 how is she so effortlessly beautiful

oscarfan23 oscar move aside, i want her

randomphotographer and randomuser1 updated their instagram stories!

[otakubimbo]

Sick Days

Sylus x MC!Reader

Sylus couldn't get in contact with you and he knew that being a hunter was a dangerous job but what you had wasn't an injury to your body per say. It was an injury to your immune system. AKA Sylus taking care of you when you're very very sick

OB: Hi I started writing this while i had covid back in august and I'm working on clearing out all of my old fic drafts so bear with me on any other updates

masterlist

A groan escapes your lips as you forcefully peel your eyes open. Your throat hurts, your head hurts, your body hurts, everything hurts. It took you a bit to register that the banging wasn’t in your head, but it was at your front door. Every cell in your body screaming at you to stay in your bed, but the knocking just wouldn’t stop.

As you sit up out of bed, your head immediately spins from the sudden motion.

“Fuck,” you attempt to steady yourself before fully getting out of bed, but it was hard. You tried to take a deep breath but that just caused you to have a coughing fit. The burn in your throat and chest is almost unbearable. The toll of whatever sickness you had had a harsher effect on your body than you thought. Initially, you assumed you could have just slept off whatever it was but now you were so sure.

Slowly, you struggle your way to the front door, blanket securely wrapped around you since you were freezing. Eventually, you get your door open as you glare at a well-dressed chest, your eyes racking up to see the owner of said chest. It was, of course, Sylus.

“Well, hello there, kitten. Nice to finally see you.” He smirks down at you for just a moment before noticing the state you were in, gently pushing you back to enter your space, closing the door behind him.

“What are you doing here Sylus?” You ask, your voice is scratchy and hoarse.  Sylus brow creases as he gives you a once over.

“Mephesto claims you haven’t left your house in two days, and you haven’t been answering my messages or phone calls.” He says as he raises a hand to your forehead to gauge your temperature. You swat his hand away as you realize what he was saying. Two days? You haven’t left for two days??? You were just at work yesterday when you got sent home, right? Holding your hand out, you request him to hand you his phone which he does with no complaint. Ignoring the picture of the two of you as his lock screen and notice that in fact it had been two entire days since you had been home. You shove his phone back into his hand and shuffle back to your room to look for your phone. There it sat on your nightstand, still on the charger, opening it up to see several messages and missed calls from Sylus of course but some from Luke and Kieran, a few from Jenna and Tara telling you to get well soon, along with a few from Rafayel, Xavier, and Zayne.

“I-“ you stutter as you sit down on your bed, “ I guess I’ve been in and out of sleep this whole time.” You say with a frown, attempting to rub the pain out of your head. As you go through the numerous texts, a coughing fit erupts making Sylus run over to rub your back. He tries to soothe you as your fit dies, rubbing your back gently as you calm down, taking the blanket from around you, pushing you to lay down and tucking you in. You hadn’t even realized that you were truly TUCKED in until Sylus is running a hand over your cheek and you can’t move.

“Let me out Sylus” You struggle from how tightly he tucked you in, but you didn’t have any real strength in you to get out.

“No can do, kitten. You’re sick and I’ll just have to take care of you.” He puts his hand on your forehead to truly check your temperature. You were burning up and it took everything in Sylus to keep a neutral face, he was worried about you. He had originally thought, you had just buried yourself in work again but seeing you in this state does something to his heart that he doesn’t like. You were such a strong woman and now where you were, weak and frail and not from any wanderer just from what was probably the common cold.  

“I’ll be fine, I can take care of myself.” You refute, struggling yet again but not putting up much of a fight. Theres a slight twitch in Sylus expression as he watches you.

“Please” Sylus voice comes out just above a whisper and you stop moving. It caught you off guard and you stopped fighting. “Thank you, so stubborn” he kisses the top of your head as you scoff.

You hadn’t even realized that you were falling asleep until you were being woken up by Sylus gently.

“What’s going on” you look around confused as you attempt to sit up, Sylus grabs your arm helping you as a rag falls off the top of your head.

“You have to eat something Kitten.” Sylus states as he grabs a bowl of some type of soup putting the spoon up to your mouth. You take a sip of it without complaint, it soothes but hurts your throat at the same time causing a groan to come out of your mouth. Sylus inhales a deep breath, gripping the spoon harder. You weren’t getting better, if anything it seemed like you were getting worse. Your skin was getting pale, your temperature wasn’t going down, and all you were doing was sleeping and while you were sleeping you were shaking. You were in cold sweat; he had to change the rag on your head almost every thirty minutes.

“It hurts, Sy” You grimace after you try to swallow another spoon full of soap. Your voice was so weak, you looked so frail, it was literally breaking his heart to see you like this.

Sylus puts down the bowl, “Just lay down sweetie.” He helps you get back under the covers and before he can even get back with another towel for your head, you’re asleep.

Now Sylus was a prideful man for sure, but for you, for you he would do anything, for you he would put aside his pride. He knew he couldn’t just call any sort of doctor because of the aether core in your heart, so he knew he had to call your doctor, Doctor Zayne. But oh, did he hate Dr.Zayne, YOUR Dr.Zayne. Sylus just knew that man was in love with you, your childhood friend who spent his life becoming a heart surgeon and then being your personal doctor. Tsk, he’s heard of the whole childhood friends to lover’s trope, he wasn’t a dumb man. He wasn’t dumb, but he was desperate, and he needed you to get better. It had already been a full day since he had been in your place, and you just kept getting worse. Begrudgingly he picked up your phone and did what he had to do.  

You don’t remember much in your sick haze. It was hard to even distinguish what was really going on or what was part of your fever dreams. You lucidly remember Sylus waking you up to give you soup and take medicine. You think you remember Zayne coming in which would make sense, he is your doctor, but you also remember Xavier? Maybe you weren’t particularly sure, it wouldn’t really make sense for him to be there, but you were sure you remembered seeing him.

Eventually, you gain a full sense of consciousness. Surprisingly, your body doesn’t ache like it has been and there isn’t an immense pressure in your head. You attempt to sit up when you notice a hand holding onto your arm, and attached to the hand was Sylus. A soft smile spreads on your face as you see him sitting most likely uncomfortably in a chair next to your bed. His head was laid beside you and his hand grasping onto your arm. You had no clue had long he had been there or how long he had been taking care of you. The pill bottles, half eaten soup and cups of water you don’t remember drinking or taking had to have come from somewhere and it wasn’t you.

“Ah, I see the kitten has finally stirred from her hibernation.” Sylus exhausted face meets your curious eyes.

“Yeah, I’m feeling much better.”  You say with a yawn and a stretch. The gaze he is giving you makes you feel small, causing you to turn away from him, “thank you”

His hand reaches out to grab your chin gently, “You had me worried, sweetie. You had a respiratory infection and pneumonia. What would have happened to you if I wouldn’t have come?” His jaw is set tight and you don’t think you would ever see the feared Onychinus leader looking scared. He was scared, scared he was going to lose you…...again.

“…… I’m sorry but you took care of me and I’m fine now. Yeah?” You say turning your head out of his hands in more embarrassment as you busy yourself with straightening out your night stand. As you pick up the bottle of pills, you notice you see that Zayne prescribed these. You glance between the bottle and then at Sylus.

He scoffs before taking the bottle from your hand, putting it back down “Well of course I had to reach out to your doctor. Your fever wouldn’t go down.”

“But you hate Zayne?”  You questioned as you tilt your head in a way that was way too cute for Sylus.

“I do not hate the doctor. I just don’t like how friendly he is with you on the occasion.” He scoffs at the giggle you let out, “And I’m aware that you are childhood friends, but the man should have some boundaries”

That makes you laugh even harder, not THE Sylus Quin talking about boundaries. He wouldn’t know a boundary if it shot him in the heart. It was sweet, he was being so sweet.

“Yeah, I thought seeing him was just a fever dream I was having actually. Funny enough, I thought I also saw my friend Xavier here.”

The noise that leaves Sylus had you holding back the biggest laugh that you could possibly muster. So in fact you had not imagine Xavier, he had actually been there and surprisingly Sylus let him in.

“Another one of your ‘friends’ who needs to work on their boundaries. He came over in the middle of the night questioning about your whereabouts after sending you NUMEROUS texts and phone calls. He was insistent on seeing you or he would have gotten your little hunter association involved and I didn’t think you would want that.” He groans with this cute pout on his face. “It seems you have a lot of these type of ‘friends’ who lack any type of boundaries. You should work on that sweetie.”

You reach out to grab his face making him look at you, his gaze softened when he saw your face “Thank you for taking care of me, Sy.”

He grabs your hand a places a small kiss upon the back of it, “Of course Kitten”

[pellucid-constellations]

Of Oblivious Minds (3)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Azriel's POV (it's a warning here), angst

a/n: I am blown away by all of you and your support!! I really love writing for this fandom omg. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy ♡ Let me know what you think!! I'll get the next update up soon!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

~~

Azriel was losing his ever-loving mind. 

A few weeks ago, everything was fine. Not optimal, but fine. 

He knew his mate, and that was more than could be said for most of Prythian. But even more than that, he could love her from afar. He could make small remarks and catch the smiles they would elicit. He could send his shadows after her on her walks home, protecting her even though she had the entire Inner Circle looking out for her wellbeing. He could buy the ridiculously expensive pastries she loved and stock the kitchens with them, listening for the small gasps she let out each time she found them.

He could talk to you, listen to you, love you in his small ways, even if it wasn’t the ways in which he longed for. 

Because it wasn’t the right time yet. You hadn’t felt the bond for yourself. 

So, yes—admittedly, Azriel had not been in the most optimal position with you. But it was leaps and bounds better than the purgatory you were subjecting him to now. 

He mulled over his current reality as he sat opposite to you at the dining table. He had had to snag the seat from Mor, ripping the chair from her hand in an uncharacteristic show of aggression, and you hadn’t so much as looked up from your plate. He would’ve rather fought for the seats beside you, but Rhys and Cassian had been sitting before he even entered the room. So now he fought for your eyes and was too far away to offer any lingering, accidental touches. 

Not that you would reciprocate either. 

You were avoiding him, and Azriel was at his wit's end trying to decipher why. 

His shadows had relayed dismal reports, only whispering the words sad and alone and contemplative into his ears each morning. He could have guessed as much, if the display of emotions he had tried to comfort you through all those days ago told him anything. 

But Gods, did they really tell him nothing, because you hadn’t spoken to him since. 

“—that is certainly something to consider. Y/n, would you be open to the job?” 

“Hm?” you hummed, and Azriel watched as your eyes flickered over to Rhys in one abrupt movement. “Sorry, what?” 

Rhys raised a brow lined with humor, and Azriel realized he hadn’t been listening to the conversation either. “Helion has extended an invitation to the Night Court—for diplomatic relations and all. It’s mostly a weekend stay for show, but he has quite an extensive library. Feyre and I went last time so it would only be fair if—” 

“Yes,” you nodded, the most emotion Azriel had seen on your face in days blooming into a joyous array. “Of course, I would love to go. Are you kidding?” 

Rhys chuckled. “I figured. Helion has been quite eager to get you to come as well. Seemed like the perfect time.” 

Azriel didn’t miss the way the High Lord’s eyes shone with something other than mirth as he looked closer at the scholar… as he inspected your facade the same way Azriel had been for the past week. 

“When can I leave?” 

Something in Azriel scratched to a halt. “She’s to go alone?” 

Feyre offered the spymaster a soft smile from the other side of the table. “If she wishes. Helion’s invitation was open-ended.” 

“Take the vacation, I say,” Mor piped in, wine glass raised in a solitary toast. 

“Or… you could take me,” Cassian grinned beside you, jostling you in a playful grip. 

You sent a scoff his way. “Aren’t you banned?” 

“No, actually. I’m banned from Summer Court, which is completely unrelated.” 

A short laugh trickled from your lips. It wasn’t a full one, not like the ones Azriel was so used to—the ones he basked in—but it was a laugh, nonetheless.

He felt the way his eyes seemed to follow the crescendo of it, his blinks in time with the sweet sound. 

He committed it to memory. 

“Right, well let’s keep you away from neighboring courts as much as possible so we can avoid a repeat of that, okay?” 

Something like a grin fought at the side of Azriel’s mouth at your quip. 

Cassian prattled on. Something about unjust rules or ridiculous high lords—Azriel wasn’t paying attention. He was too caught up in you and the way you were so close to meeting his gaze. 

“Perhaps she shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel spoke up, interrupting his brother’s spiel. You still didn’t look at him, instead turning to catch Rhys’s response. 

“Azriel, I can assure you this is a safe visit,” Rhys offered. He knew. Everyone seemed to know but you. “It’s hardly even business. It’s more of a vacation. I’ve been shoving century-old relics in her face for the past few months. She deserves time to herself, don’t you think?” 

His High Lord was speaking in code. A terrible, frustrating code that really meant, “give her some distance.” 

Azriel had had enough of distance. 

He nodded his head all the same. 

And then, despite all odds, you looked at him. 

You looked at him and it was as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. As if he had been wrung out and stretched thin and every bone in his body forced him to sit up straighter. You were looking at him and Azriel couldn’t conceptualize the way the spectrum in his chest moved so quickly from utter relief to the brink of desolation. 

Because you looked at him as if you were broken. A sad—such a sad—smile graced your face, one he had never had the displeasure of seeing before, and he wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to kiss it from your face with soft touches and reassuring whispers and that was startling for Azriel because he usually kept his overwhelming urge to kiss you at bay. 

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir,” is all you said. Such simple words to accompany an expression that sent him reeling. 

“Thank you,” he replied, with the most sincerity he could muster. 

And then he held your gaze as it became downcast. He craned his neck to catch every last second of your eyes as they turned back down to the table.

It was hours later that Azriel found himself in the townhouse, boots creating an indent in the office carpet. Rhys sat just feet away from him, leaning back against the desk, waiting for the Shadowsinger to erupt. 

“I would like for you to position your spies further into Autumn. I know you have a few that have integrated into the court, but I need more intel on Eris and his plans.” 

“Of course.” 

“You can take out any currently residing in Day. Just for the next week or so. With y/n going, she can report any happenings.” 

A muscle in Azriel’s jaw jumped. “Would that be wise?” 

Rhys stared back at his brother, expression giving nothing away. “Why wouldn’t it be? Do you not trust y/n’s word?” 

Azriel’s wings were taut against his back. In truth, he hadn’t felt relaxed in days. With you leaving, that tension would surely pull him into thin compliance. 

“Obviously I trust her word, Rhysand.” 

“Rhysand? What have I done to earn your grievance?” the High Lord asked, crossing his arms over his chest, still the perfect picture of calm. 

Azriel was a juxtaposition before him as he clenched his hands and replied, “You already know.” 

“Do I know? I’m not sure you’ve been clear or honest with anyone. Y/n especially.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Rhys bent at the elbow and rubbed a restless hand across his jaw. Azriel ignored the movement in favor of holding eye contact with the High Lord. Azriel was being stubborn, he knew that, but there was no other way to be. 

He needed to be consistent and reliable. He needed to be a pillar for his family to lean on, and you were part of that. He wasn’t going to take that away from you—to be selfish and call upon a mating bond you hadn't even been made aware of yet. 

He wasn’t going to squander your friendship in the hopes of something more. 

There was a chance, no matter how much the prospect pained him to consider, that you wouldn’t want the bond. You had never hinted at wanting more with the spymaster, so there was no telling how you might react to the cauldron blessing you with a union. You could reject it, and with it would go your friendship. 

Just the thought sent ice through Azriel’s veins. 

Truth be told, he had never shown you many signs either. When the bond snapped months ago, it had taken time for Azriel to come to terms with the truth. He had ruminated on it amidst many sleepless nights, watched you from a new perspective over many dinners, and contemplated the path that had led him to you. 

And then he had regretted. Cauldron had he regretted. 

The feeling still lingered, a reminder of each woman he had taken to his bed before you. All of the fae that had meant nothing, and even the ones that had boarded on something, he wished he could do away with.

Because you had been privy to them all. He knew you had witnessed a few late-night trysts, and even worse, that you had watched him pine after Mor for a century. It all seemed so frivolous now; it all paled in comparison to you. 

And the absolute worst part of it all is that he knew. 

He knew how easy it would be to fall in love with you from the start, so he pretended not to notice. 

He threw himself into impractical longing and meaningless lovers and he pretended that it didn’t hurt to look at you. 

The bond had only cemented his foolishness. 

He hardly had a chance with you by the time it snapped. 

“Late night then, Az?” 

You had teased him over breakfast just days before the bond had snapped for him, a small smile on your face as you lounged at the table early in the morning. At the time, Azriel had bit the inside of his cheek and reeled in his snarkiness. He had avoided your gaze, avoided the robe that barely covered your nightgown, and made himself toast in silence. He had already coaxed the blonde fae out of his bed, and he hadn’t needed a reminder of the woman he had been imagining all throughout the night. 

Because that had been something else he opted to ignore—that he pictured you, imagined you, at all times. 

It snapped three days later. He had been accompanying you through Velaris. “Shopping for fun,” you had said, “and I hate to go alone.”

The only thing Azriel had taken home that day was a gaping hole in his chest and the knowledge that lying to himself had brought him nothing but pain. 

The months following were different. 

Everything was different. 

But for you, he had come to the grim realization, nothing was different at all. He was still Azriel, your friend Azriel, who was secretive and private and cared from afar. You still pictured him as a man who chose his lovers based on convenience and quick practicality even though he hadn’t so much as looked at another woman since your emotions began flowing through his chest. 

Gods, your emotions. They were so positive, so addicting, he could sit back and live his days through you until the end of time. You had so much unrestricted joy coursing through you—so much curiosity and delight. Part of Azriel dreaded the day you did recognize the bond; it would dim the connection to you.

That day in the library had been the first time the bond had chafed against his lungs. He had felt the earthquake beneath his feet and thought nothing of it, but then your fear punctured his being and he had run so fast his wings ached. 

And then you started having nightmares, ones he couldn’t fix, and Azriel began to feel like he was losing you. Like the bond was withering and eroding within him and you along with it. 

“How long, Azriel?” Rhys’s voice cut through the air with a harshness. 

The shadowsinger breathed through his nose, jaw tight. 

“Tell me. Tell me how long you’re going to keep this up for.” 

“You don’t understand, Rhys,” came Azriel’s low reply. “None of you do.” 

The High Lord scoffed. “Right, because I had it so easy with Feyre. Az, mates are complicated—” 

“Don’t,” Azriel breathed. A dangerous shakiness accompanied the word.

“Explain it to me. Help me to understand how—” 

“There was nothing for you to lose!” The rise of the shadowsinger’s voice sent Rhys into silence. “There was nothing! You hadn’t known Feyre for three centuries—hadn’t known what it was like to see her cry over worthless males or laugh until she was doubled over. You didn’t have time to memorize the sound of her voice or understand how it felt to lose that small piece of her. Because she won’t even talk to me anymore and—” 

Azriel cut himself off, moving for the first time since he entered office. He paced, the motion of his feet doing little to dispel the tension from the air or from his body. Azriel tugged a hand through his hair, his shadows following the aggressive pull and weaving through the strands. 

“How long?” Rhys asked again, but this time, Azriel knew that he was asking a different question. One that even he himself had avoided answering. 

The shadowsinger paused. His next words were tainted and his voice cracked. 

“I think forever.”

Part 4