#unwanted realizations

[chi0lea]

Forever the girl with a razor in her hands.

I try, I try as hard as I can for everything in life. When I’ve had nothing.

Never seen as the best friend, the true love, or even the girl who just makes you want to feel better.

I work hard for people to dismiss me, for relationships to never work out. For my life to grow harder and break me down.

Clenching a razor in my hands hoping to finally sink it deep enough. It’s never enough.

Feeling worthless for all I do. I am never good enough.

Feeling the sting of hope slipping away, I hate myself too.

Grasping my body wishing to change it. What’s so unlikable that I need to take a razor and cut out the ugly parts of me. Of my soul, my skin, my heart. Which life line can I bury enough to feel alive.

To feel the blood pool onto my flesh reminding me that I am warm inside as I fade to a cold light.

I’m forever the girl clenching the blade hoping its razor kiss will finally hit.

[ancientannoyance]

tfw that nerd from the sixth informs you that the cavalier you killed like a piece of meat is now slowly but surely becoming an indelible part of you and you just have to live with that

[son1c]

my second pass at a sonadow fankid. this time, it's a little more serious than the looney tune that is dawn lol.

this is 3. he was created by tails in an effort to develop the "ultimate defense system."

basically, tails was thinking back on how, during the forces war, eggman was able to conquer the world when sonic and shadow weren't around. and, well, he got a little worked up remembering that! he got mad! yeah--real mad!

so, tails did what all great minds do when they get mad, and he conducted some... let's say... unethical science experiments.

[taxinealkaloids]

the unwanted guest faux theatrical poster because i too wanted a chance to draw all the ianthes

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[vaguely-concerned]

In light of the info about the properties of souls in The Unwanted Guest, I want to shout out that Gideon — with no grounding in the theoretical underpinnings of the subject whatsoever — actually makes basically the same observation about the permeability of the soul at the end of Harrow the Ninth, when she's in Harrow's body and (with some justification) is pretty sure she's about to die in the River:

Harrowhark, did you know that if you die by drowning, apparently your whole life flashes in front of your eyes? I didn't know, as I died and took you along with me—having kept you alive for what, a whole two hours?—whether it was going to show me both. Like, at the end of everything, if it was going to be you and me, layered over each other as we always were. A final blurring of the edges between us, like water spilt over ink outlines. Melted steel. Mingled blood. Harrowhark-and-Gideon, Gideon-and-Harrowhark at last.

‘As we always were’! ‘Melted steel, mingled blood’! (Also interesting that despite saying earlier in the book that all she ever wanted was for Harrow to eat her (oh Gideon), the metaphors Gideon reaches for here are not about consumption ala what Ianthe’s deal and thus traditional lyctorhood is presented as in TUG, it’s about similar and equal substances joining together to a new whole, more like what we see with Paul. I personally feel like a Paul-style merging for Harrow and Gideon is not in the cards and would not be a satisfying ending — it worked as a bittersweet conclusion specifically for Pal and Cam because those two are utterly nuts in all their sanity lol, but I don’t think the series means to present it as The definitive answer to the central question of individuation vs. connection. There is something so moving to me, though, in the fact that right at the end this is what Gideon wants for her and Harrow. Not for Harrow to eat her, not simply to be of use to her, but to be made together from the same stuff. It’s a longing for connection and union that’s finally at least in imagery free from the imbalance within the ultimately hierarchical roles of necromancer and cavalier that Gideon internalizes through her corruption arc in Gideon the Ninth, understandably so as it’s the only model she’s presented with in their society to understand intimacy and attachment and devotion through. But Gideon says Harrowhark-and-Gideon, Gideon-and-Harrowhark at last, mutually and equally. And I’ve written about this before, but at what must be almost exactly the same time, the same process is happening in Harrow’s mind through the evolution in the symbolism of her dream bubbles. Help I am emotions now) 

Palamedes is so right, Gideon is a lot smarter than most people -- including Gideon herself -- ever give her credit for.

[fircyca]

[redrobin-detective]

This is an announcement and a promise: if you are a bad nurse, I am coming for you. If you are rude and judgemental to patients, deny them basic human decency you will face my wrath. If you take shit care of them, think you know better than not only the patients and your coworkers but the whole medical team then you cannot hide from me. I will find you and I will go toe to toe with you bc even the worst human alive deserves care and respect and I will beat that lesson into you and maybe make you grow a heart.

[gwyns]

can someone tell me i am inherently worth something just for being human. even if i don't contribute to society in the way that hussle bros think i should. please. even if you don't mean it. please

[brattylikestoeat]

Neither one of my parents said happy birthday or belated birthday.

They made the calls about them. Why hadn’t I called THEM.

[widowshill]

the people aren't ready to hear this but angelique arbitrarily picking quentin to decide to be in love with out of nowhere, bewitching roger into marriage and then absolutely not wanting him to touch her, and constantly pursuing men's (chiefly barn's) attention only when it's clear he doesn't want her, is soooo comp het of her.

[chi0lea]

I was breaking.

I am breaking.

I was down in a gutter of self hate, the stress was too much and every second my death did more then ponder my mind.

I looked to you, trying to seek refuge. You were to busy worrying about yourself.

I made this life for us, fought for us. I shook and cried on countless days for us. Yet the moment I needed you, well there was no us.

You only cared about yourself, my collapse wasn’t your problem. Amidst the chaos that was consuming every fiber of my soul. You weren’t there to calm it.

Well you were down and lost, I was there hands out for more then an embrace. Caressing you, loving you, and lifting you back up. Though it dragged me further down. Not wanting you to see my pain I took from it.

Now I am here, broken and spiritually alone.

Now the thoughts range more in my head, I could kill myself tonight and no one would know I was dead.

I am beyond breaking

I am shattered.

I am shards of glass scattered along the coast of the sands, unable to be seen.

[mechazushi]

So... about the Art Festival Short...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He's a Beautiful Butterfly!

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Alastor likes to romanticize what he did to Vox and Niffty. He has absolutely no problem admitting that, yes, it was torture, and one of the most horrific, violating forms of torture imaginable to boot, but he sees a certain beauty in it. He thinks about it in terms of “metamorphosis” and “creation.” He’s fine with describing it in terms of destruction too, but anyone can destroy a person; it takes a truly extraordinary level of skill to be able to create someone new, at least in his opinion.

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

🛌