#until then I will enjoy my life
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morning routine
#idk man artblock has me in a chokehold#max caulfield#victoria chase#chasefield#maxine caulfield#lis#life is strange#if i don't get more victoria content in double exposure i will riot#until then here they are enjoying each other's 'company'#my art#my sketch#art#wlw#suggestive#cw suggestive#maximum victory
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Behold ye, my Protoframe oc, Darius.
(Ft @doggojin and @thatfluffyboi's Chanho n Sol, they make an delightful trio tbh)
Some extra deets (lots of notes on him be warned) post cut! :)
Separated into physical and psychological/lore.
Physical notes :
Spanish-Mediterranean, mid-to-late twenties, looms at a ridiculous 6'6" (200 cm I believe? around there.) but is normally hovering an inch or two off the ground. Thankfully, he's gotten into the habit of tucking his legs in a bit so he doesn't hit every single doorframe that he passes through. He lost his left leg from the knee down due to an unfortunate incident with a landmine, and had a prosthetic for several years before the techrot.
Darius's body is made up of connected pieces held together by sentient energy, and all of his organs have either been replaced by the techrot-sentient hybrid growths, or are no longer necessary and have been removed. He currently lacks the entirety of a regular digestive tract as we would know it, and subsists mostly on energy. However, should he require physical mass for either rebuilding/modifying himself, or creating other sentients, he can 'eat' by putting materials in his mouth, pulling his bodily pieces together, and allowing the techrot systems to dissolve things into more workable particles, or pushing things between separated segments of his body (usually his chest) and letting the sentient bits pick things apart and feed them to the rot for storage. (This takes longer and is less effective at energy conservation) Extra notes on this later when we discuss his abilities.
The connective energy between segments is manifested in string-like bundles of force, which are manipulatable and can be 'touched', though unless he's focusing on keeping his energy properly contained you will likely get a light zap, and with prolonged touch you'll likely be able to feel them hum with power. They normally have about the same tactile strength as woven spiderwebbing of the same thickness, stretching easily but ultimately severable with either enough effort or something sharp. Should you sever all the connections, the piece will just fall off. Removed pieces aren't controllable by him any longer, but are re-attachable, and although he's got a body plan that his form defaults to, every single bit of him is entirely modular except for his cranium. Removing his jaw takes some effort, as there are technically still segments of flesh (his lips, basically) holding it on, but it is possible. If he really puts his mind to it, though, he can remove a segment, and maintain the links through mental focus, or by tethering them to something that he/they can feed off of. Through this, he can make replacement limbs for others, or additional armor, given they've got the bio-energy to keep the segments active.
Bodily segments are almost entirely made of toughened armor plating, with the majority of flexibility being located on the twin pieces that make up his chest/torso, as this is also where the majority of the techrot based organs lie. Although he does need to breathe, each segment intakes oxygen individually, through the softer and more porous dark insides. He has full sensation in any piece of him that he's linked to, as the energy connections serve as a nervous system, and can 'digest' pieces if he's in desperate need of energy/materials in a pinch.
Being modular, he can, in the same way he summons other sentients, simply craft himself differing body parts whenever he so pleases. The larger the piece, the more effort/thought it takes, since it requires a greater complexity of systems for nutrient, oxygen, and waste management. Due to his own lack of knowledge, he doesn't manifest any replacements larger than his own legs, and would rather just spit out a patch and slap it onto injured areas and let the techrot do its thing. This is why his 'armor' looks less dramatic compared to actual caliban, because why the hell would he want that much weight throwing him off balance? He'll accept the techrot/sentient's desires and keep his form adjacent to it, though.
Ability wise, he's functionally pretty similar to a vampire. While he technically could subsist entirely off of regular food, it would require a lot of time and careful dieting to gather the proper resources his body needs, and his energy levels would be rather constantly low. So, instead, he just eats as much techrot as he can and prays for the best, or drinks directly from power generators when he can get away with it, or anything similar. Pure energy as a baseline keeps all his sentient systems running, and metals/proteins allow his techrot systems to keep going. Thankfully for him, he's got two boyfriends who are both quite energetic, and really don't mind his needs as much as they should.
Manifesting sentient fighters usually happens in the same way as he manifests new pieces of himself, but with the added caveat that they don't need functional internal systems for long term usage, and he can charge them up with his own power to keep them running as long as he needs. This is obviously extremely resource intensive, but if it keeps those he cares about safe, (and since it appeases the eternal need to consume and create and consume and create and consume and create) he'll do whatever he must.
Due to all of the above, he prefers particularly tight or comfortable clothing,, as it helps mitigate the changes that happen depending on his energy levels. The less he's got, the looser his pieces, and things will just fall off if he's dead tired (lol). So... Avoiding that is nice. Additionally, although he needs his chest cavity within reach for making sentients at a quick notice, he does like looking in the mirror and not seeing his own body immediately as so blatantly inhuman and monstrous. The straps he uses for his military harness are half to hold things and half to straight up just keep himself together. The mask is for keeping his eyes clear of gore while he's in the middle of shit, because that was a severe issue beforehand. Take a bite, get blinded bc there was more fluid than you expected, have to panic and try and fix that mid combat, leaving you even worse off than you were previously? No thanks.
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Psycological notes and lore:
Before Entrati got his hands on him, he was a well respected mediator that worked on communications for the ICR, and worked directly with the Hollvanian government and its military to allow for the ICR to remain in the city.
Coming from a well off and well expecting background, from a young age he was put through his paces and taught to be the finest edition of a modern renaissance man, giving him very little time to do anything but his studies, and very little affection from anything but perfection. Even then, kinda mid. As such, he is a well mannered and well spoken fellow with a deeply repressed childish nature that only ever comes out at the worst possible times amidst the best possible company.
Having been tailor-made for communications work, he was also ensured a healthy dose in very many other skills that might come up from time to time while traveling. (Including, but not limited to, sewing (which he hates), cooking (which he has extremely low patience for), midwifery (which thank god hasn't come up yet), medical triage (unfortunately has), general electrical and mechanical knowledge (much better for him now than it was before), a few languages, and so forth. Post becoming a protoframe, much of his knowledge has degraded due to the changes required for his brain to be able to control his bio-energy, leaving him constantly irritated when faced with a challenge that he knows DAMN well how to deal with, but cant remember specifics on.
He deals with irritation and anger very expressly, not one for subtlety or sarcasm when it comes to his displeasure. This man will Not be the one making snide jabs across the table, he would instead pull you aside privately and explain quite logically the behaviors he's disliking and see if either an agreement can be reached or if another specialist should be put forth. A trait learned from his parents, no doubt, but also one that helps considerably when it comes to governmental relations and respect.
All of his emotions are generally delt with highly logically, which, when it comes to more positive or soft feelings, gets very awkward and confusing for him very fast. One might find have found him before sitting on a bench, staring up at the falling leaves. If you asked him what he was thinking about, he'd respond that he's trying to comprehend why exactly he should be feeling happy about witnessing something so mundane. He wouldn't leave, of course, he'd still watch, but there will always be a part of him that shies away from emotions as a whole. All the sweeter, imo, when he really starts feeling and letting himself feel. Love is a strange thing, isn't it?
During his time in Hollvania, he got infected through volunteer work, doing his best to actually be helpful past the eternal red-tape. He hid it for as long as he could, taking extra care to frequently wash, scrub down, and then properly bandage and ointment up the affected bits of his arms so he wouldn't risk spreading anything, but it didn't do much for him at all. He was needed to maintain good relations, often running intermediary briefing dialogues to keep both sides as up to date as possible on the ICR's doings, so duty really did pull him in half. (haha) As the rot progressed and claimed more of his body, leaving him weaker and more frequently ill, it was less and less ethically feasible for him to keep working, despite it more or less being the only thing he really knew how to do, and there being very few people who could replace him. If he wasn't doing something, if he wasn't being productive, solving problems, keeping people happy, then what was he?
And then he heard of a man with a miracle cure, our good old Doktor Friday, and the fact that it worked. Naturally, Darius paid him a visit, already having used his infected status as an excuse to let him do a bit more hands on assistance wherever he could. And Entrati indeed did give him a cure, listening and nodding along to all the reasons Darius gave as to why he would likely be a good test subject, especially if it meant that if it worked, Darius would be in an excellent position to grant Albrecht significant funding for expanding his cures to the greater populous, who needed them desperately.
Well, it sure didn't fucking do much, did it, leaving him visually better, but when word got out that the others who'd taken the cure had become super-spreaders, you bet your ass he started panicking immediately. He'd been in rooms for extended periods of time with everyone in command, just his presence might have been enough to entirely destabilize the local government, or absolutely gut the ICR. So, once more, he claimed a stomach illness to take some time off. This was a very big problem, so back he went, livid as all hell, to hunt down Entrati.
He got the whole spiel about unforeseen mutations within the techrot responding strangely, and although he didn't believe it, he already had nothing left to lose. He wasn't a soldier, sure, he had training in fencing, could handle a gun, but he couldn't help like the others could, and he could not go back to the one thing he'd been set up all his life to be. And Entrati had a bit of a twinkle in his eye when he said that there might be something that he could do, but it would take time, and multiple tests, to be able to make it all work. There was another strain Dr E was experimenting with that, as he was shown samples and heard the explanations, seemed to be able to nullify the techrot almost entirely. (It was actually just subsuming it, but visually, the two outcomes were nearly identical.)
So he said yes. Like a fucking idiot.
The initial dose laced him with the helminth strain, preparing his body, granting him strength, even though it hurt so very much, the pain leaving him borderline insensate, unable to do anything but lay there and cry as he felt his very flesh twisting and saw Entrati approach with the second dose after a few hours.
Number two was a low dose of the sentient strain, modified, following Caliban's biological approach, and the reaction between the two was violent, techrot subsumed with a rapid hunger and made to serve a new master. Darius's body quite literally began tearing at the seams, and Entrati took his time with the process, utilizing several more small injections, so he wouldn't die of pure blood loss.
When all was said and done, his twisted body was held together by a scant few threads of power, and he was very much unconscious, having fallen into a coma that would last multiple days, fed with an occasional battery set into the new cavity within his chest.
Wisely, Entrati was not there when he awoke, starving, terrified, and in great pain. All he could focus on was the hunger, that pulsating desire that screamed at him to consume, create, consume, create, consume, create, his human mind utterly overwhelmed by the twin techrot and sentient desires. It took him some time to figure out how to move again, much less walk, and the hunger only got worse by the second.
When the Hex found him, they came across a crying, shattered man, tearing into mounds of freshly killed techrot with his bare hands, stuffing wires and flesh alike into his mouth with an inhuman voracity. He was guarded by bizarre automatons, whos' origin was quickly made apparent by him reaching into that glowing gash that bisected his entire body and pulling out another, his own form splitting and reshaping as he dragged it free.
It took quite some time for him to regain his humanity. Quite some time to mediate the new desires of his reformed body with his own. The urges have not left him, but at least he's got a choice, now.
Prince of both worlds indeed.
#warframe#warframe 1999#oc art#warframe art#also if you lean in real close and whisper 'balls' during an important meeting#you will watch him struggle to maintain his composure for the entire time until he can leave for a few moments to laugh about it#I dont go overboard with my ocs I'd never#hes just a silly lil guy!#There's more little tidbits of sub-lore that I'd add on if I wanted to double the length of this post#but they're also all super unorganized and would fit better as like a bullet point list#its all shit like#'he actually really loves spicy foods#and is immensely glad that his tongue still works like a tongue'#'he really likes pigeons#and takes every opportunity he can to bring seeds with him in one of his pouches#just in case.'#and 'yeah he can make himself *any* thing he wants#He's only missing what he used to have for about 5 seconds and then he's got custom made variants'#there is some shitpost art that I cannot post on tumblr about him going wayy overboard with that particular power#500 cigarettes style yk#and his ass is absolutely a switch#he enjoys having the control#but he also enjoys *not needing to manage things* for once in his life too#Also yes#you can pull a tf2 medic and keep him as just a head#wouldnt recommend it and he would NOT like it but like you COULD
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i'm in tears. do you know how beautiful this subversion of expectations irt death is to me. do you even understand how important it is. she's all warmth and love, always surrounded by vibrant displays of life - rather than the expected wither and decay. because death is not the antithesis to life: it is life. they are a part of each other. saying goodbye is always hard, but you have to let everything go, eventually. it's okay, it's not a punishment, it's not scary, it's not lonely - it's one last well-earned rest. releasing your borrowed energy back unto the universe so it can feed a new budding life, starting the cycle anew. and she's here to hold and cradle you until you're ready to go. you lived well. you were loved. sweet dreams, okay?
#IDK like#fear of death petrified me when i was younger and i spent an absurd amount of time agonizing over the concept#ironically wasted away a good number of my middle and high school years because i was just scared all the time#doing a lot of introspection and Thinking and realizing death is not something to fear was a weight off my shoulders#and it gave me a proper appreciation for life#hard to appreciate the delicate nature of your existence if you're too focused on what could end it#and yknow just. it's really nice. to see depictions of Death within stories that have positive connotations#castorice carries an air of grief but that's the nature of goodbyes. she's not bitter or cruel about it#it can be so hard to lay someone/something down to rest one last time but they've earned it. let them go#and continue on with your life. carry their memories forward with you until it's your turn to join them in that eternal sleep#don't rush. don't go seeking it out. enjoy how precious and fragile this universe is. never become apathetic to the beauty of life#that's what castorice embodies. and it's really . really lovely to see. ok :')
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some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao
theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.
pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?
also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there
other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there
sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3
#alloyart#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#pacifica northwest#i dont think pacificas 'aesthetic' changes much apart from she allows herself to be more casual now bc she has less 'standards' to uphold#shes still learning what she actually ENJOYS. because shes had her whole life dictated by her parents up until now. its slow going#its funny how in my 'carrying on from canon' au/timeline basically everyone tries to become a nicer or better person#pacificas parents are not included in this tho. fuck em lol. she does NOT have contact with them if she does not absolutely HAVE to.#and having a pal who knows a lot of criminals is actually comforting. gids puts the wall of muscle between her and her parents#they got that upper-middle class solidarity goin on#anyway. sorry this is a fuckin wall of text. like i said ive got SO many headcanons ive not posted publicly#Talk To Me About Gideon Charles Gleeful [i am gripping my desk very tightly]#(in all seriousness if you ever want to hear more uh. idk. send me an ask or something. ask me about headcanons. i'll be happy)
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The Until Dawn cast and Mario Kart Wii... I pondered very long and very hard about this question... and return bearing real and true answers (headcanons and rambles ⬇️)
Beth: Insane MKWii goddess. Grew up on the game and played constantly. Put lots of time into learning a handful of ultra shortcuts and sometimes pisses everybody off by using these just for fun. The group can count on one hand the amount of times she hasn't gotten 1st. Can efficiently use any controller, but prefers the Wii classic controller. Put crazy time trials on every single track that remain unbeaten to this day. Not that Josh would ever beat them even if he could. She'll always be remembered through the ghosts she left. Josh has thought about booting the game up just to drive around with her again but... hasn't
Hannah: Prefers coin runners to racing. Peach main as soon as Beth became a Daisy main (matchies) chose the prettiest vehicle and is sticking with it <3 didn't play nearly as much as her siblings but did spend many hours watching both Beth and Josh grind glitches/time trials and stars. Wii wheel user!
Josh: Really good at this game. He can get fiercely competitive too, depending on who else is playing. Otherwise he's chill. Played almost as much as Beth did- and spent hours and hours trying to get stars on every cup to unlock Dry Bowser. He refused any help from Beth and celebrated for a week when he finally did it. Prefers how Jr feels to play and breaks him out when he's feeling particularly competitive but otherwise sticks to Dry Bowser because he's not letting that effort go to waste. Changes controller based on who he's racing, to "make it easier for you". Prefers the GameCube controller
Sam: Rarely ever places below 4th. She also grew up on this game through the Washingtons and has lots of fond memories spending sleepovers with it and the siblings. She's very humble, and doesn't usually say anything when getting 1st. She grins though (Josh loves that grin). Always down for battle mode! Plays with the Wii remote + nunchuck
Chris: Winning the custody battle over Rosalina with Emily. Usually when Em is also playing he doesn't get first dibs. So he goes Waluigi and mimics him every time he has a voice line. Funny at first but now it drives everyone (except Josh who joins in) insane. More and more often Em lets him have Rosalina just to spare herself from the constant Waluigi impressions. He's either really good or really bad depending on the tracks and typical MKWii luck. Goes for super fast vehicles with like no other good stats and either flies through courses and has super easy victories or has the worst time and comes dead last. Uses the GameCube controller
Ashley: Bad luck magnet. Hit by every shell. Trips on every banana. Once she used a bullet while over a gap and it just carried her into the abyss instead of saving her. She hasn't let this go and it happened 2 years ago. Vibes with Toadette and chooses her in any game she's an option. Also prefers coin runners and is usually content to just watch the others play. Another Wii wheel user!
Emily: Losing the custody battle over Rosalina with Chris. Goes with Birdo as an alternative. Is arguably even better when playing her. She was immediately amazing the first time she played. Gets really really competitive and Beth and Josh love the challenge and the intensity that comes with Emily's gloating and high confidence. Doesn't play the game outside of when at the Washington's but knows a good few shortcuts and tricks because she spent hours looking into it when she got home to ensure victory in the future. Plays with the Wii classic controller
Matt: Likes balloon battle and always pushes for team racing. Pretty average player. His character/kart combo is so light that he often gets bumped onto the off-road and pits, but he refuses to change. That's just a little guy right there in his little car! Something Matt appreciates. Really really insane on Rainbow Road for some reason. While being a Wii wheel user! Beth and Josh don't get how that's possible and hype him up every time
Mike: (Unknowingly at first) uses the best character/kart combo. Still gets 6th or lower 74% of the time. Always really cocky for some reason. Uses the plain Wii remote without the wheel (where is your whimsy, Michael?)
Jess: She got 1st once and brings this up any time anyone makes fun of her for hitting every possible obstacle. Still usually does better than Mike and is super vocal while playing, commenting on everything that happens. Wii remote + nunchuck
#until dawn#until dawn headcanons#my headcanons#my stuff#beth washington#hannah washington#josh washington#sam giddings#chris hartley#ashley brown#emily davis#matt taylor#mike munroe#jessica riley#it is so fun to make these characters play and enjoy what I played and enjoyed...#imagine them all playing this in the movie room omgg THE VIBES#i have unlocked the power of making headcanons and it feels SO GOOD!!! I am having the time of my life!!!
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Things are starting to get awkward hehe
Part 5 of of Holmes' collage adventures
Chapter 1: part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 Masterpost (Index) AO3
#uh so not to write a tag essay on my reading of holmes' sexual/romantic orientation: he is on aroace spectrum#but i think not fully impervious to men's influence#but at this point of his life i think he is mainly confused xD he yet gotta sort it out#my art#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#victor trevor#canon holmes#sherlock holmes fanart#holmes collage adventures#i wasn't joking when i said I need to draw them daily#well at least until i finish this mini-series#let's just say i didn't try to hold my hyperfocus back and i am letting myself spend awful amount of hours daily on these#anyway i hope you're enjoying my scribbles#(poor holmes didn't even get to try his drink)#tw alcohol#tw drinking
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#spheal#i wish i could post circular images on tumblr. because this one is deserving of a fully circular PNG. i could technically just take a#regular square image and then make the edges transparent to make it *effectively* a circle‚ but like… would that appeal?#if that would appeal then i'll do it. i don't think it would be *too* prohibitively hard. i would be willing to make an addendum#with a circular transparent image of spheal staring at the screen if enough of you want it. either way#this guy rolls everywhere and i think tumblr is gonna like that. i feel like this is gonna end up being a well-liked pokémon amongst tumblr#as in. i feel like. it already is. because. of how it is. i just don't know bc spheal isn't like. one of my favorites#it's cute don't get me wrong but it's just not one i think about all the time. it's one that i'll like if prompted but not unprompted#i'm gonna stop before i dig myself into a hole. i beat totk finally. it was very good and i honestly had way way more fun with it than i did#with botw. i have my criticisms obviously. it's not perfect it's not pmd. but it was very good. and now i've moved onto the next game in my#backlog. which is very long but i'm steadily working through it. hopefully i can get it done before i graduate this december and stop having#any time for the rest of my life ever forever to play video games. dreading that day. but uh#until then i will game. and hang out with my friends. and go on tumblr. and do all these things i like to do. until i no longer can#wow this got depressing i'm gonna Stop here. enjoy spheal
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releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#she couldn't even enjoy herself once she gets into the decent university because she got sent to the corps sayeon lee my giiirl#SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF VALEDICTORIAN BECAUSE SHE WAS CONSCRIPTED 😭#bro she's built like those kids in school who dump social interaction the moment exam season comes around#she's built like and earned that first honours fr.#but the corps said nah so she did the one thing those kids do make life even HARDER for themselves#even if in context it's no even hard it's just a matter of survival in the corps so success is the only option lest you die#hj reminds me of kaiji a lot with how they handle this but they're like two different genres but i digress#so she created TWO short term goals that forced her to hammer down her if not reinforce her previous values/beliefs#and if you read fp or wait until this tuesday lemme tell you rn it gets worse#which force her back into her shell and wall she's built#which is fucked up bc juni's wall is coming down when cell 4 didn't die as quick as she'd thought and surpassed her expectations#sayeon try not to be any characters narrative foil/parallel challenge fail 1000% speedrun#this only gets worse in fp and while this was in my drafts since the morning#i will say i literally just had a conversation abt this with my g bigbrainmanyvibes before prematurely leaving for lunch#but i set an alarm to actually post all the memes i made here so imma do this one now then the rest later#JOIN THE HJ DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAY EASIER TO USE!!!!![to me......]#PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that's it for my obligatory plug for the hj discord you can stop reading now i you haven't already stopped because i make this thing a diar#anw GLORY TO SAYJIN NATION!!!!!!!!!
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I call these the Atsushi sillies.
| FISH TANKer's only / 2008 / TO-SEARCH
#buck tick#atsushi sakurai#sakurai atsushi#櫻井敦司#jrock#this is all I was missing from my life the past few weeks tbh#i love staying awake until 7am for this sillies#these are not great quality anyways cuz I don't have the brain to care#but enjoy some fun moments#we all need that rn ig 🫠🫠🥰#btw to search is underrated#its one of my faves from the older songs#its simple but great
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Ok but only A Series of Unfortunate Events could open with such a good quote every episode like ‘Darling, Dearest, Dead’ goes SO hard wtf…
#This show is so good…. I need to rewatch it all again#I started rewatching it but forgot to watch the rest of it LMAO#a series of unfortunate events#WHEN WE MET MY LIFE BEGAN SOON AFTER YOURS ENDED??? girl I’m THROWING UP#beatrice as a character is SO interesting due to you never seeing her at all until the very end#All you know is that she’s dead like AGWJSHSJSHSJS#Ok Not all of the quotes are sad I actually really enjoy the funnier ones lmfao#Like ‘No one could extinguish my love. or your house.‘ AGJSHSSJHS ☠️☠️☠️😭😭😭😭#asoue#Sighs I should read the books rip#Ok but this show has so many good quotes like what the fuck
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Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.
Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)
The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].
Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”
Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.
Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.
The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the “perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.
The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.
#I’ve got some horrible little headcanons rattling around tbh#Dutch and Hosea have different methods and demeanours but truly are partners in crime not only in the literal sense but also are#one another's accomplice in how they raised/treat John and Arthur.#I think that Hosea gets let off the hook a little too easy and I really enjoy thinking about the implications of his behaviour on the boys#just as much as I enjoy analyzing that of Dutch.#Also??? The way that Arthur seemed to die not realizing this adds layers to it in my head. John had all that time to mull it over and think#after all that had happened with the gang throughout his life and I'm CERTAIN he did a LOT of thinking about when exactly Dutch's#true colours started to shine through over the years... so I'd say its safe to assume that he did a lot of thinking about the pair of them.#I want to know if he is capable of thinking fondly about Hosea in spite of this because he has been dead for a long time#Or does he hold a grudge against him even post-mortem? John at least got to have a conversation with Dutch and see exactly what he's become#I wonder to what extent that perfect image he had of Dutch being tainted caused him to see things clearer than#Arthur was ever given the chance?#Arthur died not knowing but I think John might have the tendency to ruminate on it in the years that followed.#I wonder what conclusions he came to about his life up until that moment while sitting alone in the aftermath.#Was he afraid? Did he even want to unpack all that? To potentially ruin every good thing he'd ever had just because Dutch went off the rail#in the end? If so... what would he have left if it turned out that nothing was ever the way it seemed?#red dead redemption 2#the curious couple and their unruly son#dutch van der linde#hosea matthews#arthur morgan#john marston#red dead meta#paisley.txt
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Started a new job/internship today!! I have my own little cubicle!? You have no idea how excited I am to decorate it!! But my queue will be dwindling down and let’s just hope I don’t vanish because Simblr is actually fun for me again. T-T
#Non Sims#My sister and I are planning#a trip to South Korea#I’m excited to work towards that!#I am excited about office life ngl!#I’ll only be here until May#so I’m going to make the most of it!#I am also really enjoying sims#and have lots of plans!!#Things are good!#Let’s hope I can strike a nice balance!
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seeing people be like oh seungmins mv is gonna be so sad and im like......... i dont think so
#emotional sure but people seem to be taking it as 'his real dream that he never achieved'#the guy himself has said he didnt touch baseball until he found singing bc hes now happy doing this so he can enjoy baseball too#i mean it would be funny if the vid was like damn i wish i was doin baseball and not this. fuck my baka idol life but i dont think so#also he turns and runs in the opposite direction from the baseball team when he puts his earphones in.... have we heard about symbolism
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lieutenant jones in mad men as a priest… people talk about whatshisface talk show host in bob but i was literally not prepared for colin hanks in mad men
#my blog is so dead bc social life is in full fucking swing idk#I MISS MY BOB HOLE SM#idk why im putting these in the tags but whatever#holding out on press gang and fics and posts until i am in Complete BoB Focus#in the meantime enjoying all the quiet time in an uber watching mad men and relishing every second of it
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obey me unironically is the only game that i ever felt comfortable enough to play tbh so that sucks considering i dont really feel like i have alternatives
#i mean i did really enjoy the arcana and last legacy though those games opened the doors to my isekai obsession bc#i felt so comfortable playing those too#but obey me is like…. something so different#because it didn’t have specific routes and i loved that#ugh!!!#straying from the binary is great until you have to experience life with other people and live#squawking 🪶🐦⬛🦴#also i know other people have said this but i also wanted to voice how i feel as well#just to have it here for me#i’m too gay for this world 💔
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btw, these are pretty messy, but they get the job done if you need a stock for Qiu and Baxter's sweaters 😂 I know my ass was getting pretty sick and tired of doing that shit from scratch every picture 🤣
#qiu lin#olnf qiu#baxter ward#ol baxter#our life#our life now and forever#stock#I know it's pretty late in the prompt week already#sorry#tbh I didn't make them until the other day#like an idiot#my life could have been SO MUCH EASIER#BUT I AM A FOOL#anyways#enjoy lmfaooo
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