#the writing and characters matured a lot with time - as it is a fanfic written troughtout 10 yrs.
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purpleandstarlight · 3 months ago
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Rereading an early DLTD chapter and getting hit with a nostalgic feeling over how (mostly) easy things were for the characters back then...
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tobes-zzz · 5 months ago
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I think I’ve officially outgrown tumblr fanfics, it’s hard to find decent new stuff that isn’t just another smau full of poorly written characters that are nothing like their original personalities. For fandoms like Jujutsu Kaisen all the men are written like Toji=mean+horny, Sukuna=mean+less horny, Gojo=teasing+horny with little to any more depth. Or like Tokyo Revengers where most of the guys are given the same personality depending on if they’re categorized as confident or quiet. Then they make all dom-leaning characters talk with a forced accent that they definitely do not have, sometimes it’s a blaccent other times it’s a lot of “gi’me” instead of give me or “ya” instead of you. Its gotten to a point where they straight up just won’t say full words and I cannot describe the visceral ick it gives me lol. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been able to find good stuff on here before and I don’t doubt that there are good writers in these fandoms, it’s just getting harder to come by. I stopped using Wattpad for similar poor writing and it’s sad to see it happening here now.
Edit: I don’t plan on replying to the ppl reblogging this bc most of them are not approaching the conversation with the same level of maturity as I have.
If you think that having a blank blog means that you’re not able to give criticism as a reader then you’re just wrong idk what to tell you. That’s the reality that comes with writing and posting your work, that by no means justifies stuff like harassment or bullying, but that’s clearly not what I’ve done. Sorry if you took my opinions personally bc you have a 👀certain👀 taste in fanfic and smut tho lol
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lurkingshan · 7 months ago
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Hii, hope you're doing well!! I've been meaning to check out more c-dramas. I've never really watched any, but I keep seeing them on my dash and want to start giving some a shot since I watch every other type of drama (BL or otherwise lol). I saw you post often about c-dramas, so I wanted to ask if you had any other recs besides Tender Light (which I'm planning on watching when it's done)? I'm more curious about c-dramas in general rather than any specific genre, since I'm so new to them
Hello, thank you for the ask! I'm glad my obsessive Tender Light posting has got you curious about cdramas. Some of my all time favorite dramas are from Mainland China, and I would be happy to share some recs! Since you are looking for a general sense, I am just going to give you a sampling of some of my personal favs.
Tender Light
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Obviously I will be taking this opportunity to talk up this drama some more, which will be ending its run this weekend. This is, hands down, my favorite drama of the year and easily going on my top 10 dramas of all time list. It's one of the most gorgeous and precise and unflinching pieces of media I have ever seen. This is definitely one for people who love smart mystery writing, dark themes (I mean this for real, if you have a lot of triggers ask for CWs), and explorations of the human condition. It will be staying with me for a long time.
Go Ahead
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Another of my all time favs (and with cast crossover from Tender Light), this is a family drama that digs deep on the meaning of family, finding your people, and resilience through intergenerational trauma. I love it so so much (I am actually rewatching it right now).
Lighter & Princess
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A fantastic romance and owner of a coveted spot on the ride or die drama couples list. In this story you get to watch these two fall in love twice, first in college and then as adults, and both times it's epic.
Reset
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How about a time loop thriller? This is one of the best I have ever seen, and its relatively short run keeps it tight and tense all the way through. There's a romance in this one, too, but kissing is definitely secondary to finding their way out of this death trap.
The Rebel Princess
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Let's dip our toe into historicals! Granted, I still have plenty of gaps in my historical cdrama watch list (there are just so many and they're so long, I am doing my best people!) but this remains my all time favorite to date. It's epic, it's shockingly well written and paced for its length, the characters are excellent and compelling all around, and it has one of my all time favorite male leads and drama couples (another from the ride or die list!). Don't let the episode number intimidate you, it will fly by much faster than you think.
The Untamed
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You watch bl so I am assuming you already know about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, but just in case I will also include this drama as a much watch. It's likely the best live action danmei we will ever get.
Love Between Fairy and Devil
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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if a show put all your favorite fanfic tropes in a blender, cast beautiful people to act them out, and put them in lavish costumes? Well, here is your answer.
Love and Redemption
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This one's for us angst with a happy ending girlies. An epic love story with lots of pining and struggle and strife, and it's so worth it.
Falling Into You
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Back to the modern era, this is a classic sports drama with a noona romance. Very unassuming but full of charm and very well executed.
Fake It Till You Make It
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An unusually mature take on adult romance from a cdrama, this one is about two career focused permasingle love skeptics who meet, realize they actually like each other, and try to figure out what the hell to do with that. I love it a lot.
That should be enough to get you started! There are many many more recs to be had, so once you give some of these a try and figure out what you like, feel free to hit me up for more!
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narutocharacterpolls · 1 year ago
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Sasuke is an amazing character whose biggest "crime" is being better written for a seinen and not the shonen he was forced into.
It's ultimately Kishi's fault for toying with themes like genocide, state-sponsored ethnic discrimination, and intergenerational trauma without the proper skillset/genre to do those themes (and subsequently characters like Sasuke whose entire being is built on those traumas) any satisfying justice.
In a manga created to highlight the virtues of forgiveness and friendship, how is a character like Sasuke (whose entire family and ethnic group was systemically oppressed for generations and then slaughtered by the state) supposed to exist in a way that satisfies the marginalized readers who identify with the incredibly real themes of his story? Turn the other cheek and forgive those who committed genocide and faced no punishment? Be content with systemic conformity when that system has shown nothing but deadly flaws?
Sasuke is ultimately a survivor and even his creator recognizes how very real his responses are to the enormity of injustice he and his family have faced. It's just a shame that very real emotion and those very real injustices are inadequately told in the restrictive setting of a shonen.
Idk, at this point if you know, you know lol. If you don't, then just say you don't understand his character or don't want to bother reading the manga with a crticial lens and move on. Not sure what else to tell some of you at this point. It's been years... begging some of you to pick up the actual manga (not a fanfic or the anime) and read the material with more mature eyes.
I love you, anon. I hope you have the best of days and that kindness comes your way with ease. Absolutely perfectly stated, I don’t really want to add anything to this. You’ve said what the lot of us Sasuke lovers were thinking, I thank you so genuinely for putting the time into writing this.
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forestdeath1 · 8 months ago
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Sirius’s early maturity as a result of family views and traditions. Romantic and sexual behaviour
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First of all, I'd like to leave a link to this meta by @artemisia-black so I don't have to write the same things that are already covered. The part about boundaries is especially important.
Next, I'll add my perspective.
1. Most likely, Sirius couldn't be a playboy or casanova due to the social organisation of their society + his personal attitude towards boundaries of other people, including women, as described in the post above.
2. However, that doesn't say much about his sexuality and romantic behavior.
More likely JKR wanted to make him straight and prone to non-committed relationships, but canon itself says nothing about his sexuality and I think everyone can read him as they want. Honestly, I personally don't care who Sirius is sleeping with/not sleeping with in people’s HCs. I care about his personality, and his sexuality doesn't change anything about his canon characterisation, so I don't particularly see the point in arguing about his sexuality (straight/gay/bi/ace/whatever) with foam at the mouth. (And he is not queer coded.)
But there is some interesting things that I’d like to discuss.
1. First of all, why the playboy/casanova version seems the most untenable to me, besides what was written in the post above?
A bit about the school and society:
In my opinion, for the WW, it's quite illogical for a student to have a large number of sexual partners. Firstly, with whom? In some fanfics, Sirius finds a new partner almost every week and fucks someone every night. Where does he find so much time for casual sex at school/during the war and where do so many people wanting casual sex come from? No matter how handsome Sirius might be, not all girls and boys are willing to have casual sex. Most people want relationships, not casual sex.
So in my view, if in your headcanon Sirius never got out into the Muggle world of the 1970s, then he couldn't have had a large number of casual sexual partners at least in school, although the playboy reputation could have been there. To have that reputation, you don't need to do anything, just being charismatic and attractive. Reputation often precedes the person. Maybe that's why Remus said 'he always got the women'. They just paid attention to him. But if we consider the WW, especially the school, there's simply nowhere to get 'many partners' from.
2. Ignoring a girl as evidence of a certain sexuality.
The fact that Sirius ignored girls' glances at him doesn't say anything concrete. But it's often cited as an argument in favour of his homosexuality and/or asexuality.
But in reality, it can be interpreted in any way. As asexuality/homosexuality or simply as a demonstration that he really was attractive to many people, but Sirius himself, accustomed to such attention, no longer paid attention to the constant attention to him. When a person knows his attractiveness from his youth, he will not pay attention to every flirtation or every person who looks at him with lust. Often such attention can even be annoying.
Also, this character was probably well aware of his attractiveness and could see it in other people. The comments about Snape are very vivid. If appearance is not at all part of a person's values and they doesn’t pay attention to appearance, then a person is unlikely to insult someone based on their appearance - it’s usually a blind-spot. But attractive appearance, given by nature, are often seen as something that can't be taken away, it's always with you, and so the attitude is simple — if you can't wash your hair, fine, it's not that important. And knowing about his attractiveness and constantly receiving a lot of attention from other people – the value of this attention diminishes. A person just no longer pays attention to it.
That’s why he might have simply ignored the girl who was looking at him with interest (who had been studying with him and probably had been looking at him with interest for more than a day).
3. The age of consent. Early maturity. TW Underage.
The age of consent in the Muggle UK is 16 years old. And in the WW, people become adults earlier, at 17. However, Pollux became a father at 13. Cygnus became a father at 13. What was the age of consent? When did they get married? Was there even a concept of age of consent in the wizarding world? Perhaps their age of consent was 12 (given that in 1275, the first age of consent was set in England, at age 12 and only in 1875, the Offences Against the Person Act raised the age to 13 in Great Britain and Ireland, and the International Statute of Secrecy was signed in 1689, it's possible that wizards are still stuck with laws from that time). Or maybe Pollux and Cygnus got married later. For example, at 15 (17-2). Or maybe they have no concept of age of consent at all and there is no prohibition on marriage before reaching legal age, so they could get married whenever they wanted. Considering that marriages are magically contracted without the involvement of authorities, this option seems viable.
I'm not here to judge fictional characters, I'm discussing facts from the canon. There is every reason to believe that for some families in the WW, "maturity" came much earlier than it does for us now, and it wasn't nonsense. Rather, it was casual liaisons that were condemned as something that could cause unwanted pregnancies. But not marriage and sex itself before the age of 17.
Even in our time and in our society "an estimated 55% of teens have had sexual intercourse by age 18". These percentages have gradually declined since 1988 when 51 per cent of female and 60 per cent of male teens have ever had sex".
Your right to consider this something bad and refuse to write/speak about it, but it was, is, and always will be a part of teenage life, and judging by the Blacks, in the WW, the attitude towards this was quite... "old-fashioned", if it concerned marriage and childbearing.
I am inclined to believe that it was the Blacks who had this attitude towards early marriage and early childbirth, and therefore towards early sex, BUT not casual sex, because nobody wanted unwanted pregnancy.
And this could have influenced Sirius's attitude towards himself, his sexuality, and how mature he considered himself. Sorry, but when your grandfather became a father at 13, as did your uncle... well, you definitely look at growing up a little differently. He put up Muggle posters too because his parents were annoyed not by the fact that he was a 14-15 year old thinking about sex (although he might not have thought about it at all, he just knew it would piss his mum off), but by the fact that he was thinking about sex with mudbloods, which horrified his parents.
Just imagine what must be going through the mind of a 14-15 year old who decided to piss his parents off. What would James do? Well, paint the room red. Put dung bombs on the head of everyone who walked in. What did Sirius do? Erotic posters (women in swimming costumes are erotic posters to their world).
In my opinion, this says a lot about all the Blacks and the fact that they have some peculiarities in their family dynamics. Where did he even get the idea for this, if Sirius and the Blacks were innocent in their attitude towards teenage sex and growing up? I can totally see them yelling at him after these posters 'if you get someone pregnant, you'll really regret it!'.
The posters themselves don't say anything about Sirius's real intentions or his sexuality – he could have just put them up to piss her mother off, knowing that it would annoy her, or he himself might have liked them.
Meanwhile, James and his parents probably had a different dynamic, and they probably treated James as a child for much longer. So James matured sexually in his mind later. His parents probably didn't even talk about such things. And considering that they went to a conservative school, then further than kissing for him at 15 was probably not even a topic, if they even got to kissing.
Most likely, Sirius's 'early maturity' and all these posters are exactly the result of intra-family traditions and views.
4. It's confirmed by Word of God that he didn't have a girlfriend, but…
If we consider only the books as canon, then we don't know anything about his girlfriend/boyfriend, and he could have had some romantic relationships, because the canon itself doesn't say anything about it.
But I'll specifically analyze the case with 'Word of God':
Well, Sirius never had time to get a girlfriend, let alone marry.
Sirius was too busy being a big rebel to get married.
This means only one thing: he didn't give any commitments. That's it. It doesn't mean anything more than that. He could have had no partners at all, meaning he could have been focused only on friendship. Or he could have had a sexual partner (of any gender) without commitments. One or more. Who mutually wanted this. And these relationships didn't take up much of his time.
Non-committal relationships can be with sufficient respect for the partner. This doesn't make the character a Casanova/Playboy/fuckboy.
In the monoromantic concept of serious relationships, respect for the partner is often perceived only within the context of monoromantic relationships. But that’s not the only option. In non-committal relationships, there can also be a lot of respect for the other person's boundaries because the person isn't lying about their attitude (unwillingness to have a serious relationship), does not pile on false promises and usually does not confess eternal love. But playboys and casanovas can often lie to get someone into bed.
The view on purity and filth is very interesting, but in my opinion, purity for the Blacks is conceptually not the same purity as for the upper class in the Muggle world raised in a Christian reverent tradition. Purity is primarily 'noble blood.' To be pure is to be noble, and Sirius has his own understanding of nobility, not based on blood purity. For him, honor and nobility mean being loyal to friends, being honest, not betraying, and that's why he uses epithets of impurity for Peter. Peter lacks nobility.
As I said, having one/several partners without commitments doesn't automatically make the character a playboy and casanova – in other words, it's not about the Erot of perverted Aphrodite – people who love only the body, not the inner world (seeing people as objects, ignoring the person as a whole).
So, taking into account the Word of God, I actually see only two options.
He didn't have sexual relationships at all/tried it and didn't like it/ wasn't interested/ found it not very interesting or just was more focused on his friends and other things in his life.
Or the second option – he had non-committal relationships, which were always based on respect for the partner, but it was never like 'my girlfriend/boyfriend,' more like sexually-friendly relationships where he treated his partner not just as an object for sex but as a person.
The third option, if we discard the Word of God – he could have had regular monogamous romantic relationships of any nature with any gender, as there's nothing in the canon about his sexuality.
As I said, I don't think it fundamentally changes anything about his characterisation, so no matter what his sexuality is, he should retain his canon personality traits.
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pebblume · 10 months ago
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I never realized how liberating writing fanfiction would be. I hadn’t written creatively in years. It’s been so long that I kind of forgot what it felt like. The childlike rush of pouring your heart out onto a blank page, not caring about the results as long as you were having fun. I’ve tried writing fanfic a couple of times, for different fandoms across the years, but never finished anything I was really happy with, nothing that I felt comfortable sharing with the world. But something just clicked for me this past week. I realized how much fun it was to stretch out my writing muscles, to get inside the heads of my favorite characters. I realized that it didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of being shared and loved by others. I realized that I had so many stories inside myself - more than I thought possible. 
But perhaps what I’m most in awe of is fanfic readers. The people who read my work and leave kudos and bookmarks and comments - one word comments, sweet comments, silly comments, paragraph-long comments. I love them all. I used to be afraid of leaving comments on AO3, afraid I wouldn’t have enough words, wouldn’t have the right words, to depict how I felt. But when I felt firsthand how much those comments meant to me I started leaving more and more of them, spreading a digital paper trail of love to all my favorite authors. More and more often I recognize the profile names and images in my comment section and think, Hey, I know you! Now I’m not just a guest on AO3, or a passive reader. I belong here. 
I won’t lie and say I don’t miss drawing a bit, my previous creative outlet. There are plenty of drawings inside me too, itching to be realized. I really just don’t have the time for two time extensive hobbies, not when I need to balance school and practicing and little things like sleeping and eating and relaxing. I miss it, but not as much as I thought I would. There’s a level of investment to sharing a story online that feels…special. When I post my art, I get engagement, and it feels nice, but ultimately, most people are only spending about ten seconds looking at the work I spent eight hours on, if that. When someone reads my fics, we’ve now spent time together. You’ve lived inside my head for a bit, made it your home. It’s about feeling seen, I think. Writing makes me feel understood in a way visual art sometimes doesn’t. It makes me feel vulnerable in the same way performing music does, but less exposed too. It’s interesting to me. 
The only downside, if you can call it that, is now that the writing bug has infected me, I’m finding it harder and harder to stop. I’ll have an idea and then suddenly five hours have flown by because I’m on a creative streak and I just want to write one more idea down, which turns into two, and so on and so forth. I dread stopping, because what if I forget something? What if I get into a writing block later? Suddenly I have people who want to read the things I write and I want to provide it, I really do, but I also have responsibilities. I say, as I write this, ignoring my audition tomorrow afternoon. 
I still have a bit of embarrassment attached to fandom works. When I tell acquaintances that I like to draw or write, I rarely tell them I mean fanart and fanfiction. As if loving something that deeply, that sincerely, is inherently shameful in this age of irony and soulless remakes. Especially when my interests usually consist of media marketed towards children, nevermind the fact that it has more emotional maturity than most ‘adult’ works. But I’m trying to get better about it. A lot of my closest friends know about my hobbies, and some I’ve even let see my work. It’s terrifying but also giddying, seeing them like an art post or comment on a fic. After all, to reap the rewards of being loved, one must submit themselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known, or something like that. 
I realized today that I’ve written over 30,000 words in the past two weeks about about two characters who don’t belong to me, but whom I’ve made my own.
And I’ve never felt happier
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skzhocomments · 1 month ago
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A Chance of Fate - Lee Know Stray Kids Fanfic (Masterlist)
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Pairing: Minho (of Stray Kids) x OC (name: Dal-Rae)
Genre: non-idol AU, angst, romance, fluff, mature
Word Count: ~33k
Warnings: mature, swearing, feelings of hopelessness, angst, depression, crying, mentions of domestic violence, depression, anxiety, angst, low self-esteem etc.
This is just a story that doesn’t describe Stray Kids members' true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.
This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)
A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!
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Summary:
$7, a small suitcase, a thin coat and some old, worn-out shoes that took you nowhere in particular were the only belongings you grabbed when you decided on a whim to leave your abusive ex during a cold winter night. With the merciless wind blowing right in your face, you weren't sure where to go, or what to do. The only thing you were sure of was that you could never return back home, not when you've thrown away your keys to ensure you'd stay strong. Tired and hungry, you stumbled by a chance of fate upon a small restaurant called 'Know Your Cats', and you decided to walk in.
Non-idol AU Lee Know (Stray Kids) Fanfic Mature content ahead. 18+ ©storminsidemycore
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Hello!
Storm here!
A Chance of Fate is a story I've started writing on 27/10/2022 (yes, two freaking years ago!!!) that 'collected dust on the shelves' until yesterday when I finally managed to finish it.
It has around 33k words divided in 10 chapters, and I'm very excited to post it, since it's a story I actually enjoy and I've been working on for quite some time as you can see, hahah.
Surprisingly, no smut whatsoever in this story, however, like each and every one of my works, it includes lots of mature themes, so it's 18+ either way.
Main character's name is Dal-Rae, story is however written in 2nd person, so you can expect most phrases to refer to "You".
I hope you'll enjoy this story and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. ♡
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The story and cover are original and my property. Any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental. Jieun, the protagonist, is a made-up character.
Stray Kids members or any other famous people mentioned along this story DO NOT represent their true character in any way, they are simply mentioned in order to provide a visual representation for the readers. Their personas obviously have nothing to do with their true personalities. They're just characters I've created for this story, so please don't take this too seriously.
Mature content ahead. Lots of trigger warnings apply, so please read carefully.
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18+
©storminsidemycore
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Chapter 1 - Know Your Cats - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 2 - We'll replace the broken plates - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 3 - Olivia's Store - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 4 - Blooming Feelings - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 5 - The Gathering - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 6 - Grandma's house - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 7 - Stay - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 8 - An Unwelcome Encounter - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 9 - Pain and Fear - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
Chapter 10 - A Little Family (Final Chapter) - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3
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Thank you so much for reading my story, and I'm looking forward to seeing your thoughts!
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coolstoriesbro · 2 years ago
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FOR THE ONES WE LOVE | CH. 1
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FANDOM: The Walking Dead
SERIES: For the Ones We Love
STATUS: Ongoing
ERA: Prison
PAIRING: Eventual Daryl Dixon x Female Reader (No Use of “Y/N”)
CHAPTER ONE: Backseat Driver
WORD COUNT: 2k
SUMMARY: Daryl Dixon gets much more than he bargained for when his motorcycle breaks down while out on a run. Miles from the prison, he has no other choice but to hot-wire a car he comes across on the side of the road, only to discover that he wasn’t the first person to get there.
RATING: Mature
WARNINGS: Language, Mention of Attempted Sexual Assault, Symptoms of PTSD
A/N: While I’m not new to writing fanfic, this is my first attempt at Tumblr fanfic, which is somewhat different than what I’m used to. I have a whole backstory dreamed up for this character (she’s a nursing student who escaped from Grady Memorial after it was overtaken by Dawn and Gorman), but I know from what I’ve read of Tumblr fanfic, self-insert fics are preferred. This is my first attempt at that, so any constructive criticism is welcome. Please let me know your thoughts on the story as well. I have several chapters already written, just trying to decide what format to proceed with/if there’s an audience for it.
“Wow, thanks for that.”
At the sound of an unfamiliar voice coming from behind him, Daryl Dixon’s eyes flew to the rearview mirror as you sat up from where you’d been lying in the backseat of the car he’d just hot-wired. The all too familiar noise of a hammer clicking into place sounded as you lifted your arms, aiming a revolver directly at the back of his head.
With the way you trained the gun on him, combined with the intense gaze in your eyes, he knew that you’d shot it before.
Of course you had.
A woman, alone in this world?
There was no way in hell you could’ve survived as long as you had not knowing how to use a gun.
Daryl cut the engine and raised his hands. “This your car?”
You shrugged. “No, but I was here first.”
“I got it runnin’; makes it more mine than yours.”
“I was getting to that.” You said defensively.
“Bullshit.” Daryl scoffed. “Ya don’t know how to hot-wire a car.”
“How do you know?”
“‘Cause ya ain’t that kinda girl.”
The stranger’s assumption pissed you off, but what pissed you off even more was the fact that he was right. Before he came along, you’d been close to having a full-on meltdown when finding the car just a few minutes earlier, only to discover that the keys were missing from the ignition. There’d been a hell of a lot of abandoned cars that you’d passed during your travels over the past couple of weeks, because apparently even after a goddamn apocalypse, nobody left their keys behind.
And who was he to pass judgement on you? With his Harley Davidson vest, greasy hair and the ability to steal a car in the first place — this guy was lucky you’d given him any warning at all. Although you hadn’t spoken to another human being since escaping the hospital, and were beginning to think you were missing even the most trivial of conversations, you had quickly come to the conclusion that human interaction was entirely overrated.
Especially with this particular human.
“How the hell do you know what kind of girl I am?” You practically growled.
Daryl hesitated, knowing that he ought to tread lightly, yet somehow his mouth decided to run off anyway. “Just do.”
Your eyes widened as you lunged forward to press the barrel of the gun to the back of his skull. “You don’t fucking know me.”
Dumbass, Daryl scolded himself.
What was he thinking, arguing with someone who was pressing a loaded gun to his head? After all this time spent fighting to survive, did he have a death wish all of a sudden?
With his hands still raised, Daryl nodded, his senses finally returning to him. “We can change that. I’m Daryl.”
Suddenly, a memory of your mother warning you not to talk to strangers appeared as the man introduced himself, and you had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. After a few seconds, you lowered your gun and laughed out loud, no longer able to keep it inside.
The entire situation was absurd. You were running on zero sleep, hadn’t eaten anything in days, and hadn’t spoken to another soul since you’d left Atlanta. It was the most inappropriate thing in the world to be laughing in your current situation, and yet you couldn’t stop.
Daryl hesitated. He thought he might be okay at handling a pissed off woman — but a crazy, pissed off woman?
Might as well shoot myself now.
“Ya crazy or somethin’?” Daryl found himself asking.
You laughed harder at his question, leaning against the backseat as your sides started to ache. “Or something.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Ya gotta name or not?”
Once regaining your composure, you peered over the passenger seat and noticed the large crossbow that he’d laid down while working on getting the car started. You also noted the backpack slung over his shoulder with several arrows sticking out through the flap. “Give me your arrows and any other weapons you have. Maybe I’ll tell you then.”
“Don’t wanna know that bad.”
“Hah.” You rolled your eyes, aiming the revolver at his head once more. “Wasn’t asking.”
With an irritated grumble, Daryl shrugged off his bag and handed it over. There was a brief pause while he rummaged around in his pants and pulled out a pistol, extending it to you handle first.
“No knife?” You asked suspiciously. 
He cursed under his breath, but a few seconds later you had a hunting knife to add to your collection as well. Finally satisfied, you met his eyes in the rearview mirror and told him your name.
“You alone?”
“Looks like it.”
The silence between the two of you clung in the air like smoke. Daryl kept his eyes glued to you now that you had all of his weapons, minus his crossbow, which was useless without the bolts. 
He didn’t pride himself on much, but one of the few things that he’d always felt he excelled at was being a good judge of character. The woman in front of him was young, probably mid-twenties, and pretty. In Daryl’s experience, pretty women were absolute bitches, but not necessarily dangerous. Even so, he couldn’t brand you with that particular title just for pulling a gun on him. You were only protecting yourself.
“Mind lowerin’ that thing? I did give ya all my weapons.” Daryl reasoned.
You paused, but reluctantly lowered your gun, your eyes locked on his as you sat it down on your lap.
“How’s that?” You asked.
“Depends, can I turn around without havin’ to worry ‘bout ya blowin’ my head off?”
You stilled at his words but found yourself slowly nodding your head in agreement.
When Daryl turned all the way around to face you, you held your breath. The last time you’d been this close to a man, it was Gorman, and he had tried to assault you.
The world had been a dangerous place for women far longer than it had been for men. Men may have recently had to learn what it was like to fear strangers now that the world had ended, but it had aways been something to fear for women, which made it twice as frightening these days.
As you studied Daryl, you noticed that he had lighter facial hair than that on his head, and pale blue eyes. With his intense gaze and bare biceps, he had a rugged air about him that you had a feeling he’d always possessed. He seemed like the kind of man who didn’t need an apocalypse to know how to fight for his life.
The two of you remained as you were, staring at each other for a tense moment, sizing each other up and down as you both tried to decide whether or not the other was a threat.
“Lay down.” Daryl grunted.
“What?” You blanched, your hand moving towards the revolver once more.
“Down!” He hissed.
Jumping over the partition dividing the front and back sections of the car, Daryl slid to his knees, tucking himself in the floor space behind the passenger seat, his hands clutching you by the elbows as he pulled you down, tugging your body flush against the backseat cushions.
When Daryl grabbed you, your first thought was a vile one, but your grip around the gun relaxed ever so slightly when he landed beneath you rather than on top of you.
“What the fu—” You cried as you both lurched forward, a series of bangs sounding at the rear of the car. Rather than finish your crude sentence, you cut yourself off when Daryl’s hand covered your mouth. Feeling your jaw tense against his palm, he raised a finger to his lips when his eyes met yours, slowly easing his hand away as a horde of walkers appeared from a clearing in the woods by the side of the road.
You both remained that way for what truly could have been hours, the only sound being your heavy breathing and the groans of the horde as they trudged along either side of the car like cattle. When the noise finally died down some time later, Daryl held a hand out to signal for you to wait, then eased up on his haunches ever so slightly, peering out the front windshield to find that the horde had wandered off up the road.
Once given the all clear, you slowly lifted your body from the backseat, your hand instantly going to the side of your neck as you attempted to work out the kink that had formed there from laying in such an awkward position. 
“Jesus.” You muttered.
Remaining where he was for fear that you’d think he might try something now that he was in close proximity of his weapons, Daryl kept his eyes on you for a few silent seconds.
“Look, I know all about wantin’ to be alone, but no one can make it alone now. You can keep my weapons, even hold your damn gun on me while I drive, but I have a camp a few miles back. My bike broke down, s’why I was lookin’ for a ride, but I can take ya someplace secure. I’m with a group of people back at a prison.”
“A prison? Really?” You asked curiously.
Christ. Was that actual hope in your voice? Had the last year not completely crushed you of that?
“Yeah.” Daryl nodded. “There’s eight of us. Men, women, a boy, and a baby.” Nodding towards his backpack, he continued. “Open it.”
Cautiously moving your hand to his backpack, you unsnapped the top and drew back the flap to reveal several tins of powdered baby formula. Running your fingers over the lids, you hesitated, your eyes slowly returning to Daryl. If this was some kind of trick to get you to come along, it was pretty elaborate.
“I just gotta ask ya three questions first.” He said.
With your curiosity getting the better of you, you shrugged your shoulders. “Go for it.”
“How many walkers ya killed?”
“Walkers? You mean, the living dead freaks that have taken over the world?”
Daryl nodded.
“I don’t know. Who keeps track of that shit?”
Daryl had to admit, at least to himself, you had a point. But it was one of the questions that Rick insisted on asking newcomers, and he wasn’t about to start breaking his rules for anyone.
Seeing that Daryl wasn’t willing to budge on the question, you sighed as you thought about it. “A dozen, at least.”
“How many people ya killed?”
Your mind instantly went to the lifeless eyes of Gorman and Dawn. 
“Two.” You answered, without a hint of remorse.
“Why?” He asked.
You stared at him, expressionless. “I’m a woman and I’ve pretty much been on my own since the world ended. Why do you think?”
Daryl stared right back at you, and in his fierce blue gaze, you knew that he understood you completely. 
“All right, let’s go.”
“That’s it? I passed?” You asked, surprised.
“Looks like it.” He grunted, using your choice of words from earlier and earning a small smile from you because of it.
“Okay.” You agreed. “I’ll ride back here, and I won’t hold my gun on you . . . unless you drive too slow.”
“Pfft.” Daryl scoffed as he climbed back over to the driver’s side and began to work on restarting the car. “Don’t gotta worry ‘bout that.”
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baldurs-writers-3 · 1 month ago
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Horror: A Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfiction Rec List
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This week, we have Horror! Check under the cut for seven fics that explore some of the darker and more frightening elements of Faerun, and as always, comment and kudos if you like them!
Hand, Hearth, and Home by ElleKhen (393,131, Explicit) Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Body Horror Pairings: Astarion/Male Tav
This fic covers the backstory and in-game story of a warlock who was raised by a shadow-fey-possessed church. After being infected by the mind flayer tadpole, he meets a dream guardian who appears to him as a childhood friend and first love who he thought dead. As his party goes on with their quest, he is also forced to face the consequences of his shadow-cursed existence, and what that means for the people he loves.
Reccer says: I love that this fic is full of visceral, angsty smut and exciting action. But the author always follows up the hurt with comfort. They especially approach the Astarion romance with so much care, and do a great job of writing his voice. Due to the nature of Church’s magic, there are body horror elements especially when the story covers the events of Act 2. This fic expands upon the Shadowlands, Shadowfell, the Raven Queen, and shadow magic as a whole to depict terrifying sequences Church must face with his companions (and lover) beside him. I learned a lot about that particular D&D lore that way, and it made Act 2 feel a lot bigger and scarier than it originally felt.
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A Dream of Silence by AbigailMoment (2,683, Mature) Content Notes: possible main char death Pairings: astarion/tav
An interactive story, where you have to save Astarion from a horrible nightmare of worst thing that Cazador ever did to him
Reccer says: Very well written with tons of replayability. Also you get to pet his hair
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What Could Have Been by Bella1433! (119,228, Explicit) Content Notes: Dark themes, there are archive warnings Pairings: Tav (named) X Astarion
The maze scene, the race through the city. Astarion is a terrifying vampire lord in this fic!
Reccer says: Vampire lord acting like a vampire lord and being terrifying! Using his powers
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The Tyrant, the Assassin, and the Corpse by aqeldroma (3,241, Explicit) Content Notes: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Murder Pairings: The Dark Urge/Enver Gortash
After the Hall of Wonders, the Dark Urge visits Gortash to test him in another way. When she finds someone already in his bed, the night turns predictably violent.
Reccer says: Pre-canon Dark Urge and Gortash pairing, set back when they are testing each other's limits. The horrific things happen to everyone in their orbit, naturally.
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Hunger is Satisfaction by CountTavula (25,904, Explicit) Content Notes: Very dark content Pairings: Tav X Astarion
The psychological horror in this is extremely high and surprisingly so.
Reccer says: Its a thriller, psychological horror, not even a dark fantasy most times, just...dread
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The Vanishing of Astarion Ancunín: The beginning by Gally (3,526, Mature) Content Notes: None Pairings: None
A glimpse at his last few days of life and the first terrifying minutes of his new unlife.
Reccer says: He wasn't an evil man, he wasn't a great man... he was just a man.
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Bathed in Sound by Nikolai_237 (1,005, General) Content Notes: None Pairings: Karlach/Tav
In the Feyweird, not all is dangerous but most is unsettling. For instance, sometimes you find your partner just sitting in the middle of a bunch of floating whale skeletons.
Reccer says: This is my first concept fic for the Feyweird, my psychological horror playground, and for some reason people seem to like it. I enjoy writing creepy stuff and I love weaving horror into my work.
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The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!
Next week, we’ll be returning with a character rec list, this time for Lae’zel! 
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antianakin · 24 days ago
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hiii, it's me again, someone who keeps popping in to say things nobody asked for lol. i was wondering if people who've been in the fandom longer (like you) agree with my impression that the novelizations are reallyyy important context for fanon interpretations? i didn't realize this until a discussion i had today iwth someone who helpfully summarized some of the popular prequel novels, which seem to match up really well with headcanons & fanon personalities. apparently stover emphasized obi-wan's devotion to anakin and how he's a ride or die for him. and apparently another popular novel wrote an adult obi-wan "as if a teenager in emotional maturity" which also would, you know- explain a lot.
the novels i've actually read are the jedi apprentice series, which i don't have much issues with, even though they certainly spin the trauma wheel lol. maybe it's been qui-gon and obi-wan both feel as if they are trying their best and their misunderstandings due to mutual action, rather than pure passivity? or maybe that even though the books have very dramatic conflicts that certainly put obi-wan in woobifiable situations, they more often than not help draw out distinct characteristics and strengths of his through those situations?
Just for clarity, I have NOT been in this fandom all that long by my own standards. I obviously did watch Star Wars as a kid and read some Star Wars fanfics when I was really young, but in terms of "participating in fandom" as such, that's really only been happening since like... 2021 maybe? It was basically a COVID byproduct, I had the time to consume some Star Wars stuff I'd never managed to get around to before and things devolved from there. And I honestly have read hardly any of the novels or comics myself, including the official film novelizations. Like you, the only books I've actually read are the Jedi Apprentice middle grade books, and that's really it.
So while I can speak to some of the experiences I've had in this fandom since I got into it a few years ago, I cannot speak to what fandom has been like since those novelizations were released almost 20 years ago now.
Matthew Stover's ROTS novelization seems to be pretty popular and considered one of the better novelizations. I've had people tell me that there's SOME evidence Lucas had something to do with the book and so it's often considered a fairly high level of canon as a result.
But the passage you're referencing where Stover emphasizes how Obi-Wan is "ride or die" for Anakin is genuinely one of the reasons I've never bothered to read it, no matter how pretty people say his prose is. If you want to actually see it yourself, I'll copy it below.
The line in question comes from an extended version of the scene in ROTS where Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Mace Windu are discussing Anakin's reaction to being asked to spy on Palpatine as Yoda heads off to Kashyyyk.
“I think," Obi-Wan said carefully, "that abstractions like peace don't mean much to him. He's loyal to people, not to principles. And he expects loyalty in return. He will stop at nothing to save me, for example, because he thinks I would do the same for him." Mace and Yoda gazed at him steadily, and Obi-Wan had to lower his head. "Because," he admitted reluctantly, "he knows I would do the same for him.”
Interpret the scene how you will, I guess. The Anakin characterization meshes with how I tend to understand the character, but the Obi-Wan characterization could not be farther away from how I see him in canon.
I don't know anything about whatever novel wrote Obi-Wan as though he had the emotional maturity of a teenager. That doesn't ring any bells for me. It wouldn't surprise me at all if there are authors who've written Star Wars books that just simply don't like Obi-Wan all that much and so if he shows up in their work, he could come across as having the emotional maturity of a teenager because that's how that author chose to write him. It would seem odd for it to show up in an official film novelization, I would expect it more in some of the Legends content, but I suppose it's not impossible.
Legends content in general DOES have an impact on fanon and fan interpretations of Star Wars because, for a long while, it was the only way to GET more Star Wars content beyond the films themselves. For a lot of people, they were canon because there was nothing to refute them. And even once there was, people sometimes were still so attached to those stories that they preferred them to the story told in the films.
So, yeah, it can have a major impact on people's understanding of things. Often if you get into discussions about, say, the Jedi or the Force, people will bring up Legends content to prove their arguments. You shouldn't feel like this means you personally have to consume any Legends content you don't want to consume. I tend to avoid it most of the time. It is perfectly for you to just stick with the films or the shows or whatever books you find most interesting. And even within that, what you consider canon doesn't have to include literally everything you've chosen to consume. I've read the Jedi Apprentice books and enjoyed them, but it ISN'T real canon and I don't necessarily take any of it into account in my own interpretations of the characters. Legends content and Disney EU content is, in many ways, just officially licensed fanfiction. If you don't consider every fanfic you read to be canon, you do not have to consider every Legends book or comic you choose to read to be canon, either. Sometimes it's fun to just see other people's takes on Star Wars even if there's no way to fit into the canon story of Star Wars (as a side note, this is why I love Star Wars: Visions so much as a show).
I don't know if this really answered your question. As someone who doesn't consume a lot of Legends content and hasn't read a single one of the official film novelizations, I may not be the right person to ask about this.
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speedierthanasubmarine · 7 months ago
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Finished heaven official’s blessing and I really enjoyed writing an analysis on helluva boss I want to make this a regular thing because it’s fun so here’s my thoughts on
Heaven Official’s Blessing
Spoilers (duh)
I think it’s incredibly impressive when someone can make an overarching narrative in which different seemingly disjointed events are significant without A) putting a giant exclamation mark on top saying “REMEMBER THIS IT WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER” and B) Significantly over or under emphasizing the importance of the scene in the moment. Each event stood on its own and I liked that.
There were several janky sentences and word choices but that’s a translation issue, this writer clearly knows what she’s doing.
Characters were a lot of fun and distinct, my favorites were Feng Xin, Pei Ming, Qi Ying, and Ling Wen whenever they were on the page I was like Ah yes, these pages are gonna be enjoyable and I was right, they’re all delightful (cept the brocade immortal stuff, but like I don’t care, Google assistant is fun) Xie Lian and San Lang are delightful, love them, and San Lang is so effed in the head it’s enjoyable to try and imagine what unhinged thing he’ll do next
Tbh there isn’t much plot breakdown I want to do with this series because it knows what it is, it’s a fanfic ass book with good times, trauma, gay fluff, and fights. Need I say more? That’s not a detractor, it’s a strength. Be what you are and own it because a house with a house’s foundation is a great house but slap a building on that house’s foundation and it fails in both regards.
The only aspect I’m going to analyze is the narrative voice the books are written in because holy crap is it super impressive. Xie Lian is a super mature (or ditzy, depending on your point of view) character, he doesn’t dwell on things, doesn’t hold grudges, doesn’t really care that much about people’s histories or even their present, doesn’t focus much on externals and it comes through in the way the book is written. I noticed this when throughout the books San Lang would do fucked up stuff like make it rain blood and kill a pit’s worth of people and Xie Lian kinda didn’t really seem to care and at first it pissed me off, why isn’t the author letting consequences occur because of these peoples’ actions, but then as it held consistently throughout the book and other people kept being super concerned about stuff, like Pei Constantly asking after Shi Qingxuan (I don’t know how to spell their name, it’s so hard to keep track I’m so sorry) or people bringing up Banue, I realized this is just Xie Lian, other people in the book are regular people like me, this one guy is just experiencing things, going “Well, ain’t that something” and then just moving on. Honestly iconic, but also I was halfway through book six when I realized. Especially since whenever they do flashbacks Xie Lian does all normal stuff. He describes settings he’s in, he mentions events that happened a few pages ago, he tells the reader how he feels, it’s after he experiences all his shit he goes through that this all kinda slips away. In “present” scenes he’ll reference things as they come up but like in the flashback after Mu Qing leaves they talk about it a few times and I find that aspect of acknowledgment to be noticeably absent in the “present” scenes. After the black water arc there is a complete lack of discussion about the frankly trauma inducing event that just transpired but sure Cie Lian, you and San Lang have to not hold hands for the billionth time. At first I thought is this author high but then I realized what shes doing is characterizing through prose which is IMPRESSIVE AS HELL. This may be a point I noticed and am now misremembering the entire series just to bolster my take and if that’s the case then I shall sheepishly shrug and say I’m sorry. I’m not rereading 8 books to write a tumblr review. Maybe if I ever start a YouTube channel
I don’t know, I just find it to be an incredible feat of actually good writing when a story is being told through the lens of the main character and you can characterize that character by simply reading the story and seeing how it’s written, not even through dialogue and action. It’s kinda like the Great Gatsby or a Separate Peace, and it’s super cool that a book like this can accomplish the same thing that makes those classics great. There isn’t as much symbolism or analytical potential but those books wouldn’t be nearly as impactful as they were without great execution, which this book pulled off in spades.
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canonicallyobserving911 · 5 months ago
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WIP Wednesday
Fanonwriter2023 on AO3
Where CANON and FANON collide!
Important update regarding 'Chapter 29'
FANON FanFic: Buddie Multi-Chapter - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!
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Currently 28 chapters completed: 1.77M Words; Rated: Mature
#1 {Previous snippet} #2 {Previous snippet} #3 {Previous snippet}
#4 {Previous snippet} #5 {Previous snippet}
The good news is the chapter is huge because there’s a lot happening with the Diaz family. 🎆🥂
The even better news is Chapter 29 was getting so big, I had to divide it into two chapters, i.e., chapters 29 and 30. 🥳😁🤗
Here’s the 4-1-1: On Sunday, June 23rd, I posted a Several Sentences Sunday and I indicated it would be the final snippet from Chapter 29. Even though that was my original plan and I was adamant about sticking to it, my plans changed as I continued to write the chapter.  On Monday, I realized in order to do the chapter justice, there was no way I could reasonably fit everything into 80K words or less.  Therefore, I took yesterday to reevaluate and I decided to divide it into two separate chapters.  It was a great decision but it wasn’t the first time I’ve done it within this multi-chapter fic.  I did it with Chapter 22 because it was huge and I didn’t know until I got ready to post it in AO3 that the site wouldn’t let me upload that many words in one chapter.  So, Buck and Eddie’s marriage ceremony and the time the Diazes spent in Italy was divided into two chapters, 22 and 23.  Since Chapter 29 is larger than Chapter 22 was before I divided it, I knew I couldn’t continue writing it until I made that crucial decision.
Please understand I love writing and I love all the fics I’ve written but for many reasons, this one is special to me.  Mainly because Buck, Eddie and Chris as well as the other main characters are growing and I can see how far they’ve come when I go back and review previous chapters.  I’m allowing the writing and the narrative to go where they’re organically going to go and for me, it’s the best way to write.  Two of my biggest pet peeves with CANON is lots of things happen off-screen and there’s not enough time in each episode for everything to be included.  I know they have 43 to 45 minutes but I like to see things happen and it’s the same way when I’m reading.  I’m still pissed we didn’t get to see Buck and Eddie sing karaoke but I digress because if I go there, we’ll be here all day.  I like to see and read everything so I won’t have to do mental gymnastics in order to figure out where or what the show or a writer wants me to know but that’s just me. 😜
I’ve posted about the way I worry over the size of the chapters in several of the notes sections and this time was no different because I literally had to stop stressing over how large Chapter 29 had become. I fully understand multi-chapter fics aren’t every reader’s cup of tea but I love long fics and not only do I write them; I read them too.  One shots are great and I’ve written some but I usually end up turning them into a series because I believe there’s even more story to be told.  When I started writing this fic more than a year ago, my initial plan was for it to be 12 chapters but by the time I got to Chapter 6, I changed it to undecided then after I posted Chapter 11, I decided the final number would be 30.  After I wrote Chapter 25, I took a few days to reevaluate where I wanted Buck’s, Eddie’s and Chris’ storylines to go and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fit it all into the remaining five chapters, therefore I increased it to 40.  The good thing about that is I incorporated 2 additional chapters in the count so my plan is to still complete this fic within 40 chapters.
I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who’s read and commented on this fic on AO3 (I read and respond to every comment) and to those who’ve reblogged posts about it on Tumblr.  I really appreciate all of you and I know writing more than 1 million words for a fic is a lot but I love this fic, I’m going to see it through to the end and I’m going to continue to let the writing do what it does.
Since I’m planning to post both Chapters 29 and 30 no later than this weekend, I’ve included one more snippet below and I hope everyone enjoys reading it.
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Here’s a snippet from one of Buck and Eddie’s conversations they’re having while they’re lying in bed and it’s emotionally angsty.
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“Babe, you know how much I care about Bobby and my relationship with him, right?”
“Of course I do.  He’s been there for all of us but for you it’s different because he’s not just your captain, he’s also a father to you and you’re his son.  It’s been like that for years.”
“Exactly and him being my captain, mentor, friend and father figure has been great but the truth is… I don’t think he believes I can lead.  I didn’t tell you this but when I was trying to get him to notice me so he could see how good I am at being a firefighter…”  He trails off because he’s not sure if he should even mention it.
Eddie raises his eyebrows but he doesn’t interrupt, he just patiently waits for him to continue.
Since Buck’s not sure where his career will end up whenever Frank releases him to return to work and he’ll have to discuss what he’s thinking tomorrow when he meets with Captain Mehta, he decides to just say it.  “He told me I didn’t have enough life experience but I think my personal life shouldn’t matter.”
“I agree, it shouldn’t but did he say anything else?”
“No… well yeah but it was all about taking inventory of my life so I—I can be at ease but I still don’t know what that has to do with me being fire captain.”
Eddie gently squeezes his hand because he can tell his husband is getting upset.  He inhales then says, “Amore mio… a lot about your life has changed since then and it’s unclear why Bobby said those things without elaborating but I do have some ideas about why he didn’t… which we’ll discuss in a minute but let me ask you a question.  Last April, during your performance review, did you ask him about it?”
“No… I didn’t because he listed my PT scores as outstanding when they weren’t.  Then he um… reminded me that I died and I told him I needed to be held to the same standard as everyone else.  I wanted to talk to him then but it didn’t seem like the right time and I still want to talk to him but I don’t think he’ll be objective and it’s the reason why I believe it’s time for me to consider transferring out of the 118… again but it’s different this time and it’s the reason why I want to talk to Captain Mehta since I’m thinking about applying to work at another firehouse.”
Eddie’s eyes widen because he’s in shock but he recovers quickly.  “Let’s talk this through because you told me you want to be captain one day and not just any captain, you said you want to be captain of the 118.  I know you’re not ready to go back to work and you know I’ll fully support your decision if you decide not to but amore mio… how do you feel about being fire captain now that it’s possible Frank could be releasing you from therapy soon?  I’m asking because being captain is your dream.”
“I—I’m not sure but I have been thinking it might be time to give up on my dream since things have changed and if I decide to return um… it’s likely everyone on A-shift will be moving on to other things but where’s that going to leave me?”  He admits with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.
“My love… you know I’ll support you no matter what you decide but I have to be honest, I’m worried”.
“Why?”
“Because being captain of the 118 is your dream and you’ve always been Bobby’s protégé.”
“Yeah, I thought so too but it’s different now because Bobby has already picked the person he wants to take his place but he’s never even considered me.”  He pauses for a few seconds then continues.  “It’s not important anyway because I can work out of any firehouse in Los Angeles”.
He frowns and replies, “Buck?!  Your dream is important and it matters.  In September, you told me being captain of the 118 is something you’ve been wanting for a long time so… talk to me.  If you don’t want it anymore I’ll understand but if you do… you know I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”
“Babe, I know you will but the fact is I’ve been on medical leave for more than five months and I—I was on paid administrative restrictions and paid administrative leave several weeks before that.  A lot’s happened over the years and I don’t know if Bobby will ever be able to see past the stuff I did.”
“But Buck…”
He whispers, “It’s ok.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a firefighter and I don’t know if I can come back from them.  I’ve disobeyed orders more times than I can count, I filed a lawsuit against the city and a lot of other things that I can’t change.  It’s where I am now so maybe it’s time for me to consider other options.”
What is Eddie going to say next?🤷🏽‍♀️
What is Captain Mehta going to say to Buck when they talk? 👀
Is Buck going to leave the 118 if Frank releases him to return to work? 🙃
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Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.
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Chapter Summaries
Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.
Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.
Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.
Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.
Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.
Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.
Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.
Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.
Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.
Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.
Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.
Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.
Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.
Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?
Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.
Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.
Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.
Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.
Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.
Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?
Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.
Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.
Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.
Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.
Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?
Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.
Chapter 27 - After Buck resumes therapy, he’ll continue to face the fact that he “DIED” in March 2023 and during those sessions, he’ll learn about the 7 stages of grief. As he continues his healing journey, Eddie will be right by his side just like he promised and the Diaz family will start to deal with their three minutes and seventeen seconds loss as a family.
Chapter 28 - Two years ago, Eddie was asked, “What are you afraid of?”; twice, once by Frank and once by Buck but he only answered one of them without deflecting. Since that time, he’s been to therapy and him and Buck got married but the question resurfaces when Frank asks Buck the same question and Buck asks it of Eddie for the second time. However, when Buck asks, his reasoning will be about something else entirely.
Chapter 29 - Will be posted soon.
Chapter 30 - Will be posted soon.
__________
Read chapters 1-28 are available on AO3.
Continue reading on AO3
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fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic · 9 months ago
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Good Omens Fic Rec: What We Make of It (Shotgun Wedding)
The important thing, Crowley tells himself -- the most important thing -- is Adam, his brilliant, creative, empathetic nephew. Being fourteen's hard enough; the kid didn't ask to deal with the weight of the world on top of it. And if taking care of Adam means Crowley has to tough it out at a job he can’t stand, so be it. And if Crowley's job means that Adam’s charming English teacher is NOT a romantic possibility, well, that's just how things go. But the occasional drink with Aziraphale proves hard to resist. They frequent the same pub, so who can object to them saying hello? Briefly sharing a table? Perhaps a little conversation? The painful knowledge that it can’t be anything more -- not without somebody getting fired or sued or both -- well, that can't be helped. Until Crowley stumbles onto a terribly reckless idea...
Length: 213,340 words
AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥
Best for: Safe in Public, Human AU, Slow Burn, Pick-Me-Up
Triggers: None
Read it here, fic by charlottemadison
*Minor Spoilers* I was so certain that I had already posted about this one! When I saw I hadn't, well, that just warranted a reread didn't it! This is a very famous fic, so I wouldn't be surprised if you've already read this. But if you haven't, or maybe didn't know if it was worth committing to the length, I'm here to tell you its very much worth your time.
Not only is this an excellent parent story, it's also a fake marriage story! Crowley is a single parent to his nephew Adam who strikes up a friendship with Adam's English teacher Mr. Fell. The problem? The company Crowley works for has a strict rule against dating anyone in the School Industry. You know, it's a tiny bit dramatic, but also one of the cleverer ideas to justify writing a forbidden relationship. Does this happen in real life? I don't know, but the way this is written I fully believe it could! Either way, there's a loophole they can exploit so they can be together, and all it takes is a quick, "I do."
Ugh their relationship is so wonderful here. It's very mature and healthy, the kind of relationships we want to read about because they are just so safe. They're able to talk through their issues and feelings and know they're always going to be supported. The love they have is so heartwarming it’s sickening. A lot is told through letters and text messages, which I personally loved. These are different characters from canon, they've both been changed by their human lives and surroundings, but this story just understands who they are deep down. They're not shallow characterizations.
Who this story really gets right is Adam. I full on believe this is the best handling of Adam in any fanfic I've read for Good Omens. A majority of the plot revolves around him being narcoleptic and epileptic. It has tons of amazing things to say about health care, being chronically ill, and being a parent to a child with health issues. But outside of that it understands who Adam is. Someone who is brilliant, creative, a leader, manipulative, arrogant. And how those traits can be both positive and negative for him. He wants to change the world, but has some learning to do along the way. I loved him, and I love how much Crowley loves being a dad. He even remarks on it, that people don't expect men to love being parents. It's nice to read a story of such a devoted guardian.
A really excellent story, it deserves it's popularity! I would say this is largely safe for public. There are a couple explicit scenes tucked in but they are skippable and a small section of a large story. Which by the way, will fly by! This story does NOT feel like 200K words. If you haven't gotten around to this one, I highly suggest you do!
Read it here, fic by charlottemadison
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fluffydice · 8 months ago
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What first drew you to Kusou and Aren as a ship?
I really like the way you write their parallels in your writing.
Also curious. Who else do you ship Saiki with?
Just bothering you because it's fun!
I’ll be so honest, I like Aren and Kusuo a lot because it reminds me a lot of my own relationship. Like a lot. To the point where some of the incorrect quotes or lines I’ve written in fanfic are based off of (or even direct copies of) things we’ve said to each other.
They also work really well together and have a lot of trauma to explore. Writing was originally my way of understanding my own, and helping me understand how people work in the first place. I’m not naturally empathetic, so using them let’s me make connections between the way a person acts and the why behind it—particularly because their reasonings are so plain to see.
I’m not averse to most Saiki ships. I ship quite a few, actually. I just never write about them because I’d either get more out of a friendship dynamic between them or I think Kusuo isn’t really ready to be in a relationship with people who are naturally put together. This might sound weird, but I think Kusuo needs at least slight tension in his relationships, things to argue over, because if he doesn’t, he feels infantilized. Or worse: insane. Not being the only one who’s dealing with crap can make you feel more normal, something Kusuo definitely craves. It also lets him indulge in those mother-henning tendencies of his, so bonus!
,,,He’s also a snarky bastard who needs someone who can handle being his verbal scratching post from time to time—someone he can play bite and know they won’t break. It’s a huge bonus that Aren can give as good as he gets. Aren is one of the few that will drag Kusuo by the ear and make him listen, and someone who Kusuo respects enough to let it slide. Those are two small categories already—it’s hard to find other characters, besides maybe Aiura, that fit both.
My favorite Saiki ships are with Teruhashi, Aiura, Akechi, or Nendo—though I’m very fond of Saiki being Kaido’s first crush, and think they could be work well together if they mature a bit in the romance department. They’re both really inexperienced when it comes to romance, but it’s hard to be in a relationship where both of you are doing the mental equivalent of frantically offering the other person to go before you in a queue.
(And as a guilty pleasure ship, Saiki, Kuboyasu, and Aiura hold a special place in my heart. I’ve thought a lot about writing something for them lmfaooo)
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ellecdc · 9 months ago
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hihi!! i really love ur writing and all your series (CBBH, drink snob, AMWAP) and all the rest. they’re just so beautifully crafted and it shows you put a lot of of thought into every fic.
i was just wondering what are your boundaries with minors on your blog? i didn’t see anything about it so i’ve refrained from interacting to make you comfortable but, i just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask.
thank you! <3
*update as of may 4th, 2024*:
I swear, I can be vulgar, and I make inappropriate jokes/comments at times; so do many of my characters - please do expect to find both profanity and perhaps lewd comments/jokes in my works.
I always ensure to properly tag my fics in order to notify followers and readers that there is mature content, smut, or otherwise explicit material; what you do with that warning is ultimately up to you, however, I ask that anyone under the age of 18 please not like, comment, or otherwise engage in discussion with myself or any of my followers regarding mature, smut, or explicit themes or works whether written by myself or other writers on this app.
I am not anyone's mother and I will not be telling anyone whether they can or cannot read what I've written on an app that is free for all to use, however, I expect you to also respect my boundaries on my blog.
This is my main takeaway:
All-in-all... I think you are responsible for the content you consume on the internet. I don't like the idea of restricting access to my works to a demographic on the off chance someone may find it inappropriate or uncomfortable - so I won't, but I'm also trusting that minors will be responsible and knowledgable when it comes to the kind of content they may find across Tumblr.
TL;DR - you are welcome to interact with my blog so long as you're safe, aware, and mindful of both yourself and those around you.
Uhm wow, first of all - I love you! Thank you so much, and I'm very glad you've enjoyed my works!
Second of all, I think this is a really good question and I appreciate you bringing this up
I posted the first part of The Drink Snob & Come Back, Be Here when I had zero (0) followers. I was enjoying reading fanfics by writers on the platform, and I had some of my own that I figured I'd share. I never really imagined my fics would get any attention - let alone the amount of attention they've since received! I've also gained a lot of followers since then, so I do suppose it would be good to acknowledge the fact that not all Tumblr users or Marauder's fans are over 18.
I swear a LOT. Like....a lot a lot....and so do my characters (specifically our werewolf mcswearwolf). I think to in order to remain authentic to myself as well as who I believe these characters to be - I won't stop that. Some of my jokes/content/references may be a little mature or slightly 'inappropriate', as well.
I haven't posted anything particularly steamy/smutty - I've never been requested nor have I ever tried. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to trying - however, if I do post something like that I would put the appropriate content warnings on the post.
All-in-all: I think you are responsible for the content you consume on the internet. I don't like the idea of restricting access to my works to a demographic on the off chance someone may find it inappropriate or uncomfortable - so I won't, but I'm also trusting that minors will be responsible and knowledgable when it comes to the kind of content they may find across Tumblr.
TL;DR - you are welcome to interact with my blog so long as you're safe, aware, and mindful of both yourself and those around you.
Thanks for asking, my love 🫶
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army93bangya · 10 months ago
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The Moon Goddess’s Chosen | Chapter 2 | MYG [M]
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Chapter 2
*Summary: Y/N has been sheltered and hidden within her pack her whole life. She is gifted and her father the alpha of the pack does not want her to find her mate and leave the birth pack. But not even he can stop her from attending the mate gathering between many packs every year to find one’s fated mate. Y/N is worried what her father will do should her mate find her and try to take her. Add in the revelation that the talked about fairly new pack Bangtan will be in attendance this year. Rumored to be ruthless and their alpha heartless, Y/N has every reason to be concerned and riddled with anxiety.
*Genre/Rating: Mature, 18+, Werewolf/Fated mates, eventual smut?
*Warnings/Potential Triggers: Talks of Child Abuse, Abuse, Non-con Touching, Mistreatment, Non-con Confinement, Angst, Anxiety, Nervousness, Character Poisoning, Explicit Language, Mention of plotting Murder, Mention of Murder/Massacre, Reader is going thru it, Possible future Smut,….more to be added in future chapters.
*Disclaimer: This work was written and owned by Army93bangya and there is no consent for anyone else to post it as theirs, this story is intended for entertainment purposes only, this story is a work of fantasy, seems a bit ridiculous to say but I do not own or have rights to BTS or the members and the characters in this story are a fictional interpretation of members.
*Notes: ATTENTION! Pov change to second person writing. OMG I was really amped up after posting the first chapter/teaser and immediately started working on chapter 2. My sleep has suffered getting this all typed out, but I just could not help it! I worked really hard on this, and I just have to say, as a long-time avid fanfic reader I now have an extreme appreciation to all the writers out there. I knew that writers put a lot of time, energy, and passion into their work, but I never truly sat and thought about how much work it is. So, for all the writers out there and the ones whose stories I have read and love I just want to say ya'll are rockstars in my book! I wrote this and thought I was done but then went back to proofread and edit and ended up writing another 1k words last night. Anyways again, if you come upon this story and give it a chance, Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy!
*Words: 4k
*Date posted: 01/14/2024
Previous Chapter —- Next Chapter
Maddie left your tent a few minutes ago to join the other pack members that were already making their way to the gathering. Sitting silently you wait for your father to come fetch you when Darius storms in. Grabbing you he throws you on the bedding. You let out a surprised yelp and try to get back up, but he pushes your body back down growling as a warning before climbing on top of you to start rubbing his entire body against yours practically squishing you, and seemingly trying to scent you as much as he can. Grabbing the bottom half of your face and yanking your head to the side, he starts laving his tongue roughly against your pulse point where a mating mark should go, before moving your head to the other side giving it the same treatment. Feeling disgusted by his actions and close proximity you attempt to push him off, but he grips harder, an even louder growl rumbling through him causes you to freeze knowing better than to keep resisting.  
“Don’t think for one second you’re going to find your mate and be free of us. If you bond tonight with anyone he will be dead before you can even make it out of this territory!” You glare at him as he pulls himself off you, yanking you up to stand, heavily sniffing the air to make sure his scenting was efficient. You now reeked of this fucker and wouldn’t be able to get his scent off without having to bathe again. He shoots you a threatening look “You can glare and act like you don’t want me as much as you desire, but we both know that someday your father is going to stop dangling you over my head as motivation for my eventual secession finally letting me sink my teeth into that pretty neck”  
Your father waltzes into the tent with a stern look permanently etched onto his face and glances between you two. “You did a good job Darius, I can hardly smell her scent.” Darius’s face turns smug and you have an almost irresistible impulse to find something sturdy that you could pick up and land the hardest blow you can against his unappealing mug. Words sink in and your mouth almost drops open in realization before schooling your features and looking at the ground instead like your father usually preferred. Of fucking course these two had come up with this tactic. Drenching you in Darius' scent, basically claiming you as his future chosen mate to mask your own so that you have less chance of your mate smelling you. You feel upset but at the same time if your mate is in attendance today and doesn’t catch your scent, or thinks you already have a chosen mate and decides not to approach you, then you don’t have to worry about him being killed. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if your mate finds you and is a kind decent wolf, only to be murdered because of what you are and your father’s desperation to keep you forever captive for his own selfishness.  
Being the Goddess’s chosen, the mage wolf, you are supposed to be one that all wolves from any pack can seek out for guidance as you are a direct link to the goddess herself. You feel her at times and you know she is displeased for how you have been treated. The fact that the gifts she bestowed upon you has been kept hidden from the world. To be selfishly used for the benefit of one pack, for one alphas greed, has angered her. Not that you are offering a whole hell of alot for your birth pack. The link between the Goddess and yourself feels frayed, your abilities not as controlled as they should be.  As a child you wanted to learn the intricacies of the link  and figure out how to manage your gifts. You was happy to be her mage wolf, to have that connection with the Moon Goddess. Gaining hers and your fathers approval was just about the only thing you cared about. But eventually you got tired. You were not progressing quick enough for your father, he began to get frustrated and irate because you could not fulfill all his requests. That's when the abuse started, first you would just be locked in a room for days on end only receiving your meals. When that did not give the results he hoped for, the amount of food you received began to lessen as well. He always let you have just enough nutrients to keep you alive and somewhat mobile so that he could stretch out how long he kept you locked up before letting you out. You remember being so weak but reaching out through the link, you wanted your goddess to help you, to help you mend your fathers soul or to escape if he could not be healed. But she never did. Only sending feelings of patience and reassurance. You used to think that she was telling you to be patient and that you would be liberated from this loneliness and confinement. But your spirit broke and eventually you just gave up. Now you just don’t care. Choosing to try and ignore the link, not listen, not feel the goddess as much as you can. You have long come to terms that the destiny she has thrust upon you wasn’t meant to be. Greed and a thirst for power had corrupted it.  
Your father walking towards you interrupts your thoughts. Glancing up but not looking at his face you see the cup in his hands and your stomach immediately churns knowing the contents that it held. He stops in front of you and holds the cup out for you to take. “Drink up. We can���t have any of your abilities making an unwanted appearance today or anyone finding out what you are.” Reaching for the cup hand shaking as you grasp your fingers around it, you know that you cannot refuse or there will be consequences. Accepting your present fate you respond. “Yes father.” Bringing the cup to your mouth, you down the contents as fast as you can the burn of it agonizing as it enters your body, a feeling you're all too familiar with. Tea laced with wolfsbane, not enough to fully poison or kill you but enough to make you feel weak, subdued, and to temporarily mute your gifts so that they will not surface when out in public. Your father makes you drink it whenever he wants to punish or establish control over you, it is also a method of containing your abilities if they start to go haywire. It makes you weak and unable to resist, not that you resist much of anything anymore. The wolfsbane leaves your body in pain until it is out of your system. You feel it causing a burning pain in your muscles and joints, your body beginning to feel heavier, the pounding beginning in your head. If they had given you a little bit of a stronger dose you would have been bedridden. As the wolfsbane makes its way through your system you once again contemplate for maybe the millionth time why your father didn’t just tell the other packs that you have already found your mate in your birth pack. The only thing you can think of is because of Darius. He means to eventually let his pupil mark you. If he says you already found your fated mate only to later be marked by Darius as his chosen mate and the other packs somehow found out? The packs would be outraged at your fathers blatant disrespect to tradition. It would make him look bad in front of the other packs, possibly losing him the few allies he has. 
You sway just slightly on your feet and Darius moves to your side placing his arm around your waist, holding you up squeezing slightly uncomfortably. “You will stay by my side tonight. You will not go anywhere without me, keep your head down and do not speak unless spoken to. Do you understand Y/N?” His hand squeezes your side harder prompting you to answer. “I understand.” Secretly thinking that if you hurl today you hope It lands on him.The plan they have come up with is beginning to piece together for you and you have to say it’s a good one. First cover you in Darius’s scent, marking you as his and warding off other wolves. Give you wolfsbane to not only subdue your gifts and keep them from making an appearance, as sometimes you can’t control it when you are facing strong emotions no matter how good you are at hiding them. Also with the wolfsbane in your system you have no choice but to stay at Darius’s side, too weak to be able to walk around and mingle by yourself. Lastly, keeping your head down is not only keeping you submissive, it is also another way of making sure no connection to a mate is made. Mate connections can be made by scent, touch, and lastly eye contact. Yeah, you hate yourself for admitting the two banes of your existence have seemingly come up with a pretty good plan. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The gathering is massive with multiple packs attending, even if the crowd is mostly just unmated wolves and the pack leaders. It is a huge clearing that stretches far in a neutral territory. With enormously long tables and benches set up on all the outskirts of the field. There are several piles of stacked wood placed strategically in areas throughout the field to be lit when the sun goes down so that the event can last through the night giving as much time for everyone to mingle in hopes to find one's fated mate. The mate gathering is sacred and bloodshed is prohibited. All these packs come together for one night peacefully lest they be banned from ever getting to attend again.
Darius, you, and the four pack betas follow behind your father to an area more so reserved for the leaders. You steal quick glances of your surroundings but keep your head lowered for the most part and stand next to Darius who stays close to your fathers side even after he dismisses his betas to go enjoy themselves but be on guard. A few alphas come up to your father and comment on your presence, asking if this was the mysterious daughter that has not been able to attend due to sickness. These alphas must be his adversaries, the ones that would not let your father continue to withhold you from a chance at being a mate to someone in their packs. But you must not seem to be as much of a mystery as they were hoping for because they do not stick around for very long after they get the acknowledgement that you are the daughter he has been hiding. Or they just can't stand to be around your father which seems more likely. The wolfsbane in your system and your demeanor makes it believable that you are sickly and you can feel the stares on your form concluding that they are most likely expressions of either concern or disgust. Your father just laughs about how you haven't been feeling well this day and that you are an incredibly shy girl. For fucks sake this whole experience is painful, and its not just cause of the literal poison in your system. Being paraded around all these strangers reeking of the asshole next to you, being forced to look docile and pathetic while masking the extensive discomfort of wolfsbane flowing through your body, you have a strong desire to throw your head back and scream as loud as you can. But that little act of defiance would probably get you starved and locked away for a month. 
A growl accompanied by yelling rings out somewhere to the left and your head instinctively snaps up, eyes following the sound. You let out gasp at the scene, Maddie stands with a distraught look on her face while a man in front of her towers over another male, fist clenched and growling threateningly. A quick realization flashes through your mind recognizing the man on the ground. His name is Vix, Maddie always talks about him, that he has been pursuing her for almost a year now. He wants her to be his choice mate and after four years of not finding her fated mate at any gatherings, she has agreed that if she didn't find her mate this year she would be open to attempt a relationship with him. You focus back on the events unfolding as another unfamiliar wolf appears and grabs Mr.pissed offs arm whispering in his ear, his body relaxes and they both turn to look at Maddie. Your heart clenches at the terror on her face, she remains frozen, eyes wide as the seemingly now calm man walks up to her slowly like she is a skittish doe, standing before her his back is now to you so you can’t see Maddie on the other side of him. Slowly raising his arm, hand extended out to her, he speaks so softly that you can’t make out what he says, but a moment later she takes his hand and is being led out of the field on the opposite side that your pack entered. Your knowing perception somehow makes an appearance and it tells you that Maddie just found her mate. Vix gets up with a look that speaks of his anguish as one of your fathers' betas approaches him, grabbing his arm and leading him in the direction that will take him back to camp. You feel terrible for the wolf whose heart longed for your best friend. You recall her once telling you that much like Darius, Vix mate had died before he could ever find her. The feeling one gets when your wolf side senses the death of their fated mate is said to be gut-wrenching and leaves inside a feeling of hopelessness that can last weeks.
Darius' arm tightens around your waist in warning urging to once again lower your gaze. As you oblige you overhear a conversation happening not too far away. "Wasn't that one of the betas from Bangtan?” Your body feels like it just took a physical blow. That pack name had completely slipped your mind with all the stress of your own predicament bearing down on you. From a further distance away you hear the guy's companion reply “Yeah that was one of them. I would keep my distance if I were you, those betas are rumored to be just as powerful as an alpha” You can barely make out the first guys scoff and Darius who was apparently also listening to snickers before leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Looks like you're going to need a new maid. Don't agonize over it too much, she just got a raise in position. From lowly maid to the mate of a beta, I'm sure she will be ‘very’ well taken care of.” Dick. How you wish you could retaliate to his nasty derogatory words. Tears start to prick your eyes and you take a deep breath to subdue the panic you now feel for your best friend. She was your chosen family, the one person you could fully trust in the world. In the rare instances when you would lash out or if your abilities became overwhelming and started acting up, your father would lock you back into your solitude room. Maddie would sneak extra food to you and risk sitting by the door to talk to you for a while. She took care of you, encouraged you, lifted your spirits when everything got to be too much. She was your person and now she is gone. The grief you feel is immense but you lock it all away as best you can, you still have to get through this day.
“Well wasn't that a spectacle?” “Alpha Sharp, it's good to see a friend amongst these miscreants.” You almost snort, did your father just call other alphas ‘miscreants’? What a master of projection. “Alpha Y/L/N it's been awhile since we have had a chance to talk. How is your territory fairing?” You begin to tune them out and focus on your body and willing it to stay strong. Knowing your father you would not be attending for too much longer having already been here a few hours. He is just waiting for an adequate amount of time to pass before sending you back to your temporary camp without seeming suspicious. Or heck maybe he wants you to pass out and he can use such a display to keep you from ever having to attend again. Wouldn't put it past him to be elated with that outcome.
“That's Alpha Min over there and his other five betas with him.” If your ears could have perked up in this form they definitely would have. Fuck you want to look, to see the leaders of the pack everybody is apprehensive of and gossiping about. The thought shoots a pang through you reminding you again of Maddie. Of Course the halfwit next to you has to chime in. “That's him!? He's the powerful merciless alpha everybody whispers about?” You don't have to be looking to know that your father and Alpha Sharp have stiffened and are probably throwing warning looks at Darius for the volume he spoke those words in an area filled with sensitive ears. “Darius speak that loudly again and you will return to the camp.” You can't help the small upturn of your mouth at the reprimand. Promises promises. 
“Sharp you always have your ears open, what have you heard about him?” You start to feel prickly. Maybe the wolfsbane didn't subdue your gifts as well as you thought because you begin to have a knowing feeling that you are being looked at, and not by anyone standing close to you.“Plenty. But whether what I've been told is factual or not I don’t know.” His audience must be staring at him expectantly because ‘alpha not so sharp’ sighs before continuing. “Let me start by telling you the only thing I do know for sure; Min Yoongi is the son of Alpha Min Hoon of the Min pack.” You startle hearing that pack name but it goes unnoticed as Darius and your father both stiffen and must be paying undivided attention to Alpha Sharp. Why didn’t this alphas surname spark recollection in you before. The Min pack was revered and old, very old. Everybody knows that the last mage wolf the goddess created was born into the Min pack. Darius’s voice breaks your train of thoughts. "I didn't know there was any survivors from Alpha Min's family.” “Well if what I heard is true you can't exactly call him a survivor. We all knew that the Min pack was decimated eight years ago, but it's all been speculation as to what exactly happened. What I was told is Min Yoongi ran away from his pack and went missing for an entire week before returning with a bunch of rogue wolves who helped him slaughter his entire pack before running off again.” 
You feel bile rising in your throat, your heart quickening from hearing something so heinous. Why? What would have been the reason to do something that vile? That knowing prick starts again, somebody is watching you and the desire to look up in the direction you feel it coming from is almost overwhelming. From the ringing that has started in your ears you hear your father being the one to reply to Alpha Sharps words. “I knew that after it happened that there was a fight over the Min territory from the Crimson pack and the Kim pack who was the Mins ally” Alpha Sharp exhales a dry laugh before responding. “Yes from what I heard both sides lost quite a few wolves before they came to an agreement to split the territory, but then we know that two years after that the Kim pack was destroyed and the Bangtan pack was formed under Min Yoongi. For five years Bangtan and Crimson packs feuded and had territory disputes, Crimson being weakened from their previous fighting with the Kims was not able to get rid of Bangtan. That is until last year when the new Alpha Min once again slaughtered the entire Crimson pack leaving no survivors.”
Darius cuts in being fully engrossed in what he is being told. “I find all this hard to believe. How did one wolf take down not one but three damn packs. I know Bangtan now has all three territories, but there has to be more to this than him supposedly being blessed by the moon goddess.” You wish that whoever kept stealing glances at you would just stop. It is a foreboding feeling that is filling your already exhausted and overstimulated self with unease. You long to be able to just turn it off, to not be forced to be so acutely aware of this wolf's interest of your person. Focusing back on the conversation before you, Sharp answers captain oblivious. “How did I say that I was told he did it the first time? Rogues. Eight years ago, he ran and returned with rogues only to vanish again. It was said to me that those two years before he took the Kim pack down, that he was moving between the territories collecting rogues to fight for him. If I had to guess, he gave them promises of being a part of a pack again to earn their loyalty and that started to form what would become the Bangtan pack.”
You feel like you're having some bizarre out of body experience. You feel what you have felt since you drank the wolfsbane, the pain in your body, the throbbing in your head, and your seemingly muted gifts. Your emotions from what you are hearing, and being distraught over Maddie are there too, but the knowing sense is what is taking over and beginning to feel hefty. Someone will not stop observing you, and this sensation is so strong that a tingling feeling has also spread throughout your body. You feel this immense urge to lift your eyes, to finally gaze upon whoever this person is that your precognitive gift is screaming at you to see. 
You're abruptly alarmed and left even further unsettled when your father, Darius, and Alpha Sharp's body language all abruptly change, taking on a more defensive but still somewhat of a civil stance. Darius’s arm once again tightens around your waist gripping and would probably feel more painful if you weren't so shell shocked and overwhelmed. You can no longer stop yourself from raising your eyes, first glancing at the man you despise, who hasn’t let go of you since you got here. His face is drawn tight with a look that says whoever he is gazing at is very much unwelcome. Somehow even with the wolfsbane poisoning your system, your link to the moon goddess comes bursting through your soul like a battle cry possibly stronger than you have ever felt it before. It is as if she is beseeching you, piercing you with cries to look! Just follow your gift, heed my command! The insistence, the urging is so shattering that you just can't take the torture of it anymore.
With your head raised you turn it slowly in trepidation, and to not cause yourself a wave of dizziness. Shifting your sight to immediately follow the feeling of compulsion and glance at who the moon goddess has implored you to gaze upon. A wolf with cat-like eyes has approached your group. His face holds blank, but his eyes speak. His wolf coming through them and shining amber with the bond of a fated mate being placed in him, and you know without a shadow of a doubt that your eyes are doing the same. Somebody's voice breaks through but your mind is so gone you don't have the slightest recognition of who it belongs to.
“To what do we owe this pleasure Alpha Min?”
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