#until the color fades | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bibururokku · 2 months ago

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Tysm for your time doing the matchup, my dear birthday buddy!!! You really spoiled me with the addition of the one-shot!

Although I can’t say I didn’t see this result coming, I was certainly in denial over the possibility. I swear Kaiser puts me through four stages of grief as a character because he’s so commonly agreed upon as a red flag, and I know we share similarities. This matchup was like the final nail in the coffin for me to resign to the fifth stage of acceptance because this seems to be an unavoidable fate at this point LOL

My unfiltered thoughts/reaction is UTC, btw. i just formatted it a little for a bit of organization. I don't recommend you or anyone else to read through it because it's chaotic, but if you or anyone else wants a laugh or is really curious, then go for it??? I just did it for fun because, by the time I actually saw and was able to read through this, I had just gotten back from an event and was absolutely tired and thought it’d be funny to see my exhausted, long-winded thoughts wwwww

—Oh! oh, no... it's Micha. I'm screwed; Denial is not just a river in Egypt, ueueue...

Pardon granted, but also, wdym by “who are you?”??? huh???? Www, but thanks for the compliment ig, wwww

Ah, my pretentious vocabulary has prevailed again

Idk about unique, but I'll take it www

Really? One specific line of text in my yappuccino led to this???

Oh there's no other match, okay www

Yeah, I guess so wwww

OTL

I'm like that one line from Hercules rn: "They think 'no' means 'yes,' and 'get lost' means 'take me, I'm yours.'" LOL

I might end up hating him a bit? Oh, you have no idea wwww; Well, hate might be too strong of a word. Dislike, maybe? I mean, I don’t actually have a problem with Kaiser; I just don’t like how similar we are. Now that I think about it, though, he might hate it too and even more than me, LOL. After all, sharing similarities means we share weaknesses—vulnerabilities, which is a big no for both of us! LMAO, but as ppl, when it comes down to it, yeah, I would wwww

Ehhhh, human relationships are supposed to be complex by nature, so I don’t think this is much different, even if it’s is more complicated than usual, which it probably is, wwwww

Yeahhhh, Kaiser in a simple relationship doesn’t sound like Kaiser, lol. Maybe once he is at peace with himself and years of his relationship, but as he is now? Absolutely not, lol

Not the Ness mention wwww; This poor guy can’t even be dismissed from his emperor’s service in peace… Not that I don’t contribute to that lack of peace either,,, Eh whatever, this is about Kaiser, not him, lol! Though this reminds me that Kaiser likes to be seen as an enemy or smth by other ppl, so I might’ve dug my own grave into this one by admitting I’m not fond of him 💀

“Absolute misery” what lovely words to use when discussing potential relationships 😂

Well, he’s not wrong; Humanity is a clusterfuck, so I don’t blame him wwww

Hmm, not really. Two can play at the game of manipulation.

That’s true; of his 19 years of existence the guy has like what? 4? 5? years of experience with other people, the poor guy is probably still a bit overwhelmed by the complexity of people and is trying to navigate it the best way he can like a literal child.

I see your point,,, unfortunately, wwww

Oh????

So it was my empathy that was my downfall 🤦‍♀️

👀???

Actually, I like that. It matches well with his character, especially because of the meaning of his name. If he’s god’s chosen emperor, a role that often comes with the title of being the father of an empire, it’d make sense and would only be natural if his partner would be the mother of his empire.

Oof.

Wait, no, the addition of the pun here is actually so big-brained with his character rn, bc he’s like a rose bush that needs to be deheaded. He needs to get rid of those faded flowers of his past to encourage growth and new blooms so he can keep being healthy; otherwise, the old blooms will rot and infect the new blooming flowers, making the entire bush susceptible to pests and diseases.

Hold up, isn’t that what he’s doing in his current arc???? He got rid of the spent flowers that were Ness, the freedom of his football/soccer, and the comfort/security of his current position in Bastard München in order to grow… Holy shit, am I cooking something with this rn???? Wait, does this mean he’s actually kinda healing in his own way right now??? 🤔🤔🤔

I knew my biting words would come back to bite me one day, but not like this!!!! Wwww, but yeah, that shit doesn’t really work on me. At most, he’d get points for being a prick– pun intended.

…So literally me, especially when annoyed??? 😭😭😭😭

This is both true and funny to me since it really doesn’t take much to pick him apart, but given his background, childhood, and social norms, it makes sense how he was able to get so far with his facade without getting caught; Unfortunately for him, Blue Lock isn’t a place that adheres to the social norms that helped him maintain his mask wwww

That comparison makes me think he’d probably hate me, too, tho??? wwww

I mean, tbf I think that goes for most ppl wwww

Oh, this description wwww

Ideal??? Me??? Idk about that man. Someone recounted to him in the same light I am is probably going to be a real pain to him, maybe even a literal nightmare. Also, the trauma of his past with no examples of healthy relationships and the fact that he has feelings of being unloved probably make it difficult for him to picture such a thing, hence why one of his desires is to be loved in general. He’s not in a position or space to think about ideals. Besides, he wants to become someone who can’t be defined by the impossible, so nothing should just be ideal for him because if he isn’t going to be defined by the impossible, then everything he imagines should be attainable by his own hand as long as he works for/towards it.

No, I’m pretty sure that’s his brain trying not to implode when it’s up against someone who essentially challenges the very core of his values and modus operandi as a human.

Yeah, this sounds more like he's issuing a challenge to see who is the better one between us and which of our methods of function is more effective wwwww

I can see it; I’ve also realized there is some symbolism that I can apply to our relationship, too, which is… something

Makes sense, given everything he was deprived of since he was young

Ngl, I got shivers just imagining the intimacy of that moment

Inch resting...

Oh, oh my, not the *cough cough* wwww

Yeah, I'm sure he can relate; maybe not in the same way, but still—

😭😭😭😭

That makes sense actually; it's basically just another defense mechanism of his

Well, one can see why

I’m aware… 🤡🤡🤡

LOL, in my defense, as I was writing, I just thought the more detailed, the better bc it's easier to get more accurate results, which led to that specificity wwww

Not sure if they'd be good sparks, but those behaviors will definitely create sparks; Then again, the occasional argument, bickering, and conflict can lead to a stronger relationship by establishing common ground and compromises, which this relationship definitely needs to be built upon. I do understand him and why he acts the way he does, so I can overlook some projecting, but he’s still gonna need to compromise to make this work unless he wants to recreate his parents' relationship with me wwww; He can be like his father all he wants like that, and I can play the role of his mother and skedaddle away bc I tolerate some traits less than others and he can go be a stereopticon if he wants to project so much 😒😒😒

This relationship is really going to be something, isn't it? wwww

Oh definitely.

We can bond over shared trauma!!! Oh, and interests, too wwww, though I don't think the relationship will get very far if we don't do the first one /hj

I'd give you a prize like people do for those scientists if I could, but I don't think I have the credentials for that wwww

...I'm listening..? Reading?? Idk. I'm paying attention! wwww

Awwweee, I might feel a little bad depending on what these acts of service were, but it's ok; it's the thought that counts!!! That's also very true now that I think about it, and very sweet... am I actually being convinced rn? wwww

Yeah, that too, lol

Ness mentioned part 2 wwww; Ngl idk if Kaiser really does this intentionally bc it's not like he really knows how to do anything else with others with his background, but I get it

Not sure about missing it since he never got it, but yeah, I get what you mean

It’s like how medicine can actually be poison depending on dosage no?

Hnnnggg... I'm in this picture, and I don't like it; I really outted myself with this one, huh? 🤡💀

Why does this lowkey give me a heart attack??? wwww me and my art is like Kaiser and that soccer ball, lowkey, he's kinda always had that ball with him; I always sorta had my art with me. He poured his everything into the ball, and I poured my everything into my art. It's kinda scary. I wouldn't mind if he read through one of my finished works; it's polished and completed, filtered and processed. He can find glimpses of my mind with the bits and pieces of my heart if he looks carefully, and I'm prepared to give it out. If he managed to stumble upon and pick up an unfinished WIP or my notes and research??? dhbfjhernjgtn I'm screwed. Everything is raw and unprocessed; my entire heart, mind, and soul are gonna be on display for this guy to see and they say an artist can tell what kind of person another is based on their art, so if he were to see that I might die a little on the inside. Just a little bit. ueueue

He didn't get much growing up, so it'd make sense for that to be where his taste lies, idk how to translate it directly in English, but as my parents have told me: "the taste from childhood/the taste of memories is the best." and given his childhood I'm sure he was out there making simple and basic dishes for himself

Oh, that's...

:((((

Wait, what if he gets extremely sick??? If he reaches the point of needing to rely on someone for his health because he was that unwell, then what? ...wwwww why is that my first thought and concern?

Nuuuu!!! :((((

It's okay if he gives it back; we can save it for later or smth if it helps him ueueue 😭😭😭

Ok, but opera and museum dates would be so much fun??? But also, not him showing up to the performances, I'm gonna have the relationship boundary talk of my life if our relationship isn't in a secure place;;;;; Hopefully, he misses the ones with certain setlists, LOL. Wait, he's in the back? Tall ppl in the back and short ppl in the front moment. I hope I spot him before the end tho; otherwise, I'm gonna get jumpscared 😂😂😂

Actually, yes, take me away, plz small afterparty with the two of us over the big group gathering any day!!! Also, quality time together, let's go!!! 💕💕💕💕

Ok, Elsa, just bc you're numb inside and the cold doesn't bother you doesn't mean you should stop taking care of yourself on the outside... I ruined the moment with that, didn't I? wwww

Micha would probably be so done with me for that LMAO

HELP, he's actually having a standing man emoji/"he's just standing there... menacingly!!!" moment. WWWW, what is he even doing? wwww ahhh jealousy??? ok, fair enough wwww there's no way I wouldn't make fun of him for that tho, sure it's my moment, but that doesn't mean he can't establish himself closer; we're equals, after all, it's not like my presence will dim just bc he's there esp at an event where ppl are just geeking out over stuff it can't be helped if it's for him to contain his jealousy tho. I think I'd actually like and prefer him to be closer ngl, scary dog privilege for some of the weirdos who show up at times like, "Sic 'em Kai-kun!!!!" wwww

Yeah, that's very cute and endearing of him ngl

Opposites attract! Though very physically, in this case, LOL

Ueueue it's the 35 cm height difference for me; also, this makes me realize that we have like,,, the standard manhwa depicted couple height difference LMAO

Haha, most people who are into MBTI tend to be surprised about this, but after getting to know me more, they usually come to realize it that this is the case, so it may just be how I choose to present myself wwww, but also 👀👀👀

I'm taking notes 📝📝📝

Omg, a one-shot too??? Lemme just... 👀👀👀

:(((((( well, now I feel like an asshole for what I said earlier about his parents' relationship ueueue... wwww ik he's not real, but I'll still apologize to his fictional ass for being a bitch lol; Now that I think about it, that's very fitting of us, though, huh? the bastard emperor of roses and his biting bark bitch of an empress lmao

hdbjfhrjg tysm for that??? wwww anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed writing the matchup!!! Despite my apprehensions, I promise I'll give Micha all the love and affection he missed out on and deserves, even if some of it is tough love to help him blossom LOL

Also, eyyyyyy b-day buddies, let's gooo!!!

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP + ONE SHOT — @bibururokku

Your match is...

— Michael Kaiser

✦ Pardon, but who are you? What’s with this amazing bio and incredible personality?

✦ The first thing I thought when I read your bio was, wow, the vocabulary!

✦ I love reading people who have a unique writing style. You can tell there’s depth behind it, that there’s life experience.

✦ Also, the way Kaiser came to mind, as usual, shook me a little because it was reading a very specific line in your text that suddenly made his entire character take over my thoughts, and I realized this bio could only belong to him.

✦ Conclusion: there’s no other match for your profile.

✦ It’s almost like he directly whispered to me, “This one’s for me.”

✦ And the more I read, the more I confirmed: yes, this is for him.

✦ There were also details that made me smile because I thought, “Hmm, if I put Kaiser in her path, she might actually end up hating him a bit, right?”

✦ But that’s what makes the relationship interesting and human: that it’s full of complications, that it’s not easy, that you have to fight for it.

✦ I can’t see Kaiser settling for a simple relationship where everything is easily won. It wouldn’t be worthy of his character.

✦ On the contrary, the harder it is to obtain, the more he’s the type to persevere. You can already see it on the field when he bluntly tells Ness that he no longer wants the freedom of his football because he thrives under restriction.

✦ In other words: in absolute misery.

✦ And what represents a greater misery for Kaiser than human relationships?

✦ You might think, “No way, the guy is a pro at psychological manipulation!”

✦ But to me, he studied psychology precisely to blend in with the human crowd, to understand it, and then to manipulate it. Probably because, at his core, he grew up isolated with his father, didn’t see many people, and couldn’t grasp social norms. You can see for a long time that he struggles with others, that he even fights when someone offers him something because violence is the only form of communication his father taught him.

✦ He knows how others think, but in a mechanical way. Like learning a concept by heart and regurgitating it as learned. Deep down, he doesn’t grasp the essence of it. It reminds me of that part in your bio: “I treat most like a business partner, so in that sense, I am pretty closed-off and predictable; I’ll give basic respect without letting personal feelings interfere.” It’s an automatic, learned behavior for dealing with specific social situations. Deep down, you’re not like that, but it’s simpler, and it works.

✦ All this to say that I think your existence plays a major role in this whole play.

✦ Oh yes, the passage that directly made me think of Kaiser is this one: “As for motherly, I’m just the type of person who likes to care for and nurture others, which I suspect stems from me having to mentally mature quickly due to a difficult childhood, so if I’m fond of a person, I want to make sure they’re alright and have support in all aspects as I didn’t get that.”

✦ For me, it speaks for itself.

✦ I always thought that what Kaiser needed, besides a few sessions with a therapist, is a general detox where he could purge all the evil that’s been eating away at him since birth, and that the only cure is the sincere affection someone could give him: a mother’s love.

✦ The one he never had.

✦ It’s hard to imagine Kaiser in a healthy romantic relationship because his view of humanity is so skewed, but I think that by starting a healing process, everything in him could blossom — pun not intended, of course, given his affinity with roses...

✦ At the same time, I think one has to be able to handle the responsibility of a relationship with someone as psychologically unbalanced as he is, and for that, besides having thick skin, you need the temperament to match. “Funny and sassy probably go hand-in-hand with the things I say since I’ve got quite a mouth on me, which is surprising for peers and acquaintances who see me with friends. It’s fluent in sarcasm and doesn’t mince words, which can be amusing.” I think when he meets someone (typically Isagi), Kaiser tries to establish dominance right away to secure personal safety — that is, to ensure the other doesn’t dominate him first. It’s a typical defensive mechanism.

✦ On the other hand, I think he can quickly be destabilized by someone who doesn’t falter in the face of his attempts at dominance. Someone who responds, who stands up to him, and who even manages to challenge him in areas where he usually feels comfortable.

✦ And you see it multiple times: the stronger Isagi becomes, the more he gains the upper hand over Kaiser, the more the latter is completely shaken because all his certainties crumble, and that’s when we start to understand who he really is. You have to slip into his cracks to see him in his most human, hidden aspects.

✦ He clearly resembles that bully in the schoolyard, who’s quite pleased when everyone bows down to his reign but gets scared when a teacher comes to grab him by the ear and put him in his place. A bit like with Noa: Kaiser despises him to the core but doesn’t challenge his status in the hierarchy.

✦ Kaiser, with his very complex psychology, could be a real challenge for you.

✦ “an ‘elegant strength’ about me due to my ‘intelligence and talent’ that I ‘carry all so gracefully’” Oh damn. So much power and beauty…

✦ “I’d make for a good lawyer since I’m very persuasive as I make good arguments and am good at playing semantics and twisting things in my favor thanks to those traits.” Someone skilled with words… Someone who knows how to stand their ground and defend their opinions… Hmm. Could I have stumbled upon our German emperor’s ideal?

✦ (Honestly, I can hear Kaiser melting over a description like that)

✦ (The attraction of the challenge, meeting someone of his caliber…)

✦ I’m quoting a few details from the things you like that clearly connect with Kaiser: “acting, documentaries, flowers, floriography, food, learning, music, psychology, reading, researching, social studies, symbolism, traveling.” All these keywords fully evoke me Kaiser, really, these are exactly the interests I imagine for him. Damn, I’m so glad I received your description.

✦ To me, he’s a man who presents himself with a lot of elegance and distinction but who deep down prefers very simple things, whether it’s in terms of food (we learn this in the pages of the latest released volume) or even in the small pleasures of life.

✦ I even wonder if he would let you touch his tattoo, from his jugular down to his biceps, then the tip of his elbow, forearm, and the back of his hand.

✦ (^ his ultimate love language, in my humble opinion.)

✦ (Especially since I think his neck is a very sensitive area for him, both for the worst and the best reasons *cough cough*)

✦ OH, speaking of physical contact. I was particularly struck by your testimony about the experiences you’ve had. I won’t go into details since this post remains public, but: “dislike: unsolicited physical contact.” That and the whole part where you explain it to me really resonated with me, and I’m sure it would have resonated with Kaiser too.

✦ Honestly, it gave me chills, and I even felt a wave of sadness because it could so easily echo within him as well. I mean, in the deepest parts of him. His entire childhood was built on the unhealthy relationship of violence he experienced with his father; he grew up with beatings as the only form of affection. It’s acknowledged by the manga that he inflicts pain on himself as a traumatic response to his past.

✦ In my understanding of his character, he can’t stand being touched, and this is one of the reasons he paradoxically allows himself to touch others and cross boundaries without any shame, like he does with Isagi, grabbing his chin and then his wrists during their first meeting. Kaiser attacks before being attacked.

✦ Deep down, I think even a simple caress on his skin deeply unsettles him, possibly provoking sudden violent reactions that no one could have anticipated.

✦ He resembles you.

✦ (Another thing regarding your dislikes; I’ve rarely read dislikes as specific as yours in the bios I read for matchups) (Quite funny, I won't lie)

✦ “Behaviors I’m not fond of in a person are abusive, controlling, impatient, inflexible, obsessive, possessive, prejudiced, tactless, uncooperative, violent and volatile.” This is the part that made me smile and think, “This will create sparks between these two.” These are traits Kaiser exhibits at various points in the manga or that I can perfectly imagine him displaying in a relationship with someone. Obviously, most of them are consequences of his traumas, which he projects onto others. It reminds me of the moment when he admits he wants to be the “father who inflicts suffering on others on the field.” He’s repeating a behavior he experienced in the past.

✦ Someone once told me, “Children are mirrors: they reproduce everything they see, hear, and experience.” And it’s true.

✦ Daaamn, there are so many things that match!!!

✦ I’m as excited as a scientist who’s just made the discovery of the century AAAAARGH

✦ (I’ve noted down plenty of little details to create connections with Kaiser, no worries)

✦ "My love language(s) are quality time and acts of service." "If I were on the receiving end, though, I'd probably prefer quality time and physical touch." It's funny because I think Kaiser has the exact same love languages, in the same order. That is, he comes across as the king who has all the servants doing everything for him, but with someone he genuinely cares about, he'd be the one to offer acts of service. The same goes for you, which doesn't surprise me given your backgrounds: letting people touch you is actually the ultimate proof of your love. It's such a sensitive and intimate thing for you both that you can only imagine it as the purest expression of your feelings for each other.

✦ Wow, that's beautiful.

✦ In my opinion, Kaiser does everything he can to protect his inner self from others, even Ness, who’s been closest to him these past few years, doesn’t truly know his deepest motivations and wounds (at least, that’s how it seems to me). So someone like Kaiser, who works hard to keep emotional distance from others... can only become obsessive once he falls for someone. It’s inevitable. It’s like the reins have been loosened, like a hungry beast has been set free. To me, Kaiser is starving for affection, and he needs it so badly that once he gets a taste... he won't be able to turn back.

✦ It becomes addictive for those who’ve missed it the most.

✦ And that can be just as dangerous as it can be the start of healing; it’s all about the right dose and timing.

✦ "I’m also extremely touch-starved" I don’t need to say more. I know you understand exactly what I’ve explained about Kaiser.

✦ Now, a little compilation of common traits with our German prodigy: "I also tend to write one-shots that fall under those genres since I like them." Without saying he writes fanfics or anything, I think anything related to creating a character might really captivate his attention. I can totally picture him sitting in his chair in the evening, wearing a bathrobe like we saw in the video room, reading your script, the pages you've written about your characters and universe. He’d do it very carefully in complete silence, with his glasses on and one knee crossed over the other. He’d silently turn the pages, and if he had nothing to say at the end of his reading, it’s not because it left him indifferent: I think it would keep turning in his mind, eventually deepening his interest in other people’s art. In your art.

✦ "The same goes for my other hobbies, like baking and cooking." I don't see him as extraordinarily talented in the kitchen, and his current appearance might suggest he enjoys fine dining: but nope. As I mentioned earlier, I think his culinary tastes are actually the same as when he was a child, and he loves the simplest dishes. Family meals... Oh wow, a good beef stew. A fondue!!! A Sunday barbecue at noon in the summer...

✦ A turkey on Christmas Eve.

✦ The symbolic evening of his birth...

✦ Now, I’m not sure he’d be very expressive because I think his relationship with food is a bit peculiar, especially when someone offers him something—like cooking for him. So I think it would take a lot of time and effort for him to finally accept tasting your dish. Not because it disgusts him, quite the opposite—the delicate smell of smoked meat would make him crack—but because he doesn’t know how to accept kindness from others.

✦ And you know what? I can totally see him being moved to tears by tasting a warm, delicious meal cooked just for him. He wouldn’t show it, he’d try hard not to show anything, but the expression in his tear-filled eyes would say it all.

✦ (Though he might eventually give his dish back due to the overwhelming emotions, but I promise: he loved it.)

✦ "Dancing and singing are covered by the clubs I’m in, and since I picked them, I’m satisfied with them, especially when we perform and make covers." In the category of more specific hobbies, I think he might eventually enjoy opera and museums (culture and art in general), and also come to watch your performances. He’d probably start in the back, discreet, a bit withdrawn from the crowd. And then he’d be the first to applaud you at the very end, you know, and that would prompt everyone else to clap along with him.

✦ He’s proud of you, and you leave the room together. He’s planned something and insists it’s just for the two of you. He’s never liked crowds or groups; he prefers small gatherings where he can focus on the one person who truly matters to him.

✦ The kind who’d wrap a scarf around your neck because it’s cold. You’d comment on it, and of course, he’d reply, "The cold? I’m used to it. I don’t feel it anymore."

✦ "There’s also cosplaying, but I only do it for conventions, meetups, and photoshoots with friends. But there are time and financial restraints, so it’s much less frequent." He might come to see you, not necessarily standing directly in front of your booth but watching from afar. Watching people line up at your stand for autographs and photos, maybe gritting his teeth or furrowing his brows because there’s a hint of jealousy. But he’d never interfere because he knows it’s your moment. His moment will come later.

✦ And the fact that he puts himself second is a sign of his devotion in itself.

✦ "For appearance, I’m honestly built like Hoshino Ai" Honestly, I can totally see Kaiser preferring people with a physique that’s the opposite of his, meaning shorter people with dark hair and a somewhat innocent look, but who have a strong personality.

✦ "from the way her body physically looks down to her height of 4’11” or 151 cm" Hehehe, shall we talk about hugs between 151 cm and 186 cm?

✦ "Lastly, my MBTI is INFP-T" (I won’t lie, I was a bit surprised by that MBTI, I thought you’d be something else) Kaiser is really hard to type due to his unique childhood, which, in my opinion, forced him to develop cognitive functions that he didn't have in order to survive. These functions are called “shadow functions,” and according to Carl Jung’s theory, they shouldn’t be developed at all in someone whose cognitive stack doesn’t include them. I have my own idea of Kaiser’s type, which is nothing like what Personality Database gave him, and I think it’s the most complementary to INFP.

✦ "my enneagram is 4w5" It’s commonly accepted that Kaiser’s is 3w4. You both share the 4, which in his case is a wing. This means that his 3, which represents the achiever profile, is supported by the 4, the profile attributed to the individualist. When combined with the 3, the 4 makes Kaiser someone who is motivated by achieving success while asserting who he is through his work. This is exactly what we see when he seeks to develop "a shot that defines me" and when he wants to be recognized for his work. There’s a strong identity quest in Kaiser’s relentless journey, and this is represented by his 3w4 enneagram. We can also see it throught the "wholistic restrictive ego" that Isagi describes in chapter 267.

✦ Well, because you both inspire me so much, here’s a little one shot.

Content warning: angst, self-harm, hurt/comfort.

The room was dark, silence hanging like a heavy shroud. It was late, and a bad dream had pulled you from sleep. In the bed, an immense coldness lingered. Your hand groped blindly. You could hear the sheets crumple under your grasp. The place beside you was empty.

This was usual.

And because it was usual, you got up, rubbing the corners of your eyes with your fists. Then you slipped out of bed, pulling on a robe before heading downstairs to the living room. There a light was on.

The TV was on but it was strange, you didn’t even hear the sound because all your senses were focused on the figure on the floor.

"Michael!" you cry out.

He was slumped on the floor but not asleep. Your first instinct was to approach, drop to your knees to lift a hand... Then you remembered not to touch him unless he gave his consent.

"Michael, look at me..."

There was something around his neck. His own hand, clenched like a vise. His breathing was short and erratic. A clammy heat battled across his forehead, down to his temples. The sound from the screen continued to crackle in the background. His gaze lifted to it, revealing the replay of an old match.

"It’s... the first one I saw." his murmur barely escaped his throat. "Before I started playing."

His grip gradually loosened on its own. You watched, helpless, worried.

"It was Christmas Eve, I was on the street. There was the store window. A sports shop."

"Micha..."

"I saw a vision of my father."

He slowly straightened up on his knees, his palm wiping away the sweat clinging to the roots of his hair. You moved to brush a few blonde strands behind his ear, always careful not to touch him directly.

"Fuck..." his head tilted back, exposing even his Adam’s apple. "It’s been a while."

"Is there anything I can do?"

His blue eye landed on you.

"...Nothing."

"Alright. Then tell me when..."

"There is. Hold me."

Your heart began to pound harder in your chest. A fire ignited within you. Your arms opened to welcome the one who let himself fall against you. The tattoo encircling his throat seemed to emit a faint scent of roses. You inhaled its fragrance, wrapping your arms completely around Kaiser.

"Like this. I... feel okay." His face nestled into the curve of your neck. His warm breath settled there. "You’re not leaving, right?"

"I’m here."

"You’re here."

A word about your match: You’re the sexiest Hollywood couple of all time, hands down. I absolutely LOVED writing this matchup, thank you so much. Give Kaiser all the love you can; I'm convinced he has so much to give too. He just needs time to blossom...and love.

And OH MY GOD I see on your blog that you were born on 10 December like me????