#uni thinking process

[tchaikovskym]

Me: oh yeah!!! I will definitely extend these parts of the discussion as my thesis advisor advised !!!

Me when I actually had to do it: *wrote 3 sentences extra and called it a day*

[why-the-heck-not]

understanding academic concepts got me blushing swinging my legs giggling

[deathricedrawn]

i'm ready to try

[buqbite]

Halo

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

[stellewriites]

A Helping Hand

throwing my hat in for @the-californicationist’s nameless challenge!

600+ words, sfw, gn!reader, no content warnings it’s all fluff. don’t forget to guess who you think it’s about 🤭

you first met in uni.

it was a couple of weeks in, so you were settled into your classes and confident with the subject matter so far. you’d made friends with your roommates and had checked out the area of the new city you were in. it was all going well.

your current class was in a lecture hall, though the discussion was nothing too important; just going over the reading syllabus for the year. they’d already emailed it out during the summer so you pretended to take notes on your laptop while pulling up wordle.

one of your new roommates had gotten you addicted, it had become a light-hearted competition between you both as you got to know each other before finally meeting in person. they’d finally upped the stakes at the start of the week with a bet and you were determined to beat their average by friday - after all, loser would be paying for drinks on saturday when you all went out.

this day’s puzzle, however, was stumping you. you didn’t want to just guess aimlessly, visions of free drinks seeming ever further away, but you just couldn’t figure out the word either.

F_ _ _R

you stared at the screen unblinkingly, thoroughly distracted from your course and the discussion around you until a hand holding a slip of paper appeared at your shoulder in your peripheral.

you took it hesitantly without looking back and unfolded it. you stared at the word written scratchily across it in disbelief.

FOYER.

fuck. how’d you miss that?

you typed it in and heard a satisfied chuckle behind you when it was correct and pursed your lips to hide your own smile. you figured you should thank the guy at least, he might’ve just won you free drinks after all.

you flicked your eyes up and found the professor busy facing the board and took the chance to swivel in your seat to look up at the one above yours and the handsome man that currently claimed it.

“thanks,” you whispered, your smile turning flirtatious and less guarded when you met his pretty eyes.

“don’t mention it,” he said with an easy shrug, his voice warm.

“oh? you don’t want a favour in return then?” you asked, coy. “you might’ve just won me a bet with a friend, so i owe you.”

his shoulders shook as he huffed. you realised it was a laugh, just muffled behind a surprisingly fond smile aimed your way and a want to keep quiet in the lecture hall. he was clearly charmed by you - and likely the view he had down your shirt as you leant forward against the back of your seat, equally enamoured.

“i could maybe think of some way you could thank me,” he acquiesced, smile turning sly. “better concentrate on the front of the class for now though.” he nodded forward.

with a look over your shoulder you noticed the unimpressed look your professor was sending you both. you sent them a contrite look as you sat back properly and stayed quiet for the rest of the lecture, not wanting to cause a fuss and make a name for yourself too early in the year. you did like this subject after all.

you just liked handsome, helpful men too.

you bit your lip in an attempt at calming your smile and the excited noise that bubbled at the back of your throat when you got a second note passed over your shoulder by a now-familiar hand not ten minutes later. you kept your eyes facing forwards as you took it, wanting to play it cool.

that went out the window however when you opened the note and felt giddiness override it.

coffee after this? it read, followed by his name and number.

absolutely, you thought.

[digiblueslush]

OMG MORE THOUGHTS I literally have so many deep analysis-obdervational thoughts and they're all so complex but I can only explain so many. Here is one about Dan and Phil tho lolz

this became 4x the initially intended length, so cut for convenience and a tldr: Dan and Phil are great, other couple's/relationship content is icky to me, I feel out of place when it comes to irl friends and their relationships, Dan and Phil are great because they're both individuals and a unit at the same time, and I don't feel there is a side to be picked. Dan and Phil are great because they are best friends and not just a romantic or sexual unit. Dan and Phil are great because they are Dan and Phil and they aren't trying to fit any kind of mold. Dan and Phil are just great.

The blurb that is directly about DNP is blue if you only want DNP yappage :3

I find it kind of interesting the way I (and probably some amount of others) feel about Dan and Phil as a "unit" compared to literally any other couple. Cuz ok, not gonna lie but I really hate watching couples YouTube channels or other social media things in any direction. If it's trying to be sexy or something I hate it, if it's trying to be funny, I hate it, I hate those videos where couples do those tests on each other even if it ends well, it sends such an icky vibe my way. I usually really don't like those sappy/wholesome couples videos, but every now and then there's one thats nice (but usually because it has ties to something else that I really like). I dont know if it's just something so overdone or if I feel like I'm seeing something too personal or if its just overall bad, but I just really don't enjoy it

I don't have many friends, nor many friends in relationships, but I've observed even then that I feel out of place for lack of better phrasing. I find the crush phase fun cuz it gives me an excuse to a. Hype up my friends and b. Tell them they're being stupid and overly worried, and I also love seeing them get all excited about something. And I like hearing about the initial couple weeks of a relationship too when new things are being unearthed about both people, but past that I just feel, awkward I guess? I usually know one person as a friend, and the other as an extension of the friend, and I only talk to the other person as such, but sometimes if a friend is complaining about something their partner said, if I say no they had a valid point, I feel like I'm being a bad friend, but it's untruthful if I say my friend is always in the right. I already never know what to do in social situations and adding in another person that I basically all I know about them is their highs and lows and when they're picking a friend up just completely shot putts my social processing to the moon. Out of all of the relationships I have observed with friends, there has quite literally only been 1 where it doesn't feel awkward for both conversations with one or the other and both at the same time, and that couple is basically if Dan and Phil were lesbian stoners lolz. Idk if this part makes sense lolz I rambled for wayyyy too long. (And also I don't mean that if we do talk more personally that I don't want to hear about your relationship if you're in one. If it is something you're excited or upset about and you want to talk to me about it I am quite literally all ears, I am very nosey lolz. It might just be poor experience with past friends as well, but I may need more or less thorough descriptions of things and a general what's cool what's not cool to bring up)

Getting back on track tho, I think Dan and Phil and so great because I am able to see them as individuals as well as a unit. None of their content is about whatever they have going on, and even though we all know what going steady 400 year old tortoises means, I could see very similar content being made by 2 actually just best friends. I think that's another reason why they're so great. A lot of times with publicized relationship things, it is so, SO focused on the romantic or sexual aspect that people forget that so much of a relationship is just doing best friend things. I'll leave my identity and existential and social concept crises out of this, but realistically (I'll specify, I'm not talking about unhealthy or toxic relationships) relationships are mostly just existing in the same space together, seeing something that reminded you of them and showing it to them, jokingly insulting them, and doing things together. Nobody is constantly wearing fancy clothes and professing their love. It feels just so natural and simple. They're able to exist as Dan Howell and Phil Lester, AND exist as Dan and Phil, and having it not be just one side or the other, yet they're still connected enough that even when I watch one of them as an individual more than the other one, I don't feel like I'm being placed into this "Dan is better" "Phil is better" box that most other relationship things put me in, and I can equally praise and insult them both :3

Ramble over DAMN I was like "this is gonna be a short one" and tis not a short one -_____- oh well. WHAT CAN I SAY the autism, Vyvanse, no school no not for fun/personal projects going on deluxe wombo combo going on is going on HARD lmao

[khorart]

the only man i'd kill myself for

[greenerteacups]

What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭

So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.

With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.

Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.

But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.

[meirimerens]

my past and future-again boss hit me up asking if i was interested in working some may june september october and november days on top of the july & august it was agreed i'd get back on the team for. they want meee

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

watching pantheon and feeling sick as i try to do my math practice instead of you know pacing around frantically

[tchaikovskym]

Done with thesis. Only corrections and revisions from now on. Hallelujah yeehaw I'm so happy. I actually can feel joy in this world.

[suddencolds]

~

[ghostdrinkssoup]

// omori spoilers

honestly I really love omori’s character. he’s often seen as the villain but I think he’s more nuanced than that. for the majority of the game he suffers from dissociative amnesia and doesn’t remember what he did to mari, and so is simply watching as everything collapses after basil disappears. and it’s interesting because we play as omori longer than we play as sunny. omori is the first one we meet too, so we quickly become attached to him because he’s us. when you’re playing as omori it’s unlikely you’d see him as a separate character from yourself, even though you don’t get to identify with him the same way you can with sunny (by choosing his name, for instance). but because we spend so much time with omori you can’t help but feel the same tie to him that sunny likely does.

you’ll notice that the game often takes advantage of its medium to liken us to the characters. because we also aren’t aware of what happened (unless you saw spoilers before playing, which ruins the effect) we can relate to omori’s pursuit of the truth since our unfamiliarity with the story mimics his amnesia. thus, it’s his relationship with the player that characterises him. everything we feel is also what he feels. our confusion, curiosity and dread are all things he experiences as his world begins to crumble, because basil glimpsing the truth and disappearing into black space disrupted sunny’s rejection of reality, and therefore forced omori to become aware of the dream he’s stuck in. he discovers all this at the same rate the player does, and the fact that the game implies that omori has tried and failed to accept the truth time and time again showcases how powerful sunny’s denial is and how difficult it is for him to challenge his own safety mechanisms.

and what’s tragic is that omori is a safety mechanism too, although he probably doesn’t realise that either. at least not until we stop playing as him and become sunny instead. by the time we confront omori during the final battle (strange, because we’re essentially fighting ourselves) he’s fully aware that he’s the god of this world, and that his main purpose is to maintain sunny’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. he embodies all of sunny’s self-hatred and guilt, but only because sunny genuinely believes he’s a monster, which is why omori becomes one. if sunny were to forgive himself, it would contradict the safety mechanisms he has in place and he’d fall into cognitive dissonance. there would be no reason for omori to exist anymore. it’s the same reason everyone other than omori begins to forget basil as the game progresses, because the purpose of headspace is to forget the truth and everything that contradicts the imaginary world sunny created for himself — one where he never did anything wrong and childhood lasts forever and his sister is alive and still loves him.

ultimately, even though omori is a parasite he’s just trying to keep sunny safe. he’s sunny trying to protect himself from his own trauma. he’s not evil, and I think this is clear based on how sunny ends up defeating him. it’s not through violence, since omori will never succumb. instead, it’s through forgiveness and self-acceptance. it’s sunny going out of his way to change his worldview and untangle himself from his own damaged psyche, proving that he no longer needs to escape from the horrors of the truth. their final embrace signifies this, because omori also personifies the extent of sunny’s suffering. if he is to forgive himself, he must also forgive omori. likewise, if the player is to forgive themselves (as omori), we must also forgive sunny

[liesonthefloordramatically]

sorry, I will keep kvetching about work to a minimum, but the extent to which everyone in my department is like, "we love and support you as a junior scholar <3" without doing anything to materially support me and ADDITIONALLY I have to chase them around to make sure that things are actually being done is. unhinged.

[wayfayrr]

I hope life eases up soon man, take care of yourself

Thanks mate <3

stuff's starting to gradually get better now, actually let myself feel feelings after bottling them till it popped

just kinda turns out that throwing yourself into something so you're numb to the other things can really burn you out :') So I'm trying to find motivation to write and answer asks again, I'm hoping it'll be soon but idk atp