#unlearning identity

[turiyatitta]

Your Very Own Face

The Face of God Is Your Very Own Face Turned Inside Out What if the divine is not something to be discovered but something to be remembered? Imagine that every search for the sacred is a quiet whisper urging you to turn your gaze inward—not as a way to find answers, but to dissolve the very questions themselves. The face of God is not hidden; it is simply turned inside out. Consider for a…

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

the g*yl*rs but also (i believe in being a fair adjudicator of internet nonsense) some like non-swiftie swift-listeners who are not in the g*yl*r camp have this whole thing about how much they hate WAG taylor and how she's giving tradwife vibes or whatever for the crime of, like... going to her football player boyfriend's football games and hanging out with the friends of the guy she's dating. and, i mean, look, obviously fuck the NFL lol. but taylor swift is quite famously one of the most employed and financially independent people alive. before people were getting annoyed at her for hanging with her famous boyfriend they were getting annoyed with her largely because there was so much coverage of her, like, doing her job unceasingly and unrelentingly for over a year now. how are you being the champion of feminism and women's rights if you see a literal billionaire hanging out with her boyfriend and go "why is she centering her boyfriend and making everything about the man in her life"... she's not... she's literally just going to her boyfriend's football games... YOU'RE the one making a thing about it... also words mean things.... "tradwife" does not mean "hangs out with her boyfriend and his friends sometimes"... it literally doesn't... if you think the problem with tradwifeness as a movement or concept is about the vibes and optics you have missed the entire ass point... anyway as always this is not rly about taylor swift it's about the fact that feminism lost and it bums me out to see queer women being like "a woman on a date is an appendage of the man she's dating" and act like they're on the side of righteousness here

[faggotryandtransjesterism]

being in fandom and aro is like i enjoy these characters' dynamic 'right? they're the perfect couple!' hmm well they're not together in canon, so that's not really the dynamic i'm talking about 'oh, so you don't ship them? i guess it's because you're aro, but that's okay! they can still be platonic!' free your mind.. please. do you understand that these categories of attachment are made up? are you capable of enjoying a relationship dynamic without first defining it?

[little-grey-dowitcher]

How the actual fuck is aphobia still this prevalent in the queer community? How is it that I’m still seeing posts pop up from as recent as last month about how aspecs need to shut up and stop pretending to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community in the year of our lord 2024? How many more people need to be harassed and traumatized for being queer the “wrong way” before we finally just let people be themselves without facing discrimination from within our community? Oh my bad I forget we need to be continuously finding “acceptable” targets for bigotry whenever it gets pointed out that hey maybe bigotry is Not Good actually. Now that it’s slowly becoming less popular to be shitty to trans mascs and AFAB enbies we’re circling back to aces again, is that it? We’re just following the TE/RF playbook with this one too?

It’s so fucking obvious too how many of these people were actively aphobic back at the height of the ace discourse, then quieted down when it was no longer widely acceptable, and are popping back up to start shit again. Like, you search “asexual” on their blog and from 2018-2023 it’s dead silent but then you see their most recent post on the topic from last week is exactly the same aphobic bullshit they were posting in 2017 but with a new coat of paint. They didn’t actually learn their lesson and stop being hateful, they just sat in the corner waiting for their hatred to become acceptable again.

Anyways. Next person to call aces or aros or aroaces or any other aspec person “annoying” for making an aspec-related joke or for just not wanting to be excluded from the queer community is gonna get bitten.

[think-queer]

If you view any group of trans people as essentially "hysterical whiny women afabs who don't have any real problems and need to shut up" then please stay far far away from me

[watermelinoe]

hii. I feel really odd doing this but I have nobody to ask for advice in real life and I can't post to reddit because surprise surprise all the radical feminist/gender critical subreddits got taken down, and you seem like a kind intelligent individual who might have good thoughts

so, my best friend whose fake name will be Aspen, and who in all honestly I've been completely in love with since we were seated next to each other in seventh grade pre algebra when I was eleven years old (I have never told them although I'm kind of awful at hiding it) is female but identifies as non-binary, and uses they/them (which is what I'm using here because I use those pronouns for them in real life and it feels odd to change that just in this ask). I was raised by a radical feminist philosopher, and I am itching to say who but then my cover would be completely blown, and I share almost all of her views, including the gender-critical ones.

the thing is that when I met Aspen and became absolutely enamored with who they are as a person and for about a year after that, I too identified as nonbinary and was very anti-radfem. I have since detransitioned and gone back to my birth name and everything and Aspen has been incredibly supportive, but I have never told them how my views have shifted about "transgender" politics. I have brought it up without explicitly stating it, we had a conversation where I genuinely inquired about how they felt their "gender identity" was different from simply being a gender non conforming woman and how being trans is supposedly different from identifying with the gender roles of another gender. they did not dismiss me and we actually had a productive conversation which really shows you how kind and smart they are. I think I introduced some new perspectives that may or may not end up being actionable on their part because as of now they haven't brought it up again though they did definitely seem receptive and genuinely thought about it.

obviously, I think that their gender identity and subsequent trans politics have been heavily influenced by general patriarchy and societal values, but as most radical feminists do, I do not at all believe that this is their fault. but I feel like I can't try to help them without alienating them or making them feel as if I don't love them or that I believe them to be broken in some way, especially given that they've identified this way since before I knew them and were very severely bullied for it growing up. for me, their identity and politics do not change the fact that they're my first and only love, and hands-down the kindest and most compassionate person I've ever met.

I adore them and I do not know how to balance that and my commitment to radical feminism, both of which I would fight to the death defending but which seem to inherently contradict each other, and I feel like I cannot do this juggling act forever and need to somehow make them understand what's behind their identity, keeping in mind their background, without breaking their heart and their trust in me as a person and a friend.

I'm so sorry to leave this in your askbox and you are not at all obligated to respond to it but you seem like someone who might have some insight

xM

i think this is comparable to loving someone who is deeply religious when you are an atheist. do you see yourself single-handedly deconstructing their faulty belief system? you can't make someone come to the conclusions you want them to, especially not a deeply held and essentially spiritual belief that is not rooted in reality. of course you can love someone despite a fundamental difference in beliefs, but you can't expect to change them, and that's okay. your commitment to radical feminism isn't evangelical, you're not responsible for converting other women and you're not only allowed to associate with other "believers." the connections we make with other women, meeting them where they are, are material and vital. it's fine to gently press back against her beliefs, and you should feel comfortable being open with yours.

[spikyspinachstreet]

you ever realize a reoccurring theme in ur stories and then you just kinda go like “ah”

[thecorporatetower]

We could literally tell anti-endos our system was originally formed/diagnosed/originally found out as/whatever by trauma and they’ll still say they’re the “real systems”. Fucking friendly fire! Just say you jump to fake claim others when their experience isn’t the exact same as yours. Just say you wanna control how other people are supposed to think and feel when it comes to systems (referencing the common mindset that being a system is supposed to be “miserable” and being a system is “not fun”)

Also please don’t put ableists on your dni and then turn around and say endos aren’t real.

Not up for debate or to argue on this, we’re saying our piece, and this is final.

-Natasha/Angel

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Smh my head I miss my Serennedy Cowboy/Dressage rider au. Literally one of the best things I’ve ever come up with AND I did it with others!!!!!!!!!! I need to make more content for it istg

[bugflies00]

fostering au cwil is …. Sort of cis. Kindof . he doesnt question it for at least the first 25 or so years of his existence . but then cq, who on the other hand considers gender like a challenge and wears everything he wants, offhandedly offers cwil to wear one of his skirts once and he Likes it . a Bit too much. he never Really goes that deeper into it because a) he doesnt care that much b) he doesnt really experience any sort of dysphoria. its more that like, as he matures and also as he spends more time with people like cq, cniki, ceret who are all very outwardly not cis, he kinda just grows more comfortable in himself and wearing what he wants. so sometimes he’ll wear maxi skirts or long flowy shirts. hes still just Some Guy in his mind and hes aware theres maybe a bit more going on but he doesnt really care beyond that

[wildganz]

i have something to say but everyone has already said it before me and people will say it after my death too

[catgrandpa]

! 🏳️‍🌈 Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈 !

Anyway here is my Most of The Todoroki Family are Both Queer AND Homophobic agenda.

Enji is gay and not repressed about it, he knows he is, but he’s still homophobic as hell. Will go on a public rant about how Sesame Street is turning all the kids gay and all you snowflakes are mad that somebody is finally saying smth. Then he’ll get cancelled and fuck a man about it.

Rei is a lesbian but also doesn’t think queer people exist. Sheltered by her family when growing up. Isolated by her husband in marriage. And life in a hospital isn’t usually conducive to learning queer rights.

Nurse: yeah my son’s husband-

Rei: that’s not a thing don’t be ridiculous 🙄

Shouto is queer but will say the most out of pocket homophobic shit but he doesn’t actually care either way. He would do the Norm Macdonald ‘I am a deeply closeted gay guy’ Larry King interview but entirely serious.

Natsuo is pansexual and is very loud and proud at pride to spite Endeavor. Will get in front of a news crew completely decked out in pride gear and say “Wishing everyone a happy Pride from the Todoroki Family 🥰✌️.” And yes this is after Endeavor gets canceled.

Fuyumi is lesbian but thinks it’s selfish to be out, and it just makes life hard and uncomfortable for other people. A friend of hers tells her that they’re coming out to their family and she very sincerely and without any malice asks why and urges them not to.

Touya is masc preference bisexual and hates everyone equally but in a South Park way and says awful shit all the time. Like when queer folks are homophobic as a bit, but nobody knows it’s a bit because he’s aggressively straight passing.

[swordmaid]

scrolling through my shri’iia/bg3 tag looking for a specific thing and every post is like, here’s another awful situation I will put my baby girl in 🤭

[kittymeow180]

Have you ever even had a conversation with a trans women before? Why are you revolving your whole identity around excluding them?

tras when they find out i was in the trans community and am still friends with those people even after becoming a radfem. when they find out my friend discord server consists of nonbinary people, transmascs, a transwoman, and radfems #peaceandloveontheplanetearth

[mettatonsass]

Jewblr I'm asking for your help.

I don't know how to be a jew and I would like some resources to learn how to be a good jew.

I was raised by a conservative xtian mother who was very antisemetic and really only taught me stereotypes about being jewish. My dad's heritage is jewish (my parents divorced when I was around a year old) and I always felt a strong connection to the Jewish community but never knew until recently that I was a part of it.

I'm non-observant due to holding other religious beliefs (I'm a polytheist) so I'm not sure how talking to a Rabbi would go, plus the closest Synogogue to me is an hour drive and I have no way of making that drive.

I'm trying to research, but I really don't know where to start in said research. I want to connect with my jewish heritage and culture and I need help with this.

Thank you for any help, sorry if this seems vague. I'm just really looking for a mentor I think.

I just want to be a good jew.

[nururu]

I don't understand why there's such a pressure on representing your gender identity outwardly when it's literally so fucking dangerous. If you're brave enough good for you. If you have enough mental strength, good for you. But y'all need to stop taking that and using it as an example of how trans ppl should present themselves and then making them feel less than and invalid when they don't do it your way. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of bravery and a lot of mental strength, to be able to do that. Like an astronomical amount. Expecting everyone to have that ability is weird. And I know, logically, people don't expect that. When you actually sit down and have a nuanced conversation, everyone understands this.. but the way trans ppl who don't pass or don't outwardly represent a binary gender on their bodies, get invalidated and treated like they're not good enough bc they're not as brave as you,is ridiculous. It needs to stop.