#unsanitary // illness cw not me

[dragonpaint]

auggghhhhhh dog just sharted on me when i lifted her djhfjsjfjsjdjddhdjfhjdhdjd;; day is going greatttttttttttt

[bcneheaded]

ooc;; lil update!! (a little venty I suppose, apologies)

aahh its been a day. I . started my day wth my dog being sick in... a variety of ways off and on (i wasnt able to sleep a lot bc of it ;-; poor guy needed to go out every like. hour + was heaving too. almost missed the transit bc of cleaning up ?? you know

+ when I got home my older brother who's been visiting from BC had to be carted away via ambulance bc he couldn't move <:' ) he'd hurt his back pretty badly a few months ago and something let go tonight. so !!

all that being said I might be a little absent this week. hopefully both boys feel better soon. I'm worried sick over them + am, a bit afraid of falling asleep too deeply lest my dog shit / v*m on the floor and have to sit in the room with it bc I've passed out cold orz" .....vet tomorrow if hes still ucky feeling. idk if that warrants staying home with him (bc im afraid he'll shit and v* on the floor/on the deck ? and generally just not knowing whats wrong with him) but !! i huheuhugghh I waNT TO

[eternityservedcold]

an extremely thorough list of content warnings for jojos bizarre adventure

because the old one was made by a deleted blog so it isnt easily accessible any more (and i dont think it was good enough to begin with)

btw if you say anything to the effect of "why do people like jojo when it has x" or "you guys really excuse y?" on this post im just gonna block you. people who get angry about me saying to skip parts/episodes will also get blocked.

feel free to reply/send an ask with anything i missed, preferably with a chapter or episode number. parts 7 and 8 wont be on here in full until i finish reading them but feel free to send me cws for them and ill add them. also the warnings are just in the order they appear, and more specifically when they appear in the anime, so as to not have weird "x is more important than y" nonsense

general warnings

these are things that…. basically if youre triggered by these i think you should just sit this out tbh. its an amazing series but its not worth repeatedly triggering yourself. this ones just ordered alphabetically bc its throughout (read: in at least 3 parts)

blood, violence, body horror, gore, and death -amputation -animal abuse and death (especially of dogs) -decapitation -eye, nail, and mouth horror -impalement -parental and sibling death -police brutality -suicide and self harm

child abuse -child abandonment -corporal punishment -leering shots of minors bodies -pedophilia (still gets a warning every time) -physical abuse

christian themes and symbolism

drug use -alcohol -tobacco -underage drug use -unspecified white powder

fire and explosions

gambling

misogyny, both in-universe and on the part of the author

racism (gets specific warnings every time)

sexual misconduct -catcalling -rape (still gets a warning every time) -sexual assault -sexual harassment

unsanitary -eating/drinking gross things —being forced to eat/drink gross things -pee -poop -snot -vomit

vehicle accidents -car accidents -plane crashes

part 1: phantom blood

(manga only) ritual sacrifice

restricted eating

non-consensual kissing

(manga only) a dog is shown on fire

poisoning

chinese ethnic stereotypes

a baby gets eaten

part 2: battle tendency

okay im gonna rip the bandaid off now. there are nazis in this one, and its significantly worse than youd expect just reading that. im gonna quote the old list here: "there are so many nazis in this part and they’re not condemned like at all tbh". i would almost say its glorified, one of the main allies is a nazi and another main ally directly praises a different nazi. in the manga, hitler and swastikas are explicitly shown as well as nazis being called by name, but in the anime, they are removed and simply called german soldiers.

almost nothing from this part comes back in the future and what does come back is explained as it comes up or is understandable from context. so please. if you need to skip this part, just do it. i even understand if you skip the whole series because of this.

its possible some may find the mesoamerican aesthetic of the villains in this part to be insensitive or offensive. im mexican and i personally dont, but i could see why someone would

racism toward: -black people -mexican people —slavery and degradation of mexican women is explicitly shown -japanese people

hostage situation

kidnapping

human experimentation

ritual sacrifice

"man in a dress" gag and subsequent transmisogyny

unintentional incest. there are only two scenes of this, which are: -a character spying on someone (later revealed to be their mother) in the bath -going through said mothers belongings and talking about her panties

animal cannibalism

part 3: stardust crusaders

since fights in this part are much more self-contained than the other parts, its possible to skip some of these if youre triggered by them. those will be marked with chapter and episode numbers

a woman gets spontaneously undressed in the middle of a fight (only her bra shows but it happens against her will)

jotaro, a 17 year old, kisses an adult woman to save her from possession. i wouldnt really say this is pedophilia and it lasts for 1 panel/less than 10 seconds but i found it uncomfortable

while incapacitated from sickness, holly will randomly be shown naked with weird leering camera angles. this happens many more times in the anime than the manga

pedophilia (depicted as a bad thing and the victim is saved before anything happens) (skip chapters 17-19/episode 7)

native american stereotypes (skip chapters 20-22/episode 8)

"person gets replaced" trope (skip chapters 23-6/episode 9; chapters 76-79/episode 27)

infection

suffocation

drowning

"child acting like a pervert" trope (skip chapters 92-96/episodes 32-33) -in the same episodes, the child spends the entire fight naked which might be uncomfortable for some

stardust crusaders ova

this gets its own subsection due to being so different that i was having to say "this doesnt apply to the ova" for a lot of the warnings. unlike the main sdc section, since this ova is extremely pared down, there wont be skippable warnings. also note that this is in "manga order", so its 2000 ova then 1993 ova

the english voice actor for avdol (a black/egyptian character) is a white guy doing a vaguely "ethnic" accent

the non-consensual kissing thing above, here its with a girl jotaros age though

infection

suffocation

ritual sacrifice (used as the intro animation for the 1993 portion)

drowning

part 4: diamond is unbreakable

rape, pedophilia, and kidnapping mentions

physical abuse

electrocution

blackmail

yandere trope -emotional abuse -isolation -stalking -kidnapping

restricted eating

skin picking

(anime only) jumpscare

invasion of privacy (skip this part if this bothers you because one of the main allies power is just, doing this, and its constant)

"child acting like a pervert" trope

bodysnatching/"person gets replaced" trope

theres an uncomfortable scene where a child gets attacked in the bath (non-sexually). both the child and the attacker are naked for the duration of the scene

part 5: vento aureo/golden wind

gang violence/the mafia (main crux of the plot)

bullying

(anime only) racism toward japanese people

reckless driving

torture

rape (not shown just heavily implied)

terminal illness/infection/disease

(anime only) pedophilia

forced childbirth (its like, magical childbirth and the mother doesnt register it)

possibly offensive depiction of systems (systems, feel free to correct me on this)

medical malpractice

a guy gets swapped into a girls body and gropes it

part 6: stone ocean

(anime only) heavy use of chromatic aberration, which may be eye straining for some

this part is really horny, comparatively speaking. this isnt really a bad thing but depending on your level of comfort with that you may want to skip

(manga only) misgendering a trans man

hallucinations

memory loss

abuse of religious authority

(manga only, only in some translations) homophobic slur

grooming

gang violence

"disposable sex worker" trope

creepy stalker-ish behavior (the person who does it becomes a main ally & never stops or eases up)

cult

drowning

electrocution

unintentional incest

the kkk (in the anime its a generic racist mob) -lynching

part 7: steel ball run

possibly offensive depiction of native americans (feel free to correct me if youre native)

a 14 year old girl: -is a child bride and im pretty sure this isnt condemned at all -gets hit on by adults -experiences a rape attempt? -gets pregnant?

the entire plot is about curing a disability

medical malpractice

capital punishment

(only in some translations) r slur variant

homophobic slur

attempted pedophilia/rape?

"bisexual sex pest" trope (grown woman making advances toward a minor/trying to rape her)?

part 8: jojolion

ableism?

rape?

part 9: the jojolands

"unsettling gender reveal" trope

pedophilia

[killemwithkawaii]

Love sick Sal with a nurse darling headcanons ?

I honestly kind of think he would hurt himself on purpose to get touch by them <3

Love Sick Sally with a Nurse Darling-

[CW: Yandere, delusion, metal illness, self-harm, manipulation, unsanitary. People in the medical field, feel free to correct me if any of this is super inaccurate!]

>Sal fell in love about two minutes into his physical. It took that long for him to confirm that the nurse that had been assigned to examine him, nurse [darling], was exactly his type: They were polite, but not too serious. Strong, but gentle.... Passionate, knowledgeable, dedicated, empathetic, caring, understanding, and level-headed with a stomach of steel... Not to mention the ability to make scrubs look good. 👀💓

>[Darling] didn’t skip a beat when they entered the room and saw Sally bare-faced, sitting on the examination table in nothing but the paper gown he’d been given to wear. They looked him in the eye and smiled warmly while asking him all the usual questions and taking his vitals (though they were a little concerned about his blood pressure being high, and joked about him having a ‘shy bladder’ when it took longer than expected to get his urine sample...). Despite the butterflies in his stomach and the smell of their shampoo distracting him, he managed to make small talk while [darling] gingerly (and thoroughly) poked and prodded him head to toe. They seemed interested in his ‘unique’ hobbies, chuckled at his bone-dry jokes, listened intently to his concerns, and they didn’t judge him at all for taking medications and going to therapy for his mental health issues. When he mentioned those things to them with a hint of shame in his voice, they said that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, “Your mental health is just as important as your physical health! It’s great that you’re taking care of yourself on both levels now. Keep up the good work, Sally.” ☺📝

>That verbal pat on the back was the last nail in his coffin. Sals head was so high in the clouds when [darling] finally gathered their things and left the examination room, he almost wandered out into the hall without dressing. After getting home, He couldn’t stop thinking about his appointment- about how kind [darling] was, how good it felt for them to praise him, the tension and intimacy he’d felt while they were looking him over, how warm and gentle their touch was (and how he wished it would have lingered and not been obstructed by the glove)… he found himself daydreaming about them, wondering if they'd thought of him since they'd shut the door behind them that day, if they'd felt their connection, too, but knew it would be inappropriate to acknowledge it, given the constraints of a nurse/patient relationship... Considering this, he felt the need to start coming up with appropriate reasons to see them again, as soon and as frequently as their schedule and his insurance would allow him to. 🤔💭

>Luckily, with his range of medical needs, Sal needed more checkups and minor treatments than the average person. So, if he plays his cards right, he gets to see a lot of [darling]. On those highly anticipated days when he has a visit, he makes it his mission to be the BEST. PATIENT. EVER: He’s freshly showered, arrives 15 minutes early, never complains about long wait times, has a few interesting anecdotes at-the-ready, tries to impress nurse [darling] with his tolerance for discomfort and knowledge of his own conditions, and always has plenty of thoughtful clarifying questions about his treatments and medications. [Darling] thinks that Sal is a very responsible person who puts a high priority on his health, but in reality, it’s all just an excuse to extend their time together and hopefully get off-track with small talk that will allow him to get to know [darling] better, or will lead to more examinations and treatments that will get [darling] to touch him. Either way, it’s a win. ✅

>Sal probably wouldn't self-harm as an excuse to see [darling], or at least, if he did, he would have to do it VERY sparingly and be VERY strategic about how and what he does. Since [Darling] is a medical professional, chances are that they could easily spot the difference between purposeful and accidental injuries, even if he continuously switched up his methods. He could probably get away with an occasional self-inflicted burn from the oven, cut from shaving, irritation from using household cleaners without gloves, maybe some mild food poisoning if he has a few days to kill… but eventually, [darling] would start to notice a pattern. If he keeps coming to [darling] with injuries they suspect are from self-harm, they might refer him to a different nurse with more psychiatric experience than they have, or, if it seems serious enough, insist that he be hospitalized because he's a danger to himself. No, if he wants [darling], specifically, to dote on him without raising suspicion, he has to convince them that he’s just clumsy- any injuries or ailments he comes to them with have to be (or at least look like) an accident. 🤫⚖

-Thankfully, Sal does a lot of adventuring in run-down buildings, forests, and in other places where it’s easy to trip or become injured if you’re not extra careful. Knowing that he can use those injuries as an excuse to get [darling]s attention (with both medical treatment and the story of how he got his injury), he attempts more risky climbs, braves thickets of thorny overgrowth, is less careful when he runs along uneven terrain than he would be otherwise, etc. On top of the treachery, all those places are pretty unsanitary, so he makes sure to get all those cuts and scratches checked out, ‘just to be on the safe side’. If he's particularly lucky, he gets to limp into [darling]s office with a sprain or dislocation, and the jackpot would be needing stitches, since he gets to come in to get them, AND he’ll have to come back to get them removed! (Bonus points if said injury leaves a scar. He has plenty, so he doesn’t mind having another, and having something as a permanent reminder of [darling]s skilled and gentle touch on his skin makes him feel all mushy~) 🩹💖

Bonus: If [darling] is a friend who is still studying to be a nurse…

>Sal is happy to volunteer as their pin cushion/ practice dummy. He’s got a high pain threshold, so he’s able to sit still while [darling] tries to find a vein to practice inserting an IV or drawing blood, and he has the patience of a saint while they meticulously go through the protocol they’ve studied for dressing different wounds and doing various examinations. 💉🩺

>Since he’s had to go through so many medical procedures with so many different physicians, Sal can give [darling] honest and constructive feedback about their technique and bedside manner. They don’t have a ton to improve on, since [darling] is a natural-born healer, but it’s always good to get a current patient's perspective so you can do even better with the ones you treat in the future. By the time [darling] has their degree, they practically know Sally inside and out, and are very grateful to him for all his help on their journey to becoming a REAL nurse! 🎓

-He worries about [darling] a lot, especially when they’re preparing for exams or have gone through a streak of difficult days on the job. They put their all into their studies/work and often end up putting more pressure on themselves than they should, so Sal is always happy to help them go over their notes, offer to hang out and do something fun to relax, or lend an ear when they need to vent. 👂

>Once they’re confident in their skills, Sal can probably convince [darling] to do a good deal of ‘pro bono treatment’ for the minor stuff he’d otherwise try to deal with himself. He (says he) doesn't have the money to keep going to urgent care every time he needs something looked at, and [darling] wouldn’t let him go untreated, right? Of course not! It’s their duty as a health care professional to help people (and friends) in need, and it’s always good to see someone who knows your medical history (and you) well and makes you feel comfortable. And, since they're friends first and nurse/patient second, it wouldn't be totally inappropriate if their relationship evolved into something more intimate... (a little taboo, but that just makes it interesting 😉)

Additions by our resident nurse, @thegracelessfaceless:

>What Sally doesn't know, is that Nurse Darling risks their job quite a bit in order to care for and spend time with him.

>They reliably spend too much time triaging Sally, resulting in multiple events in which the Doctor and Nurse Practitioner are waiting outside just staring at the door impatiently when Darling comes out. They've had to have a few meetings about their speed when triaging Sal.

>On a few occasions, Darling has stolen samples of Sal's migraine meds or antibiotics because Sal couldn't afford that months supply. She doesn't feel bad about it, what is Sal gonna do, snort up a big line of penicillin or Imitrex? Nurse Darling thinks not

[blusical]

Ableism in Hockey

[PT: Ableism in Hockey. End PT] Trigger warning: Ableist comments and language, uncensored slur. We already talk about the homophobia, misogyny, racism, abuse and bullying that's almost engrained in hockey culture. However, I don't see many people talk about the ableism that's way too common within hockey. Firstly, what is ableism?

Ableism is a form of discrimination, particularly towards people with physical, mental, intellectual and other forms of disabilities. Ableism towards those with mental illness is called sanism. Some examples of ableism include inaccessiblity, using ableist slurs (such as the r-slur), believing that disabled people are broken and need to be "fixed" or "cured", believing that people with certain mental health conditions are "evil" (ex. the evil alter stereotype towards folks with Dissociative Identity Disorder or believing that everyone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is abusive). Ableism within hockey fandoms.

Some of you are already familiar with the "blind/deaf ref" joke. Almost everyone has made such jokes at some point (or at least laughed at one). Well, earlier today I was watching an Instagram reel featuring a league of blind hockey players. The comments, while most of them surprisingly supportive, also showed that such jokes aren't exactly harmless...

Worst part, I only saw two people take issue with these comments. TWO. Ironically enough, one of them was a referee who just so happened to actually be blind! While it's easy to assume they didn't know better (and they probably didn't, considering this joke is unfortunately way too common), it kind of serves as a reminder about how we view disabled hockey fans, players, coaches and, yes, even refs (especially those that are blind or deaf). And it's not just blind or deaf individuals being made fun of. It's also very easy to go into hockey spaces and see disability or neurodivergent-based buzzwords thrown around, such as "delusional" (or, and this is the only time I'll say this willingly, "delulu"), without the people saying it even realizing the harmful affects it could have on those who do genuinely experience delusions or psychosis (such as those with schizophrenia).

Ableism within the sport itself.

Within hockey, some youth organizations still use the m-word (shown below so people know what I'm referring to), despite it being considered an offensive term (and even a slur to some) towards people with dwarfism. In 2020, Hockey Canada dropped the term, but some organizations still use it, including USA Hockey.

Ableism by the players is also something we should address. In 2022, the Boston Bruins signed Mitchell Miller, a player who's infamous for bullying a black disabled teen (CW: Uncensored r-slur, brief detail of physical violence and unsanitary actions). He was eventually released two days later after backlash from fans (though the contract didn't end until February), however it was not a good look for Boston. (Man, ableism and racism. Talk about a double whammy). Earlier this year, a video surfaced of Carson Briere and a few other individuals pushing an unoccupied wheelchair down the stairs; the wheelchair was severely damaged and had to be replaced. Not long after the video surfaced, Mercyhurst Hockey cut him from the team. Both of the above mentioned have since signed with a team in Slovakia.

And this isn't even getting into the likelihood of ableist slurs being used on the ice. Lastly, many hockey arenas are still inaccessible, with many disabled fans unable to enter access in some, getting accessible seating is a hassle and many unable to buy tickets due to high prices (something that lots of disabled folks have issues with in many events.). Crowds and noise at venues can also be overwhelming to those on the autism spectrum (Like me!) and unfortunately not many hockey arenas have sensory rooms (However there IS some improvement being made on this end!) And unfortunately, watching from TV might not even be an option for some folks, as digital ads have also raised concerns about potentially causing seizures in photosensitive folks.

Disabled folks are considered an afterthought when it comes to fun events such as sports.

That may seem like an exaggeration, but unfortunately it's not. Disabled folks are always viewed as an afterthought in the world, and whenever basic accessible features are requested, they're told to "grow up snowflake" or that the "world doesn't revolve around you". And sports is no different. As the above show, disabled folks aren't taken seriously, especially when it's so easy to see blind and deaf folks become the butt of jokes when making fun of refs, mockery of addiction (alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, drug abuse, etc). And the worst part: Almost nobody is talking about it. Not until not anyway. We discuss the misogyny, the queerphobia and the racism. But we never talk about the ableism within hockey culture. Well, now's the time.

[janokenmun]

hell yeah pinned post time

basically i will post about: Whatever I Feel Like

if we're mutuals send me a dm and i might (not guaranteed) send u my discord so we can keep in contact in case site go explodey

cw: venty mental health stuff, relationship stuff, nsfw stuff, wack and hard kinks (also this blog uses unconventional nsfw tags! see below for details)

this may include:

-toki pona -english posts with toki pona translations -noitaposting -venty stuff (esp. relationship stuff) -hornyposts (filterable; see below) -non-venty relationshipy posts -rats -way too many memes -whatever randomass thoughts are on my mind at any given time -any brain contents i havent dumped on my friends already

feel free to dm im open to making new friends also feel free to send asks! also also please tell me if i rb something from a terf or otherwise-problematic person, BUT PLEASE LINK THE POST!!!!!! i rb like hundreds of things a day and i don't have the energy to filter through everything ive posted in the past day to see if it matches the vague description in a callout ask i got

also if u follow me or even just interact i WILL be looking through ur blog. this is a threat

also fair warning i post a fucking lot (mostly rbs) so if u follow be prepared for that (i assume theres a post limit since theres been multiple times where ive posted so much that tumblr cuts me off and refuses to let me post and gives me errors if i try to post)

btw im not comfy with kisses or cuddles from people im not dating!!

also if you're wondering about some personal details, im (cis) male, mostly straight, autism, possibly adhd, and open to play stellaris or warframe or mtg commander or other games

ill be trying to tag my own lewd posts with #janokenlewd, others' with #janantelewd, and cnc posts with #jancnclewd, so if you don't want to see that (or are a minor) absolutely block 'em!!!! i'll also be using #kenlalewd for things that i'm unsure on (like suggestive but not explicit stuff), im not gonna enforce that minors block that but it is recommended! please tell me if i don't appropriately tag nsfw (which likely will happen on occasion)!!! i'm trying to keep this a relatively safe space for minors, so i don't have to ban them completely, and having minors block those tags is an essential part of that! (additionally! i may leave sex ed or kink ed stuff untagged, as safety and education is important; if there's enough demand for it i might make a tag for nsfw education stuff).

basically this blog is just. My Brain

enjoy

BTW IMPORTANT NOTE: if i do/say something bad, tell me unambiguously! i will have genuinely no idea otherwise

nsfw stuff under the cut :3

more details about me are that im strictly top/dom, single, and open to doin lewd stuff with friends (and possibly boys! i have no idea!!!)

kinks include a bunch of like hard-dom stuff; cnc and brat tamer stuff are my favorite (especially cnc!!! <3<3<3), but i tend to like a lot of dom stuff tho! basically like just ask, there's also a bunch of kinks i have that i'm not comfortable stating publicly! also, i use the word "rape" here a lot; please block the cnc tag if you are uncomfortable with that!!!

limits include like gore/blood (tho a little blood is ok), and any of the like "unsanitary" kinks! also DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE A SUB OR TRY TO DOM ME IT MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, also don't misgender me or anything but that feels like a given! there might be other stuff but that Should be most of it, feel free to ask before sending if you're unsure

feel free to message and/or send asks (esp. if you're sub/switch girl)!!! best practice is to just ask directly before doing stuff, i.e. "hey do you mind if i send nudes" or "hey do u want to talk about kink stuff" or anything like that! tho sending nudes/porn/fantasies that *don't involve me* out of nowhere is likely okay ;3 (if u wanna be safe then ask first tho!! and specify the relevant kinks in case any are a turnoff)! i only rarely rp, i have to trust u first, so don't expect that immediately!

if you're a dom, top, and/or boy, i might still wanna talk about stuff, even if i don't wanna like rp or anything directly!! i'm super interested in human sexuality and hearing in-depth stuff about what kinks people have and why they have them is fascinating (and very hot) to me (and could give me ideas ;3), so if you wanna talk about that stuff please please please message!!!!

this is a paraphilia-safe space!!! if you have paraphilias, including the big ones, you're safe here and i accept you :). depending on what it is i might not want to talk about it, turnoffs are turnoffs, but i still accept you for who you are :) also relatedly id probably be considered proship tho im not really in that community so i may not understand the full nuance and ramifications of that term

also obviously. if you're a minor then don't interact lewdly with me?? you shoudlnt even be reading this and you should have #janantelewd and #janokenlewd blocked as well, that's the compromise i've made so that i don't have to just block every minor that follows me since i post a bunch of sfw stuff too, violators of the contract will be obliterated with the force of a thousand suns

[waterfall-ambience]

woe. salt be upon ye.

[ask-chef-teruteru]

So on the topic of the whole period sex thing since its oddly convenient cuz i like just got my period. (and i'm a trans guy so thats even more shitty) and like,, i get like really fuckin horny every time and like, god i just want you to fuck me hard till i'm trembling, until i'm so overstimulated that every little touch drives me crazy. Fuuck i need you. I'm so turned on that it hurts

“Do me a favor, pardon the fact that my nose is bleedin’ n’ know that ain’t infringin’ on no sincerity when I say I’m sorry that that’s what you’re dealin’ with right now, hon’.”

“With that said though, let’s get you taken care of, shall we? I’ll make sure you can’t think ‘bout absolutely anything ‘sides me n’ how good we feel together. If you’re still feelin’ sore by the time I’m done with you, I guarantee it at least won’t be from cramps, darlin’!~”

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

[ @throughxthexmist || Continued From Here || Ella ]

[ Clyde ]

Those big brown doe eyes looked at her like he just might cry, not necessarily because he meant to manipulate her, but because he was dying for affection. He was still adamant that he’d hold her through the worst of this.

“It was my decision to want a kiss, to drink out of your cup earlier, and to finish what you didn’t of the soup I made you.” 

Which he hadn’t exactly mentioned earlier, but he had been hungry. And thirsty. And he’d gotten her fresh water after he’d demolished what was left of hers! 

He really didn’t have enough boundaries with germs, did he?

“If I get sick it’ll be worth it. I still got to take care of you.”

[letmeliedown]

i’m so overloaded and i really need to sleep so i don’t miss checking in tomorrow and ruin everything but i also desperately need to have some time to just stim but i’m in too much pain to do the stims i really want to do (watching the twilight zone or playing pocket camp) 

i also need to do physio to cram my horrible bones back into place because i haven’t been doing it enough lately and i’m really feeling it but i don’t have the spoons to ask for the things i need to do it properly and the floor is dirty and last night when i started this thought process i ended up possibly concussing myself trying to clean dust out from under the bed because my breathing and balance was bad from mcas and i was simultaneously having an ocd time about my walker wheels and viruses...

[canmom]

death cw (of someone I knew), homelessness cw

On Friday I learned that a woman called Stefania, who often sat on a stack of newspapers in the tunnel under the Overground line near my house, was dead.

I first met her when I moved here, less than a year ago, and I tried to at least chat every time I passed. A lot of people spoke to her, she was really well-liked. I didn’t know her nearly as well as some of the other people in the area, but whenever I could afford to I’d try to give her £10 or £20 in the hope it might make her life a little less hard. I bought her a scarf once. She didn’t speak a lot of English, but she was always very friendly to me. I hoped she might be able to come visit some time - I wished my house had a spare bed I could just give her, without question or charge or anything.

I’m sure other people did what they felt they could.

There’s a large pile of flowers and cards to commemorate her in the spot she used to sit now. A lot of people were grieving when I went out there.

I know she had some kind of lung illness. About 600-800 (depending on source) homeless people die in the streets and shelters of this country each year, a large proportion here in London. About a third die of entirely preventable diseases. This is despite healthcare nominally being free on the NHS in this country. Being out in the cold, without adequate nutrition, constant stress and danger, exposure to unsanitary conditions, no way to wash easily, no address to arrange prescriptions or ability to pay prescription charge or register at a GP... I’m honestly surprised it isn’t a larger proportion.

I don’t know what kind of care Stefania got. I overheard someone at the memorial wishing she’d thought to take Stefania to a hospital the last time she’d seen her. But she didn’t, and nobody else did. I guess it’s not really unusual to see someone dying of pneumonia on the streets of London. Most people are struggling to afford rent and not end up there themselves. And the landlords and City bankers don’t become landlords and City bankers without effectively deciding they don’t really give a shit about people dying on the street.

I bet even one big hotel in this city has enough clean, empty rooms to individually house every homeless person in the city.

I haven’t really been dealing with this well. I’ve lost distant family members before who I didn’t know so well, and on several occasions been very afraid that my friends have killed themselves, but this is probably the first time that someone I knew better than that has died.

But what upsets me more is how incomprehensibly wrong it is for this to happen. If all of us people who live here can’t prevent someone we all care about from dying an entirely preventable death on the street, what is the point of us? How could we fuck up on that level?

And it’s not like I didn’t know that people are routinely being discarded and left to die, that hundreds of people are constantly dying of homelessness or sacrificing themselves to avoid it. But I guess there is some limitation in our minds, or defence mechanism I guess, that makes us feel differently about someone we have some kind of social relationship with, compared to someone who remains only the idea of a person. I would be even less functional than I already am if I cried this much over every person who died in a situation of incomprehensible injustice.

Anyway I came on here that evening to find my friends and acquaintances at each others’ throats over an entirely hypothetical question of what we would do if we had a bunch of power that we don’t have, calling each other ‘genocidal’ for being for or against some grand abstraction such as ‘mining’ or ‘agriculture’ as if we’re the fucking dictators of the world or something. I did my best to mediate and check in on those near me.

but really what’s the fucking point of any of this. none of my reading of Marx did shit to help Stefania.

[grave-gift]

CW for TMI / gross / bodily fluids / unsanitary / illness / etc all that good stuff

Idk how chronically ill ppl do it man. I have mild UTI symptoms (fever, urge incontinence, pain - basically I am sweating and uncomfortable and can't leave the bathroom) combined with the end of this cold (so much snot oh my god I can't BREATHE) and I'm like. I'm ready to give up. This is the end for me. Yes it's dramatic but I also mean it genuinely ☠️

[bongpaws]

talking about ibs stuff, so cw for unsanitary / tmi

but man wtf how am i supposed to survive when my joints don’t work, my muscles randomly ache at all times & just taking a shit is a long & uncomfortable ordeal… end me pls

and that’s not even getting into the other systemic stuff i experience due 2 arthritis or the side-effects of all the meds im on or the super severe lifelong mental illness lol

[killemwithkawaii]

'Meet the Fishers' S/I Ask Roundup 🎤✨

[CW: Spoilers for 'Meet the Fishers' and 'The Staycation', NS/FW lime, unreality, mental illness, unsanitary, vomit, delusion, drug use, yandere, violence, weapons, death, suicide, corpses, cannibalism]

In this post... @meadow-hearthfire @danuflowlove @thegracelessfaceless

(Okay, not an s/i ask, but I wanted to answer it anyway!)

This was an absolutely fascinating question that I unfortunately did not have the time to dig into during the event, so I posed the question to our resident nurse and fellow Sally-Simp @thegracelessfaceless! Here's what she had to say about L.S.S. and her own Sals blood labs:

"...It would make sense to me for him to of course be anemic like mine, those boys stay so cold except in summer. But also we have to factor in the electrocution. In people who have been electrocuted it's important to check their complete blood count, which is a little low in my Sal, serum electrolyte levels (fine now but right after the chair they were super high), liver function tests (low due to capillaries being fried) and BUN (blood urea nitrogen) which would be super low since the electrolytes were super high....

The levels have probably evened out by now, but they're are small abnormalities in those tests that will follow him for the rest of his life. Now Larry? His blood tests are the weirdest thing I've ever seen"

So yes, Danu, I'd say there is a strong possibility of some weird results in L.S.S.! It's very interesting that there's some evidence of electrocution in Gracies Sals blood, even after hopping realities...

I wouldn't be surprised at all if that were also true for L.S.S., but since he was technically a non-person in this reality, we were never able to take him to a doctor, and it might be, uh.... difficult to get labs run on what's left of him now.... 😬😬😬

Side note: I'm picturing a doc seeing Larrys results and being like "... this has to be an error. Uh... he's probably fine no aliens here :)" sdlfkjdslkf

Yes! Once the cat was out of the bag about both of their yandere tendencies and they officially became a yanXyan couple, L.S.S. and Neighbor!Mitch exchanged and took A LOT of photos together 📸💘

While we're talking about Mitch(5) and her interesting taste in décor, I wanted to point out an easter egg readers might not have noticed:

In her intro selfie, you can see a portion of her plushie collection in the background, including a strawberry and a rabbit. When Sal moves in the death day selfie...

... it's revealed that there's a wolf that admittedly looks like a cat but i was in a time crunch sshhh about to nom on the rabbits arm (mmm, foreshadowing~) 🍴

Well, since the number of alternate universes Sal could come across is supposedly infinite, there must be one of those out there... somewhere.... (right?) 🤔

Yes, all the time! He's a huge stickler for safety and following protocol, and wouldn't hesitate to say something if someone is endangering themselves or others. Half the reason he's called 'Mitch the Bitch' is because he's always bitching and nagging about this and that, but it's always for a good reason! He just can't stand the thought of someone getting hurt because of a careless mistake (especially if he could have done something to prevent it.... or god forbid, he caused it)... 😰

You make a very good point, Meadow.

>Had Sal treated videogame!Mitch more like the virtual pet everyone else perceived them to be, rather than his serious romantic partner, and prioritized his 'real' relationships over them most of the time, it's likely he could have spent the rest of his natural life within that universe with them in his pocket, chirping away~ (Aww, that sounds cute..! 🥺🎶💖)

>In his defense, L.S.S. was starting to have serious issues with his perception of time at that point, was becoming increasingly bored with the monotony of immortality while at the same time trying to avoid the temptations he gave into in previous lifetimes (*cough*Mitch(3)*cough*), and was struggling with making connections to the real people in his lives. The longer he's 'alive', the less he can relate to regular, mortal people, you know? All that repetition made it difficult for him to see much of a difference between Mitch(4) and Family and Friends (~4000), until they confronted him and brought him to his senses.

>It also didn't help that videogame!Mitch really fed into Sals addictive tendencies, punched him in the guilt complex (He promised Mitch(3) he'd be 'more in control... wouldn't let them do whatever they wanted' and Mitch(4) is a literal toy he has complete control over oop-) and also demanded constant attention! (You gotta wonder why they ended up in the box he found them in in the first place...)

>[Spoiler: That s/i is supposed to embody my endless thirst for praise/attention/validation, my constant people pleasing, my repetitive stims, tendency to mirror personalities, and my need for routine/sameness.... its like the part of me that's a very clingy pastel parrot with separation anxiety that you want to shove in a box sometimes because its Annoying lmao]

While we're on the topic, I think it could be argued that all of L.S.S.s relationships he'd had with the Mitchs hes encountered are irresponsible on Sals part (the most excusable being Coworker!Mitch). Ultimately, they're all sidequests that have been a major disruption to his real mission: Find the 'original' Larry, do everything he can to stop the D.O.G. wherever he encounters them, and generally fight for the greater good however he can (a cause far more important that his own personal fulfilment or happiness). Consider:

>There was no 'Mitch' in his original timeline, so they shouldn't really be considered a priority on his main quest (no matter how important they've become to him over time).

>Mitch(1) got waaaay more than she bargained for by getting involved with Sally. She expected him to be executed, not show up at her window in the middle of the night to take her on the run! He could have easily cut off the relationship for her sake at any time, knowing it could never realistically work out, but he chose to pursue it in favor of the lofty short-term reward. This decision ultimately resulted in both of their deaths (hers being completely unnecessary), and further contributed to the cycle of guilt that he was already trapped in in (only this time, the angst had a sexy, romantic edge! Juicyyy~)

>The versions of Mitch that Sal found later on had absolutely nothing to do with what happened between him and Mitch(1), so there was no real reason to get them involved in his guilt trip/ attempt at redemption.

>I mean, sure, they all provided a temporary, comforting distraction from the torture of immortality, but in the end, those relationships did nothing to help his ultimate cause or ease his guilt. All they did was leave Sal a little more twisted than he was before....

>But, can you really blame him for wanting something more sometimes, despite the inevitable consequences? A guy gets lonely, universe hopping for literally forever.... 🥺👉👈💘

Before, during, and after, baby 😎👌💨💙💦

The answer: "All the babes and booze money can buy? Sounds like heaven on earth to me.! Buuut I think I'd rather get a free private show from Sally-cat over here...~"

The Actual answer: He'd go and have fun for an hour or two, then either get kicked out for inappropriate behavior/ not having money, or he'd get cranky because he's overstimulated, get mad about something small, and retreat to the safety of his trailer in a huff.

Side note: Something I didn't really get to cover as much as I'd like to during The Staycation is Dealer!Mitchs sensory issues. It's one of the reasons he numbs himself with substances, loves living in the middle of the woods (very little noise and light pollution), and prefers to go into town at night (less crowded). He's just absolutely riddled with ADHD and chooses bad ways to cope with it 🤷‍♂️

Gotta admit, I was flip-flopping on the details for his death the entire time (and didn't have enough time to write it out, anyway) so I ended up leaving it pretty vague on purpose 🤡

The rough idea was that:

>Larry came to Mitch(4)s trailer to check up on Sal because he hadn't heard from him for a while and got worried.

>Larry barged in and found Sal dead [either pretty fresh, so Mitch(3) is still crying hysterically while trying (poorly) to resuscitate him, or like a couple days post-mortem, so Mitch(3) is in a drunken stupor and the smell is starting to seep under the closed bedroom door... couldn't decide which would be more gross/scary/pathetic and fun to write tbh🤔].

>Larry didn't want anybody to know that Sal died that way. He believed it would be better if they thought he'd just gone missing, like so many others in Nockfell had.

>Larry and Mitch(3) cut up Sals body in the bathtub and kept the pieces in Mitch(3)s fridge to be disposed of in sections (the whole body would be hard to transport and look super sus), probably by Larry putting them down the '''trash chute''' in Mrs. Packertons apartment. [or something?? I just know that Mitch(3) would be too freaked out/intoxicated to come up with a plan besides 'ignore it', and Larry makes grand schemes without thinking the details through, so it seems like something he'd suggest.] That way, Sals body would never be found and his reputation would remain intact.

>Larry bailed half-way through disposal because he couldn't stomach it, leaving Mitch(3) with a fridge full of rotting man meat and nobody to turn to because he's an asshole who pushed everyone who cares about him away.

>Ultimately, I had two main options for Mitch(3)s death, but couldn't quite decide:

Him being him, his solution is to avoid the problem until it goes away and take whatever substance is necessary to achieve that, so he does that until he ODs and dies in his trailer ['rots in a box' with Sal].

Because Mitch(3) he hadn't been pushing any 'Addison Special' lately, members of the cult come to check on him. They find him mid-suicidal binge, he asks them for help with getting rid of Sals body, keeps saying hes sorry and didn't mean to hurt anyone, he wants to get out of the game, yada yada... the cult decides hes no longer useful to them. They either... >go through the song and dance of charging him with murder and throwing him in jail for the rest of his life [again, he 'rots in a box,' but is all alone] >or, they just kill him, and his body either ends up in the same pile of remains as (half of) Sals did [in the temple, right under the apartments, which is where Sal would later find Mitch(4) in the lost-and-found box] OR they would just kill him and leave him to rot with the rest of Sals body in his trailer and kind of forget about it bc the D.O.G. runs the government and they can do that 🤷‍♂️

Whatever route tickles your fancy, Mitch(3) died alone, miserable, and completely out of control because of his own actions. (No wonder the next Mitch in line was so needy, attention hungry, and desperate to be told what to do... 🥺)

------------------------------- That's it for this roundup! Thanks for asking all these questions about my s/is, they were a lot of fun to answer (and if anyone has any more, I'd love to do another of these some time)! :D 💖💖💖

[letmeliedown]

wrote down a bunch of points mostly about the way a staff member here has been treating me to try to bring up when I talk to the supervisors. anyone have the spoons to take a look and tell me if it's coherent? still doubting if any of my perceptions are real or if i'm Just Splitting but like... pretty sure it's not just that?

CW: disablism, unsanitary conditions, illness, bodily functions, menstruation, neglect, cissexism, misgendering, food, eating disorder, bug mention, suicide ideation

(sorry about the formatting, pasting turned the checkboxes from my notes app into [ ] and I don't have the spoons to fix it)

https://pastebin.com/NtRX8WLd