#umm anyways. the fucking creature

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 13: the creature lisa frank edition

[babybluebex]

needs and wants | eric aqpdo x fem!reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in the direct aftermath of the apocalypse, you meet a man who's worse for wear in just about every regard. even though you can't do too much to heal his injuries, it's possible that you can heal his heart. wc 10.6k (she's a doozy) 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: eric (a quiet place: day one, 2024) x fem!reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: SPOILERS FOR AQPDO, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT THE FILM SPOILED!, mentions of death/general apocalypse things, panic attacks, mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions (if you know eric's backstory that ended up cut from the film, he talks ab it), far too much intimacy for what this is, smut (minors dni): p in v, tit sucking, condom use 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: umm... i have no excuse for this... other than i need eric on a carnal level lol. hope you enjoy!!

It was funny how your whole world could change in a single day. And it was supposed to be a good day too; you had racked up enough PTO to allow yourself a full day off of work, and you had plans. You were going to brunch with your girlies that you hadn’t seen since nursing school, you were going to rent a movie at home, watch rom-coms in your underwear— you looked forward to sleeping in, taking a bubble bath, going to sleep early. You only achieved one part of that: you hadn’t even received the mimosa pitcher you had ordered when you heard the noise outside, as loud as a rocket taking off on the street just outside the hip brunch place, and you had hardly turned to look out the window when your world fell apart. 

Silence became your norm. Fear overtook you at every turn, giving your hands a perpetual shake that you weren’t certain would ever wear off. You didn’t know too much psychological or neurological stuff— you were a trauma nurse, emergency room and ICU type stuff, you were more concerned with stopping the blood flow and stabilizing vitals than ever caring about the after-effects of shit— but you wondered if the shaking of your hands was forever part of you now. You were good under pressure, never scared, but whatever the fuck those creatures were out there had changed the makeup of your being in a single second. 

When the helicopters buzzed overhead, drawing the monsters toward them and away from the city, and they announced that boats were departing from a nearby dock, you knew you had to go. More than saving yourself, you knew some very hurt and very sick people would gather there. You were sure that FEMA people would be swarming the boats to take care of the sick and injured, but you didn’t know what else to do. Your brain went on a sort-of autopilot, and you did the only thing you could think to do: you followed the crowd out to the docks. 

You had never gone that long without talking. Your throat was so dry from debris and dust anyway that you weren’t even sure that you could talk. Your clothes were torn, various small injuries that weren’t anything some disinfectant and a Band-Aid couldn’t fix, along with a gash on your calf that you had determined would be fine for now but could definitely use some tending-to once on the boat, plus your shaky hands, but otherwise you were fine. When the windows shattered and the monsters invaded, your table had overturned from the force of the sonic blast, and your animal instincts kicked in, throwing yourself behind the table and barricading there. You were one of the lucky ones— you lived. Sure, glass cut up your knees and palms, and you couldn’t even breathe without worrying that your breaths would alert the monsters, but you had lived. That was more than some could say. 

You felt packed out like sardines on the boat. Standing room only, except for the few exceptions of the people who were hurt or passed out. You had meager belongings in your pockets, although you weren’t sure how helpful your dead cell phone or essentially-useless credit cards would be in a time like this, but at least you had your work badge in your purse when you went to brunch. You found someone who looked like they were in charge, dressed in all-grey, not a military uniform but not civilian clothes either, and you silently showed them your badge, declaring yourself as a trauma nurse at a hospital in Brooklyn, and you gestured around, trying to ask if there was anything you could do to help. The woman shook her head, but folded her hands in a sort of ‘thank-you’ gesture.

You managed to stand towards the back of the ship, against the railing, next to the ladder, and you flinched at the loud chug of the boat casting off from the dock. Surely the monsters heard that. Everybody around you seemed to hold a deep breath, anticipatory, awaiting the worst to come at your final moments of salvation, but thankfully the monsters weren’t concerned with you all— maybe you were too far out in the water and, if the announcements from the helicopters were to be believed, the monsters couldn’t swim, so they didn’t care too much about the boat. Or maybe, the sudden sound of glass shattering from the shore, followed by shrill car alarms, captured their attention better. 

You watched, horrified, as you spotted a woman racing down the street, hardly noticeable from the distance, but the sun glinted off of a silver metal pipe in her hand as she raised it in the air, and she smashed the window of the car next to her as she raced away. 

“Hell’s she doing…?” The man next to you mumbled, and you instinctively put your hand on his shoulder to silence him, even though there was no need. The world had changed in a day, habits had formed in 24 hours, and you wondered how long it would take to shake the new habits. You watched the woman flit between cars, trying to outpace the monsters as she smashed windows, but then something else caught your attention. On the dock, there was a man. Wearing a yellow sweater, carrying something that you couldn’t identify, running like his life depended on it towards the edge of the dock. And maybe it did; a few straggling monsters had started after him instead of the woman, and he had to have known as well as you did that the water was safe. 

Your heart rammed up into your throat as he ran, faster and faster, white sneakers hitting the metal dock, and he looked over his shoulder for a moment at the monster that was meters, feet, away from him, before he righted himself forward and hurtled himself off the edge of the dock. Everyone on the boat was watching now as he flew for a brief moment, suspended in the air as time stood still, and then plummeted into the water below. The monsters skidded to a halt at the edge of the dock, one curled claw extended out, a scrap of yellow cardigan stuck on its talon. 

By now, everyone had come to the same conclusion, and started to gather at the ladder onboarding right next to you— the man would need help coming aboard. You all watched anxiously as he surfaced from the water, frantically looking around and gulping air as he tried to keep his head above water and orient himself. Finally, he looked towards the boat, and you could have sworn that he looked at you instead of anybody else. He gained his senses quickly, starting to swim out towards the boat, and you caught sight of the little white whatever-it-was he was holding: a cat. The cat seemed safe and unharmed, definitely soggy but no worse for wear, and you crouched down, extending your arm down the ladder to meet him. 

You didn’t have the strength to help pull him aboard, but the man who had spoken next to you gently moved you, and he grasped the wet man’s arm and pulled him up the last few rungs of the ladder. He heaved breaths, his eyes all big and round as he took in his surroundings. Then, if you were unsure whether he was looking at you before or not, he extinguished any doubts you had this time around, because his eyeline landed on you. He was startled, hurt, traumatized— those wet eyes had seen some things, worse than you had seen. 

You helped him move away from the ladder and back towards a more secluded part of the boat, and the FEMA woman you had “talked” to before came to your side, a first aid kit in one hand and a heavy wool blanket in the other. 

“Sir?” you croaked. Jesus Christ, speaking really was a challenge. You cleared your throat, hoping that would improve things, and you said, “Sir, are you hurt?” 

He shook his head quickly, clutching the cat in his arms, and you spotted the gash on his shin. The leg of his pants was torn and shredded, and you could bet that the wound was pretty fresh. “You can speak,” you told him gently. “We’re safe here.” 

He looked at you, tears streaming down his face, and in a hushed voice, said, “How can you be so sure?” 

They said the boat ride would last through the day and you would arrive by nightfall, but FEMA assured you that the destination would be worth it. A little island, they said, off the northern coast of the state, that used to house a summer camp but was abandoned however long ago. The buildings there, houses, old camp cabins, would take some sprucing up, they told you, but it was safe, and it could turn into home. As night fell, factions were made, and people divided as best as possible— the vulnerable ones, the hurt ones, the kids, went to the inside part of the boat, and the healthy stayed outside, huddled under the wool blankets and trying to forget the cold November ocean air berating their faces. 

The yellow-cardiganed man was moved inside, and you moved through the small crowd in there, doing what you could to help. Passing out crackers and water bottles, winding gauze around bloody injuries, squeezing hands and offering small words of encouragement. It wasn’t a lot, but it felt good to help. 

Eventually, you couldn’t ignore your fatigue anymore, and you sat down on the floor against the back wall with a sigh. It was a low din inside there, so you felt relatively safe making a little bit of noise, and you sniffled and zipped open the inside pocket of your coat. The stuff you had stashed from your purse was in there, and you frowned down at your brick of a cell phone, the screen shattered. You cast it aside, then pulled out your wallet, rifling through it to see what went missing. Thankfully, your license was still there, so if anybody needed identification at any point, you had that covered; an old fast food gift card that you were sure still had money on it but was useless now; and an old paper movie ticket that you had saved with the intention of putting it in a scrapbook. Your heart panged with hurt, and you checked every other section of your wallet, but it was empty. 

Your house keys were certainly back on the floor of the restaurant, and you thought about the key to your mother’s house that lived on the ring. You hadn’t been able to contact her since the monsters came— the last thing you said to her was a text the morning of brunch, telling her to have a good day, and she had sent the classic mom :-) emoticon to you. Was she still alive? Had she managed to escape the monsters? Even though she didn’t live in the city, you wondered how far the monsters had traveled. Her neighbors were a family, with a high-school age son who played basketball and mowed your mother’s lawn; for your sanity, you chose to believe that they had taken her in (along with her prized African violets). 

A little noise came from in front of you, someone clearing their throat, and you looked up through your welling tears to see him. Damp yellow cardigan, wool blanket loose around his shoulders, curls wet and flat to his forehead. He stood still, watching you for a moment, before he spoke, a little louder than the first time but still a whisper. “Never caught your name,” he said. An accent. Not a native New Yorker. 

You told him with a shrug. Your eyes canvassed his frame, watching him shiver a little in what was probably an adrenaline rush, and your eyes landed on that nasty cut on his shin. It wasn’t actively bleeding, but still very red. It looked maybe a little inflamed, a tiny bit swollen, and you started to reach out for it, but stopped yourself. Your hands were filthy and, if infection was already setting in the way you suspected it was, whatever germs you had probably weren’t good for the wound. You withdrew your hand and settled in your lap, and you cleared your throat. “One of the FEMA people can help with that,” you told him, nodding towards his leg. “Bandages and anti-inflammatories and shit.” 

“Aren’t you a nurse?” the man asked, now his turn to nod at you. You had clipped your badge to the collar of your coat and, even though the plastic flower that had once surrounded the metal clip was shattered and long gone, the clip still served its purpose. 

“I am,” you said. “But I don’t have bandages.” You cracked a loose smile, and you winced at the bottle of water and pile of crackers next to you on the floor. “I’ve got crackers and water.” 

“I’m starving,” he told you, returning the small smile. “May I?” 

You nodded, and he worked himself down to the floor (he seemed to be favoring his left ankle a little, the same leg with the gash). He settled back against the wall, sighing heavily, and he took a pack of crackers into his hands and read the label for a moment. “‘Peanut butter’,” he read. “D’ya like these?” 

“They’re alright,” you said. “I used to buy the same ones, shove ‘em in my work bag to eat between patients. Kinda bland and gross, but they get the job done.” 

He nodded, and he tore the corner of the plastic sleeve and extracted a peanut butter cracker. “I used to like the ones with, erm, cream cheese and chives,” he said. “A quick snack at work. S’never what I wanted to eat, but sometimes I’d be at the office ‘til late, and at that point, take what you can get, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you agreed. “What did you do?” 

“Lawyer,” he said, popping one of the crackers into his mouth. 

“Oh, shit,” you chuckled. “Yeah, you had some long nights… My sister’s husband is a paralegal, he used to tell me all about it.” 

“Cool,” he told you. “And you, Miss Nurse?”

“And me what?” you asked.

“What’s your husband do?” he asked. 

You laughed. You couldn’t help it. “I’d have to have one of those for him to have a job,” you said. “No, being a nurse is very, like… If you’re not married by the time you leave nursing school, all hope is lost. You won’t ever have any free time to go on dates or even think about that sorta stuff.” 

“Same with law school,” he told you. “All my mates were engaged or married when we graduated, and everyone always told me, ‘Oh, Eric, you’ll find the right girl! She’s out there somewhere’, and it’s like… If she’s not in my office building or on the subway home at 2AM, I’m not meeting her.” 

“You went to school around here?” you asked, and he (you assumed his name was Eric, based on his anecdote) nodded, then shrugged. 

“Cornell,” he said. “Then got hired at a firm in the city, and just… Never left.” 

“Well, that’s cool,” you said lightly. “I’m assuming you’re not from around here?”

He shook his head. “Kent,” he said. “About an hour out from London.”

“Wow,” you said softly. “That change must’ve been… A lot.”

Eric shrugged. “I dunno,” he said. “It was alright, I suppose. At that time, I was sorta fighting with my dad all the time, really wanting to leave and go somewhere but he didn’t want that…” He trailed off, letting the conclusion form by itself. “Haven’t seen ‘em in-person since then. I always said I was busy, or it was too expensive, or… I was supposed to go back home at Christmas… My sister had a baby and I was supposed to meet him then…” He trailed off, obviously at a loss for what else to say, and you sighed.

“I’m sure they’re okay,” you told him, even though you yourself doubted it. “I mean, maybe the monsters are only here. They don’t like water; if they came from here, they can’t get over there.”

Eric nodded slowly. His eyes scanned the room, looking and listening, and he reached his hand out in front of him, making a small noise with his tongue against his teeth. You followed his gaze and found his cat, all furry with white and black spots, being adored and pet by a little boy sitting on a cot close by, and Eric tutted at the cat again. The cat turned their big dark eyes to their owner, and dutifully trotted over, snuggling in-between Eric’s criss-cross-applesauce legs.

“Who’s this?” you asked.

“Frodo,” Eric said, stroking the cat between his ears. Frodo began to purr, his eyes closing blissfully, and Eric said, “He was my friend’s, but she… She told me to take care of him.”

Your mind brought back the image of the woman running, distracting the monsters away from Eric. “Was that the one who…?” you started, and Eric nodded.

“He was her service animal,” he said. “She had cancer, he sort-of alerted her whenever her pain medication was going out… Also kept her company in hospice. He’s quiet, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Well, none of us have to worry about that,” you said, and Eric took in a breath. “Not anymore. Not with the island.”

“Right,” Eric sighed. “Almost forgot.”

“I’m worried I’ll never go back to normal,” you admitted. “Even just two days of thinking like this… Trauma’s so fucking weird.”

Eric nodded in agreement. You caught him staring at your hands, shaking and shivering as they laid in your lap, and he started to unwind the blanket from around himself to settle over you, but you shook your head. “M’not cold,” you told him. “Just… Nervous. Y’know?”

Eric watched you for a moment, making sure that you weren’t bullshitting him (you were a little; your coat was wet through, and you definitely could do with a dry coat, but you would live), and he said, “I think you need to pet my cat.”

“Do I?” you asked with a chuckle.

“You sure do,” Eric nodded. “He doesn’t bite or scratch— he might nibble your fingers a little, but only ‘cause he’s curious.”

You reached out for Frodo, letting him sniff your hand a little before he shoved his solid little head under your fingers, squinting his eyes as you started to scratch behind his ears. You couldn’t help the smile that overtook your face, and you said, “He’s very sweet.”

“He’s smart too,” Eric said. “He can do maths. Look’it: Frodo, what’s one minus one?”

Frodo, of course, responded in silence, and Eric smiled, cocking his head. “I think that’s impressive,” he said, and you huffed out a laugh.

“Silly,” you mumbled under your breath, moving to scratch Frodo on his chin. “When’s the last time he’s eaten? I can try to find something for him.”

“Last night,” Eric said, his smile faltering. “Sam might’ve given him something earlier this morning, but I didn’t wake up until later.”

That’s how you greeted the island, petting Frodo and sharing light stories about your past lives. Nothing too heavy or sad or emotional, even though it felt like any story about your past life held an air of sadness and mourning. You could try to go back to normal, but normal was long gone. As everyone departed the boat under the dusky stars, there was a large team of FEMA workers to greet you with big, heavy bags and send you to an empty cabin for the night. You and Eric (and Frodo) stuck together, and you received your bags and moved down to a cabin. To your surprise, the lights worked, as did a small space heater in the corner, but you can tell it had been running for some time, because the inside was already warm. Several beds were set up and made with thin, government-issued bedsheets, but it was far better than nothing.

You went about unpacking the bag as Eric moved to the small bathroom and shut the door. There was a change of clothes, sweatshirt and pants and underwear and socks, basic toiletries like a toothbrush and shampoo and a small bar of soap, two bottles of water, a plastic packaged MRE (you had Menu 3, “chicken, egg noodles, and vegetables in sauce”), and some things like Band-Aids and small packages of Advil like what you kept stocked in the ER, along with a sanitary napkin, and, the piece de resistance (courtesy of the American government, you’re very welcome), a condom. You frowned at the last thing and slid it into your toiletries bag underneath the bar of soap to hide it; to be frank, sex was the last thing you wanted or needed. Your brain was still in survival mode, and you didn’t even feel like you could settle down enough to sleep, let alone to fuck. Could anybody here?

You heard the shower squeak on in the bathroom, and the pipes creaked as water rushed through. You stripped off your clothes, exchanging them for the warmer and drier and less dirty option, and you sniffled as your fingers began to warm up, becoming less stiff but considerably more sweaty. The bed creaked under you as you sat down, the springs screaming at you, and you rubbed the paper-thin blanket between your fingers. It reminded you of the quality of the hospital, where you might as well be using copy paper instead of fabric. If you had known that your last night in your bed, with your memory foam pillow and weighted blanket, would truly be your last, you would have savored the experience far more. Would you even be warm enough under those blankets?

You couldn’t ponder it any longer, because Frodo suddenly caught a bee in his bonnet, and he skittered from atop the second bed, where Eric had settled his things before he went to the shower. He careened to the closed bathroom door, and he got up on his hind legs, pawing at the door handle. Wordlessly, he craned his tiny head to look at you, and he made the first cat noise you heard him make, a sort of “mrrow” chirping groan. As you got up and went to grab him (“Eric’s just taking a shower, Fro, he’ll be right back”), Frodo turned back to the door and began to bat at the handle, like he was attempting to turn it.

And then you remembered. Frodo was a service cat. He had been trained to alert for certain things, and Eric had mentioned rising pain levels, but what else could Frodo alert for? Suddenly, your heart jumped into your throat, and you knocked on the door. “Eric? You okay?” you asked, but you received no answer. “Eric? Hey, man, Frodo’s freaking out, are you alright in there?”

It was hard to hear too much over the sound of the running shower, but you heard the unmistakable shaking breath of a gasping sob, and, maybe against your better judgement, you turned the door handle. The door wasn’t locked, and the hinges squeaked as you opened the door. Eric had shed his blanket and cardigan and loosened his tie, but he was backed into the far corner of the bathroom, staring at the porcelain bathtub with eyes as big as dinner plates. The faucet was running, the tub filling up, but Eric was frozen. Quickly, you turned the tap and shut off the water, and you gave him his space as you asked “What’s wrong? Can you tell me what happened?”

Eric shook his head, his mouth contorting into an ugly sob, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Tears leaked out, and he just kept shaking his head over and over. “No, no,” he mumbled. “No!”

“Hey, easy,” you told him gently. “What’s going on? How can I help?”

“Th-The water,” Eric gasped. “I—I—” His knees gave out, and he slumped against the wall with a sob. He began to claw at his shirt, at the topmost button; even though it was undone, he still seemed to want it looser.

You rushed to his aid, pushing his hands aside and starting at his shirt buttons. His eyes were still shut tight, but you needed to see his pupils— if he was in shock, or if something else was happening, the dilation of his pupils could help tell you. “Eric,” you said softly. “Open your eyes, please. Please? I need to see your eyes.”

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, and you saw his pupils so big and dark, they almost overtook the brown of his iris. His face was pale, his chest heaving as you undid his buttons, and you pressed your fingers to the side of his neck to check his pulse. Fast, hard, heavy. You had been by his side all night, he hadn’t taken any medication that he could be having a reaction to, and he had been eating the same crackers and water that you had. There weren’t many other conclusions to come to— a panic attack. But at what?

Eric sank down to the floor, sobbing and shaking, and you followed him, putting a gentle but controlling grip on his wrists. You didn’t think he would, but you needed to control him if he started to get violent. “Eric, take a breath,” you told him. “You’re okay. You’re safe. Nothing’s going to hurt you, okay? Everything is alright.”

Eric sucked in a breath and doubled over on himself, and you kept your hands on his wrists as you shifted away— if he got sick, you didn’t want it on your clothes. Although, you were sure you could get different ones somehow. But he didn’t get sick, he just kept crying. You felt awful and tasted bitter in your mouth. Typically, at this point, you would be paging the mental health wing to come by and evaluate him, and you’d move on to the next person waiting in the ER. You didn’t know how to talk someone down from a panic attack. You didn’t even know how to do that for yourself, let alone for Eric.

“Okay,” you whispered. “Okay, it’s okay. What happened? Did something happen?”

Eric’s eyes glazed over you and settled behind your shoulder, and you looked back to see the bathtub. It was hardly half-full, but everything clicked into place. “The water,” you said. “You’re afraid of the water. Is that it?”

Eric sniffled and nodded weakly, and you blinked away tears. “That’s okay,” you whispered. “That’s totally okay. I mean, you had to jump into the water to get away from the monsters, I don’t blame you for being afraid—”

“I was down in the subway,” Eric blurted out. “When the monsters came. I was there, and I couldn’t stop thinking, I just kept thinking, and I… I didn’t have the guts to do it. I wanted to do it, I wanted to! But I was too scared that it would hurt. Was scared I’d looked too fucked up and they wouldn’t be able to tell who I was, and my-my mum, thinking about my mum being told, it would kill her, and I was just thinking… And the water came rushing in. Filled everything up, there was no air… I had to swim, and I can’t swim, I never learned really, but I was swimming and I just thought ‘I don’t actually want to die’. But I started feeling spotty, all lightheaded and fairy, and I think I was starting to drown, but I saw the light and came up…”

You were at a loss for words. If you were understanding him, he had been trying to kill himself before the monsters. It sounded like he was moments away from stepping in front of a train. His saving grace was the flood in the tunnels. You had trouble swallowing as your throat went thick, and you lowered your eyes for a minute before you loosened your grip on his wrists. “It’s okay,” you whispered. “You’re gonna be alright. Do you want to take a shower instead?”

Eric shook his head. “Doesn’t work,” he mumbled. “Only the tub does.”

You sighed heavily. “Do you want me to stay?” you asked. “Or I can wait outside the door?”

Eric seemed edging into a catatonic state, just shivering and blinking, and you frowned. You finished your abandoned job of undoing his shirt buttons, and you loosened his tie until it came off completely, and you gently pushed off his stained and ragged buttoned shirt. His undershirt wasn’t in much better shape, the underarms and neck stained with sweat, and you started to take it off, but paused. “Is this okay?” you asked. He didn’t react to your question, just staring at your neck, and you carefully angled his head up to look you in the face. “Eric. Is it okay if I undress you and put you in the bath? I’ll be right here the whole time, I won’t leave you alone.”

Eric weakly nodded, shifting his arms a little to better help you pull his undershirt over his head, and his hands went down to his pants to finish the job. You quickly considered what the next steps were as Eric fished his belt from his pants loops, and you pushed the sleeves of your sweatshirt up to your elbows to free up your hands. Eric, now only in his boxers, gave you a pathetic look, and you took him by the hand and helped him to his feet. You figured that he had forgone removing his boxers for a reason, so you didn’t push it, and you held him stable as he lifted a shaking foot over the edge of the bathtub. He was silent, but you watched tears run down his cheeks as he settled both feet in the water, his grip on your hand so tight that it almost hurt.

Slowly, he sat down in the tub, and the water splashed your hand. It was warm but not hot enough to hurt, and you sat by the edge of the bathtub, watching Eric as he sniffled. He certainly was dirty after two days in an apocalyptic city, and you were sure that you weren’t any better off, and you started to get up to retrieve the toiletry bag that he had brought in with him, settled by the sink, but his tight grip only became more vice-like as you tried to depart. “Don’t—” he choked out, and you shushed him gently.

“I’m not leaving,” you told him. “Just getting the shampoo and stuff, just by the sink.”

“Can you get in?” Eric asked softly, almost at a whisper. “When you come back?”

“I-In?” you repeated. “Like, in the bath?”

Eric nodded. He was watching you with his big, intense eyes, and a shiver ran down your back.

“Okay,” you told him. “Umm… I don’t know if I can. I don’t have any other clothes, and I can’t get these wet.”

“Please?” Eric whimpered. “Need… Just need help.”

Maybe it was because you felt bad for him, or maybe you were feeling something that you didn’t want to consider yet, but regardless of the reason, you nodded. You got up from the floor and retrieved the bag from the sink counter, and you came back to the tub. The sides of the tub were curved, not allowing for you to settle the stuff on the edge, and you quickly handed the shampoo and soap to him. He held them gingerly, and he averted his eyes down to the water as you put the bag down and started to pull off the sweatshirt. “Eric,” you said softly. “You can look. You’re gonna see everything in the next few minutes anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

Slowly, Eric raised his eyes up, but he still didn’t look staright at you. At least now it wasn’t obvious that he was avoiding looking at you like before, where it felt like he would be burned alive if he looked. You carefully pulled the sweatshirt over your head and set it by your feet, then you pulled down the sweatpants and stepped out of them. Your heart was beating quickly as you lowered yourself into the bathtub, sitting with your back to Eric, and he nudged his legs a little wider to allow you to sit comfortably. The water felt good on your aching muscles, especially your back, and you sighed lightly. You sat for a moment, trying to drum up enough courage to turn to him and start to help, but he beat you to it.

Eric’s hands were warm, his palm a little rough, as he touched your shoulder, sliding his hand down a little to reach your back. His fingers played with the ends of your hair, and he lowered his hand back to the water. He cupped his palm and let water flow in, then he brought it up to you and wet your hair. Was this his definition of help? To help himself, he had to help others? It made sense, but it still took you a little by surprise. You don’t think anybody had ever washed your hair for you, not since you were a kid. But this was different, in just about every way possible. It was intimate in a way that made your breath catch in your throat, and you swallowed thickly as Eric lifted a hand and tilted your head back to lightly pour water over the front of your hair. He was careful in his work, making sure not to get it on your face or in your ears, and you listened to his breathing even out as he diligently did his task.

The shampoo was some cheap, basic crap, didn’t smell like anything and was only good for getting the oil out of your hair, but the way that Eric worked it into your hair made it seem like it was made by the gods. You felt relaxed, the first time in a long time, and your eyes slipped close as his fingertips worked into your scalp. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt that good, especially by someone else’s hands— maybe years, it was hard to say. You knew that, no matter how good it felt, you couldn’t sink too hard into the feeling of it. Eric just needed to help you, and this was his help; nothing more, nothing less.

He gently poured water from his palms over your hair, rinsing it out as best as possible, and you felt that hot streak shoot up your nose. You wanted to cry. You hadn’t cried in… You had no idea. It certainly had been a long time, and you frowned and gulped as you held down the tears. Unluckily for you (or maybe luckily; it was nice to know Eric was so attentive), he noticed your catched breathing, and his hands gently settled on your shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asked gently.

“Are you?” you answered, almost a knee-jerk reaction. Don’t worry about yourself, worry about your patient, your friend, anybody else. You came last in your mind, everybody else was more important than you.

“That’s not what I asked you,” Eric said firmly. “Are you okay?”

“I…” you started. You wanted to tell him that you were fine, that nothing was wrong. He didn’t need to worry about you, you were tough, you could handle yourself. You watched as water filtered through your own fingers, pooling in your palm but escaping out of every little break and crevice possible, and you pursed your lips as you slowly rubbed your face, trying to wash away to grime and dirt. You shook your head lightly, trying to come up with any words to express yourself, and you wiped off your cheeks as you sniffled. “I don’t know.” You couldn’t come up with any better explanation; you just didn’t know if you were okay or not. Your hands slid down your face and flattened up against your neck, and you sighed. “Are you okay?” you tried again.

“I’ll be okay,” Eric told you. His hands smoothed down your shoulders to your arms, and he squeezed your upper arm for a moment before he went for the soap, starting up a lather between his palms.

“Well, sure, we’ll all be okay eventually,” you replied. “But are you okay right now?”

Eric waited until he was washing your back to answer. His sudsy hands slipped over your skin easily, but he dug his fingertips into your muscles, offering relief. “I’ll be okay,” he repeated. “I don’t know what I am right now, to be honest. Head’s just full of… I don’t know. A whole lot of noise, but not any one thing. It’s all quiet out here, but in there, it’s just…” He sighed, and his hands halted at your sides. He obviously had been on track to move to your front, doing his job on autopilot, and he only thought about what he was doing as he was about to do it.

Silently, you shifted your weight back just a hint, closer to him, trying to tell him that it was alright without saying the words. He quickly caught on to what you were telling him, and his hands slid around your body to your front. To your relief, he avoided where you had expected his hands to go, instead wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging himself to you, setting his chin on your shoulder. “You make it quiet up there,” Eric whispered, barely above a breath, like he was afraid of saying it out loud. “I don’t know how, I don’t know why… But you start talking, and it’s like everything else fades away.”

That was your breaking point. Tears started to fall from your eyes, and you sniffled as your hands reached up to your neck and clutched his wrists, looking for anything tangible to hold on to while you cried. And cried you did, your face contorted as you sobbed, your shoulders shaking and chest heaving, and you squeezed Eric’s wrists. He was quick to move impossibly closer, molding his front to your back, and his arms slipped down to your middle, squeezing you tightly as he buried his face in your neck and began to cry as well. He was much quieter than you, not having nearly as much that he held back and needed to get rid of, but it felt good to have someone commiserate with you.

You weren’t sure who moved first— maybe there wasn’t a first to move, maybe you both moved at the same time— but somehow your foreheads came to touch, and your crying pettered down to a sniffle and watery eyes. Your hand came up to touch his cheek, scruffy with a few days’ old beard trying to grow in, and your thumb stroked his cheekbone. He keened into your touch, his eyes fluttering open to look at you. His big brown eyes, so full of every emotion, hidden just so but easy to see if you knew where to look, locked on yours, and your lips fell open in anticipation of his mouth on yours.

Instantly, though, you shifted away and lightly cleared your throat. This wasn’t the time for that. You didn’t know if there would ever be a time for that again. Quietly, you splashed water on your face, and stood up, carefully getting out of the bathtub and going after the towel that sat on the countertop. You scooped your clothes up off the floor as well, and you escaped from the bathroom without a word. You were sure he was confused, maybe even wounded, but you didn’t care. On some level, you did want that— you wanted to feel wanted, to feel adored, cared about, and Eric was a great guy for that, but you didn’t want just that. You wanted a life, you wanted a partner, you wanted love— not just some trauma-borne fuck that you forgot about as soon as it happened.

You dried your body and slipped into your full outfit, pants and sweatshirt and underwear and socks, and you sat on your bed as you dried your hair. You listened as, inside the bathroom, the water sloshed against the side of the tub while Eric moved around, and you watched as Frodo calmly stalked the perimeter of the room, seeming to check every nook and cranny. You put your damp towel to the side and tutted out at the cat, and Frodo looked up at you for a moment before he scampered over to you, hopping up onto the bed and settling himself in your lap. “You’re a good boy, Fro,” you whispered, stroking his back. “Such a good boy.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Eric’s voice floated to you, and you turned to him. He was now all clean as well, his hair soggy and his face free of grime, wearing the sweatpants and sweatshirt. His hair was pushed away from his face, and you could see, even in the dim light, freckles dotting his forehead.

You sighed. “No,” you replied. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Did you not want me to…?” Eric began.

“No, no, it’s not that,” you told him quickly. “Not that at all, I did want you to, I just… I don’t know if I can do all that.”

“All what?” Eric asked. “What did you think was going to happen if I kissed you?”

“Well,” you shrugged. “I don’t know, I assumed more would come of it. And I just don’t know if I’m ready for more. Even before the world came crashing down, I wasn’t ready for more. That’s why I didn’t have anyone; not because I didn’t have time, although that was true. I’m just… Scared.”

Eric quietly moved towards you, bypassing his bed and settling at the extreme edge of yours, as far away as possible while still occupying the same space. Frodo looked at him with thin eyes and he slowly blinked at Eric, and his tail flopped in an indignant half-wag. “Scared of what?” Eric asked.

You sighed. “That I won’t be right for anyone,” you said. “Even back when I was on the market, people always… I don’t know. Wanted more, and for whatever reason, I could never give more to them. I was always so afraid of what would happen when I finally gave all of myself to someone that I never did, and by the time I figured out that someone did want all of me, it was too late and I’d already lost them. I can never win— I’m always never enough or I’m too much. I’m never just right.”

Eric thought on your words for a few moments, and he moved closer to you, just an inch. “Yeah,” he said. “But that was back then. Everything has changed. Everything is different now. You don’t need to be afraid of being what’s right, because what used to be right is just… All sorts of fucked up now. Nobody knows anything anymore. I certainly don’t. But I know what I want, more than I ever have before.”

“And let me guess,” you said. “You want me?”

You hoped that calling him out on his cheesy cliché would have him back down. You liked that he wanted you, and you wanted him too, you wanted him so badly that it hurt, but you didn’t want him to mistake wanting you for wanting a connection with someone.

“I want to be okay again,” Eric told you. “But I need you.”

That was the most magical word of all. Need. It punched a hole in your heart and took your breath away, and you watched him as he watched you, just seeing who would dare to break first. Frodo seemed to know something you didn’t, because he jumped up out of your lap and skittered across the room with an uncharacteristic yowl, and you frowned as he sped away, but your frown was quickly wiped off your face as Eric bridged the gap and kissed you.

You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. He held your face as his lips moulded to yours, a perfect fit as you kissed back, and you wound your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. It felt good to kiss someone, to hold someone and be held by someone. You forgot how much you missed the feeling of another person, and you melted into his body as he claimed your hips in his strong hands. His knuckles were scuffed up, but he held you so gently, and you easily fell back onto the bed. He followed you, settling over you like he had done it a thousand times before, but the way his hands slowly slid up the sides of your shirt to touch your bare skin showed you how much it meant to him. Slow and gentle and sweet, he was everything you had wanted from a partner and a lover for as long as you could remember.

But you could tell, even though he was being sweet, how badly he wanted to have you. His kiss was greedy, shifting away from your mouth to kiss your chin and jaw and neck, almost feral with his need for you, but you welcomed it. Strong emotions like that were flattering, especially here and now, and you didn’t waste much time before sliding your hand past the elastic waistband of the sweatpants nestled around his hips. Your palm found his cock instantly, and you held in your gasp of surprise at his size— he definitely had something to be proud of. His skin was warm through the layer of his underwear, and you paused and widened your eyes at him, a quiet question of how far he wanted you to go.

“You don’t have to be quiet anymore,” Eric whispered. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

You shivered underneath him at the sweet name he had bestowed on you, and you quietly asked, “Do you want me to…?”

“God, yes,” he moaned. “Haven’t done this in so long…”

You couldn’t help but crack a smile as you slipped under his briefs, and your fingers wrapped around his thick length. His skin was hot to the touch, his cock rock-hard, and he moaned softly into your neck at the contact. Whether he meant to or not, his hips rolled forward, pushing himself further into your grip, and he quickly whispered, “M’sorry, fuck—”

“Don’t apologize,” you told him. Your free hand went to cradle his cheek, and you shifted his face so that you could kiss his plush lips again. “It’s hot.”

“Oh, yeah?” Eric asked. “It’s hot how…” He paused to kiss you, nipping at your bottom lip with his front teeth, and he continued. “How desperate I am?”

“I am too,” you told him. “I just hide it better.”

Almost as if he was checking if you were lying, his hand skated down from your side and into your pants, letting his fingers mold to your cunt, and he chuckled lightly. “God, you’re wet,” he smiled. “That makes me feel better.”

“Were you worried I wasn’t?” you asked.

“Just a little,” Eric whispered, wrinkling his nose. “But I figured you’d tell me if something wasn’t working for you.”

“I’ll let you know,” you told him. You chased him into another kiss, and his tongue invaded your mouth. It had been so long since you had someone make you feel like that, and you whined softly into his mouth. “Eric, please.”

“What do you want?” he asked. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”

“Anything,” you whimpered. Your legs shifted, coming up to anchor around his waist, and you slowly started to stroke his cock, teasing his soft head, just to see his reaction.

Thankfully, his cheeks went red, and that pretty pink mouth of his opened in a moan, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he mumbled, “Fuck, sweetheart, I’m already too close for you to be doing that.”

“Already?” you asked. You sounded a little more surprised than you meant to, and you quickly added, “That’s really attractive, Eric, I hope you know that.”

“What is?” he chuckled. “That I’ve got a short fuse?”

“Well, yeah,” you shrugged sheepishly. “I think it is, anyway. How can I help you?”

“Umm,” Eric said, then swallowed thickly. “Can I… Tits?”

You smiled at him, and you laid a gentle kiss on his lips before he shifted away, letting you pull up your sweatshirt. Your little survival packs hadn’t provided you with a bra of any kind, and you watched Eric’s already-wide eyes flare out at the sight of your chest. He didn’t say a word before he moved down your body and started to kiss everywhere he could reach, taking time and care on your tits. Your hand fell out of his pants at the angle shift, and you settled your fingers to twist in his damp curls as his own hand replaced yours, jerking himself off as he gently licked at your hardening nipple.

“S’that okay?” he whispered, casting his doe eyes up at you, and you nodded quickly. “’Cause if it’s not, I can stop—”

“I promise it’s okay,” you whispered. “I swear.”

Eric smiled. “She swears,” he whispered under his breath, and you giggled. “She swears she likes when I suck her tits. Aren’t I a lucky guy?”

You could hardly ignore the hot pressure between your legs, and you snaked your hand in-between your bodies and started to push down your sweatpants, but Eric noticed what you were up to, and he tugged his hand out of his own pants to capture the waistband of your sweatpants in his grasp. “Please,” he said. “Allow me.” You could tell that he intended to be funny, but his flushed face and fucked-out pupils made it seem a lot more pathetic than you’re sure he meant to be, but that just made a rush of heat strike your core, and your head fell back in bliss as you felt your hot skin slowly exposed to the air.

When you lifted your head back up to look at him, you watched as he shed his own clothes, finally matching you, and you bit your lip as his heavy cock rose to lay against his tummy. He had the thinnest trail of hair coming from down his belly button, smatterings of hair on his chest, a nicely-groomed bush of hair at the base of his cock; he clearly cared about the way he looked, and you loved that. You wondered if the Eric you knew was anything like the Eric before the monsters came, and you watched as he leaned back and began to gently place kisses down the length of your body. He was soft and gentle with you, although you were nearly certain he wanted to take you then and there, and you wiggled a little under his lips. “Can we…” you started. “Do that later?”

“Do what?” Eric asked.

“The whole ‘sweet and kissy’ thing,” you said. “Not to sound, like, sex-starved or anything, but I am, and I think my heart’s gonna explode if you’re not inside me soon.”

Eric chuckled, obviously not expecting that level of honesty out of you, and he pushed his damp curls off of his forehead. “Whatever you’d like, sweetheart,” he told you. “As long as you promise to let me eat your cunt eventually. I can only go so long seeing you like this and be expected to not put my mouth on you.”

“Sure,” you replied, secretly excited that he was expecting a second time.

Eric swiped a quick kiss on your mouth, and then he furrowed his eyebrows. “Umm…” he began. “I— Do you… Are you on any birth control or anything?”

You squeezed your eyes shut. “No,” you sighed. “I was, but all that’s back in my apartment in Brooklyn. Haven’t taken my pill since, like, three nights ago, so I’m basically fucked for the whole month.”

“Fuck,” Eric whispered, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. “I guess, are you alright with this, then? We can figure something else out—”

“There’s, umm,” you winced. “A condom, in the bag with the shampoo and everything. There’s one in mine, and I bet there’s a second one in yours too.”

“Oh, shit, really?” Eric laughed. “That’s… That’s pretty funny.”

“Apparently, FEMA knows what people do in times of crisis,” you smiled.

“So, what I’m hearing,” Eric started, moving himself off the bed and going to your toiletries bag on the floor. His back turned to you, and you felt your eyes widen in shock at the state of his ass. Jesus Christ, this guy had a great ass, smooth and plump and perfectly rounded; you almost wanted to reach out and bite it. “Is that we can fuck twice, and then we’ll need to figure something else out.”

“Is that so?” you asked, and Eric came back to the bed, deftly tearing open the condom wrapper. You leaned up on your elbows to watch as he got back up on his knees, caging you between his thick thighs, and he made quick work of rolling the condom down his thick length, making a quiet grunt as he got it situated the way he wanted. “What makes you think there’ll be a third time? Or a second, for that matter?”

“Won’t there?” Eric asked. “You seem pretty into it right now. Or least your cunt is; look at how wet she is for me.”

“Well, yeah, now,” you teased him, biting the tip of your tongue, trying to will your thundering heart to go back to normal. “But what if, when everything is said and done, you’re actually a terrible fuck and I don’t want anything else to do with you?”

He laughed deep in his chest, and he took your thighs in his strong hands and opened your legs, smoothly settling himself so he could rub his hard cock against your weeping cunt. You felt blood thrumming under your skin, making every inch of you pulse and surge, and you whined high in your throat when the head of his cock caught at your hole, threatening to slip in with ease. “I doubt that, sweetheart,” he told you. “I’ve been told I’m a fantastic fuck.”

“Are you sure they weren’t trying to keep your ego intact?” you asked, and Eric tilted his head curiously at you.

“Well, they weren’t telling me much of anything,” he said. “Usually, by the end, they’re so fucked-out and brainless that they can hardly string a sentence together.”

Then, without a word of warning, he gripped your hips and slid himself inside of you, and you gasped. It had been so long that you had almost forgotten what sex felt like, but this was something entirely new and different. You could feel every ridge and vein on his cock, even through the condom, and he gave a delicious throb as you tightened your thighs around his hips. “Fuck!” you yelped, and a shade of worry passed over his face for just a moment. “I-I’m okay,” you told him quickly. “Just… Fuck, Eric, you’re so big.”

“You flatter me,” he chuckled. Slowly, he began to rock his hips into you, moving shallowly at first, just letting you get used to his size, and his dull fingernails buried into the flesh of your hip. You couldn’t help all the little noises he caused you to make— you could feel every inch of him, burying deep within you, stretching you and filling you like he was made for you, and he leaned down and ghosted against your lips with his. “Feel good?” he whispered, and you nodded quickly.

“Do I?” you asked softly. Your arms went around him, holding him close to you, and you pressed your fingers into his shoulders. He felt like a lifeline, his warm skin keeping you grounded, and you didn’t even care if you sounded pathetic or insecure. He made you feel good and safe, and that’s all that you cared about.

“Fuck, so good,” he grunted out. He was picking up speed, gaining a good rhythm that made you wonder how prolific he had been before his career got in the way, and you listened to the bed squeak under you as he mumbled, “So warm… So wet… You feel like a dream… Remember that short fuse I talked about?”

“Really?” you smiled. “Already?”

“Listen, woman,” Eric started, and you dragged him into a messy kiss. You loved him talking like that, and it made you realize just how close you were as well. He tugged away from the kiss to take a deep breath, and he went in to kiss you again, hungry and wanting you. He was going fast now, pumping in and out of you, leaving pleasure and sparks in his wake, and your legs twitched and tightened as the knot in your belly twisted closer and closer to its end. “I haven’t had sex in years,” Eric continued, finally tearing himself away from your lips. “And my right hand can only do so much after a while. So excuse me for being a little quick to the draw tonight.”

“How many years?” you asked.

Eric sighed. “I dunno,” he said. “At least since I graduated law school, so… Five years, maybe?”

“God,” you chuckled. “That’s… A while.”

“No, wait,” Eric said. “Three years. My birthday a few years ago, my mates took me out to a bar, and I met a girl, I spent the night at her place… And she never answered my texts after that.”

“Ouch,” you hissed. “That must’ve hurt that ego of yours.”

“Not gonna lie, it did,” Eric laughed. “But it’s for the best. I didn’t have time for a girlfriend anyway, I would’ve been an awful boyfriend to her. Or to anyone, not just her… What about you?”

“Umm…” you started. “Sex… Yes, I know what that is. Definitely a thing I’ve had before now.”

“Don’t play with me like that,” Eric started, jokingly wide-eyed and startled, and you laughed.

“About the same, I guess,” you said. “Three-ish years… It was back a few years ago, I was feeling bad about getting older and having a career but no partner, so I… I went on a dating app, found a guy, and we talked for a little bit and hooked up, but I got a bad vibe from him, so I broke it off.”

“I’m sorry,” Eric said. “Did you like him?”

“Not really,” you sighed. “And he wasn’t even that great in bed.”

“So, I’ve got him beat in every category, right?” Eric asked.

You kissed him again, cupping your hand across the back of his neck, and he smoothed his hands up your body lovingly. “You’ve got everyone beat, baby,” you told him.

“I think you’re an angel, actually,” Eric told you, and you shyly shook your head. “No, no, I think so. I don’t care if you don’t agree, that’s what I think.”

“Whatever you say,” you told him. “Can you, umm… Maybe a little faster?”

Eric obliged, pistoning his hips quicker to fuck you to your liking, and his hand floated to your pussy, his thumb gently rubbing at your throbbing little clit. You whined and scratched at his back, tightening your legs and digging your heel into that ass he had, and the electric shocks that ran up your toes and into the rest of your body started to become too good, too much. “Eric!” you gasped. “Eric, fuck!”

“I’ve got you, angel,” Eric whispered in your ear. “I’ve got you. Let me see that pretty face when you cum, yeah? Wanna feel your cunt squeeze me, fuck, I need it.”

You looked down at yourself, watching as his hard cock plunged in and out of your hole, leaving a creamy ring at the base of his cock, and your whining and whimpering almost had the wet squelch of your bodies together beat. Then, almost against your will, your whole body relaxed, every muscle feeling like it went slack, and you sobbed out your final moan, your head falling back as your nails went hard into his freckled shoulders. You felt your wet cover your inner thighs, and you panted as Eric chased his own end. You didn’t have to wait too long before you heard him choke back a moan, and he spilled himself inside the condom. You felt the warmth of his spend inside you, and he slowly pulled out of you with a hiss at the sensation on his sensitive, softening cock.

He was quick to take care of the condom, and he came back to the bed and settled in the small, empty space beside you. His red chest was heaving, his cheeks flooded with pink color, and he wrapped his arm around you and tugged you close to him. You melted into his warmth, mashing your cheek against his hard chest, and he let out a breathy laugh. “Fuck,” he gasped. “I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t eaten real food all day or what, but I’m exhausted.”

“Me too,” you giggled. “I think you were just that good.”

“Once again, angel,” Eric whispered, settling a soft kiss on your head. “You flatter me.”

You fell into a comfortable silence then, listening to each other’s breathing even out, and Eric cleared his throat after a while. “Typically, at this point,” he started. “I’d be smoking a cigarette.”

“Oh my God, Eric, no,” you groaned. “Don’t you know how unhealthy that is?”

“Oh, right,” Eric chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Miss Nurse. So concerned for my health.”

“Right,” you told him. “I care about you, and I don’t want you to have breathing complications or worse early in life from smoking.”

“I think I’ll manage,” Eric told you. “I think I need another shower after that, though.”

“You do sorta stink,” you giggled, and Eric rolled his eyes. “If you shower, I can be making food.”

“Food?” Eric asked. “There’s food?”

“Yeah, an MRE,” you told him, and you grunted as you got out of bed, going in search of the plastic-packaged meal. “Chicken and noodles. I didn’t see what yours was.”

“Fuck,” he laughed. “I’ve got a sexy woman making dinner for me? I might keep you around after all.”

“You have to keep me around,” you told him. “Who else is supposed to help you raise your cat?”

Frodo seemed to know his cue, because he revealed himself from behind a bookshelf, batting a bit of cobweb on his nose, and Eric smiled. “I suppose you’re right,” Eric said. “Just don’t feed him too much; he’ll get fat. He’ll also try to attack your hand if you pet his belly, so don’t do that either.”

“Noted,” you told him. “Go shower, handsome, this should be done by then.”

Eric took a moment to wrap his arms around you and press a kiss to your temple, and he softly said, “I wish we could have met any other way. But, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here now.”

“Me too,” you told him, turning in his arms to give him a real, genuine kiss. “I’m so glad you found me.”

[nerdstrings]

Captain Christopher Pike is an infosec nightmare.

His command code string is 2-4-6-8-10. Like what

M’Benga insinuates it’s been this way for a long time and Pike has never changed it

The man is walking around with command codes that IT set for him by default and told him to reset the first time he logged in and he just. Never did that.

The Serene Squall pirate crew tortured him for this code. They could’ve just fuckin’ guessed it in one go.

But they didn’t know that and their mistaking this man for a competent firewall led to him great-british-baking his way into a mutiny incitation and escape. anyway

Pike is Starfleet’s best, a Boy Scout, who is also gonna get them fuckin’ hacked

This man is sooo socially engineerable

He has never once completed a required infosec course

I know this because he walks onto the USS Discovery and expects them to just hand him command. Because he’s nice and he said so and obviously he means it, scout’s honor. Nevermind that an official fleet communique has never arrived, or that his identity is entirely unconfirmed

He’s so wonderful because he’s so kind and trusting but he is so phishable for the same reasons

The human brain has spindle neurons that are associated with emotion and social behaviors. On earth, these evolved separately in only three types of creatures - great apes/humans, elephants, and dolphins. Cetacean Ops is a thing; Elephantid Ops is not. Presumably the dolphins keep their shit together and the elephants don’t. And then there’s the highly-decorated human captain of the fleet’s flagship just. Being an exceptional representative of his species while literally letting fucking anyone onto the bridge of his ship

He’s the type to repeatedly dismiss a notification about required password trainings every single day for months on end

Una sees it once and is like umm you know they fire people for not doing those, right?

But he knows about Discovery, what are they gonna do? Let him just leave?

So no, he never even gets reprimanded

No wonder he and Section 31 hate each other. They know this guy is a complete security idiot. Meanwhile, Pike thinks making someone buzz in with their own badge is rude and a morally gray area

Too many spindle neurons, that one

[sycamorality]

favorite oc of yours? :3

i was gonna say all of them/i can't choose but No ..... this is my blorbo ever. this is eclipse. though i forgot to draw their wings for this one... they're one of my dearest ocs and i swear they're a rain world oc i've just never gotten around to draw them like ... pre-selfmods... i do have pre-the horrors however

this is my beloved i love them dearly ^ they were originally a ferven, a species created by the ancients to act as companion animals [think rain world's edition of cats, lol]. i might get in to making a ref of their species later because they are by no means a regular ferven. they were created by three clouds, lost skies - a prolific and artistic bioengineer.

while they can't exactly speak, they are sapient [unlike. other fervens. but fervens are in general very intelligent] and know how to express themself and communicate with clouds.

umm shit happens wrong place wrong time. they watch clouds get Murdered. absolutely fucking murdered. and its by Mr High Ranking Bioengineer Guy That Has No Morals Whose Name I Shall Not Speak [you can find him on my toyhouse or whatever lmao]. so That Guy sees the perfect opportunity to see if it's possible, just for science really, to turn a creature into an ancient.

he knows how very illegal and immoral this is. he does it anyway. The Horrors[tm] ensue for eclipse and they are NOT taking it well and i actually have this written but i'm not sure if i should share it ... just imagine being so very confused and panicked and nothing you do is familiar so you try to scream but that isn't your voice and this isn't your body what happened- and then it cuts black.

anyway. skipping forward a bit. they get used to it ... sorta. but there's still a lot of body dysmorhpia. That Guy doesn't know eclipse remembers their origins [he's just chalking their weird behaviour up to, well. what they used to be], but he does keep them very... isolated, to say. they don't know a lot of people. near the mass ascension though, he tries to force them in a vat of void fluid and wouldn't you like to know who gets his ass absolutely fucking echoed.

eclipse feles very guilty about this and feels like they weren't justified At All just because of how much vigil manipulated them and their mindset throughout the entire time, so they take off to the surface and just run. they don't know where they're going but they're running. they can't fly, they just lost one of their wings to the void fluid burns coming from the void fluid splashing out and hitting them. the adrenaline rush is whats keeping them from feeling that pain.

so! that just happened! they basically just murdered a man! okay! i don't know about you but when they realized the fuck they just did while the pain also hits them. yeahhhhh that's not ending up very well.

either way, time passes, they make friends with an iterator and said iterator helps them with genemods. eclipse, alike their creator, is also a very prolific bioengineer and knows what they're doing. a lot of the genemods are ones they made themself, while some are made with the help of the iterator - seven songs ablaze.

eventually though, a bunch of time after the mass ascension they find the global line's back up. and boy are they in for a ride

[ap0stle]

WIP questionnaire tag game

THANK U FOR THE TAG @astramachina

umm the wip in question is TMNTDT aka Tell Me Not to Do This aka teenage mutant ninja turtle...dookie time

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

oough that was back in like... 2016? 2014? and i started with the first chapter right away which ended up being the fourth chapter and then became Nothing At All because i have wrecked this thang beyond recognition <3

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

definitely Burn a Church by Coma Cinema bc it's been in my mock-soundtrack playlist for years and fits the vibes really well :3 the playlist in question is kind of a mess and old as hell but i'll link that too just in case ^_^

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

curtis definitely, i think i get caught up on the details of everyone but he is the most wholly developed and also umm. very similar to me so i love him dearly. he is the worst.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

if you like weird indie movies about young mentally unwell people that may or may not be queer and/or on da spectrum... you will enjoy my garbage and such movies as I Am Not a Serial Killer, As You Are, Super Dark Times, etc. ALSO magnus archives fans maybe bc of the whole Mold Cult thing that is still under development

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

settling on a format was and is still my number one struggle lol. i have switched between a book, comic, videogame, screenplay, website... i have like 50000 drafts scattered across different websites and applications and if this thing ever comes to life i think i will actually fucking ascend

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

ssssssssssort of. there are a lot of dead animals. and fungi. and mold. there have been some minor pet ideas thrown around for the more. Safe Environment characters but for the time being no actual lovable creatures :/ maybe eventually!

How do your characters travel/get around?

Juno's car because mr. dumbass dumped his murder truck into a river ^_^

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

....yes. in all seriousness i have so many different versions in different POVs and tenses it's a toss up as to what i work on and if it will even make it to the next round of editing LOL

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

its not quite explicitly queer (in the latest version) but heavily HEAVILY implied and i feel like the stories that are sort of ambiguous about their queerness tend to draw more people in ?? or they're more popular anyway LOL. so trope: queerbaiting ????

deeply unwell man who has not slept properly in 600 years. the ladies love that shit

^ unreliable narrator ?

religious horror sort of?

bury your gays except. is he actually dead?? .....

What are your hopes for your WIP?

to settle on a fucking medium LMAO. i cannot for the life of me stick to one, or a point of view, OR a tense so um . makin a goddamn decision would probbaly make the writing process like 600 times easier

tagging UM. shaking my brain for writer mutuals ik ive tagged yall before but i cannot think rn so @hammity-hammer @aether-friskets @xxdrowninglessonsxx @deviantartidentitydisorder

anyway if anyone else wants do this just pretend u have been personally tagged ily THANK U AGAIN MITCH ♡♡♡

[dobnny]

alright you little shit here is everything i know

mutual

27

american (???)

obsession with carrots

knows how to commit to the bit

clever enough to juggle multiple accounts and not accidentally post from the wrong one

unhinged enough to write dobby as a sexual creature

NOT hagrid's conception story anon (apparently)

my suspect list is growing.... watch your back

My first prompt?!?!

Harry was pacing, in front of his desk, he wanted to laugh but this was no laughing matter. He should’ve known when things had started to change. It all began with that bloody help wanted ad that he posted up a few weeks ago on the Daily Prophet. 

“In need of a House-Elf, will pay and treat with utmost respect and dignity and paid days off along with an hour lunch breaks. Plus, extended paid vacation leave.” Truthfully, all of that was Hermione’s idea. A fellow mutual from the department, who was also dating his best mate. She made him pay for three entire pages on the prophet, or else she would tell Ginny that he had gone with Ron to a Quidditch match without her. To be fair, it was a guys' night, so no matter how much he loves GInny, he wasn’t going to let Ron go alone to the game….he just couldn’t.

Anyways, that's besides the point. Now let's get back to the problem at hand. Or shall he say the problem at… carrot? 

Yeah.

There was a plethora of carrots, scattered around the crime scene. Ranging from tiny and stumpy ones, to carrots that had a bit of a defective look. It was strange, but it wasn’t the craziest thing he’s ever seen during his time in MACUSA. Nope, he has seen some weird shit before, but this….this was just odd and nearing obsession. 

“Who in the bloody fuck, orders so many carrots from the market?” Harry wondered, as he ran his hands through his unruly hair. Shit. Why couldn’t he have seen this coming? The friendship that the house-elf who he used to call a friend….Dobby, had become a serial carrot stealer.

Never in his twenty-seven years did he think that Dobby would be capable of something so heinous. Now that he had the proof, he would talk directly to Robards and get a warrant for Dobby’s arrest. 

Yes, and then all of this nonsense would be over-

”Harry, is everything alright? You sent me an urgent memo,” a voice called out from behind him, causing him to jump a few feet in the air.

“Merlin, Ginny don’t do that you scared the crap out of me.” Harry said as he clutched at his chest. “Yes. I got the proof that Dobby has been the one stealing all the carrots in town.”

“Umm, ok..what do you want me to do about that?” Ginny asked confused.

Silence filled the room for a moment before Harry noticed Ginny’s eyes widen, and quickly she was shaking her head.

“whatever you are thinking get it out of your head Harry. I will not do it!”

“Please, Gin…we need this to finally put Dobby in Azkaban. Think about all the families who are having to cut back on stews and carrot cake all because Dobby stole the carrots from the market.”

“Harry-”

“Ginny, please. I can’t do this without you.” Harry pleaded, this was their only chance to bring down the house-elf.

“Fine.”

“Great! You also have to figure out what the conspiracy about Hagrid’s conception-

“I’m sorry. Hagrid’s what!”

[spoiledlbleach]

About Q!BBH not being able to die, what about what happened to Q!Rubius? BBH uses a mixed mythology, in some Mythology gods can be killed such as Norse (i.e. Baldur) he could theoretically be killable in his current form or his current form itself may be killable. I mean other players were able to kill him in purgatory albeit not permanently. Other powerful beings such Cucurucho, Lil J and Lil S have creative mode while Q!BBH doesn't.

so if you're curious I'm answering an ask which touches upon my theory on q!bbh's immortality

the continuation is under the cut

so yeah i havent thought a lot abt my theory so it doesnt make some sense so i thought id spit out some thoughts i had while writing thatthe original post

q!bbh has lived longer than possible for any human, a few millenia. usually in media it means that the long living creature is immortal. yet we have qbbh's limbo which means he can die (wanna point out that the wording in the original post wasn't great but what i meant by "bbh cant die" is that hes not allowed to, not unable; read more in the last paragraph but shortly speaking: power imbalance). and this leaves us with other variants of limited immortality, or immortality on conditions like dependent on will (the creature can die if it gives up on living), prophesy or some other stuff

i think in q!bbh's case he can live forever or die if he puts his mind to it. and his immortality doesnt mean constant regen or inability to be hurt at all or something like this, he is vulnerable to illnesses and hurt from physical world and to live on he has to endure it because he can and his physical form can handle it

and actually i dont think its fair to include purgatory in this cuz at that time period everyone was killable and immortal in some sort. deaths didnt count so i dont think we gain something from that kill system in terms of lore (and lore can be anything that is meaningful to the story)

and i think creative mode is a great sign for absolute immortality. cucurucho doesnt die at all. and in terms of q!rubius i can link him being a mortal now with christianity??? umm lemme explain. so. jesus was a son of god right. and he was human (sorta?) and was killable (also sorta?). and considering that theres Lil J who may be jesus???? or not i think as a god he can canonically (bible lore wise) turn into human? yeah this was a great train of thought amirite

and i also dont think bbh is a god. hes a grim reaper and dapper is a grim reaper in training, which either mean grim reaper is a title and can be given to the worty by the previous grim reaper or q!bbh can be joking and just being cute w his kid like "omggg look dapper is a grim reaper in training" and being gr in training is impossible yk

so grim reaper is a powerful being which doesnt mean they must be immortal at all times. and yet grim reaper dissappearing from the world full of mortals who die constantly (in terms of.. yk millenia) is going to change the balance of the universe and the disappearance of lil j and lil s wont (bc evil and good is gonna exist anyway, they are not embodiments of these concepts respectively; and also these dudes were acting like some type of sponsors and mentors at the same time and after their disappearance nothing happened and none of the residents was sent to the purgatory because they were called sinners right? did i just fucking think of another theory)

so yeah. q!bbh

[stellerssong]

Swan I promise I'll get caught up on your fanwork soon. Soon as I actually watch these overdue DVDs of The Watchman😉. In the meantime consider this an invitation to do a director's commentary from back when Will Graham was a bird?

please enjoy your viewing of the watchman! don't quote me on this, but i hear he (the eponymous watchman) was in a comic book once...really make u thimk.

oh god okay umm...how do i put this politely for the good people in the audience who have not been following me since 2013. so. ok. so i've long maintained that turning a character into a bird monster is one of the truest forms of love i am capable of expressing. "but swan!" you say, shocked and horrified, "surely you mean turning a character into a WEREWOLF is one of the truest forms of love you are capable of expressing! you have a whole thing about werewolves! it's an expanded universe with hinted crossovers! there's internal logic and now a magic system! you have spilled literally thousands of words that are No Plot Just Describing Midcycle Werewolves and you KEEP THREATENING TO DO THAT MORE." and like. you're not wrong strictly speaking. and i do inflict that aggressively upon my favorite characters. but there is something particularly monstery about the bird monster that a werewolf just doesn't get at.

it's the uncanny valley of it all, you dig? a werewolf is, when you get down to it, a wolf whose instincts are fettered to a human perception of the world—hence, functionally, a dog. a very large, gross, dangerous, infectious dog, in some cases—a dog with hands and fucked-up people teeth, frequently—but it's fundamentally the emotional tension of the dog that i'm working with here, right? the sit and stay and will i get a pat or a kick of things, the what is a pack and what are they owed of it, the animal caught in a little box with the human and the realization of how little space there is between those two things. which is all lovely delicious good food for me, personally, and of course i am capable of making something tangibly offputting out of those compelling pieces.

but the bird monster is a different game. that's a different part of the uncanny valley, and i hesitate to call it a more physical part, but the physicality IS part of it. a bird has warm blood, like you or like me (with apologies to any reptiles, amphibians, ectothermic fish, etc. reading this). it breathes air. it's often social and intelligent. it has a voice—more importantly, it makes music. we connect with these qualities, as fellow warm-blooded social tetrapods. we think, oh, this is a familiar creature, this is a creature i can easily empathize with (again, apologies to those reading this who, like me, are thrown into a tearful cute-aggression frenzy over the japanese giant salamander).

but a bird feels different from a human in a way that a dog doesn't. it's got feathers. it's got hollow bones. it's got an expressionless face and eyes that don't convey the same warmth as a dog's or a wolf's or even a cat's. there are tame birds and domesticated birds, yes, but in general there's not the same cultural sense of the bird as companion animal that smooths the way (or burdens) the dog or the wolf-as-dog.

and it flies. that's fuckin' different.

so it's a different tension there. where the werewolf's sense of alienation stems from the uneasy knowledge that there's gray area between wolf and dog and human, the bird monster's deal is a more classic disjoint. a human is not like a bird. these two things are (or feel) more diametrically opposed. and yet in the bird monster they exist within a single body anyway. the human in you is content to travel in two dimensions. the bird in you understands that there's a whole lot more world if you just look up. the human in you needs the solidity of earth underfoot and the comforting anchor of gravity. the bird in you knows those things for chains and cages in disguise. the human in you tastes blood and grimaces, gags, spits and screams and weeps. the bird in you swallows, expressionless, and sings.

ok so then imagine if it was will graham,,,

[greatkittydream]

The creature from the dungeon 3

“Thinking” ‘talking’ (righters input)

Jacob POV

walking down the halls of the dungeon aimlessly really. Jacob had apparently adopted a child along the way. lamenting his oh so tragic fate, as he had this small child rest her head upon his shoulder as he kept walking. he really did feel bad for her though.no child should have to go through what she did. So if it been playing Big Brother for a little bit and keeping her off her feet he was fine with that.

"Okay I'm obviously in some sort of fantasy world and I'm going to take a guess and say magic is a rare but still occurring characteristic. you know what it's fine magic is just science you haven't studied yet”.

Running several thought processes through his head. being chopped up into three main categories. limitations, exploitations, and usefulness.

These look categories he's going to place as things he's found under. Magic curling under limitations, unable to figure out if it's a common occurrence or not and what are its limitations.

Sniffling Sniffling

Looking back over Jacob could see the small child choking back sobs. pulling out his phone and seeing that I had 86% battery he made his decision.

“well it's not like it was going to be much use to me anyways”

pulling up his illegally downloaded music list because he refused to pay $50 for some bullshit app. He had a wide variety of Music ranging from anime openings to old songs. ‘The best way to deal with trauma is to ignore it. So how about music to cheer us up ay’.

As he selected this song he wanted to play and set it down he said it to play.

'Bling-Bang-Bang, Bling-Bang-Bang, Bling-Bang-Bang-Born...Bling-Bang-Bang, Bling-Bang-Bang, Bling-Bang-Bang-Born...Bling-Bang-Bang, Bling-Bang-Bang, Bling-Bang-Bang-Born'

singing with the cheery upbeat music of Creepy Nuts - Bling-Bang-Bang-Born doing the shimmy dance he actually got the child to laugh. Seeing as this was working he walked over her and got her to join him in dancing. ( Highly recommended )

'Come on kid we got to make it out of where the hell this is. There's obviously no form of policing here and I don't really feel comfortable leaving a small child alone'.

Bending down on his knees showing her his back and resting his arms at his side she tilted her head before hopping on his back and saying.

‘ou'reyay ayay eallyray eirdway umanhay utbay ou'reyay ayay unfay umanhay, aybemay ou'reyay omfray ymay amiliarfay?’.

‘I have no idea what you just said but yes, now the child to glory and onwards Adventure awaits’.

Jacob cringed on the inside. while he was absolutely silly and this was more towards his true personality than stoicism. He was still putting on an extra layer of glamorousness to distract the child from what just happened.

Marching forward he saw a door labeled 198. Taking a moment to take this and what he saw earlier with the other plaque. He's figured out that he's in some sort of facility with different layers. He just needs to make his way towards the top and this fills them with hope.

“Okay umm… you know what fuck it I'm in a magical isekai. I have no fucking clue what any of this means and I'm tired of pretending like I do. So I'll just go along with this assuming I'm underground or some shit in a dungeon and make my way towards the top and then figure all this out once I have more information available. Cuz God damn it I need data points to figure this out".

Pushing through the door again he felt even better almost as if something long forgotten to him was finally being returned. quickly looking down to make sure his body hadn't lost any more of its already dwindling fat Supply.

he was relieved to see it hadn't. what he couldn't tell at the moment though was something around him became bigger or of sorts what was previously the size of his body had grown out by a solid half foot.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Aafje pov

Aafje was currently riding on her familiar back. and she couldn't be more happy about it. At first she was afraid given it was a human.

but the more she thought about it the more it made sense to her she came from a strong Noble family so of course she'd have a strong familiar. A beast who would arrive and your most dire need. that what a familiar is.

And he was fun too. He made that black sing and he dance with her. it reminded her of before her mama and papa died and big sis to go to the dungeon all on her own.

“But now that I have my own familiar I can finally join big sis and help out”.

Clearing her throat and pointing she'll make her deck relation today.

‘Forward my mighty familiar. together we'll go save big sis and make up so much money she'll never have to go here again’.

What neither of them noticed was a strange yellow glow coming from the four bags held within Jacob's grass.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Vect POV

‘Tell me Cyrus what's the current situation’.

‘Which situation my Lord’?

‘How the master strip of the great Canal is doing. Maybe we could go out for some tea with her sometime. what situation do you think I'm talking about idiots when as little as going to return with our Leverage’.

‘Well they appear to be making their way towards the upper floors’.

‘Perfect let's start heading down to meet them’.

‘What about the prisoners my Lord’.

‘Have them walk in front of us any monsters that want to get through us have to eat them first’.

Putting one leg over the other and resting his head on his arm as he took a sip of wine out of a golden-crusted goblet. He was currently thinking over his current situation and what he could do. while not the most competent you don't become first in line for nobility in the dark lands without being cunning.

Especially with so many younger siblings after your head. standing up in his luxurious tent in making his way towards the exit he looked over toward the prisoners who were being kept. Bound by metal chains keeping their arms tied to their waist.

Well not as clean as he would have liked it he obviously underestimated these people. Not that he would ever tell anyone and he needed his leverage if he was going to make it through this with a profit.

The losses he's incurred already to manpower would not help them in the long run. He could substitute them with mercenaries but they are most definitely of lesser quality.

Maybe getting these four into a slave contract would substitute that nicely adding four experience dungeon delvers in exchange for two noble guard.

"And that very small child would make a fine concubine, with the noble blood running through her veins. Me marrying her and enslaving her older sister would Grant any titles and territory into my family's name".

"And my back pocket, Yes I can see it now I can definitely use this to get a leg over my kin insecure my title as air to the heir of the gore child clan".

A decrepit smile came on his face will definitely very early on into the scheming phase of things having this good base and operations already.

This would lend greatly to his Political and Military power. while not giving him a peasantry that he would know of this would give him influence in the city and the surrounding country.

Walking up to the four prisoners he made his will known.

‘Get up before we're going to meet up with your sister’.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jacob POV

Rummaging through the bags he took earlier for anything edible he found dried meat. shrugging and biting into it he began to tear at it. The little girl on his back made a shock noise in the beginning spouting out something.

figuring he was hungry he just handed her one. He watched that she tried to bite into it but her teeth couldn't sink deep into it. Looking into the back in front of her she pulled out a knife and began cutting a piece off. sticking it into her mouth and began sucking on it.

With a shrug he figured she just must have had a weak jaw if the stereotypes are true else were herbivores meaning that they won't need that strong of a bite force.

Then again horses did exist and they could bite the flesh off of a human pretty good. so he was maybe talking out his ass.

‘Come on we need to put as much ground between us and those freaks as possible’.

Pushing forward he kept walking. He doesn't know how long he's been moving but he knows it's been a while. He certainly knows the kid on his back is tired she's been making the droopy eyes for a while now.

Coming to what would be an exit of a mineshaft simply read the plaque 197.

“Man, I'm making great progress. I'll probably just starve before I get to room 150”.

Walking up to the door it had a very similar look to that of exiting the Vault from Fallout 3. Taking in a deep breath in opening the door, what good at Jacob was a bright flash of light.

Upon adjusting his eyes he saw an island of paradise, several sand dunes with the few trees here and there with dozens of feet of water across.

In an infinite ocean surrounding that across from him maybe a football field or two across was an hut.

‘If that Isn't the exit he was fucked, well it could be worse’.

Before he could start his treck across the shallow Waters he saw Shadows surrounding the islands finally.

‘Oh cool it gets worse fucking sharks thanks you Murphy's Law Why don't you go all the way and fuck me over a table why don't you’.

That's when he saw a mammoth of a shadow swimming at great speeds towards the shallow Banks. assuming it was some type of megalodon or some shit.

Going to beach itself to try and eat him he began to jump back through the door. only for a massive tentacle to latch on to the Shadow and raise it high above the air.

The “shark” wasn't a shark at all it was more like a mosasaurs. It was a giant lizard reptile the size of a blue whale. and it was being lifted High into the sky completely wrapped around by a tentacle.

‘FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU MURPHY’. ‘Fuck this shit I'm out mhm Fuck this shit I'm out No thanks Don't mind me I'ma just grab my stuff and leave Excuse me please’.

Turning around, walking back through the door and Slamming it shut he sat the child down and started rummaging through the bags. pulling out a sleeping bag and a small tent he set it up.

The child for her part was spouting nonsense and honestly he didn't care to think of what she was saying at the moment.

'ywhay areyay eway urningtay aroundyay ? ouyay otallytay ouldcay avehay akentay atthay ingthay . ohyay iyay etgay ityay ouyay antway otay ebay atyay ouryay ayay amegay eforebay ouyay ightfay ethay ightymay akenkray'.

Having set up the camping grounds he laid the child in a sleeping bag next to him and laid on his own. closing his eyes and thinking of sweet thoughts he went to sleep.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Raxs POV

“I can't believe I let this happen I let my future sister-in-law get kidnapped I made myself look like an idiot in front of my crush and now I'm being forced to tank a punch for this bastard”

True to what was said earlier the party had taken up the front of the position with racks on his part without his Shield, only his body to take the damage.

While on the lower levels this would be fine the more they went down the harder this would get.

Lionheart spoke up before Rex could Lament his fate more.

‘more marionettes coming up’

Looking up ahead he saw the marionettes in question. They were currently on floor 157 nicknamed the toy box. A room that looks like that of a circus with all sorts of man-sized children's toys.

The marionettes look like porcelain dolls that had strings controlling them. which they could use to attack opponents. Running at speeds that would outpace a horse and closing in fast they perform acrobatics before attacking.

Raxs simply flexes his muscles and repairs to get hit. One of the marionettes jumps high above his head before using its string like a noose wrapping it around his throat

Before Landing behind him and trying to throw him face first into the flooring. Instead of being launched High into the air and then thrown down he didn't move a muscle.

He grabbed the string around his throat and pulled hard the marionette was flung at him after as if weightless. Stretching out his arm he clotheslines it so hard it's face shatters.

As it begins cracking it turns into a pure mana of before dropping its item. I wind up a box that could drop a number of items the better luck you had the better the item.

Looking over to his compatriot, Lionheart for his part had already killed three. The fourth one is currently caught between his claws at the end of his legs it's three on the top and one on the bottom. each one about a half a foot in length.

Its hands were currently smashing against his ankle with his height squeeze the head went pop. Setting his foot back to the floor looking at the soon to spawn boss.

A giant Jack in the Box start to whine by itself getting faster and faster until out popped a giant skeletal figure a sunken in face half of it covered by rotten flesh. After it's shriek magical debuffs were set upon us along with its owning some more marionettes and smaller Jack in the Box monsters.

“This is going to be a long day”.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jacob POV

Jacob woke up staring at the ceiling. It was so surreal in that moment he wasn't thinking so much as he was just breathing and letting his mind rest. Running his fingers through the child's hair in smooth patterns to help calm himself.

He had been thinking about it for hours. The likelihood of the Kraken actually trying to eat him or the child was unlikely given how little nutrients they would give.

"Those megalodons? mosasauruses? whatever you want to call them probably would go for a bite though".

Bring his free hand down to his mouth and biting on his thumb moving his jaw left to right thinking of his next move.

The child currently laying on his chest let out a small yawn and a big stretch. looking down and seeing the child look at him he sat up with her falling onto his lap.

She hopped off his lap and headed outside. standing quickly to his feet making sure she wasn't heading to the door he found her heading down a hallway.

Seeing no problem with this he decided to follow her. He wasn't going to let her go out by herself with those freaks still somewhere around.

After letting her explore a little they came across a giant door made with marble with intricate designs. When she got close enough the door opened up on its own revealing a chest inside of a spacious room.

‘Nope this is a bathroom if I've ever seen it, Come on we're not going in there’.

Looking to a side noticing she was gone immediately, went forward before looking up and seeing the child already in the room.

BWAAAAAAH BWAAAAAAH BWAAAAAAH

A trumpet went off three times hearing a grading struggling noise. The door behind us was closing fast. the child had stopped in her tracks at the sight of a Angelic figure descending made its presence known.

‘Fuck this Dark Souls bullshit’.

Grabbing the child by the back of her shirt and pulling rather hard rushed forward towards the door going at a speed humans had yet to achieve in his world. By the time he got there it was almost closed. Barely 6 in before closing in total.

SLAM

Jacob had slammed his arm in the door before it could fully close. it hurt like a bitch he felt like his arm was breaking. looking behind me saw the Angelic figure unravel its wings as it touched the floor.

Thinking Fast shoving is another hand in the door dropping the child and wrenching it open as fast as he could, putting his two feet against the doors well and using his entire body. He managed to push it open just enough for the child to crawl through.

looking back up he saw the lady angel brandishing her sword and getting ready what looked like a dash. curling his legs up and launching himself through the door with his one good arm it shut behind him.

‘HAHAHA fuck you off brand Elden ring Melina’.

BAM BAM BAM

"The door is cracking the bitch is trying to break through".

'time to nut up or shut up'.

Looking to his left seeing the child on her butt with a big smile on her face looking at him as if expecting something. Grabbing the child and putting her under his arm and start booking it towards the

By the time the two got to the end of the hallway the door blasted open marble and dust scattered all over the place in a hunting Angelic voice the angel was singing as it was following them. “Does this bitch have echolocation no way that thing is sentience and singing just isn't something things do for no reason”.

His arm was burning, his lungs fell out of breath, he was pushing himself harder than he ever had before in his life. not during a schoolyard fight. Not when placed in a boy's home. had he ever pushed himself this hard before he felt like he was going to break.

He saw the exit but the singing was getting closer if he had a guess a good 50 ft between them. He began his Sprint to say he wasn't sprinting before would be a lie. What this was was an adrenaline endorphin-filled Last Hope.

Faster he went he didn't even notice that the wind was fluttering around him at such a pace it would be comparable to that of a car. He was just moving.

Closer and closer he got to the door until he was there but the saying was just behind him reading his legs for spring action he launched forward slamming his forearm against the door.

He launched through the door flying through the sky as the wooden door was broken off and landed in the sand dune with a child safely in his arm.

Hearing the angels singing not wanting to take the chance whether she could pass on to the next floor or not he just say it to run while he still had the endorphins and adrenaline. For he went when he reached the water he wasn't even thinking that the angel would have come through the door by now he was just thinking to get to the other exit. As he marched to the water slowing him down tremendously Shadows began circling around them. One of them stuck there had barely out the water similar to that of a crocodile taking a sniff. looking at the child in his arms and began swimming towards him. He was close to the next sandbank just a couple dozen more feet. The shadow was behind them hearing the tattle tail splashing of water he looked behind and saw the shadow just 10 ft behind. Throwing the child onto the sand bank and turning around as the monster left out of the water. He ducked going underneath the leap as he looked up and saw the monster stomach. He launched up, grabbing it. As he held it there he wasn't going to let it get back in the water. The months are thrashing trying to get out of his grasp but he was able to hold on to it.

slowly but steadily marching towards the sand Bank to where he could Beach the thing and then kill it. Marching up to the sand Bank in laying it down there on its stomach. it tried to use its paws to climb towards the water sitting down on its back. Jacob looked around for the closest weapon he could find. There was a kind of large Rock near a tree. Making a whistling noise to get the child's attention and gesturing towards the rock she picked up on it and brought it to him. Grabbing the rock with both hands and raising above his head he began to smash it down over and over and over again. until the things skull cracked completely open. What happened next caught Jacob off guard. It went poof shattering into tiny crystals that floated it back up into the air falling flat on his ass. He noticed something in front of him. Three of its teeth but not where its mouth was where its heart was.Jacob was done thinking for today he grabbed the three teeth shoved him in his pocket. and again walking toward.

‘You cost us a tint, two sleeping rolls and possibly gave me three heart attacks you are no longer allowed to wander’.

In one ear and out the other she couldn't even understand him.

‘You're lucky I'm a good person and you're adorable’. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

so that's chapter 3 a bit shorter than I wanted but I wanted to get it out sometime this week

again if you have any tips for writing or any ideas you think would be cool be sure to message me.

[felix-the-lemon-king]

Omg duo bingo for YOU!!! Lilia and each of his three beloved dorm sons,, that’s already three duos LOL but also. Malleus and silver.. and UMM let’s throw Kalim and ruggie duo in here just to mix it up LOL

Oh dear. Oh god. Well lets get started BDHJSKSHDJDHJSJSBDJJDJ

HELL YEA FOREVER I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are the father and son duo forever to me. I don't know what it is about it but I have NEVER been all that interested in parent & child dynamics in different shows and stuff? Maybe because it tends to fall very quickly into strict tropes that the characters predictably follow without breaking out of them much 🤔 like even with spyxfamily there are long portions of the fanily dynamic specific stuff that I just find myself getting tired and looking away from. I am always just waiting for content on Everyone Having To Hide Their True Identity From Each Other LOL that stuff makes it super fun and enjoyable to follow even with the bits I'm not very into 😌 but with Lilia and Silver omg has anyone ever done it like them???? What is going on. I love them. Has there ever been a teenage son who not only loves their dad So Much but will talk at length, a little obsessively, about how cool he is and all the adventures he has gone on and how proud he is to be his son and So On And So Forth. Like he talks about Lilia SO OFTEN everyone on campus has heard about Silver's cool dad at this point. And Lilia himself is such a weird creature, you cannot throw him into any trope and expect him to behave and follow it in a predictable way. Do I even have to explain myself. Look at him. And I have not even MENTIONED the stuff we're getting into in book 7 like spoilers start now I have ALWAYS thought that Lilia seems weirdly reserved about his affection for Silver compared to how Silver shows his affection and I am VINDICATED that it is being thoroughly addressed. Silver LOVES HIS DAD SO MUCH his heart is full of love and he is STUFFED WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!! Halloween part 2 haunts me forever and the fairy gala if event and all of silver's vignettes and his voice lines and the MELTDOWN he has first realizing that he could one day never see his father again and then realizing that he's the son of his father's enemy and his father must have had such a hard time looking at him the same way he looks back I'm so I'm so Im leave me be leave me to my trenches I cannot handle it silver is so full of love. And yet Lilia has thought for so long thay he is incapable of love. Oh my DAYS. I am waiting with the biggest eyes ever for more unraveling of Lilia's psyche in the next update. I could keep going forever and ever but YOU GET IT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I am SCARED malmal you're SCARING ME!!!!!!!!!!! Silver is full of the most love forever for Lilia and yet it would appear IN COMES MALLEUS WITH A STEEL CHAIR. Malleus is also full of love and he is NOT taking it well. I'm so excited to see his mind unravel as well 👀

Something absurd is always happening between these two, they're so silly 😌 love that Sebek literally has his own parents and they are nice parents and they love each other and they love him and it is a very nice situation to be in but alas. Sebek has decided to fuck off into the woods and become parented by Lilia instead LOL I've read several fics now where he is super jealous that Silver gets to have coolest guy alive Lilia to be his dad and I think that's a funny dynamic 😌 also Lilia gaslighting Sebek into making horrible decisions is RIDICULOUS every single time and it is the reason why I have only circled They Can Make Each Other Worse bxbsjsnsnsbjsBDHDBJSJSB

I have not skipped anyone from the order that you gave me the duos, what are you talking about. Anyway. THESE TWO ARE FUN!!!!!!!! Kalim is so excited to give gifts and food and money and Ruggie is so down to receive gifts and food and money but ALAS Ruggie cannot stand his good boy behavior 😔 the sugar daddy and sugar baby dynamic was inches away LOL I just think they are goofy 😌 I could also see Ruggie taking it into his own hands to make Kalim see the world for what it is & the POTENTIAL for a very tiana & prince naveen dynamic. I loved the princess and the frog a lot and their dynamic was my favorite part of it so I would like that for kalim and ruggie a bunch 😌

Ummmmmmmm........... I am so sorry for this. Avert your eyes 🙈

SO...... Saved this one for last because As You Can See I Am Swinging The Bat At The Wasp Nest. I actually have an absurd amount of ships in twisted wonderland and I think most of the ones I REALLY like are pretty unsavory ones 🙈 I'm selective about the people I talk to about what ships because I get it!!!!!!!!! Some ships are not for everyone and that's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just like it when horrible things happen!!!!! I've seen a lot of hate for it mostly because people see them as siblings and I get that!!!! I enjoy that interpretation as well sometimes!!!!!!!!! But that is not the only way that people can interpret their dynamic and I have also chosen other ways to interpret it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not sure if that aspect alone makes it much worse from how I interpret them actually xbbdjdjndbxbxjekndbx this ship is one that I just could not go up on stand for and say that I do not ship. I am unfortunately deranged about it 😔 I have been chin deep in this swamp since before the beginning. I have been in the wattpad circles for maleficent/aurora since I knew what a fanfic was. This was never going to go any other way and I have no defenses for myself. I can just show you images of them and say I am an enjoyer TO A FAULT. They gave me a sweet innocent character with white hair and a bright theme and a heart full of love and then they gave me a mysterious and dastardly character with black hair and a dark theme and a heart full of evil and I just don't know I had to take the shot I have been in the trenches from the start 😔 their showdown where Silver begged Malleus to come to his senses and Malleus said he would not give even Silver mercy if he kept defying him was very thrilling and I am excited to see more of the tension between them that's all also I like that they have coffee in the morning together that's all that's everything I have to say I'm getting off the stand now

[brothersonahotelbed]

NICO NICO OH MY GOF HI HI I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH im so sorry i just went and disappeared on you like that. went through a really bad time and got sick of my blog (which i honestly have been for a good while) and just decided to wipe everything and be alone for a little. it's so good you should try suddenly disappearing into a fog sometimes I'll just want for you to come back when you've cleared your mind. sorry i miss you a lot and it's so nice to get to talk to you again :). oh here's some poetry from a book i've acquired through ah id say dubious means and ive bookmarked some that reminded me of you and your sea thing. im gonna go through and find some more for you. anyway PLEASE catch me up on things how's everything have you been writing show me show me how are your little silly creatures any new stuff youre insane about any cool things you wanna show me tell me everything man IVE MISSED YOU MWUAHMWUAHMUWHA

enyway these are the poems 👍. ly man

ZEDFER OH MY GOD HI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO I MISSED YOU SM!!!!!!!!!!

okay first before anything please please PLEASE don't be sorry for disappearing and retreating into the shadows for a bit. i mean it. you're braver than all of us for knowing when to take a break and even having the guts to deactivate for the betterment of your mental health especially with your posts blowing up and people being annoying and going through shit with your mental health and everything, i'm proud of you for taking that step & happy you did it!!! of course i was worried but i'm glad you're here and i'm glad you were able to do that to help scrape the grime and dirt off <3 seriously. :)

umm how things are going!!! idk nothing much has changed since you've been gone tbh? i just found out my coworkers at the library and i are getting a pay increase because the county loves us soooooooooo much and bc we've been working so hard, so that's cool!! i also finished writing a good omens fic that turned out to be 15 pages long (rip) and it was the first piece of non-poetry writing that i've attempted AND FINISHED in over a year. ACK!!!! im v proud of it :]

ALSO a little bit of tragic news our favorite girl (guitar) vendetta, my beautiful lovely woman, is like. on the fritz for some reason? her channel switch is fizzling out and she's have connection issues with the amp and it's really sad. but!! since my birthday is next month (the 17th), i talked to my parents and they agreed that for my bday present they would help me pay for a NEW GUITAR????. THIS IS THE ONE I HAD MY EYE ON

HE IS SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL I GET HARD WHENEVER I LOOK AT HIM ohhhhmy god

last thing, i watched juno 2007 (Finally!) during your absence AND IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO WATCH IT. elliot page and his little egg self :') idk it made me tear up a little i loved it so much. <3

my cats are as beastly as ever of course. here are some pictures:

anyway. JUNO THOSE POEMS. LIKE ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW I AM LOSING IT OVER THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF ME :'))I NEED TO TATTOO THEM ON MY HEART FOREVER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AAGH. THANK YOU FOR SENDING THEM TO ME<3

we all missed you so much man it hasn't been the same without you here. i love you so much zed so so so much <3333

[burning-sol-but-ocs]

Thinking about the night Alexa died. Cw for erm like suicide because fucking yeah.

The details are honestly kind of sad. I'm not sure exactly what was the thing that spurred on Alexa that night, but she was like "yeah, I kind of don't wanna exist anymore" so she wandered off into the woods with like. A rope. As you do. She was trying to find umm the ideal spot to do the deed, and she basically found it but didn't want to be "in it" when it happened. So she'd brought some drugs with her and threw that bottle back.

So anyways, so there's this sewer pipe, and she's sitting there waiting for the medication to kick in. But she goes to stand and she the whole world is spinning so hard she falls over and hits the back of her head and fucking dies. Except then she doesn't really die and she's awake completely drenched in sweat because she's been shaking violently for she doesn't know how long. Alexa sits up and she keeps feeling the back of her head because it's covered in dried blood but she's fine. She's fine.

Alexa had messaged her boss to say she wasn't going to go to work but it's the middle of the night and she gets there and her boss and her aren't like. Friends. But they still ask if she's okay and are worried wondering if Alexa needs medical attention, but Alexa isn't even saying anything. She goes home and she curls up in her cat bed staring into space. And she falls asleep. And she wakes up. And she spends the next days. Weeks. Quiet. Going through the motions. Trying to process what happened.

Eventually she like. Remembers. And she comes back to the spot. She picks up the pill bottle and throws it as hard as she can on the fucking ground because FUCK her shitty life.. And then she meets COMPILE formally for the first time. She only had this hazy sense of who this thing that saved her life was, but then they actually got to see each other face to face.

Their relationship starts kind of rocky because Alexa doesn't understand why it saved her life. And she can't accept that it doesn't really have an explanation for it either, other than, it found Alexa.. Sad. And it didn't want her to die. But after they get over the whole "I should be dead thing" they start to connect a lot more and then it turns into a rlly intimate relationship at some point.

Fellas is it gay if the horrible bug creature resurrects u and you fall in love.

[justwannasin]

The wolf continued to fuck her, seemingly insatiable until a gun shot rang out. The wolf pulled out of Whitney, cum flooding out of her used pussy as it did, and the creature ran off into the woods. " What the-oh son of a fucking bitch!" The park ranger approached Whitney's dirty form. " Not again! Do you have-my god did you take on the whole pack?! That's never-you're a whore, arent you? Even for the werewolves, considering the circumstances, thats pretty fucking impressive!" The park ranger nudged the woman's form, turning her over onto her back. " You, young lady, just gave me an idea! A bitch for the pack would keep other idiots safe from getting knocked up too! You wont happen to have any plans for the next...several months, would you?"

whitney was too tired to think, too tired to move. she barely realized it wasn't another werewolf come up to her when the last went away, but a park ranger. she whimpered, a part of her mind wanting whitney to beg for help. to beg this man to get her out of here, that she couldn't--

but no words came. not verbally, anyway. "mm--umm..." was all the sounds that whitney made, her eyes blinking up at the man through the dawn's early light.

she was dirty; she was tired; she was aching. whitney was so full of werewolf cum that she doubted anything would erase the feel or the taste-- and she knew, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she was knocked up with at least one--if not many, many more.

"mm..."

[mistergoddess]

never should have smoked that shit now i am dead serious going to move to nyc if It All Works Out... fuck... this is going to be Thing I Am Scared About #1 for the foreseeable future. but it's good :) it's very scary and will be very challenging with my Issues surrounding moving and major life/environment change always being a big trigger for the autismdepressiontrauma megacombo but umm :'))

idk i'm not like particularly passionate about nyc itself which is definitely something people cite as something u need to Make It there but i think it's a cool and good place and end of the day it is just a place . and i like cities, about as much as i like countryside (and i hate cities about as much as i hate the country...) so it's like. the Most city ever (well in this country at least) isn't it. so that'll be interesting. but most importantly bruh idk i'm just. young and have never left my home town and am relatively untethered... no pets no career no partners no real friendgroup car's on its last legs anyway hell i really don't even have any major furniture i'm attached to and need or even find valuable (the one piece of furniture i do find valuable and am attached to is just way too fucking massive to ever work anywhere in ny period so... rip. at least selling that would help expenses, and literally everything else i own is trash) so like.

this is the time man. i cannot just spend my entire life in my hometown and i cannot spend my entire life in the south this is The Time to get out into the world and get some worldly experiences and like having a friend in Big Important Culturally Lush City who may have a roomie slot opening up, which can help me get my feet under me easier than if i just tried to do it solo, is an opportunity i'd regret turning down for the rest of my LIFE like this is it it is The Time Of My Life where i am Supposed To Do Things and Get Out There and here it is and i gotta do it and i want to do it and i CAN do it (and i can afford to do it!!!!! i have Toiled with a capital T for my savings and shit like this is exactly why) so i'm 100% gonna do it but omggg :'))))))))))) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......... i am but a lil ol southern boy... i am but a little fucking creature who does not know shit about shit...........

but the only way to ever change that is to Get The Fuck Out!!!!!! and big big city with literally anything you could imagine is such a good social and career prospect like. my city is truly very decently sized especially for the south we're one of the bigger/more major/noteworthy cities but also we're a pretty Crappy city compared to other big cities even in the south, like the social scenes and activities options here are a little meeehhhh and the career and economic opportunities here DEFINITELY mehhh so it'll be amazing to be somewhere with so MUCH where any culture or interest or subculture or hobby you can think of is represented and where any food or activity or manmade type of place to see you can think of is represented and where even a little fool like myself could find their way into some seriously cool work opportunities that could mean so much advancement in like skills and experiences and income...... and just like... god this is such a horrible term but literally networking!!! not in a BIG BUSINESS kinda way but just meeting interesting people who can help you and teach you and inform you and connect you to more interesting opportunities! wahh...

and i don't have to stay forever is the beautiful thing if it sucks i can hit da bricks and i think once i've made that initial breakaway to Leave Home like selling my car (genuinely even if i stayed here forever the car is on her way out so what better thing to do than move somewhere where car is not necessary... like if i stayed the car would fucking die anyway and then i'd be in the awful position of needing another one bc you can't not have one here so yeehaw selling her for moving/travel funds and being somewhere that's far less car dependent is the most auspicious move) and my furniture and putting my remaining possessions i can't bring with all at once in storage, then i'll be in a crazy good position to jump off from that point and go other places, maybe even the places i AM specifically personally passionate about and yearn for... so like... i'm GONNA do it...

but it's mad scary for real :) I Have Never Done This Before :)

[kofetalesnbpdchaos-leoreaper]

What Does Life Look Like?

Chapter 1: Griefs of a Borderliner; My Mother.

I wanted to start off my ‘What Does Life Look Like?’ series talking about something. In fact I had wanted to not write something but… anyways!! It’s here now!

So, here goes… *loud whisper* nothing….

I’m a BPDer. That means I live with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I wanted to.. dive in deeply. Deeply into the depths of.. how I have these grievances & umm.. what are more my own personal experiences; a creation of shadows depicting things for you .

*breathes*

As you all know, people don’t just wake up one day & decide to grab these things . Cuz if I did, that’s just so silly?? Like… who would….

Who would want to cry inside all the bloody times?!

Cry about all day long sometimes having episodes of depressive bullshits that could last from hours to days?

Have such highhh intense emotions, where in which it feels as though I am .. in this case: grieving. The Dead?

Not a whole assed person, who’s alive and well & all that shit! No no, ahahaha, you’d definitely be mistaken . Mistaken it for the Dead, NOT ever for the .. bloody Living?!?!

I've thinking a lot lately. About how it is like to grieve the Living vs the bloody Dead peoples. How intense it is for me. How it must feel like for others with BPD too!

What I do grieve on is how much I will never ever... have that proper motherly connections. People have always been able to handle it. Haha.

But I? I jus cannot, in fact "handle it". Or "deal with it" as some may also say so.

It's like.. You're expecting me, someone who's tried to attempt at bettering themselves, finding ways to be better at approaching and shit-- keep going no matter what..? Why?

Why has it always been me ? Am I not allowed to complain? I used to says to myself, & I guess insolent creatures who barely have the capacities like the ways that I do, don't even think for a second why's it a failed dead relationship!

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents butt... IF you cannot accept one to be with an asshole of a lover or best friend-- what differences does it make if it's your own literal blood?

No sorry, lemme reframe that: Why would someone allow you to be with your abusive parents, but not with someone who isn't of your very own blood ? It's just fucking BLOOD. It doesn't mean Jack Shittingston!!

I grieve that. I grieve for not being able to have a family, it's been loong dead for me. You just aren't aware of it. Not up until now, perhaps? Huh.

I die each time I think about hugging my own mother. I just have stopped myself now, cuz mi mind's gonna play tricks on me.. again. She'll think that it is love, but the love that there is ? It cannot out weigh the pains and the horrors existing.

I can't ever talk about basic things now. It's gone too far onwards, through the mountains & high altitudes. I can't have proper conversations. A few bits and pieces are like peace through mild yet cautious common grounds. Common grounds are where the shit is calm seas. Sorta.

Unlike most, I can't ever talk about loves & shits alike. I can't speak my minds about my sexuality or my genderqueer identity. I can't exactly even speak of interesting Christian shits, so really... its all dead to me.

Sometimes I wonder. What's it like to have some kind of a relationship? With your mothers? How open are you? How does it feel like to have someone like that in one's own life? Tis not for .. those of us who're lacking them. Not us who don't have mothers. Rather those who do!

I feel so stuck. I feel extremely empty, trapped and suffocated. I don't like it but it's always just whatevers & a dash of eventuallys. The amounts of times I wasn't able to say "she's actually abusive." to those who's brain organs do exist unlike mines. I couldn't verbalise/vocalise it. I couldn't even see through it. Another thing to grieve . *whispers* it is it is..

Its true what they say, we BPDers be the grievers of what happened, and what has not happened. My soul breaks and she haunts the chasms of my dark abyss of a body. The mind. There's a whole detachment that goes on. A whole loada heaviness and sadness weighing down upon me. You can't climb up; up and leave it be. Wounds freshly seared and becoming known to me, it'll take a whole lot of an eternity to heal.

If I were immortal, perhaps I would be able to tell you the deeper differences of grieving Dead vs Living peoples. Sadly, ahaha, I am no immortal being, I am but a mortal soul who knows how to merely explain the differences.

To grieve the Dead, is to know that they are forever gone, gone far off into the Spirit Realm. Gone & always remembered. Heaviness weighs you and you cannot see them ever again. Not yet for now. Probably wishes of changes or words or things wanting to have been solved blossoms. They bloom within you. Years can go by, it can still hurt you, make you cry sometimes-- become so sad & lonely even.

To grieve the Living, is to know that they are still alive, here still breathing. Existing . An avalanche of horrors happen too, cuz you realise that there's no way things can be amended or fixed or whatever. You watch them daily, crying on the insides, detaching yourself and endlessly attempting to make changes that evaporate into the thin airs.

At the end of the day, they both still hurt. 1 where you wish shit could've changed before they passed on wards. The other, you wish to solve things & make em better-- but you've already come to terms that it's allll bloody dead. Gone away, so very far away. I guess I'd rather sit in the depths of Hell than to be alive on this damned realm & die continuously from stress & sadness. To me, grieving the Dead is far more better than grieving the Living. Cuz you don't have to die each time you hope for changes. For the Dead it isn't possible anymore to expect and hope for fucking changes. *whispers quietly* No more, no more...

-- Lena Eclipse Oriña Reaper. Leo Reaper. 29/04/2023.

[joltning]

“I could analyze this trailer better than the actual full s19 season.” Actually FUCK you why not. there is no one stopping me this is tumblr for gods sake who fucking cares if this is 2 years old the actual season felt like an April fools joke more than this did

I distinctly remember him posting transcripts for scripts and concepts on his Twitter, but now twt doesn’t let you see posts without an acc. if someone could snatch that for me……

also fair warning!!!! fake trailer. This guy is not gonna actually make s19

anyway let’s start. Scene one I DO remember this from the script. unsurprisingly it’s locus’ flashback in the temple but the original scene without him in the middle. actually so goated. I’m not sure what that monster in the middle is but I’d assume a halo creature

skipped the inbetween shot of Sarge (?) on the warthog. iirc the reason it’s called “heros” is because he’s training to be a sangheili warrior. I assume someone attacked a sangheili base here because u can clearly see a sangheili statue with the signature energy sword

These 5 as a core group is SO FUCKING GOOD. Also they did simmons robot arm before rvb L L. Anyway having a mix of more important characters at the forefront while also letting bg character shine through is a good play. THE UMM AMMO SLING THING FOR GRIF SO GOOD im not sure what weapon simmons has but ohhh doc with the rocket launcher

honestly… do I even have to say anything. Gosh

DONUT WORKING AT THE CAFE? EEEKK like of course he’d make a cafe when going on his little break. ahhhh it’s so much better than having a fuckinh brain cloud cameo

grey cameo in the back! Anyway this audio is pulled from a deleted/extra scene I can’t remember where but i remember when I saw it I was like Omg that’s the audio from that trailer…goes Perfectly with the song (superhero). Also can I just point out this hospital looks So much better than the one in restoration lol

from armor alone I think these guys are charon/insurrection? Unless they just made a new faction for the trailer but idk. It seems from other shots they have weird glowy swords? Not the energy ones but smth dif

OH MY GOD. This shot I love. Sarge on the odst drop pod BUT SIMMONS TOO? Plsssss

nothing to say except goddamn this shit beautiful

CAROLINA AND SIMMONS SPARING LIVES RENT FREE IN MY FUCKING HEAD ALL THE TIME.

hard to get a good sc but GRIF SIBS BACK TO BACK FIGHT + KAI YSING GRIFSHOT 😭😭😭😭🫶

JUNIOR AND TUCKER FIGHTING TOGETHER + JUNIOR ENERGY SWORD!!!! I also remember this one from the scripts Junior got his sword in a ceremony early on :)

Hargrove. Haarerrgroge Oh my god HARGROVE

IF YOU MADE IT ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE!!!!! WATCH EPROTH STUDIO’S RVB WORK I TJINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME HE POSTED AN ANIMATION JUST 7 DAYS AGO!!

restoration isn’t real happy birthday merry Christmas this is MY season 19 forever and always solos that flop goodbye goodnight forever never living ever never existed let’s kill ourselves what if we all just killed ourselves we should k