#unbelievably this is not about 9-1-1 and yet. it still applies.

[kitkatpancakestack]

"omg I love found family I love the wholesomeness that's my favorite thing about a show is how it brings everyone together!!" *is racist toward characters* *is homophobic toward characters* *tells people to kill themselves* *loudly hates everyone and everything*

[redsrooftopprincess]

Pumpkin Sugar (Part 1)

Raphael x GN!Reader - Established Relationship

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️ Fem!Reader)

Based on this ask by @gornackeaterofworlds

More of a question to expand on than a detailed request, but would raph help a teacher reader grade papers?? Would he get invested in gossip on the kids??

I was zoning out and somehow thought about elementary school teacher readers, coming back to the lair with papers to grade, Donnie getting angry over the lesson plans you have to use, etc. And then, like always, raph thoughts(I am unbelievably gushy to raph x lil sweet cheery readers) Being oh so sleepy tired but still having work to do. Grading papers, getting activities printed and cut, weekly plans. I'd like to imagine he helps to get you to sleep faster, all the while listening to the venty yapping about which kids are troublemakers

Hi gornack! I hope you are feeling well. ♥️

Sorry this took so long. I want you to know that this started out as a simple fluffy fic, but Red disagreed. He wanted to make you smile.

I'm going to be splitting this into 4 parts (+ an epilogue) to make it easier to read because I accidentally went over the character limit in my notes app *twice*. I wasn't aware you could accidentally write a whole ass fic, but here we are. 😅

Special thanks to @the-cauldron-witch . The best brainstorming buddy I could honestly ask for. Could not have written this without you. 😁

"Come on, babe, please?"

You sigh, whining, "Raph..."

"I gotta head out early, you'll be asleep by the time I get back," he pleaded. He was only working a half night, but he had to leave right at sunset and head across town, so he wouldn't be home until well after 1:00 am, and you had school in the morning.

It had been a long day, and it still wasn't over yet.

You really did like your job. The kids were great, even when they misbehaved it wasn't their fault. There were just too many of them and not enough of you. You couldn't watch everybody all the time, but you still had to try. Third grade was a lot. Especially when you were managing 27 kids (you're grateful, you have colleagues managing 40+, and it's a fucking zoo).

Still, you tried to make things fun for them. Halloween is tomorrow, and you don't want to do the traditional boring "spooky" theme. So, you've decided to teach an entire class of 8-9 year olds a little bit about applied chemistry.

You were actually really excited! You'd picked up a bunch of foam pumpkins at the dollar store, which were currently being dragged in a cart behind you. You were planning on carving them into jack o'lanterns and teaching the kids how to make elephant toothpaste to ooze out of the holes. It's was going to be the most beautiful chaos, and with any luck, a memorable experience.

There was only one problem, you'd been dealing with meetings and trainings all week and unable to actually carve the damn pumpkins. Today there was an outage in part of the building, so you had to wait two hours to use the one copier available, and by the time you walked out you had zero gas left in the tank. You wanted to go home and finish your work so you could go to bed.

You reach the top of the stairs, exiting the subway at street level. The lair is literally in the opposite direction. You look south, towards your apartment.

"Please?" He asks again, his voice softening. You haven't seen him in days and you can hear in his voice that it's taking as much of a toll on him as it is you. "I'll help you with your school shit, whatever, I just... I gotta see you. Please?"

You sigh and turn around, heading north. You miss him, too.

...

He meets you at the door to the elevator, and despite your exhaustion, you can't help but smile. He had that effect. Comfort, safety, peace, love... Raphael is Home. And the moment you step inside his arms all of your tension melts away. Almost.

He picks you up in his arms and squeezes you tightly, swinging you gently back and forth as he buries his nose in your hair. He breathes you in and grins, chuckling quietly as you squeeze him back and press your face against his neck.

"What're you laughing at?" you ask, suspicious. He was way more... something... than normal... you're not entirely sure what. You raise your head with your eyes narrowed.

"Nothin'," he says, kissing you sweetly, "just happy to see you." Your eyes narrow further, but this seems to satisfy you. You kick your legs and whine and he sets you down.

Picking up the crate and carrying it casually under one arm (though, to be fair, the pumpkins are made of foam), he gestures you first into the elevator and follows behind. He takes your hand pretty much immediately, "So what're we working on?"

"Pumpkins," you sigh.

He waits a beat. Then another. "Okay... You gonna give me more than that, or..." He smirks down at you, laughing. He can't help it.

"Yeah, sorry," you laugh, "rough week." You shake your head, before looking up at him, "carving, specifically."

"Shit, why didn't you say so? I could've done the whole thing for you!" He laughs as you exit the elevator into the lower garage.

Donnie's working on the truck and you wave at him as you pass by. He gives you a bright smile and your suspicion grows. He's a bit too cheery for being elbow deep in his latest mechanical mess.

You make it to the living room and start unpacking everything. Foam pumpkins, sharpies, exacto knives, "that should be everything," you say, grabbing a gourd and sitting down on the couch. You tuck your legs up under you as Raph walks by behind, leaning down to kiss you on his way to the other side.

He only has about an hour before he needs to leave, but he spends it cuddled up next to you quietly carving pumpkins, an activity which he actually enjoys. All too soon, he's called away to his duties.

With a lingering kiss that leaves you missing him already, he's gone, and you're left with... so much work.

...

The pumpkins are taking longer than expected, and by midnight you're still not done. Mostly because, for a teacher, you really suck at learning your lesson, and you waited until the last minute. Again. And you didn't ask your boyfriend for help once you realized it was too much. Again.

Honestly, one word and he could have had this solved for you. You look over at your annual Family Pumpkin Carving Competition entries. Raph was no longer allowed to enter the contest because it wasn't fair. But he still did one because he enjoyed it. This year, it seems, he was feeling romantic.

It was a MASSIVE pumpkin almost to your shoulder. You have no idea how he even got it down here. Inside was a small table with several electric candles, illuminating the ballroom scene from Beauty and the Beast.

You set down the half-carved jack o' lantern, and sigh heavily, rubbing your eyes. You lean back on the couch, tucking your feet under you. You're just going to shut your eyes for a few seconds. You know that people always say that and they end up just falling asleep, but you really actually mean it, you'll close your eyes for a few minutes and then get back to work.

....

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo

...

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️ Fem!Reader)

[dfroza]

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures

for the 10th of October 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible

[The Book of Matthew, Chapter 18 • The Book of Judges, Chapter 11]

along with Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms with Proverbs 10 and Psalm 10 coinciding with the day of the month, accompanied by Psalm 19 for the 19th day of Astronomical Autumn, and Psalm 134 for day 284 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

A post by John Parsons:

“Many things about our salvation are beyond our comprehension, but not beyond our trust.” - Charles H. Spurgeon

====

Shalom friends. It’s that time of year again, the “High Holiday” season, and some of you might feel a bit of ambivalence about the holiday of Yom Kippur since it focuses on the ritual of purification for the sanctuary of the Temple, and this seems to have little to do with Yeshua and His sacrifice for our sins. After all, the Levitical system of worship is described in the New Covenant as “a shadow (σκιά) of the good things to come, instead of the true form (εἰκών) of these matters, and it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near” (Heb. 10:1). Since the blood of bulls and goats cannot truly take away sins (Heb. 10:3), the sacrificial system was intended to foreshadow the coming work of Messiah, who was born to die, in accordance with God’s will, and to offer his own body as a sacrifice for sin “once for all” (Heb. 10:5-10). “For by a single offering (μιᾷ γὰρ προσφορᾷ τετελείωκεν) he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified” (Heb. 10:14).

Now while it is wonderfully true that Yeshua functioned as our great High priest after the order of Malki-Tzedek by offering his blood upon the heavenly kapporet in the holy of holies “made without hands,” there still is a prophetic component to this holiday that applies to ethnic Israel regarding the prophesied End of Days. After all, the realm of “shadows” still applies in the case of unbelieving Israel, who has yet to behold the unveiled glory that awaits her... Therefore the psalmist prophetically cries out, "Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of your Name; deliver us, and atone for our sins, for the sake of your Name” (Psalm 79:9), and this refers to the hour when Israel will call upon the LORD for salvation during the End of Days, otherwise called the great Day of the LORD. This event is prefigured in the blast of the “great shofar” which will be sounded to announce Yeshua as Israel’s true Redeemer and King. Indeed, our Messiah will one day return to Israel, cleanse her Temple, restore her to Himself, and set up His glorious kingdom.

Since prophetically speaking Yom Kippur signifies ethic Israel's atonement secured through Yeshua's sacrificial avodah as Israel's true High Priest and King, there is still a sense of longing and affliction connected to this holiday that will not be removed until finally "all Israel is saved" (Rom. 11:26). So, on the one hand we celebrate Yom Kippur because it acknowledges Yeshua as our High Priest of the New Covenant, but on the other hand, we "have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in our hearts" for the redemption of the Jewish people and the atonement of their sins (Rom. 9:1-5; 10:1-4; 11:1-2, 11-15, 25-27). In the meantime, we are in a period of "mysterious grace" wherein we have opportunity to offer the terms of the New Covenant to people of every nation, tribe and tongue. After the "fullness of the Gentiles" is come in, however, God will turn His full attention to fulfilling His promises given to ethnic Israel. May that great Day of the LORD come soon, chaverim...

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Psalm 79:9 reading:

Hebrew page:

10.9.24 • Facebook

from Today’s email by Israel365

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

[jmblyajones]

Eagles: The Bomb 3x7

What is about to go down right now…

1. I wouldn’t mind having that scooby doo van myself. the color is beautiful!

2. Oh these dudes are lying to this boy. Their faces didn’t look like that piece was blowing anyone anywhere chile… 🤣

Sam is just adorable to me btw and let me just say.. edges LAID

3. I would be remiss if I didn’t say that Elias breathing all hard like that was nice to look at…

Elias says that it would have been good to know that Klara was the new sponsor.. would it though? would it really? You know what would be really funny is if Mats convinced Elias to meet up with Klara so she wouldn’t dismantle the eagles? 😂 lmao welp…

Mats are you pimping out your son and masking the overall meet as “closure”? sir bye! And Elias standing up for Ludde is so cute too. They have deeeefinetly come a long way. Love to see it.

4. Oh damn Felicia… And this is pre the article coming out 🤦🏾‍♀️

5. Amie and Elias are really making walks their thing? Mkay I see y’all.

AMIE IS SETTING UP THE DATE????? SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!! AMIE IS GONNA COOK ELIAS DINNER?? YESS MAAM!!

Elias what are you talking about? Stand Klara up tf?!? The move is clear!

Amie’s whole demeanor changed when he said Klara. oh shit, this got sad real quick 😂

(I like that towards the end of the convo, it was kind of Amie’s way of figuring out if Elias still had feelings for Klara or want to get back with her)

6. I know Ludde did not just apply to ONE school…

Also, while he keeps saying “blah blah blah” Andreas hasn’t told not one lie yet. Your ass is choosing not to communicate and it’s manifesting into ugliness. You literally broke up with Felicia instead of telling her about London and then call her out in front of the whole class.

Have I ever mentioned how I just love Andreas. We see each other forreal.

7. OH MY GOSH! Amie is sneaking around Petra’s drawers. She gone really find something she’s not meant to see 🥴

8. Why did Klara even move away?? Wait, is she apologizing and trying to get back with Elias? What the hell 😂

Was Elias not supposed to bring up Eagles? Ma’am…. you tell him to go to hell then when you have the chance to help save the team that he plays on from disassembling, you don’t… what are you expecting like tf??

I KNOW THATS RIGHT ELIAS! Set that girl straight because she must have forgotten. See this response of his is what I wanted in season 2 but i’ll take it now.

9. I have super chills right now. What is happening right now…

Who is the real sex addict in this family?? I fucking knew it! Mats is really yelling at Felicia like he wasn’t sleeping with mad women??? And as much as I wish Felicia didn’t tell the family’s private info to Jack, Jack fooled everyone. He is gutter trash.

I’m at a mix of believing Mats threw money around for Elias to make it in the beginning. Someone like Mats only really needs name rec but “donations” can definitely help persuade some folks.

People have really bastardized Felicia’s trust throughout the years and I do feel really bad for her. And I would like/would’ve liked to see Felicia with a girl without it being tied to drugs. I doubt we will but 🤷🏾‍♀️

This is really something they should have brought their family lawyer in on? I assume they have one…

Okay, now Jack is just straight lying. He really lied and said Ludde was an abuser… and the interviewer just went with it?? This is so unbelievably foul!

MATS IF YOU DONT BACK OUT FELICIA’S FACE RIGHT NOW!

This man is a joke!! Because he couldn’t keep it in his pants he wants to go and blame his daughter and call HER stupid?? Naurr, we gotta fight.

And Lelia hopping on the hate train??? Girl if you don’t leave and go back to your boy toy you have contributed NOTHING to this conversation.

She really fooled me acting like she wanted to get Felicia into rehab or something.

10. I said from the beginning, calm before the storm… this ending with Felicia is giving very Ellie Nash in DGH. Hopefully that car that stopped will come in to play next drop? I am so curious if that is the case or not.

[thegayhimbo]

I saw your reblog about Alcide, if you don't mind answering what are your personal thoughts on him?

Hi there. Sorry for the wait on this. I actually thought this was going to be a simple answer, but I realize there's a lot I wanted to say about the character in relation to how the fandom perceives him as opposed to how he actually comes off onscreen.

When I first saw the show, my feelings about Alcide ranged from okay at best to indifferent at worst. I didn't hate him, but I didn't care for him. He wasn't my favorite character on the show, and I found most of his story (and the werewolf plots) to be boring. I was actually surprised when I came online and found out he had a following with certain fans.

Upon rewatch, I'm still mostly indifferent to Alcide, but I lean a little more towards mildly disliking him now. And a lot of that has to do with how the fandom (especially people on Reddit) treat him vs how he actually comes across in the books and on the show.

I’ll start off by saying that I never liked Alcide in the books. He was an asshole, and most of the time he used Sookie to advance his position in the werewolf pack. What little relationship he had with Sookie felt one-sided on his part. It also doesn’t help that he unfairly blamed Sookie for stuff that was out of her control (like the death of Debbie in the books or the death of his father.) His attraction to Debbie in the books is also something that doesn’t reflect well on him. Contrary to the show’s portrayal, Debbie in the books was written as a one-dimensional psychopath with a jealous streak and no redeeming qualities. She’s basically a cartoon villain with no depth to her. The result is it’s hard to understand why Alcide got into a relationship with her in the first place, and it makes it look like he was just thinking with his dick. In other words, Book Alcide was nothing to brag about.

As for the show, like I said, I’m mostly apathetic to Alcide’s character (with a few exceptions that I will talk about in a minute) and I thought he was pointless. I know he was suppose to be a vehicle to introduce Sookie to the world of werewolves, but the way that was executed didn’t work. Common consensus in the fandom seems to be that the werewolf plots in both the books and the show were tedious and forgettable. It’s ironic because I know there are Alcide fans out there, but whenever I’ve asked them about what they thought of the werewolf stories, their responses range from “I don’t remember them” to “They were bad.” A lot of fans didn’t care for them. They could have been cut from the show without affecting the main story. That’s a problem because Alcide was usually involved in those stories, and the result is it was hard to care about him because of how non-compelling they were.

As for the character himself, I wasn’t impressed with him for a number of reasons.

First, there’s his relationship with women. I didn’t pick up on this the first time, but a rewatch has shown me how sexist Alcide came off during certain moments on the show. Case in point: His relationship with Debbie. One of the big conflicts between Alcide and Debbie on the show is that they both wanted different things. Alcide didn’t want kids and was fine not being in a werewolf pack. Debbie was the opposite where she did want kids and wanted to be a part of a community. Nothing wrong with that, but it was pretty clear from the get-go that this relationship was never going to work out. The problem though is that Alcide never seemed to recognize that, and kept trying to force Debbie to be something she didn’t want to be: A housewife who didn’t have kids, who was isolated except for her and Alcide, and who spoke softly and cooked meals for him. Basically the opposite of what Debbie was. And yes, I get that Debbie had a lot of problems and made really poor choices, but Alcide’s method of imposing his idea of what she should be was not the way to have handled that. It doesn’t help that he didn’t really seem to care about what she wanted because he thought he knew what was best for her. Like I said, that’s pretty sexist on his part.

And then there’s Sookie and how she factored into Alcide’s relationship with Debbie in seasons 3-4. I find it telling that when it comes to how this situation was handled, fans are eager to blame Sookie and Debbie for the whole mess that resulted in Alcide abjuring Debbie and Debbie getting killed by Sookie, but people rarely call out Alcide for his part in all of this. Personally though, I think Alcide bears some of the blame here for what happened.

Something that’s been pointed out is that during seasons 3-4, Alcide has only known Sookie for a brief period of time. Season 3 for instance takes place over the course of 9-10 days whereas season 4 takes place over 10 days (October 21st-October 31st). That’s about 2-3 weeks at best. And yet, despite only knowing Sookie for about a week in season 3, and despite having been in love with Debbie for a number of years, he’s already pining for Sookie:

Now maybe you could argue that he saw Sookie as a replacement in season 3 because his relationship with Debbie deteriorated and he was heartbroken. However, that excuse doesn’t hold up in season 4 when he’s supposed to have repaired his relationship with Debbie during the year Sookie was gone in faerie-land, and yet he’s still lusting for Sookie despite only knowing her for a short period of time.

It’s so telling to me that only a few days after Debbie’s death in season 5, Alcide tries to have sex with Sookie when they’re both drunk, and he tells Sookie “I’ve waited so long for this.” It really puts his relationship with Debbie in a negative light, and calls into question whether he actually loved her at all.

I’m not saying that Debbie was blameless in this, and it doesn’t excuse her cheating on Alcide with Marcus or trying to kill Sookie, but it’s not like she didn’t notice Alcide was eyeing Sookie for some time. This was a woman who had hitched her sobriety onto Alcide and felt isolated and alone, and the man she was depending on was emotionally cheating on her. And rather than owning up to that, Alcide tries to gaslight Debbie into thinking she’s crazy and it’s all in her head. He literally says that to her when they’re in bed together, and it’s nasty.

What’s frustrating is this usually gets overlooked in the fandom when people talk about Alcide’s character, and he’s usually referred to in a sympathetic light whereas Debbie is blamed for being an unstable, violent whack-job whereas Sookie is blamed for being a house-wrecker, even though she was in a relationship with Eric at the time.

This is also one of the reasons I never liked Sookie/Alcide as a pairing, and why them getting together at the end of season 6 felt forced: Putting aside how their only sexual interaction up to that point was Alcide trying to have sex with Sookie one night when they were drunk and Sookie vomiting all over him, it was basically Sookie getting pigeon-hold into the role of domestic housewife for Alcide. And I’m sorry, but I find it unbelievable that they were together for 6 months and Sookie never once picked up on any unkind or dirty thoughts from Alcide during the time they were together until the season 7 premiere when that suddenly was a problem.

But even putting aside his relationships with Sookie and Debbie, the biggest problem I have with Alcide is he’s not a compelling character. He’s a character whose motivations and personality change when the plot demands it, and most of the time the writers didn’t know what to do with him and just stuck him in different stories with no rhyme or reason. It doesn’t help that he has no character development during his time on the show. There is no difference between the Alcide we meet in season 3 and the one we end up with in season 7. The result is I don’t care about him.

It’s funny because I’ve seen plenty of fans project these kind of criticisms onto Jason, but I actually think they apply more to Alcide than they do to Jason.

Jason actually had character development. He learned to become more responsible and be someone others could depend on. He began to move away from his womanizing behavior in the later seasons and eventually settled down and had a family. He re-evaluated his stance on supernaturals, and actually became an ally for them in several ways. There is a big difference between the person he was in season 1 and the man he became by season 7. If people missed that, or chose to ignore it, that’s on them, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Alcide on the other hand..............what was his character development? How did he grow as a person? What did he learn from his relationships with Debbie or Sookie or Rikki? Or even from the whole werewolf pack nonsense? Cause I’m drawing a blank here. Was it suppose to be that pack life wasn’t for Alcide because it would turn him into a power-hungry asshole? I never got the impression that was a problem for him in the early seasons, and it was a contrived conflict that was manufactured for season 6. The show never did a good job fleshing out what his arc was suppose to be.

Also, say what you will about Jason’s stories, but at least they were memorable: Amy and Jason’s relationship. The Fellowship of the Sun. The werepanthers. Becoming a cop with Andy. His relationship with Jessica. His hunt for Warlow. I would also argue that each of these stories added something to Jason’s character, and helped him grow as a person. Alcide’s arc on the other hand.......................not so much. When I was rewatching, I had to take notes just to remember what was going on with the werewolves, and even when I was rewatching, I felt the overwhelming urge to hit the fast-forward button. That is how boring those scenes were. It says something that even Alcide wasn’t able to carry them.

TL;DR: I’m apathetic to Alcide (with a few moments where I find him unlikable), and I don’t think he was a good character. The werewolf plots were tedious at best and irritating at worst, and Alcide’s arc on the show wasn’t compelling or interesting. I don’t hate him the same way I hate characters like Bill, Hoyt, and Violet, but I don’t like him either.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 376

THE QUR'AN AND ESTABLISHED SCIENTIFIC FACTS: Part 1

It is another argument for the Divine authorship of the Qur’an that it refers to certain facts of creation recently established by modern scientific methods. How, except on account of its Divine authorship, is it possible for the Qur’an to be literally true on matters of which people had not the least inkling at the time when it was revealed? For example, if the Qu’ran were not a Divine Revelation, would it have been possible for it to contain such a verse as this: Do not the unbelievers realize that the heavens and the earth were one unit of creation before we split them asunder? (21.20).

Whether the Qur’an really does refer, explicitly or implicitly, to the kinds of facts the sciences deal with, and the relationship between the Qur’an and modern sciences, are matters of considerable controversy among Muslim intellectuals. We should therefore treat the subject at length.

SCIENCE AND RELIGION

THE CIVILIZATION ISLAM CREATED

The conflict of science and religion in the West dates back as far as the thirteenth century. Due to the essential character of the corrupted Christianity represented by the Catholic Church, which condemns nature as a veil separating man from God and curses the knowledge of nature, any scientific advances were not seen in the West during the middle ages, which are called dark ages in European history. However, during the same period a magnificent civilization was flourishing in the Muslim East. Muslims, obeying the injunctions of the holy Qur’an, studied both the Book of Divine Revelation, that is, the Qur’an, and the Book of Creation, that is, the universe, and founded the most magnificent civilization of human history. Scholars from all over the old world benefited from the centers of higher learning at Damascus, Bukhara, Baghdad, Cairo, Fez, Qairwan, Zeitona, Cordoba, Sicily, Isathan, Delhi, and other great centres throughout the Muslim world. Historians liken the Muslim world of the Middle Ages, dark for the West but bright for Muslims, to a beehive. Roads were full of students, scientists and scholas travelling from one center of learning to another. Many world-renowned figures such as al-Kindi, al-Khwarizrni, alFarabi, Ibn Sina, al-Mas’udi, lbn al-Haytham, al-Biruni, al-Ghazzali, Nasir al-Din al-Tusi, al-Razi and many others shone like stars in the firmament of the sciences. In his multivolume History of Science, George Sarton divided his work into fifty- year periods, naming each chapter after the most eminent scientist of the period in question. For the years from the middle of eighth century (second century after Hijra) to the twelfth century, each of seven fifty- year periods carries the name of a Muslim scientist. Thus we have ‘the Time of al-Khwarizmi, the Time of al-Biruni’, etc. Within these chapters Sarton lists one hundred important Muslim scientists and their principal works.

John Davenport, a leading scientist, observed:

It must be owned that all the knowledge whether of Physics, Astronomy, Philosophy or Mathematics, which flourished in Europe from the 10th century was originally derived from the Arabian schools, and the Spanish Saracen may be looked upon as the father of European philosophy (Quoted by A. Karim in Islamic Contribution to Science and Civilization).

Bertrand Russell, the famous British philosopher, wrote (Pakistan Quarterly, Vol.A, No.3):

The supremacy of the East was not only military. Science, philosophy, poetry, and the arts, all flourished in the Muhammadan world at a time when Europe was sunk in barbarism. Europeans, with unpardonable insularity, call this period ‘the Dark Ages’: but it was only in Europe that it was dark---indeed only in Christian Europe, for Spain, which was Mohammedan, had a brilliant culture.

Robert Briffault, the renowned historian, acknowledges in his book The Making of Humanity:

It is highly probable that but for the Arabs, modem European civilization would have never assumed that character which has enabled it to transcend all previous phases of evolution. For although there is not a single aspect of human growth in which the decisive influence of Islamic culture is not traceable, nowhere is it so clear and momentous as in the genesis of that power which constitutes the paramount distinctive force of the modern world and the supreme course of its victory- natural sciences and the scientific spirit... What we call sciences arose in Europe as a result of a new spirit of inquiry; of new methods of investigation, of the method of experiment, observation, measurement, of the development of Mathematics in a form unknown to the Greeks. That spirit and those methods were introduced into the European world by the Arabs.

For the first five centuries of its existence, the realm of Islam was the most civilized and progressive portion of the world. Studded with splendid cities, gracious mosques and quiet universities, the Muslim East offered a striking contrast to the Christian West, which was sunk in the night of the Dark Ages (L. Stoddard, The New World of Islam).

This bright civilization progressed until it suffered the terrible disasters which came like huge overlapping waves, from the West and Far East one after the other in the form of the Crusades and Mongol invasion. The disasters lasted centuries until the Muslim government in Baghdad collapsed and the history of Islam entered, from the beginning of the fourteenth century, a new phase with the Ottoman Turks. Islamic civilization was still vigorous and remained far ahead of the Christian West in economic and military fields until the eighteenth century, despite (from the sixteenth century onwards) losing ground to it in the sciences.

Cordoba in the tenth century under Muslim rule was the most civilized city in Europe, the wonder and admiration of the world. Travellers from the north heard with something like fear of the city which contained 70 libraries with hundreds of thousands of volumes, and 900 public baths, yet whenever the rulers of Leon Navarre of Barcelona needed a surgeon, an architect, a dressmaker or a musician, it was to Cordoba that they applied (T. Arnold, The Legacy of Islam, p.9). Muslim literary prestige was so great that in Spain, for example, it was found necessary to translate the Bible and liturgy into Arabic for the use of the Christian community. The account given by Alvaro, the Christian zealot and writer, shows vividly how even the non- Muslim Spaniards were attracted to Arab/Muslim literature:

My fellow-Christians delight in the poems and romances of the Arabs.They study the works of Muhammadan theologians and philosophers, not in order to refute them, but to acquire a correct and elegant Arabic style. Where today can a layman be found who reads the Latin commentaries on holy Scriptures? Who is there that studies the Gospels, the Prophets, the Apostles? Alas, the young Christians who are the most conspicuous for their talents have no knowledge of any literature or language save the Arabic; they read and study with avidity Arabian books; they amass whole libraries of them at a vast cost, and they everywhere sing the praises of the Arabian world (Indiculus Luminosus, translated by Dozy).

If the purpose of education and worth of civilization is to raise the sense of pride, dignity, honour in individuals so that they improve their state and consequently the state of society, Islamic civilization is proven to have been a worthy one. There is ample evidence quoted by various writers showing how Islam has succeeded in doing this to various peoples of various regions, e.g. Isaac Taylor, in his speech delivered at the Church Congress of England about the effects and influence of Islam on people, said:

When Muhammadanism is embraced, paganism, fetishism, infanticide and which craft disappear. Filth is replaced by cleanliness and the new convert acquires personal dignity and self-respect. Immodest dances and promiscuous intercourse of the sewes cease; female chastity is rewarded as a virtue; industry replaces idleness; licence gives place to law; order and sobriety prevail; blood feuds, cruelty to animals and slaves are eradicated. Islam swept away corruption and superstitions. Islam was a revolt against empty polemics.. It gave hope to the slave, brotherhood to mankind, and recognition to the fundamental facts of human nature. The virtues which Islam inculcates are temperance, cleanliness, chastity, justice, fortitude, courage, benevolence, hospitality, veracity and resignation.. Islam preaches a practical brotherhood, the social equality of all Muslims. Slavery is not part of the creed of Islam. Polygamy is a more difficult question. Moses did not prohibit it. It was practised by David and it is not directly forbidden in the New Testament. Muhammad limited the unbounded license of polygamy. It is the exception rather than the rule... In resignation to God’s Will, temperance, chastity, veracity and in brotherhood of believers they (the Muslims) set us a pattern which we should well to follow. Islam has abolished drunkenness, gambling and prostitution, the three curses of the Christian lands. Islam has done more for civilization than Christianity. The conquest of one-third of the earth to his (Muhammad’s) creed was a miracle.

[1989xtaylorsversion]

folklore is taylor swift's best album, and i stand by that. (my album review)

hello swifties, i'm back.

folklore is taylor swift's eighth studio album, and in my humble opinion, it's her best. this album holds such a special place in my heart because it's what propelled me into being a full-time swiftie. i apologize in advance for how repetitive i'm going to get because i will be proclaiming my love for every track.

now that the pleasantries are done, let's talk about folklore aka the winner for AOTY (thank you scammy's, at least they did one thing right)

1. the 1

this song is so easy to love. it's fun, light, catchy, and so soothing. the opening line just grabs your attention, so good job ms. swift. i don't have a lot to say about it, but i think it was a great choice to make this the first track. it's one of her best album openers.

2. cardigan

i looove cardigan. the beginning may turn you off, but it PICKS UP by the third verse. i love the lyrics, and i loooove the music video. it's one of her most beautiful music videos, there's no argument. the fact that she made it during a pandemic - her power. also, selling the cardigans as merchandise was one of the best decisions she's made, they're beautiful.

3. the last great american dynasty

ok guys, here's the truth - this song was a grower. i didn't connect with it for a little bit, and i didn't really gravitate towards it. i never hated it, but it's one of the songs (yes you read that right, we'll get there) that took a minute for me to really appreciate. i eventually saw the light though because on one magical day, something shifted and i realized that it's a great song that deserves its hype.

4. exile ft. bon iver

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH! if "exile" isn't in your top 3, you need to reevaluate some things. in my opinion, it's the best collaboration taylor has done. it is raw, emotional, soul-crushing, and above all magical. it transcends you into another world. the bridge and everything after is pure serotonin. i loved it from the second i heard it, and it's never let me down.

5. my tears ricochet

again, I LOVE THIS SONG!! it's also in my top 3, and it never left its place. it is so beautifully haunting. the lyrics and imagery really stay with you. there are so many meanings, so apply it to your life anyway you want. i have never felt true betrayal but this song makes me feel like i have. this is one of her strongest fifth tracks. thank you taylor, your good deeds won't be forgotten.

6. mirrorball

i can't believe i'm admitting this, but "mirrorball" was another grower. when i first heard it, my immediate reaction was, "wow this would be a great song to include in a movie when the main characters are slow dancing at a school dance." i still think that. but, one day i heard it again, and it opened my eyes to the fact that this song is amazing. the bridge is definitely my favorite part, and i hope it's your's.

the meaning is so sad, because taylor has expressed her fear that people aren't going to want to listen to her past a certain point, and she's always had to reinvent herself. it's interesting how females in the music industry have to constantly reinvent themselves, but males don't... hmm...

that's another topic, but it should be said.

anyway, i just want taylor to know she can literally release absolutely anything, and we will still listen. i just want her to be authentic, be happy, and make music that fulfills her.

7. seven

this song was another grower, and i'll be honest, it's not the song i gravitate towards a lot. but, i still love it. it's sweet, innocent, and soothing. the second verse is my favorite.

8. august

AUGUST STANS ARE WE HERE??

where do i even begin?? the second i hear the opening lines, i'm at peace. it is perfect. "august" is just pure serotonin packaged into a song. the bridge is immaculate. i've yet to meet anyone who doesn't like this song, and if you do, don't talk to me :)

also, i love the love triangle storyline lol. it makes the songs so much more interesting. there's not much to say except, thank you, taylor.

9. this is me trying

this song is so nice to listen to, and it's so easy to love. the lyrics are thoughtful, and the instrumentals enhance it so well. i really overplayed it when the album first came out lol. it's short and sweet.

10. illicit tears

wow, it was so rude of taylor to drop this soul-crushing song without any warnings and expect me to be fine. i'm still waiting for the apology video btw.

in all seriousness, this song is a masterpiece. the lyrics are so vivid, she's unbelievable. the bridge is unreal, it just makes you wanna scream (pun intended). i love the second verse, it just picks up from there. even though the storyline is sad, it is a gorgeous song. also, she taught me like 2 new words from this song, so thank you for expanding my vocabulary, taylor.

11. invisible string

swifties, this song is adorable. the idea of an invisible string connecting you and your soulmate is beautiful, and i hope we can all experience this feeling one day. it is such a cute song, i really enjoy it.

12. mad woman

this song was also a grower, but rest assured, i love it. i love the meaning, and when she dropped the f-bomb, it sure grabbed my attention.

13. epiphany

"epiphany" is beautiful. i know some people feel it's too sad, but i love sad songs, so i'm not complaining. it's calming, and her voice and the instrumentals are beautiful. i really enjoy it.

14. betty

wow, betty is a masterpiece. the harmonicas, oh my gosh. she curses in this one too, and it's great. the last chorus is unbelievable, i can't believe she actually made this song. taylor really treated us well, i'm so grateful.

would you forgive james? i wonder what people think of the love triangle.

15. peace

"peace" is so cute, it just makes me happy. it took a minute for it to grow on me, but i'm glad it did.

16. hoax

"hoax" is another hauntingly beautiful song. i think it was a good song to close with, and her vocals sound great.

17. the lakes

i wish this song made the final tracklist, but i'm glad she released it regardless. it's SO beautiful, i love everything about it. i wouldn't change a single thing. i love the meaning behind it, her lyricism is incredible. she turns into a superhero when she picks up that pen.

overall thoughts:

i don't know what else to add, i think i said it all in the beginning. this album came at the perfect time, taylor always knows when i need her. i'm so grateful for her because she just released music this year and said "here you go, enjoy." i have such happy memories with this album, it's one of my all-time favorites. it's one of my comfort albums, and i'll never grow tired of it.

my rating: 10/10

the weakest song: lol, you thought.

the strongest songs: my tears ricochet, illicit affairs, exile, mirrorball, august, and cardigan. those are the ones i gravitate towards the most, but let's be real, they're all strong and amazing. this was a hard choice to make.

THANK YOU TAYLOR SWIFT.

also, i hope you all enjoy fearless (taylor's version). see you soon swifties, xoxo.

[bobdylanrevisited]

The Times They Are A-Changin’

Released: 13 January 1974

Rating: 10/10

Cards on the table, this is my favourite folk album of all time. ‘The King of Folk’, ‘The Spokesperson of his Generation’, ‘The Protest Singer’. These are all labels Bob hates, however this album confirms that he is all these things and much more. Whilst there a few love songs thrown in, this album is defined by it’s more radical tracks, as Dylan takes society to task. 

1) The Times They Are A-Changin’ - This is another song that is as true today as it was in ‘64. The themes of youthful anger, and much needed change, pour out of this album and can still be applied to the issues we march for today. Like ‘Blowin’ In The Wind’, this will go down in history as a cultural turning point in both popular and protest music. Bob has continued to perform this live over the last 57 years, which shows just how timeless the lyrics are, and you should check out the melancholic, ballad version he played for President Obama at the White House in 2010. 

2) Ballad Of Hollis Brown: A devastatingly sad song, which tells the story of a farmer, who is forced to kill his starving family. As well as civil rights, another theme of this album is the treatment of working class families, left behind by the government. It’s a grim but important tale, and the snarled singing really helps the message hit home. 

3) With God On Our Side - This is a satirically political ballad, based on the notion that ‘god’ was behind all victories for America, regardless of if the opposing sides also believed in him. Dylan sings of those who won’t forgive the Germans, and being told to hate the Russians, and takes the persona of a naive patriot who puts faith ahead of reason and free thought. This must have been somewhat shocking in the early 1960s, in a deeply religious country like America, and is even more shocking that just 15 years later, Dylan would be putting out albums as a born-again Christian. 

 4) One Too Many Mornings - An unbelievably understated, romantic ballad, about regret, potentially aimed at Suze again, a theme carried over from ‘Freewheelin’. However, this is also one of Dylan’s most reworked songs, and each time it sounds like a completely new song by a completely different artist. The electrifying 1966 version, the country version with Johnny Cash or at the Isle of Wight festival in 1969, the Rolling Thunder version from 1975/6. Whilst Bob is a chameleon, shapeshifting across different genres, this song is so perfect that it remains a classic, no matter how much he changes the sound. 

5) North Country Blues - Another song about the failings of the American Dream, and the disregard of the working class. This time the story is told by a young woman in a failing mining town (possibly Dylan’s home town of Duluth/Hibbing, Minnesota), where the oil companies have moved overseas to save costs. This is a heartbreakingly beautiful song, and is a scathing attack on capitalism and the consequences of big corporations chasing a few extra dollars, that again wouldn’t feel out of place if it was released today.

6) Only A Pawn In Their Game - Bob played this song all around the country at protests and civil rights rallies, culminating with him performing it at The March on Washington, where Martin Luther King Jr gave his famous ‘I Have a Dream’ speech. It tells the tale of Medgar Evers, a black rights activist in Mississippi, who was murdered by a white man. Yet it also talks of how the poor white man is also a victim, and is spurred on by elites who want to keep the rich whites in power and are threatened by the Civil Rights Movement. It’s a radical song, and is a brilliant dissection of both race and class relations in America. It’s a very sad state of affairs that, like much of his work from this period, the song is still as relevant now as it was back then. 

7) Boots Of Spanish Leather - Almost identical to ‘Girl From The North Country’ in tune and theme, this is yet another bittersweet song for Suze, after her time in Italy and Bob travelling to see her, yet she’d already returned to America. What sets it apart are the beautiful lyrics that are both achingly sad, yet full of warmth. In other words, I love it. 

8) When The Ship Comes In - Hell hath no fury like a Dylan scorned. Following him almost being denied a room at a hotel due to his scruffy appearance, his touring companion Joan Baez had to vouch for him. Once he was finally in his room, he composed this shanty that sounds almost too cheerful, until you realise the lyrics are full of wishes that his enemies be taken by the sea and drowned. It’s a brilliant song, the reels you in with the happy music, and knocks you off your feet with its enraged fantasies. 

9) The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll - It pains me that Hattie Carroll’s name could easily be replaced with Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Trayvon Martin, and far too many countless others. Whilst some say that certain elements of the story are exaggerated, this is possibly Dylan’s most powerful song. The depressingly familiar theme of murder, civil rights, injustice, and wealth have never hit harder. Particularly in modern times, the line ‘the ladder of law has no top and no bottom’ is all the more relevant, as is the story of a white man barely getting a slap on the wrist for murdering a black woman. It’s a perfect song, almost prophetic, and is still ideal for causes like Black Lives Matter, just as it was for the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s.

10) Restless Farewell - On any other album, this song would be a highlight. It’s only due to the other tracks being so brilliant, that this almost feels like a let down. However, upon closer listening, this is an incredibly angry song masquerading as a ballad, that lashes out at rumours of Dylan’s plagiarism, upbringing, and blossoming career. It’s almost the first of many beautifully constructed ‘fuck you’ songs to his detractors, something that Bob would become all too familiar with over the next few years.

Verdict: Perfection. In my mind, no folk album will ever come close to living up to this. Even the outtakes from these recording sessions are better than most people’s careers, particularly the perfection that is ‘Percy’s Song’. If his career ended here, he would still be remembered as history’s best songwriter, but Bob was only getting started. Whilst the Newport Folk Festival was crowning him as their new king and the political voice of the counter culture, Bob was getting ready to go through his first metamorphosis and follow his own path, no matter who he pissed off in the process. 

[onceinsomniac]

Snapshots Of Her Life Part 10

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11

Jennie was 20 years old when she finally accepted that the anger would never truly fade away...

Jennie sighted as the alarm clock on her nightstand started going off. She turned over and buried her head in her pillow, wishing the sound away. It had been another long, sleepless night and Jennie was not ready to start her day. She heard her room door slamming against the wall as her pissed off roommate stormed in. “Seriously Jennie? Again? How many times do I have to ask you to turn your alarm clock off before it wakes up everyone else in the dorm?” she seethed, as she furiously pressed the off button on the alarm. Jennie ignored her, as she always did.

Jisoo stared down at Jennie’s form, still laying below her blanket, before seeing she would get no reply. She felt her anger seep away to be replaced by pity. “You can’t keep going like this. Something’s going to have to change eventually”, she told her, her voice much softer than before. She turned on her feet and left the room.

Jennie had to stop herself from going after her and starting a shouting match, which was her go to nowadays. Deep down, she knew Jisoo was right. It wasn’t fair what she was doing. To herself or to others. Especially to Jisoo who had been unbelievably kind and understanding ever since she had first arrived there. It had been almost half a year since she first arrived at NYU, ready for a fresh start. Her mom had wanted her to study somewhere closer to home but Jennie had insisted on continuing with her and Lisa's plans of moving to New York. She felt she owed her that.

She was starting to wonder if maybe her mom had been right after all. Maybe she wasn’t ready. When she had first moved into her new dorm, Jisoo had already been there, waiting to greet her new roommate. She had been so cheerful and outgoing and funny and Jennie had immediately liked her, her sense of humor reminding her of Lisa. She remembered looking forward to getting to know her better only to be overtaken by a strong sense of guilt and anger. How could she be thinking about having fun and making new friends when Lisa would never be able to do any of those things again?

She knew it didn’t make sense. Lisa would have wanted her to move on, to be happy but every time she started to do so, the memory of her would come to the forefront of her mind and she would start thinking about how Lisa should be there by her side, experiencing all these things with her. Knowing that would never happen just made her angry at the world and she would take her anger out on anyone around. It was like an endless cycle and Jennie could see no way out.

She had accepted that she would simply spend the four years of college waking up, going to her classes and going back to her dorm, her temper making it impossible for her to truly make friends. She’d tried multiple times but she always ended up pushing them away when the guilt inevitably rolled around and her angry outbursts started. She would go from feeling happy and laughing to wanting to slam her fist against the nearest surface, skin burning at the injustice of the world. She had eventually come to the decision that isolating herself would be the best option for everyone.

It had taken almost four months of Jennie’s constant refusals before Jisoo had finally given up on her and stopped inviting her to hang out or go places. She knew something must have happened to her roommate and wanted to be there for her but didn’t know how to.

Jennie didn’t know what to do. After months of talking to no one besides the daily calls with her mother, she was drowning in loneliness. She looked at her classmates laughing and talking with their friends and longed to be there with them. But another part of her hated them for being so happy. She wanted all of them to be as miserable as her. It felt wrong to her that the world should keep turning without Lisa in it.

She looked at the clock and sighted when she saw she had been laying around for half an hour already and her class had already started. She knew she should be scrambling around, gathering her things and running off to the building her class was in, but she just didn’t have it in her to care. She didn’t seem to care for much anymore. She stood up and lazily made her way to her closet, throwing on the first pair of jeans and t-shirt she saw before grabbing her bag and making her way out the dorm building.

She walked towards the main building where her sociology class was located. It was a quick, five-minute walk and before long, she was standing outside the classroom door. She quietly opened the door and sat at the closest seat available, ignoring the looks her classmates and professor were shooting her, as she arrived late once again. Ms. Ha , her professor, gazed at her for a moment longer before returning to her previous lecture.

Jennie watched as everyone around her wrote down notes but she just couldn’t be bothered to. She stared at the clock that hung on the wall as she waited for the class to end, wanting to be back in her bed. After what seemed like eternity, Ms. Ha finally reached the end of her lecture and dismissed the class. “I’ll see you all tomorrow. Ms. Kim, please stay behind.”

Jennie bit back her urge to roll her eyes at the request. She made her way down the stairs and stood by his desk, waiting as he stood by the door and waved goodbye at every student as they left. Once the last student was gone, Ms. Ha walked back to her desk. She sat down on top of it and looked at her, a pensive expression on her face. “Jennie, I’m going to be frank with you”, she said, dropping all formalities. “You’re constantly late to class, you never seem to pay attention, and you have at least two papers that are overdue. If you don’t change things around soon, you probably won’t be here next semester.”

Jennie didn’t care about what she was saying until he got to the last part. Panic started to fill her at the idea of being kicked out. This was the school she had chosen alongside Lisa. The school they had applied to together. It felt like an insult to her memory for Jennie to throw their dream away. She nodded her acknowledgement at her words before making her way to the door, clenching her fists as the idea of being kicked out lingered in her mind. She knew she was just trying to help her but that didn’t make any difference as the familiar anger drummed beneath her skin, itching to get out.

She had to get back to her room before she did something she’d regret later. She decided to leave the building using the back way, which led to a barely used parking lot, as almost no one came that way and she didn’t want to see anyone. Her wish, however, went unanswered as she was just leaving the building when she saw it.

Jisoo was leaning against a car with a guy she recognized from her high school leaning over her. She didn’t know his name, as he had been two years younger than her and she had only seen him in the hallway. Since NYU had a large campus and Jennie barely left her room, she didn’t see him often but whenever she did, she did her best to avoid him, not wanting anything to do with anyone from her hometown.

She started to leave but something about the way Jisoo was leaning back, as if trying to create space between them both, caught Jennie’s attention. She wanted nothing more than to rush back to her dorm but something kept her standing there, watching. She was too far away to hear what they were saying but by the guy’s expression, she could tell he had heard something he didn’t want to hear.

Jisoo made a move to leave but the guy grasped her arm and shoved her back in place, with her back against the door. Jennie knew that neither of them had seen her yet and that she could probably leave before they ever realized she had been there but the scared look on Jisoo's face kept her standing there. She hesitated for a few seconds longer before quickly walking over to them, silently hoping the guy wouldn’t recognize her. She tapped the guy on his back to get his attention. “Excuse me. It seems my friend doesn’t want you here so why don’t you leave before I go get a professor”, she told him, trying to get him to leave quietly.

The guy looked Jennie up and down before smirking. “You don’t have to be jealous. You can join us if you want”. He told her while leering at her. Jennie glared at him, doing her best to push her rising anger down. “Thanks, but no thanks. You’re not my type. Or hers.” The guy didn’t respond, staring at Jennie like he was trying to place her. His eyes widened in recognition a few seconds later. “Wait a minute, I know you. You’re one of those faggot girls from high school, aren’t you? You were dating that chic who was killed.”

Jennie’s anger threatened to come rushing out at his words. She ignored Jisoo's gasp at the revelation and the blood running down her hands from where her nails had broken skin from clenching her hands into fists so tightly. She glared at him, full of hatred. “Her name was Lisa, you asshole. Now I advise you to leave before I make you”, she told him through clenched teeth. The guy didn’t seem to see the dangerous aura that surrounded Jennie as he let go of Jisoo's arm and turned to face her completely.

He smirked at her, oblivious to the red signs that were pointing at him to leave as soon as possible. “Who cares about her name. She’s gone, thanks to that poor father of hers. I can’t really blame him for what he did. I mean, she’s the one who decided to become one of them. If she had simply been normal, she would still be here.” He opened his mouth to say something else but was silenced by the almost crazy look in her eyes. It seemed like his survival instincts were still somewhat intact after all, as he started backing away. Unfortunately, it was already too late and he didn’t get far before an almost animalistic growl came out of her as she threw herself on top of him. He didn’t stand a chance as she immediately started throwing punch after punch, hitting him relentlessly, deaf to the screams that came from Jisoo, begging her to stop.

Jennie’s mind had gone blank after hearing his words and she had no recollection of what had happened but the next thing she knew, there were arms wrapped around her waist, dragging her off of the guy. Her senses came back as she grew aware of the situation once more. Jisoo was kneeling over the guy, whose face was a bloody mess. She was checking to see if he was still breathing and yelling at Jennie to call 911. Jennie gazed at the guy’s unrecognizable face in shock and then looked down at her bloody hands. She ignored Jisoo's shouts and quickly ran all the way back to her dorm building.

She stumbled into her dorm and made her way to the bathroom. She turned the faucet on and started washing her hands aggressively, desperate to wash away the blood. She stood there for almost 15 minutes, long after the blood had gone down the drain, trying to eliminate the ghost feeling of it coating her hands. She looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror for the first time and she almost gasped at the sight of it.

Blood had splattered up and had now dried on her face. But that wasn’t the thing that shocked her. It was the look in her eyes. The eyes that were staring back at her were those of a stranger. It scared her to realize that if Jisoo hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t have stopped. She hadn’t just wanted to hurt him; she’d wanted to kill him. The sight of his blood had made her want to draw out more. Because, somewhere in her messed-up mind, the guy’s face had started to look like Lisa's father and like every other person in their small-minded town that had spent years judging and hating them.

She’d spent years biting her tongue back and allowing other people’s opinions to simply wash over her, but hearing him speak so callously of Lisa had made her lose control in a way she never had before. She washed the blood of her face before making her way to her room and sitting down on her bed, still in a daze after what had happened.

Seeing what she had done made her realize that maybe this anger had been a part of her for a lot longer than she had first thought. Maybe it had been buried deep inside her ever since she moved to a small town full of close minded, ignorant people, and it had slowly been growing little by little as she and Lisa were belittled and ignored year after year, treated like criminals and outcasts just because they had dared to love each other. Being made to feel like they had committed the biggest sin just for being themselves. Watching their friends leave them, one after another until they only had each other left. Maybe the anger was the result of all those years of hate and she hadn’t realized it before because she had always had Lisa there. Lisa who was so full of love and laughter that the anger had been kept buried deep down. And now that she was gone, it had come running to the surface, much stronger than ever before.

It truly scared her, knowing what she was capable of. She hated the person she had become. The person who didn’t care about anything or anyone and had a vicious streak. The person who liked to hurt people. But the worst thing was that she knew Lisa would have hated that person too.

The incident finally made her realize that she couldn’t go on living like this. She hated to admit it but she knew she needed help. She thought she could cope alone but she couldn’t. Not if she didn’t want to end up alone for the rest of her life. The realization made her start to cry and she buried her face in her hands as sobs wracked her body, washing away the numbness that had surrounded her for so long.

That was how Jisoo found her a few hours later when she entered Jennie’s room. She stood in the door for a few seconds, shocked at seeing her usually callous roommate crying her eyes out. She hadn’t known what to expect but it certainly hadn’t been this. She stared at her for a few seconds before rushing in, sitting down next to her on the bed and enveloping her shaking body in her arms. She stayed there and held her crying roommate until Jennie’s sobs finally came to a stop, aside from the occasional hiccup. Jennie sat up, breaking the embrace. She looked at Jisoo, embarrassed for her to have seen her in such a vulnerable position.

“What happened? Is he going to be okay?” she asked hesitantly, not sure she really wanted to know. Jisoo smiled reassuringly at her. “Don’t worry, he’s fine. He stopped breathing for a minute there and his face is definitely going to take some time to go back to how it looked but he’ll make a full recovery. I went to the hospital with him. And before you ask, you’re going to be fine too. I had a little talk with him once he woke up about how it would be a bad idea for him to go to the cops considering I could accuse him of sexual harassment considering his previous actions. Technically speaking, your actions were worse and would get you in bigger problems but he doesn’t need to know that.” She chuckled.

Jennie stared at her in disbelief. “I think you’re forgetting I’m a law student”, Jisoo clarified, mistaking her disbelief for being at how she managed to manipulate him into silence. Jennie shook her head. “Why would you do that. I mean, God knows I’ve been nothing but a bitch to you ever since we met. I thought you would have gone to the cops yourself.”

Jisoo smiled sadly at her. “I’m not stupid. I knew you’d been through something; I just didn’t know what. Hearing him talk about this Lisa girl. I’m just really sorry you had to go through that. Besides, I know you’re not a bad person. You’re just someone who’s had a lot of bad things happen to them.”

Jennie was still unconvinced. “Besides, who knows what he would have done to me. You saved me when you didn’t have to.” Jennie looked at the floor, not convinced she deserved such kindness from someone she had treated so badly. “I’m sorry. For being such a bad roommate. I’m going to try to do better from now on.”

Jisoo smiled and threw her arms around her, dragging her into a hug. It wasn’t long before she jumped up from the bed and made her way out the door, mumbling something about ice. She came back a few seconds later with two ice packs in her hand and sat back next to Jennie, taking her hands and putting them on top of her knuckles. “That’s definitely going to bruise”, she stated, her smile not leaving her face despite her bleak comment.

And Jennie couldn’t help but laugh as she remembered why Jisoo had reminded her so much of Lisa when she first met her. Except this time, instead of feeling angry, she felt closer, both to Jisoo and to Lisa.

Both girls spent the rest of the day looking up grief counselors near their area and Jisoo booked Jennie an appointment for the very next day once they found one.

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The next morning, Jennie started regretting her decision but Jisoo refused to let her back out and dragged her all the way to the therapist’s office. She told her she would be waiting for her right outside before basically shoving her into the office. Jennie wasn’t at first sure that therapy was the right way to go but then she remembered the anger and hate that had pushed her to send someone to the hospital and the promise she had made to Jisoo about being better and decided to give it a try.

And she had. It hadn’t been easy but after months of constant therapy she had managed to make some progress. Whenever she felt the familiar anger thrumming beneath her skin, coming closer to the surface, she simply excused herself from the room and isolated herself before she could take her anger out on any innocent bystanders.

She started boxing and it became a great way to keep it in check, often spending hours in the gym taking her frustrations out on either her instructor or the punching bag. Meditating also became a great stress reliever. As time continued to go by, Jennie kept on finding different ways to cope and she slowly started getting back to who she was before. She opened up more to Jisoo and the two became really good friends. She introduced her to the rest of her friends and they quickly became Jennie’s friends. She started going out again and having fun, she met new people and started actually attending her classes and making plans for her future.

Her life, which had been close to hitting rock bottom, started looking up and for the first time in years, Jennie was actually happy. Nevertheless, no matter how much she laughed or hung out with her new friends. No matter whether she was having fun or was in the middle of class, the anger thrumming beneath her skin was always there, a constant companion. As much as her constant angry outburst had become a thing of the past, and as much as her friends and family believed she had completely recovered, the truth was, she had simply gotten better at controlling her anger instead of having it control her. The burning sensation of the anger rushing through her skin was a constant in her life. And it would always be.

[readbetweenthelineslove]

Thoughts While Watching SK Homecoming

I was literally smiling and laughing like an idiot while watching these wonderful amazing people and thinking of all of the memories from years of enjoying their musicals. I am so glad I bought the digital download because they deserve all of the love and support. Just a word of warning I will be spoiling what happens throughout the show so if you haven’t seen it yet and/or you don’t want to have anything spoiled for you, I would not proceed any further. You have been warned. Also, as the show is over two hours long, buckle in cause this is gonna be a doozy and I have a lot of feeling about this wonderful show.

Disclaimer: these are just my own personal thoughts and opinions as a long time fan of Starkid, please don’t come at me.

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1. Darren is so cute with how he encourages and interacts with the crowd, you can tell how much he loves Starkid and loves the fans

2. we stan a founding knucklehead of Starkid

3. I am so proud of the musical daddies as they conduct a literal orchestra!! how far they have come!!! also, hearing all of the songs with the orchestra is such a treat.

4. I am living for Jeff Blims outfit! the eyeliner, the necklace, the vest!! honestly, iconic.

5. It is so funny to me that they had to edit out fuck from their songs, i.e. “i mean what the what”; “tiger lover”; “he porked a tiger”.

6. Did they change the octave that they were singing, because Jeff seems to be struggling?

7. I love how Jon Matteson looks the same as he did TGWDLM, he is Paul.

8. I don’t know why but the TGWDLM medley is increasing my appreciation for Jeff, previously who wasn’t really on my radar in terms of my favorite starkids, but I love his little dance moves and funny things he does

9. Robert Manion fucking performs the hell out of show stopping number and I am here for it every single time. I feel like he can’t help it and you can tell he’s into it because he can’t help but make the Hidgins face and wiggle his hips. Also, THE BODY ROLLS I AM LIVING FOR THEM !!! (@9:10)

10. Both Mariah and Jon are confirmed working boys and I love them for it. I love that Corey brought Mariah in at the end to make sure she was included.

11. Okay but Lauren Lopez knows how to perform like she knows how to work and engage a live audience. I so enjoy watching performances like this where there isn’t a wall between performer and audience because I think that that’s when she shines. I also feel like the same applies to Rob, Joey, and Darren, they are just so fun to watch.

12. How are all of these people so attractive!! I especially love Lauren’s outfit, but that’s probably just cause I love her so much.

13. I don’t know why but Brian’s “I still don't know!!” at 12:08 gets me every time.

14. Joey’s look behind him for his shadow at 12:24 while he bops kills me.

15. The orchestral swell at 13:05 with “this is the dawn” is so beautiful.

16. Lauren's arms are unbelievable, but we already knew that

17. 14:43 where Joey and Lauren walk and then turn back is so funny to me.

18. The second naked in a lake kicked in at 17:05, I got so hype. also, love that Corey took off his jacket during the song.

19. All the different faces and actions during the “fasters” at 19:54 are so good.

20. I never realized how tall and gangly Clark was until the Ani section, the boy's limbs are too long for his own good and I love it. His voice is so beautiful though!!

21. Joe calling Twisted the first-ever live-action Disney remake is iconic and no one can tell me otherwise.

22. I was legitimately afraid for the buttons on Joe’s shirt at 27:43.

23. Britney Coleman and Carlos Valdez singing 1001 Nights was a wonderful surprise and literally so beautiful, also their exit as Dylan started singing was so cute.

24. I’m kind of sad that they didn’t actually sing Twisted in the medley cause that was one of my favorite songs, but I understand that they had time constraints.

25. After 32:38, I feel like I need to watch the Lego Batman movie to see how similar it is to HMB.

26. Semi-disappointed that they didn’t do the usual choreography for the “I want to be your friend forever” part, but I respect that the handheld mics restricted them.

27. The bass or guitar or whatever in the background at 36:30 was so groovy, I was a fan of that.

28. Tbh, I didn’t really get Denise’s whole bit about how Starship is a show only for dreamers, it just felt a little off to me.

29. I’m a little bummed that Joey didn’t sing Status Quo, but I like that they gave it to Mariah and Alex who both have lovely voices. I appreciate that they had a moment to shine when they might not have because they are newer members/ only had a small role.

30. Brian and Jaime’s eye contact with the camera at 40:48 is so powerful and I’m here for it.

31. Joey mouthing the lyrics at 41:21 is so funny and I love it.

32. AJ’s little jump in the background at 43:02 is so cute.

33. Their constant need to have to avoid saying dick throughout the whole MAMD section is so good and hilarious, with so many expertly timed entrances from AJ Holmes and Joe Walker.

34. Joey saying no to the different microphones at 44:00 is absolutely artistic and fucking hysterical. It gave me similar vibes to Bo Burnham’s bit about seeing the most beautiful penis at a urinal.

35. 45:40, AJ Holmes is a delight of a man, need I say more.

36. “Do I smell?” “Pretty bad.” 45:07

37. Seeing Meredith and Brian standing next to each other at 48:49 makes my heart so happy cause this is what brought them together and now they are married and it’s amazing.

38. “We’ve written on all of the Starkid shows” 50:46, what a powerful statement.

39. I had no clue that the Starkid movie (1997) was a thing and I love that Nick just straight-up roasted it.

40. The subtitles at 52:56, dramatical instrumental music. I am here for it, I love this revamped version

41. Darren is so extra singing Goin back to Hogwarts and I am here for it. Our boy has grown so much! 

42. Pulling out the glasses at 54:03 is a power move.

43. I’m not sure about how I feel about people singing along to the songs during this. I know it is supposed to be for the fans but don’t people want to just sit back and listen to how amazing these people are and just enjoy. Maybe that’s just cause I only am viewing it through a computer and if I had been there I might have felt different, but who knows.

44. 56:05, AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! It’s Bonnie!!! She looks amazing and I’m so happy that she’s here!!!

45. Joey trying to the clap in the ear with mic at 58:04.

46. 58:16, I love how Darren always hypes up the crowd for Lauren’s entrances as Draco, he’s done this a number of times and it makes my heart so happy how he supports his friends.

47. I love Lauren so much the way she moves across the stage at 58:57, the power stance at 59:05...absolutely incredible.

48. I love seeing Rob in the chorus cause he was a fan, he loves AVPM just as much as we do and now we get to see him up there performing one of the most iconic songs. It honestly just makes my heart so happy.

49. 1:00:12, Dylan emerging from the audience is honestly so funny to me and I love him for it. Also, I love the ongoing trope of the “welcome” getting progressively longer each time they perform the song. Bless Dylan’s lungs and abilities to sustain that note.

50. 1:03:45 Jim little butt taps are so good.

51. The saxophone at 1:04:19 is so enjoyable.

52. I like how the slowed things down for Home at 1:06:10 with Darren sitting on the stage just having a personal moment with the audience, it was really nice.

53. Darren’s hops at 1:08:45 are so adorable and I love them.

54. I know that AVPM songs are iconic and everyone loves them, but I would have liked to see them so some more songs from AVPS and AVPSY, especially since they had some time rehearse them and there would be no mic issues.

55. Yay for a Bonnie and Meredith duet, both women are wonderful and have done an amazing job as Hermione and I love them both.

56. “Art imitates life a little bit on that one”, it’s okay we love you Darren with your silly guitar.

57. I didn’t think watching this would be educational, but I now know what a litmus test is and what slant rhymes (aka really pushing it rhymes) are thanks to Darren and google, so there’s that.

58. This may be a bit controversial but I feel as though this was one of the weaker performances of Granger Danger, usually Joey and Lauren have fun with it and I love it when they do, but this time they seemed to be more going through the motions. There were good moments (i.e. Joey’s hips, Lauren sliding down the mic stand, the back and forth head turns) but overall it was just kind of eh.

59. Darren’s twirl at 1:28:36 is delightful.

60. I firmly believe that AJ has permanently memorized the fantasy monologue and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise, 1:31:10. Also, I’m curious if it was planned because someone in the audience calls out for it, but that might have been a plant so who knows.

61. I just realized at 1:32:20, where he’s talking about mouse wives and concubines that would be bestiality. He only shrunk his size down, he would still technically be a human...

62. Tyler Brunsman singing Guys like Potter is now kind of funny considering AVPSY and Cedric ending up with Lily in the afterlife.

63. Joe Moses face at 1:38:57 is classic Snape and I am here for it.

64. Another yay for Sidekick, this is one of my fav AVPSY songs and Joey kills it every time.

65. 1:43:19, goddamn that man can hit a high note.

66. I love the addition of Rob to Everything Ends, what a pretty song and Rob’s voice works wonderfully with it.

67. 1:44:58, Rob struggling with the mic is hilarious.

68. Classic Snape speech at 1:46:30, simply inspiring.

69. I love Jaime and we all know her voice is incredible, but something seemed off during Not Alone and at times it sounded like she was struggling.

70. 1:51:56, I don’t know if I just don’t know much about music but Joey’s make was a little off, but on another note, I think it would have been really sweet if they had let Lauren sing too so that Draco could finally add to that harmony.

71. That sick piano rift at 1:54:33, hell yeah!

72. Even though they always use Days of Summer as the closing song, I love it every time, it’s just so fun and gets me so emotional.

73. That key change at 1:56:50 tho.

74. Yay for enthusiastic but sometimes questionable fanart ;)

75. Brian and Joe recreating the ending scene of AVPM is absolutely beautiful and I am here for it.

76. The matching jackets at the end speaks to the fact that Starkid at its essence is just a bunch of friends who were theatre nerds and wanted to create something fun together and I think that's wonderful.

In conclusion: Props to whoever made it to the end of this ridiculously long post summarizing the different thoughts I had while watching Homecoming. I truly think it was something for the fans and I love them for it. I am so proud of Starkid and all they have accomplished since 2009.

I want to encourage others to continue to support Starkid in the future, maybe even by purchasing Homecoming for themselves, I would definitely recommend giving it a watch. Also, feel free to respond and let me know your own thoughts on Homecoming, I’m sure there’s lots I missed and I would love to hear what others thoughts. 

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 30: AMJ #4.2

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This post is something of an exception in my coverage of AMJ. Originally I hoped to dedicate just one post per issue but changed that to two due to the length. The pages I’ll be covering here though are exceptional.

Not just because I had so much to say about them, but because they cut to the heart of the story. These pages present Williams’ attempt to finally justify  MJ’s actions throughout the story. As such I’ve opted to single these pages out in this instalment and continue covering the rest of the story next time.

If you want the context for the preceding pages check out the previous post.

The pages revolve around MJ chatting with Master Matrix. It turns out he knows ‘McKnight’ is really Quentin Beck. She thanks him for keeping their secret. Master Matrix asks MJ how Spider-Man feels about her working with Mysterio; I guess he knows about her connection to Peter too.

MJ gets a little flustered by this question. MM continues that he’s questioned how to raise this subject with Spidey himself. MJ relates to this and explains that Peter knows she’s working on a Mysterio movie, just not with the man himself. MM asks why she’s deceiving Peter. MJ explains she isn’t being deceitful on purpose (um…yeah she is) but is just protecting Beck because she believes in what he is doing.

MM makes the (incredibly obvious) point that Mysterio is a villain and Spidey is good. He elaborates that they are both hiding the truth from a good person to collaborate with a villain. MJ responds by asking if MM understands the concept of redemption. He says he does.

Lord have mercy, this page is awful.

Now I should be upfront. I didn’t read Spider-Man/Deadpool so maybe I need to be set straight about certain important details from that title. I don’t know how or why Master Matrix knows who Spider-Man is for example. My brief research tells me he was rescued by Peter’s parents or something. I don’t recall seeing anything about Mysterio when I read up on him, so I don’t know how or why he’d know ‘McKnight’ is really Beck. Maybe his abilities allow for him to deduce that fact? If not, then that’s yet another hole in the story.

Anyway, the point is he knows Peter is Spider-Man, keeps in contact with him and by extension knows about (or has deduced) MJ’s connection to Peter. What’s less clear is how Mary Jane  knows about MM’s connection to Peter. We’ve never seen them talk about him or any of Peter’s adventures with Deadpool for that matter.

I’m willing to accept that personally I guess. As I went over in parts 3-5, Peter does clue MJ into major events in his Spidey career. I suppose befriending a living Weapon of Mass Destruction would count as something your partner ought to know about. This ultimately hurts Williams’ own narrative though. It demonstrates that Peter has been very honest and open with MJ whilst she hasn’t. It also further proves that Peter would inform MJ of his hero career, which would include Beck and his past crimes. Therefore MJ would very likely know about all the stuff Beck did in ‘Guardian Devil’ and just about everything else we discussed in parts 3-5. And yet, she’s still getting chummy with a murderous, sexually violating monster.

We then come to the lame-ass attempt by Williams to address MJ’s motivations for this arc. First of all, Williams thinks now  this is the best time to address that elephant in the room? It’s the penultimate issue of the arc (originally the entire series)! This shouldn’t been pinned down by issue #1 or #2 at the absolute latest.

Lateness aside, Williams’ attempt (unsurprisingly) utterly fails. MJ comes off almost childish when she says she isn’t ‘being deceitful on purpose’. A quick look at the definition of deceit proves that to be bullshit.

It’s the equivalent of saying “I’m not lying. I just happen to be withholding certain truths.”

Yeah that’s lying by omission, which is a form of deceit!

As for her justification for deceiving Peter, I’ve gone over that more than enough. MJ wouldn’t believe in what Beck is doing. Or at least she never would to the point where she’d lie to Peter the way she is or protect a terrible person like Beck.

The audacity of Williams to bring up how MJ is protecting a villain and deceiving a hero is unbelievable. It’s honestly left me flabbergasted. So, Williams KNOWS  that’s what she’s written MJ as doing? She KNOWS  that but she’s still having MJ do it? Or is she really just incredibly unaware and paying lip-service?

Maybe the next page will enlighten us.

So MJ just asked if MM understands redemption, which he does intimately. She follows up by saying he’d understand then that it’s not a simple switch from bad to good. Rather, it’s a journey that takes a lot of work; work Beck is putting in right now. MJ feels she is protecting Beck’s ‘journey’. It isn’t that she thinks Peter incapable of understanding this (quite the contrary), she just hasn’t figured out how  to tell him. She doesn’t want him to worry about her and feels he is already got enough on his mind.

MM then asks what if MJ has misjudged Beck? To this she concedes she will have deceived Pete, which makes her feel sick.

MM then reveals he was created as a WMD and that he is sure Beck knows tha. He elaborates that when Beck approached him, he presumed it was for the sake of efficiency. However, now he realises it’s because Beck wanted to give him the chance to make something meaningful. In this sense Beck has used his own journey of redemption to protect MM’s own. MM feels utterly indebted to Beck for this.

MJ responds that all MM can do is earn that debt in reverse.

Meanwhile, Diperna has arrived. Screwball has been harassing the journalist with her drones this entire time and continues to do so out of pure fun.

Jesus Christ where to start with this.

MJ is correct that a journey of redemption is more than just a switch from bad to good. It is indeed a long hard journey.

But as I’ve illustrated in parts 9-11, MJ wouldn’t extend the possibility of redemption to Beck given what she knows about him. His actions in this story so far do not reflect someone who’s ‘putting the work in’ at all. He’s evaded the law, broken (and is still breaking) numerous laws to get to this point and shows no signs that he’s going to face the music for his crimes. He’s not even attempted to make amends to the people he’s wronged beyond his old flame Betsy. His attempt with her has been mutated due to MJ to the point where it’s hardly what Beck intended in the first place. Even if it was his ‘apology’ to Betsy would’ve amounted to making her look cool and sexy which by extension glorified himself. Every one of his attempts to help people like Master Matrix have ultimately benefitted himself.

The closest he’s come to honest self-sacrifice, of doing something good purely for the sake of others, was fighting the Savage Six last issue. But even that was selfish to a point. He had personal beef with the Vulture. They were trashing his  movie. In defeating them and protecting his staff he was in turn aiding the protection of his life’s work. In contrast, I detailed several instances in part 10 where criminals put themselves on the line to help people selflessly. Boomerang, Black Cat, Sandman, Venom. All of those people risked their freedom and/or their health for Spidey, for innocents or for the grater good.

Beck hasn’t done that yet. Everything he’s done, even if it has protected innocent people, has simultaneously served his own materialistic or egotistical goals. Hell, given the ease with which he dealt with the Six, it barely qualifies as putting himself at risk.

Extending a helping hand to people like himself is not grounds for putting the work in. He’s helping other criminal/dangerous people make something meaningful. So what? Will he be donating the money to the loved ones of the people he’s hurt? Or to the people thsmselves? Is he going to create a trust fund for Gwyneth’s baby? We know he isn’t going to apologise for his evil actions though the film because MJ said so back in issue #1.

MJ is protecting a murderer, a mental abuser, a sexual abuser and a generally horrible person. Someone who wants  forgiveness but has not actually demonstrated anything in the way of repentance for his actions. As AMJ laid out, he wants to be forgiven by making everyone understand  who he is and why he did what he did.

He (and seemingly MJ and Williams) is confusing understanding  with justifying. We can understand  how and why people did something bad. That’s very different to justifying it and thereby forgiving them.

Even in the over simplistic good/evil world of super hero comic books this is simply not how redemption works. In addition to the examples I listed in part 10 let’s consider an example from a comic book movie. 

Maybe you’ve heard of it, it’s called ‘Spider-Man’ from 2002. 

In the film a guy named Peter Parker confronts the man he believes murdered his uncle, the man who raised him. The criminal is scared but not apologetic for what he’s done, and he asks to be given a chance. Peter’s response is.

What about my uncle? Did you give him a chance?

We can very much apply this to AMJ. Beck wants a chance, MJ is giving him that chance. So I ask:

What about Gwyneth?

What about her parents?

What about her baby?

What about the families of the seniors Beck swindled?

What about the real Cage McKnight’s reputation?

What about all the people terrified by Beck’s tantrum in AMJ #2?

What about all the people Screwball or Kangaroo have hurt?

What about Dr. Winhorst?

What about all the people and all the animals harmed or killed when Doc Ock heated up half the globe?

What about all the people scared or hurt when he faked an alien invasion in ASM v5 #1?

Did Beck ever even hint he gave any of them the slightest chance?

No. He didn’t.

For God’s sake, a terrible story like ‘Venom: Lethal Protector’ wasn’t as naïve or childish as this story. Venom is called out for murdering a man’s son. He acknowledges this but tries to argue he didn’t mean  to kill him. The story though doesn’t let him off the hook for it.

If a 1990s Venom mini-series  can acknowledge a homicidal maniac shouldn’t be given a chance just because he’s sorry, then why the Hell can’t this story?

There is another great non-comic book example that illustrates this point. It comes from the Doctor Who episode ‘Boom Town’. Whilst not a comic book or superhero story, Doctor Who is often regarded as a cousin of sorts to the former. Marvel even made Doctor Who comics for a long time. 

In the episode in question, the Doctor shares a ‘last meal’ with an alien criminal whom he intends to hand over to the authorities.

She is guilty of murder, attempted genocide and fraud and identity theft in the vein of Beck; although she is literally wearing the skin of the person she’s impersonating. To gain the Doctor’s mercy she tries to prove she’s changed, specifically by explaining a time she spared a life. Earlier that day she readied herself to kill a young journalist sniffing around her plans, but refrained upon learning she was pregnant.

The Doctor believes the story but is totally unconvinced. He explains it doesn’t mean anything. Every now and then terrible people on a whim happen  to be kind and spare their would-be victims. It’s how they live with themselves.

Whilst Mysterio is probably nowhere near as bad as the alien criminal, his case for forgiveness is arguably worse.

He’s continuing to steal the real Cage McKnight’s identity, he has never indicated he’s going to continue to help people after the film is completed. He caused panic and would’ve caused harm had a third party (MJ) not intervened to keep him under control. And his equivalent of sparing a life amounts to giving other criminals the chance to help realize his personal vanity project.

Not to mention, MJ and Beck continuously insist upon the movie being something meaningful but how could they possibly know that. A movie isn’t meaningful just because it means something to the film makers. The audience decides if it’s meaningful or not. Frankly Beck’s insistence he’s giving his staff the chance to make something good and meaningful is egotistical. As though the mere act of film making or his own life story is inherently something with artistic merit or something meaningful in the universe.

Yes, some films are. But even then their ability to do something helpful and positive is relatively limited. A piece of media’s practical abilities to positively contribute to the universe is limited compared to say, donating time or money to the needy. At least there you would’ve done something with a definitive impact even if it was a small one. A movie like this might illicit emotions and make some people feel happy, might inspire them to do good, might make them understand themselves or another better. But the key words there are ‘might’ and ‘maybe’.

When you get right down to it, even the most influential movies don’t positively contribute helping people as much as individuals actually actively doing stuff to help others. I mean are we really  going to say the ‘Black Panther’ film had as much of a positive impact as the Civil Right Movement?

Absolutely not.

Let’s use a fictional example. Would the stage play about the Fantastic Four (as seen in ASM v5 #25) have been as meaningful as the efforts of the actual Fantastic Four in fighting Galactus?

Absolutely not.

I’m not saying films don’t matter or can’t have a meaningful positive impact. I’m just saying if Beck wanted to achieve the latter, there were better options than making a film about himself.

He could’ve donated his ill-gotten gains to needy communities. Or handed over his technology and techniques to the public? Or used his skills to expose white-collar criminals? Or even have started up a company selling his technology and employing criminals semi-legally reducing the need for them to resort to crime.

But he didn’t. He’s fulfilling his own personal dream and making himself centre stage.

As for MJ lying to Peter because she doesn’t want him to worry and has his own problems, see parts 17-18 for why that’s bullshit. And see parts 19-23 for why Peter, and MJ herself, should  be worried about her in this situation. And that was before the Savage Six made them a target, a fact that should have resulted in Peter already being worried.

Hypothetically even if this wasn’t something to worry about, MJ could be open about it with Peter and convince him to relax. He begrudgingly accepted her staying with him during Marvel Knights in spite of the dangers to herself.

She equally made him see sense in ‘Parallel Lives’ after their home had just been attacked.

Whilst this situation is  something to be concerned about, if MJ was in fact in no danger, then she could talk Peter around to trusting her.

I’ll also add she’s had plenty  of time to figure out ‘how to tell him’ the truth. She knows he’s living with Boomerang so right there that’s a potential route to breaking in the conversation. She could bring up Venom, or Sandman or Felicia. There are multiple people they’ve mutually given chances to that could be used as a way to engage with Peter on this topic. By this comic’s own brand of ‘logic’ those are perfectly viable arguments MJ could use.

Don’t get me wrong. Those are false equivalencies. But I’m just saying Williams’ clearly doesn’t think this situation is any different to those ones, therefore there are plenty of grounds for MJ to talk to Peter about this. She even has MJ say ‘of course’ Peter would understand.

It’s almost like Williams knows that this situation cannot actually be justified. Or she’s injecting contrived false drama for the sake of drama with no mind paid to established characterization.

Hence we get trite like MJ saying she ‘will have deceived’ Peter if she’s wrong about Mysterio. First of all, Williams is again acknowledging how asinine her narrative is. She’s acknowledging that MJ is gambling  that her judgement of Beck is on point. Her judgement of a guy who’s power set revolves around misdirection. Second of all, MJ wouldn’t have deceived Peter if  she’s wrong. She’s already  deceived him and is continuing to do so. Thirdly why exactly does Mary Jane get to be the singular person deciding if it is okay to gamble on Beck’s redemption? Who is she exactly to decide if this murderer and abuser is worth keeping out of jail?

In the real world if such a risk is taken it doesn’t ride upon one person’s  decision; at least not in theory.

Let’s move onto Master Matrix. Again, I don’t know enough about him to discuss Beck’s knowledge of him. Maybe it makes sense, or maybe it’s a big question that’s being left unanswered. Regardless, I detest framing Beck as this selfless redeemer through Master Matrix’s subplot. I hate it almost as much as I hate the nonsensical dialogue that follows it.

What the fuck does ‘earning it in reverse’ even mean? I guess it means living up to Beck’s trust? But then why not phrase it that way? Even if that was the intent, see above for why giving MM a chance doesn’t really mean anything. Not to mention, both MM and MJ are just kind of presuming that Beck was in fact being altruistic.

That’s all for now. We’ll resume coverage of the rest of the issue next time.

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[wordsturnintostories]

show me your rosettes, baby (g)

summary: The world tour is over and the Bangtan Boys finally get their well-deserved break. When Namjoon suddenly can’t find Jimin anywhere, things take an unexpected and pretty unbelievable turn. “Kim Namjoon!” “Hyung. How common is it for people to turn into cats?” word count: 11.7k note: sorry for not updating this baby in sooo long. i struggled with this chapter for three months and would have never gotten to this final version without @justanemptydream’s help. you saved me. thank you, love. anyway, last time i thought the chapter was long but now we’ve got an 11.7k monstrosity. let me know if you enjoyed reading it. toodles  ✨

masterlist | moodboard masterlist

[ prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven ]

The room is stunningly quiet apart from Jimin’s sleepy hiccups, the soft buzzing of the fish tank and the beeps that signal that the call is not yet connected. Unsure about what to expect, Sihyuk and Namjoon hold eye contact. Then, suddenly, a woman’s voice appears on the other side of the phone.

“Welcome, Bang Sihyuk, Kim Namjoon. I am your automated call agent today. We apologize for not being personally available to take your call at the moment. To continue, please choose an option from the menu. Press 1 to access all gathered data about Park Jimin, press 3 to-“

They both look at each other.

��What the hell.”

A bird caws outside the window. The fish in the tank swim in wobbly circles. Jimin sniffles and fails to lick his side. The silence - okay, it’s more of a shock-state, but the silence seems electric, like any word will change the current and any action will push them to a point of no return.

Namjoon starts a short body-mind check, feels his brain reboot. There are not many updates; he’s still sitting in the same chair in Bang Sihyuk’s office, Jimin is still wriggling around on his lap and they are still on the phone with the weird robot lady whose number they got from a magic business card. But his heart is pounding like it wasn’t before, and his eyes and mouth hang open wide. Actual shivers flow over his skin, matching the light reflexes from the tank, and Namjoon has a weird premonition that he will break something today. The silence is almost damp with shock, and probably only rings in his ears, like he’s a hero in an action movie who’s lost his sense of hearing after the explosion of the century.

Now, Namjoon knows a lot of things other people don’t know. He knows how to make music, great music according to ARMY and the charts, and he knows how to lead a group (although most of the time, he feels like he’s not actually doing anything, thanks to his hyungs). He knows how to survive a 40-event concert tour and he knows how to dislocate a shoulder without trying to. It’s the things Namjoon doesn’t know that scare him.

He doesn’t know how anyone could have possibly found out about Jimin’s condition - he’s been extra careful the past days, restraining himself from posting cat photos on their twitter and only letting Jimin out into their private backyard to avoid prying eyes. The only people he’s told about Jimin are Min Yoongi and Bang Sihyuk. Not even the other band members know about the leopard cub roaming their apartment and gnawing on their cushions. And yet, some company or organization has found out. 

Namjoon doesn’t know what to think - on the one hand, it could be very good. It could mean that the other company has no intention of blackmailing them. It could mean that there is interest in the topic but no pressure. On the other hand, this could be bad, very bad. To know that someone else is out there, with unclear motivations (because seriously, they could still blackmail BigHit for this), with an unknown amount of information - it could mean anything. Namjoon knows as well as any other person working for BigHit how fragile success is - no matter the foundation of work underneath. BigHit and BTS have worked years - long years that cost them their all - to rise up as far as they have today and the whole business is based completely on popularity, on opinions. Opinions can change quickly, especially in the music industry. One wrong move and your career is over. Namjoon knows all this. What he doesn’t know is whether Jimin will shift back, become human again (the doubt still lingers despite what Jackson says), whether BTS will be able to go on normally, whether their next shows will happen, whether Jimin will be okay. Because if he isn’t, BTS isn’t, and if BTS isn’t, BigHit isn’t either. That’s how it works. Namjoon knows that. And that’s why he looks up to Sihyuk for help.

Namjoon is sure that Sihyuk knows all these things too, that he’s thinking about them right this moment while Namjoon has to remember to breathe properly and both ways, in and out, to stuff back his rising anxiety (just like his therapist told him, in and out, in and out). Sihyuk stays pretty quiet for a long moment, looking back at Namjoon but not really looking at him directly, more like… through him like he’s not focused at all. Then, he shakes his head and himself out of his trance and grabs his phone. Another thing Namjoon knows (by heart) is this new look on Sihyuk’s face as he looks for the contact and dials. It’s the I’m-concerned-for-my-kids look that he’s been sporting less and less nowadays but that had been a constant companion during their first couple of years. 

The voice on the phone reels Namjoon back in from his observations, enough to catch the relieved “Good morning, Mrs. Kang”. It’s enough to let Namjoon know that the situation is very serious but hasn’t quite reached catastrophic levels yet. Mrs. Kang is their lawyer, not their emergency response unit. Mrs. Kang clears things up, does law research and manages their contract details. She’s not responsible for decisions concerning anything related to music or marketing or member conditions, so Namjoon manages to find some hope in the thought that all these things are not endangered. PDnim will take care of any new legal issues. We’ll be fine. 

Before he reroutes his full attention back to the words filtering through his phone, Namjoon takes a second to feel himself in the room - he thinks back to his therapist talking to him about unsettling situations and anxiety. Just ground yourself in the sounds and in the feeling of your body in the room - against the chair, against the floor, wherever you are. Feel the air around you and breathe in and out. What is near you? Feel it. Focus on that rather than the anxiety inside. Namjoon breathes in and for a second, he wishes he had Jungkook’s sense of smell because the office scent in his own nose is rather weak. He does smell Sihyuk’s perfume and the lingering residue of his own cologne on the soft collar of his coat. He feels the chair’s armrests that enclose his hips and the way his shoes line up perfectly with the floor. And most importantly, he feels Jimin pawing at his ankles in an eager attempt to be scooped up and cuddled, probably. It forces a pleasant smile on Namjoon’s face that he welcomes - as if the little leopard cub has managed to shush his anxiety completely. Rightfully so, Namjoon thinks as he grabs Jimin’s tiny body, legs and arms flailing around cutely in the air, tail curling around Namjoon’s wrist. Jimin’s eyes are wide and blue and just like a little plushie’s - big enough to stand out from the rest of his body proportions and big enough to lower your defenses to attack you with cuteness. Namjoon sets his dongsaeng down on his lap before picking up the call again only to realize that he hadn’t even responded last time - so now, the robot voice is tirelessly repeating the same menu choices as before.

“-mation we have gathered about Park Jimin, press 3 to apply for a regular membership or a VIP membership, press 5 to request medical or legal support, press 7 to be connected to our Shifter and Hybrid Needs network or press 9 for other issues.”

When his mind registers the options presented to him, Namjoon doesn’t know what to think. In all honesty, those options sound nothing like his paranoia had suggested to him before - it sounds like normal customer service and that bothers Namjoon because this is a magical number that Jackson had given him… right? To be honest, Namjoon doesn’t know what a phone call with a magical number should sound like, if there’s any sample he could go by - is there any K-drama he could watch that is even halfway accurate with these magical things? Maybe he should text Jackson later.

“H-Hi,” he cringes at how shaky his own voice sounds, “w-who am I talking to?”

“Forgive my manners, Namjoon-ssi. I am your automated call agent today. Our office staff is currently not available to take your call-“

It’s so strange. Namjoon has never encountered any automated call agent that responds to his voice, or rather, his words. Normally, those things present the options menu, wait for the number he presses, and react accordingly. He’s slightly confused by how this call goes right now and Jimin whines when the big fingers in the fur on his back still. Namjoon goes back to gently stroking the cub’s fur and frowns. What if this is not a normal machine?

“Are-are you an AI? Or are you a new kind of technology somehow?”

“I am an AMI, Namjoon-ssi, designed specifically to accommodate our many clients’ needs individually.” 

An AMI. He isn’t sure if that name was given on purpose, if that is part of the message that the other side wants to transmit - an AMI? Like, ARMY? Is it meant to… be a joke? A threat maybe? Does the female robot voice introduce itself (herself?) as AMI to everyone or just him? Namjoon’s brows are furrowed and he really doesn’t know what to think, only that wilder ideas arise the more he keeps thinking, so maybe he should stop. What if- what if this is not really a robot voice but an actual ARMY that uses some sort of voice contortion device? What if this is a Sasaeng? Alarm bells ring in Namjoon’s head. He isn’t sure whether that’s possible, whether this is a valid idea, but in the handful of years he’s been an idol, he’s learned that the world is crazy. Anything is possible, especially in BTS. He brushes his fingers through Jimin’s soft fur, letting the tail drag through his hands, relishes in the warmth under the fuzz and risks a look at Sihyuk, who is still talking to their lawyer. 

“There’s no sense in waiting longer, you’re right. Is there anything you can do to activate the contract clause faster?” and then, “Yeah, same as last time.”

Namjoon sits up a little straighter. A contract clause? What does he mean by that? What kind of contract clause - he sucks in a breath. Does BangPdnim - did he plan this somehow? Was he prepared for this kind of thing to happen? Also, same as last time? Has he done this before? Is there… maybe someone else like Jimin? Another shifter in the group? Wouldn’t Jackson have mentioned that? His thoughts swirl and Namjoon feels like he’s falling through his chair, into the ground, like there’s an endless bottom opening up underneath him. Like his world changes and all his breathing exercises from before have been completely useless. Once again, the voice - AMI - pulls him back into reality. He breathes unevenly and finds Jimin’s eyes. Innocent. Unknowing. Trusting. Namjoon’s heart pounds. It aches from his yearning to take care of Jimin well. To protect him.

“May I ask you to choose from the options, Namjoon-ssi. Main menu. Press 1 to access-“

“AMI, how can I change Jimin back? Is there anything I can give him? Maybe medication, or something?”

It’s a rushed question, a question tasting like panic and helplessness. Namjoon doesn’t know what’s going on, it scares him, and he needs to find a solution. If there is even the tiniest possibility of Jimin’s contract being changed up now that he is like this, and Jimin being at a disadvantage because of it, Namjoon will make sure to make it right. He shivers because normally, he wouldn’t hesitate to ask for Sihyuk’s help, but now? It’s all messed up, he doesn’t know what’s happening and what he can do. He needs to come up with solutions, and fast.

“Shifting is a process induced by hormones, Namjoon-ssi. There is medication to trigger a shift either way but it will majorly affect hormone levels of the patient and is not recommended to be taken on a regular basis.”

“Is there any other way?”

“Would you classify this situation as an emergency?”

Namjoon thinks. He looks at Jimin, then at Sihyuk. Catches the mumbled “Can’t have that happen. No one can find out” from the CEO’s lips. Feels breathless, like endless shame is gnawing through his heart for even allowing the mere thought of Sihyuk doing anything that could harm the members. He wouldn’t. Right? Right? But right now, Namjoon can’t really judge the situation well. He doesn’t have all the information, doesn’t know what a contract clause could do in this case, what it would be for, he doesn’t know. He kind of wishes he had Hobi or Yoongi by his side right now, to help him make decisions but also to help him keep a clear head. It would certainly make things more bearable. It feels like he’s actually stepped into that alternative universe from their Heartbeat music video, where impossible things are the norm and magical creatures float around everywhere. He doesn’t understand.

“Yes, I would say so,” he breathes.

“Understood,” AMI replies promptly, “Emergency response team has been alerted. Estimated arrival in 5 minutes. Please prepare to assist the medical examination by-“

Namjoon rushes to yell into the phone, “What- NO! No, no, no! It’s not that kind of an emergency! Jimin is fine, please don’t, there’s no need-“

Sihyuk sends a worried look into his direction, but Namjoon ignores it.

“Emergency response team on standby. Please confirm your previous directive. Is this an emergency?”

“We don’t need medical attention. Jimin is fine.”

“Understood. Main menu. Please choose from the options. Press 1 to-“

His shoulders sag in relief but he feels annoyed that AMI has moved back to the main menu again without even leaving room for discussion. It beeps when Namjoon presses the 1, maybe because he actually wants to know what this AMI knows about Park Jimin, maybe because he really feels bad for making her read the main menu so often and maybe because he doesn’t know what to do and needs to kill time so Sihyuk can do this phone call together with him and maybe even because he doesn’t know if this is important or not. So, he waits for AMI’s voice with bated breath.

“1,” AMI enunciates, “general data regarding Park Jimin. Nationality: Korean. Date of birth: 1997, June 5th. Gender: female. Species: White -“

“Wait, no. That’s uh, you’ve got the wrong Park Jimin.”

AMI is talking about Park Jimin who Namjoon had first met on the set of the After School Club together with Eric Nam, and he releases a breath of relief - and loses Jimin, who takes the chance to start exploring. Like the little troublemaker his kitty alter ego is (not really a big surprise when you think about how human Jimin’s mind works), he jumps right up where he probably shouldn’t be - on the desk. The desk where documents lay, where electronic devices buzz and where little objects look interesting enough to trigger a little cat’s curiosity.

“I apologize, Namjoon-ssi,” AMI says, sounding a little confused with her robotic voice, “would you like to change Park Jimin’s profile?”

“No, no. It’s just the wrong one. There’s another Park Jimin.”

“I apologize, Namjoon-ssi,” AMI repeats and Namjoon figures it’s just how she’s programmed, “would you like to register a new profile?”

“I don’t want to register anything, I just want-“

“Main menu. Press 1 to access-“

He groans. And there she goes again. Namjoon shuffled on his seat nervously, ignoring the little growls from Jimin somewhere further away. He risks a side glance to Jimin and feels soft amusement riding up his face when the cub rolls around playing and nibbling on a small BT21 Cooky’s ears. But then he hears AMI talking, persistently repeating the main menu and Namjoon isn’t sure if he can go wrong by choosing any of the options so he just dares to ask questions. He hopes it won’t get him into trouble.

“You mentioned legal advice. Why would we need legal advice?”

“Currently, there is very little official legislation regarding the Shifter and Hybrid community in Korea. Our legal department’s services are free and extend toward every member of the Shifter and Hybrid community in Korea. We offer-“

“And what about medical support? What kind of medical support would Jimin need?”

“Our organization connects clients to a network of professional veterinarians from all over the nation. However, we have specific 24/7 on-call staff trained to assess and treat Shifters and Hybrids specifically. We also connect to therapists, nutritionists, and skin & fur care professionals if needed.”

Namjoon isn’t sure what that means, only that it actually sounds like robot lady is trying to sell them something now. Hadn’t she talked about a membership before? He feels his leg bounce impatiently. When will Sihyuk be done? Should I just wait for him? Maybe we should just discuss this before anything else-

“Namjoon-ssi, Park Jimin is currently ingesting Samsung printer ink, which can be very toxic for a leopard cub his age, please-“

As if hit by a sudden strike of lighting, Namjoon feels his body move on its own. His eyes shoot up, focusing immediately on his kitty dongsaeng playing with a dark little ink cartridge by the printer. His thumb smashes that end-call button before letting the phone collide with the table in an ugly crash. He lunges forward to grab Jimin from the desk.

“Jiminie! Don’t do that,” he scolds and feels terror spread at the sight of the little leopard wiggling in his grasp, ears drawn back in shock, cheeks and chest soaked in splashes of blue, magenta and yellow ink. “What are you thinking!”

The cub meows pitifully but doesn’t let his words match his actions with all the feisty squirming. Once again, he seeks out the help of his claws that definitely pierce Namjoon’s skin. With his concentration completely on Jimin - it’s honestly a relief that the call is over so that he can deal with one issue at the time - he jumps when Sihyuk suddenly yells a curse through the room.

“What is happening!? Namjoon-ah, what did you do?”

Namjoon whines. It’s not his fault Jimin is prone to get himself into situations like this - he’s too curious, too adventurous and too tiny for the world right now and apparently, he likes making a mess with colored liquids. The toothpaste had been harmless of course, so it wasn’t a big deal, but Namjoon can’t deny it doesn’t give him a half a heart attack looking at Jimin with those stains in his fur. He looks like a little rainbow-kitty somehow. If this wasn’t so serious, Namjoon would take photos. He knows Jimin would coo and laugh at this later and Taehyung would declare it authentic art.

“I’m sorry, hyung! I didn’t pay attention for a second and- do you have tissues?”

Sihyuk throws him a package of wet tissues from some shelf by the wall, but like Namjoon expects, it basically doesn’t do anything to get the ink out of the leopard’s fur. It doesn’t look like Jimin minds or like he even understands the fuss (he purrs when Namjoon rubs his body down), but the humans certainly do. Namjoon sinks back into his chair and sighs, one of his hands brushing through his own hair in an attempt to calm himself. It takes a second to just calm down from the pulsing shock, so he just lets Jimin play with his hands until the little leopard loses interest and starts nosing Namjoon’s belly, the pockets of Namjoon’s jeans, and puts his tiny paws on Namjoon’s thighs, looking up.

“How are you so tiny and still such a troublemaker, Jiminie?”

Jimin stays in his position for quite a bit as if he wants to say something but Namjoon doesn’t get the hint, doesn’t know what Jimin wants, and realizes AMI is still talking. By now, he considers just hanging up and calling Jackson. Or one of the hyungs. He could really use a hyung now, just a steady, calming presence next to him like in English interviews or Award Shows. Jimin, who still has his nose buried in Namjoon’s jeans (where his pockets are), whines. 

“What is it, baby, huh? What do you need?”

The little leopard only snuffles wetly along Namjoon’s pockets (which are empty) and when the rapper tries to grab the cat, Jimin hisses. But then he slips because he’s a clumsy little thing with only a short, shivering tail that doesn’t know how to balance the body attached to it and his paws lose grip on Namjoon’s thigh so he glides off the side. Luckily, Namjoon’s reflexes are quick enough to shoot after his dongsaeng and grab his leg so that he can lift the kitty back up his lap before anything can happen. (He pictures the scene like one of those Dads grabbing their kid falling from the couch in those Dad-compilations. It’s epic.) He yelps when Jimin’s tiny fangs sink into his hand. He receives a vicious hiss on top and feels betrayed.

“Jimin! Don’t bite me like that! I saved you. No need to be so ungrateful.”

But the cub doesn’t seem to feel grateful or repentant and continues his search for whatever it is he hopes to find in Namjoon’s pockets. It’s a tad irritating to be ignored like this when normally, Jimin is so thoughtful and kind.

“If you feel bratty like this, you can gladly spend the rest of our time back in the box.”

At this, Jimin does look up and for a second, Namjoon feels something spark in his chest. Did he understand that? Did he understand me?

“The box? Do you want to go back into the box? Maybe that’s not such a bad idea, huh? You could nap a bit and you’ll feel much better.”

He gets up slowly, trying to grab Jimin on the way, but the little cub struggles too much so that Namjoon has to set him down to not have his hands torn up.

“C’mon, baby. We’ll put you back until you feel better, huh?”

All his hope is crushed when Jimin avoids the box like it’s hell even if he seemed to like it so much before. Any attempt to shoo him near the box fails and after a couple of minutes chasing the kitty around, Namjoon gives up. He goes back to his chair, plopping down and watching as Jimin tapers off to run circles in front of the fish tank and eventually trods over to Sihyuk’s feet. That, in turn, has Namjoon on edge, because Sihyuk is busy and concentrated on the phone call and Jimin is tiny and Namjoon knows from experience how easy the cub is to overlook and almost step on. But the CEO smiles at Namjoon and gives him a thumbs up. He straightens up and stands with his feet planted firmly on the ground, not bouncing on the balls of his feet like he usually does when on the phone. When Jimin starts to roll around, making it his mission to catch Sihyuk’s shoelaces, the man chuckles fondly. It’s a relief and Namjoon can’t believe he thought Sihyuk would somehow maybe make a bad choice just because Jimin turned into a baby animal.

“Yes, please let me know what options we have,” the CEO says. “Thank you.”

Namjoon uses the minute of peace and quiet to send a text to Jackson.

> Hey man, what exactly is the number on the card for? Why do they call themselves an AMI? Is it the same as ARMY?

He doesn’t get an answer immediately, so he stares at the little 1 in their Kakao chat for as long as he can and sighs when he turns his phone back off. 

“Who are you trying to reach?” Sihyuk whispers, covering the microphone with his hand. 

“Jackson.”

“GOT7 has their promotions in Europe now, don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t text back quickly.”

Jimin seems to get tired of playing with Sihyuk’s shoelaces and goes back to doing his own tour of the office. His little tail quivers in excitement as he sniffs every corner and rolls around on the carpet. Every now and then, there’s a little squeak that Namjoon finds adorable and that he wishes he could save in his heart for bad days. Namjoon focuses back on Sihyuk’s phone call. He can already see the many meetings with managers and staff this change could potentially cause; meetings to accommodate Jimin’s needs and to make sure everything stays under wraps for as long as possible. Or, depending on the outcome of the phone call, (Namjoon has assured himself by now that it will not end in a cancellation of Jimin’s contract because Sihyuk would never let go of Jimin, who is basically one of his fifteen children), a new round of contract negotiations. For the entire group, possibly, depending on the details Mrs. Kang will present to them. Namjoon hopes they can find a beneficial solution for everyone.

Suddenly, a strange sound moves into his focus, persistently interrupting his strategic thoughts. Scratch, scratch, scratch. It’s a weird scratching, not like a scratch on skin or wood or maybe clothes. It sounds different, like fabric snagging on something sharp and being released and Namjoon turns his head to look for the origin of the sound. There’s something in the corner of his eye that rouses suspicion. Jimin. Jimin is kneading the carpet. Alarm bells ring in Namjoon’s mind immediately. Kneading, scratching, peeing. It’s an established pattern that he’s observed during the past days. So far, his success rate of removing Jimin from a place like this (aka. a place that’s not his litter box) and carrying him some other place (aka. the backyard) stands at a proud 80%. However, the memories of the other 20% spur him on and Namjoon is out of his chair faster than he can even think about a plan. 

Jimin startles at the sudden movement and jumps out of the way when the rapper tries to grab him. He’s much quicker than his tiny legs suggest and runs to hide behind the big pot that holds the pretty rosé-blossom tree by the wall that backs against the hallway. He probably thinks the big pot will hide him well until Namjoon shows up again, still aware of what’s at stake here (the carpet, Jimin’s new reputation, and both Namjoon’s and Sihyuk’s sanity). In a determined effort to keep Sihyuk’s office sanitary and welcoming, he sneaks up on the leopard. Hands grab air and Namjoon groans. When he turns around, he notices the little tail peeking out from below Sihyuk’s desk. 

The CEO by the window himself doesn’t seem to notice what’s going on and Namjoon kind of feels like he could have used AMI’s emergency team after all. This is the second, no third emergency of the day and maybe, okay just maybe, Namjoon thinks he might have done something bad in his previous life so that the universe thought it would be fair to make him his dongsaeng’s babysitter. Suddenly, a VIP membership sounds tempting… do they offer babysitter services?

“Jimin-ah,” he whispers, “I swear, if you even think about peeing under hyung’s desk…”

Namjoon approaches slowly. If anything, he figures he should approach the leopard in a smart way. He’s aware that he probably doesn’t have much time left before the cat’s urge to relieve itself becomes insurmountable, so he tells himself to get it all over with quickly. What’s the best way to get Park Jimin to do almost anything you want? Sweet-talk. Namjoon approaches slowly and kneels. Before him, he sees the paper bin underneath the desk, a ton of (neatly bound) cables and the wooden legs of the table. Crouching, he grabs around the garbage can, meeting an amused meow that almost sounds like he’s laughing. Again, Jimin flees before Namjoon can get a hold of him.

“Ah, come on Jimin-ah, my cutest, prettiest, loveliest dongsaeng,” he coaxes, “You were doing so good yesterday, kitten…”

But Jimin doesn’t come back. He just sits on the carpet, tauntingly close, with a lively glint in his eyes. Jimin is watching Namjoon and the rapper doesn’t fail to note the excitement that lets the cat’s tail whip around wildly. So this is a game to you, huh?

When suddenly two legs appear right next to Namjoon’s face, he yelps. His hand gets tangled in some cable on the floor. He slips and slams his head against the metal paper bin, making it fall and spill everywhere. A nasty burn hits his temple and when he reaches up to touch the skin there, the cable around his hand pulls taut. Namjoon’s bad luck is endless, apparently, because something tumbles and crashes upon the table. Sihyuk lets out a yelp. Like a miscalculated movement in the shower, a quick burst of water hits Namjoon from above. He shrieks, feeling the wetness settle and hopes Sihyuk didn’t have any important documents out on the table. He doesn’t pay attention, but he can feel Jimin watching him from the carpet with amused eyes. When he looks, the little leopard rolls around, looking the most Jimin-like ever - like he’s laughing so hard that he just has to throw his body against something.

“Namjoon-ah!” Sihyuk yells, albeit more urgent than angry, “where are you? Kim Namjoon!”

“I’m here,” Namjoon groans, still rubbing his forehead. He’s sure the spot’s gonna be blue tomorrow. Yoongi’s gonna have a good laugh for sure.

“Where is here?”

The rapper crawls out from underneath the table. He sees movement from the corner of his eye but focuses on Sihyuk.

“No, I’m talking to Kim Namjoon,” he says into the phone and looks up only to have his eyes widen with a really panicked look in them. He jumps up, pointing into the room. “Don’t let him pee in there! That Sakura tree is from the President!”

When Namjoon whips his head around, making a cascade of water fly everywhere, he finds Jimin not on the carpet like he’d assumed, but in the big plant pot along with the Japanese tree. Jimin is walking around the stem of the little tree like he’s got a monopoly on the spot. From the body language, Namjoon can tell that the cat is calm and relaxed. Ideal for business. Oh no.

“Yes, hyung!”

Namjoon runs like he hasn’t in a long time (the couple days that he’s been on this pseudo-vacation) and finally snatches an unassuming Jimin right out of the tree pot, hands grabbing for the cat with so much determination that he even scoops up some earth. He hears mewling. It doesn’t matter, nothing matters in this emergency, and Namjoon looks around, nerves strung high, adrenaline rushing. He frowns when he realizes that there’s no litter box over here in the office. That leaves him with only one option: A dash for the bathroom. 

Quickly, he runs to the door. There’s a moment of hesitation. He isn’t sure how he should hide Jimin from all the people in the building but considering that the bathrooms aren’t really far away, he hopes no one will cross his way. (Especially now that Jimin looks so violently colorful). A thought crosses his mind. What if Sejin is still outside? There’s a possibility that the manager has gone to his own office to get some work done while waiting but there’s also the possibility that he’s out there and springs up at the door opening and sees Jimin right away. It’s nothing I have control over, Namjoon reassures himself. He feels Jimin’s little cry in his heart and nods. Let’s go.

Stepping out into the hallway feels a bit like coming out of the shower - out of the cozy, safe warmth and into the frightening cold outside. When Jimin keeps wriggling, softly crowing his discomfort, Namjoon repositions him so that his hands won’t press on the leopard’s belly so much. He looks to the side and freezes. Sejin is on the sofa. Luckily, he’s got his eyes glued to his phone and doesn’t seem to have noticed Namjoon yet - and Namjoon is determined not to let it happen either. Before Jimin can make any loud sounds, Namjoon turns and runs. He does manage to run with Jimin in front of his torso so he isn’t visible from behind. Even if Sejin were to look after them, Jimin would be out of view. Namjoon keeps his eyes on the hallway door until a yell comes from behind.

“Kim Namjoon! Wait up!”

Don’t stop, keep running, Namjoon tells himself, glad that the 6km are a result on his step counter every day, not Sejin’s. Sure, Sejin jogs and stays in shape but Namjoon dances and runs around and is much younger too, so he doesn’t even pant as he takes the next turn to the left and runs towards the men’s bathrooms. The door doesn’t budge when Namjoon uses the handle. A flare of adrenaline-induced panic drips down Namjoon’s chest and he wants to curse. He finds a sign that says “Out of order”. Great. Now, where to?

It’s a good thing that Namjoon is so familiar with the building. Practically, this is the building’s office level that BTS members don’t necessarily have to visit very often. But Namjoon is a regular guest in all kinds of offices, so he is not at a great disadvantage. He knows the way, knows a couple of bathrooms strewn all over the levels. It takes a few risks to bring Jimin there as fast as possible - Namjoon dodges people but almost knocks the head of the PR department off his feet as he rounds a corner and gets drenched in coffee. He runs on, apologizing with a quick but deep bow that almost makes him stumble, takes the stairs and finally, finally reaches the end of the next hallway, the men’s bathroom, an empty stall, and holds a trembling Jimin over the toilet. The leopard fusses, not liking the feeling of being held like this, in the air over an abyss of water. He whimpers. 

“C’mon Jiminie, look at me, I ran all the way over here for you,” he says, “give it some effort.”

It’s a moment of desperation but Namjoon feels warm inside (well, he’s sweating). He’s looking at Jimin and suddenly, he feels like he’s in a film, like he’s a Dad trying to potty-train his kid. Jimin shivers, ears flicking and turning constantly and even Namjoon’s gentle attempts to coax him into peeing don’t help. Those big blue eyes look like they’re gonna burst with tears at any moment. Can cats cry?

“You’re doing it wrong,” someone says behind him.

Namjoon jerks and swears he would have almost let Jimin drop. It’s Sejin and that means that Namjoon’s only got two options. Maybe Sejin knows what’s going on, maybe he doesn’t. In this moment, Namjoon doesn’t even let his fear of being discovered bubble up. He’s here to fix an issue, solve a problem, so he’s gotta get on with it. Sejin is on his side, so whatever happens, he’ll help. Namjoon is sure.

“Sorry,” Sejin says, breathing a little heavy as well, “just let him sit. Cats don’t like to be touched while peeing.”

Namjoon nods, suddenly feeling grateful that it’s Sejin who’s come after him. Sejin is the kind of hyung who just sees the need and helps, no matter what. There’s not a single occasion Namjoon can think of where Sejin has refused to help any member of the group. Of course, one could argue that it’s his job but Namjoon has seen people do their jobs and finds that Sejin is doing more than just a job - he’s taking care of Bangtan with passion and foresight, and sees their relationship as a way to install his substitute-Dad-wisdoms in them.

“He’s too small for the toilet though. He’ll fall in.”

“You need something like a litter box.”

Sejin moves around, drawing out a plastic container from below the sink. It’s a plastic container filled with wet tissues, deodorant the PR people keep in here for emergencies, and some excess paper towel rolls. Sejin fills it up with toilet paper and lets Namjoon place Jimin in it. Jimin circles the container, meows and finally seems satisfied. Namjoon looks away when the cub crouches. He doesn’t need to see that, cause it’s creepy, and rather turns his attention to Sejin.

“Not that I mind, but… why does your cat look like my three-year old’s drawings?”

Namjoon doesn’t know why but somehow, this question is so funny to him that he just starts to laugh - he laughs and laughs and when he’s done, he feels like somehow, a knot around his heart has loosened. He feels lighter than before and breathes. He’s tired but Sejin is here with him, and he knows it will be okay. Here on the cold tiles of the bathroom door, Namjoon finds a revelation coming to him. It approaches as he watches Sejin prepare the litter box for Jimin and unravels as Jimin joyfully runs a circle in it before crouching. It hits, however, in this moment of innocent glee, when Namjoon just enjoys the fact that their manager and friend is here with him. I’m not supposed to do this alone, Namjoon realizes, I was never meant to do it alone. He almost feels stupid that this feels like a revelation to him - he’s the leader of a seven-member group and still, his mind had automatically turned to selfie mode. But then again, he had felt so alone, this morning in the cold apartment, without any of the other members yelling around and sneaking Namjoon’s breakfast off his plate. His heart warms up as he watches Sejin smile at Jimin.

“Thanks for running after me and helping, hyung,” Namjoon says, grateful for the way the bathroom acoustics make it sound so much bigger, “I really appreciate it.”

Sejin smiles. “I’ll always help you, Namjoon-ah. Just let me know what I can do.”

There are some occurrences in life - sort of like déjà-vus - that make Namjoon hold his breath. Maybe it’s not that significant, but the way Sejin sounds like Seokjin almost makes Namjoon tear up right now. In his heart, he feels himself looking forward to the moment Seokjin’s banter echoes through their apartment again, the moment Namjoon steps through the door and looks into his hyung’s face. The moment Seokjin will hug him whether Namjoon wants to or not, and the moment he’ll feel his hyung breathe against his neck in a warm, friendly embrace. And the moment of relief, where Namjoon tells all the members what’s going on, where they talk over one another in an attempt to encourage Jimin and make him giggle in glee. It’s all gaining color and shape in Namjoon’s mind and with the image, hope and courage rise inside of him. Everything will be fine, and even with Jimin’s nagging self-doubt and perfectionism and whatnot, they will find a way. They will push the bad things away. Together.

“It’s great to have you on the team, hyung, seriously. I don’t know if I ever said this, but I’m really grateful for you.”

“Aw, cute. Why are you so sentimental all of a sudden?”

Namjoon shrugs, eyes turning back to Jimin so Sejin won’t see how mushy Namjoon feels inside, how much more he could say but won’t because he doesn’t want his hyung to suffocate under the avalanche of compliments and heartfelt emotions he’s still got in store. The right dosage is important, Namjoon-ah, he remembers Yoongi saying back in the dark, one shared night in their four-year-old studio chairs with takeout in their hands, don’t overwhelm people with your words. You’re too powerful with words sometimes, people don’t know what to do with it. It’s your superpower, so use it responsibly.

“I still don’t know why your cat looks like he’s just come back from a children’s birthday party.”

“PDnim tried to fix his own printer again. He left an ink cartridge on the desk and this little baby,” Namjoon pokes Jimin, who just meows, “was a bit too curious.”

“I don’t understand hyung. I told him he’s got an assistant for stuff like that.”

“He’s stubborn.”

“Yeah,” Sejin chuckles and they both watch how Jimin lifts one leg over the walls of the make-shift litter box, one after the other, very carefully. He catches on the rim with the last paw and lands on his snout with a soft thud. Following the momentum, he stumbles right into Namjoon’s shin and looks up wide-eyed like he can’t believe he just did that. Namjoon isn’t sure why he expects to see tears - probably because Tae is making him watch all those baby and toddler videos lately - but Jimin just whines, stands up and starts climbing Namjoon’s leg. 

“Aish, always so clumsy, baby,” Namjoon mumbles, cooing at the tiny cat in his arms. “You scared me, baby. I thought you hurt yourself. Are you okay?” He kisses Jimin on the head but lets him sniff at Sejin’s hands when he tries to. He doesn’t give much of a reaction, which is not necessarily bad - it’s not a rejection. Sejin smiles and scratches Jimin behind the ears. The cub purrs against Namjoon’s hand, happily closing his eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“Didn’t hyung fill you in already?”

“When? In the five seconds when you ran from me?”

“Good point. So, er-“ Namjoon takes a deep breath. There’s something about sitting on bathroom floors, something cold that makes you share your warmth and your inner thoughts, Namjoon thinks as he looks at Sejin. It’s a BigHit bathroom, so it’s clean, nothing like a public bathroom, but still - the floor under his feet makes him feel a bit bare, a bit lonely even if he’s not, and makes him want to not keep secrets.

“So, I uh… Well, Jimin, and I know it sounds er-strange, turned into a cat two days ago and I basically don’t know what I’m doing.”

Sejin does look surprised, looking back and forth between Jimin and Namjoon a couple times, as if he’s trying to figure out whether he’s become a victim to a prank or something.

“Are you serious?”

“I am. It’s not exactly… a great time but I’m glad this didn’t happen during our tour last year.”

“Wow. How are you so calm about this?”

“Well, I’ve had two days to come to terms with this now. But still, it’s a mess, hyung. I think I did well taking care of him so far, but it’s all a mess.”

“Remember when we first met, you and I?”

“Oh God,” Namjoon groans, “I don’t think I will ever forget that.”

“You were a mess back then too. So it’s okay, I can deal with a mess. I’m used to it,” the manager nudges Namjoon in the side with his elbow and Namjoon nods. It’s nice hearing that, and fitting, if Namjoon honestly thinks about their relationship. Yeah, Sejin has seen and has fixed messes left and right. Namjoon’s heart feels a little lighter when he hears those words. Jimin nuzzles into his hand in his lap and Namjoon feels a pang of affection travel through his body.

“Life is life, huh?”

It’s what Jimin and he have always been saying, ever since their first trip to LA. Life isn’t always fair, not always good, actually a lot less than good a lot of the time, but together, it’s not as bad and even great sometimes. Jimin curls into Namjoon’s lap, letting his body drop as if he’s too tired to hold it up much longer. He wants to be carried like the little maknae line member he is, starving for affection and attention.

“Should we go back?”

“What do we do with the litter box?”

“Do you have one at home?”

“Er, no. Jimin went outside for the past couple of days.”

“In the backyard!? Where people walk? Yah, Kim Namjoon! Also, think about your dongsaeng. That can’t be hygienic! Don’t tell me you really let Jimin outside every time he-“

Namjoon has to grin because of the scolding but blushes. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Well, that’s not allowed anymore. Do you at least have cat food or anything?”

“Not really. I promise I’ll work harder to be well prepared, hyung!”

“I see. Let’s drop off Jiminie and go cat-shopping. If he is a baby like this, we need to take care of him well, right?”

“Drop him off where?”

Sejin just pulls out his phone and dials a number. Namjoon can’t see the caller ID, but he doesn’t feel the need to ask either. When someone picks up and Sejin starts to rant, he sounds almost like a fake-enraged Seokjin. It’s like the familiar feeling replaces a little cavity-like hole in Namjoon’s heart that’s started to build the moment the members left for their vacations. It forces him to smile.

“Yoongi-yah, I’ve told you a dozen times not to bring your sick children to work.”

“Jimin is here?”

Sejin falters when the enthusiasm that breaks the mumble that is Yoongi’s work voice sounds through the speaker. Jimin squeaks suddenly, asking to be let down, so Namjoon lifts him up and makes him look right into his eyes. For a moment, he ignores that Jimin doesn’t understand and just hopes that his plea will get through. Namjoon tells the cub firmly not to create any trouble right now. Then, Yoongi speaks to him.

“Namjoon-ah, how are you holding up? Everything okay?”

“Honestly, hyung? It’s a mess. I’m a mess. Jimin is fine, but I don’t think I am.”

His thoughts fly back to the office. Sihyuk’s phone call with their lawyer, all that secretive talk about contracts and even the phone call with AMI. He remembers his confusion, his doubts, his fears - fears for Jimin, who innocently tries to climb up Sejin’s shins. There’s a rustle on the other side of the line that makes Namjoon’s heart beat suspiciously fast with some sort of anticipation. 

“Okay, stay where you are. Don’t worry, hyung is coming, hyung will take it from here.”

Sejin makes a face and Namjoon feels the exact same way. Baffled. What’s going on? What’s with the sudden rush of affection? 

“No need to baby me-“

“Oi, hyung is on his way, yeah? Where are you guys?”

“The bathroom by the PR department.”

Namjoon feels oddly confirmed. As if Yoongi’s sudden overbearing and sweet response was a wink from the universe. You’re not meant to do this alone, Namjoon. His stomach does a little jump at how much comfort Yoongi offers to him just by referring to himself as hyung (which Yoongi rarely does for him). Namjoon’s mind tells him that Yoongi will only baby him now that Taehyung and Jungkook are gone but in secret, behind really thick doors, Namjoon feels a tiny voice wishing for it to be a regular treatment. Namjoon has got Yoongi’s full hyung focus, even if he hasn’t explicitly asked for it. He knows that all the hyungs are attuned to the younger members’ needs but sometimes he forgets that he’s one of them. The leader position can be both a blessing and a curse. 

When Yoongi opens the bathroom door and steps in and Jimin pounces forward with a string of excited chirps, not letting himself get held down by anything or anyone, Namjoon’s eyes widen. Yoongi kneels, scooping up Jimin, totally enveloping the leopard baby against his chest.

“Did you miss me, baby? Ah, I bet you missed hyung so bad, huh? Aish, what did they do to you, hm? You’re all messy. Don’t worry, they’re all idiots who mean well. But hyung will take care of you now.”

Namjoon listens to Jimin’s sweet, chirpy responses that really sound like the kitty is trying to answer Yoongi. They look perfect together, Lil Meow Meow and the cub. Sejin seems to think the same because he’s sneakily taking pictures from the side. Namjoon makes the mistake of thinking that it’s all Yoongi is going to say. He doesn’t expect Yoongi to step forward and look right into his eyes even while Jimin keeps rubbing his cheeks against Yoongi’s heart.

“And how’s my other baby? Running around, destroying everything, coloring his dongsaeng? Tell hyung how to fix it, yeah?”

It’s the weirdest thing ever - Namjoon doesn’t know what exactly it is with Yoongi’s words (maybe it’s the way they float over to him like the steam over a cup of his favorite tea, like they aren’t meant to tease when you just allow yourself to feel them properly) but they make Namjoon’s composure crumble. His cheeks feel wet all of the sudden and he’s sniffing (not bawling, thank God) and leaning into Yoongi’s big hand cupping his cheek.

“It’s not your fault, hey,” Yoongi hushes him and he finds himself under the direct but tender attention of his hyung. “I wish you would have let me know that you needed me so I could come to help you out, you know. That’s what I’m here for.”

“You’re here to rap,” Namjoon sniffles, trying to swallow down his wild emotions.

“And yet I dance like a god.”

Namjoon snorts. 

“It’s not like I can only do one thing at a time, Namjoon-ah. I thought you knew that.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, hyung. Thank you for your support.”

Jimin begins nosing around Yoongi’s chest and arms now. Namjoon nudges Yoongi.

“Hyung, he’s been doing that since a while, what-?”

“He’s hungry. Did you bring any food?”

Wow. That makes so much sense. Jimin is hungry. How did I not understand that? It makes so much sense now that Namjoon knows what it means. 

“I-I brought shrimps.”

For some reason, Yoongi doesn’t look impressed or happy. 

“It’ll do,” he mumbles and moves to walk out of the bathroom. “Let’s go.”

“Manager-hyung and I thought we could go shopping in a bit, we wanted to leave Jimin with you. We’ll buy everything Jimin needs.”

“We could definitely need some cat equipment. Bring one of those fluffy little stick-thingies that cats like to play with. Those are fun.”

“Uh, sure,” Namjoon nods, absolutely not sure if a) he knows what Yoongi means, b) stores will have a “fluffy little stick-thingy that cats like to play with” or if c) a store employee will be able to translate the term for Namjoon. He’ll give it a try anyway. “I just need to get my jacket.”

“Maybe buy some rubbing alcohol as well.”

“What do you want with rubbing alcohol, hyung?”

“Clean this little baby. As much as the color explosion is cute, I doubt it’ll be good for him if he licks it up. Isn’t that right, Jiminie?”

Jiminie doesn’t respond. He’s fallen asleep, probably overwhelmed by the chaos around him. Namjoon feels slightly guilty for putting him through so much stress. Yoongi is obviously so much better at this. I should have just asked him to watch over Jimin. Namjoon knows that’s his own shadow talking, his disappointment at his own clumsiness that still haunts him sometimes. But it still feels like a real feeling, even if it’s a lie, and Namjoon’s shoulders sag at the sight of the little leopard breathing softly into Yoongi’s neck. 

Namjoon doesn’t say a word on their way back to the office and doesn’t even listen to Yoongi and Sejin discussing which cat toys and foods should be bought and how big their monthly budget should be for cat necessities. When the three of them enter Sihyuk’s office, it kind of looks a bit thrashed - Namjoon’s chair is on its side in the middle of the room (it must have toppled over when Namjoon had rushed to grab Jimin), there’s clearly a wet spot around Sihyuk’s desk, an even bigger mess underneath the table and a trail of earth leading from the Sakura plant to the door. Namjoon’s head threatens to hang even lower at the visible chaos (and the “oh wow, what happened here” that slips through Sejin’s lips) but Sihyuk’s voice cuts through his thoughts.

“Option 1. Let’s hear what you have.”

Namjoon’s brows furrow. How-? Is he on the phone with AMI? Then, curiosity rises. Will AMI tell Sihyuk the same as him?

“Option 1. Park Ji-” AMI pauses, almost as if she is thinking, “Good morning, Min Yoongi, Kim Sejin.”

Namjoon shivers. How does this supposedly automatic robot know who is in the room? How can they know? Maybe it’s this uncertainty that makes him feel so uneasy. Could it be that they are watching us? It sounds a little crazy in his mind, but he honestly doesn’t have a clue how else she would know. Maybe it’s magic. Namjoon sighs.

“Option 1. Park Jimin. Date of birth: 1997, June 5th. Gender: female; Nationality: Korean; Spe-“

“That’s not what I asked. Tell me what you have on my kid.”

Sihyuk sighs, visibly disgruntled with how this call is turning out. But the way he said my kid, it makes Namjoon grin fondly. Even if he’s not the person in question, he feels loved. Namjoon can’t help but smirk at how strictly Sihyuk deals with anything that has to do with the Bangtan Boys. Now that the CEO is on it, everything will be fine. AMI stays silent for a while, almost as if she is processing the request or gathering information or something.

“Option 1. Park Jimin. Date of birth: 1994, October, 13; Gender: male; Nationality: Korean; Species: Korean leopard; Genetic Expression: Dominant; Blood Type: A. Species warnings: strong predatory drive, exceptional senses and strength, possibly sensitive to aggressive behavior, solitary and nocturnal behavior; Species requirements: meat-based diet, extensive territory, regular physical exertion; Currently scheduled appointments: Physical Exam 1 by on-duty Shifter Staff of Seoul District.”

“Finally. Now, I would like to know how you have attained this load of information about Park Jimin and how you justify keeping it without our consent.”

“Sir, may I remind you that I am merely an AMI, and cannot substitute for your assigned customer client. I am however able to book an appointment for you with one of our staff…”

Yoongi makes a noise next to Namjoon. Even Sejin shuffles around on his feet. Namjoon feels slightly nauseous. He goes to sit down and Yoongi chooses to stand by his side, hand touching Namjoon’s neck, a soothing message of reassurance. Which is needed. This is a lot. A lot more than expected and somewhat scary, even in the face of 14 million wild Armys knowing more than is healthy about each member of BTS. As the information sinks in, Namjoon realizes that there are two options with this. Either, this is a terrible situation in which the robot lady and her organization are actually a threat, or they are a help and genuinely assist Jimin without any hidden agenda or contract. Heck, this would be so much easier as a commercial offer. Commercial offers are easy to deal with - you either accept, negotiate, or decline. BigHit gets hundreds of them every month, but this-? This is something else entirely.

“Who is your employer?”

“I apologize, Sihyuk-ssi. I am not authorized to communicate confidential information to clients.”

“I’m not your client.”

“Sir, please understand that the law requires for every shifter to be listed in our registry - which includes the scheduled check-ups and following classes-“

“Classes?”

“Sihyuk-ssi, we are required by law to ensure that every person in our registry knows their rights and understands their body. We are simply providing an educational tool to prevent diseases as well as help Shifters and Hybrids to live well. Our organization was founded with these goals in mind.”

“Let’s talk this through with our lawyer. I would like to make use of an appointment. For now, please do enter Park Jimin into your registry.”

“Very well. I will now propose a date for you with one of our customer service staff.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” Sihyuk says once he puts down his phone (he has to look for a good spot for a few seconds because there’s printer ink all over his desk). He looks into their faces. Namjoon can see how affected he is by this situation - a situation that turns tables and reshapes their group dynamics, possibly.

“Hey Yoongi,” he smiles. “Did you get the USB stick I sent you?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods, “I got it. What I’ve heard so far sounded great but I’ll look though it tomorrow. Thanks, PDnim.”

Sihyuk also greets Sejin but Namjoon doesn’t really listen anymore. He just wants to get the box and go home - no, right, he wanted to go shopping with Sejin. Namjoon is so tired. It’s like with a high-focus test where you hold up your concentration for so long but when it’s over, you feel your entire existence slack with exhaustion. He shifts in his chair.

Sihyuk’s eyes fall on Namjoon. “You okay?”

“No.”

“Namjoon, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re probably overthinking.”

“Hyung, how are we supposed to have our comeback like this? I looked at the schedules, it’s soon. What if Jimin shifts in the middle of a concert? What if we can’t get him to shift back? Even this robot lady said there’s no medication. It’s impossible to be an artist like us when you turn into a cat like this. It’s impossible.”

“Okay, listen. This situation is not unfixable and not impossible to solve, Namjoon-ah. We can do anything.”

“We can’t do everything, hyung.”

“Did I or did I not set you up to meet Warren G before you were famous?”

Namjoon blushes. Right.

“You did.”

“I did. That was impossible, wasn’t it? You guys became global stars. That was impossible, wasn’t it? You guys are one of the greatest artists in history. That’s impossible too, isn’t it? Raise your standard. RM is impossible. This,” he points at Jimin, who slowly begins to stir against Yoongi’s throat, “it’s just a page in your story. We’ll get through it and it will be okay. Okay?”

Namjoon nods. His head bobs much heavier than usual, as if it suddenly weighs more. He hears Yoongi coo at Jimin and watches him boop the tired little cat’s nose. Then, as if he’s actually attuned to the cat’s thoughts, he reminds Namjoon to look for Jimin’s snacks. He pulls his jacket off the chair, grabs the little plastic bag (the little bag almost rips in his hands but Namjoon manages to just prevent the fourth emergency on the day - a pile of shrimp on his CEO’s office floor) and hands it over to Yoongi, who walks out with the sleepy leopard cub, leaving only Sihyuk, Sejin and Namjoon behind. To some, it might look like disrespect, especially in terms of Korean society rules, but in reality, it’s both an open display of trust towards Namjoon to fill him in on all the important details later, and a display of responsibility as a hyung who prioritizes taking care of his dongsaeng. Namjoon doesn’t care. His fingers smell gross. Like dried shrimp. There’s no sink. Focus, Namjoon. Focus just for a little bit. You’re an adult, behave like one. You can wash up and be tired later.

“Hyung, what does this phone call mean? Do we really have to register Jimin and all that?”

“Yes. We have to take them seriously. That organization does its work well.”

“But what is it that they do? I talked with AMI for at least ten minutes but I still don’t know who they are.”

“They are a government-funded agency who protects shifters and hybrids in different aspects. I only know that they dragged two entertainment companies to court because they had not registered a couple of their trainees. The court decided that it was mistreatment even if they were treated like everyone else.”

“Why?”

“Apparently, there are different laws for shifters and humans but I don’t know much about that yet. I’ll have to go through it with our lawyers.”

“But… if they are government-funded, how did I never hear of this? A court case with other entertainment companies, I’m sure that would have been on the news, right?”

“That was many years ago. I don’t know when this organization was founded, but they must have been working hard to protect every shifter since then.”

“I didn’t even know stuff like this existed…”

“Well, the community is rather small. People don’t talk about it and I’m sure many people don’t know that this stuff exists. As far as I know, most magical creatures are hiding the fact that they are magic. Even the organization runs secretly.”

“Hyung, isn’t that contradictory? How could they be part of the government if they run secretly?”

“I really don’t know much, but I think they aren’t part of the government… just consultants with a special status. And funded. I’m not sure how it works. But they execute laws, like registering shifters and hybrids.”

“Okay… so now Jimin is registered. What now?”

“I’ll take care of the contracts and you take care of Jimin.”

“Okay, I’ll ask Hobi what we can do about-“

“You can’t tell the members, Namjoon-ah.” 

Namjoon isn’t sure he’s heard right. All the mushiness and good warmth from before vanishes in a second. His heart actually skips a beat. He feels awfully cold and like he’s been electrocuted at once. At least it wakes him up. What!?

“What?”

“Don’t tell the members.”

“Why? Jimin will need all the support he can get and I don’t want him to feel any less loved than before. I know that all of the members will feel the same.”

There are a hundred issues lining up right now, but Namjoon knows that their biggest problem of all will be Jimin himself. Because in the end, Jimin’s soul is not a bird that nests easily in a new environment. Of the last eight years that Namjoon has spent by Jimin’s side, he’s witnessed the boy go from believing horrid lies about himself to starving himself like even his worst enemy wouldn’t do to him. Sure, Jimin has overcome these things, has found firm footing in the muddy path called identity. He’s come to love himself, riding on the wave of fresh wind that his brothers’ love is for him. Nonetheless, Namjoon can’t stop worrying about every new wave that comes crashing on the shore. Namjoon knows Jimin is particular about his body. Knows the boy is strategic and sometimes painfully pessimistic in his thoughts without even trying to be and prone to driving himself into feeling lonely. Jimin is so precious and Namjoon just wants to see him be happy. The possibility of the truth coming out to the public and at the wrong time almost hits Namjoon harder than he thinks it could hit Jimin. It resonates in his bones with an evil ache. To think that Jimin will face yet another challenge, that the look of desperation and anger might appear again in his eyes. And that Namjoon can’t help, can’t make it better. And even if Namjoon knows that it won’t be bad forever, that Jimin will get through this and feel better about it all someday but Namjoon just doesn’t know the price. And that hurts. But the members - the members should know. Because they won’t judge him. They will carry it all with him. 

“He won’t. Listen, I don’t want him to feel pressured by this. It’s a huge change for him and he will need some time to figure it all out. And especially now, with the comeback approaching, I want you all to be focused. I know you guys always work hard and you always do your best. But we all know how fragile such a preparation period before a comeback is and how quickly it can become oppressing if bad news hits.”

Namjoon’s mind wanders back to when he’d undergone surgery and the schedule had only allowed it at a time when their next comeback had been on the horizon already. Like a cloud flying overhead, Namjoon’s trip to the hospital and the slight (secret) complications had thrown a shadow over their preparations. Back then, it had definitely stressed the other members, even if their dance practices and recordings had all been on time and perfect. 

“Hyung, we’ve always got stuff going on. After the comeback, we have shows lining up, then the next tour and a hundred different events in between, like the Summer package, like mv shoots. There’s no better time to deal with this than right now. I can’t keep this a secret from the members and then expect them to be happy about it when I tell them later. They deserve to know.”

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. As long as the contracts aren’t renewed…”

“Hyung, I can’t accept that. Jimin won’t do well with this secret. You know how he treats himself sometimes and how difficult changes are for him. Especially Hobi should know since they are roommates.”

“I trust Yoongi and you to be by Jimin’s side until everything is prepared.”

“What do you need to prepare?”

“Well, a change like this… needs to be reflected in his contract. If something happens, he needs to be secure. If there are any special needs he has, we will make sure to provide and help but it all needs to be written out in his contract first. We’ll have to check what laws are relevant for us and align ourselves with it. Until Jimin signs the new contract, I will make sure there will be as little pressure on him as possible. I want him to feel like nothing has changed, like he doesn’t have to feel bad or judged for what happens.”

“What if he shifts again and I’m not there, hyung? Or Suga-hyung? What if he’s left with the maknaes? They should know.”

Sihyuk swivels in his chair and stares at the window for a good minute before answering. Namjoon can hear the fish tank’s soft whirring. He wonders if one day, all this will be the next chapter in a film for Army. Or part of a song. Something to brag about. Because right now, it doesn’t feel that way - not glorious, not beautiful and definitely not comfortable. Sihyuk’s voice sounds quiet, as if he’s had to dig deep for his next words and hasn’t returned from the depths yet. 

 “You don’t know this because I never told you, Namjoon. But when our Park Jimin signed with us, his parents had one major condition. At first, I thought it would be about money, free time, or maybe dating. Actually, they asked me to sign a confidentiality agreement between me and them. I promised to never tell anyone including Jimin that he was a shifter, to treat him normally and to ensure that he would receive his medication - suppressants.”

“Hyung.”

Namjoon feels like someone has punched him in the gut. He can’t breathe somehow, but it’s like he doesn’t want to either. He never thought Sihyuk would do something like this. It’s so wrong, he doesn’t even know what to say. One look into Sihyuk’s eyes, however, makes Namjoon’s tumbling sea still. Sihyuk knows how wrong it is, to keep such a huge secret from Jimin, to restrict his personal… worldview like this. And he regrets it. Deeply.

“So you knew from the beginning. Did you never think that we deserved to know?”

“I wanted to tell you so bad, especially you, Namjoon. At least the leader should know, right? But that was the condition: I don’t talk. His parents said that there are traditions that needed to be followed and kept in their culture and I believed them and wanted to respect that. I wanted to keep my word.”

“But… Jimin’s parents didn’t tell him either, did they? He doesn’t know anything at all.”

“I believe so, yes.”

Namjoon sighs. That’s - crazy.

“We’ve always made sure Jimin received everything he needed to be in top condition as a normal human being. We constantly supervise his health as we do with all of you. Based on that, I kind of expected his body to build a resistance to the suppressants someday. It took a while until we had adjusted them well - do you remember when he lost so much weight?”

“That was because of the suppressants?”

“I almost canceled that stupid contract back then. Jimin shouldn’t have had to suffer through this - he should have known what was going on with his body, he had every right to.”

“Hyung, that’s horrible-“

“Yeah. He just blames it on that genetic disease his parents say runs in the family.”

“So there’s no genetic disease.”

"I mean, it’s one way to describe your genetic makeup. If you’re trying to suppress it, it probably feels like a disease.”

Namjoon nods. It’s understandable from a logical viewpoint. It’s inexcusable from an emotional one. Namjoon swears to himself that he will never call Jimin’s ability to shift a disease. Even if his parents had used that term to hide their shifter side, Namjoon will never allow anyone to call it that. He wants Jimin to feel like it’s a regular part of his identity, like he doesn’t have to feel bad about it.

“So… will that organization drag us to court? Because we didn’t register Jimin until now?”

“I hope not. I will definitely meet up with them and organize a meeting between all parties. Communication is key, so I’ll do my best to fix this. I apologize for causing such a mess but I still have to ask you to keep quiet about this until it’s all cleared up.”

Namjoon nods. He feels a little burnt out, a little defeated to be honest. How could this all be true? 

“May I leave, PDnim?”

“Of course. Please do put all your expenses for Jimin on my card.”

“Thank you, hyungnim.”

When Namjoon walks out, he hears Sihyuk talking to Sejin.

“Please tell our head of staff to give the cleaning staff a raise.”

masterlist | moodboard masterlist

[ prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven ] tags: @xmagicxshopx, @taeshuworld, @justanemptydream, @hoodmeup, @gingerpeachtae  (wanna join? send me an ask!) ✨

[vernonfielding]

They say it’s lonely at the top

What’s that? We don’t have a trailer from NBC yet? Maybe you want to read some weird Jorm-POV B99 fanfic instead?? (ie Here is story No. 9 of my Season 7 Countdown Project!)

Summary: “Hey, everyone, just want to introduce you to our new assistant manager, Larry Sherbet.”

Taylor, manager of the Fun Zone, needs to hire a new assistant – but does he go with the known stoner or the new guy with the unbelievable resume? Takes place during Coral Palms Part 1. (Read on AO3.)

Taylor’s plucking disgustedly at the front of his shirt, muttering to himself about what jerks pre-schoolers can be, as he ducks into his office and closes the door behind him. The purple slushee is sticky and icy cold through the thin blue polo, and he quickly shucks his shirt and trashes it – he knows from experience that it’s already ruined. Fun Zone slushees eat right through the polyester blend.

He pulls the tub of disinfectant wipes out of the bottom drawer of his file cabinet and starts to clean himself up. It’s barely 11, they’ve only been open an hour, and already he’s fielded complaints about: gum in the ball pit; a feral possum growling at players on the eighth hole; the French fries tasting suspiciously like weed; and a child using toilet water to wash his hands in the restroom because the sink that Greg recommended they install is broken again (probably because someone shoved a hot dog down the drain yesterday).

It’s too much for one man, Taylor thinks to himself, as he tosses the wad of used wipes into the trash, on top of his shirt. He needs an assistant.

Taylor grabs a new polo out of the top drawer of his file cabinet and tugs it over his head as he drops into his desk chair, which wobbles precariously under his weight. He steadies himself on the desk, and his hand lands on a slip of paper – on Greg Stickney’s resume.

Greg’s was the first resume Taylor had ever seen for a job at the Fun Zone, and Taylor had been impressed. It’s even typed up, with his name and phone number on the top and a list of previous jobs, mostly a lot of retail stuff, just like Taylor. Greg was a good hire. He comes to work when he’s supposed to, he doesn’t smack the kids when they swear at him, and he hasn’t spit in the food even once, as far as Taylor knows.

But he just can’t shake the image of Greg in that Count Bluntula T-shirt. He knew something was funny about that guy – he was always so calm and laid-back, but also really hard to read, like if Matthew McConaughey were a robot. But he couldn’t pin it down until he saw the shirt and everything clicked. Now he worries that a full-time stoner would be a bigger problem than no assistant manager at all.

Still, he can’t keep doing this alone. Taylor slumps in his chair and scratches at his chin. Maybe he should give the guy a shot.

A knock on his door startles him, and Carly pops her head in. “Hey, some guy’s out here about a job.”

They’re not technically hiring – he was given orders from the owner to promote the assistant from the current staff – but before Taylor can tell Carly to send him away, the door swings open further and reveals a man with a wide, welcoming smile and gloriously frosted blond tips in his hair. 

“Hey,” the man says, stepping forward and thrusting out a hand to shake. “I’m Larry. Larry Sherbet. I understand you might be looking for an assistant manager.”

+++

Larry is perfect. He, too, has a resume, and it’s even more impressive that Greg’s.

“You were a pilot?” Taylor says, reading over his work experience.

Larry nods and gives him another big grin. He’s sitting on a folding chair that Taylor usually keeps wedged between the file cabinet and the table with security cameras. He can’t remember the last time anyone actually sat in it.

“Yeah, remember that plane that hit a bird in New York? Pilot had to land in the Hudson?”

Taylor nods, then frowns. “I think so?”

“That was me,” Larry says, kicking his feet out in front of him and leaning back in the chair, hands clasped behind his head. “I saved like 300 people.”

“Wasn’t that guy super old?”

Larry rubs at his chin. “Shaved the mustache last year. It took off like 10 years.”

Taylor squints at him, and he can kind of see it. Larry looks like he’s in his late 20s, maybe early 30s, but he could be 60 – Taylor’s always been bad with ages.

“And it says here,” Taylor says, pointing at the next line, “that you took down a surfer bank robbery ring. That’s so dope, man. Isn’t there a TV show, or like a movie like that?”

“Point Break,” Larry says, smirking at him. “They based the movie off me. Had to retire from the FBI after that. Cover blown and all, you know how it is.”

He shrugs, like “what’re you gonna do?” and Taylor respects the guy’s no regrets attitude. 

Taylor hates to ask the next question, but: “Aren’t you a little over-qualified for this position?”

For the first time, the grin slips off Larry’s face, and he eases forward in his chair, eyes darting to the office door, and beckons Taylor toward him. It’s all very conspiratorial and Taylor’s loving it. He leans over his desk and raises an inquisitive eyebrow.

“You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to say to you,” Larry says, his voice low and serious and seductive.

A chill runs up Taylor’s spine and he swallows thickly, nods. “I won’t.”

Larry looks toward the door again and licks his lips. When he turns back to Taylor, they lock eyes, and Taylor holds his breath.

“I’m in witness protection,” Larry says. “I tangled with a mob boss and now I have to lie low until the feds catch him, or until I lose my freakin’ mind in this dump-hole state and run away with my girlfriend to Bermuda. Is Bermuda nice this time of year?”

“I think Bermuda’s nice any time of year,” Taylor says.

“Anyway,” Larry says, “I just need a job to keep my cover, and I don’t want to sell ATVs because those things’ll kill you and I don’t need more blood on my hands, you know?”

Taylor does not know.

“So-” Taylor says.

“To recap,” Larry interrupts, and holds up a hand, counting out on his fingers: “Witness protection, running from the mob, need a job.”

Taylor leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. Beyond his office door, he can hear a child sob-screaming and a woman shouting profanities at whoever’s behind the snack counter. Taylor glances at the two resumes now sitting on his desk, side by side.

“You’re full of shit, Larry,” Taylor says, as he stands up. He grins and thrusts out a hand. “And I dig it. How’d you like to be my new assistant manager?”

“I would like nothing better,” Larry says. They shake on it.

They’re going to be best friends now. Taylor’s sure of it. He throws an arm around Larry’s shoulder and leads him outside to meet the staff.

End Notes:

Title is from Feed the Beast (Bash Brothers).

I like writing outside perspectives of the main characters and the idea of writing “Jorm” was too much fun! (Might there be an Akiva one sometime this month? Only time will tell.)

I toggled back and forth between writing Taylor as really dumb or just really not giving a shit, but I feel like that could apply to a lot of the random characters in the Florida eps. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lazybirdxd]

Kaylor: The hidden true timeline

Sometimes reality exceeds our expectations, and oftentimes we are not aware that such reality exists. Until we take a deeper look.

I recently finished reading a (controversial) fanfic by a certain writer (If you’re an old Kaylor you know which fanfic, if you’re new, it’s called “Kaylor: The timeline”) and what stood out for me the most about that fanfic is that it is incredibly accurate in the way it tells the story, a story that is well thought of, it has a chronological coherence and character construction that is very difficult to surpass. The amazing thing about it is not the story in itself, but rather the level of insight it gives about the characters, behavior analysis, recognition of complex emotions and its roots in the characters, as well as a constant foreshadowing of the aesthetics of the coming era (reputation era). I think that because of this complexity and the level of details included, both Karlie and Taylor wrote it. How did I arrive to that conclusion (that many of you older Kaylors also suspect to be true)? -I'll be focusing only on the authorship of the fanfic, if you want me to analyze the story, leave a comment!-

Taylor discussing Karlie’s inability to communicate any uncomfortable situation to Taylor in the 12th chapter of part two.

Well, let’s see. The fanfic has an element of entertainment to it (no, that’s not my strongest argument, but hold on), it’s as if the writer knew which parts of the story to highlight in order for the readers to be engaged with the story from the beginning. But it doesn’t JUST take a good story for a book to be read (or in this case, a Wattpad book), you need to have the right characters in your story for people to feel identified with and represented by them. In essence, the story needs to make sense, needs to remain just a story (that means having the right amount of fantasy and the right amount of truth so that it still feels real), it needs to have complex yet relatable characters that appeal to the essential parts of human nature, and a relatively simple vocabulary (unless your expected audience is very educated) along with descriptive (visual) language, because the public has to imagine the situations the characters are going through, as well as their very environment. Also, your use of your chosen lexicon has to convey all the meaning of your story in its simplicity. I don’t know about you, but these requirements feel like the abilities of a very advanced writer, and not one that just posts random stories that they created in their head after reading a tabloid in the line of the supermarket.

The writer of the fanfic saying he/she had never written anything personal before the fanfic (I cut the screenshot on this one, but I will put the full picture later on)

Anyway, as seen above, our “fanfic” writer claims to have never had any experience at personal writing before this fanfic, which is very suspicious, given the amount of reads that this fanfic has (1.7 Million at the moment of writing this post) as well as the good reviews and people commenting on Wattpad how that is their 4th or 5th time reading the entire fanfic all over again, meaning that for the reads to be this high, the writing has to be at least really good.

I cut the screenshot here, but if you go to the first chapter of the fanfic you’ll see more people commenting similar things.

Now, with regards to the foreshadowing I talked about earlier, the fanfic was written in early 2016, and the reputation era began in late 2017, plus we know Taylor plans her tours and eras one year ahead, therefore she needed to plan the reputation era and tour one year ahead (see section Event promoters), despite her saying in a GMA interview from Lover era that she only plans 6 months in advance (which is just impossible due to recording dates, negotiations, hiring booking agents for the countries she will perform in, meetings to discuss marketing strategies, aesthetics of every era, etc…), therefore by 2016 she had at least some idea of how the 6th era was going to look like. This fanfic weirdly coincides with the aesthetics of reputation long before reputation was released. Hmmm…

This fanfic AU was last updated on February 2016.

“Interesting… Tell me more about this writer”.

Alright. Also, It’s a she and she has a Tumblr account that I took time to carefully read.

Our writer turns out to be a she.

But before I go into really heavy stalking further detail, read this disclaimer: I am no behavioral analysis expert, I do not possess any type of psychology major or minor, I’m not even doing an undergraduate course of psychology, this is me applying all the books I’ve read about human psychology as it is my hobby. I’m a Computer Science student. Having said that, let’s dive right in!

Now, this is what I observed when looking through KaylorFanfiction’s profile:

1. The writer doesn’t share, reblog, post pictures frequently or makes her personal opinion known in topics outside the fanfic(s) or writing in general. (I observed this after spending a significant amount of time scrolling down her blog and just noticing her behavioral patterns).

2. Assertive (short answers to asks on Tumblr).

3. Usually writes in caps to highlight important things (just like Taylor), words or phrases might be uppercase.

If you’re wondering about the numbers, they are questions.

Okay, let’s see Taylor now:

4. The writer is 6 feet tall (like our favorite supermodel).

The link to the questions.

5. The writer is enthusiastic about feedback (like Taylor).

6. Has one female dog named Phoebe Buffay (A pet named after a well-known tv show character.)

Interesting to note that in the second ask, the writer tells that she has only had one puppy, which reminds me of a certain someone who also has only one puppy:

7. Is in college. Or was.

I say was because, although we have pictures of Karlie on her first day of school at NYU, it isn’t completely believable due to a lack of attendance later on if you google “Karlie Kloss attending NYU”, therefore my conclusion is that her proximity to a college environment comes actually from her brother, who truly attended Notre Dame University. An interesting observation that may back my induction is that if you go to KaylorFanfiction’s profile you’ll find that when she talks about college she never specifies which one she’s attending, for that same reason, if it was true that Karlie attended, then she would have no other choice than to be proud of her wife girlfriend through her secret alternative account for her achievements (I mean, it’s NYU, who wouldn’t be proud?). Taylor The writer might have wanted to tell the narrative of a broke college student (the exact opposite of what Taylor is) to go unnoticed on social media, but the quality of the story and the richness of it made it unbelievable that the story came from an inexperienced writer (more on that later on).

In other words, this account was Taylor’s escape bubble where she could talk freely and give her opinions without dealing with the consequences. I was afraid I could be breaking that bubble with this post, but considering that she said she no longer uses the account, I figure that It was safe for me to post this.

8. Has been making connections with literary agents and small publishing presses (as detailed above).

Guess who also makes connections with certain agents and publishing agencies… (See the manager and booking agents)

9. Has a passion for music and wanted to learn how to play guitar on her own as a teenager but stopped.

The full screenshot above, as promised.

Also, doesn’t she being obsessed with music and learning from a young age reminds you of someone else?

Link to the interview.

Link to a compilation of homemade videos of Taylor singing as well as an interview where she says she learned to play the guitar at a young age (minute 1:29).

10. Reads books about music (detailed above) and learns about music in general, from a very young age.

11. Writes original content outside fanfic.

Interesting, given that she never had written something personal before (personal as in of her own making, not as in the fanfic is her life), that makes me question what did she write about before this fanfic? Journalism? But she is obsessed with music, she told us that herself. Could that original content possibly be… songs?

So far we know she is obsessed with music, she discovered she liked to write novels (I’d rather say books) through writing this fanfic, even though she doesn’t read fanfic at all, wonder where she got the inspiration and experience to make it the most read fanfic of that topic on Wattpad if she also never did anything personal, which makes me now believe that by personal she meant her life, because there is no way you can never have done anything of your own creation while having original work. Therefore, the original work she refers to, are songs (as detailed above when saying she wanted to do something with songs). She could have meant anything by saying she wanted to do something with songs, but so far, these are many many coincidences pointing to Taylor the authorship of a particular individual, and as BBC’s Sherlock said: “The universe is rarely so lazy”.

12. The author never reads fanfic stories.

The picture speaks for itself

13. The writer doesn’t like speculation. Compare to Taylor’s 25th birthday tweet.

Interesting…the author is not into speculating, yet she wrote an entire fanfic on a relationship she claims is not real to her. Basically, she ignored the definition of “speculation”.

Thus, if we wanted to make sense of the reasons for her particular fanfic creation writing taking into account that she doesn’t like speculating and that this is just a creative outlet, we would have to assume that what she writes in her story is based on an objective truth, her speech again (not liking speculation) is contradicted by the mere fact that Wattpad is for aspiring writers looking to share their work with the world (usually a fictitious work). So, if our writer doesn’t like speculation, yet creates a “fictional” story on a site dedicated to that purpose, she’s either lying about not liking speculation or she’s hiding the truth in a platform dominated by fiction in the hopes no one will see (through) it. Okay, maybe she’s lying about not liking speculation (after all, people lie all the time), but given the continuous similarities of our writer’s personality with Taylor’s, and the fact that in the universe everything is interconnected, this can’t be a coincidence. But why would Taylor go to such lengths to tell mostly the truth? Well, given Taylor’s character and the way she rose to fame (through what she called “Opening up her diaries for the world to see”) there is an inherent need in her for self-expression, but she can’t express herself freely all the time (remember the behind-the-scenes interview where she’s filming Lover video and she says her life is like a fishbowl) because her career is image-based, and one picture will outspeak any word or explanation she might have. Thus, she might have to go to these or more lengths to truly express herself and her beliefs in order to keep her mental health and creativity flowing.

14. The writer loves to add drama to her writing.

Do I have to remind you of Taylor’s lyrics to Endgame?

“I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me “

15. The writer has an inclination toward social justice (similar to that of Taylor).

And comparing to Taylor…

Also, the fanfic is very very detail-oriented, and the writer said in a note on one of her chapters:

Finally, to top the icing…

Our writer got knee surgery. The very word surgery sounds to me as a lot of stitches being made. Where have I heard about stitches before? Maybe Out Of The Woods can be a good beginning…

“Twenty stitches in a hospital room”

My dissertation is now over. I hope you enjoyed it without thinking I’m going insane, because that’s what I’m thinking right now. Have a good night/day.

[ilovemygaydad]

Friends in Dark Places [ch 13]

pairing: moxiety, eventual logince, background eventual remile, background eventual remy/emile/deceit

WARNINGS: kissing, mentions of panic attacks, crying, anxiety, worry, self hate, journaling, swearing, depression, flashback to the first chapter (same warnings apply to the first one), possibly something else?

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy

a/n: so i have to repost all of these in a different format! yay fucking me!!!! please consider reblogging these if you’re a fan of this series because it’s all fucked up now

first - previous - next - companions

consider buying me a coffee (please)

-

Virgil’s lips were so soft. That was the only thought that ran through Patton’s mind. Heat rose to his cheeks as he gently pulled away, raising his fingertips to cover his mouth.

Oh my god. That just happened.

Someone had kissed him. And it wasn’t for their own benefit!

Virgil seemed to have calmed down for the most part, having leaned back on the glass door in awe. He had just done that. He had done that!

Patton called his mom, asking her to come pick them up. He wouldn’t tell Virgil, but their little, uh, incident made him worried that there would be more anxiety to follow if they stayed. He then shot a few texts to Logan so that he’d know what happened. 

Patton

Read 9:47

Hey, kiddo! Virgil and I are going to head home. He had a bit of a panic attack, so I called my mom to pick us up

Logan

Delivered 9:47

I could have driven you two home. Roman ditched me to, presumably, make out with someone.

Patton

Read 9:49

Sounds about right :P

Patton

Read 10:05

Logan

Logan

Delivered 10:06

Yes, Patton?

Patton

Read 10:08

Uh

Funny story

So, uh…

Virgil

Kissed me?

And now we’re holding hands

What do I do?

Logan

Delivered 10:08

You what now?

Patton are you serious?

Patton?

Patton

Read 10:11

Sorry I may have kissed him again

And by may have I mean that I definitely did

Wow he’s a really great kisser

Logan

Delivered 10:11

You sound like Roman.

Patton

Read 10:11

That’s fair 

It wasn’t necessarily a surprise that Patton liked Virgil. He easily and quickly grew attached to people, which made it simple for him to get along with others. He was liked by most, and he fell in love with ease. That wasn’t any different with Virgil; he’d just been hesitant to show it.

He saw the flash of headlights pulling up and stood, slipping his hand from Virgil’s. “Are you okay to walk, or do you want me to carry you?” Patton’s mind drifted back to the night that they had first met.

---

He had been trudging home when he saw the figure on the bridge.

It had been a pretty shit night, if he was going to be honest. Patton had been on his way to his boyfriend’s house, hoping to watch a movie or something, and decided to stop by the park to take a more scenic walk. He walked around the beautiful foliage until he saw them. Luke was sitting on a park bench with his hands needily clawing at another guy as they aggressively made out. It was unbelievable, yet the scene made complete sense. Patton spun on his heel and wandered around town for hours, losing track of time before he finally realized that he needed to head home. On his way, he saw the kid. He ran to the railing, hoping to catch them before they ended their life.

“Um,” Patton squeaked; his voice sounded weak to his own ears. “Hello? Please don’t jump.”

The person spun around so fast—far too fast to be safe while standing on the edge of an impending drop. Their scrutinizing eyes scanned Patton for just a second. “What are you doing here?!”

He hadn’t really thought that far. Patton didn’t want them to jump, that much was obvious, but he wasn’t too keen to retell the events of the night. “Um, I, uh, was just walking by and happened to see you here. I don’t want you to jump.”

The stranger stared at him for one. Two. Three beats.

“Look. You have no idea who I am, and I have no idea who you are. You don’t know my intentions, so just go away and leave me here alone.” The harsh tone in the stranger’s voice unsettled something deep in Patton’s stomach. Tears began to drip from his eyes, growing faster and faster until he was flat-out bawling on the sidewalk.

“What are you doing?” The stranger spat.  “You’re being fucking loud! People are going to start trying to find out what’s happening can you—Fucking hell.” Patton heard the sound of feet on the pavement and immediately tried to wipe up his tears.

The teen spoke again. “Look. I’m off the ledge. Just stop fucking crying.” That prompted Pat to look up. He saw the hurt in the kid’s eyes and couldn’t bear to take any chances.

“Promise that you won’t jump off the bridge.”

“Yeah, whatever. I won’t jump off,” the kid scoffed, throwing in a complementary eye roll.

“I said to promise me!” The intensity in Patton’s voice shocked even him.

"I—What? Listen—“ “Promise me!” Patton yelled. “Promise me that you won’t kill yourself tonight! I don’t care what your reasoning is for doing this, but it’s not good enough! Promise me or I’m going to call the cops and tell them you’re trying to commit suicide, and I know that you don’t want the authorities involved.” It was a low blow, threatening to call the police, but he was pretty desperate at this point. Anything that’d work. He dug his phone out and wiggled it slightly, adding depth to his promise.

“I–okay, look–I promise I won’t kill myself tonight just please put the phone down. Please, don’t call the police. I promise; I won’t do anything.” The kid’s voice was rushed and breathy. They were struggling to breathe. 

Panic attack, his mind supplied. Oh no.

Patton dialed his mom’s number in a heartbeat. He quickly asked her to pick him up at the bridge. There was a flash of movement before a body came slumping into his arms. Pat gently scooped the stranger up.

And from that moment, Patton had become invested.

---

“I can walk.” Virgil wobbled a bit as he stood up, but he did seem to have the strength and energy. As soon as they were in the car, however, Virgil slumped into Patton and curled up, reveling in the warmth and comfort of his… friend?

Pat nearly let out a quiet “awwww” at how cute Virge was.

The whole ride home was silent. No music, no conversation, no nothing. Patton expected that he and his mother would be having a long conversation tomorrow about what had transpired, but that was a thought for another time.

Pat picked up the sleepy Virgil once they’d arrived and carried him slowly up the steps to Virgil’s bedroom. He was once again brought back to their first meeting. He’d gently taken set the stranger on his bed and made sure they were absolutely okay before leaving. Tonight, however, he had a feeling he’d be staying in the room.

He quietly went to his own room for a few minutes so both he and Virgil could change into pajamas. It was almost surprising that Virge was sat up, expectantly—and sleepily—awaiting Patton’s return.

“Do you want me to stay in here tonight?” It was barely a question. Virgil nodded and flopped back, pulling the covers up over his head and curling up. Unlike the first time they’d shared the bed, Patton immediately slipped under the blankets.

The buried Virgil grabbed Patton’s hand and pulled it close as if it were some sort of comfort object. Silently, Patton mused that he’d only be able to retrieve full control of his body by prying himself from Virgil’s cold, dead hands. Soon enough, though, they both fell asleep, blissfully sleeping away any stress.

---

Patton woke up in the middle of the night. His body tended to do that--just randomly waking from slumber for no reason in particular. It was irritating, to say the very least.

Pat opened his eyes and saw Virgil’s delicate features just inches away. He was such a good kid. He was such a good friend.

The negative thoughts in his mind overwhelmed him in an instant. Oh, god. Oh no. No! No, no, no! I can’t do this. That would be unfair. I’m just going to hurt him. I’m going to hurt him. I can’t do that. I can’t!

He scrambled back, falling backwards off the bed. Patton stifled a scream with his hand, not wanting to wake Virgil. Of course the intrusive thoughts would come back just when he had something good in his life. Patton wasn’t meant to be happy.

You’re not good enough! You’re a terrible person—just like Jason used to tell you! You only hurt; you can’t fix anything. You break everything you touch!

Tears streamed down his face as he silently ran to his room. He had made a mistake--one that he didn’t know how to fix or even if he could fix it. He texted the only people he knew could help.

pattonly-loveable [1:35, read]

Guys I really messed up

loganch [1:35]

Patton, what are you doing up?

And what did you do?

Are you okay?

Do we need to hide a body?

princeofthegays [1:35]

Are you good????

pattonly-loveable [1:35, read]

So you know how virgil and I kissed??

Sorry if you didn’t know, ro

Anyway

That’s how I messed up

princeofthegays [1:36]

First of all, I’m proud of you

Second, how is that a bad thing? I’m not sure that I understand how love can be bad…

pattonly-amazing [1:36, read]

I’m going to end up hurting Virgil and it’s gonna kill me to see that happen

loganch [1:37]

Patton, that is literally absurd.

You obviously care for Virgil very much. Even I can see that. You have done nothing but have his best interest at heart since you met him. If you truly believe that you would hurt him, you are as stupid as a rock.

princeofthegays [1:37]

I’ve gotta agree with the brainiac for once

That didn’t help Patton in the slightest. He still felt off about the whole thing. He didn’t deserve the love that any of them gave him. He was terrible and just not a good person.

He wasn’t worth it.

---

Dear diary,

It’s been a long time since I’ve written in here—too long, maybe. I think it’s a good time to do so, though.

Let’s get things straight. Or rather, not straight. Pretty damn not straight to be honest. 

Virgil kissed me tonight. It was really great. But there’s just something that doesn’t settle right in me.

I can’t be with him. I ruin everything I touch. I can’t provide the love and care that he needs--I’m useless to him. Not to mention how he’s just going to hate me once he realizes how absolutely pathetic I am.

Virgil should’ve picked Roman. Ro is smart, charismatic, creative, romantic, and so many other things that I’m just not! He knows how to be a good partner. He can plan dates like the best of them, and he’s never once had a partner cheat on him because he’s just that damn irresistible. Roman is perfect; whereas, I’m the exact opposite. I’m ridiculously stupid (just ask Logan; he had to help me with countless assignments over the years), I’m too shy for my own good, and I take exactly zero risks (see: I’ve wanted to kiss Virgil for so long)!

Logan would also be better suited! He’s the smartest of anybody I know, and he’s considerate, thoughtful, and, even though he tries to hide it, loving. Logan has done research on every mental illness that he could possibly think of; he’d know exactly what to do in every circumstance Virgil found himself in.

And me? I just hurt people. I do stupid things without thinking and end up hurting my friends in the process. Nothing I’ve ever done or will ever do will account to anything! I’m worthless! Virgil deserves so much better than what I can give. He’s been hurt too many times before. I can’t. I just can’t.

- Patton

next

[16ruedelaverrerie]

  [Today, Courtesy of This Diagram Generated by @sebdoesstuff, a Performative Reading of the Natal Chart of Detective Gavin Reed, Born October 7, 2002, in What We Take to Be Detroit, Michigan, at an Unknown Time of Day. All Standard Disclaimers from This Post Apply, Including the One about This Being a Generalization, Because Even with the Natal Chart We’re Not Going to Get into Aspects or Full Houses vs Empty Houses or Anything Like That, I’m Not an Astrologer Nor Was I Meant to Be, Also I Need to Go Eat Dinner Now]  

1. Rising Sign: presentation Sagittarius (blunt, outgoing, independent)

[The rising sign is dependent on the time of birth; it’s Sagittarius here because 12PM is the default time this website uses. My original choice for Gavin’s rising sign was Aries, because an Aries is just a Leo with an inferiority complex THAT’S RIGHT FIGHT ME ARIES but I rather like Sagittarius, actually! Did you know that every man I have ever been into but also simultaneously hated myself for being into had a Sagittarius sun sign? It’s a personal note you didn’t ask for but also it’s a broadly applicable truth.]

“I’ll make my own scrambled eggs,” says Gavin. “You cook like someone who made a deal with the devil to trade in their taste buds for pointlessly overdeveloped fine motor skills, which is exactly what you are. Your food tastes like a fucking instruction manual.”

“Is that any way to talk to your lawfully wedded husband?” asks RK900.

“THE LAW IS NOT JUSTICE,” proclaims Gavin.

Capitulating to the oppressive institution of marriage had provided them with certain tax benefits, muses RK900, but it had not done a thing to socialize Gavin. It's just as well, he thinks.

  2. Sun: personality 14 degrees Libra (diplomatic, superficial, indulgent)

[Again, this post is probably more than enough contemplation of Gavin Reed, Actual Libra. This sun sign continues to be completely absurd and I am on board for this bogus journey.]

“No wait, not-- not from the back,” pants Gavin, struggling to turn himself over under RK900′s insistent hands. “I want-- I want to see your face.”

“Okay,” breathes RK900, startled by the tenderness of the request.

“I mean, otherwise there’s no point,” continues Gavin. “What? You think I’m with you for your personality?”

“...Thanks, you ruined it,” says RK900.

  3. Moon: emotion 01 degree Scorpio (passionate, secretive, committed)

“You... I...” falters Gavin, fidgeting viciously with the zipper of his jacket. “...What I mean is-- that is to say, I... here’s the thing, you’re... I’m in-- I might be in-- ...I-- you--”

“Would you find this ordeal easier if we were both undressed and I was banging you like a screen door in a hurricane?” asks RK900, because it isn’t like he doesn’t know what Gavin is trying to say, anyway.

“Yes please right now,” says Gavin.

  4. Mercury: intellect 28 degrees Virgo (analytical, detail-oriented, perfectionist)

“Reed, this is ridiculous,” barks Fowler. “Your report was due two weeks ago, I can’t have you sit on your ass forever. Just get it done.”

“But have you seen the body text typeface for the new electronic filing system?” protests Gavin. “The x-height on it is hideously minuscule! What it does to the counters-- it’s completely illegible, Captain! I am ASPHYXIATED by its lack of sufficient aperture! I can’t work in typographical squalor, this aesthetic is a disgrace to the force! I QUIT!”

“Your gun and badge,” says Fowler.

  5. Venus: relationship 15 degrees Scorpio (loyal, possessive, adventurous)

“Here’s a handbook of sexual perversions that I’ve compiled for you,” says Gavin. He drops a gargantuan dossier in front of RK900, where it lands with a thunk hard enough to make the table shake.

“I... really don’t think this is necessary,” says RK900.

“Listen, I would literally keel over and die of grief if for some reason you suddenly decided to go slam your cock inside someone else instead of me,” says Gavin. “Tell me what freaky shit you’re into, and I’ll do it. You tell me what it takes to keep you around.”

“Isn’t there a nicer way of saying all this?” asks RK900.

  6. Mars: action 24 degrees Virgo (occupied, particular, critical)

“This folder is for solved cases that haven’t been filed yet,” says Gavin, cursor hovering. “This folder is for solved cases that are partially filed. This folder is for solved cases involving drug offenses. This folder is for all cases east of Woodward but west of Broadway. This folder is for bad crimes. This folder is for cases that when I looked at them, I was like, huh! This folder is--”

“Please, your organizational scheme doesn’t make any sense,” says RK900. “I’ve had to patch up several critical errors during your attempt to explain it just now.”

“It works! I have a system!” insists Gavin. “You know how Fowler feels about me, would I still be here if I didn’t have a system that worked and got cases cleared?”

“Your continued employment at this station is a source of persistent mystery to me,” says RK900.

  7. Jupiter: development 13 degrees Leo (dramatic, proud, demonstrative)

“You requested me?” demands Gavin as soon as the door to Fowler’s office swings closed, too befuddled to let his irritation silence him. “You asked to be partnered with me? What the fuck did you do that for?”

“You have... unorthodox methods, Detective Gavin Reed,” says RK900. “The capacity for improvisation is a quality I find lacking in myself. I intend to learn from your extraordinary proficiency in adapting to unforeseen circumstances.”

Gavin opens his mouth, only to close it again without managing to say anything. He turns on his heels and starts stomping away.

“Come on, you dumb shit,” he calls over his shoulder. His ears are flushed, RK900 notes.

  8. Saturn: limitation 29 degrees Gemini (concrete, inarticulate, intuitive)

“As Democritus said, happiness resides not in possessions,” announces Gavin as he bursts into the bedroom, glasses on the bridge of his nose, squinting at several closely printed pages that he clutches in his hands. “There is an ethical imperative to question whether it is beneficial to hold onto that which can be held onto; if it is not, at times, more salubrious to our spiritual health to cast off that which we let fester by keeping close to ourselves. For indeed, as stagnant water breeds disease, so do we find that the objects--”

“Gavin,” interrupts RK900, “are you... are you trying to thank me for taking out the trash an extra time last week?”

“You have to let me finish,” says Gavin. “I’ve been working on this since then.”

“Hold on,” says RK900, “you spent a week writing a speech because you couldn’t say th--”

“--SO DO WE FIND THAT THE OBJECTS WHICH SURROUND US CEASE TO GIVE US JOY WHEN THEY HAVE OVERSTAYED THEIR WELCOME,” shouts Gavin.

  9. Uranus: freedom 25 degrees Aquarius (scientific, original, technocratic)

“I’m a Gen Z chaos child and proud of it!” says Gavin. “We’re the generation that invented androids!”

“Some might say that you were adamantly refusing to be proud of this accomplishment until very recently,” remarks RK900. “Some might also say that it’s not your accomplishment in the least, that you had absolutely nothing to do with it, and point out that you have trouble operating a microwave on your best days.”

“They all have different ways you need to enter minutes and seconds,” says Gavin, hotly.

  10. Neptune: transcendence 08 degrees Aquarius (humanitarian, secular, modern)

“I’m a Gen Z chaos child and proud of it!” says Gavin. “We’re the generation that replaced religion with unparalleled medical advances and brought us one step closer to a post-scarcity society!”

“Wouldn’t know it from looking at you,” says RK900. “Generation that replaced religion with memes, more like.”

“Who taught you to talk like this?” demands Gavin.

  11. Pluto: transformation 15 degrees Sagittarius (confident, principled, revolutionary)

“I’m a Gen Z chaos child and proud of it!” says Gavin. “We replaced religion with memes and the whole world is better for it!”

“You smoke actual cigarettes and use voice-to-text to take notes,” says RK900. “I’m starting to think you might not even be Gen Z at all. How old are you, Gavin Reed? Are you a Highlander? Can you only be killed through decapitation?”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” says Gavin.

  BONUS. North Node: purpose 10 degrees Gemini (interaction, partnership, community)

“Go talk to him,” Tina hisses under the clamor of the bar, elbowing RK900 in the side.

“He has been uncommunicative and belligerent since my return,” says RK900, keeping his eyes fixed on the glass of Thirium in front of him. “Correction, he has been especially uncommunicative and belligerent since my return. I believe attempting to engage with him at this point would only cause him to lash out further.”

“But have you figured out why?” asks Hank. “You know what’s got his panties in a twist?”

“That is an unsolicited mental image,” says RK900, “but I believe it is related to my dereliction of duty while I was confined to Cyberlife for repairs. The damage was extensive and I was unable to assist with Detective Reed’s caseload for much longer than he has been accustomed to. The evidence leads me to conclude that he is still resentful of my prolonged absence.”

“Unbelievable,” says Tina. “Brain the size of a planet and that’s what you conclude.”

“Nines,” says Connor, kindly, “replay your memories from the night of the shooting. My hypothesis is that you may not have taken all the evidence into account.”

The memories from the night of the shooting. Why, when the way that Gavin’s been acting ought to be explanation enough? Why go back to the sound of the gunshot like a cracking whip, the split second of frenzied calculation, the bullet in motion -- straight as the crow flies -- Gavin’s eyes widening as RK900 shoved him away, the sharp brittle crack of his shell coming apart, and then the terrible, painful static filling his head-- and Gavin’s fingers, slicked with blue, shaking uncontrollably as he fumbled to hold the shards of his skull together-- Gavin shouting something at him that he couldn’t hear over the noise, then Gavin’s lips still moving noiselessly when his audio processors cut out, just a deafening silence as the countdown began, and barely visible beyond the angry blur of error messages and critical malfunctions that had filled his view -- only now in the solemn clarity past the moment, RK900 could see -- in the low light of the alleyway, on his knees in filth beside him, Gavin looked--

RK900 glances up from his glass, turns to the far side of the bar where Gavin has been all night. The giveaway flurry as Gavin whips his head away, pretending for all he's worth as though there’s something very interesting on the wall next to him. He knows RK900 is looking, and RK900 knows that he knows because he stubbornly refuses to look back.

“Go talk to him,” says Tina, again.

His ears are flushed, thinks RK900, and stands up.