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#unless i just don’t know what i’m doing. which is also possible
howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days
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I think the only headcanon I like and remember consistently is Killer having attachment issues in the way
When any relationship gets too real, he does his best to push the other one away. Actively doing things he knows the other one won't like so they'll leave him, because he doesn't deserve any kind of good-ish relationships. He thinks they'd do better in life without him. Uhh I think it's just a case of self-hatred, if I know my emotions right(which I don't)
Yes i agree. Although I think the reasons behind this isn’t as straight forward as it seems. Very important to keep in mind that Killer has a dissociative disorder—this will affect his attachments. Such as in his Stages.
For Stage 2, i genuinely think he is not interested in emotional connections, or at least is convinced he is. He views them as a threat to his independence and emotional detachment, and views himself as not capable of having them.
He prefers to live his fantasies out in his mind where it’s safer and less risk—where he has control. The second anything comes too real, and he starts filling engulfed, he will detach himself and start actively self sabotage to make them leave. This is to protect himself, and only himself.
There isn’t exactly a sense of “I don’t deserve this/you,” exactly. The most I can see this mindset cropping up is in his relationship with Color. For everyone else it’s more like, “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.” (Which is rich, considering his entire codependency shit with Nightmare. Silly little un-self aware bastard he is.
Although with Nightmare he doesn’t really have to worry about giving a shit about Nightmares emotions genuinely unless they impact him—he just does what he’s told or what he has to, and in return he gets purpose and direction.)
This is his schizoid and antisocial tendencies. Which i headcanon killer to have traits of in Stage 2. I think Stage 2 would have a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
In Stage 1, it’s much like you said—feeling undeserving—but also feeling deeply afraid of being engulfed, controlled, rejected, or abandoned or hurt again—although he deeply craves emotional connection and validation and safety.
For me, personally, Stage 1 is either anxious preoccupied attachment style, or fearful avoidant.
I’m not quite certain about how it’d manifest in Stages 3 and 4—mostly because killer doesn’t really attach much in these states. These two have bigger things to worry about than getting attached—and possibly don’t even conceive things like relationships.
Which, yeah, these are dissociative adaptations meant to keep killer alive or avoid suffering in ways that may be outdated to his current situation. Based on certain interpretations, Stage 3 is more likely to be entirely focused on the immediate moment and himself—nothing and no one else. Stage 4 is entirely unlikely to be focused on itself at all.
This would likely change and develop when Killer manages to form genuine connections and escape the dangerous abusive environment he is in— such as with Color, and then perhaps eventually with the rest of the Epic Sanses and the Chromatic Crew. And of course, the Stages are all still the same person— so there will be ripple effects.
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stergeon · 6 months
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a rare night off
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tomorrow is my first day of classes as I go back to school for the first time in eight years and my family has picked today to blow up at each other and drag me into it
#VERY long story short#after my Papa died my dad buying the house out from my mom became a real possibility again#so all of us slowed down on the house sale stuff#and that included me shifting my focus from packing and looking for a place to getting ready to start school#but as of about two and a half hours ago my father is again freaking the fuck out#and saying we need to have the house ready to go on the market in seven fucking days#bc my mom has asked for a downpayment which he says he can’t afford#(when I asked him how much she was asking for he said he didn’t know. so it’s less ‘can’t’ and more ‘doesn’t want to’ but whatever)#anyway I asked him to ask bc if it comes down to it I would prefer to loan my dad the money for the downpayment#bc in exchange I get stability while I go back to school and the money I lose in interest would just be going to increased rent anyway#so now I get a text from my mother saying ‘do not give your father money for the downpayment’#and I’ve been trying so hard to be supportive of them both without it seeming like I’m ‘taking sides’#but I kind of snapped and said ‘I love you but don’t tell me what to do. I’m not doing this to ‘bail dad out’’#‘I’m doing this bc it’s the best option for me right now.’#and now she’s not responding to me#I fucking hate this#she needs the money. I need a stable place to live. let me loan him the money so YOU have the money mom!#I know you’re worried he won’t pay me back bc he’s proven to be less than honest with his finances in the past but also.#I’m his only kid. not to be macabre but I’ll be getting it back eventually one way or another unless he somehow writes me out of his will.#just fuckin. I’m supposed to be reading through my syllabuses and figuring out bullshit websites for school rn.#I don’t want to be dealing with family drama and impending homelessness rn pls chill#personal
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sharkieboi · 2 months
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well might get in trouble at work for instigating shit with the admins but also this form was anonymous so i’m fully planning on being like “someone posted what?! omg. let’s see where this goes.”
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nope-body · 2 years
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.
#was part of a discussion on class at my college last weekend and I’m still thinking about it#because for a portion of the time we split into affinity groups based on class#and there was a handout that gave context that defined different classes for us that didn’t use income levels and it was really helpful#but I think my family is like. upper middle class based on the descriptions in that sheet#which makes sense#but that left me to decide whether I go to the upper class affinity group or the middle class affinity group#I didn’t want to overstep so I erred on the side of caution and went to the upper class group and just#I knew my college is very disproportionately upper class (10% of students come from the top 1%)#but I guess I didn’t realize just how much that was true#like yeah I hear people talk about going to private school all the time and it’s wild but I just don’t think I fully realized it?#because I did not belong in that group. at all. the amounts of money that were mentioned as part of life were just insane#and their experiences were nowhere near my own#I don’t know if I would have felt like I fit in more with the middle class group or not but I don’t think I fit in the upper class group#for me at least my relationship with my family also plays a big role in my personal financial situation- I don’t trust them with#certain things and have to rely on them for others but like. I don’t talk to them much and so when people talk about asking their parents#for money it’s not something I do unless it’s an emergency. it’s not a casual thing#I use my money for stuff- what I’ve earned and gifts because I’ve said that I want money as a gift instead of like an object#and I have a decent amount saved up but I’m also trying to save up for if/when I have to pay for larger medical expenses myself#so I limit my spending as much as possible#but I’m also aware that I do have money and other people don’t have as much (especially in the spaces I tend to be in) so I do want I can#but I can’t do a ton because I don’t know what my future is going to look like#(​like my immediate future)#which sucks because it feels like I have so much that I could use to help with things but I’m too scared to touch it in case my parents#don’t take too well too me being disabled behind their backs#but if they do react well then it’s like I could have helped but didn’t#I don’t know. either way it sucks#also I still don’t understand class at my college beyond there’s a fuckton of rich kids and#the low income and poor kids are ignored and not supported
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neoraso · 9 months
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riize when they're jealous
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shotaro
is a little oblivious at first- for example: tries to make friends with the guy
then as the conversation drags on and taro realizes this guy is barely acknowledging him,, and is literally only talking to you he gets pretty uncomfortable
you are also getting uncomfortable and shotaro notices so he finds a way to quickly end the conversation (pretending you had somewhere else to be or smth)
he doesn't get too down about if afterwards and definitely doesn't blame you for anything he just tries to make jokes about how attractive you are "people just can't stay away from you! you're like the flower to a bee (⌒▽⌒)”
but honestly, it still irks him a bit. pls make sure to give him at least one kiss and remind him he's ur shining star
eunseok
def not the type to be worried about you around his friends or your male friends.. but random guys actually hitting on you in real.
he would never admit to being jealous, he tries to tell himself he's just annoyed with the guy or like.. worried for your safety which- um ok wtv
that being said ,, when he does get this way he goes completely cold. hard frown, glaring eyes, clenched jaw etc. etc.
he's very confident in your relationship but something about the highly unrealistic possibility that you could be swayed to leave him ruffles his feathers to say the least
i hope no one would be bold enough to try to hit on you WHILE you're with him because he'd immediately get in front of you and confront the guy "who even are you? what do you need to talk to her for?"
sungchan
oh dear lord.... it's not good. like he wont hurt anyone but sometimes wants to. like,,,
ok it depends if you were far away talking to a guy he would immediately come over and wrap his arm around you and goes "who's this." and ur like PLS don’t do anything embarrassing 😳
it’s to the point he does not want to hear about your past relationships (unless it was like a serious conversation) bc it makes his skin crawl thinking about another person touching his girl
he trusts his friends but it will take a bit of convincing to trust your friends. not bc he doesn’t have faith in you he would just get pissed at other people thinking they had a chance
i’m making him sound like a freak but he’s very open and vocal about how he feels and wants to work on it with you - but he’s always gonna be protective like a guard dog
wonbin
he’s like ., quiet possessive (?) he's just like " ur only my baby right?" wants you all to himself, near him as much as possible
jokingly says you can’t watch other groups but is like ..half joking he lowkey doesn’t want you thinking other guys are cooler than him
it really just comes down to the fact that he doesn't want to lose you.
if there was a real situation where someone was like actually flirting with you, he would get soooo sulky. - like comes over to you and puts his hand on your back, smiling at you like everything is fine 🙂( 😐)
but when he hears you say "yes, this is my boyfriend i was telling you about." his chest puffs up and he’s like jumping for joy inside T_T needs extra kisses too afterwards
seunghan
you are his baby and is very clear about it in public . always has his hands on you so it would be insane for someone to hit on you but if he walked away and someone approached u…
hhhhh lowkey gets an attitude … mostly with the other guy like tongue in cheek “is this guy serious…”
honestly kind of confrontational “can i help you? what do you need from my girlfriend?” can be intimidating when he wants to and makes sure people know he is NOT playing around
first makes sure you’re ok and then he’s like “wtf.. do i have to give you an ‘i ♡ my bf’ shirt or smth”
with his and your friends he doesn’t have a problem he trusts you all the way he just gets offended when people don’t get the hint that you’re taken
sohee
surprisingly, gets more jealous than you’d expect like sometimes ur like ???
he really just wants all your attention and if other guys try to take it he’s like . abt to start barking
that being said he trusts you 100% but when you notice his smile is like 10% less bright than usual and you ask what’s wrong he’s like “OHHH nothing -_- i just can’t believe i’m up against the whole city bc you’re so pretty. what am i to do ?”
ur just like 😭my sweet boy !! give him a kiss he’ll be cured and recovers pretty quickly
kind of is one that doesn’t really like you having male friends but he doesn’t want to control you so he’s doing deep breathing exercises if you’re really involved in a conversation with someone that isn’t him.
anton
ohhh sweet sweet anton. honestly ! doesn’t get too jealous
like he gives u your space if you’re talking to another guy but if they start subtly hitting on you he’s like ?
will bring it up to you later when you’re sitting with him like stroking your arm and he’s like “sooooo that guy ..” and ur like oh 🙄that was so annoying. did it upset you? :( and he’s like “um . i mean… well not really it was just weird ..”
will appreciate your reassurance more than he shows you
might be one to be insecure with you around the members just because you would get so close to them he’s like ha…. what if they got even closer … but then he remembers none of you would ever do that then he just hugs you a little tighter
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sweet1delusi0ns · 3 months
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Haikyuu boys n cuddles ──☆*:・゚
Team ! karasuno
Characters: Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Nishinoya, Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka
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Hinata✿
He will do anything to spend all day with you cuddling but bro has places to be yk
But he still tries to cuddle as much as possible even in public. If he’s on break and your there he will cuddle up to you in front of everyone, he don’t care! Unless your the one cuddling up to him then he will start blushinggg
But mostly y’all cuddle at one of your houses. He’s so awake and hyper that he can’t stay still but two minutes into the cuddle sesh he’s gone. He drools all over you but you don’t care, and you’ll gladly kiss him awake when it’s time to go
He mainly clings onto your side, like he just clamps himself onto your waist or arm and will just stay there! He also likes being held by you but that’s only for special occasions
Kageyama✿
He doesn’t beg and whine for cuddles but he will be pissed if he doesn’t get cuddles when he wants. He expects you to read his mind; “how was I supposed to know you wanted to cuddle you didn’t say anything?” “I DONT KNOW!”
But once he does get them he is very pleased with himself, he feel like he wins since he didn’t have to ask even though he was pouting the whole day which is basically the same-
He normally big spoons you while his face is like (¬◡¬). If you catch a glimpse of his dumb smirk you tease him which makes him hide in your hair instead~
He’s scared of cuddling anywhere public in any way- he wants cuddles to be private and special! He like just being with you and no one else ok!
Tsukishima✿
He thinks he’s so smart trying to make cuddling ‘your idea’ even though you didn’t even say anything at all. Like random he just walks up to you; “fineee since you wanna whine so much I guess we could cuddle.” You didn’t even say anything before he spoke up he was just to shy to admit he wanted to cuddle
He big spoons you but what he really loves is resting his head on your chest and wrapping his arms around you, You play with his hair and call him ‘your baby’ and at that point he doesn’t even try to stop it. He will deny it later tho👍
The only cuddling he really does PDA wise is letting you rest on him. He doesn’t care abt all the teasing his gunna get if your tired he doesn’t care he will be a pillow. Again he will deny it later even though there were witnesses
Yamaguchi✿
Never will he ever ask to cuddle, it’s way too embarrassing to ask you he’d rather just curl into a ball on top of you and wait for you to acknowledge him, he always lays on top of you even if he’s bigger or smaller than you he doesn’t care. He draws shapes on your arms while he waits for attention, he also likes when you pat his head-
Once you finally engage with him he was just start TALKINGG, about anything! When he’s comfortable he talks! About his day n such and sometimes he goes “oh do you wanna say something? No? Ok…blah blah blahhh” you don’t mind his yapping at all though
If you try hugging him in public or pulling him in he will just look away timidly and softly push off, hopeing no one sees his red face~
Nishinoya✿
He tries cuddling you literally everywhere. He can’t go one second without a cuddle- he could be in the middle of shopping or something and he will just stop, turn around and cling onto you, then after a minute he will get off and act like nothing happened
If you guys r just hanging out at your house and y’all decide to cuddle uhm, your going to have to pick the position cuz he can not make up his mind- honestly he just sprawls out and let’s you do whatever, normally you just hold him which he’s chill with
Also if you don’t give him nose kisses or play with his hair while cuddling he’s gunna be madddd!
Daichi✿
He gives you hugs n love but cuddling is rare but when it does happen it lasts HOURS. Like 4 full hours I’m being Fr. He holds you close to his chest and just stays there, he doesn’t even fall asleep he’s fully awake and he remembers every moment!
He waits all day for you both to have free time so you could just talk and cuddle and he will get impatient in you take too long, he’s been waiting all day ofc he’s gunna get impatient; “y/n hurry up!!!” “Be PATIENT!” “UGHHH”
When y’all cuddle he always hides his face in your hair or neck and he gets cold like really easily so when he starts getting a little cold he tightens his arms around you hoping for you to bring warmth to him
Sugawara✿
He is obsessed with cuddles but if he asked for them all the time he would feel like he’s bothering you, WHICH HES NOT!
He tries to figure out if your busy in any way ; “sooo y/n, you doing anything?” “Uhm no?” “Cool…cool…” “…do you wanna cuddle~!” “Yeah” you can tell what he wants without him having to ask which he loves
He cuddles by tucking under your chin and basically hiding in the neck, when you cuddle it’s nap time for him so you have a sleeping boy hiding in your neck while softly snoring, you comment about his snoring later and he got embarrassed 😔
Tanaka✿
He normally only cuddles late at night when he’s still hype asf and needs to calm down, so he just throws himself onto you-
He obviously uses your chest as a pillow so he wraps his hands round your waist as well, you could feel him nuzzling into your chest while he whispers something about you being so hot (as usual)
On a serious note he finds is so cute when you drag your thumb over his cheeks in an attempt to calm him down, he always grabs your hand and kisses it before actually calming down.
This should NOT have taken this long but I had shit to do forgive me😋
Btw: not proof read cuz I’m lazy🤞
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hueseok · 3 months
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( 16. ) A LOVER’S KISS.
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a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course.
and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.
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━ jeongguk x reader ━ 4.1k words. ━ 18+ ━ smut | angst | fluff | friends with benefits au | idiots to lovers au | college au | yearning? pining? | ft. swimmer!jeongguk, editor-in-chief!reader (small appearances from swimmer!jimin & associate editor!taehyung) ━ warning/s: swearing
note. no smut for this part, but i’m keeping the rating 18+ and have the smut label above since this drabble series overall isn’t suitable for minors !!
[ chapter index. ]
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EPISODE 16. the one with a lover’s kiss !
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jeongguk couldn’t sleep the night before the competition.
it’s not the first time this happened, of course. one can guess that he should be used to it at this point due to the nerves and the pressure and his desire to do great for the sake of the university’s reputation and for his own reputation as well (and maybe because of the expectations of his coach too who often wasn’t that kind in order to push him to the farthest of his limits). 
however, as made apparent by you before you attended class earlier, he didn’t just have the game to keep in mind for tomorrow, no—because as you have explained to him and cruelly reiterated when he called you a few minutes ago just for the purpose of hearing your voice before he tried to sleep—tomorrow was also going to be the day in which you were going to tell him your decision on whether you were willing to fully take him back again or not after the whirlwind of events that happened to your relationship these past weeks.
he wanted to believe that he had a good chance in winning you back; he wanted to confidently say that there was perhaps no way you would reject him, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up too high either. god knows how much that could hurt once you give him your answer and it turns out to be the opposite of what he was guessing. though a part of him was already convinced that surely, you wouldn’t have entertained his sweet gestures this week since making up if it wasn’t going to lead to you taking him back, right?
right? 
you possibly couldn’t be that brutal.
though in your defense, he didn’t think he had the right to be angry if leading him on was your plan all along. truth be told, he has been both intentionally and unintentionally brutal to you before to have the nerve to complain, that if you were going to take this opportunity to get the revenge you wanted, then he should just be a man about it and accept it the way it is.
***
“i don’t see her.”
jeongguk couldn’t breathe. he took a dramatic inhale to calm himself and regulate his heartbeat. “anywhere? you don’t see her with the guys and just—somewhere in the bleachers, maybe?”
“nope.” jimin glanced at him. “why? is ____ not coming? haven’t you two made up already? don’t tell me you did something stupid again.”
“we’re fine.” he rolled his eyes, slightly unsettled by his own statement. “it’s just important that she’s here.”
“yeah, i know, she’s your lucky charm, blah blah blah.”
“it’s not that.” jeongguk huffed. “well, it’s a part of it, but it’s bigger than that. is it wrong for me to want to try and find her before the competition begins?”
“yeah, coach would kill you if he doesn’t find you here when he arrives, so i advise you to just chill and be patient. maybe she’s just running a bit late.”
“yeah, you’re right. i’m just paranoid, am i?”
“what are you even exactly paranoid about?” jimin asked.
jeongguk frowned. talking about it out loud made it too real, and he preferred not to do it because of that, but he figured that he should at least tell someone about it if he wanted more insight perhaps. at least jimin has been a far better partner to yebin than jeongguk ever was to you to not be the person suitable to talk about this with. “she said if she doesn’t attend, that means she’s dumping me.”
jimin’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. “really? i never thought ____ had it in her.”
“she made it clear that she’s not going to see me anymore if i don’t see her today. i’m practically on the verge of death right now—or the start of my emo boy era.”
 jimin snorted. “didn’t you already go through that phase?”
“no, i haven’t.”
“yeah, you have. you’ve been moping for a few solid weeks when you and her weren’t okay. can’t say that you don’t deserve it. after what you did, you realize that it’s fair for her to play you around a bit, right?”
jeongguk wanted to strangle jimin sometimes because of his bluntness and desire to always tease the hell out of the people he’s close with (which unfortunately included jeongguk). but at the same time, he couldn’t deny that it was good to have a friend like him who could slap the facts in your face in order for you to see the truth and the implication of your actions—and be sometimes funny with it, for that matter.
“is it really?” jeongguk asked.
“well… i mean, it is in a way that you should see how lucky you are that you’re going to get your answer straight away. if i was her, i would have dragged this winning her back thing for a whole year before dropping the bomb that maybe we should just stay friends.”
“you seriously can’t be that cruel, jimin.”
“i could be, if someone really fucked me up.” he laughed. “but ____ isn’t like that. and i know she has strong feelings for you too. so maybe the best course of action now is to just trust what she decides for the both of you and live with it.”
this wasn’t the pep talk that jeongguk was expecting to receive before the tournament.
“and what am i supposed to do if she doesn’t come and that means we’re really over?” he questioned again.
jimin sighed. “then i guess you just have to go back to your emo tendencies and move on.”
***
the first time jeongguk personally asked if you could go to one of his matches, you and him weren’t secretly sleeping with each other yet. you were still in that weird phase of being great friends when you have the rest of the gang with you, but suddenly being really quiet and awkward with each other when it was just you two. he never even thought of inviting you alone when it came to his scheduled races, believing that he was doing the both of you a favor by not putting yourselves in a situation wherein you and him will just fall back to the usual cringeworthy interactions that will lead him physically wincing whenever he remembered them.
but that time, you overheard his conversation with taehyung who was apologizing that he couldn’t come for his match that weekend because of a project he needed to work on, and jeongguk, upon hearing him explain, visibly expressed his disappointment at the news because he wanted a friend to be there just so they could take a proper picture and video for him that he could look back after (if it wasn’t mentioned yet, jeongguk was obsessed with always doing a better performance than his last).
“i can go,” you volunteered before, your eyes focused still on the monitor inside the campus publication office but your ears were paying attention to them. “i’m free this saturday.”
jeongguk looked at you afterwards with a look that showed absolute hesitance. he was thankful that you weren’t peering at him to notice. “oh. you sure, ____? i wouldn’t want to bother you.”
“it’s fine.” you flickered your gaze to him. “though, if you don’t want me to be there, that’s totally okay too—”
“what? don’t be ridiculous.” a very very awkward chuckle tumbled out of jeongguk’s lips, one that taehyung furrowed his eyebrows at because of how fake it sounded. “why wouldn’t i want you to be there? of course you can come. i’d be really glad if you do.”
he didn’t know what response he was expecting, but you grinned, nodding in an skeptical manner, and then returned to what you were doing like nothing happened. jeongguk decided to face taehyung again afterwards, the latter staring at him with a similar dubious yet funny look, but he punched his arm and opted to flee from the office, muttering that he was going to be late for class if he stayed any longer.
fast forward to when the tournament came and he finished first place, he was ecstatic, brimming with pride because of his accomplishment—and when he met you outside the locker room to thank you for really coming and taking shots of him that he would review that night, he was a bit startled when you congratulated him with a tight hug, not used to that kind of affection from you.
sure, he always knew you were sweet to your close friends. you were like that to goeun, taehyung, and haru.
to him, though? that was the first.
“i’m so proud of you, guk!” you told him, the smile on your face so bright that he thought he might have to squint to look at you properly. “this is your first win of the season, right?”
jeongguk nodded. “yeah, i think it is.”
from that point forward, things weren’t so awkward between the both of you. your friendship solidified further when he asked if you wanted to help him with something at his uncle’s newly built restaurant, and you agreed, recognizing the same newfound comfort he was beginning to feel that you were eager to foster it more because it didn’t sit right with you how you were alright with everyone else and yet weird with him.
now, he didn’t want to think of the possibility of things being like that again. he barely survived not talking to you that much during the soomi fiasco and the period wherein he purposely avoided you to not cause any more damage than he had after the confrontation. it was one of the driving forces why he made up his mind in truly pursuing you—the realization that he wasn’t fond of the idea of not being able to talk to you every single day, of not being able to tell you the most random things and be certain that you would always know what to say next.
entering the natatorium, jeongguk didn’t appear as if he was hiding the fact that he was searching for you among the crowd. he already quickly spotted taehyung, haru, and goeun at their spot (you weren’t there), and then he tried searching for yebin, hoping that you decided to accompany her instead this time to create some kind of suspense (you still weren’t there when he saw her). so, all he could do after was let his eyes explore the whole venue as fast as he could, his heart hammering harder at every instance he failed to find you.
was this going to be the end of it all?
were you not coming?
was yesterday the final moment he got to hold you?
“guk,” his coach abruptly called his attention, “take your jacket off. it’s about to start,” he said, noticing jeongguk’s stiff posture as he stood there at the starting platform, immobile while the other players he was competing against were already removing their clothes.
jeongguk took one long scan again.
he still couldn’t see you.
and although he has yet to dive into the water, it felt as if he lost the ability to swim and was drowning to the bottom of the pool.
***
“congratulations!”
jeongguk could at least afford them a genuine smile as taehyung, haru, and goeun pulled him for a group hug. they simultaneously and continuously patted his back, the two boys doing it in a harsh manner to annoy the hell out of him that jeongguk had to groan and shove them off to prevent them from doing further damage to his aching body, though not without laughing and muttering his thanks for both being here and congratulating him.
“you did great back there,” haru said with a proud grin. “you’re definitely going to be the cover of the next issue again with the victory. i doubt i have to get ____’s approval just to make that happen.”
at the mention of your name, jeongguk’s attempt to seem fine crumbled a little. it didn’t go ignored by the rest of the gang with him; although they weren’t aware of the deal you and jeongguk had, they could understand that your absence today meant that something was wrong.
goeun cleared her throat, the silence insufferable that she couldn’t resist finally speaking up. “well, uh, haru mentioned that he’s also treating us today.” she placed an arm around haru’s shoulders, tiptoeing and struggling in the process. “right, ru?”
haru glanced at her. “i am?”
“you are.” taehyung chimed in, linking his arms with haru as if to lock him in. “you said you would if jeongguk wins first place.”
“i did?” haru’s tone remained confused.
jeongguk had to chuckle at their dumb effort to lighten the mood again. it was obvious that no conversation which involved haru saying that he was going to treat them later if jeongguk indeed won occurred. 
“don’t worry,” jeongguk said to haru, “i already messaged my uncle about the win and he’s gonna cook for us at the restaurant.”
“thank god.” haru exhaled a relieved breath. “because i do not have enough money right now to pay for all of us.” he glared at goeun.
“sorry, but someone had to say something,” she muttered.
“and you thought saying that i was going to treat everybody was the perfect thing to mention?” asked haru.
her shoulders lifted up in a shrug. “you’re the most generous out of us three.”
“no, he’s not,” taehyung butted in, “i think that title goes to me.”
“is it?” goeun asked. “you’re probably the most frugal of us all.”
“sensible is the right term for that,” defended taehyung.
jeongguk was about to join in the banter, to divert the teasing towards taehyung more as some sort of payback for the back slaps he got earlier, but just as he was opening his mouth to get a sentence out, he saw you coming into view.
you were here.
you came.
but you were late. what did that mean?
“____,” jeongguk breathed out.
the group automatically shut up, whirling around to see where jeongguk was staring at.
he was very much tempted to run to you, but his knees stayed put, somehow frozen in place. a part of him perhaps knew that talking to you immediately might be the wrong choice. he was afraid that the reason why you arrived late today was because you were still planning to reject him, that you were just being nice about it by doing it in person instead of text—but that was more cruel, in his opinion. he rather you don’t see his face when give him the news that you’re not willing to be with him again.
“hey,” you said, looking directly at him before diverting your attention to the rest of the crew. “you guys mind if guk and i speak alone?”
a pause.
“yeah, it’s cool.” haru was the first one to say, followed by taehyung, and then goeun.
“thanks.” you smiled.
they awkwardly shuffled and made their way to the exit of the locker room. they gave one last look to jeongguk just as they disappeared into the hallway, as if they were wishing him luck or reassuring him that everything was going to be okay, and looked at you too, as if they were sending a similar message that translated more into ‘please don’t break his heart or else this friend group might turn weird’.
when they were gone and definitely out of earshot, jeongguk finally had the courage to take a step forward. “____,” your name tumbled out of his lips again, “what are you—”
“i told you so,” you cut him off. you were going to lead this conversation, you made that mental note to yourself earlier prior to leaving your place, and you were going to say everything you had to say to him that maybe you never had the courage to do so in the past. “you didn’t need me here to win.”
he frowned. “winning is the last thing on my mind today, honestly.”
“that’s not a good mindset for an athlete.”
“it isn’t.”
you pursed your lips. “still, you won.”
“i guess, i did, huh?”
“without me there too.”
“yeah, you already said so.” although he didn’t appear resentful, he sounded bitter. “are you going to keep repeating that because you want to prove that even without you, i’ll be okay?”
“that wasn’t my intention.”
“then what is your intention exactly? i thought you said that if you didn’t come today, then that would mean that you’re not willing to give me a second chance.”
“and yet… i’m here, guk.”
he raised his eyebrows. “you are, but you were… you’re late.”
“because i chickened out.”
“you chickened out?”
you moved forward and sat on the empty bench across him. it was a lot easier to pour your heart out when doing that was only done through your imagination. “i was supposed to be here earlier. it’s just, uh, i… i’ve been—i’ve been stalling.”
it was true. you were adamant last night that you were going to give him a second chance. you were confident that for the past few days, regardless of how short the span was, jeongguk managed to prove to you that he was serious in wanting to commit to a real relationship with you. you saw that in the manner he always looked after you, in the manner he made time for you, in the manner he didn’t shy away from showing you affection when he felt like it—you were convinced that even though he never said it out loud, he really liked you, because the things he did… you were positive that you didn’t just do that to someone you didn’t like.
but you were also really fucking scared. it dawned to you last night (while you were overthinking everything and talking to yourself) that it indeed hasn’t been that long and that you were being too easy again for jeongguk; you were laying yourself out to him without him struggling that much. and why? because you loved him, of course. because you were afraid that if you prolonged this, he would give up and you were going to be alone and hurt once more.
“hey.” jeongguk placed his hands over yours as he knelt in front of you, hair wet and expression sincere; you didn’t notice him walk towards where you were, you were too preoccupied in your thoughts again to catch it. “you don’t have to…” he struggled with what he was going to say, mostly because it wasn’t what he wanted to happen, “you don’t have to give me a second chance if you’re not up for it.”
“really?”
his heart dropped. it was only a hypothetical statement; he didn’t expect you to bite the idea.
“um…” he tried to speak, realizing that acting like a martyr isn’t part of his portfolio, but he was willing to act one right now to not make this harder for you. “i mean… it’ll suck ass, and i’ll probably cry for months, and i’ll beg you first not to date anyone else while we’re still studying in the same university—but after that, after i stop being a big baby about it,  i’ll…”
“you’ll what?” you were waiting for what he was going to tell you next. the corners of your mouth were turned slightly upwards at the hint of playfulness in his tone.
he scooted closer to you. fuck his knee; the high probability of it being bruised if he stays kneeled on the ground was the least of his worries. “i’ll stay by your side and i’ll try harder until you get tired of me. it’s what i told you the other day, didn’t i? i won’t ask you to be gentle with my feelings—i’ll let you torture me and walk me around like a dog. i’ll follow you wherever you’ll go, just patiently waiting ‘til you decide i’m worth your time. i’ll let you hurt my feelings, ____, because between us two, i know that it’s my heart that deserves a pretty good beating.”
you snorted at how dramatic his speech sounded. “hurting you is far from what i want. i’m not that sadistic.”
“then what is it that you want?”
“you.”
jeongguk couldn’t stop the smile from conquering his features. he got the answer he wanted to hear. “i want you too.”
“i don’t mean that in a horny way, okay?” you quickly clarified and he had the strength now to laugh. “i want you to be here for me—all the time—is what i mean. i want you to continue being my best friend, and i also want you to kiss me whenever you feel like it. i want you to annoy the shit out of me, i want you to hug me, i want you to volunteer to do the most random stuff just to help me, and i want you to keep proving that you want us to work, guk. i want you to always remind me that it’s safe to let my guard down and give you my 100% all the time.”
“i’ll do that, if that’s what you want,” he promised. “you can trust me, babe. you can even exceed that 100% and make it 200 or a thousand—” your laughter echoed in the locker room.
jeongguk joined you, laughing as well, but as he did, it was also sinking in that what happened between the both of you left a huge mark that made it difficult for you to trust him. he couldn’t blame you, no, not after what he did, and he was eager to change that. he was optimistic that he could do that—because he knew it inside him that he has strong feelings for you. he could even say that he loved you and it would feel right.
“i’m sorry for being late,” you said.
he shook his head. “don’t be. i kind of deserved it.”
“well, you’re not wrong.”
“wow. you’re not a sadist, huh?”
you snickered; jeongguk grinned. he thought that he could stay in this moment forever, just you and him staring at each other, this unexplainable yet gooey feeling in your chests making it seem like everything was going to turn out fine.
and then he asked, “can i kiss you?”
your eyebrows rose. you remembered the last time he asked you that, when you were both in the middle of sex and you were hesitant to grant him that kiss because you were afraid of the repercussions that would soon come after once you did. yet, thinking more about the moment, he didn’t really ask you before, really; it was more like a demand, a plea, and it was different from what he was doing right now because despite appearing like he could beg just to get that kiss, it was still so sincere and was done out of—
love.
love? he hasn’t said that out loud before. you didn’t want to assume. but the way he was gazing at you…
you placed your palms on his cheeks while he didn’t hesitate in extending his arms so that they were circled around your waist, pulling you closer that unconsciously caused you to open your legs to make space for his upper body. 
“doesn’t your knee hurt?” you whispered.
jeongguk pressed his lips together. “it’s tolerable.”
there you were again, with that infectious laugh, leading jeongguk to be tempted further to just kiss you without waiting for an answer. “okay, guk.”
he gave you a questioning look.
you rolled your eyes. “yeah. you can kiss me. but if you do...” you trailed, “that would mean that you’re taking the lucky opportunity of being my boyfriend.”
“i’ll make sure to thank you every day for that wonderful honor.” he allowed himself to push forward and kiss your lips. it was what he was dying to do for the past week; it wasn’t enough that he was only close to you or had the permission to hug you every now and then—his body craved to have you close, not in a manner that was horny like disclaimed just seconds ago too, but for all the reasons that you illustrated as well. 
kissing you gave him the signal that you were close. and god, did he always want you close.
“i’ll be better,” he murmured, kissing you continously. “i’ll treat you better, ____.”
you didn’t answer. you just smiled and kissed him further.
when for the past months, having your mouth on his was the thing you had to avoid the most, finally having the liberty to do it now just drove you to do it over and over again.
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note. hehe surprise? this update took so long that i think it took two whole damn years before i got the motivation to write again and finish this 😭 apologies for that lmao. life has been a whirlwind but since i'm now in a much happier state, i decided to try continuing this and i'm glad that it ended up with me finally concluding the story :D
honestly, i'm not too sure if got the vibes / essence of the story still since i haven't touched this mini series in such a long time. nonetheless, i did reread it and i hope that i brought justice to what you might have thought the ending was going to be! (also, i might edit this later on for improvement bc i just realized that my writing perhaps did not improve lmao but for now, this is what i can only offer >.<)
as always, THANK YOU FOR READING & FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED ! ♡(ˆ‿ˆԅ)
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taglist (1/3): @fan-ati--c @marknee @sexymenandcuteanimals101 @jiminisnotavirgin @joondala @afangirllikeme-blog @jxxvk @this-is-seriousbusinesz @swga-ficrecs @apollukee @bloopkook @jaerisdiction @thisartemisnevermisses @koolvrr @wearenot7withu @brilliantmoon7 @naturules @betysotelo18 @jinyoungie0922 @codeinebelle @minimoni7 @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @moonchild1 @taeshuworld @daydreambrliever @lilyflowerguk @rjsmochii @namjeonii @drownforryou @sugapiie @emeriroth @xius-exos @sw33tnight @lunaoceanchild @outropjmm @dojacandy @brit97 @abyjil @haruharux23 @haniiii @callmejimmeo @itsalyssa15 @hinawariinoue97 @libra04 @gukkmoans (striked means tumblr won’t let me tag them!)
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zombieunicorngamerzu · 10 months
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“HEAT WEEK”
(Warnings - Aged up characters to 18, Werewolf heats, threesome, Dom Wednesday, GIP switch Enid, breeding, penetration, p n v, anal, love confessions, soft to rough sex, strapons)
The last thing you expected today was to have your door knocked on while you were studying, plus it was a Saturday, there were no classes and you didn’t really have any friends, you were more of a loner that people liked.
Getting up from your bed with a look of slight confusion on your face as you walked to the door and opened it you were more than surprised at a slightly disheveled looking Wednesday, which was shocking because Wednesday always looked perfect, but now she seemed… nervous Mabye?
“Y/N, I need to talk to you.” She spoke with the same monotonous voice she usually does, only it was hinted with a haste.
You just raised a brow, opening the door for her to come in, “Okay?” you drew out your words to try to emphasize your confusion as Wednesday walked past you without a glance before stopping in the middle of your room to speak, “Do you know what season it is?”
Her question stunted you mentally, it was so random so you just answered, “Fall?”
She just scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Yes, it’s fall but also it’s mating season for the werecreatures.”
Your eyes widened in acknowledgment before your let out a auditable, “Ohhh…” before speaking again with a sorry smile, “You struggling with Enid?”
Wednesday frowned immediately, crossing her arms in defense, “Absolutely not, I can take care of my lover perfectly fine, exceptionally actually… which is why I came here.” She nodded with a sigh before looking up at you.
You were even more confused now, “What do I have to do with your love life?”
“Y/N, are you really so dumb?” Wednesday sighed out in annoyance as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, she wasn’t good with acts of affection or confessions so she just said it how it was, “Both me and Enid want you to come to our dorm to have a threesome and possibly explore a relationship after that.”
You froze, Jesus Christ that was blunt. But that’s what Wednesday was if anything, blunt and well- honest to you at least. It came as a shock, both Enid and Wednesday did treat you well when you came across them, you just didn’t leave your room much or speak with anyone, but you didn’t know they liked you. Mabye you should have learned from the heart eyes from Enid and the gifts from Wednesday at your doorstep every Friday.
“You like me?”
Wednesday just nodded and stepped forward to gently take your hand in hers, “Yes, okay? I do, is it that hard for your thick skull to comprehend that someone could like you?”
You swallowed at the closeness and her words, blushing at how close she was now, looking up at you, her lips inches from here as she stared at your lips before leaning in and pressing her lips against yours.
You kissed her back tenderly before pulling away slightly with a blush, speaking so soft, “Thank you.”
Wednesday just smirked, “Don’t thank me yet, come on, Enid’s gonna break out of those ropes and come find us herself if I take too long.” Wednesday spoke out before pulling you out of your dorm room and practically dragging you to hers.
As soon as you got in the door the first thing you say was Enid naked on her side of her room that was decorated with adorable items and colors, she was tied with her hands up against her headboard, her chest heaving, her body sweaty, and her cock painfully hard, her hips bucking with need as she whined through a muzzle Wednesday must have put on her.
“You put a muzzle on her?” You look at Wednesday who shrugged, “She’s a biter when she’s in heat, so unless you want her teeth sinking into you, the muzzle stays on.” She spoke firmly making Enid whine pathetically from the bed, your eyes flickering to hers. As soon as you met her eyes your expression softened, “It’s okay, Enid, I’m right here.” You spoke through your mind, that was your powers, telepathy, and other things being a witch entailed.
“Take your clothes off.” Wednesday interrupted your thoughts with her order, making you jump before blushing as you nodded timidly, hesitating enough for both Enid and Wednesday to notice, surprisingly enough as you were distracted Wednesday must have untied and unmuzzled Enid because the next thing you knew gentle hands went over yours that were clinging to your shirt.
“Y/N, if you don’t wanna do this I understand.” Enid spoke so gently as she took your hands in hers with a soft smile, she was still sweating and panting with need, clearly uncomfortable, and yet all she cared was your comfort.
You shook your head, “N-No, it’s not that, I just- I don’t really like the way my body looks.” You admitted shamefully, it was your deepest secret, you struggled with a eating disorder and bad body image issues your whole life, making you either binge or starve, so sometimes you were curvier and other times you were thinner, you were kinda in the middle right now but it still made you feel self conscious.
“Y/N, your beautiful, how can you even think stuff like that!” Enid looked so shocked, even Wednesdays eyes widened from where she stood behind her. Wednesday was extremely hard to read but now that she just heard you practically say you hated yourself, it only made her love for you grow as she stepped forward, “Cara Mia, you are one of the most beautiful women I have come across and I mean that in many ways, you are genuine, authentic, you don’t care what others think of you, you are always trying your best, and your body… Cara Mia, if you hate it, I adore it.”
Your eyes watered a little bit at both of them, you thought you were just coming here to fuck, but no, their actually saying sweet things enough to make you almost cry, wiping your eyes before Enid took your hands to pull them down and kissed both of your cheeks, “Your so pretty, Y/N, will you let us show you how pretty we think you are?” She asked with a adorable little smile.
With both of their reassurance, especially Wednesday’s you felt better about about letting them both undress you, Wednesday’s gentle pull of your shirt above your head while Enid Kneeled down to take off your bottoms, sliding the fabric down your thighs while practically drooling with the need she felt for you but she knew she had to look up at Wednesday for permission, “Wednesday please, can I?” Enid pleaded.
Wednesday just rolled her eyes with a nod at Enid’s eagerness before Enid was burying her face between your thighs, making you gasp as she darted out her tongue in a long lick through your wet folds, making you shutter, but Wednesday held you up. You could only moan and thread your fingers into Enid’s hair while she worked her tongue back and forth against your clit, “Fuckkk, Enid- I-Oh my god…” You whimpered out, making Wednesday smirk, husking out as she looked down at Enid, “Yeah, good at using that tongue isn’t she? Like a mutt.”
You shuttered at the whiney moan Enid let out against your clit at a Wednesday’s degradation, watching as Wednesday pushed Enid closer to your cunt when she saw you start to shake, practically barking orders at Enid, “Don’t you dare fucking stop until she comes or you won’t be tonight at all.”
Enid whimpered at the thought of not being able to cum, her tongue definitely worked quicker, her cock throbbing painfully, leaking pre-cum all over the floor as she ate you out with vigor, making you shake before you were tensing with a loud cry at the rough feeling of Enid’s tongue dragging back and forth over your clit before she sucked, making your eyes roll back with a moan as you came, and Enid licked up every drop.
“That’s it mutt, clean up her mess, good girl.” Wednesday muttered before shoving Enid away from you, barking an order to get back on the bed as she snapped, making Enid whimper and obey immediately before Wednesday turned your head, her eyes softer as she glanced at your lips and kissed you before pulling back, “You ready for more, sweet girl?”
God… you were getting whiplash at Wednesdays mood swings, just nodding dumbly as you leant your head back on her shoulder. She guided you over to the bed, making sit back against her bare chest with her sitting behind you, arms wrapped around your waist as she kissed your shoulder and explored your skin, squeezing your breasts, stroking your hips, rubbing your stomach before sliding her hand down further to touch your clit, making you gasp from the sensitivity, but she soothed you with a kiss to the shoulder, “Shhh… Cara Mia, let me have my turn.”
You whined when you felt Wednesday’s fingers dip down to your entrance, you were wet, but most of all sensitive, moaning as she pushed a finger and then two inside you, working them at a steady pace, jerking her hand with her palm rubbing your clit, fingers curling repeatedly against that sweet spot deep inside you… gods… she played you like she played her violin, and you were singing all the right cords, your orgasm building quick until it slammed into you harder than the last, crying out as you arched and shook, Wednesday’s moan sounding out in your ear as she felt you clench around her fingers and soak them with your cum, a smirk on her face as she praised you, “Good girl…”
You were a trembling mess when she slowly pulled her fingers out, you didn’t know if you could take more, but you knew more was coming when Enid scooted up, leaning over you to kiss you deep and tender before pulling back with a soft anxious voice, “Tell us if your uncomfortable, okay?” You just nodded with a soft shaky sigh, looking down to see Enid’s cock looking painfully hard, dripping pre-cum, speaking out softly, “It’s okay, I-I want you, i-I want you both.”
The smile that grew on both of their faces made your heart melt, Enid looked at Wednesday once again for permission which she responded by nodding and kissing your shoulder, mumbling out, “Fuck her good babygirl, make her cry for us.” The tone in which Wednesday husked that out made a shiver go down your spine before you were caught off guard by Enid sliding her tip against your slit, making you jerk with a gasp before Wednesday’s pulled you back more firmly against her, “Don’t squirm, Cara Mia, just focus on the pleasure.”
You nodded before closing your eyes to focus on the feeling of Enid’s cock slowly stretching your hole, groaning out a moan of pleasure as she started to push in slowly, Enid’s sweet whiney moan sounding out as she whimpered at your heat, pumping her hips with quick breaths, biting her lip as she shuttered, “Oh God… Oh my God! Wednesday, she feels so good, oh fuck..” Enid sounded like she was about to cry, you stroked her back and that made her shiver with a growl of pleasure as she shoved in deeper, her cock filling you up, every inch stretching your tight cunt around her before she started a punishing pace.
You whimpered and whined as you held onto Wednesdays hand while Enid pounded into you, her hands on your hips to keep you pinned down as she slammed her cock into you at a ravishing pace, the stretch around her thick cock, the fullness, the feeling of her grazing against your gspot every time she thrusted, it was building you up quick, your moans getting lower and more primal along with Enid’s growls made Wednesday moan as she slipped her hand down to rub her own clit, her eyes locked on you two as Enid fucked you ruthlessly.
It was clear all three of you were getting close by the sounds of your moans, you saw Enid struggle her page getting sloppy before she pleaded out, “Wednesday, please, please can I cum in her, please!” The sound of her begging to cum in you made you groan out, the thought of feeling her seed squirt and fill inside you made you cry out and cum on the spot, which in return made Enid cry out in surprise as she thrusted in deep, cum shooting inside you faster than Enid could squeal as Wednesday moaned out shakily at the sight and sounds, all three of you finishing together, trembling, panting, whining, whimpering, or moaning…
It took a few minutes for things to calm before Wednesday spoke out in monotone, “Enid, did you just cum without my permission?” The silence was deafening, Enid’s face pressed against your breasts as you felt her tremble and whimper out, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Wednesday just scoffed before sitting up, getting up to slap Enid on the ass which made her Yelp and buck into you again, making you whine from the fullness already, you we’re already spilling cum out around Enid’s cock all over the sheets.
“Stay.” Wednesday ordered Enid as she got up, you watched her walk over to the dresser with soft moans as Enid grinded against you to continue your pleasure, Wednesday pulling out a thick strapon with a bottle of lube which only made Enid whine, “Wednesday please…”
“Shut up.” Wednesday barked as she strapped it on and walked back over slowly, settling behind Enid while she was still inside you before you noticed this whole time Enid had been wearing a buttplug, listening to Enid whimper and feeling her shiver and twitch inside you with a groan as Wednesday pulled it out of her to replace with the tip of her lubed up cock, her voice dark, “Your gonna keep fucking our precious girl while I…”
Wednesday rubbed her hand over Enid’s soft ass, slapping it harshly which made Enid Yelp louder before she cried as Wednesday shoved her cock in her ass. Enid clung to you like a lifeline, whimpering as she started to thrust so she had to meet Wednesday as she fucked into Enid, making her cry, “Wednesday…” She laughed at Enid’s crying before kissing her back and thrusting harder which made Enid lurch as you felt her cock twitch inside you as she screamed, cumming again so hard inside you, feeling her cum fill you until you were achingly full, Wednesday ramming her hips into Enid’s ass as she came before moaning herself at the sight, her voice breathless… “Fuck, we’re doing this more often.”
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fallstaticexit · 28 days
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The Art of Being Seen - a Nancy Landgraab story
୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨
𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔒𝔫𝔢 - 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔥
Prev / Next
AN / Transcript under the cut
AN: Nancy's story will consist of 3 parts: Part One- Youth | Part Two - Uni | Part Three - Wife Three pivotal moments in Nancy’s life that shaped the Nancy we know today.
As mentioned in the prologue, this story may contain mature and possibly even uncomfy themes and all posts will have their corresponding trigger warners in the post as well as the tags. Trigger Warnings are: Homophobia / Religious Trauma / Death via Car Accident/ Drugs / Alcohol / Infidelity / Sex & Nudity
Also, I have experienced CAS burnout lately, so I aged down most of the townies to teens lol. I figured this version of Cassandra Goth can be the AU version since I’ve already wrote Bella and Morti Goth into my Briar legacy, which this story is apart of that universe.
Transcript:
Cassie: This is Blair Hall, the senior girls’ dorm, and if you ask me, it’s the best one. We have our own private library. Down there is the rec room; we’re not allowed to have the boys over unless it’s with a chaperone.
Cassie: We’re also the closest to the church, which is great for when we have group sessions before service. You won’t have to rush and scarf down breakfast, plus you can sleep in a little!
Nancy: [sarcastically] Gee, how’d I get so lucky?
Cassie: Sister Agnes always says, It’s not luck—it’s a blessing! Vacancies are hard to come by. My old roomie withdrew; she had a really hard time fitting in with the other girls. They can be... kind of intense.
Dina: Oh, look. Another pretty blonde rich girl. Like those aren’t a dime a dozen here.
Nina: [scoffs] Here we go...
Dina: I am not joking. I better not catch her ass around Don. The last hoochie he was tonguing down was also a skinny, flat-chested, blonde bimbo.
Vanessa: You need to put his weenie in a cage instead of fighting every girl that breathes the same air as him.
Dina: Well, he wouldn’t be tempted if these floozies would stay away from my man!
Vanessa: I guess dyeing your hair blonde isn’t working for you, huh?
Dina: Oh, shut it, VV. You’re just jealous he isn’t into redheads.
Nina: Hmm, I thought he was into redheads though.
Dina: Ugh, as if!
Cassie: You can pretty much decorate your space however you want. Just nothing that’s on the prohibited list. There’s a room check every night before curfew, and-
Nancy: What do you know about that redhead on the balcony?
Cassie: Dina?
Nancy: No, she said her name was Vanessa. I ran into her this morning but she didn’t mention her last name.
Cassie: Oh, yeah! VV. Vanessa Villareal. She’s- eh, one of the mean girls. I try to stay out their way. Probably best you do the same.
Nancy: [softly to herself] Villareal. So, she’s old money, too.
Cassie: Her family built the school. Guess that’s why she feels like she can do whatever she wants- eh, don’t tell anyone I said that!
Cassie: But, erm, you’re welcome to hang out with me and my friends during rec and lunch and stuff. I know how tough it can, being the new girl and all.
Nancy: Yeah? ...thanks- Cassie, was it?
Cassie: You’ll totally like my friends. They’re the coolest people on Earth.
Cassie: Definitely better than some people. You can tell who goes here because of their faith and who was forced here because of their lack of it.
Cassie: Hey guys! This is Nancy, she’s my new roomie.
Bob: No way, they filled Angela’s spot already? Money talks. I’m Bob, or Bobby, and this cool, tall drink of water is Geoffrey. Welcome to Paradise.
Bob: [whispers] Geoffrey! Say something to the pretty girl!
Geoffrey: [voice cracks] W-we’ve um, met already.
Geoffrey: Our dad’s are friends. I just haven’t seen her since we were 10 years old. She looks so... different.
Bob: Oh, I seeee. First love? Your ears are beet red, my man.
Bob: Take a seat, newbie! Are you into D&D, perchance?
Nancy: I have no idea what that is.
Bob: Oh, ho ho! You’re in for a treat, m’lady. I’ll catch you up from the beginning of our campaign.
Vanessa: You look so bored. Want to get out of here, new girl?
Vanessa: Don’t worry, I’ll return you back to your nerds in one piece.
Cassie: [grumbles] Um, hello, we’re sitting right here?
Nancy: Go where, exactly? This place is in the middle of nowhere.
Vanessa: Guess you’ll have to come and find out.
Nancy VO: [I learned then, that I would follow her anywhere]
Dina: There she goes, taking in another stray.
Nancy VO: [All she had to do was take my hand]
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leahsgf · 2 months
Note
Ooh could write about Bubba's first word?? Maybe at a training session with Leah going from serious football player to an emotional softie because her bubba has just said her first word
FIRST WORDS - leah williamson
leah williamson x child!reader | bubba masterlist
this is such a cute idea :( i can just picture her getting so emotional at every little milestone her bubba has
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leah could tell that you were on the verge of talking any day now. your babbles were slowly becoming more and more understandable and frequent, and as much as her teammates made fun of her for it, she felt like you were beginning to grasp and react to what she was saying when she spoke to you.
she had been desperately trying to get you to finally say your first word at every possible moment, even getting the england girls to call her ‘mama’ when around you on international break in hopes that it’d encourage you.
of course, that didn’t happen, and typical williamson style, you picked an absolute moment to actually do it.
you were in the arsenal changing room, toddling around aimlessly (your newest skill that you’d picked up randomly the week after your first birthday - skipping crawling entirely and just standing up and walking one day) whilst leah lectured the team after a particularly weak training session.
they just let you be, knowing that you’d only be properly content for more than a few minutes in your mother’s arms especially now viv was gone, and with how enthusiastic her angry hand gestures had become as she spoke, that wasn’t possible.
you were happily playing with your stuffed gunnersaurus, your all time favourite toy, not that leah would allow it to possibly be anything else, when it was ripped from your hold and held behind someone’s back - just out of your reach.
you didn’t even need to look up to know who had taken it, a certain young australian having a tendency to tease you often, in exactly the same way every time.
you whined and pulled at her shorts, a grumpy expression, much like the one your mum was currently also wearing across your features.
“kyra stop it, give it back to her.” steph whispered through gritted teeth, kicking her subtly - not wanting to disturb her vice captain, especially not mid rant.
“i don’t have anything!” kyra protested, her voice a notch too high, earning a slight glare from kim, who stood beside leah, nodding in agreement and pitching into the conversation every now and again.
only kyra would have this fight with a one year old.
your whines very quickly turned into whimpers, and you were heading towards a full blown meltdown unless you were given back your teddy, which never happened that easily, or comforted. usually, you found kyra’s teasing funny and would giggle along or playfully smack her until she gave it back to you - but this talk had run over into your nap time, and you had suddenly become very sick of not being cuddled.
so, you did the only thing you could think of.
“mama.”
“so we need to go into these games with the attitude that we actually want to be there! cause at the moment it’s looking-” the entire room fell into silence as they turned to face you, leah choking on her own words as she looked across to you in disbelief - the realisation of what you just said hitting her.
“did she just-”
leah could only nod, not even knowing who she was replying to as her frown immediately switched to the biggest grin, and tears threatened to spill down her cheeks, a complete contrast to how stern she had been minutes, seconds even, prior.
“mama” you whined, frustrated still and not understanding why the room had suddenly gone silent - running over to her and not even having to use your grabby hands for once as she instantly scooped you up into her arms.
“oh my clever, clever girl! i’m here bubba, mama’s here.” she peppered kisses all over your face, throwing you up in the air and catching you with pure joy - as you giggled and beamed at her, your incoming meltdown long forgotten.
“well it’s official kyra the baby is smarter than you! how does that feel?” caitlin cackled, earning a wave of laughter across the room.
“hey technically you should all me thanking me, so you’re welcome?” she responded in an attempt to be clever - it instead coming out like a question as she handed leah back the dinosaur, still slightly intimidated by her, but to her relief the blonde simply shook her head in response, too overwhelmed and now soft to care.
she’s sure that one day she’ll find you saying her name constantly a little much, and would learn early on that you very much take after her in the yapping department.
but for now - as she cradled you and you gently patted away her tears, repeating her name over and over, it’s one of the best days of her life.
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lloydskywalkers · 24 days
Text
moats and boats and waterfalls
Read on AO3
Post-Crystalized — after surviving apocalypse no. 2 (possibly 3, currently under debate) the ninja now face the unspeakable horrors of budgeting.
(Years late to the Crystalized party but here's part one of my seven billion fanfics about this season because there are Thoughts to be had about this one)
As it turns out, rebuilding a monastery is a whole lot more trouble than rebuilding the Bounty for the eightieth time. 
And by trouble, Cole means incredibly expensive.
“Re-installing central heating costs what?!” 
Kai’s horrified cry reverberates throughout the half-constructed monastery, the echo from the noticeably empty rooms only adding to insult. 
Oh, what Cole would give to have his bed back. 
“I guess we’ll have to use you during the winter,” Nya sighs, patting Kai on the back. “Lloyd, get ready to supercharge him.”
“Forget heating, do you know how much Wi-Fi costs?” Lloyd stares at the estimated summary like it’s personally kicked his pet. “Who even has that much money? God?”
“If god had money, he could’ve given Sensei Wu his inheritance and we’d all be loaded,” Jay mutters. “But noooo, ‘material possessions are the death of the soul’, blah blah blah, we’ll see whose soul is dead when the gas cuts out and he can’t make midnight tea anymore.” 
“It does seem a bit extreme, looking at it all like this,” Zane remarks. Somewhat ironically, as he’s taken one look at the bill then wisely retreated across the room. 
“Well, blowing up the entire monastery with us in it was extreme, so it figures repairs are just as bad,” Nya grumbles. 
They all shift, the mood dampening at the reminder. 
Lloyd opens his mouth. “I’m sor—”
“Do not,” Kai stabs a finger at him. “Even try.”
Lloyd slumps. “If I hadn’t gotten caught—”
“We all agreed to the plan, okay?” Cole says. “Also, no one knew we’d be sending you to Harumi, so the whole thing was doomed from the start.”
While he looks a bit miffed, Lloyd gives it up. Though perhaps that’s mostly in part because he desperately wants to avoid any more conversation about—
“So speaking of Harumi,” Jay starts. 
Lloyd springs for the window. 
Unfortunately for Lloyd, said window is currently boarded up by heavy-duty plywood, since quality window glass fell low on the list of priorities, which gives Kai plenty of time to tackle him before he can even raise his leg to kick it in. 
“No!” Zane cries. “We can’t afford anymore plywood!”
“Or like, Band-Aids at bare minimum, so don’t you dare!” Nya adds. 
“—overdramatic phase has gotta go, what are you, five — hey, no biting!”
Lloyd makes a muffled sound as he wrestles on the floor with Kai. Cole turns, very slowly, to glare at Jay.
“Oh come on, we were all thinking it,” Jay defends, reluctantly standing to help pry Lloyd from the floor. “Fine, hey, I promise we won’t talk about certain loser ex-princesses who are nice and cozy in their prison cells right now, okay? There, there, little gremlin, she can’t hurt you anymore—”
“I’ll bite you next,” Lloyd threatens, but he returns to his seat, wincing as Kai scuffs his hair. 
“Turn Oni again, and that might be an actual threat.”
Lloyd startles terribly, staring at Kai with wide eyes. “That’s — not — I wouldn’t—”
“Kai,” Nya hisses.
“Woah, hey, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” Kai says quickly. “It’s supposed to be positive reinforcement! Easing it into a normal thing, y’know?”
Lloyd growls. “Nothing about this is a normal thing—”
“Except none of us are normal, so therefore it is,” Kai interrupts him smoothly. “Also we already loved you when you were a tiny demon, turning into a literal one is nothing. Give us some credit.” 
Lloyd pulls his hood over his flaming face, thunking his head against the table. Kai pats him cheerfully on the shoulder. 
“Additionally, unless we can swindle someone by selling Lloyd in his Oni form on the black market for cold cash before stealing him back, I don’t see how this helps matters.”
Zane finds himself on the receiving end of five blank stares. Lloyd, successfully having been pulled from his hood, whistles. 
“I forget how evil you can be, sometimes.”
Kai gapes at him. “So that makes you feel better?”
“I mean, in terms of normalizing it—”
“Alright!” Cole slams his hands on the table, silencing them all. He glares them down. “Meeting room in five. We’re figuring out how to make this place livable if it kills us.”
There’s a brief silence, then Jay hesitantly raises his hand.
“Hey, so uh, we kinda don’t have a meeting room right now?”
Cole collapses on the table in despair. 
---
Twenty minutes and one session of shoving chairs into what could have been the living room later — it’s hard to tell, with all the construction markings and plywood still up — they’ve kicked off the official first meeting of the Finish-Making-the-Monastery-Livable plan. 
“Alright,” Lloyd announces, brushing his hands as he steps back from the chalkboard that may or may not have been stolen. “At the top of the list we have Wi-Fi, central air and heating, beds — huh, maybe those should go higher — running water, electricity — that one’s debatable, me and Jay can tag-team it if we get desperate — blankets-slash-pillows-slash-etcetera, stuff to cook with, actual food — y’know what, I’m putting that closer to the top—”
“So basically, we have nothing,” Cole says blankly. 
Lloyd glances at the list, then to the sliver of chalk left in his hands. “Uh. Yeah.” 
“Take the weaponry, sure, but all my albums?” Jay mourns. “I spent years collecting those.” 
“I lost the blanket we stole from that super fancy apartment we lived in for like five minutes when Lloyd was a kid,” Kai sighs. “That thing literally made it through the apocalypse, just to bite it now.” 
“Two apocalypses too many,” Nya says.
“Did the Preeminent count as an apocalypse? Like, a minor one?”
“Three apocalypses. It took three apocalypses to vaporize my closet,” Cole sinks lower in his seat. “Man, the hoodie you got me for my birthday was in there.” 
“All of our photographs are lost, too.” Zane stares at his hands. 
Lloyd murmurs something under his breath that sounds a lot like family pictures and figures. 
The mood plummets a bit more, after that. 
“Motherfu—”
“Alright, this isn’t helping,” Cole claps his hands. “We can all cry again later. Lloyd, overall mission status conclusion?”
“Well, like you said, we basically have nothing,” Lloyd sighs. “So unless Zane wants to stop chickening out and abandon his morals so we can just hack into everything and get it free, we need to find some way to pay for all this.”
“Again, I cannot hack in to rebuilding an entire cooling unit throughout the monastery, much less make the latest clothing line from Gucci materialize,” Zane says. Kai swears. “Also, that is called stealing.” 
“You call it stealing, I call it a charitable donation,” Nya says. “I turned into the ocean for this city, the least they can do is cut me a check.” 
“Besides, even if it is stealing, what are they gonna do, send us to jail again?” Jay scoffs.
Lloyd jabs the piece of chalk in his direction. “Don’t jinx us.” 
“Too bad we wasted our chance at crime and didn’t even get rich,” Kai mutters. “All we got was Nya.”
He yelps as she punches him in the arm. “What, too soon?”
“You should be so lucky to have me,” she sniffs. 
“Hey, but going on the donation thought train — do we know anyone who’s rich?” Jay asks. “Why don’t we have any rich friends?”
“Hey, you know what’s rich? That coming from the son of a billionaire.”
“Hey, you know what else got blown up? My inheritance!” 
“Please, let it go,” Zane says. “We do have rich friends, I’ll remind you, we’re friends with actual monarchy. But we can’t exactly go and ask anyone else for money, since they all already helped out so much in getting the monastery rebuilt.”
There’s a moment of pensive silence. Lloyd draws a little sad face on the chalkboard next to ASK FOR DONATIONS. 
“What if we just…sued Harumi,” Cole says. “Like, there’s gotta be some law that could work in our favor here.”
“I don’t think the court would go for that,” Lloyd mutters. “Since they’re all morally corrupt frauds who hate us.”
“Yeah! Down with the system!” Kai punches his fist in the air. 
“Also, Harumi likely has very little in the way of money, either,” Zane says. “Considering she blew up any and all assets she might have had claim to.”
“Haha, what a loser,” Nya crows.
“What if we sued Garmadon?” Cole tries. “The courts have to hate him more than they hate us.”
Lloyd scowls, scrawling a large NO on the chalkboard. “Not worth the effort. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’s still couch-surfing at Vinny’s, which means also penniless.”
“We could sue Kalmaar,” Nya cracks her knuckles.
“Isn’t he dead?” 
“Oh, yeah.” Nya looks disappointed. 
“Did anyone survive that we can sue successfully?” Jay muses. “And actually get money out of?”
“Vangelis,” Cole snaps his fingers. “Wait. No, we ousted him from the throne, so he’s probably broke too.”
“Vangelis survived?”
As they dissolve into bickering over the status of enemies potentially living-or-dead, Kai squints at the chalkboard, where Lloyd is still scratching out letters despite having completely lost the room. 
“We…are…fu—Lloyd!” 
“Well it’s true,” Lloyd huffs, finishing off his message with a flourish. “Tada. There’s my grand plan.”
“That’s not a plan, it’s a pessimistic estimation at how things are gonna go.”
“It’s extremely rude language, is what it is! I thought we taught you better.”
Lloyd simply looks pleased with himself at having recaptured the room’s attention. It is, of course, then that Sensei Wu walks into that room. He stops, looking from where they’re all frozen in place, then to the chalkboard. 
Lloyd pales. 
Sensei Wu pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers and closes his eyes. 
“My dearest nephew, you have three seconds to make that disappear, or I’ll be forced to—”
Lloyd springs for the chalkboard in record time, wiping frantically at his writing with the sleeve of his gi. 
“People would kill for that thing, and here he’s using it as a chalkboard eraser,” Jay mutters. 
It isn’t until later, when they’ve all retreated to the collective mass of blow-up mattress and borrowed blankets they’re calling a bedroom, that anyone breaches the topic again. 
There’s a loud rustling as Cole turns over where he’s precariously shoved between Kai and Zane. 
“…can we sue the mayor?”
There’s a noted pause of silence, only broken by the whirring of the cheap oscillating fan. 
“You know,” Zane says slowly. “In terms of slander and defamation…” 
An evil, sharp-toothed smile spreads across Lloyd’s face. “I like the sound of that.”
“Hey, let’s sue the new ninja, too,” Jay grins. “Can Pixal retroactively trademark our vibe?”
“You cannot sue them based on vibe appropriation.”
“Yeah, but I can sue them for impersonation.”
---
They cannot, as it turns out, sue the mayor, because legal work like that costs even more money. 
They can, however, ruin his year by filing (and forging) every possible insurance claim under the sun, so they all walk out of the office a little more satisfied than before. 
“I hope all your socks go missing in the laundry!” Nya yells toward the building as they hit the streets. “I hope you have a rock stuck in your shoe for the rest of your life! I hope you’re plagued with a mildly inconvenient headache every waking moment and never fully enjoy anything ever again!”
“Alright, alright, we’re getting looks,” Cole grabs her arm. “Let it go.”
“As much as I appreciate it, I am not going back to jail,” Jay shudders. “Twice was enough.”
Kai frowns. “Twice? When else did you get arrested?”
“We all did, re—” Jay cuts off, suddenly aware of the absolute daggers Nya is staring at him. “Uhhh…aw, snap, another mental breakdown, haha!”
“Is this the whole ‘we all have missing memories you guys are definitely hiding from us’ thing again? ‘Cause I swear—”
“I said I’m getting to it, it’s a really boring story anyways—”
“Didn’t you say you lost an eye—”
“Oh look, a window!”
This time, Jay is thwarted by Lloyd, who’s simply jumped out enough windows to recognize when someone’s about to try it themselves. Except Jay is aiming to jump inside a window this time, so they both go crashing into Pixal just as she joins them. 
To her credit, she barely flinches. “I thought I heard clown noises nearby.” 
Lloyd stares at her in such utter betrayal, the mental breakdown thing might become valid.  
“Pixal,” Jay simply begs. “Please. Help your clowns scavenge our clown dinners.”
Pixel surveys them all, a fond smile tugging at her lips. “There is a nice pizza place down the block.”
The cheers she’s met with nearly succeeded at knocking her over where Jay failed.  
Dinner that night comprises of actual, warm, take-out pizza, which nearly moves Cole to tears.
“Definitely changing the priorities order,” Lloyd says blissfully through a mouthful of cheese. “Food goes at the top, no questions.”
“Seconded,” Kai mumbles. 
“Thirded.”
“Fourthed.”
“I cannot believe, that after everything we’ve been through, we did not qualify for the post-apocalypse discount,” Zane bites out. 
“Well,” Jay says brightly. “Pixal hacked the card reader, so technically we got a hundred percent discount.”
Zane stares at her, in equally utter betrayal. “Pixal?”
She shrugs. “They can try to send me to prison. They will fail.” 
---
Two days later, Skylor cements herself as everybody’s most favorite person in the entire world by not only saving them from starvation by demanding they sit their butts down in the restaurant and eat for free, but also donating six pillows and a year’s worth of shampoo. 
“I know it’s not a lot, but I’m on the lookout for more,” she tells them. “I’ve asked other people to help chip in, too, so hopefully that’ll make things a little easier.”
“Skylor,” Cole nearly sobs into his new, beautiful pillow. “If Kai doesn’t marry you, I will.”
“H-hey!”
“No marriage necessary,” she snorts. “Consider keeping you all fed my way of saying thanks.”
“But you already helped out with the monastery,” Nya says, around the same time the rest of them assure her there’s no need for thanks, despite the fact that no one has the slightest desire to relinquish their food. 
“Fine, then,” Skyler huffs, her cheeks turning pink. “Make me say it out loud, will you — consider it my way of showing that I care about you all. Very much.” 
“Aww,” Lloyd says. 
Kai makes a face somewhere between melting and heart eyes. 
“I hate all of you,” she mutters. 
“We love you too, Skylor,” Cole grins. 
“Hate you!”
Despite her words, they all leave with six boxes of leftovers and free dessert. 
This, of course, brings another slightly-pressing issue to mind.  
---
They end up getting a refrigerator for a steal of a bargain, which is probably again influenced by Pixal’s criminal extremely generous activity. 
Given how enthusiastic they all are about getting it installed, Kai is half-expecting there to be no work left for him at all by the time he returns from the food run. 
He’s…not entirely disappointed when he walks into the kitchen, though he is rather baffled. 
The room freezes as if on record-scratch. Jay is perched on top of the counters, Lloyd has a sledgehammer raised halfway in the air, and Cole is on the ground beside the refrigerator crying. 
“What?” Kai asks, blankly. 
“The fridge…doesn’t fit…” Cole moans into the floor. 
“We didn’t leave enough space between the cabinets,” Jay informs him through a mouthful of gummy worms. “So the door can’t open.”
Kai looks at Lloyd. “So the sledgehammer is for…?”
“DIY home improvement,” he shrugs.
“Huh.” Kai glances at the cabinets. “Put some safety goggles on first, okay?”
Lloyd only gets about two swings in before Zane descends with the all wrath of the Ice Emperor and adds to the tally of times-the- Green-Ninja-almost-met-his-doom, but it’s fun while it lasts. 
They were ugly cabinets, anyways. 
---
While his love for his family could potentially fuel a nuclear power plant, Kai does grow tired of being the living team space heater rather quickly. 
The effort of keeping his power going all night just gets annoying (and exhausting) — so by the time he’s tagged in Lloyd to use his power to keep him going, they’re up to two moody ninja short on sleep, and no one wants to deal with that. 
While they’ve scrounged up a few dollar-store quality blankets, Jay takes the opportunity to highlight his accomplishments in arts-and-crafts.
“You mean your mom’s accomplishments.”
“Hey, we made it together! It counts.”
The it in question quickly gains the name “god-awful-t-shirt-blanket” simply because the blinding combination of all their cast-off shirts sewn together is impressively terrible. 
“I still think this is a waste of good clothes,” Kai grumbles. “It’s not like we have outfits to spare these days, you know.”
“Do you wanna keep heating the room at night or no?” Nya threatens. 
Kai quickly shuts his mouth and returns to sewing Cole’s old plaid shirt to one of Jay’s neon blue shirts that features a dolphin printed in enough colors to kill a man. 
“So, what do we think?” Lloyd steps back, wiping at his forehead with his arm as he surveys their masterpiece. 
Staring at the multi-colored mess they’ve patched together into a quilt, Nya announces, “It’s the ugliest blanket I’ve ever seen.”
“Harsh.”
“Hey, we did our best!”
“See if I ever sew for you again,” Lloyd huffs. 
“I didn’t say that was a bad thing,” Nya quickly interjects. “It looks a little like us!”
“Are you saying we’re ugly?!”
“Nya, no, our family genes are enough to carry us through this, I promise—”
---
They’re in the middle of figuring out how to steal Wi-Fi from the government when Tox drops by, Karloff in tow. 
“You really…need…to get an elevator…or something,” she pants, red-faced and sweaty as she hauls several large bags behind her.
In contrast, Karloff looks unfazed, casually toting a hideously floral-patterned sofa over his shoulder. 
“Skylor mentioned you need furniture, no?” he says. “It’s not much, but you need somewhere to sit.”
“Karloff,” Jay tells him, very seriously. “This is the most beautiful sofa I’ve ever seen.” 
“Haha! Karloff is right once again,” he brags to Tox. 
Tox stares at Jay in flabbergasted despair. 
“You can’t put that in your home,” she mutters. “You can’t. It’s a crime against eyes everywhere.”
“Well, it’s better than no sofa, and we’re literally turning down nothing these days,” Nya says cheerfully. She leans over to peer at the bags Tox has managed to drag up. “Speaking of…?”
“Oh, yeah.” Tox heaves the bags in front of her. “Skylor said you guys needed help interior decorating? So I brought a couple rugs. She also mentioned something about the ugliest blanket she’s ever seen, so we called up some of the other Elemental Masters and got like, six or seven together. They’re not exactly works of art, but they’re okay?”
Kai tears open the first bag, his eyes lighting up. “They’re beautiful,” he whispers reverently. “Hey, guys, we got blankets! Dibs on the one with a wolf.”
“Oh, no, not that one, it’s from my awful middle school phase—”
“What do you mean, dibs, I want the wolf one!”
“Oh yeah? Down to fight for it?”
“You’re on. Training ground in five.”
“Absolutely not, we are not fighting over a blanket we’ve been so generously gifted,” Zane snaps, snagging Kai and Cole by their collars. 
“Yeah, we also don’t really have a training ground anymore,” Lloyd says, half-buried in a blanket embroidered with countless bug-eyed fish. “It went ka-boom.”
Nya rubs her temples. “Zane?”
“Already factored into the expenses,” he sighs. 
“Oh wow, you guys weren’t kidding,” Tox says. “Do you want, uh, like a keychain? I have some mints here too I can donate…man, Karloff, help me out!” 
“Does the monastery need a metal helmet?”
“We’re really not that broke,” Nya says hastily, pushing away the offered mints. “But thanks.”
“Speak for yourself.” Lloyd snags the mints, clasping his hands together in prayer at Tox before slipping back into the emerging blanket battle. 
Nya sighs. “Do you guys want tea? We’ve got three whole mugs, now.”
Tox glances from the other ninja, where Jay has been successfully rolled into a blanket burrito and is in potential danger of being rolled right down the mountain, to Karloff, who’s the reason said danger is potential. 
“We can spare a minute, I guess.”
The t-shirt blanket is later relegated to the living room, where it lives as a throw blanket over Karloff’s floral sofa. They unanimously decide it’s the perfect home for it, and the only real critic is Skylor, who’s almost reduced to tears the next time she visits. 
---
They celebrate their achievement of having a living room by all eating dinner on Karloff’s floral-patterned couch. This comes with a good deal of kicking and squirming and the tragic loss of Kai’s fortune cookie, but they make it work. 
“This is kind of depressing, though. Sitting in the dark,” Nya remarks. 
A muscle in Jay’s jaw twitches. “Well, maybe if someone hadn’t melted all our candles—”
“You were the one who had the brilliant idea of trying to barbecue with them, genius!” Kai snaps. 
“It was a pretty spectacular fire,” Lloyd admits. Then, hastily, “In a really cool way!” 
“Perhaps a lamp should go next on the list,” Zane says. “Rather than relying on Kai as our light.”
“Hey, I’m a great light,” Kai scowls. “I’m the light of your life. I could light this place up all day!” 
“Yes, and I’m sure it would end similarly to the time you nearly burned down a building under the belief that you were achieving your true potential, but were, in fact, just dehydrated.”
Kai gapes at Zane in betrayal. “You said you’d take that to the grave!” 
Zane carefully laces his fingers together. “Technically, I did.”
“No you didn’t!” Jay interjects. “We never buried you, so you never had a grave! Ha!”
Zane looks affronted. “I didn’t get a grave?”
“You got a statue!” Kai quickly consoles . 
“Yeah, what’d you want us to do, pick your exploded pieces out of the street for half a year then toss ‘em in the ground?”
“Oh, as if that’s any worse than being left to pour your corpse out in cups of water.”
 “It wasn’t my corpse, I was still alive!”
“You were the literal ocean. Fish swam in you.” 
“Ew, does that mean—”
“Finish that sentence and I will drown you where you stand—”
“You’re all in desperate need of counseling,” Pixal mutters. 
“Tell me about it,” Lloyd says, leaning back on the armrest of the sofa. 
Cole shakes his head. “Lost causes, all of them.”
Pixal stares at them both, expression pinched, before deciding to respect the hopelessness of lost causes. 
“Hold on, I think Kai’s crying,” Lloyd moves to sit up, only to wobble, slip sideways, and go crashing to the floor gracelessly.  
“Just like when I fell to my doom off the Bounty,” Cole reminisces.  
 Pixal’s eyes glaze over. 
---
Later that evening, Pixal adds “therapy” to the list of potential expenses on the fridge door. Regretfully, it loses miserably in the debate against hot shower expenses, so it too joins the pile of repressed memories that will undoubtedly haunt them in the future. 
“But hey, a hot shower can cure depression on a good day,” Cole says, and that settles that. 
---
Hot showers, as it turns out, are a hard-won priority. 
It’s less so after Jay, Nya, and Pixal camp out overnight near the pipeline and perform their own less-than-legal maintenance, but one of Zane’s carefully filed insurance claims actually went through the other day, so they’re taking their luck as they can. 
It’s not until they get working on the bathroom itself that the true difficulty makes itself clear. 
“Hey, uh,” Kai stares down at the patch of rotted floor he’s ripped up, wiping at the fog that’s spread across his safety goggles. “Is the base layer supposed to look like that?”
“Look like what?” Cole abandons the tiling he’s been placing to glance over. His face drops. “Uh-oh.” 
“Is that all black mold?” Nya gags, nearly dropping her bottle of cleaning bleach.  
“FSM, no wonder we’re all crazy,” Cole mutters. 
“Alright,” Kai strips off his rubber gloves. “Nothing for it. Back up, guys, I’m barbecuing this baby.”
“Wait wait wait don’t—”
Ten minutes and a good deal of hacking and wheezing through teary eyes later, Cole murders Kai while they all look on. 
Well, he attempts to.
“You filled the monastery with chlorine gas, you absolute moron—!”
“How was I supposed to know that would happen, I’m not a chemist—”
Nya glares ahead darkly as Lloyd gingerly treats the reddened blisters on her hands. 
“None of you,” Zane says, through gritted teeth. “Are touching cleaning chemicals for a year.” 
---
“Not sure I wanna know how you pulled off poisoning yourselves, but I’m kinda impressed you did a better job of it than most criminals would,” Ronin tells them, once the monastery has been successfully de-chlorinated and the bathroom tiles firmly put in place, sans black mold. 
“Maybe we can hire ourselves out to them when we’re strapped for cash,” Nya sighs.
“We’re literally always strapped for cash. We’re broke.”
Ronin laughs, clapping Jay on the back. “Welcome to adulthood, kid.”
“I don’t think normal adulthood gets their home blown up on a regular basis,” Lloyd hisses.
“Fair point,” Ronin nods. 
“Well, thanks for saving us all from a slow and painful death,” Cole scrubs his hands over his face. “We can pay you back sometime in the next century. Maybe.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Ronin waves them off. “It’d be like kicking a dog when it’s down, askin’ you all to pay. Besides, I probably owe you one.”
“You sure do,” Jay glares. 
“Hey, hey, I said I was sorry for the whole human sacrifice thing,” Ronin placates. “Want some good news, at least?”
“Is it actually good news?” Lloyd eyes him shrewdly.
“Lighten up, captain trust issues.” Kai barely snags Lloyd before he lands himself back in jail. “I looked into some more of those insurance claims you filed, and you actually got somethin’ out of it. I, uh, helped the bank along a bit, with the refund.”
“Bank?” Cole whispers.
“Refund?” Jay’s eyes shine. 
“Yeah, got you all your checks right here,” Ronin says, tugging six neat envelopes from his jacket. “Just don’t blow ‘em all at once, okay? Haha.”
Zane looks as if he might propose to him on the spot. 
“Hey, this isn’t too bad!” Kai exclaims. “We got money!”
“Guys,” Lloyd says, staring at his check. “You know we should probably pool all this together and spend it on necessities, right?”
“Yeah,” Cole sighs. 
“It would be the smartest course of action,” Zane adds. 
There’s a noted silence.
“Or,” Lloyd says. 
---
In their defense, they spend exactly two-thirds of their checks on household items. 
Whether or not these are needed household items remains a debate. 
“If we’re all buying lamps for the living room, can we at least attempt to match?” Zane sighs. 
“Booo, where’s your joy and whimsy?” Jay sticks out his tongue. 
“That isn’t even a lamp, it’s a light-up axolotl.”
“The heck’s an axo-lot—”
“It lights up, doesn’t it? Ergo, it’s a lamp.”
“Ergo, what are you, Sensei Wu—”
“We’re never having guests over again,” Cole remarks, as Lloyd and Nya maneuver a five-foot-tall rendition of Godzilla into the shopping cart that may or may not light up. 
“The monastery’s gonna look rad as heck, we’re forcing everyone to come over and look at it,” Kai corrects as he tosses a set of flame-patterned curtains into the mess. 
“Absolutely not.” 
“I actually might like them,” Zane muses. “They would capture the energy of our kitchen perfectly.”
Kai beams. “Flame curtains are a go!” 
In the aftermath, they total around six individual blankets, five mismatching lamps and one light-up axolotl, a table that no one knows how to put together, one set of flame-patterned curtains, another hideous couch, and enough cutlery and kitchenware that no one has to eat out of Sensei Wu’s incense bowls anymore. 
“Alright,” Lloyd says. “We’ve got three hours until the stores start closing. Everyone take the rest of your checks, don’t think about how much of a disaster the monastery still is, and start thinking about how valid retail therapy is.” 
“Aye-aye,” Kai salutes, before immediately booking it for the clothing outlets. 
---
Three hours later, Kai’s happily blown his entire check on a new wardrobe and exactly one pair of name-brand brand shoes. He’s unreasonably proud of himself for his restraint, until he catches Cole with three pairs of his own name-brand shoes, and immediately regrets being responsible. 
He spots Jay going off in the N-Pop section of a music store, Nya investing in a sinfully-priced espresso machine, and Zane walking toward the clothing outlets himself with a high-quality pair of noise-cancelling headphones. 
He doesn’t find Lloyd until well after he’s picked up his own clothes, already sporting an oversized hoodie he could’ve just stolen from Kai. 
He’s more concerned when Lloyd proceeds to blow the last of his check at the sporting goods section of the local convenience store. Considering how long Lloyd spent looking wistfully at the candy aisle, Kai is baffled by the decision. 
He’s even more baffled when Lloyd proceeds to box up his purchase for delivery instead of keeping it himself.
He’s utterly horrified when he sees who it’s addressed to.
“Are you serious?!” he asks shrilly, torn between ripping the box from Lloyd’s hands or immediately calling the mental health hotline. “You’re sending her gifts?”
“It’s not a gift, it’s — look, it’s a long story, you wouldn’t get it,” Lloyd grumbles, plastering another layer of duct tape over the box. “Just help me deliver it to Kryptarium and I’ll show you, okay?”
Kai very much does not help, because he’s not an enabler and he cares about his brother’s mental health, but he does follow Lloyd to Kryptarium Prison and lurk behind him as he eagerly watches the surveillance screens. 
Harumi stares at the box before her, looking every bit as baffled as Kai is. 
“Who would send me a volleyball—”
She freezes, her face going utterly blank. A muscle in her jaw twitches. 
There’s a brief flash of what could be amusement, a brief expression as if she’s eaten something sour, then a fury like no other eclipses her face. 
“LLOYD! I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF, YOU THINK YOU’RE HILARIOUS—”
Lloyd’s still laughing by the time they’re escorted from the premises, hard enough that Kai has to catch him when he trips at the top of the steps. 
“What’d you even write on the note?” Kai finally asks, a bit in awe. 
Lloyd grins. “I told her good luck getting together her villainous volleyball team in jail.”
Kai blinks. “Do I…want to know?”
“Nope!” Lloyd says airily. “But I’ve made my point.”
---
Regardless of some behaviors, the mental health hotline remains a constant idea. It simply happens to come up at inconvenient times, such as when Cole drops a dresser on his foot halfway across the courtyard. 
He swears so loudly the whole monastery echoes with it. 
“Oh geez, Cole, are you okay? Why’d you lift the whole thing on your own?”
“We could have helped,” Zane rushes over. “You don’t have to do it all yourself—”
“Yes I do!” Cole yells. “I’m stronger than that, I’m supposed to be stronger, I have to be stronger or you’re all going to die next time—”
He cuts off abruptly. Zane looks heartbroken. Jay—
Is suddenly busy smacking Cole upside the head. 
“No, you don’t!” he snaps back, even louder. “You don’t have to do it by yourself! None of you do! Every time anyone tries to do something by themselves it all goes wrong and we lose someone, so we’re never — doing that — again!” 
He seizes Cole around the arms, his wild eyes meeting Cole’s wide ones. “No one blames you for the stupid tunnel. I don’t care how strong you are. We’re all here and that’s what matters, so don’t you dare put that at risk.”
“But I—”
“No.”
“Jay, I—”
“No.”
“I—”
“No!” A manic expression overtakes Jay’s face. “No, no, no! No one’s taking the blame. No one’s isolating themselves. No. One. Is. Going. Off. Alone. You hear me?!” 
The others are frozen, halfway outstretched hands caught as if suspended in ice. Kai’s expression is twisted painfully. Lloyd’s eyes are on the ground. Zane is as frozen as the metaphorical ice, and Nya looks devastated. 
“No more being alone,” Jay says, the fire in his voice giving way to something wetter and considerably more sniffly. “No more. Don’t — you can’t—”
“Okay,” Cole whispers. He carefully takes Jay’s hands from his shoulders, grasping them in his own instead. “Okay. No more going at it alone. I promise.”  
 The monastery courtyard seems a little colder, in the silence.  
“Anyone feel like circling back to the whole ‘suing Harumi’ idea?” Kai finally speaks up. 
Jay gives a wet snort. 
“Well, we’re probably gonna need to afford tissues,” Lloyd says. His own voice isn’t exactly dry, either. 
---
The downside to sticking therapy smack at the bottom of their priorities is that they all really are, in fact, not okay. 
Most of the time, they manage. 
There’s a solace in being together, a comfort in having the people you trust and care for most in the world right next to you when the nightmares get bad. When Jay awakens screaming for Nya or clutching at his throat for air, Nya is already holding his hand and Cole’s holding the rest of him.
When Zane lapses into silence too long, emotions a roiling mess that leave him paralyzed, Kai is there with one-two-three’s for breathing and Lloyd is there to draw little cats with him until the world subsides again. 
When Cole’s eyes shadow in training and his hits grow wild, Zane is there to pin him before he bloodies his hands and Jay is there to sing horrible off-key songs he loves until the panic ebbs.
When Nya stares at the water too-long, her eyes misty and her expression dreamy, Jay is there to hold her tight and Kai is there to talk until his voice goes hoarse and hers returns. 
There are other times, though, when it’s harder. 
It hits Kai this time about halfway through painting the walls of the kitchen a cheerful yellow, said paint splattered up to his elbows, courtesy of Lloyd. He glances down — to joke, to laugh, to not think—
And pauses. With the headband he’s stolen from Pixal in place, pushing back the mass of thick blond hair, Kai can just see the purple-red edges of the swollen, irritated wounds that scar Lloyd’s scalp. The twin marks are a better sight than when Kai first glimpsed them, bleeding circles that looked as if someone had drilled into Lloyd’s skull — but not by much. 
“S’fine,” Lloyd mutters, catching Kai’s devastated expression. “I can’t even feel ‘em. Not really.”
“Liar,” Kai rasps. “They look awful.”
Lloyd makes a face. “Gee, thanks a lot.”
“I mean it. What if they get infected, or worse, or — have you had Sensei look at them?”
Lloyd wraps his arms around himself, avoiding Kai’s eyes. “No. I didn’t really…I did what he asked. What they both did. And then screwed the whole thing up, so it was all useless anyways, so I—”
He bites his lip, hard enough to crack the already dry skin. 
“I don’t really wanna hear anyone telling me what else I’m doing wrong with myself, right now.” 
Kai is angry enough to feel sick. 
“That’s stupid. That’s so stupid, he should — it shouldn’t be like that, it’s — why didn’t anyone—” he shakes his head. “Why doesn’t anyone ever ask us if we wanna be — if we wanna—”
Lloyd’s hand closes around his wrist, gently tugging Kai’s own hand from where it’s clawed unconsciously at his arm, leaving ugly red stripes against his skin. 
“You asked,” he says, quietly. “That meant a lot.”
Kai looks away. “Lot of good it did.”
Lloyd’s grip tightens. “It meant the world to me,” he repeats, stronger this time. 
“But I couldn’t—!”
Lloyd abandons his hold on his wrist to wrap his arms around Kai entirely, holding tight. Bony and strong and familiar, Kai’s little brother to the core. 
“Thank you,” he says, fervently enough that Kai can feel the ache in his voice. “Thank you for looking out for me.”
Kai’s voice is a miserable mess of fought-back tears. “I couldn’t even do anything.” 
“You asked me what I wanted,” Lloyd says once again, and Kai can hear the edge of tears threatening his voice, now. “That was everything.” 
Giving in, Kai drops his head into the mess of blond curls and hugs Lloyd back. Lloyd’s hair smells like blood and paint and steel and the strawberry shampoo Skylor gave them, and now it’s gonna smell like Kai’s stupid snot and tears. 
“Hey, having another hug party without me is lame.” 
Kai gives a wet, broken response as Nya throws her arms around them both. 
“Idiots,” she murmurs, resting her head atop theirs. “I love you both, you know that?”
“Ew, gross,” Lloyd snorts wetly. “Hey Kai, Nya loves us.”
“Little jerk, who you callin’ gross? And here I thought you loved us too.” 
“Well obviously I love you guys back, who’s the idiot now—”
Kai simply clutches them both and cries harder, as if holding onto them will stop himself from falling apart.
It works, in the ways that matter, though it’s always because they’re holding back even tighter. 
Later that evening, Zane bathes Lloyd’s head in antiseptic and Jay forces them all to sit through the PowerPoint presentation he’s made with Nya titled “Every Super Cool Totally Good Character with Horns Ranked”. He loses them the minute he brings anime characters into it, as everyone suddenly develops incredibly passionate opinions about the rankees, but Lloyd’s laughing too hard to have his own opinion and Kai doesn’t feel like he’s drowning under inadequacy anymore — just choking to death under the weight of Jay’s elbow for daring to insult Re:Zero as an anime “since it actually has Oni in it, idiot, your opinion is trash—” 
They get things back to being okay, one way or another. 
---
Somewhere in the third month of renovations, they finally scrounge up six whole beds. It takes a good deal of dragging and cursing, but they finally manage to move into their own rooms, the once-empty spaces looking a little less lonely. 
“Now we don’t have to all sleep together in the same room anymore,” Jay announces. There’s no small amount of celebration at that.
The celebration lasts up until sometime around three in the morning, at which point the  consistent nightmares land them all right back in the pile of communal air mattresses. 
“Just for like, one more night,” Kai yawns, as Lloyd curls closer beneath his arm. 
“Totally, yeah,” Nya echoes, one leg spread across Jay, her arm sprawled over Kai. 
“Go to sleep already, FSM’ sake,” Cole begs, before slumping over Zane. 
For all Cole’s begging, he’s still the first to act when Zane suddenly lurches up from the bed, gasping for air like he’s drowning and giving them all joint heart attacks. 
“—hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just us—”
Cole’s hands hover, non-threatening, as Zane buries his face in his palms, breathing ragged. The others have begun to get up now as well, the slow kind of approach that lets Zane know exactly where each of them are. 
“I despise this,” Zane spits, as his hand drags down to fist over his chest. “I hate feeling like this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it—”
“I know,” Cole says. “I know.”
“This is why — it’s so much easier—“
“It’s okay, it’s—”
“It is not! I do not need to breathe, and yet I can’t!” Zane bursts out, frustrated and frightened. “I’m not supposed to break down like this, I do not, I do not—”
“You’re not a machine,” Cole says steadily. “You get to break down.” 
“But if I—”
“You don’t,” Lloyd murmurs. “You don’t have to turn ‘em off, Zane. You’re one of the strongest people I know.” 
Zane’s head lowers, his eyes shadowed. “It wouldn’t hurt,” he says, but it’s reluctant. 
“Yeah, you’d never hurt, but you’d never be happy, either,” Kai says. “And that’d suck.”
“It’d suck for us, too,” Cole speaks up. “We’d have to live without your laugh. Without your sassy remarks. Without your kindness.”
“We’d live without you,” Lloyd says, quietly. “And you wouldn’t really be living, would you?”
Zane crumples, his shoulders shaking as he allows Kai to pull him close. 
“If it gets too much, just come to us,” Jay says. “We’ll be more, okay? We’re pretty good at that.”
Zane gives a wet, stifled laugh. 
“Don’t go, even if it’s just your emotions leaving,” Nya murmurs, her head against his. “It isn’t worth it.”
With slowing shudders, Zane lets himself relax, the warmth of their little family pressing around him. Kai is an immovable barrier at his side, save for where Lloyd’s tucked beneath his arm. Jay’s legs tangle with Lloyd and Cole’s, his hand held tightly in Nya’s.  
“Leaving isn’t worth it,” Nya echoes. “Not in any lifetime.”
---
Bit by bit, the monastery comes together. 
The smell of new paint gives way to a familiar scent of mixing elements and laundry soap, one that’s followed them since the first Bounty. They comb through every online shop until they find the exact brand of sheets that feel like the first apartment they ever lived in together. Thrift shops and sales and birthdays stock closets once again, new hoodies that are quickly stolen and passed back and forth. The collection of CD’s and movies rebuilds into stacks once again through shared movie nights and pirated music.
And little by little, with the consistent passage of time, photographs line the walls of the monastery once again.
 A little older, a little worn, but a collection of family all the same. 
---
“Except we still don’t have damn central heating—” 
“Suck it up and light the fireplace, hothead.” 
“No respect in this city. None at all.” 
189 notes · View notes
221bshrlocked · 9 months
Text
fatal dis|at|traction
Pairing: Hunter x AFAB!Reader
Words: 9774
Warnings: Unrequited feelings (in more ways than one). Touch-starved characters. Lots of sweet/dirty talk. Hunter likes to tease a lot. Oral Sex (female receiving). Fingering. Squirting. Just a bit of a knife kink (it's not everyone's cup of tea so it's a very short scene). Pentrative, Unprotected Sex (wrap it up folks). Creampie. Cuddling.
Summary: You have feelings for Tech who is now taken. Hunter notices your little predicament and decides to offer you a solution, one that you take enthusiastically. Little do you know that this could be the start of something new.
A/N: It's been a minute but I'm very thankful for the Life Day Gift Exchange by @cloneficgiftexchange because I finally managed to write something. This is for @intricatechaosofyou who gave a prompt after my own heart. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. Coincidentally, this also fits into one of the @clonexreaderbingo prompts I got which I am embarrsingly behind on.
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With every little chuckle you heard from Phee, your heart beat in jealousy at not being Tech’s center of attention. You thought it wouldn’t be an issue in the beginning, assuming that Tech would remain uninterested in Phee’s flirtatious advances. But the more she hung out with the team, the more he warmed up to her subtle compliments and faint touches. Before you knew what was happening, he was hanging out with her whenever you and the batch had time off from the crazy missions Sid continued to send you on. 
Then she took you to Pabu and things really spiraled. Their time together increased each day and you barely got to see him. You couldn’t blame him really, or Phee. You just wished you had more time or perhaps been a bit more brave about your feelings towards him.
Another random laugh fills the afternoon air, this time from Tech, and you can’t help but stop what you’re doing and look at the two of them enjoying the preparation for Life Day. You look with longing at the man who managed to captivate your heart with a simple, random fact, and you sigh heavily at knowing that you’ll never really have a chance with him. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” Hunter breaks your sad train of thought, and you turn around to look at him, silently praying that he didn’t just notice you staring at his brother. You pack the decoration boxes and look down to the ground, pretending you don’t understand what he’s talking about. 
“What?” You ask once, and when Hunter doesn’t respond right away, you glance at him quickly to try and gauge his reaction, hoping that you can fool him by acting as clueless as possible about his question. He stares at you silently, uncrossing his arms and heading towards you to help you out with the rest of the boxes.
“I- I’m not sure what you’re referring to, Sarge.” You say in passing as you make your way to the storehouse, already thinking of some lie to respond with in case he dragged this out. When you set down all the empty containers, you shut the door behind the two of you and head towards the center of the town. 
“Don’t do that…not with me.” Hunter breaks the silence after a while, stopping you in your tracks and waiting until you acknowledge him. You ring your fingers nervously, gulping down the nervousness that built up in your throat before facing him. There’s another fake reply at the tip of your tongue but before you can say anything, Hunter beats you to it, stopping you from embarrassing yourself any further. 
“Come on, you can’t lie to me.” He furrows his eyebrows, looking at the couple standing not too far from you before centering his attention back on you again.
“I’m not lying.” You’re more defensive than you’d like and Hunter sighs in irritation, shaking his head and taking those last few steps towards you. The last thing he wants to do is embarrass you but he knows this conversation won’t go anywhere unless you willingly open up to him. 
“Then why is your heart racing? I can practically feel you shaking. You’re not even looking at me.” Your palms grow sweaty the more he reveals those little details about you. 
“Talk to me.” You never thought you’d hear him plead for anything and when you finally look at him, you see a genuine, heartfelt expression on his face, one that makes you feel even more horrible about the predicament you found yourself in. 
“It’s not important, don’t- just don’t worry about it.” You wave your hand around and turn around to walk away from him, only to feel a strong hold wrap around your wrist and stop you from going anywhere else. 
“Tech is a genius, but he can be incredibly dense at times.” Hunter waits until you meet his eyes again before he whispers that last sentiment. The shock of the exclamation sends your heart racing, and your eyes widen in horror at the prospect of everyone else potentially knowing your feelings for Tech. 
“Wha- how…how did you know?”
“I know mesh’la, I know.” He loosens his grip a little, but doesn’t let you go completely, not wanting you to run away from him. The two of you stand in quietness for too long to your liking, and you give up on trying to pretend you don’t know what he’s talking about. 
You give up on trying to make it seem like you’re okay. 
“Is it that obvious?” The chuckle is self-deprecating, and you avoid looking into his hazel gray eyes, afraid you’d cry if he continues to give you that horribly sentimental expression. 
“Not to the others, although Echo guessed just as much a while back. But no, the others don’t know.” Hunter lets go of you then, but he doesn’t move away from you, wanting you to know that he’s here to help in whatever you’ll allow him to. 
“How did you find out?” You move away from the crowd slowly forming around the town square, wanting to have some privacy from prying eyes, from Wrecker and Omega. 
“I notice the way your eyes light up whenever he walks in the room, or goes on one of those rants about kriff knows what.” Anyone else would have laughed at you, but you feel at peace knowing that Hunter would never tease you about something like this. He was too kind to joke about such an intimate little secret. 
“Hmm.”
“And your heart beats like you’ve just run across the whole of Coruscant.” Hunter adds as he comes to a halt in front of the house you reserved for yourself when you first got to Pabu. 
“Ahh, that is extremely embarrassing.” You turn away from him as you respond, not wanting to be at the receiving end of whatever comment he was going to throw your way.
“It’s not…it’s natural to react that way when you have feelings towards someone.” You’re a little surprised by his explanation, mostly because you never thought he’d be the type to speak so sweetly about something as awkward as emotions. 
“Right.” You can’t help but smile when you see him shrug at you, and as you’re about to unlock your door, Hunter turns around and grabs the knob, preventing you from reaching for it, let alone turn around and get away from him. 
“You know what you need?” He asks, and you shiver at the sudden drop in his voice, wondering why he was suddenly becoming so friendly with you. 
“Please enlighten me, because this whole conversation hasn’t been humiliating enough as is.” You laugh in an attempt to diffuse the tension slowly building in between the two of you, but Hunter doesn’t crack a single smile, roaming his eyes down your neck and taking in a deep breath before meeting your gaze once more. 
“You need to get your mind off of him, just for a little while. Find a distraction…sometimes you have to stay busy so you don’t feel.” You’re too distracted by the proximity between his body and your own to dwell on the true meaning behind his words. 
“Yeah well, good thing we’re staying here. Helping rebuild the city will definitely take my mind off of him and…ugh, I guess make me focus less on seeing the two of them together.” Looking past him to the slowly busying town square, you completely miss the way he bites his lower lip as he studies you closely and shakes his head at your response. 
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh yeah, what do you mean th-” Turning your focus back to him, the words die in your throat when you finally notice the way he’s looking at you. You part your lips in a gasp, finding it difficult to breathe as Hunter leans into your space and groans his intentions against your jaw. 
“I mean…you need to get your mind off of him, and onto something else…perhaps someone else.” Your body freezes at the unexpected intimacy of the moment, and although you know you should push him away and tell him to forget whatever was happening, you tell yourself that this might just be what you need to forget about Tech. 
“I s-see.” Hunter’s hand reaches for your waist, holding you against him until he’s sure you’re accepting his advances. He smiles at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief that sends a zap of lightning down your spine. 
It was a warm day in Pabu, but having Hunter flush against your chest makes you even more heated, and you gulp down whatever nervousness was threatening to make itself known in the form of a rejection, allowing your fingers to dance along his forearm before you grab onto his shoulders for support. 
“W-what do you have in mind?” He gets even more bold then, wrapping his arm around your back and pulling you in until you nearly bump your forehead against his nose. 
“I think you know.” His voice is gravely, and it occurs to you then that he may have always had this deep baritone, but you just never truly appreciated it until now. 
“Humor me, Sarge.” You smirk right back at him, eyes dancing from his lips to his piercing gaze in preparation for what he’s about to say. 
“Well, you’ll first need to find someone willing to help you out, someone who knows all about distractions. Then, you take them somewhere private and…how should I put this, kindly ask them to fuck your brains out…take the edge off a little…and if you start thinking of him again, you get on your knees and have them dick you down real hard…till you can’t think straight.” His lips graze across the skin of your cheek, down to your neck, as he promises you the filthiest sentiments, and if you weren’t sure you knew the man standing in front of you was far beyond the average man, you would have asked him how he had you melting into his arms in such a small period of time. 
“Maker,” you nearly reach up to kiss him but then quickly remember that anyone can see you. Before you can push him away, Hunter nudges you harshly to get your attention again, not wanting you to get distracted by your surroundings or if anyone might hear what the two of you have in mind. 
“Hmm, I think your body agrees with me sweetheart. Why don’t you have that tired brain of yours catch up?” He nods at your head, tilting his head to the side as if he was asking you a silent question. 
“Do you…do you know someone that can do all of what you just said?” 
“You’re right in luck baby, I happen to be free for the next couple of hours.” Hunter responds right away, knowing that it would be extremely difficult to have you like this again. 
“Ahhh, t-that saves me from looking then.” You smile when he rests against you and nudges your nose with his own, aquiline one. 
“So, what do you want?” Again, his voice is smoother than honey, sending you spiraling in a matter of seconds out of anticipation. 
“I thought you…don’t be cruel, please.” You kiss the corner of his mouth, feeling the rough stubble across his sharp cheeks burn you in the sweetest way. Hunter turns his head far enough to finally tough his lips with your own, the kiss ending far too quickly to your liking but leaves you begging for more. 
“Never…never. I mean, how do you want it mesh’la? You want it slow, soft, sensual…” He slithers his hands across your body, leaving a trail of fire across your skin with each sweet touch he graces you with. 
“Or do you like it hard and fast…till you can’t scream anymore?” He digs his nails into your curves then grabbing and squeezing your ass until you nearly fall against him.
“Oh fuck…I- Hunter, please.”
“You’re a big girl, use your words and tell me what you want!” Hunter combs his hand into your hair, tugging on it harshly until you throw your head back and give him access to your neck. He descends down on you like a madman, nipping and sucking on the soft expanse of your skin until you’re panting in his embrace. 
“You want me to be sweet with you…or do you want to feel me with every step you take tomorrow?” He licks the bitemarks he’s left behind, chuckling to himself when he feels you shaking in his arms and practically begging him to fuck you right out in the open. 
“Please Hunter, be- be rough with me. As rough as you want.” You reach for the collar of his shirt, fisting it in your hands as if you were holding on for dear life. You should have known that as everything else, Hunter would easily take you down without breaking a sweat. 
“A girl after my own heart.” He chuckles then, the sweet sound shooting straight into your chest and making you wish he just pushed the door behind you open and took you somewhere more private. 
“I’ll take my time with you next time baby, worship every fucking inch of your body as you deserve. But tonight…tonight I’m going to teach you how to take me…please me…open up for me and take my cum like the good girl I know you are.” He kisses across your damp skin in between words, finding it difficult to continue holding back when he could practically smell your arousal the more he whispers into your ears. 
“I’m going to fuck you into the next galaxy sweetheart, till the only name your pretty little brain can remember is mine and mine alone.” Your heart beats so fast Hunter thinks you might pass out, but as you melt into his arms and pull him closer to you, he knows that you’re enjoying this as much as he was. 
“And believe me when I tell you, I’ll know if you’re thinking of him. So be a pretty little sweetheart and focus on me.” He moves away to take a better look at you, raising a curious eyebrow when he finds you completely lost in every touch and every sweet word he was gifting you with. 
“Yes,” you barely manage to breathe out, waiting for whatever he still has in stock for you. 
“Yes?” Hunter asks, his expression turning more serious when you open your eyes and look right into his own. There’s something so erotic about how much he can sense every little reaction you have to his advances, but he sets his thoughts aside long enough to hear you openly consent to him. 
“Yes, sergeant.” Those two words are music to his ears, and he steps away instantly, but not before making sure you can still stand on your own two feet. You snap out of your haze when you no longer feel the heat of his body against yours. 
“Good girl.” He grabs your hand and leads you away from your home, down the tiled pathway towards the quieter side of the island. 
“Where…where are you taking me?”
“Some place where you can scream my name without worrying about anyone hearing you.” He nearly stops in his tracks when he hears you moan in response to his words, but he knows that if he looks back now, he might never make it to his own place. If anything, the reaction he gets out of you makes him walk quicker, not caring for how you stumble several times as he continues towards the smaller, but more private homes at the bottom of the island. 
You can’t look away from him, and as you follow him blindly, you find yourself surprised at not wishing he was someone else. Maybe because you’ve always found him objectively handsome, all the clones were if you were being honest, or perhaps because you’ve always wondered what it would be like to be with someone like Hunter, someone who you knew would be so attuned to every sound and every muscle twitch you’d have that he’d know instantly how to please you. But the longer you dwell on it, the more you realize that you’re lucky to have someone like him pay you this much attention, or even be willing to give you this favor. 
Little did you know that while you were longing for Tech, Hunter was struggling to keep his own feelings at bay. He didn’t want to take advantage of you, far from it, but he figured that maybe, just maybe, if he showed you how much he cares for you, you’d look at him instead of his brother. 
He can feel your eyes on him, and his heart skips a beat at the prospect of finally having your attention. Hunter wants to ask you if you’re sure about this, but as he approaches his residence, he finds himself less willing to break the two of you out of whatever cloud you’ve fallen under, afraid that you’d change your mind and leave. 
The thought nearly breaks his heart, but as he slows down and unlocks his door, he feels your hands shaking even harder, and he knows then that he needs to give you an out because you may not be able to take it yourself. 
“Sweet girl, you’re trembling.” He turns around and cups your neck, forcing you to look into his eyes so you’re sure he doesn’t mind if you walk away from him. 
“If you’ve changed your mind…if- if you don’t want this anymore, we can stop. It’s- it’s okay.” The words sound less convincing to his ears, but he braces himself for the rejection he’s sure you’re about to give him. 
“No, Hunter please.” Your instant response sends a wave of relief and reluctance through his chest, and his eyes widen for a fraction of a second before they soften again, knowing that if you noticed his expression, you might push through just to not upset him. 
“I won’t have you against your will baby.” He leans over and kisses the small space in between your eyebrows, waiting until you relax against him before he pulls away and meets your gaze again. 
“I want this, Hunter. I- I want you. I’d be lying to myself if I said otherwise.” You tug at his forearms, wanting him to not shy away from you, perhaps even afraid that he’d change his mind and tell you to leave. Your nerves slowly rise again and Hunter must sense your spiraling thoughts because he pulls you into the small space and shuts the door behind you, pushing you against the wall and stepping impossibly close to you so you can only feel him. 
“Tell me what you need. Right this moment.” 
“Can you just...hold me for a minute? I- I need to feel your arms around me.” You barely manage to breathe out the request, not because you think he’ll laugh at it but because you find yourself having a difficult time thinking of a single coherent thought. 
“Sure thing ad’ika, come here.” Hunter slowly walks back to the small bed at the edge of the wall, sitting down on the soft surface of the covers before pulling you into his lap. You follow him quietly, finding it oddly soothing to have him in control of your actions rather than your own mind. You throw your arms around him and rest your head on his chest, willing yourself to relax as soon as you feel his hands roam across your back soothingly. 
“I want you to focus on my heartbeat.” You do as he says, moving your head down a little further so you can listen to his heart. If you’re shocked by how much faster it is, you say nothing and dwell on the fact that he may be just as nervous as you are. 
“Take deep breaths,” Hunter slides one hand underneath your shirt to test the waters, shutting his eyes and smiling to himself when your muscles relax deeper into him. 
“Nothing else matters, little one. Only you, and me…right here and now.” He reminds you one last time, massaging your back and turning his head every once in a while to kiss you. Hunter shuts his eyes to commit this moment to memory, unsure of whether he’ll ever get to have you like this again or not. He says nothing after, wanting to ensure that you have all the time you need before the two of you do anything. 
You’re not sure how long you spend in his arms but when you no longer feel nervous at being in his presence, you pull away and rest your hands on his chest, willing yourself to be brave enough to look into his eyes after experiencing such an intimate moment with him. 
“Feeling better?” He reaches for your chin and moves it up softly to take a better look at you. As soon as he looks into your eyes, he smiles at you, waiting until you return the expression before doing anything else. 
“Hmm.”
“Then why don’t you lay back for me.” He moves you off of him and studies you closely as you maneuver yourself around his bed. You’re less shy than before, that he’s sure of, but you do as he says more confidently, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Hunter, and makes him imagine all that he can do to you. 
“You know, I- I always thought you had a soothing voice,” you break the silence reluctantly, biting your lower lip when you notice Hunter smirking at the unexpected sentiment. 
“Yeah?” He questions as he kneels on the bed and slowly crawls towards you. 
“Yes, but now…now I’m realizing it’s your presence.” You waver in your response, finding it difficult to think of anything when he’s looking at you like you’re his prey. 
“Tell me more.” Hunter demands, dancing his fingers across whatever skin he has access to and watching as goosebumps erupt across your body at the simple touches. 
“It’s in your touch, your- kriff, your movements…your gaze.” You arch your back when Hunter digs his nose at the space just above the edge of your pants and takes a long whiff of your scent. You think that if anyone else has done something so strange, you’d be turned off by it, but this was Hunter, and scenting was important to him, especially since he must have been getting awfully close to you because he liked what he could smell. 
“Glad to be of service,” he comments in passing, nudging your shirt up to get more access to the skin of your stomach. He kisses your navel, breathing you in with each new bit of flesh he came across. 
“Gods above,” you can’t take it anymore, reaching for his shoulder and trying to pull him closer to you so he could speed things up a bit. 
“No sweetheart, it’s only me.” He chuckles at the whine you send his way, looking up at you as he parts your thighs and makes space for himself in between. 
“You’re d-driving me insane Hunter.” Hunter doesn’t move an inch as you try to bring him closer. If anything, he slows down even more and takes both of your hands into his own, softly kissing the wrist of each one before bringing them above your head. 
“If you’re still coherent, then I’m not driving you insane enough.” He’s teasing you, and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was pushing you to a point where you could do nothing but beg for him. So distracted with the patterns he’s drawing across your arms, you don’t realize where the other hand is reaching until you feel his grip tighten around your throat. 
“Ahh, please.” You arch your back, grabbing the sheets beneath you in an attempt to keep your hands where he asked you to. You want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and surrender to his lips, but you knew better than to disobey his orders. Hunter was a strict man in the field, and you were positive he wasn’t any different in this context. If anything, he was probably even more severe now. At least you hoped he would be. 
“And remember baby, it’s ‘Sergeant’ for you. Got it?”
“Yes, sergeant.”
“Now, do me a favor and keep your hands there.” He taps twice on them, waiting until you nod in agreement before he sits back up and takes your wrecked form. He hoped you’d open up for him easily, but he never thought you’d be so needy, let alone greedy for him. 
“But how will you take my clothes off?” You pout at him, the expression making Hunter wish he could flip you over and fuck you into oblivion. But he knew you needed him to be soft tonight, even if you were adamant in making him get a little rough with you. 
“Let’s not spoil the fun.” He warns with a pinch to your hip, chuckling at the way you jump and your thighs unintentionally close around him. 
“A bit sensitive, aren’t we?” He rests one hand near your head as he leans down and kisses the corner of your mouth, waiting for you to breathe before touching your lips with his own. It’s a chaste kiss, yet it sends your heart leaping through the roof because of how unexpectedly tender it is. 
“I…haven’t done this in a while.” You whisper against his mouth, chasing him along when he begins to pull away again. 
“Shame,” it’s such a simple comment, and yet you feel a string of butterflies in your stomach at the implication behind it. The fact that you held Hunter’s focus when so many on the island were begging for it makes you wish he could have approached you sooner. 
“Hmmph,” the sound of your moan reaches your ear instantly, and you try to hide from Hunter out of embarrassment, but he doesn’t let you, moving down your body slowly and continuing to drive you mad with need for him. 
“Go on baby, moan for me.”
“What if s-someone hears?”
“Everyone’s in town for the celebrations,” he reaches down and unbutton your pants, looking straight into your eyes as he pulls the fabric down your legs and throws it behind him. You try to close your legs quickly, afraid he could smell how wet you are. But Hunter is much faster than you, and he prevents you from moving another muscle, looking down once at the dark patch on your panties before meeting your eyes again, silently letting you know that he could smell you long before this very moment. 
“No one’ll hear you, mesh’la. So beg all you want, you’re mine tonight.” He slips one finger beneath the edge of your panties, thumbing at the skin of your hips to get you to calm down a little before he does anything else. 
“Only tonight?” You don’t mean to ask this question, not now at least, but you figured you may as well see if this was a one-time thing or not. 
“Oh I don’t get to decide that, you do.” He surprises you with his answer, and the shock must be visible on your face because Hunter tilts his head to the side and stares at you until you realize you really were in control of what goes on between the two of you. 
“So if I- oh kriff, if I want you to fuck me every night…”
“Then ask me nicely.” He slips one hand underneath your shirt, raising it above your stomach to your chest and laying it across your sternum to feel your heartbeat. When you don’t respond right away, he slides his hand a little further and draws random patterns just below your breast. 
“Better yet, beg me sweetly…and I’ll give you my cock whenever you like.” He promises as he continues to edge you into submission, something that makes you wish you could yell at him about and thank him for. 
“T-thank you, sarge.” Your breathing becomes erratic the longer he touches you anywhere but where you want him, and just as you begin to give up hope, he removes his hands completely from your form and reaches behind him. 
“Do you trust me cyar’ika?” The question is asked with hesitance, and you’re not sure why he’s asking you this all of a sudden, but when you hear the sound of a clasp coming undone, you know why he’s being so serious. 
“You know I do.” It’s the first thing you said since he dragged you behind him where you aren’t practically shaking beneath him, and once he’s completely satisfied with your response, he pulls out the blade from its holster and flips it around. You’re enamored by the swift movement of the weapon as it dances in between his fingers, and the faster Hunter plays with the knife, the more difficult you find it to breathe. 
“Then look at me.” He demands as he stops swinging the knife around, and you obey him instantly, gulping excitedly as he leans over your body once again and places the sharp end of the knife at the top of your shirt, inches below your neck.  
“Don’t,” Hunter warns slowly, nicking small holes into your shirt until the article of clothing rips down the middle, “move,” his voice is somehow even more gravely than before, and you stop breathing altogether, not because you think he’ll hurt you but because you can’t help but feel turned on by how focused he is on you and how safe you feel with something so dangerous, “a muscle.” He continues to ruin your shirt and you can’t find it in yourself to care one bit, knowing that being at Hunter’s mercy was worth far more than any shirt you could own. When he completely separates both sides of the fabric, he slips the wide edge of the knife beneath the fabric and pushes it to the side before grabbing the other with his fingers and displaying your nude skin to his hungry eyes. 
You let out a deep breath and refuse to look anywhere else but his dilated pupils, clenching your thighs tightly at knowing that you were the reason behind such a dramatic reaction from him. 
“I can smell you, little one. Does this turn you on?” He finally looks away from your heaving chest to your eyes, and when he finds you already staring at him, he smiles to himself and places the knife down gently on the small table near his bed. You’re disappointed that he clearly won’t be using it anymore, and Hunter notices the small expression because he trails his fingers down your front and pinches one nipple to get your attention. 
“Use your words and tell me.” You arch into his rough ministrations, whispering your response and moaning for more. 
“Y-yes, it does.”
“I knew you’d be fun.” He soothes the heated skin of your breast, drawing small circles around one nipple just as he leans down and takes the other in between his teeth. You whine his name over and over again, and Hunter growls his approval against you, lapping up the bitemarks he left around your hardened peak before sucking harshly on it again. 
“Fuck, I do love how sensitive you are.” He manages to say right before diving for the other nipple and tasting your natural scent along with the soap you use to shower. 
“And how hard your nipples perk at the touch of my fingers.” He thinks you’re about to move one hand so he reaches quickly for it, gripping it tightly and keeping it against the bed while he leaves angry marks across your chest. 
“Ahh maker, please sergeant.” Your moans are becoming louder, and Hunter decides then and there that if you were going to scream for him, it should be his name falling from your lips, not his rank. The only warning you get before he descends down your body is his hand slipping underneath your panties and instantly pushing two fingers into your cunt. You’re dripping for him, and his thick fingers rub against your tight walls with an embarrassing ease. 
“Kriff, I know I asked you to call me that, but forget it.” Hunter looks into your eyes as he lets go of your wrist and grabs the back of your neck, not bothering to say anything else as he lunges for your mouth and swallows your moans. You part your thighs and your lips for him, not caring for any rule he’s given you as you throw your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. He fingers you slowly, but as begin to clench tightly around him, Hunter can’t hold back anymore and he moves off of you with a wet smack before crawling down your body. You’re shocked by the sudden urgency of his movement, and as soon as you reach for his hair and tug on it, you feel his warm lips close around your clit and his tongue aggressively lap at the engorged bundle of nerves. 
“I want you to scream my name, mesh’la. Scream my name as you come on my tongue.” 
“Hu- ahhh g-gods!” You’re not aware of what you’re saying, and the harder Hunter thrusts his fingers into you, the quicker you feel your release coming along. 
“You smell…so sweet.” Hunter manages to breathe in between his assault on your pussy, and you let go of his hair to grab for the sheets beneath you, not wanting to hurt him by how hard you’d pull on his hair. 
“But you taste so much sweeter.” He feels his cock harden as the taste and scent of you fill his nostrils. Normally, he’d find it overwhelming to be surrounded by so many strong scents, but the more you gush for him, the more he wants to dive into you and make you soak him with your arousal. 
“Hunter, oh right there…please.” You reach for his hair again, but this time, you pull so hard that his red bandana comes off in your hand and reminds you to loosen your hold so as to not overwhelm him with too many sensations. 
“Sorry, I-” You try to apologize but the words trail off when Hunter looks up and shakes his head at you. 
“I don’t mind, sweet thing. Go on, pull as hard as you want.” He leans down and kisses the hand near his head, nipping at your thumb to let you know that he was feeling more than okay. 
“But won’t that-” You don’t want him to feel like he needs to do this for you, but Hunter distracts you again, rubbing at your clit with his thumb to get you to listen to him. 
“Please cyar’ika, let me feel you…everywhere.” Hunter begs you, pushing your thighs apart even more in an attempt to get you to do as he says. He doesn’t wait for a response then, descending down on you again with more passion than you thought him capable of in such a setting, and before you know it, he has you right at the edge with his expert hands and his enthusiastic mouth. You should have known that he’d know what you like quickly, but something about him being so attuned to your responses pushes you closer to your orgasm, and before you know it, you’re shutting your eyes and letting the flood of sensations overtake you. 
“Hmm fuck, that’s it.” You scratch at his scalp as you pull on his hair, the action driving Hunter nearly mad and making him grab at your stomach to keep you planted to his face. 
“Hunter…I- I’m co-” His harsh breathing and how hard he continues to lick at your clit is all you need to fall apart, and as soon as he coils his fingers inside you and rubs your tight walls, you come around him instantly, shaking violently beneath his firm body and screaming nonsense into the damp air of the room. It’s becoming nearly too much, and although you want him to stop, you can’t find it in yourself to push him away, a part of you sensing that he may need this as much as you. So you let him continue his assault on your cunt, and before you realize what’s about to happen, Hunter pulls away and watches as you soak his arms and his bed with your juices. He doesn't let up once, plunging his fingers into you so quickly that you manage to wet even his thighs. When he hears your heart beating impossibly rapidly against your chest, he slows down and removes his hand from you, pulling away and watching as your panties hide you from his eyes again. 
He waits until you look at him before he slowly sucks on each of his fingers, smirking to himself when you hide behind your arms and close your thighs immediately. 
“I changed my mind.” His voice is rough, and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s turned on or because he’s having a difficult time breathing just as you. Then the words settle in your remind and you move your hands away to take a better look at him. 
“W-what?” You don’t have time to grab him as he gets off the bed and reaches for his shirt, throwing it away as well before unzipping his pants and pulling them down his thighs and stepping out of them before kneeling on the bed again. 
“We can do rough later. Right now, I want to watch you come undone…slowly.” He grabs your ankles and pulls them apart, not caring for how blatant he’s being with his staring as he moves towards you again. 
“Fuck baby, you’re gushing for me.” His disbelief sends a shiver down your spine and you softly smack his thigh to get his attention away from your heated core. 
“Hunter, don’t- don’t say stuff like that.”
“And why shouldn’t I?” He narrows his eyes at you, daring you to say anything in disagreement. 
“It’s…embarrassing.” You manage to whisper out, only to have Hunter shamelessly wipe the wetness over your legs with his hand. 
“No, it’s fucking sexy mesh’la….and if I had known taking my shirt off would turn you on this much, I would have walked around naked since you came on board.” He reaches for your hand and you squeal suddenly when he tugs you harshly until you nearly smack his chest. Looking down at you, Hunter bites into his lower lips as he pulls the rest of your shirt away and throws it away, not bothering to push you back into bed when you rest your hands against his naked chest and feel his muscles flex and unflex. 
“Speaking of taking things off…” You try to grab your panties but Hunter stops you, shaking his head and bringing your hand back to his skin. 
“No, keep’em on.” 
“But-”
“These are mine now, and I want nothing more than to smell your cunt and my cum on them…when I take them.” Hunter nods down at the wet article of clothing as he swipes your hair away from your face and softly grazes your bruised lips. 
“Hmph, you’re a shy little thing aren’t you?” He wonders out loud when you turn away from and rest your forehead against his stomach, once again feeling a sense of pride wash over him at being the one to bring such a reaction out of you. 
“Do the honors.” He takes your hands and moves them down his rigid form, not missing the way your breath hitches when you feel the muscles on his stomach flutter at the soft touch of your palms. You don’t dare look up at him as you drag his boxers down his hips until his cock juts out from beneath the elastic. 
“Oh fuck me.” You stop what you’re doing as soon as you see the size of him, and Hunter uses your moment of distraction to his advantage, pushing you back into the bed and moving away to step out of his boxers before returning to you again. 
“Since you asked so nicely.” He remembers the biosheath and finds one in his drawer instantly, but before he can take it out, you take his wrist and bring it back to you. 
“Wait-” You stop him, unsure of what to say now that he was looking at you with such an unreadable expression. 
“You don’t have to- like I said, I haven’t done this in…in a while. And I’ve-” Your attempts to explain to him that you don’t have anything and that you wouldn’t mind it if he didn’t use a biosheath with you evaporate into thin air, and as you give up on trying to relay the message, Hunter shuts the drawer and lays on top of you. One look into his eyes gives you away and you turn from him to avoid whatever embarrassing words you’re sure he’s about to relay to you. 
“You want me to fill you with my seed, little one?” The question is asked in such a low voice that you nearly miss the playfulness in between. You refuse to acknowledge him, afraid of how much he’d drag this out if you told him outright that you wanted to feel him leak out of you. 
“You want me to fuck my cum deep inside your pretty little cunt?” He asks again, this time as he slips his hand in between your bodies and wraps his palm around his hard cock, lazily stroking his length while teasing your clothed clit with the tip of his dick. He goes on for too long, and when you can’t take it anymore, you moan in agreement, hoping that the outburst pushes him to finally, finally, fuck you. 
“O-ohh gods, please…please.” The way he cups himself and teases the both of you nearly sends you into overdrive, and just as you begin to give up hope, Hunter tugs aside your panties, and pushes his cock against your wet folds, giving you a taste of what’s to come. 
“Keep begging baby.”
“Please Hunter…I need you. I- I want you to come inside me, want to feel you all night long.” He was planning on making you cry for him, but the sound of your voice telling him everything he’s heard a thousand times in his dreams sends him reeling and before he can warn you, he pushes his cock into your slit, arms nearly giving out at finally feeling your cunt welcome him in. You arch your back as soon as you feel his thick, hard cock fill you, and although you should be embarrassed at how easily he slides into you, you don’t bother thinking about it, not when Hunter was finally giving you what you’ve been craving. 
“Kriffing hells, you feel so good mesh’la…so tight and hot for me.” He stops moving, the heat of your cunt making him nearly lose his mind and whatever bit of control left in him. 
“Hunter-” You don’t like the fact that he’s stopped pushing into you, but then he moves and you realize that maybe you needed a second to get used to him after all. 
“I know, love. I know, just a little bit more.” Hunter kisses your forehead, lips quivering at the thought of being too much for you to handle. He waits until you’re relaxed a little before he gives you more of his cock, and when you drag your nails across his arms and grab onto his shoulder, he stops again to soothe you. 
“You want to be a good girl for me, don’t you?” 
“Yes…oh maker yes.” Your voice breaks, making Hunter wish you weren’t so kriffing sensitive to him. 
“Then open up for me…take me.” He leaves a trail of wet kisses down your neck, licking and nipping at the taut skin in an attempt to distract you from whatever discomfort you were feeling. 
“Haa…ahh, you’re- so fucking hard.” Your words are unexpected, and Hunter fists his hands tightly into his pillows so he doesn’t do something he’d regret. He unintentionally thrusts the rest of his dick into your pussy, the action knocking the breath out of the both of you and sending a strike of pleasure down your spine.
“Only for you, sweetheart. O-only for you.” Hunter breathes against your chest, cursing at how much better you felt now than in his dreams. He could feel every inch of you squeeze him, and if it weren’t for the fact that you told him it’s been a while, Hunter would have begged to fuck you like he wanted. But it has been a while, and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt you. When you wince at the slightest of movements, Hunter pulls back and studies you, carefully listening to your heartbeat and looking over you to see if you were too uncomfortable to do this now. 
“Are you okay?” He should be the one asking you this question, not the other way around, and even though a million compliments run through his mind, he barely manages to respond to your question. 
“Fuck, I’m more than okay.” He hisses out as you clench around him, and before he can let you know that he’s not reacting out of pain but of indescribable pleasure, you reach for his hair and tug him down, begging for him to do anything besides remaining still. 
“Then move…” You cross your legs behind his back to tempt him into moving against you, but Hunter remains impossibly still, resting his forehead against yours as he tries to tell you why he’s having a difficult time moving. 
“N-not yet, just let me feel you. Let me…feel all of you.” He hopes it’s enough for you to stop asking him to move, but he should have known better. 
“Is- is it too much?” Your shyness makes itself known again, and Hunter swears beneath his breath because he genuinely didn’t mean to come off so strained in his response. 
“No, it’s- you’re perfect.” It’s both everything he’s feeling and barely an explanation of what he’s reserved for you for so long, but he can’t find any other word to describe what he’s experiencing with you now. You’re about to ask him to keep talking when he finally listens to you and pulls out a little before thrusting back in. 
“Oh.” The simple word riles him up more than he cares to admit, and he sets a slow and sensual pace to calm himself down and give you what you desire. The small room fills with sounds of your harsh breathing and Hunter’s controlled growls, and before you know it, he’s hitting every inch of you in a way that makes you see stars. Then you look at him, and you find his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes shut tightly, and you just know that it’s because he wants to do more with you. 
“Hunter,” you call for him, soothing his back with your hands to let him know that you weren’t going anywhere. 
“Hmm?” His eyes flutter open instantly and you wonder if their color was always so intense and dark, or if this was just a product of what the two of you were doing. 
“Don’t h-hold back.” You cup his neck and pray to the maker that he listens to you.
“I already told you cyare, I want you to fall apart for me…nice and slow.” He pronounces each word with a soft push of his hips against you, and you know then that this would definitely not be the last time you sleep with him. It couldn’t be. 
“But I-”
“I want to commit you to memory. The way your heart skips a beat when I kiss your shoulders,” he leans closer against you and leaves a trail of wet kisses across your sternum to your shoulder, biting it playfully when he notices you trying to move along with him. 
“The way you bite your lips when I pinch with your nipples,” you throw your head back in ecstasy as he pinches your nipple and rolls it in between his thumb and his index finger. 
“The way your eyes shut when I sink my teeth into your skin,” Hunter takes one last look at the pleasure etched on your expression before taking the other hardened peak into his mouth, rolling his tongue around your nipple before biting down harshly just below the reddened skin. 
“The way your cunt clenches around my cock when I pull your hair,” you wrap your arms around his back and pull him flush against you when you feel him comb his fingers into the hair at the nape of your neck and pull harshly on it, the action letting you know that Hunter was most certainly capable of being rough with you, but was choosing to get your body used to his soft touch first. 
“And- fuck…ah fuck, the way your tight walls invite me in deeper when I play with your clit.” He lets go of your hair and slides his hand down your body, squeezing your hips and scratching along your thighs to leave his mark. As soon as you open your eyes and look at him, he begins to draw small circles around your clit, all the while picking up his pace just a little to get you closer to your climax. 
“I want it all baby,” he begs for you, roaming his eyes across your body to get his fill of you before he brings the two of you to the edge. You’re so sensitive from before, but something about having Hunter pay close attention to you makes you welcome whatever he has to offer you. 
“I- I’m close.” You manage to whisper to him as he continues to play with your body, and you realize the mistake you did in your claim when you hear him laugh and pause in his ministrations. 
“Already?” He doesn’t expect you to answer, but you whine his name and roll your hips around to get any form of friction. Hunter is distracted by the movement, and he resumes his attention to your clit, grunting with need when you reach down and scratch his stomach to urge him on. 
“D-don’t tease.”
“Never…never.” He responds immediately, thrusting into you with shallow pushes, already feeling the knot in his stomach slowly unwind the more he feels your heat pull him in. 
“I can feel your fucking heartbeat, can feel it singing for me the harder I fuck you.” Hunter cries out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, sitting up and moving the hand on his stomach down to your clit to get you to touch yourself.
“Please Hunter,” as soon as you start teasing your clit, Hunter grabs both of your hips and fucks into you with slow, languid movements, knowing that if he picks up the pace any further, he’d have you screaming so loud that the rest of the batch may actually hear you. 
“What do you want? Tell me.” There is a layer of sweat covering your body and making Hunter lose his mind. Your scent is more pronounced now that it has ever been, and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to interact with you normally now that he knew what you smelled like as you prayed for him to fuck you harder. 
“I want you to come with me.” Your request storms into Hunter’s mind, making him wish he could just tell you how he feels, how he’s felt for so long. 
“Kriff,” he throws his head back and looks at the ceiling, knowing that tonight would replay in his mind until you came to him and asked him to take you to bed again. 
“So close…so fucking close. Hunter, please…let me feel you come with me. Come inside me.” You grab one of his wrists in an attempt to remain grounded, and Hunter can’t help but whine at the desperation you were trusting him with. Never in his life did he think he’d have you so unabashedly wanton, but here you were, telling him that you wanted nothing more than to feel him come with you. 
“You’re killing me baby.” Hunter growls and looks down at where you’re joined, not caring for how crazed he must appear to you as his hair swings back and forth, and his face shines with sweat. 
“Oh-hhh f…fuck right there-” you scream into the darkening room, no longer able to hold back the pleasure from seizing you and showering you with a most beautiful distraction. 
“Mesh’la, I-” whatever he’s about to say is cut off by your lips as you pull him into you and mold your lips with his own. It’s a hungry kiss, and Hunter prays to the Force that you’re desperate for him out of necessity and not out of simple, physical attraction. He gives you what you want regardless, slipping his tongue into your mouth and surrendering himself to the pleasure just as your walls flutter around his cock and signal your orgasm. Feeling you tighten even harder around him is almost too much, and he doesn’t realize he’s thrusting so violently into you until you break the kiss and scream his name. He fucks into you without abandon, growling your name over and over again until he lets go and falls over the edge with you. You’re aware of how harshly you’re dragging your nails across his back, and before you can apologize for accidentally sending him into a sensory overload, Hunter is falling against you and sinking his teeth into your shoulders, shooting his cum so deep inside you that you feel the warmth of his seed spread across your body. Neither of you stop moving, wanting the other to reach absolute pleasure before you finally slow down. As you come down from your highs, you wonder if you should ask Hunter what he was going to say right before he came, but you get distracted by the way he begins to slowly move off of you. 
“No wait,” he’s about to move off of you when you throw your arms around his neck and keep him flush against you. You can almost feel his heartbeat sound against your chest, and you’re sure he can hear your own singing for him, but you pay no mind to it, instead focusing on the heat of his skin as it slides against yours. 
“Stay.” You ask once, hoping that he’d listen to you without wondering why you wanted to have him crush you with his weight. 
“Wrap your arms around me tightly.” He says after a while, and as soon as he knows you did as he said, he slips his hands beneath you and holds onto you as he rolls around. The action shifts his cock inside you, and both of you moan out in unison at the shock of oversensitivity that strikes across your spines. He is careful when he moves again, and once he’s comfortable on his back, he slides his hand up your body and grabs your neck. You pull back to look into his eyes, offering him a lazy smile before resting your cheek on his chest again. 
“Does this feel good?”
“I- I liked your weight on me…but yes, this is nice.” You decide not to lie to him, knowing that he may misunderstand your answer if you didn’t give him the whole truth. 
“Noted.” You can hear the smirk in his own voice and snuggle closer into him, not realizing that your playing with his hair until he nuzzles closer into your hands.
“Stay as long as you like, ad’ika.”
You make a mental note of asking him what all of those words mean later, but for now, you surrender to his embrace and the gentle touches he continued to grace you with. Neither of you say anything else as you relish the sweetness of the moment, and before long, you notice that Hunter’s heart was beating much faster than it should. You’ve been sitting without much movement for a long time, so you wonder briefly why his heart was threatening to leap out of his chest. The thought of being the reason behind such a reflex makes you think differently of Hunter, and you hope that your hunch is right or else you’ll end up making a fool out of yourself when you ask him to take you to bed again. 
Just thinking of doing this again with Hunter sends your spiraling and you unintentionally clench around him, but this time, you realize that he’s grown hard again. In fact, you could feel him pulsing inside of you, and you hope he doesn’t sense the shift in your body or else you’d have to explain to him why you were getting wet again. 
“Don’t forget our little agreement sweet girl. I told you I’d know if you were thinking of him.” Hunter breaks the silence suddenly, and you frown at the sentiment, not because it was far from the truth, but because Hunter thought you were thinking of Tech and not him. 
“I didn’t forget.” You pull away and pout at him, wanting him to see that you clearly weren’t lying to him. 
“Then what’s making your heart race so suddenly?” It’s the first time Hunter asks a question that he clearly doesn’t know the answer to, but when you look away from him and draw strange patterns over his chest, he knows instantly what it was you’re thinking about. 
“Interesting…” You roll your eyes at him, unable to hold back from giggling along with him when he cracks a smile and laughs at your obvious irritation. 
“H-Hunter,” you break the moment and gulp nervously when he meets your eyes and gives you his undivided attention. 
“Yes, mesh’la?” If there was ever a moment where Hunter was at his most peaceful, you think it may be this one. 
“Kiss me? Please?” You’re reluctant in your request, unsure of whether he’d draw the line here now that you weren’t actively trying to fuck each other. But as he’s done so many times in the past few hours, he surprises you with an answer that you’d later pinpoint as the first time you truly felt something deeper than attraction for him. 
“Never ask for what’s already yours, cyare.”
563 notes · View notes
chlorinecake · 8 months
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“cake for breakfast?” ┈ ❊ ﹒ 🎀
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⟢ pairing 西村力 x fem!reader ⟢ contains play fighting, teasing, mentions of food, a few kisses ⟢ 𝟕𝟗𝟎 words 🌷 now playing … 💌
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Knowing your boyfriend Riki, it was never easy for him to wake up early, let alone without your assistance.
But today was different, considering how a certain goal in his mind gave him just enough motivation to get out of bed: Celebrating your birthday.
You’re still not even sure how Riki managed to do this, but he got you out of your place for the night, long enough for him to sneak back in and leave you a special surprise that morning before you got back.
“What the?” You thought to yourself, seeing Riki’s car parked outside your apartment.
That’s when you noticed him run down the stairs, a sweet smile on his face that soon disappeared behind the darkness of the blindfold he covered your eyes with.
“Riki, what’re you doing?” You asked, sticking out your arms to help guide you as you felt your feet start moving.
“Ahh, so you don’t greet me with ‘good morning, pooks’ anymore? I thought you loved me,” he smirked, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine against the chilly weather.
“Good morning pooks…” you said with forced enthusiasm, now feeling your feet approach the stairwell, “if I miss one of these steps by the way, my family will not hesitate to sue you- ahhh!!”
You felt yourself lift up from the ground, Riki carrying you bridal style as he walked up the stairs with you, your hands clinging to him like a scared kitten.
“Shhh,” he teased, giggling at your reaction, “unless you’re trying to wake up your neighbors…”
You sighed in relief as he finally put you down, almost in denial that he actually carried you up an entire flight of stairs like that.
You heard the front door click as he opened it with the spare key that you now partially regret giving him.
“We’re almost there,” he said, guiding you to your bedroom before stopping to untie the blindfold from behind your head, “okay, you can open your eyes now.”
It took a moment for your vision to adjust to the lighting, but once it did, you were left completely stunned.
Are string of sparkly lights decorated your window with clusters of bright balloons dangling at each end.
Your entire bed was circled by balloons, too, that sat atop the floor which was covered in sprinkles of confetti.
There was also a desk in the center of your room, a pretty cake and unlit candles all waiting for you.
“Happy Birthday, ____,” your boyfriend smiled from behind you, just as your eyes caught sight of the polaroid pictures tied above your bed of you and Riki over the years, “what do you think?”
“I… it’s… I can’t believe you did all this, Riki,” you said with shock, feeling your heart warm up the longer you looked at everything.
“Oh, I was asking what you’d think about me giving you birthday licks,” he chuckled, watch as you turned to see his hands lift you up again, plopping you on the bed as he playfully smacked your arm before stopping at five.
You looked him in the eyes with the confusion, “Riki.”
“What?”
“You stopped at five…”
“Oh, I didn’t think you’d want me to keep going,” he shrugged, cocking his hand back again to finish out your licks.
“No! I’m good, five is good,” you yelped with widened eyes, giggling a bit at his actions.
“Thought so,” he grinned, kissing you on the cheek before helping you up.
Riki eventually lit the candles on your cake, playing the birthday song for you on his phone as you blew out the candles, too happy to even bother making a wish, because what more could you possibly want in this moment?
“Cake for breakfast?” Riki offered, already holding the knife as he walked behind you again, guiding your hands to help you slice the cake.
“Awww, it has pink filling,” you smiled, just as he took a swab of the icing border with his finger for you to taste.
“Yep! And it’s your favorite flavor, too,” he added, watching as you tasted the icing, “thanks for not biting my finger this time…”
“Hey, that was an accident, and you know it…” You nudged, swabbing a bit of the frosting yourself to put on his nose.
He gasped at your actions, taking another swipe of icing to smear on your lip, giggling at the way you looked now.
“Guess I can’t escape your teasing… even when it’s my birthday,” you pouted, just as he cradled your face in his hands, turning your gaze to look up at him.
“Aww, don’t pout when you started it,” Riki smirked, just as his soft lips connected with your cake flavored ones, kissing you gently in front of the sparkly fairy lights as butterflies erupted in your stomach.
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♡ For my sweet baby @microwvdstrawb3rri3s , first of all, MOOOOO 🐮, and second of all, Happy 17th Birthday !! May God bless you with many more moments to celebrate like this in the future !! ✨
♡ And for my usual taglist: : @squoxle @ashgonedash @nikisdubblchococake @yourmomscuntis2tighy @watamotee33
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deansapplepie · 9 months
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The Spitting Image | Part 1
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Summary: Years passed since last time you saw your ex-boyfriend and father of your son. Fate decided the perfect moment for you to reconnect was after the end of the world.
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x f! Reader
Warnings: swearing, threatening, someone is punched, mentions of violence, mentions of doing harm to children (none of the characters, it’s just a thought), walkers, mentions of injuries, a little angsty. Minors do not interact. (If I forgot anything let me know)
Word Count: 4,419
A/N: It was supposed to be a one shot, but it was getting too big and I wasn’t in the middle of it, so I’ll make a mini series of it.
The reader’s son is 17 yo, so if you don’t feel comfortable reading something self insert having a kid this age, it’s up to you.
Here I’m supposing Daryl is in the beginning of his 40s when they get to Alexandria to make sense the age of his son.
Also, I have no idea how are the laws in the U.S.A. To register your children, so if it’s not possible to register a kid with the name of the father without the father, let’s pretend in this universe it is.
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Series Masterlist Part 2
Main Masterlist
It had been days that you were out there with Aaron and Eric, you had found a possible group to invite to Alexandria. While you and Aaron was observing them from afar in the road, Eric was in a nearby city waiting for you.
That group seemed like a good group, they took care of each other and shared. They also had a kid and a baby, it needed to mean something. As a mom, you could clearly identify with their struggles and want to protect every kid you came by, unless it was a psychopath kid that wanted to kill you and your son, then… you had no empathy.
United and righteous people were exactly the kind of people you needed for Alexandria. It seemed as they were hungry and thirsty you had some supplies you could give them to help. Hiding on the trees you could only observe them using binoculars as you needed to remain far from them because of safety. You had never zoomed to observe them this much before, but there was something intriguing you and you didn’t voice it to Aaron yet. He was one of your best friends back in Alexandria, but you had to make sure.
There were a guy, all wearing black. He had a sleeveless black shirt that showed his toned arms, he seemed to be tall and had really broad shoulders and a relatively long hair. He carried a crossbow, and even though he was as tired and week as everyone else, he tried to not let it show. You only knew a person like this, but it had been so long since you last saw him that you thought this was your mind playing games with you. You were so young back then, you changed so much… he probably did too, probably you even crossed paths before the world ended and you didn’t recognized each other. But you had to make sure it wasn’t him so just your mind would relax and you could control your anxiety.
That’s why you were zooming the binoculars to the maximum and focusing solely on him, expecting him to look to a side so you could clearly see his face. He did, and when he did your heart stopped for some milliseconds and you thought all the air was drawn from your lungs. “Holly shit!” Was the only thing you were able to say, so glad now you could openly curse, because there wasn’t any child around.
“What’s it?” Aaron asked curiously and you passed him the binoculars unable to say anything. He looked at it, zooming out and couldn’t see anything extraordinary. “I don’t see anything. What did you see?”
You rested your back on the trunk of the tree that you were both sitting on its branch. You tried to breath in and out, just like your therapist had recommended you when you started to treat you’re anxiety.
“Y/N, what happened?” Aaron asked again turning his attention to you and holding your hand, which you accepted gratefully.
“I… I think my ex is in this group.” Oh my God. You were freaking out! It wasn’t as if you had ended bad, well it depends on the point of view, but seeing him after all this years, after all that happened, after…
“You think?” Aaron asked one more time, if it was your ex why you sounded like you were not completely sure.
“Yes, it was a long time ago. We were barely adults, so we changed a lot, but I’m 98% sure the archer is him.” You said continuing your exercise and taking your canteen with shaking hands to drink some water.
“Oh… let me check him out and see if you have good taste in men.”
“Aaron!” You protested the most silently you could. “Well, you may surprise a little when you see him, he is…”
“… DJ’s father! Holly crap!” He looked at you as if he had seen a ghost as the man looked exactly like the teenager boy he knew back in Alexandria, of course the man was way older than the boy. “Do you have an uterus or a copy machine in your belly?”
“Ok, if even you can see it’s totally him.” You said and you didn’t know if you were relieved or anxious, probably both at the same time.
“Ok, so… is he a good person to take with us?” He had to ask, even though you were good friends, you never talked much about him, it seemed to hurt you a lot, so he never pushed.
“Yes, of course. Don’t think I’d have named my child after him if he wasn’t.” You answered. It wasn’t his fault or yours, you just had to blame people like your parents that thought they were better than everyone else. “It’s just that it has been so long after last time we saw each other, I’m just nervous to meet him again.”
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You tried approaching them by letting water and food as a gift for them on the road, but they just rejected everything, they were suspicious, they probably went through a lot of shit. You don’t blame them, you’d react the same if it was you. A heavy storm caught you by surprise, you needed to find shelter and protect yourselves. Once you saw the group entered a barn, you decided to go back to your RV and wait the next day or the storm pass before approaching them more directly this time.
The next morning the weather had improved, so you left again to where they were. At distance you saw two women near to the location of the barn, you approached them and presented yourselves and minutes later both of you were on your knees, hands behind your heads and an angry man in front of you. But before the said angry man could do anything or ask anything, the archer came from the shadows and your name left his lips. “Y/N”
“Daryl.” You replied a smile on your face, you wanted to keep a more straight face don’t be so pathetic about how you were happy to see him there alive, older and hotter, but you couldn’t, because it had always been like that, you’d see him and you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. You’d open the biggest smile at him and would have your heart racing with excitement and anxiety.
“Do you know each other?” The angry man asked Daryl, but you replied. You couldn’t hold your tongue, you were anxious and when it was like that, you’d say even what you weren’t meant to say.
“We dated.” You answered, also you knew that Daryl would die of shyness if he had to say you dated or anything like this. That’s if deep inside him he was still that boy.
The man you came to know the name was Rick Grimes shot you a look that said ‘I wasn’t talking to you.’ and then looked back at Daryl in hopes he would confirm it or not. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“If she’s his ex, she’s no good. We should better don’t believe them.” You saw a ginger man with a big mustache speaking.
“Listen here, Obelix. You better not bad mouth me again or I’ll beat you so hard your mustache is going to end on your ass!” You were normally sweet and polite, but you’d never let anyone judge you, or anyone that you loved, especially this person that doesn’t even know you.
“Definitely related to Daryl.” An asian man said and couldn’t contain a small laugh, even in the state the group was.
Daryl had a smirk on his face and you couldn’t read what it meant. The Rick guy didn’t took it easy on you just because Daryl knew you, he argument people could change and he wasn’t wrong. Most of the time he hold the conversation with Aaron and you were glad about it, Aaron was better at this than you were, even though you could bring a sense of comfort most of the times when you approached women or groups with children, this wasn’t a situation where Aaron actually needed you. Unless they decided to kill both of you or something else, then you’d have to play the last card you could with them and that could only be used with them, because of Daryl. You’d need to use your son to convince them to let you go, and you’d hate to do such thing. Using your son to blackmail someone was never something you’d like to do.
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You remembered the day you first had the courage to talk to him, you had always thought he was cute and cool, but you never had the courage. Until a day your “friends” excluded you and you didn’t even got to know why. You were 16 and they were so immature to do such thing, so yeah, it was their loss you thought. That’s what you tried to say and convince yourself you were better without them.
At lunch time having no table to sit, you went straight to his table, that was it, your opportunity to get to know him. “Can I have a sit here?” You asked in front of him.
“ ‘m not the owner of the chair.” He said, eyes on his plate. “But ya won’t want to be seen with me sweetheart.”
“Thanks.” You put your tray on the table and took the chair in front of him. “I’m Y/N.”
“Daryl. We already know each other. We had a subject together. Once.” He remembered! You were ecstatic, of course you’d remember him, you developed a huge crush on him since you had to pair up, but you didn’t expect him to remember you. You didn’t think you were as cool as the other girls to be remembered. “Ya still have time to maintain the integrity of yer reputation and leave.”
“I have no reputation to save, my friends simply decided I’m not cool anymore, so… fuck them, gonna make whatever I want.” He snorted, he never thought he’d live to see you cuss. You never looked like one to do so. “What’s funny?”
“Thought you never cussed.”
“Well, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me Dixon.” You replied and from this time you started to pass more and more time together, starting a strange friendship that was the commonest thing for both of you, but people outside loved to judge.
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Most of the time they were discussing, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. It was as if you did, he’d disappear into thin air. In the end Rick sent a group to your RV to confirm if you were telling the truth and threatened killing you if they took too long to comeback. After they came back, Rick agreed to go to Alexandria but they would drive and you should tell them where it was, and then started again another drama.
“How are we supposed to trust you? Maybe you got another group and a radio and you’re going to attack our place. We have children and elders, we can’t risk.” You tried to reason with him, even though you knew you were in a small number and you’d never win this ‘battle’.
“Don’t you trust Daryl?” Rick threw this card. Really?
“How am I supposed to when you didn’t believe me and he did nothing to tell you were wrong and I could be trusted?” He knew you were right, not even for a second you thought Daryl wasn’t the same, but you had a point and even he knew it.
In the end you had no option but give in to their requests. You took them to the nearest city so you could take Eric too and while fighting against walkers he got his ankle hurt. Not longer after you got back to the road and in direction of Alexandria. While going there you tried to make some small talk with them, but most were not very open to it.
“What’s her name?” You asked Daryl that had a beautiful baby in his arms.
“ ‘s Judith.” He answered, he looked at her with such adoration. It was adorable to see such a big and rustic man being so tender with a baby in his arms.
“She’s so pretty.” You always wanted a baby girl, but of course you were more than happy with your baby boy. It was just a silly girl dream to have a daughter so you can play doll with them. “Can I hold her a little? There’s a long time I don’t get to hold a baby.”
Despite the common silent agreement of the group to not trust you just yet, he trusted you and was sure you’d do nothing against his ‘lil ass kicker’. So he let you have her a little in your arms and she continued to sleep peacefully. Carl observed you with the eyes of a hawk, ready to end you if you did anything wrong against his little sister, but you didn’t.
“Is your family with ya?” Daryl drawled by your side while you were mesmerized by little Jude. He wanted to know if your asshole of dad was still around and also your mom, but he couldn’t ask it like this, he didn’t know how your relation with them were after everything, he didn’t want to offend you.
“It’s just me and my son, but he’s not this cute anymore and I no longer can carry him in my arms like that.” You replied, wishing he’d have curiosity about DJ, but also afraid of where this curiosity could take you in this moment.
“What’s his name?” He asked trying to be polite, but deep down it hurt him that you had another lover and had a child, he couldn’t control this, but it was painful anyway.
“DJ.” You simply said, god you didn’t want to reveal at this moment your baby was Daryl Dixon Junior. Before he could ask the name and not the nickname, you threw another question at him. “Did you get any of my letters?”
He was taken aback. You tried to keep contact with him. You tried to reach him out. “Did ya send me letters? I… Ididn’t know. I left with Merle shortly after what happened. Probably old man got them.”
By his surprise you believed he really didn’t know. He never read the letters. He never ignored you or pretended your son didn’t exist. Deep down, you knew he’d never do that, but you never could confirm it, because you never got to see him again. Until now.
A little after Carl took Judith from your arms, you already had enough. He couldn’t let you more than you were supposed to with the baby. While your mind wandered to the past, Daryl’s were a turmoil trying to decipher what could be the name of your son, since you gave no detail.
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The day prior he had warned you ‘wear sneakers tomorrow, you asked why and he just repeated what he said before. So you did. There was almost a year since your friendship with Daryl Dixon started and at that moment, he was your best friend. Sometimes he’d stay with you studying in the library or just hanging out around the city. You trusted him.
Next day, you arrived at school and found him next to an old blue truck. “What’s that?”
“A car.” He answered the obvious.
“I know dumbass! But where did you get it?” You asked curiously, he had never gone to school in one.
“I borrowed it from Merle without telling him.” Which means he stole his own brother, at least for some hours. “I’m returning it later, probably won’t even know about it. He’s knocked out in his bedroom.”
“Ok, if he catch us, I’m telling it was all you.” You played with him, but you knew Merle would never catch you, at least not before Daryl arrived at home with it.
“It actually was.” He shrugged. “Also, no way he’d believe a sweet thing like you helped me in any of that.” You instantly blushed, it wasn’t always that Daryl would throw sweet words or compliments at you, so every time you’d not fail and blush. “Did ya wear sneakers?”
“Yep.” You put one foot in front of you to show your sneakers.
“Pink? Really?” He teased you, he knew for sure you’d wear at least one thing pink and you were always wearing sandals or any other more delicate shoes.
“I don’t have many sneakers, so… yeah.” You retracted your foot to stand close to the other again.
As soon as the bell rang you entered the school and went to your classes. In the end of the day, you got together at the parking lot ready to spend your day together. “Where are we going?” You asked curiously.
“Get in the car and you’ll see.” He replied going to the driver’s side.
“Ok, Dar. I’ll let you be all mysterious while I die out of curiosity.” You dramatically entered the truck and took the passenger sit.
You drove for some time and even got outside the city. You knew he was familiarized with the forest, he told you he’d hunt, but you never thought he’d bring you someday near it. “You know I know shit about hunting, don’t you?” You asked while the car stopped close to a small trail.
“Yep, dun worry. I didn’t bring ya here to go hunting. It’s something else, wanna show you a place.” He slightly touched your hand reassuring you and you could swear it sent a delicious tingling sensation all over your body.
He got out of the truck, took a bag in the truck bed and waited for you so you could start the trail. There was 5 minutes you were walking when you tripped and almost fell down, leading to the boy to hold your hand until you arrived at your final destination.
It was a waterfall, a beautiful one, with a small lake. The water was a beautiful green surrounded by big rocks. You got all excited with the sight and gave your biggest smile to him, which made his heart flutter and stole a small smile from him.
You took your sneakers off and both of you sat on a rock where you could put your feet in the cold refreshing water. There was the shadow of a tree that made it bearable to be outside there in the warm weather. You loved how Daryl was relaxed and just enjoying the place and your company, you could talk a lot or talk nothing and it would be perfect for him.
You don’t know what made you do that, but the moment just felt perfect to speak your mind to him, actually speak with your heart. “I like you, Daryl.”
“Yeah, we’re friends of course ya do.” It was obvious if you didn’t you wouldn’t be around.
“No, I like you in the way I’ve been crushing on you for years and just now I have the courage to say, yay…” you said, trying to be a little funny so the moment wouldn’t be so embarrassing, but it would be already too embarrassing if he just rejected you at that moment.
He looked at you impressed and thinking how you could like him for so long if everybody in the school, no, in the damn city thought he was a sore loser and a scumbag. “Are ya sure?” He double checked, just in case.
“I wouldn’t put myself in this embarrassing situation with risk of you rejecting me and losing your friendship if I didn’t.” You turned to look at him and were struck by his deep blue eyes that seemed to see your soul every time you looked into it. “It’s ok if you don’t feel the same, I’ll…”
Before you could finish your apologetic sentence, his lips crashed on yours and his hand held yours one more time, and that was the first of many kisses you’d come to share in the following years.
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You woke up startled, the RV came to a stop. You were finally at the gates of Alexandria, you and Aaron got off first and the rest of the group followed you and once the gates were open you could see that at the same time they were cautious they were also impressed with the place. You entered the gate and Deanna came to welcome the new people. Aaron took Eric to the infirmary and before you could excuse yourself and go home take a good bath and spend some quality time with your child, you saw the tall teenager in his 17s running in your direction. You suddenly worried, he would see him. Both of them would see each other. You smiled at your baby boy that wasn’t a baby anymore, and he hugged you tightly even taking you from the ground. He had became so tall in the last years that it was funny to see the difference of his height to his mom’s.
Daryl was frozen in place, when he saw the young man running in your direction it was as if he could see his younger self in the past, but he wasn’t hallucinating or anything like that, because that boy that looked so much like him had also many features from you. The group looked surprised at the boy, probably thinking the same thing Aaron thought when he landed his eyes at Daryl. A million thoughts ran on the hunter’s mind, this kid just could be his… he had too because no way someone could look so much like the other and don’t be blood related, especially being the son of your youth lover.
“How are you baby?” You asked cupping DJ’s face with your hand and checking his face to see if he was healthy and well.
“I’m ok mom, are you good?” He asked back observing you, he had always been such a good observer.
“We need to talk…” you started to say but couldn’t finish because the boy’s eyes landed on Daryl some meters behind looking at both of you.
DJ knew, you told him before how he looked so much like his dad. So he knew when he looked strictly to an older version of him. He put you aside and walked strong steps on Daryl’s direction, you yelled his name but he just ignored you and before you could stop him, he punched his father right on his jaw.
“DJ! No!” You put yourself between both of them.
“No? Mom! He never cared about us and now he just shows here like this? He ignored all the letters you sent and the pictures of me, and…” he bursted the feelings trapped on his chest all those years. He had the perfect speech on his mind, he elaborated it for years just to end his father and make him ashamed of what he did, but now he didn’t even say half of it and the rest stayed stuck in his throat unable to come out as tears accumulated in his blue eyes.
“It’s ok. I probably deserve it.” Daryl said from behind.
“Honey, it’s not like this. We don’t solve anything like this. You don’t know the whole story.” You rested your hands on your son’s shoulders.
“You mean the edited version of how he never cared about us, or looked for us? I know you never told me everything, I’m not stupid. And I also know men are bastards that don’t care about discarding pregnant women!” Shit. Shit. Shit. Things were getting out of control the boy was causing a scene.
“Listen to me, Daryl Dixon Junior! I’m your mother and I’d never name you after your father if he was this kind of bastard!” You firmly told him, there were so many years that you didn’t call him by his whole name that he knew he would be in trouble if he didn’t obey you at that moment. “Now, apologize, go home and wait for me.”
“Fine.” The young man said teeth greeted. “I’m sorry for punching you because you’re an asshole.” With that he turned around and left before you could lecture him one more time in front of everyone.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Daryl asked. Obviously not talking about the past, it was clear to him that you tried in the past.
“I wouldn’t dare use my son to bring you to safety. I know you’d come if I said, and your group… I know this kind of bond, you’re family. I didn’t want to be selfish and make all of you come because I used DJ to convince you. I wanted you to come because you wanted, because you trusted what Aaron and I were offering.”
He couldn’t understand well about it, he wasn’t a father till some minutes ago… even though he wished he was one long before, the kid really had a personality, reminding him a lot about himself and even about Merle. But he could try to understand, to listen to you and if he stopped to think, it didn’t made a difference if you told before or now, he would still have the same feeling of anxiety, excitement and lost, lost for all the years and everything that he lost not being around his son.
“I’m sorry you had to discover like that.” You apologized even though you knew in no way it would be less shocking for him. “We have a lot to talk, the three of us… of course, if you want to.”
“Yeah, we need to talk. I wanna know everything and I wanna know him, if ya allow me and if he wants.” He was quick to answer. God, how could you even give him a choice? He had to do it.
“Great. So… I’m gonna let you finish solving things with Deanna, when you are free, come to my house. It’s the one with the magenta pink doormat.” You give some steps backwards, eyes still on him.
“Pink, hugh…” he knew everything with you needed to have a little of pink and for sure with the end of the world you could not afford pink acessories, at least you’d make sure that one thing in your life was.
“Yes…” you almost murmured. “I’ll see you later.”
“See ya…” he replied. Wanna be added to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series)
Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325
Dividers by @cafekitsune
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toocabaret · 1 year
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I’ve been having some Thoughts™️ about the weird meta paradox of gerri kellman’s sexuality. as basically The Older Woman on the executive floor she’s trying as much as is possible to blend in with her male colleagues while also not being perceived to be doing so. muted colours and understated makeup. a competent filing cabinet. her husband is dead and her daughters are nameless. she was sexual once but that’s out of sight out of mind and now it’s just the work. it must be a relief in some ways to become finally unfuckable because you’re over 40. she can finally be taken seriously, but only if she toes the line between being too female and not female enough. trying but not too hard. desirable in the past tense only. an honorary man but still in a skirt. and while the men around her can fuck their much younger assistants and get sports massages and run a sex trafficking ring on a cruise ship, she is the job and only the job and that keeps her safe. for a bit anyway.
the irony of gerri saving the company from the full legal extent of a sex scandal by dating someone from the DOJ??? like i’ll never be over it. even filing cabinets have to flatter and please and fuck when called upon. i genuinely don’t believe any of the other execs could have swung it because they’re not women. she dated laurie (generally unseen unless framed from another man’s possessive perspective) to save the men from going to jail for covering up rape allegations. the irony is delicious. and even though she did that, she’s discarded once she’s framed sexually. Dick Pic Gate was out of her control and yet when confronted with any element of gerri’s sexuality (even her PASSIVE sexuality, even after using it to save his company), logan dismisses her as weak or impractical or failing or whatever other excuse he uses to justify his disgust.
i would argue that roman’s interest in gerri is not in spite of but BECAUSE of her asexual framing. it’s a challenge that he’s never going to win which is ideal for his impotency issues; he can push and push and get the thrill out of it, out of the fucked up power dynamic, but he knows he’ll never have to actually fuck her. it’s all hypothetical: down a phone, through a door, half-joking, covered in sensible skirt suits. gerri’s deliberate lack of sexualizing is counterintuitively a turn-on for roman. and i bet the game of chicken they play is freeing for her too because the fact that she has to be professional and cannot be sensual is part of the fun of it. “roman is weird about gerri”. “it’s fucking disgusting”. not because of their family history, or their professional positions, but because she’s old. because the absence of her sexuality is enough of a presence to be off-putting. shiv patronising her about it as a power play is so weird because she’s talking to her simultaneously like a child and like an old woman, and gerri, agency-less, just has to keep reassuring her “i can cope”.
BUT it’s worse than that because it’s so meta. Because gerri is hot. her actor is attractive and like roman, many people watching find her sexless, no-nonsense framing to be titillating. me included. what if roman likes gerri not because of oedipal issues but just because she’s hot and god forbid we find a woman over 50 hot? but whether or not gerri is hot in the context of the show shouldn’t be a big deal, she should have been able to escape this by now!!! she’s in her 60s she’s a widow she’s tired stop sexualizing her!!! but don’t NOT sexualize her either because that’s problematic too and old women can be hot and old women shouldn’t have to be hot and suddenly i’m making gerri do what waystar does and exist as something sexual and non-sexual at the same time. she has a huge plotline in which she’s essentially a sex object. whether or not gerri is fuckable is talked about as much in the show with mildly-disgusted fascination as it is in the real world!!! she can’t win she’s hot she’s old she’s sexually framed she’s deliberately trying not to be she wants sex she doesn’t want sex she’s covering sex with sex and she’s telling roman to leave her alone so she can just do her damn job because she knows that this is what will bring her down!!! sex scandals historically don’t get men fired but an unsolicited dick pic knocks gerri off her podium in logan’s head forever. even now i’m talking about it at such length because i’ve given it so much thought!!! she’s the only woman in the old guard and she’s one of the most sexualized characters in succession. but only as a joke. in the abstract. never actually. because that would be weird. right?
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