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一期一会
一期一会 (lit. "one time, one meeting") [it͡ɕi̥.ɡo it͡ɕi̥.e] is a Japanese four-character idiom that describes a cultural concept of treasuring the unrepeatable nature of a moment. It aims to remind us that any moment we take part in can never be repeated, for no gathering can be perfectly replicated even if the same people get together in the same place again. Every moment we share with others is always unique and a once-in-a-lifetime experience, so we should treasure it.
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#hehe#seal meme#love this animal meme#seal#EDIT: OH FUCK THIS HAS OVER 1K NOTES. thats wild#2k#3k#that one clip of patrick looking under his house yelling WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE#sprout speaks#4k#5k#10k#15k#20k#25k#30k#35k#40k#45k#ok what big blog reblogged this. please god help me#50k#60k
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WE ARE SO BACK
#tmagp#tmagp 22#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#we are so back#:3#the magnus archives is a podcast distributed by rustyquill.com and licensed under a creative commons attribution non commercial sharealike#1k#2k#3k#tmagp 22 spoilers#im sorry for not tagging that earlier i thought this would get 4 likes#tmagp spoilers#4k#5k#6k
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Do you think sinners miss the night sky..?
(Please click for better quality!!)
#drag's art#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel angel dust#helluva boss stolas#(yes I know Angel is from New York and the stars probs weren't extremely visible. I just don't care LMAO)#this was meant to be. a warm up. it's been just under two hours 🙃#anyways I think they should be friends#1k#STOP WHY DID THIS BANG AJSHS????#IM GOAD EVERYONE LIKES IT?? UM. LMFAO 😭💖#1.5k#2k#2.5k#3k#3.5k#4k
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Summoned
Two teenagers summoning a being from an another dimension, what could go wrong?
Bryn was excited. Except excited didn’t even begin to cover it. He felt like he was made of pure energy, could feel sparks dancing under his skin.
He wanted to shout, to laugh, to throw himself around the room in pure ecstasy and beat his fists against the floor.
Instead he tried to contain himself, grinning from ear to ear as he moved quickly about the room in preparation.
He arranged the candles in a circle on the floor, tall black wax with a faint odour of sulphur. The wick was a dark red thread, soaked in blood for seven days before he’d painstakingly laid them in the mould and added the dark wax.
Next came the candles in the corners.
In the eastern corner stood a dark oak candlestick carved like a twisting branch with a forest green candle atop it. That was earth.
In the western corner was a sleek glass candlestick, images of crashing waves and frolicking creatures adorned it. The candle itself was a mix of blues, delicately pale at the top fading into deep navy blue darkness. That was water.
In the northern corner the candle stick was clear glass. It had been cleaned and polished to be perfectly see through, almost making the candle look like it was floating. The wax was a swirling mix of greys and cool white with a long dainty wick. That was air.
Finally in the south was his favourite, fire. This candlestick was carved from onyx, the black mineral taking the shape of flames writhing and twisting towards the sky. Clouds of smoke had been carved near the top, parting to reveal a vibrant orange candle.
Once the candles had been placed it was time to lay the sigils.
Using bone white chalk he began to paint the symbols, moving slowly and carefully.
He drew mathematically perfect circles around the black candles, holding his breathe as he slowly dragged the chalk along the floor. The lines connecting the small circles where perfectly straight, no sign of smudges or even a grain of chalk misplaced. In the centre of the candles he draw a large five pointed star.
Satisfied with his work he sat back, now came the difficult part.
He took an ornate clay pot from his collection of supplies, just outside the room, and twisted off the lid.
He was greated by the smell of blood, a thick metallic fragrance that lingered in the back of this throat. He dipped a finger in the pot and withdraw it slowly, watching the thick liquid drip slowly back into the pot.
Unable to help himself he stuck the finger in his mouth, moaning deeply as the blood coated his tongue and mixed with his saliva.
He moved to the exact centre of the room and held the pot firmly in both hands. Slowly and carefully he began to poor the blood, moving in a straight line to the northern corner of the room. Once he’d laid a thin trail of blood he stopped, using his finger to draw a line in blood down the grey and white candle.
He returned to the centre of the room and repeated his actions, this time heading to the southern corner. Once all four corners where done he was left with only a small amount of blood in the pot which he placed gently besides a black candle.
All that was left to do now was don his robe and wait for Marith.
He didn’t have to wait long, moments after he finished with the blood she came bursting in. Her eyes where wide with same excitement he felt and she was clutching a large dark tome to her body.
The tome was beautiful, bound in dark leathery skin with a large five pointed star on the cover. The black paper was gilded with gold, pure white script sprawled across the pages. Numerous enchantments and rituals written in languages not dead, just sleeping.
They locked eyes over the tome. ‘Are we really doing this?’ her face said, ‘Fuck yeah we are’ his replied. They shared one last grin filled with adolescent excitement before pulling up their hoods and moving to stand either side of the large circle he’d drawn.
As Marith began to read he started lighting the candles, bowing his head to every flame and letting the smooth tone of Marith’s voice fill his mind.
When it came time to light the candles in the corners he could feel the power building, humming around the room making the air thick and electric.
He picked a black candle from the circle and began moving to the northern corner of the room.
Merith shouted as he lit the northern candle, placing the black candle to the swirling grey and letting the fire spread. The flame took violently, glowing white and flickering urgently in some other wordly breeze they couldn’t feel. Scents he couldn’t place wafted in on gentle breezes, the smells of people and cultures long lost or not yet begun.
Merith shouted again as he lit the southern candle, a guttural sound then seemed to carry across the room and mix with the power humming in the air. The wick on the red candle seemed to explode outward, a great flame billowing out and wrapping around his arm as he pulled away. Dark smoke was billowing out of the flames and dissipating with a faint hiss when it reached the ceiling.
By the time he reached the western candle Merith was chanting at the top of her lungs, her voice over lapping with others that seemed to be spilling out of the tome itself. He held the flame to the cool blue wick, a moment of worry that the flame wouldn’t take. But then it did, a beautiful blue flame with purple edges that didn’t flicker upwards. Instead pouring like smoke down the side of the candle stick, gathering on the floor in a strange smoky puddle.
He could barely contain his excitement as he approached the eastern corner, ears buzzing with energy barely acknowledging Merith’s demented howls and guttural snarls.
As he placed the flame to the wick the candle seemed to shudder, before the wick itself began growing. It started wrapping itself around the candle stick, burning with a deep mossy green flame that flickered with yellows and deep browns. The wick was growing and twisting like a vine, the second it made it to the bottom of the candle stick it would turn and begin climbing up again. He could smell the deep damp scent of dirt coming from the flames.
The room was very much ablaze with colours and energy. His eyes darted about, barely able to take in everything.
It was happening, they where finally doing it and it was working!
He moved to stand opposite Merith, locking eyes with her and belatedly noticing he was chanting and shrieking with her. His mouth forming the words and making the sounds unconsciously.
As they chanted the tombe rose from her hands, the pages flying back and forth violently as the book floated to the middle of the room.
He felt he might spontaneously combust with excitement as the pages began glowing, the book coming to settle on the floor in the centre of the circle atop the blood.
The blood he had painted along the floor began moving, seemingly being absorbed by the book. It ran along the floor like a rapid stream before seeping into the glowing pages.
The light coming from the tome got brighter still, hurting their eyes and spilleing out from the tome towards the ceiling.
Before their eyes the light shimmered and twitched, slowly taking a strange but vaguely familiar shape.
With once last flash of blinding light, followed by a large cracking sound, everything stopped.
The energy was gone, the incredible displays of smoke and colour coming from the corners of the room stopped dead. The magic that seemed to line the air was gone and the tome sat limply on the floor, no more blinding light.
Bryn and Merith didn’t care, too busy starring in horror at the deformed creature standing over the tome.
It was unlike anything they’d ever seen, it was just… wrong.
It didn’t have enough eyes! And the eyes it did have seemed soft and wet, it’s dark black pupils surrounded by some odd coloured ring.
It’s mouth was too small, lined with strange pink flesh it was opening and closing. Making sounds they’d never heard before and showing glimpses of odd stumpy teeth.
It’s arms seemed almost normal, the same pale colour as Bryn’s own but with strange blue markings lining the inside.
It’s lower half was hideous, strange arm-like appanages wrapped in flesh and half covered by strange fabrics. A twisted parody of hands at the bottom of the long flesh tubes, small stubbed finger-like appendages wiggled grotesquely.
“It’s….. hideous.” Merith’s voice shook with fear and disgust, moving closer to him as she spoke.
Hearing her voice seemed to spark something in the creature, it moved alarmingly fast on its odd not-arms, coming to the edge of the circle and making more of the strange sounds at them. It reached a hand out towards Bryn and he noticed in horror its nails where unnaturally short and flat, disappearing horrifically into it’s own flesh.
“Send it back. I’m serous Mer, send it back.” He could hear the fear in his own voice too, making him high and nasal.
Merith was frantically flipping through the tome when the creature began to move again, pacing about inside the circle still making those sounds. It’s pale flesh seemed to be changing colour, taking on a pink tint around it’s face.
It turned out sending it back was relatively simple, they simply lit the candles in the opposite order, chanting softly as they did so.
The creature went quiet as it began to glow, looking curiously at it,s limbs as it once again grew too bright to look at.
There was a similar flash and loud cracking sound, as the light faded away there was nothing left but the tome. Still open to the page on summoning, seemingly undamaged by the whole ordeal.
Merith collapsed in an exhausted heap on the floor and he slowly lowered himself besides her.
He placed his hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles beneath her black leathery wings. Using his other hand to run his claw reassuringly through her hair.
“They did warn us that humans are terrifying.” He said gravely.
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X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (2014) dir. Bryan Singer
#filed under: homoerotic handshakes#x men days of future past#*gifs#*1k#*2k#x men#xmenedit#marveledit#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#magneto#cherik#filmedit#filmgifs#movieedit#moviegifs#dailyflicks#cinemapix#cinematv#filmtvcentral#fyeahmovies#popcultureds
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op is so real for this
#real#fall out boy#fob#pete wentz#patrick stump#take this to your grave#from under the cork tree#infinity on high#folie a deux#music#tiktok#funny#1k#2k
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The USA dying in a glue trap
(I just did my taxes)
#my art#glue trap#i made under $2k as a freelance artist and they're making me pay them $122#if you're wondering how bad it is
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John Walker in action | Thunderbolts* trailer
#john walker#us agent#wyatt russell#thunderbolts*#cara gifs#if anyone chooses violence via tags#i'm ready with the block button#john walker defense squad#2k always#a good dude under too much pressure with too much trauma
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BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER (2022) dir. Ryan Coogler
#black panther: wakanda forever#marveledit#mcuedit#tenoch huerta#wakanda forever#namor#shuri#dailyflicks#cinematv#*bell.gifs#belltries#all those years under the sea made him funny hjshd#1k#2k
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if you must hate Gaius at least do it for the right reason (gaslighting Morgana)
#yeah I know I know– the great purge#I think it's a bit unfair to expect him to have single-handedly stopped a murderous tyrant tbh#he did what he had to do to survive#and he carried the guilt of that#also let's not pretend merlin is completely innocent either#he threw the entire magic community under the bus to save arthur's skin#and he also gets accused of being a traitor of his kind a few times#(which I find very interesting. like as a concept)#but yeah gaslighting morgana was bad#gaius#merlin#1k#2k
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Atypical Occurrence [2/?]
hello!! 10 drafts and (exactly) 3 months later, I am finally back with part 2 of Atypical Occurrence 😭 You can read part 1 here!
This chapter is a little personal to me. I don't tend to linger on writing scenes like this (in part because they are a little difficult for me), so it took awhile to hammer out the dynamic I wanted. That said, here it is at long last!!
This is an OC fic ft. Vincent and Yves. Here is a list of everything I’ve written for these two! :)
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Summary: Vincent shows up late to a meeting. It just goes downhill from there. (ft. fake dating, the flu, a house visit, and certain revelations)
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There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment. Yves picks out ingredients for chicken soup, two different kinds of cold and flu medicine, a new pack of cough drops, a few boxes of tissues, a small thermometer. All in all, it’s less than a thirty minute excursion—something he’s done many times before in uni, where everyone seemed to catch something in the middle of exam season, and a house visit was just a short walk away.
Chicken noodle soup isn’t difficult. He’s made it a hundred times—he’s experimented with a dozen different variations of it. He puts the groceries in the fridge, washes the vegetables, and gets to work.
While the soup cooks, he half watches it, half busies himself with cleaning the apartment—loading up the dishwasher and hand washing everything that doesn’t fit, stocking the fridge and the medicine cabinet with the groceries he’s gotten, vacuuming the floors with a vacuum cleaner he finds tucked behind the fridge.
Then he shreds the chicken, chops a round of fresh vegetables to add to the broth, and waits.
It’s comfortably quiet. Outside, rain drums steadily on the windowpane. It shows no signs of stopping soon. It’s dark enough outside—the sun fully set, the clouds heavy overhead—that the lit interior of the apartment kitchen feels like a warm reprieve.
Yves likes cooking. He doesn’t actively enjoy doing chores, but there’s something comforting to how mindless they are. It’s an appreciated distraction.
The rain outside is loud enough that he doesn’t hear the footsteps, approaching, until Vincent clears his throat from behind him.
Yves jumps.
“You’re up,” he says, spinning on his heels to face him. Vincent looks a little worse for the wear—his hair a little messy, his shirt slightly rumpled from sleep, his glasses perched haphazardly in place.
Yves watches him take everything in—the pot on the stove, the chopping board set out on the counter, the empty paper bags from the grocery run flattened and stacked into neat rectangles.
“And you’re still here,” Vincent says.
“I made soup,” Yves says, by way of explanation. “It’s chicken noodle. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for trying something new.” He reaches over to lift the lid off of the pot of soup. Steam wafts up from it, carrying with it the faint scent of the aromatics he’d added—thyme, bay leaf, garlic, peppercorns. “Actually, you picked a good time to wake up. I just added in the noodles, so it’s almost done.”
Vincent eyes the pot, his expression unreadable. “Did you leave to get groceries?”
“Earlier, yeah. You weren’t kidding about your fridge being empty.”
Vincent frowns. “I can pay you back. Did you keep the receipt?”
In truth, the price of the groceries is the last thing on Yves’s mind right now. He waves a hand. “Don’t worry about it.”
“It must have taken a long time.”
“Soup is pretty forgiving. You just toss everything into a pot of boiling water and wait. It’s barely any work at all.”
Vincent stares at him for a moment longer. Then he says: “That’s an oversimplification.”
“Not really. Besides, I enjoy cooking,” Yves says. “Thanks for letting me use your kitchen—though, technically, I guess I’m asking forgiveness instead of permission. I’ll clean everything up, by the way.” He’s done dishes along the way, so there isn’t really much to do besides rinse off whatever’s left, load up the dishwasher, and store whatever’s left of the soup in the fridge.
“You don’t have to,” Vincent says, before turning into his elbow with a few harsh, grating coughs. “I can clean up. It’s my apartment.”
“If you think I’m letting you do household chores while you have a fever—”
“It’s not that high,” Vincent interrupts, perhaps a little stubbornly. Yves lets out a disbelieving laugh. He leans over the counter, shifts his weight forwards on his feet to press the back of his hand to Vincent’s forehead.
It’s concerningly hot, still, which isn’t a surprise. Though perhaps the way Vincent blinks, a little tiredly, and leans forward into Yves’s hand is a giveaway on its own.
“It’s definitely over a hundred,” Yves says, withdrawing his hand. “If you don’t believe me, I’ll have you know that I bought a thermometer.”
For a moment, Vincent looks surprised. Then he sighs. “That was an unnecessary purchase.”
“Are you admitting that I’m right?”
Vincent just frowns at him, which—Yves notes—isn’t exactly a denial. “Fever or not, there’s not much I can do except sleep it off.”
“You can go back to sleep after you’ve had something to eat,” Yves says. “What was it that you said? That you haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday?”
“...You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question.
Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.
—
In between the hallway and Vincent’s kitchen is a small dining area, furnished with a high table and two high chairs. Yves waits until the noodles are cooked just enough. Then he turns off the stove, unrolls a placemat to lay out on the dining table, and carries the pot over.
He gets everything he needs: two bowls, two spoons, some of the fresh parsley he’d chopped earlier, for garnish—and lays it all out.
“I can help,” Vincent says, for maybe the third time.
He’s seated on one of the chairs, which Yves had pointedly pulled out for him, looking like he’s perhaps a few seconds away from getting out of his seat and doing everything himself. It’s just like Vincent, Yves thinks, to offer to help—even at work, aside from all the work he takes on, it feels like he’s always finding some way or other to be useful.
Yves says, “When you’re not running a fever, you can ask me again.”
When everything is laid out, he pulls up a chair for himself, so he can sit across from Vincent—who is still perched on his seat, though he looks a little less like he wants to get out of it. “You didn’t have to wait for me,” Yves says.
Vincent blinks at him. “It would have been rude to get started on my own.”
“Nonsense,” Yves says. “I made it for you.”
He takes a bite. The soup tastes fine. That is, it tastes the same as every other time he’s made it—light and comforting. It’s just one of those recipes Yves thinks he can make in his sleep. Nothing about it is particularly inventive. Still, he hasn’t cooked for Vincent before—not formally, at least, other than the dish he’d bought to Joel’s potluck—so it’s a little nerve-wracking to watch Vincent take a bite.
It’s worse, still, to watch his eyes widen by a fraction. For a moment, Yves wonders if he’s done something wrong—if perhaps, it isn’t to Vincent’s taste, after all. He sets his spoon down. “Is it okay?”
“It’s really good,” Vincent says. “I can see why Mikhail said what he said.”
“What?”
“That your cooking was half the reason why he roomed with you.”
Yves laughs. “So does that mean you’ll forgive me for trespassing?”
Vincent smiles back at him. “I’ll consider it.” Now, with his glasses off, Yves can see his eyes a little more clearly—they’re slightly red-rimmed, his eyelashes long and dark, his cheeks flushed brighter with fever. There’s a little crease at the edge of his eyes which shows up when he smiles.
Yves is caught off guard, for a moment. The tightness in his chest is nothing, he tells himself. Certainly not a crush that he shouldn’t be allowed to have.
A crush. That’s new, too. It’s ironic, considering the terms of their fake relationship. He thinks it’s probably supposed to make him better at this—what better way to feign romantic interest than to not have his feelings be so fake, after all?—but instead, he finds himself at an uncharacteristic loss for words, finds himself stumbling over the most basic of pleasantries.
Of course, he has no intention of acting on his feelings. Vincent is attractive, yes—but he’s also considerate, and attentive, and hardworking enough to go early and stay late, to take on work he doesn’t get credit for. He’s thoughtful enough to entertain Yves’s friends, to have lunch with Yves’s siblings, to fly all the way to France to meet Yves’s family.
But all of that is inconsequential. None of it is going to amount to anything, because Yves knows how to keep his distance. Because Yves needs this—the perks of their fake relationship—more than he needs to indulge in any inconvenient crush. Because he knows enough to know how things would turn out if he were to say something.
That’s the thing. Vincent isn’t cruel. It’s for that reason, precisely, that Yves knows that he’d drop this arrangement immediately if he knew. Vincent would never string him along knowingly, and that’s what makes this so much worse—Yves has gone and gotten himself stupidly attached.
Now that they’re sitting across from each other, in Vincent’s apartment, having dinner, Yves thinks—a little selfishly, perhaps—that this is the best that he can ask for. It is all that he can ask for. Far better to keep up the pretense entirely, far better to pretend that this is all just for show. When they put an end to this arrangement—someday, inevitably—Yves will thank Vincent for everything, and then they’ll go their separate ways. He already knows how it will go. There is no need to complicate things.
It’s quiet, for some time. Yves finishes his bowl first, heads over to the sink to rinse it off, and positions it neatly in the lowest compartment of the dishwasher. When he gets back, Vincent is spooning more soup into his bowl. Yves allows himself to feel a little relieved to see that he has an appetite.
“It’s been awhile,” Vincent says, after some time. “Since anyone’s done this for me.”
“Made you chicken soup?” Yves says, a little puzzled. “If you want the recipe, I can give it to you. I make it all the time.”
“No,” Vincent says. His expression is unparseable. “Just— since anyone’s looked after me, in general.”
“Oh.” Yves finds his mind is spinning. “How long have you been living alone?”
“Since university. I had suitemates, in my second year. Then I got an apartment of my own.”
“Because you like the privacy?”
“It was just simplest.”
Yves thinks back to his years, rooming with Mikhail—the conversations they’d have to have to figure out groceries, to alternate cooking dinner and doing dishes, to manage transportation. He has a studio apartment now, too, but he’s over at his neighbors’ house frequently enough, or otherwise at home with Leon and Victoire for dinner, so it doesn’t really get lonely.
“You have a pretty spacious kitchen,” he says. “I hope you don’t mind that I used your pots and pans. I’ll wash them, I swear.”
Vincent takes in a small, sharp breath. Yves looks up just in time to see him twist away from the table, tenting his hands over his nose and mouth.
“hhIHh’IIKTS-HHuhh-!”
“Bless you!” Yves exclaims. Judging by the way Vincent keeps his hands raised over his face, he assumes that there are going to be more. He rises from his seat, heads back into the kitchen in search for—ah. Six boxes of tissue boxes, stacked neatly into a block. He tears off the thin plastic film around them, removes a box from the pile, and pulls off the tab.
When he gets back to the dining table, Vincent is ducking into steepled hands with another—
“hhih’GKKT-SHHh-uuUh! hh’DDZSChh-HHuh! snf-Snf-! hhh… Hh… hh-HH-hh’yIIDDzsSHH-hHUH-!!”
The sneezes seem to scrape painfully against his throat, for the way he winces in their aftermath. He twists away from Yves to cough lightly, after, into his shoulder, his eyes watering. “Bless you!” Yves pushes the tissue box towards him. “Here.”
Vincent takes a tissue from the box, blows his nose quietly. When he emerges, lowering the tissue from his face, his eyes are a little watery. He eyes the tissue box. “Did you buy these earlier, too?”
“I did,” Yves says. “I picked up some medicine, too. I didn’t know what flavor you wanted, so I got a couple different kinds. And some other stuff—your fridge was getting pretty empty, by the way—in case you needed it.”
Vincent lifts his head to study him, as if there’s something he’s trying to understand. Finally, he says, “Do you do this for all of your friends?”
“What?”
Vincent frowns, as if the subject matter should be obvious. “Cook for them. Get groceries. Clean their apartment.”
“Sometimes,” Yves says. He’s certainly no stranger to stopping by to help—sometimes with homemade soup, or tea packed tightly in a thermos, or something else. Then again, that was easier to do back in uni, when everyone lived within a twenty minute radius. “It depends on what they need.”
“So this is just a Yves thing.”
“What? Showing consideration for my friends?”
“Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.”
“I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.”
“Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.”
Yves supposes this is true.
“Do you want me to go?” he asks.
Vincent says, “It’s late. I assume you have things to get home to.”
“That’s not what I asked,” Yves says.
Vincent says nothing to that.
But Yves gets the message, even without him saying it. If Vincent is the type of person who prefers to be alone when sick, Yves won’t take it personally. He doesn’t want to overstay his welcome—arguably, he’s already stayed for much longer than Vincent had invited him to.
There’s leftover soup in the fridge—enough to last Vincent a couple days, hopefully through the worst of this—and Vincent’s apartment is reasonably well-stocked now. He has something to take if his fever gets any higher; he has all the basic supplies Yves could think of off the top of his head.
And Vincent is a lot of things, but he isn’t irresponsible. He’s shown himself to be self-sufficient more times than Yves can count. There’s no reason why Yves should have to stay and look after him for any longer—no reason, perhaps, aside from the fact that seeing Vincent ill has left him more worried than he’d like to admit.
“Okay,” he says. “I’ll go. But at least let me clean up first.”
He does dishes, leaves the cutting boards and the pot out to dry on the drying rack, transfers the soup to smaller glass containers to store it in the fridge. He returns the vacuum cleaner to the storage closet he found it in. Then, as promised, he gathers his things—not much, just his phone and his car keys—and heads toward the front door.
Vincent follows him to the door, presumably to lock it after he leaves.
Yves steps outside, lingers for just a moment on the doorstep. The car is parked close enough that he hadn’t bothered to grab his umbrella, but now it’s dark out, and it’s raining just as hard.
“I left new cough drops on the kitchen countertop,” Yves says, biding his time under the overhang until he inevitably has to get rained on. “The medicine’s in your bathroom, behind the mirror, with the thermometer. Everything else is either on the counter or in the fridge. Don’t come back to work until your fever’s completely—”
It happens in a moment: Vincent stumbles. Yves is looking at him, which means he sees the exact moment when it happens. Yves doesn’t think, just reacts—he reaches out to grab his arm to keep him from falling entirely.
“Woah,” he says, steadying him. “Are you—”
Vincent’s hand is concerningly warm, even through the fabric of his sleeve. For a moment, he leans into Yves’s touch, though this seems less intentional as it is inevitable. He’s breathing heavily, his eyes tightly shut, his shoulders rising and falling not as soundlessly as usual.
Yves swallows past the alarm he feels percolating in his chest. Had he been about to pass out? Just how high is his fever right now? “Vincent—”
“Sorry,” Vincent manages, through gritted teeth. He makes an effort to regain his balance, to move away. He sways on his feet, and Yves feels the panic in his chest rise anew.
He reaches up and slings an arm around his waist. “Hey,” he says, trying for reassuring. “I’ve got you.”
Vincent doesn’t say anything, to that. He just stands there, perfectly still, his eyebrows drawn together, his shoulders a little stiff under Yves’s touch.
Without letting go of him, Yves shuts the front door gingerly behind him, toes his shoes off at the door again. “I think it would be best if you laid down,” he says. “Do you think you can walk?”
Vincent nods, slowly. Yves tracks the bob of his throat as he swallows.
“Sorry,” Vincent says, again. “I… didn’t expect it to be an issue.”
He’s frowning, hard, as if he’s upset with himself, though Yves can’t quite piece apart why he’d have reason to be. “Hey, no apologizing,” Yves says. “Save your energy for walking.”
Vincent seems to understand that their current arrangement will not change until he’s in bed, so he lets Yves steer him towards the bedroom. It’s a short walk—down the hallway and then off to the left—but Yves spends half of it distracted by how warm Vincent is. Like this, he practically radiates heat.
It’s not until Vincent is settled on his bed, the blankets pulled loosely over him, that Yves allows himself to let go.
Truthfully, the last thing he wants to do right now is leave. But it isn’t about what he wants, and perhaps Vincent would sleep better if he did.
“Are you warm enough?” Yves asks. The words feel heavy on his tongue.
A nod.
“Do you need me to get you anything else?”
Vincent shakes his head.
“Okay,” Yves says. “I guess I shouldn’t overstay my welcome, then.”
Vincent will be fine, he tells himself. At the end of the day, they are only coworkers, and Vincent is one of the most independent people he knows. If Vincent doesn’t want him here, the best Yves can do is comply with his wishes. He straightens. “Text me if you need anything, I mean it.”
He lets go of the blanket, rises to his feet. Only, then—
There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging.
Yves goes very still.
When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”
Yves’s heart aches. He settles back at the edge of the bed, reaches out a hand, settles it gently at the edge of Vincent’s forehead. At the physical contact, Vincent’s breath catches.
And for a second, Yves wonders if he’s made a mistake—if maybe Vincent doesn’t want to be touched, right now. If he’s misread the situation; if Vincent wants him to go, after all. He opens his mouth to apologize.
But then Vincent shuts his eyes. The tenseness to his expression eases, almost imperceptibly, his eyebrows unfurrowing. Oh, Yves realizes. His head must hurt—Yves suspected as much—but if he’s not mistaken, the expression on Vincent’s face right now is…
Relief. Cautiously, Yves traces his fingertips lightly over the edge of Vincent’s temple, combs them slowly through his hair. Vincent’s eyes stay shut, but the furrow to his eyebrows loosens, and his jaw unclenches, just a bit. The change is minute, almost imperceptible. If Yves weren’t paying close attention, he might’ve missed it.
As if he could pay attention to anything else, right now.
Tentatively, Yves cards his fingers through Vincent’s hair, traces slow circles into his scalp, slowly, carefully. He does it until the heartbeat he feels thrumming under his fingertips—quick and erratic—slows. Until Vincent’s breathing evens out, until the hurt in his expression dulls. Until the tension in his shoulders eases.
By the time he finally withdraws his hand, Vincent is fast asleep. Yves fetches a new glass of water for his nightstand, changes out the plastic bag lining the trash can, and lines the cough drops and medicine up at the edge of Vincent’s desk. He flips through folder 2-A, assessing.
Then he heads back out to his car to get his laptop, and gets to work.
—
He doesn’t remember falling asleep.
But when he wakes at Vincent’s desk, it’s to an unpleasant ache in his neck that spreads laterally into his shoulders—probably from sleeping with his head pillowed awkwardly against his arms. He lifts his head.
Behind him, there’s a weak, uncertain breath, and then the sort of cough that makes Yves’s chest hurt in sympathy. It sounds wrong, somehow—too quiet, for its proximity. Muffled.
It’s dark inside, aside from the faint glow of Vincent’s digital alarm clock, the pale green digits cutting into the black. He hears the rustling of blankets, followed by another short, painful intake of breath.
The sneeze that follows is stifled into something. Even stifled, it sounds uncharacteristically harsh—all force, pinched off into a short, muffled outburst which sounds barely relieving, at best.
“hH’ih’iNNGKkk-t!”
Yves blinks. Then he leans over the desk to flick on the lamp. Dull golden light suffuses the desk, bright enough to cast Vincent in form and graying color.
“Are you okay?”
At the light, Vincent’s eyes widen. He looks—stricken, somehow. Then his expression shutters, and he frowns. “Did I—” he stops to cough again into his fist. It sounds as though each breath he’s taking in is an effort of its own, shallow and unsatisfying. When he speaks again, his voice sounds noticeably hoarser. “—Did I wake you?”
Yves opens his mouth to respond. Before he can think up a convincing excuse, Vincent shakes his head dejectedly, as if he already knows the answer.
“Sorry,” he says. “I was - cough, cough - tryidg to be quiet.”
Quiet. As to not wake Yves, presumably. The revelation causes an ache to settle somewhere deep inside of him, heavy and inexorable. Yves is more than certain that this flu is already miserable enough on its own, even without the added challenge of having to be quiet about it. He wants to say, do you really think that’s what matters to me? He wants to ask, how long have you been up dealing with this on your own?
“You don’t have to be quiet,” is all he manages, instead. It’s a miracle that his voice manages to come out as evenly as it does.
Vincent looks like he’s about to say something. But before he has a chance to, he twists away to cough harshly into his shoulder. Now that he doesn’t make an attempt to muffle the coughing fit, Yves can hear just how harsh it sounds.
It’s the kind of coughing fit that just sounds exhausting—forceful enough to leave tears brimming at the edges of his eyelashes, his breaths coming in shallowly.
“Can I get you anything?” Yves asks, when Vincent is done coughing.
Vincent just looks back at him, unmoving. In the dim light of the desk lamp, he looks perhaps more exhausted than Yves has ever seen him—really, he looks as though he hasn’t slept at all. He’s seated with his back against the headboard with a blanket pulled around his shoulders. One of his hands is clenched loosely around it, pinning the corners in place.
“Tea?” Yves offers, because it’s better than saying nothing. “Water, cough drops. A cold compress?” Vincent doesn’t say anything, but Yves thinks, a little helplessly, that there must be something he can do. “Extra blankets? Tissues? Ibuprofen?”
“Water… would be nice,” Vincent says, as if it takes a lot out of him to admit it. Yves blinks, surprised—he had half expected no answer at all. At Yves’s split second of hesitation, Vincent’s frown deepens, his grip around the blankets tightening slightly. “...If it’s not too much trouble.”
Yves has never gotten out of his seat faster. “Of course,” he says. “I’ll be right back.” he swipes the empty glass from the nightstand and heads out into the hallway.
It’s dark. There aren’t many windows in the hallway to let in light from outside, but once he gets to the dining room, it gets easier to see. Judging by how dark it is outside, there are probably a few hours left until sunrise. It’s still early, then. Early enough that it’s quiet, around them—no traffic out on the streets, save for the occasional car, headed to who-knows-where; no neighbors going about their early morning routines; just the steady trickle of rain on the windowsill. Yves rinses the cup out in the sink, shakes it dry, and fills it again.
When he makes it back to the bedroom, it’s unusually quiet. Vincent is still sitting at the edge of his bed, looking like he hasn’t moved at all since Yves left the room.
Yves crosses the room to hand him the glass. Vincent blinks up at him, a little blearily.
“I got you water,” Yves says, unnecessarily.
Vincent takes the glass from him with both hands, as if he doesn’t quite trust himself to hold it with just one. Yves looks away as he drinks.
When Vincent lowers the glass at last, Yves takes it from him and sets it back into place onto the bedside table. He straightens, turns to face Vincent again. “Any better now?”
Vincent nods. It’s quiet, for a moment. Outside, the rain has nearly stopped—the room is soundless, aside from the thin whirring of the air conditioning. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.”
Yves hums. “To be honest, I didn’t either.” He stifles a yawn into one hand—he’s still a little tired. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“You must be tired,” Vincent frowns, looking him over. “You came right from a full day of work to check on me. Does your neck hurt?”
“What?”
Vincent inclines his head towards his desk. “I’ve fallen asleep there before. It’s not very comfortable.”
Yves thinks he shouldn’t be surprised, at this point, that Vincent has picked up on something so subtle. “It’s not that bad,” he says, reaching up with a hand to massage his neck. “My neck would probably be sorer if I’d slept through the whole night. I should thank you for waking me.”
“You could’ve taken the couch instead,” Vincent says, a little disapprovingly. “It would probably have been wiser.”
“I wanted to be here so I could keep an eye on you,” Yves says, because it’s true. “Besides, you sat in a chair while I slept in France. That can’t have been comfortable either.”
“It’s not just about that. You—” Vincent raises a hand up to his face, ducks into his wrist for a sudden: “hh-! hhiH’GKT-sSHuh! snf-!” He sniffles, then presses the wrist closer to his face, his expression shuttering. “Hh… hh’IIDDZshH’Uhh-!”
“Bless you!” Yves says, startled.
Vincent blinks, a little teary-eyed, turning over his shoulder to muffle a few harsh coughs into his wrist. “You shouldn’t have slept so close to me. I really don’t want you to catch this.”
He’s frowning, as if it really is a big deal. As if even now, even shivering and feverish, it’s somehow Yves that he’s more worried about right now.
Yves isn’t particularly concerned about that—he has no shortage of sick time to take off of work, in any case. If he does manage to catch this from Vincent, he’ll just stock up on essentials before the worst of it hits. It would be nothing he hasn’t done before. Still, Vincent looks so—well, so tornby the mere possibility of it that Yves wants to say something to comfort him.
“How about this?” he says. “If you’re so worried about it, you can buy me cough drops next time I come down with something, deal? Then we’ll be even.”
Vincent’s eyebrows furrow. “That’s a terrible deal for you.”
“I’ll get sick at some point in my life, anyways,” Yves says, with a shrug. “If this means I get free cough drops out of it, I’d say it’s a win.”
He moves the desk chair over so he can sit down at the edge of Vincent’s bed. Vincent watches him, uncertain. He looks like he’s resisting the urge to say something—to tell Yves to move further away, probably.
“Relax,” Yves says, reflexively. “It’ll be fine, seriously. I know what I signed up for.”
He leans forward, presses the back of his hand against Vincent’s forehead. Vincent closes his eyes. A slight tremor passes through his shoulders at the contact, but aside from that, he stays perfectly still.
“Your fever’s worse than before,” Yves says, withdrawing his hand.
“It’s not.” Vincent’s eyes are still shut. “The temperature is just higher because it’s night time.”
The suggestion is so far from comforting that Yves almost laughs. “You know,” he says, “that’s not very reassuring.” The blanket around Vincent’s shoulders starts to slip, so Yves reaches over and snags an edge of it, fluffs the whole thing outwards to lay it neatly around Vincent’s shoulders, like a cloak. Secures it with a loose knot. “Are you feeling any better than before?”
Vincent does open his eyes, now. He looks as though he’s trying hard to figure out how acceptably he can lie. “I…”
“You can be honest.”
Vincent’s jaw clenches. He reaches up with one hand, his fingers curling around the blanket Yves set down around him.
“My head feels heavy,” he says. He screws his eyes shut, his eyebrows furrowing. “And my chest hurts.” He lets out a short, frustrated breath, as if every sentence is a new and difficult admission. “I’m… not used to getting sick like this.”
Yves’s hands still. “Like what?”
“In any way that would necessitate taking time off from work,” Vincent says, looking away. The discomfort sits, plainly and indisputably, in the way he holds himself—his shoulders stiff, his jaw clenched—everything a little too tense, despite his exhaustion.
Yves stares at him for a moment, considering. In the end, it’s the small, impulsive thought that wins out.
He takes a seat at the edge of the bed, next to Vincent. The mattress dips under his weight.
Vincent has always been taller than him, but sitting down like this, they nearly see eye to eye. It’s a risk, of course, to offer this. He and Vincent haven’t been physically intimate outside of the times where they’ve had to prove their relationship to an audience. But when he thinks back to how Vincent reacted to Yves feeling his forehead, or Yves carding his hands through his hair—if he hasn’t misread, it almost feels like—
Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”
For a moment, Vincent stays perfectly still. Yves has five seconds to overthink all of his actions over the past twenty four hours.
Then Vincent inches closer, ever so slightly, to lean his head on Yves’s shoulder.
Yves curls his arms around him. There’s the slightest hitch in Vincent’s breath, at the contact. Then the stiffness seeps out of his shoulders, and he presses a little closer—as if he’s allowed himself permission, at last, to let go.
His whole body is concerningly warm. “You’re burning up,” Yves says, softly. He reaches up with one hand to run his fingers through Vincent’s hair.
“...I figured,” Vincent says. The next breath he takes comes in a little shakily. “Whoever gave you the review was right. You are a good hugger.”
Yves laughs, a little surprised. “Careful. You’re going to inflate my ego if you keep talking.”
“I can’t help it if it’s true.”
Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.
Would dating Vincent be like this? Would this kind of exchange be given and received as easily as anything? Yves wills himself not to think about it. This is nothing, he tells himself, but a simple offering of comfort between friends. To think otherwise would be disingenuous.
They stay like that for some time. Time slows, or perhaps it expands or collapses—really, Yves would be none the wiser. The whir of the ceiling fan and the light rain on the rooftop a constant. When Vincent pulls away at last, it’s to turn sharply off to the side to muffle a sneeze into his sleeve.
“Hh-! hhIH’IIDZsSHM-FF! snf-!”
“Bless you,” Yves says, blinking. The sudden absence of warmth is a little jarring. But Vincent isn’t done.
His eyebrows draw together, and he ducks tighter into his elbow, his shoulders jerking forward. “hHIH’iiGKKTsSHH—! Sorry, I— Ihh-! hHHh’DZZSSCHh—uH-!”
“Bless you again,” Yves says, reaching past him to hand over the box of tissues on the nightstand. He holds out the box for Vincent to take.
Vincent turns away to blow his nose. When he returns, he’s a little teary eyed. The flush on the bridge of his nose hasn’t gone away.
“When I asked you to come over,” he says, “I wasn’t expecting you to stay.”
Yves blinks. “Is it so strange for me to be here?”
To that, Vincent is quiet, for a moment. Yves looks out the window, where he can see the skyline, off in the distance, the dark form of the apartment building across the streets, the street in between lit dimly with golden streetlights.
“A little,” he says. “When I was young, if I got sick, it wasn’t really a big deal.”
At Yves’s expression, he amends: “That’s not to say that my family didn’t care, because they did. No one spent too long in my room—better to not risk catching it, if they could help it—but back then, if I didn’t have much stomach room, my mom always cut fruits for me to leave on my desk. Sometimes she made ginseng tea, too.” he shuts his eyes. There’s a strange expression on his face—something a little more complicated than wistfulness.
“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows. But if I was running a fever, my brother always made sure to keep the heat on.” His lip twitches, almost imperceptibly. Then: the smallest of smiles. “Sometimes he’d stay outside my door to talk about his day. He was the class lead, back when he was in high school. It was always something inconsequential, like which of his classmates he liked and which ones he held a grudge against, and why. Almost always for the smallest reasons, like someone borrowing a pencil and forgetting to give it back, or someone tossing the ball to him in gym class.”
“Were you and your brother close?” Yves asks.
“Close is relative,” Vincent says. “I never really knew how to—inhabit his world, I guess. When I moved to the states, and when I decided to stay here, part of it was out of some sort of defiance. I didn’t want to have to follow in his footsteps, because then I could only ever be focused on doing things differently.”
He shuts his eyes. “But I felt close to him, then. When he stood outside my room and told me those stories. Even if they were things I wouldn’t have cared about had they happened to me, I guess. It’s strange how that works.”
“I think I know what you mean,” Yves says. He’s always had a good relationship with Leon and Victoire, though that doesn’t mean they’ve always seen eye to eye on things. “Sometimes it’s less about what they say, and more about the fact that they’re saying it.”
Vincent nods. “They all cared about me in their own way,” he says, at last. “I don’t think I appreciated the extent of it at the time. When you’re a kid, you tend to take everything at face value.”
“Do you regret it?” Yves asks. “What?”
“Not appreciating them more, back then.”
Vincent smiles. “I was just a kid. I suppose it’s natural that I didn’t know better.” Yves has a feeling that that statement is perhaps further reaching than Vincent is making it out to be. “I didn’t think much about it at the time.”
“Do you ever miss being part of a large household?”
“It’s peaceful on my own,” Vincent says, at last. “I usually don’t mind it. I usually have other things to worry about.”
He hasn’t asked if the information is useful to Yves, Yves realizes, a little belatedly. Back then, at Joel and Cherie’s potluck, Vincent had seemed to believe that the only way Yves could possibly be interested in him was if the information could serve their fake relationship, somehow.
The realization settles him. Perhaps Vincent has shared this because he knows Yves cares.
“Your apartment is nice,” Yves says, trying to ignore the insistent beat of his heart in his chest, which all of a sudden seems to want to make itself known. “I can see why you would like living here.”
Vincent tilts his head up towards the ceiling. “It’s not the same, of course. As home. Though that’s a given.” Yves notes the usage of the word: home. Here, instead of home, the clarifier salient, even though Vincent’s done nothing to emphasize it. Could it be that after all these years, Vincent still considers Korea to be home, for him? “When I’ve had people over, it was just for dinner. Not for…”
He looks over to Yves, now. Yves knows what he means, knows how to fill in the rest of the sentence: not for the reason you’re here, now.
“I know I’ve intruded a little,” Yves says, with a laugh.
Vincent frowns at him, his eyebrows furrowing. “I wouldn’t consider it an intrusion,” he says. “You’ve helped me a lot. I just—I’m a little embarrassed that your first time over had to be under these circumstances.”
Your first time over. Yves ignores—well, tries to ignore—the implication that this could be the first out of many. That he might have another opportunity, in the future, to swing by. Vincent hasn’t confirmed anything, and it’s not likely that their fake dating arrangement would warrant another house visit, out of the public’s eye. Yves tells himself that the warmth he feels in his chest is misplaced.
“You don’t have to worry about that. I like seeing you,” Yves says.
Vincent raises an eyebrow at him. “Even bedridden with a fever?”
Isn’t it obvious? “Of course.”
“I’ve been terrible company,” Vincent says. “And even worse of a host. I recall I fell asleep yesterday, only for you to spend two hours cleaning my apartment?”
“Vacuuming is therapeutic.”
“You said that about cooking, too,” Vincent says, narrowing his eyes. “Am I supposed to believe that you enjoy doing all household chores?”
“It’s not like you made me do them. I just wanted to be useful, and your vacuum was easy to find.”
“I’ll be sure to hide it thoroughly next time,” Vincent says, deadpan.
Yves laughs. “It’s like I said,” he says. “I like spending time with you. Even—” To steal Vincent’s words from earlier. “—bedridden with a fever.”
Vincent huffs a sigh, a little incredulously.
“Though, I promise I won’t intrude for much longer,” Yves tells him. “I’ll probably head out in the morning.” He’s almost done with the work Vincent has on his desk—he’d fallen asleep checking over one of the income statements for discrepancies. A few hours should be enough time to make sure that everything is in order. He still has work at eight—he’ll probably be a little tired for it, considering how late he’d slept, but that’s nothing new.
“I’m sorry,” Vincent says, averting his glance. He frowns down at himself, as if he really is apologetic. “You must’ve had other evening plans.”
None as important as taking care of you, Yves catches himself thinking. He can’t say things like that if he wants to keep this—well, this unfortunate recent development, i.e., his feelings for Vincent—to himself.
“It wasn’t just for you,” he says, instead.
“What?”
“I didn’t just do it for you.”
Vincent blinks at him, a little confused. “Are you going to say you get personal gratification out of seeing my apartment clean?”
“It’s like you said,” he says. “I’ve never seen you this unwell. You said this doesn’t happen often, right? When you didn’t show up at work, I…” The next admission feels a little too honest—but there’s a small, unwise part of him that wants to get it across, regardless. “I was really worried. Even though you said you had everything covered, I wanted to make sure you were fine.”
Vincent nods. “I get it. It would be an inconvenience if I were unfit to be your fake—”
“It has nothing to do with that,” Yves interrupts him. His heart hurts a little, with it. “I wanted to see that you were fine because I care about you. To be honest, I think I would’ve spent the entire night worrying if I hadn’t come.” He laughs, a little self-deprecatingly. “It’s a little selfish, I know.”
Vincent’s eyes are very wide.
“Anyways,” Yves says, with the sinking feeling that he’s said too much, “you should try to get some more sleep.” He rearranges the blankets around Vincent, a little unnecessarily, fluffs the extra pillow that’s leaned up against the headboard, and turns away. “It’s still really early. If you’re planning to be back in office next week, it would be best to keep your sleep schedule intact.”
“Yves,” Vincent says, from behind him.
“Hmm?”
“...Thank you.”
When Yves works up the courage to look over, Vincent is smiling, unreservedly, as if something Yves has said has made him very happy.
Yves’s heart stutters in his chest. Fuck.
(On second thought, it might not be so easy to live with these feelings, after all.)
—
At daybreak, Yves drives home to get changed, takes a quick shower while he’s at it, and heads off for work. He yawns through half his morning meetings, adds an extra espresso shot to the coffee he snags from the break room.
The text arrives halfway through the day, just before he’s intending to head downstairs for lunch.
V: When I asked you to bring folder 2-A, I didn’t mean for you to complete my work along with it.
Yves smiles. He’d emailed Vincent the completed work from yesterday’s late-night work session before he’d left. Vincent must’ve seen it.
Y: some genie i met told me your wish was to have your work done before the deadline
V: What are you talking about?
Y: he also told me you were very stubborn about not redistributing your assignments to anyone else Y: so you can’t blame me for taking matters into my own hands
V: Yves.
Y: feel free to check it over for errors :)
#sneeze fic#snz fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snzfic#- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -#- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (adding in my a/n under the cut)#i have a lot of thoughts about this chapter as a whole#just editing + finishing off the last 2k of this took me 12 hours T.T#(maybe unsurprisingly) emotional intimacy and caretaking are very hard for me to write;#of the fics i've posted to this blog not many of them focus on the c portion of the h/c just in general?#so this was somewhat uncharted territory for me#i hope it's not too niche to resonate w anyone else 😭🙏#yvverse#my fic#also on a lighter note. i have been looking forward to writing yves caretaking for so long 😭😭😭😭😭
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Then, on his arrival in Constantinople, after much counsel with himself, considering that he was already unequal to the amount of pressing business and believing that there was no room for delay, on the twenty-eighth of March he brought the aforesaid Valens into one of the suburbs and with the consent of all (for no one ventured to oppose) proclaimed him Augustus. Then he adorned him with the imperial insignia and put a diadem on his head, and brought him back in his own carriage, thus having indeed a lawful partner in his power, but, as the further course of our narrative will show, one who was as compliant as a subordinate. No sooner were these arrangements perfected without disturbance than both emperors were seized with violent and lingering fevers--
AM 26.4.3-4
this was one of those illustrations that was originally supposed to be a 5 page comic until I realized I don't know anything about later roman empire architecture or visuals or art or anything, so we'll revisit that later. maybe
for right now though, these two are fascinating. we have two brothers acting as one body, even becoming ill in tandem with each other, it's giving This Throne Is Cursed. like, the last time I read about emperors coming down with life threatening illnesses, it was Caligula, and that moment in his biography marked a very specific tone shift. I spent the rest of the (first) time reading about Valens and Valentinian waiting for something comparable to Caligula's reign to happen lmao (Dio 59. 8. 1-2)
and since Caligula was already on the mind, I started thinking about Tiberius: I think he would've loved these two since he had a whole thing about twin-ification and brothers and etc etc etc. ofc, Rome is both a Mouth and a Tomb, so it's going to go badly for someone/everyone eventually, but honestly I think that Valentinian and Valens were the best we could've hoped for. like it could've been so much worse
Tiberius and the Heavenly Twins, Edward Champlin
Failure of Empire: Valens and the Roman State in the Fourth Century A.D, Noel Lenski
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#(drawing hearts around valens) hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii#roman empire tag#drawing tag#every day i think about valentinian bringing his brother into this and wondering how valens felt about it#especially since the over all arc is that he's constantly just trying to tread water managing everything from six different fronts#did you ever want things to go back to how they were!!!! did you dream of simpler times!!!!!! when it was just hard work and dirt#under your nails instead of the horrible scale of empire choking you out to the very end!!!!!!!!! did you hate your brother for it#im normal about valens. btw. (<<<said by a guy who made valens his icon on his main art blog)#anyway. (claps hands together) im going to go and write about bonifacio and mabini and lucan and crassus and the pharsalia#and mabini's writings on a failed revolution and bonifacio haunting the collective memory#i gotta condense it down to a thousand words. ideally. we are rambling around at around 2k and its unwieldy#valens#valentinian I#later Roman Empire tag
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our cat broke his hip on christmas
hi, your local guy-with-a-blog is here to dox himself so his cat can walk again!
i made posts earlier as this was happening, but now that i've heard back from enough vets to get an idea of how steep this is going to be, i can't not ask for help.
its cheesy to say, but my cats are my everything. mordred, especially, spends his days basically glued to my side. he's my little shadow, and i don't know where i'd be without him.
when he woke me up to feed him at 6am on christmas morning, he was completely fine. i went back to sleep after, and when i woke up for real at 8, he was limp on the ground. when we went to move him, he howled and thrashed like we were torturing him. he ran, and we saw he wasn't using his right back leg.
many tears and an anxiety riddled 4 hour wait for our emergency vet appointment later, we were told he had a right capital physeal fracture, which basically means he snapped the ball bit of the ball joint in his hip. the vet said the best option for him is a femoral head and neck ostectomy (FHO), which'll take the broke bit of his bone out and the scar tissue will sort of just grow in the right way to replace his missing joint (cats are so weird)
its the cheapest option, and its the one with the best success rate, which is super lucky. unfortunately, its still expensive as fuck.
weve been quoted anywhere between 3.5k and 8k by vets i've contacted so far, and most need at least half as a downpayment before they'll operate. it'd take us years to cover the full cost by ourselves. so we've got to break out the big guns - a full gofundme, which will be shared with basically everyone we know, and hopefully far past that as well. carecredit can only cover so much for us, and our immediate family can't afford to lend us much. the internet is our only hope for meeting the full cost and getting mordred better
mordred's the light of my life and i can't stand to see him in pain like this. anything helps. if youre not in a financial state where you can donate, spreading the word is just as important and just as deeply appreciated.
thank you so much for getting this far.
our gofundme is here
#ive never really been so desperate for an assistance post to take off before i dont know what to tag this as#but its breaking my heart to look at him and know im so far from being able to fix him#rbs appreciated#anything appreciated even just kind words to make me feel a little less helpless#i hate living in a HCOL area i keep seeing vets in the south wholl do it for under 2k and it makes me want to cry#if i didnt think the trip would be immensely painful for him id just do it like that
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What would you say if you could say
Everything you needed to
To the one you needed to
.
I lose my voice when I look at you
Can’t make a noise though I’m trying to
Tell you all the right words
Waiting on the right words
Black Butterflies and Deja Vu - The Maine
~
A mixtape: a gift to say all the words you can’t
For my beloved Jenna @bebecas celebrating 2k
#this fits under the ‘favorite moments’ category for me#hope you love it Jenna and congrats on 2k!#and yes everyone this is the scene that won the poll#bebes2x2#sketch.art#destiel#deancas#destiel mixtape#spn fanart#destiel fanart#becauseofthebowties#tuserpris#seraphcastiel
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Now that I'm caught up with both tma and tmagp, it's time to lose myself in the sea of fanfic. As there are over 26k fics on ao3 for magnus archives, there is no feasible way for me to go through every single one of them to see which ones I'd want to read. Because of that, I'm holding out a giant basket (this post) and asking y'all to drop your faves into it. Bonus points if it's a time travel rewrite fic, something from the scotland safehouse, or cool AUs.
#also if that au is Jon raised by Jonah like Agnes was as a messiah then double bonus points. triple even.#I have my own au of that rolling around in my head and I want to see anyone else who has written about it#dndads is just under 2k currently and I started going through the tag a long while ago so I've already read all the ones I've wanted to#tma#tma podcast#the magnus archives#tma fanfic
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