#up for an hour and no notes

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[crustaceousfaggot]

No nuance allowed. Put your nuance in the tags, I just want a yes or no answer

[hinamie]

mentor

[palarien]

sketched this out at jury duty actually

[lotus-pear]

learning to love

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

STILL thinking about drunk chess actually

stupid as hell bonus:

[sprucebark]

anyone want fucking. wheat

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[itslottiehere]

-

[jackyjackdraws]

Redrawing one of my favorite drawings from The Book of Bill

God! These bitches gay! Good for them! Good for them!

[pa-pa-plasma]

love fics where Danny ends up in the DC universe & every alarm goes off at once & the magic users are like "yeah that's the most powerful being in the universe & also possibly super evil we are FUCKED fucked" & the Justice League is freaking tf out trying to find this thing that casually tore a hole in reality & it just cuts to Danny (Fenton) standing in the background blissfully unaware & like "man my life sucks but at least i have this candy bar—" *drops it in a puddle*

[spatialwave]

Jayce x Reader for the kiss prompts with the ‘kisses to keep your lover quiet during sex’ 👀 please please please

your wish is my command, hehe.

be quiet.

pairing: jayce talis x fem!reader word count: 957 tags: mdni! smut, shameless slut, pwp, vaginal sex, rough sex, choking, forceful kissing, reader is being way too loud lol. notes: an ask from this prompt list!!

You couldn’t help it, his cock was stretching you with every thrust and leaving your cunt aching for more. You rolled your hips against him, arms lifted above your head and pressed to the headboard as his name rolled off of your tongue.

“Be quiet,” he grunted, a large hand pinning your hip to the bed as he fucked you, huffing as he kept up a quick rhythm.

“Can’t,” you whined, “your cocks so big, I really can’t help it.”

You may have been overacting your coy behaviour, but it was true. Every thrust had you mewling in pleasure and it was near impossible to stifle the sounds.

It was a great compliment which stroked Jayce’s ego, but he still knew that fucking in the guest room that shared a wall with Caitlyn’s bedroom needed to be treaded carefully. Especially when the headboard was already thumping against it.

Your hands clawed at his chest, legs wrapped around his hips, “fuck me harder,” you whimpered.

“I said quiet,” Jayce groaned, leaning down and burying his face against your neck, lips and teeth dragging along the skin as his hips thrusted forward with a ruthless pace. The walls of your cunt felt so fucking good squeazing around his length, and he was doing his best to keep his own moans suppressed, but it wasn’t looking so good for either of you.

All he wanted was to sit upright on his knees and dirty talk you as he fucked you—watching the way you squirmed and would try to hide your face. Legs spread wide apart for him, his thumb circling your clit in a terrifyingly quick rhythm and watching your pussy take his big cock with no struggle like the good girl you were.

The best part? You could be as loud as you wanted, he could hear you scream his name until your throat was raw and fuck you until you were begging him to slow down.

But neither of you had that luxury as you were so graciously housed in the Kirramman house for a few nights.

You let out a sharp, loud moan when the head of his cock bruised your cervix—so deep you wanted to writhe away from his touch and treat the night like a game of cat and mouse.

Jayce was quick, lifting his head up from where he’d begun to litter your chest with love bites and capturing your lips into a heady kiss.

Immediately, your arms wrapped around his neck. Lips parting to give him access to your mouth, tongue gliding against yours and swallowing your moans.

“You like that?” He mumbled against your lips, tongue brushing against your teeth as he snaked a hand between your bodies and rubbed slowly at your swollen clit, his pace slowing.

You couldn’t answer back, lips and voice muffled by the way he assaulted your mouth with his tongue.

It was so fucking hot, almost hotter than the way his cock pushed in so deep you felt like you were being split open. Your thighs tightened around his hips, arms gliding up until you could grab his hair in a fistful, the other resting on the front of his throat.

“Yeah” you whined into his mouth pathetically.

Jayce snapped his hips harder once again, fucking you relentlessly as the bed shook. He had to take shallow thrusts, anything too forceful slammed loudly against the wall and risked someone hearing.

“I’ll be quiet,” you urged against his lips, attacking them and licking into his mouth to taste the remnants of a black spiced tea.

“You sure?” he whispered, eyes fluttering as his stomach twisted. Sweat had begun to build up on his forehead and the back of his neck, meanwhile the pillow princess herself laid back and began to play with her tits while he did all the work.

Jayce loved it.

“Mhm,” you hummed, cheeks burning hot as the thumb circling your clit did wonders to push you closer to the edge. You could feel the bundle of nerves getting sensitive with each passing second, little jolts of electricity making your pussy tighten so hard around his cock he had to whine into your mouth.

“Fine,” he muttered, lips trailing down your jaw and neck, “you make any more sounds and I’ll stop.”

You were obedient, chewing on your bottom lip fiercely to keep yourself from moaning. You even had to lift a hand, the back of it covering your lips as you met your boyfriend’s gaze.

His free hand had gripped the top of the headboard, tight enough the wood creaked as he looked down at you, admiring your beautiful fucked out face.

“Ah, fuck,” he groaned, “I’m gonna’ cum,” he whimpered against your skin, jaw clenching as his orgasm neared with each harsh snap of his hips, “gonna’ fill that pretty pussy.”

Your hand fell from your lips and you closed your eyes, lips forming into an ‘o’ shape as your own release crept up on you. Before you could stop it, his name was rolling off your tongue loudly and he was forced once more to press his lips to yours and place a hand at your throat, fingers pressing on each side of your windpipe.

”Sorry,” you breathed into his mouth, nails digging into his chest as his choking left you pleasantly dominated.

“No you aren’t,” he mumbled, tongue licking against yours as you both met your release together in near-silence. Blissfully ignoring the idea that Caitlyn could hear everything.

…She could.

[kittykatninja321]

Baby Jason is never beating the 3 apples tall allegations I fear

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

[ganondoodle]

botw2 (totk rewritten) ganondorf design (+some story) post

Mummy version what link and zelda discover beneath hyrule castle when investigating the failing shiekah tech and discover a cave system that leads to several abandoned shiekah research/security sites and ultimately lead to a cave in which ganondorf is still sealed away by the ancient queen of hyrule; after the initial sealing (or capture rather) her descendant and the shiekah, who were rapidly advancing their tech at the time, build around it, both to keep the seal secret and safe (as the actual sealing was a short but intense battle between him and the queen that wasnt intended to happen like that, in the middle of the throne room that got broken and both ended up in the underground, the only survivor being the young princess of hyrule from that time- since all involved parties except for her died little was known as to how and why but the stories were spun regardless and ultimately the final narrative was in hyrules favor) and to use ganondorfs immense spiritual power and magical skill- eventually becoming one of the main power sources for all shiekah technology (ouch)

the chamber is all shiekah built (post sealing) and similarly secured like the monks in shrines (though visibly decaying and failing)- once disturbed the remainder of the ancient queen fused into zeldas hand (with seemingly no effect but temporary pain, perhaps she will hear voices from the past telling her not to explore any further .. still working on that) ganondorfs body falls to the ground but then springs back to life, somewhat clumsily but fiercly attacking zelda and link, the shock from being in this horrendous condition between life and death for thousands and thousands of years and suddendly being thrust back into his decayed and used up body still fresh

the mastersword is broken and links arm destroyed, both link and zelda start to flee from the crumbling cave, zelda dragging link behind her in panic (and as he is hurt)- after which link gets his shiekah tech arm (and the arm stays gone) and the world changes

mid game fight- this game is not as free in progression as botw, you can do alot when you want but some things will remain locked, the mid game fight can only happen once the 4 main regions problems have been dealt with (very different to canon totk, but that is for a different post) and the castle, which fell into the underground shortly after the intro, is made accessible (specific way how still in work) the interior is both broken castle, rooms previously blocked, and shiekah tech- since beneath the castle was a whole, giant array of tech made to secure the castle, including reserves of ancient energy specifically for the royal family and the entire mechanism behind the rising pillars filled with guardians-

at the start of the dungeon link is grabbed by malice/miasma hands and dragged into the castle, seperated from zelda and the mechanics she introduced (crafting/reparing weapons and more), theres no way out, teleports are blocked; after getting further in alone, zelda finds you again, and nothing seems out of the ordinary (unless you have a keen eye, she only uses her left arm and would walk past things she usually wouldnt) after a certain amount of progression, without warning, as soon as zelda is out of the cameras view she will attack you relentlessly, not speaking a word and with changed eye color- after fighting with her/beign chased into the main throne room, the real zelda breaks through a wall, her friends in tow (yunobo, teba+tulin, riju, sidon, which she went to to ask for help, explaining the time gap), and ganondorf drops the disguise, a fight with him (mummy version) ensues, though he is very much back to his senses

at the end of the fight he shows (or forces her to see) zelda his last memory from when he lived, the confrontation with the ancient queen to his sealing (since she doesnt know/is in denial of her families role in both all this and the sonaus (zonais) extinction (as well as the betrayal and persecution of the shiekah later on), and his beef is with her specifically, link is just her guard dog after all) (i wasnt sure to include a direct scene from the past, but this one scene is very self contained and gives alot of context while still letting most of the past be a mystery- as i want to keep it as feeling ... removed and unknown as much as possible from the world you know)

(after which he leaves the scene as zelda tries to understand what she just saw)

post revival Ganondorf (beginning of end fight cutscene and phase 1.) only appears at the end (excluding the possible cutscene in the mid game fight, which shows him in his time, alive, which is a different design than this that i will make for a cutscene/story post)

the end of the game is in/on the forgotten plateau (it ends were botw began :) ) perhaps it rose higher and revealed an entrance after more game progression (at least one more dungeon, master kogas, and the restorations of the master sword via deku tree dungeon and sword quest involving the dragons; how much of the past you cared to explore within caves, which ARE the underground- its in several bigger and smaller, harder to access caves, each being somewhat to very unique and reveal more context, is largely irrelevant, it mostly serves to give YOU more context and make you think)

the dungeon is within the plateau, once to the end there is a longer cutscene of zelda trying to talk with ganondorf, now in his, largely, restored form (largely as in, not exactly as he was in past, clothing difference etc), her having come to understand what her legacy is and wanting to take responsibility for it; he listens calmly and talks to her for a bit (but the tension is very high, he knows what threat he poses and his goals, zelda is visibly trying to keep it together) and for a bit it might look like she can avoid this conflict

but he makes it very clear then, that she cannot undo anything, there is no possible price she could pay, he has suffered at hyrules hands for generations, having seen the world that was his home grow into myth, see his own people forget him, and how the history was remembered, not as it was, but as they wanted it to; he is forever changed, ripped from his time and all he ever held dear (there are clues and a mention of him having had two daughters, a little boar figurine, carved from wood of trees now extinct, hangs from his belt even now)- he wasnt a perfect king, but well liked and kept his country to stay strong against hyrules schemes .. until he fell- he is not truly alive, he is in a strangers world and this world hates him, it is anger and hatred, rage against all that happend, guilt for having failed his own, feeling betrayed by them yet, even if not truly their fault as no one knew what really happened except him, but he was imprisoned, with no breath to speak nor air to scream

he does not care for this world and his only goals now are to disrupt as much as possible, be the unstoppable force that hyrules always been, be the monster they wanted him to be, do as he wants until someone stops him ...and kill zelda to end her rotten family- but even if she gave up her life willingly he wouldnt take it, she will have to fight and make her own hands dirty and she does not want to die.

your friends arrive, and the battle begins.

(rough examples of his weapons are further below; he fights with one arm only in phase 1. then reforms his missing arm with malice, borrowed from the boar appearance, though it is not usable enough to truly replace it, it acts more like beasts claw and to copy some of links abilities, like the hookshot)

Beast Ganon(dorf), normal appearance (phase 3)

at the end of phase 2 he knocks out your friends, changes into beast form and attacks you, zelda using her magic to shield both her and link so he cannot bite through, instead smashes them both through stone and dirt all the way to the surface of the plateau on which the fight continues, this time only link and zelda

(his movement isnt a senseless rage, but a graceful being, he moves and jumps, floats and swims through the air as the ground in an almost dragon like way, he still wields magic, not all malice, but lightning and perhaps even more too, it is still him, just a different form)

Beast Ganon(dorf) while charging magic (phase 3)

Ganondorf phase 2 + Ganondorf phase 4 (slightly out of order but the boar wouldnt fit on one picture with other forms)

at the end of phase 3 (beast) it seems like you have beaten him, he is down and zelda takes charge, ready to do as she did to the dark beast she faced before (dark beast ganon in botw) but as she raises her hand a sword slash cuts off half her right hand- he is not done yet and refuses to be dealt with like that again, not by her hand again-

the final phase is a mix of all, including his appearance, this is the final struggle, to give every last drop of strength, the hole in his chest is open, malice eyes staring from within, it keeps him alive yet still-

zelda is disabled for this fight, she has been taken to safety by your friends, this fight is all on link to finish; while this is his most desperate and vengeful form, he is not senseless either, he summons his sword to attack you with as he did in phase 2, then throws it at you, quickly conducting lighting to it and while you are busy dodging lunges like in beast form (to paint the picture a little), this fight is supposed to be truly challenging.

(heres a rough example for his weapons)

(not fully sure of the ending scene, but there is supposed to be a short view into a timeskip in which zelda also has half a prosthetic hand made from shiekah tech)

[ari-continues-to-exist]

Get love and hate confused

Can’t separate the two

Oh, my love, how I’ve hated you