#until its unbearable

[420dannie]

im physically unable to not put my whole entire heart and soul into the thing im fixated on until i slowly descend into madness

[mxrtified777]

this character stylizing study whatever was sponsored by my ryou playlist 👍

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

[furyxiv]

Pokemon fans continue to be dumb as hell 🙃

[velaraffricate]

so I've been working on my latest conlang, irkan osla (or just osla for short), for a bit now and would like to showcase its writing system in this post! osla has a syllabic alphabet, not too dissimilar to korean hangul, where letters are stacked according to certain rules to make syllable blocks.

osla's syllable structure is (C)(C)V(V)(C), here's how the stacks work for each type of syllable:

all letters have small, wide, and tall forms depending on their position in the syllable. here are all the letters with their IPA value and romanization:

and here's an example text! i translated parts of the minecraft end poem into osla. maybe i'll make another post just focusing on the grammar when it's more developed. the poem says in english:

What did this player dream? This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind? Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

this post is getting long, so under the cut you'll find a "sans-serif" version as well as the poem in osla and its gloss if you're also a linguistics nerd and wanna know what's going on under the hood (the roman numerals stand for the 3 noun classes)! thanks for reading!

The way regular people would write something quickly on a piece of paper with a regular pen is an aspect of creating neographies that I feel is often overlooked, so I developed this sans-serif version that people would probably be more likely to use when writing their shopping lists or diary entries:

And, finally, here's the poem translation:

pak oṇḍul phan wimbakis?

DET.I.SG.PROX play-AGN what dream-PST.3SG.I?

pak oṇḍul lümaṇiuṣerothi han buloni an wimbakis. kaṣkhaothi han nilothi an. wimbakis, run sëmamkis. wimbakis, run xokthakis, han bumxokthakis. zöga an wimbakis.

DET.I.SG.PROX play-AGN sunlight-II.SG.DAT and tree-II.PL.DAT of dream-PST.3SG.I. Fire-II.SG.DAT and water-II.SG.DAT of. dream-PST.3SG.I, that create-PST.3SG.I. dream-PST.3SG.I, that hunt-PST.3SG.I, and PASS-hunt-PST.3SG.I. shelter of dream-PST.3SG.I.

ṭauraka, run kaak samare? run glutsüna flia?

know-NP.3SG.I, that 3SG.I.ABS love-NP.1PL? that universe kind?

imba ethamo, khaṣiŋli an ka’am hu’aŋni pitë, glutsüna ṣaraka, ti.

some time-NOM.III.PL, noise-ACC.II.SG of 3SG.I.GEN thought-NOM.III.PL through, universe hear-NP.3SG.I, yes.

[antlershade]

its nice to wake up not feeling as much like ive been hit by a truck for once. the new nightmare meds I'm on dont even start fully working for 3-7 days but this is already much better. i wasnt fully aware how badly the chronic nightmares were affecting me physically until now. post traumatic stress really is hard on the body it turns out

i can already tell this will make a big difference in my life; I'll be able to do a lot more and feel less tired/shitty throughout the day

[spotsupstuff]

hey spot, do you have any tips for drawing iterator faces- more specifically "snouted" faces (like five pebbles)?

this gotta be some kinda ploy to make me draw Pebs again augh...

not sure if i really have many tips from my actual process, i guess? i'm tryin to speed thru the process of drawin as much as i can so more nuanced things get lost in favor of a shorthand, but i suppose i can try muster some stuff up. one isn't a master of their craft if they can't explain it to a child, as they say

main idea i try to chase with Pebs (since for now he's the only Gen 3 design i have with the snout stuff) is the silhouette of the head, the boundaries? the same shape can be recycled for a different angle, though the body then has to be adjusted cuz it can look funky then

this is the quick process, at least. generally i'd slow down, polish some things, a drawing with a goal in mind usually takes a while longer because of the attempts at the best shapes n things that would communicate what i have in head, but it's also better defined because there is an actual specific idea in the head. "draw expression for sake of showing a head" vs "draw this character a little appalled with apprehensive hand against the chest and as if he can't stand something that's happening in front of him"

here's the latter idea Pebs with more time spent on him- slower brush strokes, eraser and Especially the select tool which was used specifically to move the eye n marks lower + make his head smaller. the select tool isn't cheating (since i know some throw a fuss about that), use it when something isn't entirely clickin freely

as always, when an artist's shorthand isn't working out for ya/you can't tune into the same process of slappin a vision on canvas, breaking a thing down to its basic shapes and working with those should do the trick

oh! another trick i used a few times. from the middle of the + on the base circle that helps direct the face, extend a line that would serve for some snout navigation in 3D

[scalpelsister]

what if i lost the will to live like. as a joke. what then.

[daforged]

i need to stop looking at job postings when i am very firmly not in a place where i can move jobs right now

[dusty-pistol]

Well, guess who just learned that his intense shoulder pain is actually caused by anxiety!

I get intense shoulder pain cuz my anxiety gets so bad in public that I'm in a constant state of fight or flight every time I leave the house!

How delightful.. /sarc

At school, in town, out of town, at the store, doctor's office, therapy, literally everywhere I go where there's people. Goin out in public quite literally PHYSICALLY hurts me. Which is actually super funny to me but also. Ow.

[harrowharkwife]

.

[transgaysex]

every day i choose kindness and i do it through gritted teeth

[dandyshucks]

head in my hands helpppp my brother didn't even talk to our parents before hauling a bunch of his stuff over here 😭😭😭 texting w my mother now and I think she's pissed and I'm so scared she's going to get mad at ME even though I've been hassling my brother to text the parents since he first phoned me oh my goddd I've been nauseous from anxiety all day 😭😭😭

[caffeinatedopossum]

I think being asked to care about things in any way actually makes me worse when the suicidality is from my anxiety and not my depression. Like the problem is that I already care too much, so much that I can never stop thinking about it, so much that the pain of thinking about it is unbearable.

"What about the people that love you" please don't do this to me. Please

[windwaver]

i really wanted to hit 20k steps but the heat had mike tyson hands today 💀

[anotherpapercut]

personal vent post/diary entry incoming:

I've struggled on and off over the years with varying degrees of agoraphobia and in the past like year or so I've made massive strides and got to the point where I was able to regularly attend social or otherwise crowded events. since breaking my foot I've gone backwards so much. I'm like terrified to leave my apartment even for work and have missed a lot of it. I've only tried hanging out in public places a handful of times and haven't gone to a single show since I got hurt over a month ago. it's extremely fucking frustrating having so much progress completely lost in a fucking instant