#umbrella lightsaber

[inquisitor-apologist]

EDIT: Anon has informed me that Obi Wan’s weapon is a meteor hammer, which is pretty cool!

For the uninitiated:

Gunsaber

Inquisicoptor

Lightwhip

Umbrellasaber

Lightsaber knifesuit

Lightsaber tonfas

Swiss Army Knife Saber

Weird saber vents

Obi-Wan’s meteor hammer thingy

Jocasta Nu lightsabergun

[thatoneluckybee]

Also Goro is a professional detective and hitman but in the meta verse so like characters have weapons which are like theoretically their preferred/best weapons and like. Haru has an ax and a grenade launcher. Mona has a kind of sword and a slingshot. Ryuji has a bat and a shot gun.

YOU KNOW WHAT GOROS WEAPONS ARE???

Lightsaber and ray gun. HE IS A CHILD AT HEART YOUR HONOR.

I should not be allowed in the metaverse it would all be medical malpractice and an umbrella.

[biropen]

Getty images

[setaflow]

Any criticism you can throw at Star Wars: Visions should be negated solely because of the unique lightsaber designs.

[someone-else-entirely]

Back from concert!! It was awesome!!!

I sat next to a guy named Phil who gave me a Rob Zombie poster he'd bought but didn't end up wanting (said his wife wouldn't appreciate him hanging it in the house)

It was nice of him, but it's added one more to the weird trend I've noticed throughout my life of People Just Giving Me Stuff

[cielie-voss]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Me, a 26 year old adult, to everyone who's willing to listen: look at my super cool lightsaber umbrella! And it can change colors! Now I'm a Sith! And now a Jedi!

[savage-rhi]

Wesker: Redfield, our instruments measured that you were driving 100 mph in one of STARS jeeps.

Chris: sorry captain, but the speed limit does not apply when the free bird solo comes on.

@rebelwithoutaclock Coming up! To read the other STARS shenanigans drabbles, here they are 1, 2, 3,

"Alright everyone, gather around. Let's make this mid-week huddle a quick one," Wesker hollered, gesturing with his right hand for everyone in the STARs unit to come into the meeting room.

He took off his shades, rubbing his eyes while mentally bracing himself. Between his nefarious obligations to Umbrella and trying to run a police department, he could feel the exhaustion creeping in. A wave of regret pooled in the back of his subconscious, wishing he had the foresight years ago to not work two jobs. Alas, he made his bed and had to lie in it. That didn't mean he didn't have an intrusive thought or two about cleaning up shop as far as the RPD was concerned, especially with the shenanigans the STARs team in particular pulled.

For being the best, they sure aren't the brightest...he thought as he made himself comfortable in front of the podium, watching the team members take their usual seats. He put his glasses back on and cleared his throat.

"First thing on the agenda is the lightsaber incident," Wesker couldn't believe he was saying this aloud and shook his head. "Mr. Vickers, when you're on patrol and see a group of teens reenacting a movie scene, that doesn't mean you stop your vehicle and join them. Especially when you're in the middle of an investigation. Might I add the delay in your scheduled flight with Mr. Sullivan made it so Ms. Chambers took one for the team and covered your ass."

Quiet snickers filled the room as Brad's face blushed. He wanted to shrink into a puddle and disappear, wondering who ratted him out. All he could do was meekly reply, "Y-yes sir…I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Good," Wesker stated. He ignored the fact that Rebecca herself patted Brad's knee and whispered 'it was alright,' too focused on Chris, who was unable to keep a straight face compared to his colleagues. "Redfield, earlier this week our instruments measured that you were driving a hundred miles per hour in one of our STARS jeeps. Care to explain?"

Jill and Barry, sitting on either side of Chris, quietly chuckled at Chris's expense, earning a quick glare from him before he forced himself to look at Wesker.

"Sorry, captain," Chris coughed. "But the speed limit does not apply when the 'Free Bird' solo comes on."

Barry and Jill bowed their heads in front of the table, their shoulders quaking as they tried to hold back their laughs. Even members of the Bravo team were having difficulty keeping it together at the visual alone.

"You know what else doesn't apply, Redfield?" Wesker asked as a matter of fact.

"I don't know, sir," Chris gestured. "Enlighten me."

"The time-off request you submitted last week. Consider it tabled for insubordination."

"Son of a bitch…!" Chris whispered harshly under his breath.

"And while we are on the subject of cars, Ms. Valentine and Mr. Burton, I'm putting you both on vehicle suspension for the remainder of the week."

"What, why!?" Jill exclaimed.

"But sir--!"

Wesker held up a hand, interrupting their protests. "I doubt Redfield was able to come up with the 'Free Bird' bit on his lonesome. The man is full of colorful ideas, but you two are well known for encouraging him to see it through."

"Shit…"

"Fuck, he got us there," Barry muttered to Jill.

"Mr. Frost," Wesker let out a deep sigh for this one as he once again took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "While you are out on patrol, you can't go around with chalk outlining cars and trucks that don't park within the lines in a parking lot or park to the curb exactly with an exclamation of 'asshole parking' and proceed to ticket."

"But it's a good warning system!" Joseph glared and shrugged. "If they can't parallel park for shit, then they had it coming! If you would've put me on another assignment instead of having me play meter boy, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"Mr. Frost, get over yourself," Wesker growled. "I know you're angered that I set you on this task, but need I remind you what the alternative would've been?"

"All because I started the whole 'Wesker shits standing up' bit? Man, you need to take a joke!"

"Enough!" Wesker raised his voice. Whatever was left of the chuckles and laughs ceased immediately. He felt a sense of pride rise in his body as well as his blood pressure, and let out a deep breath. "Alright people, let's take five, and we'll meet back here to cover the recent cannibal attacks."

As the STARs Alpha and Bravo teams single filed out of the room, Wesker thought he had a moment of peace until he heard Joseph holler:

"I still stand by what I said, Wesker shits standing up everyone!"

Wesker made a fist, his teeth clenched.

The thought of siccing a pack of Cerberus onto the man was beginning to sound more and more delicious with each passing minute. He smirked to himself, riding on the high from the visuals that came and went through his mind of Joseph being ripped apart.

Maybe Birkin and I can brainstorm later…

If you like my work and feel generous, feel free to donate to my ko-fi account or my cash app account!

Cash App: $JayRex1463

[kylanfedje]

Disney Star Wars Retrospective - Episode I: The Phantom Mouse

A long time ago, in a conference room far, far away....

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Or is it the lightsaber? On October 30, 2012, a few strokes of ink were all it took for one of the most lucrative media enterprises of all time to be subsumed into arguably the largest entertainment empire in history. I am talking of course about the $4.5 billion sale of Lucasfilm to the Walt Disney Company, which brought iconic film franchises like Indiana Jones and Star Wars under the ever-expanding Disney umbrella of intellectual properties.

While Indiana Jones has been no box-office slouch, George Lucas’ epic space fantasy saga was the real prize in the transaction. And the new regime at Lucasfilm, headed by Kathleen Kennedy, longtime movie producer and frequent collaborator of Steven Spielberg’s, could hardly wait for the dust to settle before greenlighting a series of moves that would define the franchise for the decade to come.

Shortly after the purchase was announced, so too were a new trio of Star Wars films set after the Original Trilogy, which would pick up the stories of Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Han Solo, and a host of new characters as they sought to protect the galaxy against a resurgent evil, seeking to destroy the peace brought by the establishment of a New Galactic Republic. Additionally, the company also announced plans for a series of anthology films, which were to release between the latest installments in the Sequel Trilogy. However, to compensate for the number of resources devoted to such an ambitious film schedule, the fan-favorite Star Wars: The Clone Wars series, which had aired five seasons on Cartoon Network since 2008, would come to an end. Alongside these announcements was also the confirmation that the Expanded Universe (EU) material, the books and comics that had filled out so much of the galaxy’s lore before, between, and after the films, was no longer considered canon for the purposes of new Star Wars projects and would be reclassified as “Legends.”

Many of the creatives behind The Clone Wars continued onto Rebels, including showrunner Dave Filoni, and as a result, many storylines and characters from the former were brought into the latter in one way or another. Fan favorites like Captain Rex and Hondo Ohnaka would return, as well as lesser-known ones like Saw Gerrera and Bo-Katan Kryze would appear, though rarely for more than a few episodes at a time at most. But easily the most prevalent of The Clone Wars originals to join the cast of Rebels was the one and only Ahsoka Tano, the former Padawan of Anakin Skywalker who, after being falsely accused of bombing the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and murdering a witness to cover it up, decided to walk away from the Order, even after she was exonerated on all charges. Since The Clone Wars hadn’t reached its natural endpoint of the Jedi Purge (commonly known as Order 66) before its untimely cancellation, fans were left wondering what fate may have befallen their favorite ex-Jedi at that critical moment in Star Wars lore. Now, they would at least know she had survived Emperor Palpatine’s directive to rid the galaxy of the greatest threat to his power, even if the specifics of how she’d done so were left unsaid at the time.

However, Rebels was hardly a direct successor to The Clone Wars in terms of its general tone and art direction, both of which were noticeably altered from the relatively mature and moody atmosphere of its predecessor, particularly its later seasons — though Rebels would eventually reach similar levels of emotional and thematic intensity as The Clone Wars had by the end of its run. But while the lighter tone of Rebels can be easily attributed to a desire by the franchise’s new overlords to keep the franchise more in line with Disney’s “family friendly” brand ethos, the change in art direction is more indicative of a broader trend within the franchise that began in this time and arguably persists to this day, which is an almost compulsive reverence for the Original Trilogy and its iconography.

It’s no secret to anyone familiar with the history of cinema that the Star Wars prequels were not very well-received upon their initial release, though they have received a critical reappraisal by fans in recent years. Either way, when Lucasfilm went to work on their new slate of Star Wars projects in 2013, the general consensus was still that the Prequel Trilogy was a collection of overly ambitious and poorly executed disasterpieces, a fact they were like well aware of and would make them want to avoid whatever associations with it they could when developing new material. This might also help to explain why The Clone Wars, a series set in the midst of the trilogy, was cancelled so unceremoniously at the time, with only a 13-episode sixth season released straight to Netflix, a handful of unfinished animatics dumped on the Star Wars website, and other unproduced story arcs being adapted into quasicanonical books and comics to fill the void left in its wake.

What this represents is a desire among the creative minds behind the franchise towards inserting Original Trilogy “fan service” into their work. The style of Ralph McQuarrie’s concept art, while critical in shaping the visual language of Star Wars, is in truth only recognizable as such to the most die-hard of fans and thus provides no more — or less — value to the average viewer, and therefore can be seen as a decision made primarily to cater towards the superfans while not alienating newer or less knowledgeable ones. Likewise, the series’ (re)introduction of Grand Admiral Thrawn in the third season can easily be understood as yet another case of this phenomenon, albeit in a slightly different manner.

The character of Thrawn was first created for Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire trilogy of novels, a core component of the EU/Legends canon written in the early 90s during that time when Star Wars was mostly seen as “uncool nerd shit” to the general public. But for the fans who grew up reading and loving these books, they may have felt hurt and betrayed when Disney came in and told them these stories were no longer canon. So, when Thrawn reappeared in Rebels with the same character design and personality as he had in the novels, it signaled to them that the franchise was still willing to look to the EU/Legends for inspiration and would even draw directly from them, thus rewarding their continued devotion to the franchise’s extended lore.

That’s not to say that casual fans were necessarily turned off by this either. If anything, because the Heir to the Empire novels were no longer canon, it was easier for them to only see Thrawn as the version that appeared in Rebels and therefore discard the ancillary material as unnecessary to understanding who he was, where he came from, and what he wanted. Those novels still existed if they wanted to dive deeper, but it was ultimately inessential to following the show’s plot, and thus wouldn’t make newer or more casual fans feel like they had “homework” to do before they could start enjoying the franchise’s current marquee offerings.

In a similar vein to Thrawn’s role in the series is that of Darth Maul, the failed apprentice to Darth Sidious who somehow survived being sliced in half by Obi-wan Kenobi during a duel on Naboo in The Phantom Menace. It could have — and probably should have — been a disaster class in fan service when he was brought back in The Clone Wars, but to the show’s credit, it went to great lengths to make it work both narratively and thematically. It presented his miraculous survival as the product of pure hatred, channeled through the Force, and directed towards the man who nearly killed him and the master who abandoned him. Through much of his screentime both shows, he is motivated almost singularly by a desire for revenge against both Kenobi and Sidious, eventually culminating in a final rematch between him and Kenobi in the Tatooine desert that ends with him being slain and set free at last from his eternal torment.

For Rebels viewers who had perhaps seen the main saga films — Episodes I-VI at the time — but missed The Clone Wars, Maul’s return would come as an utter shock. The last they had seen of this man he had been falling down a reactor shaft in two pieces; now he was alive and well and menacing the galaxy yet again. When did this happen? How did this happen? They would have to watch The Clone Wars or read a Wookiepedia article to learn for themselves, since the show mostly assumed you were already aware of his return. Thankfully, the entire show was available on a popular streaming service and came highly regarded by much of the fandom, so the reward for “doing their homework” might be seen as worthwhile. Not to mention its arc-based structure lent well to isolating a few specific episodes as “essential,” instead of needing to view the entire show to understand how and why Maul had come back from the dead. And yet, the prospect of there being “homework” at all for an animated show geared towards children and teens might have also turned away some of those who had been lured in by the stormtroopers and lightsabers they once knew and loved.

All told, the first few years of Star Wars under its new management indicated a great deal of how the next decade of Star Wars media would play out. Anything the fans didn’t like — the prequels, mainly — could be mostly ignored. Aspects of the franchise beloved by fans but unknown to broader audiences — The Clone Wars and the EU /Legends— may continue to appear, but only when it can contribute positively to the story already being told. And above all, stick to what everyone knows and loves as much as you can — the aesthetics and iconography of the Original Trilogy: X-Wings and TIE Fighters, Rebels and Empire. These were as good as gospel in Disney’s new church of Star Wars, a fact which was only proved truer when the highly anticipated Episode VII hit theaters in December 2015, the first theatrical live-action Star Wars movie in a decade, and the first since the Disney buyout.

[boasamishipper]

LARROQUETTE POLL ROUND ONE RECAP

our original pool of sixteen sexy larroquette characters has been winnowed down to an elite eight. if your faves won the fight, congratulations! pat yourselves on the back for a vote well cast and a propaganda campaign well run. if your faves sadly did not emerge victorious, don't worry: the round one losers will have a bracket of their own after this tournament is over, so they'll all have one more shot at the crown.

let's meet our elite eight!

Billy Ace (Choose Me)

though David Bedford (Blind Date) fought the good fight, Billy Ace (of tall dark and handsome, leather jacket, and motorcycle riding fame) emerged victorious with 18 votes to 12. hopefully David will find consolation in his gigantic pile of teddy bears.

Carl Sack (Boston Legal)

his bitchiness, stoic demeanor and steadfast refusal to take part in the Shenanigans™️ around him have bewitched larroquette nation body and soul: Crane, Poole, and Schmidt senior partner Carl Sack beats serial killer-turned-attorney Joey Heric (The Practice) 33 votes to 9. 'no hard feelings,' says Joey amiably while sharpening his knives. sleep with one eye open, Carl.

Jenkins (The Librarians)

this race saw the highest voter turnout, and while things were close in the beginning, TWW's Lionel Tribbey's faithful cricket bat was no match for Jenkins's sword, or his crossbow, or his lightsaber, or his bow ties, or his clubbing outfit. with 36 votes to 24, our beloved caretaker moves onto the next round, and Lionel Tribbey can take a much needed vacation someplace warm, with as many drinks with little umbrellas in them as his heart desires <3

John Hemingway (The John Larroquette Show)

hemingway during the final hours of the race:

it was close, but our favorite well-read bus depot manager John Hemingway emerged victorious over ex cop turned lawyer curmudgeon with a heart of gold Mike McBride. congratulations john! see you next time, mcbride!

Bob Anderson (Baa Baa Black Sheep)

our good baby-faced second lieutenant took the lead early on and maintained it all the way to the end. rip Captain Stillman. back to commanding officer duty at an alaskan weather station you go.

Mark Bannister (Madhouse)

in a race that led many (my dear friend emily @footnoteinhistory) to ask Why Are You Doing This To Me, sexy yuppie driven to madness Mark Bannister (Madhouse) beats nice handsome single father Don Moore (Summer Rental) 26 votes to 9. Mark may be going onto the next round, but does he have a boat? No? Didn't think so.

Roan Montgomery (Chuck)

another nailbiter of a race, but much like rock beats scissors, legend suave debonair secret agent man (Roan Montgomery) beats cigar-smoking businessman with a predilection for child murder (Lawrence Van Dough) every time. off you go to your next assignment, Agent Montgomery. Mr. Van Dough, back to court-mandated community service on the sprawling lawns of the Rich mansion with you.

Dan Fielding (Night Court)

he couldn't beat a dead man, he couldn't beat a spunky blonde, but by god, our favorite ADA absolutely trounced paranormal detective Wilbur Willis (Second Sight) in a battle of sexiness. good work as always, mr. prosecutor - let's see if you've got what it takes to go all the way!

Round 2 will begin at 12pm CT on 9/16.

[gemini-sensei]

Demetri Alexopoulos is a Star Wars Nerd Headcanons

💫 He made it a requirement that his friends watch Star Wars with him. You cannot tell me otherwise. Has said, "You have to watch this or else we can't be friends" but didn't actually mean it because he valued Sam and Robby's friendship way more.

💫 But Sam and Robby were down. They sat with him through every movie. Robby likes watching movies and Sam is pretty chill, though when Demetri starts talking during the movie, they both shush him.

💫 After the movies, they talked about everything and Demetri was more than happy to answer any questions they had. He was so giddy.

💫 Yes, he did have lightsabers as a kid and, yes, he does still have them in an old umbrella stand in his bedroom. He and Eli used to have lightsaber fights all the time but he doesn't really touch them nowadays unless he's dressing up as characters.

💫 When a new show or movie comes out, her celebrates with Star Wars themed snacks. He makes them himself and they're usually healthy snacks, few sweets shockingly. Lightsaber kabobs, Death Star PB&Js, and tries his damnest to make a BB8 pizza from scratch.

💫 Celebrates May the Fourth by buying himself a huge Star Wars Lego set and spending the day or weekend building it. While watching a show or movie. It's his favorite thing to do and loves it more when someone is there to do it with him.

[pummoosun]

☆Jedi Agere Flag☆

Two new jedi flags! Those are supposed to be an "umbrella" jedi agere flag; its literally for everybody! Caregivers, regressors, flips, dreamers etc.

First one is based on lightsaber colors, the second one is based on the colors that jedi clothing are often depicted in

@bunnelbaby

[nickeverdeen]

Sorting masterlist

Explenation what sorting is and how it works: here

————————————

I think making this a masterlist is a good idea so you won’t have to look through all fandoms on my page to see which sortings you can or can’t have

————————————

Possible sortings:

The Hunger Games + TBOSAS = What is your district?

Harry Potter = What is your Hogwarts house?

Arcane = Would you live in Zaun or Piltover?

Divergent = What’s your faction?

The 100 = What’s your clan?

The Legend of Korra + Avatar The Last Airbender = What’s your bending?

The Legend of Korra + Avatar The Last Airbender = What’s your nation?

The Umbrella Academy + The Sparrow Academy = What’s your superpower?

The Umbrella Academy + The Sparrow Academy = Are you a Sparrow or an Umbrella member?

The Last of Us 1 + 2 = What’s your faction/group?

Horizon Zero Dawn + Horizon Forbidden West = What’s your tribe?

The Outer Banks = Are you a pouge or kook?

Percy Jackson show + books = What’s your cabin?

Star Wars = Are you a Jedi or Sith?

Star Wars = What’s your lightsaber’s color?

Fourth Wing + Iron Flame = What’s your quadrant?

Fourth Wing + Iron Flame = Who’s your dragon?

The Powerful Elites = What’s your superpower?

[kirklandsheartsecrets]

Having an adoptive son like Alfred and him finding out that she's an awesome swordswoman, he would probably gift her a toy- maybe even real lightsaber for Christmas or for her b day.

And since swords became old fashioned, she's probably ecstatic about it and start doing tricks with it.

england x reader || married au || bonus, water park fights

this made me think about that skin in league of legends with a really good dualist. I will mention it later.

🤍 It started at the water park, you were with Alfred, Arthur and Matthew. 

You hid your face from the sun, your hand over your skin and roots of your hair still damp from the pool.

Walking with Alfred towards the main entrance, you two went to walk around in need of the warmth.

Being in water for hours, swimming around  and often sleeping on the fake plastic grass where you found a spot in the shade this morning occasionally made you cold.

The warm water from the special pool wasn’t warm enough anymore and neither Arthur’s body and his embrace could warm you up.

Even with a beautiful blue sky and a mid day sun, the wind occasionally gave you chills, only your towel as coverage.

So now you’re walking around with the American around the water park. You carefully walk bare foot over the designed path so the travertine tiles being exposed all day to the sun would bring heat to your feet and bodies.

As your feet take every step it burned, but rapidly the heat became comfortable.

The same heat earlier absolutely burning your skin now feels incredible against it.

You notice the main pool facing the entrance, few life guards standing around the fake rocks and high chairs surrounding the different areas, all connected to the same pool. However only random lines separated the areas, many people just walking over them to jump in another pool.

The lifeguards, mostly students on their summer jobs have been the same ones over a week now. They were really nice to you  and Arthur. They occasionally talk to families or say hello to the kids asking them random questions. 

“Is there an event today ?” 

You stopped, making the blue eyed American next to you also stop, few steps after. 

Alfred looks up at the main pool and takes a step closer to the fake orange-pink rocks. Many people were sitting down in the pool, with aqua bikes below them.

“Aqua bike event— I think”

Alfred’s head turns to you.

“I didn’t know, I thought it was only around 11 in the morning.” You said.

“Maybe they changed, happens” Alfred added.

You two put your forearms over the rocks, the heat radiating from their fake materials making the most uncomfortable place in the park suddenly the best spot to lay on. 

You two leaned, watching curiously the group, it just looked interesting to watch people do aquabiking, specifically when you were facing-laid against this warm rock.

“Your birthday is tomorrow Alfred— do you want me to sign you up to the aqua bike morning session ?” You joked, still looking over the kids, older people and many randoms trying to follow the instruction of their “coach”.

The woman keeps screaming, instructions from her bike, out of the water and blasting electro, dubstep songs for people to get into the activity.

You were amazed by how the instructor skin was glowing under the sun, her job being, biking under no shade, almost in a full gym outfit, only sunglasses covering her eyes, screaming over the blasting electronic music and doing the same amount of exercise as the people in water, but outside from the pool. However, when the music became a bit less louder from a minute ago, your heard clicking sounds.

The clicking sounds could be anything. You didn’t turn around at first, thinking that it could just be someone fighting with their beach umbrella and the wind, or trying to hold their whole’s family umbrella and bags in one trip. Casual family water park problems you experienced in your life already, specifically with all the colonies, and still with Alfred and Matthews sometimes. 

The clacking sound sounding like plastic kept going, you didn’t notice Alfred leaving your side silently as you were fully staring at the people biking in water to the music beat.

It’s only when you noticed his silhouette missing from your side that you turned around, looking for his familiar figure. 

Quickly you did notice him, arms crossed over his chest looking at kids, fighting with plastic light sabers, known from their design in the movie Stars wars. 

Kids aged around 6 to 12 were in pairs, fighting for fun. 

You approached the American, three steps away from you, now concentrated by the kids activity.

Yoh kept your towel tightly around your body, noticing the families around the kids laid on their towels sleeping, tanning or just sitting there watching over nothing. 

Alfred sees the woman giving the light sabers to kids coming up to her, she walks over to the him and you.

“What’s happening there ?" Alfred asks, pointing to the light sabers and kids,

“We just got these for people who wanna play around, we can teach you quickly how to fight with those, obviously it’s all for fun,” the woman says, looking behind her to the pairs fighting around, nothing serious.

“Do we have to pay or something?” The American asked,

“ Absolutely not, it’s all fun and games, just don’t run and hit the people laying around—“ she laughed, earning from you and Alfred childish smiles.

“Can we try?” You blurted out, the woman nodding, handing you light sabers.

“Don’t hit your eyes or the head of course— you should be fine!” She warns, but her vibe becoming more friendly as she looks at a dad playing with his daughter behind.

“Thank you,” you and Alfred thanked the woman before walking in an empty spot, near all the pairs but not too far away from the people laying around. 

“It’s just like fighting with our pool fries—“

Alfred teased, starting to make moves with the green lightsaber in his hands.

“I did beat you with those, lightsabers are no different—“ you commented,

“You have more experience and did fought with real swords— it’s not fair—“ Alfred fake cried, still hitting your lightsaber lightly. 

You two were barely fighting, keeping it playful, to not go overboard and hurt a someone.

Alfred was smiling, really happy to be able to share this moment with the woman he saw as his mother figure. 

He was happier then, he was a child, but he is happy and grateful now. 

This smile over his face gives him a glimpse of memories he has with you. When you would fight for fun with Arthur in the living room or telling pirate stories before bed to him and Matthew playing the fights described in the stories. 

He remembers the costumes Arthur would take out from his special closet, how he would love with amazement your fake duels. Furthermore, your feet work and how each of you would dodge the others swords. 

When you thought it was time to go back to Arthur and Matthew, probably either sleeping on the plastic grass with two towels on top of their heads, laid over their stomachs. Alfred told you he’ll join you in a few minutes. Saying he wants to check out something.

“I’ll be back with them then, at the towels.” 

You announced to the blonde, earning a nod from him as he walked away.

You walked back to your husband and the Canadian next to him, chuckling over their tans forming on their skin, when you could clearly see from their swim trunks their original skin color. 

“Alfred says he is coming soon,” you announced, now sure that they knew about your presence next to them. The towels over their heads did block their views, plus they couldn’t really know from the sound of your steps if it was you or any other stranger walking around instead of taking the right walking path.

Later on, Alfred came back, hurriedly walking to you. By then, Matthew sat back up, his back against the wall behind him, phone in hands looking at pictures you took of them.

You noticed the plastic grey package in Alfred’s hands immediately,

“What did you bought again ? We already have pool fries and water guns—“

“Happy early birthday—“ he cut you, shoving the object in your hands.

“Oh well, thank you but what is it— ? A lightsaber— why ?”

You smiled as you asked and looked up to Alfred, his talking figure in front of your sitting on, hiding the sun perfectly.

“You’re the most amazing swordswoman I met, plus the old man right there,” he points to Arthur, still head fully under his towel and mumbling insults to his own “son”,

“Said you didn’t have any lightsaber from Star Wars— so I got you one!"

Alfred finished,

“No need to Alfie, oh but thank you— I’ll try it now if you want—“ you thanked and opened the plastic package, trying the lightsaber in your hands. This one being bigger and heavier than the ones the woman gave you earlier, obviously for kids. 

You felt the lightsaber in your hands, the sounds coming from it and vibrations, faking the movie effects. When done doing pretty tricks with it and turning it back off, you hugged your older son. Thanking him again for the lovely gift, it wasn’t much, but the thoughts and memories associated with this plastic toy meant more than a real sword and meant more duels with your boys.

[headlesssamurai]

White liberal vibes

You know, the other day, I was having a conversation with an old friend after her husband and I had gone out for a range day.

We were prepping food on their deck. I was grilling the meats because I don't care for professional sports, and thus I could stand to miss many major moments of whatever sportsball game was being watched inside, whilst simultaneously putting my modest background in sous chef employment to use for the first time in ages.

She and I discussed books we'd been reading recently, as their kids ran around swatting each other with toy lightsabers, and as a happenstance we wandered onto the subject of widespread illiteracy in the modern generation. This, of course, was accompanied by the requisite list of personal pet peeves with regards to poorly composed written communication (and a bafflingly coincident overreliance on such in digital format), the infectious rot played by social media in this trend, and the oft-confused distinction between reading a book yourself (like, you know, with your eyes) and listening to someone else read it for you.

One of the pet peeves mentioned by my friend was this unusual habit for a great swath of folks on the internet to write incomplete thoughts without context or punctuation, and expect others to understand whatever this unstructured nonsense is intended to convey. I recall chuckling at the time, as I've noticed this type of thing happening as far back as the MySpace days, and more recently across YouTube and Tumblr. My friend and I exchanged jokes, laughed, she sipped her beer, I sipped my bourbon, and around that time the potatoes were about done. So we went inside to eat.

I only mention this because it seems such strange luck you'd send me three words out of context like this in a puzzling display of the exact thing I was so recently laughing with my friend about.

I was a bit confused about how to respond at first, so I'll just say - whatever your intent - all three of those words are so utterly overused in today's world I'd regard them as having almost no remaining functional meaning whatsoever. I'll also recommend you do a bit of cursory research into where the term "liberal" originated, and a commensurate amount of research into just how many distinct ethnic groups the United States' federal government sweep under the umbrella label of "white" to get a sense of how hilariously reductive that term happens to be in a society that claims to care so much for so-called diversity. It's as stupidly, ridiculously oversimplified as the terms "Black", "Asian", and "Middle-Eastern".

All that said, hope you have a lovely night. Drink lots of water.

侍 headless

[queer-starwars-bracket]

Queer Star Wars Characters (Round 1): Ronin Match 1

The Ronin | Identity: pansexual| Media: Star Wars Visions “The Duel”/Ronin Novel

The Ronin is the former Sith turned Sith-hunter seen in the Star Wars Visions short “The Duel”. He is from a continuity where the Jedi go full samurai, serving an Empire. Twenty years ago, a group of disaffected Jedi rebelled as the Sith, plunging the galaxy into war. Haunted by his actions in the war, the Ronin has set off to kill all of the remaining Sith. This is interrupted when he is saved by a group of travelers who need his help to find the lost planet of Rei’zu, which disappeared at the end of the war. I don’t want to go into too much detail, as Ronin is an amazing novel with a lot of great plot twists. But in the course of his adventure and making his found family, he falls in love with the mysterious non-binary Traveler. Described as a “big bad pansexual sad” by the author, he also has an important past relationship with a woman. 

Kouru (Sith Bandit Leader) | Identity: wlw | Media: Star Wars Visions “The Duel”/Ronin Novel

Kouru is the Sith Bandit Leader from “The Duel”. She is from a continuity where the Jedi went full samurai and serve an Empire. She was taken from her home by the Jedi at a young age and raised as a second-class Jedi, lesser than those born into the clans from Jedi parents. She joined the Sith rebellion, where she created her umbrella auxiliary in defiance of the Order mandating only standard lightsabers. After the rebellion failed, twenty years later she is a bandit leader terrorizing the people of Genbara. She is killed by the Ronin, but a mysterious entity revives her and fills her with a desire to kill the Ronin. She eventually has to team up with the Ronin’s new found family, where she falls in love with Ekiya. I’m keeping things vague, as Ronin has a lot of good plot twists.

[casiavium]

I need a new umbrella should I get one that lights up like a lightsaber or the master sword