#I’ve never felt more unwanted that I have now

[brattylikestoeat]

Neither one of my parents said happy birthday or belated birthday.

They made the calls about them. Why hadn’t I called THEM.

[1800-fight-me]

Safety in Your Arms

Logan Howlett x Female!Reader Rating: M (Mature but as always-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) Warnings: Cursing, threats of violence, stranger danger i.e. stalking but don't worry Logan saves the day Word count: A bit over 2k Synopsis: Logan protects you from the unwanted advances of another man and shows protectiveness and care you didn't know he had for you. Author’s note: I'm thinking this might need a part two, let me know what y'all think- I hope you enjoy! P.S. I do not have a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on! Comments and reblogs make my day! Logan Howlett Masterlist Main Masterlist

There was a cold panic that shot down your spine. Fight or flight, you’d learned the technical term, but now experienced it for yourself. 

The five minute walk between your work and your apartment had never felt so long. It all started with a creepy customer- which was a regular occurrence at your job- but this customer took it far beyond creepy. 

He tried to make too much small talk, stared too much, made a few too many over the line comments, and was entirely too pushy when asking for your phone number. Your one male coworker escorted him out and you thought that was the end of it. 

Hours went by, you assured your coworkers multiple times that you were fine and you were safe, and eventually you were the last one left to close and lock up. 

But only one block away from your workplace, you had the feeling of being watched- of being followed. And it was just your luck that your phone was dead and you’d forgotten your charger at home.

You changed your route, taking one that was a bit longer but also more well lit and populated. With a glance back you confirmed your worry, that it was in fact the same creepy guy from hours before. 

Your heart pounded with terror as you contemplated every option for safety. Your apartment building required a code to enter, so you sped your walk, hoping if you slipped into the building and shut the door behind you that it would be enough. 

“Hey,” the man’s voice called out, but you refused to look back. 

Your apartment building was within sight, but the man’s catcalls and jeers were also getting louder and closer. 

“Hey, c’mere pretty lady! I’ve got somethin’ for ya!” 

Your whole body shuddered in fear. Your next door neighbor stepped outside of the front door of the apartment building and you nearly sobbed in relief. 

“Logan!” you called out. 

He looked up in surprise, but his expression quickly turned to concern as he saw the stress in your entire demeanor. 

You practically ran to him and threw your arms around his torso in a hug he clearly did not expect. He hugged you back, but you felt him stiffen as he looked behind you. 

That was one thing about Logan, he was extremely perceptive and quick to notice any form of danger. 

“Hey bub, what can I do for you?” he said to the man behind you in a gruff tone that was not at all welcoming as he gently maneuvered you so that you stood safely behind him. 

You gripped Logan’s strong bicep as you peered around his shoulder at the stalker. 

“I was just-” 

“Just nothin’. You better leave her alone,” Logan interrupted. 

“C’mon, I was just inviting the pretty lady to have a good time. Does he speak for you?” the creep asked as he made eye contact with you. The malice in his eyes made your heartbeat spike again. 

“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” you said nervously. 

He glanced between you and Logan as if uncertain. 

“She just told you, she’s mine- so fuck off,” Logan growled. A different kind of shiver went down your spine. 

“You live here?” the man asked. 

“No,” Logan growled before you could even open your mouth. “But I do, and if I see you around here again it’ll be a problem.” 

The man looked at Logan and finally seemed to take in the gravity of the situation, the danger that the large muscled man protecting you could pose. 

He gulped and nodded, yielded a step back as Logan took a step forward- muscles tense and fist clenched. 

The man turned and scurried away. You took your first full deep breath in several long minutes. 

Logan watched the man until he was completely out of view before he turned to you. He placed a large comforting hand on your shoulder and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. 

“Princess,” he said in a gentle voice. 

He pulled you into a hug as a tear fell from your eye and made its way down your cheek. You were enveloped in his warmth and woodsy masculine scent and finally felt safe. 

“Thanks for pretending to be my boyfriend,” you said as you pulled back and wiped the tears from your eyes. 

“Anytime,” he said with a smirk. Your breath caught and you bit your lip as you looked up at him and saw such care and concern on his handsome face. 

“Who was that guy?” he asked. 

You shrugged, “Some crazy customer from earlier today, my coworker made him leave, but I guess he came back and waited until I was leaving alone….” 

Logan’s brow furrowed and he gritted his teeth. “That motherfucker,” he growled, “I’m walking you to and from work tomorrow.” 

“You don’t have to-” 

“No, I do. And I’ll do it until I’m sure he isn’t gonna bother you anymore. And if he shows up again…” he trailed off as his claws extended from his fist in an action that seemed involuntary due to his rage. 

A shiver ran down your spine. You had no idea Logan felt so protective over you. 

“Thank you,” you said in a soft voice, “I appreciate it.” 

This was not helping your ridiculous crush on your neighbor. From the minute he moved in with your friend Wade, you had heart eyes for him. 

The Wolverine, he took your breath away without even trying. With his large stature, huge muscles, and handsome face- you were a goner. It didn’t matter that he was older, way out of your league, and generally altogether grumpy. You were head over heels for him, and you were certain he had never noticed you before, that he merely thought you were Wade’s annoying friend. 

But you adored him, you adored the gentle heart you knew he buried under that gruff exterior, and displays of protectiveness such as this only proved what an amazing person you already knew he was. 

“I’m headed to meet Wade at the bar, d’you wanna come?” he offered. 

You nodded eagerly, not wanting to be alone after the stress of the day. 

“Lead the way,” you said with a smile. 

—--------

“Look who I brought,” Logan said as you walked behind him into the bar and approached a booth in the back corner. 

He stepped to the side so your friends could see you. Wade, Vanessa, and Dopinder sat at the table, already laughing and drinking beer. 

Wade gasped dramatically and exclaimed, “Princess Cupcake!” 

You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your lips betrayed you and showed your amusement. 

“Hey Wade,” you replied then greeted the others. 

“What? No comeback? I’m hurt! What’s wrong?” he asked, speaking in that way too fast pattern that was his norm. 

Logan placed a hand on your back and leaned down closer to your ear as he asked quietly, “You wanna sit down? I can get you a drink- what do you want?” 

You smiled and sat down as you were told and told him your drink order. 

Wade wiggled his non-existent eyebrows at you in a rather suggestive manner. 

“What’s up between you and peanut? Did you finally fu-” 

“No,” you interjected quickly. 

“Wade, she’s clearly upset and Logan is helping her,” Vanessa said as she elbowed her boyfriend. 

You sighed and explained the events of your afternoon. During your explanation Logan came back to the table with two drinks and sat next to you. His large form crowded you into the corner of the booth, but you didn’t mind. 

“That motherfucker,” Wade said in anger at the end of your story. Vanessa gave you a look of solidarity, you knew she had experienced plenty of creepy men in her life. 

“That’s what I said,” Logan replied, clearly somewhat amused. 

“We should kill him,” Dopinder said.

“Calm down wannabe-vigilante,” you muttered which caused everyone to chuckle. 

“Don’t worry cupcake, ole honey badger and I will make sure you’re safe,” Wade reassured. 

You nodded and said, “I appreciate it, but I don’t think he’ll return. Logan can be pretty intimidating, it was amazing - I’m sure he scared him off.”

Logan grunted in agreement, although when you looked at him you could’ve sworn there was a tint of pink on his cheeks and the tops of his ears. 

As the evening stretched on, you were thoroughly distracted from your troubles and amused by Wade’s antics and Dopinder’s stories. 

“So, Princess Cupcake, any luck on the dating front?” Wade asked. 

You tugged at the sleeves of your shirt- a nervous habit, and without looking up from the table said, “Nope.” 

Logan let out a soft sigh of what your aching heart could only hope was relief. 

“I’ve never asked, what’s with the nickname?” Dopinder asked. 

You shrugged and gestured to Wade. 

“When Blind Al and I moved into our apartment this sweetie pie here brought us cupcakes!” Wade explained. 

“Good thing it was cupcakes instead of a pie because being constantly called sweetie pie would make me want to die,” you muttered and everyone laughed. 

“What about the princess part though?” Dopinder asked. 

“Just look at her,” Logan mumbled and you and everyone at the table looked over at him in surprise. 

“She’s got that innocent sort of pretty you only see in big bright eyed animated Disney princesses,” Wade said. 

Embarrassed at the attention you changed the subject immediately. Your constant filthy thoughts about Logan proved you were anything but innocent. 

“But why is Logan’s nickname peanut?” you asked quickly. 

Wade shrugged, “Just fits.” 

Logan rolled his eyes. 

You smirked and said, “I bet we could come up with a hundred nicknames for him that would fit better.” 

“Like what?” Wade challenged. 

You glanced over at the large handsome man sitting next to you as your face warmed. 

Daddy was the first word that came to mind. Wade chuckled in a way that made you momentarily worried that mind reading was one of his mutant abilities. 

The silence at the table stretched on, becoming a tad awkward, before you said, “Nevermind I’m not very good with nicknames anyways.” 

“Yeah, it’s probably best to leave choosing nicknames to the professional,” Vanessa said in a joking tone to ease the tension. You shot her a look of gratitude and she winked at you before she effectively changed the subject all together. 

Eventually, after enough drinks and conversation, you declared that it was time for you to go home. 

“C’mon!” Wade protested. “The night has just begun!” 

“I wish I could stay but I’ve got work in the morning.” 

“I’ll walk you home,” Logan said in a soft but firm tone that left no room for argument as he stood and took a step back to give you room to get out of the booth. 

You nodded in agreement and smiled in pleasant surprise as he offered you his arm. You wrapped your arm around his large bicep and linked your elbows as you followed him out into the cold winter air. 

The city glowed in warm orange light that reflected on the wet pavement. Your breath was visible in frostbitten wind, and you shivered slightly which caused you to burrow further into your coat and move closer to Logan and the heat his body provided. 

He then pulled his arm from yours, causing you to momentarily panic, but just as swiftly he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

You smiled and filled the short walk with endless chatter, you used to worry that your yapping irritated him, but the small uptick of his lips- the ghost of a smile- showed fond amusement and filled you with warmth enough to make you forget about the cold. 

“What time do you leave for work in the morning?” Logan asked as you reached the door of your apartment- his apartment door only a few steps away. 

“Eight o’clock,” you replied as you unlocked the door.

“But really, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll see you then,” he interrupted in a tone that indicated you would not win this argument. 

Then he did something you didn’t expect at all, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your forehead. 

You grinned, your smile wider than probably ever before as you said, “Goodnight Logan, see you bright and bleary eyed tomorrow.” 

He chuckled as he bid you goodnight and you walked into your apartment and shut the door only after he smiled at you again before disappearing behind his own door. 

You shut your door and locked it before leaning against it. You muffled your squeal of excitement with your hand- all too aware how thin the walls are. The stressful events of the day completely forgotten. 

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

fem plus size bimbo ta!reader, wc: 639.

a/n: hi hi hi @deadbolted!! so i hope you don't mind but i changed the reader from being a student to being a teacher's assistant! this whole fic turned out to be very sweet and i appreciate your request! :]

You stare at the professor in amazement, your chin resting on your palms as you watch his lithe hands grade papers with a swiftness you could never obtain.

“I like that you know stuff.” You murmur mindlessly, your eyes tracing the path of the red ink until the paper was stained with a 98%. 

“Oh yeah?” Spencer asks with a tiny smile on his face, his focus still on the tests in front of him.

If he was going to be honest, you were supposed to be helping him grade said papers, seeing as though he had chosen you to be his teacher's assistant. It wasn't that you were dumb per se, just more… prone to distraction. He was pretty sure it was his fault if the heart eyes you were giving him was anything to go by.

Usually unwanted affection would make Spencer uncomfortable, but there was just something about you that piqued his interest. 

You didn't throw yourself at him or flirt shamelessly. Of course you fawned over him and he pretended he didn't hear the soft whisper of your voice squealing about how handsome he looked in his suit combo – which was something Spencer had been kind of unsure about when he had put it on in the morning. 

“Mm-hm.” You hummed. “I think it’s cool.” Spencer could almost laugh, but he didn’t, instead his bottom lips rolled between his teeth to hold back a large smile. “I teach seminars, I kind of have to know stuff.” 

“Whatever,” You respond with a shrug. “You still know more than me.”

That stopped Spencer’s scribbling, the man’s eyes now fully settling on you. The movement was unexpected and it caused you to flinch slightly, your gaze that was once fiercely set on him fluttered in a way that signaled you were flustered.

“I’m going to have to disagree.” His voice was almost a whisper and your faces were a lean away. “Really?” You asked brainlessly, your tone almost breathless sounding. “Really. I think you’re the smartest girl I’ve ever met.” Your cheeks heat and your eyes fall on his beard that is growing darker and thicker with each passing day. Then, they trail towards his lips.

“I- I don’t know.” Your tense shoulders loosen and you pull away. “Hey, no, don’t do that.” He chides softly. Spencer leans his head down in an attempt to search for your eyes. “I swear that I’m not lying. I’ve seen some of the work you’ve done for other classes, and you are brilliant.”

“You promise?” You ask meekly. “Yeah,” He nods. “I promise.”

There was a beat, then two, then three, before Spencer found himself leaning down and gently brushing his lips against yours. 

You freeze and for a moment he fears that he may have read the situation wrong, but then you press into him, your lips finally locking. It’s not hungry or urgent, just sweet and experimental, mouths moving unsurely to try to find a pace that’s right for the both of you.

Sure this was wrong, so very wrong, but if you ask Spencer there’s a lot of things wrong about his life, and for the first time since his imprisonment, this is the only thing that actually felt right.

Your hands shyly place themselves on his stubbled cheeks, his own hands reaching up to do the same. His thumbs paw at your cheeks when he tilts his head to side slightly, his tongue brushing your bottom lip asking you for entrance.

Your mouth opens up shyly and your tongues dance together languidly, and you pull away when a small moan bounces between you.

You both are breathing heavily – quietly – all the while still holding each other.

For the first time in a long time, Spencer doesn’t know what to do, but he knows he’ll figure it out.

[enwoso]

What about a part to of for the better please? With Lovies reaction to Less scoring against united (and when Leah was shoved into the dug out👀🤣) from todays game ❤️

THE GREATEST — alessia russo x child!reader

honestly never wrote a fic so quick but i loved this request thought it was so cute☺️

grumpy masterlist

it was that time of the season, again. arsenal come against manchester united on manchester soil. alessia wasn’t as bothered this time around, her departure from the reds was buried and wasn’t as fresh and raw as it had been this time last year.

still, it brought some unwanted feelings coming up against her old club especially one she started her professional career at.

you on the other hand, since learning it was time for team to make the long journey up north and back to leigh sport village you had a frown plastered across your face.

you used to love being and watching your mummy play at leigh sports village but now you liked your new home in north london. you didn’t dislike manchester by any means especially since you sometimes made the journey with your mummy to see your auntie ella which was one of the few good things about manchester.

“so what’s so awful about manchester, that’s got you frowning like that tiny?” emily asked with a playful smile as she was sat opposite you on the team bus having been playing card with your mummy while you sat watching a frown plastered across your lips getting deeper and deeper as the bus made its way up the road.

“manchester is mean.” you said bluntly as a small chuckle came from your mummy who was sitting beside you as she took a sip of her water.

“you liked it there, when we lived there?” your mummy pointed out as you only hummed crossing your arms across your chest — well tried to. alessia trying to also figure out what and why you were in such a strop about going up to manchester for.

“you used to tell me all about your life in manchester on facetime, and how much you loved it” emily said as she recounted some of the memories of when her and less would facetime and you would babble about your days in manchester long before the american moved to north london.

“yep but that not home anymore, manchester is mean” you mumbled sliding down the chair as you huffed, a small look of realisation flashing across alessia’s face as to why you were in such a strop.

“oh lovie the fans have gotten over that now” alessia assured you as she side hugged you, you sighed not knowing whether to believe what your mummy was telling you or not.

“still” you grumbled as alessia shook her head playfully as emily grinned at your innocence as you went back to watched your show now that you were cuddled into the side of your mummy.

“she’s so dramatic-“

-

finally, the game had rolled around after it feeling like you’d been in manchester for days not when really it had been less than twenty four hours. walking by your mummy’s side as she wheeled her small suitcase in, a backpack most likely filled with more of your things in than your mums which hung from her shoulder.

people stood at the entrance, shouting and screaming the players which walked past as some shouted your name as you walked past with your mum, you giving the odd shy wave before walking into the stadium.

“lovie- where are you- oh” alessia called out as she felt you let go of her hand, your small steps could be heard as you rushed over and jumped into the arms of a very familiar face, one you’d just said goodbye to a couple a days ago from england camp.

“tooney!” you cheered as she spun you around a big grin on the united players’ face. “i’ve missed you, tiny” ella smiled as she stopped still, players walking past saying a small hi either to you or tooney.

you furrowed your brow, “i seen you two days ago though?” you said as a small giggled left ella’s lips as she realised you hadn’t understood what she meant.

“am i not allowed to miss my favourite russo!” ella quipped back as she tickled under your chin making you squirm in her arms as alessia caught up with you, stopping mere metres away from ella as she side hugged the manchester united player.

“i missed you too auntie ella” you admitted lowly, as you hugged her tight. ella rubbing your back as a soft smile came across alessia’s face. yours and ella’s bond being one of the best kind, so cute and pure and alessia loved it.

“and anyways missus i thought you said you would wear your united shirt for me today!” ella gasped as she replayed the conversation the two got of you had on england camp, you telling ella the next game you watched her play in you would wear your old united shirt — which would definitely and most likely be too small for you.

you shook your head with a firm hum, “north london forever!” you grinned tapping the badge which was displayed on your chest. it drawing a few chuckles from both alessia and ella.

“you’ve changed your tune!” ella joked but she knew since the move how much you’d fell in love with arsenal and north london. but manchester would always be somewhere in your heart.

“well i suppose it’s better than being a blue” ella shrugged as she laughed at her own little joke before saying her goodbyes, kissing your forehead and letting you back down on the ground. yours waving goodbye to ella as she promised she’d find you after the game.

you holding back onto your mummy’s hand as she led you into the away changing room. in your mind this was the worst part of game day, the waiting around for the game to actually start as you always wondered why they needed two whole hours to get ready.

but nevertheless you waited making your own entertainment along the way, walking with steph and kyra as they went out onto the pitch. your mummy opting on going to get treatment just before the warm ups.

joking on a little as you ran up and down the touchline as they warmed up before having a very serious conversation with fred the red as he danced around and waved at the fans in the stands. the mascot you used to love.

but then it was time for the team to go back into the changing room as you scared beth as she came rushing off the pitch, small giggles coming from you as she chased you back inside.

as you sat back down on the bench, coming down from your high energy state. catching your breath from all the running around you’d done, you’d think you had just ran around for ninety minutes.

your mummy was fixing up her hair as you watched fondly, “mummy?”

“yes baby” your mummy cooed as she tied the bobble into her hair before kneeling down so she could hear you among the loud chatter and the music which was booming through the speakers.

“what happen if you score today?” you asked as it had been on your mind the past day or two, you wondering if the goal would count towards united or arsenal. your brain getting a little confused.

alessia’s brow furrowed, not quite getting what you meant, “what do you mean by that lovie?”

“well cause you played for united will it be their goal” you asked your tone laced with confusion as alessia’s brow softened as she realised what you now meant.

your mummy firmly shaking her head as her hands rested on your knees as you sat on the bench, “no lovie, it’ll be an arsenal goal cause that’s who i play for now” your mummy explained as she pointed to the jersey you were wearing as you nodded along as your mummy continued her explanation using her when she scored for england as an example.

you hummed in realisation as you brain now made sense of your doubts, “will you score today?” you asked as alessia laughed a little shrugging her shoulders — she wishes she could see the future.

“i’ll try score just for you, prove the booing wrong ay?” your mummy grinned as she tapped your knees feeling you tense up at the mention of the booing knowing italy you experience some pretty big feelings the last time. but your mummy was quick to reassure you before placing a soft kiss on the top of your head as she stood back up.

the exciting part of the day had finally arrived where you could watch the match, one you’d been excited for the build up but not the actually match itself. this time though you found yourself sat with kyra instead of leah, that and the fact leah was back on the pitch playing again.

sat in the dugout, a blanket over your legs which kyra had given you as your arsenal jersey was now covered with a hoodie your mummy had insisted on you wearing much to your complaints that you didn’t need it.

but as always your mummy won the argument as the moment you came from the warmth of the changing room you were complaining that you were cold, so your mummy quickly got your hoodie placing over your head and sliding it down so it sat perfectly in you.

so instead you had to settle for the arsenal scarf around your neck all with white and red letters of arsenal plastered across it as you way of showing your support for the team.

the first half you can’t lie was a little boring, no goals being scored but your mummy did come close a few times. after he first attempt in the 12’ minute you tapped kyra on the shoulder, the australian peeling her eyes away from the pitch to listen to you.

“my mummy said she was gonna score to today!” you proudly smiled as kyra nodded along agreeing, “well it is looking likely tiny!”

but it was very likely to happen in the first half as it ended still with neither team scoring so when the team finally came out for the second half, you were a little more eager to watch. hoping the goal from your mummy was coming.

so in the 63’ minute when mariona played the lovely pass to emily who crossed it to alessia, you were on your feet in seconds when you seen the net bulge. your mummy didn’t celebrate with her aeroplane arms like she usually did instead a small yes slipped from her lips as she pointed over to the dugout, mainly to you before all the girls engulfed her in a group hug and head taps.

that was your mummy’s last action of the day as she was subbed off shortly after, kyra having been subbed on in place with the other girls who came off.

alessia getting her jacket and wrapping it around her arms to shield herself from the manchester coldness as she made a beeline to sit next to you in the dugout. you launching yourself to her the moment she was close.

your mummy wrapping you in a hug as you explained your view of the goal and your excitement fueling through your small limbs as your arms flung around explains it.

“t’was all for you, lovie” your mummy whispered against your hair as she placed a gentle kiss on-top of your head you hugged your mum tightly as your eyes wondered back to the pitch.

the game unfortunately after alessia’s goal wasn’t over, far from it actually, manchester united threw on some subs and were looking likely to score.

alessia glanced up to the clock as you sat on her lap, watching intently. your fingers in your mouth something you did when you were concentrating on something.

rachel williams had made a breakthrough as leah ran to catch her except, leah got a shove in the shoulder knocking her to the ground and quite literally off the pitch as she rolled and hit the dugout.

you not seeing the initial shove as you were too busy looking at the fans who were shouting and yelling their chants you trying to decipher the words. so when you seen leah on the ground, lying on her back you let out a loud laugh.

“le!” you called out as leah stood to her feet waving at you as she mouthed to alessia that she was okay, “your supposed to be playing football not having a nap!” you yelled after as leah was looking over her shoulder walking gingerly back to the sideline as the medical team crowded around her.

a small gasp coming from your mummy as she bumped your shoulder giving you a stern look for your cheekiness as leah just laughs at your cheeky comment running back onto the pitch.

the match ended not in the way you wanted which kind of damped the mood but nevertheless, you were able to run about a little as your mummy was off signing things.

“le!” you called out as you ran after leah as she was walking away from some fans, your mummy watching you intently as she spoke to some fans, busy signing shirts, books and phone cases.

“you okay, tiny?” leah smiled as you ran into her arms, leah throwing you up in the air and catching you making you squeal as she did, falling back into her arms giggling.

“are you okay after your fall?” you asked, your mummy after you cheeky comment filled you in on the fact leah hadn’t gone for a nap mid game like you thought but instead had been nudged over, you feeling slightly bad about your comment.

“course i am, just a little graze!” leah waved it off as you let out a sigh of relief, “next time i’ll just have to stay on my two feet” leah joked as you nodded.

“cause you spend too much time with mummy as she really clumsy!” you so innocently said as a laugh rippled through leah, you not being in the slightest bit wrong. as alessia could trip over thin air and still land on the floor.

“is that so?” leah questioned as you nodded proudly, totally forgetting that you yourself was also born with two left feet as like your mum you also found your self tripping over thin air.

leah just laughed at your response as she watched ella walk over to the two of you.

“leah do you think i can convince less to let tiny stay with me, we have a movie night in the books which is planned for tonight sharpish!” ella smiled as you nodded along, this being something you had planned during england camp but had yet been able to convince your mummy of — as a result of alessia not being any of the wiser of said movie night.

“um i dunno know you’ll have the ask the boss lady herself” leah shrugged as you wriggled out of her hold, tugging on ella’s hand as she tried to pull you in the opposite direction of your mummy.

“c’mon tooney, my mummy’s this way!”

[shockercoco]

An Honorary Member

Benny Cross x reader

Warnings - fluff, unwanted advances (like one), some swear words

Word count - 2768

a/n -  request: "please please PLEASE do something ANYTHING for benny cross x reader but reader is a sweetheart and is kinda just a goody two shoes..." read the rest of the request here. It's funny how many of your guys wanted this, and of course I had to deliver. I really enjoyed writing this and hopefully this meets your expectations. enjoy :)

“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m coming?” you ask Kathy as she finds a spot on the crowded grass to park.

You look down at your baby pink top, jeans, and white shoes, beginning to second guess your outfit choice. Despite your outfit being basic, you still felt odd amongst all the leather and dark colors. Even Kathy wasn’t wearing anything bright.

“Of course it is. These people don’t care,” Kathy tells as she puts the car in park. “Plus, if it was a problem, Benny wouldn’t have asked you to come.”

Benny loved your outfits. He thought it made you stand out next to him, and he loved that.

“You and I both know he would’ve still invited me if it even if it was a problem,” you point out, causing her to laugh in response.

“Besides you haven’t been around the girls in a while and they're looking forward to seeing you again,” Kathy says.

All the commotion outside could still be heard loud and clear even through the closed windows. You knew about the people Kathy and Benny hung out with and their well known reputation – she was technically the one who introduced you to Benny.

It also wasn’t uncommon for you to see members of the club riding through the streets whenever you were out in public running errands, but you’ve never actually met them. Dating Benny and being friends with some of the guys’ girlfriends was the closest you have gotten to this world. Benny thought it was finally time you meet the club and he thought this outing was the perfect opportunity.

Kathy could see the look of uncertainty on your face as you looked down. “You look fine, don’t worry about it too much. These guys practically wear the same thing all the time, so who are they to judge? Now get the hell out of my car.”

Making sure to grab your homemade cookies from the backseat, you both start heading towards the group. It was your idea to bring the cookies, thinking that it would make it easier for the guys to like you if you brought something to offer. You kind of went overboard and made way too many, though.

As the two of you walk to the table where the girls are, you spot Benny at another table having a smoke and talking to some of the other members.

“You actually came,” one of the girls, whose name you unfortunately forgot, smiled. She jumps up to give you a hug, before taking the cookie-filled container out of your hands, “And you brought goodies.” 

“You would go straight for the food,” Kathy jokes as the girl sits down, allowing others to reach their hand into the container.

The girl shrugs. “Her cookies are the best.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you,” Gail, whose name you do remember, tells you. You go to sit down next to her, while Kathy sits across from you. “You should come riding with us one time.”

“You ride?” you ask her, your eyebrows raised.

“Well, no not me, but my boyfriend does,” Gail says.

You turn your head as she nods in what you're assuming is her boyfriend’s general direction, but all you notice is Benny walking towards the table.

Benny had noticed your arrival, but Johnny kept running his mouth and he couldn’t find the right time to get away. He eventually just decided to get up and leave because there was no telling if the conversation would ever end, and as of now you were more important to him.

When Benny had first met you it was outside of a bar that basically belonged to the Vandals. You were only there to drop off some money for Kathy for whatever reason because she couldn’t seem to get away.

You were hesitant at first because one: it was the middle of the night, and two: you would be going to a place where all the bikeriders hung out. A bar and a bunch of crazy men didn’t seem like the best combination and you didn’t even understand why Kathy would always go to such a place, but nevertheless she was your best friend, so you felt obligated to go.

You had barely entered the bar when Kathy had come running up to you and thanking you. You were about to tell her it was no problem – even though it most definitely was – but you got distracted by this man coming up behind her.

The tattoos and the unlit cigarette hanging from his lips should’ve been a turn off for you, but you couldn’t help but feel attracted to him. The hair, the way he walked, and the look in his eye just screamed confidence, and you found yourself not being able to look away from him. He gave you a smirk when his eyes found yours, and you immediately looked away as you felt embarrassment flow through your body. 

Yeah, you definitely had to leave.

“Did you want to stay for a drink?” Kathy asked you, breaking you from your thoughts.

“What? Oh, no I should get going. It’s late an–”

“Who’s this?” the man asks Kathy as he approaches the two of you, interrupting your sentence. He removes the cigarette from his mouth and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“This is my best friend,” Kathy looks up at him, “and she’s off limits.”

The guy laughs at her statement. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” he asks her, but he’s looking at you. 

Kathy sighs as she rolls her eyes. “This is Benny,” she tells you before looking back at him, “but it doesn’t really matter because you’re leaving, aren’t you Benny.”

Well if Kathy doesn’t seem to like him, then neither should you. Right?

“Loosen up, Kathy.”

Kathy’s about to say something else, but someone calls her name. She looks behind her before looking back at you Benny. She hesitates for a second before sending Benny a glare and walking away.

“Isn’t it a little late for you to be out by yourself?” Benny asks, looking down at you and giving you this look. A look that gives you butterflies and makes you want to smile, but you resist. His gaze is intense.

“Yes, which is why I’m going home,” you tell him.

“Do you need a ride, I’m on my way out,” he raises an eyebrow. 

“No thanks, I drove here,” you answer.

“Hmm. Well I guess I’ll see you around then,” he smiles. He’s not asking, but telling you.

“I guess so,” you say. 

You don’t know if you’re waiting for him to leave or if he’s waiting on you to make a move first, but you both just stand there for a moment. You don’t know if it’s an awkward or comfortable silence between the two of you, but you can’t handle his eyes on you anymore.

Benny watches you give him a small smile before turning around and exiting the bar. He smiles to himself as he follows you out the door, taking his cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. He watches as you get into the car you parked on the side of the street and drive off, still looking down the street, even when you’re no longer in eyesight.

You were different from him, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or bad thing, but he had to find out. You seemed so gentle and shy, unlike all the other girls that hang around at the bar. Benny felt drawn to you, even though the two of you had only talked for a couple of minutes. The fact that Kathy didn’t want him around  you only egged him on more.

He had to have you.

As you’re having a cup of coffee the next morning, you decide to look out one of your living room windows – something you always do. This time when you move the curtain aside, you almost drop the cup in your hand when you see Benny across the street. He’s leaning against his bike having a cigarette, and you’re wondering how the hell he found you.

And how long has he been out there?

You set your cup down on your living room table before opening the front door. Benny notices the door open and just smirks when he sees you walking down your front steps. He gets up from his position on the bike and walks towards you, flicking his cigarette on the ground.

“What are you doing here?” you ask him once you reach the bottom of your steps, and Benny is standing on the sidewalk. You wrap your sweater tighter around your body as the morning breeze blows past you.

You give him a once-over now that he’s standing in front of you and man does he look good. Why does he look so good? 

“Kathy gave me your address,” he tells you casually.

Your eyes nearly pop out of their head because that is so unlike her. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he nods with amusement, “but don’t be mad at her, I kind of forced it out of her.”

“And you’re here because…?”

“Because I wanted to see you again. I’ve been thinking about you all night,” he tells you. Your heart drops and have to keep your jaw from hanging open because there’s no way.

You wait a second before asking, “How many girls have you said that too?” 

“One,” he smiles at you as he slowly walks towards you. “You.”

That was five weeks ago. You shouldn’t have fallen for that cheesy line, but you did, which is how you now find yourself at this picnic.

“Glad my girl came,” he whispers in your ear as he takes a seat next to you. He smirks as he notices goosebumps popping up along your arm.

“You two make me sick,” Kathy says, but there’s no animosity in her voice. She can’t help but smile as she looks between you and Benny because she’s never seen him like this. Before you, she’s never seen him so…in love. It’s obvious that you have him wrapped around your finger.

Some of the other girls around the table have smiles across their faces too as they witness the interaction too because they can also see the difference in Benny.

“Come on, I want you to meet some of the guys,” he tells you and you nod. He grabs your hand in his as he walks you towards the group of guys he had been talking to when you arrived, feeling kind of nervous as you see all of their eyes on you.

As you approach, one of the older men looks down at your hand connected with his and a grin slowly grows on his lips. He’s sitting at the table while the rest of them either stand around it, or sit on the table top.

“So this is your girl huh, the one you’ve been hiding from us?” the same guy asks.

Benny rolls his eyes. “This is Johnny, he’s in charge of the club.”

“Damn right I am, but that’s not important. It’s nice to finally meet you, sweetheart,” Johnny says as he leans forward and holds his hand out for you to shake. You give him a small smile as you accept his hand.

“We’re here too,” another guy says.

“That’s Cockroach,” Johnny tells you before introducing the rest of them, and pointing out some of the others that are walking around. “And this is Danny, he’s not like everyone else. He’s writing some kind of story or somethin’.”

You turn around to see a guy with a camera hanging around his neck approaching the group, a half eaten cookie in his hand. “Someone made cookies, you guys gotta try them.”

“And you didn’t bring us any? Not cool man,” Cal says.

“Didn’t you make those?” Benny looks down at you, nodding his head towards Danny’s hand.

“Um, yeah.”

“You bake?” Cockroach asks, and you nod.

“Well hand them over so we can try it before they’re all gone,” Johnny says, and you give him a nod before heading back towards the table where the cookies are.

As you’re walking, some drunk guy stumbles his way in front of you, almost bumping into you. Thinking nothing of it since a lot of the men around are wasted, you ignore him and try to go around him. The man doesn’t let you move far though as he grabs your arm and gives you a sly smile. Your face contorts in disgust and you try to jerk your arm away, but his grip is too tight.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, little lady. What’s your name?” he slurs, the smell of alcohol filling your nostrils.

“None of your business,” you tell him. You try to pull your arm away again, but the man’s grip only gets tighter. Your heartbeat picks up as you begin to panic, but there’s too many people around so nothing can happen. Right?

“I like your shirt,” he gives the bottom of your shirt a little tug.

“Stop,” you smack his hand away.

“Come on, don’t be like that, gorgeous. I’m just trying to be nice, the least you could do is tell me your name,” the man steps closer, getting into your face.

“Let me go,” you say sternly, once again trying to move.

“I think you need to be taught some manners,” the man glares at you.

From behind you, Benny sees the altercation going down and begins to come to your aid, but you do something that makes him stop in his tracks.

You smack the man hard, making his head turn to the side. His hand immediately lets go of you to reach up and touch his cheek, the handprint already starting to show.

A few people around who witnessed the scene gasp and laugh. A few whistles and hollers join in.

“You bitch,” he says, his nostrils flaring.

“I guess we both need to be taught some manners,” you spit, no longer feeling shy since there are too many eyes on him.

Apparently, the man notices the stares too because he backs off, but not without giving you one last look.

“Well damn,” Cockroach says amongst the group.

“Got yourself a good one, Benny,” Johnny chuckles, his head falling back. That makes Benny’s heart swell with pride.

“Remind me not to piss her off,” Cal says, his eyes wide.

Kathy comes up to check on you, but you tell her you’re okay. When you come back to the group with the container in your hand, everyone’s looking at you with grins covering their face. Benny shoots you a wink, making your face heat up.

“These aren’t bad at all, you gotta bring these to all the meetings,” Johnny says after taking a bite of his cookie, the guys nodding in agreement.

Now, you don’t know what you were thinking, but the idea of attending meetings hadn’t crossed your mind at all.

You should’ve known because a couple of days later when the club meets at the bar again, you’re right there with them, a few containers of baked goods in your hand. The men don’t waste their time rushing towards you when you first step foot in the bar, making Benny shove his way through the crowd to make sure you don’t get crushed. Surprisingly, though, you don’t mind at all.

“You better wait your turn,” one guy tells another who’s trying to cut in front of him.

“Fuck off,” the man answers and shoves the guy aside.

Benny grabs them both by the neck of their jackets and pulls them back.

“Gentlemen, please, let’s not act like animals,” Johnny calls out.

Word gets out about how good your baking is – and your altercation with that drunk man – causing the bikers to have respect for you. Whenever you need something and Benny’s not around, there’s always someone that volunteers.

If you need a ride to work because your car broke down and Benny’s not able to pick you up, Johnny’s waiting right outside your door. If for some reason, someone dares to shoot their shot at you, it doesn’t take long for the person to get thrown out of the bar. And when you get cold, several of the bikers offer their jackets to you, only for Benny to quickly throw his jacket over your shoulders.

Yeah, you could get used to this.

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[the-monstermash]

UNBROKEN BETROTHALS pt. 2

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Synopsis: After running away from an unwanted proposal, you find yourself working in a brothel as a cook. When a certain guest takes an odd liking to you, secrets are revealed and betrothals unbroken

Warnings: Angst, Brothels, Mature, 18+, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language

Word Count: 3,754

A/N: I’ve been contemplating cutting this into two parts all day, but fuck it we die like men

The next moons were spent silently. Perhaps the entire situation had blown over, with Aemond taking the refusal as it was, and moving on to the next, or perhaps staying with Sylvi. Maybe that was for the best, as it would keep all the other girls housed.

The brothel had been closed for the day, the recent event had been enough for many businesses to close their doors. A war had been declared with the murder or Jehaerys, and with the dragons looming in the sky, it promised to be bloody. Of course, special allowances were made for soldiers and high-born, a back alley entrance just as suiting as a grand one when desperation calls.

Today was particularly slow, many lords stuck in meetings and soldiers in training yards. The girls took to mostly laying around, sipping wine and eating cheeses while they joked and told old stories.

"Where would you be, if not here in this brothel? If you'd taken a different path, made a different decision, what would you be doing right now?" Someone had asked, and after a contemplative silence, finally people began to speak up.

"In another brothel, perhaps." Earned many laughs.

"I'd be married to some disgusting old man, I'm sure of it. Fucked full of halfwit babes and barely surviving." You'd spoken up. "I heard my parent arguing in the night about a proposal they'd received from King's Landing. I knew it must've been some old Lord, looking to perverse himself on a young girl. That was the night I'd left."

"You ran to King's Landing to escape a life in King's Landing?" Maria questioned flatly.

"It was the last place I thought they'd look. And if they did look, they'd never find me, hidden in a whore house." The girls laughed and shared their own answers before moving on to a new topic.

The conversation was cut briefly to a halt when the door was heard slamming shut. All heads turned in time to see the curtain move and reveal none other than Prince Aemond himself. His eye scanned the room silently, lingering a moment more when he found me. I turned away and sighed, looking to the ground. Another girl jumped up and quickly ran to fetch Sylvi.

"Your highness, we did not expect your patronage this evening." Lauryn spoke up, laid on her side on one of the sofas we all surrounded. Mischief twinkled in her eyes as she met your gaze for a second before looking back to him. "Have you come for Sylvi? Or have you come for something...fresh." The other girls giggled. "New, perhaps? I would be more than happy to make a suggestion."

"Girls, do not tease our prince. It's very rude." A girl sighed and shook her head. "Will you please show Prince Aemond to Sylvi's rooms?"

The room fell silent as everyone looked to me. To refuse in front of him could be seen as disrespectful, and in a time of such uncertainty with the royal family, it would not do to test his standing. Especially with the almost forgotten history between you, that you would much rather pretend doesn't exist. If you were the one to guide him to Sylvi's room, however, it would not bode well with her.

"I think Lina had gone to fetch her, she should be here any moment." Maria spoke up, sensing your discomfort.

"I require her now, I do not have much time." Aemond finally spoke, hands clipped behind his back, and eyes unwavering. "Take me to her."

You sighed and moved to stand, dusting your hands off on your thighs and giving the girls a lasting glare that had them avoiding eye contact.

"Your highness." You mumbled as you passed him and headed towards the hallway. You did not hear him follow you, but you felt his presence, and gaze, burning into your back. You were quick to make your way to Sylvi's room, knocking and announcing your visitor.

"Surely she is here, I do not remember her mentioning any errands." You turned at her knob, to find it locked, a sure sign that she was out at the moment.

You were alone with him much to your chagrin, and his pleasure, you were sure. It had almost seemed like a setup, if not for the impossibility that Sylvi would ever agree to it. You had to admit, it was all rather flattering, the feeling of his eyes trailing your body in desire, but you could not entertain him.

"She is not in, your grace. I can leave a message for you, or I can see to her whereabouts, if the matter is urgent." You turned around to him, but did not look him in the eye, not wanting him to see anything more in your gaze than there was.

He was silent, looking at the door as if expecting Sylvi to manifest at any moment. Your eyes began darting about the hallway, looking for an out so you could get away from him and go about your business, particularly somewhere with witnesses.

"Your highness." You murmured the words to remind him of where you were, standing in a hallway in complete silence with no task at hand, and no end in sight. He still did not respond, only not he stared at your face, his eyes soft, but unnerving all the same.

"If you'll excuse me." you moved to pass him, but he grabbed your arm and placed himself in front of the exit, blocking you from leaving. 

The action stirred something in you, though you weren't sure if it was fear or desire. Aemond was handsome, you had to admit, but knowing who he was and what desiring him would mean for you was enough to swallow and pull away from him.

"I require refreshment."

"I'll have wine brought to you, would you like a room?"

"I'll take it in the kitchen, thank you."

A chill ran down your back at the thought of him, gracing your kitchen once again with his daunting presence, looming over your home and your peace. You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, moving to pass him again, this time he allowed and followed you. When we passed the girls again, Maria watched with a hawk's eye, and sensing the tension, rose to follow us to the kitchen, the savior she is. You fetched the wine for him, and some bread and cheeses, dressing a small tray for him to enjoy and setting it at the table. 

He drank and pecked at the food, slowly savoring each bite, his eyes flickering to Maria every now and then, before returning in your direction. You could tell her presence bothered him, even if he did not say it. He could've ordered her out of the room, if he'd wished to. In truth, he could've ordered you to sleep with him if he'd wished to, but he didn't. Instead, he ate, and looked at the two of you, one with longing, and the other distaste.

"I was sad to hear about your nephew, Prince Aemond." Maria addressed him politely, likely attempting to lighten the tension in the room. She did not take on her same even, monotonous tone that she used with the girls. Instead, she purposefully lightened her voice and spoke with grace and propriety.

"Yes, as was I."

"They were there looking for me. I feel an immense guilt for it, knowing if they'd found me first, he would still be here."

The admission was surprising to the both of you. How did one respond to such a personal statement. Maria was better versed with loss, having mourned her mother and been separated from her siblings when her father sold her to Sylvi. But still, she did not respond, only looking at him with a pitying look before chewing her cheek and looking away. He looked sad, and that look did not suit him. You wanted to comfort him, to reach out and pet his snowy hair, but instead you refrained.

"I attended his funeral march. He was a beautiful boy, and he looked very sweet."

He reached out to grab my hand, and pressed a light kiss on the back of it, rendering me speechless.

"What will we have for dinner tonight?" Maria broke the silence, addressing only you.

"Likely bread and broth, we are low on meat with the war. I'm sure Sylvi will want to save it for working nights." You took your hand lightly from the prince to turn more fully towards Maria.

"Are you not well rationed for the war?" Aemond spoke up, if you could call it that. His voice was low, as seemed to be the standard for him.

"With the soldiers coming in, all the meat is sent to the castle, and what little we get is three times what it's worth. Those who can afford it are hoarding it away."

"I can have pigs sent from the castle."  He spoke with finality, as if there was no discussion about it.

"I'm sure Sylvi is managing it. She likely is out now, fetching more food for us." Maria answered for me, but he waited for me to answer, acting as if he hadn't heard Maria speak. "Times are hard us smallfolk."

"We are well, my prince. Sylvi takes care of us." You agreed, and turned away from him, busying yourself with small meaningless tasks that were obviously a ruse to get out of the conversation with him. He moved to speak, but was interrupted by one of the girls bursting into the kitchen

"Sylvi has returned, your highness. You wished to see her?"

"I'll find her myself, thank you." He stood to leave, and left us in silence.

Aemond did return on the morrow, with men in tow with meat and fresh ingredients. They loaded up the kitchen to your specifications, Aemond overseeing the entire thing, standing as close as you would allow and stealing glances to watch for your reaction.

"We've not had food so fresh for many moons, my prince, I cannot thank you enough." You curtseyed to him, imagining all the possible meals for the girls. A few girls lingered in the kitchen as well, clearly pleased with the food, but especially with the men who delivered it, who they ogled and catcalled openly. The men were obviously intrigued by the girls, many not having the chance to visit in a while. The tensions were clearly rising in the small kitchen, and it was quickly overwhelming your space.

"Please, put the flour bags on the floor, so I can scoop it out without lifting." You attempted to break the heat in the room, Aemond's eye shooting to you at the sound of your voice.

Aemond seemed to sense your anxiety, because he spoke up and dismissed the men, with confirmation that you could manage the rest. The men quickly left, and the girls followed in pursuit. 

"I truly cannot express my gratitude." You turned away from him to begin putting away the last few boxes of food.

"If the whores are well fed, they work better for the men. It keeps morale high." He explained, stepping with you around the kitchen. "And it made you happy, so I am happy to do it."

That rendered you silent, and you resigned to swallow and nod.

"I'm sure you know by now that I spoke to Sylvi about you." You winced at the prospect of the turn this would take, now that you were all alone with him and no Maria to mediate. "She said you do not..." He let the sentence die. "Are you a maiden?"

You shot around to look at him, surprised by his boldness. He was a prince, however, and the blood of the dragon. Boldness was his very being, so it should only have surprised you that it took so long for him to make his intentions more public. Turning back to the food, you gave a timid nod, knowing that he would not let the question go unanswered.

"And you are resigned to cook for the rest of your life? For whores?" You scoffed, turning back to your tasks and refusing to meet his eyes again.

"These girls are my family. Sylvi..." Your heart stuttered just at her name. The though of her knowing you were there, alone with the man who'd announced his desire to her so plainly. "Sylvi gave me a home when I needed one, she took me in when I was lost in a foreign place. I owe her my life, and she only asks that I earn my own way. I am lucky that I can provide food, and not what so many have to sacrifice."

"My family have forsaken me in many ways as well."

"Your family put you in a castle, on a dragon, feared by any man you come across. It is not the same, my prince." He was silent at that. "And my family did not forsake me, I left them."

"Why would you do that? Did they mistreat you?"

"Not particularly, no. I just didn't find happiness in the Riverlands, and I didn't want to spend my life there."

"You're from the Riverlands." He nodded, as if committing the information to memory. "Sylvi doesn't have to know." His unrelenting bargaining was quickly running sour with you.

"So that's what this is about? You've brought food to win my favor?" You turned around to find him much closer than you had anticipated, looming over you and trapping you against the table. You pressed your hands to the edge to brace yourself, and his eyes flickered to the motion before looking into your eyes.

"I do not like the thought of you unsatisfied. Hungry with no way to satiate your needs." The double meaning was not lost on you, and the words admittedly did something to your body that you did *not* expect.

"I have always managed."

"I can give you more. And I'll ask you for so little." He ducked his head down towards your face now, his voice lowering into a husky drawl that made your mouth fall open.

The desire was there, you could not deny. But there was too much hanging in the balance, too much at stake. Your home, your pride, the only semblance of family you'd ever had. And this was one of the few things you had left that was truly yours. You had your maidenhood, and you had control over who would have it. What good could it possible do to throw it all away just to fill the whims of some spoiled prince? No matter how handsome that prince may be.

"You ask for everything." You closed your eyes and turned your face away from him, unable to breath in his scent any longer. "And I cannot give you what you want at the risk of all I have-" His lips were on yours before you could turn away from him, and his hands were on your hips, pulling you to him.

You tried your best to pull away, whimpering into his mouth and pushing against him. Your hands found his chest and you pushed your upper body away, which only served to push your hips further into his, against the hardness he now sported and gladly rubbed against you. When he seemed satisfied with your kiss, he pulled away, moving to kiss at your jaw and neck.

"Stop." You were breathless and still pulling from him, but he was not hearing. "My prince, someone could hear!" He finally relented, ceasing his kisses but still holding you to him.

"I'm not here as your prince. Call me Aemond."

"I cannot, your highness. You must leave now, please." Your pleas went ignored. "You will ruin everything!"

"I will give you anything. Name it and it's yours, I swear." You sighed, shaking your head.

"I don't understand why you can't choose another. There are women here in excess. Exotic, talented beauties that will do anything you ask for."

"Have you not been listening to me? I am not some cunt-drunken fool, I want you." His declaration struck you dumb, and you jerked back at his admission.

This was somehow worse than if it'd just been some lust-driven obsession, the thought of him imagining a life with you or all people. You, the lover of a prince. Would you move to the castle? Become a mistress? A wife? Impossible, the crown would never allow it. Sylvi would have your head for it. If the thought of you fucking him had her so bristled, the thought of him loving you would raise her hackles. It was what finally gave you the strength to squeeze past him, still awestruck by what he'd just said, and in desperate need of distance.

"And what would that be like? I'd be a mistress to you? Would we have little half blood babies, with half a claim to the iron throne, and I spend my life worrying for their safety?"

"I would bring you to the Keep, and plead my case to my brother. I am his blood, he would not deny me a wife of my choosing." You scoff in disbelief and put your hand over your chest, sitting against the table again for support.

"You've lost your mind." You shook your head.

"Let me ask my brother. If he says yes, will you come with me?" His voice was desperate and low. A certain vulnerability hid in his eye, and he pressed himself to you once more, though this time in search of comfort instead of relief.

In truth, it would be a better life then you could ever have here. You would dine on food you did not prepare, and drink wine from foreign countries and wear dresses of the finest material, instead of the itchy rags you tolerated now. And more importantly, Aemond seamed sure in his love for you. It was quick, to be sure, and without much to sustain, but you could always relish in the idea of a man's devotions. Especially someone as powerful as Aemond. Not all marriages were born of love. Most were convenient, and you could always grow to love, if you both nurtured the relationship and allowed it to grow.

But wasn't that the very thing you'd ran away from? To dishonor your family as you'd done, and then turn around and do the very thing they'd asked of you? How could you justify it? Marrying a prince would certainly put you back on their radar. If they found you again, what could you say for yourself? That it was different, because it wasn't their decision? It would break their heart, and likely yours as well.

"It would not matter, I'm afraid. I cannot marry you for my own reasons, and there's simply nothing that can change the circumstances." Distancing yourself from him was hard, and seeing the downtrodden look quickly pass his face was harder.

He collected himself, cleared his throat and returned to the same look he'd first given you. Looking down his nose, hands clasped behind his back, eye staring through you.

"You are a foolish girl." His statement shot a look of surprise to your face. "You do not know what is best for you. You ran from the Riverlands at the idea of a proposal that would have given you stability and a title, because you were too stubborn to accept a marriage you did not choose, and you do the same now."

"How dare you? You know nothing of my situation-"

"I know well enough about you to know that you are incapable of making beneficial decisions. I've allowed your adventures and you've lived your life, it is time for you to grow up and be my wife as you were meant to be."

Oh.

The silence was disastrous. You could only look at him with wide eyes, though you could not see him. You were back to that night, the last time you'd seen your family. Listening from outside their rooms as they spoke so gleefully about your proposal, and how they could not accept it fast enough. How honored they were to be considered, and how well suited you were for this man.

Could it have been Aemond's proposal? Surely you would've known. Your mother would not have waited to share this news with you. A prince asking for your hand? It would've been a triumphant win for your family. You were no great prize, the daughter of a decently wealthy house in Saltpans. A prince would raise your station farther than you could every dream, not that it was ever something you worried about. More importantly, though, Aemond was not some old Lord wanting to steal a girl away from her joys. Aemond could have made you...happy. Or at least, content.

"You sent the proposal? All those years ago?" You questioned him, but the answer seemed plain to you.

"My father sent it. I was unaware of the plans until the message returned with news of your disappearance. A girl who would spurn the chance to marry a prince, it was unspeakable. Humiliating. But I could not fault you. You were confused, and scared. You did not know me, so I sought you out. Then to find you here, pretending you do not know me. I gave you another chance, why do you not want me?"

"I didn't...I didn't know." You felt as if you could not speak, your whole life had been laid out based off this very important event. To know you'd gotten it wrong was earth shattering.

"What didn't you know?"

The room melted in the corner of your eyes, distorting your view. You held your stomach to quell the nausea riding, and went to step away from Aemond, only to trip and fall down, sitting on your calves.

Aemond knelt immediately to hold you up, calling to someone for aid. Black patched clouded your vision, but you squeezed your eyes, hoping to eradicate them.

"What's happened?" Sylvi's urgent voice snapped you back to consciousness, at least enough to push away from Aemond. "Aemond, what have you done to the poor girl?"

"I am okay, I just...want to lie down. I need to leave here, I need my rooms."

"Some water for the poor girl." Sylvi ordered someone, and you were helped up and ushered away to your room, where the girls doted on you, whilst questioning what caused such an episode.

@mamawiggers1980 @dahlias-and-marigolds @staarflowerr

[dark-authorr]

𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗧𝗬𝗣𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗕𝗟𝗘

pairing: dark!steve harrington x dark!eddie munson x dark!billy hargrove x drunk!reader

request: could you write about Eddie, Steve and Billy having a three some with reader after she gets the jealous? cnc if you’re comfortable - @luckygalaxysuit

warnings: heavy drinking, kiss, trapped, unwanted neck kisses, hair pulling, “kidnapping”, forced oral (male receives), gagging, choking, crying, forced double penetration, ass slapping, forced group sex, etc.

note: send in a bunch of requests for any character of any movie, series, and we will do our best to write about them. ONLY DARK!

like, comment, reblog, and follow us!

———

“You likin’ the party new girl?” Jason asked y/n after walking into his kitchen. “Yes, actually,” Y/n smiled as she poured her drink. “Maybe you should come to them more often,” he smiled back at her as he came up to get his drink.

“Maybe I should,” she couldn’t stop herself from showing teeth. Jason has always been sweet to her. She was surprised when the man invited her, and now he wants to invite her to future parties.

Throughout the night, y/n drank and laughed with Jason. He even took her to the dance floor to dance. She wouldn’t say she loved Jason, but she did love his attention.

“I’ll be right back,” Y/n said, turning to leave until he pulled her back. “Where are you going? The party is just getting started,” Jason smiled down at y/n, making her giggle. She felt like this could all be a dream.

“Just going to use the restroom,” Y/n said with a smile. “Get back soon, babe,” the jock said before placing a soft and slow peck on her lips. Once he pulled away and continued dancing with his group of friends.

Y/n wanted to ask him what that was about, but she decided to stay quiet and take it with her as people watched her walk away.

“How’s your night goin?” Y/n heard a voice as soon as she walked out of the bathroom. Y/n looked to see who it was and saw Steve, her long-time on-and-off friend. Well — Study buddy because his grades were never good.

“Oh, hey, Steve! My nights going well so far, and yours?” She asked as he kicked off the wall he was leaning against. “I bet it is. Didn’t know you and Jason were dating,” Steve couldn’t help but mention.

He and the other two had been watching her all night, each second getting harder to witness as she got closer to Jason by the minute.

“Me and Jason? Oh, no, no, we’re just friends,” y/n said as her heart raised a bit. “Didn’t seem that way, princess,” Steve said, flirting as he always does, but y/n had told him he should stop if nothing was going to happen between the two.

Steve was known for going around and being with any girl he wanted, and she didn’t want to be one of those who were marked by Steve Harrington.

“I swear, we’re just friends, I-I don’t know why he kissed me. Maybe he’s just a little drunk, you know?” Y/n said as Steve got closer, body now pressing her into the bathroom door she had closed.

“Sure you aren’t, babe? Seem a bit out of it, don’t you think?” Steve asked, making her feel a small pain in her chest. The way he talked to her with his tone made her feel uncomfortable.

“So what? I can’t drink?” Y/n asked, getting a bit defensive. “Not when you’re a pretty little thing alone,” one of Steve’s hands gripped y/n’s waist to pull her closer to him.

“What are you talking about- Hey, stop that!” Y/n shouted at Steve who began kissing at her neck. “Harrington, stop!” Y/n tried to sound more serious, but that only made him laugh.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Steve grabbed a hand full of y/n’s hair before pulling her to a room. “The boys can come find me. I’ve got some shit to set straight,” Steve said as he threw y/n into the room and locked the door.

“Steve, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like serious, are you-“ Y/n stood up and yelled at the man but was cut off by him forcing her back down to her knees.

“You know what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong is that you rejected me, but got your legs all open for Jason. A jock!” Steve was pissed, and she was soon going to find out how pissed he was.

“I’m sorry, but you and Jason are two different-“ y/n tried speaking but he yelled at her, telling her to shut up before he got angry. “There’s no excuse for it, y/n. Not one, and you’re gonna sit there and fuckin’ apologies to me,”

Y/n hoped Steve would calm down, but she noticed there was no hope for that when he reached into his pants, pulling his cock out in seconds.

“Steve, no!” Y/n slapped at the legs and stomach, but that didn’t phase him. “Stop movin, y/n,” Steve times came off warning, but she continued to fight.

Sadly, she wasn’t a match for Steve. The man forced his cock down her throat instantly, causing her to gag and cry onto his shaft.

“So damn pretty when you’re like this. If only you weren’t giving me a hard time,” Steve said through his teeth as he snapped his hips, fucking her face so hard, she could barely focus on his face.

“Always prayed for you to go down ok me during study time, but you were so fucking clueless. I even stripped and stayed in my boxers. I was fuckin’ hard, but all you thought was that I was trying to get comfortable. Dumb fucking slut,”

Y/n felt bad for the way she led Steve on, but she could’ve sworn he didn’t even want her.

“Then you got me watching Jason down your throat? Are you fucking serious!?” Steve’s free hand grabbed the side of her head so he could use both of his hands to pull her into his hard thrusts.

“Steve, where the fuck are you!?” Billy yelled in the hallway. “Harrington, I think she’s gone, man. C’mon, we gotta leave to find her,” Eddie said, knocking on every door.

The two had thought he might’ve taken another girl to a room after seeing y/n with Jason, but in actuality, that other girl was y/n.

“In here!” Steve shouted, telling them to come and see this view. “And you won’t believe you I’ve got with me,” Steve said as he kept his cock deep in y/n’s mouth.

“God, don’t tell me it’s Nancy. We don’t fucking care,” Billy said, always annoyed as they stood in front of the door, not wanting to meet eyes with some girl they didn’t care for.

“Want me to give you a hint?” Steve asked before he pulled y/n off of his cock. “Steve, please stop this. Please-“ y/n tried speaking quickly before he pushed back into her mouth. The gag noises sent Billy and Eddie to kick open the door.

“No way!” Billy said as Eddie got up front to the ground he fell on. “Are you serious? Before me!?” Eddie said as he closed the door behind him and tried to lock it, but the lock was broken.

“Nor how I’d like it, but it’ll do,” Steve said, making the boys lift their eyebrows u til they realized her makeup streaming down her face.

“Dude-“ Eddie cut himself off, wanting to confront him, but why would he? Y/n looked the best she’s ever had. Having Steve in her mouth as she cried, made him feel a type of way.

Billy on the other hand couldn’t care at all. All he wanted was a bite of her.

“Don’t worry, princess, I’m close,” Steve assured y/n who prayed this was a dream, but if it was, her throat wouldn’t be hurting so much. This was a live nightmare.

“Let’s get this shit off,” Billy dropped to his knees behind the girl before he ripped her dress apart. The man was strong, and that fabric never stood a chance against him.

“Tits looks a-fucking-mazing,” Eddie said as he got himself undressed, every concern being thrown out of the window. She looked too damn good to pass on.

“Mhm, they sure in the hell are,” Steve said as his thrusts stuttered a bit. “Oh shit,” Eddie laughed as Steve’s eyes shut tight. Y/n pushed at the man’s lower stomach, hoping to get away, but she instantly stopped as she held his liquid shoot down her throat.

Steve pushed y/n off of him after he couldn’t give anymore. She was instantly grabbed by Billy and carried to the nearest bed. After she was thrown down, she felt hands all over her. More than two.

“Stop it!” Y/n tried pushing Eddie and Billy away from her, but they listened or reacted. All they did was put themselves in a position they’d feel most comfortable in.

Y/n was now on top of the two, legs spread on both sides of Billy as Eddie stood behind her. “Don’t get drunk again, princess. Shit like this might not happen to you, then,” Eddie said as he gripped her panties off.

“Please, guys, stop this. I-I don’t- I don’t want this,” she begged the two. Billy rubbed his spot on his cock as she spoke, not caring about anything she had to say. She understood that after he forced himself through her cunt without wanting.

Y/n cried out in pain and pleasure. The knot in her stomach had already built in the lower part of her stomach.

“You’re tight for a nappy bitch,” Billy snapped his hips up as Eddie tried his best to coat his cock with as much cum as he could. He knew this wouldn’t be pretty for her, but he’s always wanted to eat or fuck her ass, and tonight, it was right in front of him. She was begging for it.

“Maybe I should’ve fucked her to hear that voice,” Steve said as he walked over to the bed. Y/n looked away from the man, wanting nothing to do with him, and he knew that. That’s why he rubbed the top of her head.

“Maybe if you weren’t so clueless, we could’ve done this a different way, y/n. If you think about it, this is all fault,” y/n hadn’t noticed how shitty Steve really was until tonight.

“Really getting it all out, huh?” Eddie said as he rubbed some spit along her upper hole. “Yeah — There’s no other way to put this situation,” Steve said, making new tears fill y/n’s eyes.

“Don’t worry, baby — Once I get in you, you’ll forget about his rude little words,” Eddie said as he pushed at y/n’s hole, making her pucker instantly. “N-No,” she said low, hoping he wasn’t doing what she was thinking.

“Ah huh, now relax so I can come in,” Eddie said, hand spreading her ass cheek as the other held his cock in place. “Eddie, no!” Y/n tried moving away, but the more she moved, the more Billy’s thrust under her made her closer to cumming, and she didn’t want to.

“Stop fuckin’ moving, y/n. Fuck,” Eddie grew impatient. Y/n went to cuss at the man or yell but she was cut off by a cry. Her head fell forward as Eddie broke through her upper walls.

“There we go,” Eddie continued pushing into the tightest hole he could fuck. “That’s it, just relax, baby. Relax, and I’ll fill you up in no time,” y/n cried at his words, knowing if they weren’t scared to do this to her, they weren’t scared to fill her.

“P-Please,” was all y/n could let out as her body went slack on top of Billy. “Good girls gonna get filled tonight, that right. Maybe more than once if she keeps squeezing me like this,” Billy said, and before she knew it, she released all over the man.

“Fuck, y/n, look at you!” Steve laughed as Eddie’s hand came down on her ass. “Double penetration is your thing, huh?” Eddie asked, earning a weak head shake and whine from her.

“Oh? Pretty girl hasn’t done any of this yet, huh? Guess we’re her first,” Eddie said as he watched his cock slip in and out of her hole that kept sucking him right back in. “And last,” Billy assured.

[enchantedtomeetyou1113]

post war Levi! x reader

Let me down slowly

______________________________

Summery: you and Levi live in your own small home after the war ended years before. You’ve been distant and he doesn’t know why.

-

A/n : hi! So basically I think I’m slowly becoming a song fic enthusiast it’s honestly an obsession. this is inspired by ‘let me down slowly’ by Alec Benjamin. Yes I know blast from the past I seen Alec post him playing it on guitar on TikTok and it inspired me to listen which inspired me to write this-I hope you enjoy!!!

-

Warnings: sad Levi . Angst . Hurt/comfort . Sfw

———————————————————————-

One week. One week of y/n being distant towards him. Sure they talk but not like the usual quiet conversations they share. There’s no comfortable silences and there hasn’t been soft whispers in the dark. Why? A question Levi asked over 100 times.

“Sorry I’ve just been in my head..” she’d reply with everytime, promising to give him attention after she finished with whatever task she’s so busy with.

And everytime he’d find her picking up a new task,and then another and another until she claims she’s too tired to stay up. Everytime she ends up sleeping while Levi lies awake fighting with his own fears and overthinking.

‘Did I do something?’

‘Is there someone else?’

These thoughts haunted his mind along with countless more. Levi was never good at voicing his feelings especially when it was ones that deemed him as weak or vulnerable.

So he fell asleep on the opposite side of their shared bed,feeling more and more restless without her normal proximity. His usual routine of holding her close until they both snored softly now changed into her falling asleep first curled up in her own little ball and Levi staying up staring at her until flipping over with his back facing the sleeping girl.

Hours later he woke up hearing footsteps sounding like they were coming from the kitchen and into the small bathroom down the small hallway. He blinked away the remaining sleep noticing the empty spot beside him.

Levi stood up feeling the cold floor and dragged himself up and through the little hallway to the bathroom door.

He knocked softly “y/n?” His voice laced with sleep and worry. “Are you alright? Why are you up so late?”

He heard rustling in the bathroom before he heard her small voice. “Im fine-“ He didn’t believe her from the sound of her voice. He furrowed his brows “okay.. come back to bed when you’re done,yeah?” He didn’t hear anything else after that and he stayed a few moments before walking back to the cold bedroom that used to be warm.

He waited laying face up on their bed. Staring at the ceiling waiting for his girl to come back. His patience was growing thin as 15 minutes passed by until he heard the floorboards creek under her steps as she came around the corner into the dark room.

He took this as an opportunity,an open door of sorts to finally talk to her about what’s really going on.

“Hey,” he starts his eyes not looking at her figure as she crawled onto her side on the bed. He felt himself get choked up trying to think of the right thing to say to get her to open up.

“Hi..” she said back. His eyes trailed to her and he wanted to sink into a hole and hide from the unreadable look on her face. It also wasn’t helping that he felt his eyes burn with unwanted tears.

‘Of course she doesn’t love me, look at me. I’m missing an eye,I have 1 and a half of a hand ugly scars that take up half of my face-‘ Levi was thinking to himself his own voice feeling like a drum in his ears and before he realized his arms wrapped around her pulling her in tighter then ever.

He heard her soft gasp. A man who once had dignity and grace. Who many looked up to and feared,now sat slipping through the cracks of her cold embrace.

“If.. if you’re leaving will you let me down slowly? Can you not string me along? Show me some sympathy or something-“ he breathed out as the hot tears fell down his cheek. “If you want to go-I can’t stop you..but I’ll be lonely” he whispered the last part but she caught it.

He felt her arms wrap around him in return. And his eyes widened slightly. “Levi,” she sighs as he prepares himself for the worst. “I’m not going anywhere. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” His brows raised and a hopeful but confused expression was plastered on his face. His lips parted slightly but he couldn’t think of a thing to say.

“I’m sorry…I’ve been so worried that I’m not enough for you and.. and that I’m not enough for anyone that I became distant.” Her eyes don’t meet his when he pulls back to look at her expression.

“What?” His brows furrow for the 10th time tonight. “What the hell makes you think that?”

“It…it started when you had that..nightmare last week..” the memory flashed through his mind.

~

“Darling it’s okay-it’s not real wake up.” She shook him softly.

“Get-get off me!” He struggled in his sleep.

“It’s just me! Come on open your eyes-“

His eyes shot open and he sat up abruptly gasping. He felt his whole body shaking and in a cold sweat. “It’s okay..” she whispered as she rubbed circles on his arm. He shrugged her off as he plopped himself back down. She felt a little hurt but pushed it to the side. “Do.. do you want to talk about it?” “No.” “Are you sure?”

“You can’t help anyways.”

Oh.

~

“Y/n…” he trails off understanding her behavior.

“I just…I just want to be able to help you.. shouldn’t I be the one to?” She whispered

“You do-you are.” He puts his good hand on her cheek cupping her sad face. “You are the only one who helps. And the only one I want to help.. you do more for me then I can ever ask for.” his thumb pets her cheek. She feels tears well up in her eyes and Levi wipes the hot tear as it falls down her face.

“I wouldn’t want it from anyone else. You are the only one I’d ever need.” Her lips turn slightly up and his face mirrors hers.

She moved closer to press her lips onto his and he practically melts into her intoxicating touch. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her waist as he pulls her closer to him. When the kiss breaks he lays down pulling her onto his chest and his fingers find their way into her hair. She sighs in content and both feel the weight on their shoulders lifted.

“You’re not actually allowed to leave.” He says matter of factly.

“Lucky you that’s the last thing on my mind.”

———————————————————————

A/n: you know what I tried 😔 I don’t know how sucky this is but please like and comment your thoughts 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[gentaro-kinniecom]

Jealous much?

Characters: Solivan Brugmansia/gn!reader

C/w: jealousy, friends to lovers troupe, reader helps Solivan with some bullies, Crowe and his feelings for the reader, Sol takes care of reader <3

A/n: I might make a sequel to this post cause..why not? I have at least 3 more works in progress of tkatb so stay tuned for more >:3. This was SUPPOSED to be more early but with graduation and my summer job its been hectic 😔 (not proofread)

Rain drops fell gently onto the surfaces that it could. The cloudy and cold atmosphere bringing back unwanted memories for me. It took me back to when I was a happy child running around the fields that my family owned. Why did fate had to be this way? I couldn't relish in the sad moment for long, my life had changed, some may think for the better, but in all honesty, I've lost myself in it.

The city life was not for the weak, especially in this society that judges you based on your backgrounds. Hallways and classrooms were empty as I walked by, meaning another day where I would stay behind until the sun rised up, studying in the library. It felt depressing, well, it was. Even with all my friends who share classes with me, I’ve never felt a sense of comfort around anymore. Upon arrival, I sighed gently while scanning my library card, heading towards my favorite spot and to hopefully meet him again: Solivan Brugmansia, the same man who I aided long ago.

Some bullies had cornered him, if it weren’t for me, he could’ve gotten bruised up badly(or so I thought). Sol’s strength was enough to not be messed around with yet, he was always careful with me. His long, black hair with green stripes was noticeable from afar, a smile subconsciously appeared across my features, walking towards him with my books in one arm and a cup of coffee in my hand.

“Hi” I spoke, my voice a mear whisper as he smiled, kissing my cheek while allowing me to sit beside him.

“Hey..thanks for the coffee, I saved your seat in hopes you’d be here” His gaze remained on the hoodie I wore, a purple-ish one with some designs around it, though I could tell something bothered him.

“Aw, that’s real sweet of you Sol..!” Taking the vacant seat by the window, Sol’s eyes returned to the book at hand, analyzing the text while taking a casual sip or two after some pages. I placed my books aside, taking out my computer and working on some last details for an upcoming presentation.

“Is that sweater you’re wearing someone else’s?” The question caught me off guard while Sol closed the book, his attention returning towards me as I continued to type away

“Crowe made me borrow it, he said it would get cold during the night, even if I insisted it was fine” A glint of jealousy made his eyes glimmer with a bit of rage, directed towards Crowe who had the audacity, in Sol’s words, to lend me something of his. After the small talk, we returned to our devices while Sol’s cup inched close to me. Which I thought nothing of it until the, now warm, liquid splashed against Crowe’s hoodie.

“Sol! Ah..what am I going to do now?” My eyes widened as the panic settled in. Pouted lips looking down at the mess that occurred while Sol spoke.

“I can wash it, and hand it over tomorrow..if you don’t mind?” The offer was tempting, and besides, the washing machine at my apartment had broken down. It was like an angel had been sent down from the heavens truly.

“Really? Well, if you’re offering..” With a smile, Sol helped me take the sweater off, folding it and placing it in his backpack. Was he really concerned or jealous by me wearing it? After an hour or so spent in the library, my sleepy eyes gazed over at Sol’s figure that had finished his book a few minutes prior 11:00pm.

His eyes turned to stare at me, as if, he knew I was staring beforehand. The library air making goosebumps arise on my skin as Sol noticed. A small warmth wrapped around my body, making me sigh while laying my hand down onto the table, resting for a bit as he smiled.

It was past noon when I woke up in a different place rather than the library. A soft, warm bed beneath me made contrast to the heavy rain pouring outside, making me groan and stretch my limbs, still remaining in the bed as the door suddenly opened. Solivan stood outside, entering shortly after while smiling, his body beside my own as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Mn, how did I get here?” Too tired to even acknowledge the strength he had to take me here, in his home, I was glad he did. The moment didn’t last long as I was now wide awake, staring up at the crimson eyes that gently creased while smiling

“You were tired and..we couldn’t stay at the library for too long, I hope you don’t mind” Room infused by Sol’s cologne made my heart flutter, it seemed he recently got out of the shower. Soft damp hair met my face as I buried it on the crook of his neck. Our actions were far too intimate to call this as “only friends”. Every reasonable thought left me as Sol wrapped an arm around my back, lips caressing my forehead and cheeks while smiling.

“It’s okay, you know I trust you Sol..” More rain could be heard from his room, creating a cozy and cold atmosphere around us. There was no one else I’d rather be with during these moments, so close yet…

“Are you hungry? I made some soup earlier..perfect for this weather, isn’t it?” I nodded, watching as he parted away from my body. Planting a kiss on my neck while walking towards the kitchen. The fresh and soft aroma of the miso soup he prepared made my stomach rumble with hunger

“You always make the best food Sol” Now reachinh the kitchen area, I sat by one of the bar stools, admiring the pink apron he wore. A bowl was later on placed in front of me, its contains making me smile as Sol spoke

“Mn? You really think so?” He asked, grabbing a bowl for himself. Standing in front of me while meeting my gaze, smiling as he enjoyed eating with me.

“Mhm! There’s no one else’s food that I’d enjoy then yours..” A hand was placed on my cheek, staring at Sol who leaned towards me, our lips meeting briefly as he smiled.

“Then..I wouldn’t mind cooking meals for you, my darling.” We shared another short but sweet kiss while smiling. Sol quickly went to wash the dishes, later returning to his bedroom, hand in hand. Warm touches graces my skin as Sol filled my embrace, kissing my face while sighing in peace.

Sequel (coming soon)

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Nine — Azriel x Reader

Summary: Roza’s arrival in Windhaven brings some home truths crashing down on Reader. She just needs a hug, someone to talk to, but it all goes very, very wrong…

Word Count: 3k.

Warnings: None.

Chaos evades logic.

There is no rationality to be found here. No sense to be made of the ample feelings that begin to chew you up and spit you out.

All you know, as you lace your breeches up and correct yourself, is that you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut.

“Are you decent?” Roza calls, her back still to you.

You tie the last lace. Clear your throat. “All good.”

The closest person you’ve ever had to a mother figure turns on the spot. She’s absolutely beautiful — fucking glowing — her swollen belly visible through her thick coat, and her eyes alight with a quality you’ve never seen before.

Rhysand really is the mirror image of her.

“I actually cannot believe I just witnessed that.” She grouses. “And just when I thought the morning sickness had finally come to an end, too. My poor, poor eyes.”

Cassian makes a noise. “Roz, that’s a bit dramatic—”

“You be quiet.” She points a finger at him. “Your mouth has done quite enough tonight, thank you very much.”

The two of them stare at each other — Cassian wanting to be a little shit and push his luck, and Roza wanting to…

Well, to gouge her eyes out with a rusty spoon, probably.

But then Cassian cracks a grin, and he’s bounding over to the female like an excitable pup. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

“Watch your language.” Roza scorns, but she happily accepts the hug that Cass yanks her into. “Gods, you’ve grown even more.”

You…you are rooted to the spot. Unable to move.

You want to go over there, too. To embrace her. But…but just seeing Roza makes the previous couple of months come hammering down on you in an unwelcome downpour of unwanted realisations.

You think: Roza caught me fooling around with Cassian.

And then you think: Fucking hell, I fooled around with Cassian again.

And then you’re wondering how — how you’ve let the recent events of your life veer down such a beaten, broken path.

It’s like Roza’s appearance brings a clarity that has been very much absent as of late. She’s always been a figure of reason and wisdom, always stopped you from spiralling.

And now she’s here, you’re looking at Cassian — your damn friend — and wondering just how much damage you might have caused.

He’s mid-conversation with Roza when he seems to notice you staring at him. Roza notices, too.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She says.

You open your mouth, unsure how you intend to respond. All that slips out is a rasped, “I’m just…so glad you’re here.”

Cassian snorts. “Tell that to your face.”

You can’t bring yourself to laugh at the jibe. And it would seem that Roza can’t, either. She’s studying you in that assessing way you’ve seen her wear a thousand times before — the one where the motherly instinct kicks in, and she’s sensing something is wrong. It seems to be a subconscious act, the way she slides her hand over her bump.

“So what are you doing back here, anyway?” Cassian asks her, slinging an arm round her shoulders. “I thought the High Lord wanted you to stay in Velaris for the pregnancy.”

“He does.” Roza says. “But then I found out Y/N had somehow ended up homeless and that he hadn’t bothered to help, so he and I aren’t on the best of terms right now.” She eyes you again. “I’ve come to move you properly into the cottage — including retrieving your belongings from your father’s house. I will not have you freezing your ass off in this dump.”

Gods, you love her.

She’s so fierce, so passionate. This is a female who housed three lost, rowdy children under her roof and offered them the same amount of love as she felt for her biological son. This is a female who does what she believes is right and damns the consequences. This is a female who doesn’t hesitate — not for one second — to help somebody in need.

She’s the exact kind of female you want yourself to be. And she’s the only person you wish to see in that moment.

“Perfect.” Cassian chirps brightly. “I’ll help. Let’s go fetch Y/N’s stuff from the bastard’s house right now.”

He takes a step towards the door, but Roza is laying a hand on his arm. She doesn’t look away from you once. “Cassian, my darling, I love you endlessly. And so, I say this with the greatest of adoration — fuck off to the mead hall, or something, and leave Y/N and I to have some girl time alone.”

“What?” He squawks in outrage. “But you just got here.”

“And I promise you we’ll catch up properly later. But right now, Y/N and I need some time alone.”

“But—”

“Do you want to stay and discuss the ins and outs of childbirth?”

Instantly, he falters. The change of tune would be comical if you were actually capable of feeling anything but despair in that moment.

“You know what?” He cracks a grin. “The mead hall sounds great right about now.”

Roza chuckles. “I thought it might. I’m taking Y/N back to the cottage. I’ll come and fetch you when we’re done. And if you see Az or Rhys, be sure to tell them to stay away, too.”

Oh.

This is going to be a serious talk.

You can’t remember the last time Roza was so insistent about it just being the two of you.

Probably when you got your first ever cycle, and she held and soothed and bathed you through it.

Will she still be so tender when she hears of the full scope of the mess you’ve created for yourself? You’re not sure you’d deserve it.

“Go easy, Cass.” Roza warns. “Don’t get into any fights.”

“Pff. As if I would.” Your friend lands a kiss on her cheek. “You look beautiful, Roz.” He says, and then he’s bustling out of the door without a care in the world.

You stare after him. Wish you could be that carefree. It feels…it feels impossible.

Gods, you just want to fucking cry.

Roza can see that. She holds a hand out.

“Come, my little dove.” She says. “Let’s get you home.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

It kind of feels like walking into the cottage for the very first time, all over again.

You remember that night like it happened only yesterday. Remember how the cold had felt as you’d followed Azriel through the snow. The noises of bickering coming  from behind the door.

Even at eleven, Az had always seemed so much taller than you. You’d noticed that as he’d strode ahead and led you inside.

Roza had been standing in the kitchen, and she’d turned to you with a curious expression. “Oh.” She’d chirped, with more warmth than you’d ever heard from your own kin. “What have we here, then?”

You, Azriel had explained to her, had been set upon by a group of males far older than you. Az had defended you, and then he’d invited you to share his dinner.

Roza had taken one look at the dirt packed beneath your fingernails and told you to thoroughly wash your hands before taking a seat. You’d done just that.

And it was at that very table that Rhysand had introduced himself.

“I’m Rhysand. My father is the High Lord.”

Roza had scolded him for showing off.

And it was after that that Cassian had eyed you with a wild, feral look and simply said, “I bet I could beat you in an arm wrestle. I beat everyone.”

“Not at my dinner table, you don’t.” Roza had put a stop to that immediately. And then she’d placed a steaming pie in the centre of the table, and High Lords and arm wrestles were all but forgotten, and Azriel had been quiet and shy at your side, but dutifully offering you different foods before he took any for himself—

Standing at the threshold of the cottage, now…it’s like watching that entire scene play out before you. The ghosts of your younger, wayward selves feast greedily on a wholesome meal that lets you forget your harrowing experiences for a little while.

How things have changed.

You finally step in. Kick the door shut behind you. The smells and warmth of your sanctuary envelop you, and you know — you fucking know that you won’t be able to keep a lid on your tears for long.

“Don’t know how many times I’ve told those idiots to put the fire out before they leave the house.” Roza mutters, but she goes striding straight towards that burning fire and welcomes its warmth. “Although, I must admit, I’m a little impressed. I expected this place to be far messier in my absence than it is. Don’t tell me they’ve actually been cleaning—”

“Roza.” You cut in, your voice shaky, desperate. “About what you saw—”

She turns back to you. Says nothing as concerned, violet eyes sweep the length of your body. She’s letting you speak, but you don’t know what the fuck to say.

You open and close your mouth as though the act will make some sense of…any of this.

It doesn’t.

“I didn’t realise you and Cassian were…” Roza clears her throat. Pauses. “I just…what of Azriel, Y/N?”

You blink at her.

Roza’s very good at knowing things she hasn’t been told, but for her to know about you and Az when she’s been in Velaris this whole time, and when, as far as you’re aware, these things have been strictly kept between you and Azriel only—

“What?” You breathe.

“Perhaps I’m wrong, I don’t know.” She frowns. “But I always suspected that you and Az would be…something more. Your connection with him has always run a little deeper than with anyone else. That’s why I was so shocked when I found you…and Cass…”

Is she wrong?

No.

And fucking damn you for taking all these years to see it. Fucking damn you for only realising you wanted Azriel as more than just your friend when somebody else began to recognise his brilliance.

Fucking damn you for all of this, and damn Azriel, too, and damn everyone.

It all comes showering down on you in an instant, harsh and unwelcome.

You love Azriel. Not just in the way you love Rhysand and Cassian. You’re in love with his soul, his spirit. Who he is will always be tethered to who you are, even though he isn’t yours to cling onto. It’s been that way since you were old enough to harbour such feelings, and you’ve been burying it all these years, burying it under bad choices and regrettable actions, because all of that seemed easier to face, than…this. The fact that you were never able to control your heart, stop it from feeling such things, and now you feel them so intensely that it hurts.

Had your deal with Az ever really been about helping him, or had it been a selfish ruse under which you could have some small experience to remember him by when he inevitably gave his heart to somebody else?

Because you are just Y/N. You’ve always just been Y/N.

You are not Kaeda — Kaeda with the wings, and the strength, and the excellence.

Just Y/N. Just Y/N—

“Speak to me, my love.” Roza steps closer. “I’m worried about you.”

Your eyes blur with tears. Your legs buckle, and you’re bracing one hand on the back of the couch while the other flies up to cup over your mouth.

“Oh, gods, what have I done?” Your voice breaks.

“Speak to me.” Roza says again.

“This is all such a mess.”

“What is, Y/N?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t know what—what to do!”

“You need to breathe.” She responds firmly. “Deep breaths. Now.”

You try. Gods, you try. But your chest is constricting, and the air won’t reach your lungs, and all you can hear on a constant loop inside your head is one, bellowing sentence.

Everything is irreversibly changed.

Roza closes the gap between you and cups your face. The touch is soft, but firm. She forces you to look at her, and her face is blurred by your tears, but you know she’s looking at you how she’s always looked at you — with love.

“Tell me what’s going on, and I can help you through it.” She pleads.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” You sob back.

She yanks you close, arms wrapping around you. She’s held you like this through so, so much. This is no different.

But it feels different, in that it feels worse. Not only is it possible that your actions could change your relationships with both Cassian and Azriel, but also that they could change their relationship with each other, too — change the strong, steadfast dynamic between your three closest friends.

You tremble, clinging to Roza like you may just collapse. Your heartbeat gallops in your ears like rhythmic footfalls.

“Y/N—”

“It all turned into a total mess.” You choke out. “I was feeling things — I am feeling things — and then Azriel had Kaeda and I was jealous and stupid and I — I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have slept with Cassian.”

“You did what?”

Those three, outraged words are not spoken in Roza’s voice. The sudden interjection of Azriel’s is enough for your sobs to catch in your throat.

Every single inch of your body goes cold as you step back to look at him. Blink at him. Roza fights to keep hold of you.

Normally, he would have hurried over to embrace her. But he stays rooted to the last step of the staircase. He’s staring at you. Only you.

You’ve never seen him look so pale.

“Az.” Roza sighs softly. “We didn’t realise you were home.”

He doesn’t look away from you — not once — as he asks, “What did you just say?”

Roza inches towards him. “I think we all need to sit down and talk about this—”

“You fucked Cassian?”

Tears spill over, roll down your cheeks. Your voice doesn’t want to show itself as you croak out, “Az, I can explain.”

“You fucked Cassian?” He’s repeating it like…like he needs to. Like it won’t get into his head any other way. “You had sex with him?”

“Yes, but—”

“Around the time you and I were doing similar things?”

Roza’s head whips round to you in surprise. You’d failed to mention that bit. After a moment, she rights herself once more. “Azriel, you should let her speak.”

“I can’t fucking believe you.” Letting you speak is the last thing on his mind as he steps down, storming past the two of you. You reach out for him, but he’s jerking away, heading for the door.

“Azriel, please.” Your voice cracks. “Let me explain.”

“Explain that you fucked Cass? At the same time that I was sharing such…such huge things with you—”

“At the same time you were sharing them with Kaeda!”

He falls still, hand faltering on the doorknob, shoulders hunched.

And then he glances over his shoulder at you with an expression so bleak, you’d do anything, make a bargain with anyone, to wipe it from his face.

“Except that I’ve never touched Kaeda like that.” He says. “Not once. I couldn’t.”

Before you’re capable of summoning an answer, he’s yanking the door open and thundering out into the snow.

Shock pulses through you, ice-cold and harrowing. You blink, and blink and blink and blink, and you think Roza might be saying your name, but you can only choke out another sob that grates against your throat, and then your legs are moving forward, stumbling out of the door.

“Az, wait!” You cry, but he’s already striding far into the distance. “Please!”

You try to move, but it’s like the snow is binding your ankles, grounding you firmly to the spot. You sob. Try to move. Fall. Get up. It’s cold and wet. You’re hurting. Everything’s hurting.

And somebody’s yelling — yelling at you.

“Hey!” You know the voice. It’s a voice you don’t like. But you can’t put a face to it until its owner is stopping in front of you, sneering at you. Lord Devlon. “What did I tell you about staying away from these parts, girl?”

You’re incapable of answering him. You’re not even looking at him. You just stare and stare in the direction that Az disappeared in, fat, hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I’m talking to you.” Devlon grabs your chin between his fingers, hard. “Insolent female—”

“Remove your hand from her face at once.”

He blinks at the sight of Roza stepping out of the cottage. Clearly, he had no clue she’d returned. And even he won’t speak out against the High Lord’s pregnant mate.

He drops his hand immediately.

Roza steps up to your side and narrows her gorgeous eyes at him. Her hand sits on her swollen belly. “Look at you, Lord Devlon — following orders like a good dog. Now, go on. Fuck off.”

There’s a slight twitch of a muscle as he clenches his jaw. He hates every second of it, but he obediently turns away from you.

“Oh — Lord Devlon?” Roza calls after him.

He stops. Turns. “Yes, lady?”

“I decide who can and cannot live in my house.” She stares him down. “That call is mine and mine alone. And if I hear of you giving Y/N any more trouble? I’ll rip your fucking throat out.”

She turns her back to him with utter dismissal. If you weren’t so devastated, you might laugh at his stunned expression.

But Roza sees the pain in your eyes, and she pulls you into her arms.

“Come, my love.” She murmurs  softly. “Let’s get you inside.”

az tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes

[yeonmuse]

𓍯 — Girl Of My Dreams 𖡎

ᥫ᭡ f!reader x sim jaeyun ── 𝒢enre. angst. fluff, non idol enha. ᭙ᥴ 5.4k Not proofread [reqs are open] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary

authors 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈 so recently I watched this film called dr birds advice for sad poets and I fell in love with it, the somber romance and dependency of one person to another to keep them mentally stable just stuck with me. Though this isn’t as somber to the movie the limerent romance is similar.

IN WHICH Jake finds himself deeply in love with a girl that has a somber heart but a love for poetry. She uses words to mask the pain that hides behind her angelic smile, and the closer the two get the more dependent she becomes on him.

🏷️ : @jwonistic @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @sol3chu @butterflywonz

In all honesty Jake knew absolutely nothing about poetry, he had never even found himself interested in a single poem until he had laid eyes on her. Though he was a man of books and literature, never in his life had he picked up a book of poetry. Even so he found himself attending every meeting of the dead poets society, all out of hopes that he could finally get closer to her.

Despite his friend group Jake had always been a socially awkward person, being around others that weren’t his childhood friends made him absolutely anxious. When he became overwhelmed it was like Bees swarming a comb of honey, his thoughts sent into an immediate frenzy. To outsiders because he was quiet and just had always remained in the books it made him weird. He hated the unwanted attention that surrounded him, the negative and positive attention that seemed to surround him like a heavy fog, there was only person's attention he truly wanted and didn’t mind having and that was hers. Everything about her was vibrant and the complete personification of what sunlight was to be in human form. First time their eyes met he felt he had experienced what it was like to come face to face with the stars, to stare into the heart of space itself. She summoned an endless swarm of butterflies in the pit of his stomach every time the two crossed paths. So imagine his feelings when she approached him and his friends during their study session; a study session during which only two of them seemed to be studying.

Jake had been so entirely invested in his book that he hadn’t even realized she approached their table. It wasn’t until his nose had sensed the sweet smell of her perfume that he realized she had been nearby. Sunghoon slaps at Heeseungs shoulder as if to bring his attention to the scene before them. All of his friends were well aware of the massive crush they’re friend had on her.

“Jake?” His heart had begun to beat so fast that he felt he was experiencing heart palpitations, as he heard his name spill from her plump lips, a sound that was absolutely angelic falling upon his ears. The way his name melted off her tongue sending his burning stomach into a frenzied state.

“You’re Jake right?” As he finally tore his gaze away from his book and forced them to focus on her face, he froze up on the spot.

“You are so breathtakingly beautiful.” The words spilled from his lips before he himself could even grasp the fact that they had.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“..Okay, anywho..Jake.” She says it again, the butterflies in his stomach rampage upon her calling his name again. He'd have sworn he had honey dripping from his ears by now, having heard his name from her once again.

“You work in the bookstore downtown right?”

“Right, yeah every week.”

“Perfect, um so the poetry club has been looking for a new place to meet after hours since the campus library is usually closed, and since I’ve seen you around there I was wondering, do you think we could use the bookstore?” Her every word has slipped through one ear and out the other, all he could do was stare into her doe eyes and wonder what thoughts were running through the forest in her head.

“Uh y-yeah I guess I could ask the owner?”

“Yes, yes yes! Thank you.” With the smile that spread across her face she was like the true embodiment of an angel. Before he had any sort of time to react she had kissed his cheek and ran off.

In that moment he had experienced over a thousand flames igniting within him, his heart entirely set ablaze.

The next morning he sat in class contemplating the ways he could ‘accidentally’ run into her outside of her classroom once her lecture had been over. He stood pacing the floor, his thoughts nearly swallowing him whole like a sea of irregular waves. He did that often when it came to her, constantly overthinking, always questioning whether or not she’d ever truly be interested in him. If he would ever actually man up and tell her he had adorned her for quite some time.

“Jake?” Her voice instantly pulled him from his head, forcing him to focus on something other than his thoughts of her and remain in the present. As his eyes fell upon her she dismissed her friends and made her way over to him.

“Hey, I was looking for you this morning, usually you’re in the courtyard with your friends but you weren’t there this morning.” She noticed that? She noticed him enough to realize that he wasn’t in his usual place.

“Ah right I got here a little late, my shift last night ran kinda late. I did get the okay to have you guys use the store though, as long as everyone is out by 12 the place is all yours.”

“Oh my god! You’re literally the best!” Jake found himself lost in her smile, lost in her dimples as she cheerfully pulled a note from her bag.

“This is the poetry club's schedule. I made this extra one so that you would be aware of the days we’ll be attending, since you’ll already be there. Maybe you should listen to it every now and then?” She hands over the invitation with a smile, his gaze remained glued to her as she brushed the loose strands of hair away from her face.

“Ah yeah, Maybe I should. I've been wanting to get into poetry lately.” A blatant lie, he had never ever thought to get into it.

“Oh? Then tonight will be perfect for you. We're discovering the works of Edgar Allen, starting off with simple works since we’ve gotten new members.” The only time he had ever picked up any work by the former writer he had been in middle school, it was the only time he had ever read poetry in his life and it had been forced upon him.

“Save a book for me then yeah?”

“I’ll get there early tonight, maybe you can help me set up before everyone gets there?” He couldn’t possibly deny her request, with the way her beautiful eyes gazed at him expectantly, he was forced to crumble under pressure.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Of course he’d be there he had to fucking work. He swore when it came to her all his logic was immediately thrown out the window.

When Jake had finally arrived to work his thoughts were rampant once more, with no way to silence them. He was nervous to say the least, he had never experienced love, nor had he ever experienced what it was like to love someone this much, let alone someone like her. She was like a rare flower that only bloomed upon the night of a full moon. Her energy was always infectious to anyone that had crossed paths with her. She had a way of making even the saddest of man smile.

The ding of the front bell drew Jake out of his ongoing thoughts, and as she walked wearing her white button up and black skirt, a red sweater adorned around her waist. His eyes drink her in, as if snapping a picture with his pupils and engraving the sight within his mind for eternity. Everything about her was sweet, her plump lips, the dimples that poked out when she smiled, the freckles that adorned her face, and don’t even get him started with her laugh or her voice, that melted off her tongue like sweet honeysuckle.

“Hi Jake.”

“Hey, you actually really did come earlier than expected.”

“I’m a girl of my word.” She responds with a smile as she sits down on a box of books on the only empty table in the store.

“So there's a room in the back, where we keep the old books, but there’s enough space for all of you to gather there, and it's somewhat secluded if you all don’t want to be bothered.”

“Thank you I honestly owe you one, I really do appreciate us letting you use the place.” She responds with a smile, taking the sweater from around her neck and placing it on the table.

“I’ll take these back there for you, feel free to look around.” He lifts the box with ease, not seeming to realize the way she observes him curiously. She had always seen him around campus, or in their shared lectures, his head always buried in a book when he wasn’t studying or hanging around his friends. She always thought him to be cute, though she wasn’t the type to simply crush on someone all because they were cute, she liked to take the deeper dives. To fall for anyone she needed to fall deep into the abyssal vortex of their minds.

She trails him, strolling through the aisles, eyes scanning through the ongoing shelves of books, her fingers dusting over each outdated and upgraded cover, or spine.

“Do you like it here? I mean you must love books a lot to work here of all the options in town.”

“Yeah it’s not bad, I mean the pay could be better but I’d rather be surrounded by something I love than getting higher pay for a shitty job that leaves me miserable.” He responds by taking one of the books into his hands as he sits down the box full of them. He had seen poe's work countless of times, his poetry above all being one of the recent purchases from the store, though he himself had never been intrigued enough to even spare it a glance until now.

“Do you have a favorite work?”

“Favorite work?”

“A favorite piece of his? Poe? Or any poet for that matter if you prefer others.”

“Ah, I’ve actually never even bothered to pick up any poetry, don’t think I’ve read any since I was in middle school.”

“Seriously?”

“I guess I just never got the point, to me they were always just mindless words put together on a page.”

“Then that means you just haven’t written the right works.” She disappears from sight leaving Jake confused as he hears rustling down one of the aisles until she returns with a book.

“This one is one of my favorites.” She steps at his side pulling the book open to one of the first pages inside.

“She walks in beauty, Lord Byron.” As she began to read he found himself captivated, near hypnotised by the sound of her voice. Partially distracted how close the two of them now were, close enough for him to detect the aroma of her perfume almost immediately. As her arm brushed against his own it sent shivers up his back.

“She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o’er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent”

Once she finished reading her gaze shifted from the book in hand, over to him who had already been looking at her.

“Beautiful.” He wasn’t talking about the poem, he meant how captivating she could look standing there. How angelic her voice had sounded as she read through the lines of the page. Of course the poem itself was beautiful, it resembled the exact way he thought of her, but having her standing here she looked all the more beautiful.

“It may sound beautiful, yes, but the words where you hear them, what do you think? What did they mean to you?”

“Sounds to me like he’s praising a woman for her beauty, the unfathomable realization that one could be so beautiful, that they could look so sweet and angelic, she must be praised for her visuals and attributes among all.”

He responds, tearing his gaze away from her and looking at the book, part of that had been solely his thoughts towards her.

“Well, the piece is meant to praise the inner and outer attributes of a woman, to admire her beauty, innocence and purity. The admiration of a woman and all that she may be, adorning her inner and outer beauty.”

“It’s beautiful.” He responds looking back at her, her eyes had nearly met him until the bell at the front door rung and slowly but surely members of the club began to trickle in.

Though work pulled him away from the ongoing meeting it didn’t stop him from stopping in every now and then nor did it stop his ears from listening in. He never thought he’d ever find himself interested in poetry but the way she talked about it, how passionate she got when it came to each poem, it drew him in.

By the end of the night when everyone had left and the meeting had come to an end, she was the last to stay behind.

“So what did you think?” She sauntered over to the checkout counter, resting her elbows on top and her head in her palms.

“I guess it’s not as boring as I thought.” He responds, trying to act cool at which she only laughs at his attempt at being nonchalant.

“There's no meeting tomorrow, but do you work?”

“I open tomorrow, yes, though Someone else will be closing.”

“Perfect, I’ll swing by and pick you up after your shift, I’ll make sure that by the end of this week you’ll absolutely love it by the end of this week.”

“Yeah? If you can get me to like it, I'll take you and the whole club out for ice cream, my treat.”

“I hope your wallet is ready by the end of the week then.” She grabs her things, throwing her sweater over her shoulder before making her way to the door.

“See you tomorrow.”

“You promised her what??” Heeseung and Sunghoon were sent into a fit of laughter as Jake went over the events of tonight.

“Oh you’re so whipped it's insane.”

“Im pretty sure I’m fucked, even if I don’t like anything she shows me tomorrow I know I’ll just give in and tell her I like it anyways.”

“How many people are in this club anyways?”

“Including her, twenty.”

“So basically he’ll be buying two hundred dollars worth of ice cream.”

“Isn’t that like your whole paycheck? You only make 350 a week.”

“Well at least he’s finally got a date with the girl of his dreams.”

The next morning Jake found himself watching the clock, waiting for the time to trickle down, his eyes often shifting to the door as if he had been waiting for her to walk right through it. Eventually he forced himself to keep himself busy, dusting shelves and rearranging books out of hopes that it would make the time go by faster, though it just continued to go agonizingly slow. As the front bell dinged he quickly rushed to the front, his heart nearly falling from his chest as she entered. With her green topped button up and brown skirt, this was the first time he hadn’t seen her in some sort of formal attire, honestly it was the first time he had ever been seeing her outside of a scholastic setting. She looked beautiful as always, but something about the revelation of skin made goosebumps adorn his skin.

“Hi Jake.” She approaches him with a bright smile, that same bright smile that made his heart beat every time he laid eyes upon it.

“You look, you look beautiful.” He spoke absentmindedly, earning a smile from her.

“Not that you don’t look beautiful all the time- just today you..today I actually. You know what I think they need help over there I’ll be right back.” Jake silently curses himself as he slips from behind the counter and escapes the aisle to help an elderly couple that had just entered the store.

Meanwhile she sauntered down the aisle, her eyes trailing the shelves until landed upon something that was worthy of a read in her eyes.

“Stealing beauty.” A book she herself had read time and time again simply to feel something, a reminder to her that love existed, that even the most foreign loves could be real.

“Have you read it?” Jake asks, stepping behind her he takes one of the five copies of the book into his hand.

“Mm I have, more times than i’d like to admit.”

“There's something about italian romance that is above all other types, summer italy. Maybe it’s the fact that Italy itself is more beautiful that makes the romance so breathtaking.” He continues on as he puts the book back in his place, this was the first time that she was getting a good look at him now that they had been this close. As he spoke she found his words tugging at her heartstrings, she was getting a glimpse into his own mind.

“Do you like them? Romance books?”

“I’ve read them since I was younger, I’ve always had a knack for them, I’ll read any genre but there’s something about romance that makes you feel hopeful about your own love life, helps discover the things you yourself might like to experience with another person.” The more he talked the more his thick accent melted her ears, there was something infectious about the way he spoke, it was quite obvious that he was a man of books.

“Jake! You can clock out now. I'm sorry for being late.” A tall male who she assumed to be his coworker yells from the front counter, neither of them knew when he got there but he had now made his presence known.

“Soobin you do realize you don’t have to yell, I wasn’t even that far back in the store.” Jake walks away and she lets out an unknown sigh of relief.

For the first time since knowing about him, she found herself becoming more and more interested in Sim Jaeyun.

“So you mean to tell me you’ve really read books all your life and never picked up one poetry book?” She asks, as the two walked down the street side by side

“I’ve never found any interest in it. Why read something so short and inconclusive when I could fall into the world of a book, stimulating my imaginative side.”

“Poems may also be short but they tell a story as well, it may not be as long and drawn out as the chapters of a book, but if you find the right one you’ll fall in love with them.”

The two of them found themselves walking down the street market, her immediately stopping as her eyes fell upon the jewelry cart and he instantly took notice at what her eyes fell upon.

“Do you want one?”

“What?”

“The ring, did you want one?”

“As beautiful as they are, I can't have you buy this Jake.”

“I’ll take two of them.” He tells the seller, completely ignoring her disapproval of him spending money on her.

“Thank you.” Jake gives the seller a charming smile below continuing their walk.

“Here.” He stops only a few feet away to slip the ring on her finger before slipping one on his own.

“What is the significance of these anyways, what’s special about them?” She had been so busy staring down at her hand that she nearly ignored his question.

“They’re mood rings.”

“Like the rings that change with your mood right?” She gives him an absent nod and he looks down at her ring before looking at his own.

“Mine is dark green? What’s the meaning of it?”

“Means you’re feeling mixed emotions right now, in that case the ring can’t pinpoint any exact emotion so it turns a darker green.”

“And yours?” He responds glancing down at her ring, he nervously bit his lip, as he awaited her answer.

“Indigo.”

“What does indigo mean”

“Means I'm happy, that i'm at peace.” Jake's chest heaved a relieved sigh upon hearing those words, she was happy, and he didn’t care if it was because he had gotten her that ring or if it was because she was with him, all that mattered was she was happy.

The evening had gone by far too quick for him, she spent the entire day making him read different poems, showing him different arts and music pieces. They talked over dinner, both of them sharing their interests and talking about some of their favorite works and films that had cause their spark for the things they were so passionate about, and when they finally bid goodbye to one another Jake went home with a smile on his face while she herself went home with a feeling of dread. Before meeting Jake Poetry had been her only escape, of course she had her friends but they had their own lives of course, they couldn’t always be there when they had lives to live as well. Today with Jake had been so perfect, it wasn’t until she got home that she realized she didn’t want to leave him.

As she stepped into her home, the overwhelming sense of dread and immense sadness had overbared her. Broken glass crunched beneath her feet and the sound of yelling in a nearby room caused her to clamp her ears shut as she ran up the stairs to her room. You’d think she’d be used to it now, the constant screaming and yelling, the violently laced exchange of words between her mother and her father. She had been dealing with it since high school, so she couldn’t understand why now in her twenties she still couldn’t handle the way they talked to one another. She had no one, her little brother was never home and it's not like she wanted him to see her like this anyways, after all the oldest daughter was meant to bear all of it on her own. So she plugged her ears with her earbuds, hoping to drown out any sound of the ongoing fuss as she cried herself to sleep.

The prettiest of smiles hide the saddest of hearts

The next day she decided to lock herself in her room, it was a sunday. She should have been out and about, enjoying her day off before returning back to school, yet there she lay wasting away in her room, starving herself. Of course she couldn’t leave her room, she didn’t want to face either of them, she wished that they would just make it easy on everyone in the house and divorce but part of her also knew that that would hurt her too.

Jake on the other hand could only think about her and the previous night, he regrets not getting her number, because now he sat behind the bookstore counter wondering if she had as good a time as he did.

The next day when everyone had returned to campus Jake was quite surprised to see her joining him and his friends for lunch.

“Hi Jake. These are your friends right?” She flashes each of them a smile as she introduces herself to them. In all honesty every one of them had been quite shocked at the fact that she had been sitting at their table, it left them to wonder what exactly happened between her and Jake the day before that the two were now close.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“I’m all ears.”

“There's a film convention coming up at the end of the month and I usually get tickets early, I was wondering if you wanted to go? They're showing stealing beauty and since you like the book too I thought we could go together?”

Jake had frozen on the spot, she was asking him to a movie?

“Yeah- yeah I’d love that it sounds fun, i'll be there.”

For some reason she found herself letting out a relieved breath she didn’t even know she had been holding in. It would have been absolutely humiliating if he had rejected her in front of his friends.

The week had gone by pretty quick, a week in which she hadn’t had much time to think about her family because she had been drowning herself in school work, poetry club and none other than Sim Jaeyun. He became her rock, someone she found herself depending on whenever she felt overwhelming sadness or dread. Whether it was the two of them reading together, watching movies, or simply sharing interests it always tore her mind away from the dreadful things in life.

The two had become quite close, so close that it was obvious to any outsiders that the two had formed some sort of feelings for one another. If it wasn’t obvious enough, the handholding, whispering to one another, or her giggling whenever he smiled or looked at her would absolutely give it away.

As she struggles to place a book onto the top shelf Jake steps behind her, taking the opportunity to snake an arm around her waist and take the book from her hands, placing it up on the shelf himself.

“You know you could have just used the stool.”

“Then how would I have gotten you to come over and help me?” Her words earn a chuckle from Jake, who brushes her hair behind her ear as she turns to face him.

“I think I deserve some sort of reward for helping you put it up anyways.”

“Is that right?”

“Mm.” He hums, leaning in pressing her against the shelf as he presses his lips against her own.

“Please don’t fuck in here I don’t think the owner will be too happy with seeing that on the cameras” Soobin chimes in from down the aisle, causing the both of them to jump.

“Ah what did I tell you about yelling bin.” Jake complains, rubbing his head after having hit on the bookshelf, which only makes her laugh.

The two walked hand and hand to the ice cream parlor that was a mere two blocks away from the bookstore, him now owing the entire club ice cream all because he had indeed, fallen in love with not only poetry, but with her.

The month had gone by smoothly, and the closer the two had gotten, the more in love they fell with one another the worse things had gotten in her family. She had been on her way out when she heard the two of them screaming their lungs out in the kitchen, her mom throwing things as per usual. It was like she couldn’t get out of the house quick enough. Jake had been making his way to the door when she stepped out, she forced a smile on her face as she saw him approaching her with flowers in his hand.

“Hi beautiful.”

“Hello handsome.” He hands her the flowers before tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Are your parents working late again? I was hoping to meet them tonight but if they’re busy again then I guess I’ll just have to catch them another time.”

“They’re gone to my brother's game.” She lied, she hated lying to him but she refused to let him see how fucked up her family had been right now, she didn’t want him looking at her differently. The entire car ride she had been silent, seemingly lost in thought, that was when Jake realized that something had been off. He took her hand into his own, rubbing over her knuckles with his thumb before bringing it to his lips for a kiss, it was then that he realized the color of her mood ring was one he had never witnessed on her finger before, Gray.

“Sweetheart you know you can tell me if something’s bothering you?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“Your ring, whatevers stressing you out, whatever’s got you nervous, anxious you me you can tell me?” That was it, she shut down on the spot. It wasn't a lie she could lie to him; he had already known something was up by her silence and the color of her ring, but she couldn't bring herself to say a word.

How could she sit right here in the passenger seat of his car and tell him that she had been lying about her parents. How could she tell him that she’s always avoided the topic when he talked about making things official because she was scared. She was scared that this wasn’t really a romance, that she was only dependent on him to feel something other than sadness. That she was scared that if she really did love him; they would end up just like her parents. Before she had even realized tears had been streaming down her face and it sent Jake into an instant panic.

He immediately pulls up into the driveway of their destination and stops the car.

“Sweetheart, did I say something wrong? I’m sorry love i didn’t mean to-“

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry for what sweetheart, why are you apologizing?”

“For using you, for depending on you to make my shitty life not so shitty.”

“What are you talking about sweetheart you aren’t making any sense.”

“I’ve been lying to you Jake.” Her tearful eyes staring at him made him suck in a breath.

“My parents, the reason I never want you to come over or meet them is because they’re always fighting, they’re always down each other's throats, and it’s the reason my brother never even bothers to come home. I tried, I tried to be happy, you made me happy, but I- I’ve been relying on you like some sort of drug. I’ve been pretending all this time to be happy and cheerful, I’ve smiled when all I want to do is break down.”

“Why? Why didn’t you just tell me? Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“I just- I didn’t want you to look at me differently, to not like me anymore because I wasn’t the happy cheerful girl you met on campus.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks, though endless tears continued to fall he still wiped them nonetheless, holding her head in his hands he forced her to look at him.

“Why would I give up on you for something that’s out of your control? I’ve liked you for longer than I could remember, sat alone sometimes constantly overthinking if you would like me with all my own flaws and anxieties. How could I ever stop loving you or look at you differently for showing aspects that make you human. Your parents actions or words don’t define the person that you are, so what they do I don’t care.”

“Jake.”

“I don’t care, I love you, I fell in love with you and I’m going to love you through sad and happy moments, do you think I’m always happy? That I don’t sometimes feel the stress or dread of life just crushing me, it's part of who we are, part of who all of us are, and you aren’t using me. I’ve looked into your eyes many times, and it's not guilt or deceit that I’ve seen. You love me.”

“Jake I”

“Saying it won’t make me disappear, telling me you love me won’t drive me away, you love me.” There was an overbearing silence after his words. As scared as she had been the entire time to admit it to not him but herself, he was right.

“I love you.” Her voice cracks as she finally speaks the words aloud. Three words that made Jake's heart beat faster in his chest and he was finally able to feel some sort of relief hearing her say it.

“Don’t think about anything going on at home tonight, just be in the present.” He spoke softly, a loving undertone to his voice as he cleaned her tear stained cheeks.

“Let’s make sure that by the end of the night, your ring turns back to indigo.”

[froggiewrites]

Picture You (1/4)

Pairing: Sanji x Reader, Zoro x Reader

NSFW

Summary: The crew is celebrating their latest victory when they find you on their laps, drunk and clingy and affectionate, begging for attention. Sanji and Zoro both deal with a clingy drunk, and have deal with the unwanted feelings it brings from deep within them. Warnings: Masturbation, Self Loathing, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sanji has a praise kink, Hurt/Comfort (comfort in future chapters) Word Count: ~2k Notes: This chapter is just Sanji, next chapter will be Zoro's. Also this is in third person, which I know is kind of uncommon for reader inserts, but it felt right for this one! Crossposted from Ao3 Next Chapter

Sanji is in hell.

He thought this was heaven, this deck with these people, surrounded by warmth and love and women, as they drank and sang. It felt real and right in a way the rest of the world never had. Nami was laughing as she and Usopp swapped stories, and his angel...she had graced him with a smile that he swore stopped his heart. She was normally reserved, meek, so worried to draw attention, like she was afraid to live in the sun. He had always wondered what she would be like without fear, with reckless abandon, and now, a few drinks in, he has gotten to see it. She's giggly, overjoyed, and, most importantly, touchy.

He had brought her another drink, hoping to receive nothing more than a gentle smile and a quiet thank you, and she instead gifted him with something he couldn't even have imagined: her chest brushing against him, her hands on his chest, her face so close to his he could feel her breath as she whispered, “Thank you, Sanji.” 

She lingered, and he was frozen, face flushed, before slightly adjusting his hips back out of precaution. He didn't want to risk scaring her away, as her eyelids drooped and she gave him a pouty look he had often dreamed about. 

“You're so wonderful, Sanji, y'know that? So wonderful. And caring. And nice. And good.”

Her words were a little slurred. She didn't know what she was saying, but that was okay. Just to hear it, to feel her sincerity, even when misguided, was enough to bring a tightness to his chest. She thinks he's good. It cuts somewhere deep, somewhere he doesn't like to dwell, and he narrowly avoids his insides pouring out, a confessional to his goddess of all his sins, his wrongs, and his wish for acceptance. 

But he doesn't fall to his knees quite yet. He stays on his feet, and instead focuses on a different thought, wrong and dirty and surely a disappointment to her but one much easier to swallow: her voice, low and warm as it is now, whispering about what else he is. One phrase comes out above the rest, and he pulls his hips back a little further.

Good boy, her voice in his head whispers. You're doing so good, Sanji, you're making me feel so wonderful.

He swallows, tries to screw his head on right, but he subtly presses their chests together anyway. He can't help it. Her hands slide upwards, reaching to rest behind his neck. 

“I've missed you, y'know. You haven't come and sat with me all night!” Her smile is goofy and toothy, entirely unconcerned with how it might look. She doesn't smile like that often; he's privileged to see it.

Her mouth is doing something else in his mind.

He allows his hands to rest on her hips. He can repent later. 

“Oh yeah? You missed me?” His voice is deeper, and he prays it sounds cool and purposeful and not like he's trying to hide how unbearably horny he is right now.

“I did,” she chirps, leaning closer. He can feel every inch of her breasts, the ones he has tried so hard not to familiarize himself with despite how often his eyes would drift to them. His hands twitch, but he manages to resist the urge to grab them, to roll the nipples he can feel through her shirt through his fingers like he's imagining.

“I’ve missed you too, angel.” He leans closer, and he can see her pupils dilate as she bites her lip. In his head she continues to whisper such lovely things, more and faster and I love you, Sanji!, but he pushes them down. She's in front of him now, asking so nicely for his attention, and to wish for more is a sin he could never repent enough for.

“Will you stay? I want you to stay.” Her voice is nothing more than a whine, and the sound cuts right through him. She pulls him closer, their noses brushing, and if he didn't know better he would think she was about to kiss him.

“Anything you ask, angel.” She doesn't know how much he means it. She doesn't know how much he wants to be here, with her, against her, in her. She is everything, and he is nothing, but still she asks him to stay, as horrible and twisted and unworthy as he is. Even now, as his hands slowly slide down to her ass, she's asking him to stay. Does she not understand? Is she simply too good to understand how unworthy he is, they all are, to stand beside her?

He sits on the deck, pulling her down with him, long legs on either side of her. She begins to shift forward, and he feels his stomach drop with both fear and excitement. On the one hand, he's hard as a rock and she's about to feel it. On the other, he's hard as a rock and he's about to feel her. He's frozen, unable to figure out if he should stop her or not, and by the time his brain catches up she's already straddling him. Her chest rubs his, her plush thighs wrap around his hips, and her warmth rests so very close to his crotch.

Sanji quickly realizes this problem is going to be much worse than initially expected.

Her cold nose nuzzles his neck, and she whispers to him, “This is just as good as I thought it would be.”

She thought about him.

She thought about wrapping herself around him, sitting on his lap, not caring about the rest of the crew watching. She couldn't know the implications of this, his angel, his pure, sweet goddess. She can't understand what she's doing to him. She can't be thinking about how he can feel her nipples through her shirt, about how he can see right down it, about how her lips feel resting against his neck. She certainly can't be thinking about how his cock feels pressed against her inner thigh.

She shifts, and he can't repress the moan he lets out, quiet enough he thinks he might be lucky enough for her not to have heard.

“What a pretty sound.” Her voice is a purr, and he feels her lips brush against his neck.

Jesus Christ.

Her head shifts from his neck, and they're looking each other in the eye now. 

“You're so beautiful, Sanji, y'know? So pretty.” Her lips get closer. her thigh moves again, and he bites the inside of his cheek so hard it might bleed. She doesn't know, he insists to himself. She's just drunk, and innocent, and he's an evil and vile man for allowing it to get so far.

His hips jerk upward.

In his head, she's on a bed, pressed against silk sheets. Their hands are intertwined. Her face is twisted with pleasure, and he’s the one giving it to her. She's so lost in it she's near tears, little moans eking out of her mouth, and he is too much a gentleman to tease her, so they're growing louder with each and every thrust. She is around him, tight and warm and wet, holding him in because she wants him. She wants him there, with her and inside her, and he is there because he will give her anything she wants.

In reality, she is still obstructed by clothing, but he can almost feel a wetness against him. His imagination, surely. She's staring him in the eyes, her pupils blown wide from the alcohol, and she is near unblinking. She is doing the same in his head. She is looking at him. By god, she is looking at him, and she does not find him lacking. She is looking at him and she wants him.

Her thigh shifts again.

She whispers to him, “Y'know, Sanji, I really care about you. I don't think I say that enough. I really, really care about you.”

He manages to mostly choke down the sound, but he can't keep his hips still as they jerk into her clothed core. He feels the stickiness fill his pants, the warmth, the shame, but he keeps staring in her eyes all the same. She leans closer. He can feel her breath on his lips. He can feel her hands begin to slide down his body, as they very deliberately grab at his chest. And lower. And–

“I need to go.” He shoots up, practically shoving her off of his lap. He can still feel it, and worse, he's getting hard again just looking at her, as his brain continues to use her voice to say the most terrible, wonderful things. As it whispers again and again, 

I care about you, Sanji. 

Please stay, Sanji. 

I love you, Sanji. 

Sanji, Sanji, Sanji!

“But I–” He doesn't let her finish before he sprints below deck. God forbid she sees. God forbid anyone see. The rest of the crew were feet away. They could have seen, could have heard. Could know what a horrible, vile pervert he is.

He ignores how his pants tighten even further at the thought.

He slams into the bathroom, barely remembering to lock it behind him, before ripping his pants off. He looks down as his cock springs out, and he just barely remembers to feel shame before bringing his hand to wrap around it, still sticky. 

What a horrible man he is. How awful. How evil.

You're such a good boy, Sanji.

Maybe he is horrible. Maybe he really is a monster.

You're so good for me. So right.

No one would care for him, twisted as he is. Not if they knew better.

I love you, Sanji.

He cums again, tears running down his face, imagining a world where he deserves it. Where he is better. Where he is whole. Where she looks at him like she did on the deck, like she did in his dreams, and he feels no shame or bitterness for it.

He's quiet as he cleans himself up. He makes sure he gets it all, and he doesn't allow the thought of her tongue cleaning it up instead to take root. Instead he shoves himself back into his pants, filthy as they are, and makes his way above deck again, drinks in hand. He has to make up for this, for himself, for it all.

His eyes search for her, as they always do, and he nearly screams at the sight.

She's curled in Zoro's lap, face pressed into his chest, arms wrapped around his midsection. That wretched, bastard swordsman isn't even looking at her as he takes another drink, one arm wrapped around her protectively. It turns his stomach. It makes him want to cry. It makes the little voice in his head just a bit louder.

At least he isn't a monster.

At least he isn't using her for his own satisfaction.

His hands shake as he hands her her next drink, but she smiles at him anyway, unaware of what happened below deck. Unaware of the turmoil she's putting him through. Innocent, innocent, innocent.

She smiles at him, warm and kind and a little sleepy. “Thank you, Sanji. I can always count on you.”

And she can. No matter his sins, no matter what other horrible sickness plagues his mind, she can count on him. That has to count for something.

That night, he dreams of her thighs, her breasts, her lips. her voice.

I love you, Sanji.

He wakes up alone.

[asktheritochampion]

Soo... What's your true opinion on Teba, Tulin, and Saki? :)

Why are you so intent on ruining every half decent relation I have and obliterating my dignity in the process?

Tulin is the only Rito in the past hundred years who has been able to harness the winds as I can. Not only I am unbelievably proud of the kid, but this ability we - and only we - share, connects us. I wish to train him everything I know. I feel immensely protective of him and would give my very life to protect him – not that I wouldn’t for most people I suppose. I had a brother once by blood; Tulin is more of a brother to me than he ever was.

The wind connects our souls, and we are both her children.

Teba is the most phenomenal Rito Warrior I have ever met, past or present.

The intensity of his training is admirable, even to me. While he may never have mastered the skies, his archery skills are so advanced that I believe that if he didn’t hold back, he would defeat even me in a contest of skill – and that is not an assumption I would award lightly.

Not only is he an unmatched warrior but a wise and confident leader to our people, and an incredible father to his son. He is the Rito all men should aspire to be. I admire him so much that it’s embarrassing. I feel pathetically desperate to make him proud and I don’t even know why.

He told me once that he would be proud to call me a son and I’ve been in an emotional war with myself ever since; both wanting to cling onto my title as his worshipped hero from the past, but also crumbling beneath the childish desire to feel wanted and loved. The notion should be terribly patronising shouldn't it?! I’m the Rito Champion and an adult grown man - I do not need a father or a parent of any kind. So why am I incapable of thinking of him without calling him dad in my mind? Why is it that all I want is for him to tell me he's proud of me all the time?! Why do I need that?! What is wrong with me?!

Then there’s Saki.

Ever since I awoke from my passing, I feel as if I’ve been broken. Consumed with grief and regret, remorse and guilt and devastation. I lost everyone I ever knew, I never even got to apologise for failing them, it has been tearing me apart from the inside out. At first she took me into her home as a kindness, as most anyone would do when a Rito turns up without a roof over their head – but even during my very worst days, in moments where I’ve wished I could have remained dead, where I’ve been unable to eat or even rise from my hammock like a useless, pathetic fool, she’s been nothing but patient and kind to me.

From day one, she’s been treating me as if I were a beloved family member - even when at my lowest moments I’ve been nothing but rude or disruptive or downright pitiful. Nobody has ever given me that kind of endless, unconditional care, not even as a chick. I pretend to myself and to any who pry that my family died in some heroic battle, but I’m not dense, I know they left me behind because I was unwanted – that perhaps I was simply too much effort for too little gain. I’m constantly afraid that one day I’ll awaken and be asked to leave because I am simply too inconvenient - too rude and unpleasant, that I’m too intense to put up with – that somehow, despite being the best, that I’m still not good enough.

I could move out at any time really, it wouldn’t take long to build my own nest. But she...she smells and sounds like the vaguest memories of my own mother and being close to her makes me feel safe in a way I’ve never felt before and I just...I don’t know how to handle going back to not feeling like that anymore.

Everything is terrible and I just... want my mom.

…And thanks to you, the lot of them will likely never speak to me again after this mortifying admission.

Now if you don't mind, I need to go and hide under a rock and never show my face in the Village again.

[6/10 🧪✨]

[queervulturecreature00]

Shared Warmth

hi hi ! :3

dottore x gn! reader

sfw, fluff !!!, just me coping because I can’t feel my ears in this cold

u get cold and he helps !! just fluffy

≪ °❈° ≫ ———————-‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿———————-≪ °❈° ≫

The lab was always cold. A part that comes with having a sterile and bland workroom, it seemed. You were always cold. The lack of heating and insulation didn’t help either, the freezing air of ruthless winters seeping in through the cracks.

    When you visited him in the lab, it was usually because the man would overwork himself half to death. And of course, you had to be there to snap him out of it ! God knows how long he’d go without sleeping if you didn’t practically drag him to bed every once in a while.

     Today was one of those cold and overworking days. You were perched on a couch he had installed specially for you, lazily reading some book of his and watching him work on some new type of poison. He never understood why you would just sit and watch him work for entertainment, nor how you were content with this. But hey, it’s not like your company was unwanted.

      After about an hour of comfortable silence, save the occasional vial clanking and pages turning, you spoke out. “Dottie, it’s so cold in here…i’m freezing !” You exclaimed with a dramatic tone.

       He paused his writing and turned to you. Face changing from focus to slight amusement as he heard your complaints, he replied. “Dear, I always brought in a couch and a myriad of blankets. How in Teyvat and you still cold ?” He put a vial down and vaguely gestured to the stack of blankets surrounding you like a fort. 

      You merely replied with a huff before explaining. “Yeah…but we’re in Snezhnaya. In the winter ! How can you get used to this?”

       His small smile grew and a chuckle left his lips. “I’ve acclimated over decades, darling. It seems you simply are still used to the warmth of other nations.” He teased, now disregarding his work to focus on you. 

       You grumbled at the fact that he was right. He was always right. “Exactly, that’s why it’s so unfair. Not even a mountain of blankets can keep me warm.”

        He simply sighed lightheartedly at your remark, smile still present. “Darling, acclimation takes time.” He paused. “…My dear, come here for a moment, will you? I have a hypothesis.” Dottore questioned, lightly patting his thigh with a now sly smile. He always had a certain glimmer in his eyes when he was up to something.

      Skeptical, you questioned him, “…why? I don’t feel like getting dissected.” 

       He laughed, shooing away the idea, “dear, you know I would never hurt you. Without your consent.” He added the last part with a grin. “No, I merely had an idea on how to keep you from freezing.” His proposal was…interesting, you admit. Usually his experiments were more morally questionable than this. But hey, you chose to be with him, lay in your grave.

      He cleared his throat. “My dear, come. Must I repeat myself?” He almost reprimanded, though with no seriousness behind his tone. You mumbled a “coming”, before bookmarking your page in the book and leaving the comfort of the couch to come sit with- or more so on him. Adjusting yourself to comfort, you finally settled and relaxed on his lap.

      Dottore wrapped his arms comfortably around your waist, holding you close with no room to escape and resting his head atop yours. “Body heat, love, now you won’t need a mountain of blankets.” He went on about the specifics of this, and while you drowned it out, you felt he was right. You felt…quite warm. And comfy. As much as you were concerned in how he would do his work like this, you were much happier knowing his attention was on you solely.

       His chest pressed to you back waist help to his hips, and head warm from his breath. It was comforting. Unusual for him, but it seems he was feeling oddly wholesome today. You closed your eyes and cuddled up to him. Dottore noticed this with a chuckle, giving your forehead a kiss. 

      “Warm? I told you this would work.” 

       You huffed at the fact that he was right. He was always right.

     “Rest, dear, when you wake up I will be here, keeping you warm.”

—————══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══—————

[deepcollectionredbird]

It’s such a mind-fuck, seeing Rod’s dad — Mr.Smith — all big and pregnant. That man’s been like a second father to me, pretty much my whole life. I mean, I still remember the days when he’d pick me up from elementary school, and drop me off at my house. He watched me grow up.

All these years of me being best friends with his son, hanging around at their house… and, after the better part of a decade, I never would’ve thought that I’d ever see Mr.Smith pregnant.

Seems like just yesterday when he caught me sneaking back into Rod’s bedroom, after I’d given myself that pre-performance pep talk in the guest bathroom. It was the middle of the night, and Rod and I thought that everyone in the house was asleep. That’s what we were counting on.

His older sister had finally turned off her Bluetooth speaker, his parents were in their room, and his brother was away for the night. Everyone was where they needed to be, and Rod and I were about to… you know… do what all guy friends do, at some point or another. We assumed that we were in the clear — ready to try things out, for the very first time — but we were so wrong.

Little did I know that his dad was coming down the hall, on the way to take his mid-night pee. The one time that Me.Smith ever spotted me in the hallway at night — looking shady in my plaid underpants — and I was fully erect, holding a long sleeve of condoms in my hands. That was just my luck.

I still remember the look in his eyes when he dragged me by my ear into the den, and accused me of having ill intentions with with Rod. His pupils were almost glowing with anger as he whisper-scolded me. Rod’s dad told me that it was normal for guys our age to explore each other’s bodies, and that, whatever I was planning on doing to his son, I was going to have to do it to him first… without using a condom.

I don’t think I’ve never been more afraid in my life, than I was then. There I was, bending Mr.Smith over the back of the couch, and pushing his filthy tightly-whitey’s down to his thighs, all while trying avoid making too much noise. I guess he thought that it’d teach me a lesson… that topping him would get my dick to shrivel up and become a limp, useless flap of meat… but, he couldn’t have been more wrong. I mean, it was weird, dominating the only man in my life — other than my father — who’d ever taken me out for ice cream after my little league baseball games… but I was too scared to question how I felt about it.

Seeing the state of Mr.Smith now, I don’t know what’s worse — the fact that Rod’s about to have an unwanted sibling soon, after being the youngest child for eighteen years… or the fact that we’re dating now, and he has no clue that I’m the one who got his dad knocked up in the first place. Hopefully, the baby doesn’t look too much like me.

[d0youc0py]

Even when he wasn’t working his mask seem to haunt him. He wanted to be here with you- but every time he looked in the mirror he was pulled away. Red bumps littered his jaw and some even around his hairline. He had always struggled with acne, having the acne scars to prove it, but it seemed to be getting worse. He’d been in a hotter climate this last mission, the sweat and not being able to air out his face was taking its toll.

He felt so unattractive. He quickly figured out when you feel ugly- you act ugly.

“Sweetheart, open up.” Simon sighed, his hand knocking at the door to emphasize. You two had just gone out on your first date since he’s been back and he snipped at you the whole time.

“Fuck off!”

Ouch.

“Sweetheart.” He started again. The bedroom door finally swung open. His body tensed at your teary face.

“I don’t know what happened to you while you were out there, and god knows you won’t tell me, but you have no right to take it out on me. I’ve been waiting for you to come home for the past three weeks and what am I greeted with? Hostility. It’s like I can’t do anything right.” You sputtered, glaring up at him. His hand instinctively went up to wipe the tears away from your face. He had never been the best at comforting people, but he would do anything to get your tears to stop.

“You’re right.” He admitted. The glare left your face. He was usually much more stubborn- unless he knew he in the was wrong. You softened. “It has nothin to do with work, at least not in the way you think.” His hand went up to rub his jaw but he quickly stopped himself. “I just haven’t been feeling”- He paused. He brought his hand up and motioned to his jaw, turning his head to the side.

“Si.” You murmured. You had noticed a little flare in his skin, but you didn’t really process it. He was always so handsome in your eyes. Your fingers reached up and traced along his cheekbone. “I understand.”

“Shouldn’t take it out on you though, yeah?” He affirmed.

“No you shouldn’t, but I understand now.” You smiled softly, pressing a kiss to his chin. “You’re so handsome, you know.” You mumbled down his neck. He flushed, clearing his throat. “Do you want some help with it?” You offered.

His metabolism wasn’t what it use to be. Luckily the physical activity of his job kept away any unwanted pounds. That was until he was forced to go on medical leave and spend three months ‘taking it easy.’

He would be completely lying if he said he hadn’t enjoyed it though. Being home with you had been heaven- but a bit of hell on his waistline. He noticed it a bit, but he honestly didn’t think anyone else would. He was rudely awoken when he arrived back at base only to have Soap and Gaz poke fun at him. He knew it was all in good fun, but his first thoughts were about you. Had you noticed? If you did, how did you feel about it? He hushed his own thoughts figuring he would loose the weight out on the field. That was his second rude awakening. He had shed a few pounds, but a few stubborn ones remained poking out over his belt.

“How does Y/N feel about their new pillow?” Soap hummed, plopping down next to him. It had been like this for the past month.

“Sleeps like a rock.” Price grumbled.

“Didn’t know you knew what that was Cap.”

“Soap fuck off.” Ghost growled from across the aisle. “Fucking hell.”

The plane was quiet for a while after that.

John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one to be insecure, but this was striking a cord. He remembers being younger and overhearing his mother gossiping in the kitchen about the neighbors.

“Alice has gained so much weight. She’s just gotten married too! Couldn’t imagine already letting myself go like that.”

Letting himself go.

That’s what it was. He didn’t want you- or anyone to think that he had ‘let himself go.’ That it was no longer important to him if you had found him attractive. That the two of you had been married for a little over a year so he could just give up. He shook himself out of his thoughts again.

•••••••••

He couldn’t even get through the door by the time you were on him.

“Welcome Home.” You smiled, pressing kisses to anywhere you could reach. He chuckled, leaning into you. He placed one arm under your bottom lifting you up to him. He dropped his duffle bag at the door kicking the door closed behind him.

“I missed you.” He murmured kissing you back just as desperate. He plopped down on the couch, settling you tightly in his lap. All was right in the world till your hands started to wander.

“You get hurt again?” You questioned after he flinched. Your hands went to pull up his shirt to inspect the damage. He stopped you. “John?” You questioned softly. He tangled his hands with yours.

“You know I have a tendency to be a bit old fashioned.” He started. You pressed your brows together.

“John I’ve seen you naked before.”

“No, love.” He chuckled. “I’ve gained a bit of weight and back in my day that was more scandalous than adultery”-

“You know I don’t care about that.” You interjected.

“I know, that’s what makes this whole thing ridiculous. It’s just something I’ve found out about myself, something that I need to work through.” He sighed, pressing a kiss against your forehead.

“Does this mean I can’t touch you?” You mumbled, fiddling with his shirt collar. He quickly shook his head.

“Course not.” He whispered.

“Johnny, you’re being too loud.”

That sentence had been replaying in his head like a broken record. You didn’t mean anything by it. You were just keeping him in check. Yet he could feel your embarrassment. The heat rising to your cheeks. The panic in your voice. The way you gave total strangers an apologetic smile when they turned your way. He had always been a naturally loud talker. Growing up with five siblings in a small two bedroom apartment was to thank for that. The fact that he had been around explosives for the past eight years didn’t help either.

“Johnny?” You tapped his arm. His eyes fled from the small paper bowl of ice cream to you. “You okay? You’ve been so quiet since we’ve left the restaurant.”

He couldn’t stop a dry chuckle. He grabbed the small bowl, shoving a spoonful in his mouth.

“ ‘m fine.” He mumbled. You sighed leaning across the table gripping his hand with yours.

“Jo.” You pressed again, flashing him your undeniable puppy eyes. He gave your hand a small squeeze.

“Sorry for the way I was at the restaurant.” He grumbled.

“What?” You asked, leaning forward again.

“I said, I’m sorry for the way I was at the restaurant.” He repeated. Your brows furrowed. Suddenly it hit you. Your hand left his and clamped over your mouth.

“No, no, no, Johnny.” You said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. Well I did- but”- You cut yourself off. You rubbed your forehead. Your hands reached out again tangling yours and his together. “I’m sorry I made you feel bad. That wasn’t my intention. I just know you sometimes forget your own volume.”

He gave you a small smile, pressing a kiss to your knuckle.

“I know Bonnie. I just don’t like embarrassing you.”

“We’re just so different in that way Jo. My parents were so strict about how loud I was- especially in public. It’s just a stupid habit I have, but I should never expect you to follow it.” You smiled softly. He smiled back at you, the sparkle returning to his blue eyes.

“I should still work on it though. Don’t want to blow your eardrums out, then we’ll both be shouty.” He chuckled.

“You hate it when I do this don’t you?” You hummed.

“I’m still not use to it.” He sighed, using his thumb to run small circles against your hip. He shivered as your fingers traced over another long stretch mark on his back. He mumbled something and pulled you closer, your body almost completely buried underneath his.

It was no secret Konig was tall. Along with that height came stretch marks. Mostly on his lower back and calves, some even under his arms. Some had faded, a small ridge in his skin to show they were still there. Others were a deeper pink- more noticeable.

“Everybody has them Konnie.” You mumbled, pressing a kiss under his jaw.

“I know.” He purred out as you massaged a small kink out of his back. Truth be told he didn’t really care about them either- until the locker room. That’s when he noticed how excessive his seemed. He had carried that feeling for a while, it wasn’t until he met you did he become more comfortable with it. You had showed him your stretch marks and he saw how pretty they looked on you. He slowly began to figure out that if he thought they looked nice on you, then you probably felt the same way about his. He still tenses when you touch them, his eyes darting to yours for any sign of insincerity. He’s always met with love and want. Just the thought of it causes a flutter in his stomach.