#under read more bc its a lot

[darabeatha]

If you lost him on a wallmarts, would you call for him on the mall’s management?

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 11: Angst In My Pants (The Decline And Fall Of Me)

Album two of two in the series of Sparks' immaculate new wave releases! Iconic in every way imaginable from the music to the artwork to ONE music video. I think it's more musically (and lyrically!) varied and mature in tone (besides... a couple exceptions. Yes, an album called Angst In My Pants) than its predecessor, which is a very good development. These songs will leave you chuckling and bopping along and also pondering the intricacies of human existence. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but it can't be denied that behind much of the earnestness and theatricality here, there's lots of quite emotional, introspective and thought-provoking stuff to be found.

Thematically, this album goes everywhere. One moment we are in Sextown U.S.A, the next we're visiting Disneyland, California where we make friends among people and animals. On a more serious note though, I think the biggest emotional whiplash one could experience between different songs on an album is between Mickey Mouse and Sherlock Holmes. And yet there's still a very prominent element of humour, even in those songs that are on the more serious or dramatic end of the scale.

I said a few days ago that I'd try to return to the topic of Sparks' brand of humour and how it works, but I don't feel intelligent enough to analyse that today. And I'm pretty sure that from what I've seen, Other People And The Maels Themselves (Said It Better Than Me). So instead, as a little send-off, please remember: if a mouse can be special, well, SO CAN YOU!!! 🫵

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Angst In My Pants: literally no other song like this one in this world. I can't tell why that is but it's just. So great

I Predict: I had a weird kind of effect where I heard this song in my early days of Sparking and it felt VEEERY familiar to me. I think it was due to the genre / style here, it reminded me of something specific, at first I thought it was very glam rock but I'm pretty sure that this is not it but something else (and I don't know what to call it in that case!). Anyway, banger song

Tarzan And Jane: whoa wait, am I already skipping to the third-to-last song on the tracklist?? I guess I am. This one's great and one of my early favs too (I wonder how long it will take until I run out of things to say about my fav songs and it all just becomes this list of 'it's very good and I like it a lot. next.')

The Decline And Fall Of Me: it's great!! I like it!! And, of course, "check out my pizzas"

Eaten By The Monster Of Love: personal reasons that lead to a printed and framed mini-comic of my making appearing on my desk, which features some of the lyrics of this song, which caused me to have it permanently stuck in my head for a pretty long period of time. And this way I ended up liking it much much more than I did in the beginning, when it still seemed somehow pretty unremarkable to me

[liquidstar]

i think that on here we've kinda talked a lot about how the traditional "coming out" narrative presented in popculture is flawed in reality. because it always presents this idea that you have to tell everyone who you Really are, that youre Hiding parts of yourself, that you can never be You until you bare your Secrets to the world. and that actually this isnt because people feel entitled to your personal business but that its hurting YOU when they dont know your personal business so you should really just tell them. (but also dont be "too" proud because thats annoying :( act mostly cishet please but dont lie about it! hehe!) it will work out every time for sure :)

but ofc thats not how real life works. i mean, naturally i understand that there are OF COURSE people out there who want to be loud and proud about who they are, and that this is incredibly important to their identity which theyve suppressed for so long. but that "coming out" narrative is harmful because it ignores many of the reasons it had to be suppressed to begin with. its fucking dangerous! its dangerous to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. they can lose their support system, family, job, house, and their entire life. both in the sense that they'll be completely uprooted from it, and in the sense that they could be killed. so constantly presenting the notion of "coming out is good for you no matter what because its the Only way to be your Real Authentic Self and also you HAVE to do it eventually because thats how this narrative is just Meant to go. be a good little queer and please dont stray from this path."

and the problem is that plenty of young LGBT+ people completely internalize it too! ive had so many convos with young people worried about coming out to their conservative family because, well, theyre supposed to! and their minds are completely blown when i tell them that actually they dont have to do that. that theyre under no obligation to tell everyone their business and its okay to just keep being them w/o making an announcement about it. ESPECIALLY IF IT PUTS THEM IN DANGER!!!! and to be clear this issue doesnt stop at age 18 or at moving out or anything like that either, there continue to be many obstacles for many people that make coming out unsafe, or just a bad life decision to uproot everything Right Now. it's okay to just be in the closet and it isn't a moral failing like cishet media wants to convince us. we all agree, right?

good! but here's what my actual real point is:

when we talk about this, for some reason, we seem to only reaaaallly be talking about the gay side of it, right? like im sure lots of people imagined, like, teenage gay boy movies. maybe a couple lesbian and bi characters too perhaps. and that makes sense because thats like the most common narrative for this sort of trope, so ofc those are the first examples we imagine. and ofc theres the more complex addition of "passing" when it comes to trans versions of this story, the idea that you gotta look a certain way to be "valid" adds another layer.

so i think its time more people started to acknowledge this about trans people too, right? i think we can all agree with this on paper already; no trans person is obligated to come out or present a certain way if theyre not in a place where they currently are able to do so. physically, mentally, financially... or just because they dont wanna! whatever the circumstances are, there is no criteria they have to meet to be vindicated in this. it doesnt only apply to 14 year olds living with shitty parents who plan to move out soon and become "Really Trans" (as if they didnt count before conforming to The Narrative), the person could be 40 and never planning to be completely out, and its the same. they dont owe you this "showing the world who you Really are in order to [earn the right to] Be Yourself" crap. thats their choice only.

however, i also think that even if most ppl on here in lgbt circles on here agree with the general sentiment... sometimes it doesnt always get applied it practice. though the whole "truscum" thing kinda died down (thank god) i still think that rampant transmedicalism has left its scars on lots of people and the things they internalize, combined with similar cisheteronormative messages in popular media about how your narrative Should go and how you Should act and look to be respected, and its Morally Wrong not to fit that mold.

so when encountered with people who dont pass, who dont TRY to pass and instead actively choose to look like their agab due to the fact that they are literally in the closet irl (lest we forget people have whole entire complex lives outside of the net) this sort of short circuit happens in ppls heads, where that internalized idea of "but you're supposed to be THIS WAY! youre not doing it RIGHT!" pops back up and they end up labeling that person as fake or Not Trans Enough for this reason.

and i do also think part of this stems from people not having enough sympathy for those whose paths are different, because they were told not to. theres a Right way, and they did it the right way. and likely they struggled for it a lot, so isnt it unfair that people are doing it the Easy Way (as if its easy to be closeted to begin with) and claiming theyre like you? thats Wrong. they have to Earn it. you lgbts should all get mad at EACH OTHER actually! this will help your community be better [in the eyes of cishetero society that doesnt really want you to exist to begin with]

additionally the reason im emphasizing the internet side of this so much is because... well, in this day and age, thats the space lots of people go to to NOT be in the closet. to at least microdose on being "out" while in real life they very much arent. like i said before, being in the closet is rough and taxing, suppressing yourself hurts which is why so many people wanna be loud and out and proud! not everyone can though, so turning to a place with relative anonymity to get that is great, and i think its probably saved a lot of people. but also because of this, its pretty much the only way to get the scenario this is positing to begin with- where you know a stranger can know that youre trans even if youre otherwise closeted completely, just so they can tell you that youre Not. but how many people in the past do you think lived lives where they never let these feelings out at all? how many alive today do you think dont even express them online?

you know that sort trope (often stereotypes in media) of a trans person "crossdressing" only when alone, in order to get a short bit of relief or euphoria that they cant in their closed life? i think that today we have the internet to do that. i think its kind of the same thing. but its also very different, because its not as private. its still secret, because its anonymous, but its also something shared with plenty of strangers at the same time. they dont know you irl, so its safe, distant, and gives you that rush of being yourself, and being referred to correctly by others too. theres community, theres support, and theres friendship too, once you get to know those strangers. its not a "second life" or a "persona" is just a side of yourself you dont show elsewhere, an identity that needs to be let out one way or another.

who the fuck are we to deny others the right to this life-saving connection just because they arent out? because they dont pass or dress the Right way irl? because we decided they arent trying hard enough to "fit in"? because they dont plan to change their lives to fit the right narrative anytime soon?

should they not be allowed into the community then? that would be perfect wouldnt it? leave many who need support out to die, because they did it Wrong. fight within our community over who is doing it Right until we've broken it in half. the righteous ones [according to cishet standards] are surely going to be treated with respect once they get rid of the Bad ones, right?

yeah, i dont think so. thats horseshit. we're stronger together than we are apart, thats why infighting is so useful to those who dont want us to be strong to begin with. its important to help each other, boost each other up, even if some of us arent playing the "right" part irl. are we really just going to sit around and accept the cishet norms as rules to live by? fuck that. not everyones story will reflect it, and you have to accept them anyway if you want a strong community. it doesnt matter how much they might look/act like their agab irl, if theyre telling you otherwise take it at face value, respect them the way you would any other. again, many of us agree with this on paper, but i think we still have to put work into acting on that too.

the end <3

[sugarwyns]

Why haven't you continued the builder drawing thing you were doing? I've been waiting for you to draw mine. 😑 It's kind of annoying, you only drew stuff for your friends...

damn ! LMAO

if ur referring to my sandrock rampage series, pls understand that i would pump out like 4-6 fully colored gifts of art at a time and that i started it when the community was a lil smaller ...

i have a forever growing list of ppl who i want to eventually get to and WIPs, i just havent had the time or energy to sit down and get another full round out recently 🥹 (and i also kind of only just started to draw consistently again anyways)

alsooo at the second part: when i started it i did not know anyone in the mtas community 😭 the rampage is how i ended up becoming friends with people since i just wanted to surprise ppl w art of their ocs + i dont announce who im drawing next u_u;

[vipervvitch]

Color Magic

What is color magic?

Color magic is utilizing the correspondences of a certain color in witchcraft/magic. It can help hone intentions in a spell, or establish the intent uniquely on its own. You can use it anywhere within a spell, especially to nudge it in the right direction.

What are ways I can use color magic in spells?

Commonly, you’ll see people use color magic in candle spells. People often recommend pink candles for beauty and love spells, because they associate pink with beauty and love, etc. What each color means, though, is up to the witch’s individual associations, alike every other correspondence. Since everything has a color, you can really use it anywhere. The color of the paper or ink of a petition, adding food coloring to a potion, using a colored rope for knot magic, literally anything. Even in the little things! The spoon you use to stir that potion, the body of the lighter you use to light the candle, the handles of the scissors you use to cut the rope, etc. Of course, as I’m about to say, you don’t NEED to pay attention to any of these things…

What if I have to use the “wrong color” in some part of a spell?

Say you’re doing a candle spell to attract new friends. You personally find a yellow candle ideal, because you associate yellow with happiness and friendship, but all you have is a green candle, which is a color you associate with money, and that’s not at all relevant to the spell. It’d also be best to probably ignore that correspondence with money, lest you attract friends who only care about spending your money or about the things you own, and not you personally. There are multiple solutions to this, some of them being:

1. You can ignore the color and focus on other aspects of the candle. You don’t need to account for every little thing in a spell, and if you don’t focus on the color of the candle and your correspondences regarding green, then it’ll have no effect.

2. You could overpower the color with other physical traits. Carving sigils and stuff into the wax might overpower the influence that the color has and give an alternative physical property of the candle to focus on that has a more relevant meaning.

3. You can consider other meanings of green and see how green COULD be relevant to your spell somehow. Green means go, right? You could say the green is allowing new friendships into your life that way. Nothing, imo, has a single use or correspondence.

4. But even so, if you only associate green with money, you could tie that in to your spell as well. You could attract friends who encourage you to have better spending habits, or have connections with people who could find you a better job.

5. You could look at the relationship that green has with other colors. Green, after all, is a mix of yellow and blue. You could therefore use it as a way to combine the correspondences of yellow and blue. If yellow means happiness, and blue means calmness, then green could bring you a friendship that’s both happy and calming. It’s also across from red on the color wheel. If red means angry, then being across from red could discourage fights in your friendship and make things easier.

These aren’t the only solutions, either. Witchcraft is largely about creativity. There’s an infinite amount of ways to approach spellcraft.

Subtle/easy ways to use color magic?

As a closeted and disabled witch, color magic is EXTREMELY helpful to me in my everyday life. I can start my day off with a little magic by deliberately choosing to wear a certain color in my outfit—even in places nobody else will see, like the color of my socks (which i like especially because I imagine them carrying me to that outcome that I want). If you paint your nails, put on makeup, or wear jewelry, that gives you many options for incorporating certain colors as well.

I buy things considering the color. I have a blue hairbrush because I want my hair to flow smoothly like water. I use a green mechanical pencil because I want to write down the correct answers.

If I can’t make an intricate potion, I can choose to drink coffee out of a yellow mug that morning to subtly enchant my drink to encourage a happy day.

Also, I have LED light strips in my room that I like to change to a specific color in order to paint my day and actions in my room with that magic as well. For example, when I’m studying, I like to turn my lights blue because I associate it with intelligence, memory, and calmness—and I don’t want to be any more stressed than I already am lol. I don’t do any chants or ritual work or anything special to “activate” or cast these “spells” aside from intentionally using these colors for those purposes, which makes it extra subtle. Nobody suspects that you chose to paint your nails pink because you’re using magic to attract more romance to your life. Nobody thinks anything about the fact that you chose to put on orange LED lights in your room because its the color you associate with your deity, and you want to include them some more. It’s super helpful, and extremely accessible.

[vhvrs]

i talk abt/ draw summer so little but she is like. my fav fav i love her sooo much n i love the specific niche she presents to the story that i rarely ever see in media but also rnm does a LOT of casual things u rarely see in long form media I LOVE HER!!!!!!!

[redux-sikfox]

Dunno how to start this post off, so I guess Happy Pride Month! And this post is just like... About me? No rhyme or reason or explanations. Just talking to myself really.

Guess I can start off saying I'm AFAB and have been attracted to men for most of my life. Started off in high school, not knowing why I was intimidating and not being the target of people's affection outside of friendship. To thinking relationships were a lot of hard work, but was still kinda sad not ever being included. Or not really having a connection with my friends because everyone was dating someone so I didn't have that core experience that people could talk about and share stories with.

Graduated and started working, and found that people actually found me attractive. School just wasn't a good space for that kind of thing for me because I was a quiet weeb who liked to ignore everyone and listen to music, and also had no sense in fashion. Now I'm testing out new fashion (as much as I can with a dress-code at work) and seeing what I like.

Then, slowly realizing that I was ace because a lot of the guys who were interested in me kinda just wanted to hook up, and I wasn't down with that. Which got me called 'she's secretly a man' by a lot of guys at work. Then I got confused about being Ace for awhile because I like to write smut a lot, though I tend to write mostly MLM. So then I worried if I was fetishizing gay men. So I toned it down a lot. Around this time, "Fetishizing" was huge and everyone was pointing fingers for dumb reasons, so I shoved that part of me down except for in certain groups where I felt like I was safe.

Two jobs later and I hear about people becoming trans more often. Never thought it would be me, though I've hated my body since I was 16. I just didn't connect the dots that there were people out there who hated their bodies/gender just like me who could do something about it. But surgeries scare me so I figured, I'm not trans. Trans are for people who can get those surgeries, and medication, and who look like the gender they want to be. But I still wasn't happy being me. So I figured I was agender or non-binary.

Nowadays, I know that that's not how it works. And you can still be trans without getting any of that stuff. And me being attracted to men? Turns out, I'm just attracted to masculine people. Men, women, in between. And that attraction made me want to be masc too. Found that out sometime last year into this one. I'm in my 30s now.

Straight logic says that I'm still a woman because my body hasn't changed and I'm still attracted to men. But pride logic states that I am whatever I wanna be; to be comfortable in my own skin, and I think I'd rather listen to that than be forced into a box. Labels can be confusing. So just be what you want to be. You don't have to prepare a speech. You don't have to justify anything. And things will change as you grow. You could be one thing one year, and something completely different in the next.

So in the end, I guess those guys at work were right. I am a man. And being attracted to other men/masculine people, I would have never dated any of those bumpkin fucks. And I still write my MLM smut. Though I am trying to branch out a bit. Not because I'm worried about what other people think anymore, but because I'm learning new things and testing what I like.

Still very ace right now. And that's okay. My writing lets me live through whatever I think I want without the commitment or ordeal of being with someone. But that may change in the future too. I won't know til it happens. There's literally no rush. I might go back to being non-binary one day, who's to say? No one knows. Not even me. I like being a safe space for people, and I've had thoughts about that. If I commit to being a guy, will that scare certain people away that would have felt more comfortable with me if I was a woman or neutral?

I have a lot of thoughts about these types of things. But I think it's important to prioritize yourself first before others. Because if they don't think I'm good enough, they can always find others that meet that criteria. I think I'm good enough, and I have a lot of friends who think the same. I'm like a special interest only few people have, ya know? And I think a lot of people fall under that. You won't be palatable for everyone, and that's okay.

[gramarye]

it kinda sucks that even in like. Mental Health Positive spaces you cannot really talk or show or depict or discuss self harm scars or talk about it in a past sense like. there is always an assumption you are Edgy or romanticizing it or endorsing it or something else when it's like. man. its just a fact of life for some people. that is just how some people's bodies look.

like ive seen people roll their eyes at and talk rudely about others drawing characters with self harm scars or writing about it and its like man. real people have bodies with scars from self harm sometimes. im sorry it offends you but Some People Look Like That And They Cannot Change It. my body looks like that and its clear after over a decade that its never going away and im not really ashamed of it its just a neutral thing to me. its a part of my body its how i look and its me. but depicting that is somehow Wrong and people will make all sorts of honestly very rude assumptions about you!

nd god forbid you post a picture of yourself like a completely normal photo where your arms with old scars are visible because that is how your body looks. its insane how even in spaces where its widely accepted that you shouldn't police people's bodies and its insane to ask people to Trigger Warning their bodies otherwise, its still somehow reasonable to do that to people with self harm scars. girl that is peoples bodies! im sorry it makes you uncomfortable but that has to be a You Problem. all of this is just like. another form of judging people's mental health and bodies audibly but because its under the guise of Well This Is Uncomfortable >_< its okay i guess. man.

[piplupod]

life is actually so easily wonderful if the abusers are not around. heaven on earth. i can breathe for a few days <3 i've already gotten so much done and its only been 24 hours. i have 48 more hours of this relief to savour.

[purpleandstarlight]

Rereading an early DLTD chapter and getting hit with a nostalgic feeling over how (mostly) easy things were for the characters back then...

[mariocki]

Evil Dead (2013)

"I will feast on your soul."

"Feast on this, motherfucker!"

[volfoss]

the best thing for me actually is im getting around to reading the comics that retell from iwtv -> body thief and theyre actually pretty good so far? they cut down on a lot of her narration and often excessive narration which makes the plot fly by lmao. the worst thing however is the art is... well definitely something. at times it works and at times you get this panel of louis thats been making me laugh so hard for like 10 minutes

[batz]

autism become real

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

.

okay yeah my parents want me to die. chill yeah. i'm cool w/ that.

[milkbreadtoast]

I WATCHED NIMONA!!! As someone who read the original nimona webcomic when it was updating (roughly a decade ago??) and was rly impacted by it, I was so excited to watch the film and... they did a really good job!!! it was so beautiful i cried omg... it's def worth a watch!! (long ramble under the cut BWAHA spoiler warning)

...and it was rly completely diff from the original comic but im not complaining?? like its a v loose movie adaptation and the plot/setup was v diff but still v well done... like the comic and movie r both good in their own right... & i laughed and cried a lot... i was surprised at the extent of some of the changes but the emotional parts hit hard(my eyes r swollen from crying) and it was written v well... and visually it's just gorgeous... my jaw kept dropping at the beautiful lighting, and they brought the futuristic medieval setting to life so well i could cry😭

it's funny bc one of the main things i was afraid of was them changing nimona's backstory from the comic, bc even after a decade that's one of the things that stuck w me the most... i love nimona as a chara sm... I was so worried abt them changing it and... they ended up changing it completely... but it was actually really good?! like i cried so hard, it was well done... so I'm glad I didn't have to worry after all jdjfjd🥺 like they Did change it but both ver r good in their own right...

I understand that they had to rewrite the plot completely to fit within the time length of a single movie while still being a contained story, as is always the case w movie adaptations of books, graphic novels, etc which r much longer... Series have a chance to follow the source more closely but that just isnt the case w movies... and as far as movie adaptations go they did an amazing job!! I can rly appreciate both the comic and the movie as their own thing... and I rly liked some parts that were added to the movie, like ballister(blackheart)'s backstory in the beginning, and the addition of gloreth (and her relationship w nimona) was surprisingly compelling... And I really really love that they made Ballister and Goldenloin canon POC 😭😭😭 like that made me so happy!!!❤️‍🔥 When i first saw the casting of riz ahmed and eugene lee i was sooo happy, i was like YAYY IDC IF THEY LOOK WHITE IM GONNA HC THEM AS POC🥰 but the fact that i dont even have to hc bc its canon now... 🥹 SOUTH ASIAN/EAST ASIAN KINGS🛐... and they also didn't hold back with showing them openly as a gay couple... Even tho their dynamic changed a lot from the comic I rly appreciate that...

And there were things that I did miss from the webcomic, like the original setup with goldenloin and blackheart as staged nemesis, them being exes (and some time having passed since their graduation, so they're older, unlike in the movie when it just happened), etc. but the whole setup and plot and everything I completely understand why they had to change it to make it work/fit as a movie, so I get it... so not complaining there tbh bc they did what they had to do... But tbh... TBH... my one(1) complaint(/lh) w the movie... IS I REALLY MISS GOLDENLOIN'S BEAUTIFUL LONG HAIR😭😭😭💔 He would've looked so pretty with long golden locks in the movie artstyle, esp w the gorgeous lighting... glowing gold and flowing in the wind... And I think it would've fit perfectly well with the movie ver of his chara/lore too?? like the new lore of him being a descendant of Gloreth... I could imagine him growing out his hair and bleaching it blonde to fit the image/pressure of being a descendant of gloreth, and to look more flashy and heroic to the public (They did tone down his vanity a lot but im sure he still retains some of it... like he still has that pretty popular celebrity image)... And him having long hair doesnt contradict with him being asian too or the modern setting... modern asian men can and do have pretty long hair😭 Like he couldve still been Asian, just w long blonde hair... It doesn't contradict w his new personality either... And I wish they kept the golden color bc the white/silver makes him look less like a "goldenloin"... (i also love black/gold color combos personally lol)... And i just aldjskd can u imagine movie Ballister stroking Ambrosious's long hair affectionately... pls🥲 WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALL... canon asian madeleine cookie qkjdksdj... I also do miss his original stupid vain arrogant himbo personality from the comic, but I understand why they changed it (for one, charas like that might start out obnoxious but then slowly develop and gain depth over the course of the story, but in a movie's short length, there's less time to slowly grow on ppl so it'd be easier to make them more likeable from the start... so like i get it.) but I think it would've been perfect if they just kept his long hair even w his new personality😭😭 LIKE IT WOULDVE BEEN 100000% PERFECT THEN!!! So that's literally my one lighthearted complaint/dissatisfaction w the movie LMFAO... I'd be happy if ppl draw fanart of movie ambrosious w long hair... TTwTT i miss it sm DKDJZ /end rant OVERALL I HAD A GOOD time ^^ LMFAO

[steelycunt]

i miss reading so much ugh. big essay is killing me